Colorado Vs. The Midwest 🎙 #340

Summary

You Betcha Radio Podcast: “Colorado Vs. The Midwest” 🎙 #340

Date: August 20, 2025
Host: Myles the You Betcha Guy
Co-Hosts: Ryan, Tyler, Jerrod

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Overview

In this comedy-packed episode, the “You Betcha Radio” crew—Myles, Ryan, Tyler, and Jerrod—dive deep into the playful, sometimes heated rivalry between Colorado and the Midwest. The gang riffs on midwest nostalgia, outdoors lifestyles, regional quirks, and the hilarious realities of dad and man culture. This episode blends relatable stories about family life, road trips, culinary customs, and wild wedding antics, all colored by their laid-back, irreverent banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Midwest Moods: Weather and Swearing (00:00–02:15)

• Discussion opens with jokes about letting the weather dictate your mood.
• Swearing is a recurring bit—Ryan laments how his kid mimics the salty language from the podcast, bringing up a past attempt (“Mutiny”) to curb cussing, which failed hilariously.
  • “I can't pretend to be someone I'm not.” – Ryan [01:41]

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2. Culture Clash: Colorado vs. Midwest Outdoor Life (02:19–08:16)

• Tourist Expectations: Myles visited Colorado expecting open marijuana culture (“not offered weed once!” [02:29]) and notes it’s less in-your-face than stereotypes suggest.
• Outdoors Differences:
  • Midwest: Outdoor activities have a “purpose” (hunting, fishing, drinking).
    • “They see a delicious fruit, they're like... I'm like, let's char this sucker up.” – Myles on grilling peaches [11:36]
  • Colorado: More focused on hiking, kayaking, enjoying nature for its own sake.
    • “We're gonna go walk in the woods, but we're gonna do it with a shotgun in case a grouse pops up. Whereas Colorado's just doing it with walking sticks.” – Myles [03:41]
• Recreation: Midwest prefers gas-powered toys (trucks, ATVs); Coloradoans love biking, even in winter.
  • “We're driving Ford F150s... they're driving Toyota Tacomas.” [06:54]

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3. Food, Gas Stations & Farmer's Markets (08:32–12:20)

• Superiority Complex: Midwest gas stations = elite. The group bemoans Colorado’s preference for fresh markets and jokes about transforming Midwest gas station fare into “artisanal” meals.
  • “We are killing it in the gas station.” [09:10]
  • “Charles Wagon’s a good one.” – On fake gas station food pop-ups at farmers markets [10:37]
• Regional Produce: Talks Palisade peaches vs. Midwest sweet corn, leading to a Midwest take on grilling fruit.
  • “Cut a peach in half... fill the pit with brown sugar, throw it on the grill.” [11:54]

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4. Snow & Ice: The Recreation Divide (12:59–14:36)

• Snow: Colorado uses its snow for skiing and mountain sports; Midwesters just shovel it.
  • “We just take snow and we move it. The only thing we do with snow is move it out of the way...” – Myles [13:14]
• Ice: Midwest = kings of ice fishing and hockey, something Colorado can’t match due to geography.

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5. Regional Stereotypes & Anecdotes (15:14–16:26)

• Story of the “420 Cave,” a legendary stoner locale in Colorado.
  • “That’s the Colorado we signed up for.” – Myles [15:14]

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6. Football Picks & PrizePicks Segment (16:26–18:54)

(Sports banter and podcast sponsor segment—brief mention only.)

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7. Wild Weddings, Hotel Hijinks, and Ice Bucket Challenge (19:52–68:05)

• Myles and Jared discover they’re both attending the same wedding, sparking an extended riff on possible antics:
  • Hunting for the "table to be at," starting a conga line, dollar dances, body shot contests, “ice bucket challenge” with hotel ice buckets and Windsor whiskey.
    • “If you don't think that me, Jared, and our other buddy are starting a conga line, you're dreaming.” – Myles [58:08]
• Planning for chaos: pranking the bride & groom’s hotel room, playing catch through hotel rooms, inventing new "challenges," and bingeing on continental breakfast.
• “It's like the first hurrah and the last hurrah all in one.” – Myles [60:25]
• Midwest wedding gear discussions—vests, pocket watches, and cringe at wearing all black.

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8. Dad Life: Go-Karting, Kids, and Family (22:18–26:56)

• Ryan recounts going go-karting with his 3-year-old, including epic “aggressive passing” against teens (and a crash):
  • “I just had to make it my mission to pass as many of them as I could.” – Ryan [23:29]
  • “It's a perseverance type of deal.” – Ryan on teaching his son [24:38]
• Differences between idea of “chill weekends” and the reality: dads make everything competitive.

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9. Rummage Sale Entrepreneurship & Wooden Swords (33:36–47:56)

• Tyler details his weekend rummage sale ($500 profit), puzzles outselling expectations, baby clothes underwhelming, and talks of creating handmade wooden swords.
  • “I just know that when people finally see my swords, I'm going to end up in a loop from the outdoor boy situation...” – Tyler [39:33]
• Teasing Tyler about starting an Etsy sword business; debates the economics and required tools (planer).
  • “Every good business starts with a guy saying, I don’t want this.” – Myles [39:08]

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10. Listener Mail: The Charcuterie Board Dilemma (80:40–88:37)

• A listener asks for help with an overabundance of wedding charcuterie boards (13 and counting).
  • Ideas include: selling them at street fairs, repurposing as cutting boards, re-gifting, making coasters, or even using them as TV trays.
  • “Just pull out the charcuterie board and break it over your head. God damn it.” [88:24]
  • “If you have a table that's kind of tippy, just slide one of those [under].” [86:47]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “We deserve Colorado. Colorado just... they're just not using Colorado right.” – Myles [05:30]
• “When the regional civil war breaks out, Colorado's got to be our first land grab.” – Tyler [06:02]
• “If I was 6’7”, I’d probably use my height better than other people with the... That's the height. Six, seven.” – Myles [05:49]
• “Imagine what the Midwest could do if we had Colorado.” – Myles [07:24]
• “We already have the flat parts. We want the mountains too.” – Tyler [06:11]
• “My freezer would be so full of elk meat if I lived in Colorado.” – Tyler [07:43]
• “Talk to your child right now.” – Jerrod, ribbing Ryan about swearing [08:12]
• “It's not about what you drive, it's about how you drive.” – Myles [30:04]
• “We’d make a killing at a farmers market pop-up with gas station food.” – Group consensus [10:16]
• “Every good business starts with a guy saying, ‘I don’t want this.’” – Myles [39:13]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–02:15 — Weather, swearing, and podcast “integrity”
• 02:19–14:36 — Colorado vs. Midwest outdoors, lifestyle differences
• 08:32–12:20 — Gas station/grocery store food, Palisade peaches
• 15:14–16:26 — Legendary Colorado “420 Cave” story
• 19:52–68:05 — Wedding planning, hotel hijinks, ice bucket challenge, and man-child shenanigans
• 22:18–26:56 — Dad talk: go-kart stories and competitive fatherhood
• 33:36–47:56 — Rummage sale stories, the accidental sword business
• 80:40–88:37 — Listener mail: too many charcuterie boards, creative solutions

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Tone & Style

The episode is irreverent, nostalgic, and unapologetically Midwest. Jokes flow freely and the unfiltered rapport between hosts is a highlight. They poke fun at stereotypes but also show a fondness for Midwest traditions and quirks. The humor is self-deprecating, with lots of inside jokes and recurring bits (like swearing, dad life, and homemade swords).

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For First-Time Listeners

This episode is a classic showcase of the You Betcha crew’s love for Midwest culture and their camaraderie. Whether it’s poking fun at regional stereotypes, riffing about wedding mischief, or fiercely defending Casey’s over any hipster farmer’s market, you’ll get a hearty dose of relatable, comedic takes on the everyday lives of “midwest guys.” If you crave laughs about hunting, grilling, ice fishing, or the universal struggle of adult puzzle-building and wedding excess, this episode is not to be missed.

Transcript

[A]

All right, guys, welcome back to another episode of the you Betcha Radio podcast. The boys are back in town. Ryan, how you feeling, buddy?

[B]

Feel good, man. Feel good. Don't let the weather outside determine your mood.

[A]

I wasn't even thinking about the weather.

[B]

Well, I was, obviously.

[A]

Didn't I say on a previous podcast that the weather does affect my mood?

[C]

Yeah, you got it from your movie.

[D]

You got it from your mom.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When I was thinking on the way in, when it was Sprinkler and whatever, I'm like, I gotta tell these guys, don't let it affect your mood, because if I, I don't tell you, then you're going to let it affect your mood, and then. And then the whole day is, you.

[D]

Know, and then we should be pissed on sunny days.

[B]

Yeah. Also, I got a cuss. We should have a cus jar for myself because for some reason, my wife the other day decided to listen to you Bet your Radio with my child in the car. And I mean, he's just on repeat everything that I say.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

And so the amount of. Of mistakes that I made.

[C]

Yeah, she's gotta keep your kid off of Patreon.

[B]

I told her, I said, I said we should. We probably shouldn't be playing YBR in the pot in the car when the kids are. I'm just.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, now we're just sacrificing the integrity of the podcast because Ryan's can't keep his kid from listening. I mean, what.

[B]

I know. Well, I, I, I just told. I said we can't just. We just. We can't be having that on in the background. Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Pop one airpod in when you're driving.

[B]

If you want to listen to it. Yeah. Yep.

[D]

We could bring back the Mutiny thing or you swear.

[B]

No, we're going to continue on. We're going to continue on.

[A]

You know, what was the Mutiny bed?

[C]

We tried for two episodes to not swear, and you made pe. You would mute us if we swear.

[B]

Was it your mom or somebody who's, like, cuss too much? That's just who I am, though. I can't pretend to be someone I'm not.

[A]

So. Yeah, I mean, you could just yell ear muffs before you. Before you swear.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's like. It's the spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. You know? Yeah.

[C]

We say earmuffs after we drop swear words. Spoilers.

[A]

We're doing good so far, though. We'll see how it holds up.

[B]

Yeah. 1s word so far.

[A]

So if Ryan's kid's listening. Hello, Ryan's kid.

[C]

Ear muffs, buddy.

[A]

Ear muffs. Probably now for the next hour. Hour 15 or so. Tune.

[C]

Tune in for the song at the end.

[A]

Yeah, well, that might also have swear words. So maybe. I just came back from Colorado.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

And I wasn't even offered weed one time.

[C]

Not a single time.

[A]

You know, I thought I would get off the airplane and there would be a guy rolling a doobie right there in the terminal.

[B]

It's kind of the expectation with his brother.

[A]

I mean, I went to Jamaica one time, and I literally got two steps off of the airplane, and they were offering me.

[B]

I think that's.

[A]

This is Jamaica more like Colorado than Colorado is.

[B]

I think that's just the level of entrepreneurship in Jamaica versus Colorado.

[C]

Everyone in Colorado is too stoned to offer anything. They're also be true.

[A]

Yeah, Colorado is an interesting state. You know, it's kind of. I feel like you got the flat part. That's just the Midwest. And then you start getting to the mountains and they. It's. It's kind of funny because I feel like both the Midwest and Colorado love the outdoors, but for completely different reasons. Colorado likes to enjoy the outdoors. Midwesterners like to enjoy the outdoors, but they also need to be harvesting some sort of animal.

[B]

That's a good point.

[A]

You know, we're gonna go walk in the woods, but we're gonna do it with a shotgun in case a grouse pops up. Whereas Colorado's just doing it with walking sticks. You know, like, what are they gonna do, beat a deer with a walking stick?

[C]

They could try.

[A]

You know, they'll go kaying down a river. We need to sit in an inner tube with a case of beer and go down the river.

[C]

Correct. Or if we are kaying, it's because we're fishing.

[A]

Correct. And they'll fish, you know, to appreciate and to pull a. A fish out, enjoy it, send it back. We're looking for a fish fry, you know, that's coming. Yep. Go ahead.

[C]

We caught our shore lunch. They packed it in a little Ziploc biodegradable bag of granola. That was their shore lunch.

[A]

And we went to a res, like a lake reservoir as well. The lakes are owned by the government. No cottages on the lake.

[C]

That's actually kind of.

[A]

It was kind of nice.

[C]

Yeah, I've been on that one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Kind of sick.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. When. And, like, when they're in water, it' I don't feel like they're drinking enough in water. Like, Miles is here in the Midwest. They're a Lot of the times they got waders and a fishing rod. Fly. Fishing rod. Trying to catch salmon or trout off, off the shore.

[A]

It's true.

[C]

They just. Yeah, they, they don't get the thrill of the kill like us because they're all cheeched out of their minds. Everything's peace loving, which is good.

[B]

We don't want them, you know, we don't want them Stock in an elk. Yeah, they're, you know, I'm like doobie deep.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

We don't want to yuck their yum.

[B]

No. God, no. No.

[C]

It's funny, my grandpa lived in Colorado for a long time and all he did was hunt. He's like, do you take the Midwest guy and put them in Colorado and what do they do with the nature they hunt.

[A]

It's like we, we deserve Colorado. Colorado just. They're just not using Colorado. Right.

[B]

I would agree.

[A]

We would be using it so much better, you know?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, you know, if I was 6, 7, I probably would use my height better than other people with the. That's the height. Six, seven.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Like we, we, we deserve Colorado.

[C]

I mean when the, when the, the regional civil war breaks out, Colorado's got to be our first land grab.

[A]

It should be. Yeah, we should.

[B]

I've taken a heartbeat.

[C]

We already have the flat parts. We want the mountains too.

[A]

It's not enough.

[D]

And the airport.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, it's like. What is it like a 14 hour drive from here that ain't.

[C]

It's really not long. Yeah.

[A]

And also one thing I notice is Colorado loves man powered stuff and we love gas powered stuff. A lot of biking going on. I was talking to a guy and he said that they even bike to work in the winter.

[C]

Why?

[B]

And they're. They're riding pedal bikes. We're right. If we're riding a bike, it's going to be electric. Like we're just going to hit the throttle and.

[A]

Or a dirt bike or a side by side.

[B]

A car or a car.

[C]

Car.

[A]

Truck.

[B]

Yeah. Four wheel automobile.

[A]

You know, we're driving Ford F150s and Chevy Silverados here in the Midwest. They're driving Toyota Earmuffs. They're driving Toyota Tacomas.

[C]

Also they have a monopoly on Chevy Colorado's.

[A]

Oh yeah, yeah. That's true.

[B]

Yeah. But I don't feel like they're utilizing.

[C]

They're not.

[B]

That's why we deserve Colorado because we are. And you, I mean, you're a testament to that.

[C]

Tyler, great pickup.

[A]

So. Yeah, I was just, I thought it was interesting. You Know, imagine what the Midwest could do if we had Colorado. Imagine where we'd be in life if we had all of the things that Colorado has.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, we. We wouldn't be just a Passover state at that point. No. Be a destination.

[C]

My freezer would be so full of elk meat. If I lived in Colorado, 100%, it would never run out.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, that people are going to the. They're going to the store to buy Solomon hiking shoes. We're going to the store to buy Danner so we can ear load, you know, ear muffs. Gosh. Just that. That's who I am. Okay. He's got to accept that at this point.

[D]

Talk to your child right now.

[C]

This message is for you, buddy. Anyone else? Fast forward. Just give a whole segment to one kid who's not even allowed to listen to the pot.

[A]

No.

[B]

When he's old enough, I'll just say, go listen to episode. Like, start with episode one and see how you like it. And then he just will never listen again.

[C]

Smart.

[A]

So that is actually smart.

[B]

Yeah, we did. We did that by design, actually, just with our future kids in mind. Yeah. I also feel like your senses are also heightened in Colorado. Like, even just walking down the main street of somewhere. Like, I. I think I can just smell weed everywhere, even though I probably can't. You know, another. Another thing to point out about Colorado. I went to the gas station by last time I was there, I went to the gas station by the airport. And it's. It's kind of wild when you travel somewhere else, how different the gas stations are than they are here in the Midwest. Like, I would say we have some of the best gas stations of all time.

[C]

That's true. Our gas stations are superior.

[A]

We are killing it in the gas station.

[B]

I would agree. I would agree because to me, it's just like. It's just. I don't know. I don't feel like I'm in a gas station right now.

[A]

I don't know why, but you're going to get your food at a farmer's market in Colorado. Oh, my God. I want a chuck wagon.

[D]

Chicken and Swiss.

[A]

Chicken and Swiss. Give me a soft pretzel with the. The fake cheese.

[C]

Yeah, I bet we could. We could run a farmer's market if we just went to a gas station first, unwrapped all the sandwiches, and popped up a booth in a farmer's market.

[A]

And then just put artisan sandwiches and.

[D]

Then, like, write them on chalk.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like.

[A]

Yeah. Well, we be like Charles Wagon. Yeah.

[D]

Exactly.

[B]

And then in quotes. Yeah, in quotes, it'd be like a taste of the Midwest.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What is it? Are they, there's Bosco sticks as well.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

This is basically in sticks is what we could call them.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

We would make a killing with a pop up tent. Gas station food.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you know, they're all like, oh, this fresh food, this, this non gmo, you know, cage free stuff is great. But then they're like, oh my God, this tastes like heaven compared to that.

[C]

Have you ever heard of a Charles Wagon? Yeah, you've got to try it.

[B]

Charles Wagon's a good one.

[D]

We just like empty like a bunch of white monster into a big punch bowl thing.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Also very Midwest to me. So in Colorado they have, from what I, this is what I learned, the Palisade peaches.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

So apparently that's a big thing in Colorado this time of year. Is everybody, there's, there's, we have sweet corn stands. They have like Palisade peaches stands.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

From what I understand.

[B]

And did you ever get to the point of understanding where the Palisades are?

[A]

No, no, no. I know it's a type of car. Saw one driving around.

[C]

It's a mountain range, isn't it?

[A]

It's got to be.

[B]

Yeah, I think so. I just, I, I, I, Yeah.

[A]

Anyways, we got some peaches and in true Midwest fashion, Colorado guys just started eating the peach and I immediately thought, we got to put these peaches on the grill.

[B]

Okay. A little dessert action. All right.

[A]

And it's just, that's the difference between Midwest and Colorado. They see a delicious fruit, they're like, wow, I'm gonna eat it. It's gonna be fresh and, and great. And I'm like, let's char this sucker up. Put some ice cream on it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, let's have some peaches and cream for dessert.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

Side note, though, if you a great. It's the easiest recipe ever. Cut a peach in half, take the pit out, fill the pit with brown sugar, throw it on the grill. Ice cream.

[C]

Great.

[B]

Dessert night. Night. Yep. Do that post recreational activities.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Maybe grill them first and then recreation after.

[C]

Do the recreation at the same time so it kicks in when you're ready to eat.

[B]

Yeah. Or if you're, if you're going to smoke some peaches because I know people do some of that. You just throw it. Like throw some. Well, my buddies used to call it Keef. I don't know what they call it in Colorado, but if you sprinkle some of that in the. The little. The pellets.

[A]

I love how your muff's not. But he can talk about weed all he wants.

[C]

In Colorado, they just have Keith in like a salt and pepper shaker, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

It's just on.

[D]

It's like oregano.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Actually not a bad idea.

[B]

No, it's not. I think it would let us have this one man on the moon, Jerry.

[A]

Now, one thing, I do think Colorado is doing better than us. Mostly because we don't have the advantage they do. They are utilizing snow better than we are in terms of having ski hills.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And mountains. They're just. We just take snow and we move it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[B]

For fun.

[A]

The only thing we do with snow is move it out of the way and they slap on some skis and they ride the snow.

[C]

Yeah. Well, there might be doing snow better, but we're doing ice.

[A]

That's true.

[C]

We've got fishing and hockey and all of the other things you can use ice for. They don't have that. They're too. They're too mountainous.

[A]

I was talking to the guy who runs the dock at the. The reservoir and I was like, this thing doesn't freeze over. Right? And he's like, ah, the edges will get frozen. I'm like, you ever do any ice fishing? He's like, I mean, I could just stand at the edge of the ice and just regular fish, but I'm not gonna drill a hole in the ice. That would be dumb.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

When there's open water out there.

[C]

Not dumb if the fish are under the ice.

[A]

That's true. That is very true.

[C]

He just doesn't get it. He doesn't have the ice fishing experience.

[A]

JDGI no, this guy was. This guy was chill. Don't. Don't talk about this guy. He felt like he belonged to the Midwest and somehow accidentally ended up in Colorado.

[C]

Okay, that does happen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We had a bush light together. It was great. So don't talk about my guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Come on.

[A]

Tyler. Jesse is his name.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Shout out, Jay.

[D]

I was just over the line.

[C]

I still. I don't think he quite gets why we drove through the. Through the ice.

[A]

The other just side note, I was talking to a guy who said when he moved to Colorado he met some guy and he. And he's like, oh, like you just moved here. You Gotta check out 420 Cave.

[C]

Which is probably exactly what it sounds like.

[A]

I think so. And he said he never went, but apparently it's a local legend. 420 Cave. And that to me you know, at first I was like, where's all the people, you know, offering weed around? Because it's Colorado. But then once I found out about 420 Cave, I was like, that's the Colorado we signed up for. You imagine just a bunch of guys and gals going to a cave just to smoke weed together.

[C]

Is that what it is?

[B]

I think.

[A]

Guessing, yeah.

[B]

I'm assuming that's where Friendships are made. 420 Cave.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, you're just going to get local businesses.

[D]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

Oh, oh. Up 420 Cave Hill Road. That's in Tennessee.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Anyway, but, yeah, I. I didn't get any more details other than that, but I just imagine it'd be kind of sick if it was a smaller cave. So you can just hot box in the cave.

[B]

Yeah. You know, that way you wouldn't have to buy any weed.

[A]

You just go stand in there, mooch off.

[D]

Everybody else, do a GB on some still water.

[B]

Yeah, that'd be sick. Yeah. Yeah. GB and some natural spring water up in the mountains.

[A]

It is time for prize picks. Time of the week, folks. And right now, prize picks will give you $50 in lineups when you play. $5 lineup, win or lose, you'll get 50 bucks in lineups. Use code YBR when you sign up today to take advantage of it. Boys, we're almost there.

[B]

Yeah, we are.

[C]

I can smell it.

[A]

Jared just informed me this is the last week of preseason. And then I said, did they switch it to three weeks of preseason? He said a while ago, because he had an extra.

[B]

Extra game at the end.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that makes total sense. But we're in it. We're ready to go. We're still dialed in. Preseason don't matter.

[B]

Nope.

[A]

Don't matter if ball is ball. And you know. Jared, what's your first?

[D]

Roman Wilson. More than 21 and a half receiving yards.

[A]

Okay. All right.

[D]

Michigan guy.

[A]

Michigan boy.

[C]

Tyler, I got Devontez Walker. Less than 30 and a half receiving yards.

[A]

Yep, 30 and a half.

[B]

I got Jack Plumber. More than 91 and a half pass yards.

[A]

Okay, Big dog.

[C]

Lot of faith in that plumber.

[A]

Jack's gonna be slinging it around, huh? It's got to be the Jack attack on gna.

[B]

Be the jack of all trades.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Hopefully he doesn't get traded.

[C]

Can't get jack off that field.

[A]

Yes. I got Bo nicks. Less than 42 and a half pass yards. He just doesn't need to be in the game.

[B]

No.

[C]

It's a no for Bo.

[A]

Yeah. No. Bow no Bo way.

[B]

And Bo knows that it's a no for Bo.

[A]

So you want to roll with our preseason lineup, you gotta. You gotta get on prize fix right now.

[C]

Wrote with us last week and Flex played it. You won. You're welcome.

[A]

So you did. I mean, that's just proof. There's proof in the pudding. We should actually. Every week after we get a lineup that hits, we should just be eating pudding during the read. That's a great idea because then the proof would be in the pudding.

[C]

The prize picks proof Pudding.

[A]

The prize. The. The proof is in the prize picks pudding.

[D]

It'll be purple.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Be purple. Grape flavored.

[C]

Grape pudding. Sounds gross.

[A]

Okay. Black. Black cherry. Now BlackBerry can look a little purpley. So pudding. Good luck this week. The other thing too is if you're a midwestern or driving in Colorado, you really got to make sure you're paying attention if there's bikers on the road. We don't have bike lanes in Fargo. You know, we got the, you know, trails that go through the town. You don't gotta worry about them. But then you're driving and there's bikers going left and right. And there's a few times I going to switch into the turning lane. You got to cross over the bike lane. And I was like, I didn't even check. Yeah, I probably should start checking, right?

[B]

Yeah. It's not like they have horns that can honk you off either.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You ever been honked off? Anyway. Really, Ryan.

[A]

So, all in all, guys, great trip to Colorado.

[B]

Good.

[A]

Hanging out with dude dad. His family is.

[B]

He.

[A]

He's got a lot of kids.

[B]

Yeah. Any more on the way?

[A]

You know, I see him and his four kids, and it's exactly what you would expect with four kids. Tyler, you have three. Just imagine another one.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Chaos. Chaos. And it's one of those things Heidi, his wife, said while we were there. She's like, you know, we. Their kids were acting crazy and she was like, it's nice that we can provide comfort to other families in that their family isn't as wild as ours.

[B]

Yes. Yeah, it's a good point.

[A]

But yeah, I mean, four kids is a lot. A lot going on.

[C]

Yeah. It says if they say it feels like you have three more than you really do. Once you get to three, you have three, it feels like you have six. When you get to four, feels like you have seven. You can't keep an eye on all of them at once. Yeah, they're everywhere all the time.

[A]

He's also got ducks. The ducks that don't fly.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

Another difference between Colorado, Midwest, Midwest sees a duck, then we want to kick it up and let her rip.

[B]

Yeah, we can. We ain't ground pounding around here past the age of 12.

[A]

Well, no, they're just not shooting ducks, period. Yeah, because they just. They're pets, right? See, like you can't even comprehend.

[B]

No.

[A]

Having a duck as a pet.

[B]

Well, because we have chickens, you know, so. So ducks are just pets. They don't have, like, chickens lay eggs, obviously.

[A]

No, I think they lay eggs.

[C]

The ducks can lay. Yeah, you can eat duck eggs.

[A]

It was. It wasn't like, they obviously. Probably duck hunt in Colorado. It's just a hyperbole. Ryan.

[B]

No, yeah, I'm following. I've just. I don't. I've never had a duck egg before. I don't think.

[A]

Yeah, I wonder what it tastes like.

[B]

Palisade peach almost. Duck egg stand on the side of the highway. I'd stop, I'd stop, dude, I'm stopping at the Salmon. The Salmon Smoked salmon shop in Duluth. Every time I'm there. How can you drive by and not get smoked salmon? I'm in Colorado. I see a duck egg stand, I'm gonna stop.

[A]

You know, earmuffs.

[D]

I think you're swearing more in this.

[A]

More than the rest of us combined.

[B]

Feeling good today.

[A]

That's how you know you're feeling good. Because I saw a video of you go karting this last weekend, dude.

[B]

Yeah. And I wish it would have been the clip of my 3 year old and I getting in a head on collision. So, okay, so somebody got spun out in front of us and like right in front of us, boom, Head on collision. I'm like, I had a little whiplash. My head was starting to hurt a little bit. That's why I quit football back in the day. I look over at my kid and I start. I start just like, getting pumped up. Because when I get pumped up, he gets pumped up, vice versa. And he was laughing his ass off. I'm like, all right, he's okay. So I can keep going. Dodge that situation like no other. But to begin with, like, usually when we go to go karts, there's probably like four or five other people who are gonna be racing, right this time. There was like a summer camp or something to where there was like 15 other go karts going. We were the only double go kart. Everyone else was singles and they let the doubles out last. So, like I told you guys when I sent you the message, I'm like, dude, we. We absolutely Fucking dominated this track. And we went out last and it was like, I don't know these kids, they were at the age or price, 15, 16 year old kids. And when I saw that, I just had to make it my mission to pass as many of them as I could. And like, not like I'm just going to pass on right by, like I'm aggressively passing you. Okay. I'm going to take the corner and if I clip you on accident, then that's just what's going to happen. We had to have finished out of 16 go kart to have finished like 4th by the end of it.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

So we like, we dodged two crashes, which I was involved in one of them in starting it. But again, just, you know, you, you, you hang a quick left, come back around and you just go on your way. But I think it was a good learning curve for my kid, you know, at his age. Like when we go to go karts. Yes, it's fun, but let's, let's like, let's get something out of it.

[A]

You know, this is just classic guys, right? Like, hey, let's go to the go kart track and have fun with our child.

[C]

It's a nice chill weekend.

[A]

Actually, no, I'm gonna try and rip the tires off of my go kart. Passing other kids, haunting them, baiting them into their own crashes.

[B]

Yeah. But then we have like my, my three year old and I have more stories to talk about that time we went to go karts after we leave, you know, like, well, after we get done reading books, we'll talk about the head on collision that we, that we got. And like, you know, it could have knocked us down, but it didn't. You know, it's a perseverance type of deal.

[A]

Also funny is those go karts go like 15 miles an hour.

[B]

Yeah. And the doubles, I've found out the doubles actually I think go faster than bigger engine. Oh, really?

[C]

Yeah, they went slower there. There's a few of them. Like, because I've gone to that go kart track a few times, if you get a good cart, it's significantly better than the rest.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So like you can rip around people.

[B]

And usually when I walk by the one that we're gonna hop in, I'll try and stretch the spring out in the back because it makes them go faster. My buddy taught me that when I was younger. I, there's usually not enough time because there's a worker coming over to strap my kid in. But if you can get that little spring in the back Stretched out.

[D]

Did you, did you do that?

[B]

I. I was going to. Worker was coming over though. I didn't want to.

[D]

Gotcha.

[B]

Blow my cover.

[A]

You should have had your kid create a diversion.

[B]

I know, I know, buddy.

[C]

Your pants by that guy.

[B]

Quick. That's why we're at Go Karts is because he's been on the pot. So that's. That. That's the reward for. Yeah, on the pot.

[C]

Nice.

[B]

But I don't know, it like, it made me feel like I was 12 years old again. And I'm just like, let's. Let's turn this into a competition. I feel like a little kid driving Go Karts again. I'm never gonna lose that.

[A]

All the other parents are watching kids go around. They're like, God, that.

[D]

There'S always one.

[A]

He's always one. He's clearly like, got some sort of trauma in his life that makes him feel the need to destroy kids.

[C]

PIT maneuvering 14 year olds.

[B]

I wasn't.

[A]

Yeah, he's bumping kids into the pit. Like, as you go by. He's given one of those. They go into the return area.

[B]

Yeah, we were, we, like, we had been working on trying to pass this one kid for probably like lap and a half. And finally when I didn't spin him out, I think he took a turn too, too sharp. And I just went around him. I'm sure he was stuck, like, facing the opposite direction for the next lap. And I'm like, ah. I feel bad because he's not getting his money's worth, but I am. You know, good stories for my kids and I to talk about it at.

[A]

Bedtime, you know, have you guys seen the videos of the, like, the like hill or mountain side Mario Kart in Japan or something?

[B]

No.

[A]

So basically you're just going downhill the whole time. And I don't, I don't think that they're gas. I think they're just like. Because you're going downhill, you start going fast and the amount of crashes and like people are like going over the side rail because they're going too fast and hit it and like flip over the side. It's crazy.

[C]

And then down the mountain.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, they don't like, go all the way down the mountain, but yeah, it's. Look it up. Let's. Let's see if we can find it downhill.

[B]

Mario Kart Track. Japan.

[A]

Yeah, I think it's Japan.

[B]

So like, are you, are you just going as a solo or are you like, trying to race again? I mean, it's kind of like Box car.

[C]

There was one that popped up in Vietnam.

[D]

Oh, Vietnam.

[C]

When you were typing it.

[A]

Yeah. And then they'll just be like a tree in the middle of the track, which do. Do CR. Type in crashes down. Vietnam, not Japan.

[C]

Just click that first one, Jared.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

Holy. Oh, they're like.

[A]

They're like pump.

[B]

Sure, yeah. Pump the handles to get speed.

[A]

Like, look how sharp these turns are. Whoa. This.

[B]

What?

[A]

There's, like, obstacles in the middle. Look how fast they're going.

[B]

Dude, that is insane. Those look like stacks of cordwood.

[A]

I don't see that. Oh. And it just turns into bumper cars. But they're not bumper cars. That was not even a bad one. Yeah, it's been showing up on my tick tock. People, like, going literally, like, hitting another car and then completely flipping over the handlebars.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

So again, if we had Colorado, we would probably install one of those.

[C]

Yes, we would.

[B]

Oh, God. Yeah. Down the Rockies.

[C]

But we would figure out a way to actually put in the. The prize boxes so we could throw banana peels and turtle shells at people.

[B]

That'd be sweet.

[A]

Just oil slicks.

[C]

Yep. Just quarterbacking an actual turtle shell at the back of a car in front of his head.

[A]

So many injuries.

[D]

Sign a waiver, you'll be good.

[B]

Definitely a waiver involved. Yeah.

[A]

So who do you think would win in a go kart race between us four?

[C]

Ryan. He's got the heaviest foot out of all of us. He. He drives foot.

[B]

Lightest body.

[A]

I've also. He's got the lightest body. But I. It's. I've learned that it's not about. It's not about what you drive, it's about how you drive.

[C]

I mean, I've written with Ryan a bunch of times. He drives his truck like a go kart.

[B]

No, it's not. You guys are. You guys are. It's not even that.

[C]

He practices every day on the way to work.

[A]

I think I could beat you. I got real go karting experience.

[B]

See, now the thing. The. The thing about these go karts is, like, if you start in front and you don't really like, if you know how to drive the track, like, it's kind of impossible to get past unless someone spins you out, bumps you out, because, like, there's. There's not long enough sections to where someone can pass you. So there's got to be some sort of go cart on go cart collision in order to make moves, if that makes sense. But I. I would. Yeah, I would definitely be down for it, I think. Yeah. I think I'd probably take it, but.

[C]

I mean, I think we need something to replace the summer series.

[B]

Dude, it's awesome.

[A]

Well, the summer series just postponed.

[C]

Yeah, well, summer's basically over.

[A]

Tell it's postponed until a future summer.

[B]

Yeah, you could play ball in the winter time.

[A]

Yeah, but then that's the winter series, which I didn't commit to a winter series. I committed to it summer.

[B]

That's very true.

[C]

I was just saying we could do like a five race situation. Make sure the carts get mixed up so in case one of you gets a dud. It doesn't matter.

[A]

We, yeah, it sucks. They don't give you lap times because then we can just go lap times.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Actually that, I mean we, we could have unofficial lap times. We could have each one of you guys with stopwatches.

[C]

Yeah, we could do that.

[A]

Be honest guys, we're not gonna do this.

[C]

It's just 40 minutes out of our day. We just hop over there quick, you guys. We'll do it in the middle of the week when no one's there.

[D]

Then a bus shows up.

[C]

We're like, oh.

[B]

I'm like go. I'm taking a long lunch today, boys.

[A]

Once a month we should rent out the whole track. Just yank on those springs. Just let her rip.

[B]

Yeah, we should. That'd be awesome.

[A]

Wonder how much it is.

[C]

I don't know, it's like five bucks a race.

[A]

No, I mean if you rent out the truck.

[B]

Yeah, no idea.

[A]

500 bucks for a couple hours, right?

[B]

You think so?

[A]

Cuz how long, how many laps do you get to do? Like how long?

[C]

It's time. So you get like 10 minutes and then after the 5 bucks.

[A]

16. Yeah, might be 500 bucks. Might not do it.

[B]

Why? And I will say too like it does take, it takes a little, I don't know, like not fast twitch muscles but like the first couple times we had, we had gone this summer. Like I get out and my shoulders are stiff.

[A]

That's, it's just, that's how I know I can beat you.

[B]

Yeah, but, yeah but, but those muscles for you will be tense and, and mine won't because of minor condition now and I've taken the head on collision. So I like, I get, I get.

[A]

How it all works. I was go karting on an 810 of a mile go kart track and a cart that goes 45 miles an hour earlier this summer.

[B]

No, I know, I, I, I know, I know.

[C]

There's only one way to settle it.

[A]

We should actually go to that track. That Would actually be fun.

[C]

That would be fun.

[B]

That would be awesome. I would love to.

[A]

That one has a bit higher likely of happening than the regular go karting, but yeah. You got an update on your rummage sale tar?

[C]

Yeah. Yep. Day one, we got out there.

[B]

Pull the notes out.

[C]

We made 127 bucks. Day one, 20.

[A]

127 bucks. Day one. How many hours are you out there? Three and a half.

[C]

Three and a half. Four ish. With cleaning things up and putting things inside and whatnot.

[A]

Did you move the stuff out of the garage or you keep it in the garage?

[C]

It's about 50. 50.

[A]

Smart.

[C]

Yeah. I had a bunch of shit that didn't need to be outside. Outside. Just so we had some more curb appeal.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

For all the. We had a lot of people whiz by our house and like slam on the brakes and neck crank when they drove by and then they would use the neighbors to turn around. So smart. It was good having the eye candy in the front. Day two was pretty busy. I didn't. I didn't actually tabulate exactly what day two totals were, but the majority of it came from day two. We went all day Saturday seven to seven, and then Sunday it rained off and on. So Sunday was kind of a kick in the nuts.

[B]

Church crowd too.

[C]

I was pumped for the church crowd. I went and actually just picked up signs from random spots and just went to church parking lots around my house and put them in the church parking lots.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So I was expecting a bunch of them. But right as church got out, it was thunderstorming. Nobody came. We had a few people come in on Sunday, made everything half off. Slung a bunch of that people have been looking at. And then we ended up with just over 500 bucks for the whole weekend. And I did.

[A]

Not bad.

[C]

Didn't even sell the high ticket stuff. I sold the weed whacker. But a dude got it half off on the last day.

[B]

How tall was he?

[C]

Too tall for that weed whacker.

[A]

But I didn't.

[C]

I didn't say a damn thing.

[A]

You said no returns. Right? All sales are final. Because he'll be knocking at your door this next week.

[C]

Yeah. His back's gonna be hurt. Hurting.

[A]

So what the. The tall. You didn't sell the. The. The table set?

[C]

No table set. Did not sell. I even dropped it. 100 bucks. It just. It's just not. Not in right now when you got.

[B]

To have a pickup to haul it too.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

What?

[A]

What? What? Sold like hot cakes that you weren't expecting.

[C]

Puzzles, dude. Puzzles were we had probably eight puzzles and they were. We're down to one in the first 45 minutes of the rummage sale.

[A]

Really?

[C]

And I mean they were dirt cheap. They're like a dollar fifty cents and they're.

[A]

Was it young or old people buying them?

[C]

A mix of both, actually. So like Nobody young, like 20 years old, but there are some like 30, 40 year olds that bought puzzles.

[A]

We gotta start selling. You betcha. Puzzles.

[C]

I couldn't believe it.

[B]

I mean. Yeah, I. I've actually been considering getting some puzzles just. Just to kind of cool the brain at the end of the day.

[A]

Yeah. Is that what you need to do at the end of day is cool the brain?

[B]

Your brain's running hot brain.

[A]

I gotta put my brain on ice. Let me do this puzzle.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It's just something that 32 year olds do, I think saw a video on it. Did anyone ask if there were any pieces missing and can you confirm that there are no pieces missing?

[C]

I couldn't confirm. No. They're just.

[B]

Would that be the shits if you got like someone pulled up in your driveway, said, hey, this puzzle I bought for 50 cents is missing the centerpiece.

[C]

There was a puzzle that had like, it was like 5, 000 pieces. Imagine putting that together and finding out there was only 4,990.

[D]

But maybe that's part of the puzzle is finding.

[C]

That's true. That's true.

[B]

That's very true.

[C]

It could be anywhere.

[A]

It's interactive.

[C]

They gotta come back.

[B]

We bought this from you.

[C]

Do you have the pieces, like. No, my grandma dropped these off. So then they gotta go to grandma's to find the pieces.

[A]

Scavenger hunt.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

You just gotta have it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What's the secret password?

[A]

Did you ever put any of the puzzles together?

[C]

No, they're. They're all my grandma's. She just dropped them off, didn't want them.

[A]

Got it lightly used.

[C]

Got it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

At least grandma.

[A]

There's no way she lost the puzzle piece, right?

[C]

Yeah. She's pretty responsible.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Do you guys think back to the last time you put together a puzzle and you are like, you can't find a piece of the, like stuff you start doing once you realize you gotta find it. You're like, your first move is always lifting up the box.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Then you get on the floor and you look underneath the couch or the chairs, underneath the table. And it's can be a tense situation.

[C]

I can pretty confidently say I don't think I've ever actually put together like A legit adult puzzle.

[B]

They're pretty fun.

[C]

Like, start to finish. Like, I've. I've sat down and worked on one. Like we used to have them in the break room in the news. Like, I've sat down and worked on one during lunch, but I've never started one and finished one.

[A]

Yeah. Not as an adult.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

It's too hard.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's a good way to cool the brain down, though. You guys will understand one day.

[C]

Baby clothes. Biggest disappointment of the whole rummage sale. We didn't get the right. Right person in. We had two moms coming looking for baby clothes, but they only had girls, so they were. They bought some of the unisex stuff. But we have a shitload of baby clothes still.

[A]

Yeah, it's just clothes are tough at sales.

[C]

Sold a lot of my stuff. Surprisingly, a lot of my clothes went. The T shirts.

[A]

All your clothes?

[C]

Yep.

[A]

I didn't know if you had like trinkets or whatnot.

[C]

Yeah, some collectibles now.

[B]

Any swords? Any inquiries on the swords?

[C]

No, those are not for sale. No, I know, but I kept them hidden.

[A]

Okay. That was such a. This is going to be free marketing.

[C]

I don't want it to be a business. It's my. It's my fun thing.

[A]

I know, but every good business starts with a guy saying, I don't want this.

[B]

That's correctness.

[A]

Everyone knows that. Everyone knows that a great business is one where you literally have someone holding a sword to your throat saying, I just start this business.

[C]

I just know that when people finally see my swords, I'm going to end up in a loop from the outdoors, outdoor boy situation. So many people are going to want my swords. It's going to suck the love and.

[A]

Joy seeing your swords. I don't think you gotta worry about that.

[C]

You haven't seen the good ones.

[A]

Well, no, I just. I said, yet. I think he can get there.

[C]

No, you should see the.

[A]

If you watch our first YouTube or first video we ever put out, you're like, I don't know if this guy's gonna make it. There's no way he's gonna parlay this into a seven year long career.

[C]

You should see these swords.

[A]

He's on his first video. He's on his first sword.

[C]

I figured out how to use a tree branch as the handle. It looks really cool.

[A]

See, it's already improving.

[B]

Yeah, well, I mean, you can charge a premium form too. If there's high demand for. And you. And you don't really want to do it, then you just charge up the ass.

[C]

You can't put a price on the peace of mind.

[A]

And like me, the last thing he needs is people pumping him up and then he needs constructive criticism.

[B]

Yeah, Jared. Yeah.

[A]

Otherwise you end up in a situation where you're excited about something and then you're like, oh, this actually isn't as good as I thought it was.

[C]

You want to. I have turned down one business request.

[A]

Someone asked you to make a sword?

[C]

Yep.

[A]

What did they, what were they offering?

[C]

So it's a local college. This, this guy paints helmets for the college and he like gives them to seniors when they graduate from the football team.

[A]

What kind? Oh, like actual football helmets.

[C]

Yeah. So he'll paint one and it'll be like, with their year and a cool different logo of their, their college. And then each senior on the football team gets one and he's like, they also asked me to make something for interceptions and like, you know, like some people have like the WWE belt. He wanted me to make him a big ass sword so that they could have that. So when somebody gets a pick, they like hold the sword, they get the sword on the sideline.

[A]

That's. That is cool.

[C]

Yeah, I turned it down.

[A]

I mean, that's, that's a chance of a life.

[C]

I don't, I don't want it to be a business.

[A]

Then do it for free.

[C]

I would want to keep it. I'd fall in love with the sword.

[D]

3D printed.

[B]

Joe Burrow put swords on the map again.

[C]

He did. He does like swords.

[B]

He got all of his offensive lineman samurai swords.

[C]

He got like legit samurai swords that had the history of the sword and which samurai had.

[A]

Now I know you're not gonna make this sword, but if you were gonna make this sword, what would it look like?

[C]

It would have to. So their college is the Vikings, so it would have to be a Viking style sword.

[A]

And what is a Viking style sword look like?

[C]

You could do like, they have the short version. It's sort of Roman looking, sort of short, and it doesn't taper very much towards the end. I could do a big ass one which is like sort of look like any medieval sword. The Vikings are more known for their axes and whatnot.

[A]

So the one thing that on your first iterations that I think you, that would take your, your craft to the next level is really getting the millwork, the, the, yeah, the, the details down, you know, get out of chisel, start really fine tuning those grooves in the, in the blade and all of that.

[C]

So the thing I need to get the most I need to get some sort of planer. Planer. Because like all swords have a taper. They're not just a thick block of wood. They like go from thick to one end or thick sanding just takes. Oh my God. It's just not worth it to all the sanding.

[A]

That's why you need one of those chisel things where you just run it along in a little like.

[C]

You know, those are satisfying.

[A]

Is it just a chisel? Right?

[C]

Yeah. Or.

[B]

But it's like a. It's a U shape. So. Yeah. It's like something you'd extract warts with or something.

[C]

I've started working on detail, but.

[B]

So how do you get. This planer is my miles. If you were in.

[A]

You got 500 bucks burning a hole in your pocket.

[B]

Yeah. If I was in the business of like and just enjoying to make swords, if I wanted a planer, I would start. I would start making swords to sell them and then have money to buy the planer.

[C]

Yeah, but I don't. I don't want to do that.

[B]

But you want a planer.

[C]

I do want a planer, but it's one of those things like. I don't need a planer. I just want one.

[A]

How much does the planer cost these days?

[C]

It depends on what kind I would get at least. At least 400 bucks.

[B]

Oh my. You just have that paid off.

[C]

Yeah. But if I wish spent all our rummage. So money on some. On something I do not need.

[B]

That could make you a lot more money.

[D]

It's got electric bill to pay for.

[A]

It's an investment in your future business that you don't want to do.

[C]

Do correct.

[A]

That you'll end up doing. You already have one inquiry and you're. You're. You're a cup of coffee in.

[B]

What's the dollar value on this. This business inquiry that you had?

[C]

I just turned it down immediately. Like I've been looking for somebody to make a sword. I'm like, yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

[B]

You didn't even ask for a dollar value. What if it was 5,000 bucks?

[A]

It wouldn't have been.

[C]

No, I know, but it wouldn't have been one and two. Then I. I don't know if I could deliver on that. You'd have to pay me half up front to go buy more equipment and then the money's gone anyway.

[A]

Well, you need to start doing too, is you need to start staining these bad boys.

[C]

Yeah, I've seen one. That's nice because like the one you saw is like that was for the kids to hack shit down in the woods. And now they have enough swords, I can just actually play around with it and enjoy my time again.

[A]

I still am wondering where you get all this time to be able to get a sword and deal with the hornets nests and all of that hornet's nest gone.

[C]

Officially they have not come back.

[A]

Okay. Until they do.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

Yeah. I don't want Tyler to start this business because then he won't be able to work here anymore. He'll make so much.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

Be too good at it. But it's kind of one of those things that's like, you know, we put the wind underneath his sails and that's what it's really about.

[C]

Yeah. You don't have to worry about.

[A]

Not under his sales. In his sales. It's under your wings. Yeah. Plus I would. I'd invest. You know, take 10%. I'll get you a planer.

[B]

It's not a bad deal.

[C]

Yeah. I.

[A]

It's just.

[C]

We don't have to worry about it.

[A]

I'll get you a whole shop. We got a whole warehouse you can work out of.

[B]

Can we just gauge demand too? Like anyone listening out there. If you would be interested in a handmade.

[A]

If you would actually buy a handmade wooden sword and how much you would pay for it.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Comment below.

[A]

And don't. And don't do it based off of his skill right now. Do it based off of his skill in two years from now.

[B]

And no low ball offers.

[A]

No low balls. What would you actually. What's the most you would pay for a sword?

[B]

Because it will be nice. I Your details.

[A]

You're not. You're not gonna do this because you don't want to do no.

[C]

Correct.

[B]

No. But it just a gauge.

[A]

Just to gauge if you did. What would it look like?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

You can buy a wooden swords from the Renaissance fair. They're like 25 bucks.

[A]

Again, it's not. There's too soon.

[B]

Dude.

[A]

The Renaissance Fair got canceled. They got assholed this because of weather. It was a flash flood at the Renaissance Fair. And you just. You guys keep bringing it up and it's just.

[C]

I. I did make an ax. Like a little hand ax. It was not very good though.

[B]

Okay. You're. Yeah. You're not helping your case by not wanting to start this.

[C]

It was. It was. It was cool looking but it like. It broke pretty fast.

[A]

I mean Rome wasn't the way that it sounds. The way that you're expanding your Skus, your. What is it?

[B]

Stock kit Stock keeping unit.

[A]

Stock keeping unit. I mean, you're like, this close, opening up an Etsy page, and it's. You're right there with all the moms with a cricket. I mean, you're, like, right there.

[D]

We call it Tyler's sword.

[B]

Jared, could you look up handmade Wooden sword swords, eBay on Google?

[D]

Handmade wooden swords?

[B]

Yep. Handmade wooden swords, Ebay. And we'll just. We'll look at that. We can just take a look at the quality. Okay. Yep. Go up to the top.

[A]

Yeah. You got to start making some handmade Japanese practice, martial arts training, wooden Dalto swords.

[B]

And those are. Those. I don't. Those probably aren't even had me. They're just putting that there. Yeah. But still, 71 soldiers.

[A]

27 bucks a pop. You can pump those, you get that plant flickers off.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

Well, just. Hey, just think about it. You know, it's all stuff. It's all food for thought. It's all, you know, wood for swords.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And. Yeah. Congratulations on the 500 bucks.

[C]

Thank you. Thank you. We didn't. Didn't clear out the garage. Might reopen next weekend.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Why not? Yeah.

[C]

No.

[A]

Gonna be diminishing returns, though. You're gonna spend a whole weekend. You're only gonna make 100 bucks next and then 50 the weekend, so.

[C]

Right. Just trying to minimize the trips to the thrift store. I'm gonna have to make for donations.

[A]

Can't you just. Don't they have thrift stores? Like, can't they come pick stuff up sometimes?

[D]

You have to pay for them.

[A]

Because I know that, like, my mom would just, like, set stuff on the step outside and they would come pick it up back in the day, but probably not in this economy.

[B]

Yeah. Gas, crude, oil prices, stuff like that.

[A]

All right. Should we take a break, boys?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Just remembered in the break, Jared and I are going to the same wedding this weekend. I don't know why that's so funny.

[B]

That is very random.

[A]

I think it's random because we both know the people in, like, for, like, completely different reasons. Like, because your wife was friends with the. With the bride, roommates with the bride. Roommates with the bride, and Anne was friends with the bride in, like, high school or something. And so it's just completely random that we're going to be at the same wedding. What's kind of funny is when Jared and I start, you know, having a good time, we. We really have a good time.

[B]

I don't.

[C]

Have you two ever, like, drank when the wives are around together? Yeah. Yeah. You have?

[A]

Yeah. But once Jared and I get together, it's like our wives don't exist anymore.

[D]

Clinic.

[A]

It just. I just have flashbacks to when me and Jared were at, what was it? Jason Aldean's together, Luke Bryan's. I think they're all the same. We're in this, like, private little, like, suite area. And it was just me and Jared, a bunch of other people from, like, the. The, like, Bush team. And we just got unlimited beer and we just drank. And you're like. We were like, up on a balcony. So, like, you just sitting there watching everyone walk through the bar. We're just talking about everyone walking through.

[B]

Yeah. Great. People watching.

[A]

Right.

[D]

And the music was sold out. So the main thing you can only do is drink.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Drink. Look at stuff and then just scream. Normal conversation.

[B]

And house beers.

[A]

Just housing beers.

[C]

So you gotta find a balcony at this wedding asap.

[A]

I gotta find a balcony, sit on.

[D]

The roof, drink beers.

[A]

Yeah. And I'm going golfing the morning of the wedding, so Miles is gonna show.

[C]

Up a little bit. Tuned up already. So, Jared, you should pre game in your hotel room to get ready for Miles.

[D]

I'll sit on the edge of the bed and pound some beers in my hotel room.

[B]

Are you guys staying in the same hotel, too?

[D]

I haven't booked the hotel yet.

[A]

I haven't booked a hotel yet.

[B]

Okay, let's make that happen.

[A]

Let's make it happen.

[C]

You guys could probably get a deal if you go in together.

[D]

Get a double room.

[B]

You could.

[A]

What is it? Conjoined room?

[B]

Yeah, something like that.

[A]

They're called.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, That's a vibe. That is a vibe. We should bring Tyler's Nintendo Switch too.

[D]

There we go.

[A]

Can we bring your Nintendo Switch?

[C]

Yeah, there's a rental fee.

[B]

See? He's doing business right now.

[C]

I know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He just doesn't know.

[D]

We'll just play, like, the little old Nintendo 64 they have attached to the TV at the hotel.

[A]

Yeah. There's the guy I'm going golfing with that's also going to the wedding that morning. Jared, you're gonna love this guy. I'm so excited. It's like. Have you ever been in a scenario where you have two friends that don't know each other that you're like, I cannot wait for them to meet because it's gonna be great.

[B]

It's a great.

[A]

This is the guy. This is the guy that we were at the bar on our lake and he. He goes to the bathroom and he comes back and you can tell he was Like, a little bit, like, distracted, and we're like, what's going on? He's like, kind of just looking at all the merch they have for sale. He's like, I just. I love buying merchandise from bars.

[D]

You sure that wasn't Tyler?

[C]

Yeah, I do like bar merch.

[A]

And it was all he could talk about. He's talking about talking about it. So I went to the bathroom, I went and bought a quarter zip with the bar logo on it and came strutting back and he was all jealous and he went and got some. It's actually kind of a shame because that was when I was like, like a hundred pounds heavier than now. So the. The quarter zip doesn't fit anymore.

[C]

So gifted to him.

[A]

Yeah. But it wouldn't fit him either.

[B]

Trading.

[D]

Yeah, trade in.

[A]

But yeah, he's. Yeah, I'm excited for that.

[B]

Let's go, boys.

[A]

Now, I don't want you guys to become better friends, you know, we turn against you. I don't need that. That's a nightmare scenario.

[C]

House just can't leave you alone. He's got a piss super bad, but he's waiting for one of you to have to piss so he can come along.

[A]

So you guys don't become friends without me.

[B]

Yeah. He doesn't need to be finding out that you two are hanging out, you know, during the week.

[D]

Right?

[A]

Yeah. My crutch. I don't know if crutch is the right word. My weakness at a wedding is I was the kid in school when, like, there was, like, a whole school thing going on. I was trying to crack jokes. Well, I was supposed to be quiet.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And my thing at weddings is when speeches are going on. I mean, I do this for a living. It's just. I just have jokes just firing in my brain.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, like, if we're not sitting next to each other, Jared, who am I going to tell these jokes to? Who am I gonna be firing these brain thoughts off to?

[C]

Yeah. Have it. Have a text that open and ready to go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was gonna say just get them on face, too.

[A]

I'll do it. I'll do it with AirPod.

[D]

I just look at it.

[A]

Yeah. We're just the whole time like, oh, I don't know if I'd have wore that.

[D]

You know, get a load of this guy.

[A]

Get a load of this guy. But yeah, it's like. And if I do it to Anne, she's. She's over it now. You know what I mean? It's like I have to find a new audience because she's heard it. All right. But actually, it's nice when Anne's doing that and that's like, all right, we're. This is why we got married.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You're in your element at that point. Can you imagine if. If you, Jared, and your other buddy are gonna be sitting next to each other? Oh, my God. That would be a clinic.

[C]

Is this. Do you think this.

[A]

We're gonna be. We're gonna be the table to be at. If that's true.

[C]

Is this an assigned seating type of couple?

[A]

Every wedding reception has a. The table that everyone wants to be at. And if all three of us are there, that's gonna be the table.

[C]

Is this wedding. Are these the couple. An assigned seating type of couple?

[A]

I don't know. $. We haven't even booked the hotel.

[B]

Well, if that's the case, ask your buddy if he's booked his hotel. Trio.

[A]

Yeah. Bang, bang, bang, right back together. And then, like, we could just. Like, we could do. We could race between the rooms, you know, just open all the doors.

[D]

Race down the hallways.

[A]

Race down the hallways.

[B]

You play knee hockey in the hall.

[A]

You know, we. We could do. We could do door pranks, you know, knock and run.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

All sorts of stuff. It could be so many hijinks going on at this hotel that we haven't booked.

[B]

You guys could be. You could go swimming at 2am we.

[D]

Could put, like, ice on the door frame, and when somebody opens it, the ice falls on.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Right down the back shirt.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Just the best you guys could. You could each grab the garbage can from your room and go fill with ice. Fill the bathtub for the people.

[A]

No, what we should do, we should do the. The ice bucket challenge. And it's not what you think. This ice bucket challenge. You fill. You make a mix drink in the ice bucket, and whoever finishes first wins.

[B]

It's like a fishbowl. It's like a fishbowl at a restaurant.

[A]

Yeah. That is the. The Miles ice bucket challenge.

[D]

But it's gotta be a hotel ice bucket.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. The one in the hotel. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

When we say ice bucket, we mean garbage next to the.

[A]

No, no, they have ice buckets.

[B]

I know, I know, I know.

[A]

You go. They're always like, kind of like, let. Like fake leather and padded.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[A]

It's so weird. They do that. Yeah. You go to the ice. You go to the ice machine, you fill it up about, you know, a third of the way with ice, and then you just pour a whole bottle of Windsor in there, splash A seven up. And we do the ice bucket challenge.

[D]

And you can't put the plastic wrap on the ice bucket because you have to have all the bacteria.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Correct. Yeah.

[C]

That'll just get the alcohol. Kill it, though. So you're good.

[B]

Yeah. True Windsor in first.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Switch it around. I'm kind of jealous now, actually. That sounds like a great weekend.

[A]

Yeah. I mean that. And that's just phase one.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Yeah. Don't even get me started on a dance floor. Yeah. If you don't think that me, Jared, and our other buddy are starting a conga line, you're dreaming.

[B]

Honeymoon fund.

[D]

You don't think I'm gonna put a tire on my head?

[A]

You're dreaming if you don't think I'm gonna unbutton every shirt on my button up except for one. You are dreaming if you don't think that. You don't think I'm gonna start a dollar dance and then pocket all the cash. You are dreaming. I'll just do the dollar dance. I'll take Venmo and then be like, I'll just send you guys the money later and then never send it.

[B]

Well, dude, and you have.

[A]

I'll make 500 bucks in one hour where it took Tyler all weekend.

[B]

Well, I think the thing about it is, too, you guys are never gonna. You're never gonna have an empty hand. Hand. Because one of you three is gonna have to go get a beer or something at some point. Yeah. And you're just gonna grab two more.

[A]

I mean, we might just post up next to the bar. That's always a good move.

[B]

Yeah. You know, best conversations.

[A]

Oh, wow. That's the table to be at. And I guess the table's hanging out at the bar now. Let's go hang. Wherever we're at, it's the. Wow. The table was at the bar. And now they're on. On the dance floor. We better get out there.

[B]

And I think I just saw one of them go to the bathroom.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, we can do. We can do bathroom pranks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, like, take a paper towel, get it all wet, wad it up, whip it at the wall, see if it sticks like that.

[D]

Yeah, somebody's in the shitter. Just throw a wet paper towel over.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, but. But don't wad it up. Keep it open. And so then you drape it over and it's like a piece of cheese hitting them in the face. That could be a good move, too. We could grab some craft American singles and just start cheesing people. I mean, it's kind of one of those things we might. We. We should bring a disposable camera too. So it's kind of like the hangover.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I won't remember any of this.

[B]

No, you and you guys all got to meet up for breakfast at complimentary.

[A]

Breakfast and yeah, that's debrief the continental breakfast. Well, we'll debrief there.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And I gotta to Waldgreens for the one hour photo all hung over.

[A]

And then it'll be like, wow, that's the continental breakfast table to be at. They're looking at polar or looking at disposable camera photos from the night before. And if they got a photo booth. Jared, you. You know we're going to be getting silly in that thing.

[B]

You're going to have to bring an extra wallet just to put all those photos.

[D]

Yeah. Where the oversized sunglasses.

[C]

Until Miles catches his buddy and Jared in the photo booth and out him.

[B]

That's, that's, that's the one hurdle we gotta get past.

[A]

No, I wouldn't care.

[B]

That's the one hurdle.

[A]

It's also great because I don't think this trio of people will ever be together ever again. And so it's like kind of one of those things where it's like this.

[B]

Is it the only way out.

[C]

Last hurrah.

[A]

What else is there?

[D]

You know, the last dance.

[A]

It's like, it's like the first hurrah and the last hurrah all in one. And that's something special.

[D]

It's kind of like fire fest.

[C]

The first hurrahs in the. The. The triple conjoined hotel rooms.

[A]

Do a nice bucket challenge.

[C]

And then last hurrah is the wedding itself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We actually. This might be the first like non ybr member wedding review that we have next week.

[A]

I. I don't think we should be reviewing people's wedding. That's not.

[B]

No, no, no. Okay, it's not.

[A]

It seems that's a step too far.

[B]

It's not a review about the wedding. It's a review about the trio. About this wedding.

[A]

The wedding.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Because we were there. So it's the wedding.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes. It's not about the wedding.

[A]

About our. We're gonna review our performance at the wedding.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Now watch will come next Monday and be like, yeah, I probably had like six beers. I got pretty tired and yeah. Called it a night.

[D]

Didn't even go to the dance.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Ate a few too many hors d'.

[D]

Oeuvres, but maybe I'll get order just a shitload of Domino's way. Get back to the hotel.

[A]

Domino Dan could be in full force.

[B]

And out of the three year. There's one that's got to be awake when the Domino's guy gets to the fucking.

[A]

There's not a chance any of us are getting that Domino's.

[B]

You're not. But you got two other options.

[A]

Could be a good appetizer before continental breakfast, though.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Pizza.

[B]

Fucking little CP Sit right by the.

[D]

TV on the table.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Whole room reeks of pizza in the morning.

[D]

It's all crusted over and Gross.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Molten lava cake is just disgusting.

[C]

It's rock hard. Now.

[A]

What happened?

[B]

That sounds fun. Sounds like it'd be a good weekend.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, that's just. That's just the stuff we have outlined for the whole evening. Yeah. It's not even like we're not even getting a nitty gritty, you know? Yeah.

[B]

And when you come to book your hotel room, you might. There may not. There may not be any left besides like the. The penthouse suite or something.

[A]

Yeah. We could do Penthous House. I mean, like I said, this is first and last hurrah. So I mean, we might as well.

[D]

Go big of the holiday, Ed.

[A]

Yeah. It's like we're never going to be at a wedding, us three, ever again, together.

[B]

Imagine if you guys. If you guys just venture off grounds of the wedding. I mean, you find yourself at a bar, you find yourself at a tattoo shop, maybe find yourself. Who knows?

[C]

This should be your first tattoos. Just commemorate the weekend.

[B]

We don't know what's going to happen. Yeah. When you get off ground, why did you get.

[C]

You run into the.

[A]

We should get a Mount Rushmore tattoo and we can do all three of our faces and the ice machine. That could be our Mount Rushmore on our asses.

[D]

This was epic.

[B]

Is that. Is that general area where it's going to be?

[A]

At the ass?

[B]

No, in Mount Rushmore.

[A]

Oh, no, no, no. Oh, okay. Yeah, we're gonna Cambodia. We're being. Cambodia.

[D]

Cambodia. Yeah.

[A]

Ticket Friday and I don't have my kid this weekend too, so.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Oh, it's.

[C]

So this is all actual possibility then?

[A]

It is a possibility. We'll see what happens. We'll see what we can get ourselves into.

[D]

You know, hopefully it's an open bar.

[A]

Fill out the vibes. Yeah.

[C]

If not, just bring your ice bucket to the wedding and have them fill that for you.

[A]

Can you get a doctor to sign off on an emotional support ice bucket so they can't kick you out. Be like no, dude, I have a doctor's note that says I need this with me at all times.

[D]

I'm sure we could put like a bow tie on the ice bucket so it's like dressed for the occasion.

[A]

The question is, am I going to use a straw or am I just drinking straight out of the bucket? I think I could go straight out.

[C]

Of the bucket if it's, if there's so much leather on there. If it's too thick, you're just like.

[A]

It's just running down my chin and the bucket. I, I think because I'm thinking, you know, regular straw in that big a bucket, I mean it's, that's like, you know, a drop in the bucket. So we gotta get one of those like, like bomb, like bombos straws. Like the really thick ones that suck. Those beads up like the smoothie.

[B]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[A]

What are those called?

[D]

Bobas.

[A]

Bobas.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

We gotta get a boba straw and they're like that thick around.

[C]

It's gonna have to be long too because the ice bucket's deep.

[A]

We also could just cut it, cut a, like a, you know, eight inch thing, a hose and just stick that in there and suck it through. A hose?

[B]

Yeah, I got some 1 inch poly left over from my spring.

[D]

Yeah, just like a little PVC pipe.

[A]

Yeah, like a 2 inch PVC pipe.

[C]

I think, I think.

[A]

Or no. Well, we gotta do toilet paper roll. Yeah. One of our hijinks is we're gonna, we're gonna prank the, the bride and groom's room by putting toilet paper. We're gonna TP their room. Then with the leftover rolls, we'll use those as straws.

[B]

Yeah, you throw some dryer sheets in there. That's, what's that? That's, that's the, I think that's the final hurrah is the toilet paper roll. Dryer sheet. Yeah, I could do out in the parking lot.

[A]

You know, you imagine going back to your room after just getting married.

[D]

So tired.

[A]

So tired. Teepee everywhere.

[B]

I mean if you got shit pad though, it's like, hey, it's right there. Plenty, plenty to go through.

[A]

Oh, if, if, if we're not getting the front desk called on us at least twice. We just didn't do it right.

[D]

Piss off a 17 year old working the front desk.

[A]

First job, night shift we get. You know how every hotel's got that like one computer room where you can go and work? We can go play mini clip on the hotel computer.

[B]

Addicting games. Dot com.

[A]

Addicting.

[B]

Slime volleyball.

[A]

Yeah. We could play the like dirt bike game where you have to like go.

[B]

Over all the different stuff. Yep.

[D]

Google search boobs.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Hell yeah. Leave it up. And run away giggling.

[A]

Run it up. Leave it up. Yeah, this, hijinks like that.

[C]

You guys gotta be calling the front desk on each other.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

The guy next to me.

[A]

Can you sense dying? Two 12s.

[C]

I think he's rubbing one out really loud.

[A]

Really loud. It's disturbed. I'm trying to take a Nap.

[B]

Sir, it's 2:30 in the morning. What are you napping for?

[A]

We could doordash like lube and Jergens to the, the bride and groom's room.

[B]

You know, with the dollar dance money.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, we'll, we'll, we'll take that money and then we'll invest in hijinks with it.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

We could throw like all like the, the poolside chair cushions into the pool.

[B]

Yep, yep. And then throw it.

[A]

And then we could play a game. We do a tick tock of like will it float if I jump on it? You know? You guys, how many, how many cushions will it take to support me?

[C]

The three of you got to get in the pool and get a, get a, a, a whirlpool going.

[A]

You could do a whirlpool. That would be fun. We gotta do that early though because if that, we get a whirlpool going and I got a belly full ice bucket challenge, I will be vomiting everywhere. And then that's a whole another hosta.

[D]

That's okay. You don't have to clean it up.

[A]

Also we gotta do it right away because if I'm drinking in the pool, you guys know how that goes.

[B]

Yeah, you have to drink. I mean if it's 2:30am you still have to drink. Yeah, you gotta get you, you gotta do wake up calls for the other guys. Like, like a 5am Wake up call.

[A]

That would be a hilarious prank.

[B]

Good one. Some good tomfoolery.

[A]

Yeah, Maybe we could bring a mitt and a ball. And we have three rooms, so there's a whole gap. We could just play catch through the rooms.

[B]

You could do grounders too.

[A]

Yeah, we could do ground.

[C]

Go out to the hallway for that.

[D]

Yeah, we could order an escort for the bride and groom and says and then have the tell the escort that the groom ordered the escort.

[A]

That would always.

[B]

The groom's dad ordered the escort.

[C]

Jared, do a whole new.

[A]

We're talking about I love where your head's at.

[C]

We went from grounders in the hallway to hookers.

[A]

Love where your head's at, you know, Escort General Tom Fool Jewelry. I like where your head's at, but let's maybe take it one step back.

[D]

Sorry I said we could. I'm not saying we're going to.

[A]

Let's. Let's order the porn package on their tv. That's a better option. Yeah. So when they walk in, it's just, you know, co ed singles at spring break.

[D]

You know, give it more pg.

[B]

Let's see. In the benefit of doing more PG with porn.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

The benefit of having this conversation now, though, is you guys, are. You already. You already have to talk about when you get there.

[A]

We're mentally mapping out the weekend, correct?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. You can just recap this conversation this weekend.

[D]

Game planning.

[B]

Yep. Well, then, I mean, you guys are gonna have to fill in your third buddy on all this Tom Foolery.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he's gonna have a heyday with it.

[A]

That's actually his nickname.

[B]

Heyday. Tomfoolery.

[C]

That's his full name.

[B]

Name.

[A]

Tom.

[B]

Tom Hayday.

[C]

His name is Tom Foolery and we call him Heyday.

[A]

You know him?

[B]

Yeah. He just got nominated to do the ice. Ice Bucket challenge, too, on Facebook. If you guys. You should post it on Facebook to start a new trend.

[C]

Just take them on Patreon. Take Tomfoolery.

[A]

If the. If the regular ice Bucket challenge wasn't for a good cause and charity and it. By doing our own Ice Bucket Challenge. Not mocking that, I think it actually would take off. It may still take off.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Could be a viral sensation. The new Ice Bucket Challenge. Hotel Ice Bucket Challenge.

[B]

Well, yeah, maybe you could get Windsor on it, too. Every. Every bottle of Windsor bought during this time. The Ice Bucket Challenge. Time frame, like that goes to charity. You know, we can. We can workshop it.

[A]

We were at a event where a guy turned into a shot girl. You know what I'm talking about?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

He walked around with. He bought shots at the bar and then walked around with a tray and just was handing them out to people. We could do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Really get the people going.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Tequila shots, too.

[D]

Yeah, but they have to be, like, in test tubes. They look a little more fancier and cooler and different.

[A]

Yeah. And they got to be just filled with, like, some sugary liqueur.

[D]

Yeah. We'll put some food color.

[A]

Right. And then charge 10 bucks for about a tenth of an ounce of alcohol.

[C]

15 bucks if they want the syringe shot.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, we gotta bring some syringes.

[B]

You could get body shots going on the bar just between, like, you three and then like the table is at the bar doing.

[A]

Yeah, we, we could. Instead of a dollar dance, we could do a body shot line where bride and groom just lay on the table, pay five bucks, do a body shot.

[B]

Actually, I. It's lucrative. You get.

[A]

And, and like weirdly like the guy's line is way longer. What's going on? Like having to apologize to her. You're like, hey, sorry, your line is longer. This is not how I thought this was gonna go.

[B]

But you're you, you're a couple now. I mean, you're in it forever. So hey, you're on your.

[A]

All your money.

[B]

Yep. When you're in Cambodia for free because of the $5 shot challenge, gonna be thanking you.

[C]

Just start throwing challenges behind everything changing.

[B]

Yeah. See, you guys like challenges?

[C]

Yeah, I'm gonna have the, the eight beers in my garage by myself challenge.

[B]

The garage sale challenge. How much can you sell?

[A]

Yeah, you put is like piss off your wife challenge.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then when she gets mad, you just go, honey, I'm doing the challenge.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She has to be like, oh, haha, you got me.

[C]

I won. Thanks.

[D]

Then you're like, you look so stupid right now.

[A]

Get so drunk it pisses off. Challenge y. And then when she gets mad, you're like, I'm doing the viral challenge. That's online.

[D]

We won.

[C]

I now nominate myself.

[D]

Pushes her off again.

[B]

You guys just keep nominating each other between the three of you. Be good.

[A]

So, yeah, I think it should be a pretty chill wedding.

[D]

Beautiful wedding.

[A]

But yeah. Yeah, I, I just keep forgetting that you're going to be at the wedding.

[B]

Not anymore.

[A]

Yeah, you got your, you, you got a. What are you wearing? You wearing shirt. Wearing a suit.

[D]

No, I'm not going to wear a tie. I was thinking about it.

[A]

You guys are tag a button up in slacks. I think so. Yeah.

[D]

But the only button up I like is black, so I'm going to look like I'm going to a funeral.

[C]

You are.

[B]

A funeral for your liver.

[A]

And the groom.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

And the groom. Oops.

[D]

So I gotta figure out, I gotta buy a new shirt. What are you wearing?

[A]

I'll wear a shirt. Okay, good shirt. I'm aware I might wear a suit coat.

[D]

Oh yeah. Blazer.

[C]

Jared, you should show up with a pocket watch.

[A]

Oh, should I bring the pocket watch? Could be a great conversation piece. It's always a great conversation piece. Yeah, I'm gonna do that. Then I gotta wear a vest with it, which then it's like, then it's.

[B]

Like, are you the groomer?

[A]

But then Also great. Bit later. Shirt off, only vest on. Like we're back. Prom 2010p watch hanging out. Yeah, that would be a move. Dude. Tie around the forehead. Only wearing a vest with the pocket watch in it could be the move.

[B]

And the bride wearing your suit coat. Coat.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I just. I just. Just in case.

[A]

I mean, an can wear it. Sure.

[B]

Yeah. Just in case I just throw that out there.

[D]

It's gonna be epic.

[A]

It's gonna be epic. So what are you guys doing this weekend?

[C]

It's my anniversary.

[B]

I got a two year old birthday party that apparently you're gonna have missed, so. That's sick.

[A]

I might be back. I might be back.

[B]

So we might be at.

[A]

We could run it back. We can run it back. I'll pick you up an ice bucket.

[B]

Okay. All right, let's keep it going. I'm gonna be fresh, ready to dance.

[C]

I need to take two ice buckets. One to revitalize himself and one to get you in.

[A]

Yeah. I'll do like five liquid IVs in the ice back. Ice bucket on the way back home and then I'll dump that out and we can run it back.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Gets pulled over. He's like, you better not be doing the ice bucket challenge by the.

[A]

It's liquid iv, I promise.

[B]

Hell yeah. Yeah. We could be at the same two year old birthday party.

[A]

Yeah, we'll see. We'll see if we make it back or not. We'll see how long the continental breakfast goes because that's really how the kicker if. If it's. If you know those bagged eggs are going down, I don't see any end in sight.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Bottomless eggs.

[B]

Yeah. You guys be drinking fountain apple juice too until that fucker's gone.

[A]

Yeah. We could wheeze the juice. Wheeze the apple juice right out of the machine.

[B]

Yep.

[D]

It was wheezy made.

[A]

It's like when you stick your head under the nozzle, it goes right in your mouth. Yeah.

[D]

Make my own waffle for whatever reason.

[B]

Yeah. Forget it. Or not know how to spin it.

[C]

You sit there for five minutes. The clock is.

[A]

I mean, here's the question. If you brought your own waffle mix in a bag. Bag. You could just plug the waffle maker in and just make waffles whenever you want. Right. It doesn't have to be during continental breakfast.

[C]

Yeah. You just have to somehow bring your waffle mix in.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I just mix it at home. Put in a Ziploc, cut.

[B]

Cut the corner and just squeeze it out.

[D]

Yeah, that's smart, Ryan.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Kodiak cakes.

[B]

Casey's.

[A]

You big Kodiak kicks guy.

[B]

I used to be. I used to be back in the day.

[A]

They're fine, right? I've had them before. They're fine.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I just think it's funny.

[A]

Like, it's protein. Pancakes.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

That's where I need my proteins from.

[B]

Pancakes. Yeah. With a. Yeah, with half a bottle of Aunt Jemima on it.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

The best part.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, yeah, should be good.

[B]

Sweet.

[D]

Gonna be lit.

[A]

You got a fun fact, Jared? Yep.

[D]

Take me Home, Country Roads by John Denver was not originally written written about West Virginia, but the neighboring state, Maryland. When writing the chorus, they found that West Virginia fit the cadence better than Maryland, so they changed the lyrics to fit that state.

[A]

Maryland. Tough news for the people of West Virginia and Maryland.

[C]

Yeah. What could have been.

[A]

Could be a stolen valor situation for West Virginia.

[C]

Yeah. They put a lot of stock into that song, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, you can make it work.

[C]

West Virginia is definitely better. They made the right choice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm trying to think about what. What else would fit in there. New England.

[A]

New England, North Dakota.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I do think it's Colorado. Every, like, local band, when they cover that song, changes the state to whatever state they're in.

[A]

Oh, do they?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I don't know if I've heard a lot. I haven't heard tripwire32 below cover that song before, too.

[D]

Shift based.

[A]

Yeah. I haven't heard the blenders do it live.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's a Christmas thing. Yeah. They're seasonal.

[D]

Santa Claus.

[B]

Santa Claus. Yeah.

[A]

Red River Valley wood chipper.

[D]

Crosses their.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, God, yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. When I was at We Fest, Hardy was wearing a Zorbas T shirt. Local restaurant crowd went nuts.

[B]

I'm sure he was drinking beer out of his Orbis.

[C]

No S's.

[A]

Yeah. No, they're allergic to S's.

[C]

Having a sweet time.

[B]

Yeah, I'm trying to. I. I'm. I'm waiting for my moment where I can catch him slipping, too.

[A]

I bet someone's been fired over that.

[B]

Probably.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You put a S on the menu?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What is this?

[B]

Or, like, I'll. Like. I'll see someone who works here. I'll see their name tag, and it's like. It's like Shannon or something. I'll be like, Shannon.

[A]

Hey, Jenon Jennon. What's going on? Kind of sounds like how Flops talks. He kind of turns his S's into Z's.

[D]

Does he work for Zora's Market that's.

[A]

Why it's.

[B]

Seth.

[D]

Zamantha.

[B]

Zamantha. Yep.

[A]

Yep. Lot of graphic designers have been fired for putting S's on instead of Z's over there at Zorbas. It's tough. Tough cutthroat game. Z's and S's game. Sometimes it doesn't make it hard to read stuff once in a while though.

[B]

For sure.

[C]

Makes you look at it longer, though.

[A]

It's true. Great marketing.

[C]

Great marketing.

[A]

Great marketing. All right, well. Is that it, Jared? Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of you Bet your Radio. Have a great week and we'll see you in the next one. You betcha. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

How do I stop getting charcuterie boards? About to get tied down in roughly seven days and have started getting wedding gifts. So far there have been eight different charcuterie boards in the house. We already had it five. That's double digit charcuterie board.

[A]

Please help, brother. Thirteen charcuterie boards total. I think what you do is you go down to the street fair and you just pop up a tent.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Start selling sugar. That 13 is enough to have a.

[B]

10 handmade charcuterie boards with my last name and a specific date on them.

[A]

Well, no, just take a sander and sand it down.

[B]

Point. Good point. Restain. Yeah, I guess if you didn't want to do that, you. I mean, you got a. You got like a deer. Deer meat processing cutting board. You have a fish cutting. You just turn them into cutting boards at that point.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's still a crazy amount of cutting board.

[B]

It's crazy.

[A]

Well, so. Yeah, so just pull. Yeah, put a shar. Start putting them as decorations up on the walls in different rooms.

[B]

Yeah, you could like building Legos. Just have them build a Lego sit like a LEGO set on the charcuterie board. So you have.

[A]

Yeah, it's not a shririe board, it's a LEGO board.

[C]

I mean, if you're handy, you could make like nightstands with them. Have them be the countertop.

[B]

It's a good point. You could also cut them. Cut. Cut them. Cut squares out of them and make them as coasters.

[A]

You could sell them on Etsy and you know how like they have like examples where they actually show the engraving you can get and then have a thing where they can do custom engravings and then just send them yours and they'd be like, oh, oh, sorry, we, we like accidentally sent you the wrong one. You just keep it and then shut down your shop.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Say it's a collector's item.

[B]

Shut down shop.

[C]

Since you order this, we've gone out of business, so we're not gonna be able to get you.

[B]

Yeah, we have. Yeah, we have a lot of money.

[C]

On their page, it says active one hour ago.

[A]

Yeah. Just start using them as, like, TV trays. You just set on your lap. Lap, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Put your. You sit and watch it on the couch. Just put that in there. And then put your plate on top of there.

[C]

These. These things say your last name on them. Just start gifting them out to everybody in your family when they get married.

[A]

It would suck if the date was on it.

[C]

Date. Date ruins.

[A]

It's also like, remember our wedding you love so much? Here's a charcuterie board with our last name and the date on it because you love your wedding so much.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Instead of give them out as groomsmen and bridesmaid gifts at the wedding.

[D]

There we go.

[A]

Yep, There we go.

[C]

There should be enough.

[B]

Well, I was gonna say I'd love.

[A]

To see episode 31 kind of compete with that type of brain.

[B]

I was gonna say, normally people do koozies with, like, the name and then the date on it. Like, say, all right. Hey. The first 13 people who show up to the wedding get a koozie and a charcuterie board.

[D]

There we go, Ryan.

[B]

Boom. Look, create a little bit.

[A]

I love how it's like. Like, I love. I love how it's like. You, like, weddings, have a problem with people not showing up early enough.

[C]

Like, people are popping in mid ceremony.

[A]

Like. Yeah, like a. Like a. Yeah.

[B]

If Tyler did that at his wedding, we. We would not have been getting a charcuterie board.

[C]

No.

[A]

That is fully Anne's fault.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We were destined to be on time. All she had to do was stay in the roundabout. Stay in the roundabout. Stay in the roundabout. About exited.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

We were on 10 to 12 minutes to our route, and I think we had to.

[B]

I had to call you.

[C]

You did?

[B]

15 minutes before your wedding?

[C]

Yep.

[D]

That's terrible.

[B]

I know. And I still feel. Why did we.

[A]

You called him?

[B]

I think so. Because either we had the wrong address, or I. I don't know, something.

[C]

Hey, can you hold off on the wedding till we get there?

[B]

Keep that drone on the. Keep it. Keep that drone grounded.

[A]

No, don't waste battery.

[C]

It was a surprise. I actually, though, know if I would be so annoyed if I showed up to a wedding and they're like, here's a charcuterie board to carry around. Keep that on you the rest of the night.

[D]

Took, like, the bus shuttle there.

[C]

Yeah. All Those charcuterie boards would get left at their table at the dinner.

[A]

No, what you should do is take all those charcuterie boards, serve charcuterie at your wedding on the boards. You gotta have 13 tables for sure. If you have more than 13 tables, you're probably doing something wrong. Wrong. Right.

[D]

People don't like.

[C]

I feel like you had more than 13 tables.

[A]

I know we did something wrong. We made it too big.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Anyways, technically, do you want the technicality? Because technically there was like, it was mostly just like eight really long tables. So I think we had 20 some.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. Your favorite 13 people get free shur. You serve it on those. The people who gave it to be like, oh, my God, they're using the charcuterie board we gave them. And then you just forget to take them home.

[D]

Wedding brand new house them.

[C]

Now it's their problem.

[A]

Yeah. They can burn them. Or you could do burn pile.

[B]

I was just gonna say you could, you could just take a chop saw and like really thin pieces. Great kindling. Yeah. You know, usually it's like some sort of ochre. Black walnut. Black walnuts. Great piece of wood.

[A]

Or just do just like, remember your grandma or whoever used to make a blanket out of your shirts from high school? You remember that? Like your old shirts, like cut them up and put them into a blanket. Could do some sort of thing like that with the charcuterie boards.

[C]

You know, make a whole kitchen table.

[B]

Make it.

[A]

Yeah. Just piece them together and make something out of them.

[B]

Accent wall or something.

[A]

Accent wall. Maybe even a blanket. It, you know.

[C]

Comfy.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, you could just. You put that over your kids box spring with a little, little mattress or.

[A]

I don't know, solid even.

[C]

In my day, my blanket was made of wood.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you, if you have a, if you have a, like a, a. A table that's kind of tippy. Just slide one of those.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Or yeah, you have a sleepover, your buddy needs a blanket. Just give him that one blanket.

[A]

Cal. Friend. A blanket comes out with like four charcuterie boards.

[C]

Just clacking.

[A]

There you go, man.

[C]

Oh, here's a pillow. There's another one.

[B]

You could use them for sighting and deer rifles in the fall.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yep. And you can stack them higher if you need them.

[C]

Just make sure. And every time anyone that gave you one asks where it is, you'd be like, oh, yeah, we brought it to a party and we forgot it there. We're just, we'll we'll get it next time we go back.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's out at the lake. Yep. That lake. Lake Cooter board.

[D]

Then they're at the lake.

[A]

You're like, you know what? Last weekend, we took it home.

[B]

You made me think of it. We brought that sucker home. Forgot you were coming.

[D]

You pretend to get so mad at yourself.

[A]

It's a great way to get out of a weird situation. Just get pissed at yourself. I am such a idiot. God damn it.

[B]

I always do this.

[A]

Oh, I'm so sorry about that. God, I'm just a.

[B]

And then you're so mad.

[A]

This is why my wife hates me.

[D]

Surprise. You're still married.

[A]

This is why my dad left.

[B]

Golly, you get so mad at yourself.

[A]

Oh, okay. Yeah. Does anyone need anything to drink?

[B]

You pull that charcuterie board out and break it over your head, God damn it. Yeah, I just needed to break something. Oh, that was your charcuterie board. Whoops.

[D]

Yeah, it's your old odds, guys.

[A]

If you want more, you betcha. Radio, you gotta check out our Patreon. You gotta go to patreon.com, you betchradio. Or look us up on the app. And we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you gotta check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.