If We Won The Lottery 🎙 #343

Summary

You Betcha Radio #343: "If We Won The Lottery"

Date: September 10, 2025
Host: Myles "You Betcha Guy"
Guests: Ryan, Tyler, Jared

Episode Overview

This week, the You Betcha gang leans hard into comedy and classic Midwest camaraderie as they riff on vehicle mishaps, karma in the garage, secret marriage leverage, and—finally—the juicy topic: What would they do if they won the lottery? The guys keep the laughs rolling while sharing relatable stories about aging, financial fantasizing, and the importance of stretching after 30.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Myles’ Big Confession: Truck vs. Warehouse Pole

[00:00 - 16:00]

• Myles opens up about a mishap: He rammed his truck into a warehouse pole, incurring $13,000 in damage.
• Ryan draws the connection to his own past light pole incident, teasing that karma got Myles for roasting him earlier.
• Tyler & Jared pile on with jokes about the “double whammy” of hitting your own pole in your own building.
• The details of the accident:
  • Myles wasn't on his phone; he just spaced out, going 5 mph, and hit the pole “almost dead center.”
  • The impact caused pop to spill all over the dash but no airbags deployed.
  • Damage includes a bent hood, malfunctioning adaptive cruise, and a jammed panel.
• Insurance and aftermath:
  • $13,000 damage; Myles starts the insurance process.
  • “When I was talking to insurance, they're like, so you hit the pole inside. Okay. Do you—it's your building. Yes, Yes. I did this to my own building. Pretty dumb.” – Myles [15:24]
• Themes: Embarrassment, the comedy of karma, and the importance of not going in too hard on friends’ mistakes.

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2. Midwest Marriage: Secrets, Leverage, and Payback

[6:00 - 15:00; 29:52 - 31:14]

• Myles describes “marriage leverage”:
  • Just as he lost leverage after hitting the pole (and previously ribbing his wife Anne for backing into a garage door).
  • Anne promptly tells their friends about Myles’ crash, instead of keeping it private.
  • “Marriage is about two things: keeping score and having leverage over the other person. And I lost some leverage that day, big time.” – Myles [30:00]
• Anecdotes about payback and keeping secrets illustrate the fun but competitive dynamic among spouses and friends.

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3. Accidental Injuries & Getting Old

[56:55 - 70:29]

• One-upping stories:
  • Sneezing in the shower and hurting your back (Tyler).
  • Clipping fingernails and getting neck pain (Ryan).
  • Kitchen/fridge injuries and general “fringery.”
  • “I just got a kitchen injury, I got a fridge injury, a fringery injury, and a fringery.” – Myles [59:00]
• On aging in your 30s:
  • “Ever since I turned 30 years old, I just—I wake up with something that doesn’t feel good.” – Myles [57:13]
  • They joke about requiring shower chairs, multivitamins, and even HGH to survive their 30s.
• Resigned self-deprecation:
  • Swapping dad-shoe advice, talking about taking baby aspirin, and fear of losing mobility with age.

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4. What Would You Do if You Won the Powerball?

[31:21 - 54:03]

• Lottery-pocalypse:
  • Powerball hits $1.8 billion.
  • Wild speculation about losing a winning ticket or “Charlie Berens accidentally throwing it away, thinking it was a receipt.” [31:46]
  • Segues to a tangent about a guy who lost a hard drive full of Bitcoin.
• Bitcoin & Hard Drives:
  • “That’s like my number one rule about life is just don’t throw a hard drive.” – Myles [35:39]
• Spending the Winnings: Personal Philosophies
  • Tyler’s approach:
    • Go stealth: Don’t tell anyone, not even the guys.
    • Try to preserve normalcy and avoid the curse of lottery winners.
    • “I'm trying to stay as anonymous as I possibly can be. I'm not telling you guys. I'm not telling...” [39:59]
    • He’d pay for family’s education, buy land, and set up conditions so future generations have to work to get the money (“they have to earn it”).
  • Myles would go public, dump it in the S&P 500, start a content series titled “Day in the Life of a $900 Million Guy,” and buy his own private golf course:
    • “I think I immediately run to Oh, You Betcha Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, whatever. And I just announce that I have won the lottery.” [43:07]
    • “If you invested $900 million and you had a 5% return year over year... you're making $45 million without doing anything.” [45:11]
  • Ryan’s plan:
    • Lawyers, wealth managers, and “as much cash as I can fit in my pocket.”
    • Would buy or build a compound, hunting ranch, or golf course, and casually pay off all family debts.
    • “First place, my pocket. How much do you think I can fit in my pocket? Like a hundred thousand?” [47:40]
    • Might keep coming to work for a while, if only to keep a routine.
  • Jared:
    • Steak dinner at Longhorn, then call into Dave Ramsey to troll him, then (joking) donate the rest to PETA. [54:50]
• Themes: The guys debate the importance of routine, whether it’s possible to “go broke,” and fear the lottery curse.
• Notable Quote:
  • “More money, more problems.” – Tyler [52:45]
  • “I would be the guy to help [my buddies] out of bad situations, like if they lose their house, bail them out of that.” – Tyler [51:42]

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5. Would You Buy Into Your Sports Team?

[53:08 - 54:28]

• Why Tyler wouldn’t buy the Vikings:
  • “Because then one of my favorite things in the world becomes my job.” [53:49]
• Smartest play:
  • Minority stake in a team like the Packers, so you get perks but no responsibility.

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6. Historic & Modern Lotteries

[74:06 - 75:15]

• Jared’s Fun Fact:
  • First recorded lottery was in China, Han dynasty (205–187 BC), used to fund the Great Wall, played via “Keno slips.”
  • Winners got prizes, goods, sometimes delivered by carrier pigeon (“the White Pigeon game”).

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7. Fan Questions: Silly Scenarios

[76:06 - 80:39]

• “Would you rather walk into a spider web or get chased by a goose?”
  • All pick spider web, since geese are “no joke.”
• “How do you eat spaghetti when no one’s watching?”
  • Unanimous: Messily. “Eat spaghetti like no one’s watching.” – Jared [80:39]
• Banana-eating habits
  • Turns into a round of goofy revelations (“I just shove the whole thing down”).

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8. Classic Midwest, Light Roast & Business as Usual

• Throughout, the guys keep the signature You Betcha humor flowing—whether discussing duct-taped bumpers, foam rental cars, or “zip-tie repairs.”
• Regular “roasts” and callbacks to ongoing inside jokes (like Ryan’s wrist injury, or Anne’s driving).
• No topic is too trivial—kitchen injuries, blinker malfunctions, golf cart mishaps—all ground for laughs.

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Memorable Quotes

• “Marriage is about two things: keeping score and having leverage over the other person. And I lost some leverage that day, big time.”—Myles [30:00]
• “That’s like my number one rule about life is just don’t throw a hard drive.”—Myles [35:39]
• “More money, more problems.”—Tyler [52:45]
• “Eat spaghetti like no one’s watching.”—Jared [80:39]

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Notable & Humorous Moments (with Timestamps)

• Myles’ confession & $13,000 warehouse accident [00:48–04:44]
• Ryan’s foot nearly run over by Anne’s golf cart [07:31]
• Total car damage and insurance hassles [09:17–10:12]
• “Marriage leverage” and marital tell-alls [29:52–31:14]
• Powerball deliberations and secret plans [39:59–43:07]
• Golf course dreams & ROI breakdown [45:11]
• Aging body complaints: sneezing injuries and “fringeries” [56:55–60:00]
• Historic lottery fact: Keno slips and the Han dynasty [74:06]
• Fan Q&A: Goose chase vs spider web [76:21]
• Banana-eating shame stories [80:42]

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Summary

Episode #343 trades small-town “guy talk” for big lotto dreams, all anchored by the hilarious honesty and banter fans love. Whether musing on midlife aches, marriage jokes, surprise calamities, or financial what-ifs, Myles, Ryan, Tyler, and Jared build a fun, relatable listen that’s as Midwest as a DQ drive-thru.

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Bottom Line:
If you’ve ever daydreamed about hitting it big, endured a dumb mistake, or simply needed a laugh about getting old, this episode delivers—you betcha.

Transcript

[Miles]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the you Bet yout Radio podcast. The boys are in the studio. The boys are fired up today. But I'd like to start the podcast off with a little bit of news in my life. I'd like to start off the podcast. I just gotta get it off my chest.

[Ryan]

You guys are. You guys are waiting so hard in anticipation. I know what it is.

[Miles]

Ryan's the only one that knows right now.

[Tyler]

With the morning we had around, this could be anything.

[Ryan]

Oh, you just win.

[Miles]

So I. Thursday was leaving the office, end of the, you know, we didn't work. Friday, I get in my car, pulling out of the place, and I rammed my truck into the pole in the warehouse.

[Tyler]

You two belong over there together. Oh, no, Ryan, you should go in on it. You don't need to be the bigger man right now.

[Ryan]

I am the bigger man.

[Miles]

Though I thought it was funny you.

[Tyler]

Weren'T parking in the garage anymore.

[Miles]

I will be parking in the garage. I parked outside to hide the fact that I hit the pole because I wanted to reveal it to you guys.

[Ryan]

Okay, I got. There's not really much to say from my end because I know how that feels and I. I didn't really want. I don't want anyone else to have to feel that nor have to go just go through the trouble of getting. Taking photos, reaching out to insurance, waiting for it to get fixed, all that type of if.

[Tyler]

This is worse than Ryan, because not only did you run into a pole, you ran into your own pole. Use double whammy. Your own truck, your own pole.

[Ryan]

Damage wise, it was way worse than mine.

[Miles]

Oh, way worse.

[Ryan]

Come on, we're talking over double the dollar amount.

[Miles]

Oh, so, yeah, so what happened? What's dumb is I wasn't on my phone. I was, you know, like. So if you're heading east, you know, out, and you do the one little turn around and then to out the garage door. I was just like, looking in the warehouse, just thinking about something, and I wasn't paying attention, and I just hit the pole square. It's like I was going fast. I was just riding the brake, you know, like five miles an hour.

[Jared]

So, like, where did it hit the.

[Miles]

So the. The front grill just to the. The side of the front gap. Like, basically it's almost center. So. No, no, no, no, no. It was so. It was in between the. The far left headlight and the grill. So it was about, see three feet off of center.

[Ryan]

The left third, left side third.

[Tyler]

That's so much worse than just clipping your light oh, yeah.

[Miles]

No, trust me. Yeah. I found out the pole's very sturdy.

[Tyler]

That's what they're there for. It's good.

[Miles]

Yeah. So I did that. I hit it. I had, like, a open can, like a. Like a pop, like, in my thing, hit the pole, went all over the dash.

[Tyler]

No airbags, though.

[Miles]

I was going five miles an hour.

[Tyler]

Sometimes they'll go off.

[Miles]

So the worst part is, so, like, if you were to, like, back up into another car, right, or something like that, you would just, like, there would be one spot that would be the main point of contact, but because it's a pole, it made the main point of contact all the way up and down the front of the vehicle, and that's where you're getting a lot more damage. I hit that thing, and I just felt so.

[Tyler]

Stupid.

[Miles]

Story for people who didn't hear about Ryan's mishap. I was giving Ryan about. When we're leaving a restaurant, he whipped and hit a light pole with his truck. Hit the side panel door. But, yeah, this is worse. So I immediately feel shame. I immediately feel embarrassed and stupid and a big time. And I. I call Ryan and I go, ryan. He's like, what's. You know, whatever Ryan does? And I go, I pulled the ride. And he goes, what? You hit a light bulb with your car? And I said, pretty much.

[Ryan]

FaceTime. Holy. Only words out of my mouth.

[Tyler]

So, yeah, I knew you're acting weird. The last couple days, you first, didn't park in the garage. Second, you rode with Noah to a shoot. I was like, this. What's going on?

[Miles]

Yeah, I just wanted to preserve you guys finding out on the podcast.

[Jared]

So you got the crash trophy now?

[Ryan]

Yeah, finally got that passed off.

[Miles]

And. And just let me have it at Global, because this happened the day before Global. Me and Ryan played Global together at night. And Ann texted the group and was like, I think me and Meg should drive, because I don't trust. Just been. Let me have it. And, you know, I'm always like, when Anne's driving and I'm in the passenger seat, I'm always being like, hey, like, don't hit this car in front of us.

[Tyler]

I mean, she. She ran into your garage door, so you're even.

[Miles]

Thank you very much. And also, guys, there's so many layers to this. So I tell this to Ryan and Anne in confidence, right? I show up to glowball, and the other friends we have are like, hey, I heard you hit a pole. And I find out that Anne goes, miles is gonna kill me for telling you.

[Tyler]

This.

[Miles]

So Ann, couple years ago or years, yeah, probably a couple years ago, just backed into our garage door as it was still like going up and so bent the garage door. I had to go out there and like bend it back. Now it just makes the loudest noise ever when it opens and closes. We paid the extra money when we built the house to get the quiet garage doors. Well, that was a waste of money. So now it's louder than if I had got the cheaper garage door. And she was like, don't tell anyone.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And then I remember I. I was a little bit drunk with my family and I was gonna bring it up and she gave me the look and I didn't bring it up. All the other stuff and I do something way worse than that and she's just telling everyone about it.

[Jared]

It's a one way street.

[Miles]

So. Yeah, I guess no secrets in our marriage.

[Tyler]

Hey, now you've told the podcast. So you've told more people than she's told.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Ryan]

But then what happened at Global with the golf cart?

[Tyler]

No, no, you didn't.

[Ryan]

No, no, you didn't.

[Miles]

There's two things. One, and almost ran over Ryan's foot.

[Ryan]

Yes. We're just standing at a tee box.

[Miles]

And she just almost ran over Ryan.

[Ryan]

And I think she was on her phone and she didn't realize that her foot was like still on the gas a little bit. So it's like creeping forward and I felt it hit the side of my. The tire hit the side of my foot and I go, oh, oh, that's my foot. And she stopped, luckily. Otherwise it would have crushed my ankle because at that point it was like my ankle was kind of like pinned underneath, like the bottom corner.

[Tyler]

Yeah. You can't have another ankle injury. Didn't you hurt your ankle already? No. Your wrist?

[Ryan]

My wrist.

[Tyler]

The ankle of the arm, they call it.

[Ryan]

Yeah. So that happened.

[Miles]

Yeah. And then we're driving back to the car to put our clubs away. It's dark as out. I just ran over the curb.

[Tyler]

Like, did you drop down or you ran into.

[Miles]

It was like the corner where like the sidewalk goes down into the parking lot and like there's just a little corner and I just, I just jumped the corner.

[Tyler]

That's not so bad. I've done that in the daylight, so.

[Miles]

I don't know what's happening to me. Yeah, you're getting old, so. Yeah. Dude, that was just, you know, you, you talk about you not being able to enjoy the wedding because your blinker handle broke off. Just put kind Of a damper in my whole weekend.

[Jared]

Oh, for sure. Cuz that's all I can think about.

[Miles]

Yeah, we didn't work Friday, so then like all day I'm. I'm supposed to be enjoying my day. Friday I'm thinking about how I got to take this to the place. What's the damage going to be? All the other stuff, it's a whole thing.

[Tyler]

Have you brought it in yet?

[Miles]

So I got an estimate and now the insurance stuff is working it out, but.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

$13,000 in damage.

[Jared]

13,000.

[Miles]

Bent the hood.

[Ryan]

Well, because the light pole, it's pushed.

[Miles]

It pushed the panel back so that when I open the driver's side door, the, the, the door catches on the like side panel and makes this loud clicking noise. The adaptive cruise that's on the sensors on the front.

[Tyler]

Gone.

[Miles]

Well, it's, it's not adaptive anymore. I, I tried it out because I could still drive it. So it's not like it's. I, it's. I think it's very cosmetic. Cosmetic ends. That little sensor. I turn the adaptive cruise on and it just immediately thought that there was something in front of me.

[Tyler]

He's probably pointing at the ground.

[Miles]

Yeah. So I can't use that right now. Oh no. Just the dumbest ever.

[Jared]

I mean, you smashed your dad's truck years ago.

[Miles]

Yeah, I did. I just. Yeah, it's been a long time since I've been in an accident of any sort of. But no one was involved, no one was hurt.

[Ryan]

Hey, gotta take the positives out of it.

[Tyler]

Could you pull. I don't think we're gonna have any video of it, but could you pull the video of when this happens?

[Miles]

There's no video.

[Tyler]

We could get audio though. We could hear Miles run into it. We have a camera right outside that door, don't we?

[Miles]

No, dude, this is.

[Ryan]

No, this is in the warehouse, like right across the walkway from the trailer.

[Tyler]

Oh, I thought you hit the, like the protective poles by the garage door.

[Miles]

That big of a.

[Tyler]

No, this is worse.

[Miles]

No, we. The, this is gray. The wall is gray. It all blends in.

[Tyler]

I thought you hit the poles that were designed to be hit.

[Miles]

No, that would be crazy if I was willy nilly going through that garage door.

[Tyler]

So you hit like the. One of the structural integrity poles that like.

[Miles]

Yeah. And after the fact, I got home and I was like, I didn't check the pole to see if the building's going to fall down or.

[Ryan]

Fine. Yeah, building.

[Jared]

The whole building caves in.

[Miles]

That would be. Oh my God. H vac falls to the ceiling and goddamn engineers.

[Jared]

The big Yoda just falls straight on Miles's hood.

[Ryan]

And then it just starts working again.

[Miles]

Then it kicks off. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Cools off the truck for you.

[Miles]

Oh, well, I think we gotta change out the air filter.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Did you change the air filter on your truck?

[Miles]

Probably gonna get it fixed.

[Jared]

Put on my tab. It's all right though now, you know.

[Miles]

Well, yeah, so. So we need to get some like high vis caution tape on that pole because I'm gonna continue to park inside just that pole. But I. Yeah, I'll never hit a poll again though, I can tell you that.

[Ryan]

No, I haven't hit one since. Yeah, it's kind of a good. Yeah, it's just a good little wake up call. Those are good. I mean, kind of a. The situation is like karma at its truest in its truest form, you know?

[Tyler]

Definitely.

[Ryan]

If you don't believe in karma, it's. You know, maybe don't go in so far on somebody when something comes up.

[Miles]

Yeah. Remember this? You two guys, neither one of us.

[Tyler]

Went in on either of you. We just left. Laughed.

[Miles]

No, you were going in. You both were just going in on me. So you better watch out.

[Tyler]

Yeah, karma's patient sometimes too. This didn't happen right away. It was just biting its time.

[Ryan]

Karma is patient. Karma is kind.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Karma is a cat pure in my lap.

[Tyler]

Yes, it is karma chameleon.

[Miles]

So. Yeah, that sucks. Sucks bad. You guys will have to get ocular pat down of it after this. Go check out the damage.

[Tyler]

It's.

[Ryan]

It's a nice. It's.

[Miles]

I did. There was one like rubber, like there's like a flap underneath your bumper, you know that like got bent back and was on my wheel. So I had to like. I had to like duct tape it.

[Tyler]

Up so it wasn't like.

[Miles]

So it wasn't. Yeah, going on my wheel, that's about it. Otherwise I've been able to drive it once in a while. My pre collision alert will go off randomly even if there's not a car in front of me.

[Tyler]

It's just. It's just not taking any chances with you.

[Miles]

Yeah, just assumes at all times I'm in a collision. In a collision with something, there's a light pole or any pole within, you know, 100ft, it's going off.

[Ryan]

Time goes on though. You're gonna get you. Once the truck is fixed, you're gonna forget about all of it.

[Miles]

But you will ever forget.

[Ryan]

Yeah, but don't ever forget.

[Miles]

It's one of those.

[Ryan]

Well, that's the Thing. When you drive by that pole every single time, even if it's two years from now, you'll remember that. You'll remember that.

[Jared]

So this sucks too, because it's like all fiberglass and plastic.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Well. Yeah. And the fact. So easy. Yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

I tried to pop the hood. It's like jam shut.

[Jared]

See the jaws of life.

[Miles]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Tyler]

Yeah. They'll charge you 400 bucks just to get under the hood now.

[Miles]

That's why you got insurance, you know?

[Ryan]

God. I just. I know how you felt in the. In the situation. And I even asked him, I said, what was the first thing that you thought about after this happened? I said, did you think of me right away? And he said, yep.

[Miles]

Pulled Orion. So no pole is safe here in the Fargo Moorhead area. Who's Ryan and I driving around?

[Tyler]

You guys are a good one, two punch. Ryan will get all of them outside, you'll get all of them inside.

[Miles]

It's hard to hit a pole inside the car.

[Tyler]

Stay out of parking garages.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

When I was talking to insurance, they're like, so you hit the pole inside. Okay. Do you. It's your building. Yes, Yes. I did this to my own building. Pretty dumb.

[Ryan]

What is the percentage?

[Tyler]

Yeah, please mute themselves.

[Miles]

I've never heard this before.

[Jared]

This is a new one for us.

[Miles]

I've been in Insurance for 30 years.

[Ryan]

And I've never heard of anyone hitting their own pole.

[Miles]

Cool it, light pole, buddy. Prize picks is here. We are fresh off of week one. I submitted quite a few lineups, had a great time playing. I won a couple bucks, literally.

[Ryan]

You had fun, though.

[Miles]

I did have a lot of fun. And all it takes is just one. It just takes one lineup to hit to make it all worth it. And I think this week's our week.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it is.

[Miles]

And so guys, right now, prize picks will give you fifty dollars in lineups. When you play your first five dollar lineup, win or lose, you'll get fifty bucks in lineups. Use promo code YBR when you sign up today. And this week we got free square boys, Travis Kelsey, Max discount. See, all he's got to do is catch one receiving yard for him to hit. So we got him on the lineup so far. I also got Drake May, more than 216 and a half pass yards. I think he showed some promise last week. The Miami Dolphins is who he plays. They seem to be in complete and utter shambles. Yeah, plus Daniel Jones went off on him last week, so. Feeling good about that one, Jared.

[Jared]

I got Keon Coleman More than a half a touchdown. It could be receiving or rushing.

[Miles]

Nice.

[Tyler]

Be a shame if he got about.04 touchdowns.

[Ryan]

I know. That would be our luck.

[Miles]

Or through a touchdown pass.

[Tyler]

Oh, man.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I got CJ Stroud. More than two. 29 and a half pass yards. I like CJ. I think Siege. I think we have a big week from Siege this week.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And I got Derek Henry, King Henry. More than 94 and a half rush yards.

[Jared]

Good play.

[Tyler]

The King prize picks also has this new function called the feed where you can go. You can look up somebody's name and follow them and follow their picks. So if you guys want to maybe ride with me. My prize picks username is the Wooden sword. So you want to. You want to follow me. The wooden sword is me and I am. You can change it if you don't like it.

[Miles]

I will figure out how to get. I don't think my profile is public yet.

[Tyler]

Okay, mine is. I'll help you guys.

[Jared]

Mine is a. Jared. YBR J E R R O D.

[Miles]

Y B R. Okay.

[Ryan]

Miles, I'm not following Tyler.

[Tyler]

You don't have to.

[Miles]

I might have to follow him.

[Ryan]

I'm just kidding. I'll shoot.

[Miles]

Just fade every single lineup. That's what they need to add. So you can copy someone's lineup in the feed. Just kind of sick. There should be a button to just flip it, completely reverse and just fade everything. So, yeah, I'll let you guys know when I got my profile up and running. Okay, so then you guys can just see all the lineups I'm firing off.

[Tyler]

And any one of you guys can do this. So, like, if you have a group chat with your. Your buddies there, you guys send bets to each other. You can just follow each other right on Prize picks that anyone can make their profile public.

[Miles]

And I'm just looking for lineups anyways. Just.

[Ryan]

I might just start going. Just random people following. Copy.

[Tyler]

That's what I've done. I did two of those this weekend.

[Miles]

Let's go. So, guys, it's a lot of fun. We're having a great time. Go download Prize picks. Use code YBR.

[Tyler]

It takes. It'll literally take you less than 10 seconds to make your thing.

[Miles]

It was nice, though. It didn't happen in front of anyone. Yeah, that's helped a lot.

[Jared]

Could have been a lot worse.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Like, I think Anne, like, almost running over my foot is arguably worse because there is people 100. There's people there watching and witnessing what was.

[Miles]

And it could have had serious bodily harm.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I Could hook your leg.

[Ryan]

My. I would have had to because it was, like, on the side. It would have snapped my ankle out of. Fell down, and then it could have. She could have just kept driving up my leg over my body. I, Like, I could have been paralyzed.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Correct. Yes.

[Tyler]

Could have lost all whole leg.

[Ryan]

Yep. I'd have missed out on a year of, you know, playing with my kids and so long term effects. Yeah.

[Jared]

And golf.

[Ryan]

Golf, too. Yep.

[Miles]

Well, we would have finished global. I just would have taken your shots.

[Tyler]

Just screaming on the back of the.

[Miles]

Golf cart, oh, two more holes. Right. Go to the hospital.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

We're on the last hole. Just bear with.

[Tyler]

We got a chance to win here.

[Miles]

We did get third place, by the way.

[Tyler]

Ryan told me second place on the podcast.

[Ryan]

Well, there was a T1. There was two teams tied for first, and then. So. Okay, the place we got was second.

[Miles]

We were five under through nine. The. The winner. No, we were. Yeah, the winners were six on.

[Tyler]

Okay. Okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So technically third.

[Tyler]

I didn't have to. Want to have to pull receipts on my own podcast.

[Ryan]

Yeah, no, that's fine.

[Miles]

So, yeah, it was a good. Good evening. Good evening. But, yeah. God, that sucks. Sucked bad.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Tyler]

I think of it like this. You want to baby your truck now? You can kind of beat it up a little bit.

[Miles]

No, what's.

[Tyler]

What's some mud here? Scratch there.

[Ryan]

Now, did you. Did you like. Because you had to clean all the pop and shit off your dash. Like, how miserable is that?

[Tyler]

That's still there?

[Ryan]

Because, like, what. The work you're doing there just does nothing for what actually happened to your truck?

[Miles]

Well, I was like. I called Adam. I. I don't.

[Tyler]

I.

[Miles]

There's a potential. You might have to come pick me up. I don't know.

[Ryan]

I might have to ride the scooter.

[Tyler]

It would have been so funny if you had to call a tow truck to come into the warehouse to pull your truck out of there.

[Ryan]

Oh, no, we'd have. We. We did. We just towed it up.

[Tyler]

That would have been a nightmare.

[Miles]

Yeah. Because I. I was able to drive it. I. I immediately got in and tried to drive it, which is what you should do in an acc. It works. Yeah. And once I assessed the situation and saw that the noise that I heard was just the rubber flap rubbing on the tire, I was like, all right, good to go.

[Ryan]

No smoke.

[Tyler]

Take the back roads home, though, just in case.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, I went through town. I've been on the interstate.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I haven't been in the interstate in five days.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Good call.

[Ryan]

And if you're going too fast, like, that hood could fly up.

[Tyler]

You did put it. You did try to pop it, you know.

[Miles]

Oh, Tommy boy way.

[Tyler]

Hood rips off.

[Miles]

And then when I went and got the estimate, the guy's like, ah, just keep driving it. If you hear see any alerts, just let. Then maybe stop.

[Jared]

Just let him go. Starts on fire right in the warehouse. Right when you have the pole.

[Tyler]

There's no alerts though. You could drive it.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I do have rental car insurance too, so, like, if I do need to rent a car while it's in the shop, they'll cover that too.

[Tyler]

Oh, get it.

[Miles]

Sick.

[Tyler]

Get a Subaru so we can finish that video.

[Jared]

Get a slingshot.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. Guys, it's only like 75 a day.

[Ryan]

Slingshot would be sick. And we only got like a month left of slingshot season, so.

[Miles]

That's true. Is that that stupid car with three wheels?

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

It's like an oversized motorcycle. Like oversized three wheeler with a wheat.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but it's like flipped.

[Jared]

It's like a lame Batman mobile.

[Miles]

Yeah. Total midlife crisis car. The only people driving around is dudes in their 50s. Midlife crisis.

[Tyler]

Like, it's way worse than just buying a Harley.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Jared]

Freshly divorced.

[Miles]

Yeah. Because you can be just like a biker guy, you know?

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

Freshly divorced or freshly, like empty nest.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Right up their alley, that Hummers, PT Cruisers, you know, the whole thing.

[Ryan]

Hummers used to be the sweetest vehicles.

[Jared]

Gaspy. Yellow too.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

Or red.

[Ryan]

Yep. Yeah, because yellow was transformers, wasn't it? Was that a yellow Hummer?

[Tyler]

That was a Camaro. Camaro. Oh, it was yellow. I think I've told this before, but I had a buddy in college who, freshman year of football, he tore his acl, so he had that big leg cast deal on or whatever. So he got a handicap sticker and he drove a big yellow Hummer. So then we would drive him around and get to park in the handicap spot with a giant yellow Hummer.

[Ryan]

And it just looked so up. Yeah.

[Miles]

I was a few miles an hour away from getting a handicap sticker. Who knows, you know, when your life flashed before your eyes.

[Tyler]

Hey, if there's ever a place to go, though.

[Miles]

What?

[Ryan]

It's up.

[Tyler]

If there's ever a place that if.

[Miles]

I were to die.

[Tyler]

If you were to die, it'd be here, right?

[Miles]

Yeah, sure. By myself, rotting all weekend long.

[Tyler]

Long weekend. Friday off. I think Anne would have probably come to check up on you.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You would have brought it for sure too, because The H Vac would have gone out and it had been real hot.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

Gross.

[Jared]

Well, maybe you can park at the handicap spots here now.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, I felt handicapped after.

[Jared]

I did it.

[Miles]

So what's the difference?

[Tyler]

Just the sticker. That's it.

[Jared]

Yeah, I got myself a ticket.

[Tyler]

Oh, good job.

[Miles]

And when I, you know, you're driving around and like you pull up next to someone or driving by some, you, you just want to be like, I'm not a bad driver. Because you know, you drive by someone with like a beat up car with the crash, you know, they got a big. Clearly they were in an accent. Didn't get it fixed. You're like, back off of this person.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

My favorite is when you like see the bumpers cracked and then they just drill holes and zip tie the bumper back together.

[Ryan]

Duct tape.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Or if there's like a window out, they have like garbage bags.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's another good one.

[Miles]

Cardboard.

[Tyler]

Talk about noisy.

[Miles]

Yeah, but I just know for a fact that it'll get fixed, but then it'll just won't. It just won't be the same again. You know, there's going be something that comes up.

[Ryan]

Well, yeah, it's on the Kelly Foo book now too.

[Tyler]

Do you own it or is it a lease truck?

[Miles]

I own it.

[Tyler]

Just get a new one.

[Miles]

We'll see. I actually was talking about that. So I'm about to hit 60,000 miles and I feel like 60,000 miles before that is a good time to sell.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Unless it's a salvage type, I think.

[Miles]

I'm just going to run into the ground, into the pole.

[Tyler]

Good stuff.

[Miles]

I'll laugh at that. Light pole boy.

[Ryan]

Nice one, Jerry.

[Tyler]

So, yeah, I thought for sure when you started this you're having another kid.

[Jared]

I thought so too.

[Ryan]

I.

[Miles]

That went through my mind that I was like, oh, I'm setting this up like I'm having another kid. Way worse than that.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That'D have been bad. But this is way worse.

[Tyler]

At least we know he's kidding.

[Miles]

Future kid Someday.

[Jared]

It's a comedy podcast.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

This is joking.

[Tyler]

You were wanted. Okay.

[Ryan]

I mean, we're three for four in vehicle issues in I'd say in the last, what, six months? Tyler, it's your turn. I'm up.

[Tyler]

I'm due.

[Jared]

You are due.

[Miles]

No, hopefully.

[Tyler]

I mean, I guess.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Hopefully not. But it may. I mean. Yeah.

[Tyler]

I told you guys.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Things come in three.

[Miles]

The.

[Ryan]

What are they saying?

[Jared]

It's fours now.

[Miles]

Yeah, Things come in fours.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I think I've checked out. I Think I told you guys this my speakers blew.

[Miles]

Yeah. That's just not. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

So it's an 800 fix. Apparently.

[Ryan]

You had your speakers blow you.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it was awesome. No.

[Miles]

You know, you can just get a vasectomy. You don't have to.

[Jared]

She have a nice base.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Oh. Oh, yeah. Tyler turns on Mo Baba, drives a hummer. He loves. He loves getting after it with Skrillex.

[Tyler]

Playing Where my bows at?

[Miles]

Oh, boy. So yeah. Let me have it. Let me have it. Let me have it in the comments. It's fine.

[Ryan]

You'll skate right by. It's fine. These guys, they're not out here to get you. They're out here to get.

[Tyler]

Sure.

[Jared]

I'll just cut this entire part out.

[Tyler]

What is miles? Whatever you do, don't just spam Miles DMS without terrible driver. Don't do it.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And don't do it to his Miles that you bet you guy page where he for sure is on more than not often or more than the regular page.

[Miles]

Yeah. So. And it's like another thing I was thinking about driving home is we all know that marriage is about two things. Keeping score and having leverage over the other person. And I lost some leverage that day big time. And I don't know what I'm. What Ann needs to do to gain some leverage back. But I'm hoping she does something stupid over the next couple weeks.

[Jared]

Really?

[Ryan]

Well, she always around my foot over.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So I.

[Tyler]

She was really close to especially aware.

[Ryan]

Enough though to stop it.

[Tyler]

She was this close to giving leverage right back to Miles.

[Miles]

You know, like driving wise. I. I always had the leverage as she hit the garage door, you know. And now that's gone and I've one up that so now I just have to. I hope she doesn't have to if she doesn't want up that I'll find leverage in another field. Hopefully.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But yeah, so I'm down bad leverage wise in my marriage.

[Jared]

All right.

[Miles]

So it looks like I'll be doing every social event that's tough possible in that coming up. You know, no football.

[Tyler]

We'll come up with something for you that's you can get your leverage back without. Without anything getting broken.

[Miles]

You know, we'll find he give me a place to stand. I'll move the world.

[Jared]

Just buy her like flowers or something.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you're right back on time. That's all it takes.

[Miles]

That's it.

[Tyler]

Done.

[Miles]

So you guys see the. The power balls got up to $1.8 billion.

[Tyler]

Pretty big. Yeah.

[Ryan]

I'm gonna spot one the other day.

[Miles]

Did someone win? Yeah.

[Tyler]

Have they claimed it or they just know that there's a winner out there.

[Jared]

There's a winner out there.

[Miles]

So no one's claimed it yet.

[Tyler]

Could go unclaimed. Imagine winning $1.8 billion and not knowing because you just didn't watch the news or see the numbers.

[Miles]

You know who that would happen to? Charlie Barron's. Yeah, for sure. He'd buy a Powerball ticket, lose it, win 1.8 billion, and not be able to find the ticket.

[Tyler]

Charlie would accidentally throw the ticket away on the way out of the gas station, thinking it was a receipt.

[Miles]

100.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It's like having a hard drive of, like, Bitcoin. 10,000 Bitcoin on it, and everyone.

[Jared]

A hard drive of bitcoin, apparently.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

You see that? The one dude that had, like, it was. It would be like a billion dollars of bitcoin. He finally quit looking in the dump.

[Ryan]

He was looking in the landfill for, like, what, 10 years?

[Tyler]

Something like that. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Or something.

[Miles]

Well, it's kind of like OJ when he was, you know, he vowed the rest of his life he would try to track down Nicole's killer.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Kind of very similar vibes.

[Ryan]

Yeah. The only place he didn't look, though, is in heaven. It's true, he's probably not heaven if that's something you believe in, But.

[Miles]

OJ Looked at every country club across the United States, couldn't find the trailer.

[Ryan]

In the mirror. He had all mirrors removed.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Of his life.

[Jared]

He ran out of time.

[Ryan]

Even in the Bronco. Yeah, it's gone.

[Miles]

I'm sure he was still looking till the day he died.

[Ryan]

For sure.

[Tyler]

For sure.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

That's why he got on Twitter the.

[Ryan]

Hotel room he found. He found all of his sports memorabilia. He was just looking for the killer. He just happened to come across with his buddies.

[Jared]

Guns.

[Ryan]

Correct. Just in case.

[Tyler]

Well, in case the killer was there.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Protect yourself. We know the guy had a knife.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

How many billion did he have on that?

[Tyler]

I think it was around 1 billion.

[Miles]

1 billion on the hard drive. Oh, how does that work, though? So there's only so many billions of bitcoin. There's only so many bitcoins out there. I know. This is going to be a rabbit hole here. There's only so many bitcoins. If you have. So he had bitcoins on his heart. Isn't bitcoins on the blockchain? It's very confusing.

[Tyler]

I. I know nothing about cryptocurrency.

[Miles]

Jared, you're our Only hope at even slightly navigating this.

[Jared]

I think it might just be encrypted onto the hard drive.

[Tyler]

Ah, crypto. Cryptid.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So bitcoin's maximum supply is 21 million coins. And as of August 2025, more than 19 million have been mined. So there's about 1.5 million remaining bitcoins to be mined.

[Miles]

So he's got X amount of bitcoins on that hard drive. So no, like those will never be able to get sold again.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Miles]

That seems crazy.

[Tyler]

I don't know. It's like losing a briefcase of cash, I think. Yeah.

[Jared]

It's just like cash is out there.

[Miles]

Yeah. If you just burnt it.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Burnt a billion dollars in cash.

[Tyler]

Pablo Escobar forgetting where he buried his money type of deal.

[Jared]

Didn't the Joker do that too?

[Tyler]

Yeah, he. He had a giant stack of cash he just burned. Because he's crazy.

[Miles]

It wasn't. It was probably prop money, Jared. Because it was a movie.

[Tyler]

Christopher Nolan really love. He likes practical effects. He doesn't.

[Miles]

Yeah. Like Cord. That's. That sucks for that guy. Condolences to that guy.

[Tyler]

You know, and he just like, he like quit his job right away to go look for this bitcoin because, like, if I find it, it'll be worth every second I'm unemployed. But he eventually was like, I can't do this forever, so I need to.

[Ryan]

Get a part time job.

[Jared]

But needle in a haystack.

[Ryan]

Literally crazy. Like, I wonder how long it was gone before he started looking. Yeah, like how deep does that get in the landfill over.

[Miles]

Kind of a crazy move. Just be throwing hard drives away.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I don't know.

[Miles]

I still have hard drive that's broken.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Same.

[Miles]

Because I'm like, why would I throw this away?

[Ryan]

It could be bitcoin on there.

[Miles]

That's like. That's like my number one rule about life is just don't throw a hard drive.

[Tyler]

Hard drives, laptop boxes, iPhone boxes, you just. You cannot throw those away. Tupperware.

[Miles]

You just never know if you got a billion dollars.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Two by fours in bitcoin.

[Tyler]

Or a paper you did in college.

[Miles]

Yeah. What. What happens if I need to just whip up a paper.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I found it.

[Miles]

For an exact scenario that I already wrote one for. I'm not writing it again.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that would suck.

[Ryan]

Yeah. What if you need to pull up your a 2015 resume? You know, just to toss it out there on Indeed or something.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I found it.

[Miles]

What if I gotta fire up my resume again? I gotta redo it.

[Tyler]

Yeah. The building Collapsed.

[Ryan]

Miles, you know how long it took me to get those columns right?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Or the margins or whatever they are.

[Jared]

On my word document.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. God, kids will never know these days what it was like to get the margins correct on resumes back in 2001.

[Tyler]

5.

[Jared]

They suck.

[Tyler]

I don't. I think I used a template for every resume I ever did.

[Ryan]

I wanted to be unique.

[Miles]

I think I've only ever. I think I've submitted my resume two times my whole life. One at Anytime Fitness, one for another marketing gig that I didn't get the job for, and that's it.

[Ryan]

You didn't have to submit one to your dad. Resume. The resume is just a pulse check.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's a handshake.

[Miles]

I don't know if my dad's ever looked at a resume.

[Tyler]

I was gonna say, well, what would he do if someone applied for a concrete job and they gave him a resume? Would he even look at it?

[Miles]

I mean, I'm sure he would. He probably wouldn't read it, though.

[Ryan]

You know what a funny bit?

[Miles]

It's kind of like when you look at the menu for like 10 minutes, you haven't read a single thing. Yeah, that's my dad looking at resumes.

[Ryan]

A funny bit would be like if you. If you sent. Sent in a resume for a concrete job to your from like an anonymous email and just see what he see if he brought it up, spam him with the resume like once a week for. For the next, like, six weeks. But, hey, really looking forward to hearing from you, Mike.

[Miles]

It's like, why? Why? My dad already's got it hard enough trying to find people. Do you know what I mean? It's a cruel prayer.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It's like, that's it.

[Ryan]

No, you're right.

[Miles]

One step too far.

[Tyler]

You're right.

[Miles]

Like, he already can't find help and now we're just doing that to him.

[Ryan]

Yeah, no, you're right, you're right.

[Tyler]

You gotta start popping up more grandkids.

[Miles]

That would be like after I hit the pole at you coming up to me and just kicking me in the nuts for no reason.

[Jared]

Kicking his pole.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you're right. I got a little ahead of myself.

[Miles]

Yeah. Jeez, relax, dude.

[Ryan]

I went down a rabbit pole there.

[Miles]

Rabbit hole. Hey, we're on the same team now.

[Ryan]

I know, I know, I know, I know.

[Miles]

It's us versus them.

[Ryan]

I know.

[Tyler]

What did we do?

[Miles]

We didn't hit a poll. I think it's wild, though, that in the four people on this podcast, we've only had Two accidents. And since this company started and both of them, we hit polls. What are the fucking chances?

[Tyler]

In the same calendar year, what are the chances? 50.

[Ryan]

Well, the first, the first and the second best driver in this room.

[Tyler]

I don't know about that anymore.

[Jared]

So I think Tyler's the best driver right now.

[Tyler]

Probably.

[Ryan]

Is the blinker, is that considered an accident?

[Tyler]

I don't think so.

[Jared]

It's a fuck up.

[Miles]

More of an incident than an accident.

[Ryan]

I mean, I suppose if you won the Powerball, the first thing would probably.

[Tyler]

Be fix your truck.

[Ryan]

Not even submit it to insurance. Keep that off the record.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Ryan]

Cash for it.

[Miles]

What would you guys do if you won the. I feel like we maybe have done this, but let's say, let's say you win the Powerball. You've, you've done the process of getting the money. One, are you staying anonymous or not? And then two, what is your next 24 hours look like? If you won the. If you won the lottery, what is your next 24 hours look like?

[Tyler]

God, I, I'm gonna do my best, like secret agent, like keep everything as quiet as possible. I'm one of those guys where I'm trying to stay as anonymous as I possibly can be. Like, I'm not telling you guys. I'm not telling.

[Miles]

So you're not quitting your job even though you have like 900 million burning a hole in your pocket?

[Tyler]

I, I like working. Okay. All right. I mean, maybe I would, I'd probably stick it out for like five years and then be like, all right. Because I, I have the freedom to retire whenever I want. You know, I wouldn't tell my immediate family. I would tell my wife. And that's pretty much it. I was slowly leak it, but that first 24 hours, not a fucking soul.

[Jared]

I'm thinking he wanted.

[Tyler]

I'm thinking you guys would never know.

[Miles]

There would be signs.

[Ryan]

There would be signs. Yeah.

[Tyler]

I would get, I would get my truck tuned up a little bit. I wouldn't sell it and I wouldn't get a new one. I keep it.

[Ryan]

But like he would be shitty about the situation.

[Miles]

Yeah, he, Tyler would be the worst person to win the lottery because he just wouldn't know how to use it.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I, I, you wouldn't know how I use it because I wouldn't say anything.

[Ryan]

We would though, because you'd have to use it on something.

[Tyler]

I don't have to. It's my money.

[Ryan]

So what are you gonna do with it?

[Miles]

So you know. But yeah, anyways.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Pay for future Generation my kids college would be paid off. You'd never have to know that.

[Miles]

It'd be a bunch of million dollars and you're only paying for your kids college.

[Ryan]

I mean you have 800.

[Miles]

All right, 890. So there's. Yeah. So even if he goes to a really nice school, that is like 120 grand. So you have about 9,898 million left. 99 million left.

[Tyler]

You didn't let me finish. And then I was going to say and then continue to take care of the next generations over and over and over.

[Miles]

But what kind of taking care of like they don't ever have to work in. Because you are smart with the lottery winnings. You if you set it up right, you'd like you and the next five generations don't have to do anything ever again.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I believe in working though. So it would have to be some sort of situation where they'd have to earn the money, but each one of them would have it available to them in some way, shape or form. But they got to earn it. They can't just be deadbeats that just. How do you ride grandpa's money forever?

[Miles]

How do you earn it?

[Tyler]

They would have to have, they would have to be in like a full time job. They would have to be doing. I don't know, I'd come up with it when I win the lottery. But they can't just sit there and just collect paychecks from grandpa. But it's against the rules.

[Miles]

But, but it's a little bit like you work so that someday you don't have to. But they don't have to work if.

[Tyler]

They want grandpa's money, they do.

[Miles]

So basically you. So basically there's no advantage to you winning the lottery, you and your family.

[Tyler]

I would buy some land for sure. I would. I'd just be pretty chill about it.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

All right.

[Miles]

See I think I go the exact opposite. I think I immediately run to oh, you Betcha, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, whatever. And I just announce that I have won the lottery.

[Tyler]

And then what?

[Miles]

And then I tell them my plan. I'd say I'm putting all most of this money into the S&P 500.

[Tyler]

And then everyone else would invest in it. Right. Because of you.

[Miles]

Is that how that works in the S P500?

[Tyler]

Yeah, just putting more money in it. Help everybody else that already has money in it.

[Jared]

Rising boat lifts all tides.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It would temporarily inflate the price of it. Right. I don't. Fuck.

[Jared]

You can rug. Pull them quick.

[Ryan]

You could rug. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Put it all in fucking Ryan coin.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Could you? Yep.

[Miles]

Yeah, I. I would. I would first put it all in there and then announce that that's. That's what I did. And then hopefully more people buy it because it's an index fund, so it's not, like, necess. Yeah, I don't. It's more about. It's a collection of stocks, so all people would have to buy anyways. So now I got my money working for me.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

You know, so that's first I get that money in the. You know, it wouldn't all be in the S P500. You gotta, you know, diversify your portfolio. But then I just start a new content page, and it's just me doing you money things. Right. So it's like, all right, this is what I'm gonna. This is the day in the life of a guy who just won $900 million. And it's just like me playing video games and eating caviar with. With easy cheese, you know, just whatever the. I want.

[Jared]

Wearing Tom Bombs.

[Ryan]

Wearing a rolly.

[Miles]

Yeah. No, in reality, I would. I would probably definitely retire. I would probably buy a golf course, and I would golf every single day. If I'm being completely.

[Tyler]

Would it be a public course, or are you just buying one to have you own a golf course?

[Miles]

Probably would just buy it and it would just be my golf course. Yeah. Why not?

[Ryan]

Yeah. You hire ground screw. You'd hire. You. You'd hire a ground screw to work there every single day, keep the course maintained, and then you're the only one who can play there, plus buddies or whatever.

[Jared]

Yeah. Ryan could be the grounds.

[Miles]

Like, just think about it. If you put. If you invested $900 million and you had a 5% return year over year, every single year, you're making $45 million without doing anything.

[Tyler]

That is sick.

[Miles]

And I don't know if you guys have thought about it, but how difficult it would be to spend $45 million a year.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So you could spend $45 million every year and still not. And still have $900 million.

[Tyler]

There's a movie from like. Like the late 80s, early 90s.

[Jared]

Millions.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Where the dude has like 24 hours to spend. What is it, $10 million, something like that. Yeah, he has. He has 24 hours to spend $10 million. He can't give it away. He can't spend it all on one item. And you can't buy this. The same item more than once. And it's like him trying to spend that money, and it's like.

[Miles]

It's very hard.

[Tyler]

It's the whole movie.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's probably what I would do. And then I would. I would just like. Probably what I would do is for like my kids in the next generations, I'd probably. I wouldn't be like, you have to have a job. I would be like, you can get certain access to it to like start up something that you want to do. Like, you know, more entrepreneurial mindset than.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

It's like, I'll invest in your guys's ideas, but you got to pitch me a good idea.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I don't know, Shark.

[Jared]

Take us.

[Ryan]

You know. Yeah, I mean, I'd have. I'd have lawyers on the phone. I'd have wealth managers. I'd have Warren Buffett on the phone. Every. Every person. So that this money goes exactly where it needs to go. First place, my pocket. How much do you think I can fit in my pocket? Like a hundred thousand.

[Jared]

That's a big wallet.

[Ryan]

It's a big. I. I would need. I would need cargo.

[Tyler]

I need cargo pants.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I would have to have cargo pants. Why?

[Miles]

You have cash.

[Ryan]

Cash is sick. Cash is king. Yeah, we'd get all that dialed in, first 24 hours and then again, I. I would do the same. I would buy a golf course. My wife and I actually talked about this the other day.

[Miles]

Get your own dream.

[Jared]

Those copy me.

[Ryan]

I. Well, all debts of my own. My immediate family, probably even extended family. Gone. Pay that off. I would.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's. Your whole family is set.

[Ryan]

Cake. I'd probably buy like a hot million dollar sports car or something.

[Jared]

Nice.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Or like so sick original.

[Ryan]

Like a souped up truck or something like that. You guys would never know. I'd never drive it.

[Miles]

I don't know.

[Jared]

Just sitting in the gar.

[Miles]

I don't know if you could buy a million dollar truck. I don't think they make those.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I don't know. Maybe if it's like the Dukes of Hazzard truck or something that was in the original movie or also whatever.

[Miles]

All of the cars you could buy, you picked the one with the Confederate flag.

[Ryan]

I'm just thinking of iconic car. Batmobile. Maybe the original Batmobile.

[Tyler]

Yeah. You get a bidding war with Joe Burrow.

[Ryan]

Yeah, he bought the Batmobile. He didn't actually. Didn't end up buying.

[Tyler]

No. He missed out.

[Ryan]

Wasn't like it was over a million dollars. Well over a million it mill or something. I'd probably.

[Jared]

Gas mileage is probably really bad on that thing though.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

You don't want that.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's true.

[Tyler]

I would probably buy, like, batmobiles. Daily driver.

[Ryan]

I'd buy the land, like in a, like, like a two square mile radius of my house.

[Tyler]

All of it.

[Ryan]

All of it, yeah. Yep.

[Jared]

A compound.

[Ryan]

Yep. I probably buy a hunting ranch somewhere in like, Montana, Colorado. Somewhere in there. Again, you guys would never know, though. I'd never bring you out there. You'd never know I won the lottery.

[Jared]

You'd still work here, though.

[Ryan]

Why? Okay. My wife asked me this the other day. I think I would for. I would for a bit anyway, until I had.

[Miles]

You guys should not continue to work here.

[Jared]

Please don't work here.

[Miles]

I'm just like, do not just don't. You have $900 million?

[Ryan]

Stop working.

[Miles]

Miles.

[Tyler]

Miles fires us because we win the lottery and he has to pay us a severance even though he just won the lottery.

[Ryan]

I think you. I. I think you would need some sort of, like, normalcy, though. You need some sort of routine. That's where I'm at.

[Tyler]

I would go crazy if I didn't have work to do every day.

[Miles]

Yeah, Just golf every day. Just build sorts. Just.

[Ryan]

I'd probably have to retire my buddies too, just so I can golf. Golf with them.

[Miles]

Not a bad idea, actually.

[Ryan]

Retire the buddies. Golf with them. Sick. Would that be if your buddy retired you?

[Tyler]

Yeah, I don't. I don't know. You'd owe him for the rest of your Life.

[Ryan]

You got 900 million. I mean, it's just, it's pocket change.

[Tyler]

But if you retired me, I'd just be in your debt forever.

[Ryan]

That's fine. You'd go to your grave with debt looming over your head.

[Tyler]

It's just like any second the shoe drops and Ryan will cut me off.

[Miles]

That would be actually very hard because you'd have to, like, if you weren't doing anything all day, you would get like, obviously you can find stuff to do, but, like, if you just want to, like, do fun stuff, you then, like, need to find friends who are also retired.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Need, like, rich friends.

[Miles]

Yeah. It sucks.

[Tyler]

At 30 years old, our. Our pool is pretty small.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I don't know if I. I don't know if I would want to be in a group, like a friend group of like, super mega rich people.

[Jared]

Right. That would be tough, I think.

[Tyler]

I. I don't. I would obviously wouldn't retire any of my buddies, but I would be the. The guy to help them out of bad situations. Like if they're. Lose their house, bail them out of that.

[Ryan]

I would just. Like I would just spend in my entire savings account to try and lose my house. So then you'd help me out.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Jared]

I bet that happens.

[Tyler]

I'm sure it does. But they. Yeah, yeah. I kept coming.

[Ryan]

I think where people get trouble and get in trouble, like, just a small part of. Is like when they're making, like monthly payments for people, like whether that's mortgage or entourage. Yes. Yeah. So I think instead of doing that, everyone just gets a lump sum and that. That's what you get.

[Tyler]

That ain't a bad idea.

[Ryan]

So. But honestly, I don't know if I'd want to. Okay. This sounds stupid, but I don't know if I'd want to win the 1.8. I think I'd rather win like a. Like a couple hundred grand, like a ten million dollar lottery or something like that.

[Tyler]

I mean, I'd be pretty pumped with both.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah. But like, more money, more problems.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's. That's my whole thing about keeping it quiet.

[Jared]

No, he didn't.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Who said it? Biggie.

[Ryan]

Biggie said it.

[Miles]

I. No, I mean, I don't. I think winning the lot, like you're saying, like your whole life kind of goes down the.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Tyler, would you buy part of the Vikings?

[Tyler]

No.

[Miles]

It's actually, like. Because they say winning the lottery ruins people's lives. Right. For all sorts of things, and they always end up blowing the money because they. Just because they have more money doesn't mean they, like, psychologically know how to handle having more money. So probably the person that it would least ruin someone's life is someone who's like a billionaire already.

[Jared]

Yeah, probably.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's true.

[Miles]

Their life wouldn't change. It'd be fine and normal. Right.

[Tyler]

That's why I would do my best impersonation of someone without $900 million.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's like anything in the middle ends up going badly.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

But no, I would not buy the Vikings because then one of my favorite things in the world becomes my job.

[Miles]

That would be sick, though. Well, one, you can't. You can't afford the Vikings 900, but.

[Ryan]

Yeah, just part of it. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Packers I could be a part of. I could own the packers right now.

[Miles]

Yeah. But if in your mindset that's actually you, it's actually better to take a minority stake because you don't really have much of a say. But you get all the perks of being an owner, you know, just do whatever you want. But it's like in reality, you have no control. Not a Bad idea. Not a bad gig.

[Jared]

And the media doesn't come after you either.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

You're not Jerry Jones. You know.

[Jared]

I think I would go. I would have a steak dinner somewhere right away.

[Miles]

Nice Longhorn. You wouldn't just hire a chef Outback.

[Jared]

Not right. Right away. You can't. I need you right now to cook.

[Miles]

Your me Would be a power move.

[Ryan]

Head to head to the Outback. Get a blooming onion and nice steak.

[Jared]

Yep. Get the most expensive cocktail and steak in Long Island.

[Ryan]

Like, sir, how are you going to pay for this? This is a $58 cocktail.

[Jared]

You don't want to know. And then I probably call Dave Ramsey show and tell him I won the lottery.

[Miles]

That's great. Yeah.

[Jared]

Just kind of rub it in his face.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Jared]

And just tell him all the dumb stuff that I'm not gonna do.

[Ryan]

Yeah. But I'm still gonna run a credit card build up.

[Miles]

I'm not gonna pay off my credit card every month. Month, Dave.

[Ryan]

I'm just gonna let it run at 20% interest for maybe like four or five years just to around.

[Miles]

He's like, well, what's Your credit limit? $4,000.

[Jared]

To go do that. Then probably just donate the rest of PETA. Probably the rest I would do.

[Miles]

To PETA.

[Ryan]

That's.

[Tyler]

Jared, have you been quietly upset every time I talk about hunting for the last five years?

[Miles]

Yeah. If I'm being real, I think I buy lots of hunting land. I buy a golf course and then I probably open up like a venture capital firm and just have people try and pitch and then I just invest in their ideas. Or not.

[Jared]

Yeah, Air mail, some stuff like that. Ideas.

[Miles]

And then I probably would still do content, but it would just be like me just doing dumb.

[Tyler]

Zero pressure on any sort of performance.

[Miles]

Put whatever content I want out there.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I buy private jet too. You guys wouldn't know though, because I would have it llc.

[Tyler]

It's private. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It's not a public jet.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Be a big private jet.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Like a 20 seater.

[Jared]

I go bigger, but yeah.

[Ryan]

I just buy a Delta plane or whatever.

[Jared]

Yeah. An Airbus.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You guys wouldn't know, though. That's the thing.

[Miles]

All right. Should we take a break?

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

You know I told you that I got injured doing the Wiffle Ball World Series. My Achilles. So right now feels fine, but every single day when I wake up, it is tight as hell and I have to limp around for like a half hour in the morning until it gets loosened up up. Ever Since I turned 30 years old, I just. I Wake up with something that doesn't feel good.

[Tyler]

It. It makes no sense. This morning I woke up, I did feel good, but I immediately hop in the shower and I sneezed in the shower and now I can't lift my arms above my head. I.

[Ryan]

Something up in my back because I.

[Tyler]

Sneezed in the shower.

[Miles]

At 30 years old, you now you throw at your back by sneezing?

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Up.

[Tyler]

It's like I can't bend over. I can't like arch my back. I have to sit as perfectly straight as I can and I can't lift my right arm above my head.

[Miles]

Well, you just did.

[Tyler]

No, I can't go higher than this.

[Miles]

Let's see what happens.

[Tyler]

It just hurt. I can do it. It just hurts. Yeah, like right in the middle of my upper back.

[Miles]

You probably just bruised it.

[Tyler]

I could be. Or I have a broken spine. If Miles says it's a bruise, something's broken.

[Ryan]

You want me to want. You want. You want to get one up?

[Tyler]

What'd you do?

[Ryan]

I was. Clipped my fingernails the other day and like so like no, I was at home. So like my. I'm just looking down for I don't know, what, three minutes. And when I look up, my neck was a little bit stiff, so I kind of like stretched it back like this. Like a shooting pain straight down the back.

[Tyler]

Oh my God, dude.

[Ryan]

Like I was clipping my fingernails for three minutes and it's.

[Tyler]

It's not like. I know like for some people, when we get these types of energy injuries is because they're very. They live very sedentary lifestyles. Like it's. We're active people.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Like we're not. I'm not going to CrossFit or anything, but I don't just sit on my ass all day and eat potato chips.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Like, and for. For me to just sneeze and up my back and you to clip your nails up your neck. Makes no sense.

[Miles]

Well, and like this is at 30, right. What's it gonna be like when I'm 60?

[Ryan]

Great question.

[Miles]

How are we gonna be able to move? Like, I guess I'm starting to realize why my dad's so crabby all cuz his body hurts from just existing. There is the meme online that it's like me forgetting that I'm 30 and not 20 anymore. And it's like they jump off of like a chair and then it just immediately cuts to an ambulance.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Like a little, little audio visual meme for you.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I was pulling weeds in the yard the other Day. And instead of, like, just getting on a knee and just pulling that area, I just. I just bend down at the waist and I, like. I almost couldn't, like, straighten back up.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we can't be doing that anymore.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'll.

[Miles]

I'll just be in the kitchen. I'll turn. Turn around to, like, put something in the fridge, and my hip will just give way. Yeah, dude, I had a hip, and I never even had, like, a hip injury when I played sports. I don't know where that came from. I just got a. I got a kitchen injury, I got a fridge injury, a fringery injury, and a fringery.

[Jared]

You gotta do the Dak Prescott thing every morning.

[Miles]

I mean. Yeah, it's like, I have to stretch before I get out of bed now.

[Ryan]

I mean, dude, I. My. The wrist injury. I had a wrist brace on because I was raking, and it still hurts. Like, it. When I'm. When I go golfing, my first tee shot is, like, it is throbbing until I. If I take, you know, the first nine holes, it doesn't feel great. And then it starts to loosen up a little bit. But, yeah, it. It does not feel good.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's like we're. Once you turn 30, you start thinking about, like, what activities you can even do in the winter because your joints are going to be all terrible because it's cold out.

[Tyler]

Right. And the thing is, too, like, last night, I played football in the yard with my kids and was perfectly fine. And. But then it's the everyday that we're like, all right, how about you're going to hurt for a week now because you sneezed in the shower.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

It's like, our bodies don't make sense at this age.

[Jared]

Just don't shower them. You won't feel bad.

[Tyler]

Like, yeah, I'll start taking baths.

[Miles]

I mean, we got to start thinking about stuff like that at our age.

[Jared]

Those tubs that you have to, like, walk in and sit in for, like, old people.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

The long door.

[Miles]

I'm gonna have to install one. If I can't walk in the morning because of my Achilles tendon, I'm gonna have to install one of those chairs that go on the side of the stairs that instead of the railing, it goes. You know, you ride it down kind of like an elevator.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that'll be fun for you because you have those stairs that turn. So you get loopy loop almost.

[Miles]

Or I then got a switch to get two chairs. Switch.

[Ryan]

Yeah. We don't even have, like, when you turn 30, you don't even need to buy a rain gauge anymore because you just. You just feel when your joints hurt, it's like, oh, it's going to rain later.

[Miles]

I didn't know when I built my house that I should have built a slab on grade so I wouldn't have any stairs to go up and down.

[Ryan]

Exactly.

[Miles]

At 30, 32, I. I feel like.

[Ryan]

You know, you're getting old when you have to buy the chair for the shower.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you're old at that point.

[Miles]

You got a chair?

[Ryan]

No, I don't have a chair, but like, I don't. If you like.

[Miles]

Yeah, no, you. You know you're getting old when you're getting Instagram ads for chairs that go on the show.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And you're. And you. And you look at it and you pause for an extra couple seconds. Being like, that would be nice.

[Ryan]

That's not too bad. It's even got a back on it. You can. A recline button.

[Miles]

Yeah. Maybe you can just put a scrubber on the back of the seat and you just go like this and you got your back all cleaned off.

[Tyler]

At this point, we're almost just like a car wash for humans. Just. Just wheel my wheelchair through there. They'll scrub me up.

[Miles]

Not a bad idea.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

I never sit on, like, the little seat in the shower. Kind of grosses me out.

[Ryan]

You have a little seat in the shower?

[Jared]

Well, it's like a. It's like a built in plastic. I don't know how to describe it.

[Tyler]

I think that's for your soap.

[Jared]

But you like people. You can sit on it, though. It's like shaped for an ass.

[Miles]

Well, like, sometimes you'll be in a hotel that has like a ledge you can sit on, you know?

[Jared]

Yeah, I'm not sit on that either.

[Miles]

No. God, no.

[Ryan]

I'm gonna lay down in the shower before I sit down. I don't know why. That's just more appropriate in terms of just like, not accepting the health that you're in. But I'm gonna lay down.

[Tyler]

It reminds me of when Ryan said that he doesn't get out of the bathtub to. Until it's done draining. Yeah. You said you don't.

[Miles]

What do you mean? Did I say that? You know, you said.

[Ryan]

I remember the conversation, but why? I mean, you guys. You guys also totally blew that out of proportion. I don't. You said you gotta find my exact words because I'm.

[Tyler]

You said you don't get out of the tub till it's done draining. And then we were talking about how you like Standing there like the kid that threw up in the bathtub. Wait for it to drain, and then you're. Then he.

[Miles]

I said he looked like the part of Voldemort's soul laying on the ground at the end of the Harry Potter movie.

[Tyler]

Naked baby on the. On the. The tub as it drains.

[Miles]

But actually starting to think that's not a bad idea. Is less chances of slipping at our age.

[Ryan]

What, the chair?

[Miles]

No.

[Ryan]

Oh, laying down? Yeah.

[Miles]

No.

[Ryan]

Oh.

[Miles]

Letting the bathtub drain all the way.

[Ryan]

Sure.

[Tyler]

Yeah. You gotta. Not only just let it drain, you gotta let it dry off.

[Miles]

Let me finish my thought, an.

[Ryan]

Well, you looked at me like you wanted me to pile on that, so I, I just had to be clear what we're talking about.

[Jared]

We're just getting old and grumpy.

[Tyler]

Jared, how is your body holding up?

[Miles]

My.

[Jared]

My Achilles is actually getting tighter too, on my right one.

[Miles]

Why does that happen?

[Jared]

I don't know. And then like, when I was watching the Vikings last night, I just had like a pain in my back. It would go around every like 10 minutes. I don't know.

[Miles]

Yeah, like we're getting to the age now at 30 some years old. Like, you're starting to think about what shoes you're wearing.

[Tyler]

Like 100.

[Miles]

There's only certain shoes that I can wear for so long until I'm like, I gotta get something that's more comfortable.

[Tyler]

Am I gonna be on my feet more today? Well, I guess I better get the. The cushy shoes. Yeah.

[Miles]

100. I'm starting to get the dad shoe more and more. The new balance. Get it now?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You used to make fun of them, you know, now you're like, we're. We are them now.

[Tyler]

Right?

[Ryan]

When do we start taking, like, multivitamins daily?

[Tyler]

I feel like I should.

[Ryan]

Multivitamins are like joint supplements.

[Jared]

I feel like the vitamins don't work.

[Miles]

Feel like vitamins don't work. But you know that we're going to be crossing over a line as soon as we're all taking baby aspirin every single day.

[Tyler]

Better for your heart.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I think like, when I hit the point of like, okay, now, like, injuries and are starting to set in. I might just start taking steroids.

[Jared]

That's a good idea.

[Miles]

That's. That's a really good idea.

[Ryan]

It might shorten the lifespan, but it will make me feel better throughout.

[Miles]

Imagine Ryan's motivational moments on a roided up Ryan. Roided Ryan is what we'll call him.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you guys won't be able to come at Me for anything because I'll.

[Miles]

Roy, I think you'd write, I think you'd less want steroids. I think you'd want more like hgh.

[Ryan]

HGH stem cells, Maybe like, like monthly stem cell injections or like testosterone rather.

[Miles]

Than, you know, straight up steroids. I feel like.

[Jared]

I think you gotta go old school and take steroids.

[Ryan]

Well, like, baseball players are on hgh, but they just say they're on steroids. It's just. It's kind of like an overarching thing for performance enhancer.

[Jared]

It's the umbrella.

[Miles]

But HGH would be sick is like basically the whole thing is that you just recover really fast. So you would have thrown out your back in the shower and then 10 minutes, you fine, take a steroid pill.

[Tyler]

I'm. My back's perfectly fine. By the time I'm done drying off, toweling off.

[Jared]

Yeah, you should do it right?

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, it might take 30 years, but.

[Jared]

What do you mean?

[Miles]

What? Take what 30 years?

[Ryan]

Like, it might take my body 30 years to be like at the point where like, okay, this is now. It's just every single day I hurt now.

[Miles]

It's like you wasted all your good years when you could have been on steroids.

[Ryan]

But then I'll be able to prolong my.

[Miles]

And also 30 years from now, will your heart be able to handle steroids?

[Jared]

Well, that's where baby aspirin comes in.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's true.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Just switch the baby aspirin now in.

[Miles]

Preparation, you're gonna hammer these anabolic steroids. But if take a baby aspirin, you're good.

[Ryan]

It levels it out.

[Jared]

It's got like a magic pill.

[Ryan]

Yeah, my buddy, I had a buddy in college, he would like, we'd have like a night game and he, he was a rel. Like he was a relief pitcher. So he might not have even pitched till like 9:30 at night. So he would pop like half an addy before he would go in and pitch like right before. If he got called to the bullpen, boom, into his bag, pop up, happen at he. And then he would just smoke a fat joint before bed just to level himself out. It's. It's the give and take of, you know.

[Jared]

Imagine if you took steroids too.

[Ryan]

I know, I know.

[Jared]

That's.

[Miles]

Well, then we.

[Ryan]

They have to take us.

[Miles]

I thought you were gonna say he was on steroids. He was on your baseball team. I would be like, we need to blow the whistle and all. You have to forfeit all of your wins.

[Ryan]

No, I actually, he played it Every.

[Tyler]

Game he touched the ball. He's.

[Ryan]

I don't know us. I. I don't know a single person who has taken steroids.

[Tyler]

I know one.

[Ryan]

I. I've also never seen steroids in person.

[Jared]

I've never been in the same room as steroids.

[Ryan]

Correct. Yeah. Yeah, Yeah. I could be a steroid. I mean, I could be a steroid. Have you ever seen me in steroids in the same room together? I think so. I'm just a walking steroid.

[Miles]

Yeah. I think, like, one of my fears in life is to be an old person who can't move.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yep.

[Miles]

And I think the Achilles thing and all of that is it just. It stirs up one of my deepest fears, you know, like watching my dad limp around because, you know, he's needs new knees and stuff. You're like, I just. I don't want to be. I'd rather. I'd rather be Ryan's dad who runs ultra marathons. I don't want to run ultra marathons, but he can, you know.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I want to be able to move when I'm old. That's like all. All I care about. About.

[Tyler]

It's like the whole trapped in your own body situation.

[Ryan]

But it's. It's like, it's hard to do the preventative maintenance, like starting now, knowing that.

[Miles]

Yeah. Like a 30 year play.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So hard. What am I gonna stretch every day for 30 years?

[Jared]

I'll say we could all do more than yoga.

[Miles]

You could. Yeah. Turn into a corporate construction company and do a morning stretch.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It'd have to be a group thing.

[Tyler]

I think I. I think the exact opposite.

[Ryan]

It.

[Tyler]

I would rather die than do group yoga with you guys.

[Miles]

No, we don't do yoga. We can just stretch.

[Jared]

I think if stretches.

[Miles]

I think if we started stretching in the morning at this company, I think we would all be like, a little bit like, oh, this is so lame. And then like, after, like, two weeks, we'd be like, looking forward to the morning stretch.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Because. Because we're all 30 years old. We're like, this is actually pretty nice.

[Ryan]

We could pop on yoga with Adrian. 15.

[Miles]

No, but I don't want to break. I don't want to. I don't want to break a sweat, you know?

[Ryan]

No, no, we're not breaking a sweat. They're just. It's just like stretching.

[Tyler]

Adrian has yoga for everyone.

[Miles]

Yeah. But I. I'd rather do partner stretch, you know, I'd like to really open up Ryan's hips for him.

[Ryan]

If my hips are getting opened up Great. I don't care who's doing it as long as they're opening up.

[Miles]

Maybe like that's where we're at in life is we're even talking about potentially installing a morning stretch at a job where we sit at a desk all day. You know, like what? That's. That's what happens when you turn 30.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I just don't want to be old and not be able to move.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that would suck.

[Ryan]

So what do we do?

[Jared]

We about it?

[Tyler]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Take a baby aspirin, grumpy old man.

[Miles]

Take baby aspirin, steroids and have a good weekend.

[Jared]

A little more whiskey.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Wake up, take a shot of whiskey in the morning.

[Tyler]

That's what I should have done after the shower. I should have got up. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Something to numb the pain.

[Tyler]

Fill my coffee mug with a little Windsor.

[Jared]

That'd be nice.

[Miles]

Could have done Irish coffee.

[Tyler]

Could have.

[Miles]

But we only do that like once a year.

[Tyler]

Windsor. Windsor's Canadian. So it'd be a Canadian coffee.

[Ryan]

Little Canadian coffee. And smoke a fatty, uppers and downers right before work.

[Miles]

Drive to work. Don't do that.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah. I call us if I call in sick. That's what I'm doing.

[Jared]

You had a Canadian coffee this morning.

[Tyler]

Can't come in. Didn't know.

[Ryan]

Canadian coffee is just another word for a smoking a fatty or Windsor. That's Canadians coffee is just getting up.

[Miles]

And rolling a doink.

[Ryan]

Rolling a doinker sativa.

[Miles]

I feel like the amount of times Ryan's brought up rolling a. Rolling a doinker in the last four months.

[Ryan]

That's all my college buddies used to do. Rolled doinkies in the basement. There wasn't even egress windows in the basement. But guy lived down there. I was the one who took two spring breaks back to back. He wasn't ready to go back to class on Monday after spring break, after nine days of spring break. So he just decided to take another week of spring break.

[Jared]

Recovery week.

[Ryan]

Recovery week. Yeah. He had fucking doinkies.

[Miles]

Yeah. I had to decompress after spring break.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I fucking rip a dab ski and then play Call of Duty for the next eight hours. Like four in the morning.

[Jared]

It's the life.

[Ryan]

Yeah. He's the basement.

[Miles]

There was one guy who's a teacher that worked for my dad in the summer just for some extra cash. Cuz obviously it wasn't working. But then it was like two weeks before he had to go back to work. He stopped working with us. He said he needed two weeks to decompress smart from working with you guys.

[Tyler]

We gave him a lot of.

[Miles]

And then it became like, everything. You know, there was always an excuse, like, I don't know if I'm gonna be in on Monday. I need a day to decompress.

[Tyler]

This guy knew that you guys were gonna do this, so he made. Did the exact right thing by taking those two weeks off.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's true.

[Jared]

He wanted the end.

[Miles]

Yeah, I'm gonna need a couple months to decompress after the winter.

[Ryan]

Couple months I made to, like, June just to get over the winter.

[Jared]

That is my birthday.

[Ryan]

That's my birthday.

[Miles]

Yeah, it'd be like, you know, like Fourth of July week. You know, like, if it was on a Thursday, be like, well, I. I need.

[Tyler]

I need.

[Miles]

We take Wednesday off, decompress before the 4th of July, and then we need two days after that to decompress Monday, Tuesday, following week. So it's basically, I need a week off work.

[Ryan]

A lot of compressing on the 4th of July. So you need the time to decompress for every compressed day. You need six days to decompress, seven to 10 business days, seven to 10 biz days. And if that's over Labor Day, that doesn't count as a biz day, so.

[Tyler]

True.

[Jared]

It's a good point.

[Miles]

Oh, do you got anything else for us today, Jared?

[Jared]

I got one fun fact.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Jared]

The first recorded lottery was in China during the the Han dynasty, 205 to 187 BC. It was used to fund projects like the Great Wall. Tickets were called Kino slips, and the game is considered an ancestor of modern.

[Miles]

Kino still around to this day.

[Tyler]

You can play like the Kino that you could play in bars in Iowa and stuff.

[Jared]

Exactly.

[Miles]

Wonder how much you want.

[Jared]

I looked that up. They didn't really say. They said it was like, goods.

[Miles]

You would goods or services. Yeah, you get like a fucking steer or, you know, some food again, basket of rice, shit like that.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Kino Smith players would choose characters from a set of 80 Chinese symbols. Results were drawn and delivered across the region, sometimes using homing pigeons, which is why it was nicknamed the White Pigeon game.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Winners received prizes, goods, money.

[Miles]

Nice. See, we've always been gambling.

[Tyler]

Beginning of time.

[Miles]

I imagine that they were throwing rocks in the caves back in the day, you know? Yeah, just throw rocks, dude.

[Ryan]

Gambling is getting wild, though. Like, the casino straight south of here. You can just download the casino on your phone and just play Gamble from your phone.

[Miles]

Really?

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Tyler]

That's crazy.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Miles]

In North Dakota.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Tyler]

All right, good to know.

[Ryan]

Give Me that link money to hit the keto table.

[Jared]

Yeah. Why would anybody do that? That's weird.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

All right, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of you Bet yout Radio. Have a great week. Watch out for polls. We'll see you in the next one. Oh, you betcha. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jared]

Vinnie Colombo, would you rather unknowingly walk into a live spider web once a month or get chased by a wild goose twice a month? The goose will give up after one minute, but the chase will happen in front of at least five people.

[Tyler]

Spider.

[Miles]

Spider web. I walked into a spider web at the lake in my garage.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I think I walked into 4 or 5 this last weekend.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's not even that bad.

[Miles]

No. Plus, if I get bit by a spider, I might turn into spider Man.

[Tyler]

True.

[Miles]

So that one, that one's just not a very good one. I, you know, I, I, I appreciate the question. That one was so easy. It just kind of sucks.

[Tyler]

I'll be honest.

[Miles]

I feel like Vinnie, usually you bring more heat than that.

[Tyler]

Maybe Vinnie's just really scared of spiders. Yeah, because he just, he doubled down on the goose thing and, and made it two times in one month.

[Ryan]

Five people watching.

[Tyler]

I still would probably pick this spider.

[Miles]

Like 500 people. I'd be different.

[Tyler]

It's like, stop adding stuff. I already picked. Spider.

[Miles]

But then if you do the goose one, though, like, you could start.

[Tyler]

Start.

[Miles]

If you have, like, five people, 500 people watching, you could, like, people could start betting on it. On it, you know, fighting, and then.

[Tyler]

You could fix it. It.

[Miles]

100 could be lucrative. So it might be an option to choose that one, but we're gonna need to up the stakes. And how many people are watching? All right. Ryan, Tyler, Jared, Noah, Jake, Jake. Jake, come outside. It's time for the, the bimonthly goose chase.

[Ryan]

Last day of the month.

[Miles]

I need you guys to watch.

[Tyler]

It's going to be wild, this goose chase.

[Miles]

All right, start the clock. It's one minute. I would be sucking hind tit, though, if I had to run around for one minute, get chased by a goose.

[Tyler]

I think you just, just fight it for a minute.

[Ryan]

Okay, so I was going to ask that. What I don't understand is when people, like, get attacked by geese on golf courses.

[Tyler]

Like, weren't you there when I got attacked by that one?

[Ryan]

No, but why? I guess why are people running away?

[Tyler]

I didn't. I smacked the thing in the neck and I think I killed it.

[Ryan]

See, that's what I would, that's what I would do if something was If a goose is chasing me on a.

[Miles]

Golf course, you have a club in your hand.

[Tyler]

I had two.

[Ryan]

Why not?

[Miles]

You were a dual wheel.

[Tyler]

I was. I. I missed the green on a par three and so I had my wedge and my putter and it attacked me. And I hit it once and then it came back for more and I hit it really hard in the neck and it was like on the ground.

[Miles]

I just can't be an accessory to goose.

[Tyler]

Well, it was self defense.

[Ryan]

Oh, for sure.

[Tyler]

It came at me. I was just trying to hit my ball.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you have a right to defend yourself.

[Miles]

Goose died by 60 degree wet.

[Ryan]

Goose died by mallet putter.

[Jared]

Tyler said duck, duck.

[Ryan]

Duck, duck. Gray. Duck.

[Miles]

It's gray, Doc.

[Jared]

Pizza hut.

[Tyler]

Paul.

[Ryan]

Good one.

[Jared]

When no one is watching, how are you eating?

[Ryan]

Well, it's a domino dance.

[Miles]

Got it.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Well, I thought you were just so happy about it.

[Miles]

It's good.

[Tyler]

I'm glad.

[Ryan]

This is new. Yeah, it could be a new new member.

[Jared]

When no one is watching, how are you eating your spaghetti? Are you spooling it on your fork for neat bites or are you shoving it and slurping and getting your face all saucy?

[Ryan]

The latter. Dude.

[Miles]

I'm gonna be honest. Yeah. I'm trying to think of how I eat it in front of people.

[Tyler]

I guess I. I go twirl it up and try to have a clean, easy bite in front of.

[Miles]

I feel like I go back and forth. I feel like in one. Spaghetti session. Spaghetti session. Great band name.

[Tyler]

Also your list, Monica.

[Miles]

Spaghetti session. I'll twirl. I'll probably start twirling it. And then by the end, I'm just. Just going straight for. Just like scooping it right in the mouth and going.

[Tyler]

So I don't. I don't actually even slurp. I just, like, get as much in my mouth and I can. I bite and all the stuff that's not my mouth just falls back in the bowl. That's what I do at home.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, I've done that.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Eat spaghetti like no one's watching.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

How do you guys eat bananas when you're at home alone?

[Tyler]

I don't even peel them. I just shove the whole thing down to the back of my throat. I swallow all.

[Miles]

I like to eat.

[Tyler]

That's what he wanted, so I gave.

[Miles]

I like to eat my bananas like I eat my corn on the cobs, straight in and then teeth down on it and then scrape off a piece.

[Ryan]

Okay, so you are. You're dragging teeth.

[Miles]

Yeah, I'm dragging teacher.

[Tyler]

Great. Bad D.

[Miles]

But it would be, you know, dragon. Like D, R O D R A G, O N. Dragon. Sure.

[Jared]

Animal.

[Ryan]

Dragon teeth.

[Jared]

Game of Thrones.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

What will we how you eat a banana? Oh, Ann has a bit. Every time I eat a banana at home, she video snapshot. So now every time I take a bite, I have to turn away from her and then turn back around.

[Tyler]

She's just trying to figure out why you do this every time.

[Miles]

Yeah, well. Yeah. What I do with my banana is none of her and all of her Snapchat at friends. You know, business.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Guys, if you want more, you bet your radio you gotta check out our Patreon. You gotta go to patreon.com you bets radio or look us up on the app. And we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you gotta check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.