Transcript
Marc Maron (0:00)
Lock the gate. All right, let's do this. How are you? What the fuckers? What the fuck, buddies? What the fuck? Nicks, what's happening? I'm Marc Maron. This is my podcast. Welcome to it. If you're new here, welcome. You got a lot of catching up to do if you're regulars. How are you? Everything all right? Did you get that thing fixed? When are you going to see the guy? When are you going to see the doctor? When are you going to see that guy about your car? When's the guy coming over to fix the thing? What's happening? Where are we at? Slow down. Take it easy. Take a breather. Don't get your heart rate too fast. Hey, look. What is happening? What is happening? We're standing here on the brink of destruction. Oh, my God. What a relief it is to have a president that unites the people and is able to give them comfort in difficult times. What a relief that we have a president who feels like a leader and that we can all rally behind and kind of know that he'll do his best to do the right thing. What a relief we have a responsible and thoughtful and intelligent president surrounded by thoughtful, intelligent, and professional people. You know, it's rare that it happens, but, man, we've really got it now, don't we? God damn it, yes. We're all gonna go down together, even those of us that didn't want to. Anyway, what's happening? I have. What I. What have I been doing? First off. First off, Megan Stalter is on the show and she's so fucking funny. I mean, she is so fucking funny. She plays Kyla, the assistant to manager Jimmy, and later his co manager on Hacks. She has a background in sketch comedy and improv comedy, and now she has this new Netflix series called Too Much. But she's just a. A raw talent, man. And I mean that in the best way. Everything seems like it's happening in the moment and she's just naturally funny. I was very excited to talk to her. I didn't. I didn't know how much we talked about in terms of, like, you know, she's, you know, she's pretty young in terms of people. I know, but it was great, great conversation and I just like her. But aside from that, I've been taking it easy. Yeah. Taking it easy here on the brink of World War iii. Just trying to find a little space to enjoy my fucking summer. Turns out, I like summer. I don't know if I've really said it out loud, but summer is I used to think I was a fall guy because I like those colors. I like layering. But I think after years of being in Los Angeles where layering isn't that necessary, you know, I like wearing shorts. I like wearing surfer shorts. I like wearing sandals. I like wearing lineny kind of shirts, short sleeve shirts. And if it gets chilly, I got a buddy now, my friend Sarah over at Deco Denim. She made me two of these kind of lightweight chore coats that are just sweet. It's not that I'm moving out of the ship John thing. It's just a summer. Summer. We're doing a different thing. We need a little lighter, a little airy. I like the chore jacket. And I just want to sit on my fucking porch and think, have a coffee, read a little bit. I started reading Moby Dick. Is that. That's what I want to do? Is that okay? But there's a lot of shit going on, a lot of bad shit. But I'm finding a zone and take it fucking easy, man. Can you hear it in my voice? I'm going to take it fucking easy. Did a lot of cleaning, cleaned up the whole porch. It was getting a little. My porch was getting a little rednecky. A lot of stuff on the porch. There was some furniture that was no longer in the house. It was on the porch. A lot of boxes. There was a tarp on the porch. There was a broken table on the porch. Shit was building up, man. And I just cleaned it all up. Because your home, your apartment, whatever it is, whatever your living situation is, it does mean something. To get it in order to get it, streamline it to. To make it organized. Just so when you walk into it, there's a moment where you're like, yes, yes. And now I have that out there. So I had a weird thing happen, and I think I handled it well. But let's do some business. Don't worry about being away from home this summer. Now's the time to get the very best in home security. Simplisafe. We've been recommending SimpliSafe since 2016 as the best home security. And now it's even better. Simplisafe stops intruders before they break into your home. Older systems only take action once someone is already inside. That's too late, because he's in there. He's in there already. Simplisafe's Active Guard, Outdoor Protection, changes the game by preventing crime before it even happens. If someone's lurking around or acting suspiciously, the Simplisafe agents see them in real time. Talk to them directly. Set off your spotlights. Hey, buddy, get off his porch. He just cleaned it. And even call the police. They call the police before anyone has a chance to break in. Plus, there are no long term contracts, no cancellation fees, and it's around a dollar a day for all this protection. WTF? Listeners get 50% off a new Simplisafe system with professional monitoring. And the first month is free. Go to simplisafe.com wtf that's simplisafe.com wtf for 50% off in the first month free. There's no safe. Like simply safe. All right? Can you dig it? You can watch me on the Apple show. Stick streaming now. I think there's four or five episodes up there. So here's what happens. So I get a package on my porch, my clean porch, and it's a UPS box. And I take it in the house, I open it, and in the box are a big. There's another. There's a manila envelope and then a stack of papers with canceled checks, not canceled checks, process checks and forms all about, you know, it's insurance stuff. It's, you know, Quest Diagnostics. But it's a stack of stuff. It looks pretty, you know, like someone is like turning in the whole file to get a claim met. And I'm like, what is this? At first I thought like, oh, no. And crazy person has sent me some. Something that I don't know what to do with. And then I realized it does have. It's a thing. This is supposed to be somewhere. It was an urgent box. And then I look at the mailing label and it's my address. Okay, my address. But it's addressed to the attention of some person, another person. And it's Blue Cross Booze Shield 3, 39th floor. My address in Glendale. And I'm like, what the fuck is happening? And then I started to kind of freak out, like, this needs to be somewhere. So I look up my address with Blue Cross Blue Shield and it's in a total other state. And then I taped the box back up because I don't know what to do with it. But I know it needs to get somewhere because someone might need to get their claim honored, if that even happens. So I call this Blue Cross Blue Shield in this other state. And of course you can't get through to anybody calling an insurance company. There's no way. And you're not going to get a person. There's no way to look it up. I looked up the person whose name was on it. And I'm like, fuck. I started to feel like the urgency, like, this needs to get somewhere. Someone sent this overnight, and now it's on my porch. So I go to ups and I'm like, I don't. I have a pretty good feeling. I did some research. This needs to be in Blue Cross Blue Shield. But this is my address. And the guy's like, yeah, well, we can't, you know, we can't return it to sender. You've opened it already. I'm like, well, what the fuck am I going to do? He goes, we can put it back in the system, but it'll just end up at your house. And I'm like, all right. And he said, what's the return address? And I'm like, it looks like I don't know. And I looked at the return address and I looked that up and. And that was in Texas at a boot cross Boo Shield in Texas. So I call that number and it's not even connected. Like I'm going to get through to insurance. So I don't know what to do. But this is the kind of thing where it's sort of like, not my problem, but isn't it, you know, somebody is, you know, looking to get made well by the insurance company. And it was a massive amount of paperwork, like, like singular paperwork, like checks. So I really had to figure out, you know, what am I going to do? Yeah, I made all the calls. I know it came from a Blue Cross, it's going to a Blue Cross both other states, but it is my address. So what I chose to do was go ahead and assume that I was correct in where it was supposed to go, and I just paid for it to be shipped there, not overnight. It would have cost a fortune. But it will get there, I think, and I just hope it gets there. But now I have the tracking and now I'm kind of invested in this story and now I'm in the middle of something. I. I don't think it's. I did anything wrong. I accidentally opened a package, but trying to make it right. And I hope it gets to where it needs to go. And I hope the person gets paid for their pain. I mean, that's why you have insurance. But someone fucked up. I guess it was just one of those, you know, same addresses and they give you all those options and someone hit the wrong one. But. But I hope it gets to where it's supposed to go. And I felt that was the right thing to do. And it did feel a bit like A good deed. And then I lost my. I was hoping for some karma, you know, I lost my. My AirPod case for my AirPods because I went into the gym with him, and then, I don't know, I left him somewhere. And. And it was a couple days ago, and I couldn't find him in my car, couldn't find him around my car when I came out because I knew they were somewhere. And I don't know, I didn't even think. I've got to adapt even deeper into technology. I didn't think to do the Find the thing, you know, app on the iPhone. I did it yesterday, and. And it said. It said that they were still in the parking lot. So I went back to the parking lot all excited. I thought, like, well, you know what? This is nice. Full circle day. Looked all over the place. No, couldn't find them, but they were there somewhere. And I went into the gym and I asked them if anyone brought them back. Because it's the parking lot for the gym. No. They suggest I go to the office of the parking lot. No. So now I'm just like, they're in a car. It's not specific enough, but probably for good reason. People are going to be showing up at people's houses. You got my. My AirPod case. No, I know you do. I followed the trail. It's right on my phone. You liar. You liar. But, you know, I'm impulsive and nuts, and I just. I couldn't find it. And then I assumed, well, someone must have put them in their car, and they're just sitting in a car. They found them, and they're not going to do anything with them. But I'm like, you're going to have to eat it, buddy. Gotta get another AirPod case. So I ordered that. But now, like, I think it'll be fun to check in and follow my other AirPod case around. Maybe someday it'll come back to me. Maybe someday I'll show up at someone's house and go, hey, I know this is weird, but do you have my AirPod case? The charging case? No. I know it's in here, you fuck. That's not the right tone. All right, so look, you guys, Megan Salter is here. She's in all four seasons of Hacks, and they're all streaming on Max. Her new Netflix series, Too Much, premieres July 10. And this is me meeting her and talking to her folks. Here's the thing about travel. We want it to be easy. Like, for me, I'll try to fly out of Burbank whenever I can. As opposed to go to lax, I deal with one car rental company. The bottom line is, anything I can do to make my trip easier, I'll do. And if you're hosting your place on Airbnb while you're away, now you can make that super easy for yourself as well. An Airbnb co host can take care of all the details for you. You get a high quality local co host to deal with your home and your guests so you can make some cash while you're away. And you don't have to worry about the listing or managing the reservations. The co host does all of that for you. Then they're available for anything your guests might need while they stay there. So relax, enjoy your time away knowing that a co host is taking care of everything. Make hosting your home easy and make some cash while you're at it. Find a co host@airbnb.com host all right. How you doing?