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A
All right, back to it. Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of you Bet yout Radio podcast. The boys are back in the studio, and I have something that I'd like to get off my chest.
B
Did somebody fart? Miles, what are you doing?
A
I, over the weekend, shaved my beard into a mustache.
C
Oh, my God.
A
It would be much better if you guys hadn't seen me up until this point, but I did it. I think. This is actually on my resolutions list.
B
Check it off. Yep.
C
Yeah. Do something weird with your facial hair.
B
Try something new.
C
Try something new.
A
So here I am.
B
All three of us had that resolution, and we've all done it.
D
Am I good?
B
Yeah, you're. I think. Yeah, you're good.
A
No, I'm not giving you.
D
No. I got a lot of energy today.
A
I know someone's always doing something like that. It doesn't matter if we're in here in a meeting. It's just always something with you. You're like the middle child, Just the king of derailment.
D
No fun zone. I do like the mustache, though.
A
Thanks, Ryan.
B
Let's go.
A
What was that to me? Inspiration for it I did for a video.
B
It's to me, Miles.
A
Yeah. I only did it for a video, and then I shaved it off. My wife screamed. She did not like it.
D
Really?
B
She's never seen your cheeks before, Right.
A
Basically asked me for a divorce. My kid was scared, and he just kept looking at me and kept just going like this.
D
Actually, yeah.
B
That's crazy.
A
So that was sad. And it was much longer before. But Anne made me trim it up.
D
So I guess I did forget about the kid factor. How he probably didn't even recognize you.
A
No, not right away.
B
He had to been confused because, like, that's dad's voice, but that's not dad's face.
A
Saw my niece over the weekend. She didn't know who I was.
D
Tired.
A
Said hi to everyone except for me,
B
who's weird guy with the mustache.
A
But. Yeah, I mean, I haven't. This has probably been 10 years since the last time I did this.
C
How do your cheeks feel on your face?
A
Yeah, I mean, it just feels wet all the time from the cool air on it. That makes sense.
B
Yeah.
A
Like right here. I kept. While I was outside, I kept thinking that I had like. Like I was. If I was drinking something, like, you know, I spilled or something because the cool air felt wet.
D
Maybe you were just drooling.
A
Yeah, maybe I just have always drooling. But I never tell.
D
Just get soaked up in the beard, but I don't know.
A
Shaving down to the skin and, like. Like, thoroughly washing my face felt kind of nice.
B
Oh, yeah, I'm sure.
A
And do you want to feel it, Ryan?
D
No, I'm good.
B
Okay.
D
I know. I know. I know what it feels like.
B
Trust me.
D
I've been in the mustache gang for.
A
I mean, now it's like, it's coming back, but it was for. For a full day there. It was, like, very strange.
B
What. What's gonna be the move going forward? You gonna keep it? How are you feeling about it? We know how your wife and kid feel.
A
I probably just grow the beard back. Pretty boring. Yeah.
D
Yeah. Nothing too crazy.
A
If I did keep it, it would be like I would just trip. I wouldn't go down to the skin. I just keep this a little bit long. Just have two different levels.
B
Okay.
A
You know?
B
Yeah.
A
You got the mustache, and then this is just cut shorter.
C
More of a shadow.
A
Yeah.
B
How many times? Because every dude that has a full beard does this when they shave. First you gave yourself a goatee, then you gave yourself handlebars, Then you gave yourself a Fu Manchu.
A
So I was on time crunch with this, so I didn't get to do that. We were shooting a video, and, like, we were fighting some daylight stuff, and so I just went for it. But, I mean, felt good to use, like, an actual razor again. I usually just use an electric shaver.
D
Did you clean the sink when you were done, or did you just leave it?
A
I cleaned it. I usually clean it. I mean, there's still stuff everywhere, but,
B
like, it's impossible to get it.
A
Yeah, it's like. Yeah, like. Yeah, like, it's like, I'll take. Like, I. When I shaved it all off, there's a huge clump in the sink. I just, like, ball that up and put it in the garbage. And then, like, do one of these around the sink, but there's just still beard hairs everywhere.
B
It'll keep appearing for, like, a week. Takes a full week to get every hair.
C
I highly recommend doing it outside shaving.
A
Oh, that's a good idea, Jared.
C
Highly recommend.
D
Speak for yourselves.
B
If you're doing all of it.
C
Yeah.
B
Unless you have a hand mirror, which I don't.
D
I take a lot of. Like, I take a lot of toilet paper, and I go all around the sink and brush it all in off the faucet and everything.
B
Yeah, yeah. Don't wet the sink. Dry sink is the best because then you can scoop it up easier.
C
Scoop.
D
I just. I just wash it down the drain.
B
Yeah, but before.
A
But if you have hair, like, we have your clog up your drain doing that.
D
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
So you got to scoop it out before you start rinsing, because if you put, put it all in, in the drain, you're going to plug the drain.
C
We have hair on our faces.
D
Ryan, am I seeing a different view than you are?
A
So, yeah, go ahead. In the chat, you go ahead and roast my mustache. I'm here for it.
B
Mustache is good.
A
No, I just. But just like what look like. Yeah, just go ahead and roast me what I look like now.
B
Pringles can.
A
Mario.
B
What's his nuts?
D
Ron Jeremy.
B
Ron Jeremy.
D
They got nothing out of that in the group chat. They're not a single. It was just crickets. There's crickets on the Pringles can too. Yeah, yeah, it's all right.
A
What do we said to respond with? Ha ha ha ha.
D
Well, you said that you.
C
Tyler, you did it again, buddy.
A
Yeah, okay. Next time I'll, I'll be.
B
I wasn't the one.
D
That's why the react like the reaction emoji is.
A
That's all you, it's critical. That's all you're looking for.
D
I mean, that's a response. Because you sending the picture of your massage in the group chat, that, that means that we need to respond on what we think. And then we did. But then it was just crickets before you trimmed it.
B
It was legit, like Lorax, bushy.
A
It wasn't. See my teeth when I smiled?
D
You know what you should have done? You should have kept the bottom lip too.
A
Just like a full circle. I saw one where a guy shaved this into look the same shape as his mustache. So he basically had a double decker mustache. I could have done that. That's all.
D
And then you could have done under your chin.
A
Yeah, yeah, like right here and then one like right underneath there.
B
Triple decker stash.
D
People from a distance are like, what? This guy's got the longest face.
A
You got your eyebrows, your mustache. It's like you got four eyebrows.
D
Yeah, yeah.
B
Grow a unibrow.
A
Yeah, yeah. It'd be a forehead stash.
D
Did you end up finding a good mustache cream or a mustache wax?
A
No. God, that was a disaster. So I wanted it because, because it was so long, I was gonna experiment with the mustache wax to like slick it side and like make it look real, like, nice. And I, I, I was busy. I did. So I said, ryan, while you're getting prop stuff, can you get me some mustache wax? And I, I, I grab it. It's on my desk. I Go grab it. I go to the bathroom to try it out. This is before I even shaved. And I started putting in there. I'm like, God, this seems like kind of goopy. It doesn't seem like wax. And then I look at the thing and it's just. It's just hair paste.
D
It's just like hair gel.
A
Hair gel for your hair. And I walk in, I go, did you just buy regular hair stuff? And he's like, what do you mean? It says beard right on it. And it said bird. So Ryan bought.
D
Ryan thought he was Byrd. Like, that's not even a word in the English language. So how. Even as an English speaking American, how am I even supposed to decipher that?
B
You're just a little dill sexic beard.
A
So, yeah, it just like, didn't. Didn't hold. Like I needed it to because the wax would have, like, stuck it together well.
D
And I. I found out that they got all kinds of holds. They got like a choke.
B
Yeah.
D
They got stranglehold. They have, you name it. Chokehold. They got like, no hole. That's like, okay, well, what's the point? What's the point of this then? I'm just an eight bucks.
B
Just the ritual of it.
D
Yeah.
C
I don't know anything.
D
So I. I was like, well, if it's any. If it's anything like hair gel. I don't know, like you. I thought you wouldn't want your mustache to be like, hard like hair gel, you know?
B
But that's what you got to do if you're doing the curls.
D
Yeah, well, see, I thought you were just going to do like the whole thing to just kind of moisturize it a little bit.
A
No, I was looking to slick it. I was looking to slick it like this.
D
I'll have to ask more questions.
A
Kind of like what you've been doing with yours. But you've had a lot more time to. To do that.
D
Yeah, I haven't done a single thing to this. I've never put anything in it.
A
No, but you keep going like this with it.
B
Comb. Yeah.
D
Yeah, I comb it.
A
You hand comb it.
D
Yeah. And I. Sometimes I'll twist the bottom so it. It gets a little bit longer down here anyway.
B
Yeah.
D
Mustache talk for anyone out there who doesn't have one. I feel for you.
B
So just grow out this part, Ryan, and then eventually you'll be able to wax it into a handlebar.
D
Yeah, Yeah, I might do that. Yeah. Buddy of mine used to have that.
B
Yeah.
A
You're gonna say something, Jared?
C
No, I got Nothing.
A
No.
C
Got it.
D
Are you gonna do anything with yours, Jared?
A
No.
D
Okay.
C
I left. I let it go. I'm all natural.
D
Let it go.
C
Maybe once a year I'll shave it, but that's about it.
B
I'd like to see you with a funky. Not even funky. Just like a goatee or something.
C
Maybe. Maybe I'll do it for money.
B
I like that.
A
Wait, you're gonna do what for money?
C
Have a goatee?
B
Yeah. I don't want to see it bad enough to pay you, but someone else might.
C
If people can venmo me and I'll put it as a goatee.
D
Yeah.
B
Goat fund me.
A
Goat fund me.
C
To a good cause. Yeah.
D
Yeah. People are expecting something else out of Jared when, like, for the goatfund me. Have you ever goaded somebody?
B
Oh, I know. Yeah. Yeah.
D
You guys are a little bit slow today.
A
Something that I wanted to bring up to you guys. So over the weekend, we posted a Teemu video. So if you haven't watched me and Charlie testing out teemu tools on YouTube, you gotta go check it out. But so we tested a bunch Timo tools, and obviously they, you know, some of them were not great. TEMU is relentless. I've now, in two days, had two people reach out to me saying they're from Teemu, that they saw the YouTube video, and they understand my concerns with their products and want to work with me to make their products better.
C
Really?
A
Two separate people?
D
I mean, we get emails weekly asking to.
B
Oh, God.
D
Asking to promote Timo that chair on temu.
C
How do you make that chair better?
A
Yeah, we just got one before I. Yeah. What's fun. My name is Evelyn. Reaching out. Timu. Timo recently came across your video. We seriously value your feedback. Apologize for any issues you may have experience. At temu, we strive to provide a great shopping experience. So they're just. Are they just paying people to find
B
negative reviews and bribe them into submission?
A
Yeah. I don't know.
C
Catch and kill.
D
Did you get to spin the wheel
A
when I did it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
D
One time of three gifts.
B
Did you get.
D
You get it? It lands on the best. Every best one every time.
B
Makes you feel special.
D
Yeah, I've been. There's been multiple times where I've probably.
A
But. But, like, it's. It's very strange because it's from. It's. It's from this Evelyn. And then there's zero posts, zero followers. So they're just, like, making Instagram accounts to message these people doing this crafty. And this is the profile photo. It's Just a side profile of a cat. So I might be messaging with a cat.
C
With cats.
A
Yeah. I don't know.
B
Bad news bears.
A
Steffi as well, reached out to me.
D
Steph. Yeah, I've talked to Steph a couple times.
A
Steffi. No, not Steph.
C
Ask Stephie if she knows Evelyn.
A
Yeah, there's Steffi. Yeah.
D
Yep.
A
She.
B
She's. She's a cat as well.
A
But I just couldn't believe that that was how they're doing that.
B
They're on it, though. Custom. You're not getting that from any other brands.
A
That's true. Like, what do you think that they would actually try and fix the things that are wrong with it? Like, how do you just tell temu? Like, it just sucks.
B
Okay. Call them on the. Call their bluff.
A
Just sucks. There's no power in this drill.
D
Yeah, you share and video chat them right now. See if they answer.
A
What's up, Evelyn?
D
Hey, Abby. Just wondering if you had a quick five.
B
How many times do we. On yeti? Not a single message.
A
It's true.
D
Yeah. They're not like, how come the products cheaper?
B
How can we make.
D
We would love to work with you on better.
C
How do we. How are we less douchey?
D
Yeah.
B
Yeah.
A
You don't give a.
B
No. They're like, thanks for the free commercial, kid.
C
Too busy cutting money.
B
Yeah.
A
Blowing their nose in 100 bills for their ivory tower.
B
Yeah.
A
So common misconception. Everyone thinks that I'm sponsored by yeti. Never once have ever made contact with YETI before. I'm just doing it for the love of the yeti.
B
Hate for the hate of the game.
A
For the hate of the game. Think we could have got money from them?
B
Maybe.
A
I don't know. Nah, it doesn't matter.
B
Yep.
A
Hated the. Well, yeah. Love of the hate.
B
Yeah.
A
Love of the hate game. So, yeah, I mean, it's. I was thinking about, like, I'll be fun to, like, do some big reveal with the mustache or whatever. And you know what, dude? It. I said over the weekend, I was like, we could do this. We could do a sketch. I was like, it. It's just. This is what my face looks like. We're gonna show up. We're gonna shoot the podcast. Not just gonna reveal it. It's fine. Doesn't matter.
B
Yeah, we were.
D
Doesn't matter if you were in your
A
own head, you know, like, you should
D
have reached out to me if you were in your own head about it.
A
As a fellow mustache guy.
D
Yeah. Someone who has revealed one on this podcast.
A
It's true.
D
I guess continuously grew one into what it is now.
A
I also kind of just like it better if we just post regular content and just, like, don't even acknowledge it. I think it's more shocking to people.
B
We were Game plan on Sunday, and I sent a message like, we got to shoot a video on Monday morning, and it doesn't matter how well we do, because it'll be the first one with Miles's mustache, so we know it's going to do well.
A
Yeah. And it. It's just like, what. What I've found with going from having a beard for 10 years and then sh. Doing the mustache is. I don't know if you guys know this, but you can't see your own face. Like, I can't see my face right now. And so you forget over time that you have a mustache. And then when you go somewhere where someone who hasn't seen you yet with the mustache sees you, they just, like. They start laughing at you.
D
Yeah, yeah.
A
Split second where you wonder, like, what the, man?
B
I got some of my teeth.
A
I've got a mustache.
D
Yeah.
C
What's your deal, bro?
D
Change.
A
So forgot I had the scar on my chin, too. That was kind of a nice.
B
No. Was that from.
A
Hey, you're there. There you are. That was. I cut my chin on the dock when we were bringing it in for the season. One year, split it right open. Five stitches or some.
B
Nice.
C
So when was that last year?
A
2013. 14. May 2014. Wow. Maybe 2015 even.
C
Jeez.
A
Probably 2015.
C
And then you grew a beard?
A
Well, I had a beard. I had to shave. I had to shave, like, a patch for them to do the stitches.
B
You had to shave your open wound?
A
Well, they did. When I was there before they did the stitches. They, like, shaved around it. But then I just had this big circle patch. Then I had to trim the rest of it. And then One other time 10 years ago, I did a mustache for a funsy weekend at the lake. Just like, just to be funny and then a little bit.
D
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
So, yeah, I'd also love to know what people think. Do you think I should keep it? You think I should let it go?
B
It's.
A
It's also, like, it's very trendy to have mustache right now, and so I also don't want to be a guy just jumping on the trends either.
D
I didn't jump on any trash, but
A
it is very trendy to have a mustache. You know, you're.
C
You copying Ryan and everything.
A
I know. That's what I don't Like.
D
Yeah, but also, it doesn't matter what other people think about it.
A
That's true. You know, just what I think about it.
D
It's just what you think about it. And your wife and kid.
A
But what I think about it also want to know what you guys think about it. And I take that into consideration because I'm not delusional.
B
Have the patrons vote on what. What he should do with his.
A
Because then I'm tied in.
C
They're all going to say Hitler.
B
Yeah.
A
They lost.
D
They weren't.
A
Till now.
B
That's. We know where my vote.
A
Patrons are. Predictable. Let's just throw it out there.
B
I want you to do. Instead of the triple mustache, do the triple decker Hitler. So you got Hitler soul patch.
A
That would be really great.
B
Chin patch.
A
Yeah. Yeah. Because then technically it's not the. It's not the pure Hill Hitler. It's like three times as bad.
B
You just look like a.
A
Three times the lines in a road.
B
You're in a. You're in a. His face looks like a passing zone.
A
Yeah. And then I shaved my eyebrows except for the unibrow. Yeah. Y Z. Yeah. Road for Halloween.
B
Diet blonde.
D
I think a lost design in the facial art community is the chin strap. You don't see many guys with chin straps anymore.
A
I think that's probably a good reason.
C
Because they suck.
A
Right? You want to be the one to bring it back?
D
I. I wouldn't be able to just get a Sharpie, but, like, there. I know a couple guys from back home. It would be like three hairs wide. So we're talking, like, down, straight up. Oh, my God. That was. And they were driving high school. They're probably driving, like, a 98 Mustang.
A
That's tough, you guys. It was tough back then.
B
Sure.
D
Tough scene. Not Brantley Gilbert. Yeah.
C
And you almost died today, Miles, by choking on a piece of gum.
A
Oh, my God.
B
In the middle of a meeting, Miles just starts fucking dry heaving. He's like a cat with a hairball.
A
I didn't want to swallow it. And then I did one big gag and it came up.
D
I've never seen something like that in my life.
A
No, I was scared.
B
I was. I was about to go get the garbage can because I thought he was gonna throw up on his computer.
D
I was about ready to sock him on the back.
B
Yeah.
C
Just imagine if you died. You'd have a mustache in your coffin.
A
Oh, no.
D
Yeah.
B
That'd be so embarrassing.
D
Yeah. And then everyone would be laughing when they showed up to the prayer service.
C
Are you fuckers laughing?
B
People would show up and be like, are we at the right funeral?
D
Who.
C
That guy was a goof. He did.
A
Yeah. That would suck. Like, if you were, like, a guy, like, shaved one eyebrow off as a bit, then you died immediately after. You have to be buried with one eyebrow. It sucks.
D
Yeah.
B
I just put that in my will.
A
Or like, you bleach your hair blonde for something, and then you die, and then you just have to die with blonde hair. That sucks.
C
Got the Nike logo shaved at the back of your. Guess that would be too bad.
D
You get that.
B
You get bug.
A
You do racing stripes as a joke, and then you die. Like that.
C
That would suck kind of a good bit, though.
A
Or like, I suppose they probably put makeup on you. But if, like, you died with, like, a really bad sunburn, does your skin just stay red?
D
I think it would turn, like. Because your skin turns white when you die.
B
Right.
D
So you'd probably lose the pigment. The pigment.
A
So you probably. You're fine on that, then. Probably.
D
I think you'd be okay.
B
I got the dumbest sunburn this weekend. I was.
D
How dumb was it?
B
I was sitting like you. It's very dumb. Can I tell you it?
D
Yeah. I mean, that's just a filler.
B
I was sitting like Ryan in a lawn chair for, like, two hours. So I just burned that side of my leg. Just the top bar looks ridiculous. Like, right down the split of my shin. It's white and then beet red.
A
Two Tone now. Two Tone Tyler.
D
That hip has to be pretty stretched out, though.
B
Yeah, it's a good way.
D
This is a great way to stretch the hips.
A
All right, Jared, what do we got for today?
C
What would make for the best summer of 2026?
A
Okay. All right, so what would make. What would make summer 2026 the best summer ever? I would say that if every weekend I could have either a kid's birthday party, a wedding, or some sort of joint baby shower, I think that that would probably make it the best summer ever.
B
That would be funny.
D
You could even hit the trifecta if you did that. Friday through Sunday, Friday weddings, Saturday kid's birthday, and Sunday joint baby shower.
A
That's a sound.
B
That's a full weekend.
A
A full weekend right there. That sounds really, really awesome.
B
Yeah, I think maybe this hantavirus. Maybe we should all go in lockdown for this summer. I think that would be awesome.
A
A. A a quarantine 2.0 could be great to make the best summer ever.
B
I've always wanted to quarantine during a really nice summer.
A
Me too.
C
You guys know I Love like bonfires. So you guys know that about me.
B
Yeah.
A
He's a notorious bonfire guy.
C
I want. I love the spell of them. So I want like wildfires all summer long.
A
Yeah.
C
Clothes.
A
If Canada could just rain ash down on the Midwest, that the best summer ever.
C
I would love that.
B
Maybe it's like the Brainerd Lakes area.
D
It's great for regrowth.
A
Yeah.
D
I mean there's true.
A
Yeah.
D
That would. Regrowth in the summer of 2026 would be amazing.
B
That should be we fest tagline this year.
D
Regrowth for 2026. On the note of fire. If. If someone else would come over and start my burn pile for me, that would make summer of 2026 the best.
B
So specific
D
on the topic of fire.
C
It was on topic.
A
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
D
And if the wind was. If the wind was towards my house, it would be even better.
A
Yeah. I think what makes summer 2026 the best ever is if like the H Vac goes out at my house like a bunch of times.
D
Yeah.
A
So I like have to go weeks at a time with no ac. That would make it really awesome. Then I get to see my boys. You like your guys?
D
You love your local H vac guys.
A
Yeah, I. I get to see my boys.
D
Yeah. Schedule them for the end.
B
Good.
A
Hang in the utility room at my house.
D
Yeah. Yeah. The utility room's underrated. Place to hang.
A
Actually it is.
D
Schedule it for later in the day too. So you can maybe. Maybe have a couple waters with the boys. Couple waters with the boys.
A
Couple brusques with the boys. There's only. That's the only way we'll be able to cool down. Tell you that much.
C
Yeah. They say they're coming between 12 and 5, but you think it's like midnight and 5am Yeah.
D
I've been feeling a little bit run down lately, so if I could like, like pop in an ACL or something. Be laid up for a couple months during the summertime.
B
Yeah, yeah.
A
Yeah. Getting a. Getting a really dumb injury would make it the best summer. Yeah. Like.
B
Like play some pickup football the first nice week of the year. Maybe break your leg. Yeah, that's a good idea. Maybe.
A
Maybe reluctantly join a pickleball game at the lake with the neighbors down the road. Pop your acl.
D
Yeah.
A
Out for the year.
D
Yeah.
A
That makes. That could make a great summer.
B
Yeah.
D
Precursor to that is playing pick up basketball at the lake without any shoes or socks on.
A
Yeah.
D
For about a. About a week or two. Cancel the next. Next day's tea time. Yeah.
B
I mean I think I could go for just a rainy summer. Just maybe every day. Maybe every other day. Yeah.
A
That would make it the best cozy summer ever. You know, you just curl up with a blanket.
B
Pretty much whatever's going to get me indoors this summer is going to make summer 2026 the best.
D
Yeah.
A
I think what would make summer 2026 the best ever is if we signed my kid up for a bunch of activities that we'd have to run them to. Yeah. You know, he's only two but you know, it's just never too early to get him into activities and run them around to swimming lessons. And they got kids two year old gymnastics. Gymnastics.
B
We did both.
D
Yeah.
A
You know, on the weekends. Maybe get them into some Montessori type. I don't know you on that Montessori type. So I could get. I think that that would make the summer really just be the best ever. If I spend most of the time running my kid around. Activities.
B
Ye. Yeah. And then not just running your kids around. I think, I think maybe I'll just sign up for every possible rec league for adults that I can.
A
That sounds great.
B
I think I'll. I'll think I'll have beach volleyball on Tuesdays. Then on Wednesdays I'll have pickleball league and on Thursdays I'll have slow pitch.
A
What's funny is, is there's people out there that do that.
B
It's crazy.
A
And that if you've ever talked to them, they're just. They seem so stressed.
B
Yeah.
A
But they're supposed to be having fun.
B
So you signed up. You literally signed your name on something for this?
A
Yeah. I have golf league that I'm in this summer. First one was canceled and honestly. Awesome. I could go for every single Tuesday. Them canceling golf league due to weather.
D
Yeah.
A
All summer long. And make it the best summer.
B
Yeah.
D
Potential for that happen.
A
Because why would I want to just go relax after work, play nine holes with the boys and drink a few beers, you know, it just sounds terrible.
B
You know, honestly, we would make 2026 summer batteries. Someone just stole my golf clubs.
C
Yeah.
D
Steal them.
A
Yeah.
B
I can't golf.
A
Yeah.
B
Keep me indoors again. Yeah.
D
Yeah. Well shoot me a 50 for it. They're all yours.
A
Another thing to make 2026 the best summer ever is if I went fishing every weekend and didn't catch a single fish.
B
Yeah.
A
Because it would remind me that I'm not out there to catch fish. I'm out there to make memories.
D
Exactly.
A
And what better memory than not catch any fish?
D
Well, what A. Yeah. What a better way for your kid not to look up to you because you don't know how to catch fish.
A
Yeah. Then I'm not. Then I'm not spending any time worried about reeling in the fish, and I could just spend time with my little guy. Yeah.
D
Untangling his line. Baiting his hook.
A
Taking the hook out of the back of my head.
D
Yep.
C
Him crying.
D
Yep. Yep.
A
Consoling him after he's crying for getting snacks.
C
You're gonna miss them.
A
They're gonna miss. Yeah.
C
You guys know I hate potholes. I hate potholes.
A
You've always said that.
C
I would like every road to be under construction this summer.
B
Yeah, that's a good idea.
A
Honestly, that's not the worst idea.
C
Yeah,
A
Jared. We should sacrifice one summer every decade and just do every single road under road construction, and then every other year after that, no road construction.
B
Road construction crews could get, like. They would get years off instead of just winter.
A
They're super busy for one year. We have to deal with terrible road construction for one year, and then we're good for nine.
C
Yep.
A
I like that idea, Jared. Let's just. We'll bundle it. We'll bundle it together.
C
Yep.
A
And I think that we all would be willing to sign up for one year of pain rather than one. One deep cut versus a thousand paper cuts. Yeah.
C
Rip off the bandaid.
A
Just rip it off. Let's do all road construction one year.
C
We're gonna sacrifice one summer. We're gonna get it done on time, under budget.
D
Road construction also just helps you slow down a little bit, both in your vehicle and in life, you know, because sometimes we just try and take life in the fast lane.
C
Yeah. And orange is a fun color to look at.
A
Yeah.
C
So.
D
Yeah. It reminds me of, like, pheasant on India.
C
Exactly. Yeah.
D
So it's like we get a little bit of fall in the middle of summer.
C
And, like, what else am I to look at when I'm driving, you know?
D
Exactly.
C
Not your phone.
D
Yeah, not your phone.
A
That could solve a lot of the problems that people have with road construction. And really doing it all in one summer makes all the following summers the best summers ever.
C
Exactly.
B
I could go for the diversion not working when it floods this year. That would make December 26th.
A
I like how you just divulge. This is what I could go for.
B
Yeah. Sorry.
A
Segment. That's fine. It's so natural. Yeah.
B
That would make summer 2020.
A
I could go for getting in a car accident on the way home today. You know,
D
road construction.
B
Yeah.
A
Because really, that's you need to save that for the best fall segment. That's more of a fall.
B
A spring. Snow, melt, floods.
A
Oh yeah, spring. Sorry, sorry. Case of the Mondays.
D
It's a mustache.
A
I got mustache.
C
Brain hair brain idea.
A
What else would make it the best summer ever?
D
One thing that would make 2026 the best summer yet is probably forgetting to apply for my deer tag this year. Middle of June. One of those. One of those things where. Yeah, yeah.
C
Or miss the battle.
D
It's easy to forget. You know what that. But that's okay.
A
Go on your phone right now actually and just eliminate all of the reminders you set for yourself. To do that I'll just block.
D
I'll block the website. Block the NDGF website.
A
Yeah. Don't even allow yourself on the website.
D
Yeah. Because then I know I'm going to
A
have the best summary and cancel your credit cards. You can't even pay for it.
D
There you go. There you go.
A
Make some really great is if I had my credit card stolen.
B
Yeah, I did it whole identity.
A
I I, I, I just can't think of a better way to spend my summer than than re plugging in my new card information to all the websites that I have subscribed to. You know all the websites that I'm subscribed to. You know all those.
D
Oh yeah, we do. We talk about them all the time.
A
I'd hate to have to re plug in my credit card information to Teemu.
C
Evelyn gets on the line.
B
Freaking Steffi.
C
My buy a passport expired. This ever would be the best ever.
A
That would be yours. Yeah.
D
You don't have a passport. That's a lie. Having your truthful podcast. You don't. You just told me two days ago you don't have a passport. So you can't sneak that one by.
A
Do you have any plans to get a passport?
C
No, I don't.
A
Why don't you want to leave the country?
C
I like where I am.
D
I really like where there's so much to see.
A
But there's a America.
C
America is a crock pot of all cultures. I don't need anything else.
B
Got a point.
A
It does not have a point.
B
The melting pot.
A
No. We are the dollar general version of all those cultures.
C
Truly, I don't have a desire.
B
You would.
A
I feel like you would love an all inclusive resort in Mexico.
C
I would.
A
Yeah.
C
I would like to go to you not.
D
Oh, you would eat that up. Quite literally.
A
You'd be like you would on your. You would be on your all inclusive resort vacation in Mexico. You would put in For PTO next year. For next year's.
D
That's how much you'd enjoy.
A
That's how much you enjoy it.
C
Yeah.
A
Maybe some resort.
C
Yeah, I just, I don't. I haven't made any plans to go anywhere.
A
You know, we're not saying you should go to Japan and experience all of the local culture and get into anime. Like, you know, we're not saying that. Just, just. Yeah, just go to Mexico into an all inclusive resort. I think you'll love it.
D
Okay. See, I think that's where you're looking at it. It in the wrong way though, is you said you don't have any plans to go anywhere, but it's not good
A
to apply for your passport plans.
D
Yeah.
A
Because it adds all this extra stress. Trust I've done it. Like, is this thing going to come in time? Am I going or am I not?
D
Could take six months, could take six days. You just don't know.
C
I should just do it now.
D
It's. Yeah, you should. Okay, but Walgreens or something that you give you a photo taken there or something.
C
Okay. I've never been to Canada either. Never been out of the country.
D
Really?
B
Yeah.
A
This is the year. This is the year. This is the summer of the passport for you, Jared.
C
Apply for a passport?
A
Yeah.
C
Okay.
A
Which is funny because also that sounds like the best summer ever is trying to line up a passport appointment, going, finding all of the documents that you need because you. You'll never bring enough.
B
Getting rejected at the counter after waiting in line for an hour four separate times because you don't have the right documentation.
C
I do think my TSA PreCheck exp theirs this year.
A
Oh, does that mean my. Didn't we get at the same time?
B
Yeah, we. I think we all got it at the same time.
C
I think I got mine like a year before you did.
A
Oh, yeah. How are you so cool?
D
How are you even supposed to know?
A
Cool. You're just so much more pre checked than me. That's fine.
D
How are you even supposed to know that it's expiring? Because they don't give you like a physical card or anything, do they?
C
So here's what I did, Ryan. I set a reminder on my phone of when it expires.
D
No.
A
Yeah, it's a really, really smart idea. It's basically the same version of putting a date in your jeans when you buy it.
C
Exactly.
D
Yeah, that's very true.
C
Exactly.
D
It's tough to resell jeans, though, when there's a date on them.
B
Maybe what happened on this day, maybe
A
you should spend less time with reminders, Jared, and more time planning a trip abroad.
C
Okay, I'll set a reminder to think more time about that.
A
Jared goes to. Jared goes abroad one time. He comes back, he's just a completely changed man. He's got a never wears black sweatshirt.
C
Cow.
B
He smokes skinny cigarettes.
A
He just has the perfectly circled eyeglasses that he wears now.
C
Monocle.
A
Yeah. Well, no.
C
Oh, yeah.
D
Like Harry Potter glasses.
C
Gotcha.
D
Yep.
B
Yeah.
C
Harry Potter. He's not American, is he?
B
No, no.
D
Harry Potter.
B
British.
C
British. See, I can see where he lives if I go there.
A
Yeah, I mean you could. You could actually just go to the Harry Potter world in. Isn't that in or something?
B
Yeah.
A
Or.
B
There you go. You don't need to le. All right, Jared, you can get off.
A
You know what? When I get home at Harry Potter. Jared, you convinced me. When I get home, I'm cutting up my passport.
C
Burn it.
B
Hell yeah.
A
Let's start a wave of that.
D
You go to Chinatown.
A
You know, the way we attack them Italy. The way that we attack the national debt is by cutting out our passports and only spending money here in the U.S. that's true. Let's start cutting up passports.
D
Yeah. Block the Teemo app. That ain't helping.
C
A passport burning like a book burning.
A
Yeah. And it. At first it seems like an anti American thing, but the. The reason why we're doing it is so that we stay here and spend all of our money. But it kind of do. You know what I mean?
C
I got you.
A
We might have to find a different way to market it because it seems like we're sending the wrong signal. No, I'm burning my passport because I'm pro American. I don't want to leave.
B
I'm not leaving.
A
Actually, the most anti American thing you can do is get a passport. Yeah.
C
Stay here.
A
Yeah. I never thought about that. So you're true American.
B
Yeah. It's like Stefan Diggs liking other teams posts.
C
He's.
B
He's hinting that he wants to leave. That's us having a passport.
A
Yeah, that's true. I feel guilty now. I feel like it's scum.
C
You guys are all Stefan Diggs.
B
Yeah.
C
And I'm somebody.
B
Yeah. People get pumped oil as. Dude. These hosing you are Harrison Smith.
D
People get pumped about all the stamps and inside their. Their passports too. That's not a stamp of honor.
C
Yeah. Get hyped over US stamps.
D
That's right.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
D
75 cents a pop.
A
Now I'm gonna get them. I'm gonna get A book and just start collecting stamps and putting them in there. Because I'm so pro American.
C
That's very American.
A
That is American.
C
Support the post office.
D
I'm gonna learn.
A
Yeah, I never thought about that. That's kind of anti American. To get a passport. You're trying to leave.
C
Where you going?
A
Where are you going? Why the. You need to leave?
D
Yeah.
C
What do we.
B
What do they have that we don't?
A
This is the greatest country in America.
B
Exclusives in Florida.
A
This is the greatest country in America. In the world. This is the greatest country in the world.
D
Oh, cut that out, Jerry.
C
Feels so patriotic.
A
You are.
C
Yeah.
A
Great spins on by you.
D
There's probably a eagle flying outside.
A
That was a miles master class in a goal post moving scenario.
C
Very rare for me.
A
Yeah, that was great. Yeah. I would say that if we can just get those things done this summer, I think it could be the best summer ever. What do you guys think?
D
Yeah, I agree.
A
One for the books.
D
Check them all off the list.
B
Give me a movie.
D
Let's go, dude.
A
Should we take a break?
D
Yeah.
A
All right, guys, I got my shady rays on. I want you guys to Spitfire. Spitfire. Spitball. Rapid fire. I want you to. Did I combine spitball and rapid fire? You invented a new word, guys.
B
A spitfire. I tell you what.
A
Spitfire. I want you guys to spitfire them at me. What do I look like right now with these sunglasses and my mustache?
B
Little league baseball coach that didn't quite make it to the big leagues and always reminds his players how much. How good he was back in the day.
A
Oddly specific that you said that about Ryan.
D
Hey.
A
Oh, yeah.
C
You look like the coolest guy driving the pontoon. You're definitely a pontoon driver.
A
With the Tyler.
B
You look like a guy that owns at least 10 cutoff shirts.
A
Oh, yeah.
C
Yep. You look like you get a wicked farmer's tan.
A
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I got a lot of cutoffs, so kind of.
C
Oh, yeah?
A
Yeah.
B
Even weird.
A
I weirdly, I. Weirdly, I wear cutoffs only, but I still have a farmer's tan.
C
Yeah. Yeah.
B
You look like a guy that gets super drunk at a tractor pole.
C
You look like you love monster trucks.
B
Yeah, I do. Oh, yeah.
A
So, guys, if you had a mustache and you want to look like some of those guys. No, These shady rays are great. I've been wearing mine now for a couple months, right? Yeah. And that's about long. I've had them and I love them. They do exactly as they need to. They're durable. They don't feel like a cheap pair of sunglasses. Even though they are good price, they feel like those 200 glasses, even though they're not 200. And plus, you look like a badass with a mustache and a pair of Shady Rays. So you guys got to go to shadyrays.com, check them out. And guess what you thought it was crazy that they were doing. Buy one, get one. Wait, what was it? Buy two or more sunglasses, get 40 off, they said. You know what? We're. We're gonna help you out even more if you buy two or more polarized glasses. Now you get 50 off.
B
That's 50. That's half off.
A
It's half off.
B
That's awesome.
A
So you gotta go to shadyrays.com. you're gonna get some good sunglasses for a great price. If you think about it, just call YBR too.
B
Yeah, if you think about it, you're getting a whole lens for free.
A
It's true. All right, Jared, we have a draft.
C
We have a draft.
A
All right, what's the draft?
C
Best places for your car to break down.
A
Oh, the best place. The best places for your car to break down. Draft. Who gets to go first?
C
Ryan does.
A
Nice. And then we're going this way or you this way.
C
We'll go clockwise.
A
So I'm last. That sucks.
D
Let's go.
B
It's great for snake draft.
D
Snake draft. You get back to backs.
A
No, I know, but I. I have a feeling that there's like, mine are going to get taken him.
D
It's all mindset. Four picks.
C
Four picks. That's about it. Steak draft. That's about all the rules.
A
This is this. Actually, we did find one thing we can't really mess up. We've had very few arguments during a draft.
B
Yeah.
A
Other games and activities. It usually divulges into us getting pissed at Jared.
D
The argument is like, if someone takes booze, can the other take like. Like a fridge?
A
There is a little.
B
There's been some scraps between you two on the amount of things you can bundle into one pick.
C
Is that what semantics means? I've heard that word a lot lately.
B
Like, it doesn't matter.
D
Is that what semantics is?
A
It's like, I feel like it's nitpicking a little bit, right? It's semantics.
B
I'll find you the.
D
I think it's the opposite of anti. Semantic.
C
Sounds good, right? Took me a minute.
B
The study of meaning in language and logic. Okay, so rather than focusing on. It's basically, you're focusing on the grammar and the wording of things instead of actually the actual issue.
D
Okay.
B
This Is semantics. We're.
A
We're.
B
We're so hung up on what this one word means and how it changes the sentence. But we both know that's not the fucking.
A
But we both know we need to just do this draft and Ryan starting. He's on the clock. Starting right now.
D
Pick number one in the draft. I'm going the golf course. Okay. With my clubs in the back. Both me and the clubs. Obviously getting out safe. If there's a fire, car breaks down. Golf. Golf course parking lot. Great place to break down, honey. Mechanics can't get here until tomorrow.
A
Yeah. It's like, quite literally. I. I cannot come home.
B
I'd love to, but I can't.
A
I'm trying. I'm trying everything. No one has jumper cables.
D
And don't try and come pick me up. I think there's some spike strips back there that I hit or something. Don't try and come pick me up. I'll figure it out.
A
Spike strips everywhere.
D
It might be okay.
A
All right, Jared.
C
Mine's gonna be in front of a hooter parking lot. A lot of dads there to help mother.
A
That would be my number one pick. He, me. Word for words.
B
Son of a.
A
You. Absolutely me.
D
You all three had a hooters.
B
No, I'm just. I'm ripping on.
D
Why Hooters, Jared?
C
There's a lot of dads there to help her cables. They know this problem.
B
Yeah. Yeah.
A
You get a little hungry.
C
Get a little hungry.
A
You got some great wings.
C
Great place to kill time.
D
The wings are good.
A
You know, a nice cold beer to cool you off after you're done working on your car.
B
If it's a job well done, you got grease on your hands and the beer on the bar.
D
Yeah. It's like road construction. Hooters. Everything's kind of the same, orange and white. A lot of good stuff to look at.
B
Yeah.
D
From what I've been told by you.
C
Yeah, you nailed it.
B
So my. My first overall pick is going to be the mechanic shop top. That'd be a great place for my
D
car to break down. I think you could have got that one later on.
A
Way later.
D
I was gonna take it.
C
It's very practical.
B
Yeah.
A
For, like, the first time ever. The first two picks were, like, actually ones that people wanted. Third pick, we lost it.
B
That's a great spot to break down. I'm back on the road in 30.
D
If you want to be back on.
A
If you want to be back on the road.
B
I just. Yeah.
A
I don't know if you.
B
It's gonna be A lot of golf played by like, like 48 holes. You're gonna be like, all right, somebody. Somebody come fix my car.
D
I mean, I mean, even like Jared's pick of Hooters. Like, Hooters could be right next to an auto body shop that they could come and get it.
B
But it can't be now because I took auto body.
D
Jared still couldn't drive home from Hooters because he's ship faced.
B
That's true.
D
So it doesn't even matter.
B
Jared.
A
Yeah.
B
You're gonna be really sick of Hooters, but what are you gonna do when they close and your car still doesn't run one?
C
Yeah, that's a Tyler.
D
You should have.
C
Cars are closed.
D
Yeah, you should have taken Twin Peaks next. Next to an Autobot. Next to a Jiffy.
A
Yeah, I should have.
B
I should have bundled. You're right.
A
Can I go or not? I'm just gonna. You guys is all gonna take my. Before I can go, we. I.
D
We didn't take anything. I was what?
A
Number four. My pick is Twin Peaks and number five pick in the draft is the Tilted Kilt. That's where I want to break down.
B
What is the Tilted Kill.
A
Look it up, Jared. Google it.
D
I think you could have got that later on.
A
Permission to Google. I wasn't gonna pick that one.
C
One Tilted Killed.
B
I think this is.
D
I think you could assign Twisted.
A
It's.
B
It's.
A
I was gonna try and do the full run. I was gonna try to go Hooters, Twin Peaks, Tilted, Killed. And then. And then I was gonna come across another one in my brain.
C
Come where?
B
Yeah. You're gonna what?
D
This a southern thing or Scottish?
B
Scottish. The kill thing.
D
So we're a melting pot.
A
So I'd like to break down outside Twin Peaks or the Tilted.
B
There's your next pick. Shades of Hunks.
A
So pretty self explanatory why I'd want to break down there. Great food, great brews, great atmosphere.
B
With my drive strategy.
A
To what?
D
Tilted Kilt.
A
I've not been to Tilted Kilt.
D
I've been always places you want to go, though.
A
And then the one place where my parents vacation that shut down, so I never even got to go.
C
Hate when that happens.
A
But I'll find one.
B
My draft strategy.
A
I'll break down outside of one.
B
All right. Yeah.
A
Is this about just going like 30 miles an hour? If I go by a Tilted Kill, I'm gonna. I'm gonna slam it in park.
C
Transmission blows.
A
I'm just gonna. I'm gon neutral. I'm a rev My engine till it blows outside of a Tilted Kilt. And I have to go in and use their phone.
C
Phone's dead.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
My draft strategy for this. This one is. Is to be practical. So my number, my second pick, it'd be in my front yard. Be at home, have my car break down at home. I got. I'm right there.
A
Again. Your draft stinks.
B
I'm just. I'm home. I don't have to worry about getting home because I'm there.
A
I'm again, I'm not worried about getting home. I'll take the Greyhound if I have to.
B
Greyhound makes stops at the Tilted Kilt.
C
Yep.
A
It does if it's the right one. Yeah. Okay.
C
It sure does.
A
If it doesn't, should. You got. You got two more picks to turn this around.
B
Yeah, no, I. I'm going practical. I got the mechanics and my own home.
C
This is a steal. I love this pick. Jay Leno's garage.
A
A steel.
C
That's a steel.
D
Okay.
A
And I would love to hear the explanation behind this.
C
He's really good. He's funny. Number one, it's Jay Leto.
A
He's got a huge chin.
D
Subjective.
C
But he's got a lot of cars.
A
He does.
C
So something to look at while the cars.
A
Maybe you could trade him something. Yeah.
D
Get a loaner.
C
Get a loaner.
D
Yeah.
C
And he knows how to fix cars. So it kind of checks three boxes right there.
A
That is true. That is very true.
C
Ask about Conan.
A
Yeah. I mean.
C
Yeah.
A
That work? Yeah. Conan.
B
Yeah.
D
What happened to him?
A
And Conan had a huge beef back. You don't know anything about n show rivals?
D
I mean, I'm not a night show guy. I watch good tv.
C
You know what's junk?
A
Do you know who Jay Leno is?
D
Yes. He's got. He's got a different car to drive every day of the year.
A
Is that what he says?
D
That's what he said. I don't know if it's true or not, but my second pick of the draft. Casino.
A
Oh, that's good. That's really good. He's got great draft so far.
D
Casino.
A
I got a little distracted by the. By the restaurants and I. Yeah. So you're going.
B
Yeah.
A
It's a great pick. What's your next pick?
D
That's.
A
I know. That's.
D
That's what I'm trying to get.
B
Oh, no, keep rambling.
A
Start the clock. Start the clock.
C
Be a Vikings mixed. Best pick.
D
Casino is my second pick.
A
Did you forget you had two in a row?
D
No, I. I didn't. I just. I mean, yeah.
A
The thing about stopping outside of a casino breaking down is you do have a chance to pay for whatever bill to fix your car.
B
That's true.
C
And it's open 24 7, so they're not going to kick you out.
A
That is true.
D
I think I'll probably go hotel there, too. You.
C
Exactly.
B
Yeah. You know, you can get a voucher if you gamble enough.
D
Exactly.
B
They want you to stay.
D
Exactly. Yep. You get a buffet dinner. Steak buffet dinner. Damn. Like Golden Corral mixed in with casino. Ah, let's see.
B
You might even get to watch Def Leppard cover band.
D
Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Or like Ice Cube or something.
B
Yeah. Or somebody.
D
Joe.
B
Maybe Motley Crue is going on this summer.
D
Yep. Ja Rule. Rule. Ja Rule. I tried to get. I tried to see him at Fyre Fest, but that fell through. My third pick, I'll probably have to say. I mean, I could get this one whenever, but I have to go with it now. Probably outside of a card shop.
C
Okay.
B
Okay.
D
Hobby. Yeah, hobby. With something to do while I'm sitting there waiting, you know?
C
All right.
A
Make money at the casino. Spend it all at the cards card
D
shop and then go buy a golf membership with all my winnings.
C
Okay. Oh, I'm debating between two. I think I get both. My dad's driveway number three.
A
Okay.
B
That was my next one.
A
Yep.
C
Practicality.
B
Yeah. You okay.
D
I'm going.
A
Practicality.
D
Well, I know.
A
I'm.
B
Yeah. Yeah. I'll be done before you. You're right. No, you have one more.
A
You know. That's true.
D
Yep.
B
You're a piece of.
A
What would your day if you broke down your dad's driveway? Is he excited to help? Is he gonna be mean to you? What's the deal?
C
He gets, like, super focused on those type of things, like he has no time for.
A
Yeah, it's like. It's like. It's like.
C
All right.
B
Right.
A
This is what I'm doing for the rest of the day.
C
Exactly.
A
I'm getting this thing running, and if I can't get running, I'm going to figure find someone who can get it running.
C
Exactly. There's really no emotions involved. It's very straightforward.
A
Yeah.
C
It won't get done.
B
I think I can. I can find a way to salvage this. Is it me? My grandpa's driveway is my third pick.
D
If this was fantasy, you'd have F minus draft.
A
What is your draft right now?
B
The mechanic shop up my own home and then my grandpa's driveway. None of you guys are worried enough about how the car is Getting fixed.
A
That's kind of.
D
That's the point.
A
You know, normally we have to explain this to Ryan.
B
No, none of you guys having to
A
explain this to you.
B
You're not worried enough.
A
What is and what do you. Is your grandpa come out and fix it?
B
Yeah, he'll have the time of his life. He might. What if nature give me shit? Like, you'll check the oil, figure whatever the problem's wrong, and then he'll be like, why didn't you do this? And then he'll be pumped to fix it all day.
A
All right, for my third pick, I'm gonna pick in front of a Margaritaville.
B
Oh, nice.
C
Great pick. That's a great pick.
D
That ran through my head two seconds before you say that said that. I you not.
A
So you still.
B
You stole it.
A
Yeah. You stole that.
D
That means it's a good pick though.
C
Yeah.
D
Somebody if you steal it. I mean, it's a good pick.
A
And I think for my fourth and final pick, I think that I. Oh, I will break down at Tyler's bunker.
B
Oh, it's a good spot to break down.
A
Good spot to break down. It's got food for months.
B
You'll never have to leave.
A
I'll never have to leave. I'm safe.
B
Yep. My final pick is at the car dealership. I'm just gonna be leaving with the new set of wheels.
C
It's a good pick.
B
Thank you, Jared.
C
It's a good.
B
Thank you.
C
It's a good pick.
B
I'm the only one getting home in a timely manner.
A
You're so worried about getting home.
B
Yeah, I like being there.
A
So worried about that.
B
I like place.
A
Is your wife that mean to you that if you don't get home on time, she's up your ass?
B
No, she's that nice to me. I can't wait to get back to her. I hope she listens to this episode
C
better.
D
Hope you got the vasectomy though. You got to restrain for.
B
Well, yeah, but in two months.
A
We're not. We're not talking about the vasectomy on this episode. Moving on, Jared.
C
Taco Bell.
A
Okay.
C
Kind of open 24 hours a day.
B
Kinda kind of, yeah.
A
Not since COVID Everyone stopped doing that.
C
I know, but I said because.
A
Because Kovid was really rampant at night during COVID So it's best that they just shut down all the 24. 7 places at night so that. Because more people are getting covet at night.
B
I think they're on bar hours, aren't they?
C
Not sure. Can I. Can I change my pick?
A
I don't necessarily know if that's how it works.
D
You.
A
You could. Oh. The only way you can do this is if you trade that to Ryan for his last pick of the draft. So, Ryan, do you want Taco Bell?
D
I don't know.
B
God damn it. You got to give him some extra Taco Bell or something else.
A
Well, you have to see, you can still pick up. You can pick up that pick. And I'm drafted. Free agent it.
D
Okay, I'll take. I'll take Taco Bell and a free pass in the spelling bee. And one wrong. One wrong.
A
This is not how that works. Not how that works.
B
From players he drafted. He can give you multiple of his picks.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
For your last pick, he can give you Taco Bell and his dad's driveway.
D
I don't want any of those.
A
You. You love hanging out in Jared's dad's driveway.
C
You love J. Leto.
A
You love cars.
B
Who was your first one?
D
Hooters.
B
Oh, yeah.
A
You might have to give up Hooters if you want to do that. For his last pick.
D
I'll pass on Hooters. I got a good one coming up next.
B
Give them all three first.
A
We'll find out after the draft. Maybe you can still pick them up. Undrafted free agent. Hopefully Jared or Ryan doesn't take it.
D
Okay, locked in.
C
Okay.
A
Yeah, I already said it.
D
Fourth and final pick. I'm taking my. My college buddy's driveway.
B
Nice.
C
That's a good pick, right?
A
You guys love driveways. I know.
D
It is the only driveway I took, and there's like, I. I haven't seen him in a long time, you know?
A
All right, what was your. What if you're free? Agency is open. Jared, what were you going to pick?
C
I was going to pick a Taco Bell KFC combo.
A
Yeah. That's a great bundle. You really missed that opportunity. But you did pick them up.
C
Yeah.
D
If you would have traded me Taco Bell, though, you couldn't have taken the combo. Taco Bell, kfc.
A
You could have.
C
Have maybe.
A
It's a bundle.
C
I could have done an IHOP Applebees.
B
You could have.
C
Dude, we passed one of those in Wisconsin.
D
An IHOP Applebees. No.
A
All right, so in the draft of places you want your car to break down, yours was what, Ryan?
D
Golf course, casino, card shop, and college buddy's driveway.
C
Mine was Hooters, JLo's driveway, JLo's garage, Dad's driveway, and a Taco Bell KFC combo.
A
No, no, it was just Taco Bell. No.
D
Just kind of 24. 7. And you actually broke down the hours they weren't open.
B
You gotta wait for them to reopen at 10am Yep.
C
It's part of the rules. You're right, Ryan.
B
I got a mechanic, my own house, Grandpa's driveway and the car dealership. I'm getting home.
D
We know.
A
I. Can I trade you Jared? Okay.
D
Floor's open for trades post Draft.
A
Is there any of them that you're. You want of mine? What?
D
We're years again. Twin Peaks, Margaritaville. Margaritaville.
A
And what was my last pick?
B
My Bunker.
A
Oh, yeah. I'll trade you Bunker and Margaritaville for Hooters.
C
Deal. I'll do. Yeah.
A
All right, I got the trifecta. The big three. Not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six championships. So now I got Hooters, Twin Peaks and Tilted Kill.
C
And Margaritaville.
D
You're just one.
C
Oh, no, I got. Yeah.
B
You're one restaurant away from the Four Horsemen. You're missing Chippendales. And that's it.
A
Yep. You should.
D
Yeah. Yeah. With Hooters, you could have been a little bit more strategic with geographics. Like a Miami. Miami, Florida Hooters or something like that.
A
Yeah.
D
So next time you just take that into consideration.
A
The original Hooters.
D
Yeah.
A
Yeah. The Ridge. No, I'm happy with that draft. We. We gave up a player, but I think it was worth it. We gained so much more.
B
Draft.
A
Yeah.
C
Got swindled.
D
Yep.
A
I. If I had to give my draft a score, it'd probably be like a D or like a double D. Nice.
D
Like out of 100, it'd be like a 34. And out of grade wise, it'd be
A
a. Yeah, probably like a 38. I don't know. I don't know what those numbers mean, to be honest.
D
Yeah. I'll give you a 48.
A
I got a double D. I was hoping for like a double G. Sure. Grading
D
double F. Yeah. We talk it over?
A
Yeah. In this case, I got a double F score and Tyler got an A on this type of grading scale.
C
It actually kind of works.
A
Start rating stuff on that scale.
B
There's a size for everybody though, or score for.
A
You had a great. A draft. Yeah.
C
A1 draft.
A
Oh, yeah. That's so dumb. All right, what else you got for us, Jared?
C
Fun fact. Shakespeare invented these words. Bedroom bump, dawn, excitement, leapfrog, priceless and zany.
A
I don't get how you can just invent words so I could just be like. I. I can't even think of a word that isn't a word.
B
That just shows how much Of a genius. He was.
A
I could just make something up and it just works or what I get.
B
If you're.
A
And if enough people read it, then I'm. Then it just becomes a word.
B
If you're famous enough. I guess.
A
I suppose it is kind of how we got like, like, like tweet. Yeah. In the sense of a tweet. Right. Or like, like Kleenex became a word because it was the brand name. You know, Makes sense. So what would I. A little bit slower.
C
Bedroom. Bump. Dawn. Excitement. Leapfrog. Priceless. Zany.
D
Sounds like a hell of a night in the bedroom.
A
I mean, leap.
D
Froggy.
A
Just. Just combine two words.
B
Zany. Feels like a made up word.
A
Yeah, that one. But a bedroom. He made a bedroom. What was it called before bedroom?
B
The chambers.
D
He was bumping in the bedroom.
B
Sleeping chambers.
C
With a lot of excitement.
D
Drinking. Don Julio.
C
Zany.
B
Like dawn like you wear something. Or dawn, like the break of day.
C
Breakup day.
D
D A W N. I was thinking Julio.
A
Fun fact, Jared. Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of you Bet your Radio. Have a great week. Oh, you betcha. Yeah. Yeah.
C
Oh, I always forget.
A
Now bring it in.
B
We're done.
C
I have a co worker who wanders down to my desk every day while I'm eating my lunch. I've made several comments to him indicating that I like to eat my lunch in peace, but I don't think he's catching the hint. How do I get the guy to off?
A
This is how bored you were. You're also asking questions.
B
I, I, I sympathize with you. Sympathize with you, Mike. But I, My co workers got it pretty quickly. You guys didn't. You didn't bug me.
A
Yeah, it's because you're a. Yeah, I just.
B
Oh, I just went into a room where you could shut the door.
D
Yeah, you and I, we ate it two tables down from each other the other day.
B
Yeah, we did.
D
Yeah, I was busy. I was. I was fucking locked in. You got it.
B
Ryan gets it. So. I don't know.
D
I also like to eat lunch in peace.
B
Yeah.
D
Not enough to where I'll like, verbalize it, but I do like to eat lunch and peace.
B
Well, I didn't need to verbalize. You guys are just like, why do you guys. Why do you do that all the time? I'm like, because I like to eat alone.
D
I think it was because you went to a separate room. Is. Which is why we asked.
B
Yeah.
A
I feel like it started because you were getting a. No, you brought up that you Were annoyed when we asked what you're eating for lunch.
B
No, I never brought that up. I was asked.
D
No, you said that.
B
Yeah. Because I was asked why I always eat alone. I'm like, well, I don't like being.
C
Got it.
D
Okay, sure.
B
Yeah.
A
Got it.
B
And then I did move to the room with the closed door because I listened to audiobooks and I feel like it would be weird if I was just in the communal space with my audiobook player and.
D
Yeah.
A
But also like, maybe that could be kind of a vibe. Maybe everyone eats silently and listens to Tyler's audiobook out of context. And then we can spend the rest of the days with doing book club.
B
Sure.
D
It is kind of like watching a show with your wife.
B
Yeah.
D
It's like if, like, let's say you and I had an audiobook that we listened to only at lunch at work.
B
True.
A
You know, would you be willing to do that?
B
Yeah, I'd do that.
D
Yeah, totally, Jacob.
A
Yeah.
C
Yeah.
A
No, no. Every other book you guys have to
B
switch off, I'd be fine with that.
A
You guys would now you guys would kill each other. Would pick high fantasy. It'd be the nerdiest ever. And then I'd probably like it if I ended up.
B
No, no, I'd pick. That's entry level. So he wouldn't like get thrown into the crazy nerdy high fantasy stuff.
C
Yeah, Project Hail Mary would be a great audiobook.
B
It would be. You would like that.
A
It was a fine book.
C
Yeah, but Ryan's a surface level guy.
B
Yeah, there's some deep in Hail Mary. All the math checks out.
A
A lot of math.
D
The one thing that bugs me the most is when. And the, the guy in the office down the hall, he's, he's notorious for this, this. But they'll ask what I'm, they'll ask what I'm having for lunch, even though they can see it right in front of them on the table. That Noah.
A
So like, at what point do we just go like, this is just, this is just like a nice workplace that people are like wanting to chat with you.
D
No, I, I, I don't.
A
You know what I mean?
D
Yeah.
A
Okay, so Noah's in his office by himself all day editing videos and he just wants a little face to face.
D
No, you're right. The thing was, so it's just such
B
a, a pointless question.
A
He's not asking, he's not genuinely wondering
B
about that, but he could just say, what's up, Ryan?
D
Yeah.
B
Instead of, what are you eating? Is that lasagna on your Plate two feet in front of me yesterday was barbecue.
D
So I had. I had my. I had my Tupperware of. Of barbecue meat just sitting on the table.
A
What kind of meat is that? Could be.
D
I. I think he was like, barbecues today. No, no, I'm just gonna eat the bun. You know, I'm. I'm gonna skip the barbecue. Even though it's in a bowl that was already heated up. Yeah.
A
No, I'm with Ryan. You guys are mean. I'm.
C
I'm.
B
I couldn't be more with you.
A
You know what sucks? You know what, you guys, no one ever asked me what I'm eating for lunch.
D
You don't eat.
A
Yeah, but I'd love it if you guys still ask.
B
And then even when you. When you were eating lunch here, you told us before, we, like, it's very. Another salad, guys.
D
We didn't get a chance to check out these bars.
B
Yeah.
C
Chick fil A today.
D
Yeah.
A
I mean, come on. That's called being a nice guy. Yeah.
D
How are you?
A
How I'd love to discuss my lunch with you guys.
D
How are you with other people telling you what they're having for lunch?
B
Couldn't care less.
A
But you listen. I will.
B
Out of politeness.
D
Yeah.
B
I'm not going to be like, don't talk to me.
A
All right, so let me get. All right, so let's clear the air, boys. Like, what. What's. Okay. Talking like I. When you guys talk sports cards, I don't walk in here and just go, oh, these guys are always talking about sports cards. It pisses me all off.
C
I think he did that a couple weeks ago.
A
What's okay to talk about in the office then? Work.
B
Yep.
D
Yep.
A
All right. Work.
D
Hobbies. Hobbies outside of work?
A
Well, no, because wasn't someone bitching about Someone showing trail cam picks they don't care about? Was that on Belly up?
B
I don't know.
D
I love seeing trail.
B
It was. That was a.
A
That was probably bellied up.
B
It was a video idea that I had that things that guys can't help but doing. And it was showing a trail camera pick.
C
The second that was bellied up.
A
That was bellied up. Yeah. Sorry, dude. The amount of worlds I have going on in my head between my personal life, work, this. This environment. You bet your radio. You bet your radio. Patreon. Bellied up. Up regular. You betcha. Content.
B
It's like.
A
It's a lot of worlds I gotta keep straight.
B
So we're happy to talk to anyone about something that's actually a conversation, not what's on my plate, two feet in
D
front of me, for sure.
A
So we can't talk about anything in the room?
B
Yeah, that's probably fine.
A
So I can't be like, hey, Tyler, Margarita glass, huh?
B
Yeah, that'd be weird.
A
All right, cool. But I could go, hey, Tyler, Margarita glass at the Mexican restaurant down the road. You're cool with that?
B
Honestly, more cool, because that opens up the door, like, oh, which restaurant? And then you go like, plaza. Oh, cool. Did you hear that?
A
I don't think A new place. I don't like to talk about my food. I don't like to talk about lunch. So why would you even ask me about the Mexican restaurant?
B
Why'd you bring up the glasses, then?
D
This is on the desk.
B
You said it was at our Mexican restaurant. That's what you said.
A
So what? Can we talk about anything not in the building?
D
Like I said, if I was like. I was like. If I was like, dude, there's. Is there not a thousand kinds of flavor or of sparkling water out there today? Like, Tyler, you have three of them sitting on a desk. Like, how do you choose between one? That's like a. I feel like that's a good conversation start.
C
Okay, that's not bad.
A
All right, guys, if you want more, you bet your radio, you got to check out our Patreon. You got to go to patreon.com bets radio or look us up on the app, and we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you got to check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.
Date: May 20, 2026
Hosts: Myles (“You Betcha Guy”), Ryan, Tyler, Jerrod
Theme: Midwest comedy, facial hair adventures, summer plans, and Midwest life banter
In this lively and humor-filled episode, the You Betcha crew dives into man culture, Midwest nostalgia, and plenty of lighthearted jabs, centered around Myles’ new mustache. The episode covers the reactions to his facial hair experiment, day-to-day Midwest annoyances, and a hilarious draft of the best places for your car to break down. The discussion meanders shamelessly through mundane (yet deeply "Midwest") topics such as shaving, summer plans, product sponsorships, and even office lunch etiquette, keeping the banter effortless and relatable.
“You forget over time that you have a mustache. And then when you go somewhere where someone who hasn’t seen you yet with the mustache sees you, they just, like…they start laughing at you.”
— Myles, 15:42
Segment starts at 21:25.
This tongue-in-cheek brainstorming of "the perfect Midwest summer" results in a wish-list of annoyances:
“Actually, the most anti-American thing you can do is get a passport.”
— Myles, 36:28
Draft begins at 40:46.
Each host drafts their ideal spot for an automobile breakdown, mixing practicality with pure comedy.
Top picks include:
Memorable banter:
“You could hit the trifecta: Friday wedding, Saturday kid’s birthday, Sunday joint baby shower.” — Ryan, 21:47
“You got Hooters, Twin Peaks, Tilted Kilt – not one, not two, not three…” — Myles, 58:22
Negotiations and trades: Hilarious post-draft trades, including attempts to get the "big three" restaurants and mocking each other's practical picks (like, “I’m getting home!”).
Self-awareness:
“If I had to give my draft a score, it’d probably be like a D. Or, like a double D.” — Myles, 59:13
60:23
62:14-68:38
"We're happy to talk to anyone about something that's actually a conversation, not what's on my plate, two feet in front of me." — Ryan, 67:41
The episode is irreverent, self-aware, and teasing—everything you’d expect from a group of Midwest guys who’ve been podcasting together for years. Their brand of humor leans hard into Midwest tropes and absurd hypotheticals, but always circles back to the fun of everyday life and friendships. The comedic roast of Myles’ mustache and their running self-mockery offers plenty of laughs, while the segments on summer planning and “best breakdown spots” showcase their talent for finding hilarity in the ordinary.
For more Midwest nonsense, mustache-growing inspiration, and truly questionable summer planning, listen to the full episode or join their Patreon for extra content.