16 Things Myles Absolutely Hates 🎙 #332

Summary

You Betcha Radio – Episode: "16 Things Myles Absolutely Hates 🎙 #332"

Release Date: June 25, 2025

Welcome to another laughter-filled episode of You Betcha Radio, the quintessential "Midwest" podcast hosted by Myles, Ryan, Tyler, and Jared. In this episode, titled "16 Things Myles Absolutely Hates 🎙 #332," the gang dives deep into a variety of topics ranging from workplace antics and quirky character updates to a nostalgic segment revisiting Myles' list of pet peeves. Here's a comprehensive breakdown of the episode's key moments and discussions.

---

Health Hiccups and Team Dynamics (00:00 – 02:31)

The episode kicks off with the team addressing recent health issues, particularly Jared's absence due to illness. Miles humorously remarks:

Miles (00:31): "Throw ups. In two weeks, you guys are next."

The camaraderie shines as they jest about "puking trophies" and share light-hearted banter about handling sickness within the group.

---

Donuts and Construction Site Shenanigans (02:31 – 08:05)

Myles recounts his recent visit to his father's construction site, where he attempted to boost morale with an assortment of donuts. The story unfolds with him navigating construction jargon and receiving playful ribbing from the crew:

Miles (03:36): "Recognized it immediately. And then if you want to call me a Jedi Master, concrete guy..."

The conversation highlights the challenges of reconnecting with an old crew, coupled with humorous takes on construction work ethics and staffing woes.

---

Dave the Nudist: A Character Update (08:05 – 15:07)

The team shifts focus to update listeners on Dave, a recurring character known for his nudist lifestyle. Miles shares amusing anecdotes about Dave's antics, including setting traps and sending unconventional videos:

Miles (08:29): "Dave sets traps buck naked on this podcast or was that on Patreon?"

They delve into Dave's mundane yet bizarre activities, painting a vivid picture of his unique lifestyle choices and their impact on those around him.

---

Segment: 16 Things Myles Absolutely Hates (36:52 – 62:36)

In a nostalgic and entertaining segment, Jared presents a curated list of "16 Things Myles Absolutely Hates" compiled from previous episodes. The discussion ranges from TV show intros to everyday annoyances, each item sparking relatable and humorous conversations.

Highlights Include:

1. The Sopranos Intro (37:23 – 38:11)

   • Miles (37:29): "There's no oomph to it. I don't know. There's just nothing that gets me hard."

2. First Looks at Weddings (44:28 – 47:18)

   • Miles expresses discomfort with staged "first look" moments, preferring genuine emotions over scripted interactions.

3. Hump Day Ads (47:40 – 48:43)

   • Miles (48:00): "We can bring it back for you. Big win for the boys."

4. Nissan Cubes with Curved Rear Glass (48:51 – 49:00)

   • Critique of unnecessary design choices that detract from the vehicle's aesthetic.

5. Corn Mazes: Haunted vs. Not (49:28 – 51:09)

   • Miles (50:10): "What's the fun in that?"

6. Taking the Stairs at Hotels (52:26 – 53:43)

   • Miles (52:29): "I'll live in a cardboard box if I ever live in an apartment without an elevator."

7. Buying Presents (60:18 – 61:57)

   • Miles shares his ambivalence towards the tradition of gift-giving, emphasizing personal struggles with selecting presents.

8. Face Paint and Body Art (53:50 – 56:22)

   • Disdain for adults using face paint outside of specific contexts like hunting or theater, though with an exception for athletic purposes.

Each topic is explored with the group's signature humor, providing listeners with both laughs and moments of reflection.

---

Wiffle Ball World Series Plans (22:34 – 33:18)

The conversation shifts to the upcoming Wiffle Ball World Series, detailing plans, challenges, and team dynamics. The team discusses scheduling conflicts, role assignments, and strategies for the tournament:

Miles (22:26): "It's legit. They got like a whole setup and a scoreboard and they do, like a national anthem."

Despite some logistical hurdles, including Ryan's prior commitments to a concert, the group's enthusiasm for participating remains evident.

---

Prize Picks and Betting Wins (16:43 – 18:36)

Injecting an element of sports betting humor, the team shares their recent successes with Prize Picks:

Tyler (16:15): "We have five out of six. The only reason why we didn't go six out of six is because Halliburton got hurt."

Their light-hearted competition and camaraderie shine as they boast about individual winnings, fostering a playful vibe.

---

Closing Conversations and Future Segments (78:33 – 82:00)

As the episode nears its end, the team entertains hypothetical scenarios, such as Jared's query about handling a work trip to Mexico. The playful banter continues with jokes about marrying and "killing" each other, encapsulating the group's dynamic rapport.

Towards the end, Jared shares an intriguing fun fact about the earliest vending machines:

Jared (68:05): "The earliest known reference to a vending machine is in the work of Hero of Alexandria..."

This segment adds an educational twist to the episode, blending seamlessly with the ongoing humor.

---

Audience Engagement and Patreon Promotion

Throughout the episode, the hosts encourage listeners to engage with their content through Patreon, offering exclusive episodes and behind-the-scenes material:

Miles (21:35): "If anyone's looking for a job in the Fargo Moorhead area doing some concrete, let me know."

This call-to-action fosters a sense of community and invites deeper connection with the audience.

---

Notable Quotes

• Miles (03:16): "But I just want you guys to know that I still got it."
• Tyler (37:44): "I don't mind the first look when it's actually the bride there."
• Jared (58:10): "They can't do anything right."

---

Conclusion

"16 Things Myles Absolutely Hates 🎙 #332" delivers a compelling mix of humor, personal stories, and engaging discussions. From workplace tales and character updates to a nostalgic look at Myles' pet peeves, the episode encapsulates the essence of Midwest camaraderie and relatable humor. Whether you're a longtime listener or a newcomer, this episode offers plenty to laugh about and enjoy.

Tune in every Wednesday for more episodes filled with man culture, nostalgia, and the unique charm that only You Betcha Radio can provide. Cheers!

Transcript

[Miles]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the you betcha radio podcast.

[Tyler]

Hi.

[Miles]

How is everyone feeling? We're at full strength. We tried to do the podcast yesterday, but Jared was out sick. He came into my office, he said, gonna throw up.

[Jared]

That's not really an exaggeration.

[Miles]

It was a little bit like that. Yeah, your voice was a little shaky. Did you throw up?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Throw ups. In two weeks, you guys are next.

[Ryan]

Did you get a video of it for proof? For proof, for proof. Otherwise everyone's gonna be like, oh, he was faking it. He hasn't had a day off in a while.

[Miles]

So one would be nice next time to get some visual proof that you did throw up.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Miles]

But also, you have the puking trophy now.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Must be a water on that side of the room or something. Yeah, because we. We've been doing fine over here.

[Miles]

We're three for four on puking this year because remember, I was out sick earlier this year. Two day flu bug.

[Tyler]

All eyes on you.

[Miles]

You have you.

[Ryan]

Well, I haven't puked at my new house yet, and I've been in there since February 14th.

[Tyler]

Have you scoped out where you're going to do it when it comes you?

[Ryan]

Plenty of options.

[Tyler]

Picked a bathroom.

[Ryan]

Plenty of options. A lot of outside. A lot of outside surface. Surface area to puke to. My dog puke three times in the. In the dirt yesterday, so.

[Jared]

Oh, there.

[Miles]

Well, it depends on what time because your dog could have a puking trophy.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Oh, and then speaking of puking, how could I forget about this? I was. So she puked twice. I'm like, okay, she was just eating grass. And then I brought her inside and I'm. I'm pouring bubbles. I'm like. So I'm like on my knees pouring bubbles into the bathtub for my kid, and my wife comes in. She's like, oh, God, Birdie threw up. Oh, God, your feet are in it. So I must, like, lifted my feet up and then, like, put them back down right in the puke. So she just feels the need to puke right right next to me.

[Tyler]

And that was.

[Ryan]

I know.

[Miles]

And anyways, yeah, yeah, it's a lot of puke talk right off the top. So glad to have you back, Jared. I. Last week I visited my dad's job site. They were working in my neighborhood and I, you know, I told the crew, hey, I'm gonna swing by with some. With some dent with some donuts, and we're just gonna shoot the ship for 15 minutes. Morning break.

[Ryan]

Well, your dad obviously wasn't There.

[Miles]

He wasn't there.

[Ryan]

No, he's in charge.

[Tyler]

So he was doing bids somewhere.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So I, I went to the gas station, picked up some donuts, made sure I had a good arrangement. There's a lot of pressure involved with getting donuts. You know, you got to make sure to get some cream filled ones, some long johns, maybe even a fried roll, maple fried roll, you know, cake, donuts. You got to be mixing it up, which I did, and I executed okay. On and went down the hole. Just like old times, you know, Donut hole. One of the, One of the guys I didn't know was working there was a fan, so took a photo with him.

[Tyler]

Oh, and he got roasted the rest of the day.

[Miles]

He probably got roasted.

[Ryan]

Well, you probably got roasted too, after you left.

[Miles]

But I just. Oh, yeah, no, I got roasted while I was there, which we'll get into. And so I just want you guys to know that I still got it.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

In what way? Like you weren't.

[Miles]

So they're setting a ten foot wall.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

And I noticed that at this point, there was no top row of ties, which you guys would know what that means.

[Ryan]

God, no.

[Tyler]

No.

[Miles]

So I threw out a little jargon. I go, oh, you guys doing top clamps today then or what? He said, yeah, it's a, it's a nine footer, not a ten footer. So, you know, we're gonna top clamp it because the top ties will miss anyways.

[Jared]

So, like, that's about 30ft.

[Miles]

Yeah. So just thrown around, concrete jargon. Still got it. Recognized it immediately. And then if you want to call me a Jedi Master, concrete guy, the guy who's a fan must have been a little flustered because he rotted the wall wrong. And so I, you know, told the one guy, my, hey, you're going to want to make sure he runs that wall right.

[Tyler]

I. I don't know if you should be proud of that. Why you, you become the foreman who.

[Ryan]

Just barks telling somebody who's not involved to pass.

[Miles]

Well, I figured it would have been impolite for some guy to walk in off the street wearing Crocs.

[Ryan]

That's true.

[Miles]

Tell him how to rot a wall. You know, I figured that was, you know, not good. Then the guy goes, we don't want to embarrass him. I'll tell him after you leave.

[Ryan]

What would have been worse is if you would have called your dad, told him, and then he had had to show up or whatever, call somebody to die.

[Tyler]

Can you imagine? Miles?

[Miles]

Dad, dad, they're not doing it right.

[Tyler]

You guys did it wrong, dad.

[Miles]

Yeah, that been bad. But I realized something talking to the old crew, that construction workers are simple creatures. They have two things they like to make fun of people for, and it's either not doing enough work or having soft hands. And that is it. And they hit both of those. I got down into the hole with my dad's old crew and he said, he immediately commented and said that I had soft hands. Now you know, I don't do enough. And then it was, well, maybe you should stop wearing a tool belt for those videos and put it on. And put it. And put it on for real and come help us.

[Tyler]

Well, now I know who's been commenting that on all those videos.

[Miles]

So it just bang, bang, right back to back. And I wanted to be like, okay, you get that out of your system. Can we have a real conversation now? But it's just anytime you're. You're in a situation, you don't know what to do and you're a construction worker, immediately comment about how no one works as hard as you or how everyone's got softer hands than you to.

[Tyler]

For the kind of. This situation kind of feels like you're a sophomore in college and you go back to your high school for a homecoming game and you start chirping with your buddies that were two years younger than you.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Tyler]

Very similar vibes here.

[Miles]

Yeah. Back in my day, it was rite of passage to get a concussion every game.

[Tyler]

Yeah. You know, we didn't even fucking have helmets two years ago when I was.

[Miles]

Concussions weren't even invented when I was there. It was just. You got a little doozy.

[Ryan]

Were you like, were you comparing crews at all? Like our, like our crew back.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan]

So much better than this crew. Like, we would have had this up in X amount of time.

[Miles]

I didn't, but I should have. I should have been. I should have walked in and this is the classic. Actually, no, the first thing I did because it's 10 footer, so it was like little mini, like planks around the whole top of the thing. So I walked up on there and said, that's all you guys got done today. And they actually thought I was a different guy that used to work there because he used to say that all the time. So I was. Good vibes, good vibes.

[Tyler]

How many, how many are left from your crew?

[Miles]

My dad's crew. There's three still standing that you worked with.

[Tyler]

So that would have been a perfect time to roll out. Like Ryan said. Well, our crew back in the day, we'd have been two hours ahead of this.

[Miles]

It's a little touchy, though, because they are understaffed, and so they, like, they think about that, like, all day long. Yeah. Like, they. They already knew that.

[Tyler]

You know, you're right. We would be way ahead if we.

[Miles]

Yeah, because back in the day, we had, like, 10, 15, 13 guys. Now they're, like, down to, like, six, you know?

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah. And your dad. Your dad had boys who were bringing, like, your college buddies back to help, you know, so, like, there's a transition where now your guys's kids need to get old. They need to get about 16 years older.

[Miles]

And then my dad's still doing in 16 years. I think he's going to be pretty upset.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

So very cool.

[Ryan]

Then he'll really be sitting in the truck all day.

[Miles]

But I did acquire some new Dave stories.

[Ryan]

Really?

[Miles]

Did I tell the story about Dave setting traps buck naked on this podcast or was that on Patreon?

[Tyler]

I have not heard him setting traps.

[Miles]

He'S ever addicted to. To being naked. Now, Dave. Dave is now a full nudist.

[Tyler]

He lives in town, doesn't he?

[Miles]

No, no, no. He lives out in the country.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

He mows his lawn naked. He sets traps naked. And not only that, he's now apparently addicted to sending naked videos to a guy that works.

[Tyler]

Dave, you gotta chill.

[Miles]

Yeah, Dave's fully on it, but good to. So Dave's still thinking about us, by the way.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

A story. One of the guys that works there that he's the main contact with Dave these days.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

Dave called him, and he was really worried about where we were getting our shirts from and if the tariffs were gonna really hurt our merchandise game.

[Tyler]

Say, good looking out.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Gotta be uncomfortable for Dave's contact, though, to know that every time he's on the phone with Dave, Dave's butt ass naked.

[Miles]

Yeah, well, he knows it because he'll get a video of it.

[Ryan]

Yeah, well, Dave doesn't need to. He doesn't need to worry about the price of T shirts increasing because he's not gonna be wearing one anyway.

[Tyler]

Dude, smart.

[Ryan]

He's.

[Tyler]

No tariffs if you don't wear clothes.

[Ryan]

Exactly.

[Miles]

And the most shocking thing we got. The information I got is the guy that works there. His dad ran into Dave at the store, and he.

[Ryan]

Was he clothed?

[Miles]

All right, But. Oh, God, Dave. Dave's in the store. He's like, hey, what's going on? How is he? He's doing good. Yeah. Went to the doctor, apparently. I gotta get a colonoscopy. Like, yelling this in the store. And like, the guy's dad apparently was kind of like, we could talk about this outside. We have to yell this. The whole story kept going. He's like, yep, but now, but apparently before I do the colonoscopy, they want me to in a box and send it in. He's like, so I'm probably gonna take a video of it and send it to, send it to Bob. We'll just say Bob's the guy's name. So there may be a video in the near future of Dave in a box, naked, sent to someone. He's, he's lost his mind.

[Ryan]

I wonder what angle he's going to take the video at.

[Miles]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Ryan]

Front, back or side?

[Miles]

Side.

[Jared]

Tripod.

[Miles]

We need to teach Dave about no face, no case.

[Tyler]

I think the buried headline in this entire Dave story is that he's going to the doctor.

[Jared]

That's good.

[Miles]

Well, yeah, I'm sure. I don't know why.

[Tyler]

He just, he doesn't seem like a guy that trusts doctors.

[Miles]

So then I go, is Dave working somewhere these days? And he said, he said, yeah, he's still like working part time for a trapper guy, one of his trapper friends. But apparently he's just getting raked over the cold couple hundred bucks here and there. And they told me that they did the math, that Dave is now making $9 an hour.

[Tyler]

He can't put a price on doing something you love.

[Ryan]

Like, I think you can deliver papers for more than nine bucks.

[Tyler]

That's less than minimum wage.

[Miles]

Well, is the minimum wage still like 7?

[Ryan]

7:25?

[Jared]

I think that's the federal one.

[Miles]

So basically, Dave retired to work minimum wage, working with, you know, skin and, and getting his hands all dirty.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Pros and cons. So, I mean, like, he gets, I.

[Miles]

Suppose it actually, like he's getting paid more than minimum wage.

[Ryan]

And it sounds like he can do it naked.

[Miles]

But the funny thing is is he's been buddies with this trapper guy for time. And Dave's like, good at that. He's good at what he does. So the fact he's getting paid $9 an hour is kind of criminal.

[Tyler]

So I, I, I think he's on the east side of the border. Correct. Like, he lives, he lives in Minnesota.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

Their minimum wage is 1150.

[Ryan]

Well, maybe it's like an incentive thing. You know, it's like a server. You get like four bucks an hour.

[Miles]

It is all cash.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So, you know, let's say Dave gets four bucks an hour. Then five bucks per hide that he skins or whatever. Maybe, you know.

[Miles]

Doubtful.

[Tyler]

Yeah, he's working on commission.

[Ryan]

Well, he ain't got to buy clothes anymore, so you can pay his own first. Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. He's getting prepped to wear his own furs.

[Tyler]

Hey, he needs a new blanket for the winter. Yep. His. His old fur blanket. Never been washed. Starting to get a little musky. Musty.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan]

Quite the story.

[Miles]

So, yeah, he's living his best life, making $9 an hour in boxes, videos, naked.

[Jared]

I've never heard of the in the box thing.

[Miles]

It's like a. It's like a service now that, like, you can send in a stool sample and they'll analyze it and tell you if you need.

[Jared]

Oh, okay.

[Miles]

There's anything wrong?

[Tyler]

I don't know that. When I got my colonoscopy, they said that that was optional and I declined.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, it's gotta get posted.

[Ryan]

You gotta call an Oscar.

[Tyler]

I've talked about it, like, five times.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. All right. Sorry. So, yeah, so that's the Dave update I got for you guys.

[Ryan]

Does he know that we're thinking about him?

[Miles]

I doubt it.

[Tyler]

I kind of hope not. I don't want him to listen to this.

[Miles]

I mean, what. We're just telling the truth. It's not like I'm fabricating things. I'm just saying the news that I've heard from other people, I just. And. Or reporting on the videos that he's sent to people.

[Tyler]

I just. I don't want him to find out that he's semi famous and get cold feet on coming on the pod eventually one day.

[Miles]

Yeah, I don't.

[Jared]

He's out in shoes.

[Tyler]

True. That doesn't help the cold feet situation.

[Miles]

We should get him on the pod. Yeah. I was a little nervous that he did find out and that he would be like, you know, these guys. But he's worried about our. Where we're getting our shirts from and how much that's going to run us.

[Ryan]

So he's. Yeah, he's worried about it.

[Miles]

He cares. Yeah, he cares. So, yeah, all in all, great trip back to the. Back to the crew.

[Tyler]

Very construction worker of them to get free donuts and then just talk. The delivery guy.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, guys, time to play some prize picks this week. And right now, Prize picks will give you $50 in lineups. When you play your first $5 lineup, win or lose, you'll get 50 bucks in lineups. You use promo code YBR when you sign up today. And you get that deal. Boys could be hotter right now.

[Tyler]

Big win for the boys.

[Miles]

Big Tyler slipped a slip into our slip and I don't even remember what it was on. I just. I just press copy and paste and did it.

[Tyler]

NBA Game 7, NBA Finals Game 7. We did a six legger. We had Benedict Matheran, Isaiah Hartenstein, Lou Dort.

[Miles]

Yeah, we have five out of six. The only reason why we didn't go six out of six is because Halliburton got hurt.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So we rebooted. So we went five for five. I won 400 bucks. Tyler won 330, Jared won 220. 220. And Ryan won 110, which is hilarious because he likes to bet more than we do. And so, yeah, that's what you get when you go power play. Boys.

[Tyler]

It feels good to be the resident not basketball guy, get one down and hit a basketball lineup.

[Miles]

So we're feeling good after this last week.

[Tyler]

We're riding high. I'll start sharing my basketball lineups with the patrons.

[Miles]

Yeah, there you go. That being said. Yeah, you're like, wow, basketball's done after game seven.

[Ryan]

Wrong.

[Miles]

Best basketballs just getting rolling. Basketball just started to bounce because this week we're going wnba, boys.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. So we got four picks. Wnba. I went with a lock. My girl. Sabrina. Aya Nas. Anaski Ayahuasca. Ionescu. Sabrina. Sabrina ionescu. More than 21 and a half points. It's a Red Devil. Toggle up. Lock it in. Ryan's going with Jewel. Jewel Lloyd. More than 11. More than 11 and a half points. He told me that that was a lock he had to run in the post office. Tyler.

[Tyler]

I got Aja Wilson. More than three and a half assists.

[Miles]

Red Devil.

[Tyler]

Red Devil. She's due. She's had a few games with only two assists, so she's due.

[Jared]

And Jared, I got Natasha Cloud more than seven and a half points.

[Tyler]

So hopefully she doesn't have her head in the clouds this game.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's. It's a lock. You just go ahead and book it now. So, yeah, you guys want to roll WNBA with us this summer? Here we go.

[Tyler]

Here we go.

[Miles]

Now we go.

[Tyler]

I might mess around and put some money on League of Legends next week.

[Jared]

There you go.

[Miles]

I want to get in the golf game too. Next week. Oh, actually next week. Hot dog eating contest.

[Tyler]

Hell yeah.

[Miles]

So guys, go sign up Code YBR and prize picks. It's a great time, especially do with your buddies. Riding with your. With your buddies and everyone hidden is just the best.

[Tyler]

It is a Great feeling.

[Miles]

So go check it out.

[Ryan]

Just out of curiosity, what would they have done if you'd have shown up with like, muffins or something?

[Miles]

I don't think they would have cared.

[Ryan]

Okay, free food.

[Tyler]

Free food.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

I mean, they would have been like muffins. It's weird, but yeah.

[Tyler]

He showed up with a box of lemon scones.

[Ryan]

Look at this, though.

[Tyler]

That's going good.

[Miles]

They also love to remind you about all the dumb you did in college.

[Tyler]

You know, showing up hungover, still drunk.

[Miles]

Like, my buddy saw you at this bar, faced on, you know, doing shots. I'm like, yeah, I did that in college.

[Jared]

That was me.

[Miles]

So did you.

[Ryan]

You got me.

[Miles]

I should tell some of the stories you told me about your childhood. There are some wild stories about those guys. One I. I don't even think I can say on Patreon.

[Tyler]

Really?

[Miles]

Yeah. I'll have to tell you guys, I think I told Jared we're on a road trip back from something. I was telling you about it, about his bachelor party. Do you remember that? Oh, my God.

[Tyler]

Dude.

[Miles]

Just a different breed. Different. Different time back then.

[Jared]

Is there anything you missed about the construction site when you're there?

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, it's mostly the camaraderie, you know?

[Tyler]

Yeah, we don't have that.

[Miles]

No, not like that.

[Ryan]

Yeah, well, I mean, we're not talking.

[Miles]

That much or there's just less talking going on here.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I think also just the. You guys know this about me. I love hammering a bit into the ground. Yeah, until it's not funny anymore. And then you keep doing it until it's funny again. And that's exactly what that place shaped my humor, you know, it's like it's.

[Tyler]

It's infiltrated our lives.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's true. That is actually very true. So shout out to the boys and good. Good to check in with them and get some Dave updates and all that. So if anyone's looking for a job in the Fargo Moorhead area doing some concrete, let me know. My dad's in the hurt bag for it. It's got great crew. They're gonna talk, but you can do will be fine.

[Tyler]

Nine bucks an hour.

[Miles]

No, no, no, no. That's working with Dan.

[Tyler]

I know it's a joke.

[Miles]

I'm trying to sell this, Tyler. I bet you could start at least 20.

[Ryan]

Not many requirements either. Pulse.

[Miles]

Pulse.

[Ryan]

That's it. Okay, Just one.

[Miles]

Just stop.

[Jared]

You get donuts once a quarter.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you get donuts. Yeah, once every project in Miles's neighborhood.

[Ryan]

Lots of filling up.

[Miles]

Not many Lots left, so lots of filling up. Go work there now.

[Tyler]

Get yourself a apple fr.

[Miles]

Yeah, those are good. I didn't get any apple fritters that were out.

[Jared]

Those are the best. Those are the best Cronut.

[Tyler]

Cronuts do.

[Miles]

What is a cronut again?

[Jared]

Croissant Donut.

[Tyler]

Very good.

[Ryan]

Yeah, those are good, too.

[Miles]

I feel like we've talked about this before.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we definitely have.

[Miles]

Our life is a loop. Our life is a loop.

[Jared]

It's like a donut.

[Miles]

It goes around.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's like a cronut.

[Miles]

The.

[Tyler]

There's layers.

[Miles]

Other thing we got coming up is the boys are playing in a Wiffle ball World Series in July.

[Tyler]

Not a the football world series, one.

[Miles]

Of the Wiffle Ball World Series. Every guy with a backyard who starts a wiffle ball league calls it the Wiffle Ball World Series.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, it also just rolls.

[Tyler]

Off the tongue, but I also. I think this is. This is the premiere one, though.

[Miles]

It's. It's legit. They got like a whole setup and a scoreboard and they do, like a national anthem. One year, they had a helicopter fly over during the national anthem. Helicopter rides.

[Tyler]

Oh. I was gonna say, what if that just happened on accident? Helicopter just happened to fly by, like, we did it.

[Miles]

Yeah, that would rule. Yeah. They, like, had someone come and sing the national anthem.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah. Well, next door neighbor probably.

[Miles]

Yeah. I don't know who it was, but. No, just guys that. I know that this is their last year doing it, and so they asked if I wanted to play. And so this is the. The curtain call for this. This Wiffle Ball World Series. So we're gonna play. I put a text out. Tyler was the only one that responded. Jared didn't respond. I mean, you were down bad.

[Jared]

I don't know yet.

[Miles]

That's.

[Jared]

I want to do it, but.

[Miles]

Yeah. Okay.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So I'm gonna be gone that weekend because when you sent me the original text message, I. I said. I said, July 26th. I. I'm busy. July 26th.

[Miles]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Ryan]

I. I pulled the text. I could. I. I will show you. And I. I just realized that 20 minutes ago. I was like, I hope we don't talk about this, because I don't want to hear.

[Miles]

I mean, it's fine. We have plenty of time. No, I know, but a replacement.

[Ryan]

But you want to play in with the World Series? Would love to for sure. If I'm free. What weekend? End of July. I said, I. I have a cons. I got a concert in Fargo July 26th. And then I read the Slack message and that's the day that it is.

[Miles]

Let's make sure that's the date. So I feel like we had the conversation and you said it would unless I just totally. That's why. So.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Figure out.

[Miles]

Yeah. What concert do you have? If this is the Blenders, I swear to God.

[Ryan]

The Blenders are.

[Miles]

I swear to God. If it's Hairball or Tripwire or some other local band.

[Ryan]

It's not a cover band. Blenders is seasonal. I've never been to Hairball or Tripwire. It's Sam Barber.

[Miles]

Who's that? Who the Is that?

[Ryan]

Also, who's that taking a day off? Hey, what are you doing your day off? Why? I don't need it. Why do I tell you? Why don't you go to a concert, Haircut? You guys have never heard of Sam Barber?

[Miles]

Dude, I mean, he sounds like a guy that sings folk.

[Ryan]

12 million monthly listeners. Spotify.

[Miles]

Let me see.

[Tyler]

Not us. I really don't know who this is.

[Jared]

I'm sure he's popular. I just don't know.

[Miles]

He is popular. It's just. I guess if Tyler were to do this run around, I'd be like, well, we can replace Tyler, no problem.

[Ryan]

And I know you can't replace me.

[Miles]

That's why I'm. But right now I can't. I am not good at making contact with a bat.

[Ryan]

I was a pitcher. You gotta remember that.

[Miles]

But you played college baseball, so you. You can swing a bat better than anyone else in this office.

[Ryan]

Yes, I can.

[Miles]

So that's the only reason why I'm now shocked.

[Jared]

Right? We could do both, can't we?

[Miles]

I could have swore you were in.

[Ryan]

I said, I. I would love to play if I'm free. And then I. I said, I just got a concert that July. I have a concert July 26.

[Miles]

What time is the concert? I think we can make them happen.

[Jared]

Yep. Yep. Right as well.

[Tyler]

I'll look it up. What time is the tournament start in the morning?

[Jared]

Oh, we're good.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I don't know if I can swing it. I. I'm not gonna. I don't want to leave any doors open because then if I have to close one later on, then I'm the bad guy because I didn't give you notice.

[Tyler]

You know, Sam Barber starts at 6:30.

[Jared]

Oh, she's not starting till 8.

[Ryan]

I'm not leaving any doors open.

[Tyler]

It could be the openers at 6:30.

[Miles]

Well, I guess I'll just have to call him and tell him that we can't go and disappoint him.

[Ryan]

And again, I understand. I was gonna.

[Miles]

Should have just told me from the get that he didn't want to do it.

[Ryan]

I said I would love to if I'm free.

[Jared]

I think we can do both.

[Miles]

I. It sounds like we can't.

[Ryan]

You're not even committed yet.

[Jared]

I think I'm committed. I'm gonna check first and then commit to it.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And I said I. I love to.

[Miles]

Stop remembering a conversation in person. We.

[Ryan]

We. This is the first time we've ever talked about in person.

[Tyler]

I.

[Ryan]

You not man.

[Miles]

I am. Am I. Am I getting old?

[Ryan]

I just want to see if there's a.

[Tyler]

Let's see.

[Jared]

You probably got a dream about it. Miles.

[Miles]

I don't know what's going on.

[Tyler]

I know.

[Ryan]

Is this okay? So that, that conversation was June 7th, and when I said concert July 26th, I didn't get another text from you until June 11th when you sent me the, the H vac guys phone number.

[Jared]

What's his phone number?

[Miles]

So, well, in the H vac, the reason why I sent you the H vac phone number wasn't even for the H vac is now for. That's for the septic for the pump system in our loading dock.

[Ryan]

Dude, can we air that one out quick? Because I, I saw also I got.

[Miles]

The bill for that.

[Ryan]

I know I haven't even seen the bill, and I know the amount of sitting in the truck smoking cigarettes these guys were doing was unbelievable.

[Jared]

They were here for a while.

[Ryan]

They're here for two days.

[Miles]

Also. I, when I pulled up, he was, like, laying on the ground looking in the pit, and, but he wasn't moving, so it looks like he just was dead laying on the ground.

[Jared]

That's what you need right now.

[Miles]

I mean, for what I'm paying them. They could pay for a funeral for that guy if he did die.

[Jared]

He almost dropped dead seating the bill.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

But again, what this issue boiled down to goes all the way back to the engineers. Again, that's where the blame is being played.

[Jared]

Smoking gun, canary in the coal mine.

[Ryan]

God. When they showed off on day two, I was like, this bill is not.

[Jared]

Going to be pretty.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I'm like, why couldn't they finish on day one?

[Miles]

You got a new building, and all you do is do repairs on it.

[Tyler]

Mm.

[Miles]

So, yeah, I mean, that's a little bit of a kick to the nuts. That information you just gave me information.

[Ryan]

Was three weeks ago.

[Miles]

I mean, I got a lot of text messages. No, I, I, I believe this is on Me.

[Tyler]

There's. Okay, so there's at least one opening act.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

He's not. He's. I can tell by the energy coming off of him he would rather be dead in our pit for the pump like the H Vac guy was, than come to the Wiffle Ball. It's not even a question.

[Ryan]

I've tried to make like. Like scenarios like this where I got multiple things in multiple locations and I've committed to one and I want to commit to another, but I don't know if I. I've tried to sort like that out, and it just gives me a brain aneurysm.

[Tyler]

We can. An alternate so you can play the first couple games with us.

[Jared]

You get gone by, like, noonish or two.

[Ryan]

Stop. If you're gone, you're not even committed yet.

[Jared]

I don't know yet.

[Tyler]

You're. You leave at your home. By one, you're showered and ready to rock. By two, you got five and a half hours to kill.

[Miles]

He's dead to us. He doesn't exist. And now we know how all of his teammates, you know, in college, fell. They just leave him out to dry.

[Tyler]

I was just really excited to see Ryan come out of the bullpen to fireman.

[Miles]

That's true. It's true.

[Tyler]

That's really the only reason I signed up, so I'm probably out, too.

[Miles]

It's fine. I'll just do it myself. I do everything else at this company.

[Ryan]

God, I knew I should.

[Tyler]

I just wanted to see Ryan whip Wiffle Balls really fast.

[Miles]

It just would have been. It would have been the Dream Team. But, you know, we just stuck Jared out in right field, Tyler on first base, me got the rest of the field and Ryan was the pitcher. It was going to be. It was gonna be the Dream Team. That would parallel the 97 or the 98 dream team.

[Ryan]

How many guys?

[Miles]

94. Which?

[Ryan]

96.

[Miles]

92. 92. Dream team. What? A parallel.

[Tyler]

The 90s dream team.

[Ryan]

How many guys they have on a field for this thing?

[Miles]

Four.

[Tyler]

Yeah, how does. So you got an outfielder, an infielder, a pitcher and a catcher.

[Miles]

There's no catcher.

[Tyler]

What are you doing for plays at home? Picture. Go. Covers home or what?

[Miles]

Yeah, the picture.

[Jared]

It's like a net.

[Ryan]

I know all the rotations. I can write it down for you guys.

[Miles]

No, no, you're out. You're done. You're done.

[Tyler]

So now we gotta recruit.

[Miles]

So I hope. I hope you have fun at Sam Burns's concert. What's his name?

[Jared]

Sam Hunt.

[Miles]

Sam Hunt. You going to a Sam Hunt concert?

[Ryan]

You know his name because you.

[Miles]

No, I actually don't think it.

[Ryan]

About what? You should switch Barber.

[Miles]

No, I actually didn't remember it was Barber.

[Ryan]

Again, the text.

[Miles]

No, it'll be.

[Ryan]

It'll be love to play if I'm free.

[Tyler]

You know what we should do? We should just, like, put up a jersey in our dugout and act like Ryan's dead. Like it's a memorial jersey.

[Miles]

He is dead to me.

[Jared]

Perfect.

[Tyler]

We'll just hang his jersey up. It'll say T shirt guy, number 69. And we'll just. We'll. We'll hang it up.

[Jared]

That'd be tight.

[Tyler]

We'll bring it out with us to do the coin toss.

[Miles]

No, I actually just got word, actually, that people are gonna be burning his jersey at the event. I just weirdly got a text that said that it's fine. I'll just have to put together a renegade crew now.

[Ryan]

Only the Legends get their jersey burned.

[Miles]

I gotta find another. I'll find a better baseball player.

[Jared]

Kind of like the movie Replacements.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Keanu Reeves.

[Miles]

I'll call up.

[Tyler]

There had to been some really good baseball players from Mayville. They're like the best.

[Miles]

I'll call some Redhawks players.

[Jared]

Yeah, on a Saturday.

[Miles]

Maybe I'll call up some Savannah Bananas, get them over there.

[Jared]

It's a milk bed.

[Miles]

Yeah, I'll find off. I'll call up one of your college buddies so that. I guess that segment's shot. Anyways.

[Tyler]

It'll be a good time.

[Jared]

It'll be fun.

[Ryan]

You're not even committed yet.

[Jared]

I'll say it'll be fun, regardless.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's gonna suck.

[Ryan]

It will be fun.

[Miles]

I'm getting Jake on our team.

[Tyler]

Yeah, and we have to listen to some fake baseball knowledge the whole time.

[Miles]

The whole time.

[Jared]

Wiffle ball is invented 10 years ago.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Did you know that Barry Bonds was part of the Wiffle ball invention?

[Jared]

Well, he inspired it.

[Tyler]

Yeah, well, maybe not Barry Bonds. So it's actually not called baseball because of the bases. It's because it was invented on a military base also.

[Miles]

Yeah, very me of me to plan that far and ahead for something at least a couple months. Get the information from Ryan and just not just disregard it and not internalize it. So. Well, I guess that's that again.

[Ryan]

I would have loved to play if I was free.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you're free in the morning.

[Ryan]

I'm not leaving any doors open because I've again, I've done like this and it. Brain aneurysm.

[Jared]

But you, you've learned so much through that.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I feel like you're good.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And I've learned I can't do it.

[Miles]

So I. I don't understand what you can't do. Is it the. Is it the man? It's doing it.

[Ryan]

It's. No, no, it's legit logistically, because we're talking like probably 45 minute drive from here. I mean, what if we make it the championship? There's the championships later in the day.

[Tyler]

How many? This is literally the last year of the Wiffle Ball World Series. Sam Barber is going to come back.

[Jared]

That's a great point, though.

[Miles]

I just wish I knew a Sam Barber song.

[Jared]

You probably do.

[Miles]

I probably do, but I don't know his name.

[Ryan]

You don't know him.

[Tyler]

I looked at this venue is just like in a random open field.

[Ryan]

No, it's. It's a. No. Steve Aoki played there a couple years ago.

[Tyler]

It's called the Fargo.

[Miles]

Where is it?

[Tyler]

At Fargo Festival Field, which I've never heard of.

[Ryan]

Behind the brewery. Old brewery.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Sounds like a good spot where I could get my own Wiffle ball game going.

[Jared]

I'd be a kick to the house.

[Miles]

I wouldn't be surprised.

[Tyler]

I mean, he's got some songs with a shitload of listens, so it's probably.

[Miles]

That Gen Z music that Ryan's so plugged into. Anyways. Well, we should take a break. You got a segment, A new segment. Jared, what is it?

[Jared]

What Miles hates and we have to find out if you still hate it or not.

[Miles]

Okay, it's what kind of test do they call that?

[Ryan]

Litmus?

[Jared]

No, it's a test personality.

[Miles]

It's have I flip flopped or have.

[Tyler]

I not situation flopped or not.

[Miles]

All right, take a break. All right, Jared, you got. You got it going now with the 16 things that I used to used slash, still hate. How far does this go back?

[Jared]

I think it was. I think I got one from episode like 76. Okay, I didn't mark which episode these are, but.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, but 76, and we're on episode one 332.

[Ryan]

How did you find these? Did you just search hate?

[Jared]

So I would go on YouTube, go to the transcript, and then type in hate, and then I would look through it. Miles. If Miles hated anything in that episode, then sure. So this has been compiled over like the last two, three months.

[Ryan]

Jesus.

[Jared]

Two tree.

[Miles]

All right, well, let's start it out.

[Jared]

All right, Miles, you hate the Sopranos intro?

[Miles]

Yeah, I'm on board with that. I'm. I'm still kind of hate that.

[Tyler]

It's entirely Too long.

[Miles]

Well, but it's just. There's no, there's no oomph to it. I don't know. There's just no, there's nothing that gets me hard.

[Tyler]

I, I agree. I, I don't hate it, but it's just like, I, I'm skipping it every time.

[Miles]

That's like a, A conversation for another podcast is the best and worst intros to shows. Are you guys in or out on Ted Lasso's intro, then?

[Jared]

Yeah, that's good.

[Tyler]

Yeah, though. That's it in the stands.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I don't even know if I remember the intro. I'm a big white lotus intro guy.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

They're. They're good.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, Game of Thrones topic.

[Tyler]

Game of Thrones set the standard, and now and then, like, 50 other shows copied it.

[Jared]

I think Westworld had a good one.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

I also really liked Righteous Gemstones intro.

[Miles]

Sure.

[Jared]

Good.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, that one. I, I, that was great.

[Tyler]

Breaking Bad, I think, was like, the first short intro.

[Ryan]

I'm trying to think.

[Miles]

I, I think I remember Prison Break having a good one. I don't remember Prison Break. Last week on pr.

[Tyler]

I mean, SVU is one of the most iconic TV intros ever.

[Miles]

Oh, no, that's csi.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Miami.

[Tyler]

Yes.

[Miles]

For you. Remind me of that one.

[Tyler]

They just, like, do the monologue about, like, oh, yeah, Special crimes.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah. Law and Order.

[Ryan]

Cops has a good intro.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, Cops is great.

[Ryan]

Cops. I mean, that's iconic.

[Miles]

What you gotta do.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I, I think I'm still out on the Sopranos theme song.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Jared]

Miles, you hate the breathiness of Garth Brooks's voice.

[Miles]

I still agree. It's like, I like. It's the same. Like, I like John Mayer as well, but sometimes his lyrics just get a little breathy for me that I. You can't listen to too many John Mayer songs in a row.

[Tyler]

I've never.

[Ryan]

Give me an example. Like, what, what you mean by breathy and your body.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

You. I think you just hate breathy voices, period. Because now that we're talking about this, I've heard you complain about a singer, like, I'll recommend someone, but don't like them too breathy.

[Miles]

It's just.

[Ryan]

I've never heard of that before.

[Miles]

Too whimsical and breathy. Just. I like power, you know, like a rock. Yeah. And then you also go like, Aerosmith. I hate that you could smell his.

[Ryan]

Breaths through your Spotify app, is what you're saying.

[Miles]

That's how they end every lyric. Aerosmith and I don't want to say.

[Jared]

Might just be that song, though.

[Tyler]

It definitely is.

[Miles]

Yeah, it is. But that's irritates me to no end. And once you hear it, you can't unhear it. Yeah, just a little too breathy at times. Dom Mayer is definitely more breathy than Garth.

[Tyler]

I don't feel like Garth is that breathy.

[Miles]

Yeah, I'd have to. I'd have to go listen to some gar songs to know which ones I for sure was talking about.

[Jared]

Mm.

[Ryan]

Fucking girth.

[Jared]

Brooks Miles. You hate the line of work of public safety officers at colleges.

[Miles]

What do they do?

[Jared]

What are they, eagles? No authority whatsoever. They're fun haters.

[Miles]

They like. They have. They can't do anything right.

[Tyler]

They can ride bike on the rankings. Who's. Who has more. More authority, A mall cop or a public safety officer?

[Miles]

I don't know enough about mall cops, but I think a mall cop is a cop still though, right?

[Tyler]

I don't know.

[Ryan]

No, I don't think so. I listen to a podcast.

[Miles]

They're just security.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I think mall cops can do more. Especially at, like, the liberal public colleges. You can't do anything to stop anyone from doing anything. I feel like.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you won't be able to, like, restrain anybody. I think you just have to call law enforcement and hopefully you can keep eyes on them.

[Jared]

Keep that phone charged.

[Tyler]

Yeah, like pepper spray on them or something. Or if something's actually violent.

[Miles]

Yeah, I just love.

[Jared]

Stop that.

[Miles]

I just. Yeah, I just.

[Ryan]

Hey, please quit.

[Jared]

Freeze.

[Tyler]

I would.

[Miles]

I said freeze.

[Tyler]

I would feel much more comfortable if you froze.

[Ryan]

I. Yeah, Simon says freeze.

[Miles]

And they always just walk around in their dumb fucking polos and black cargo pants just looking like a dweeb. I mean, is it a stepping stone? To what?

[Tyler]

I don't know. It could be a good resume builder.

[Miles]

Yeah, but are they even college kids? Are they out of college kids?

[Tyler]

I think they're out of college. Yeah. They're a completely separate entity.

[Ryan]

They're not like upperclassmen or anything.

[Tyler]

It's for sure not like a work study.

[Miles]

That is wild to me.

[Tyler]

And that's like. There's people like that are going to school for criminal justice can do that as their works, but I doubt it.

[Jared]

That'd be a good work study.

[Miles]

We just used to call them Pub Safe. Pub Safe is just kid squealing up on his. Do they give out track bike?

[Ryan]

They go out parking tickets too?

[Tyler]

Yeah, they give out parking tickets. And they're the ones like they give you. So the. The. I went to Concordia for your they were the ones that would give out intervis. So like if there were boys in the girls dorms, you'd get slapped with a hundred dollar fine. They're the ones handing those out.

[Ryan]

Really? Well, they at least saw you finish before they came in.

[Tyler]

I didn't have any problems.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we know it.

[Tyler]

Tyler.

[Jared]

Yes.

[Miles]

Three kids.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I'm saying because it's quick.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I know, I know. Huh. Pub safes. Intervals.

[Jared]

Did you have a bad experience with hub safe or is this general hate?

[Ryan]

I.

[Miles]

It's, it's not even necessarily. Yes, I hate it. But it's more just like. What the. Like stop taking this so seriously. You have no power.

[Jared]

Stuff it.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you could, you could, you could talk back to a pub safe officer too. And like. And with no repercussions.

[Miles]

Correct. What are they going to do?

[Jared]

Call your dad?

[Miles]

They're going to call your professor, tell you to give you a worse grade.

[Ryan]

Psych. Already got a D in this class.

[Miles]

I already flunked that class. So try give me a lower F.

[Ryan]

What are you gonna give me an F? Minus, Right.

[Jared]

Of you. Miles. You hate first looks at weddings.

[Miles]

Just, just take me out back and end it.

[Ryan]

Yeah, but you're usually have you see. Well, I suppose you used to video weddings so you've seen quite a bit first. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense.

[Tyler]

Did you do one?

[Miles]

Tough, tough. Because it's like you, if you're, you have to give some reaction because they're like filming it and expecting this grand thing so then it ends up feeling inauthentic. I don't know. It's just.

[Ryan]

I, I'm with you.

[Miles]

It's just on the, the first. I, I, I'm trying to find the right words.

[Tyler]

I remember us having this conversation on the pod way back in the day. My stance is still the same. I don't mind the first look when it's actually the bride there. I hate it when they turn around. It's the groomsmen or something. In a wedding dress.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Jokey ones.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah. It's just like what are we doing?

[Ryan]

Yeah. It's been overplayed.

[Miles]

Well, I had to film some first looks with dads, which I don't know if you guys know anything about dads. They don't give a.

[Ryan]

I think.

[Miles]

Yeah. And like I get. It's like, oh, you want to be like, wow, you look so pretty and this is amazing. Whatever. But why, why does it have to be filmed? I, I don't know. I know. It's actually hard for me to put into words Why? I think it's dumb.

[Tyler]

See, I like the sentimental stuff. I. I don't like the jokey ones. I like the ones with dads. I like the ones. I like the one that I had to do.

[Miles]

I. I think the thing that irks me most. Get his genuine reaction when she shows up to walk down the aisle for the first time. Because then it's not. Yes, it's like, oh, my God, she looks so beautiful. But it's also like, I'm about to get married. Emotion as well. And it ends up being real emotions. But when you're just three hours before the wedding in a room by yourselves and then there's photo, like three photographers doing it, it's just like, what. What are we doing?

[Tyler]

It's too inconvenient to actually keep the bride and groom separate that long.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Now, the wedding that I officiated last year, the first look was when she walked down the aisle.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I think it's much better.

[Miles]

Much better. But also like, what's. Why is it. It's just.

[Tyler]

I don't know.

[Miles]

Just didn't seem that special to me. Seemed that. That big of a deal.

[Tyler]

I think Miles just hates emotions.

[Jared]

You didn't say that.

[Miles]

I don't have that written, so that was pretty. I think I'm quite an emotional guy.

[Tyler]

Pre episode 70 said that.

[Jared]

Yeah, 75. Had to do the math. Miles, you hate Wednesdays because of the hump day ad.

[Miles]

Now we've. We've distanced ourselves from the hump day ad big time. Quite a bit. It's been a long time. I feel like since I've heard someone go hump day, we can, we can bring it. We spent a long time and so I think I could maybe put Wednesdays to rest. I don't hate them as much.

[Tyler]

We can bring it back for you.

[Miles]

We don't have to. We don't have to. But yeah, that was, that was a terrible time to be a human. When the hump day ad was going around.

[Ryan]

I think the only time I've used hump day recently was like, if you're trying to make small talk with somebody you don't really know and it happens to be Wednesday. Ah, humped. How's the hump day going?

[Miles]

Yeah, that's way better though, than when everyone's like, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

It's just.

[Tyler]

It was.

[Ryan]

Wasn't necessary.

[Tyler]

Is this, Is it a Mandela effect or did that commercial invent the term hump day?

[Miles]

No, they did not invent it. Played into the already existing. Because it was a camel Okay, I believe.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

So, yeah, I think. I think I can rescind that hate. It's been enough time. People aren't doing it anymore.

[Tyler]

Happy hump day.

[Jared]

Miles, you hate seeing Nissan cubes with the curved rear glass.

[Miles]

Seemed like an extra expense that they didn't need to do to curve the glass. Was someone buying that car? Because I actually think it looks worse than if you just had a metal bar there on the corner rather than the curved glass. It makes me want to buy a cube less that they went through the extra work to curve the glass. So, yeah, I'm still on board with that one.

[Jared]

Miles, you. You hate corn mazes, but you would prefer if it's haunted.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, I. I'm not seeking out a corn maze.

[Ryan]

Haunted or not, he ain't seeking it out.

[Miles]

Yeah, haunted makes it better. I would still agree with me today with chicks, though. Yeah.

[Ryan]

In. In middle. Like, middle you gotta be.

[Miles]

Yeah, you gotta be high school with your high school girlfriend and, you know, bunch of chicks.

[Tyler]

Like, not a single other dude. Just chicks.

[Miles]

You can't be caught in a corn maze with dudes.

[Ryan]

With the way. Yeah. Without chicks.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I just don't see the thrill because like, corn mazes, they're so. So long.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

But you know what I mean?

[Tyler]

Like, I don't know where I'm supposed.

[Miles]

To go to solve a maze on a piece of paper is fun because it all just happens right here.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You could get an ocular pad down to the full maze.

[Ryan]

Well, then you got. Yeah. People jumping.

[Miles]

Like, at least saws and at least like, fun houses. It's like, there's like mirrors and, you know, other like that. But if you're just walking through a field, then you're like. You're just like, oh, the do I get out of here? How the do I get out of here? Like, what's the fun in that?

[Tyler]

Help and get some guy named Daryl with a chainsaw with no chain on it.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

I think that was the thing I was bitching about. It's like, if you're gonna do a haunted corn maze, let's put some real steaks on. Yeah.

[Ryan]

At least make me outrun you.

[Miles]

At least like, clip my calf with a real chainsaw.

[Tyler]

What's that guy like, the.

[Ryan]

You.

[Tyler]

You fucking Nathan Fielder. Nathan, for you did the haunted house experiment. Did you see that one? So he does this fake haunted house where he's like, it's the scariest experience you'll ever have or your money back guaranteed. And he. This couple comes In. And then, like, halfway through the maze, they take the couple out. It's like, hey, you were actually exposed to an extremely contagious virus. And they, like, separate the husband and wife. The wife has to go into quarantine. The husband starts freaking the fuck out. He's like, no, you can't fucking take her. You cannot take her. And they, like, wrap her in a Hazmat suit, put her in an ambulance. And he's like, spazzing and spazzing. And then finally the ambulance pulls away. He's like, all right, thank you for coming to Nathan's Haunted House. Please leave us five stars on Google. And this guy's having a full ass meltdown.

[Miles]

Did he think it was funny or no?

[Tyler]

No.

[Miles]

That is wild. Okay. See, I'm so on board.

[Jared]

You hate taking the stairs at hotels.

[Tyler]

Just.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, I'll live in a cardboard box if I. If I ever live in an apartment again, I'll live in a cardboard box before I live in an apartment without an elevator.

[Ryan]

Even if you're just on the second floor.

[Miles]

The only place I am glad to take the stairs is the hotel where we go pheasant hunting. Sure. There's just not a. Yeah, I wouldn't trust the elevator in that place even if it had an elevator.

[Ryan]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, but, yeah, that's the worst.

[Jared]

I mean, you hate paper tickets at movie theaters and you hate the glass where the ticket operator sits behind.

[Tyler]

Movie theaters don't do that anymore.

[Miles]

Well, this is old, Tyler. Yeah, this is old days, but also pretty dumb. What, were people gonna, like, like, jump, like, theater operator? You could jump a theater operator to go see Wicked for free. You know, you gotta go watch the Barbie movie for free by holding them at gunpoint.

[Jared]

A lot of time.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

It's so dumb. They got the speaker, too.

[Ryan]

Do they still have that?

[Tyler]

No. No.

[Ryan]

Okay. All right.

[Miles]

Well, now everything's pretty much on your phone.

[Tyler]

Yeah, they give kiosks or you just go to, like, a normal reception desk.

[Jared]

Miles, you hate Jimmy Johnson in the NASCAR Heat 5 game because he's always bumping into you.

[Miles]

I have no evidence to say I don't hate that, so. I'll say I still hate it. It's been a long time since I played NASCAR Heat 5, but.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I don't think we ever need to bring it back either.

[Ryan]

No, no, we got that wheel on. We're trying to sell that wheel, actually.

[Tyler]

Anyone?

[Ryan]

We're gonna put it to rest. We're gonna put it to rest for good. Once that wheel's Gone.

[Tyler]

We use the wheel, like five times.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you hated the wheel. So touchy.

[Jared]

Miles, you hate face paint in general. It's kind of an ick for you.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Even on, like, kids in general.

[Miles]

Well, I'm not worrying about getting the ick from children, so I would say no. I think face paint for kids is fine.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

But yeah, if you're an adult and you got face paint on, like, just even like for Halloween, just painting your face a different thing. I don't know. Just. I don't like it. What about. I don't think I could sit through a blue man group show. They're 2 cuz of it.

[Tyler]

Wait, that's face paint.

[Ryan]

What about the guys at sporting events who paint their body?

[Jared]

That rules.

[Miles]

No, well, body, yeah, body's better. Sure, body's better. I just am just. I just never want to paint my face.

[Ryan]

What? What if you're going out hunting and like. Yeah, like everyone at your deer camp is, like, putting face paint on?

[Tyler]

I. I just did that. We war painted up for the first day of bear hunting.

[Miles]

War paint is not face pain. It's war pain. If you're going to war. That's badass. That's cool. I'm on board for hunting.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. Or guerrilla warfare.

[Tyler]

Guerrilla warfare hunting or children at the circus.

[Miles]

Those are the three time you should be putting face paint on as an adult.

[Jared]

What about I black in football?

[Miles]

I'm an eye black guy. Okay. I black those on face paint.

[Ryan]

Real. I black. Or the strips.

[Miles]

Real strips suck. Strips can suck my dick.

[Tyler]

They last about half a quarter.

[Miles]

Just tell me you can't commit to something more than using the strips.

[Tyler]

There's a.

[Miles]

Tell me that you aren't a team guy more than using eye black strips. It's like, oh, I just can't commit to my band of brothers. So I'm just gonna put this sticker on my face.

[Jared]

That's a Wilson auto. Yeah.

[Ryan]

This is John 3, 6.

[Miles]

Let's say Philippians 4:13.

[Ryan]

I was never a strip guy either. I would make that clear.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

I'm a. I'm a meat and potatoes. Just two lines across the face. All the crisscrosses. The one eye with the SME here. The ones where they go across the eye like, what are we doing, dude?

[Tyler]

Too much. There's a. So my kid started T ball this summer. There's a kid on his T ball team. These are five year olds. Who does the full triangle eye black with the crosses etched out in them.

[Miles]

But he's a kid. He can do face paint.

[Tyler]

He's got the big elbow pad and like, I can't talk because he's clearly the best one on the team. He's actually really good.

[Ryan]

Okay. For a five year old, that's allowed.

[Tyler]

But it's like, it's a lot.

[Miles]

What's he got an elbow brace on for?

[Tyler]

Because it looks sick. It's like one of the guard ones.

[Miles]

That he's quite literally not even getting a ball thrown out.

[Ryan]

No, what I mean is T ball. I mean that.

[Tyler]

Yeah, there's no pitching.

[Ryan]

He could have Lopper's elbow, though.

[Miles]

Good. Don't hate on Loppers.

[Tyler]

I don't.

[Ryan]

This is.

[Tyler]

I would. If it was an elbow brace, I'd be down. But it's just a guard.

[Ryan]

Maybe he hit his funny bone earlier in the day or something too. And still.

[Miles]

Well, it's because he goes to the batting cages and he wears it in there and then he's like, well, it's just part of my routine.

[Tyler]

It's paying off for the kid. He's good. It would be really unfortunate for him if he sucked and still dressed up.

[Jared]

Miles, you hate the voice trivia people use.

[Miles]

I, I think I've. Yeah, I said that multiple.

[Tyler]

That was a. That's a recent one.

[Miles]

Miles. What? Formerly on the podcast, you betcha radio. Did Miles say that he hated. Yeah.

[Jared]

Miles, you hate Halloween. Miles.

[Ryan]

Moving on, next.

[Miles]

The face paint, hence the corn mazes.

[Tyler]

You know, it's just neighbors with better candy.

[Jared]

Yeah, Miles, you hate that. You know how many different varieties of pop Tarts there are?

[Ryan]

How many are there?

[Miles]

Did I like a specific number or I just was listing.

[Jared]

You listed off like five of them.

[Miles]

S' mores. Strawberry, hot fudge sundae, brown sugar, blueberry.

[Ryan]

Well, dude, there's 24 different varieties.

[Miles]

Did I say s' mores?

[Tyler]

Yep. Cookies and cream.

[Miles]

I don't think I said s' mores just now.

[Tyler]

That was the first one.

[Jared]

Yeah, you did.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you did.

[Miles]

S' mores bangers.

[Tyler]

There's the wild Berry purple with the blue stripe.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Tyler]

We got cookies and cream.

[Jared]

Spider man, two Pop Tarts.

[Tyler]

Cookie dough. Those don't have frosting.

[Miles]

Yeah. So I, I, I mean, should I know five?

[Jared]

I don't know if you hate it anymore.

[Miles]

Yeah, I don't, I don't think I hate that.

[Ryan]

Dude, they have a snickerdoodle Pop Tart.

[Miles]

Oh, he's back.

[Tyler]

We get, get this man a snickerdoodle Pop tart Blizzard asap.

[Ryan]

There's a snicker duty. Pop Tart Tart that looks actually kind of fire.

[Miles]

Yeah, I don't hate that one as much anymore.

[Ryan]

And there's a sugar cookie pop tart, so.

[Jared]

Last one. You hate buying presents, Jeff Bezos. Couldn't have been better for you during Christmas time.

[Miles]

Because I ordered Amazon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

It comes wrapped and everything.

[Ryan]

Thing.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that I do the present. I just. I'm not a presence guy. I'm bad at it.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

I'm bad at thinking of getting a present.

[Ryan]

You know, like, it's just not top of mind.

[Miles]

No. And I. It's also. But I. I'm not. I'm not a hypocrite in the sense where I like getting gifts. I actually would prefer that people don't get me gifts. So it's a. It's a ying and yang situation. I. I think that presence should be abolished from the world. We just don't need Scrooge. Yeah. Not in a bad sense. It's just, you know, there's so many better things to life than things, Jared, so.

[Jared]

Gotcha.

[Ryan]

Well, they do call it. Yeah. They call it the present because it's.

[Miles]

A gift that should be the only present that we need. But no, I think love languages, presence are the lowest on my thing. Any you guys. Presents, guys.

[Tyler]

I am.

[Ryan]

Tyler's a giver.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Now if I do get a gift, you know, I am grateful for it, but I will not be slighted at all if someone doesn't give me a gift. You know, it's more so that I.

[Tyler]

Hope I get Miles for Secret Santa next year.

[Miles]

We doing Secret Santa next.

[Ryan]

We're doing next year. Are we doing it this year?

[Jared]

We'll do it next year.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we'll do it year and a half from now.

[Jared]

It's too much. Yeah. It's not enough time for.

[Ryan]

You're more of a homemade gift guy, though.

[Tyler]

A little bit. It. It. If homemade is the. The move for that person, then yeah, like. Like grandma. Anything homemade crushes with her.

[Ryan]

But yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's like. Yeah, it's. If you guys for didn't get me a gift of my birthday, doesn't matter. But like, if a guy halfway commits to a wiffle ball game and then backs out, you know, like, that affects me way more.

[Ryan]

It was full right off the bat.

[Miles]

So that was all things that I hate.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

So I think there was only two. Right. That I am.

[Tyler]

You've reversed on Hump Day and pop Tarts, I think.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Pretty minor stuff to reverse on. I don't know about you guys. Yeah, Kind of like that segment.

[Ryan]

That was a good one.

[Tyler]

We'll do it again in 300 episodes.

[Miles]

I feel like I say hate a lot less. Maybe that's not accurate, but anything like, I genuinely have a more positive sentiment around the world these days.

[Tyler]

Is there anything that you would like to add to the list that we can bring up at a later date so Jared can mark this episode and come right back here?

[Jared]

Thank you, Tyler.

[Miles]

Yeah. Leaving it for future miles. Leaving notes with Jared for future miles.

[Ryan]

You hate slow greens.

[Miles]

Oh, I.

[Ryan]

You hate slow greens.

[Jared]

Diversion.

[Miles]

I hate the diversion in Fargo. I hate slow greens.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

I mean, just tell me. You can't putt that, you know, if you like slow greens, just. Just tell me. You suck at putting. You know, you don't have to, like, disguise it by being like, I love small, slow greens. It's like, no, you are ass at putting. So that really grinds my gears. Thanks for reminding me of that.

[Jared]

It's like saying I'm not a good test taker.

[Miles]

Yeah. Come on.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Figure it out.

[Jared]

Oh, you hate, like.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

When you go to restaurants and you have to do everything.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

Oh, God.

[Ryan]

Korean bbq.

[Tyler]

That noise.

[Miles]

The fact that we are paying more in today's society in doing more work for whatever we're receiving is. It will forever be shocking.

[Tyler]

They. They upcharge you to cook your own food. That's why I'm going out. So you cook for me.

[Miles]

Correct. They disguise it in all you can eat. Well, it turns out you can only eat so much. So just give me a normal meal. That's about what I. E. And, like.

[Tyler]

How about you cook it for me? Because that's what I thought the bill was for.

[Miles]

It's like, it's all you can eat, but if you order stuff and you don't eat it, we're gonna charge you.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And you only have. You can't sit here for three hours. You have to leave after an hour and a half. So, actually, yeah, it's about one meal is all you can eat.

[Tyler]

Also, good luck figuring out how to cook this correctly on your first try. So you completely waste that and fill up on your. Your improperly cooked meal.

[Miles]

And the person explaining to you how to work all the equipment just goes, yes, there's the thing. And then you put it on the thing. And then. Yeah, you just, like, cook it.

[Jared]

It's like a foreman construction box.

[Miles]

Yeah. And you're like, okay, well, how do I turn it on? Is it on? Can I touch it? Is it. Can I not? Okay. So it's. On what level should I put it on? You know, can you give me some direction about how long I should cook this stuff? You know, they should.

[Ryan]

They should be taking the microwave approach. They should have a button that, you know, if you're having ramen with beef tips in it, you should be able to hit ramen. You should be able to have beef tips. Boom. Cooks it itself.

[Tyler]

I think you could just.

[Ryan]

It's still more work.

[Tyler]

Tell the person that I want ramen with beef tips, and then they cook it and bring it to me.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's like, oh, you gave me chicken to cook on this grill. Did you bring me a meat thermometer? Am I gonna cook it all the way through? Yeah. The food price off of fear of getting salmonella. I'm gonna overcook it and it's gonna taste bad. So thanks for upcharging me for that.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And yeah, you pay more to do more for shittier tasting food, essentially. It's kind of a weird model, actually. Very weird.

[Tyler]

It's horseshit.

[Jared]

Supposed to.

[Miles]

No, no, no, no, no, guys. It's an experience.

[Jared]

Ah.

[Miles]

That's maybe the worst thing that millennials have done for the world is spent a bunch of money on and. And prioritize the concept of going and paying extra for experiences. Not like traveling to Cape Cod and doing something cool, like, not that experience. I mean, like, let's rent out a full kitchen and cook all of our own food just like we would at our house and pay 500 for it. Like, that kind of experience.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That's the worst thing millennials have done for the world, and I hate it.

[Ryan]

Would you be in for, like, a wine tasting experience? I got a. I got a Galaxy.

[Miles]

No.

[Ryan]

You'Re probably. Yeah, I think you're busy that day. Maybe a concert?

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's a Sam Barber concert.

[Miles]

You see how easy that is to commit or not commit right away so then you don't have to follow up and get all lost in translation.

[Ryan]

Is there a live stream? I can probably. A live stream I could. I could. I could be commenting on.

[Miles]

You're done.

[Tyler]

Okay?

[Miles]

You're done.

[Jared]

Is there a live stream of the concert you're going to?

[Ryan]

Probably not, no.

[Miles]

Yeah, No, I mean, who's got to.

[Tyler]

Tune in to Sam Burns doesn't start till midnight.

[Miles]

What's his name? Sam Benedict.

[Jared]

Sam Adams.

[Miles]

Sam Barack. What's his name?

[Jared]

Darnold.

[Miles]

I'll have to. I'll have to look him up. What's his name again?

[Ryan]

Sam Barber.

[Miles]

Sam Barber. All right, I'll look him up.

[Jared]

I remember.

[Ryan]

He's good. Yeah, real good.

[Miles]

We got anything else, Jared?

[Jared]

One fun fact. The earliest reference, earliest known reference to a vending machine is in the work of hero of Alexandria, an engineer in Mexico. Mathematician. His machine accepted a coin and then dispensed holy water. When the coin was deposited, it fell upon a pan attached to a lever. The lever opened a valve which let some water flow out. The pan continued to. To tilt with the weight of the coin until it fell off, at which point the counterweight snapped the lever up and turned off the valve.

[Tyler]

Very clever.

[Miles]

What a racket. He's just selling. He's just selling water.

[Jared]

Holy water.

[Miles]

How do they know it's holy water, though?

[Tyler]

You know, is he a priest? Did he bless it?

[Miles]

Like, what was stopping this guy from scamming everyone? Just giving out regular water?

[Tyler]

I don't know. Fear of God.

[Miles]

Does it just, like, go into your hands or.

[Jared]

Let's try to look for photos of it. I couldn't really find anything.

[Miles]

First vending machine. That was holy water.

[Ryan]

What made you, like, what.

[Miles]

How do we get here?

[Ryan]

How do we get here? This is my. Like, where did you find this? What was the inspiration behind this fun fact?

[Jared]

I think I was just looking on Reddit. I find them and then I just find a decent one.

[Ryan]

R slash, fun fact.

[Jared]

No.

[Miles]

Oh, I got ways on Reddit.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

He's not revealing his sources.

[Tyler]

Smart, Jared. Can't give those up. You're like. You're the Adam Schefter of fun facts. Yeah.

[Jared]

Insider. A fun.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Just curious. Yeah. Out of left field. Left Wiffle ball field.

[Jared]

Well, I'm playing right field, apparently.

[Miles]

Well, that's just because I know a bunch of people playing are lefty hitters. So we need you out right field. What do you think the over under is on how many grounders I'm going to hit? A lot. It's going to be a lot of me showing off my speed, trying to beat him out at first.

[Tyler]

We're not stopping at one one time. We're going two. Every single at bat.

[Miles]

Two.

[Tyler]

Two. I don't care.

[Ryan]

There's only four guys. There's going to be a B. There's got to be a base open somewhere.

[Tyler]

Yeah, well, you. We're committing. I'm going to. I'm not.

[Miles]

Might have to light up lefty box, do a drag bunt.

[Tyler]

In backyard. Wiffle ball.

[Miles]

I might do a bit and just make my pre. Like when I step into the box routine really long.

[Ryan]

They might have a Pit stop.

[Miles]

Yeah, we just gotta get in. We. I'm. I think I'm going mental warfare. You know, just start planting the seeds.

[Ryan]

You gotta get a. Yeah. Elbow guard, wrist guard. I do have a. I think I have an old fighting necklace you can wear.

[Miles]

I would like to fighten up.

[Tyler]

Hell yeah.

[Ryan]

So just keep. Just to keep your balance.

[Jared]

Get some red on that drag.

[Ryan]

Drag. Bunt.

[Miles]

I'm gonna do some red, man.

[Tyler]

Show up in baseball pants, long socks.

[Miles]

I'm gonna wear cleats.

[Tyler]

I was actually gonna ask that. Like, what?

[Miles]

I think everyone's just barefoot.

[Tyler]

Really? Okay.

[Ryan]

You could run way faster barefoot because.

[Tyler]

I was just gonna wear my football cleats. That's what I wore.

[Miles]

So funny.

[Tyler]

Well, that's what I wore for slow pitch softball.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. I gotta get some double bubble red man.

[Ryan]

Some Copenhagen, some blc. Big league chew.

[Jared]

Eye black.

[Tyler]

I'll bring my.

[Miles]

There will be no eye black.

[Tyler]

I'll bring my face camo. So then it counts because we're hunting Danny.

[Miles]

We have to come up with a team name, too.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

I don't got anything.

[Tyler]

Yeah, me either.

[Miles]

We got time. We don't need to put ourselves in the spot. I am looking to rob a home run, though. Be nice.

[Ryan]

That'd be sick. Yeah.

[Miles]

Do my best Tori Hunter impression.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Climb the wall. Maybe climb a tree.

[Miles]

Also, don't tell anyone this, but I think if I'm pitching, I'm gonna have some pine tar on my fingers.

[Ryan]

I would. Yeah. Some pt.

[Tyler]

Just put it right under your hat.

[Ryan]

Just put it under your armpit. And then. Do I stink?

[Jared]

Oh, that's a good move.

[Miles]

I'll just put it in my crotch area. And I'll just constantly be adjusting my nut cup.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You guys aren't wearing nut cups.

[Ryan]

No, I won't be there.

[Miles]

I can't be catching a stray.

[Tyler]

They don't make them small enough, so.

[Miles]

Well, I'm gonna have to do the Eddie Gordado. I'm gonna have to run in from the bullpen and adjust my nut cup on second base case.

[Ryan]

Not confirmed that he actually did that. Can't find a single.

[Miles]

Did it. There's got to be someone out there that can confirm.

[Ryan]

Not confirmed. Tyler, you could. You could just crack an eggshell. Like, crack an eggshell in half and put that over top.

[Tyler]

It might work.

[Ryan]

Well, you said they didn't make them small enough.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I've been looking.

[Miles]

I think. I think I'm gonna go thimble.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you could do, like, a little espresso saucer.

[Tyler]

I just use the cap of this water bottle cap.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

I have espresso saucers.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Like cups and saucers. At my place. He's. Drape this. Drape the cup over your wiener.

[Tyler]

Is that porcelain strong enough, you think?

[Ryan]

Well, it'll crack it just like a regular nut cup would crack. But it will, it'll preserve. Okay, but you don't even need to preserve anymore.

[Tyler]

It's true, actually. I should just not wear a nut cup on purpose.

[Jared]

Try to get hit free.

[Ryan]

Vasectomy.

[Tyler]

Yeah, just pulverize my balls, please.

[Ryan]

Okay, I gotta get going to the post office. I'm gonna be late.

[Miles]

All right. Thanks for tuning in, guys.

[Jared]

All right.

[Miles]

I was itchy. Well guys, thanks for tuning to another episode of you Bet your Radio. Have a great one and we'll see you the next one. Oh yeah, betcha.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jared]

I want a trip to an all inclusive in Mexico with about 60 others in my company. I'm not sure if I can let loose like I usually would on vacation or if I need to still be semi professional. For context, I'm a realtor, so technically don't have a boss that could fire me if I get out of hand. But I still need advice on what my game plan should be going into it.

[Ryan]

That's actually a good question.

[Miles]

I would love to know if he's single or not.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

Because if he's married, this is pretty simple.

[Tyler]

Just you just be chill and enjoy yourself.

[Ryan]

It's okay to get face now.

[Miles]

If you're single and you're trying to, you know what happens down in Mexico stays in Mexico. Try to do a little Toby Keith action.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Then it gets trickier.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

So is it a nightmare for you guys to. Because they're technically not like his co workers. It's like because a realtor I think are independent contractors or whatever. Yeah, they're the same brokerage, whatever.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

But it, you got. You think it would be fun or a nightmare to go to Mexico, an all inclusive resort with 60 of your co workers.

[Jared]

Depends how long.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So I think 60 is way better than an eight.

[Ryan]

I would agree. Yeah, I would agree.

[Miles]

60. There's got to be some fun people in there. There's got to be people that you don't normally hang out with that you can, you know, it's, there's, you got more options. You can hide in a bigger crowd. If you don't want to do something, you can kind of skip out. No one really notices.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But to go to like Mexico with eight co workers.

[Tyler]

Well then if you Go with eight. They're gonna try to keep doing group things. If you go with 60, there's no chance they're making you do it.

[Miles]

The group things are all optional at that point.

[Tyler]

It's like a conference you go to one time, and that's it. If you go with eight people, they're like, well, we should go on this hike and go on this boat tour and.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's a good point.

[Miles]

Why won't anyone go snorkeling with me? Yeah, you know what? That's from forgetting Sarah Marshall.

[Tyler]

Oh, it's a good movie. I don't remember that.

[Miles]

It's the. He's a guy that works there, and he just comes at the most inopportune time when they're, like, all mad, and he's like, anyone want to go snorkeling?

[Ryan]

I think as long as you're the person, you're. As long as you're not the person out of the 60 that people are talking about when the trip is over, I think you're totally.

[Tyler]

That's true.

[Miles]

Correct.

[Tyler]

Get the second most up.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Isn't. Everybody talks about the guy that got the most up, not the guy that got the second most.

[Ryan]

Correct. This is, like prime Irish goodbye territory.

[Miles]

And also, this is like. This is. There's. This could be a great opportunity to gain a lot of respect from people. You know what I mean? But it's also. It's a gamble because you could lose respect.

[Tyler]

Yeah, Right.

[Miles]

If you drink all day and you're fine, people are gonna be like, that guy can drink like a fish. He's a sad.

[Tyler]

He's getting all my referrals.

[Miles]

If you black out and, you know, pissing someone's pina colada, a lot of respect loss.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Or you could sell a house when you're in Mexico and flex on all the realtors.

[Tyler]

That's true. Expand your territory to the all inclusive.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'm that good. I don't even need to be there to sell a house.

[Miles]

So. Yeah, I mean, good luck with the food is what I got to say.

[Tyler]

Don't drink the water.

[Ryan]

Drink the water.

[Jared]

Iceberg's dead ahead, though.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But if you are single, give what happens in Mexico. Listen to Toby Keith. He hasn't listened to it in a while. It's a great song.

[Tyler]

I think the characters in that song are married grade, which is why it stays in Mexico.

[Miles]

Oh. If you are. Never mind.

[Jared]

Just fun.

[Miles]

Have fun. Take the bones of that song. Don't take it. Don't take it literal.

[Tyler]

Listen to the Vibes.

[Miles]

You are right.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

They definitely are married. It's such a bop, though.

[Tyler]

It is. Listen to the vibes, not the words. And then channel that song.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Listen to this.

[Miles]

That is elite.

[Ryan]

And if you're not having a good time, just hit up the pharmacia immediately. Have a good time. So I was gonna throw that out there. Talking Mexico trips.

[Tyler]

La farmercia.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

This is probably our biggest question ever. Oh, Ice cream cake lover 5000.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Jared]

Mary. Kill Miles, Tyler, Ryan.

[Tyler]

I'll go myself.

[Ryan]

I think I'll myself as well.

[Tyler]

This is. That. This is hard at all. I'm gonna myself. I'm gonna marry Miles for his money, and I'm gonna kill Ryan.

[Ryan]

Yeah, just all of that. But I'll kill you.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Super easy.

[Miles]

Yeah, I'll. I'll go myself. The question is, who do you marry?

[Ryan]

Well, yeah, I think. Are you worried about martial law? Because if you are, I'm pro. I'm probably not your guy.

[Miles]

No, you are right. You're right on that.

[Tyler]

But if you want to burn really big piles of stuff, Ryan's your guy.

[Jared]

Well, Father's Day is going to get weird if you marry Tyler.

[Tyler]

That's true, but. Yeah, I'm not the father of his kids.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It's just such pros and cons to marrying either of you.

[Ryan]

You know, I. I'm not. I won't be mad if. If. If you kill me off. I won't be.

[Miles]

See, I didn't think you would be until you just said that.

[Tyler]

You guys already bickered like a married couple. You should just. Just tie the knot.

[Miles]

You guys bicker more than anyone ever in this company.

[Ryan]

You and I bicker.

[Tyler]

We bicker like an actual married couple. You just. Just get mad at each other.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, me and an get mad at each other, so what's the difference? I just. Yeah, Ryan's more handy. I feel like you tried to plug in a baseboard eater.

[Tyler]

That's true. That is true.

[Miles]

So for that reason, I might kill you.

[Tyler]

Okay. I mean, I might kill myself trying to hook that.

[Miles]

He's just stabbing a wire into the outlet. So I'll kill Tyler. I'll marry Ryan.

[Tyler]

I am getting that hooked up. By the way, I know a guy now. Junior. He's a junior electrician.

[Ryan]

Junior Dennis.

[Tyler]

Yeah, like that.

[Miles]

What about you, Jared?

[Ryan]

Yeah, I was just gonna ask.

[Jared]

I'll kill Ryan.

[Ryan]

I guess you don't want to do good in that half marathon.

[Jared]

Then I'll. Tyler and Mary Miles.

[Miles]

Let's go.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's kind of the way it is.

[Ryan]

I.

[Jared]

It wasn't easy, Ryan.

[Ryan]

I didn't know you look at Tyler that way.

[Tyler]

I feel like it was easy. You said it immediately.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you said it pretty quick. It's. It's almost like you've had that thought about Tyler before.

[Jared]

I have a quick brain, so.

[Miles]

I mean, guys, if you want more, you bet your radio, you got to check out our patreon. You got to go to patreon.com you bets radio, or look us up on the app, and we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you got to check us out on patreon. You bet your radio, baby.