377 - Heated Rivalry Episode 3-Love, Boundaries, and the Most Unhinged Uber Ride Story You've Ever Heard

Summary

You Are Not Broken - Episode 377

Heated Rivalry Episode 3: Love, Boundaries, and the Most Unhinged Uber Ride Story You’ve Ever Heard

Host: Dr. Kelly Casperson, MD
Guests: Ashley, Rachel Reid, (later joined by Dr. Josh Gonzalez)
Release Date: June 28, 2026

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Episode Overview

This lively roundtable episode continues the "Heated Rivalry" miniseries, where Dr. Casperson and co-hosts break down episode 3 of the hit TV show, blending analysis of on-screen love, discussions of boundaries and desire, and some personal stories. The tone is candid and humorous, with the doctors offering both lighthearted banter and thoughtful commentary—especially as they dive into queer representation, fast-burning relationships, and why Scott Hunter’s banana socks matter. The episode closes with Rachel’s hilarious true-life encounter with a porn star Uber driver.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Quick Catch-Up and Defining "Reheat"

• The hosts joke about life interruptions between episodes and introduce the term “reheat”—meaning to rewatch "Heated Rivalry" episodes, likening it to a generational hot flash.
  • [02:03] Dr. Kelly: “We should define for the people what a reheat is.”
  • [02:07] Rachel: “I was deeply, deeply excited to reheat.”

2. Episode 3 Breakdown: The Kip and Scott Hunter Relationship

• The group unpacks mixed feelings about Kip and Scott’s love story, noting its “cookie cutter” romance but also its importance as a mature, openly queer relationship set against the closeted world of pro hockey.
• Rachel critiques the relationship’s pacing and Hollywood tropes, while Kelly defends love-at-first-sight, drawing parallels to real life.
  • [04:41] Dr. Kelly: “It is showing us the mature relationship within a world of hockey where he can’t be himself.”
  • [05:03] Rachel: “It comes off very trite... too forced.”
  • [06:23] Kelly/Ashley: Share real-life "I just knew" stories about meeting their future husbands.

3. Boundaries, Drama & Healthy Love

• Kip is lauded for exemplifying healthy boundaries—not just falling into codependency, but maintaining self-respect within the relationship.
• The hosts contrast this dynamic with the more “Hollywood” plot contrivances, like coincidental meetings and dramatic time jumps.
  • [29:04] Dr. Kelly: “Kip also loves himself. Not in a narcissistic way, in a very grounded, adult way... That ultimately is why he can say, I need to leave.”

4. Representation Beyond Sex Scenes

• Deep praise emerges for the show's authentic depiction of queer love—passionate, domestic, and multidimensional.
  • [25:25] Ashley: “Even though my whole life revolves around doing sexual medicine, when I see sex scenes in TV and movies, I hate them... And these scenes, they actually give me feelings, like that physical rush.”
  • [39:06] Josh: “I love their interaction... You don’t often see this juxtaposition of horniness and romance.”

5. The Question of Kip’s Dad (and the Power of Uplifting Dads)

• Endless debate about whether Kip’s dad is gay, reflecting on the rarity—and longing—for emotionally literate, supportive father figures on TV.
  • [31:59] Josh: “He does seem to be not even just understanding, but, like, radically accepting of his son. I attribute a lot of those things to being more gay than straight because of how they’re often represented in popular media.”

6. Humor, Urology, and Culture

• The doctors riff on banana socks (“pea socking”), “starfishing” during sex, and the Enneagram personality test.
• Notable segues into vasectomy endorsements and insider info from the books (with much chiding for not reading them all).

7. The “Unhinged Uber Ride” Story

• Not to be missed! Rachel recounts her surreal Uber ride with a porn star driver, sparking a discussion about sex-positivity, life’s randomness, and how these conversations echo her daily work with patients—an unexpected but fitting full-circle moment for the sex & relationships podcast.
  • [40:15] Rachel: “He was so excited to tell me that he has been working in the porn industry for like 20 years... I was like, my life is amazing. I love the stories of my life.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

On the nature and pacing of fictional love:

• “[He] gets too intense too quickly. He’s too in love too quickly. And I think they needed a bit more buildup...” — Rachel Reid [05:03]
• “Is it not plausible that an older person might just know what he wants?” — Dr. Kelly [05:24]

Real-life meets TV trope:

• “If I didn’t like him as much as I did, I would have thought that was super creepy and weird. And then he flew back up and we went on another date...” — Ashley [08:32]

On healthy boundaries:

• “There are truly...that ultimately is why he can say, I need to leave, but he doesn’t say, 'I’m breaking up with you.'” — Dr. Kelly [29:04]
• “It’s boundaries and space. Like...there’s that honeymoon period where you want to be together all the time. But to be fair, Scott Hunter gets to go out with his hockey dudes. Half the time he’s traveling...” — Rachel [29:04]

About representation and authenticity:

• “It’s the longing, it’s the energy, it’s the chemistry, it’s the hotness...It doesn’t matter who has what genitals...It just works.” — Rachel [16:32]
• “You don’t often see this juxtaposition of, like, horniness and romance.” — Dr. Josh Gonzalez [39:06]

On Kip’s dad and representation of affirming fatherhood:

• “He does seem to be not just understanding, but like, radically accepting of his son...he wouldn’t be so. Yeah.” — Josh [31:59]
• “Don’t you think everybody wants, like, a dad relationship like that?” — Rachel [32:44]

Moments of levity and inside jokes:

• “Rachel also taught me what starfishing is or being a starfish. I didn’t know what that was.” — Dr. Kelly [19:33]
• “Male urologists do a lot of pea socking.” — Rachel [34:21]
• “I would say it’s that group and then old eccentric gay men that pea sock. Like, young, hip gay guys—they’re not usually pea socking.” — Josh [34:31]

The Uber ride story:

• “And then he, like, lit up like a Christmas tree. He was so excited to tell me that he has been working in the porn industry for like 20 years...” — Rachel [40:15]

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Important Timestamps

• 01:29 - Introduction, missing co-host, and what “reheat” means
• 03:13 - Moving into Episode 3’s major relationship: first impressions
• 06:23 - Real-life experiences with “love at first sight” in contrast to TV tropes
• 10:29 - The art gallery panic attack—TV drama or valid representation?
• 15:03 - Foreshadowing and recurring themes (“you are my sunshine”)
• 17:38 - Layered storytelling: hockey + gay sex + 90s nostalgia
• 20:42 - The Enneagram debates: what types are these characters?
• 24:06 - Body image, fitness, and realism of the characters
• 29:04 - Critique and praise for handling of boundaries
• 31:39 - Heated debate: Is Kip’s dad gay?
• 34:21 - “Pea socking” explained (w/ jokes about urologist fashion)
• 39:06 - Josh on why he loves the Kip/Scott Hunter dynamic best
• 40:08–41:56 - Rachel’s epic Uber story with a porn star driver

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Episode Takeaways

• Heated Rivalry’s queer relationships invite both critique and admiration for breaking out of typical on-screen love representations, balancing romantic tropes with honest emotional stakes.
• The power of healthy boundaries in love—a lesson for viewers and, sometimes, the characters themselves.
• Celebrating the side characters (“the bread guy,” “the dad,” “the banana socks”) and how the supporting cast enlivens a “Hollywood” love narrative.
• Authentic, positive queer representation deeply matters—for those watching and for lives beyond the screen (like the hockey player who re-embraced his sport after watching).
• Real-life stories—from meet-cutes to unexpected Uber rides—highlight the messiness and joy of love, sex, and self-acceptance.

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Memorable Moments & Humor

• “Starfishing” and “pea socking” become running jokes.
• In-depth theorizing about character sexuality—especially when it comes to dads and hockey players.
• The group’s banter about their own marriages, gym habits, and book/TV loyalties brings the conversation to life for listeners.

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If you love "Heated Rivalry," midlife sexuality, or just want to hear smart, funny doctors dismantle pop culture, this episode has a bit of everything—serious insights, critical fandom, and one absolutely unforgettable Uber ride tale.

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For more about Dr. Kelly Casperson, courses, books, and The Casperson Clinic, visit kellycaspersonmd.com.

Transcript

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

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[Josh Gonzalez]

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[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

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[Rachel Reid]

Yikes.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

You could hire the guy your neighbor recommended, but I'm pretty sure that's just his cousin. Do we know if he's licensed or does he just own a ladder? Listen to your home go with Thumbtack. Upload a photo or voice note and

[Josh Gonzalez]

we'll diagnose your project and match you

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

with the right pro for the job. Thumbtack we Know homes hire the right pro today. Welcome to youo Are Not Broken, the podcast that challenges everything we've been taught about midlife hormones and sexuality. I'm Dr. Kelly Casperson, board certified urologist, author and a leading voice in women's sexual and hormone health. Enjoy the show. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the youe're Not Broken podcast. This is the three of six Heated Rivalry. If you know, you know. We're so happy you're here, but we're missing. We're missing a quarter of our staff today, you guys.

[Ashley]

I know.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Los Santos. Dr. Josh Gonzalez is not with us today. He is running a business meeting and maybe we'll be joining us for the fourth episode. We'll see. I know. Sorry to anybody who's been following along because of solo mente senior Josh Gonzalez. To all the podcast listeners. They were listening last week to episode two and now it's episode three. But actually a lot has gone. We've like missed an entire month and we've got to catch back into Heated Rivalry.

[Ashley]

I know, I know. I was actually just thinking when I was rewatching it for this episode, I'm like, oh, I haven't, I haven't connected with my HR for a little while. You know, like, it's been a while.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

We should, we should define for the people what a reheat is.

[Rachel Reid]

I was deeply, deeply excited to reheat. It has been a while and it was lovely.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

It's so. So a reheat basically means for. For Heated Rivalry fans that you're gonna go back and re watch. So statistically speaking, most people who've watched Heated Rivalry have reheated like it's a. It's something you watch Mult times.

[Rachel Reid]

Maybe that's a hot flash.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Like a reheat is a hot flash for people who might be like that.

[Rachel Reid]

Yeah, like a. Like something to do with hot flashes. There's a joke to be made about hot flashes.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I think heater rivalry is very regulating to your nervous system.

[Rachel Reid]

I do feel it calms me.

[Ashley]

I feel like it disregulates it. I feel like I. I mean, we're gonna get to the. The fourth episode. But the fourth episode, I remember the first time I watched it, I, like couldn't sleep. I was like so amped up after it. And I feel like the fourth episode

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

is fast paced in stark contrast to episode three.

[Rachel Reid]

It's like all montages. Wait, are we sticking to three?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

We'll stick with three. But I timed the montage so we will go.

[Rachel Reid]

It's like just never ending montages.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah.

[Rachel Reid]

And I'm not mad about it at all.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

A little bit dysregulated. Okay. Episode three, in which we meet Kip. We already know Scott Hunter. In which we meet Kip and Scott Hunter. Very polarizing episode.

[Ashley]

Well, I was going to say, I mean, Rachel had expressed that she's not as interested in this relationship. So, I mean, obviously that's an understatement.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Ashley,

[Ashley]

like, tell me,

[Rachel Reid]

girl.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Girl.

[Rachel Reid]

You know what? I actually will say, I think there are. There are nuggets to gain from episode three and a lot of beautiful moments and very cool imagery. I love the banana socks. As a urologist, I just must say I love the banana soc. I love the innuendo there. All about the banana socks. I think it's great. You know, I think to me though, the main characters are yawn, boring and sort of just. I don't like them very much. I'm going to say it. It just. It doesn't do it. It's too cookie cutter like. But that's why they know that's the point. I know it's the point. But the other characters make it gorgeous. Right? Like all the friends. I'm going to say Kyle's my favorite character. Like, he says almost no words and yet they say, thank you, Kyle. Thank you, Kyle. Like they. Kyle, who runs the bar all the time. Love Kyle. Love the dad. Love the. The woman who works at the. At the smoothie place. And then his best friend. Like the dad. Like, those are all fantastic characters that are supporting what I find to be slightly mundane. I don't know. The story is a little too Hollywood for me.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I think. Yeah. To me, I'm like, it's there for a reason. It is showing us the mature relationship within a world of hockey where he can't be himself. Like, Hunter is brutally honest within that relationship, but completely dishonest with his public Persona and who he actually is. And I think that juxtaposition is there for a reason.

[Rachel Reid]

I think it's there to make a point. I think it comes off very trite. Like, it's too. It's too. Like, it's too forced. They get too intense too quickly. He's too in love too quickly. And I think they needed a little bit more buildup into why he is so into this smoothie guy.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I looked at when my husband came over on our first date.

[Ashley]

I was like, he's the one.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

But I'm just saying, like, is it. Is it not plausible that an older person might just know what he wants?

[Rachel Reid]

He definitely knows about Ilya and Shane, though. You're right. That he finally. Cause he said you're starting to talk like him.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yes.

[Rachel Reid]

Yeah. Which is totally.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

We talked about this in the other episode. I'm like, do we think he knows? And it's like, yet again, he's like. He's that older wise guy who knows.

[Rachel Reid]

Do you think he knows who all the gay hockey players are?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yes.

[Rachel Reid]

Do you think he and Hayden had something special?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Do you think Hayden's gay?

[Rachel Reid]

No. I'm just asking.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I think him and Hayden have probably never said a word to each other ever.

[Rachel Reid]

It's probably right.

[Ashley]

So a few things, I think. I still think he maybe doesn't know. I thought it was too trite and the love was too fast. But then I thought about it, and I agree with Kelly. Like, when I met my husband, I kind of knew right away that he, like, I was gonna get married to him. Like, I just knew.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

You saw your husband. Let's. Let's. I think this is public.

[Rachel Reid]

It's a good story. It's a good story.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

It's such a good story. You saw your husband. He was on stage. The first time you saw his eyeballs. He was performing on stage.

[Ashley]

Yes. Yes. I was roped in inadvertently to go

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

to a conference in Portland, Oregon.

[Ashley]

Basically, I had moved there, and one of the general surgery residents from New York City was also doing a fellowship there, and he somehow. This is so unnecessary details, but he was very Italian and somehow became really good friends with all of the Italians in Portland. Like, the really Italian Italians. And they were all friends with this woman who was friends with the publicist, the Biggest publicist in Portland. I don't know, somehow. And so anyway, that was how I got invited.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

You realize your children are.

[Ashley]

Because of this.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

This improbable scene.

[Rachel Reid]

It's wild.

[Ashley]

Yes. And the guy, you know, Dave's Killer Bread, like, that really? That guy was there that night with, like, this whole cadre.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Could have been married. Killer bread, like, that's. That's a profitable relationship.

[Ashley]

Yeah, I know. And he looks exactly like that guy on the bag. But, yeah. And I was like, that's the bread

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

guy you knew by looking at. I have not looked at the wrapping. No.

[Ashley]

He was like. People were like, that's the bread guy. And I was like, holy shit, that's the bread guy. And he was like. Had this whole cadre of babes with him. But anyway, so. So all. Somehow, all the Italians in Portland and, like, they would all speak in Italian and I would hang out with them, and then they were friends. I don't know, somehow. I also, like, met the governor of Oregon, like, in that same weekend. It was very weird.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

There was a portal. There was a portal that was open over Portland that weekend. Totally.

[Ashley]

But, yeah, so. So I end up at the show, and my husband was doing stranger at the time. My now husband was doing standup, and I was like, that guy's hot and funny. And the girl I went to the show with came barreling up to him afterwards and was like, my friend wants, like, thinks you're hot. And then I was like, hey, hey, man. And then we went and got a drink, and, like, you could have stayed

[Rachel Reid]

home in pajamas that night, 98% of

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

the time, you would have been at home in pajamas.

[Rachel Reid]

Absolutely.

[Ashley]

Like, I hate things like this. Yeah. And then, you know, the funny thing is, I think about all this intensity. And so we spent the weekend together, and he lived down in la, and at the end of the weekend, he said to me, can I fly back here and go on another date with you? And if I didn't like him as much as I did, I would have thought that was super creepy and weird. And then he flew back up and we went on another date. And then at the end of that date, he was like, can I be your boyfriend? And, yeah. And I just. The whole time, I just knew. So, again, I think of the Scott Hunter thing as super trite. But then I realized that in depictions of love in movies and TV and everything, it has to be harder than this, because then there's. Otherwise, there's no point plot. And. And it's okay in this context for it To. So they don't show.

[Rachel Reid]

I'll take it back. I. I accept.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

So did. Did your husband say, can I be too intense right now? Just like Scott Hunter said, can I be too intense?

[Ashley]

I probably didn't say that exact thing,

[Rachel Reid]

but I feel like Mo would do that. I feel like Mo might be the Scott Hunter of the relationship.

[Ashley]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

He's.

[Ashley]

Yeah, he is for sure.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I. So I was. I was reheating, and I'm watching episode three, and they. They decide not to go to the restaurant for Mexican food or whatever, and they go back to his house, and all of a sudden, Scott's clothing is off in the living room. And I'm like, that did happen very quickly.

[Ashley]

Oh, yes. I was thinking, actually, that's like, he

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

was in a tux. Maybe he was trying to get more casual. But so I'm like. Like. Right. But I'm like, you got naked very fast.

[Rachel Reid]

Do you remember the show, how I met your mother? In the episode, Naked Guy was like this. It was like a whole. I don't watch television. I know. I know. You didn't even. We're not even gonna watch three episodes into Heated R. Anyway. It's a funny episode of how, like, if you just get naked on the middle of a date and, like, it was like, three out of four times, like, it'll work in your favor, and then it, like, goes through.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

You're shocked.

[Rachel Reid]

You just, like. He just, like, shot his shot.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah, totally.

[Rachel Reid]

I mean, it was clear what they were going back to do.

[Ashley]

No, of course. It is interesting to me, though, that Scott Hunter was going to be okay. Going to.

[Rachel Reid]

I don't think he was. He knew it wasn't going to happen.

[Ashley]

Yeah, I was gonna say. I mean, then later on, they go to the art gallery, freaks out, and he can't do it. And I'm like, well, how are they gonna. How are they gonna have, like.

[Rachel Reid]

I think that seems over the top. Like, that scene is, like, his. I don't know. It's not my favorite scene. I'm not gonna lie. It's not my favorite.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

The panic attack in the art gallery. That's not. Yeah, that's not your favorite.

[Rachel Reid]

Some of you. I just like it. It feels too. It feels too obvious. Like, the glasses and the hat and the, like.

[Ashley]

I don't know.

[Rachel Reid]

Does he really want to buy art? He doesn't want to go to an art museum. He doesn't even care about art.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

He wants to spend time with the. Kip. Where's Kip's mom? His dad has a wedding ring on.

[Rachel Reid]

Do you think his dad's gay or straight? That's my question.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I think gay.

[Ashley]

Definitely gay.

[Rachel Reid]

I think you think the dad's gay. Yeah, but you never find out. You never, like, hear about it.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Ashley, as our sole. As our sole person who's read the books, any insight?

[Ashley]

Oh, I didn't read the. I stopped reading after the first. The equivalent of the first two episodes, so.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Really?

[Rachel Reid]

Why?

[Ashley]

Because I was just doing it for the podcast to be more. And then I got busy because I thought the show was better.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Fair. Oh, man. You were giving us the insider info. Okay. No, I haven't read the books yet either, Rachel.

[Rachel Reid]

Have you?

[Ashley]

I know, I know.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Maybe I'll read the book.

[Rachel Reid]

I haven't. You're the reader.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I know.

[Rachel Reid]

I'm the book reader of the group.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Fair.

[Ashley]

I feel like my hypothesis is Kip's dad is gay because he comes off as very gay, and that is. Wife, like, probably left him when he came out. And then he's still wearing the ring. He's.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

He has a ring on his hand.

[Rachel Reid]

He's so sweet. He's such a good dad.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

We're going to need to put a pin. Ask Josh if he thinks Kip's dad is gay. Um, I think Kip's dad is an enneagram.

[Rachel Reid]

9.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I thought I was going to say 2, but I think 9 because he's a peacekeeper, and he's like. Even though Kip didn't. Like, Kip didn't go all of a sudden, didn't come home without explanation for how many months?

[Rachel Reid]

Hard to tell, those months or weeks.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Well, when he's sitting in the bar with Elena, Elena says, how long has this been going on? And he says, two months. So point being, he's been missing without explanation after. Like, clearly, they're very bonded. Right. And then he goes missing without explanation, and then he comes back and he's like, doesn't matter. Love you.

[Rachel Reid]

But, like, why can't he go home for dinner one night? Like, I don't understand why it's like, this all immersive thing, like.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

And why can't he tell his dad.

[Rachel Reid]

Yeah. Who's his dad. Who's.

[Ashley]

His dad's not gonna tell. His dad's not gonna tell anyone.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Especially if his dad's gay.

[Ashley]

I know.

[Rachel Reid]

I think the point of the relationship is drama. It's, like, a very dramatic storyline. So everything feels dramatic, right? Elena dancing with Scott Hunter. Scott Hunter's parents dying when he's 12. Like, it's just all very Dramatic.

[Ashley]

No, like you were saying. I mean, that I find odd that like, he's. Why does that happen? Why are they there? And also, what is the chances that of Manhattan, he's like cater waiter at like that other black tie event that Scott Hunter's at? Like, that's ridiculous. That is ridiculous. The ease of their love is not ridiculous to me, but that is ridiculous.

[Rachel Reid]

I mean, the thing is like. I mean, I think the whole point is that their story is like a Hollywood love story with the big ending, you know, and all of that. And then Shane and Ilia have to be like this secret. Like, end it, you know, it's more secret.

[Ashley]

I love it.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

In the famous words of When Harry Met Sally, in a city of 8 million people, you're bound to run into your ex.

[Ashley]

That's just.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

That's just how New York happens, I guess.

[Ashley]

I know. I. I mean, as somebody who lived in Manhattan for six years and dated a lot of people, I. I don't think I would like. I don't think any of these things are plausible. I just don't think so. I just don't.

[Rachel Reid]

Why was Elena going to a banquet for. Was the banquet for the school or for the admirals?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

For the St. Thomas? St. Thomas Scholarship.

[Rachel Reid]

So. For the school. So. So what's Elena's connection? Why was she there?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Elena has a well paid job. I think she's a lawyer because she makes the comment that these seats, when they go to hockey, these seats are better than my company's seats.

[Rachel Reid]

Again, why is she at the fundraiser, though? What does she care about St. Thomas, the fundraiser?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Probably her law firm donates money. Do you like how I'm, like, filling in the gaps, too?

[Ashley]

I appreciate the gaps, but this is. I should have read the book for this part because you're right.

[Rachel Reid]

But then there is foreshadowing, because she says he wants sunshine, right? And then when they have the big. The big ending, right? The song of you're my Sunshine, Right?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

So what Jacob Tierney says in a side interview, had he not gotten the rights to that song, he was gonna have to rewrite the script that had already been written, because that was leading up to the song, which is a good song, which is a very good song. For anybody who's seen heated rivalry and hasn't reheated it, there's so much depth in it. It is a gift that keeps on giving.

[Ashley]

I will say my gut coming out of all of these things is that I identify that there's such intense and true artistry in the acting and the Directing and the producing. Because I am the sort of person that even though my whole life revolves around doing sexual medicine, when I see sex scenes in TV and movies, I hate them. And I think they're boring. And I fast forward through them and these scenes, these loving scenes and the sex scenes and the skyhunter being intense scene, they actually give me feelings like that physical rush, that new relationship energy. These are the things that make people, I don't know, go back and make Jane Austen remakes 800,000 times, right? And people obsess over that and make movies about people making movies about Jane Austen books. And like, that is actually so incredibly hard to achieve. And so even though we're like picking it apart right now, when I was. And it was. I was repeating it, I had already seen it, it wasn't even new. And I still felt those spectacular.

[Rachel Reid]

And that's incredible spectacular that they. It's the longing, it's the energy, it's the chemistry, it's the like hotness. It's like. It is like the emotion that goes in with the longing. The like wanting something so bad that you need it right now, not being able to get it. It's like so incredible, like how much. And it doesn't matter who has what genitals or what. Like, it just works like it. I think it works.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah, I agree. I was thinking about this today. I was thinking about, oh, the rap musical Hamilton. And one of the reasons that Hamilton was so big. I've still yet to see it.

[Rachel Reid]

It's fabulous. It's on Disney. You could watch it right now on Disney. It's amazing.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I don't watch television. Here I am, six episodes of Heat Arrival. I don't watch television. But anyways, one of the power moves they said is that it combined rap with history, right? It's like combining these two things that just. You never put together. And I'm like, Heat Arrival. We put hockey and gay sex together and a bunch of 90s music, right? Like this stew that you can't replicate and nobody's done it before. And it's so beautiful when you take these crazy different things and put them

[Rachel Reid]

all together and then put all the human, like the things that humans crave and want and need and feel. Like all of that together with that is like the magic. Like the acting is so spectacular. Like how much is said through text message? How much is said through facial expression? Yeah, facial expression. I mean, it's unbelievable. Yeah.

[Ashley]

And as you're saying about subtle things that they show, right?

[Rachel Reid]

With.

[Ashley]

With the Scott and Kip scenes when he's coming into the smoothie place and they show his hand next to his phone on the counter, and they, like, zoom in. And then the two hands on the counter, you don't really think about it until you go back and think about it, and then you're like, oh, even this was so intentional. Just showing their hands on the countertop and the language of anticipation with that.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Totally. How much does Hunter tip Kip in the smoothie place?

[Rachel Reid]

Twenty bucks.

[Ashley]

A hundred bucks?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I think it has to be closer to 100.

[Rachel Reid]

How much weight? Well, then how much does Shane tip the bartender in episode four?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Oh, when he puts the money on the table and he says, take it back.

[Rachel Reid]

Yeah. He's like, then you take it.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I thought it was. I thought it was just gonna be, like, a 20 because, like, he was gonna pay for a beer, and that was gonna be, like, the beer money. So it wouldn't have been something probably too crazy, but who knows? He's. So if it could have been a hundy.

[Rachel Reid]

Is that he trying to pay for sex or.

[Ashley]

I don't know.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I think that was him just saying, I acknowledge your beauty.

[Ashley]

Is that a thing?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Is that a reason to tip? Yeah.

[Ashley]

I don't know. It was flirting or something. It was like that.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

It was a power move. It was a dominance. It was a dominance power move.

[Ashley]

He's peacocking.

[Rachel Reid]

He's peacocking.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I am here. I'm here for you to pay attention to.

[Rachel Reid]

You know what pee socking is? He's pee socking at the end. Pea socking is when the guys wear fancy socks. They call it PE Socking. Like, they wear their boring suits and they wear, like, the banana socks is PE Socking.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Where do you learn this?

[Rachel Reid]

I just, you know, you hear things. You hear things.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Rachel also taught me what starfishing is or being a starfish. I didn't know what. I didn't know what that was.

[Rachel Reid]

Just lying there. You just lie there during sex, right? Like a starfish.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Oh.

[Ashley]

Oh, right. Yeah. Did you tell me about this?

[Rachel Reid]

I mean, it's just.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Which is never what's happening. Never what's happening? In heated rivalry, nobody zero starfish. Except for maybe Hayden.

[Rachel Reid]

Oh, Hayden. Probably starfishes. Oh, can we talk about the vasectomy discussions in this episode?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Wait, wait, we can. Do they talk about in episode three?

[Rachel Reid]

Isn't that the Hayden episode? Or is that episode four? Oh, no, four is Hayden. Sorry. That's four.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

We'll get there, though. We'll take notes, please. See, I'm gonna put that into. Yeah, no, they do talk about it. Plug for vasectomy.

[Rachel Reid]

We love vasectomies.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

We love vasectomies. We're all urologists. Okay, so Shane makes a comment. They're on the ice. Scott Hunter's in Montreal. Shane makes a comment. Hope next time you choose to show up because he doesn't do well at away games. Hunter calls him on it and he says, you sound like him. And he says, you fucking heard me, Hollander. And then they have a fight. And the fight's unusual because the game's already ended, and usually you aren't fighting after the game's ended.

[Rachel Reid]

And Hollander is not a fighter.

[Ashley]

Yeah, he's a type 9 or something. What is he? What is his type? I don't know this stuff, you guys.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I'm sure the Internet can tell us. I haven't looked.

[Ashley]

He's a one.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I haven't looked up. He might be a five because he's very analyzed. He's very into stats. I think this is four. He's talking to his dad about somebody's hand movements and how well he's playing.

[Ashley]

And, like, he's.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

And his mom and him are into stats, and they're all into stats. He might be a five, and he needs data, and feelings freak him out. Like, feelings are not.

[Rachel Reid]

It's saying he's a one. The Internet says he's a one because he's very, like, a perfectionist type of person.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Ask if he's a five, though.

[Rachel Reid]

The Internet will tell us whatever we want.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah, yeah. If you ask Chat, Chat will just agree to whatever we say.

[Ashley]

Is this Reddit?

[Rachel Reid]

No, no, no. It's AI, so it must be correct 40% of the time.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Before we move off of Enneagrams, I think Elena is an 8 because she's very protective.

[Rachel Reid]

It says Ilya is an 8, so you've got that in common with Ilya. Yeah. Very dominant. Very dominant.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

He knows what he wants. Ilia is always who Ilia is. There's no covering it up, ever. Or trying to fit in. Like, Ilia is always Ilia, and that is very eight. Ashley's new to the Enneagram.

[Rachel Reid]

For anyone listening, this is the Enneagram test. And you can take a free test online, and then you can obsess over it with your. My algorithm is all. It used to be sexual medicine. Now it's just Enneagrams. And he did. Rivalry is my whole algorithm now.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I love it.

[Rachel Reid]

I'm not mad about it.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Comedy.

[Rachel Reid]

A little bit.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Did I introduce you to the Enneagram.

[Rachel Reid]

Rachel, it might have been you. It's probably you.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I was thinking about that.

[Rachel Reid]

I'll give you credit.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

It might have been me. Okay, I'm gonna take some credit for that.

[Ashley]

So what enneagram type is most likely to. Starfish.

[Josh Gonzalez]

Ooh. Oh.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Underdeveloped, too. Meaning, Like, I'm here just to please. I'm just. I'm here just to please you. It doesn't matter what I want.

[Ashley]

I'm not gonna lie. I'm pretty sad that I'm not, like, having a bachelorette party since this came out. And there could have been, like, a whole heated rivalry, like, theme for that.

[Rachel Reid]

I finally got my best girlfriend to watch it. They were resist. They were more resistant than the two of you and more than me.

[Ashley]

Yeah, I can't get anyone to watch it. I can't get anyone to, like, anyone who hasn't watched.

[Rachel Reid]

People know they should exercise, but don't. It's like that. Like, they, they can't. People like to suffer, and they're choosing to suffer.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

And then Rachel goes around and says, why are you choosing to suffer?

[Rachel Reid]

Why are you choosing to suffer? I actually have people in my office who won't watch it because they're afraid they won't like it, and they're afraid of being dis. Like, they're afraid of finding.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I think some people are afraid that they're gonna like gay sex. And I'm like, dude, I'm completely turned on by these people. Like, these people are all hot human. Hot human bodies are hot human bodies.

[Ashley]

Oh, yeah. I mean, my husband makes a joke that he's not comfortable enough with his

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

sexuality to watch it, which is funny.

[Ashley]

Yeah. I mean, I, I, I love it. I love that idea. I love the honesty of it too. Probably why the least watch demographic is.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I think the other interesting thing about the whole Kip situation is, like, you know, here most of the straight women are like, are you Shane or Ilya? Are you Shane or Ilya? Like, who's your person? And a lot of gay men are like, Kip.

[Rachel Reid]

We'd have to have Josh on for that one.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I know, but, like, he's attractive. The other thing I really like is their type. He's, like, jacked.

[Ashley]

I mean, they're all jacked.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

They're all differently jacked, though.

[Ashley]

To me, Kip doesn't have enough body fat. Sorry. I just, like, it's like, almost not like.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

But Scott.

[Rachel Reid]

Scott Hunter. He's very true.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Hunter's very.

[Ashley]

Scott's too lean also. I agree.

[Rachel Reid]

So Scott Hunter is always running, like that's his exercise. And yet we see Shane and Ilya doing a lot of sort of different exercises, including rowing and a lot of running, but also a lot of weightlifting as well. I wonder why do we never see Kip? Like, how does Kip get that body? Like, he's certainly not getting it from the smoothie shop. And the amount of exercise they do. Again, they're professional sports players, so I get it. But it's a lot of.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I would argue that it was not the highest budget TV production.

[Rachel Reid]

It's fair.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

This is a paid message from GoFundMe. Meet Juan Naula. When his son was hospitalized for a

[Ashley]

viral infection, Juan started a GoFundMe to

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

pay for medical expenses.

[Josh Gonzalez]

It was 5k to pay the bill for my son and I need only 22 hours. It was amazing. People really trust on GoFundMe.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

How did Juan raise $5,000 in less than a day? He posted a short video on GoFundMe

[Ashley]

telling his story in 30 seconds.

[Josh Gonzalez]

30 seconds.

[Ashley]

Be specific.

[Josh Gonzalez]

Be quick and tell what are you gonna be using the funds for? I was nervous to do it because

[Ashley]

it doesn't feel okay to ask money.

[Josh Gonzalez]

But you shouldn't be nervous. Sometimes you just have to do it and see the results. We were able to save my son's life thanks to gofundme that we still have my son with us.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Start your GoFundMe today at gofundme.com that's gofundme.com gofundme.com this message reflects one person's experience. And since we last podcast.

[Ashley]

What do you mean by that?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I'm just saying like, well, so. So the actor who plays God Hunter, Jacques, he actually does Francois. Francois. Thank you. So there was an interview with him because they're. Because he does this like he's a kind of flailing when he's running.

[Rachel Reid]

Right.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

And he basically says they took that in one take and then they cut it up for like all the different running things because. Because it is a low budget Canadian government sponsored television. Which I wonder, speaking of like how artistic and how human story focused it was, do you think a big budget Hollywood production would have fucked it up?

[Ashley]

Oh, I always think about things like that. Like, you know, there's a magic to something the first time around and once it gets bigger than itself.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

So are we worried about season two?

[Ashley]

You know, a lot of the.

[Rachel Reid]

For sure it's going to be terrible. But we're still going to watch it.

[Ashley]

Yeah. I mean this is the problem right Euphoria's back on now since all these people became like, some of them were already famous, but some of them weren't. And now it's like bigger than itself and people like, it's. The nature of it has just changed.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

So, yeah, like, heaven forbid, season two gets three million more dollars. I'm fuck it up. So this is the other thing I like about Kip.

[Ashley]

I agree. He's not like a. Why would he be so hot? And he's not like a full time sports player, but he's like, he's a gay man in New York and they're like, he's like in like a gay man in New York. They would be hot. Like they.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah, otherwise you can't compete stuff.

[Rachel Reid]

I'm just saying.

[Ashley]

But like, he's spending two months just

[Rachel Reid]

living in Scott Hunter's apartment and working in a smoothie place.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Like that apartment has a jack gym.

[Rachel Reid]

Also, aren't they worried about being seen coming in and out of Scott Hunter's apartment?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Good point.

[Ashley]

Yes.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Maybe there's only six units in that apartment and they're all. They all winter in Florida or something.

[Ashley]

Maybe he just gifts him an Equinox membership and then he goes to like the local.

[Rachel Reid]

It's a nice gift.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I would want to work out together. And that you wouldn't be able to because he's not out would bum me out.

[Ashley]

Do you work out with your house?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

No, he doesn't want to work out with me. I tried to get him to work out with me in residency, so that's 15 years ago. And it was a massive fail. He's not interested.

[Ashley]

Rachel, do you work out with your husband?

[Rachel Reid]

No. Every once in a while. Every once in a while. We went on a walk today. Does that count? That's sort of count.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

We go on walks or we'll go on a hike.

[Ashley]

Oh, that's so cute of you. It's adorable.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Ashley, do you work out with your husband?

[Ashley]

On occasion? Yeah, we go to the YMCA together and like work out across from like the 85 year olds in jeans.

[Rachel Reid]

Like, is RFK, is our RK.

[Ashley]

I know, it's seriously like the vibes of. There are some vibes like that in our local ymca. But no, it's great. I'm like scared of lifting weights and he like encourages me and.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Why are you scared of lifting weights?

[Ashley]

Do it if you didn't. I don't know, because I don't know how to do anything. I mean, I probably need like a personal trainer, but I don't have never gotten one.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

So you lift 35 pounds. You lift 35 pound babies every day. You're very strong.

[Ashley]

I know. But, yeah, I do work out with him. I do. It's great.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

That's adorable. Okay, one more thing about Kip, about this show, about episode three. So he loves Scott Hunter, but he also. Kip also loves himself. Not in a narcissistic way, in a very grounded, adult way. And there are truly. And that ultimately is why he can say, I need to leave, but he

[Rachel Reid]

doesn't say, I'm breaking up with you. It's the same scene as they're saying, I love you. Right. And I don't think it's like a breakup. It's a conversation. But I want to go see my dad again. It's dramatic. Like, why can't you just say I need to? Like, this is boundaries and space. Like, I think there's a time as a couple when you, like, need to see your friends and need to go out with your friends and need, like, some alone time and need some white space. Like, yes, there's that honeymoon period where you want to be together all the time. But to be fair, like, Scott Hunter gets to go out with his hockey dudes. Like, half the time he's traveling. Right.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

So you're saying Kip was a kept man because he couldn't hang out with his friends.

[Rachel Reid]

But how could that be true? Like, Scott Hunter was traveling half of that time. So I'm going to say it's the math ain't mathing with that whole story.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Apparently. Ashley, did you tell us this? Apparently in the book? Who told us this if Ashley didn't read the book? Apparently in the book, the Kip Scott Hunter story is a lot longer time wise to lead up to, like, why they're. Spoiler alert. Episode 5.

[Rachel Reid]

I'm Very Nervous because I really want Rachel Reid to come to I Swish and give a talk. What if she hears this? What do we need and we say anything bad about her and not saying bad about her? She's amazing. Everything you do is amazing. Rachel Reid.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

No, that's what I'm saying. What do we need?

[Ashley]

Manifest. Oh, yeah, the book is amazing. I just.

[Rachel Reid]

I want her to come to Ishmael.

[Ashley]

I should also say she should come to Ishwish.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

We're doing six episodes on Heated rivalry because of her.

[Ashley]

I should also say that when I said I didn't enjoy the book as much as the show in part. Well, the main reason is the person who narrates it on Spotify. Like, it's a sub optimal.

[Rachel Reid]

The voice can make or break or break 100%.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

It's very stressful.

[Ashley]

It's so wretched.

[Rachel Reid]

I don't think if I ever write a book, I cannot do the. I can't. You have to do the audio, and I feel like I can't do the audio.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

You have to do the.

[Rachel Reid]

I'm not good at reading people.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

People know your voice.

[Rachel Reid]

I know, but I'm just terrible at reading.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

So. There is something on social media that there is a hockey player who never came out. You guys see this? This is like, since. Since we last chatted, this has gone on the Internet. So as hockey player, he never came out. He ended up quitting hockey because he's like, I can't live in this and be closeted and blah, blah, blah. Doesn't play hockey for 20 years. Heat of rivalry comes out and he's like, oh. And so then he basically says, like, this, the heater rivalry is amazing, and this is my story. And he ends up, like, reconciling with, like, his former teammates and, like, now is, like, helping promote being open in sport. And, like, heater rivalry, like, helped this guy reconcile his sport passion that he, like, walked away from.

[Rachel Reid]

It's a beautiful story.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I thought so. Oh, my God, look what's happening right

[Rachel Reid]

now with the cat. Is he gonna have the background? We have so many questions. We've been saving up for you. How are you?

[Josh Gonzalez]

Oh, no, I'm good. How are you?

[Ashley]

Josh Gonzalez.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

It will be a rapid fire to wrap up episode three. Is Kip's dad gay?

[Rachel Reid]

Yes.

[Josh Gonzalez]

Well, I don't know. That's maybe me, like, secretly wishing he's gay. I think he is very in touch with his emotional side, which we don't see a lot of representation of heterosexual men having that quality. And so I think it speaks to, like, a side of masculinity, as does the whole show that, like, you don't really see a lot. And I think I attribute a lot of those things to being more gay than straight because of how they're often represented in popular media. But so that's sort of my wishful thinking. But he does seem to be not even just understanding, but, like, radically accepting of his son. And he seems like the kind of person that wouldn't be. So. Yeah.

[Rachel Reid]

Don't you think everybody wants, like, a dad relationship like that? Like, I think there's something to that of, like, like the friend relationships and the pain. Like, you want a dad who's gonna, like, care about your emotional well being and, like, Hug you and, like, support. I don't know. Like, I feel, like, not the unconditional love. Not many of us have dads that, like, behave that way and, like, see those things. I feel like there's a whole relationship there, that. A longing for something like that. And I think it's beautiful that they made it a dad. There's no mom, you know? Like, I think it was an interesting.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Like, any good Disney story, the mom is dead for sure.

[Rachel Reid]

The mom died. Oh, and he had. Maybe he had to raise them all on his own and he never got over her.

[Josh Gonzalez]

Yeah. Or maybe she died of a broken heart because Kip's dad's gay.

[Ashley]

This is what I'm saying. This is what my hypothesis is.

[Rachel Reid]

Wait, let's see. Josh, do you know what pea socking is?

[Josh Gonzalez]

Pea socking? No, I don't think so.

[Rachel Reid]

Instead of peacocking, it's men who wear fancy socks with their suits, and it's like a peacock. So, like, the banana socks. The banana socks are pee socking.

[Josh Gonzalez]

Okay. Is that, like, a word?

[Rachel Reid]

Is it not sexual? It is not sexual.

[Josh Gonzalez]

Yeah, I was. I was automatically thinking of docking.

[Rachel Reid]

I know, I know. You went sexual with it and you didn't have to.

[Josh Gonzalez]

Where did you hear about pee socking?

[Rachel Reid]

I don't know. I just hear things. I just hear things. People tell me things.

[Ashley]

Actually, the urologic pathologist at Cornell, where I did residency, was always right.

[Rachel Reid]

You remember that?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I think.

[Ashley]

I think, like, oh, for sure.

[Rachel Reid]

Male urologists do a lot of peace hocking.

[Josh Gonzalez]

Yeah.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

He also pediatric male urologists.

[Rachel Reid]

It's very specifically.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Much higher percentage of P. Docking.

[Josh Gonzalez]

Yes. I would say it's. It's that group and then old eccentric gay men that peace suck. Like, young, hip gay guys. They're not usually peace hocking.

[Rachel Reid]

They don't need to. Peace act.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

They don't need to.

[Rachel Reid]

They don't need to.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

They're allowed to have flair other places in their life.

[Josh Gonzalez]

Right, right, right.

[Ashley]

Yeah. It's kind of like the bow tie phenomenon.

[Rachel Reid]

Josh, was your meeting. Was it worth missing half this episode for the meeting? Like, was it a good meeting?

[Josh Gonzalez]

It was a good meeting. It was a good meeting.

[Rachel Reid]

Was it productive? Did you go over P and L? Would you like to share it?

[Josh Gonzalez]

It was very pnl. It was very spreadsheet. It was very like, yeah, what targets are we hitting? What targets are we not hitting? Yeah.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Is that urologist?

[Rachel Reid]

Sorry.

[Josh Gonzalez]

Like, how far is the cum shooting? Are we hitting the target? Like, that kind of. That kind of conversation?

[Rachel Reid]

Sorry, that's inappropriate.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Is more. L3. And you need it. Josh, can you please tell all of our audience what you're working on and where they can buy it?

[Josh Gonzalez]

Yeah, it's this guy right here.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

It is called Pop Star. For the audio only.

[Josh Gonzalez]

Yeah, it's called Pop Star, a volume taste enhancer. So it's an over the counter supplement meant to increase the size of your ejaculate volume and somewhat neutralize and partially sweeten the taste.

[Rachel Reid]

So have you done studies? Have you done studies? Because I like to do studies in my office. Like, I'm.

[Josh Gonzalez]

I have not done studies. Volume studies, we have done just patient and customer reports, but we have not actually, like, measured. We at one point thought about doing, like, semen analyses, at least to just check volume, but that just gets really expensive.

[Rachel Reid]

So, I mean, no, like, have guys just ejaculate in a cup and get a syringe and draw it up and then they can measure and then they

[Ashley]

can be like, oh, look how much ejaculate I have.

[Rachel Reid]

And it can be so excited.

[Josh Gonzalez]

Yeah.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Is ejaculate volume correlated with testosterone level?

[Josh Gonzalez]

So there's an interesting relationship. Well, there's an interesting relationship with testosterone in general because. Right. Like, there's a decline in volume that happens as men age naturally, and that sort of mirrors the effect of. Of testosterone declining. Clomid is one of the medications that we sometimes put people on to improve their semen parameters, one of those being volume. Right. And that increases testosterone. But testosterone replacement therapy can actually cause a decline in ejaculatory volume as well. So, like, some guys get put on testosterone replacement therapy and notice a decline in their ejaculatory volume. So because of shrinkage, I mean, I think so. But like, 5. Only 5% of the ejaculate volume is like sperm. Right. So that's like the only part that's coming from the testicle. So you would think it wouldn't be that much, but I don't think we know exactly all of the things that it's doing to the other organs that are important. Like the.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Helping the prostate, like, toss testosterone below a certain threshold would cause atrophy of the prostate. You'd think giving testosterone would help the prostate, be more of a prostate and make more lubrication.

[Rachel Reid]

Right.

[Ashley]

Like, yeah, I would think so, too.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

More research, you know. You know who should fund this? Hhs.

[Ashley]

Where?

[Josh Gonzalez]

Where hhs. Well, more specifically, Cornell got into some trouble about doing ejaculatory studies already, so they probably don't want to have anything

[Rachel Reid]

to do with it. The AUA has been very quiet about that. No comment. Josh, what is your overarching thoughts about Kip and Scott Hunter?

[Josh Gonzalez]

I love that. Dare I say, I actually enjoyed that part of the series even more than the main characters.

[Rachel Reid]

Tell us more.

[Josh Gonzalez]

I mean, I just think, like, it's such a beautiful relationship, and we spoke about this kind of, I think, a little bit last time. But I love the episode focused specifically on them. I love their interaction in the kitchen after. Well, their whole interaction from the time they get home and have passionate sex. And then the next morning, they wake up and are just hanging around in their underwear, and he's making him a smoothie, and then they decide that they're still horny, go have sex again, and then come back and have this, like, really emotional, touching kind of relationship again, where they're just like. He starts making him a smoothie again, and they're, like, really sweet to each other. And I just think, like we said last time, I don't think there's a lot of representation of man on man sex that is. That goes beyond the bedroom. It's like either just like, rip your clothes off, or it's like two old gay men that have been together forever. You don't often see this juxtaposition of, like, horniness and romance. You know what I mean?

[Ashley]

I think so much in all representations of love in television, it's like either this passionate, sexy, new relationship energy, or it's like the people who have settled down and, like, definitely, definitely in popular media, we haven't become comfortable with the full complexity of gay male love. But I think we have a problem representing that earnestness in love all the

[Josh Gonzalez]

time and that they can exist, like, literally from one moment to the next. Right? Like, you can, like, finish having sex with someone and just be like, do you want to have breakfast? Like, you know, like, let's. Let's do this now, this, like, romantic thing together. Because that's kind of. That's real life, right? I mean, but that's not really, like, you're saying how sexual and romantic love is represented on screen.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I love it. So let's wrap this, because I know we're all super excited for episode four, but, Rachel, there is one story that I said we must talk about when we're doing this, and this is you getting into an Uber in California and finding out that the Uber driver was a porn star.

[Rachel Reid]

This happened. This is a real story.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

So we just want to. Can we wrap with that story? Because I just feel like we need to know.

[Rachel Reid]

I don't know what it has to do with heated rivalry, but I'm here for it. So I flew into LAX a couple weeks ago to speak to 3,500 primary care clinicians. I was keynoting a conference to teach them about how to prescribe hormone therapy. And the company, like, pays you to get picked up at lax? So I walk out of lax, this giant big black car comes to pick me up, and this guy gets in, he says, where are you going? I was going to Anaheim. So it was a long drive. And he asks me what I do, why I'm in California, and I say, oh, I'm, you know, I'm giving a talk. What kind of, you know, what do you do? I'm a doctor. What kind of doctor are you? You know, of course I say, I'm a sex doctor because why hide it? And then he, like, lit up like a Christmas tree. And he was so excited to tell me that he has been working in the porn industry for like 20 years. And he got it started and then we proceeded for the next 45 minutes to talk about his. Of course, we now both follow each other on Instagram. And he has won many awards. He has a Wikipedia page and he has won many awards and some which names are so downright wildly hysterical. And he, he's sort of like the LL Cool J of the porn industry. That's kind of what his, his, his shtick was. Anyway, we had, we had a hysterical conversation and we, like, knew similar people and it was just like a very, very sex positive talking about sexual health. And it was super interesting. It was like. And it like, makes me think. It was like, I go from talking to your Grandma about preventing UTIs and why she needs vaginal estrogen to like, being able to have conversations with porn in Ubers. Like, it, it was like, so lovely. He was just lovely. And I was like, my life is amazing. I love the stories of my life. They are so much fun.

[Josh Gonzalez]

Does he do gay porn or straight porn?

[Rachel Reid]

I. I think it's mostly straight porn.

[Josh Gonzalez]

Okay.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I just felt like it was such a happy story about this. And I'm sure, like, you had an hour long conversation with this human, and I'm sure you guys both just absolutely loved having it. So thank you for sharing it.

[Rachel Reid]

My pleasure.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Okay, we're gonna wrap episode three and we'll come back next week with episode four, which we are all. Jo, you're dying as much for us to talk about it, because we're just dying to talk about episode four. Ashley's holding her breath. All right. Until next week. See you very soon. If you found this episode funny, helpful, insightful, please take a moment to follow rate and share the you are Not Broken podcast with someone who might need this conversation too. That support is how this information reaches more people and thank you for courses, books and my monthly membership and the Casperson clinic information. Visit KellyCaspersonMD.com this podcast and all content from Dr. Kelly Casperson is intended for educational and informational purposes only, and this is not a substitute for individual medical coaching or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the guidance of your qualified healthcare professional with any questions you may have regarding your health. Never disregard or delay medical advice because of something you've heard on this or other podcasts. Thanks for being here. And remember, you are not broken

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