Podcast Episode Summary

You Betcha Radio

Episode: #1 Rule for Guys (#362)
Date: January 28, 2026
Host & Panel: Myles the You Betcha Guy, Ryan, Tyler, Jerrod

Main Theme

This episode explores the "Number 1 Rule for Guys" as seen through the lens of Midwest man culture—blending nostalgia, Midwest living, humor, and the unspoken rules that guide friendships, road trips, and daily life. The gang riff on relatable scenarios, weigh in on modern "guy codes," and interweave stories about New Year's resolutions, weird superpowers, Midwest remedies, and football frustrations.

Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Cold Weather Woes Kickoff (00:00 – 04:11)

• Myles shares a classic Midwest story: his double-pane window cracked from the extreme Fargo cold.

• Discussion spins into old-school window insulation hacks like Saran Wrap.

• Quote:
  "It's been so cold here in Fargo that my window just cracked." (A, 00:37)

• Banter on whether spouse Anne really broke the window, and classic “dad DIY” fixes.

2. The #1 Rule for Guys Roundtable (04:11 – 10:55)

Main Segment: Each hosts’ “Number One Rule” for guys.

• Myles (A): “If alcohol is under 5%, it doesn’t count.” (04:57)

• Ryan (B): Never compliment friends to their face—only behind their back. (05:30)

  • Quote:
    "I will never compliment my friends to their face. It's my number one rule." (B, 05:30)

• Tyler (D): You have to wave when passing someone on a gravel road.

  • Quote:
    "My number one rule is waving at someone when you pass them on a gravel road." (D, 05:51)

• Other rapid-fire “rules”: If you eat standing up, it doesn’t count; always have six ratchet straps in your truck; no breaking up during the day; always buy something at a gas station on a road trip; never throw out cords or old clothes.

• Breakup Rule:
  "If you’re going to break up with your girlfriend, you can't do it during the day. You have to do it at night." (A, 07:37)

3. Midwest Superstitions, Traditions, and Lifehacks (10:55 – 27:31)

• Pull tabs etiquette—starting with less than $20 is shameful.

• If you win big with a low buy-in, you have to buy lunch.

• Additional "rules" for group activities: Always check if friends want in on pull tabs or a beer run, or need to use the bathroom at the same time.

• Bathroom Adventures:

  • Choosing the optimal urinal/stall.
  • “Group poops” in high school (team bonding before a basketball game).
    • "We used to do that in high school for basketball games, we called it group poop." (A, 17:50)

• On guy road trips: drivers expect gas money (with a little “inflation”), everyone must buy something at a gas station, and packing snacks never feels right.

• Quote:
  "You can't just go to every gas station along the way and take a leak and not buy at least one thing." (A, 23:01)

4. New Year’s Resolutions—The ‘Pivot’ (38:13 – 50:44)

• Jared reveals he is scrapping his sourdough starter resolution for a more practical goal: lose 20 pounds by July 4th.

  • The team negotiates accountability: weekly weigh-ins, consistency until the end of the year.

• Myles tries, unsuccessfully, to swap his unfinished Rubik’s Cube resolution for parenting-related achievements.

• Quote:
  "I think the only way we accept this potential pivot is if you lose 20 pounds by July 4th, and you keep it off until December 31st." (D, 48:50)

• The group frames Jared’s weight loss as being essential for the Vikings’ Super Bowl hopes—a recurring “stakes-raising” bit.

5. Blind Ranking Shitty Superpowers (56:43 – 66:02)

First-ever “blind ranking” on the podcast. Superpowers include:

• Summoning the nearest wheelchair like Thor’s hammer.

• Snapping fingers to get $1,000 but everyone within 500 yards craps their pants.

• For every website cookie you accept, you get a real cookie.

• 51% chance to win any coin flip.

• Eyes glow red and voice becomes deep, but no other effect.

• Memorable Moment:
  "Just make massive quantities of humans shit their pants on command is insane." (A, 65:55)

6. Football & Broadcast Talk (“Two Minute Rule”) (29:02 – 34:47)

• Rants about NFL announcers: Tom Brady (too repetitive), Jonathan Vilma (not a fan).

• Minnesota Vikings’ fate—discussing former QBs, management, and “trusting the process.”

• Self-aware joke that the football talk is supposed to be capped at two minutes.

  • “My number one rule is that on You Betcha Radio, you get two minutes of football talk and then we move on.” (D, 34:00)

7. Patreon Q&A and Midwest Remedies (70:35 – End)

• “How much would it take to step into a UFC ring and last a round?”—$500,000 consensus, fear of being KO’d.

• Midwest cold remedies. Classic debate: hot toddy (brandy & honey), Irish coffee, chicken noodle soup, and skepticism about which, if any, people really use.

  • Quote:
    "Who drinks hot toddies? Old men. What am I to you guys?" (B, 83:04)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Compliments:
  "I will never compliment my friends to their face. It's my number one rule." (Ryan, 05:30)

• On Breakups:
  "You just can't go to her house, break up, and then walk outside and it's sunny out." (A, 07:46)

• On Pull Tabs:
  "Could you imagine rolling up to buy some pull tabs with, like, four dollars?" (A, 13:47)

• On Midwest Road Trips:
  "You can't just go to every gas station along the way and take a leak and not buy at least one thing." (A, 23:01)

• On Guy Bathrooms:
  "We used to do that in high school for basketball games, we called it group poop." (A, 17:50)

• Superpower Mayhem:
  "Just make massive quantities of humans shit their pants on command is insane." (A, 65:55)

• On Tom Brady Broadcasting:
  "He says the same fucking things every game he announces... Buddy, you need new material." (B, 29:40)

Timestamps for Notable Segments

• Cold Crack Story & Saran Wrap Windows: 00:00 – 04:11
• Number One Rule for Guys: 04:11 – 10:55
• Pull Tab Ethics & Bar Stories: 13:13 – 16:58
• Group Poop / Bathroom Rituals: 17:50 – 19:18
• Gas Station Road Trip Rule: 22:51 – 24:47
• Resolution Pivot (Sourdough to Weight Loss): 38:13 – 50:44
• Blind Ranking - Shitty Superpowers: 56:43 – 66:02
• Football/Announcer Rants: 29:02 – 34:47
• UFC Fight Money Question: 70:35 – 79:58
• Midwest Cold Remedies: 82:47 – End

Tone & Style

True to its “most Midwest podcast on the planet” billing—conversation is casual, self-deprecating, and fueled by deadpan humor and regional in-jokes. The gang are quick to riff on one another, double down on bits, and seamlessly blend nostalgia with the reality of adulting in cold climates. No topic is too trivial, and the “rules” are both parody and real guidance for life lived Midwest-style.

Useful for New Listeners?

Absolutely—this episode captures the signature camaraderie, regional humor, and timeless male group dynamics. Listeners get a mix of practical guy “rules,” absurd hypotheticals, and inside-baseball style sports banter, all anchored in Midwestern context.