Millennials Are Becoming Their Parents 🎙 #361

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Millennials Are Becoming Their Parents"

You Betcha Radio, Episode #361 — January 21, 2026
Hosts: Myles ("You Betcha Guy"), Ryan, Tyler, Barry, Jared

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Overview

In this episode, the You Betcha gang leans hard into their signature Midwestern humor, swapping stories about Midwest winters, nostalgia, parenting, and the many ways millennials are morphing into their parents. The crew spins out on relatable stories—from HVAC woes and childhood traditions to “back in my day” one-liners, changing technology, and the odd quirks of adulthood. Mixed in are plenty of laughs, self-deprecating observations, and that classic camaraderie, making this episode both a reflection on generational quirks and a loving roast session of themselves.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. HVAC Woes and Midwest Winter Reality

• Tyler returns from a trip to find the office freezing cold (~48°F), launching a saga of failed furnace troubleshooting (00:00–08:45).
  • The group’s attempts to repair the heat themselves only results in a comical sequence of roof climbing and thermostat flipping.
  • Their original HVAC company shut down (suggested by the tech that “our building broke them”), so they meet their new HVAC guy—who wins them over with relatable metaphors and a better attitude.
  • Quote (07:12, Tyler): “When have you ever bought a car that doesn’t have at least one recall on it?”
  • They riff on winter “protocols,” joking about haystacks for soft rooftop landings—“If Assassin’s Creed taught me anything, you could jump from any height as long as there’s something resembling a haystack.” (05:56, Barry)

2. Patreon Shoutouts and Podcast Burnout

• They mention a "Fact Off" in their paid Patreon content, poking fun at Jake—a divisive but loved podcast regular—and the toll of recording multiple podcasts back-to-back (09:02–10:42).

3. "Back in My Day..."—Millennial Nostalgia

• The guys riff on what their “back in my day”-isms will be as parents (12:27–22:57).
  • The pandemic as a badge of honor, learning cursive, the struggle of early internet—downloading music, getting viruses, and MSN Messenger.
  • “Back in my day, if you wanted to listen to music, you had to first illegally download it and then put it on your mp3 player.” (14:07, Tyler)
  • Old-school porn access (“the family computer room,” “nudie mags from the gas station”).
  • TV nostalgia—waiting a week for cartoons, puzzlement over today’s binge-watching.
  • Style throwbacks—long basketball shorts, yoga pants that were for yoga, plaid and cargo shorts (24:01–24:43).

4. Millennial Traditions and Generational Culture

• Running jokes about “traditions” versus “weird habits”—from eating breath mints in grade school to goofy college stories and hacky sack gambling.
• “Back in my day, AI was Allen Iverson.” (21:28, Jared)

5. Public Displays of Affection (Midwestern Style)

• Tyler shares his discomfort with PDA, attributing it to Midwestern upbringing and his parents’ stoicism (30:25–33:00).
  • “My preferred amount of touch with my wife in public is about zero” (30:25, Tyler)
• They discuss how awkward lap-sitting, kissing, and even using pet names feels.
• The gang elaborates on the Midwest tradition of stoicism, joking about strategizing even the smallest show of affection in public.

6. Childhood, School Days, and Suburban Rituals

• Remembering odd grade levels like "Junior First" (27:39–28:12), the stigma of being held back, and the unspoken rules of childhood social life.
• Hacky Sack tournaments, “step it off” DIY measurements, cleaning out mysterious icebreaker tins full of quarters (24:51–25:35).

7. Quirks of Adulthood and “Traditions”

• The group entertains listener-submitted quirks, ruling which are “weird” or “tradition”:
  • Eating peanut shells (68:38, “weird”)
  • Dipping pickles in mashed potatoes (69:23, verdict: “not weird,” actually kinda genius)
  • Face/groin trimmer sharing (87:00, “out of necessity…post-shower, probably fine”)
  • Eating groceries before paying (“makes grocery shopping fun again,” 84:44)
  • Play-by-play out loud solo sports broadcasting (“a little weird, but do you, man,” 87:49)
  • Accidentally finding your grandma attractive in an old photo (“definitely weird, but honest mistake,” 89:44)
• The hosts stress that long-term quirks sometimes morph into “tradition”—which is how millennials explain things away the same as their parents.

8. Kids, Bedtime Stories, and Parenting Hacks

• Ryan laments making up creative bedtime stories, instead resorting to telling plots of Disney movies and passing them as his own (59:55–60:27).
  • They joke about AI (ChatGPT) scripting bedtime stories.
  • Negotiating how many books to read, trading short stories for long ones, and kids setting the terms.

9. Rent-A-Hero: New Business Ideas for Millennial Parents

• The crew brainstorms a business ("Fargo Rent a Hero")—hiring costumed superheroes for kids’ birthday parties, lamenting the lack of options in their town (52:06–57:46).
• They envision elaborate packages: the Avengers, Batmobile add-ons, even hiring bodybuilder Hulks.
• Tyler: “I’m never ever dressing up like a superhero for my kid’s birthday party.” (54:14)
• They note kids don’t care if Spiderman has a less-than-athletic build.

10. Tech Nostalgia and Future Daydreams

• Wistful about technology: smart contacts, holographic phones (93:01–94:10), VR bedtime stories, built-in projectors, and even phones as defensive weapons.
• But they conclude that smartphones are mostly “done” in terms of true innovation—just smaller bezels and more camera lenses.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Back in my day, if you wanted to listen to music, you had to first illegally download it and then put it on your mp3 player.” – Tyler (14:07)
• “I have enough grit to be able to get off the roof.” – Tyler, on surviving Midwest winter HVAC repairs (05:41)
• “My preferred amount of touch with my wife in public is about zero. Not that I won’t, but I really have to think about it.” – Tyler (30:25)
• “If Assassin’s Creed taught me anything is you could jump from any height as long as there’s something resembling a haystack.” – Barry (05:56)
• “Back in my day, AI was Allen Iverson.” – Jared (21:28)
• “Once you do it once, it feels so good.” – Tyler, on eating groceries before paying for them (84:44)
• “If you had known it was your grandma before you said that, I think that’s definitely weird… honest mistake, though.” – Barry (90:27)
• “If that's autism, I want it.” – Tyler, on hyper-detailed microwave and chicken cooking rituals (73:32)
• “Tradition: Something you do for so long, it becomes normal.” – Tyler (71:07)
• “Why use more words when few words do trick?” – Ryan, on bedtime stories (61:33)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–08:45 — HVAC saga and Midwest winter stories
• 09:02–10:42 — Patreon/Fact Off content, Jake jokes
• 12:27–22:57 — “Back in my day…” millennial nostalgia
• 24:01–24:43 — Plaid, cargo shorts, and fashion trends
• 30:25–33:00 — Public display of affection, Midwest approach
• 52:06–57:46 — Rent-A-Hero business idea
• 59:55–60:27 — Parenting hacks, bedtime stories, ChatGPT
• 67:14–91:33 — “Weird or Not Weird” traditions/quirks segment
• 93:01–94:10 — Dream tech and future phone brainstorming

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Overall Tone and Takeaway

This episode is an ode to the quirks of growing up millennial in the Midwest—equal parts nostalgic and irreverent, with the hosts roasting themselves and their generation. Whether it’s inventing traditions, avoiding emotion in public, or coping with adulthood via weird food habits, the guys highlight how “becoming your parents” means inheriting—and justifying—a laundry list of endearing oddities.

For listeners, the show’s tone stays true to its “Midwest guy” roots: friendly, self-effacing, and inviting everyone in for a laugh at shared generational pains and pleasures.

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Want More?
Catch all their Patreon-exclusive content at patreon.com/youbetcharadio — just don’t expect plain old stories. You’ll get Midwest-guy weirdness, every time.

Transcript

[Tyler]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the you bet your radio podcast. The boys are back. Just spent a week in Milwaukee. You know what? I came back to this last week.

[Barry]

What?

[Tyler]

More H Vac blues? Oh, no. So I get back, we're going to have some friends over to the office playing the sim and stuff. And normally in the warehouse, it's like, you know, 65 degrees cooler. Keep it up. You know, it's cooler than what you maybe keep your house. Some people keep it there, whatever. So I was like, hey, guys, bring an extra layer. You know, the kids are coming. They're going to bring them a sweatshirt, whatever. I show up, it is 50°. One of the thermostats said 48° in the warehouse. I'm like, well, good thing I told him to bring an extra layer.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's like good springtime weather.

[Tyler]

So then I start messing with it. Of course, I'm like, oh, God. So I'm up on the roof. It's negative five out. I'm turning the machines on and off, you know, just trying. I get one to turn on.

[Barry]

So which.

[Tyler]

That's actually pretty good. One of the five. Which, hey, 20% hit, right? You know, batting.200 keeps you in the major leagues, right? So that was that. I texted Ryan, like, did they tell us anything we could do so we don't have to call these guys again? There's got to be something. And Ryan's like, I don't know, just flip the switch on the thing is.

[Barry]

What they told me.

[Tyler]

So I'm up there just like, over and over. So they say, all right, I'll call them, because it's clearly not working, and it's gonna be negative 30 on Friday. Ryan, I want you to read the text message that you got from the. So we texted our H Vac guy, and this was the response.

[Ryan]

He said, we have shut down all operations in October 2025. I would suggest this other company.

[Tyler]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan]

I'm like, hey, I got an H Vac guy. I. I typically have a guy for just about everything. Or I can. I can get a guy pretty quick.

[Tyler]

So our building, I think, broke. This H Vac company.

[Barry]

We.

[Tyler]

They literally shut down operations. Like, we can't come back to that place. We' sick of it. I'd rather just shut the company down than go back to that place and work on their H vac.

[Ryan]

Well, and I. I guess a little background on. On the company. Like, the dad wanted to pass the. The plan was to pass the company down to his son, pass the torch and then, like, this is all, like, set in stone kind of. And then I guess one day his son was just like, I. I don't want to take this over. So he might have just come here and be like, I'm not doing that. I'm not going up. I'm not going up on rooftops to fix rooftop units in negative 20.

[Barry]

Yeah. You looked at recent transaction history, and it was just all, you bet you.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we were, like, we were close to putting them on retainer. Like, let's just get him. Let's just get him on the payroll because we probably save money.

[Tyler]

So. Yeah, we got a new H Vac guy. He came, he got him rolling. One of them he wasn't able to get rolling because he said just the thing went bad, the one of the parts, so he's got to order the part. And I talked to him and he's like, honestly, dude, you live in Fara, North Dakota, with nothing to block wind, and it is negative 10 out. Like, shit's just gonna go bad.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I'm like, okay, well, yes, you're right.

[Barry]

I did.

[Tyler]

I did choose to live here. You know, I could have moved away, but I stayed.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So we're figuring that out. But just. Yeah. Honestly, though, new H vac guy, much better attitude.

[Ryan]

I got a good. I have a good feeling.

[Tyler]

We have a great feeling. We have a feeling like our H vac woes and blues are coming to an end with this new guy. I would trust him. I trust him.

[Ryan]

I do, too. I did forget to tell you yesterday, and I was going to bring it up in conversation while you were standing there, but I asked him, I said. I said, you know, last time we changed air filters was probably in August. August. Tyler, was it something like that?

[Tyler]

So, yeah, we are a little behind.

[Ryan]

I was like, how they looking? He's like, actually, the. The filters are looking pretty good. And I'm like, let's fucking go.

[Barry]

So there was never the filter's fault.

[Ryan]

Let's fucking go.

[Tyler]

Regardless, we do need to change them.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we do. Yeah. Once it gets a little bit nicer out. But they look good.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I'm not gonna. I might go up there Friday, negative 30.

[Ryan]

Don't.

[Barry]

Make sure you prop the door open so the wind doesn't blow the roof hatch shut on you.

[Tyler]

I. I would just call the fire department.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I'd be like, bring your ladder. Get me down from here. I'm gonna die.

[Jared]

What if you didn't have your phone? What would you do?

[Barry]

Oh, what else could you do? You can't jump off.

[Ryan]

You're.

[Barry]

It's either wow for help or die.

[Ryan]

You can hear people walking up on the roof. Like, I could. I could hear him walking. Friday.

[Barry]

Friday, we're not here.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

I mean, it would be bad. It would be bad. I'd probably hunker. I. Well, so one of the H vac units on. So I would just go huddle next to the hot air coming out of it.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

There is a pretty big drift. Well, I guess there's a pergola over top of the patio. I was gonna say that. A huge drift.

[Jared]

Yeah, you could maybe.

[Tyler]

That's what I'm doing. I'm dropping down to the pergola. It's only, what, about 15ft, maybe?

[Ryan]

Yeah, probably.

[Tyler]

But then you hang from the thing, and then your feet's. Now you're only about eight feet up. Yeah, I'm. I'm maybe risking a twisted ankle at that point.

[Barry]

Make sure both feet don't just fit in between the slats on the pergola. Just slice my legs off or just delete your nuts.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I mean, I could also just parkour down.

[Barry]

You could.

[Tyler]

You know, I would. I would. I have enough grit to be able to get off the roof.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Ryan]

And it tells me the wind typically blows the garbage can open, too, so. And it's pretty full.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Jump in the gcan.

[Tyler]

Parkour.

[Barry]

Yeah. If Assassin's Creed taught me anything is you could jump from any height as long as there's something resembling a haystack.

[Tyler]

Down there, for sure.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Jared]

So we need haystacks out there.

[Tyler]

We should. That should be our winter protocol. Just laying haystacks around the building just in case. Yeah, well, changing the airfield filters.

[Barry]

You only need, like, three feet of hay in a tiny wagon, and you'll be fine.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we do got that on the one side. We got that extendable ladder that probably extends out to, like, 25ft.

[Barry]

Perfect.

[Ryan]

The only thing. The only issue is laying out, so if we could just prop it up.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

But that thing's been there for about two and a half years. I think it's ours now for sure.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I mean, come on.

[Jared]

It's ours, so.

[Tyler]

So, yeah, we're working on it. And I think, though, the way the guy was talking, that, like, now, you know, he whipped out a great line on us, and I was like, you know what? I. I like this guy, and that was good. You kind of checkmated us a little bit. He said, shut up. Basically. Yeah. No, he said, when have you ever bought a car? That doesn't have at least one recall on it.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tyler]

I was like, God, that's a great dude.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Tyler]

It's a great point.

[Barry]

You like. I have bought a car, though, that if I don't change the air filter every two months, it doesn't explode on me.

[Tyler]

Yeah. So I'm. I'm really vibing with this new guy.

[Ryan]

I am, too. Shut up.

[Tyler]

He's like a guy that, like, he's. He's the guy that everyone knows at your local bar. I feel like that's friends with everyone.

[Jared]

He's a cool guy.

[Tyler]

I got.

[Ryan]

Yeah, well, he's a service manager, too. He said he's more of an office jockey now. And he's. Because he's a service manager. But he's coming over to our place because he wants to get us. Right.

[Barry]

There's rumblings in the H Vac world what the. What a puzzle this building is. So he's like. He was up for the challenge. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, they could write a. They like, this will be in H Vac textbooks at trade school.

[Jared]

H Vac Weekly.

[Ryan]

Yeah, H Vac Weekly.

[Barry]

Like H Vac. Lawyers will be pulling this case as an example.

[Ryan]

Correct. Yeah. Hvac. Yeah. The state of North Dakota versus You betcha's. H Vac.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

Yeah. Be singing songs about this.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

It's like. It's like the Edmunds Fitzgerald and then like H Vac on our building. It's right there.

[Ryan]

And then disaster.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Well, Boston last disaster is probably.

[Barry]

There's no songs about it yet.

[Tyler]

Yeah. We gotta work on that stickier. So. Yeah, that's what I came back to. It's always fun, but again, high hopes. I think that these woes are behind us. Feel like we're famous last words.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

No, there's just. I don't. Yeah, I would say it's going to be at least another once. This guy, once he gets that unit up to. Up to speed, it's going to be at least a year before. Okay, we have to talk.

[Ryan]

Mark it on the calendar.

[Tyler]

Mark it on the calendar. So, yeah. Good week. You guys missed out on a great Patreon. So if you guys are listening, you gotta go check out last week's Patreon.

[Ryan]

Who was it? You, Jared and Jake.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Our fourth ever fact off.

[Tyler]

So was it. Yeah.

[Jared]

You gotta tune in.

[Barry]

Did you win?

[Jared]

Jared, you gotta tune in.

[Tyler]

You gotta tune in.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'll get that email later.

[Barry]

What's the current record going into episode two to one?

[Tyler]

I'm winning against Jake and it's Always funny because every time Jake is on, it's always at the end of a bellied up week. Which at that point it's my seventh podcast in three days and so he gets me just a little. Little on edge usually. Probably kind of hungry.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Because it's after the last bellied up podcast, it's before dinner and I'm just like a little hangry, a little on edge. Pretty tired. And he just always ends up catching it on the chin.

[Jared]

A lot of mental sparring.

[Tyler]

We should probably do that on like the Sunday do. Belly it up next time after a meal.

[Barry]

I love reading the comments about Jake on Patreon. Is it is. It's probably 60, 40. Hate to love, but he does get some love. The one of them was just. Can we go back to the episodes without Jake?

[Tyler]

Mean Jar. He's literally on one episode like every six weeks.

[Jared]

Just a good little treat.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. Like you can't. You can't serve the entire platter right away.

[Jared]

Right.

[Ryan]

Every week.

[Jared]

You know, it's like you want caviar.

[Tyler]

Every once in a while.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. Jake's just a little appetizer every six weeks.

[Jared]

Exactly that.

[Ryan]

I'm not eating.

[Tyler]

Price picks will give you fifty dollars in lineups. When you play your first five dollar lineup, win or lose, you give fifty bucks in lineups. Use promo code YBR when you sign up today. I do know that we got a lineup coming in hot, you know, where. We only have so many weeks left in this NFL season 2 NFL is.

[Ryan]

The best time to play prize fix too.

[Tyler]

It is. And so if you have been putting it off all season long, you gotta download the prize picks app. So Jared, what do you got for your pick this week?

[Jared]

I got Drake. Made more than 0.5 interceptions and it is a red Devil.

[Tyler]

You devil.

[Jared]

I was surprised it was a Red Devil, but I think I'll throw at least one. I don't necessarily think I'll play bad.

[Barry]

I'm with you. I'm going Sam Darnold More than 236 and a half passing.

[Tyler]

Okay. I got Matthew Stafford More than 35 and a half pass attempts.

[Barry]

Okay, that's good.

[Tyler]

So my first pass attempt. This is my first attempt at pass attempts this season.

[Barry]

Dig.

[Ryan]

I got Jared stidham less than 187.5 pass yards.

[Tyler]

I almost fade you on that because you never know. Sean Payton might be getting that guy. Right?

[Barry]

Sean Payton did call him Stitty. And if he's got a nickname like Stitty, he might be good.

[Ryan]

Yeah. But I also feel like he's very memeable because earlier in the season, he's like, I know I'm a starting quarterback in the NFL, and now he's gonna get the chance to be a starting quarterback, and I think he's gonna fly.

[Barry]

Dude, that could. That would suck. That would.

[Ryan]

Look, I think it's gonna be a city. Yeah, it's gonna be a good meme come Monday morning. So.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's our lineup for the week. It's cool. So, guys, you should go download Price Picks. Only a few weeks in the NFL season left, and good luck. So over the weekend, I was also thinking about how. Because I. I saw the. There's a lot of tick tocks and reels on the Internet about, like, when we're old, our grandkids are going to be like, wait, you survived the COVID 19 pandemic? What was it like? And then we just make up about how difficult it was for us, you know, because we're. We're at the age where, like, symptoms weren't too bad, you know, like, it was much worse for younger and older people. So, you know, we're just gonna ham it up, you know, Like, I was in bed for weeks, and I had to fight through it and all this other stuff when in reality, I just, like, lost my smell.

[Barry]

I had a Darth Vader respirator on in my own home.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah. So it made me think about how the old. The old heads are always like, back in my. It's. You know, I had to walk up. Walk uphill both ways. But, like, our. We're not gonna necessarily be like that. We're gonna be much more, you know, realistic.

[Barry]

I'm sure.

[Tyler]

Yes.

[Jared]

Yeah. I had to take a lime scooter to school five miles away.

[Ryan]

Yeah. That my dad's credit card paid for.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Like, back in my day, we had to learn cursive for no reason whatsoever.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

It's gonna be. We're gonna. We had it tough.

[Barry]

We did.

[Tyler]

We had it tough.

[Barry]

Back in my day, if you wanted to slide into dms, it had to be on MSN messenger and your mom.

[Tyler]

Couldn'T be on the phone.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You know, back in my day, if you wanted to listen to music, you had to first illegally download it and then put it on your MP3 player.

[Barry]

And give your whole family's computer a virus from Limewire.

[Tyler]

And on that same computer, if you wanted to. I mean, back in my day, if you. Back in my day, if you wanted to watch porn, you had to do it in the Family computer room.

[Barry]

Well, even, which is usually in the living room. And even.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you could only do it in the summer when your mom was at work.

[Barry]

And believe it or not, I was alive before the hub. And we had to go buy nudie.

[Tyler]

Mags from the gas station back in my day.

[Ryan]

Back in my day, whenever we buy a nudie mag, it usually came with a CD that we then had to put into the family computer.

[Jared]

Back in my day, an app was something you ate before the entree.

[Tyler]

God damn it.

[Ryan]

Back in my day, yoga pants were actually getting banned in high schools.

[Tyler]

Well, no, yoga pants were actually for yoga. Yeah, back in my day, yoga pants were actually for yoga.

[Ryan]

Do you remember when. Do you remember when Devil's like.

[Tyler]

Do you remember when people used to do yoga and yoga pants?

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Now they don't even wear pants. They just wear yoga shorts.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I don't think I've seen somebody do yoga.

[Tyler]

You've never seen.

[Ryan]

You ever been to a yoga stew?

[Jared]

I don't think so.

[Tyler]

In college, we. I went to a couple yoga classes. Me and my buddy thought it'd be funny to do hot yoga. One time. Not funny. No funny at all.

[Barry]

It's freaking hard.

[Ryan]

It's hot.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's really hot.

[Jared]

Cold yoga.

[Tyler]

One of my buddies is an old lineman and so he had to like sit down and take a break in.

[Barry]

The middle of it.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Well, like the 60 year old woman next to you is just crushing, right? Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

It's always, dude, my wife, she's like, why don't you come do a solid core class? Like, just, I just want to show you how hard it is. And I'm like, I believe you that it's hard. I am just not built for a solid core class. Why don't you throw 225 in the bar, do some squats, this equivalent thing. Can't do it.

[Barry]

I went to solid core class with an X one time. It's pretty fucking hard.

[Tyler]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. It's like. Yeah.

[Jared]

And you guys broke up right after.

[Barry]

Not long after. Really? Yeah. I was embarrassed the whole time.

[Tyler]

I know. Why would I. I know that's gonna happen. Me. Why would I go do that? You know?

[Barry]

Right? It's like you just wouldn't. It's like, oh, this thing smells like. Here, smell it. Why? No, I don't want to do that. You said it smells like.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I think another funny one is like, back in the day, if you wanted to be famous, you used to have to suck off some Media executive. And now you can just suck off your boyfriend and get famous.

[Barry]

Back in my day, the only show a KARD was on had Ray J in it.

[Tyler]

The best comeback story ever.

[Ryan]

Kim and Ray J.

[Barry]

A Night in Paris was my favorite movie.

[Tyler]

Back in my day, going viral meant you took a trip to Vegas and came back with herpes.

[Barry]

It meant that. It meant that something didn't stay in Vegas.

[Ryan]

What happens in Vegas definitely does come back with you.

[Barry]

A little more light hearted. But back in my day, if you wanted to watch it, you watched an episode of Ninja Turtles and had to wait in a whole ass week for another one.

[Tyler]

That's true. That is true. Now you can just be. Now you can just be binging ninja. I mean now you could just watch Ninja Turtles all day long. Back in my day, you had to.

[Barry]

Wait like my kids were watching cartoons on YouTube TV, which is just cable again. And a different show came on after Bluey. They were like, what the is going on? Yeah, like, dad, why is it a different show now?

[Tyler]

That is true.

[Barry]

That's just how it is, buddy.

[Ryan]

Yeah, there's this thing called the TV Guide.

[Barry]

Yeah, you're gonna have to flip.

[Tyler]

Oh, dude, I forgot about the TV Guide. That's suck ass.

[Ryan]

Yeah, they still have it at hotels.

[Tyler]

And that's like, no, no, no way. But now you can scroll through. It's just like cable now. Like you can just still scroll through it.

[Barry]

Some hotels you still get the. The card of the piece of paper that shows you what channel or there's.

[Ryan]

A channel with the guide. It's just. It's slowly going up.

[Barry]

Yep. Channel two.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Barry]

Channel one is the welcome to the hotel. Two is the guide.

[Tyler]

I guess I'm staying in two fancier hotels these days. You guys staying in Super Eights?

[Ryan]

I was up in Winnipeg at Fort Gary.

[Tyler]

Yeah. They don't even have no TV. There's no TVs.

[Ryan]

They got flatties there.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Like 32 inchers. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Not bad. Color TV. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Back in. Back in my day, Six was afraid of Seven.

[Barry]

Why is that?

[Tyler]

I thought that was really clever. Good.

[Jared]

Back in my day, Tik Tok was a Kesha song.

[Tyler]

That's what I was going to say. Jared. We are on the same length these weeks.

[Ryan]

Tik Tok.

[Tyler]

Is that the song? Wake up in the morning feeling like.

[Barry]

P. Diddy that didn't she changes out in concert.

[Tyler]

What is it?

[Barry]

I can't remember. I'll Google it. Carry on.

[Ryan]

Ray J.

[Tyler]

Feeling like Bill Cosby.

[Ryan]

Feeling like Jesse Smollett. I don't know, I'm just. I just watched the documentary the other day. Top of mind. Oh.

[Barry]

She either says, feeling just like me or feeling like P. Diddy.

[Ryan]

I heard that one. What are they? Yeah.

[Tyler]

Oh, I bet the crowd goes nuts.

[Barry]

Absolutely ape for the Diddy Hate.

[Ryan]

Back in my day, our basketball shorts hung just below our knees. Not just below our knots, but if.

[Barry]

You go even further back, it was just below their knots.

[Ryan]

I know, I know.

[Jared]

They'll be.

[Ryan]

They'll be just below the knees again in, like, 10 years. Like, if you had shorts above the.

[Tyler]

Knees like I did, and I got made fun of for it.

[Ryan]

I know.

[Tyler]

Mostly because I got last pick on the shorts, and that was all the sizes that were left. Yeah, that's actually funny you bring that up because an pulled up a photo of her playing high school basketball this weekend, and she also had shorts past her knees. Like, it's insane to. To see women's basketball players with, like, the long shorts. Very funny.

[Jared]

It was fashionable.

[Barry]

It's such a terrible look.

[Tyler]

And it's gonna be back at this point for sure.

[Jared]

Back in my day, AI was known as Allen Iverson.

[Ryan]

That's good.

[Tyler]

He was the answer. Yeah, he was the real answer. Yeah. That's pretty funny. Yeah. See, this is gonna be great to tell our kids someday.

[Jared]

I do have. Back in my day, P. Diddy was cool.

[Tyler]

And Bill Cosby.

[Jared]

And Bill Cosby.

[Ryan]

Well, back in our day, it was pa. It was Puff Daddy.

[Tyler]

It was Puffy.

[Ryan]

Puffy.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Jared]

He changed his name, like, three, four times.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I know him.

[Barry]

And Snoop. Remember when Snoop was Snoop lion for a little bit?

[Tyler]

No, I don't remember that at all. Yeah, that's real.

[Barry]

Yeah, he was Snoop lying for, like, a year for a cup of coffee. Yep.

[Tyler]

I think Snoop Dogg's better.

[Barry]

Yeah, he went back to the right place.

[Tyler]

Was he trying to, like, be like, I'm more ferocious than a dog.

[Barry]

I don't know.

[Ryan]

Or what?

[Jared]

It could have been, like, a marketing thing too.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Jared]

He's promoting some product like Snoop Lion's Mane.

[Ryan]

Who knows? Some.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Dog's just doing side quests.

[Jared]

He loves money.

[Barry]

People aren't changing their names enough anymore.

[Tyler]

Yeah. What was Garth Brooks was Chris Gaines.

[Barry]

Was his emo rock alter ego. There's this one dude who's dedicated his whole life to making sure because Garth Brooks hates the Chris Gaines era and making sure that Garth never forgets it.

[Tyler]

Yeah. It should never die.

[Ryan]

Chips, brother.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Barry]

And then Metal World Peace.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

That was a good one, Prince.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Jared]

We didn't Change names.

[Tyler]

Do we get back to that?

[Barry]

Like, we need Justin Jefferson to change his name to Jettis.

[Ryan]

Officially Cassius Clay.

[Barry]

Yeah, that was for religious purposes.

[Jared]

Kareem.

[Ryan]

Yeah, Kareem.

[Tyler]

There you go.

[Barry]

Did he change his name?

[Jared]

Yeah, we talked about in the Patreon. His name was Lou Alcinder, and then he changed his name.

[Tyler]

What did I say his name was? I feel like I butchered his.

[Jared]

I don't think he did.

[Ryan]

Lu Al Cinder.

[Jared]

Lou Alcinder. Lou Alcinder.

[Tyler]

Al.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Lew the Wild Cinder.

[Barry]

It's a little teaser for the fact off.

[Jared]

Yeah, big old.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that did show up.

[Ryan]

You guys remember back in our day when plaid shorts were cool?

[Barry]

Yeah, dude.

[Ryan]

And cargo shorts.

[Barry]

Oh, yeah. I still have possible. Cargo shorts are gonna be back really soon, and I saved mine, so I'm gonna be set. I wear those at home on the weekends all the time.

[Jared]

We just don't need that many pockets anymore, though, because of the smartphone.

[Barry]

Wow. You got phone keys.

[Tyler]

Why do you need to haul that much freight?

[Ryan]

Pistol.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Pepper spray.

[Barry]

Yep.

[Jared]

Nice.

[Barry]

I got my brass. Knocks in one. I keep on chucks my collapsible defense baton in one of them.

[Ryan]

Throwing the throwing stars. I just found those the other other day, by the way.

[Tyler]

We should whip them out.

[Jared]

You want to keep that in your pocket. You might poke yourself.

[Ryan]

Cargo shorts, though. I mean, I feel like they're thick enough and there's. It's like they're going to be hanging out here.

[Tyler]

Ryan's got Kevlar cargo shorts. Great band name, Kevlar cargo shorts.

[Jared]

So the cargo shorts, they were like, for like your CD player to put in and shit like that?

[Barry]

No.

[Tyler]

Yeah, for anything.

[Barry]

Yeah, you could put anything in a pocket. Fit.

[Tyler]

I mean, I don't know about you guys, but do you guys always have like, kids in elementary school that would just have like Altoids and breath savers and icebreakers and they'd just be like walking around with them in their pocket and they should be just clanking around in there. What was the deal? Our kids still walking around with breath mints? I thought, why was that so such a big deal?

[Ryan]

I.

[Barry]

We were cleaning out my kids school backpack and we found a tin of Icebreakers and we're like, where the did he get these? It was full of quarters. So I don't know if he's running some side of like some sort of side hustle where he's getting quarters from somebody, but he has a mystery thing of icebreakers full of Cor.

[Tyler]

What did he say?

[Barry]

I haven't asked him yet. I have no idea.

[Tyler]

Call him up.

[Barry]

He had like six bucks in quarters in this icebreakers tin.

[Ryan]

You're gonna be headed to the car.

[Tyler]

Wash. Yeah, he might have been running a hacky sack tournament like I used to do. Could have been at recess. $2 buy in.

[Ryan]

Do you guys remember when Listerine strips came out?

[Barry]

Oh yeah.

[Ryan]

Whoever had Listerine strips was the plot.

[Barry]

And then Listerine just like. Yeah, they're not even about fresh breath anymore. Here's some mango flavored ones.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I just. It's like having fresh breath had a stranglehold on us there in elementary school. I don't know if you guys.

[Ryan]

Chicks, you know, because we actually had to talk to chicks back in holiday.

[Barry]

That's true.

[Tyler]

Back in my day you have to talk to chicks.

[Ryan]

Not. You didn't talk to chicks on that damn snatch chat.

[Tyler]

You say snatch chat?

[Ryan]

That's what the old people call it.

[Jared]

So completely different.

[Ryan]

That's what my father in law calls it.

[Barry]

Anyway, back in my day I had an ipod touch for Snapchat and a cell phone for text messages.

[Ryan]

Yeah, a pager.

[Tyler]

I think Snapchat came out when I was a freshman in college.

[Barry]

Really?

[Tyler]

No. Junior sophomore.

[Ryan]

We were like.

[Tyler]

I don't know about that.

[Barry]

I was.

[Ryan]

I remember downloading it in Mr. Frame's class.

[Barry]

I was 100 in high school when they came out. You guys are great above me.

[Ryan]

2011, 2112 graduated.

[Tyler]

Yeah, maybe I didn't to the party.

[Ryan]

I got held back a year.

[Tyler]

But.

[Barry]

Fourth grade, best three years of my life.

[Tyler]

Are they still holding people back?

[Ryan]

I don't know.

[Barry]

Gets pushed.

[Tyler]

I was going to say. I feel like in today's world you're just making it through regardless, which is I definitely I detrimental. Can I keep that from my kid? Like can I keep that information? Like hey, no matter what you do this year you're going through, it's like, I mean like, like can I sleep at night? Like keeping that information from my child.

[Barry]

You know, you don't have to do. Buddy. It's literally called no Child Left Behind.

[Ryan]

Did you guys have Junior First?

[Barry]

I don't know what that is.

[Ryan]

So like instead of like kids who weren't ready to go from kindergarten to first grade, instead of holding them back, they would send them to Jun 1st.

[Barry]

I don't know.

[Ryan]

So yeah, that was a kick in the like.

[Tyler]

Like Nickelodeon Jr. Basically diet first grade. Yeah, first grade. Light. So what grade are you in? I'm in first grade. Diesel.

[Barry]

Yeah, it's real.

[Tyler]

I'm in first grade. Heavy.

[Ryan]

And what's your name?

[Barry]

Why?

[Ryan]

My name's Diesel.

[Jared]

0.5 grade 0.75. Yeah, whatever, I guess.

[Ryan]

Great. Grade one and a half. We had Junior first, so.

[Barry]

But that only.

[Ryan]

That only bought you a year. If you were getting held back later, later on in your school career, you were getting held back.

[Tyler]

You really had to try to get held back, though. I feel like, oh, my gosh.

[Ryan]

So easy.

[Barry]

I graduated with one kid that was held back. He was in seventh grade. We were in sixth grade. And then he stayed, and then he. He was with us for the rest of the time. And it was like this thing you didn't talk about. I know. You're just like, what's up? Yeah. How you doing, man?

[Jared]

It's like a war veteran. You don't talk about the war.

[Barry]

So you've done this before, huh?

[Ryan]

If. Yeah, if you're just resourceful enough, you can just get all your work done by other people. Whether that's them giving you the answers or.

[Tyler]

It's similar to, like, when you have a cousin who brings her new boyfriend to Thanksgiving and they're making out in the corner and everyone just acts like they're not doing that type of thing.

[Barry]

Yeah, you just. Buddy. Buddy's in chemistry with you and you just act like he's been with you from the beginning.

[Tyler]

Yeah, 100%.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

That actually happened to our family this many years ago. But my cousin was dating a guy who worked at Best Buy, and then she would just sit on his lap and they would just make out during Thanksgiving.

[Barry]

That's so weird. Yeah.

[Tyler]

It just didn't exist, though. No one talked about it.

[Ryan]

I'm uncomfortable you telling that story.

[Tyler]

I'm uncomfortable telling that story.

[Ryan]

I can't. Was your dad there? Oh, yeah. What was he feeling?

[Barry]

Was her dad there?

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah. No.

[Jared]

This is.

[Tyler]

This is Thanksgiving, guys.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And it wasn't like completely sucking fate, you know, like they weren't playing tonsil hockey, but.

[Ryan]

Sure.

[Tyler]

You know, any.

[Barry]

Any amount of lap sitting in face kissing is unacceptable.

[Tyler]

It was tough. It was tough.

[Jared]

Even lap sitting goes a little too far. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Like, what if he's got gray sweatpants on?

[Tyler]

You know, Like, I get it if you're on, like a party bus and, like, it's jam packed.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You know?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Barry]

That's a different scenario.

[Tyler]

Just to be in the living room.

[Barry]

I don't even like it if there's any sort of other seating available, which. The floor was definitely an option in this case.

[Tyler]

My preferred amount of touch with my wife in public is about zero. It's kind of where I'm at. I don't know if that's just because I'm a Midwest guy or it's because that's how my parents were, but, yeah, it's. I definitely. Not that I won't touch Ann in public. I just. I really have to think about it. Like, if I were to put my arm around Anne, I have to be, like, consciously thinking about, like. Okay, it's fine. You have to be like, she's my wife, and we have a child together. This is totally socially acceptable for me to be doing this, you know? Yeah. You've been together New Year's Eve. You're like, do I give her a kiss or not? This is strange.

[Jared]

Bathroom about 11:59 to avoid the kids.

[Tyler]

Oh, I missed it. I got pissed. Well, let's just do it in the car on the ride home.

[Barry]

Yeah, we'll get it next year. Miles snapped off their wedding kiss early. He's like, stop. There's people watching.

[Tyler]

You know, like, forget holding hands. First of all, holding hands just sucks in general.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Hands always get clammy or sweaty or whatever.

[Ryan]

Or they fall. Figures. Fall asleep.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And sweats. And it's. And it's not because we don't love each other. It's because it's just inappropriate.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

It's just not your appropriate to, you know, brush elbows with your wife in public. Like, it's just too much pda.

[Ryan]

Like, when you. When you. When you guys transfer your child from one person, holding him to the other, it's like you kind of just have to, like, toss them up in the air.

[Barry]

I think the movie, you just set the kid on the ground, and then the other person comes and picks him up.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you just said, I go run to mom. Yeah, I mean, I'm. We're kind of. We have the relationship where. I wouldn't even, like, consider calling her, like. Like babe in public.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

That's too much pda.

[Barry]

I. I don't even like babe in private.

[Tyler]

No. Yeah.

[Ryan]

What about baby?

[Barry]

Couldn't be. Couldn't be more out on it.

[Tyler]

If she's not calling me daddy, then she's not calling me anything.

[Barry]

I think I'd rather go deaf than hear my wife call me daddy.

[Tyler]

Oh, my God. Public knowing, period. Anywhere.

[Barry]

Anywhere.

[Tyler]

Dude, now we're. Now we're not even talking about pda. We're just talking about. About da. We're just talking about displays of affection. That is a. That's crossing the line.

[Barry]

Yes.

[Tyler]

And I don't know if that means that I'm emotionally unavailable or what that's wrong about me, but that's just how I am.

[Barry]

If that's wrong, I don't want to be right.

[Tyler]

So. Yeah, yeah, that'll happen once in a while. What about you, Ryan? Are you guys sucking face in public?

[Ryan]

No, we're not sucking face in public, but I like, I'm like, we're not. Like, I'll put my arm around her or we'll hold hands in public in a public setting where we don't know anybody.

[Jared]

Bump into somebody. You know what the volume is.

[Tyler]

Oh, oh, yeah.

[Ryan]

No, that arm.

[Tyler]

I don't know what this. I don't know what this doing. Hold my hand.

[Ryan]

God, that's my wife.

[Barry]

Sorry, I don't know this lady.

[Ryan]

No, I like.

[Tyler]

I. Yeah, this lady totally just came on to me. I don't know what the you're doing.

[Ryan]

Okay, okay, Jared, let's say that. Let's say we're in the mall, okay?

[Tyler]

And we're like, what are you doing at the mall?

[Ryan]

That's a good question. I don't know, Black Friday shopping or something. And if we're walking by each other and, like, we stop to chat and my arm is around my wife, I'm taking that arm off. I. I won't. I'm not gonna put that uncomfortableness on.

[Tyler]

You, but I'm gonna disguise it as that. I'm gonna shake your hand end, you know? Yeah. If you're like this, you're like, oh, hey, how's it going, man? Yeah, yeah. And then it's maybe one of these after.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Crazy move to keep your arm and shake left handed. Yeah, that'd be a psychotic move.

[Tyler]

Like, could you imagine walking through Victoria's Secret with your wife?

[Barry]

No. I do the bit, though, every time we're in the mall. Like, we'll walk by Victoria's Secret and I'll pretend to get distracted.

[Jared]

That's good.

[Barry]

Yeah, he got that one from Grandpa Bazooka.

[Jared]

Just say that out loud.

[Barry]

In a couple years, it won't be me getting distracted. Be me, like, hitting my kid on the arm.

[Tyler]

Mannequin boobies. Look, look, look, look, look.

[Barry]

Girls. Undies.

[Jared]

Bark like a dog or something.

[Ryan]

As a teenage kid, I mean, that was the best store to go in with your buddies.

[Barry]

Yeah, I never. Yeah, we used to go to Spencer's and giggle at all the dildos.

[Ryan]

Yeah, Spencer.

[Jared]

It's like a R of passage teenager.

[Ryan]

When you're ready to pick up chicks, you'd head over Hollister before they stoplight party.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Barry]

Get a free cologne sample. Quick.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

For the party.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Abercrombie and fish. Get some Jake. Yeah.

[Jared]

Quick.

[Barry]

Do the Buckle challenge for shits and gigs.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

What's the Buckle challenge?

[Barry]

You guys try to walk to the back of the store, touch the wall and then get back to the front of the store without an employee bugging you. Impossible.

[Tyler]

Great tactics.

[Ryan]

Did you work there?

[Barry]

No, I did not work at Buckle.

[Tyler]

I think of anyone that who might have worked at Buckle in this podcast studio though is definitely Tyler.

[Barry]

Yeah, I've worked everywhere.

[Ryan]

Well, he worked just down the road or just down the hall.

[Barry]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Sunglasses couple stalls down.

[Barry]

I could see the Buckle from our. From the kiosk. Not from the in store location though.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Barry]

Sunglass hut didn't move in the mall. It's no longer my kiosk moved.

[Tyler]

Oh, it moved or it's gone?

[Barry]

It moved. It's now on the main drag. Probably a better real estate, honestly.

[Ryan]

Yeah, big time for them.

[Barry]

Incredibly close to the store location. So it's just like what's the point here? Sure. It's less than 100 yards from the store location.

[Tyler]

You step it off.

[Barry]

I eyeballed it.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Barry]

Ocular pat down of the distance.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

The passerbys, football field.

[Tyler]

Because also if, if there's one guy in this room that's gonna step it off, it's gonna be you.

[Barry]

I might, I might. I'm not gonna go.

[Tyler]

We're just not stepping off enough stuff.

[Ryan]

No, I, I 100 agree. Because I like if I'm gonna. Let's say I'm all like sighting my rifle in or if I'm gonna shoot bow, like I'm not bringing my rangefinder out there. I'm just gonna step it off one so easy.

[Barry]

I bring mine.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

But it's just one more thing guys gotta worry about. Yes, I'm gonna be wearing it. I'm gonna be wearing it in the stand. But why would I shoot with it and practice, you know? That's some baby.

[Jared]

It is baby.

[Ryan]

I mean I do you. I have the perfect one yard step. I know exactly. I know exactly the length of step I need to take for one yard.

[Jared]

I would love to test that out.

[Ryan]

Okay. Because here's what I do. I'll step it out and then I'll range find.

[Tyler]

Step it off.

[Ryan]

Step it off.

[Tyler]

We don't step out, we step off. Step off. What movie is that from?

[Ryan]

Step off. Don't say it.

[Jared]

It. I know.

[Ryan]

School of Rock.

[Tyler]

There you go. He gets that.

[Barry]

I think the Only thing I'm stepping off these days. Like beanbag boards.

[Tyler]

It's great thing to step off.

[Barry]

Yeah, that's about it.

[Tyler]

You know, like, maybe. Maybe your buddy just put in a new patio and you're like, God, how big is this thing? You step it off. But yeah, I'd say it's about 20ft.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So, yeah, maybe something like that.

[Barry]

Well.

[Tyler]

But yeah, it's a good step off. Feels great.

[Barry]

Especially when you get it right.

[Jared]

Unless you fall down, then it's bad.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And what's kind of funny is an observation that doesn't matter at all. But whenever you're stepping off, your buddy. Your buddy respects that and doesn't talk to you while you're stepping. I noticed that.

[Barry]

Or if he's your best friend, he says numbers out loud while you're trying to count in your head.

[Tyler]

Dude, that's a great way to test a relationship is how tight you guys are. If someone's stepping off, what happens.

[Ryan]

If.

[Barry]

He'S like 7, 14, 11, 6, 2. It's your best friend.

[Ryan]

Yeah, no, I agree.

[Barry]

If they're silent, good friend. If they're just talking normally and don't stop the conversation, piece of. They're not your friend at all.

[Ryan]

Step up challenge.

[Jared]

No.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Can you count correctly?

[Tyler]

Jared was saying that Tick Tock is just littered with people saying theory that they have a theory about something.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

This could be our new. This could be our new theory.

[Jared]

And everyone's a narcissist according to every theory. It seems like.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, if your husband falls asleep before you, he might be a closeted narcissist. Right.

[Barry]

Well, I'm good then.

[Tyler]

Yeah, if.

[Jared]

Yeah, if he orders food. Yeah.

[Tyler]

If your husband takes one bite of food before you, he's a closeted narcissist.

[Jared]

Exactly. Yeah. He orders food before you at the restaurant. To the waitress. He's a closeted narcissist.

[Barry]

Or I've just picked what I have and she's still looking at the menu for an hour and a half.

[Tyler]

That's what a narcissist.

[Barry]

That's true.

[Ryan]

That's very true.

[Tyler]

You just absolutely expose yourself as.

[Barry]

I'm not closeted, though. I just came out.

[Tyler]

That's true. Jared outed you?

[Barry]

Jared. I wasn't ready.

[Jared]

My bad. I apologize.

[Ryan]

It's okay.

[Tyler]

So, yeah, I gotta. I. I gotta start cooking up new theories. You know, we'll find some. I was thinking about how you can work a theory around the hookah. You know, the theory if. If someone doesn't try and help you set up the hookah, they're probably a closet, you know?

[Ryan]

Yeah. If someone doesn't change the hookah water before the next.

[Tyler]

If you're setting up a narcissist. If you're setting up a thing, Ikea furniture, and your buddy's not trying to help you over your shoulder, he's probably a closeted narcissist.

[Ryan]

Yeah, more than likely.

[Jared]

So it's my theory about that all. It's pretty meta.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

My theory, honestly, if you come up with theory. If you come up with a theory about someone being a closeted narcissist, you're probably a closeted narcissist.

[Barry]

I have a theory about people with theories.

[Jared]

Exactly.

[Ryan]

So that's a good point.

[Tyler]

All right. Should we take a break?

[Barry]

Yep.

[Tyler]

All right, guys, we got a new sponsor on this podcast. Let me just kick my feet up here.

[Ryan]

Get comfy.

[Tyler]

Ah, the folks over at Brunt, Are they Brunt Footwear or just Brunt?

[Barry]

I don't know, Brent.

[Ryan]

Workwear.

[Tyler]

Brunt Workwear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The folks over at Brunt Workwear said, you know what? We listen to you bet your radio. And that's just something we want to be a part of, as most people do. And so they sent us over some boots. So all the boys here are new boot goofing.

[Barry]

We've been new boot goofing for. For a hot minute here.

[Tyler]

And I know what you're thinking, Tyler. Wow, those boots are clean. No, it's because we just got them.

[Barry]

Okay, give me a moment.

[Tyler]

All right. You know, maybe we should talk to Brunt and say, like, hey, can they come. Can they come pre dirty?

[Barry]

We gotta earn it. We're gonna. We're gonna break them in.

[Tyler]

I think, like, I should leave a review and just be like, hey, these new Brunt boots are just too clean. I don't know if I like them.

[Ryan]

You just got to be. You got to be Brunt with them.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I should. I should be. I should be brought with them. What I like about Brunt is not only they got some nice boots. They're very comfortable. These babies are steel toe boots.

[Barry]

Nice.

[Tyler]

Which I'm excited to be sticking my toe in places they shouldn't be.

[Barry]

Hell, yeah.

[Tyler]

I'm not worried about it, though, because nothing's getting at these toes.

[Ryan]

Well, it's easier in the winter time, too, when you're kicking the tires, seeing if there's any, you know.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And then, like, my kid, I. I might just wear them around the house because my kids always leaving toys around oh, my.

[Barry]

Stubbing your toe left and right.

[Tyler]

Yeah. So I'm pretty excited about that. Plus, they also got all this work wear gear I'm wearing. Me and Ryan are both wearing the sweatshirts.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I've never. I've actually. I haven't been this comfy in this chair in a really long time. First time wearing the shoveling hoodie, though.

[Tyler]

Is that what it's called?

[Ryan]

Yeah. Hell yeah.

[Jared]

Looks great.

[Tyler]

So, guys, if you're looking for some new boots, you're looking for some workwear, you got to go to brunt.com. are they brunt.com Google search brunt. Go check out their stuff. They got some sweet stuff on there. We've been looking for a workwear brand to work with, and we're excited that Brunt has said, let's do it. And it's just been too long to be working without a workwear brand for sure. You know, it's time to work, so you guys gotta go check out their stuff. And. Yeah, we're back.

[Jared]

One of us.

[Tyler]

Ryan.

[Jared]

Whoops.

[Tyler]

Ryan, you said that you almost texted us last night.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'm gonna text you because I got a call from a college buddy. We'll call him. We'll call him. College buddy calls. And that can be a new. A new mini segment.

[Tyler]

College buddy calls. Okay, so last night you were just sitting on your couch and your college buddy called you.

[Ryan]

Yeah, the phone never rang, but he called and it got me thinking, and it was. No, no, no.

[Tyler]

Was he. What was he doing when he called you? He was. He.

[Ryan]

He wasn't doing anything, if that says anything.

[Tyler]

He was melted into the couch. Your college buddy was melted into the couch. Calls.

[Ryan]

You haven't talked to him in a while, and he just throws his question. I'm like, what are you. What's going on here? Very interesting, though, with it. We're talking sleep, right? I'm like, you got to go to sleep. You got to. To smoke a little bit more of that stuff. And so I got me thinking, why is sleep triggered by just shutting your eyelids? No, no, but hear me the out. Okay?

[Tyler]

Hear him the out.

[Ryan]

Yes, hear him out. You can, like, through. I don't know, you can get. I feel like you can get your body just as relaxed with your eyes open as you can with your eye while you're trying to go to sleep with your eyes closed. But you can't. You can't fall asleep with your eyes open. The catalyst here is just closing your eyelids.

[Jared]

Sure.

[Ryan]

So help me make that make sense.

[Tyler]

Well, you can't sleep with your eyes open. But so in order to fall asleep, they need to be closed.

[Ryan]

Why can't. Why can't you sleep with your eyes open?

[Barry]

I think some people can.

[Tyler]

Now, are we getting like, how technically we getting. Because, like, some people, when they fall asleep, their eyelids are just slightly open so you can, like, kind of see their eyes. You know, I think there's.

[Barry]

It's a thing that some people sleep with their eyes open. It's really bad for their eyes.

[Ryan]

Interesting.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I mean, they dry out.

[Ryan]

Anyone else?

[Barry]

Yes, some people. It's a condition called nocturnal Lego thalamus.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Barry]

And essentially they. They sleep with their eyes fully open. It causes dryness, infection, corneal ulcers, facial nerve issues. So it's bad.

[Ryan]

Okay, so it's more so just a body trigger telling us, like, hey, we don't want our eyes to dry out and get all this stuff. We gotta close them.

[Tyler]

Well, well, no, it's just that you.

[Barry]

Can'T sleep with them open unless you have this condition.

[Ryan]

Unless you have a condition.

[Tyler]

But it's bad.

[Barry]

It's like signal, you're shutting your eyes. Signals to your brain. Okay, you can shut down now because.

[Ryan]

I. Oh, rest yourself. Interesting. That's what I'm looking for, Tyler.

[Barry]

That's my best guess because I.

[Ryan]

Because I was. I was dead tired last night and I was laying there and I was like, if I shut my eyes, I'll fall asleep, but if I lay here in the same exact state with my eyes even. Even one eye just slightly cracked open, I won't fall asleep.

[Jared]

It's really hard.

[Barry]

You're just testing.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I. I don't. I don't know. Yes. See, I just can't do.

[Barry]

It doesn't make any sense.

[Ryan]

It did make sense. I thought it was an interesting question to post.

[Tyler]

Hey, Ryan, why couldn't you fall asleep last night? It. Because I never shut my eyes.

[Ryan]

But yeah, no, I. Brain signal.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I guess I've never thought about that. We have to shut our eyes to fall asleep.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And. And said that she was a kid, every time her mom would tell her, every time you open your eyes, you have to start over. So just keep them shut and you'll fall asleep.

[Barry]

That's a good one.

[Tyler]

So that's why when I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I'm always, like, feeling around like a flying guy. And I, you know, I'm about 50% right now hitting the toilet or not, but it's way better than opening your eyes and Having to start over.

[Barry]

Oh, just pissing the shower. Way harder to miss.

[Ryan]

I know. That's actually the move.

[Tyler]

That is the move.

[Barry]

That's the move.

[Tyler]

And I just have a. I don't have a tub on mine.

[Ryan]

So it's per.

[Tyler]

Actually I, I have. I got way. Because I also got a freestanding tub.

[Barry]

Perfect.

[Tyler]

And a shower. So honestly the tub might be a move because there's. It's just open. There's no like curtain, there's no door. Yeah.

[Jared]

I'd say the sink might be the move.

[Ryan]

It.

[Tyler]

I have done that before. Really hammered.

[Jared]

Oh yeah. I've done it too.

[Ryan]

Just for.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I did that in the Ozarks one time. I was. I was really hammered. We went back me. Anne went back to a hotel room and she was. Said she was laying on the bed and she looked over and I'm just pissing in the s. And I. I've done it. I've never done it. I've never done it any other time in my whole life. Yeah. Yeah. This is. I'm a one hit wonder when it comes to pissing in the sink.

[Jared]

I think I did it at a dive bar once and I was really hammered.

[Ryan]

I have too. If someone. If it's like a say the downtown bar.

[Jared]

Sure.

[Ryan]

You know there's one. There's one sports bar. Yeah.

[Tyler]

You mean the bar when we did bellied up.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Barry]

Have a really good relationship with the owner.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Oh yeah, yeah. Someone else is. One of my buddies is using the toilet so I just. I had to go bad and there's already enough piss on the floor.

[Jared]

So you guys go to the bathroom together?

[Ryan]

Well, I had a piss, dad.

[Jared]

Oh, gotcha.

[Tyler]

You know, that's the thing. I probably just had to piss bad. That's why I ended up in the sink.

[Barry]

Yeah. And everyone knows that about hotels that the sinks are really far away from the toilet.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Well this one, the sink was in the. It was like not in the toilet room. It's a whole thing. Dude.

[Ryan]

It's the worst when you go like when you are super tired you have to get up and. And you have to go take a piss. And then you hear. You hear your piss hitting the outside of the porcelain, not the inside. And then you don't.

[Tyler]

That's why we need one of those toilet bowl legs.

[Ryan]

I know.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Because you don't know which direction you have to move because if you move the wrong direction then it's on the floor and you're not turning that light on. And clean it up.

[Jared]

I'm just picturing you bring your bowl light wherever you go to like every hotel.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You just have to have it.

[Barry]

You forget it. You have to call them and ask him to send it to you.

[Jared]

Just put in a Ziploc.

[Tyler]

So.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I think.

[Barry]

It.

[Tyler]

It is. I think. What's stranger, like, if I was. If I was your college buddy, I think I would more be thinking about how strange it is, is that for at least 33% of a day we just like, let ourselves go unconscious.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Unguarded.

[Ryan]

That is odd.

[Tyler]

It seems like evolutionary wise we would figure it out. It seems impractical to go to sleep when you have the threat of predators coming at you. You know what I mean?

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And why. It's also kind of interesting why we sleep when it's dark. I. I understand, but that's when. That's when predators come out to hunt. Is in the dark.

[Barry]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tyler]

You like. Like, if we had a choice evolution wise, we would be. We would be awake at night.

[Barry]

I wonder if we didn't evolve, we. Maybe we did stay awake during the night way, way back in early human days. And then as we started to develop and get weapons and stuff, we started sleeping at night because we wanted to seek enjoyment during the day.

[Ryan]

The predators then become the prey.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Because they're sleeping during the day. You like what I did?

[Barry]

As we move up the food chain, we start looking for enjoyment more.

[Tyler]

I mean, I don't know if, like, it. I. I think I just. It was whatever, you know, whatever. I mean, I think I was. I was indifferent about what you did.

[Ryan]

Pretty duty on it, so. Yeah, no, that's.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Next time you get a call from your college buddies, you should definitely let us know what they have to say.

[Ryan]

I will. Yeah. I was actually. I'll send you a message.

[Tyler]

Did your college buddy say anything else? No, it doesn't have anything else.

[Ryan]

He was wondering, did you, like, once a quarter call? Not for any particular reason, but usually there's just a question in mind.

[Jared]

He's always smacking his lips because he got dry mouth. It's weird.

[Ryan]

I know. It's the weirdest thing ever.

[Jared]

I like what you did there.

[Ryan]

I also got a small business business proposition for you guys.

[Tyler]

Let's go.

[Barry]

This is from you or your college buddy?

[Ryan]

This is for me.

[Barry]

Okay.

[Ryan]

This is for me specifically. My kid is obsessed with superheroes like that. He. He eats, sleeps, and breathes superheroes right now. And one I'm thinking, I'm like, well, that's an easy shoe in for his Next birthday party. Superhero themed. But what would make it even better is if there's an actual superhero there. I. E. Someone dressed in like a Batman costume. But around our area, you can't rent super. Rent a hero. You can't rent superheroes. You can rent inflatables. And. But yeah, and like, that's fun. But I want to rent out like, I can get Santa Claus to come over to my house. He's not even real. Neither are super.

[Barry]

Spoilers.

[Ryan]

What price now they're superheroes. But. So why can't. Why can't I get Batman to come over to my child's birthday party?

[Tyler]

Yeah. What? The kids are out on clowns.

[Ryan]

Oh, for sure.

[Tyler]

Why can you hire a clown? Yeah, like, why can you hire an Elvis impersonator but you can't hire a Batman to come over.

[Ryan]

Exactly. And parents would pay top. I mean, we're talking like 2, 250 bucks an hour.

[Jared]

Really?

[Ryan]

For their. Oh, dude, I was looking it up online. They have it in certain certain areas, but not around here.

[Tyler]

So we need, we need, we need Fargo, rent a hero.

[Jared]

I love rent a hero.

[Tyler]

Get that domain right now. Okay. Fargo, rent a hero for my kids.

[Ryan]

Fourth, because I'd probably get multiple. I'd get Spider Man, Superman, and Batman.

[Barry]

So you just pay. You're gonna pay.

[Tyler]

You want the event.

[Barry]

750 bucks.

[Jared]

Wow.

[Ryan]

Batman's not part of that.

[Tyler]

Would be the thing. We'd have the Avengers package. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

You could do Hulk, Iron Man, Captain.

[Tyler]

America discount on each guy.

[Ryan]

Thor.

[Barry]

Thor. Yeah, there's a bunch.

[Ryan]

There's a bunch. I know. I've been reading all about them lately.

[Barry]

For my kid's fourth birthday, Spider man did show up.

[Jared]

Up.

[Barry]

He sounded weirdly a lot like my sister and did not have a teenage boys figure.

[Tyler]

So was Spider Woman showed up?

[Barry]

Nope. Spider man had boobs. Spider man had boobs and sounded like my sister. But the four year old bought it.

[Ryan]

Did he like it?

[Barry]

He loved it.

[Ryan]

That's what I'm saying.

[Barry]

Geeked.

[Ryan]

That's what I'm saying.

[Tyler]

I can tell you as much. I am never ever dressing up like a superhero for my kid's birthday party.

[Ryan]

I'm considering it because I do it.

[Barry]

Every day when I put my pants on. Hell yeah.

[Tyler]

I'll just put my. You betcha cap on. And there we go.

[Ryan]

Like. And you could go to a like a local powerlifting gym and find a Hulk. Yeah, that you could. You got right up. Body paint, dude.

[Tyler]

No, I definitely would. Yeah, you hire some guy, come over and then you just. This guy already is like, it sucks. I gotta be Spider man for these kids. And then what? I, you know, I think the move is to kind of like mess with them a little bit, you know. I don't imagine you can see well out of that mask. See, surprise sack taps are gonna sorry.

[Barry]

The kids, you know.

[Tyler]

Okay, just quit sack tapping them.

[Barry]

Kids will be kids.

[Ryan]

Right, but see, I also don't know if I want my kid to meet his heroes.

[Tyler]

Yeah, those types of deals, you don't want to ruin it for him.

[Barry]

Yeah, and that's why I got milk and never came back. Didn't want him to meet his hero.

[Tyler]

Oh God. So where you been living then?

[Barry]

In the garage.

[Tyler]

Got it.

[Barry]

Yeah, very principal detached.

[Tyler]

You kept your condo in Fargo?

[Barry]

Yep.

[Jared]

Can't beat your kid.

[Barry]

Sorry, buddy. They say don't be your hero. That's why I took off when you were born.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I mean, Tyler's kid met his hero and he's like, wow, I didn't know my hero had boobs.

[Barry]

Why does this one sound like Auntie Paige?

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. I mean we would like there would be a build requirement, you know?

[Barry]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Tyler]

In Fargo, I don't think you can have build requirements. Things like. I think what you get.

[Ryan]

I think I'd probably be the only person in this room that could be. That could meet the build requirements for Spider Man.

[Barry]

Yeah, he's pretty skinny.

[Jared]

Yeah, you'd be a good Spider Man.

[Tyler]

I'd probably be what, the Hulk?

[Ryan]

The Thing?

[Tyler]

Yeah, I'm so rock solid.

[Ryan]

You could be Doc Ock. We can give you the haircut too.

[Tyler]

Yeah, give him a bowl.

[Barry]

Cut glasses.

[Tyler]

My penis could be Ant Man.

[Jared]

Be Penguin.

[Barry]

He could be Penguin.

[Jared]

Anyway, Aquaman would be great for a pool party. He just hangs out in the pool the whole day.

[Ryan]

Aquaman would be good.

[Tyler]

I don't know if I want a grown man in the pool with my kids though.

[Jared]

That's true.

[Barry]

You also don't want Aquaman at the pool party, cuz he's not going to be able to do any of the walk water tricks.

[Tyler]

Yeah, and Ryan doesn't have a pool, so what, are they just at the Holiday Inn with this guy dressed as Aquaman?

[Jared]

Well, you can rent it above ground pool at the Reddit.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Aquaman.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it comes with the Aquaman package.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So who are we hiring to set up this pool now? Ryan?

[Ryan]

I don't know. Probably me if I'm just trying to get out. You know, I'm bootstrapping this Aquaman's helping me.

[Barry]

I'm not doing it like right.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Right away.

[Tyler]

Aquaman doesn't get a free ride.

[Ryan]

I mean, right away when I get there, this puppy started up. I'm going to be every superhero. Like I'll be, I'll like costumes, changes back and forth.

[Tyler]

You, you want to help kids meet their hero so badly that your kids just never see you. You're just constantly playing hero and then. Actually that's probably more realistic to what it's like to be a superhero.

[Ryan]

Probably.

[Tyler]

It's not all sunshine and rainbows.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

It's not all ass kicking and, and whoop ass.

[Barry]

Well that's what they say. With great power comes great responsibility.

[Ryan]

Yes, they do do. Yes I do.

[Tyler]

Who said that?

[Barry]

Uncle Ben.

[Ryan]

Uncle Ben. That was, that's in one of the superhero books I'm reading right now.

[Barry]

Spider Man.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Uncle Ben.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Cuz Uncle Ben is Spider Man.

[Ryan]

He's the uncle that died.

[Tyler]

Spoiler alert.

[Ryan]

See I just, I Right, right now we've read these books a thousand times and they're long and I'm trying to get, I'm trying to get in like two minute books.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So I'm.

[Tyler]

See I'd much rather read one longer book than rifle through ten five page books.

[Ryan]

Same. But we can't, we can't turn light off until we've read five books.

[Tyler]

Who set that rule?

[Ryan]

Well, my child did. Well, I set that rule a year.

[Tyler]

When the books were smaller.

[Ryan]

When the books were smaller.

[Tyler]

Okay, well yeah, you need to do some trade off system here.

[Ryan]

Well now like you start, put, put.

[Tyler]

On, put on the COVID of the book a little sticker that says how many books?

[Jared]

It's wor.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Okay. Short books.

[Tyler]

Put one.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Point system.

[Barry]

Or just lie to him about what chapters are. Say five chapters.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

But his thing of. Yeah, I gotta, I can't go books because we have a, we have a book with 10 books inside of it.

[Barry]

Is it the Spider man five minute stories?

[Ryan]

Well, it's Batman five minute stories and then Avengers five minute stories.

[Barry]

We have the, we have Spider man five minute stories.

[Tyler]

And I'm such a slow reader that it would be Batman 10 Minute Stories.

[Ryan]

Dude. Yeah. Yeah.

[Tyler]

And my wife would be Batman 92nd stories. I'm, I don't know how she reads. I, I'm, I'm hell bent that she doesn't comprehend she's a skimmer.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

That's kind of where I'm at. Right.

[Jared]

Never do a book report after.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I mean I may, I may. And she it's weird because if she is going to read a book, it's always one that also has a movie attached to it. So I think she just watches the movie and then just pretends to read the book really fast. Just does one of these. Done.

[Ryan]

And then it's just obligated to be like.

[Tyler]

And then be like. You ask her questions about it, she answers it. But it's all based off the movie.

[Barry]

I told you guys.

[Tyler]

Holy.

[Barry]

We went through a phase of not doing books and just telling stories. And I would just tell them the plot of a famous Disney movie, and then they'd watch it a couple days later. I'd be like, they made my story into a movie.

[Ryan]

That's good, dude. Yeah, I can't. I can't think of stories. I've been. I've. I have. I haven't told the story in about six months because I keep putting it up. I. I told him that. I told. I tell them that I can't think of stories unless I'm sleeping, and if I forget to think of a story, I have to go to bed next day. I know.

[Jared]

That's.

[Tyler]

So what's your bugaboo with telling stories?

[Ryan]

I just. I. I don't. I'm not creative enough to come up with them on the spot.

[Tyler]

Well, let's. Let's test it out right here, right now. So, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad. Yes.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Tyler]

Will you tell me. Will you tell me a story?

[Ryan]

And here's what I go. Oh, God. Sorry, bud. I. I forgot to think of a story last night. So I'll. I'll think of one for tomorrow while I'm sleeping tonight.

[Tyler]

Well, why don't you just think of one right now? I'll help. Okay. Let's pretend we're gonna do a superhero one. And it's Deer Man. You know, the deer that' the backyard that you missed? Let's do a superhero based off of that. And he has no ability to ever get shot. Go, dad.

[Ryan]

One time there was a guy.

[Barry]

Once upon a time, there was a story.

[Tyler]

He likes short stories. Tightens it up.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we're cutting.

[Tyler]

Why use more words when few words do trick?

[Ryan]

Yeah, we're not trying to hit a word count here with this story not being college paper.

[Tyler]

Tyler.

[Ryan]

One time.

[Tyler]

The periods are 14 point font here.

[Jared]

Are you still right kid at this.

[Tyler]

Yeah, shut up, Tyler. Also, why is Tyler in my bedroom? He's kind of creeped me out.

[Barry]

I'm here for the story. Zip it so we can talk.

[Tyler]

And why is he dressed as Wonder Woman.

[Barry]

Your dad's paying me 250 bucks an hour to be here. So the longer this takes, the better kid.

[Ryan]

I mean that's a, for a bodybuilder wanting to sign up as Hulk. I mean that's a month worth of trend for him right there. 250 easy.

[Barry]

Is this part of the story?

[Ryan]

Oh, no. Okay, one time, one time there was a little boy who lived out in the country and his dad really liked to hunt, so he wanted to hunt when he got older.

[Tyler]

Yeah, just like me dad.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, you're going to. Yeah, we can't forget the snacks though. And when him and his dad would go hunting, they would always bring the snacks. And this time when him and his dad went out, they forgot the snacks. But right as they were about to climb out of the deer blind, a huge buck came out of the woods. And his dad, he said, buddy, buddy.

[Barry]

There'S a huge buck right there.

[Ryan]

And then his dad put his gun up on the rest and he shot and he missed. But then he realized that his scope was loose and he said, oh man, next time I got remember to tighten my scope instead of remembering to bring the snacks because that's more important. And so they miss the buck. But hunting's not all always about killing. It's about the memories you make along the way.

[Tyler]

Dad, this seems like this story's about your boss Miles, and not about Deer man like I suggested.

[Ryan]

So then once he missed, Deal man looked at him and I say dia, because that's how he says deer. Deal man looked, looked at him and him and his dad and then he started charging towards him with his antlers facing right at him. And then he ran into the deer blind and his dad died because it, oh my. Decapitated him.

[Tyler]

Dad, the end that I'm really scared and I'm not gonna be able to sleep for like another three hours.

[Ryan]

Wow, buddy, that, it's just a good life lesson to check your skull before you go home, hun.

[Jared]

Keep your eyes open.

[Tyler]

All right, well, I'm not going to shut my eyes tonight.

[Ryan]

Well, you will be able to sleep then. And if you open them, you'll have to start all over.

[Tyler]

That was good. I, I were, I, I thought you were just going to tell the story of how you missed and well, no.

[Ryan]

Cuz you got it. You threw me under the bus, so I had to throw you under the bus.

[Tyler]

I know. Very nice work.

[Barry]

Live studio audience. We forgot to tell you guys that.

[Ryan]

And I would, you know, I'd probably beef it up a little Bit. But we're on a time clock.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you beef it up. Yeah, next time, try throwing more wrinkles into it. I'm just kind of just like a. Just felt like you were just reading a news story.

[Ryan]

Well, I'm trying to get to. I'm trying to get my eyes closed.

[Tyler]

I know, but now I'm. Now I'm getting. Now I'm giving you some constructive criticism on your story.

[Ryan]

What I need to do. Well, and that's. Yeah, that. That was a. That was a watered down version of what it would have been. I gotta get a chat GPT to write me some good stories.

[Jared]

That's a good idea.

[Tyler]

That is a good idea, actually.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

JBT and put like the iPad behind their head and they just read off the iPad so you don't forget.

[Tyler]

Dad, why are you looking at my top of my head?

[Barry]

Part of the story.

[Tyler]

No, you just. You tape your phone to his forehead.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Or I get some VR glasses. I can post it up on the VR. I think. You can do that. Probably.

[Tyler]

So you're just gonna be reading your kid a story with VM.

[Jared]

Or an AirPod Man.

[Ryan]

And his dad was reaching out and he was trying to figure out.

[Tyler]

He just had to twist and twist.

[Ryan]

He.

[Tyler]

He reached up and he felt bags of sand.

[Ryan]

Yeah, the alarm kept going off, so. And so he was reaching up to feel the buttons, but he didn't know which button it was that turned the alarm off.

[Tyler]

So you're just watching porn when you're supposed to read your kid a nighttime story. Is that what's happening?

[Ryan]

No, that was just a side quest of the original conversation we're having. This Rent Hero deal is where we're at.

[Tyler]

All right. Yeah. If you can get Fargo Rent a Hero, I'm in.

[Ryan]

And maybe they can. Can tell stories. They can.

[Tyler]

I also am confused. Did you want us to also invest or is this just a business and you're wondering if you like.

[Ryan]

No, it was just an idea I had I want to run by you guys, I think.

[Tyler]

So we're not in on the business. This is your business.

[Ryan]

You can be in. Because then it just frees my time up more.

[Tyler]

Well, no, I'm not. I'm a silent. I'm an angel investor. If anything, I'll buy the costumes. How's that work for you?

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's also another thing. I don't know where I'd get costumes at that. I'd have to get him.

[Tyler]

Probably closed.

[Jared]

Really?

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Spencers, Spencer spirit, Halloween, Amazon maybe, but these things got to be legit. I'm talking, like, we need the Batarangs and the grapnel gun, and, like, we need all that in the bel. Yep, yep. And if you rolled up in a Batmobile, even better. Joe Burrow could possibly. He doesn't now he didn't get the.

[Barry]

Batmobile, he'd be pissed. That so that you got it for your business and he didn't get it in the auction.

[Ryan]

I know.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that should be easy.

[Ryan]

But anyway, just a little idea.

[Tyler]

I wanted to remind you guys, I like it. Jared's got a segment for us.

[Jared]

Yep. It's weird. Or not weird. Okay, so I asked some patrons to. To. For us to judge something in their life, and we have to judge whether it's weird or not weird.

[Tyler]

All right, let's hear it.

[Jared]

Give me one sec. I just had to pull up juice box. Jess says I hold my breath when I walk by people so I don't have to smell them.

[Barry]

Not.

[Tyler]

That's weird.

[Barry]

Not weird.

[Tyler]

What?

[Ryan]

When he walks by every.

[Barry]

Not by every person, but if I. I know someone who's notoriously stinky, I'll do that.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm not. Like, if I've never met this person. I just see, like, if I see a Domino Dan type of character walking down the road, I'm not holding my breath as he walks by.

[Barry]

I might. If I. If they look. Look like they're gonna be stinky, I might.

[Ryan]

If I. Like, if I can see someone in the distance that's coughing or, like, clearly sick, I'll hold my breath. I'm walking by him.

[Jared]

Not automatically, though.

[Ryan]

Not automatically. No. I'm not gonna be walking out like a. Walking on the concourse of a Vikings game. Just hold my breath.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You know, because then I'll miss the game. I'll be in the blue tent.

[Barry]

Hey, better. Better seats.

[Ryan]

That's true. That's true.

[Jared]

Stupid. I'm glad. I'm glad you asked. Everyone thinks it's weird that when I eat peanuts in the shell, I eat the whole thing, like, shell and all.

[Barry]

Yeah, that's really weird.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's weird. It's like the guys I know that eat the shrimp tails on the shrimp.

[Barry]

Yeah, that's very weird.

[Tyler]

I would love to know. There's, like, these guys, we hunt with both their brothers, and they both eat shrimp tails, and we're wondering if that's, like, a real thing or that's just a really weird quirk that that family does. So the listeners, I'd love to know if there's anyone else out there that Eats the shrimp tails as well.

[Jared]

It's like fiberglass.

[Tyler]

It's. It's not a fun material to chew on.

[Ryan]

Like. Like when. When they. The hard boiled eggs, they just eat in the shell too. Or is strictly peanuts eating the apple cores. Yeah. I know a guy who does that.

[Jared]

Bed wizard. When I'm eating steak and mashed potatoes, I'll eat pickles with it and dip them in mashed potatoes. Great combination, in my opinion.

[Tyler]

Oh, I don't think that's weird.

[Barry]

Yeah. It's something I've never thought of.

[Tyler]

No, I just definitely think we should be eating pickles with more stuff.

[Ryan]

I agree.

[Barry]

Yeah. It's not. Especially because we're Midwesterners. I'm not a beer and a spear guy, but it's very normal here. So pickles and random things make sense?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Just even dill flavor and stuff.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I mean, I think there's a lot of combos that people haven't even uncovered yet.

[Jared]

No.

[Ryan]

Like, I had never heard of Chilean cinnamon cinnamon rolls.

[Barry]

My neighbor growing up did PB and P sandwiches. Peanut butter and pickles.

[Ryan]

Really? Yeah.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Sweet and salty pickle chips.

[Barry]

You put them on a peanut butter sandwich.

[Tyler]

I may actually try that.

[Jared]

I don't hate them.

[Ryan]

Interesting.

[Jared]

So bacon on that.

[Ryan]

I guess. I mean, we're that much closer just to a burger with peanut butter on it.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Barry]

Just missing the patty and that's it.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Ivana hump a lot. Me and my buddies make it a point to have our nipples touched when we hug goodbye. We've been doing it since fifth grade as a joke. And our wives think it's weird now. We think it's for the bros.

[Tyler]

So on surface level, that's weird. But because it is part of your bromance, I'm gonna rule it. It's not weird. It was. Yeah.

[Barry]

90. The first 90 of that. It was weird until you got to the fifth grade part. Then it's okay.

[Tyler]

Commitment to a bit like that.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

For that long. That's now that's impressive. And it's no longer weird because it's tradition. You know, it's like when something. You do it for so long, it becomes. It's. It starts out as something weird that you do.

[Barry]

Yep.

[Tyler]

And then if you do it long enough, it's no longer weird anymore and it's tradition. And that's just tradition.

[Jared]

So I'm with you, Barry McCockener. Domino Dan might approve. My girlfriend thinks it's weird. But I love pizza and cottage cheese together.

[Tyler]

See, I just. I'm not a huge cottage cheese guy, but I mean, if it's just cheese. Cheese is one of the main ingredients of pizza.

[Barry]

Is he dipping it in the cottage cheese or is that.

[Tyler]

I get that it's like dipping in ranch.

[Barry]

I think it's weird. Weird.

[Ryan]

I think that's fine. I mean, like, we put cottage cheese. You guys ever put cottage cheese in your scrambled eggs?

[Barry]

No, that's.

[Ryan]

It's fire, dude.

[Barry]

I don't like cottage cheese, period. So.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you can't even taste it.

[Barry]

Why are you doing it?

[Ryan]

Extra protein. God, she's great. Is great source of protein.

[Tyler]

You gotta remember, he can eat anything he wants at any time of day in any amount of quantities that he wants. And he just will always look this way.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You guys don't see the hardwood.

[Tyler]

Oh, God. So, like, when you say, like, why do you put it on there? He's like, because I can't.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

We're like. Well, that just seems like extra caloric behavior that we don't need, you know?

[Ryan]

Cottage. She's in topped on spaghetti.

[Barry]

Okay.

[Ryan]

It's also another good one.

[Barry]

My wife eats Kai. She's just out of the thing.

[Ryan]

Thing out of the.

[Barry]

With a spoon out of the tub.

[Ryan]

Yeah, see, I'm not really doing that.

[Barry]

Yeah, I think it's crazy move by her too.

[Jared]

Hung like a house number. Setting the exact amount of time I think the microwave will take to reheat my food. Might be 33 seconds or a minute 18, but I'll get it real close.

[Tyler]

Yeah. So I don't, do I?

[Barry]

I.

[Tyler]

It's always in intervals of 30.

[Barry]

This isn't weird. This is autism.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Or OCD.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

No, no, because, I mean, I guess, is it autistic of me to be like, I'll see this desk and I'll like, guess how wide it is and then take a tape measure and measure it because I feel like it's the same type of thing.

[Barry]

If. If you're like guessing, like, I think it's five foot three and a half inches, that's a little autistic.

[Tyler]

But if it's just five.

[Barry]

But if you're like, it's probably about five feet.

[Tyler]

So the more accurate you get, the more autistic you are.

[Barry]

Yeah. The more specific in the numbers.

[Tyler]

If that's autism, I want it.

[Barry]

That's genuinely. I'm not 100 sure. I'm like 95 sure that, like, specific hyper fixating on specific details is an autistic trait.

[Ryan]

Do you just do that with desks or do you do that with guys.

[Jared]

Too, it's just desks.

[Tyler]

What do you mean with guys?

[Barry]

It looks at Jared, he's like three and a quarter inches.

[Tyler]

Hell yeah. No, I don't do that. It's much more accurate than three and a quarter inches. It's down to the millimeter. Cuz most guys that I see I'm going to have to measure in millimeters inches. No, I, I don't know. I kind of like that level of detail in life because like maybe I am a little bit on the spectrum then. Because when Anna and I made make we out in our closet with the door closing, the light off so there's no chance anyone could see us. When Ann and I make chicken, you know, we make it enough that I've like tried to dial in. I, I'll look at like the size of the chickens, chicken breasts and I'll try and guesstimate to get it to 165 internal. Exactly how many minutes it's going to take for that to happen. And it, it's a, it's more of an art form because not every chicken's the same size.

[Barry]

Okay.

[Ryan]

I think it's kind of just an extension too of filling up your gas.

[Tyler]

Tank, trying to get it on zero.

[Ryan]

Trying to get it on like a perfect number or like guessing how much.

[Barry]

I, I would say getting your gas tank number to perfect zeros is more OCD than it is autism.

[Tyler]

I think that you're over generalized. I think if he was like I can only type 1/18 on the thing and however many times it takes me to do that to he up, that's what I do.

[Barry]

I think that's ocd.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah it is.

[Tyler]

Getting it on the zeros is just satisfying. I don't think that's. It would be like if your whole day is ruined. I think that's oc. Like if you didn't get it on zeros and you couldn't function after that, that I think that's ocd.

[Barry]

Okay.

[Tyler]

So I think he's, I think he's in the clear. I think it's just a fun thing he gets to do. He, he's making dinner fun again again, you know, for sure.

[Jared]

Buzzer beaters.

[Ryan]

Do you also ever. You ever put anything in the microwave without like a paper towel over it and then put like the time that you need to like let's say melt butter and you're just going to wing it and try and get the 30 seconds down to zero without covering the top and without it exploding.

[Barry]

I'll Be I never cover my shoes. I just cleaned the splatter.

[Tyler]

I was that guy.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And then I found out that there's like, you know like where the plate is in the. On the side or the top or it's. Every microwave is a little bit different. Where the microwaves come through and it hits this plate and disperses them.

[Barry]

That.

[Tyler]

Apparently for me it got dirty behind the plate and it fried my entire microwave. Did I tell you guys this?

[Barry]

No.

[Tyler]

Oh my. My microwave started like sparking at your house. At my house recently. This is like two months ago.

[Jared]

Yeah, you didn't tell us.

[Tyler]

Started sparking and you know I took the plate off, took photos, whatever and eventually got to the conclusion that it was fried and if I turn it on again it's going to get worse and could start a fire. So then I had was on the hunt for a new microwave and I went to like four different stores in town down and I ended up finding the one exact microwave that I had in my house and they only had one left. So I don't know if I'll ever be able to get that microwave again. And normally you're like oh that's fine. You know you just get a different type microwave. Well I found out. So ours is mounted in the thing. There's a plate cover that covers the trim around the edge. Apparently it's not a one size fits all plate. Oh and the plate is just as much as the microwave wave. And so now we cover all of our.

[Barry]

Nice. So I got a piece of $55.

[Tyler]

Microwave on the counter.

[Barry]

It's. It's in a built in hutch thing. I'd maybe not on the counter but.

[Tyler]

Check into how much the mount cost. Cuz the mount cost of a little, little like collapsible thing that you put over top of it might be worth it versus having to buy a new microwave and a new plate.

[Barry]

My microwave, I have the same microwave as the one on the left downstairs.

[Ryan]

That one sucks.

[Barry]

It's terrible. Dude, I gotta like. If I see something that's like microwave for a minute, I'm putting it for 230.

[Tyler]

So maybe a better PSA is just keep your microwave clean.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

Otherwise like because it apparently like food got behind it and because it was like so close say to the thing, it like started on fire and then started the coil. It was a whole thing. Jesus.

[Jared]

Yeah. And this is like your first microwave since you got skinny too. So there's be a lot less wear and tear on it.

[Barry]

So.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

I mean actually there's if we want to get real nitty gritty here. I was actually using the microwave less because I was just door dashing dominoes. The food was just showing up to.

[Barry]

My house already, and old Mile else never had leftovers to reheat.

[Tyler]

So, yeah, if there was leftovers, like, I was. I was probably. I probably had influenza. I think that was the only time there for a few years where I had any leftovers.

[Jared]

No fry left behind.

[Tyler]

I was part of the clean plate club. I was part of the clean fridge, pantry, and plate.

[Barry]

Not microwave plate, but every other plate.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Fair enough. Salty loads. When I get food to go, I put it in the bed of my pickup so the inside of my pickup doesn't smell like food.

[Ryan]

I think that's weird.

[Tyler]

I mean, the winter, that's crazy.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Unless it's ice cream.

[Barry]

And then, like.

[Tyler]

Unless it's ice cream. But that doesn't smell. No, I don't think that that's weird. But I do think that the only way they. It's like, once you take the food.

[Barry]

Out, it doesn't leave a smell that long. Unless you leave the McDonald's bag in the car.

[Ryan]

That's correct.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And also, once you buy the food and you put in there, I want to be like. Yeah, like, wafting that smell into my nostrils. Yeah.

[Barry]

I think this is weird.

[Tyler]

Like, you pick up a pizza and it's sitting on the passenger seat next to you, and you're just like, oh, I can't wait to stick my dick in this pizza.

[Ryan]

I can't wait to strip down and lay on top of this thing.

[Tyler]

I mean, I'll even do some foreplay with it and turn the. The seat heater on.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I mean. Oh, yeah, keep it warm.

[Ryan]

Get the undercarriage nice and warm. I can't wait to lather that sauce all over my nipples.

[Barry]

Jesus Christ.

[Jared]

You guys love pizza.

[Tyler]

Oh, what he's been doing Domino?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. He's been rubbing marinara sauce on his nipples since fifth grade. It's tradition.

[Ryan]

Me and my fifth grade budd. Yeah, We've been doing it ever since.

[Tyler]

It's tradition.

[Barry]

We did in the lunchroom in fifth grade. We never stopped.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we got ISS from it.

[Ryan]

But just the first time, though. They're like, oh, they're just, bro.

[Tyler]

Oh, it's tradition now.

[Ryan]

Tradition.

[Barry]

They have to do it.

[Jared]

It's like, dude, we shove Bosco sticks up our ass.

[Barry]

Get. Come on, dude.

[Ryan]

You had a crispito. You had a crispo sticking out your ass in fifth period.

[Tyler]

Yeah, dude, like, what we do is we get hammered and spend all our money on pull tabs. It's tradition.

[Ryan]

It's just tradition.

[Tyler]

That's why I have all this credit card debt. Because it's tradition.

[Jared]

Only takes one to get out. Will he be hard again? I probably already know the answer, but is it weird that whenever I pick a booger, I smell it? I find it fascinating that they have an odor once picked, but you can't smell them when they are in your nose. Maybe I just can't smell the forest for the trees.

[Tyler]

That is weird. I've never even had the thought to smell a booger before.

[Ryan]

Oh, God, no.

[Jared]

Doesn't smell like anything.

[Tyler]

Well, yeah, I mean, he's saying it. He's.

[Barry]

He.

[Tyler]

I'm trusting him because he's actually doing it.

[Barry]

All right, no, this is weird as.

[Tyler]

But we all now need to try it, right?

[Ryan]

We're all gonna.

[Barry]

We're all gonna smell our next booger. But it's still weird.

[Ryan]

What you gotta do is smell your next shower fart, Brian.

[Barry]

You don't have a choice.

[Tyler]

But you've been doing it so long, it's not weird anymore. It's tradition. It's just tradition every time you hop in the shower.

[Ryan]

Because, I mean, you're not as fart.

[Tyler]

So you can smell it.

[Ryan]

You're not tradition. They're all clear. They're clear and everything. So.

[Tyler]

I like that. Actually, we just discovered a new loophole. I'm always on the hunt for a new loophole. My wife's gonna hate it. She's gonna hate it. Yeah.

[Ryan]

I would.

[Tyler]

You know, like, the booger has a smell. It may be true, but I think what you might just be smelling is your own finger. You know, if you're going like this, you might just be getting scent of your finger.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Barry]

Next time, right before you pick the booger, smell your finger.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It's almost like. Like. Like tearing out a calculator. Like zeroing a calculator out.

[Tyler]

Yeah, like. Or.

[Ryan]

Or a scale. Yeah, sorry. A scale.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Get a baseline finger set.

[Jared]

A control.

[Tyler]

Baseline finger set.

[Barry]

Like.

[Tyler]

Yeah, never mind. We're gonna move on from smelling the fingers.

[Ryan]

Want to answer your first question, too? I don't think you'll ever be hard again after what you just told us.

[Tyler]

Because he's not gonna get laid.

[Ryan]

His. Yeah.

[Jared]

Oh. Gotcha.

[Barry]

His name is Willie. Be hard again.

[Tyler]

No, I know.

[Jared]

Yeah, I missed that.

[Barry]

Sorry.

[Tyler]

Ryan, you read it.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Jared]

J these nuts. Every time me and my girlfriend goes grocery shopping, I always grab a soda and a small box of maple donuts and eat it while we're shopping. I can't be the only one, right? Perfect.

[Barry]

I mean, maybe not maple donuts, but.

[Tyler]

That'S gotta be careful because any specifics around here, right? Or Tyler will just immediately call you on autism, but it's got to be careful with details on this podcast us, you know, like our number one complaint on the Patreon is that we don't get enough details. And now Ryan or Tyler shaming people for details. So one, we know how Tyler feels. Definitely thinks it's weird. Definitely thinks you're on the spectrum.

[Barry]

I just said this is perfectly normal. I think less than 10 seconds ago.

[Tyler]

I think this is awesome.

[Ryan]

I think, I think it's crazy to eat something before you pay for it because then what do you just bring it? An empty, an empty container, dude.

[Tyler]

Once you do it once, it feels so good.

[Ryan]

Are they, are the employees cool with it?

[Tyler]

What are they going to do?

[Ryan]

I don't.

[Tyler]

They call the maple donut police on you?

[Ryan]

I don't know.

[Barry]

I, I don't want the police.

[Ryan]

I don't want to, I don't want the confrontation of someone coming up to me and asking like, hey, are you going to pay for that? Yeah, well, it's like, yes, I'm going to pay for it. I, I could have avoided that question by just waiting though.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but it's, it's like again, we're making, we're making grocery shopping fun again.

[Barry]

I remember my mom would just give me like a bag. Bag of animal crackers or some in the cart that we hadn't paid for yet to get me to shut the up while we were shopping.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I want, I mean I'm not, I'm not fat enough anymore to be walking around the grocery store with a bag of donuts eating them. I'll have a, I'll have like a soda, you know, love a pop. I'll, I'll, I'll drink something while I'm walking around.

[Ryan]

I might do that with like the, the grocery store we go to, they got like pre made taco like taco deal. Just start munching on one of them.

[Barry]

It's a taco kit. He's just making the taco in the cart.

[Ryan]

Ah, you know what? Yeah, they're, they're, I'll, I'll put this one back and get a different taco kit after I've already eaten two of.

[Tyler]

Them out of it. It's actually kind of smart too because then you, you like, if you go gross shopping hungry, you End up buying more food.

[Ryan]

Food.

[Tyler]

So he's ensuring he's never going to be hungry when he's grocery shopping and ends up actually saving him the calories later.

[Jared]

Galaxy brain.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Holy. This guy. True. You know what? I called him fat earlier, which I can do because I was really fat at one point. I think that you might actually be skinnier than the average person. Now that I'm thinking about it. Not weird.

[Ryan]

I think.

[Tyler]

I think not weird. And you've been doing it long enough. Tradition.

[Ryan]

Yeah. If you. If you have the discipline to only eat meat. Maple donuts and that pop at the grocery store. What a treat walking in there. You're gonna want to go to grocery shopping every week.

[Jared]

Yep. And every time you drive by the grocery store, you're like, your mouth will start watering.

[Ryan]

Exactly.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Pavlov's dog.

[Ryan]

Pav's Law's Law.

[Jared]

Yep. Mike Oxner using the same electric trimmer on my face in the Family Jewels.

[Tyler]

I think we've all done that.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

We've all had to do that.

[Barry]

That out of necessity, maybe.

[Tyler]

Not Ryan.

[Barry]

He's looking at me like, no, out of necessity. I'm never choosing to do that.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Now if you're like, this is regular mode of operation, maybe I wouldn't call it full weird.

[Barry]

It's a tish.

[Ryan]

Weird. I don't. Yeah, I think it's fine. What are your. Like, how. I mean, if you got really dirty nuts, then maybe it's not fine.

[Tyler]

But yeah, maybe. Maybe pre shower kind of weird Post shower. Yeah, probably fine. It's just all skin.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I think razors or trimmers these days, they can all be used in the shower.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's true.

[Jared]

Just a couple more. Matt Chu. I'll mute a football game sometimes and do the play by play out loud while alone on my couch.

[Tyler]

That's a little weird.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Now, if you're at a party and you had like a great announcer voice and was doing it as a bit. I think that's not weird.

[Barry]

Funny bit for a series at a party. But if you try to do that the whole game, I'm so over here.

[Tyler]

You. Yeah, we're throwing hands. Throwing hands by. But I mean, like, if it's. But because it's by yourself. Yes, it's weird, but also like, go gangbusters, dude.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Barry]

All.

[Tyler]

Who cares?

[Ryan]

I. Yeah, I do some weird when I'm by myself.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Can you imagine what he's doing during football games?

[Ryan]

I can respect it.

[Tyler]

Ryan's probably still like throwing the ball, catching it and Landing on the couch, you know what I mean? And then going. Jumping.

[Barry]

Back.

[Tyler]

Then Ryan's doing post game interviews, trying to be like Fernando Mendoza.

[Ryan]

Oh, God.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

He's my favorite.

[Jared]

Yeah. Update your LinkedIn, but don't update it. Don't get publish.

[Ryan]

Yeah, the. At the Clif Bar. Every year for the Kentucky Derby, there's a guy, a regular at the Clif Bar, they'll mute the Kentucky Derby and he'll narrate the whole thing. They've been doing it for years, but.

[Tyler]

Also years it's in public, which makes it, I think, less weird for some reason.

[Ryan]

Agreed. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

It's a performative act where now you're just doing for the love of the game. Now if you're like, someday I want to be Kir Kirk, Herb street, then go for it.

[Jared]

You do you last one slapping them cheeks, saying, damn, I blow her back out. And it turns out it's old pictures of your grandma to.

[Tyler]

Wait, bro. What?

[Ryan]

Holy.

[Tyler]

Wait, what did he say?

[Jared]

Damn, I'd blow her back out. Out. It turns out it's old pictures of your grandma.

[Barry]

That's a tough one, buddy.

[Tyler]

I'm not getting it.

[Barry]

He said that he did this.

[Tyler]

He.

[Ryan]

He saw a picture, not realizing it was his grandma, and he said, damn, I'd blow her back out.

[Barry]

And then someone was like, that's your grandma, bro.

[Tyler]

Oh, okay.

[Ryan]

Wow.

[Tyler]

All right.

[Ryan]

That's.

[Tyler]

That's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what he should have said was, I'd break her hip. I'm just kidding. So you saw old photo of his grandma and was like, wow, she's totally bangable. And then it was like, oh, my God, that's my grandma.

[Barry]

I think if for us to decide if this is weird or not, you got to send this as pics of.

[Tyler]

Grandma, but I don't think that's number one. Number two.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

If you had known it was your grandma before you said that, I think it's definitely weird. You know, it's. That just is like. Like a big time goof.

[Barry]

Honest mistake.

[Tyler]

Definitely weird, though.

[Barry]

Well, yeah, we'll. We'll decide. Let's see how. We'll see what grandma was working with.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Well, it's not like you're telling her that to her face either.

[Tyler]

Yeah, she's.

[Ryan]

Yeah, she might be dead, so she might not. I don't know.

[Tyler]

She's alive. A little weird. She's dead.

[Barry]

It's fine if it was your grandma showing you these pictures and then he said it. You're weird.

[Jared]

That's weird. Time and place.

[Tyler]

Oh, grandma's that your friend? I definitely blow her back out.

[Barry]

Sorry, Sunny, that's me.

[Tyler]

And what do you mean by that? I do have some back lower at lower lumbar issues. Then you just high five your grandpa.

[Jared]

What a family.

[Tyler]

What a family. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Then gramps looks at you and he's like, you always wondered how she got those back problems?

[Jared]

Nice.

[Ryan]

Hell yeah, Gramp.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's it.

[Tyler]

All right. Hell yeah. Thank you, patrons. I think about half of them, I would say about 33% of them were weird. Yeah, 33% were tradition and 33 were.

[Barry]

Were good normal.

[Jared]

Yeah. One fun fact. In 2014, Ben Affleck was. Ben Affleck was barred from playing blackjack at the Hard Rock Hotel Casino in Las Vegas after. After casino security determined he was playing with an advantage widely reported as card counting. While card counting is legal, casinos reserve the right to refuse service. And Affleck was reportedly told he was too good at the game and classified as an advantage player.

[Tyler]

Wow. So maybe the movie the Accountant isn't too far fetched.

[Barry]

That's confirmed autism. The Accountant.

[Tyler]

Correct.

[Barry]

Great movie accountant 1. One awesome movie accountant 2. Booty jeans.

[Tyler]

Never seen counting 2.

[Barry]

They turned it into a comedy. It's a buddy cop comedy.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I like that.

[Ryan]

I feel like I was gonna. I planned to watch it and then I forgot.

[Tyler]

Yeah, sounds good.

[Barry]

I really like the count in one.

[Ryan]

You guys seen Zootopia?

[Barry]

Okay, sure.

[Tyler]

All right. Is that. Is that it, Jared? All right, guys, well, thanks for tuning in to another episode. Episode of you Betcha Radio. Have a great one. We'll see you in the next one.

[Ryan]

You betcha.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Barry]

What.

[Jared]

What do you see or want to see in the future? Technology for cell phones.

[Barry]

Okay. You know the ray Bans that have fucking Ray Bans that are smart glasses. I want contacts like that that connect to my phone.

[Tyler]

It's a good one. Not really anything to do with the smartphone.

[Barry]

Yeah, no. It connects with your phone. So then like it's. You're almost chromecasting to your contact.

[Tyler]

Then I want a better Bluetooth speaker, then that connects to my phone. Like.

[Ryan]

What do you mean by better?

[Barry]

You can manipulate the phone with your eyes. It 100% correlates.

[Tyler]

I would like to be able. There's no reason why other than I just want it to be a little more sci fi. And I'd like to be able to just set my phone down and. A hologram.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Barry]

Tony Stark. And you can manipulate the hologram?

[Tyler]

Yeah, you can throw it around the room and make it bigger. Smaller. That would be sick.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'm with you. That, that was.

[Tyler]

I don't think we, we still got a lot of work to do as a society until we have holograms. Once we got that going on, I.

[Barry]

Mean holograms exist now. We just can't manipulate them.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Barry]

Remember they put like Michael Jackson on stage.

[Ryan]

Tupac did something.

[Tyler]

Yeah. But it needs to be accessible on your phone. Right.

[Jared]

Not a coach.

[Tyler]

Hella yeah.

[Ryan]

I would like to Bluetooth like and this, this isn't, this isn't the subversed. And this is, it probably doesn't have to do with phones, but I'd like to Bluetooth into my, my truck screen so that I can, you know, I can have like a football game or.

[Barry]

Something while I'm driving. They have like a weird.

[Ryan]

I know. I, I saw. It's like, it's, it's spendy though. I just want to come standard. You know, you connect to my Chevrolet Link or whatever the it's called and you can.

[Tyler]

All it will take is when self driving cars are full go.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Then they'll be able to do that. But if you're still behind the wheel ain't going to fly.

[Barry]

Yeah.

[Jared]

So you can watch the Joe Rogan podcast.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Imagine if like these like the new smart, like the smart cars. It was like the, the Vegas, the sphere to where like your show, you just kick back and your show pretty much just plays on the entire ceiling.

[Barry]

That would be pretty cool.

[Tyler]

Again, not anything to do with the phone. Why?

[Ryan]

Yeah, no, you're right. You're right. Right.

[Jared]

Just stuff we want.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. From a technology standpoint. Yeah.

[Tyler]

I would also be sick if like you. It could like shrink and get bigger. I don't think this is ever.

[Ryan]

I do think I know something that does that.

[Barry]

It's the new flip phones.

[Tyler]

No, but like it literally like would shrink to like a like tic tac box. Yeah.

[Ryan]

That's the story of my life.

[Tyler]

You put it in your. Put it in your pocket and you pull it out and then it would go to a normal phone phone.

[Barry]

One thing that I think is actually maybe realistic in the next 10 years is some sort of projector so you can watch a movie on the wall or something.

[Ryan]

You. Yeah, you can buy attachments for that.

[Barry]

Then once it's built in, then we're good to go.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I would like my phone to turn into like a self defense weapon if I needed it to. So I don't know if it's like.

[Tyler]

A little like batons. You click a button and it shoots.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Barry]

Like a little blade that comes out of the charging port.

[Jared]

Sleeping gas. That comes.

[Ryan]

Yeah, there we go, too.

[Barry]

Don't want to accidentally bump that button while you're driving.

[Tyler]

Gas. Instead of.

[Ryan]

Instead of hurting someone, I'd rather just put them to sleep, you know, and if I can't get my arm around their neck for, you know, chokehold, the phone's.

[Tyler]

Wait, don't. No, don't punch me. Hold on one sec. Yeah, don't punch me. Stand there. Wait, wait.

[Barry]

Breathe it in. Don't hold your breath.

[Tyler]

All right, Give it like, about two and a half minutes. It should kick in. Don't punch me.

[Jared]

Are you feeling sleepy?

[Ryan]

I think it. Or like a force field. It, like, it like fucking shoots a force field around you. So, I mean, you're. You don't even need a gold bag in that. In that scenario, you're good. Force field yourself and your family.

[Barry]

I feel like a taser on a phone could happen.

[Ryan]

That'd be a good idea.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Until, like, it goes off in your pocket.

[Jared]

I mean, couldn't bring it on a plane.

[Ryan]

Tasers.

[Barry]

Do you have to press the button? You could be like a phone case that's also a taser.

[Ryan]

That's.

[Barry]

And then you have to press the button to tase someone.

[Tyler]

I just don't think we're going to see much more innovation with phones. I think we kind of just got it right.

[Ryan]

One can wish, though.

[Barry]

I mean, that's what we thought 10 years ago when they started touchphones. They're like, what else can they do?

[Tyler]

Well, it hasn't really changed that much in the last 10 years, reality.

[Barry]

Yeah, less buttons.

[Tyler]

They just keep adding camera lenses to the back. Yeah. Yeah. But I wouldn't say that's a huge innovation.

[Jared]

Well, the bezel's gotten smaller too.

[Tyler]

So that's.

[Ryan]

The. What has?

[Tyler]

The bezels? Yeah, the. Is that the edges? Oh, sure.

[Jared]

So that's a huge.

[Ryan]

Well, they're just like. They're putting new metals in them too. Like, the new iPhone is like, tungsten or titanium. Titanium, yeah, we have tungsten now.

[Barry]

That's fun.

[Ryan]

Like, you customize your home screen or whatever.

[Barry]

Yeah. You put them all in like a. Like a folder.

[Tyler]

Android's been doing that for a decade. An iPhone just came out with it. Every single androider, they've been doing this.

[Barry]

For 200 years.

[Jared]

Before phones are invented.

[Tyler]

Guys, that was a fun little snippet from our Patreon episode last week. You can find all of our Patreon episodes at Patreon. Com? You betcha. Radio.