Are We Smarter Than a 5th Grader? 🎙 #331

Summary

Podcast Summary: You Betcha Radio - "Are We Smarter Than a 5th Grader? 🎙 #331"

Podcast Information:

• Title: You Betcha Radio
• Host/Author: You Betcha
• Description: The most "Midwest" podcast on the planet. Myles the You Betcha Guy and the gang, Ryan, Tyler, and Jerrod, have been talking man culture, nostalgia, and being from the Midwest since 2019. Listen to each comedy-filled episode every Wednesday. Cheers!
• Episode: Are We Smarter Than a 5th Grader? 🎙 #331
• Release Date: June 18, 2025

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1. Ecology and Apex Predators

The episode kicks off with a thoughtful discussion on the role of apex predators in ecosystems. Tyler initiates the conversation by pondering, "What would the world look like if humans weren't on it?" (00:00)

Ryan counters by highlighting human-centric perspectives: "When you take wolves out of an ecosystem, it gets bad only for us..." (00:18). The group delves into the intelligence of dolphins, with Ryan asserting, "Dolphins have the most neurons of any animal creature. They think and act and they can joke, they play pranks." (00:55).

The conversation shifts to the concept of top predators, debating whether lions or panthers hold the title. Tyler muses, "I don't understand how are they king of the jungle. How are they king of the jungle?" (01:35), leading to a consensus that the title depends on the specific jungle ecosystem.

2. Ryan's Temporary Tattoo

A lighthearted segment ensues when Ryan reveals his new stick-on tattoo: "It's a stick on tattoos Thursday." (02:25). Tyler expresses surprise, thinking it's a real tattoo: "Are you recording?" (02:25). Ryan explains the temporary nature and shares the design: "It's a Panther or a jaguar fighting a snake, dragon." (02:52).

The friends humorously discuss the practicality and longevity of stick-on tattoos versus permanent ones, with Ryan noting, "And it's quite literally just a Panther or a jaguar fighting a snake, dragon." (02:44).

3. Father's Day Celebrations

Transitioning to a celebratory tone, Tyler extends a late, happy Father's Day greeting: "Happy Daddy's Day. It was the best Father's Day I've ever had." (08:54). The hosts share their Father's Day activities, ranging from golfing and fishing to attending parties. Ryan recounts participating in a 100-mile race event: "The guy that won it, he ran 100 miles in 14 hours and 15 minutes." (12:51).

The group humorously reflects on their own experiences and regrets regarding tattoos and other teenage decisions, emphasizing the value of their current choices.

4. "Are We Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" Game Segment

The core of the episode features the much-anticipated trivia game, "Are We Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" The rules are outlined with a mix of seriousness and humor:

• Format: Each participant answers five questions across various subjects. In case of a tie, a tiebreaker question is posed.
• Grading: Performance is graded from F to A based on the number of correct answers.

Notable Interactions:

• Question Example: "What is the boiling point of water in degrees Celsius?" Miles answers correctly with "100," while Tyler also nails it. Ryan mistakenly answers "212," confusing Fahrenheit with Celsius (56:28).

• Humorous Banter: As the game progresses, the hosts joke about their knowledge gaps. Tyler exclaims, "This is the first malicious thing that's ever happened on this podcast for our listeners," after Ryan throws a water bottle at the glass separating him and Jared (61:25).

• Final Scores: Ryan ends up with the highest score, securing his position as "the defending champ." The group laughs over their performances, with Tyler and Miles reflecting on the challenge of recalling elementary-level information.

5. Ryan's Health Update: Migraines

Amidst the fun and games, Ryan shares a personal update about his struggle with migraines:

• Migraine Details: "I get really terrible migraines, and they get doubled in here because we have studio lights directly into my face." (42:14)

• Medical Insights: Ryan discusses the possible causes of his migraines, including a cyst in his sinus and pinched nerves in his shoulder. He mentions, "They said my cervical spine is not aligned so I need to go to a chiropractor." (45:26).

• Chiropractic Solutions: The hosts debate the merits of chiropractic care versus massage therapy, with Miles recommending a chiropractor that covers his first 20 visits under insurance (46:00).

6. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

The episode wraps up with Jared sharing a fun fact about the invention of the popsicle: "In 1905, an 11-year-old boy named Frank Epperson left a cup of soda with a stirring stick on his porch overnight... the first popsicle was born." (76:31). The group continues to discuss various topics, including humorous takes on microwave usage and trash compaction.

Closing Remarks:

• Future Plans: The hosts brainstorm ways to improve future game segments, suggesting timed quizzes and written portions to enhance competitiveness and fairness.

• Patreon Promotion: Tyler encourages listeners to support the podcast via Patreon for exclusive content: "You gotta check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby." (88:20).

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Notable Quotes:

• "Dolphins have the most neurons of any animal creature. They think and act and they can joke, they play pranks." — Ryan (00:55)

• "I didn't even think about that." — Tyler (20:57)

• "Evaporation." — Jared (61:03)

• "We love that we're addicted to the pain." — Ryan (19:56)

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Key Takeaways:

• Ecological Insights: Understanding the delicate balance of ecosystems and the role of apex predators.

• Personal Stories: Sharing personal experiences, such as Ryan's temporary tattoo and health challenges, adds depth and relatability.

• Engaging Gameplay: The trivia segment not only entertains but also showcases the hosts' camaraderie and competitive spirit.

• Community Connection: Celebrating occasions like Father's Day fosters a sense of community among listeners.

This episode of You Betcha Radio successfully blends informative discussions with humor and personal anecdotes, making it both engaging and insightful for listeners.

Transcript

[Tyler]

Like, what would the world look like if humans weren't on it? You know what I mean? Like, if you take wolves out of the equation in an ecosystem, like, it gets bad.

[Ryan]

It does, but it doesn't.

[Tyler]

But, you know, it like gets. Gets changed drastically.

[Ryan]

It gets. When you take wolves out of an ecosystem, it gets bad only for us, because then there's multiple. There's so many deer, there's so many elk. There's. In our way, they eat our crops. So it's just inconvenient to us. It's not inconvenient to. So really nature.

[Tyler]

If we died off and then something happened with AI, where all of a sudden AI was gone and no robots, who would be that? The top predator that in the world.

[Ryan]

The second most intelligent mammal is a dolphin.

[Jared]

I'd say a monkey or a gorilla.

[Tyler]

We had Planet of the Apes.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It is like.

[Jared]

But there's a documentary about it.

[Ryan]

Dolphins. Dolphins have the most neurons.

[Tyler]

Play the apes.

[Ryan]

Yeah, Dolphins have the most neurons of any animal creature. They think and act and they can joke, they play pranks.

[Jared]

Yeah. They can't go on land, though.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And if. If they are going to develop land features, it's going to take millions of years. Millions and millions.

[Jared]

Lions, King of the jungle. King of the world, perhaps.

[Tyler]

Even though they're in the safari. I don't understand that. How are they king of the jungle.

[Ryan]

If they're in the safari because of Disney?

[Jared]

I never thought of that.

[Tyler]

Really?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Because wouldn't, like, a panther be the king of the jungle?

[Ryan]

Yeah, probably. Gorilla would be jaguar. Yeah.

[Jared]

A fast cat.

[Tyler]

Probably like a Bengal tiger would be the king of the jungle.

[Ryan]

It also totally depends on what jungle. There's a lot of jungles out there, like African jungles. It's for sure a gorilla is the king of the jungle. Like South American jungles. It's probably a panther. Jaguar.

[Tyler]

Panthers are fucking badass. Scary.

[Ryan]

I have a tattoo of a panther fighting a dragon on my arm.

[Jared]

Fuck, yeah.

[Tyler]

Really? You just got that?

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's brand new. When I got it, I got it at a bar on Thursday night.

[Tyler]

Bring that over here.

[Ryan]

It's a.

[Tyler]

Are you recording?

[Ryan]

It's a stick on tattoos Thursday.

[Tyler]

Oh, it's a stick on. You got regular tattoos, So I thought it was maybe real.

[Ryan]

Well. And these are like the nice ones. I can't scrub this thing off.

[Tyler]

That's nice.

[Ryan]

I went after it in the shower.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Because from here it looks like an actual tattoo that you got.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And it's quite literally just a, A, A Panther or a jaguar fighting a snake, dragon, jag. And my kids think it's awesome.

[Jared]

It is sick.

[Miles]

You went after it in the shower though.

[Ryan]

I did. I was. That's what that noise was, honey.

[Tyler]

So after. So after getting that, are you like, it's a good trial? Like, are you like, I kind of want to get this tattoo.

[Ryan]

Maybe I actually what I did find out is I kind of like the spot of it.

[Tyler]

It is a nice spot. Feel like it. It completes some of the ink you got.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It works well with the, the actual tattoos that I have. So maybe it's a good trial run to figure out location.

[Miles]

Could be a good like if you didn't want to do like your kids footprints like going up the side your. Your like cage, you could just do with something like that to commemorative kids tattoo.

[Jared]

No, I think that Tyler's kids feet on his body.

[Ryan]

Some people do that.

[Miles]

Some people do that.

[Jared]

I've never seen that.

[Ryan]

I should have done it when they were babies because now my 5 year old's feet are too big. It would take up too much real estate.

[Miles]

He gets an ice cream. He's like a size 13. You're like, I really wanted that tattoo.

[Ryan]

I should have done this earlier.

[Tyler]

Your whole thigh?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I wanted to get tattoos. I never really like got to the point of like choosing a tattoo, but I definitely wanted to get tattoos when I was like 18.

[Miles]

Oh for sure.

[Tyler]

So fucking glad I did not same dude. They would have been so lame and they would have been there forever. I dodged an absolute bullet.

[Miles]

My.

[Ryan]

So my dad told me in seventh grade that if I wanted a tattoo, he would sign it. He'd sign off on it and think of my cousin's my tattoo artist and he's really good and he's very careful with it all. He's like, tyler, I'm not going to tattoo you until we both agree on a tattoo. And it took until I was 19 for us to both finally agree on one.

[Jared]

I like checks and balances.

[Ryan]

Yeah. So he literally is like, I'm not going to do it. And you're fucking 13 years old so you can't pay for one unless I'm the one doing it.

[Tyler]

Yeah. He's like, I'm not doing it for free.

[Miles]

Do you think he does do it every day?

[Tyler]

Well, now I'm to the point.

[Miles]

Well, like, why do it?

[Ryan]

Maybe for your kid.

[Tyler]

The only way is like if all my kids are getting matching ones. Yeah, dad, you gotta do it.

[Miles]

Yeah. Then you gotta.

[Tyler]

This is what my kid sounds like when he's 20.

[Miles]

Yeah, no, I'm with you. I'm with you. I would jump on board with that. But outside of, outside of that, I'm.

[Tyler]

I'm, yeah, I'm in the, I'm in the dead spot of tattoos. You either get a tattoo right out of high school or you get one when you're like 50. You're going through a midlife late crisis.

[Ryan]

Get some barbed wire and some, yeah, some flames.

[Jared]

Although 18 year old miles would have had a sick art tattoo.

[Ryan]

So sick.

[Tyler]

God, that embarrassing. I wouldn't have got that.

[Miles]

I think I probably would have got like ducks or geese, like folding into a decoy spread or something. Would have been fucking awful.

[Jared]

I would have Calvin pissing on Chevy logo.

[Miles]

I'm assuming, Tyler, you don't have your name tattooed across your back.

[Ryan]

No, but at one point in my.

[Miles]

Life, I wanted it bad because that's a wrestling thing.

[Ryan]

It is. Yeah. Because. So when I was a freshman in high school, a bunch of the cool seniors got their names tattooed across their shoulders and I was like, oh, that's fucking sick. And I'm really glad I didn't do it.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I dodged ball too. I, I wanted to get chosen one across. Huge LeBron fan.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

I'm a witness.

[Tyler]

I was also a huge Stevo fan. So I almost got the tattoo of Stevo. Did the thumbs up, I'll cross my back. Absolutely dodged a bullet.

[Miles]

I gotta, I had a buddy when he was 18, he got his initials on his triceps. So like, like first name, initial, and, and I mean, what's that good for?

[Tyler]

Is his name, is his name Ben Johnson? No initials are T. Think that one through. Did you?

[Miles]

No.

[Ryan]

That's why you put him on each tricep, not on one.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, I, I mean, in case you two. Shit face. One night you forget, you know, the cops pull you over, you're like, what's your name? You're like, I don't remember. I'm Shitface. And then you show them your triceps. You, yeah, you just.

[Tyler]

I don't get, this might be dumb, but I don't get how tattoos are just there forever. You get new, you get a whole new set of skin, like what, every seven years? So something like that.

[Ryan]

Me either. This bear on my forearm, I got a scratch on it and I, I, it kind of like scabbed over and I was picking the dead skin off and some ink came with the skin, but the tattoo is still there.

[Tyler]

I don't understand. If someone could explain to me how tattoos Stayed there forever. I would love to know.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's like. Yeah. It's like fireworks underwater.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Add that to life's greatest mysteries and, like.

[Tyler]

I know, like, if you get them on your foot, they will wear off because you. Like, it has so much contact with friction.

[Ryan]

Yeah. But it's like I literally cut a chunk off of my skin and pulled the skin off, and ink came with it, and then that spot just grew black back. Black.

[Miles]

So is the. Is the skin, like, on the surface? Is it fucking translucent or what?

[Ryan]

It's got to be, like, down in the. The pore of the skin. I don't fucking know.

[Tyler]

Epidermis.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I'm sure it just penetrates deep enough. Yeah, I don't know.

[Ryan]

I wouldn't know that either.

[Jared]

It does fade over time too, I guess.

[Ryan]

Totally. Like this. Like, I'm losing it. Up top here on this one. That used to be a lot darker, but that Tattoo is also 10 years old.

[Jared]

Gonna get colored in.

[Miles]

I was gonna. Yeah. Have you ever considered color in a tattoo? Like blues, reds, greens?

[Ryan]

No, I. I never have. I've always just wanted to do black and white.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you just straight to the punch. No fluff.

[Miles]

Yeah. No gray area there.

[Ryan]

Because the colors. Colors fade worse than the black and gray tattoos do.

[Miles]

Sure.

[Ryan]

Well, they don't, but it's easier to tell.

[Tyler]

Well, anyways, welcome back to another episode of you Bet yout Radio podcast. Everyone.

[Jared]

We're back.

[Tyler]

I also like to extend a late, happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there. Yeah. You guys, happy Daddy's Day. It was the best Father's Day I've ever had.

[Miles]

Come on.

[Ryan]

That's funny.

[Tyler]

It just was. I just have never had a Father's Day like it.

[Miles]

The one of one type of day keeps getting better.

[Ryan]

Yeah. The bar is set pretty high for next Father's Day.

[Miles]

Yeah, I know. Yeah, it's going into number two for you.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Tyler]

I don't know if you got it or not.

[Miles]

Come on.

[Tyler]

I was waiting to see.

[Ryan]

Did you guys get anything sweet for Father's Day?

[Tyler]

My wife booked me of tea time.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

It's like the best gift ever.

[Ryan]

Yeah. My wife got me a really cool gift, but I will save it for Patreon.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

I don't know if I want to know.

[Ryan]

Yeah, well, I'm. Did she get.

[Miles]

Did she schedule you a vasectomy?

[Ryan]

You know, I'm. I'm comfortable talking about it on Patreon.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Ryan]

She's comfortable me talking about it on.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

I had to Ask permission. This is a tease.

[Miles]

All it takes is a paywall for Tyler to feel comfortable.

[Ryan]

Not me. I'd tell you guys, but.

[Tyler]

So you're gonna tell us this week on Patreon. Yep.

[Ryan]

Bosses, bosses. Orders.

[Tyler]

Dying to know. You gotta go. Subscribe to Patreon. Patreon.com Venture Radio. Yeah, good. Father's Day. Did a little golfing, did a little fishing, Did a little. There was a party at her house, so. Yeah, it was good. You guys do anything fun for Father's.

[Miles]

Day besides whatever, Whatever you guys got going on?

[Ryan]

No, I. I was on the road most of the day. I was at a. A race in Whitewater, Wisconsin. And I left Whitewater at like 5am God.

[Miles]

Foot race or like wheel race?

[Ryan]

Foot race for my wheel race. My Dad's girlfriend ran 100 mile race in Wisconsin. We pit crewed for. So it got done super early morning, but we got back and all I did was just hang out with my kids. I sprayed the shit out of them with the hose, which is a good Father's Day tradition.

[Tyler]

Now. You know, I've been kind of a hater, especially of half marathons.

[Jared]

Yeah, I know.

[Tyler]

I.

[Ryan]

Poor Jared.

[Tyler]

100 mile race is impressive. That is something you should definitely get a medal for. I.

[Miles]

You got to put some respect on it.

[Tyler]

It was even a 50 mile race. 50 it up.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Dude, this race is so intense. Their fun run. They had a fun run option. Guess how long the Fun Run was?

[Miles]

35.

[Ryan]

38 mile. 38 mile fun run.

[Tyler]

Jesus.

[Ryan]

Yeah, those are.

[Tyler]

That's the psychos of all psychos. No offense to your dad's girlfriend. No, she's quite literally clinically insane. She's.

[Ryan]

It's, it was nuts.

[Tyler]

No offense. No offense.

[Miles]

Did it.

[Ryan]

She ran for 22 hours straight.

[Miles]

Well, pit grab me pit stops, but she barely stopped.

[Ryan]

The longest pit stop we had was maybe five minutes.

[Miles]

Did any bit of you feel like this would be kind of cool to do?

[Ryan]

No.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

I, I, maybe a little bit. At the beginning, I was like, all right. These guys are kind of inspiring. And at the end, I saw her name's Lori. I saw her feet. I'm like, I will never even sit and do this.

[Miles]

Yeah. No toenails.

[Ryan]

Her entire feet were blisters. But it was. It was incredible. The guy that won it, he. He broke the previous course record by over an hour. So he ran 100 miles in 14 hours and 15 minutes. That's like 8 minutes and 8 minute. 8. 15 miles for 100 miles.

[Jared]

It's a little sus.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I mean, did he catch a ride halfway?

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

Did he have heelys on. On the downhillers?

[Ryan]

So we were at all the pit stops. He was the first one in at first pit stop. And I'm like. And he came, he was cruising. And my dad and like a couple other guys were like, no way. He keeps this pace going. Well, he did. He did. And he came into the finish line and he was just bouncing around all happy. I was like, holy, this guy is an animal.

[Miles]

There's got to be delusion that sets in towards the end for sure.

[Ryan]

I think so. I think that's. They let you have pacers eventually. It was. The race starts at 6am At 6.30pm you can start having pacers. And I think that's part of it. It's a little bit like you've been alone in. In your head for 12 and a half hours that having another human to converse with is probably pretty good.

[Tyler]

Well, you know, it's like he's bouncing around like he basically had six hours less of running.

[Ryan]

That's true. You know that is true.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Hey, he was just so fucking boring. I guess I'll just sprint the next 50.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah, fuck it. I'll just do it.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

That's kind of wild.

[Ryan]

So shout out to Lori. She won her age group Shout out.

[Tyler]

Lore prize picks time of the week. Right now you can sign up with code YBR and get $50 instantly when you play your first $5 lineup. You don't need to win the lineup to receive a $50 bonus. It's just guaranteed. And this week I'm going big.

[Miles]

Okay, me too.

[Tyler]

I got 50 bucks on this lineup.

[Miles]

Me too.

[Tyler]

Me and Ryan are riding or dying. Power play. $50 on this lineup.

[Ryan]

Twin.

[Tyler]

1100 and 75. 75? Yeah, dude. 1175 bucks. Cold hard cash in my account. It's gonna be sweet.

[Miles]

I'm gonna be sweating.

[Ryan]

Thursday night. You know, Ryan's on the edge of his couch just sweating bullets, just, hey.

[Miles]

I'm gonna need a tank top on.

[Ryan]

Gonna get hot in there and you're just gonna be screaming. Against who?

[Miles]

I'm gonna be screaming that Chet Holmgren. Chet Holmgren goes less than 15 and a half points.

[Ryan]

I like it. I love the Chet hate from you.

[Tyler]

Why don't you like Chad?

[Miles]

Cause I got one of his cards and it won't sell the finals.

[Tyler]

Why would you want to be tanking his stock then? You should want him to do well.

[Miles]

So that I know that's true.

[Ryan]

You want him to be finals mvp.

[Tyler]

Not tank okay, so Ryan's got chat for less than 15 and a half.

[Jared]

Jared OB topping more than 10 and a half points.

[Ryan]

Okay, OB top, I got Tyrese Haliburton more than 24 and a half points and assists. Another toggle.

[Tyler]

And then I also got a red devil. TJ McConnell just needs to make one three pointer.

[Ryan]

I couldn't be a bigger fan of TJ.

[Tyler]

One thing needs to happen for that one to hit. Just make a three pointer.

[Miles]

Can you imagine if the other three have hit and then he hits the game winning three pointer.

[Ryan]

Oh, that be a gosh.

[Tyler]

1100 bucks. Cold hard cash in my account.

[Miles]

That's why we love sports.

[Tyler]

I love cold hard cash in my account.

[Miles]

Chc.

[Tyler]

So you got to roll with us guys. This is the one to go all in. Can feel it in my bones. And I can feel that cold hard cash in my account wallet. So roll with us guys. Again, use code YBR if you're signing up. Now's the week to get in. Could be the last game of the series. Could be NBA finals.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Tyler]

So go to prize picks, check it out and if you got any slip picks, send them in. I was at the golf course and there was leaderboard up and this mom and her daughter was standing there. She was like, look, you know, like, whatever. And she's like, ah, I guess you won some money off of grandpa. And I looked and she was, she got first place. And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Made a bet with your grandpa, like, nice. And she was like, well, we didn't tell him that I was the only one in my age division.

[Ryan]

That's funny.

[Miles]

Yeah. Take that money and run.

[Tyler]

But yeah, I went golfing this weekend and I realized something. I realized that guys love true hobbies for guys. Guys love hobbies that make them miserable.

[Ryan]

And. And you're using golf. That was the inspiration.

[Tyler]

Primo example.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Tyler]

You. I didn't see it. You know, when you're doing it yourself, you don't necessarily realize it because you're consumed by your miserableness, but when you. When I golf with my brother and boy, him and I were happy at the beginning of the round. Oh, yeah, you were out there. I chipped in for birdie on the first hole. We're like this. I'm gonna shoot the best round of my life. And then you could see the life draining from my brother's eyes by whole number. My whole number eight started going, you know, and then by the end, both him and I aren't even talking while we're on the cart. You know, it's just strictly transactional. It's just like, yeah, I think your ball's over there.

[Miles]

Same cart, too.

[Ryan]

The up thing is, you. You finish 18 holes, you're miserable, and then it's like, you want to get a tea time for next weekend?

[Tyler]

Yeah. I don't know. What.

[Ryan]

We love that we're addicted to the. The pain.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I mean, also, fishing. You don't catch a thing. You're so excited to do it, and then by the end of it, you're like, why did I just spend two hours doing that?

[Ryan]

You're just changing lures out of boredom.

[Tyler]

Right. Because, like, fishing could be meditative. Right. But after you're out there for about an hour by yourself, you're like, all right, I got my fix, but I'm just going to stick out here for another hour just to make sure that I'm miserable.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I'm giving it, like, five, 10 more casts, and then 100 casts later, you're like, okay, one more.

[Ryan]

That's how I am with hunting cast. I just. Okay, I'm gonna go sit in the woods. It could be raining, could be snowing, could be freezing, and I don't see any deer. And then I'm like, I think I'll just do this again tomorrow.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that sounds awesome.

[Ryan]

Yeah. This is a good, good time. Staring at the same red squirrel for eight hours.

[Tyler]

Or even woodworking.

[Ryan]

Oh. Oh, my God.

[Tyler]

You're making something, and then you make a couple bad cuts and you run out of. Or it doesn't. Or you start putting it together, and it just. Nothing matches up.

[Ryan]

Yep. Your plan in your head is perfect. And then you start to execute said plan, and plan does not go according to it. Irate. It's. Some of my angriest moments are when I'm in the wood shop and doesn't go right.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Or even your lawn. You could be doing everything right. And then you just got a dead patch, and then you stick a screwdriver in the ground, find out there's a rock there, and you tear up your whole lawn to pull out a rock. Like that one guy on the Internet, he had to have been miserable doing that. It's like, the more miserable it makes you and the more difficult it is, the happier that we are.

[Ryan]

I think it's because when you have all these lows, the highs are so much higher.

[Tyler]

That is very true.

[Miles]

Well, I think we're also just addicted to, like, chasing success. And, like, how do you measure success in woodworking and playing golf and fishing? Like, success in fishing is like catching your limit, right?

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

But so you go out once, you don't catch anything, but then you come back out the next time you catch your limit, you're like, fuck, I gotta get out again.

[Ryan]

And when you do get that success, you forget about all the failures. So, like you, I'm hunt. I. When I shot my bear, I basically forgot about the first night I didn't see any bears for eight hours.

[Tyler]

That is true. I, I didn't even think about that.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

When you told us that after you said you got a bear, I didn't. You told us you sat there for eight hours, didn't even think about that. Eight hours.

[Ryan]

All the, all the failures out the window.

[Tyler]

It's kind of like having children. They say that women will biologically black out what labor was really like so that they have another kid.

[Ryan]

Yep. They remember it right away, and then it's like eight months later when the kids being really cute and he's like, oh, we should have another one. Like, hated labor.

[Miles]

Well, even just asking him questions about labor, they don't remember anything. I, I kind of understand why there's a lot going on there, but for me, it's like, it's, it's buying and selling sports cards. Like, I, I. Some of my most miserable moments have been in the sports card world.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

When can I get a W here you drop four.

[Tyler]

Yeah. You just blowing money left and right.

[Miles]

Just here is $5,000 for the last X amount of years of doing this. Just take it. Why do I even. Why do I keep doing it? Just because it's the thrill of, like, getting that one fucking huge card.

[Jared]

That Wemby rookie that.

[Miles]

Yep, exactly. Jaden Daniels Auto. It's like that one big card you hit. You're like, you know, I'm still down 10 grand, but, you know, this one card for 500 bucks, I just pull it. So worth it. You know, it's so dumb.

[Tyler]

Yeah. It's like we just choose happy. We just choose hobbies that are essentially gambling.

[Ryan]

Yeah, kind of. Yeah.

[Tyler]

And do I, Do I have enough. The gamble is, do I have enough skills to be happy at the end of this?

[Ryan]

Yeah. You can sort of hedge your bets by getting better at the thing, but it's still not a hundred percent guarantee. Like, I can cut trails, grow food plots, scout my land. That won't make the deer walk in front of me. It's going to help, but it's still a gamble.

[Miles]

Well, I mean, in the golf world, you can get fitted for new clubs. You can get lessons. You can do all that stuff and you might still shoot 90.

[Ryan]

Yeah. So you can hedge your bets a little bit, but we are gambling at the core.

[Tyler]

Yeah. That's what lawns are.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You can wire out of it this and that, but if you just don't. If you don't got the right soil, you.

[Miles]

You can.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You can try mixing this chemical with this chemical and be like, oh, this has got to do the job. And then before you know it, everything's dead.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Time to start.

[Tyler]

Oh, I shouldn't have put WD40 on my lawn.

[Miles]

Yeah. You get everything looking good. You're like, we're all in all these dead spots. Like, oh, yeah, my dog pisses in this yard and it kills the grass off.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I guess I gotta. Maybe I'll experiment with a litter box for my dog.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, the dog.

[Tyler]

Yeah. It's mostly because I think biologically, us, especially as males, were addicted to problem solving, and so we just choose hobbies that are just. If we choose a hobby that doesn't have a new problem pop up, we're bored with it.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You know what I mean?

[Ryan]

We're also, I think biologically as well, men are more. More apt to take risks. That's why when you have a toddler boy, they're A lot of them are a lot crazier than toddler girls. So, like, we just want to take risks. And that's part of the gambling of it all.

[Tyler]

That is true. I love trying to hit a drive as hard as I can because it's like, it could hit a house or it could end up 300 yards. And the thrill of that.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Is unmatched.

[Miles]

I love buying 100 box of sports cards and just knowing that I could hit a 150 card out of this box.

[Ryan]

Or you could.

[Miles]

Or I could get absolutely skunked and lose a hundred bucks. I just. I don't understand it.

[Ryan]

So I watched some sports cards people and Pokemon card people opening up packs, and then they put what each card is worth every time they flip through it. And most of them are, like, worth like 85 cents.

[Miles]

Yeah. A buck.

[Ryan]

How do they know that? Are they selling these things for 85 cents?

[Miles]

Yes. They're just checking comparable sales on ebay.

[Ryan]

But so like Blue Book, somebody's actually listing a card and. And then shipping it to someone for 85 cents? Yeah.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. Some cards sell for 1 cent, and then the shipping is buck 25.

[Ryan]

So do you do that so you.

[Miles]

Can make a little dollar cards? It also just keeps Your account in the algorithm. So your other cards pop up.

[Tyler]

So, yeah, activity.

[Miles]

Activity. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Activities.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Name of the game. And how many of those do you sell?

[Miles]

Probably like 8 to 10 a week.

[Tyler]

Percentage wise, though.

[Miles]

Oh, percentage of dollar cards compared to everything is.

[Tyler]

How many of your dollar cards do you sell percentage wise?

[Miles]

45.

[Tyler]

See, it's just close enough to 50. It keeps you coming back. I know you hear the Ching with the ebay notification and you're ready to go.

[Miles]

Yeah. Get a dopamine rush and then you'll. You'll list a card for a dollar. Someone. Someone will offer you 75 cents. What the cancel off?

[Ryan]

Well, they saw the same video I did. They know it's only worth 85.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

So it's the whole thing.

[Tyler]

So that's what I realized this weekend. It's like. It's like, oh, this new hobby. And you're like, can you be miserable doing it? They're like, oh, yeah. There's. There's this new hobby has unlocked new ways to be miserable. You're like, sign me up.

[Ryan]

Hell yeah.

[Miles]

Like, what hobbies are out there that don't really have problems that will arise to solve?

[Jared]

Reading.

[Miles]

Reading is good. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, there's. Sometimes I'm miserable in the middle of a book when it's kind of slow and boring, but.

[Miles]

Yeah. Is anyone. Matt. Like, I don't think anyone's, like, disappointed or. Or mad when they finish a book. It's kind of. It's actually a great feeling.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I wouldn't even say. Would you say watching TV is a hobby?

[Ryan]

Maybe.

[Miles]

I would say so.

[Tyler]

So how can we rope. Books can't be a hobby.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

It's just a form of entertainment.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I agree with that one. What about.

[Tyler]

You can collect books and stuff, I.

[Ryan]

Guess, but what about video games? Because that's more involved than reading or watching TV or you're controlling the story yourself.

[Jared]

It's definitely a challenge.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But I mean, think of when we were younger. We would throw controllers at the wall, you know, we would fucking break discs.

[Ryan]

You can get miserable, rage, quit.

[Tyler]

You would. You would call your siblings words that they should never be called in their life. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Or random strangers playing on the other side of the world.

[Tyler]

That's true. God, that's wild. Yeah, that is very true.

[Ryan]

Halo, lobby chats.

[Tyler]

That's a classic. Is it a hobby or is it an activity? Is like, you know, like, is it a sport or is it an activity? Is it a hobby or is it an activity? If it doesn't make you miserable it's not a hobby.

[Miles]

Yeah. Like riding motorcycle, some would consider a hobby, but that's more of just an activity because you feel good until someone runs a red light. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Same thing with owning a boat.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Like there's a YouTuber page where their whole motto is cars are pain.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Like they print that on T shirts. Sure.

[Miles]

And that makes sense because they are pain.

[Tyler]

So cars, definitely a hobby.

[Ryan]

Anything with an engine, I would say is a hobby.

[Tyler]

I would say grilling. Is it more of an activity than. Than a hobby? Because I feel like grilling. There's. Unless you're Tyler, there's not. Every time makes me miserable.

[Miles]

Like, even if you just overcook a steak a little bit or even if you char one up, it's like you.

[Tyler]

Just someone else and don't eat it. Exactly.

[Ryan]

You're not definitely a hobby for me because I'm fucking miserable the whole time. I do.

[Jared]

I think if you're like, you're experimenting on the girl doing new, then it's a hobby. But if you're just doing it to do it.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Like if you're one of those guys that does like the dry rubs and the aged meats.

[Jared]

Yeah. That'd be more of a hobby. Ish.

[Miles]

And if you're just grilling to put food on the table, like that's what's happened. It's more of like a. It's just a necessity.

[Tyler]

Survival.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

It's like nobody's passionate about cooking on the stove.

[Miles]

Right.

[Jared]

I guess.

[Ryan]

Well, they're very passionate.

[Miles]

Okay. Yeah.

[Jared]

Microwaving we'll do.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one's. No one microwave stuff for hobby?

[Miles]

No. No. Yeah. No one's. There's no. Nothing miserable about like nuke and some Mac and cheese.

[Tyler]

Dude, that should be a whole tick tock page. Someone doing. Someone like being the microwave guy that acts like it's a cooking thing.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

Like you know how to do gourmet poverty nachos. Yeah. In the microwave.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Cordon blues.

[Tyler]

The correct way to reheat something in the microwave.

[Miles]

Or even with power levels too.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Because like the back of like a frozen vegetable bag, it tells you what. What power setting to have it on. It's like, hopefully my microwave is set on that because I'm just putting it in.

[Tyler]

If you. If you are changing the power on your microwave, you are a loser.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I've never done it. I don't know how to do it.

[Tyler]

I don't know how to do it.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I don't even say if you even know how to do it. You are more questionable.

[Miles]

Like, what's the standard power level that comes on?

[Tyler]

Why do you have so much time in your life to mess with the power settings on your microwave and then let alone have the mental capacity to return it to the original level? Yeah, if I change the level on my microwave and, you know, like, I don't know, what is it, one through 10?

[Miles]

I think it's like, 12.

[Tyler]

If I change it to five out of 10, it's staying on five out of 10 until I get pissed later about why something's not getting hot.

[Ryan]

No. You're going to just assume that your microwave wore out.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I'm going to be. I'm going to. I'm going to switch it to 5 power out of 10, and then I'm going to end up buying a new microwave because it's broke.

[Ryan]

Do you think that. So we have two microwaves here, and we have the good microwave and the bad microwave. Do you think the bad microwave is just on a low power setting?

[Tyler]

Very well.

[Jared]

Could be, perhaps.

[Miles]

Yeah. I have no idea. I use it almost every day. I have. I. I wouldn't even know to check.

[Tyler]

I don't know where to check.

[Jared]

Factory reset.

[Tyler]

You just have to press all the buttons on it. You don't have enough fingers.

[Ryan]

Did you know that microwaves have, like, secret combinations you can do to, like, turn off the beeper? And like, even older microwaves, like, if you press 8, 5, 9, whatever, in a certain order, then a thing pops up. It's like, turn beeper off and, like, start for yes.

[Miles]

8, 00, 8, 5.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Ryan]

That's the code. If anyone wants to steal my new WI fi, I just got Starlink, and The password is 8008135, exclamation point. Hell, yeah.

[Tyler]

Tyler, I'm gonna pull up in your driveway and work from there.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Jared]

I. I hate with, like, microwave popcorn. It tells you not to use the popcorn button.

[Ryan]

It's very confusing. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Oh, really?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I've never read the back of a popcorn bag.

[Miles]

Well, is there, like, is big popcorn talking to big microwave? Like, hey, obviously, here's what we need.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

What would be their. What would be their motives behind not wanting to use it? Seems like that's great for their brand.

[Miles]

Big time.

[Ryan]

They just got spurned by big microwave back in the day. It's like, don't use their buttons.

[Tyler]

But they gave them a whole button.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

And a potato button. There's a potato button, too. You don't see potatoes saying, don't use the potato. Button.

[Miles]

And is it like, is it.

[Tyler]

There's a potato button on the microwave.

[Jared]

You gotta look at your microwave.

[Tyler]

All I ever look at on my microwave is the plus 30 seconds. If I got five minutes, I just hammer that.

[Miles]

Me too. Me too.

[Tyler]

Or like, there's a potato setting. I would never cook a potato in the microwave.

[Ryan]

I used to do it when I was a kid.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I mean, it makes sense.

[Miles]

Yeah, but is it instant potatoes?

[Ryan]

Is it like you just throw a whole potato in there, you nuke it for like three minutes, and then it's good to go.

[Miles]

We need like a.

[Ryan]

It's just as good as boiling it.

[Tyler]

We need to do a slice on top.

[Ryan]

You can.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I would do that. To me, it would feel so strange just throwing a potato, just taking it out of the bag and throwing it in the microwave. Seems crazy to me.

[Miles]

Wrap it in tinfoil and throw it in there.

[Jared]

Yep. That's what you have to do.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yep. Put it in tinfoil, everybody, and then just. It works better if you leave the, the forks hot. So if you just leave the fork in the microwave.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah. Or if you're gonna put butter on it, put the knife in the microwave so that you can get the. Slice the butter easier.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

Like a hot knife going through butter.

[Miles]

You, you guys ever use the, like the. Was it the defrost button or is it the th. Like meat thigh button?

[Ryan]

I use defrost in there all the time.

[Miles]

I, I mean, you hit that button, there's 10 minutes on the deal. How about we just go f. Like five minutes at the regular, and then once it just starts boiling, like, the liquid coming out starts.

[Tyler]

But how?

[Miles]

We just take it out?

[Ryan]

Well, are you supposed to put it in there?

[Tyler]

It's supposed to, like, because if you boil it, it'll start cooking the meat.

[Miles]

Yeah, no, I know, but. So I don't have time to sit around for 10 minutes away for something to thaw.

[Tyler]

Well, then just cook it frozen at.

[Miles]

That point, like, like thawing out. Like if I have a frozen ring of deer sausage, I'm just going to throw it in the microwave on like five minutes.

[Ryan]

Yeah, but that's.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but that's our. That's already.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

It's already okay.

[Miles]

So even back to the raw meat, I'm, I, I've never used the defrost button. I usually put it in for like, like maybe four minutes, flip it, and then do it again.

[Ryan]

So if you do it right in there, it's quicker than. So I defrost things mostly if I Thinking ahead with just super hot water. And then I just sit it in the hot water.

[Tyler]

Well, you're not supposed to do that.

[Ryan]

Why?

[Tyler]

I'm not supposed to do hot water. You're supposed to do just like room temperature water.

[Miles]

I do scorching hot.

[Ryan]

I get my sink, sink as hot as it can go. I plug the up, throw meat in.

[Miles]

If it's 5:30 and we're eating at 6 and we have no hamburger thought out, I'm just putting that. I'm. I'm going to boil water and then I'll throw it in there. It doesn't make it taste any different.

[Tyler]

I mean, ideally you should just take it out the day before, put it in the fridge.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I mean, yeah, that's ideal.

[Ryan]

I think I'm far ahead.

[Miles]

I'm. I'm also a male and I'm not, I'm not doing that most of the time.

[Tyler]

One time I forgot to take to defrost the turkey. Oh. It was a covered coveted Thanksgiving. So it was me, my brother and Anne because we all lived together at the time. And I, I just forgot to defrost the turkey. And so I started it by putting in some hot water. And then after a while we're like, I have to start cooking this or we're not gonna eat dinner. So we just. I just cooked it like half frozen.

[Ryan]

Turkey and it was pretty bad.

[Tyler]

It ended up being fine.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's not that bad.

[Tyler]

But yeah, that was, I mean that's like the one thing you shouldn't forget, right? To defrost.

[Miles]

Because that's a multiple day process.

[Ryan]

Yeah, like three or four days for those things.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's disaster. Oh, well, whatever.

[Jared]

Also, Ryan, your microwave is pretty effed up too.

[Ryan]

So he's got a new one now.

[Miles]

Oh, you do have my old house.

[Tyler]

Gotcha.

[Miles]

Yeah, that was, that was in the purge screen. Like I'm not taking this microwave nor, nor would you ever take them unless it's like a tabletop.

[Tyler]

You should not draw attention that microwave in a purchase agreement because that could get them to back out. Imagine your microwave so bad it could cause someone to back out of the sale.

[Ryan]

Losing the sale on your home for 50 microwave.

[Miles]

I mean the heat was like the heat on. It was fine. It still worked. You just couldn't see the time.

[Jared]

Gotcha.

[Miles]

It's like you're just living in darkness.

[Ryan]

The, the microwave defroster is, it's a good function. You should.

[Tyler]

I'm guessing what it does is it automatically lowers the power of your microwave because you.

[Ryan]

What it does. It's like. What kind of meat? It's like red chicken or fish. You select 1, 2, or 3, and then you just put in the weight of it. And then it goes. It beeps. You flip it, you do it again and it beeps and you're done.

[Jared]

Gotta flip it.

[Tyler]

Hey, try it out this weekend.

[Miles]

I'll just. Yeah, we'll see if I. I. Yeah, we'll see.

[Jared]

Why don't you want to do it?

[Tyler]

It's. It takes too long.

[Ryan]

Scary. It's quicker than the water.

[Miles]

I already. I know what. I know how much time I need to put on there for like a full pound and a half frozen thing of hamburger.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Miles]

So.

[Jared]

All right.

[Miles]

It doesn't take. It doesn't. It's not less time, Jared, Okay?

[Ryan]

It's less time than the sink method. So I use the microwave. If like. Like you. I've completely forgotten dinner times now.

[Miles]

You flip it. You flip it when I like. Because it doesn't give you time intervals in between where you flip it.

[Ryan]

Yep. So you goes. It beeps. Then you flip and then it just hit. Start again and then it'll go.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you just flip it. You just pick it up and you turn it 180, 180 degree clockwise. That's what they mean by turn.

[Miles]

Well, yeah, that's spinning it. This is. Yeah, turning it is.

[Tyler]

They turn it like, like clockwise. That would be a funny joke for like a comedy movie. Dumb. And number three, flip the meat spins it.

[Ryan]

Isn't that. Is that happening?

[Tyler]

I hope not. They already they.

[Miles]

Number two it up.

[Tyler]

Absolutely. Number one, by doing number two, what are you gonna be started on the prequel? I mean, dumb and Dumber. You're. You're gonna tell me that he.

[Ryan]

It. Never mind.

[Miles]

Yeah, we. We. Yeah.

[Tyler]

They made him so much dumber in the second one. Like dumb. Number one was the perfect amount of dumb because they were still functioning people. Wasn't in society like they could. You know what I mean? They just had. They just were dumb regular people. And then in Dumb and Dumber two, they made them just unbelievable morons.

[Miles]

So was. Was Dumb and Dumber too. Was that. Was that Dumb and Dumber?

[Jared]

That was a prequel.

[Tyler]

Dumb and Dumb. Er was the prequel Dumb and Dumber 2. T O O came out like six years ago.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

It is. It is not confirmed, but Jeff Daniels would really like to do it.

[Jared]

Wants that money.

[Tyler]

They probably. They probably want to reset re refix number dumb and number two by making them less dumb.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Tyler]

What was so beautiful about Dumb and dumber the original was. Yes, they were really dumb, but they weren't incompetent. They could still, like, function in society.

[Ryan]

I don't know if I've ever seen number two.

[Tyler]

You don't need to.

[Ryan]

Okay, I'll skip it.

[Tyler]

There's only one funny part, and that's when something goes off in the car, and they get out and they can't hear anything. And the one guy gets hit by a train, and they turn around, they thought he drove off. He just got hit by a train.

[Jared]

Pretty good.

[Miles]

That's pretty.

[Ryan]

That's pretty good.

[Jared]

Sounds like a good movie.

[Tyler]

No, it's the only funny part.

[Ryan]

Speaking of dumb and dumber, what else you got first, Jared?

[Tyler]

Well, should we take a break?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Oh, well, yeah, so we're gonna take a break. Then Tyler's gonna give us an update on his puking saga.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

And then the delayed, the postponed. Are you smarter than the fifth graders? Coming up next? Because we couldn't do it last week because of Tyler.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's me.

[Tyler]

So take a break and we'll do that. Are you ready, Jared?

[Jared]

I'm so ready.

[Ryan]

I don't know how to feel about the optimism.

[Tyler]

Don't. Don't be mean.

[Jared]

Not me. I'm excited for that.

[Tyler]

I. I say, I know you're ready, but on the. On the 1 in 300 chance that you're not. Thank God I asked.

[Jared]

I know.

[Tyler]

I'm just like Dave's two, two method. Most of the time you know where someone is, but in the off chance that you don't, you could save a life.

[Jared]

So what should I have done differently?

[Tyler]

2. 2. I'd just be like, yep, yep, there we go. It wasn't what you said. It was how you said it. It was like, yes, Miles, I am ready. I'm waiting for you. Oh, okay.

[Jared]

Is what you asked me, like, facetious or whatever? Yeah, Gotcha. I wasn't. Anywho.

[Tyler]

You ready, Jared?

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

See, isn't that great?

[Ryan]

All is. All is well.

[Tyler]

All right, Tyler, you can't just. You can't just wander out of a podcast. Mid podcast. Get the rest of the day off without explaining yourself. So. So this better be a good story.

[Ryan]

It's. Yeah, it's not. I just get really, really terrible migraines, and they get doubled in here because we have studio lights directly into my face.

[Tyler]

But, yeah, I suppose that one is.

[Ryan]

Yeah. So I'm, like, looking at you, and you've got these two giant studio lights, and then I get nauseous. Anyway, Every time I have a migraine, but it just gets so much worse when I'm in here. So I went and threw up a whole bunch of.

[Jared]

A whole bunch?

[Ryan]

Yeah. It was a lot.

[Tyler]

Really?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Tyler is like a. A farmer whose crop isn't growing very good. And he's just standing there rubbing his temples, going, oh, my grain. Oh, my grain.

[Ryan]

How long you've been working on that?

[Tyler]

I thought of it immediately after the podcast last week, and I was like, damn it. Oh, yeah. That was you?

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

You could wear shades. I mean, I got.

[Ryan]

There's a pair of shades that would.

[Miles]

Here.

[Ryan]

That's actually.

[Tyler]

Why don't they make sunglass contacts or transitions. Contact transition.

[Ryan]

Contact lenses.

[Jared]

Your eyes turn black outside.

[Ryan]

That would be creepy as hell.

[Tyler]

Is that why?

[Miles]

Probably.

[Ryan]

Probably you. Terrible.

[Miles]

I mean, not bad. You don't really like people that much. I mean, you kind of do, but in situations you don't, you can just black contacts out.

[Ryan]

People.

[Miles]

People would avoid you.

[Jared]

Like a mood ring?

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah, kind of like a mood ring.

[Ryan]

Don't. Black means. Don't talk to me, Brahmins.

[Jared]

I just shit myself.

[Tyler]

So you got migraines. Like, why don't you have one right now?

[Ryan]

They. I don't know, comes and goes.

[Miles]

What are they caused by?

[Ryan]

You know, there's a bunch of theories. At one point in my life, I got my head scanned and I have a cyst in a sinus that apparently pushes on my brain.

[Tyler]

That's the cyste.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's the cysteine. But they don't think that should cause migraines. It should just cause regular.

[Tyler]

You have a cyst in your sinus. Great band.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Actually.

[Tyler]

Actually, you gotta be quicker on the draw on that, Jared.

[Jared]

Damn it.

[Tyler]

Cyst in the sinus.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So that.

[Ryan]

And like the one above your eyebrows, which would make sense because that's. I get the migraines right behind this eye and at the base of my skull. So that. That's what they thought it was originally. They gave me some medicine that was reduced inflammation. Didn't do. And then they thought that it was like, pinched nerves in my shoulder. And so that's why I get so many massages. And those. That does help. And then after this last one, someone.

[Miles]

Of a happy ending it was.

[Ryan]

Yep. And this last one, I went in again, and they're like, yeah, well, you.

[Tyler]

Can'T even bring up the word massage on this podcast.

[Jared]

Brain turns off.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I couldn't think about anything else. I have no idea what he said after that.

[Miles]

Go on.

[Ryan]

So this this last bout, I get them really like every day really bad for like a month. And then they shut off for like four or five months. So those are called cluster migraines. And I. This, this most recent batch has been pretty shitty. So I went in last week and they're like, yeah, you def. You're definitely pinching a nerve in your shoulder, but they're feeling around. They're like you're. Your spine is all out of whack.

[Tyler]

Scoliosis. So basically that's what we have to start doing around the office. We're gonna have to do monthly scoliosis checks.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Tyler]

You guys are gonna have to go with me into the bathroom, pull up your shirt, and I'll just run my finger along your spine to make sure everything's in order.

[Ryan]

No.

[Miles]

Yeah, I'll just take a level. He'll just take a level down our spine, see if. See if the bubble's in the middle.

[Jared]

Yeah, you just use your F1 for that.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So you got scoliosis.

[Ryan]

Something like that. They said my cervical spine is not aligned so I need to go to a chiropractor as I' also I've tried all kinds of medicines and those don't work.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean they're making. Yeah, they make good money.

[Ryan]

They sure do.

[Tyler]

You gotta. You maybe need a second opinion just because this doctor yours might be bought by big chiropractors.

[Ryan]

Could be.

[Tyler]

And this could just be getting another hamster on the wheel now.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But I'm having good luck chiropractor with my years though.

[Ryan]

I genuinely was going to ask you for your reference because we have the same insurance. So I know that it'll be accepted.

[Miles]

Covers first 20 visits.

[Ryan]

Perfect it so I can. I could paste 20 out a year. That'd be.

[Tyler]

Yeah. So do they tell you why your neck is crooked?

[Ryan]

No, they assume that it's how I sleep because I'm a side sleeper most of the time, sometimes on my stomach. So they said I need to get like a special pillow, like a cervical spine pillow.

[Miles]

My pillow, sorry.

[Ryan]

It's like a cube. And so there's like. If you turn it it on one side of the cube, it's for when you sleep on your side. They have to like measure my shoulder to my neck for this pillow. And then if you turn it again, it's for you laying on your back. And then they're also like, just stop sleeping on your stomach.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's not good.

[Ryan]

That was. Yeah.

[Miles]

Like why I'm all misaligned. My jaws misaligned. My right shoulder just lower.

[Tyler]

You guys sleep on your stomach?

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

Sometimes I couldn't.

[Miles]

Arm underneath the pillow on my stomach.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Head on the pillow. And then I. I hold another pillow when I'm on my stomach.

[Miles]

Like.

[Ryan]

Like.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

Football guy.

[Ryan]

High and tight.

[Miles]

Rear naked choke.

[Ryan]

Even in my sleep, pillow security is job security.

[Jared]

That's what I said.

[Ryan]

So they said not to buy the pillow until the chiropractor confirms, because the lady was like, I think your spine's out. Like, but that's not my thing. It just feels wrong. So go to a chiropractor and they'll tell you.

[Tyler]

You think they would have recommended a chiropractor earlier instead of masseuse?

[Ryan]

Yeah, the masseuse was. They mentioned the pinched nerve thing, and I went and did the masseuse on my own. I was like, I'll go try.

[Tyler]

So you're gonna keep going to the massage therapist?

[Ryan]

Not if the chiropractor works.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's.

[Miles]

But like, yeah, the ENT wasn't going to recommend a chiropractor. Yeah, for me.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Like, here's a bunch of medication.

[Ryan]

Right.

[Miles]

Stick this one up your ass three times a day. So I didn't. It didn't work.

[Ryan]

Jared said he'll help you with that. He's got long fingers.

[Miles]

We can do that. Doing monthly spine checks, Scoliosis checks. Yeah, yeah, spine checks.

[Ryan]

So that's the update.

[Tyler]

All right. So hopefully.

[Ryan]

My God. I don't think it's brain cancer.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

That's not off the table.

[Tyler]

But you did a scan.

[Ryan]

Yep. Yeah, but that was a while ago. It was like, what, three years ago? It was while I was working here.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

But if it was. If it was actually like brain cancer or some. It would be. I would have migraines. It wouldn't be these cluster ones.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Or just get them all the time. Well, I'll keep you guys posted.

[Miles]

T's and peasants.

[Tyler]

No, but, like, if you could have them on other days other than Mondays, I will record.

[Ryan]

I really try to have them at home so it doesn't interrupt our day.

[Tyler]

Save it for the. Ruin your weekend, not your week.

[Miles]

I mean, we should have done this. We should have kept you here last Monday and then did. Are you smarter than fifth grader? Because he's off.

[Ryan]

I would have.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

He's off during that. During that time.

[Tyler]

That is true.

[Ryan]

You know, I'm. I'm. I had one last night, so I should be good.

[Tyler]

So here's a question. Last thing I'll ask about this so we talked about last week. I don't know if we did it in private or on the podcast, but we. We said we should have miked you up for puking.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'm surprised you couldn't hear it. It was. It was Exorcist.

[Tyler]

Would you have been mad if we'd have slid a mic underneath the door?

[Jared]

Good question.

[Tyler]

No, I think you would.

[Miles]

Wait, we talked.

[Tyler]

Now you say that, but in the.

[Ryan]

Moment, if you guys have been like, knocking on the door, I've been like. Like off. I'm. I'm fighting for my life in here.

[Miles]

You got to see if you're seeing the truth or not, though.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you could ask the guys in the. The bullpen. They might have heard. It was. I was down bad in the bathroom and then I was. I was all right by the afternoon.

[Tyler]

How was your drive home?

[Ryan]

Not good. That was. I almost pulled over. I just one eyed it.

[Jared]

I mean, you drive with one foot. Why not one eye?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. Well, you said you set the cruise and you put your knee on the bottom of the steering wheel.

[Jared]

Yeah, Everybody does that.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I only put my hands on the steering wheel when my car tells me to. To move the wheels?

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

This thing.

[Ryan]

Yeah, they're gonna make something. You don't have to do that.

[Tyler]

All right, Jared, the long awaited. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? What are the rules again? How are we doing this?

[Jared]

Well, we've only done it once before.

[Miles]

And.

[Tyler]

How did we do it before?

[Jared]

I don't remember, but there. I do have a system here.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Jared. What. What if I would have left notes for my future self through you and you didn't even look it up?

[Jared]

Well, I knew we did it like around Christmas 2023.

[Tyler]

Okay, so it's been a few years.

[Miles]

Yeah, which. That doesn't really do anything for us.

[Tyler]

And how did. Do you remember at least how we fared?

[Jared]

I think Tyler won.

[Ryan]

Hell yeah.

[Jared]

What a. That's what I thought.

[Ryan]

So I'm the defending champ. I didn't even know we did it.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Nice.

[Tyler]

All right, what are the rules?

[Jared]

I'll ask you guys each five questions, and if there's a tie, I have a tiebreaker question.

[Miles]

And are we going all five straight or are we going in a circle?

[Jared]

Spelling be rules.

[Tyler]

Okay, so double elimination.

[Jared]

Well, we'll just. Well, I guess not really because each answer five and then there's a tie.

[Ryan]

We'll go. That's smart because then we. At least if you lose your first two, you still get to play.

[Tyler]

And we'll also do grades. If you get one or less, you get an F. 2 is A. D. 3 C. 4 is B. 5 is an A.

[Ryan]

Nice.

[Tyler]

So we'll also get grades.

[Jared]

It's a fun little wrinkle.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Are you. Are you pulling questions out of a hat again? Or are they predetermined?

[Jared]

I just have a listed order, so.

[Tyler]

So they're predetermined. He's gonna make a full immediate.

[Miles]

So who are you gonna make start based off of your list? Because it's.

[Jared]

We'll go first with Tyler. He won last time, so the first.

[Miles]

One is gonna be like, you know.

[Jared]

And then we'll go, who is the.

[Miles]

Author of Game of Thrones?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah. That's a fifth grader question.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

All right. Should we start?

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Jared]

All right, Tyler, what is the next prime number after seven?

[Ryan]

Easy. 13.

[Jared]

Final answer.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

11.

[Miles]

Yeah. I even. I even told you it wasn't 13. And then Jared said, final answer. You could have backed out.

[Ryan]

It was too. If. Even if I backed out, you wouldn't have lost me.

[Tyler]

Quit that. You. Like you're trying to help him.

[Miles]

No, I just. We're in the competition in spelling bees. We don't have a final answer call. It's just that. Okay, so you finish the work?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

What are we doing? Final answer.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

If I had to rescinded because of Ryan's comment, you guys wouldn't have let me have it anyway.

[Miles]

You're right.

[Jared]

Hot start. All right, Miles, what do we call the process of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly?

[Tyler]

This is.

[Miles]

Dude, I, I, In. In a sense, I feel bad for you.

[Tyler]

Do you know it?

[Ryan]

I feel like I should.

[Tyler]

All right, I'm gonna have a Jimmy Neutron brain blast here. Just give me. Give me a sec.

[Jared]

Give me 10 minutes.

[Tyler]

I know for a fact it's not photosynthesis. No.

[Miles]

Or chlorophyll. Chlorophyll.

[Tyler]

It's not mitochondria. Yeah. Can tell you that much because I know that's the powerhouse of the cell.

[Ryan]

You're narrowing it down. This is good.

[Tyler]

It's not chlorophyll.

[Jared]

Not boropil.

[Miles]

Chlorophyll. More like boropil.

[Tyler]

Okay, I. I feel like it's right there, but I can't even think of a word. Can't even think of a word for it. I gotta scrape my fourth grade science book here. Quick.

[Miles]

Fifth grade science book?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Sorry. Well, no, you should know this by fifth grade. This is, you know, beginning of the year stuff. Should know by fourth grade.

[Ryan]

Are you smarter than a fourth grader transitioning into fifth grade.

[Miles]

Are you smarter than a 4th grader? Yeah. Final answer.

[Tyler]

I don't even have a bead.

[Miles]

We gotta start a timer.

[Jared]

10 seconds.

[Tyler]

Metamorphosis.

[Jared]

Got it.

[Miles]

That's exactly what I was thinking, but I. I found Brain blast.

[Tyler]

Let's go.

[Miles]

That was impressive.

[Tyler]

I thought of it right away, and then I was like, I feel like that's for. Wrong rocks. Oh.

[Miles]

I was thinking it was for what. What was that, like, book or TV show or. It was like the caveman, like, morphing into.

[Ryan]

Was that anamorphs? Yes, when they turn into animals.

[Tyler]

Good thing I didn't say animorphs.

[Miles]

Yeah, animorphs. Not the answer.

[Ryan]

I just couldn't get Chrysalis out of my head.

[Tyler]

Yeah, because there's metamorphic rock, right?

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Hopefully I get that question next.

[Jared]

It's always better.

[Ryan]

More.

[Jared]

All right, Ryan, what US President is on the $20 bill.

[Miles]

Dollar is G dub, probation. Ten is Adams, I believe, and 20 is Ajack. Ajack, short for Andrew Jackson. Final answer.

[Jared]

Got it.

[Ryan]

Nice.

[Miles]

Now, if you would ask me what number President Ajak was, I would not have known.

[Tyler]

Now, so far, that is question that pertains to our life now.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Which is? Well, keep a running tally, too.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

You know, then we could decide if even being smart as a fifth grader is worth it.

[Ryan]

Right?

[Miles]

That's true.

[Ryan]

Is the school system failing our fifth graders? Yeah.

[Miles]

Is homeschooling a better option?

[Ryan]

What fifth grader needs to know. Metamorphosis.

[Tyler]

But also, why does it matter who's on the 20 bill?

[Ryan]

True.

[Tyler]

So. Actually, you know what? That doesn't matter either.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Who's what president is on my debit card? Hard. None of them.

[Tyler]

There you go. Nice one, Tyler.

[Jared]

Tyler, what is the boiling point of water in degrees? Celsius.

[Ryan]

Celsius.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Ryan]

100.

[Jared]

Got it.

[Miles]

See? Is it 272 for Fahrenheit?

[Ryan]

212. Fahrenheit.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Because at 211, it's just really hot water.

[Ryan]

Very hot.

[Tyler]

All right, so you got one. You're one for two.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Jared]

Miles, what was the name of the ship the Pilgrim sailed onto America?

[Tyler]

Mayflower.

[Ryan]

Got it.

[Miles]

Easy. I'm a fifth grader, sir.

[Tyler]

All right. I have a D. Hell, yeah. I got. I have a D secured.

[Miles]

Now you don't have to. You don't have to play any more of the game to pass the game.

[Tyler]

I know. That's what I would have done in college.

[Ryan]

He ran the notes he's just done.

[Tyler]

Miles.

[Ryan]

Gonna sit there.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Ryan. What part of a plant carries water from the roots to the rest of the plant?

[Miles]

What part of the plant carries water from the roots to the rest of the plant?

[Jared]

Yep. That was the question.

[Miles]

Yeah, I know. I'm. I'm asking it back to you to confirmation.

[Jared]

So what is it?

[Miles]

Classic find time second to think about it. Part of the plant. See, like, I don't know if I'm going to be scientifically correct with this one.

[Jared]

That'd be bad. It's a science's question.

[Miles]

Is it the veins?

[Jared]

It's the stem.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

I was like, there's no way it's that simple. But that's what I was.

[Miles]

That's exactly what I was gonna say. And they're like, well, this is. That's bad because this is a science question. So you. So actually, what you said that like, that threw me completely off. You can't be influencing answers on the. On during this game.

[Tyler]

You just tried to influence him. You did right off the bat. I gave you right off the bat.

[Miles]

Influence him in the best way possible.

[Tyler]

Hey, you can still get. You can still get a C. You're good.

[Jared]

You can still win, right?

[Ryan]

You can get a B. You got the first one right?

[Jared]

Yeah. You're doing.

[Miles]

You ask the questions and keep your mouth shut.

[Ryan]

I'm the only one that's got one wrong. Yeah.

[Jared]

Tyler, what is the southernmost continent?

[Ryan]

Antarctica.

[Jared]

Got it.

[Tyler]

That's okay. He needed a win.

[Miles]

What's the northernmost continent?

[Jared]

I didn't look that up. That's not on here.

[Miles]

That's smarter than sixth grade.

[Tyler]

That actually is.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Isn't it Antarctica?

[Jared]

Could be.

[Ryan]

No, Antarctica. South. It's on the South Pole. Whatever's on the North Pole.

[Tyler]

Russia would be Russia and Canada and Greenland are probably the closest around the whole top.

[Ryan]

Is he. Is Greenland a continent?

[Jared]

Probably be part of North America.

[Tyler]

That would be North America.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So North America or.

[Jared]

Yeah, maybe Asia.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Miles, what is the highest court in the United States?

[Tyler]

The Supreme Court.

[Jared]

Got it. Gotta see.

[Ryan]

That's backwards.

[Jared]

All right, Ryan, what is the process by which water turns into vapor?

[Miles]

Can. Can we. Can I get a different subject? Can we mix that up a little bit?

[Ryan]

Because you got this one.

[Tyler]

You got Andrew Jackson as the first one. You're fine.

[Miles]

Repeat the question.

[Jared]

What is the process by which water turns into vapor?

[Miles]

Boiling.

[Jared]

Close. It's evaporation.

[Tyler]

Vapor is in the word.

[Jared]

Evaporation.

[Miles]

I mean, when you're. Like, when you're. When you're boiling water, it's Evaporating. Correct. So.

[Ryan]

But water can evaporate even if it's not boiling.

[Tyler]

Correct.

[Jared]

So you got that one wrong.

[Tyler]

This is the fourth question that scared me.

[Ryan]

We have a glass attack from Ryan.

[Tyler]

That's our first ever glass attack in how many episodes?

[Jared]

This is 331.

[Tyler]

This is the first. That's actually maybe the first malicious thing that's ever happened on this podcast for our listeners.

[Ryan]

Ryan threw a water bottle at the glass separating him and Jerry pretty hard.

[Jared]

If it could have shattered and hit my face.

[Tyler]

And imagine how hard he would have thrown if you thrown it. Submarine.

[Ryan]

I think you threw it so fast, the water. That bottle evaporated.

[Tyler]

Yeah, there is some water on the. On the window, but don't worry, Ryan, we don't need to clean it up because it'll just evaporate.

[Jared]

Tyler, which body system includes the brain and spinal cord?

[Ryan]

The nervous system.

[Jared]

Got it.

[Tyler]

Nice.

[Ryan]

I should. I should know that after all my migraine talks.

[Tyler]

Oh, you got two. Correct. Of four.

[Ryan]

I'm three. Three. Of four.

[Tyler]

I got three or four. I'm three. Three. Ryan's one of three.

[Jared]

Yep. Miles. Which of these is an interjection quickly? Wow. Run soft.

[Tyler]

Read. Read the. Read the things again.

[Jared]

Which one. Which of these is an interjection quickly? Wow. Run soft.

[Tyler]

Quickly.

[Jared]

Nope.

[Tyler]

What was it?

[Jared]

Wow.

[Ryan]

Wow. I was gonna try to interject on you.

[Tyler]

I was thinking it was an exclamation.

[Ryan]

I thought you wanted him to repeat the question so you could interject with wow, and I thought that would have been really funny.

[Tyler]

Yeah, no, English is not my strong suit.

[Miles]

It's just your first language.

[Tyler]

It's the dumbest language on Earth.

[Miles]

That's what I'm saying. It's the hardest language to learn.

[Ryan]

It's the most complicated language.

[Miles]

Yeah, Mandarin's easy to learn. Easier to learn than English.

[Jared]

All right, Ryan, which planet is closest to the sun?

[Miles]

So easy. Dude, Mercury.

[Jared]

Got it.

[Ryan]

I actually didn't know that.

[Miles]

Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto.

[Jared]

I don't think I would have got that either.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Really?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

That's the easiest question that we've asked the whole time. Really?

[Ryan]

Yeah. I just read a book about how the, like, there's this parasite on the sun that was feeding off of Venus. So in my head, I was like, it's Venus. Because that's the closest one.

[Miles]

That's why they're probably talking about the Venus fly trap.

[Ryan]

No, but I. I genuinely didn't know that.

[Tyler]

Wow.

[Ryan]

Thank God you got it.

[Miles]

What a bunch of idiots. Jesus Christ.

[Jared]

Tyler. How many U.S. senators are there?

[Tyler]

Oh, this is a tough one. No, it's not for me.

[Ryan]

I get them mixed up with House of Representatives, but I think there's more in the House of Representatives. I think there's one governor per state. I think there's two senators per state. So I'm gonna go with a hundred.

[Jared]

Got it.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Reps is by population.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I was thinking reps.

[Miles]

There's 475.

[Jared]

Something like that.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I think it fluctuates, too.

[Tyler]

So what do you got? Four.

[Ryan]

I. I have. Yeah, that was my last question.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Four for five.

[Jared]

Four for five, and I'm three for four miles. What gas do plants absorb from the air during photosynthesis?

[Tyler]

Carbon dioxide.

[Jared]

Got it.

[Ryan]

Nailed it.

[Tyler]

Let's go.

[Miles]

I got a B. I just had greenhouse. That counts greenhouse gases.

[Ryan]

Is carbon dioxide a greenhouse gas?

[Jared]

I would say so, yeah.

[Ryan]

I don't know. That's this eighth grade question.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, well, it's just like boiling and evaporating. It's, you know.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Still mad about that.

[Miles]

What's the next question?

[Jared]

What's the name of the imaginary line that divides the Earth into northern and southern hemispheres? Got it.

[Tyler]

So you. Three of five.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Okay, so a sea average has got to be. You are as smart as a fifth grader. So Ryan's as smart as a fifth grader. And Tyler and I are both smarter than fifth grader.

[Ryan]

We're slightly smarter than the average fifth grader. We as.

[Tyler]

Now you give us a hundred questions.

[Ryan]

We. We might get up there. We would get 75%.

[Tyler]

Well, we get 80. We'd get 80%.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Ryan would only get 60%. We get 60.

[Miles]

I mean, I. I'll still crush a times table against any fifth grader.

[Tyler]

Yeah. There was no math questions.

[Ryan]

No.

[Jared]

Is that what.

[Ryan]

I got the prime number wrong right away.

[Jared]

I thought math questions would be a little weird thing.

[Tyler]

I go like this.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I don't. I don't remember how to do long division, so.

[Tyler]

Really?

[Ryan]

Yeah. Try to do it the other day.

[Miles]

You ever done schlong division?

[Tyler]

All right. Tiebreaker. Jared?

[Jared]

Yep. You might want to get your phones out and write this down.

[Tyler]

What?

[Miles]

How do we know we're not cheating, though?

[Ryan]

Honor system.

[Jared]

Honor system. I mean, in fifth grade, I'll just be like a number. You have to write. I'll asking something. You have to write down the number objectively.

[Miles]

You get a. You give a fifth grader a phone, they're going to cheat during a test.

[Jared]

I don't have any notepads.

[Ryan]

I have a sticky note right here. Do we have any pens?

[Tyler]

All right. Show that you're on your notes. Okay.

[Jared]

Okay. What's the population of Ireland? Closest one wins.

[Ryan]

Oh.

[Miles]

What, fifth graders don't know that?

[Ryan]

Apparently they do.

[Tyler]

Fifth graders don't know the population of Ireland. Can you pull up Ireland on a map?

[Jared]

Gotta be careful.

[Tyler]

They're not gonna show population.

[Jared]

They might on Google.

[Ryan]

It might. The AI thing. Well, you could.

[Miles]

You could pull it up, screenshot it, and then open the screenshot, pull it up behind the.

[Tyler]

You don't have to. You don't have to. You got a number down. Are we doing round numbers or.

[Miles]

No?

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'm. I'm going pretty round with it.

[Miles]

Okay, well, it's just. Yeah, it's just whoever's closest.

[Ryan]

Okay, I got my number.

[Miles]

If I get. If I win, can I guess? And if I win, I get back into the game?

[Jared]

I don't have another question, but, yeah, you'll find one.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I like it.

[Miles]

Let's.

[Tyler]

Let's do it.

[Miles]

All right. This is dodgeball rules.

[Tyler]

This is everlasting lightning.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Jared, you just have to Google on your phone another list of fifth grader questions.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

All right. I got my answer locked in. No fucking clue.

[Ryan]

Me either.

[Miles]

Me, too.

[Jared]

It is 5.3 million.

[Tyler]

Fuck, dude, what'd you do?

[Miles]

I decreased it by a million at the end.

[Jared]

What's your say, Ryan?

[Miles]

3.5 million.

[Ryan]

I went 16 million.

[Tyler]

I went 38 million.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

So Ryan won.

[Tyler]

He's back in. We're back in.

[Ryan]

Let's go.

[Tyler]

My thought process was like, okay. Like, slightly over 10% of the US was where my head went.

[Ryan]

Yeah. So my head. Right away, I was.

[Tyler]

That's kind of why I wanted to see a visual. Because if I would have seen the land size, I probably would have gotten much smaller.

[Ryan]

Because I feel like we've talked about populations before, and I've always been grossly under. So I. My gut right away was 5 million, and I was like, no, I got to jack that up.

[Tyler]

That's like, how many. How many millions of people are in New York City?

[Ryan]

Right? Like, I think. What are they? It's 3 million.

[Jared]

It's like 11 million.

[Tyler]

Jesus, just look how easy it'd be to run a country with three. With five million people.

[Jared]

I think Canada's like 20 million or 30 million.

[Tyler]

Yeah. What the hell?

[Miles]

Land mass. I had four and a half. All right, so I'm back in.

[Tyler]

Four out of five with an asterisk.

[Jared]

So just another round, then.

[Ryan]

Hail Mary ball.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Jared]

Okay. Ryan, what year did the Titanic sink?

[Tyler]

Oh. Oh, we're going, like, round, round. Another tiebreaker.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

Let's do another round.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Yeah, Go answer that question.

[Miles]

Ryan, do you know this?

[Jared]

If you're within a year, I think I'll give it to you.

[Miles]

What year did the Titanic sink?

[Jared]

What year did the Titanic sink?

[Miles]

1892.

[Jared]

1912.

[Tyler]

I was gonna say 1913. Let's go. All right.

[Jared]

B asterisk.

[Tyler]

Yeah. B asterisk.

[Jared]

Tyler, which ocean is the largest in the world?

[Ryan]

Oh, God. Which one's bigger?

[Tyler]

I know my answer.

[Ryan]

The Pacific.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Thank God it was a 50. 50 Atlantic. Or.

[Tyler]

Here we go. Comes down to this. Ryan's out.

[Miles]

I could get back in, though. If you. If you get the tiebreaker. If you get it right.

[Ryan]

Fight.

[Miles]

And there's tiebreaker.

[Tyler]

Well, you're saying one tie, all tie.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

We're playing bar dice here.

[Jared]

These are pretty easy.

[Tyler]

Give it to me. Just throw them out.

[Jared]

Who is the famous civil rights leader known for his I have a dream speech?

[Tyler]

Oh, Martin Luther King. That's Junior.

[Ryan]

Junior.

[Tyler]

Oh, let's go.

[Miles]

These are all pretty easy. Let's give me that Titanic question.

[Tyler]

I got. I would have got that right.

[Ryan]

That's true.

[Jared]

I'm gonna get a little harder questions here, quick.

[Miles]

Well, it's tiebreaker, right?

[Ryan]

No.

[Tyler]

I can't believe we let him back in. What are we doing?

[Ryan]

Tyler, Rules are rules we're making. Entertaining.

[Tyler]

I mean, it would just be the largest asterisk anyone's ever seen. If he does win, which river is.

[Jared]

The longest river in the world?

[Miles]

Who's this question for you? Oh, I just get an individual question.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we're going around.

[Miles]

It's the Amazon.

[Jared]

It is the Nile.

[Tyler]

I. I wasn't supposed to laugh, remember? I left a note after the spelling.

[Ryan]

Bee to not laugh.

[Tyler]

To not laugh, remember?

[Jared]

Let's see. Tyler, what is the hardest natural substance on earth?

[Ryan]

Diamond.

[Jared]

Got it.

[Tyler]

That's what I would have said. Oh.

[Jared]

What is the main function of red blood cells?

[Ryan]

Good one.

[Tyler]

To bring oxygen to your body.

[Jared]

Got it.

[Tyler]

Scientists. Ryan, you're out.

[Miles]

What's the answer on the. On the deal? Because you said wondering if it was close enough.

[Jared]

Yeah, I was waiting for the answer.

[Miles]

I have a question for you. When this is all said and done, you're out.

[Tyler]

You're done.

[Miles]

No, I know I'm done. I never. I never tried to get back in. I'm off the gym class, you guys. I got enough extra credit this year already.

[Ryan]

I'm off the gym class playing dodgeball.

[Miles]

Right I'm actually gonna get to lunch first now. So this is the class before lunch, and you guys are gonna eat last.

[Tyler]

Because white blood cells carry antibodies, fight.

[Ryan]

Viruses, and I know that because of Osmosis. Jones.

[Jared]

Who's next?

[Ryan]

Me.

[Jared]

Tyler, who was the first female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom?

[Ryan]

Are you kidding me?

[Miles]

It's just.

[Ryan]

It's so Margaret Thatcher.

[Jared]

Got it. Nailed it.

[Tyler]

Actually.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I just knew she was one. I didn't know she was the first one.

[Tyler]

I wouldn't even known she was. I thought she was an odd author.

[Miles]

Holy.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Brain blast.

[Tyler]

God damn it.

[Jared]

Let's see which. All right, Miles. Which mountain range separates Europe from Asia?

[Tyler]

Oh, God. This. The Alps.

[Jared]

The Euro Mountains.

[Ryan]

I knew that one.

[Tyler]

The Alps are next to it. Or what?

[Jared]

I don't.

[Ryan]

Switzerland.

[Tyler]

That's the only mountain range in. In Europe. I know.

[Miles]

The swissies.

[Tyler]

Yeah. So $1, Tyler.

[Jared]

One with Margaret Thatcher.

[Ryan]

Hell yeah, Margaret. Oh, Margie, I will.

[Tyler]

I am glad to say that I do believe Tyler and I are smarter than a fifth grader. I think we can confidently say that.

[Ryan]

I feel good about it.

[Miles]

Yeah. And I'm getting pick first at recess.

[Ryan]

So unless you pull your groin.

[Tyler]

Yeah, by me. Who's the captain?

[Miles]

Well, no, because you're.

[Ryan]

You're in. You're.

[Tyler]

Yeah. What was the answer to that? The Ural.

[Jared]

Euro Mountains.

[Tyler]

I don't know. I don't even.

[Ryan]

And it's the E, U, R, A.

[Tyler]

L. U, R, L. Huh? Yeah, it's not even. Not even registering in my brain. All right, well, I'm comfortable with losing on that.

[Miles]

All right, Jared.

[Tyler]

I confidently didn't know that one.

[Ryan]

I think. I think those are two good. I think those are equally hard.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

The last two questions.

[Tyler]

Like I said, I thought Margaret Thatcher was just an author.

[Jared]

That sounds like an author, dude. Yeah, she probably has written a book. So you weren't wrong.

[Miles]

I got a question for you now, Jared.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

What? And this. These are. What's this called? Riddles for Toddlers. So What? What has 13 hearts but no lungs, feet, or belly buttons?

[Jared]

Caterpillar.

[Miles]

Deck of cards.

[Ryan]

Oh, a toddler's not gonna get that.

[Tyler]

Hey, hammer them. Keep going. Okay.

[Miles]

What five letter. What? Five letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?

[Ryan]

Can I answer?

[Miles]

Nope.

[Jared]

I have no idea.

[Ryan]

Short.

[Miles]

The answer is short.

[Ryan]

Oh.

[Miles]

What is always in front of you but can never be seen?

[Jared]

Your future.

[Miles]

That's correct.

[Tyler]

Let's go. You're smarter than a toddler.

[Miles]

That's correct. Okay, here. The last one. The one who makes me cannot Use me. The one who buys me will always buy me for someone else. The one who uses me doesn't know it. What am I?

[Jared]

I have no idea.

[Miles]

A coffin.

[Tyler]

Oh, okay. Wow.

[Jared]

That's creative.

[Tyler]

I. You lie. It was too long. I checked out. That one was.

[Miles]

That's all I got.

[Tyler]

All right. Is that it? Jared, you got a fun fact?

[Jared]

Fun fact. In 1905, an 11 year old boy named Frank Epperson left a cup of soda with a stirring stick on his porch overnight. The chili night air froze the mixture and by morning the first popsicle then called the EPS Sickle was born. Years later, Frank's own kids started calling it's it Pops Sickle. And the name stuck.

[Ryan]

So that goes to show that we are correct calling it pop and not soda because they didn't call that a soda. Sickle.

[Tyler]

It's true.

[Miles]

That's right. I wonder how they.

[Tyler]

Or were they saying this is Pops's ickle. You know, like Father Pop. Because that's what his kids. Yeah, like Pops.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's what it is.

[Jared]

Yeah. Cuz they call them pops and then they.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but also it's pop, not soda.

[Jared]

Soda pop also works.

[Miles]

Wonder how they came up. They came up with the name the Bomb Pop. Some.

[Ryan]

Oh yeah. They look like a torpedo. Those red, white and blue ones.

[Miles]

Yeah. I know someone. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Oh, like they come in the yellow box.

[Ryan]

I think so.

[Tyler]

I didn't know they were called bomb pops.

[Miles]

Aren't they the red, white and blue ones?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Those are good.

[Jared]

The blue's the best.

[Miles]

Fourth of July, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Patriotism.

[Jared]

I don't like the white part of it though. It's not very tasty.

[Ryan]

Wonder what flavor it even is.

[Jared]

Probably mountain berry.

[Miles]

What flavor is white Gatorade.

[Jared]

Mountain berry, I think.

[Tyler]

I think it's like a citrus. Ain't it it. It's like white monsters of citrus.

[Ryan]

Is it?

[Jared]

It's delicious.

[Ryan]

I thought the flavor was just white.

[Tyler]

All right, well guys, thanks for tuning in. Ryan lost. Me and Tyler pretty much tied.

[Miles]

Well, you lost, Tyler won.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but we pretty much tied. So I think I'll give the. That. Tyler, I think I'll give the. What would be the trophy.

[Miles]

I think Tyler won because he has a child closest to fifth grade.

[Tyler]

The golden notebook is shared by me and Tyler because we gave up. I quit at the end and just said, you want to do a tie?

[Ryan]

I think I just won. I also just want to. Are you as mature as a fifth grader?

[Tyler]

So golden notebook. Another Win in the competition column for myself and Tyler.

[Miles]

Does that have a. Does it piss you off?

[Ryan]

No.

[Miles]

It, it should.

[Ryan]

It doesn't. Everyone knows. They listen to the episode. They know who won.

[Jared]

They know the real.

[Tyler]

That's true.

[Miles]

That's true, Tyler.

[Tyler]

Let's see any notes I'd like to leave myself for next year notes.

[Miles]

You can't leave them in the golden one because that's Tyler's.

[Tyler]

I think we got to draw from a hat.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Think we got to draw from a hat or a randomizer of some sort.

[Ryan]

I, I, I actually have a real suggestion we should do. Each question should be a different topic. So like, we first question, we all get science and then we all get history.

[Tyler]

We should know we need to do. We need to all there needs to be where we all get the same questions. Like a multiple choice chat test. Like it's a real school.

[Ryan]

Like Jared makes us a worksheet and then we just reveal our.

[Tyler]

So there's a verbal portion and a written portion of it.

[Miles]

I like that, that.

[Tyler]

So next year we'll have the verbal portion and then we'll have a written part where we'll take 10 minutes, 10.

[Miles]

Questions, and we turn it in in the front.

[Ryan]

We are not cutting out that dead air. Yeah, it stays in.

[Miles]

I like that everyone gets the same questions.

[Tyler]

Yeah. We should do a test.

[Jared]

You can go wherever in the room to make yourself comfortable.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I'm rigging folders and I'm setting them up because Ryan's definitely going to cheat off me because he did the worst this year by a long shot.

[Ryan]

What if instead of a written portion, we just each take the test individually with Jared alone? Like the other two go out.

[Tyler]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Because, like, I'm smarter than teacher. This is the way it goes.

[Miles]

What dictates how smart we are on the segment is the questions that Jared picks so he can. He can totally anybody during this whole thing.

[Jared]

I, I think out of the hat would help.

[Tyler]

Randomizer and original and. Yeah. 10. A 10 question pop quiz. Popsicle quiz.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So popsicle book that for next year.

[Jared]

Okay. This is the first year we're doing it or the second time, so room for improvement.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Wow.

[Tyler]

All right, guys, thanks for tuning into another episode of you Bet your Radio. Have a great week and we'll see you next one.

[Jared]

Gotcha. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

As a pest control professional, if a customer check bounces, should I put termites back on the property?

[Tyler]

Undo the work power, wash all of the spray. You did whole thing. Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. What would you do in that situation.

[Ryan]

Pump their house full of bees.

[Tyler]

I think you need to stop accepting checks. I think you need to live in 20, 25 and just send them a link to pay.

[Jared]

That's a little on you then if you're accepting checks.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Or just say you want a cashier's check.

[Jared]

There you go.

[Tyler]

It's either cashier's check or you gotta.

[Ryan]

Pay with a card in front of me. But then what if the card gets declined? Do you pump the bugs back in?

[Tyler]

I didn't fight them.

[Miles]

Yeah, I think you gotta take them to the ground. You have to at least double double leg, possibly single leg, depending on situation how they're standing. Yeah, you gotta take them to the ground.

[Tyler]

Or hold one of his kids hostage.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. That's the pest control. You're now controlling his pest. And he won't get it back unless you pay me my money.

[Jared]

Leverage again.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I think also, like, just choose better clients maybe. I don't know. Yeah, Hang out and hang out in nicer neighborhoods. You know, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be trying to spray double wides then. If you're running into this issue a lot. Not to say that their checks are bouncing, but. But sin.

[Ryan]

If there's an excessive amount of pests and they haven't got it fixed yet, good chance it could bounce. Like if they've just been living in the termites for five years.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's a great question as well. How long has this been an issue? And they're like, oh, at least a three quarter decade scenario here. And then you're like seven and a half years you've been dealing with this. There's no way this check is cash.

[Jared]

See ya.

[Tyler]

See ya. Well, looks like it's gonna probably be seven and a half plus one days. Seven and a half years. Plus one day that you're gonna have to deal with this because I'm out.

[Miles]

But also before I take off, did you want to fight? Because I'll fight you right now.

[Ryan]

If you win pest control on me, then you just spray them with the pest stuff and you win.

[Tyler]

That would be actually a great option. So. So you, you get to the end, you hand on the bill and you're like, all right, before I hand you this bill, now offer you a deal. You put me in a headlock, it's free. If you don't put me, you can pay this or you can fight me, put me in a headlock, it's free. If you don't and you fight me, then it's Actually double. It's great.

[Miles]

We pad the street record too, because then no one's going to with you. You, you know, you get hats made. You know, Floyd, you wear the 50, wears a 50 and 0 hat, get.

[Jared]

Like five fights a day, but you're.

[Tyler]

Just, you're just filthy rich. Deal.

[Miles]

You're rich though, you know, with some, you lose some.

[Jared]

It's like an old granny is one of them.

[Ryan]

Yeah, just like your only, your only clients are MMA professionals and they just beat the out of you for free. Care there he's getting.

[Miles]

Oh, man.

[Tyler]

I knew I shouldn't have started pest control business right next to the UFC facility.

[Jared]

Stupid.

[Ryan]

Stupid.

[Tyler]

That was dumb. I hate this policy.

[Ryan]

Why did I put my card on the bulletin board at the boxing gym?

[Tyler]

Those Jiu Jitsu can suck.

[Jared]

My ass was kicking around.

[Tyler]

Oh, man.

[Ryan]

So I hope that helps.

[Jared]

Yeah. Chief Queef, does anyone else seem like the first three quarters of your garbage can fills in about two days, but the last quarter you can just keep smashing it down for about a week?

[Tyler]

I actually, I had that thought this last weekend. I. You show up, you start throwing some stuff in there, you're like this, I'm gonna have to take this out. Then you take like a plate and then you just jam it down. You're like, I just created more a bigger garbage can. Just do it over and over again.

[Miles]

You know what's best, you know what's best for the, the smash method is the disposable like cake pan type deals like the, the aluminum. The aluminum ones? Yeah, the throwaway ones. Cuz those you like, some of them, they fit like exactly down in the garbage. So you can go from three quarters full to like a third full.

[Tyler]

Well, I think actually a good idea. So you, you should just. We should just make a tool. This is a whole business that we just thought of. The, the, the human garbage, just like smash her downer thing.

[Ryan]

Oh, no, you, you do. You take it. So like the lid, lid has like a, a plunger sort of deal. So you flip up the handle and you just push it down through the lid and then you pull that thing back up and it's compressed.

[Jared]

Oh yeah, like a can crusher type thing.

[Ryan]

Yeah, exactly.

[Tyler]

That's actually not bad.

[Ryan]

Not at all.

[Tyler]

Well, I'm thinking for home garbages, all you have to do is just make a thing that. This is shaped like a garbage can with a little handle on it. I just. You just have it in your kitchen somewhere.

[Miles]

What if you get like, like moldy cottage cheese or something on it? It is the toss in the sink or what? Because it's going to be. I mean it'll be pretty.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I think at that point we just go back to tried and true. The NBA sticky pad that you peel off stuff but just don't make it sticky on the one side.

[Miles]

Yes, it's a great idea.

[Tyler]

They're double sided. You know, you just do one side.

[Miles]

Because then miles, then you like you sell like the, the crusher and then, and then they do.

[Ryan]

They make garbage cans that do it for you now or you just press a button and it compresses it for you.

[Tyler]

Well, my grandma had one like. Like that's a old technology. But who's gonna install one of those?

[Ryan]

You know, it's 200. It's just a plug in garbage can and then it's got a thing in the lid that lowers compresses your garbage for you. It goes back up into the lid.

[Tyler]

Well, it used to be a trash compactor was what people would put like my grandma had one installed in her kitchen. This is like a thing like it looked like a. Almost like a dishwasher. Like a thin, a skinny dishwasher.

[Miles]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

Yep. Yeah.

[Tyler]

And you press a button.

[Miles]

My wife's gram's got one of them.

[Tyler]

So just, just do a manual one way cheaper. You sell a little plunger for like 12 bucks?

[Miles]

Well, yeah. Oh yeah. Well then you got. You get them on the subscription with the. The tear offs.

[Tyler]

Tear offs subscription. And then it's just, just Amazon, fba. We're just chilling, just collecting millions.

[Jared]

I think big garbage is going to assassinate you though. You're compact and trash.

[Ryan]

They put you right in the middle of their landfill.

[Tyler]

Yeah, lot.

[Miles]

I mean Tyler, to your point about the plugin, a lot. A lot of garbage cans are like in islands or like in cabinetry nowadays.

[Tyler]

Freeze your ass. You know, Big garbage. We can take them down guys. If you want more, you bet your radio. You gotta check out our Patreon. You gotta go to patreon.com you betch radio or look us up on the app and we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you gotta check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.