Emergency Therapy Session (Myles Vs. Ryan) 🎙 #372

Summary

You Betcha Radio – "Emergency Therapy Session (Myles Vs. Ryan)" #372 (April 8, 2026)

---

Episode Overview

The gang at You Betcha Radio dives into a classic episode centered around Midwestern culture, gym arguments, playful banter, and that signature blend of nostalgia and man culture. Tensions rise as Myles and Ryan revisit a heated debate from Patreon about how to get "diced for summer" without giving up beers and bad food—in true Midwest form, it devolves into friendly mock-therapy, Midwestern wisdom, and rounds of brutally honest, hilarious advice. Along the way: a Midwest "Am I the Asshole?" segment, a rapid-fire bit on dating app names, and a poetic look at their favorite song lyrics.

---

Key Themes & Segments

---

1. Patreon Recap & The Rocky Balboaner Question (00:21–09:05)

• Context: Revisiting a Patreon episode where a listener, "Rocky Balboaner," asks for advice on getting lean for summer without sacrificing beers or "Domino Dan" eating habits.
• The Question: "Can you offer any advice on how to stick to a diet while still being able to crush beers?" (02:22)
• Key Advice:
  • Tyler: Skip breakfast, add walks to your routine, and focus on cardio like running—summarizing his own success losing weight by running and skipping breakfast. (02:32–05:19)
    • "I lost a shitload of weight in a short amount of time by running." – Tyler (05:19)
  • Ryan: If you don’t want to cut calories from food or drinks, you have to up the cardio—"You gotta start running or swimming or cycling. Is what we said. One of those. You got to pick." (03:57)
  • Miles: Argues the key is dietary discipline, intermittent fasting, or burning more calories—friendly debate over whether running or dietary changes are more "realistic" for achieving a cut physique. (04:55+)
• Debate Energy:
  • The group rehashes who misread the question and pokes fun at each other's expert status, recalling the classic Midwest "never back down even when you’re wrong" ethos.
  • Quote: "If you want to get diced and you don’t want to eat clean, you’ve got to start running." – Ryan (06:09)

---

2. Group Therapy Session: Banter & Honesty (09:13–22:06)

• Prompt: The guys (half-jokingly) try to "fix the energy" in the room after the recap turns tense. They go around saying something nice about each other, often undercutting with “Midwestern compliments.”
  • "You have gotten so far in life without doing much critical thinking. It’s really amazing." – Miles to Ryan (10:26)
• Real Talk: Turned into a mock therapy session about why tempers flare, how each guy debates, and what triggers their Midwest stubbornness.
  • Miles: "Me getting worked up is like... how I put the nail in the coffin. There's passion behind it." (17:16)
  • Ryan: "Once I've decided that I'm mean [right], I just will scratch and claw at everything to make it happen." (17:56)
  • Tyler: "Sometimes we kick a dead horse and it's probably healthier just to move on." (19:11)
• Resolution: They agree that therapy—or at least banter—is healthy, laugh off the rivalry, and move on.

---

3. Dating App Name Tangents (23:05–25:58)

• Running Gag: The crew riff on what dating apps would be if taken literally, e.g. Tinder for fire-starting, Hinge for door repairs, Grinder for metalworkers/sandwich artists, etc.
  • "Hinge, I think, is a website for guys getting advice on doors." – Ryan (23:05)
  • "Christian Mingle? That's just where all the dudes named Christian mingle." – Tyler (24:05)
• Classic Midwest, blue-collar, literal humor.

---

4. Midwest “How to Know a Guy Knows What He’s Doing” (26:07–44:02)

• Midwest Wisdom:
  • A guy who doesn’t explain what he’s doing knows what he’s doing—over-explaining = figuring it out in real time.
    • "If you knew how to do it, you would just go do it." – Ryan (27:14)
  • Confidence indicators: Cigarette in mouth, underdressed for the weather, handwritten bills, no website, call/no answer/leave a message.
  • Red rag in the back pocket or pencil behind the ear = competent.
  • "If he rolls up in his own vehicle, no online presence, handwritten bills... he knows what he's doing." – Miles (29:19)
  • Mechanics with cigs, tow truck drivers in Crocs and shorts even in winter, and soft hands = not the guy for the job.
• Fishing Guides, Handshakes & Pop Culture:
  • Discussion on experts over-explaining to sound impressive.
  • "A guy knows what he's doing if he knows nothing about pop culture." (39:53)

---

5. Midwest Life: Trees, Power Lines & Homeownership (41:14–44:03)

• Tyler’s Saga: Must remove a beloved 50-year-old pine tree because of new power line regulations post-California wildfire. Reflections on homeownership and boomer advice.
• Vasectomy Bits: Brainstorming on turning personal experience into an e-book ("My Testes and Me") for profit, poking fun at medical/insurance bureaucracy. (44:27)

---

6. Ad Break – Brunt Workwear (46:32–50:50)

(Content skipped per guidelines)

---

7. Favorite Song Lyrics & “Deep Meanings” (50:50–72:11)

• Segment Setup: Mock-poetry reading – share a favorite lyric and what it means "to you."
  • Ryan: "Stop, drop, kaboom, baby rub on your nipples." (Ludacris) – Interpreted as a reminder for breast cancer self-exams in a relatable, Holiday Inn context. (52:31)
  • Tyler: "Let me hit it raw, like the outcome a none of us would be here without cum." (Kanye West) – Calls to “raw dog life,” appreciate existence, and be grateful for your dad’s contributions. (56:01)
  • Jared: "Safe sex is great sex, better wear a latex, 'cause you don’t want that latex, that I think I’m latex." (Lil Wayne) – Public health announcement on safe sex. (57:28)
  • Miles: "Picture this – we were both butt naked banging on the bathroom floor." (Shaggy) – Reinterpreted as a cry for help/mental health awareness or multiple personalities ("It wasn't me!"). (59:29–61:41)
  • Tyler (DJ Shadow): "I'm a bag of dicks, put me to your lips... I'll punch a baby bear in his shit." – Satirical interpretations, playful banter about laundry, Dickies workwear, and being "brand loyal" at the laundromat. (62:34–64:35)
  • Miles (WAP): "Park that big mac truck right in this little garage." – Read as workplace power dynamics, then literal pool safety ("wear a lifejacket if you’re going deep"). (64:46)
  • Tyler (Billy Squier): “Stroke me, stroke me.” – Recast as a plea for emotional support ("Support me.") and a massage therapy anthem. (70:09)
• Memorable Quote: "None of us would be here without cum." – Tyler (56:34)

---

8. Am I the Asshole? – Midwest Dilemmas Rapid Fire (72:15–85:55)

• Midwestern "AITA?" Scenarios:
  1. Golf Beer Mooching: Is it wrong not to buy rounds back if people keep buying you beers on the course?
     – Mixed, but "Don't accept more than one if you won't return the favor." (73:36)
  2. Office Nerf Gun War: Is it okay to throw away coworkers' darts if you’re not part of the Nerf gun war?
     – Not an asshole. "All in or all out." If you’re not playing, don’t shoot them at others. (75:51)
  3. Drive-Thru Ordering: Is it mean to make passengers order their own food at the window?
     – Not an asshole—keeps things moving and avoids mistakes. (81:18)
  4. Messy Work Trucks: Is it okay to put a coworker's trash back in their toolbox if they leave the truck a mess?
     – Perfect Midwest payback—totally acceptable. (83:20)
  5. Toilet Paper Shortages at Work: Do you have to tell the next person when you used the last roll?
     – Not an asshole, but the "unwritten rule" is to check before you sit. (84:08)

---

9. Fun Fact & Wrap-Up (85:55–88:06)

• Weekly Fun Fact: In 1983, a man took hostages at Augusta National while President Reagan was golfing; he demanded to talk to the President about economic struggles but the standoff ended peacefully. (85:55)
  • "That's the only way you can get on Augusta these days." – Tyler (86:35)
• Closing Banter: Laughter and classic Midwest ‘dad wisdom’ about Reaganomics and Augusta National.

---

Notable & Quotable Moments

• "If you knew how to do it, you would just go do it." – Ryan (27:14)
• "I lifted a whole bunch... I lost a shitload of weight in a short amount of time by running." – Tyler (05:19)
• "Support me, support me. Over and over. Stroke me is striking me right now." – Tyler (70:34)
• "None of us would be here without cum." – Tyler (56:34)
• "You have gotten so far in life without doing much critical thinking." – Miles to Ryan (10:26)
• "Cardio is not the answer." – Miles, starting the cardio-vs-diet debate (90:27)
• "Do whatever makes you happy... Start smoking cigs... Do a little meth." – Group riffing, with typical dark-humor (20:00)

---

Essential Takeaways

• The You Betcha crew brings classic Midwest banter to practical questions: when in doubt, run, but don't underestimate the power of just eating a little less—or, in true Midwest fashion, just enjoy life and don’t stress too much.
• Knowing a guy "knows what he's doing" often comes down to how much he doesn't explain, literal blue-collar cred like a cigarette in his mouth, or that proper callused handshake.
• Being a good friend is about knowing when to dig in, when to laugh about it, and when to call a therapy session.
• Midwest etiquette is obsessed with fairness, honesty, and a gentle ribbing that always masks genuine appreciation.
• Even in the lyrics of crude pop rap, there’s a strange beauty that, when interpreted in a group of dudes, becomes a wellness PSA, a celebration of dad-hood, or a call for mental health awareness.

---

For the True Midwest Therapist Experience, Listen to the Full Episode—But Rest Easy: The Debates Never Get Too Serious, and a Hug Is Always an Option (even if no one really gives one).

Transcript

[Ryan]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of you Bet yout Radio. It's the second time I've done that. I think that's actually the first time you faked me out in all 300 and some episodes we've done.

[Tyler]

Nice one, Jared.

[Jared]

It wasn't on purpose either.

[Ryan]

Now, I am glad that you said we weren't recording after the first line and not after the first segment.

[Jared]

That would have been bad.

[Ryan]

That would have been bad. I will have to applaud you, Jared. Statistically, you're bad and pretty good. Yeah, like, like, other than that was your first up. How many episodes have we done?

[Jared]

This is 372.

[Ryan]

And how many Patreon episodes?

[Jared]

221.

[Ryan]

So over almost 600. Almost 600 episodes. And the only time we've ever had technical issues is if, like, the computer fails. You've never not pressed record.

[Jared]

You're gonna jinx it. I'm gonna screw up. Next up, your jigs. It's so hard.

[Tyler]

You're talking about his no hitter.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's basically it.

[Ryan]

But, you know, like, what's one divided by 600?

[Tyler]

Couldn't tell you.

[Ryan]

It's a low percentage.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Tell you that much.

[Jared]

I try.

[Ryan]

It's not zero.

[Jared]

No, I'll do better next time.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, you just never will be able to get your perfect game back. Yeah, I talked about it after you ruined it.

[Jared]

That's true.

[Miles]

So, yeah, yeah, that's a good point.

[Jared]

I ruined the streak.

[Ryan]

That's a good point.

[Tyler]

Patreon's still going.

[Jared]

Yep. Day zero since an incident.

[Ryan]

Yeah. But we're back. We're feeling good. What do we got for the rundown? Huh? What we we got. We have a Patreon recap for Tyler.

[Tyler]

Oh, thank you.

[Jared]

So it's just one thing. I just want to pick Tyler's brain on this. So Tyler can. Tyler's going to answer this, then you guys can chime in.

[Ryan]

Okay. So this happened on last week's Patreon, and for those that aren't patrons, we got a whole another podcast going over on patreon.com you bet your radio. Or download the app and search us. Good time over there.

[Miles]

Very good time.

[Jared]

So, Tyler, rocky, Balboner. I want to get diced for summer. I lift regularly and have a good amount of muscle, but I also like to house beers with the boys. And I have an inner domino. Dan, can you offer any advice on how to stick to a diet while still being able to crush beers?

[Tyler]

Stick to a diet and crush beers.

[Ryan]

What do you think you should do like.

[Tyler]

He wants to be able to drink and still be cut, diced.

[Jared]

Yes.

[Tyler]

I would skip breakfast.

[Miles]

Thank you, Tyler.

[Tyler]

I'm not done.

[Ryan]

You have to wait till he's done.

[Tyler]

I would skip breakfast and then, like, he. What else. What did you say at the beginning that he already. He's doing.

[Jared]

I lift regularly and have good amount of muscle beers.

[Tyler]

Just mix in some, like, walks with your lifting. Like. Like get on the. Get on the treadmill and skip breakfast.

[Ryan]

What do you. What. What if you want to get diced fast? What should you do on the treadmill?

[Tyler]

You run

[Miles]

for, like, how long, do you think?

[Tyler]

I don't know. I mean, we.

[Ryan]

We never decided on an amount.

[Miles]

You. You said 45 minutes.

[Jared]

I said 45 minutes.

[Ryan]

He said 45.

[Miles]

But you two are on the same team.

[Ryan]

I know, but I'm the only exercise scientists in this room.

[Miles]

Dude, the statue of limitations ran out on that.

[Ryan]

No, I spent over 10 years.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I'm genuinely nervous about this statute.

[Miles]

Statute of limits up.

[Tyler]

See it in their eyes. And, like, I'm both of them just burning a hole through me.

[Ryan]

Literally. Literally. The guy goes, I want to drink beer and still eat like, Domino Dan. And then Ryan goes, well, you just got to eat clean. He doesn't want to do that. So my other option is. The only other option you have is just to start running.

[Miles]

That's it.

[Ryan]

You're already lifting weights. You don't want to change your diet and. Or drinking behavior, so you gotta start running or swimming or cycling. Is what we said. One of those. You got to pick.

[Miles]

Did he ask how does he stick to a diet and still house beers? Is that. Is that. Is that in there that. Read the end of this for me, please.

[Jared]

Oh, I see. Can you offer any advice on how to stick to a diet while still being able to crush beers?

[Tyler]

That's why I said the skip breakfast thing. That was my answer to the diet.

[Ryan]

I don't think you read that on Patreon. But regardless, he said he's the dominant.

[Miles]

He's just looking for advice on how to. How to stick to a diet.

[Ryan]

But what I'm saying is, if that was what he wanted, if he wants to figure out how to be on a diet, then just stop eating. I've already said that the intermittent fasting

[Tyler]

thing is, but I was under the

[Ryan]

impression that he didn't want to stop eating bad. So your only other option is just to burn more calories then?

[Miles]

Okay, yeah. If that wasn't the question, you would have been you.

[Ryan]

We're we're arguing apples to oranges here.

[Tyler]

Okay, I'll give some real life. Some. A real life comparison here. And I, you know how much I don't like talking about me working out.

[Miles]

For sure.

[Tyler]

I lifted a whole bunch from like, beginning of November to probably New Year's, right. And I lost a little bit of weight. But then from New Year's to the middle of February, when we went on vacation, I lost, like, 12 pounds. And all I did was run that whole time. Yeah. And I skipped breakfast, so it is. I lost a shitload of weight in a short amount of time by running.

[Ryan]

So that was what we talked about on Patreon last week. Yeah, we talked about other stuff other than that, but Ryan really mad at me.

[Tyler]

I have a.

[Miles]

No, I didn't. I was just. I. I just trying to. I was answering the question to the best of my ability. Because he's looking for advice on how to get diced.

[Ryan]

I know, but you know how easy the question would have been if it just been like, what's. How do I lose weight? But that wasn't the question. How's the beers?

[Miles]

How do I stick to a diet?

[Ryan]

Because, yeah, it's work out and eat good.

[Tyler]

Boom.

[Ryan]

Question over. I thought he didn't want to eat good. No, don't give me that.

[Tyler]

I have a feeling it took up more than a little bit of the Patreon episode.

[Jared]

Oh, it's at least 10 minutes.

[Tyler]

Oh, that's low. Actually, I was expecting this to be like a 20 minute argument.

[Ryan]

No, it's all good. All right, what else do we got?

[Jared]

How do you know a guy knows what he's doing?

[Ryan]

It's like. It's like Ryan is arguing. He's like. It's basically like, hey, I'm a. I'm a. Basically, the guy said, hey, I'm a dad, and I want to get better at golf. And Ryan's advice was, well, you should quit your job. You should go to the range every day. You should hit 3,000 putts a day. You should play 36 holes every single day, and then you'll be better at golf. Was basically what Ryan's argument was.

[Miles]

No, you can't. You can't project on me for not knowing what the question was.

[Ryan]

He's a dad, so he must not have a lot of time. So a way to get better is just go to the range once a week.

[Miles]

No, you can't project because you didn't know what the question was.

[Ryan]

That was my interpretation.

[Miles]

I was answering the question, which is why I was Arguing against it.

[Ryan]

That was my interpretation of the question,

[Miles]

and it wasn't correct.

[Ryan]

Also, if. That is, if he does want to eat a diet, that's on Jared for not bringing that up when I was arguing.

[Miles]

It was brought up. It was. The whole question was read on Patreon.

[Tyler]

Somebody will roll tape for Patreon this week.

[Jared]

Yeah, I don't know. Maybe.

[Ryan]

But anyways.

[Tyler]

Not you, Jer.

[Ryan]

This is. I just wanted to demonstrate the advice that you were giving versus the advice that I was giving in another scenario so it doesn't get muddy.

[Miles]

Yeah, you were giving. You weren't giving advice because you weren't giving advice based on getting the question. That's why I was arguing from Jared. The question. The full question was read.

[Ryan]

So just wanted to point that out.

[Miles]

Nothing to point out. If anything, I'm. I should be pointing out, which I am, that you misread the question. Therefore you gave.

[Ryan]

Read the question. I was given it into my ears

[Jared]

by someone else's mouth.

[Miles]

Well, he's not looking to eat a diet either. He's going to stick someone.

[Ryan]

Someone else so vibrated their vocal cords. I can keep going through a microphone. Went through a cord and into my ears.

[Miles]

Well, you said. You just said before this he was trying to eat a diet, which he was actually trying to stick to it.

[Ryan]

Read it at all.

[Jared]

It could have been a technical difficulty in your headphones.

[Ryan]

You just never know. Sometimes the headphones just aren't working that right. But I kept saying, he wants to eat. He doesn't want to change his diet. And Jared was like, oh, yeah, Yup, that's what he's saying.

[Tyler]

It sounds like he's okay with changing what he wants to eat, but he just wants to still get really drunk and drink a lot of beers.

[Ryan]

Even in that scenario, I do think running is going to be your best option. What else are we doing, Jared?

[Jared]

How you know a guy knows what he's doing?

[Ryan]

All right, here we go. Before we do this segment, we all have to go around the room and say something nice about each other. Okay, I'll start. And I'll go. I'll go left to. Well, I'll go right to left. So I'll go left to right. So I'll go to my right. Taller. You are an unbelievable survivalist.

[Tyler]

Thank you.

[Ryan]

You're really good at that.

[Tyler]

Thanks.

[Ryan]

Okay, go to Jared.

[Tyler]

Jared, I. I think you're really good at always trying to improve.

[Ryan]

Oh.

[Tyler]

Everything you do is to get better.

[Ryan]

Jared, go ahead.

[Jared]

Ryan, you are one of the hardest workers I know.

[Ryan]

That is A very true statement, Miles.

[Miles]

I really like how you won't admit that you're wrong in, in person, but you will admit it tonight in. When you're in zero gravity, fall asleep in your own head.

[Ryan]

That wasn't really. I don't really get it. So you're saying that when I go home tonight, I'm going to say Ryan was right in my own head.

[Miles]

Correct. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan]

I don't think you've ever had a look inside my head. I don't think that's what's going on at all.

[Tyler]

I don't know if I ever want to.

[Jared]

All right, let's go left to right now.

[Ryan]

Okay. Ryan. Ryan, you have gotten so far in life without doing much critical thinking. And it's really amazing. And I just, it's, it's really impressive and I'm proud of your grit.

[Miles]

Shoot. Can we go right to left now?

[Jared]

Yeah, sure.

[Ryan]

Left to right.

[Jared]

We can pick.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's uno. Reverse.

[Miles]

No, I'll be the bigger man. I'll be the bigger man. Mentally, I'll be the big.

[Tyler]

Not if you start running, Miles.

[Ryan]

That's true. I bet I could drop down pretty quick.

[Miles]

It's all good.

[Ryan]

Are you gonna ping pong?

[Miles]

No, I, I, I'm, I'm gonna, I'll, I'll end this segment right now because I'll, I'll say something I should.

[Jared]

Okay. How, you know, a guy knows what he's doing.

[Ryan]

I would actually love to know what he would say.

[Miles]

No, I don't have anything.

[Ryan]

I just, I would, I would like if I, if I were to know what that is.

[Miles]

No, no, no, no. There was nothing in my head I was going to say, but I said something, and I was crediting you for understanding when you're wrong. Just admitting it outside of this room right here. And then you said something back to me. That one up that. So if I have to one up this, I don't, I just, I don't want across those waters.

[Tyler]

But you have to say something nice about Jared now, though.

[Miles]

No, because I said we should go the other way now.

[Ryan]

I know, but Jared, I, you can't one up what I said nicer because we're doing nice stuff to each other.

[Miles]

Yeah, but what you just said wasn't nice. I said all you've gotten so far in life without using any form of critical thinking. Yeah, here we go again. Now we're arguing.

[Ryan]

It's hard to do. And I'm saying I'm, it's, I'm really proud of you. I'm Sorry, Ryan, I didn't get much sleep last night.

[Miles]

Yeah, I didn't either. Jared, you want to keep. Should we keep going?

[Tyler]

I don't care. I'm not in charge.

[Ryan]

What do you like about Jared?

[Miles]

I think you have. I think you have a lot of courage for being able to run a marathon after eating Chinese food.

[Jared]

Oh, thank you.

[Miles]

Strength, courage, determination.

[Jared]

Not a lot of critical thinking.

[Miles]

No. You don't need that to get far though.

[Jared]

That's true.

[Ryan]

Thank you.

[Jared]

As we all know.

[Miles]

Yeah, thanks. Yep. Salt bay, right on the wound.

[Jared]

Tyler, you got really good, like, film analysis and show analysis.

[Tyler]

Thanks, Jared. Yeah, you do, Miles. I like that you will defend an opinion no matter what.

[Ryan]

Thank you, Jared.

[Tyler]

You'll stand by. You'll stand by your beliefs.

[Ryan]

It's good.

[Tyler]

Yeah, everyone's got to stick by their beliefs. Nothing worse than someone wishy washy.

[Ryan]

That's true.

[Tyler]

Even if you're wrong, you'll stand by

[Jared]

it against all odds.

[Ryan]

Well, thanks. I think we should end on that. That was a good segment.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it was, Tyler.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Ryan]

I just don't think that that was the correct way to start the podcast, Jared.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Now.

[Ryan]

So now before we move on the next segment, you gotta get the energy right in the room, Jared and I think that you gotta figure it out. How are we gonna do it?

[Jared]

Let me give you one minute.

[Ryan]

Do me and Ryan need to hug?

[Jared]

You can hug.

[Ryan]

You want to hug, Ryan?

[Miles]

I'm good.

[Ryan]

I'm all right. Okay, well, that just means that just. This isn't helping.

[Miles]

Well, hug if what Jared is about to do in one minute.

[Tyler]

What was this doesn't work. The segment was how, you know, someone knows what they're doing.

[Miles]

Shut up.

[Tyler]

That helped. I'm less scared now. Ryan, right now is like when my kids are grumpy and I'll be like, don't smile. Yeah, and then he'll smile a bunch.

[Ryan]

I like, Jared, that your only thing you know how to do is the soundboard.

[Jared]

I love the soundboard. It always cheers me up.

[Ryan]

Well, you gotta have another good one in there.

[Jared]

I have some copyrighted music in here.

[Tyler]

That's good.

[Miles]

Play it.

[Ryan]

We'll talk over it. That's true. You know what?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

This is a four minute long song.

[Jared]

We can't play it all.

[Ryan]

Yeah, No, I think this is just, you know, I. Sometimes I feel like I never know what's going to get you worked up, Ryan. Maybe we'll turn this into a therapy session. Sometimes I don't really.

[Miles]

Who me?

[Ryan]

For us, this is okay. In therapy you both share.

[Miles]

Sure.

[Tyler]

Group counseling.

[Ryan]

Sometimes I feel like I don't know what's going to set you off. And at times then when something sets you off that I think, shouldn't I. Then I then go, well, now, that kind of set me off that he got set off by that. And so therefore, I now want you to get set off even more is

[Tyler]

an I'm mad that you're mad situation.

[Ryan]

Well, no, it was just like, that's not something I felt like you should have got mad about, but you did, and so now I want to escalate it because that made me annoyed that you got mad about that. Because I don't really care about my opinion on the. The segment. I mostly am just annoyed that you got that worked up on the Patreon about it.

[Miles]

So.

[Ryan]

So that's my truth. What's your truth?

[Miles]

Well, okay, let's see. Okay, I can't. I can't focus with the sound effects. Hit the X in the top right corner.

[Jared]

Just.

[Ryan]

You got. But you got upset about that. That was funny.

[Miles]

No, no, no, we're. That. I was not upset. I think the only way that I can win, like, prove a point or win an argument that, like, I am, like, so sure of against you is by getting super worked up.

[Ryan]

I can see that.

[Miles]

Because if I don't get worked up, if I just talk in. If I just talk in my normal voice, then there's no, like, there's no. There's like, no passion behind it. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not heard.

[Ryan]

I understand that.

[Miles]

So. Because when you argue stuff, you'll, like, you'll keep going on and on and on, and that's like,

[Ryan]

the podcast is two and a half hours long. And I bet there's a correlation between when I'm trying to defend myself, correlation in length of episode. I bet those episodes are traditionally much longer. I get that.

[Miles]

Did that make sense?

[Ryan]

Yeah, that made a lot of sense. I think also, I have one very negative trait in that Once, like Tyler said, once I've decided that I'm. I mean, on something, I just will scratch and claw at everything to make it happen. And I understand that me scratching, clawing makes it look like my argument is weaker. So.

[Miles]

And I don't, like, I don't win. I don't really win a lot of arguments. So I think if there is an argument I. I like, I think I can win.

[Ryan]

You're all in.

[Miles]

Then I have to, like, me getting worked up is like, all right, I. This is how I fucking put. Put the nail in the coffin here by getting. You know. You know what I mean? Does that make sense?

[Ryan]

Yeah. Well, here, I'll let you have this win then.

[Miles]

No, no, no, I don't. No. I don't want to be handed anything. I don't want to be handed anything. That's not how this works.

[Ryan]

No, you won this one. No, no, no, no.

[Miles]

We're gonna leave it. We're gonna leave it where it is.

[Ryan]

We'll leave where it is. I'll let you have this one. So.

[Miles]

And maybe if we can get some more info on the question, what the actual goal is, I think we can come to a consensus. I think what should be done.

[Ryan]

Never talk about this question ever again.

[Tyler]

That's my therapy. I would like to. I think we.

[Ryan]

So you'd like to. You'd like to delay this till later?

[Tyler]

No, I would like to say my truth now that I think sometimes we kick a dead horse and it's probably healthier to just move on.

[Ryan]

That's exactly what I'm trying to say right now. I think it's best. Y. I thought we. I thought we left the dead horse last week in the Patreon episode. And then Jared, the rare beating a dead horse by Jared.

[Jared]

Well, yeah, we asked for a follow up from Rocky Bell Boner. So we'll find out what he has to say.

[Tyler]

Oh, so we have a part three coming. God damn it.

[Jared]

All right, well, we agreed to a follow up in the part one.

[Ryan]

No, I know, but that was on Patreon. Now we had. This is follow up. This is.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Anyways, doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Ryan won.

[Miles]

No, no, no. You know, I think.

[Ryan]

No, I didn't even say I let you in. I said you won.

[Miles]

I think simple advice from Rocky Balbona is do whatever makes you happy.

[Ryan]

Yeah, dude, just do whatever.

[Miles]

Yeah, can we all. I think we can all agree on that.

[Ryan]

Start smoking cigs.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

You'll get skinnier.

[Jared]

Ozempic.

[Tyler]

Do a little meth.

[Ryan]

Do a little Ozempic. Do a little meth. Clavicular says he does meth. You guys see that? Or was that an AI clip that I got boofed on?

[Jared]

I think he takes like, like some sort of Adderall. Meth. I don't think he actually smokes meth.

[Tyler]

It's an amphetamine.

[Ryan]

He takes a methamphetamine. As he said, it helps him keep the weight off. I think that's so that he can max meth maxing. So you could go that route. I don't Recommend it. No, I have to say that legally, I think on this podcast. I don't think.

[Tyler]

Think about that. There's no, like, hardcore meth head that's overweight.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Because they don't eat.

[Tyler]

Yeah. It's like, 100% effective.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

So food for thought, Ryan. Food for thought.

[Miles]

I've never seen meth.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Ryan]

As the winner of this argument, I would like for you to weigh. Why it doesn't matter what I do at this point now. If I argue, he gets mad at me. If I say that he won, he gets mad. What is a guy supposed to do? Tyler, help me out. What am I supposed to do?

[Tyler]

I think we. We just. We. Next segment.

[Ryan]

I actually feel like if we had a therapist break down what we just did there, I actually feel like that would say that that was healthy of us.

[Miles]

I think we. I did. I do think we learned a lot about each other. Because now that when I get worked up, you know, that I'm. I mean, on something, I'm trying to win an argument.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It's almost like the freight train is a coming and it ain't gonna stop, so maybe get off the tracks is what you're saying.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Now, you can't abuse that. Just start getting mad like that on everything.

[Miles]

No, I typically don't. No, I. How many episodes a month? You guys, like, out of four episodes that you think I worked up, like, 0.5. Out of four per month.

[Ryan]

Oh, at least one.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Out of the eight.

[Miles]

Out of the eight. Okay. One of eight.

[Tyler]

One of eight.

[Miles]

Which is not bad.

[Jared]

Yeah, I think that's fair.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And, like, I'll submit to just. Just to not have to argue. Tyler, you do that too. But there. There are days I'm. It's like I'm not gonna get choked out.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

You know, no submitting on my part.

[Ryan]

Nick D. And you won.

[Tyler]

This one I won't tap, but you have to put me to sleep.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So I want everyone to give a. Give a W in the chat for Ryan.

[Tyler]

Maybe gift a couple subs.

[Ryan]

If this was a children books, it would be called Ryan's Big Win.

[Tyler]

Hip, hip, hooray. Ryan won today. No.

[Miles]

Go subscribe to Patreon for my W.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, There you go. Show your appreciation for Ryan's W by subscribing to Patreon.

[Miles]

Patreon's my favorite.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's Ryan Unhinged.

[Miles]

Oh, no, I'm not unhinged.

[Jared]

But.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but it's right after dark.

[Ryan]

Ryan's unhinged.

[Miles]

No, I'm not that.

[Ryan]

What you said.

[Tyler]

No.

[Ryan]

That could be problematic.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Anyway, it's actually Hinge, I think, is a website for guys getting advice on doors. Oh, that could be a good new app.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Ry, would you like to be a 5050 partner in that with me? Why?

[Tyler]

No.

[Miles]

Because fixing hinges requires critical thinking.

[Tyler]

We need the soundboard back. That's a. Yeah, a verbal soundboard from here on out.

[Jared]

I think Tinder is how to start a fire.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

It's like a support group for guys who are not good at starting fires.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. See, Tinder's more up my alley, though, because I bumble.

[Tyler]

Could be for people with stutters. They bumble.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That's allergic to bees.

[Ryan]

Yeah. People who are trying to avoid bees. Signal on bumble Jake.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Farmers Only is just a support group for struggling farmers.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Tips and tricks.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

Tell you what kind of fruit they're putting down.

[Tyler]

Christian Mingles. It's like the Ryan meetup. It's just where all the dudes named Christian mingle.

[Ryan]

They can do Bible study.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Bible study. It's a. It's a app for guys named Christian who want to do a Bible study.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan]

They can mingle together.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

Grinders, like people that do metal work.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yep. Or sandwich. Sandwich artists.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Or you could, you know, they could expand into the weightlifting community. Guys just grinding, you know?

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. Grinders is a site for kids going to middle school dances.

[Tyler]

Yeah, totally.

[Ryan]

Ryan, would you say. Would you say that in your weightlifting heydays that you were abs, you were just grinding with other dudes in the gym?

[Miles]

No, because I worked out in my garage.

[Ryan]

So you were grinding with other dudes in your garage?

[Miles]

No, I wasn't grinding. The only person I was grinding with was myself.

[Ryan]

Okay, nice. Love yourself.

[Miles]

Before that. Yeah. When I was at the public gym four, five, six years ago, There's a lot of dudes there. I got to know him real well. Coffee hour.

[Ryan]

Drinking coffee.

[Tyler]

Coffee grinds.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Tyler]

So, yeah, I think we got all the dating apps.

[Miles]

Plenty of fish.

[Tyler]

Yeah. That's a seaside market.

[Miles]

Yeah. There's a guy, a place I worked at in summer sophomore college. He's on plenty of fish.

[Tyler]

What's that one? They did a documentary, the Cheaters. Adam and Eve.

[Ryan]

No, it was Ashley Madison.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

That's sex toy store for all the Ashleys that live in Madison, Wisconsin.

[Miles]

Yeah. Adam and Eve is like Mary Kay.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

Multi level marketing.

[Tyler]

Yep. But for dildos.

[Miles]

Correct. I think.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That I think it's a wide, you know.

[Tyler]

Okay. There's more to it. Okay.

[Ryan]

All right, Jared, what's the next segment? We're back. I know a guy knows what he's doing. You know, a guy knows what he's doing when he's not explaining what he's doing. Okay. Do you know what I mean? Let's say you're working on. This is funny. I'm about to explain. Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

Yeah. But you're not explaining the job that you're going to be doing as the person.

[Ryan]

I'm not describing, like, all right, I'm gonna do next segment.

[Miles]

Correct.

[Ryan]

I'm going to talk into the microphone, the podcast. It's like, let's say you're building a fence. The guy isn't talking about how he's going to build the fence and what techniques he thinks he's going to try and do. He's just going to build the fence. And when you ask him how to do it, he's going to say, just do it. That's how you know he knows what he's doing. And it also exposes you that you don't know what you're doing.

[Tyler]

Yeah, my. This is going to expose me to my wife because every time she asks for a project, I have to explain to her how I'm going to do it, because it's me actively figuring out how I'm going to do it.

[Ryan]

But if you knew how to do it, you would just go do it.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

So I think a guy who's over talking and over explaining his project doesn't know what he's doing. He's going to. It's going to sound like he knows what he's doing, but he does not.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jared]

He's basically filibustering until you walk away, is gauging reactions.

[Ryan]

You know, like, he says he's gonna do it this way, and if he. And if he gets like a. Oof. Then he's gonna be like, yeah, that's how I would do it if I didn't know what I was doing. Instead, I'm gonna do a different way, which I'll reveal to you when we do it.

[Jared]

Yeah, I was joking.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I would say, you know, a guy knows what he's doing if he does it with a cig in his mouth.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Tyler]

There's a lot of confidence there.

[Ryan]

Tow truck drivers.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Well, mechanics maybe don't want to see, but if one.

[Tyler]

If one pops the hood up, if one popped the hood and he's got a sig dangling I'm gonna trust actually that is true.

[Miles]

Diesel mechanics though, because diesel's not. Diesel is combust. Combustible. Combustible.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But not flammable.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So diesel. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah, There you go.

[Tyler]

But like a mechanic that smokes cigs, you know, he's good at his job because he's been doing it a long time and if he wasn't, he'd be dead.

[Ryan]

That is true. That is very true. I think someone who is in a scenario who seems to be completely underdressed knows what he's doing. No one's ever said, wow, that guy's really overdressed. I bet he knows what he's doing.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You know.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Back to the tow truck. Most tow truck. If you're a tow truck driver, you know.

[Tyler]

Yeah, easy.

[Ryan]

That said tow truck drivers in the middle of winter, they got a cut off on and shorts. Crocs that wonder smoking a Sig in crocs.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Getting a ice house out of the ditch, you know, like that's a guy who knows what he's doing.

[Tyler]

I would trust that man with my life.

[Ryan]

But if he came out in a parka.

[Tyler]

Yeah. If he's all bundled up with mittens on, we're probably not getting the car out of there.

[Ryan]

If anything, you're going to need to call another tow truck for his tow truck.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

You know,

[Miles]

I feel like, you know, you know, a guy knows what he's doing when like if he rolls up, it's a fucking confusing headline.

[Tyler]

I checked before I said, you know,

[Miles]

a guy knows what he's doing if he rolls up to your house with. Without a company vehicle, in his own personal vehicle. Also on top of that, if he doesn't have a website, he just purely

[Tyler]

is word of mouth.

[Miles]

You call a cell phone that he's not going to answer to leave a message that he won't call you back for a couple days.

[Tyler]

You know, anything's good quality. If they don't have a website, they have a Facebook page that they haven't posted on since 2015. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I would even just say if there's no online presence, he really knows. Correct. Also when you get the final bill and it's handwritten, that guy knows what he's doing. You got a good service there. The guy that will like, you know, winterize our cabin if we close it up, you know, and like we are you always. We always just get like a little thing in the mail and it's just a piece of paper with how much we owe that he wrote down.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And it's a.

[Ryan]

And we've never had issues.

[Miles]

It's a. Lee. It's just a leafy phone in the yard with silver Sharpie on it.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's like, from the notepad in our junk drawer at the lake.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

You know.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Used our paper for it.

[Miles]

He just ripped the side off of a cigarette carton.

[Jared]

Terrible handwriting.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

He knows what he's doing, basically a doctor.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Well, I. I'm thinking of, like, fishing guides, because when I go out of fishing guy, I'm like, holy. I mean, this guy knows what he's doing it. But it, like. It. It kind of, like, counteracts what you said right away. Miles, if. If he, like, over explains to the point where I don't understand anything, I know that we're gonna catch a limit that day.

[Tyler]

If they start saying that you never

[Miles]

even thought of talking about structures and water farmsteads on Devil's Lake back in the 80s, and I'm like, sounds like we got a bucket full.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you're right. If they're. If they're speaking on a technical level, that seems like another language. They know what they're doing.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

In the fishing industry.

[Ryan]

Well, just. Yeah. But even, like, on a computer, if. If you guys. You know, if Jared and Jake start talking.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Ryan]

Bits and gigabits and. And pixels. You know, I know I better step out.

[Miles]

Bits and bytes.

[Jared]

Renderings. Bit rates.

[Ryan]

Bit rates.

[Tyler]

Encryptions.

[Miles]

Yeah, encryptions.

[Ryan]

But if he's talking too much, using general terms, doesn't know what he's doing.

[Miles]

Correct.

[Jared]

It's gonna be another language.

[Ryan]

So what you're saying is if after they get done talking, you go, in English, please. That guy knows what he's doing.

[Miles]

No habla fishing guide.

[Tyler]

Tell it to me like I'm 12.

[Ryan]

Sorry, I don't speak Mandarin. Yeah.

[Miles]

If someone tells you, okay, let me dumb it down for you. You know?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And then they know you don't know what you're doing.

[Miles]

Correct. Yeah. They could say anything at that point.

[Ryan]

But then there is a point, too, where, like, wine guys, they talk like that, but they don't know what the. They're talking about. Like, guys who think they know about wine, they'll start throwing around tannins and legs, sniffers and oaky afterbirths. They don't know what they're talking about.

[Miles]

Yeah. There gets to be a point with when you. Then you. You then become a snob.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Which you don't want.

[Tyler]

There's a lot. Yeah. A line car.

[Miles]

Snob. Wine snob. It. Snob.

[Ryan]

I also think actually I'm going to present this and you guys tell me, does this person know what he's talking about or not? If. If you're talking about a subject, let's say golf clubs for. For a fact, right? So like, all right, we're talking golf clubs and they start spewing about different countries, golf clubs and models of them. Does this guy know what he's talking about or not?

[Miles]

And we're in the United States.

[Ryan]

No.

[Miles]

Hypothetically.

[Ryan]

No. We're in Africa. We're in Chad.

[Miles]

Hypothetically, we're in the U.S. i would say.

[Tyler]

So we're here.

[Miles]

I'd say. I'd say he's probably not. He's. I say he's probably not an expert because he's got his eggs in too many and he's got his eggs in too many baskets. Okay.

[Tyler]

For me.

[Miles]

Tell me about US clubs. I want to know every single detail about that I don't want to know about.

[Tyler]

I would.

[Miles]

Czechoslovak, Czechoslovakian clubs.

[Tyler]

I think it matters the subject, because clubs. I would say this guy probably doesn't know what he's doing. But if it was like cars and he started talking about like how they made. Make the Model T in Germany, I'd be like, okay, this sounds legit. Sounds like.

[Ryan]

That sounds like Jake is talking. And does Jake know what he's doing?

[Tyler]

No, usually not.

[Ryan]

The reason why I bring that specific example up, because I met a guy who talked like he really knew he was talking about and he said that his hybrid was a Japanese callaway hybrid. And he said, you know that it's Japanese because of the sound that it makes when you hit it.

[Tyler]

That seems racist. I think he was doing a racist joke.

[Ryan]

Oh really?

[Tyler]

Cuz when he hit it.

[Ryan]

Cuz it did sound. It did sound different than. Than the other club.

[Tyler]

Did it ping.

[Jared]

That's what I'm thinking too.

[Ryan]

You guys, did I get go.

[Tyler]

This is just a racist joke doing over your head.

[Ryan]

Good thing I didn't say his name. Well, kudos to me for not. Yeah, you don't joke well. I don't hear it. Yeah, I don't hear a race. Yeah, that's really funny. It probably was. Yeah. Wow.

[Miles]

Did they did that thing or did Zadong.

[Ryan]

Maybe that's why when I said that I used to have a ping driver, he kept calling it a pong driver.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah, it's all coming together.

[Ryan]

Wow. This guy's.

[Jared]

This guy's racist.

[Ryan]

I don't hang out with him on a regular basis.

[Jared]

Great guy.

[Tyler]

One of my best friends in the whole world told me this thing about his Japanese callaway driver.

[Miles]

What club was it, a seven wood?

[Ryan]

No, it was a hybrid of some sort.

[Miles]

Do I know this guy?

[Ryan]

No, I actually did. You do know this guy.

[Tyler]

I think I know who it could be.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I. Again, I don't. That's really bad that I didn't get that joke. It's really. It's bad.

[Miles]

Look at you. Did he kind of give you, like, a side eye after he said it? Were you were.

[Ryan]

You know, this guy is a goofball.

[Miles]

Okay, okay.

[Ryan]

You know. Exactly.

[Jared]

Certified goofball.

[Ryan]

See? But now that you know who it is, he could have actually been saying that as a fact. You know that, right? Yeah. So that's why I do think he was, like, actually being genuine. You know I'm talking about.

[Miles]

Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about.

[Ryan]

Yep. He's always going to Pelly.

[Miles]

Yeah, I know. I've been fishing with him before on

[Ryan]

Kelly, and now that you know I'm talking about. I don't think he was.

[Jared]

It does sound like the standard Asian

[Tyler]

joke I've heard before.

[Miles]

No, I know, but all. Yeah, but.

[Ryan]

But if you know him, you're like, he might actually be, like, spewing dumb, thinking that he's being an expert on something.

[Miles]

Yeah. Or someone told him it was a Japanese hybrid and he believed it.

[Ryan]

So now that maybe someone said the joke to him and he took it as real.

[Jared]

It's a bad game with telephone.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

Anyways. Yeah, that's really funny, actually. I can't believe that got pulled out of me. You never know what you're gonna say. Like, I would have never have thought about that interaction I had with him ever again in my life. You know what I mean? Like, sometimes that happens with Charlie on the Bellied up podcast. I feel like that podcast unlocks things that Charlie hasn't thought about since they happened. Like.

[Jared]

Like put his siblings on the mantle. Yeah, like that.

[Ryan]

Or he. In one of the recent episodes, he said he was working at a golf course and found a notebook in the lost and found at the pool and started reading it.

[Jared]

You thought it was a screenplay or something?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And then we said, what were you doing in the Lost and found? He's like, well, I was. I was covered in pop. He's like, no, no, no, I wasn't. He first said I smelled like pop. We're like, how does one smell like pop?

[Tyler]

You get covered in pop.

[Ryan]

No, I know, but even pop doesn't have that very distinct of a smell, you know, like. Yes. You stick your nose in a Mountain Dew bottle, you're gonna smell Mountain Dew. But if you just hold the ball right here, you don't smell it.

[Tyler]

So anyways, leave it to Barons.

[Jared]

If somebody has a pencil in their ear or a rag in their back pocket, they know what they're doing.

[Tyler]

Yeah? Yep.

[Ryan]

What color rag in the back pocket?

[Jared]

Usually red.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

What if it's blue?

[Ryan]

What if it's blue? Nope. No go.

[Jared]

Unless it's like a shop towel.

[Miles]

And what if you're getting quotes from both of them at the same time?

[Jared]

Depends what it is.

[Ryan]

Yeah. What if one. What if you're dealing with two different people and one guy's got a dirty rag and the other guy's got a pencil in his ear? Who are you trusting more regular hands on?

[Tyler]

Yeah, I was gonna say the one with the cigarette in his mouth.

[Jared]

Trick question.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

Cigarette. And then if they have tough hands. No, soft hands. They have soft hands. They don't know what they're doing.

[Miles]

How do you know if they have tough hands?

[Jared]

Handshakes.

[Miles]

By looking at them.

[Tyler]

Rub them a little. When you shake hands. Just feel them a little.

[Ryan]

Every. Every guy. Every guy I meet, I try and make sure I tell them, hey, I'd love to feel your hands. Yeah, that's how I always know if someone's got

[Tyler]

before I choose. Who's going to build my house? Let me feel your hands, please.

[Ryan]

I'd love to feel your hands.

[Jared]

Intros. Intro.

[Ryan]

Oh, actually, let's intro again. Let me see now let me do yours.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Ryan]

And then back to you. Yep. I'm gonna hire you.

[Tyler]

Hold on. Give me. Give me some skin. Give me one of those.

[Ryan]

All right, let's try adapt. Let's try dab. And then I'm gonna do the where at the other hand. Okay. The back of your hand.

[Miles]

Well, and the guy who doesn't know what a dap is, he's the winner.

[Ryan]

That is true. A guy knows what he's doing if he knows nothing about pop culture.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

Yeah, Probably a boomer.

[Miles]

Well, I feel like a guy knows what he's doing. Also, if. If, like, you meet each other expecting a handshake and he just gets right to business. No handshake.

[Tyler]

Straight to it.

[Miles]

Straight to it. He's already job finished. Job not finished.

[Jared]

You go like this.

[Miles]

The self doubt.

[Tyler]

Mastered it. Yeah, yeah, I have to. The electrical companies cutting down some trees in my yard, and the dude was going to come over and walk me through it. And show me my options. And before he even knocked on the door, he pulled into the yard and just started flagging stuff out. And then he's like, all right, here are your options. So he did wasted no time coming to make small talk at the front door. He just got to work.

[Ryan]

I like that. Howdy ho. I'm gonna be doing some stuff in your yard today. That's cool with you? Yeah. If you did that, you're like, this guy's okay.

[Tyler]

He's kind of just wants to take

[Jared]

you by the hour.

[Tyler]

He wants firewood. That's why he's cutting down my trees.

[Miles]

What kind of options is it giving you? Like, how do you want a manicured or what?

[Tyler]

No. So my options were a complete removal of. It's one really, really nice pine tree. Probably like 50 years old, to be honest. But it's either complete removal of the tree, topping the tree, or splitting the cost with them to bury the electrical

[Ryan]

wire and chopping it all the way

[Tyler]

down, all the way to top it. It would look so stupid because it's such an old pine tree that the bottom 15ft of it are basically branchless. So to top it would just. It would just be a fucking half a tree stuff.

[Ryan]

Four feet of branches.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it would literally be. It would be nine feet tall with two branches sticking off of it. Charlie Brown if they topped it. So just like, get rid of it. I'm not paying you eight grand to bury the wire for one tree.

[Ryan]

Sixteen grand for a burial. Burial of wires? Yeah.

[Tyler]

It would depend. Mine has a transformer on it, so there's an ext cost because there's a transformer.

[Ryan]

You should have saw that before you bought the house. Tyler, I.

[Tyler]

What I did see, I asked him about.

[Ryan]

You know, everyone gives Boomer dad about overdoing it on buying a house, but they would have saw that transformer and said, hey, someday you need to bury that. It's going to cost you double.

[Tyler]

I wouldn't.

[Ryan]

I wouldn't buy the house.

[Miles]

No deal.

[Tyler]

No deal. The tree was clearly trimmed before, but since the wildfire, the Californians. Us. The wildfires in California, they said Minnesota responded by making their distance from wires more strict. So now it's 20ft instead of 10.

[Ryan]

Oof. That's tough.

[Tyler]

Absolute kick in the nuts.

[Ryan]

Couldn't you just said, like, hey, I promise to keep trimming it back is.

[Tyler]

Even if it's trimmed all the way down, it's still too close. He measured it out.

[Ryan]

What if you said, hey, what if I take a chain and my truck and I kind of just pull on it and get it to lean away from it.

[Tyler]

I'll leave it cabled like that for the next five years and then it'll just grow that way.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You undo the chain flings back, it just knocks over.

[Tyler]

And I just got a live electric wire flipping around my front yard.

[Ryan]

Transformer explodes. The whole fucking county loses power.

[Miles]

Wildfire starts.

[Tyler]

Yep. Like that.

[Ryan]

That 20ft the end. Yeah. Just like the entire area of Minnesota just loses all of its wildlife.

[Tyler]

Whoops. Because I wanted to save my one pine tree.

[Miles]

You want to save eight grand?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

God, dude. But then you bury that sucker, you can plant as many trees as you want.

[Tyler]

I know, but I just.

[Miles]

But now you gotta call before you

[Tyler]

dig eight grand to do. It's pulled up hole like it's.

[Jared]

And the best time to plant a tree is now in 20 years ago.

[Tyler]

That's true. Yep.

[Ryan]

So 50 years ago, we did have

[Tyler]

plans to plant more pine trees in that row. But now we gotta do lilac bushes. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Nice.

[Tyler]

There's a little landscaping update for you folks.

[Jared]

Plus, you gotta save money for that vasectomy.

[Tyler]

That's right. I don't need to save for anyone. It's basically free.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I don't understand. I get how you go from being expensive to that just by. How does that work?

[Tyler]

Be stubborn.

[Ryan]

So just insurance is negotiable.

[Tyler]

You just annoy them to the till. They tell you what you need to tell them to get your the cost down.

[Ryan]

Well, if you could actually Qatar, this is how you get your vasectomy paid for. You on Patreon. We talked about your truck nuts potential idea to get it paid for. Here's what you do need to do. You need to make an e book, okay. On how to get a free vasectomy and then sell that for like five bucks to get the digital download. Guys are going to save shitloads of money on their vasectomies. You've already done all the work. Capitalize off that knowledge. Because I'm like, hey, I'd give you five bucks to tell me how to get a free physioctomy.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And once it becomes a digital bestseller, then we launch the paperback. And when that becomes a New York Times bestseller, we do the limited edition hardcover copies.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I think 100.

[Tyler]

And then we do leather bound eventually on the 10 year anniversary of it being a best.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And then like 30 years from now, you could do like a special cover art.

[Tyler]

You know, My Testes and Me is the name of the book.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

Then you can get your own sports. Not sports card, but you could get your own, like, Alan Ginter card.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

They're just giving those out to anybody.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I heard.

[Ryan]

You definitely got a good shot at that.

[Jared]

Go to every Barnes and Noble. Do a book signing.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

I'll sign your ebook.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

Well, yeah, I mean, you could even have.

[Ryan]

Let me sign your iPad.

[Tyler]

Come on over here. I'll use dry erase.

[Ryan]

Don't worry.

[Miles]

You can do. You can do game. Use memorabilia.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Your card.

[Ryan]

Yep, yep.

[Tyler]

Like, yeah, like, I'm just selling my order.

[Miles]

This piece of memorabilia is authenticated as, you know, Tyler's second kid was conceived. Yeah. And.

[Ryan]

And what you need to do before you get the vasectomy, before you write this book, you need to just be firing off loads, freeze them. Then when you become famous as the vasectomy guy, you can then sell your sperm at auction because you're so famous. Yeah. And it's like, wow, we can't get this anymore. It's limited supply. The scarcity is there.

[Miles]

You become the next Kentucky Derby winner.

[Tyler]

That's right.

[Miles]

In terms of, like, you know, it's a million bucks for a vial of sperm.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

So.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Anyways. Well, Jared, should we take a break?

[Jared]

Sure.

[Ryan]

All right, guys. Today I got my Brunt boots on. I got my new Brunt pants on and my new Brunt sweatshirt. I'm fully brunted up.

[Miles]

I got my new Brunt Q Zip on, my new qz. It's more of a workwear casual.

[Ryan]

It's like. It's like when you're maybe doing some work in the morning, but you got a sales meeting in the afternoon.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

It's like just in case someone wants to get dusted in 18 clean. I'm ready to go.

[Tyler]

It's kind of an all encompassing.

[Ryan]

But just in case you have to remove all the dust from your garage,

[Miles]

then I could do that as well.

[Ryan]

You know, you're just a big Hannah Montana. Best of both worlds. But I finally was able to get my hands on these Costello Tech pants. And I was telling Tyler, I don't know if I'm gonna take him off.

[Tyler]

He's gonna live in them.

[Miles]

I'd like to go. I'd like to think of them as like the. You know how there's athleisure. I think this is the new work leader. Work leisure.

[Ryan]

It's work leisure because it's clearly going to be very durable. You know, if it gets wet, no biggie. They're stretchy. You know, I've Reached a point in my life where if something stretches, I'm much more interested in buying it.

[Tyler]

Totally.

[Ryan]

And, you know, given our lives like it is, for me, it's the best feeling in the world when I put on a new pair of pants and I go to button it and there's a little stretch in them.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And you're like, fuck, yeah.

[Miles]

Do I even need to wear a belt today?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And that's what these pants are. And they look good, and I think they're gonna last me forever. So, you know, like tar. You could. These are great apocalypse pants.

[Tyler]

God damn right they would be.

[Ryan]

They feel like they're gonna be cool in a hotter, hotter day.

[Tyler]

They also look water wicking.

[Ryan]

They're. They are, I think, some sort of moisture wicking technology.

[Miles]

Well, I mean, you can get in a snowball fight with your kid and that's great jokes on you. You can hit me in the. You can hit me in the lower half, and they're gonna do anything, you know.

[Tyler]

Good luck, buddy.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I got my tech pants on and my nut cup on, so good luck getting me with the snowball.

[Tyler]

And I have. I have my hockey mask on.

[Ryan]

That is why. That is why I usually wear a cup in the winter just in case I get a. A stray snowball. To the twig

[Miles]

ball. Yeah.

[Ryan]

To my balls. I always wear a cup in the winter.

[Miles]

Yeah, Yeah. I typically.

[Ryan]

But I also wear it in the summer because I never.

[Miles]

Well, in summertime, it's also great.

[Ryan]

But I also wear in the summer, too, because I never know.

[Miles]

You never know because I never know.

[Ryan]

I'm gonna get a rogue Frisbee.

[Tyler]

Dude. Do you just stay. Do you stay cupped up at all? Brunt needs to come out with a

[Miles]

rogue Frisbee or boomerang or something that ain't coming back.

[Jared]

Run cup.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

You're just like. You never know when you run in with Kangaroo Jack.

[Miles]

Yeah. You know those, those, like, those like, Styrofoam airplanes that you can throw through the air. You never know when you're gon the cockpit of an foam airplane. Twiggies.

[Tyler]

Which is why Brunt needs to take their patented steel toe technology and built the steel camel toe.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. When are we going to start? Like steel head.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You know, when are we going to go from steel. Steel toe to steel head?

[Jared]

Might be like a thimble.

[Miles]

Protecting toes is important, but protecting your head.

[Ryan]

You want a steel cup.

[Tyler]

It's like one of those cups that come with the bottle of Motrin.

[Miles]

They call it The Steel Head. And they sell them in, you know, start in the Pacific Northwest, where steelhead salmon are common and branch out from there.

[Ryan]

So, yeah, that's why I always wear a cup in the winter. In the summer, rogue snowballs and rogue Frisbees are nothing to mess around with.

[Miles]

Speaking of that, this last weekend I was throwing these, like, hard foam baseballs to my kid, and he. I mean, I'm talking dead in the nuts. Hit one back at me. It dropped me for 10 minutes.

[Tyler]

Oh, no.

[Ryan]

Jesus.

[Miles]

10 minutes I was on the floor.

[Ryan]

And I bet you would have liked to be having a nut cup on at that point.

[Miles]

I would love to have the Steelheads on.

[Ryan]

So, guys, they don't offer a nut cup yet, but they offer all sorts of other stuff for when you're working, when you're hanging out, doing whatever. Go to bruntworkware.com use code ybr for 10 bucks off your order. All right, Jared, what's our next segment?

[Jared]

Favorite song lyrics and what they mean to you.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, okay, so here's what we're gonna do. I want you guys to, like, really just, ah, this is now a safe space for you guys, and we're gonna be all vulnerable with each other. And, you know. You know, I don't know if you guys did this, but, you know, like, in eighth grade, like, for like, two weeks in a semester, our teachers acted like poetry was going to be this big staple in our life. And we spent, like, two weeks on poetry. Do you know what I mean?

[Tyler]

Yep. We learned all the different rhyme schemes,

[Ryan]

then would read famous poems, and you have to sit and talk what they mean about.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you make a haiku.

[Ryan]

And I. And. And we were thinking about that the other day and how it's like, you know what? We should have never have stopped doing that because it was, you know, poems and songs are beautiful, and they can make you laugh, they can make you cry, they can make you miss a loved one. They can maybe feel like you can deadlift 500 pounds, run through a sheet of drywall. And so I think we should go around the room and just share a few song lyrics that we all feel that way towards, but also explain, you know, what you think it means to you. So I'll go first. Okay, so I'll just start with the lyric. So lyric is stop, drop kaboom, baby rub on your nipples. And that one. Just that one. Really? That one is. Do you guys know that lyric?

[Miles]

Well, yes.

[Ryan]

You've heard it before, right? It's by. It's by Mr. Chris.

[Miles]

Mr. Chris. Yes. That one to me. And I've thought about that one a couple times too. It's more so of like, hey, just live with a free spirit. Okay, well, don't be afraid to take. Okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It's what they mean to me.

[Miles]

That's right.

[Ryan]

Then we can go to your turn.

[Miles]

Yeah, I got a different one, so. Yeah, you go ahead.

[Ryan]

I have the. I have the mic.

[Jared]

I have the talking.

[Ryan]

The talking mic.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. It's just a deep. It's a deep learner.

[Ryan]

You know, I think what he's doing a great job of is bringing awareness to women. Doing the self breast check.

[Tyler]

Yep. Yep.

[Ryan]

Because that can help prevent a lot of breast cancers. And, you know, it's always like, wear the pink ribbon for breast cancer awareness. But Mr. Luda is going in a different direction.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And kind of meeting people where they're already at with the message and going like, hey, hey, I know you thought that we were just chilling at the Holiday Inn, but this is a great opportunity and moment for you to stop what you're doing. Drop everything you do. Just give it a. Give your boobs a nice kaboom, and just rub on those nipples and see if you got any lumps in there. And if you do, hey, let's leave the Holiday Inn. Let's maybe head to the doctor.

[Miles]

Holiday Inn.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And so I think that it's quite beautiful combination of, you know, just some guys hanging out looking for some bomb ass at the Holiday Inn, but also reminding people that it's smart to do your daily breast exam to ensure that nothing's wonky going on.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

This song came out October.

[Tyler]

Yeah, totally. Yep.

[Ryan]

Album cover was pain, and so this song by Chingy, you know, I. I

[Jared]

haven't heard about chicken forever.

[Ryan]

This song. Yeah. By Chingy is. I think we're gonna look back on it and say, wow, they did a ton for breast cancer awareness. Maybe more than all the NFL did.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And I think that that's probably what I take most away from it. I don't know about you guys.

[Tyler]

No, I like that. I think you're. You're spot on with it.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And before. Move on, I think just a little. It's like kind of. That's my 1A, 1B. Two lines later, he also dives a little bit deeper in there. And actually it's. He goes from like, oh, we're meeting you. You know, we're talking, like real people. Then he gets really technical with it and just bring more and more awareness to this issue. And he says, far from little, make your mammary glands jiggle. And I just don't think that until that lyric, I just don't even think there was a lot of men in the world that even knew what mammy. Ma'.

[Tyler]

Am.

[Ryan]

Mammary glands were. Or that that's what was jiggling when. When any jiggling was going on. So, yeah, I just. That's. He's just. God, he's just so. He's such.

[Tyler]

He's a wordsmith.

[Ryan]

He's brilliant. He's brilliant. And that's why he's up there as one of my favorites, you know?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

One of the goats.

[Tyler]

One of my favorite lyrics of all time is Let me hit it Raw. Like the outcome a None of us would be here without cuff. And to me, that's. It's a. Let me hit it raw is go at life raw. No filters, just raw dog life. Just raw dog life. And none of us would be here without comm.

[Miles]

Is.

[Tyler]

While you're going through life raw, just take some time to thank your dad because you wouldn't be here without him. It's a perspective thing. Yeah. So no matter what.

[Ryan]

And I think it's also a great perspective thing in the. Is like how lucky we are to even be alive.

[Tyler]

Totally.

[Ryan]

Now the chances of your dad's come coming in the way that it needs to in order for you to. To bring life into this world, I think it's.

[Tyler]

The odds are astronomical. So just live life raw it.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I love that.

[Tyler]

Yeah, thanks.

[Ryan]

Who was that again?

[Tyler]

That was Mr. West. You had Mr. Christ.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Some people know him as Yeezy or Yeezus or Yay or Yay.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I like. I call him Khan.

[Tyler]

The one thing he actually hasn't called himself out of all those ridiculous names.

[Jared]

Maza's hip it with it.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Right. Yeah. Jared, you go ahead. I. I'm very. Yeah, go ahead.

[Jared]

Ipod your girlfriend and she say, I got great sex. Safe sex is great sex. Better wear a latex because you don't want that latex. That. I think I'm late text. Haha. So wrap it up again.

[Ryan]

I mean, I just love. Not only is the rhyme scheme magnificent, I also think that it's just like, why. Why is the US government not using these as like, public service announcements? Do you know what I mean?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Like in October when they do their breast cancer awareness campaign. Ludicrous. Should be rapping in the background all pink. You know, when we're talking about practicing safe sex, we need that Plan.

[Tyler]

This should be part of the curriculum for high school health classes.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Jared]

Just play that song.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You need to know what's going on.

[Jared]

Right?

[Ryan]

Exactly. And it's. And it. What's. But what's beautiful about art is you can have two com. Completely opposite opinions on the subject.

[Tyler]

Right. Right.

[Ryan]

And you can feel both so deeply.

[Tyler]

Totally. I just know mine just said to

[Ryan]

it raw to do it wrong, you know? You know, and then yours is like you gotta almost wear. You know, as the. As Asher Roth would say, put two on. You know. And you have such. You have such opposite things. But we can appreciate both. And that's what I love about this and art in general.

[Miles]

In college.

[Ryan]

I love college.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I love drinking.

[Miles]

Yeah. I love my wife. You know, Man. I love college. Go ahead.

[Tyler]

Sorry, Ryan.

[Miles]

No, I was just. Yeah. I think these song lyrics, they, you know, you shed a little bit light on breast cancer awareness. This is more so going to shed on mental health awareness.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

Month of June coming up here soon. So one of my favorite song lyrics here.

[Ryan]

Picture this.

[Miles]

We were both butt naked banging on the bathroom floor. So people who are clearly just not right up here.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Miles]

And maybe need to reach out and get some help. They shouldn't be banging on the bathroom floor.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

Whatever they're banging with. And then it goes on to say a little bit later. Let's see here.

[Jared]

That's hilarious.

[Ryan]

No, wasn't me.

[Miles]

Where did it go?

[Ryan]

So wait, I. You know.

[Miles]

And okay.

[Ryan]

And then.

[Miles]

Okay, and then it goes. But she caught me on the counter. But it wasn't me. Saw me banging on the sofa. See, now here we're banging on more stuff. It wasn't me. I even had her in the shower. Which I mean that, you know. Take that however you want.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Clearly Mr. Shaggy was not right up in the head and needed to reach out to somebody and get some help out to the health awareness month. Because. Yeah. The fact that he was banging on the bathroom floor, the sofa, and then had this, what I'm assuming is a nice gal in the shower when she had just showered that morning.

[Ryan]

So is. And I love that interpretation. I'm not quite fully getting it. So you're saying that it's mental health awareness because he's losing his mind. Because it definitely wasn't banging her on the floor, the kitchen counter, the sofa or the shower.

[Miles]

I interpret it as he was banging on the bathroom floor in frustration about something.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

But if there's another inter. Because art is interpretation.

[Ryan]

He's. I just. I'm so depressed oh, he's banging on the bathroom floor with his fists.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Ryan]

And then he's banging on the kitchen counter because he's just so over it.

[Miles]

Correct.

[Tyler]

And my, my interpretation of it was that he was having sexual intercourse with

[Ryan]

a woman that he got caught. Ye, yeah, that was actually my interpretation.

[Tyler]

And then, but, but then there's a, there's a chance here of multiple personality disorders when he says it wasn't me.

[Ryan]

Sure.

[Tyler]

Because it is heavily implied that it was in fact him.

[Miles]

Yeah. Cuz there was. I. From what I understand there's only two people there, so it had to have been.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it couldn't have been anyone else. But he's fully. He. He thinks it wasn't him.

[Miles]

Correct.

[Tyler]

So there may be some schizophrenia going on.

[Miles]

Like me, myself and Irene situation.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean it also might be a cry for help cuz maybe he was

[Miles]

ruthful feed could have been it. Yeah. Yeah. I also interpreted.

[Ryan]

Taken advantage of.

[Miles]

Yeah. I also think that they had already showered that morning, didn't need to shower in the evening, so there was something going on there where they needed to somehow decompress and hit themselves with some hot water.

[Ryan]

Oh yeah, just like the classic. Arm on the shower wall, hand on the shower wall with the water just going all.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Ryan]

Deep depression, hand somewhere else.

[Jared]

So

[Miles]

yeah, she even caught me on camera too. So again, it wasn't me. Yeah, but it was Mr. Shaggy. Because you're on camera.

[Jared]

It was you, Shaggy.

[Tyler]

It's okay to ask for help, Shaggy. Yeah, I've got one from a pretty unknown song that I think you guys might enjoy.

[Ryan]

Okay, let's. Yeah. And also so far, guys, author on

[Tyler]

the song is called Nobody Speak by DJ Shadow. Okay, Picture this. I'm a bag of dicks. Put me to your lips.

[Miles]

Yeah, I'm picturing that.

[Tyler]

I am sick. I will punch a baby bear in his shit. And to me, what I get from that is that that hallucinogenics are a very powerful drug and that you should probably avoid them if at all possible.

[Jared]

It's a bit of a bear. Does a bear shit in the woods thing too?

[Tyler]

Yeah. And if he does, I will punch that baby bear in his shit.

[Ryan]

Yeah, read it again.

[Tyler]

Okay, picture this. I'm a bag of dicks. Put me to your lips. I am sick. I will punch a baby bear in his shit. Let me continue. Give me lip. I'm gonna send you to the yard. Get a stick.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So I think my interpretation is that it's laundry day.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

You know, and he's got his Bag of dicks. And I think he's referring to Dickies Workwear.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[Ryan]

And so he's got his bag of Dickies that he's washing at the Laundromat, you know, and it's like, put it to lips. We all know that everyone eats Tide Pods, right?

[Tyler]

Right.

[Miles]

That's right.

[Ryan]

And, you know, they're good. Punching a baby bear in his lips. He's a huge tied guy, and he don't. With that Snuggles detergent.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Get that out of here.

[Ryan]

Punch that little baby bear in its face. In his.

[Jared]

Or whatever.

[Tyler]

Yeah, in his.

[Ryan]

So I think it's really. He's at the Laundromat doing his. His work. Laundry, eating Tide Pods, and just really brand loyal.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

It's kind of how I took away.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I like that. That's.

[Miles]

It's a shadow.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

I did have an honorable mention.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

And this one goes, tie me up. Like, I'm surprised. Let's role play. I'll wear a disguise. I want you to park that Big Mac truck right in this little garage.

[Ryan]

Thank you for sharing.

[Miles]

Yeah. And I think what's happening is there's somebody who's having trouble, probably having a little bit of trouble at work with maybe their superior, their boss, whoever. And so they're role playing the employee boss and then the employees parking his Big Mac truck in the boss's garage just to kind of get at him. So when he gets home.

[Jared]

And you. And you can relate to that.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. Parking. Yep. Yep.

[Ryan]

So, wait, what?

[Miles]

Hop on top. I want to ride. I do a kegel, which I think is a Gen Z, a millennial term for keg stand. I do a kegel. I'm kind of wild. Look at my mouth. Look at my thighs. This water is wet. Come take a dive.

[Tyler]

That's deep, dude. Like, the water itself, that's deep.

[Miles]

Yeah. And it's like, I think the way.

[Ryan]

I mean, I really hope it's deep.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Because she's taking dives, and I don't need anyone breaking their necks out here at the swimming pool.

[Miles]

Yeah. And if you're doing keg stands or on water, just, I think, wear a life jacket.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Miles]

Because if it is deep and you die, you do dive in head first. Yeah. There could be repercussions.

[Ryan]

There really could be.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Everybody.

[Ryan]

I think it's a cautionary tale.

[Tyler]

Yes.

[Ryan]

You know, just kind of like it's

[Miles]

more of a psa. Okay. Hey, before this happens, before you do a kegel and dive in head first,

[Ryan]

because what is that?

[Miles]

Actually, water's wet.

[Tyler]

Kegels.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Oh, is it?

[Tyler]

No, it's a vaginal wall exercise.

[Miles]

I was gonna say you can do like. Men have Kegels as well. It's like if you were trying to hold a. If you're trying to hold a piss in. You know how you.

[Ryan]

You like, you do it a rap.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Ryan's getting a pump in quick

[Miles]

one by ten.

[Ryan]

I. I could see him actively working,

[Miles]

so he wasn't lying once at a time. That would be like a male Kel, so.

[Ryan]

Okay. But it also could be a keg stand.

[Miles]

Could be a millennial kickstand cookies at a pool party in Vegas or something bigger mustache.

[Ryan]

Oh, well, guys, I think that that was good. Some really good sharing.

[Jared]

I got one quick one.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Jared]

All right. Water, fire, and dirt magnets. How do they work? And I don't want to talk to a scientist. Y' all lying and getting me pissed. Solar eclipse and vicious weather. 15,000 Juggalos together.

[Ryan]

Yes, sometimes, especially in an information age, everyone's an expert.

[Jared]

Everyone.

[Ryan]

Everyone's an expert. And sometimes I just want to hear what the cab driver has to say.

[Tyler]

And we did. We just. The segment we just did, we didn't say a single thing about scientists and knowing how we know that they know what they're doing.

[Ryan]

Which segment?

[Tyler]

The segment was how, you know, someone knows what they're doing.

[Ryan]

Oh, okay. I thought you were maybe talking about. I thought maybe you're questioning my scientific. His status in the first segment.

[Tyler]

No, no, no, no. I'm avoiding that first segment as much as possible.

[Jared]

What the did you just say?

[Tyler]

Here we go. Picture this.

[Ryan]

Picture this. Me and Ryan, we were both butt naked.

[Tyler]

What were you doing?

[Ryan]

And we're just banging it out on the bathroom floor, just going back and forth.

[Jared]

And then Ryan parked his back truck

[Ryan]

in your garage out of revenge.

[Tyler]

None of us would be here without come.

[Ryan]

I think that that was a Minaj lyric. Was that a Minaj? I think it was Megan Z.

[Miles]

Some sort of stuff.

[Ryan]

It was Meg thee.

[Miles]

Ms. Stallion.

[Ryan]

Got it.

[Jared]

Very profound.

[Ryan]

Because, you know, the. The. You know, the Minaj, she has a great lyric, too, that just reminded me of this. When you're the Taj Minaj, she talks about telling a male companion that she'd like to put her on his sideburns. And it just reminded me about parking.

[Tyler]

And

[Ryan]

I move my car, so I. I'll be right back. But also, you'll need to be doing some Kegels to be able to put those on that sideburn. And so I think we're talking about a woman who really has done her workouts.

[Miles]

Yeah. Well, I think doing that act on the sideburns is good for exfoliation, too.

[Ryan]

Could be a great exfoliation.

[Jared]

Both.

[Tyler]

Both are getting exfoliated because sideburns imply that there's at least some stubble there.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So both things are getting exfoliated at

[Miles]

the moment because I feel like males tend to neglect. Collect the side of their face, and they're focused more on, like, the. You know. Yeah, the front.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

Chin, mustache area, nose. But the sideburns get. Definitely get neglected.

[Tyler]

I did have one more lyric, if

[Ryan]

you guys want to hear it, that keeps going.

[Tyler]

It's.

[Miles]

Oh, you know, it means a lot to people, and I know that's true.

[Tyler]

I know this one off the top of the dome. I don't even need to look the lyric up. It's. Stroke me, Stroke me. Stroke. Stroke me.

[Miles]

Me.

[Tyler]

Stroke me,

[Ryan]

Stroke me. Yeah, so stroke me.

[Tyler]

I think really what that comes down is just support me. It's a cry for help. Support me, Support me. Support me. Over and over.

[Ryan]

Stroke me is striking me right now.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Really?

[Tyler]

Are you stroke. You're stroking?

[Miles]

Yeah, I think.

[Ryan]

Am I having a stroke?

[Tyler]

Yeah, potentially.

[Miles]

I think that lyric is.

[Tyler]

Do you smell burnt toast?

[Miles]

I think that lyric is widely used in the massage therapy industry.

[Tyler]

Yeah. You know, I think I actually read somewhere that Robert Kraft was involved with the writing of this song.

[Miles]

Well, I think I was also thinking. I think he was involved in getting it copyrighted. Trademarked for the massage therapy industry so that. No. No other industry could use it because

[Tyler]

the guy just needs some support.

[Ryan]

And how'd you come across that knowledge? How'd you find that out? Was that that or is it just common knowledge?

[Miles]

Well, I think it's kind. You know, whatever. There's a bunch of, you know, Facebook, and it was all over the place. Yeah, that's where I saw. You know, you could have seen it elsewhere. Rooters, I'm sure, had it.

[Tyler]

Reuters, tmz.

[Miles]

Okay. I meant the rooters, the bar down town.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you're talking about the. On the wall, in the stall.

[Ryan]

What are we doing?

[Tyler]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Ryan]

Stroke me.

[Miles]

Stroke me. Stroke, Stroke, Stroke, Stroke, Stroke me.

[Ryan]

I also like Cynthia. Jesus died for our Cynthia, which is very relevant on Easter Monday here when we're recording this. Yeah, good.

[Jared]

Monday.

[Ryan]

So.

[Tyler]

Got it.

[Miles]

Jared, you got any more? Jared?

[Ryan]

He's got another lyrics. I got Amit.

[Jared]

Am I the asshole?

[Ryan]

Oh, am I the.

[Jared]

All right, so ask the patrons if they're about

[Ryan]

Amethyst hole. Amethyst hole.

[Miles]

Amethyst shoal. Question mark, Question mark.

[Jared]

So I asked the patrons if they're nervous about being the. Of a situation, and then they wrote back to us. I'll read a few here. And we have to say if they're an or not. Not aged cheddar. Am I the. If I. If people at the golf course keep randomly buying me beers, and I rarely return the favor because I'm trying to save money.

[Ryan]

Oh, it's actually. This is actually very tough.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Are you saying that you aren't drinking that day?

[Miles]

I. I think what he's saying is he's just. He's. He's not mooching off other people. Other people are buying him beers. He's just not buying them back.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Miles]

I don't think you're an. I think.

[Ryan]

No. Well, I know that I'm saying, like, because it's clearly in a foursome. Right?

[Miles]

Yeah. That chicken that gets wild.

[Ryan]

I'm sure.

[Miles]

But yeah.

[Ryan]

Well, let's say you're in a foursome, and it's like, if you go around, like, is everyone drinking today? Like, yeah, okay, I'll buy this round. You know, you get four rounds. It should work out to where you're saving the same amount of money.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's very true.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I think it really, really depends on if this guy's being like, hey, will you get me a beer? When the bev carts here, or if the buddies are just bringing them to him unprompted.

[Miles]

It's a good point, because, like, if

[Tyler]

you would buy me a beer without me even asking, and then it's like, then I don't think it's the end of the world if I don't get you back by the end of the round.

[Ryan]

Yeah, but you do kind of need to say, like, oh, I got the next one.

[Tyler]

Right. But it's like, I'm not an asshole. Did I break the code? Yes, but I don't think I'm an asshole. In that case, if Ryan didn't ask, ask.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

But if you were like, hey, Bev, cart's coming. Do you want something? And I'm like, yeah, get me a beer. And then I never get you back on purpose. That's. I think we're towing the line.

[Ryan]

This one's really tough, actually. So you vote that he's not an.

[Miles]

Well, no, not. Not necessarily. This is a tough one because his intentions are he just wants to save money. It's.

[Ryan]

I think you're cool. Let's say it's like, all right, we're getting around. And then they give you one unprompted. The next time you kind of, if you don't want to do it, you got to say like, no, I'm good. I don't need one. Yeah, yeah, but you could accept one free beer.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And it'd be fine. But if you accept two or more and you're not even hinting that you're going to return the favor, I think that's kind of sucks.

[Tyler]

Especially if it's from the same guy every time and you're never getting him back.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So it's, it's a middle ground.

[Jared]

Seymour. Co workers brought in Nerf guns to work and shoot them at each other all the time, but also randomly at us guys that don't partake in that. So me and a buddy started taking the darts and throwing them in the trash whenever we could without them noticing. We started this about a year ago and just this last week one of them brought up how they have like ten of their hundred darts left and start blaming the other guys for keeping their darts. But all of them are down to like 10 of the darts they started with. This is an office setting. This is an office setting. By the way, 30ish people in the office. 5 have the Nerf guns. 30 plus year old men, by the way.

[Ryan]

I think, I think it's an all in or all out situation for this office. We mean like I think you can't have an office with 30 people and only have five guys doing the Nerf guns. Do you know what I mean?

[Tyler]

Yeah, that is a little weird.

[Ryan]

I, I think I am on board with this complaint.

[Miles]

I agree.

[Tyler]

No, I don't think they're at all.

[Ryan]

No. Yeah, I think if anything the other guys are kind of being the. Because like it's like, haha, we brought Nerf guns. But after a couple weeks where no one else brings a Nerf gun other than U5, you kind of need to read the room and go like, oh, I don't think they want us to play Nerf guns. Now on the complete flip side of the spectrum, it's like, like why are you so uptight? Just get a Nerf gun. You know what I mean? But I just play. I just get a Nerf gun. You can get it. You can get a cheap Nerf gun. I know that they're not cheap, but there are cheap versions.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but.

[Ryan]

And also just then start a gun stealing war with them and go steal their nice gun and then leave yours and then they have to get so, yeah, I don't know.

[Miles]

Start making alliance. I think start making alliances too.

[Tyler]

But Even if it's 25 people doing the Nerf war and then five not, it's still a good prank either way. Like, yeah, these guys are getting shot. They throw away their Nerf darts. It cost $3 to buy 50 Nerf bullets. It's not like you're throwing away the gun itself. Yeah, I don't think they're at all.

[Miles]

I don't. I think it's a around find out type of deal. Like, hey, if I'm not in on the Nerf war, but you're gonna shoot about me anyways, I'm like me, I'd probably. I'd. I would burn their darts in front of their faces with a lighter smell so bad. Well, don't shoot a man. If I don't want to play, Grant, I'm. I'm probably gonna play. If I'm in that situation, I think

[Ryan]

I just end up putting a guy in a headlock at some point more than likely. You know what I mean? Like, if he's shooting me and I'm unarmed, he's getting a headlock.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

How many times would you put up up Tyler, with Ryan walking out, walking into your office and firing Nerf bullets at you? You lost your mind.

[Tyler]

Probably like three. It would be a three strike situation.

[Ryan]

So I think, I think it's like fine. Yeah.

[Tyler]

To throw the darts away. I don't think they're after all the darts.

[Ryan]

I don't think. Yeah, it's. It's a non issue here. It's fine.

[Tyler]

It's fine.

[Ryan]

It's fine. That would piss me off though, big time.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan]

It's like. Haha. A couple times by like the 30th time, you're just. You're getting your head in a lock.

[Miles]

Y. Yeah. Me being me. I more than likely, if I was getting so fed up with it, I'd. I would buy the biggest Nerf gun I could possibly find and I would just unload on these.

[Tyler]

And then what you do is you super glue thumbtacks to the tips of them.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

But then also like minus thumbtack thing, then they win though. If you show up with a Nerf gun, they win. They're like, he's in you.

[Tyler]

And then they would be running very quickly after that.

[Ryan]

But they'd be like, not like, you

[Tyler]

know, knife the thumbtacks on them.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

If you, yeah. If you're. If you feel that your life is threatened, you can pull.

[Jared]

You do have Your concealed carry.

[Miles]

That's right.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And if I feel like my life is threatened then.

[Ryan]

And you know that is true.

[Miles]

Act accordingly.

[Jared]

Find out.

[Miles]

Yeah. And I'm not.

[Ryan]

And we're not saying lethal round. Just maybe take a kneecap. Yeah.

[Miles]

You know, it's D pop.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Do a desk pop.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Towards their knees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you could say. Say hello to my little. So.

[Miles]

Yeah, that. Yeah, that's an option.

[Jared]

That is an option.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, read the rules first, though.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Like, I'm pretty sure these guys at stop point Nerf in the office, if someone got punched in the face, more

[Miles]

than likely they would. More than likely.

[Tyler]

And then you wouldn't have to worry about getting shot anymore because you would be let go.

[Ryan]

Yeah, but I mean, you'd be like, he shot a nurse gun at me. I thought it was a real gun. I acted quickly.

[Miles]

I didn't.

[Ryan]

And if that doesn't work, just say you were having a stroke.

[Miles]

My mind was so frazzled by this, I didn't realize that it was an orange and blue gun and.

[Jared]

Sorry. I'm trying to do my job.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, sorry. Work to working out.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, you take them down, you physically get into it with them, then you can just say that you were doing an active D. You thought it was an active shooter.

[Miles]

Citizens.

[Ryan]

And you technically are not wrong.

[Miles]

Right.

[Ryan]

If he was actively shooting Nerf gun bullets at you.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

So just a couple more here. Holding two dicks when going through a drive thru.

[Ryan]

Sorry, one more thing.

[Miles]

Thing.

[Ryan]

What would you guys do if Jake and Noah had a Nerf war going on with each other? Think of how fast we put a kibosh to that.

[Tyler]

It be 30 minutes tops.

[Ryan]

Yeah. So I think I'm on their side.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. I grabbed.

[Ryan]

You put it in terms of like, if it was your scenario. Like imagine if Jake was just walking around with Noah and they were giggling and doing Nerf guns and then they were shooting you once in a while. That would get stuck. Kabos. So fast. We would put an end to that. So fast.

[Miles]

I'd grab the guns, I'd walk up the stairs, I'd pop the hatch onto the roof and I would throw both of them off into the parking lot under their car.

[Ryan]

Jake's Jeep.

[Miles]

Out of Jake's Jeep. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Continue on. Sorry.

[Jared]

When going through a drive through and I'm driving, I make other people order their own food.

[Tyler]

I'm so with this.

[Ryan]

Not an.

[Miles]

No, not an.

[Tyler]

Nothing frustrates me more than when people don't have their together When I'm trying to order at the window.

[Miles]

Hey, I had. Wait, what do you want? Medium? Wait, you. You want me to supersize? Have you seen the movie Super Size Me? Okay, okay, I'll supersize it

[Tyler]

and then my wife, she'll tell me something and then change your mind at the window?

[Miles]

Yeah, I was pretending like I was.

[Ryan]

Did you do a Super Size Me bitch?

[Miles]

Yeah, I did.

[Jared]

Hasn't been a thing in like over 20 years.

[Miles]

Topical for me. I heard it the other day on a podcast.

[Ryan]

Did you just do a super sized feedback? Yeah, I just heard it the other day.

[Miles]

It's top of mind. Topical, top of mind

[Jared]

playing the hits.

[Miles]

But yeah, you don't want to that up. If a guy wants super size and you get him medium, then he's going to be pissed.

[Jared]

Just got out of jail like a lot. He's been in jail for like 20 years.

[Ryan]

Hey, what do you want?

[Miles]

You want.

[Ryan]

You want a double cheeseburger? Are you sure? Have you seen the movie Be a Heavyweights with Ben Stiller? Are you sure? Okay.

[Jared]

Just a line of cards behind you.

[Miles]

Your buddy just got out of jail. The last movie he watched is Super Sizing and Heavyweights.

[Jared]

Oh, man,

[Miles]

I gotta watch.

[Ryan]

I'm so glad that you were thinking the same thing that I was. Was. I was like, is he doing. He's really committing to the Super Size Me bit.

[Jared]

Top of mind. Top of mind. Last one. Thomas the Tractor guy, coworker, leaves the work trucks full of garbage all the time when he's off work. We take all the garbage out of the truck and jam it in his toolbox.

[Ryan]

Oh, that's fine.

[Tyler]

Perfectly acceptable.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Even if he wasn't leaving the truck a mess. That's fine to have. It's a good job.

[Ryan]

That one could be a great unprompted. There's no reason at all to do that.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you're good, dude.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So there we go.

[Jared]

That's about it.

[Ryan]

All right.

[Jared]

I like that segment. I think it'll be a rolling segment.

[Ryan]

We have nice.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Hopefully we can get more Super Size Me bits from that in the future.

[Miles]

I think that's.

[Ryan]

I'm.

[Miles]

I'm cash out unless you want a repeating bit. But you know how that goes with me. I'm buried in the ground. Do you guys have any. Am I. The situations from. From work.

[Ryan]

Mine was kind of the. The butter bit recently for myself. Am I the. For asking for butter? Oh, sure. At a buddy's house.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

At work though, you mean?

[Miles]

It can be either or. What am I not working by the. If. If I know that the toilet. If I just use the last of the toilet paper and there was none left in the bathroom, am I. Am I obligated to tell other people? Because I usually don't.

[Ryan]

No, I definitely don't either.

[Tyler]

Yeah, because that.

[Miles]

I mean, that's.

[Ryan]

We kind of. We've kind of have an unwritten you gotta check the toilet paper before you sit down rule here at the office.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Because I.

[Ryan]

Not.

[Miles]

If I'm walking down the hall and someone's walking in front of me to the other bathroom, I kind of know what's going on, and I feel. Do feel a little bit bad. But also at the same time, it's kind of fun to see him wobble.

[Jared]

You like to watch world burn? No. If there's, like, an extra roll in the bathroom, you're fine.

[Miles]

I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. But there's been many situations where we are out.

[Jared]

Yeah. Paper towel.

[Ryan]

I mean, I had Ryan. I had either. I think it was Tyler maybe bring me a roll of toilet paper once too.

[Miles]

Yeah, I was gonna use them, but

[Ryan]

that was when we were in the drought of toilet paper of, like, 20, 24.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

It's a tough year for us. I was gonna use in the toilet paper department. We ran out. No one ordered any.

[Tyler]

Oh, I remember that.

[Miles]

I was gonna use some Scott's paper towels, but then I realized I couldn't flush them out of the toilet, so I didn't want to put them in the trash can.

[Tyler]

She just got loose.

[Ryan]

So you just put them in your pocket and threw them away on the

[Miles]

ride home, I just threw in my. In Jake's office garbage.

[Jared]

So be.

[Ryan]

He had left his sunroof open, so he just popped him in the top Jeep. And then when he asked me about it, I said, it's windy out here, man. You never know what's gonna show up.

[Miles]

Yeah. Neighbors garbage can flew open.

[Jared]

He's got Fargo sunroof.

[Ryan]

And then Jake's like, are you sure, Ryan? Because this smells like your scent. Anyways, are we done? You got a fun fact.

[Jared]

On October 22, 1983, Charles Harris rammed his truck through an Augusta national gate and took seven people hostage in the pro shaft, demanding to speak to President Ronald Reagan, who was playing golf on the course. The hostage crisis lasted roughly two hours. Reagan was secured by Secret Service, and Harris was later apprehended.

[Ryan]

Did he get shot? Or, like, did. Did the guy who. Or did he go to jail?

[Jared]

The standoff ended peacefully after about two hours of negotiations. During which time? Reagan did not speak directly to the crime. Gunman. He pleaded guilty, sentenced 10 years, got

[Miles]

out in three, got on three, had a round at Augusta with Reagan.

[Ryan]

I was part of negotiation, and that's the only way you can get on Augusta these days.

[Tyler]

I tell you what, someone hostage.

[Ryan]

You got to hold someone hostage. Quite literally.

[Miles]

It's part of the negotiation.

[Ryan]

Yeah. God, I'd be negotiating for a me. Free membership.

[Miles]

Yeah. Membership or. Yeah, just.

[Ryan]

I will. I will be done if you just give me a free membership.

[Tyler]

Imagine showing up the next day to golf.

[Ryan]

Hey, guys.

[Miles]

Remember me?

[Ryan]

Well, there'd be three years where you can, you know, cool down.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. You become a change man.

[Tyler]

You grow a beard, get jacked in prison, they won't even recognize you.

[Miles]

Yeah. Parole officers will decide whether you can go on or not and just make a good impression.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, that'd be nice. You get solo rounds at Augusta. That's unheard of.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Wait, why?

[Tyler]

They're not gonna let anyone play with him.

[Ryan]

Oh, got it.

[Miles]

Unless he negotiates. Reagan playing with him.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Or your parole officer has to go with you in the cart.

[Ryan]

Do we get a beat on, like, what he wanted to talk to Reagan about probably Russia.

[Tyler]

That was most of his presidency there was, so.

[Jared]

Yeah, I think I missed that one.

[Ryan]

Gotta foresee that.

[Jared]

Oh, man. Was protesting his economic situation. That's all I got.

[Ryan]

He's protesting Reaganomics. Yeah.

[Jared]

Basically his economic situation.

[Ryan]

Did that age well or not age well? I don't remember if people like Reaganomics or don't like Reaganomics.

[Jared]

Generally. No.

[Ryan]

Generally don't like it. So that age well, for that guy, a little bit. All right. Is that it, Jared? That's it. Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode. You bet you radio. Have a great week. We'll see you in the next one.

[Miles]

You betcha. Yeah.

[Jared]

Rocky Bell, boner question for the exercise scientist. I want to get diced for supper. I've never heard that.

[Miles]

That's a great way to put it.

[Ryan]

Diced.

[Miles]

Dice me up.

[Jared]

I lift regularly and have a good amount of muscle. Not to brag, but I also like to house beers with the boys, and I have an inner domino. Dan, can you offer. Can you offer any advice on how to stick to a diet while still being able to crush beers? P.S. for Ryan, having muscle is what happens when you lift heavy weights, and it's. It is what allows you to not be a bench warmer in high school.

[Miles]

Well, yeah, like, none of that made sense either. Like, you just threw the bench warming in there. Even Though I wasn't a bench warmer. You just threw that in there with. Anyways, am I got to post a video? Do I got to put the video in the chat?

[Jared]

I have to go back to the weight room.

[Miles]

500 pounds. Deadlift. 163 pounds.

[Ryan]

So forget about that right now.

[Miles]

No, no. All time max. Okay, I get it.

[Ryan]

Okay, so real advice here. You don't have to stop drinking beer and you don't stop eating shitty. You just need to eat less. Again, I just. I. It's like I'm beating a dead horse here. Just eat less of the bad. So instead of having like three dinner rolls, just have one dinner roll. So start with just restricting your calories a little bit. It. And if you want to keep drinking and just keep your life the same, maybe eat a little bit less if you actually want to get cut. The best way to get cut, the best way to get diced is you have to just start running.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I hate to break. You just have to just run. You just gotta force gump it or bike. But yeah, you just have to start doing massive amounts of cardio.

[Jared]

Right.

[Ryan]

And you, you know, swimming, running, biking, it's probably the biggest bang for your buck in terms of calories. You just got to start burning more calories. Your fat will melt off.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Skip breakfast, I would say for at

[Jared]

least like 45 minutes of cardio, like at least three times a week.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Guys.

[Jared]

What?

[Miles]

Cardio is not cardio. 45 minutes. Cardio is not. That's. It's not the answer.

[Jared]

That's.

[Miles]

At least you can lose weight. You can lose weight. You just put yourself in Clark deficit. Keep lifting heavy. You're gonna. You'll lose fat and you'll retain muscle and nobody.

[Ryan]

He's eating like a piece of.

[Miles]

He's dirt.

[Ryan]

That's.

[Miles]

This is.

[Ryan]

You're talking about in a. In a person who's committed to getting dice and changing their whole life. Yes. Someone who wants to keep drinking and eating shitty. You have to just start running. You have to start burning the calories because he's still intaking the same amount.

[Miles]

Well, I think he's conf. He's confusing eating shitty with just dirty bulking. He's just on a dirty bulk.

[Ryan]

But he doesn't. He's not. He doesn't want to get bulky. He's trying to get diced.

[Miles]

Yeah, but imagine being diced and diced,

[Ryan]

in my mind means that you're. You're losing body fat.

[Miles]

Correct. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan]

You're.

[Miles]

You're showcasing more of your vascular Dirty.

[Jared]

Yeah. Six pack.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And if you're bulking, you're doing the opposite. You're adding more muscle, but you're also not losing any fat.

[Miles]

Yeah, he's just in a dirty bulk right now. He's gotta. He's gotta switch to a clean cut.

[Ryan]

But he said we say he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to eat clean.

[Miles]

Yeah, just skip breakfast, Pilos.

[Ryan]

Just start running. Yeah, you start running, you can eat whatever you want.

[Tyler]

Be good.

[Ryan]

You ain't. You're really anti running, huh?

[Miles]

Because I've. I've been in both worlds before. I've been in the running world. I've been in the lifting world.

[Ryan]

And

[Miles]

lifting is. Is, I feel like, is just way better for you.

[Ryan]

He's already lifting, though.

[Miles]

So you just got to clean the diet up.

[Ryan]

Then nobody isn't one.

[Miles]

Well, that's the thing you have.

[Ryan]

You want to keep sacrifice.

[Miles]

You have to sacrifice something.

[Ryan]

So then just go for regular runs.

[Miles]

Just eat clean Monday through Thursday, and then Friday through Sunday, you can just be a piece of drink, beers.

[Ryan]

That works. I used to do that. That doesn't work that way. I did that too.

[Miles]

It's called. It's called anabolic fasting. Look it up. That. For years, you're not 63.

[Ryan]

All right? So if you just want to. If you want to get diced, though, there's something's gotta give. And if you're not willing to clean up the diet. Yeah. You got to start running or swimming

[Miles]

or biking in the kitchen.

[Ryan]

That's like. This is the craziest disagreement I thought I'd ever have on this podcast.

[Miles]

No, I don't think we're disagreeing. I think we just haven't met in the middle yet.

[Ryan]

That is what definition of disagreeing.

[Miles]

I know. Anyway. Yeah, you. You like.

[Ryan]

So when I. When I was really behaving well, I was lifting weights and I was eating real clean. Yes, I lost a bunch of weight, but no one in this office would be like, wow, Miles is diced right now. Just eating clean and lifting weights doesn't necessarily dice you up. Cardiovascular is when you start getting vascular and you start fucking. Really dropping the body fat percentage. Never once did you walk in the office and go, wow, Miles is diced. Even when I weighed 227 and lifting weights.

[Miles]

No, I think you'd have to lose more weight to get diced. I think you'd have to be.

[Ryan]

But I was already, like, eating like, like 1500 calories a day. I couldn't go much.

[Miles]

No, I. I know.

[Ryan]

I know. So at that point, some I. I'd have to add in that, you know.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Every person that you see that's got a low body fat percentage who's, like, has a six pack and is vascular. And dice, they do some form of cardio.

[Miles]

I don't.

[Ryan]

Are you claiming your dice? Craziest claim I've ever heard my life.

[Jared]

Ride's a little diced.

[Miles]

I'm the most diced in this office.

[Ryan]

All right, we'll pop the tarp off. Okay. The most. The most diced in this office.

[Jared]

What a great superl.

[Ryan]

Most dice this office. That's like.

[Jared]

That's like be the tallest dwarf.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's like being the tallest dwarf.

[Jared]

The bar is low.

[Ryan]

It's like being a like Alcoholics Anonymous. You're like, I drink the last the least here.

[Jared]

I had one beer today. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Most.

[Miles]

Yeah, Most likely.

[Ryan]

I will give you that crown. You are most diced in the office.

[Miles]

And I used to be diced.

[Jared]

I believe it.

[Ryan]

And that was probably when you're doing cardio.

[Miles]

No, I wasn't doing any cardio. I swear. I couldn't because my.

[Ryan]

What's a mud run then?

[Miles]

That was that mud run. That was pre. Being diced.

[Ryan]

I would say you were more diced in mud run days than you were when else you're. I'll show you.

[Miles]

I can show you pictures, but again,

[Ryan]

you're eating like a. Like good. He doesn't want to eat good.

[Miles]

That's what I'm saying. You. I think you have to eat good.

[Jared]

But he doesn't want.

[Ryan]

I'm saying you don't have to. I'm saying you should start running. Just burn more calories. And you can and still eat shitty.

[Miles]

But the shittier you eat, the more calories you have to burn, the more cardio you have to do.

[Ryan]

I know. So if he stays doing exactly what he's doing and he just burns more calories, he'll get diced, waste it just.

[Miles]

It sounds like the calories in, calories out. No, I understand that. The easier option is just to eat cleaner because then you don't have to put in all the work to lower your body fat.

[Jared]

That's arguable, though.

[Miles]

What do you mean?

[Jared]

Eating clean is kind of tough.

[Ryan]

Eating clean is way harder than going for a run every day.

[Miles]

How bad do you want it? We can sit here and say, like,

[Ryan]

that he wants to drink beer and eat. I don't think he wants it that bad. I would say he's probably like a lukewarm desire for getting dice.

[Jared]

We can get a. We can get a followup for br.

[Ryan]

We get a followup. Yeah, we'll also see. You know, we presented to. I, you know, being the people's trainer

[Jared]

that I am most likely to be

[Ryan]

the trainer most likely to be the. Most likely to be the people's trainer. I am being much more realistic than Ryan, but we'll let. What was this? What was Rocky Bell, boater Rocky Bell Boner decide which plan is going to work best for his needs. Yeah, Ryan says just eat clean.

[Miles]

And I'm not saying you're gonna dice,

[Ryan]

and I'm saying you can. You just start running.

[Jared]

And his name's Rocky Balboater. Rocky Balboa did a ton of cardio.

[Ryan]

He did.

[Miles]

He's a boxer, though. He needs 12 rounds of conditioning.

[Ryan]

We'll just. Hey, we'll let Bell Boner decide.

[Jared]

Holding two dicks. Have you guys ever had the garlic bread gusher? You take your Olive Garden breadstick and poke your finger in it so the bread is hollow and dump your pasta sauce down the hole.

[Miles]

That. Actually, I've never heard. That sounds elite.

[Ryan]

I want to do that. I want to do that. Bad guys, if you want more, you bet your radio. You gotta check out our Patreon here to go to patreon.com radio or look us up on the app. And we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you got to check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.