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Did I call it or did I call it? I mean, what did I say, six months? And when was her first date? So five-and-a-half? God, I hate it when I'm right. What is it about guys that makes them want to screw anything that walks... even when they're going out with someone as awesome as Allegra Cole? She's only the most fabulous thing walking around New York. Thanks, Young Are you kidding? Of course I'm gonna run it. Why should she waste her heart on some Swedish aristo-brat? Even if he is gorgeous. If he's stupid enough to cheat... the world should know he's dumb enough to get caught. Exactly. I'm in the elevator. See you in a minute. Good morning, how are you? Bitter, party of one. You should try it sometime. Barbados by myself? I wouldn't last five minutes. It was just what the doctor ordered. I slept in, I did my yoga, I read a couple of books... flirted with my scuba instructor. - And apparently never left the office. - I know, isn't that great? You should've taken someone with you. Who am I gonna take with me? This is where a boyfriend comes in handy. - I don't have time for a boyfriend. - You said that two years ago -Yes, and it's as true today as it was then. -I thought you were on vacation. -See if these are in focus and have them in my desk in an hour. Besides, relationships are for people waiting for something better to come along. Spoken like a true cynic. I'm not a cynic. I'm a realist. You are a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist. What are you doing here? What is she doing here? She works here, remember? No, she doesn't. Not for another four days. This couldn't wait. It could. What are you doing? Go back to the beach.I don't want you here. No, really, you do. You are becoming a sick, workaholic lunatic... and this is exactly... the kind of nervous, overwrought behavior that leads to... Pictures of Sebby with a busty brunette. ...A very big raise. Jesus. You could find dirt in a snowstorm. Comes with the job. You know, kiddo, there is more to life than watching other people live it. Can I help he was cheating on my beach? I think it's great that you're so good at your job. I'm just a little worried as to why. Let me worry about that. Okay. I want that column on my desk by lunch. So you'll pay for my hotel? For you to sip mai tais? I don't think so. Get out.

You cannot use what you do not have. So if you're shy, be shy. If you're outgoing, be outgoing. - I'm not outgoing. - That's okay She may not want the whole truth, but she does want the real you. She may not want to see it all at once, but she does want to see it. So tonight, when you're wondering what to say, how you look, or if she likes you... just remember, she is already out with you. That means she said yes when she could have said no. That means she made a plan when she could have just blown you off. So that means it is no longer your job to try to make her like you. It is your job not to mess it up. The shoes are hot. You went to the place I told you? Yeah, but I don't think they're really me. "You" is a very fluid concept right now. You bought the shoes. You look great in the shoes. That's the you I'm talking about. The key tonight is hang back. Give her plenty of space. If she lingers at a photograph, move on. But maintain the visual. It's supposed to be 64 and clear tonight. So when you leave the club, walk a little. Ask her what she thought about the show... what was her favorite photograph, why that one. And when she answers, don't be looking at her mouth. Don't be wondering what she looks like naked. Listen to what she is saying and respond. Listen and respond.

Basic principles: No woman wakes up saying: "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today." Now, she might say, "This is a really bad time for me." Or something like, "I just need some space." Or my personal favorite: "I'm really into my career right now." You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? Because she's lying to you, that's why. You understand me? Lying. It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. She may be into her career... but what she's really saying is, "Get away from me now." Or possibly, "Try harder, stupid." Well, which one is it? 60 % of all human communication is nonverbal-- Body language. 30% is your tone. So that means that 90% of what you're saying... ain't coming out of your mouth. (Toby! Shit!) Of course she's gonna lie to you. She's a nice person; she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings. What else is she gonna say? She doesn't even know you. Yet. Luckily, the fact is, that just like the rest of us... even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants-- until she sees it. And that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. (Toby! Oh, my God! Is this what you're looking for?) Basic principles: No matter what, no matter when, no matter who.. any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. Just needs the right broom.

There I was, trapped in a tiny office, staring at the clock. Time seemed to go at a glacial pace. I turned back to the computer, put my hands on the keyboard, and stared at the screen. I sat like that for hours- doing no work. But if someone walked by my office, it looked like I was working on the computer. Day after day, I did the same mind numbing routine. It was the most miserable job I ever had-- working for IBM. Is it possible to make a living in an honest, inspiring, interesting way? Is it possible to have freedom and autonomy in one's work life? Does work have to be boring and degrading? Last night I watched the movie "Office Space", a comedy about office workers. It was very funny because it was so true. As I watched, I remembered my experiences working for IBM- many years ago. The movie captured the sterility, the numbness, and the pointlessness perfectly Sadly, most jobs are like this. Most jobs, in my opinion, are factories of degradation. The workers' spirit and soul are crushed. Over time, people who work in such jobs become empty- depressed, heartless, and boring. Hakim Bey once wrote that "work is the most oppressive force we face, the greatest source of misery in our lives." This has certainly been true for me. I hated my job at IBM. I hated the sterility. I hated the insincerity. I hated the drab offices. I hated the boredom and humiliation. Since then, I've been on a quest for a better livelihood. I've been searching and searching for a good job- for something I love to do. I found that in teaching English. I love doing it. I love working with the students. They excite and inspire me. I love my time in the classroom.

It felt like two hot knives were stabbing me in the back-- right into my kidneys. It was a burning pain-- unavoidable. As my mind scanned this area of my back, it imagined two white-hot spots searing through my flesh. My knees also burned. My ankles burned. My feet were numb with a dull ache. But my back was the worst. I felt a wave of panic-- butterflies in my stomach and a tremendous urge to get up and run away. I gulped, refocused my mind on the sensations in my body, and remained still. I tried to follow the advisors instructions-- don't flee from the pain, go deeply into it. My mind concentrated on the burning kidneys. I tried to observe the pain dispassionately. What was it exactly? What is pain? How, exactly, did it feel? How large was the painful area? How deep? As I delved into the pain, an amazing thing happened-- the panic and fear drained away. My body heaved suddenly with a long, slow, very deep breath. As I exhaled, I felt a deep sense of calm wash through me. A natural, unforced smile crept onto my face. My mind remained focused and suddenly the intense pain didn't seem "painful". I noticed that the pain was, in fact, an area of more intense vibration--- but I was no longer experiencing it as something to escape or avoid. That was the moment I broke through-- at the end of the 8th day of a 10 day Vipassana meditation course. Vipassana is a form of meditation, sometimes translated to English as "Insight Meditation". It consists of a deep and systematic observation of one's mind and body. Vipassana has many variants and is taught by many different meditation schools, teachers, and groups.

I'm sitting at the table in my apartment, looking out the window. I turn back to the papers stacked in front of me. "Interesting", I say, "very interesting". I glance over the test scores again-- the pre-test numbers, the post-test numbers, and the amount each student improved. "Good, good", I say as I notice that all of the students improved over the course of the semester. All the post-test scores are higher than the pre-test scores. Most students improved by a couple of points... but my eyes are drawn to two sets of numbers.. two names: Kyoung and Jin. These two students improved dramatically more than all of the others. Their post-test scores show a big jump. "What did they do differently?", I ask myself. At the final class, I ask them. Since all of the students had the same inclass experience, I focus on what they did outside of class. Most students followed traditional study methods. They studied textbooks. They used vocabulary books. They went to traditional English (ESL) classes. But Kyoung and Jin followed a different approach. In fact, they actually followed the method I continually harangued the class about. They focused on repeated listening and reading for fun. Both students said they took my advice seriously and therefore listened to English podcasts and audio articles 1-2 hours every day. Kyoung joined The Linguist and faithfully uses their system. Both students also read for fun-- mostly "easy" materials such as "National Geographic For Kids", adolescent novels, etc. In TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) jargon, these two exceptional students followed an "input-based approach". The bulk of their study time was spent reading and listening to understandable and interesting English materials. Most students and schools follow an "analysis-based approach". The bulk of their time is spent analyzing the language, breaking it apart, memorizing grammar "rules", and doing drills.

A cat with an "incurable" kind of cancer. A job that is always tenuous. Human relationships that are fragile, unpredictable, and sometimes tumultuous. My own body, seemingly healthy- but still subject to disease, fatigue, and aging. Life is unpredictable. However much we think we have a handle on it, the truth is we never really know what's to come. Everything can change in an instant. This is a tough truth to accept, for though we know intellectually that all things in life are impermanent, we often don't feel it instinctively. We persist in our attempts to control lifewe imagine that we can predict and manipulate future events. We imagine that we control, or at least have a strong influence on, external events. But this is not really the case. In fact, all that worry, manipulation, and attempted control is mostly wasted energy. We are not the masters of the external world. We cannot predict the future. Our best laid plans are always subject to catastrophic failure. There is no security to be found in the outside world. There is no secure job, or relationship, or situation of any kind. Everything changes. We can, conceivably, lose them all in the blink of an eye. Where then is true security to be found? Certainly not in the external world, but rather, internally. "Trust yourself to react appropriately when catastrophe happens. Failure of nerve is really failure to trust yourself." -- Alan Watts This is the only true security- the security of trusting yourself, the security of flexibility and adaptability, the security of spiritual and emotional self-reliance. Rather than obsess over external events, we better serve ourselves by obsessing over our inner resources. Our security and happiness come from our inner peace-- our ability to accept any situation, adapt to it, use it, learn from it, and (perhaps)

Foreign language study has not been as successful as it should be. In fact, students are dropping like flies from foreign language programs. J.H. Lawson reports that the dropout rate in foreign language programs for American high school students is as high as 85% by the third year and 95% by the fourth year. Another study by John B. Carroll found that students who had studied for two years had a less than satisfactory proficiency as measured by standardized tests, which means that the first two years did not allow the student to become proficient enough to hold a conversation in the language. L.A. Jakobovits also found that most students who study foreign languages will probably never become fluent. Not only will most students have low proficiency in reading, writing, speaking, and listening-- they will actually experience negative learning. That is, they will learn to avoid the foreign language and culture at all costs. This is because of the many frustrations and failures they experience during their foreign language study. Perhaps the major reason for the lack of success of foreign language programs is the method used. The audio-lingual and grammar-analysis methods are popular approaches that came into wide use after World War II. These methods consist of memorizing grammar rules and dialogues and engaging in pattern practice drills. These methods do not produce communicative skill because language is "creative" and therefore theoretically infinite. Consequently, it is logical to conclude that since language has infinite possibilities, the methods of language instruction should teach the student to communicate creatively. A number of powerful methods have been effective doing just that. These include TPR, TPRS, Focal Skills, ALG, The Natural Approach, and The Effortless Way. The first of these, TPR, was created by Dr. James Asher. TPR stands for "Total Physical Response". Learning a language through TPR approximates the acquisition of your native language. This acquisition follows the order of listening first, and then speaking. Finally, the learner learns to read and write. In the receptive listening stage, the child hears different "sounds"

"It is easy to understand why many teachers revert to textbooks or worksheets when things around them are in constant, challenging motion, but they must learn to be in motion, too. The students are being loud; they are having a hard time paying attention to each other; they are having a hard time paying attention to the teacher. We all know that telling students to turn to page 37 and answer the questions can relieve chaos and make the room quieter for a time. I've recently heard of a new trend of teachers using wireless microphones in an effort to keep students' attention and be heard above the other noise in the classroom. Education is not about who can speak the loudest. It's about the students and teacher wanting to listen to each other. A truly personalized, small school allows that to happen. Another reason I look to my friend Tom Peters for ideas on how to deal with the tough moments is because he entitled one of his books "Thriving on Chaos". Tom told me it took him a long time to land on that word "thriving". But he was looking for a way of saying you must be ready for and enjoy the process of change. Our schools must be thriving environments, thriving on the chaos and on the beauty. We all need to re-examine our situations from time to time and make sure we are not sticking to old patterns in new situations."

TPRS (Teaching Proficiency through Reading and Storytelling). "Suppose you want to remember a list of words... you will more readily remember the words if you make a sentence or sentences connecting the words in the form of a short story. You would remember it even better if the story was easy to visualize and best of all if you could picture a story that was dramatic, or vulgar, or comic, or in some way involved your emotions. A story is in fact a good mnemonic, and the more elaborate the story the better. A story links words to be remembered and it causes you to build up scenes that have visual, aural, and sensory associations for you." (Collin Rose, 1985) While Effortless English is simple, it is also, in fact, designed according to research-proven methods. The major emphasis of the Effortless English approach is to help students acquire English thoroughly and effectively. One way to do this is with mini-stories. At first glance, the mini-stories may seem silly. They are usually kind of foolish and are quite simple. Another thing that may seem strange is that I ask a lot of questions as I retell the story. These questions can seem redundant, ridiculously easy, or pointless. But they have a purpose. The mini-stories are structured to help you more deeply remember the new vocabulary. I use silly or exaggerated stories because they are easier to visualize; and visualization aids memory. I use short and fairly simple stories because they are also easier to remember and picture. They are also easier for the learner to repeat and retell. The questions, likewise, have a purpose. First, the questions provide more repetition of the target vocabulary. Repetition is important.