Our 2026 New Year's Resolutions 🎙 #359

Summary

Podcast Summary: You Betcha Radio – "Our 2026 New Year's Resolutions" 🎙 #359

Date: January 7, 2026
Hosts: Myles (“the You Betcha Guy”), Ryan, Tyler, and Jared
Theme: Setting, debating, and recapping New Year’s resolutions, Midwestern banter, and the Midwestern “man culture” approach to self-improvement.

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Episode Overview

This comedic and nostalgia-driven episode is the annual resolutions special—a much-anticipated event for both hosts and listeners. The gang recaps their hits, misses, and "technical successes" for 2025, then launches into brainstorming and unveiling their 2026 goals. True to their Midwest roots, they pack the episode with relatable banter, lots of ribbing, deep dives into life’s simpler pleasures (like having a catch), and surprisingly philosophical takes on self-improvement and friendship.

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Key Segments & Discussion Highlights

1. Thermal Shirts & “Thermal Gang” Movement

• 00:11–02:00
  The episode opens with light humor about Myles’ new white thermal shirt. Tyler and Ryan poke fun, noting it’s so new it still sports fold lines and no stains ("No spaghetti stains. Yeah... this is going to be the one I wear the least."—Wells, 00:35). They joke about how “thermal gang” is catching on online, and they should cash in before "big thermal" does.

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2. The “Have a Catch” Business Pitch

• 02:00–20:17

Myles pitches a business idea: A “catch gym” for adults to just… throw balls—no judgement, no hassle, open 24/7.

• Issues with "just go to a park" for catch: awkwardness, need to bring your own ball, stranger anxiety.
• Business concept: Monthly cheap membership (a la Planet Fitness), a wall o’ balls, separate areas for solo, casual, and competitive tossing, couches and keg for relaxing.
• “Having a catch” becomes a metaphor for male therapy ("Guys don’t want to go to real therapy," Tyler, 03:11).
• Notable pitch features: Wall ball section, plastic cups and waxy cone water cups, themed nights and leagues (dodgeball, 500, glow-in-the-dark catch).
• Language corner: Debate over “having a catch” (adults) versus “playing catch” (kids), with Field of Dreams cited as the pop-culture authority ("As a kid you play catch, as an adult you have a catch,"—Wells, 08:16).

Memorable quote:
"Boys play catch, Men have a catch." — Wells, 08:24

• Inclusivity: Women allowed, but “they won’t show up” joked Wells, poking at gender stereotypes in casual, self-aware fashion.
• Community angle: Envisions using the business for good—daycare style catch for kids, felons as drivers and “rehab,” cross-generational connections.
• Stretching the metaphor: Suggests solving political polarization by forcing politicians to debate while having a catch ("It'll disarm everyone, you know, because... you're still connected on something."—Wells, 19:01)

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3. Recap of 2025 Resolutions

• 20:26–50:50

Jared leads a roast/recap of everyone’s 2025 goals with plenty of tape-pulling and playful hypocrisy-callouts.

Myles (Wells)

• 2025 Goals Recapped:
  • Stain the entryway bench: Rebranded as a “low shelf”—loophole used
  • Think about having another kid: “Now fully in the process of thinking about having another kid”
  • Rubik’s Cube: In “suspension pending extension,” with much playful legalese about extensions, reboots, and procrastination (“If currency doesn’t exist, can you fail at making a million dollars?”—Wells, 21:41)

Ryan

• 2025 Goals Recapped:
  • Complete 75 Hard (fitness challenge): Half credit for not strictly following the diet, but did workouts and progress pics ("Half of them, I'm butt ass naked."—Ryan, 31:58)
  • Shoot a deer/get more “primal”: Did it, with bonus raccoon trapping
  • Grow food, read books: Some banter about book recommendations ("You can't take the bait on every recommendation."—Ryan, 36:47)

Tyler

• 2025 Goals Recapped:
  • Figure out mystery light switches in new house: Solved with aid from a podcast listener
  • Bird feeders & bird ID: Put up, but didn’t truly learn to identify the birds ("I did not retain it."—Tyler, 40:59)
  • Replace a friend with a new friend nearby: Mission partly accomplished.

Jared

• 2025 Goals Recapped:

  • Go to conference/convention: Did not, discussed extension loopholes and organizational apathy
  • Run sub-3:10 half marathon: Didn’t attempt, debated if “reboot” is allowed if you don’t even try
  • Try to retire (symbolic): Attended casino, counts as “trying.”
  • Use phrase “canary in the coal mine” on the show: Thinks he did; no tape pulled.

• Meta-discussion: On the semantics, extensions, and “reboot” rules for resolutions, and how the wording makes all the difference (“Verbiage matters!"—Ryan, 49:34).

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4. Setting 2026 New Year’s Resolutions

• 50:53–80:11

Everyone lays out their new (sometimes recycled) goals for 2026, with mockery and debate over what qualifies as “trying,” what needs quantifying, and how to keep it honest.

Sample Resolutions:

• Myles (Wells):

  • Try to laugh more
  • Try to cry more ("Crying for me in general is very difficult... I'd like to cry, but I can't." – Wells, 54:43)
  • Try to think more
  • Develop blueprint & plan for renovating basement
  • Declutter and organize garage ("Move on from the pile life in my garage." – Wells, 67:26)
  • Shave off beard and try new facial hair style

• Ryan:

  • Run 100 miles throughout the year
  • Shoot a deer with a bow (leveling up from last year’s rifle)
  • Rip a $500+ pull tab (lottery ticket)
  • Try a new haircut / possibly buzz his head

• Tyler:

  • Build the long-delayed rifle stand ("Been half done for about five years." – Tyler, 57:56)
  • Coach something (possibly kid's wrestling, open to anything)
  • Try a new facial hair style ("I would consider mustache and soul patch." – Tyler, 72:24)

• Jared:

  • Start a terrarium (DIY, self-sustaining ecosystem in a jar)
  • Ride in a helicopter for the first time ("I don't want to ride very long. Like, one minute, then I'm done." – Jared, 65:41)
  • (Piggybacking) Make sourdough bread ("I want to try it." – Jared, 76:34)

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5. Bonus Segment: Problems with a New Bed

• 80:41–94:04

Myles details his struggles (and triumphs) with a new “zero gravity” bed:

• Adjusting to back sleeping
• Nostril drainage issues (“If I turn my head, it doesn’t turn enough to where it drains out of that side.”—Wells, 82:05)
• Temperature battles—kid's room vs. his, sheets and comforters, finding the right “cool” sheet material
• Comforter logistics with new bed angles, need for separate blankets
• Nightstand positioning, reading light, possible need for a hospital-table-style upgrade
• Pillow saga—including accidental allergy to down
• Deliberations on the correct move for bed setup, including going Scandinavian (two comforter) style and advice from the group

Meta-moment: Equates “leveling up” in life with inheriting a new set of problems: "When you level up your life, there's a whole new set of problems. More money, more problems."—Wells, 91:08

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6. Hypothetical: Who Would Sell the Most Cars?

• 96:51–104:48

The gang imagines running a car dealership together:

• Ryan: "I’d just let ‘em take it home for a day... let ‘em see it in the driveway."
• Myles: “I'm gonna be the paint the picture guy... make it so they can’t view their life without it, especially if they have kids.”
• Tyler: Would set up a fake rival lot for competitive pressure, using costumes/prosthetics to trick customers.
• Jared: Would play the desperation card (“Pity story to each customer... I need to sell a car today”).

Notable mockery:
"Paint the picture guy... I'm gonna target families... get the kids to fall in love with the car." – Wells, 99:08

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Boys play catch, Men have a catch.” – Wells, 08:24
• “If your goal is to make a million dollars and suddenly currency no longer exists, did you really fail?” – Wells, 21:41
• “Verbiage matters!” – Ryan, 49:34
• "I want all the credit and none of the blame." – Wells, 16:14
• "Half of them, I'm butt ass naked." – Ryan (about weight loss progress pics), 31:58
• “You know, more money, more problems... and mine’s just having a nice bed problem. I’m just trying to stay cool.” – Wells, 91:08
• “If you don't attempt, we'll just call it a reboot.” – Wells, 52:15
• "I'm gonna coach something. I don't know what, but I'm gonna coach something." – Tyler, 63:11

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–02:00 – Thermal shirt banter, “thermal gang”
• 02:00–20:17 – “Have a Catch” business pitch
• 20:26–50:50 – 2025 resolutions roast & recap
• 50:53–80:11 – 2026 resolutions announced & debated
• 80:41–94:04 – Myles' new bed: comfort problems and solutions
• 96:51–104:48 – Car dealership sales tactics hypothetical

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Tone & Style

Lighthearted, self-deprecating, highly conversational, and infused with dry Midwestern wit. There’s a running theme of using small, simple things (playing catch, fixing a garage, coaching kids) as vehicles for broader reflection—and a kind of performative anti-goal-setting that pokes fun at the traditional New Year’s resolution format.

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Summary Verdict

A must-listen for fans of Midwest culture, group dynamics, and anyone needing a laugh about the ridiculousness of setting—and rationalizing—personal goals. The “have a catch” pitch alone is podcast gold, and the group’s willingness to roast themselves and each other keeps things both light and surprisingly poignant.

Transcript

[Wells]

All right, everyone, welcome back to another episode of you Bet yout Radio. It's a new year. Happy New Year. Happy New Year.

[Tyler]

Haven't seen you guys since last year.

[Wells]

Which. This is the New Year's resolutions episode. Correct, Jared.

[Jared]

Our biggest episode of the year.

[Wells]

Biggest episode of the year. Which we're going to get into in a minute. But first, I have a few things I'd like to talk about. One new thermal.

[Tyler]

Nice. I don't saw that. No.

[Wells]

No one said anything to me today about it.

[Ryan]

We are waiting.

[Wells]

It's clearly new because there's still like, the. The fold lines in the shirt still.

[Jared]

And no spaghetti stains.

[Wells]

No spaghetti stains. Yeah. Like, I. This. It's pure white. And it's just. This is going to be definitely the one that I wear the least. Because it's like, if I got spaghetti sauce on it, it's a great one.

[Tyler]

For under the vest.

[Wells]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I'm a sucker for a white thermal. I got one of them.

[Wells]

Is he hitting on me?

[Tyler]

I think so.

[Ryan]

No, I just. Me personally. Yeah. And I've probably had like five years. I have one little tiny stain is actually from Panda Express. Chinese food.

[Wells]

I remember what Happened Marathon. Anyways, that's not what I want to talk about. I just wanted to mention the fact that I got new thermal. So my thermal gang out there, honestly, it's turning into a little bit of a movement online. I don't know if you guys.

[Tyler]

Is it. Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

Thermal Gang is a decent band name.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Like millions. There's creators with millions of followers promoting thermals now.

[Tyler]

Yeah, Creator.

[Wells]

Creator. With millions of followers promoting thermals. And it's starting to catch on. And if you ask corporate America, that's how you get stuff to catch on. So you just have creators. Just talk about your stuff.

[Tyler]

Big thermal is knocking down our door.

[Wells]

So head of the new year. Feeling fresh?

[Jared]

Look fresh.

[Wells]

Before we get New Year's resolutions, I wanted to throw an idea past you guys.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Wells]

Pun intended. Which you guys will find out about that pun in a second here.

[Ryan]

Idea past you guys.

[Wells]

Here it is. Why is there not a place for guys to just go have a catch? And don't. Don't think. Don't don't give me the. Just go to the park. Because there's all sorts of problems with going and having a catch at a park. You got to bring your own ball. What if you're just by yourself? You got to just go up to random strangers and ask if they want to play a catch. That just is terrible.

[Jared]

It's within 100ft of a school.

[Wells]

If it's. Yeah.

[Tyler]

It's like not allowed.

[Wells]

Yeah, yeah. Right. So there needs to be a business that's just a big warehouse and in the summertime have a big field next to it and guys can just do a monthly, kind of like Planet Fitness. Just a low, cheap thing. And guys can just go have a catch.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you show up, you know, everyone there wants to play catch. So it's not awkward, Correct?

[Wells]

Yeah. It's like you walk in and you don't even have to know anyone because the culture at this place is going to be just. You can just step into any catch.

[Tyler]

And we call it. We can name it therapy.

[Wells]

I was thinking maybe something cooler than that.

[Tyler]

But it's therapeutic. Guys don't want to go to real therapy.

[Wells]

Well, that's the thing is you can get your membership paid for by a therapist. That'll be a program.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Wells]

Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking maybe some more like catchers or like, you know, catch all. Yeah, it could be the catch all. You know, we'll workshop the name Catch Me outside. But you walk in.

[Ryan]

How about that?

[Wells]

That would be our summer promotion outside. And it's funny because I say guys, because girls can come too, but it's just in our nature. They won't, you know, they won't. It'll be allowed, but they just won't show up. Like an was holding one of my kids, like little like. Like balls he throws around. And I was like, yeah, let's have a catch. And she was kind of like, why? It's like there's. You don't need a reason why to have a catch. You just have a catch. And so my vision is you walk in and there would be the. The wall of balls, the wall ball. And that would actually be a section in there is. There would just be a big wall that you could just have a catch with yourself.

[Tyler]

Bounce it off the wall.

[Wells]

You just bounce it off the wall.

[Tyler]

Somebody's going to be the first one there.

[Wells]

I'm jumping the gun a little bit here because I'm talking to you about all the features inside. But this would be the wall ball. We're talking baseballs with mitts. We're going to do footballs, we're going to do nerf balls.

[Tyler]

Whistling kind or no, we're going to.

[Wells]

Have all sorts of balls. Soccer balls, you know, the footballs with the tails that whistle on the end. We're have just a regular foam ball with a bite bitten out of the tip.

[Tyler]

Nice.

[Wells]

You know, any type of ball you can think of that you'd want to have a catch with. You know, like a squoosh ball. You know, like the little ones with all the little things on it.

[Tyler]

The Fris ball from the early 2000s.

[Wells]

Yeah, yeah, any ball really. And. And then you basically just select a ball. You go into the, the gym or the field and you just. If, if. Let's say you showed up because we'd be open 24 hours a day.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Wells]

So let's say you're 2am or no one's there. You can just throw against the wall. You grab a tennis ball, grab a racquetball, throw it against the wall, but otherwise you just join in with other guys. You just. And maybe you're like, hey, I'm not going to grab a ball off the wall. I'm just going to go in and just jump in. And then if two guys are playing, it becomes a triangle.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Wells]

You know, and you also could have sections, right. There's the solo section where you're just throwing it off a wall. There would be the casual section where it's just leisurely just tossing the ball around. Then you could have a section where, you know, the heat starts getting picked up a little bit. You know, you're not, you're not going full go throwing bullpen, but you're, you're starting to rifle it at each other a little bit more, you know.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

And then you obviously would have the competitive section where it's literal 40 year old dudes throwing bullpen running routes. Yep. On air, seven on seven, just having a catch.

[Tyler]

I dig it.

[Wells]

You know, so you're gonna really hit all competition levels.

[Tyler]

Can we add some couches to the first level so people can just throw the ball up in the air on their back?

[Wells]

Yes.

[Ryan]

You can just lay down too.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but couches, it's way more fun on the couch.

[Wells]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I don't know. Laying down on the floor.

[Wells]

Yeah. That section is probably going to have like a Keger Raider. Yeah. You know, I mean every section you can drink beer in, but that definitely is like where the hangout's going to be.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Wells]

And guys are just having a catch. You know, we'll have all plastic cups.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Wells]

There's like stuff.

[Tyler]

Cones or no.

[Wells]

What do you mean by that?

[Tyler]

Paper cups. Cones for the water.

[Wells]

We could. Yeah, we could. Yeah.

[Tyler]

The water hits way harder out of a paper cone cup.

[Wells]

That's true. It's very. It's very. That little weird waxy flavor that comes with it.

[Jared]

Half a s of it.

[Tyler]

It's colder in there.

[Wells]

Yeah. I just want a business that just allows me to go and have a catch. You know, go like the sports complex. People are like running around the track, lifting weights. People are playing soccer. You know, there's always, there's always basketball courts, but there's not just a place to just go have a catch.

[Tyler]

So there's no soccer catch because they call it catch.

[Wells]

Well, that's, that's kicking.

[Tyler]

They call it catch and they just kick it back and forth.

[Wells]

But that's, that's no, no soccer.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Wells]

You gotta, you gotta throw it.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Wells]

Now I guess you could do like the goalies throw or the, you could practice your overhead throws. But kicked out. What the are we doing? That would be our lunk alarm. Would be our soccer alarm.

[Tyler]

No feet, no punts, no kicks.

[Wells]

Yeah, it's just having a catch.

[Jared]

Yeah. And I'm thinking a big, big ass screen TV for football or whatever games are.

[Wells]

Dude, it would be great.

[Tyler]

You can just reenact each play.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

This has been on my mind last five minutes. I've. I don't know if I've ever heard anyone call it having a catch versus just playing catch. I think it's like an English, it's like a British.

[Wells]

So as a kid you play catch, as an adult you have a catch.

[Tyler]

It's the difference, you know, I've heard it.

[Wells]

It's like the difference between boys and men. Boys play catch, Men have a catch.

[Tyler]

Who.

[Ryan]

Where was, I mean, who determined that.

[Wells]

We would have a kids program where they would play catch?

[Ryan]

Sure.

[Wells]

You know, it's like adult swim. But it'd be like kids kid catch is what it would actually be called the camps where kids could just come and have play. Just play catch, kid catch.

[Tyler]

And if they don't have a ride there, we'll take the kid catch van and go pick them up from their.

[Wells]

Houses and we'll like accommodate them. We'll have candy and stuff.

[Tyler]

Yep. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan]

They catch them all.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

And we can like, you know, be pro, like rehabilitating felons back into society. They can be the drivers.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Wells]

The buses, you know, I don't know, I just, I feel like it would be a great spot. It'd be like because, because you want to be active. Because, you know when you're, when you're having a catch, you're still jogging around a little bit because you're not going to catch everyone. No, I might be, but you guys maybe aren't. And so you're gonna be jogging around. It's a good way to get some, like, light physical activity, whereas, like, going and playing noon ball. Your knees are gonna be shot.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Wells]

You know.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I think it's phenomenal idea. I've been try. I've wanted to play catch for the last three, four years. I just haven't had anyone to play catch with.

[Tyler]

I was gonna say, when do you think is the last time you played catch with an adult? I mean, we've played catch in the office.

[Wells]

Well, I don't play catch with adults. I have a catch.

[Tyler]

Yeah. When was the last time beside us around in the warehouse after a video shoot?

[Wells]

That would be the last time.

[Jared]

Yeah. I don't even know.

[Wells]

I think me and my brother remember when I lost my wedding ring in my lawn?

[Tyler]

Oh, yes.

[Wells]

Me and Barbella were having a catch that day. But yeah, that was a couple. Two summers ago.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I think for me, with a baseball, I think it's probably two summers ago, actually. At the lake.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Neighbor kid down the road, him and his buddy were playing catch. So I'm like, do you guys have another glove? And I. Can I hop in.

[Jared]

Can I have a catch?

[Ryan]

Can I play catch with you guys?

[Wells]

Yeah, if you're playing. If you're throwing a ball with a kid, is it playing or having a catch? Is. It's probably playing catch. But anytime a kid's involved, you're playing a catch. Isn't it playing catch? The kids.

[Tyler]

What movie? There's a baseball movie where the kid just be like, dad, want to have a catch? The kid says, have a catch.

[Jared]

Sandlot.

[Tyler]

It might be. I don't know.

[Ryan]

As a baseball guy, I'd never heard of have even like, I don't know. I would consider myself an adult at. When I was in college and we never said having a catch.

[Wells]

Yeah, but you guys were D3, which is basically like preschool.

[Ryan]

No, we weren't D3. We were. No, we were for car. We were nai on our way to D2, which is where we're at now, so. And I say we because I just bought my old jersey on auction.

[Tyler]

Field of dreams. He wants to have a catch with his dad.

[Wells]

And who do you trust more than feel the dreams when it comes to catching things?

[Tyler]

It's, hey, dad, want to have a catch? Yeah. Okay. And then he finally does with his spoilers. Dead dad. End of the movie.

[Jared]

Yeah, I know that.

[Tyler]

Plug your ears. I said spoilers.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you mumbled it.

[Tyler]

I did it first. You guys do it after.

[Ryan]

Can we just bring some gloves here? I mean, I think we got A football here.

[Wells]

I mean, that's kind of where I'm going, is we got a big warehouse. We got a field. I would just start having a catch.

[Tyler]

We got plenty of balls amongst four of us.

[Ryan]

I mean, we were. We were throwing. We were. We were throwing balls to each other. One guy's a pitcher, one guy was a hitter.

[Tyler]

Yeah. The other day we took some BP in the water.

[Ryan]

Phenomenal.

[Wells]

No bats, though.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

No, yeah, no bats.

[Wells]

Because that is actually like, a big liability when it comes to this business.

[Ryan]

Oh, for sure. Yeah.

[Wells]

Bats are no go.

[Tyler]

Banned. Bats are banned.

[Wells]

Yeah. And if you're going to go in the bullpen area where we throw gas, you got to sign a waiver.

[Tyler]

Question, dude.

[Ryan]

We can have. We can have radar guns in the bullpen for 40.

[Tyler]

That'd be sick.

[Jared]

Like, like, juice the guns a little.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Pump them up about seven, eight miles an hour.

[Tyler]

Feel really good about yourself when you leave.

[Wells]

Dude. Having a catch is also a great YouTube show. That's the marketing for this place. Imagine just having a catch with, like, celebrities.

[Tyler]

It's the same as hot ones, except if you're just tossing because.

[Ryan]

Yeah, like, we're trade.

[Wells]

I trademarked this. I'm doing. Having a catch.

[Ryan]

Catch conversation is the. It's the best conversation.

[Tyler]

We call it, obviously phrase.

[Ryan]

Yeah, obviously. When you're playing long toss, it's kind of like you ain't gonna be, like, talking about your. What you're having for supper that night. But, like, when you're just starting out, it's. That's the best conversation, dude.

[Wells]

And then, like, you know, for. For like, for like, seven minutes out of each hour, we have, like, a horn that goes off and it becomes long toss time.

[Tyler]

Hell, yeah.

[Wells]

You know, you get like.

[Ryan]

Yeah, like a couple hundred yards.

[Jared]

Like 500.

[Tyler]

Just go routes.

[Wells]

Yeah, that's. That's good. We could also do, like, organized, you know, like, they have, like, at, like, fitness centers. They have, like, Zumba classes and spin classes. We can play 500.

[Tyler]

Yeah. On Tuesday nights on Court B, we have 500.

[Jared]

500 league.

[Wells]

500 league would be awesome. It getting tense.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I mean, dodgeball league. That's just throwing and catching.

[Jared]

Yeah, I like that.

[Wells]

Well, it's kind of actually. Yeah, you're right. The goal is to not catch it, but the goal, it technically is to catch it.

[Tyler]

You're right.

[Ryan]

Can you guys imagine, like, Saturday night glow in the dark seven on seven, where everyone's got, like, glow in the dark vest, Glow in the dark football?

[Tyler]

That'd be great.

[Ryan]

That'd Be sweet.

[Tyler]

I'd be very down for that.

[Wells]

All right, guys, time to play some prize picks right now. Prize picks will give you $50 in lineups. When you play your first $5 lineup, win or lose your game, 50 bucks in lineups. Use promo code YBR when you sign up today. And boys, playoffs are here.

[Tyler]

They're here.

[Wells]

They're here. I'd like to say that I ended the season off of my leg hitting. Did yours hit Ryan?

[Ryan]

Yes, it did. It did. H. Yes, it did.

[Wells]

What about Jared and Tyler? Did your guys hit last week?

[Jared]

No.

[Tyler]

First time in like 100 weeks, though.

[Wells]

So just throwing that out there.

[Tyler]

We were due, Jared.

[Jared]

We were.

[Wells]

We should have faded them.

[Ryan]

I know. We should have. We'll do that this week.

[Wells]

All right, well, what do we got for the first week? Wild card weekend.

[Tyler]

It is.

[Ryan]

I. Can I go first? Because I never go first and we know we don't win very much.

[Tyler]

That's true.

[Ryan]

It's like a scramble.

[Wells]

We don't win very much.

[Ryan]

Let's mix it up. All right, I'm going. Jalen hurts less than 205 and a half pass yards.

[Tyler]

Sick. I usually go second, so I'm not going second.

[Wells]

I'll go second. I never go second. I always go third. Who did I pick again? Oh, Saquan Barkley. More than 05 rushing or receiving touchdowns.

[Jared]

I like it. I'll do puka dua. More than 05 receiving, rushing touchdowns, which.

[Wells]

Was my pick until Jared took it. Being the leaders eat last mentality type of guy, I let Jared have it so you wouldn't have to find a new one.

[Jared]

I appreciate that.

[Wells]

So if either Puka Dakua or Saigon Barkley hit this week, I get the gotcha. Get the win for that.

[Tyler]

James Cook rushes for more than 82 and a half yards. I get the win for that.

[Wells]

Yeah, yeah. I'm okay with that.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Wells]

But also I hired you and put you in this position, and so therefore your pick is also my pick.

[Tyler]

It's our pick.

[Wells]

I picked you, which you picked James Cook. So if it wins, it's also I also get the win.

[Tyler]

It's like a GM taking credit for a draft pick that one of this his advisors told him to do.

[Wells]

Yeah, yeah. And I will take care for that. I want all the credit and none of the blame. So, yeah, if you guys want to get in this playoff season, there's only so many weeks left to be putting Price fix lineups on the NFL. So get in there now. Gotta download the Price Picks app. Use code ybr have a great time.

[Tyler]

Where are we at? On frisbees, you throw them and catch them, but they're not a ball for sure.

[Wells]

The place is having a catch, so I think frisbees are in.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Wells]

It's not. It's not throwing a ball.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Wells]

It's having a catch. You're right.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Tyler]

I like frisbees, so.

[Ryan]

I do too. I love frisbee.

[Wells]

Yeah. I think it's gonna be a less common form of catch at this business probably. So.

[Jared]

Yeah, we're all inclusive except soccer.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Wells]

I mean, basketball's kind of out too.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

What do you guys go. You're just gonna practice your chest passes?

[Jared]

It's important.

[Tyler]

Is there a drill? Isn't there a drill? You guys just pass it back and forth all the way down the court.

[Wells]

Three man weave.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Wells]

If you want to get really crazy, we do the five man weave. That's what I mean. Yeah. It's just. I guess we could have it. Well, what are you gonna do with it? But yeah, you could have a wall ball league. Do you guys do that where, like, if you. You throw it against the wall and then you. If it comes to you catch it. But if you drop it and don't catch it, it touches you. You gotta go touch the wall before the next person throws and hits the wall. I mean, we. I mean, we're talking all sorts of. I just. I just want to have a catch and I want a business place to go where I can just do that and not have to organize anything. I just show up and be a part of something.

[Tyler]

Except for Tuesday nights at 5.

[Wells]

Well, you know, we wouldn't take up the whole. Maybe there would be. You're right. There'd be leagues.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Well, I'm just thinking like a dad who raises kids that grow up. They just. Maybe they're not sports players. Maybe they're not. I don't know. He doesn't have kids that want to play catch with him for him.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Wells]

The employees would have, like. It would be like kid daycare, where, like, you can just drop your kid off and then the employees just play catch with your kid.

[Tyler]

David, there's plenty of water in those paper cones for them. They're going to be fine all day. Yep.

[Wells]

It's great.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And vice versa. Kids with no dads can go have a catch with other dads.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Yeah. It's kind of like any partner with big sister. Big brother.

[Ryan]

Yeah, whatever. The big big bro program.

[Wells]

Great for the community.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I think we get public Funding.

[Wells]

I think we can solve most of our problems in today's world if we. If more people were just having a catch.

[Tyler]

Honestly, politicians should. Instead of debates, should have to. They can have debates, but they have to be playing catch.

[Wells]

They have to be playing catch. It just. It'll disarm everyone, you know, because you're in a. When you're playing catch with someone you oppose, you're still connected on something. You still got to throw and catch it together. Mm.

[Ryan]

Just gotta be careful, though, because if one guy throws on a little bit too hard, then the other guy is gonna try and either match that or throw a harder then. Then you can get dangerous.

[Wells]

I love heat checks.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Because if they're not on the appropriate court, you got to keep it under 50.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Kind of like the lunk alarm. We got an alarm for E. Check.

[Wells]

He check alarm.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

He check on court four. Heat check on court four. Thank you.

[Tyler]

We see you, orange shorts.

[Ryan]

We see you. The other move, too, is if you're. If you're like, I don't know, 60ft away from your. Your throwing partner, you throw one at their ankles like. Like just in front of their toes almost. And then they don't know whether they. Whether I. That's what I'm saying. It's a move. But if you're, you know, politician wise, if you want to.

[Wells]

Really? Yeah. I mean, there's a gentleman aspect to it.

[Ryan]

Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah. Don't be a.

[Wells]

That's right.

[Jared]

That's what it says on the front.

[Wells]

So. Yeah, I think. I think there should be a place for adults to be able to go have a catch with other random adults.

[Jared]

I dig it.

[Wells]

And that was my pitch.

[Tyler]

You're in. I'm in. Yeah.

[Ryan]

I'm in for playing catch. Yeah.

[Wells]

Well, you're an adult, so. All right, Jared, the moment everyone's been waiting for. The 2025 New Year's resolutions recap in the 2026 New Year's goal setting session.

[Jared]

I'm very excited for this.

[Tyler]

Are you?

[Wells]

All right.

[Tyler]

That means we said some dumbass last year.

[Jared]

I'll start with you, Wells. Okay.

[Wells]

What were my 2025 New Year's resolutions?

[Jared]

So this is a quote. 2025 is the year I finally stay in the entryway. Bench. It's getting done.

[Wells]

Actually, it would. That's a half truth because I decided that I'm changing. It's. No, it's rebranded for 2026.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Wells]

The bench is no longer a bench. The bench is now a shelf.

[Tyler]

Okay. A really low Shelf.

[Wells]

It's a really low shelf that's very deep. But question is, is, like, I think for this new shelf that we're doing, I think we're going to go for like a raw, unstained look on it. Okay. It's kind of the move.

[Tyler]

Yeah. You can't stay in a bench if there is no bench.

[Wells]

Correct. Yeah. So essentially, it's like if your goal is to make a million dollars and suddenly currency no longer exists, did you really fail?

[Ryan]

Jesus Christ.

[Jared]

Brilliant.

[Wells]

What? Ryan? I don't know if that deserved a. Jesus Christ. Leave him out of this.

[Ryan]

Here we go. We're starting. I think for it to be considered, if you just add another one just like three feet above it, then I think we could consider it.

[Wells]

It's a shelf.

[Ryan]

Do you sit on it still?

[Wells]

Or can you.

[Ryan]

Can you even sit on a stick?

[Wells]

Well, that's the thing is like, because it's become a shelf, there's stuff on it. And what's funny is there's actually one of the things that we decided to put on it is laying on it is a mirror that's supposed to get hung in the entry.

[Ryan]

You just pop the mirror up. Then I think you can consider it a shelf.

[Wells]

Yeah. I mean, it's already a shelf story. It's not. It's not a display shelf currently. It's a storage shelf with coats and shoes and the design mirrors and bags and all sorts of stuff designed to.

[Tyler]

Keep things 8 inches off the ground.

[Wells]

12.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Wells]

It's a lot.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

So that one was kind of a halfsy.

[Jared]

Yeah. Five. Yeah.

[Wells]

It doesn't exist anymore. You know.

[Jared]

He also says he's going. Going to start the process of starting the process of thinking about having another kid.

[Wells]

I did that.

[Ryan]

That's the one. I remember that one of yours last year.

[Wells]

We're now fully in the process of thinking about having another kid.

[Tyler]

Okay, nice.

[Wells]

So I did the thinking about thinking this last year. Now 2026 is about thinking about having a kid.

[Ryan]

Nice.

[Jared]

Miles doesn't want to schedule sex, but says 2028 is looking promising.

[Wells]

2028? Is that what I said?

[Jared]

I think you said looking good, but yeah.

[Wells]

That'S true. I. I believe that a year later, I don't want to schedule sex the worst.

[Ryan]

Yeah, his schedule's already full. Full enough. I mean, he's got a schedule. Tummy aches. So you think he's got time to schedule sex?

[Wells]

I actually, over the weekend, I went to Marty. Scheduled tummy ache. It was the best.

[Ryan]

Nice.

[Wells]

Decided I was going on Thursday Bought the tickets, going Friday. I didn't eat all day cuz I knew I was only going to eat popcorn. We ate a full large popcorn and a half, very rare and went to the bathroom and filled it up again for us.

[Ryan]

The popcorn. Yeah. Do you get free refills?

[Tyler]

Oh, no one ever finishes it though.

[Ryan]

Jesus criminy.

[Wells]

But when you don't eat all day. And that's your meal. Let's go.

[Jared]

Quick film review on Marty Supreme.

[Ryan]

Spoiler alert.

[Wells]

Let's do that at the end. Let's do it at the end. I'd like to dive into it. Ten, four. Yeah.

[Jared]

He's also training for the Olympics for 2030.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah. So curling, that's getting close.

[Wells]

I wanted sneaking up.

[Ryan]

It's an Olympic year.

[Wells]

I see that. That one could potentially require an extension to like 2038 or something like that. But when it comes time to revisit that, we'll see. But that one I could see. It's entering extension territory.

[Ryan]

Well, yeah, I don't think. I don't think you got to be like a, like a young, like a young calf to be a professional curler.

[Tyler]

No.

[Ryan]

I think you could be in your.

[Tyler]

40S, 50s as Olympic gold medalist. If anything, it's probably an advantage.

[Wells]

You're just smarter.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

You know, less testosterone. You're going to make good decisions on the ice.

[Jared]

Think of all the medical science that's going to advance in 2038.

[Ryan]

Exactly.

[Wells]

And like, they're probably going to invent some new technology with the brooms. Be no sense in learning on current brooms, especially if I have to relearn it for different broom technology.

[Ryan]

Yeah, he'll be, he'll be. He'll be training for the Olympics like Jackson Dart trains for on cars. Cars three. Or Jackson Storm.

[Wells]

Jackson Storm Simulator. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. That'll be curling training in the late 2000s, early 20s.

[Tyler]

It'll be that. Those fake ice that you see on like hockey treadmills.

[Wells]

Yeah, yeah, that's how I'd like to train.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Okay.

[Ryan]

And I mean, honestly, training can start in your garage too. Just sweeping that out.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's a good point.

[Ryan]

You know, you don't got to be at the curling club.

[Jared]

Miles's quote. In 2025, I'd like to solve a Rubik's Cube. It's just going to be me and the cube. It's on my bucket list. And I figured there's no better time than the present year.

[Wells]

Well, we know where we stand there. Currently in suspension until I provide evidence of progress. That it will go into an extension is what we decided on. 18 days after the suspension.

[Ryan]

What? So when did we decide.

[Wells]

I was gonna bring it in today. I forgot.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I was gonna say. We gotta get that.

[Tyler]

It's tough.

[Ryan]

The suspension's gotta be lifted soon.

[Jared]

Okay. I just got clip to play here.

[Wells]

Oh, God. Is this in? My, my.

[Jared]

All right, this little tape poll, this is from December 2nd of last year.

[Wells]

Does anyone else have New Year's resolutions that they haven't got done?

[Jared]

I have to go to a convention.

[Tyler]

Magic Con in April is the next convention in Fargo.

[Ryan]

But it's. That's too late.

[Wells]

Yeah, well, you could do like, taxes. You can file an extension.

[Tyler]

Okay, good. File.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Because as long as you file extension before, like. Like, I think the end of this week is the cutoff. As long as you file extension before then, you're good. It's like, oh, you were clearly planning to do it. This is three weeks before the end of the year. You file the extension, we'll accept that.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I think.

[Ryan]

And Magicon's every other year, too, so.

[Tyler]

And the members of the board, I think, would definitely approve the extension if you prove that you bought tickets for said condensed.

[Jared]

Members of the board file an extension. Because I think I know what Bob's trying to do.

[Tyler]

I don't.

[Wells]

Oh, no. I don't plan on falling extension. I plan on being a man of my word, so.

[Jared]

Yeah, you're not a little.

[Wells]

Yeah, myself. Myself through life.

[Tyler]

Maybe the little foot convention's coming up soon.

[Ryan]

How incriminating.

[Tyler]

Well, first sets of deadlines that he didn't need.

[Ryan]

Breaks his own extension rule.

[Wells]

Yeah, yeah, but that was loose. That was loose. I said, you're probably good in the next week or so, so. That part is like a lawyer. That would not hold up in court.

[Ryan]

He's not even an extension.

[Wells]

The ending was very, very. For sure. But also, I'm gonna be honest, when I said I want an extension, I. In my brain, that was the first time I came up with New Year's resolution extensions. I could. I didn't even know that that clip existed.

[Ryan]

That's crazy.

[Tyler]

Just barely, like a month and two days ago.

[Wells]

Oh, wait, that was. I thought this was 2024.

[Ryan]

I did too.

[Wells]

I thought this was December 2024.

[Tyler]

This was four weeks.

[Wells]

That was a month ago.

[Ryan]

How did no one remember that?

[Tyler]

I don't know.

[Wells]

I can't believe that that was a month ago.

[Tyler]

Did you remember J did pull the tape?

[Jared]

No, I remember we mentioned something about it that I looked back and I found it, like. There it is.

[Wells]

Oh, wow. That's actually really, really bad.

[Ryan]

Needle in a haystack.

[Wells]

Yeah. I mean, that's not a good look for me.

[Tyler]

Foreign.

[Wells]

Yeah. But it's also, like, going to convention is so much easier than Rubik's Cubes. So we're not even. We're comparing apples to oranges here.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Wells]

You know, like, basically, there's been uber geniuses working on Rubik's Cubes. They can't figure it out. You see, it's like all you gotta do is buy a ticket and go to a convention, you know?

[Tyler]

Now if there isn't one, I. I.

[Wells]

Wouldn'T put foot around an easy resolution like yours, but I would definitely. I mean, one year to solve a Rubik's Cube is kind of a, like, short amount of time.

[Tyler]

So.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Wells]

Is that all for me?

[Jared]

That's all for you, yeah.

[Wells]

All right. So what I. What were my resolutions? The bench, which turned into a shelf, so that one's null and void. Kid did that. And then the Rubik's Cube, which is just seal and suspension pending extension. So I would say of the ones that are still active, I was 1 for 1. 20, 25. 1. I think active resolutions, I was 1 for 1. 100%.

[Ryan]

I think we have to decline the extension. If we.

[Wells]

If we know.

[Ryan]

You already did. No, if we don't get.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we haven't.

[Ryan]

The suspension's gotta be lifted soon.

[Tyler]

We haven't approved the extension. We've approved the suspension.

[Wells]

You also never said what the time frame was on the system.

[Tyler]

Well, we said we needed to see proof of income, and we haven't seen any yet.

[Wells]

Yeah, no, I just forgot. Yeah, I can send you a photo.

[Tyler]

We want to. At least a video. Just a Google of you trying it.

[Wells]

Oh, yeah, no, I'll bring it in. I'll bring it in tomorrow.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Wells]

I gotta remember tomorrow.

[Ryan]

Get 24 hours.

[Wells]

All right.

[Jared]

Less than that. Okay. Ryan. Ryan says his. Ryan says his resolutions are serious this year.

[Ryan]

Oh, I did get serious this year.

[Jared]

Yeah. He wants to complete 75 hard. One workout a day, plus another one outside. No alcohol. A gallon of water a day, 10 pages of reading. Follow a diet, he might go carnivore and take daily progress pictures.

[Ryan]

Boom, done. Diet, not so much diet.

[Wells]

No. And progress picks daily.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I have those.

[Wells]

Oh, can we do a montage? Like, you know, like, the guy takes a photo of himself every year. Every day for a year.

[Ryan]

He's like, yeah, I think half of them, I'm butt ass naked.

[Tyler]

We gotta blur your Nipples on all of them.

[Wells]

Like your sound sure cocking.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Show my lower body progress.

[Wells]

Actually you're at least wearing. You're at least wearing underwear, right? In these photos. That would be so funny.

[Tyler]

You do weight loss progress pictures. You're shirt cocking.

[Ryan]

I got top and bottom progress pictures.

[Wells]

Yeah, we just want the top. We don't need bottom. Pants, no shirt and then shirt, no pants.

[Tyler]

Next Weight Watchers commercial, we see the progress photos are shirt cocking it.

[Wells]

Can we do. Can we get them on? Can we do the like out to dig them up?

[Ryan]

What do you mean dig them up? I mean it was. That was a year ago.

[Wells]

I know. You just go. You just click 20, 25, just.

[Ryan]

I'll just type in. Was that yolked in the search bar of my pictures?

[Wells]

Jacked.

[Tyler]

He shot him on a. On one of those disposable cameras.

[Wells]

So that one I'll give you. I'll give you a half a resolution on that because you technically didn't do the diet.

[Jared]

Yeah, the diet was a little jumbled.

[Wells]

You said.

[Ryan]

Pretty sure that I said I wasn't gonna follow a strict diet.

[Wells]

He's. Your quote when you made the resolution was that you were gonna do a. Maybe a carnivore.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

It wasn't a.

[Ryan]

You didn't go quote on. You didn't say quote unquote, though you.

[Jared]

Said you might go carnivore.

[Ryan]

Michael. Carnivore.

[Jared]

Yeah. Yeah. Diet was very loose, what you said.

[Ryan]

So I said it was going to be loose.

[Jared]

Well, it just. It just came off as loose.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Okay, so I think that counts. So that's one for one.

[Jared]

Ryan also just wants to shoot a deer. He's getting into a primal phase. Wants a stocked freezer and wants to grow his own food. Miles starts getting a little freaked out. He says he's worried Ryan is becoming Mormon, that we correct him. It's amish. Miles decides 75 hard is basically a slippery slope into becoming Amish.

[Wells]

I still stand by that.

[Tyler]

It's just how they live.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's true. That's true. I mean that goal is smash back in November. 350. 359 yards. 359 y shot.

[Jared]

That's good.

[Wells]

You did miss that one in your yard though, didn't you?

[Ryan]

I did miss that one in my yard, yes. So yeah, I shot a deer trap. My first raccoon. Got a hat made out of it from my 3 year old.

[Tyler]

Hell yeah.

[Ryan]

So more just more primal things.

[Wells]

I'm doing more Mormon. More Mormonism or More Amish.

[Ryan]

I did buy three snares the other day. I'm starting. I'm going to start snaring fox and coyotes because I had a. I had a fox run through my driveway the other day.

[Tyler]

I got a bunch of gopher traps if you want them. I don't have any gophers.

[Ryan]

I don't think I have any gophers either.

[Wells]

You're, you know, you're going Amish, but you're also slowly starting to turn into Dave a little bit.

[Tyler]

A little bit, dude.

[Wells]

Dave's, like, avid trapper.

[Ryan]

Does Dave trap for money, or does he try for fun?

[Wells]

He does both.

[Tyler]

Yeah. It's not work if you enjoy what you're doing.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'm just trapped for fun. There's no money in trapping right now. Until there is, I'm actually paying money to trap because I spent a lot of money on that raccoon hat that got made. So I'm in the net.

[Wells]

Your next step as Dave, future Dave, is being able to make your own raccoon hat.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's true. That's a good point.

[Tyler]

Trap multiple raccoons, bring them all to him. Your. Your fur guy be like, I want one hat. You can have all these skins, and you'll be able to sell little trade.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Fur trading.

[Tyler]

Yeah, Literally fur trade with it.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Did I just invent fur trading?

[Ryan]

Okay. I could trade deer meat, too, because I got deer meat now.

[Tyler]

Bring him a deer hide. This is for you if you make me a hat. Yeah.

[Jared]

We talk books. Ryan wants Tyler to recommend something. He says, miles and Ryan says, Miles and Tyler are way better at analyzing shows. Ryan even says he liked the last season of Game of Thrones. Tyler says it was fine, just lazy. Ryan responds, quote, I can't see laziness through a screen. Miles says to save that quote for next year and adds, if Ryan's kid is doing yard work outside and Ryan's looking through the screen door, his kid basically isn't there. He can't see him.

[Ryan]

Was there a resolution in there that I missed, or is that just banter?

[Jared]

Well, you're just talking about the books part of.

[Wells]

Sure, I've heard.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, Yeah.

[Tyler]

I did recommend books. And Ryan's like, I'm not reading any of those.

[Ryan]

I did. You did?

[Tyler]

Yeah, Right away. You asked for book recommendations. I gave you some. And you're like, no. Yeah.

[Ryan]

You can't. You can't. You can't take the bait on every recommendation.

[Tyler]

Well, you. You asked for.

[Wells]

Like, he's baiting you into it? Oh, dude, I'm gonna recommend this book. It's a thousand pages long. It sucks, but I'm gonna make him read a thousand page book.

[Tyler]

And I purposely. I.

[Wells]

The nature of recommendations is that the book is good. There's no baiting involved.

[Tyler]

And I, and I purposely didn't recommend some of my favorite books because I knew you wouldn't like them.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, and maybe you're not the guy to get recommendations from.

[Tyler]

You asked me. I, I agree. We have very different tastes.

[Ryan]

But you, I don't think it's a tasting. I think. Well, and that's part of it probably. But I, you, I. You just see so much deeper into things like that than I do.

[Tyler]

Which is why I picked not as deep.

[Ryan]

Pretty surface level books.

[Wells]

Yeah, kinda was.

[Jared]

Was it Mice and Men?

[Wells]

Yeah. Was it Chicka Chicka Boom Boom Boom? Was that the one you recommended?

[Tyler]

Yeah, it was. Green Eggs and Ham is one of the recommendations.

[Wells]

That one's tougher though.

[Tyler]

But he's like, no, I prefer. I want to read more. Jocko.

[Wells]

Was it Good night. Good night. Construction site.

[Tyler]

That book slaps great rhyme scheme.

[Wells]

Just read it last night.

[Jared]

And then. Right. You had one more. Ryan also wants to bang a thousand extra on prize picks.

[Wells]

I don't know where.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I didn't know where that's going either. You had to. Been close a couple times. We got close.

[Wells]

We petered off towards the end of the year. Not doing thousand extras. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Because we knew a thousand extra just. I don't know the odds of that.

[Tyler]

Didn't we go four for six one time and get like 100 bucks? I think so. Pretty sure we did.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that one was a fail. Yeah. We never did hit a thousand extra.

[Jared]

We had a good year.

[Ryan]

I haven't cooked one up for a couple months.

[Wells]

Yeah, we didn't have a good year though.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we had a good year.

[Wells]

Yep.

[Jared]

It's good.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Jared]

Tyler, now Tyler just moved into a new house and wants to finally figure out what all the light switches do, including the mystery ones.

[Tyler]

Okay. I figured out what the mystery ones do. They go to an outlet outside on the back of the house. That there's just. There's nothing there. This is an outlet for. I'm assuming it's for Christmas lights.

[Ryan]

It's like a Christmas vacation.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

National Lampoon.

[Tyler]

And it's because is like up, up by the. Like the soffit. Yeah. Yep. So it's for sure for Christmas lights. So I figured that one out. And I did. I figured out what the light Switches. Do they. They're all. They're all there for the lights for the most part. Except for the mystery ones.

[Jared]

That's a success.

[Wells]

What do you mean? The. They're all for lights except for the.

[Tyler]

Mystery ones, which is for the outlet outside. I don't have any other outlet switches.

[Wells]

There's no unidentified light switches anymore in your house.

[Tyler]

Yes, I know. What every single one does.

[Wells]

Let's go.

[Ryan]

There's no mysteries anymore.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Wells]

Mission accomplished.

[Tyler]

And I figured that one outside one out because a listener told me to look up top for outlets. The dm Me.

[Jared]

And then a light bulb went off in your head.

[Wells]

It did.

[Tyler]

A light bulb went off.

[Wells]

So you didn't put Christmas lights up this year?

[Tyler]

I'm guessing no.

[Wells]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

No.

[Ryan]

Are you ever going to?

[Wells]

No.

[Tyler]

No.

[Wells]

Why not?

[Tyler]

There are electric through the roof.

[Jared]

Well, they're on the roof.

[Ryan]

Your kids just ain't turning lights off when they're leaving rooms.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And, like, we're in the sticks, so there's only one electric company. They jacked it way the up.

[Ryan]

You should write into your local congressman.

[Tyler]

I should put solar panels?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Put solar panels on your roof.

[Tyler]

Should.

[Jared]

Tyler also put up bird feeders and wants to learn what birds are visiting. Brian says the coolest bird he saw growing up was a painted bunting.

[Tyler]

Yep. I didn't learn about them.

[Wells]

Did you put them up?

[Tyler]

I did put them up.

[Wells]

All right, we'll give you a half.

[Jared]

Thank you.

[Tyler]

I mean, I learned about a couple. I would take pictures and send them to chat GPT and be like, what bird is this?

[Wells]

And what'd you find?

[Tyler]

I don't remember. It's been a hot minute since learn it.

[Wells]

That means you didn't learn it, because when you learn something, you have attention.

[Tyler]

I did not retain it.

[Wells]

Okay. All right, well, we'll give you a half.

[Tyler]

I'll take that.

[Jared]

Miles claims all of Tyler's resolutions are just a humble brag about having a new house.

[Tyler]

You could put bird feeders anywhere. You don't even have to have a new house. Put a bird feeder up, you could be.

[Ryan]

You could be in an apartment. Like, yeah. Floor.

[Tyler]

We could put bird feeders here. You could put one in the park if you wanted.

[Wells]

Yeah, but what is it this year? Is it gonna be like, oh, I'm gonna sweep my garage floor because I have a house now to sweep the garage floor on.

[Tyler]

I've had garages before.

[Wells]

I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if, like, the. The. The estate sale like you had this year just to talk about that. You have an estate now. Wouldn't be surprised. That was on the docket for this year.

[Tyler]

Now I got to redo my fucking list.

[Jared]

Tyler also wants to replace a friend. He's. He's moving away. Feels maxed out socially and wants one new friend nearby. His brother in law is currently the front runner. Or was.

[Wells]

All right, where are we at? Yeah. Who got axed?

[Tyler]

I don't want to name names, but you did ask. I did ask someone. Someone that I have not contacted since I moved into the house.

[Wells]

How's that feel?

[Tyler]

Not bad at all. Does it? I wouldn't say it feels good. Like I'm glad I did it to him, but I don't feel bad about it at all.

[Wells]

Do you feel like you're so. I mean, clearly your life is freed up. You're doing every chore under the sun every night.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. I don't know if I could say I fully replaced it. I've become half friends with my next door neighbor and it's just because you have to.

[Wells]

Yeah, I think everyone is half.

[Tyler]

No, no. Different other neighbor.

[Wells]

The nature of being neighbors.

[Tyler]

Yeah, the other nature is the other neighbor has kids the same age as mine, so we've kind of become friends that way. We'd work on stuff together and then like, what's.

[Ryan]

What's. What are a couple things you got.

[Tyler]

He's gonna come over and help me fix that wood burner that I have that I. Oh, nice.

[Ryan]

The boiler.

[Tyler]

Yep, the wood boiler. He's gonna come over, help me fix that. He knows how to weld. Has a welder, so. That's sweet.

[Ryan]

So are you gonna go. Are you using him or is he an actual friend?

[Tyler]

Both. He's using me. Yeah, he had.

[Ryan]

I love the honesty.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

He asked me to come over. I had to help him carry a wood stove up the stairs and down the stairs and that was heavy.

[Ryan]

Yeah. So he owes you one.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we're neighbors. We'll do that. That's. He gave me a bunch of eggs for Christmas, so I easily help him with the fireplace situation. But I would say the brother in law is probably the cl. He. He filled. He replaced the friend he's in.

[Wells]

I think you shouldn't replace them.

[Tyler]

Why?

[Wells]

Just because it feels good to just start cutting out of your life?

[Tyler]

No.

[Wells]

Not replacing it with anything, you know.

[Tyler]

Well, I can just tell my brother in law that we're not friends. I mean, keep. Keep hanging out.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

I like that. For you in 2026. Okay.

[Jared]

Strictly business.

[Tyler]

So. Yeah, that's. That'll be my. I'll add that to my list of resolutions this year is just tell Gabe he's not my friend anymore.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. Let's just stay brother in laws.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Every time I think of Gabe, I just think of Gabe from the office and it's like, I don't think you're missing much not being friends with him.

[Tyler]

I don't remember that guy seeing one of the new era dudes.

[Jared]

The tall guy, wasn't he?

[Wells]

Yeah, he's a tall, skinny guy. He's. He works with Saber. He's like the. Like the boy for the CEO.

[Tyler]

Anyways, not the guy that steals Aaron.

[Wells]

That is the guy.

[Tyler]

Okay, then I got him.

[Wells]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Nailed it.

[Wells]

Yeah. Nice.

[Jared]

Mine were go to a conference or convention and do nothing.

[Wells]

I did not succeed in that. You didn't succeed in it. And I even gave you the Runway to file an extension. So it tells me you never even really wanted to do it in the first place. Jared.

[Jared]

Yeah, it just didn't work out this year.

[Wells]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

What was. Was this a. Was this a convention on company time? Company dollar?

[Jared]

Yeah. Ideally it would have been, but I mean that didn't really work out.

[Ryan]

Did you ever slip anything?

[Wells]

I was never approached.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Wells]

I was never approached about, hey, I'm looking to improve my leadership qualities. I'm looking to improve editing skills by going to a conference. Here's how much it would cost. What do you think? I was never approached.

[Ryan]

Okay. Okay, that's true.

[Jared]

If you were approached, would you accept.

[Wells]

Happened in this company One time I was approached with someone who wanted to go to a conference.

[Jared]

Yes, I do remember that.

[Wells]

And I did. I did give it the green light and paid for it.

[Tyler]

No. Yeah.

[Wells]

So yeah, I know it's shocking.

[Tyler]

When the fuck did this happen?

[Wells]

Many light years ago. But yeah, there's employee. It was like, hey, I'm interested in furthering my ability at this company. And there's this conference I'd really like to go to. Can you pay for the ticket? I said absolutely.

[Ryan]

One ticket to Andy Elliott, please sell some cars.

[Wells]

Yeah. Ultimately it was undoing because they became so good at their job that they leveled up and went on to do bigger, better things.

[Ryan]

But you know, that's that, that's that. That's the business you're in though.

[Wells]

You're in.

[Ryan]

In the business of growing individuals.

[Wells]

Kind of like a college coach in that sense. I'm only going to get him for four years.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Or to the transfer portal opens up. Yeah.

[Jared]

My other one was beat last year's half marathon time of 3 hours and 10 minutes. I did not train for it at all.

[Wells]

So you didn't?

[Jared]

No.

[Ryan]

Did you do. It was the Chinese marathon. Was that.

[Tyler]

Chinese New.

[Wells]

I had no idea you did a Chinese marathon.

[Tyler]

What.

[Wells]

What's the difference between an American. An American marathon and a Chinese one?

[Jared]

Diets have a lot to do with it.

[Ryan]

Sorry, I forgot to add a word in there. Chinese food marathon. Was that in 2024?

[Jared]

Yes, I did that in 2024.

[Wells]

We're still talking about that.

[Ryan]

Okay, so. And did you do one in 2025? Okay, so. Didn't even attempt. Okay.

[Jared]

No, I just.

[Tyler]

I think that's almost like a prize picks reboot.

[Ryan]

Like.

[Wells]

Like they never even attempted.

[Tyler]

I mean.

[Wells]

So you're saying that. Okay, so a new loophole. If I never even attempted to do the Rubik's Cube, then it would have been a reboot, but. So you're rewarding not even trying, Tyler.

[Tyler]

No. No. So Jared said that he was going to run a sub 31. He didn't say, I'm going to. He's going to get a better score. He didn't say, I'm going to run and get a better score. He said he was going to get a better score. So there was never even an opportunity to get a better score.

[Wells]

That's. He didn't sign up. You didn't try.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I'm trying to help you.

[Jared]

I know, I know. I just. Yeah.

[Wells]

Well, it just turns out that we should just never try. Tyler will just give us a reboot.

[Tyler]

It's a healthy scratch.

[Jared]

We can do a committee vote right now. It's a reboot or not?

[Tyler]

I. I vote yes.

[Ryan]

But I think you only get one reboot, and you have to do it this upcoming year.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Like the.

[Wells]

No, the Res. I mean, you don't prize picks lineup. It just reboots. I don't even know what rebooting means in that sense, but it just reboots and it just doesn't exist anymore.

[Jared]

All right.

[Wells]

Yeah, I mean, I. I'll vote for it. It gives me huge Runway in the future.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Actually start developing reboots. I'll vote it in.

[Ryan]

I'll vote. Okay. Yeah, I don't want to give him that.

[Wells]

Biggest mistake. You know, we should probably go around the room and talk about our biggest mistakes in 2025. Biggest mistake in 2025 was starting the Rubik's Cube because I could have just got a reboot.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

But then again, I don't want to just, like, foot my way through life like Jared, you Know it's true.

[Jared]

You know, you don't want that. My other one was try to retire this year.

[Wells]

How'd that go?

[Jared]

I think I succeeded. I tried to. I went to a casino a couple times.

[Tyler]

Oh, nice, Nice. I know. That counts.

[Wells]

That counts.

[Jared]

So I tried.

[Wells]

I mean, honestly, like this year we definitely, like had a higher hit rate than past years.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah. I think we just gotta. We have to just look over the verbiage of resolutions going forward.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Because I mean, those are back to back resolutions where the verbiage is a little bit iffy and we did not.

[Wells]

And that matters.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that matters.

[Tyler]

Big time.

[Ryan]

Verbiage matters.

[Jared]

My other one was use the phrase canary in the coal mine in a sentence. I'm pretty sure I did it on an episode.

[Wells]

This is. No, pretty sure. It's gotta be black and white. We need to pull the tape.

[Jared]

Yeah, I didn't pull tape on that, but I'm pretty sure I did.

[Tyler]

Someone will find it for you.

[Ryan]

Canary in the coal.

[Jared]

Coal mine.

[Wells]

Canary in the coal mine.

[Ryan]

Coal mine means there's like. I feel like he would have said great band name.

[Jared]

That would be good.

[Tyler]

You might have.

[Wells]

I probably did. So search band name now we see it a lot.

[Jared]

Yeah, so I think I got that one. So I got two out of four.

[Wells]

I think I was one for one.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I think I got all mine.

[Ryan]

I think I did too.

[Jared]

It was a good year.

[Ryan]

Let's go.

[Wells]

We had a great year.

[Ryan]

Not the thousand extra. No. But I didn't even put one in.

[Wells]

So technically you attempted a thousand extra. You did.

[Tyler]

You did.

[Ryan]

No, I don't think so.

[Wells]

We're having a record year. All right, so that was 2025.

[Jared]

Yep. In the rear window.

[Wells]

Any last words about 2025? All right, that's good. On the 2026.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

In the words of Rafiki, it doesn't matter. It's in the past.

[Wells]

It's true. So what, we're just gonna go around the room?

[Tyler]

Yeah, I wrote mine down.

[Wells]

I have. I have three main ones that I'd like to do. Number one, I'd like to laugh more. Number two, I'd like to cry more. Okay.

[Ryan]

I know where this is going.

[Wells]

And number three, I think I'd like to think more.

[Tyler]

You think you'd like to think.

[Wells]

And I just think if I'm able to accomplish that in 2026, that's a full year.

[Ryan]

That is a very full year. That's a lot of tear shed too.

[Jared]

That's a lot of thinking.

[Tyler]

So how are we going to Quantify. We need a base. What's your numbers at for 25.

[Wells]

Jared tried to retire this year. We counted that. What do you mean?

[Tyler]

But I just want to know what's your casino? How much did you laugh in 25? So that we. In 26. If you laugh more or not.

[Ryan]

Yeah, because verbiage matters. In 2026, I think we.

[Wells]

All right.

[Jared]

That's the main slogan for 20.

[Wells]

All right, you're right. I'll. I'll redo it to make it more quantifiable.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Wells]

I will try to laugh more. I will try to cry more. And I will try to think more.

[Tyler]

Okay, nice.

[Wells]

So as long as I just try, then we count it.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Does that work?

[Tyler]

And if you don't try, reboot.

[Wells]

Yeah, but don't even attempt. There's no way I can fail at this.

[Ryan]

I think Michael Jordan said, if you fail, try, try, try again.

[Wells]

Which, if I tried, that would count.

[Ryan]

Correct.

[Wells]

So great advice. Off of the goat. So those are my main three. We can circle back to me, see if I come up with any other ones.

[Tyler]

Meaning Miles for sure had three before the pod, and then he forgot them when it came to the. Came to showtime.

[Wells]

No, no, no, no. I just am a little bit scarred from The Rubik's Cube 2025. No, it's not. It's still in suspension.

[Tyler]

That one's in front still.

[Wells]

And I just. I think traumatized, I think, is the right word for this. For 2026. Traumatized by 2025. New Year's resolution of trying to salt Rubik's Cube by myself and. Yeah.

[Jared]

Would you like to say anything to your future self a year from now?

[Wells]

Hang in there, buddy.

[Tyler]

Tell your future self a joke to help with the laugh more goal.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Wells]

Regardless of what the people in this company try and do to tear you down, just stay strong, brother.

[Ryan]

That's good advice.

[Wells]

Also, eat more fiber. Remember that? Okay. And future self. I think that's it.

[Jared]

Okay, Brian, what's yours?

[Ryan]

You want me to go through all of them or just we go in one?

[Jared]

I think we'll go one at a time.

[Tyler]

Okay. Well, you just kind of felt like they flowed together, right?

[Wells]

That was kind of. It was like a 1. A, B, and C. Have you cried today yet? No, I haven't cried in a while.

[Tyler]

That one, I think, is gonna be the easiest one for you.

[Wells]

Crying.

[Tyler]

Cry more.

[Wells]

That will be.

[Tyler]

Well, yeah, cry more. Because if you cry, then it'll be more.

[Wells]

I know, but the. The real thing is one. I just have to try to Cry. But crying for me in general is very difficult.

[Ryan]

Do you think you.

[Wells]

And I don't mean that as a flex? I'd like to cry, but I can't.

[Jared]

Yeah. That Last of Us episode, you cry.

[Wells]

Yeah. I might have to fire that up again.

[Tyler]

We know what's coming now.

[Wells]

Yeah, you're right. It still might work.

[Tyler]

We need another one of those episodes.

[Wells]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Do you think if we did a crying challenge, you think. Who do you think would win a crying challenge? Like, who can make themselves cry the fastest?

[Tyler]

I mean, can we have physical aids? Like, can I put drops in or onion?

[Ryan]

No, it's gotta be, like, just.

[Wells]

It's, like, not fair because, like, Tyler's mom died, so he's, like, got that fuel to, like, go off.

[Tyler]

I haven't cried about that one in a hot minute.

[Wells]

I know, but that's saying you're taking time, you know? Great band name.

[Tyler]

That probably is a band name.

[Wells]

Definitely. All right, Ryan.

[Ryan]

My first New Year's resolution, 2026. I got that tickle in my throat again.

[Wells]

Get your head figured out is what my resolution for you is. Between your ears, your nose, and your. Your throat.

[Ryan]

I know.

[Wells]

You need to go see it. Ear, nose, and throat.

[Ryan]

I did. I did. They're like, oh, you have mild to moderate hearing loss. Like, all right, sweet.

[Wells]

You need to get a fifth opinion if you've already gone that many times. We got it. We got it. Are you allergic to something?

[Ryan]

I don't know.

[Wells]

Is there mold in your new house?

[Tyler]

It was the flowers at your wedding septum. Maybe.

[Wells]

Yeah, we need to get that schnoziers broken and reset.

[Ryan]

Dv, Septi. Who knows?

[Jared]

You've been sick for, like, a month.

[Wells]

Month.

[Ryan]

I'm not sick, though. I'm not sick anymore. I was sick for you.

[Wells]

Literally walked into my office today. I said, you feeling okay? Do you remember that? The first thing I said to you?

[Ryan]

I was just coughing because I had. No. I had a tickle.

[Wells]

When does it go from being a tickle in your throat to being sick? How many tickles in your throat a day does it equal that?

[Ryan]

I haven't had a tickle.

[Tyler]

The.

[Ryan]

The last tickle I had before this morning was on last week's episode.

[Tyler]

Tickle in your throat. It's great band name.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it kind of is. Okay. My first New Year's resolution, I'd like to run 100 miles. Not consecutively, but just 100 total miles in 2026.

[Wells]

All right.

[Ryan]

Two. About two miles a week.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Doable.

[Ryan]

Very doable.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I might fucking make it 150 and then at the end of the year, my word, run a fucking 100 miler.

[Jared]

So are you on the record to do 150?

[Ryan]

No, I haven't even started running.

[Wells]

100 total miles in a year will not equal that. You're ready for 100 miler? Well, yeah, I just have one more leading. Are you gonna try and do 100 mile marathon?

[Ryan]

No. God, no. Ah, maybe one day. Yeah, maybe in a couple years.

[Tyler]

I'll pick crew for you. I've got experience.

[Wells]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tomato over here.

[Tyler]

Sub three pit.

[Wells]

Yeah. Luigi and what?

[Tyler]

Guido, Guido and Luigi.

[Ryan]

So, yeah, that's my first one. 100 miles. 100 miles.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I'm revisiting a summer to do list From I think 2022 or 2023. I'm finally going to get that done. I'm gonna build a rifle stand. It's been half done for about five years.

[Ryan]

Where's it sitting half done at?

[Tyler]

In the. In its spot.

[Wells]

Oh, yeah, that's great information.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Where is it half done at? Where it's currently sitting in the spot.

[Tyler]

Like in the field where you're gonna shoot deer from?

[Wells]

Yeah, yeah, but is it by your house? Is it, you know, at the.

[Tyler]

The farm where I hunt?

[Wells]

Is that also where your bunker's at?

[Tyler]

No.

[Wells]

So we know. We know where your bunker is.

[Tyler]

Just a goof, you know. Look, it's just the platform and the legs and. It's been the platform and the legs for five years and I just got to put walls on. I have one of the walls built in my garage at home.

[Wells]

All right, do it then.

[Tyler]

I know I've been saying I was gonna do it for five years, so I'm finally gonna get it done.

[Ryan]

See you is you might get a good offer at a next garage sale. On that. On that wall, though.

[Tyler]

It's just the one wall.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Start over again.

[Tyler]

Nope.

[Ryan]

You get a sheetrock and insulated and all that or no.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I got to run power out there and I'm going to trench power in a well, maybe.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Holy natural gas line.

[Wells]

Oh, sorry.

[Tyler]

No, you go ahead. Okay.

[Jared]

Mine is start a terrarium.

[Ryan]

A what?

[Jared]

A terrarium.

[Ryan]

What's that?

[Jared]

So it's like a little ecosystem you put in a mason jar.

[Tyler]

It's like plants and stuff and it like maintains itself, right?

[Wells]

Yeah, that's actually smart. No maintenance, it's just kind of like.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's its own ecosystem. It does what it wants.

[Wells]

All right, do you. Have you looked into that? Is this like what your YouTube shorts feed is.

[Jared]

I looked. I want to do it for a while, but, like, a starter kit's, like, 50 bucks.

[Wells]

Okay.

[Jared]

So I think if I buy donate.

[Wells]

Plasma and then you buy the thing.

[Tyler]

We started GoFundMe.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So is there, like, insects in there?

[Jared]

There can be.

[Wells]

It's the ecosystem. Whatever happens, happens. I think they just look, see, it's kind of a microcosm for life.

[Tyler]

Hey.

[Ryan]

So you don't have to worry about anything dying, really.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

What's the end game with. How long can they last?

[Jared]

Forever.

[Ryan]

So you. You might have this forever?

[Wells]

Could be you could pass it on to his kids someday.

[Jared]

Unless it falls off a shelf.

[Ryan]

I think this is a terrarium.

[Wells]

Yeah. We don't know what's living in there. It's its own ecosystem.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Big blues air is just its own eco.

[Ryan]

We know there's black mold in here.

[Wells]

We know that for sure.

[Ryan]

We don't know what's on top.

[Wells]

Dude. Maybe that's what's going on.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Every week he sits next to big blue air, and he's is tickles slowly dying.

[Tyler]

We didn't see.

[Ryan]

It could be this cabinet mixed in with big blue air, which is black mold. I don't know. This turkey cologne up here. It could be anything.

[Wells]

Yeah, but cba.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's mine.

[Wells]

We're going back around. Come back to me. Go ahead, Ryan.

[Ryan]

Let's see. Next New Year's resolution is, I would like to shoot a deer this year, but with my bow.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Jared]

I like that.

[Ryan]

Last year is just to shoot a deer. This year's a shoot one with the bow.

[Wells]

Good.

[Tyler]

Little level up. Yep, yep, yep.

[Ryan]

We're just gonna take it kind of a recycled one. Not really. I mean, bow and rifles.

[Wells]

No, I know different.

[Tyler]

You could for sure shoot one. You didn't say kill.

[Ryan]

Yeah, well, and I. I get where the.

[Wells]

Like, it's so easy for me to just be like, yeah, I'm gonna stain the shelf this year.

[Ryan]

No, I. And I get where the animosity on your end is coming from when it comes to deer resolutions. Everything that happened with you last.

[Wells]

Time, like, some of us put a lot of work and effort into coming up with our resolutions. And you're just hitting the control C and the control V on the keyboard.

[Ryan]

I think your. Your New Year's resolution, your next one should be to get your skull fixed. So I've been there, done that with a rifle. I'll move on to the next. And then. And then next year, it'll be a spear.

[Tyler]

That'd be sick. I've. I've been getting videos of dudes killing deer with blow dart guns.

[Ryan]

I know. It's so cool.

[Tyler]

I.

[Ryan]

It's all about leveling up.

[Tyler]

My next one is I want to coach something. Really?

[Wells]

Did I not call this.

[Ryan]

Did I think you called it for me?

[Wells]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I called it for Tyler. We were talking about you, kid getting in wrestling, and I'm like, oh, Tyler, you're so gonna end up being a coach. I swear to God. I said that.

[Tyler]

You might have, and I bet you.

[Wells]

And you were like, no, no, no, no, no.

[Ryan]

I know I've said that before.

[Wells]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Tyler]

Never. I really hope he's wrong, but I. I probably said I wouldn't do it, but they're like, my kid starts wrestling tomorrow, and they already don't have enough coaches for all of the sections. And I'm like, I can't do it on Tuesdays because I work here on Tuesdays. So, like, I will help when I can, but I'm not a coach. I'll show up when I show up.

[Wells]

Oh, Lo.

[Tyler]

I was like, hey, that was.

[Wells]

You did say it was to coach something.

[Tyler]

Yeah. So this won't count. This won't count because I'm not a coach.

[Wells]

So what do you want to coach?

[Tyler]

I don't know yet.

[Wells]

Like a spin class, anything.

[Tyler]

I'm just going to coach theory class. Yeah, I'm just going to coach something. I don't know what, but I'm going to coach something.

[Wells]

You could coach Ryan on how to interpret a movie or a book.

[Tyler]

I could.

[Ryan]

I don't care too.

[Tyler]

Great.

[Ryan]

I don't care to.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I know you don't. Even if you ask for it, you don't want it. But I'm gonna coach something.

[Wells]

Okay.

[Tyler]

All right. But I. I told save. I told the guy that I. I can't promise I'll be there on time. I can't promise I'll be there every time. I can't promise I'll be there, period. But if I am, I will help.

[Ryan]

So does wrestling for your. Your kid usually starts in January?

[Tyler]

The kindergarten does. First grade through sixth starts in, like, end of November or early December.

[Wells]

Okay.

[Ryan]

I was gonna say, because if.

[Tyler]

If you.

[Ryan]

If you draw this out until, like, the end of next year, you might just be stuck with basketball.

[Wells]

You just have to coach bass.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yep. So I could coach anything. I could coach.

[Ryan]

That's true.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Again, you could coach CrossFit.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I could coach a Pokemon class. I could coach you up on that.

[Wells]

God, that real. Is there Pokemon class?

[Tyler]

I don't know, but I could make one and then coach it.

[Jared]

Maybe over zoom.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Could come.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

You could be, like, a online fitness trainer. Buy my course.

[Tyler]

Yep. I mean, and I could even give out my coaching skills for free, so then it's even easier to accomplish.

[Wells]

All right.

[Tyler]

Nice.

[Jared]

Mine is riding a helicopter.

[Wells]

That's. That's a sick one, actually.

[Tyler]

Cool.

[Jared]

It's gonna be hard to do.

[Wells]

Have you ever rode in a helicopter?

[Jared]

Never.

[Wells]

Has anyone else? I have.

[Tyler]

I've been in one when we went to the Bush Light Apple drop, they had the Apple helicopter. Yeah. They let me go in it, but I was on the ground.

[Ryan]

I've never ridden in a helicopter.

[Wells]

At the first time, I went to the Wiffle Ball World Series X amount of years ago, one of their buddies flew helicopters for a living. So I got to go in the helicopter, and he did, like, a zero G deal where he just went straight up in the air and then went straight down, and it was like, holy. You know, like, felt. You're floating for a few seconds thinking about it now. So dangerous.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Wells]

You know, I could have been Kobe Bryant. I could have been all over the news.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

And so really, I'm a helicopter survivor, but it was sketchy. It was, like, a pretty small helicopter, too.

[Jared]

I don't want to ride very long. Like, one minute, then I'm done. I don't want to, like, do an hour.

[Tyler]

You got any vacations planned this year?

[Jared]

No.

[Tyler]

Grand Canyon, 150 bucks. Helicopter tour of the canyon. Yeah.

[Wells]

A tour of some sorts will move.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Because I got the tour of Valley City when I did it.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Deadwood has helicopter tours.

[Wells]

You should see the Highliner Bridge from the sky. You think it's great from the road. Oh, my God. You should see it from the sky.

[Jared]

Pizza Quarter.

[Wells]

Pizza Corner. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yep. Pizza Corner.

[Wells]

John's. I don't know. Just you. And believe the amount of rooftop AC units on the Taco John's in Valley City.

[Jared]

He would believe it.

[Wells]

So, yeah, I definitely get a tour of something.

[Jared]

Yeah. I don't know how I'm gonna accomplish it, but I want to.

[Wells]

I mean, yeah, anything is possible.

[Ryan]

You just look online.

[Wells]

It's true.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

All right. I'd like. I'd like to make my garage into a badass garage. This is a few building ones here I'd like throw out. I'd like to. I'd like to really get my garage looking sick. And I don't mean like, organized. Because I think a sick garage is slightly unorganized a little bit. It's organized chaos. But I'd like to get a proper, like, tool chess set, a little workbench. I'd like to get a TV mounted on the wall. I'd like to have tools in certain places, you know, because right now it's like I have one large shelf and then just piles of everywhere. So I'd like to. I'd like to go. I'd like to move on from the pile life in my garage.

[Tyler]

And this is a big moment. We've been talking about your garage piles for years. Yeah.

[Ryan]

You just move garage piles from out from in the garage to just in the entryway where your new shelf is at.

[Wells]

That's true. That's true. No, the piles are my shelf. My shelves are clean.

[Tyler]

No.

[Wells]

Yeah, the floor is the problem. I got to get stuff off the floor.

[Tyler]

Sounds like you have a shelf problem. You need more shelves.

[Wells]

I do need more shelves. So, yeah. I'd like to make that sick. I'd also. It doesn't look like it's gonna happen this winter. I. I wanted to, like, start finishing off my basement this winter. My dad leaves to go on vacation at the end of January.

[Tyler]

Or.

[Wells]

No, end of. Yeah, end of January. And he's my guy to, like, help me with this.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

And so I'm not gonna get it done the next three weeks, so. No, no. God.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Because like, really, it's like framing it up and stuff we're gonna do. And then I'm gonna need to probably hire someone to come in, do the electrical, and then I'll do the Sheetrock, my. You know, like that. But it's not gonna happen this year, so can't even put that out there because it's not gonna happen.

[Tyler]

You could begin the process of starting to think about finishing your basement by.

[Wells]

The end of the year. I want a true plan of execution. There we go. On my base on finishing my basement.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

You're a blueprint guy.

[Wells]

I am. I love a good blueprint. I can look at him for hours.

[Jared]

Yeah. To quantify this, which it should be an official blueprint to accomplish the goal.

[Wells]

Because I do actually have a Pendron blueprint right now. But I can get you a real one. Yeah, yeah, I'll do it.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Wells]

Tempt me with a good time. I'll. I'll. I'll do one out, Jared.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Okay. So to accomplish the garage goal, what, like, what do you do? You have to get a tool chest, a tv, and off the floor. Is that a con?

[Wells]

That is that number one stuff's got to get off the floor.

[Ryan]

Okay. Okay.

[Wells]

Basically, we'll know that I got a better garage next year if just shit's not on the floor.

[Ryan]

Got it.

[Wells]

I gotta get it elevated.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Jared]

Yeah. And mounted a TV in the garage.

[Wells]

Is a huge step. Yeah. And I'd like to backpedal a little on that one. I have the hookups out there for.

[Tyler]

It.

[Wells]

But it might not be mounted. It might just be on a shelf. Big shelf guy. It might be extension cord from the wall down to the floor. But if I put it on, like two. Two by four, like the feet go on two by fours, then it's technically not on the ground. It's elevated.

[Ryan]

I mean, yeah, mounting a TV is really easy.

[Wells]

No, I know, but that's the lowest. I'm probably, like, getting a tool chest much higher.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You can't set on a tv, so.

[Tyler]

If you lay it on its back, you can.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, that's true. It's got to be elevated, though, where the goal is to get off the floor. That's what accomplishes this resolution.

[Tyler]

An old box tv, then you can put on that, too. Yeah.

[Wells]

I don't know. Doesn't matter.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Just throw an iPad out there or something.

[Wells]

Yeah, But I'd like to do that 2026.

[Ryan]

Okay. All right.

[Wells]

I know Anne would like me to do that.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Wells]

She.

[Tyler]

Out here. Do you have a hand holding a gun to you somewhere?

[Ryan]

Excited. My next one is to. I would. In 2026, I would like to rip a 500 or more pull tab.

[Tyler]

Nice.

[Jared]

Oh, I like that.

[Wells]

Been there, done that multiple times. It's electric. You're going to love it.

[Tyler]

I've done it one time and it. It was sweet.

[Ryan]

I think the biggest one I've ever ripped is. Is 400. So good.

[Wells]

I thought you were saying rip a 500 milligram.

[Ryan]

No, I won't make it through 2026. If I do that.

[Tyler]

You'll teleport to 2027.

[Ryan]

Correct. So.

[Jared]

But yeah, if it's like, December 30th, you still haven't hit the pull tab. Just take a 500 milligram edible, then we'll call this good.

[Tyler]

Okay. Yeah, Yeah, I think that's fair.

[Ryan]

And I think I would like to throw the stipulation there. It can be. It can be group pull tabs.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. If the pot you're in on.

[Wells]

Yeah. If you are able to hold in possession that your money was a part of a 500 pull tab or more than you're good.

[Ryan]

Deal. Deal.

[Wells]

I dig that. Now, let's not turn this into a thousand extra. We need you to be putting the reps in this.

[Ryan]

No, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

[Tyler]

My last one is. I want to try a new facial hair. I just want to try it out.

[Wells]

Can we pick it up?

[Tyler]

No.

[Wells]

Please.

[Tyler]

I don't trust you guys at all.

[Wells]

No.

[Tyler]

No.

[Wells]

What did you say? I couldn't.

[Tyler]

I couldn't pull Hitler off anyway. I can't grow it right here.

[Wells]

I just. I just want you to do just the soul patch underneath the lip. That would be sick. Please.

[Tyler]

No.

[Wells]

Please.

[Tyler]

I would consider mustache and soul patch.

[Ryan]

I'll do the soul patch. That's one thing I do have something good enough.

[Wells]

We could become the soul patch Pod.

[Jared]

I would do a soul patch if we all do it.

[Tyler]

Just soul patch.

[Wells]

I don't know if I would because mine is so. Me and Jared, they're so dark. Like, yours is at least scraggly and yours is blonde. Or Jared and I.

[Jared]

It's like a dark sharpie right here.

[Wells]

Yeah. Start growing it out real long.

[Jared]

Yep. In the middle of winter.

[Ryan]

What do you think?

[Wells]

Soul patch.

[Ryan]

What's your head leaning towards?

[Wells]

Chin strap.

[Tyler]

Maybe I crossed my mind.

[Ryan]

No, it didn't.

[Tyler]

Not like, as a legit.

[Wells]

I want to keep this mutton chops.

[Ryan]

I think go fucking Fu Manchu.

[Tyler]

I think full goatee. My is. Is the front runner at the handlebar.

[Wells]

You already did that, though. You've already done goatee.

[Tyler]

Not the full thing. I did mustache and then a little chin cup chin cuff.

[Wells]

I'm pretty sure I've seen you with.

[Tyler]

A full positive, positive, positive chin cup and mustache with no soul.

[Wells]

I hate the word chin cup.

[Tyler]

I don't know what else to call it.

[Wells]

I know. I just rubbed me the wrong way.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Maybe do just the chin cup this year.

[Tyler]

That's worse than soul patch. I do soul patch. Before chin cup could do a niered. Was that neck beard.

[Ryan]

Shave everything but the neck.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's, you know, soul patch.

[Jared]

That's.

[Tyler]

That could be on the list. I'd try.

[Wells]

Put it on the list. I try it.

[Tyler]

I was thinking handlebars is also on.

[Ryan]

The list now in order again. Okay. Again. In order to accomplish this, how long do you got to keep this new facial hair for?

[Tyler]

Until I feel like I've tried it enough.

[Ryan]

Because you could just. Like you could be shaving your beard and then shave it into something coming to work the next day and then shave it all off the next day after that.

[Jared]

I'd say a week.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's my resolution. So.

[Wells]

You know what? I'd like to. I'd like to pay you back off yours, and I'd like to join you.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Yeah. It's a bigger deal for you.

[Wells]

I haven't. I'd like to. I would like to shave my beard off. Well, that's just a mustache or just a soul patch. I'd like to do that this year. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. Ann's never seen me without facial hair. It's probably been a decade since I haven't had any type of facial hair. I'd like to. I like to trim it off.

[Tyler]

All right. Yeah.

[Ryan]

You, you did the goatee back in 2020 for the Trevor Wallace UFC video.

[Wells]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

But you still didn't shave your cheeks, did you? You trim. Just trimmed it up.

[Wells]

Correct us. Too much of a puss? No. I got a few pounds to lose before I do that, but big time.

[Tyler]

It grows back quick.

[Wells]

I'll.

[Ryan]

I would like to piggyback off of both of you. I, I, I've been considering buzzing my head for quite some time now.

[Tyler]

Do it. Feels great.

[Ryan]

So maybe. Yeah.

[Tyler]

How are you? How are your widow's peaks? Bad. Good.

[Wells]

We'll find out.

[Ryan]

I mean, I think you can just see them right now.

[Tyler]

I don't, I don't know.

[Ryan]

My hair's not on my forehead.

[Tyler]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, you got plenty of hair.

[Ryan]

I'm go. I'm gonna. It's gonna be a fade up, though. It's gonna be.

[Tyler]

It'll be. I got a buzz then.

[Ryan]

Yeah, well, it'll be a fade up, and then the top will be buzzed versus just having everything buzzed.

[Tyler]

Buzz is just all one length.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's even.

[Ryan]

Well, the top will be buzzed, and then it'll just be faded up.

[Tyler]

That's a, that's just a low fade.

[Ryan]

Okay. Yeah.

[Wells]

I've never used the clippers on my head in my whole life, so I have to bow out of this one.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Okay.

[Ryan]

I'll just.

[Tyler]

The. It's buzz it. All of it. One millimeter. It feels awesome. You're. You're gonna really like it.

[Ryan]

I mean, that used to be my hair for, like, probably 10 years straight.

[Wells]

Yeah. You're talking to him, like, talking to.

[Tyler]

Me like, I don't know you. You've brought it up like you've never done it before. Like, I think I'm gonna try this.

[Ryan]

I, I haven't done it. Since probably 2011. Thank you.

[Wells]

All right, Jared, you got any more?

[Jared]

I got one more. I want to make a sourdough bread. I want to try it.

[Tyler]

Slippery slope.

[Ryan]

I gotta.

[Wells]

I would love that because I'm a bread guy and I'll try anything, but I've. I saw some videos of, like, sourdough bread fails. They're pretty gross looking.

[Tyler]

Like the goopy ones? Yeah. No, it's. It's. I just feel like you do a sourdough, you get good at it, then all of a sudden, you're. You're starting a garden, and then after the garden, you have chickens, and after the chickens, you're homesteading.

[Jared]

I don't want chickens.

[Wells]

No, dude, he's already on his way talking about terrarium.

[Tyler]

Right?

[Wells]

I mean, it's sick.

[Tyler]

Are we. We're not worried about Ryan being Amish. We have terrarium and sourdough here.

[Wells]

We can't. We can't be a revolving door of people trying to be Amish.

[Tyler]

This podcast, dipping their toes in Mormonism once a. One person a year.

[Jared]

Yep. I'm gonna drink one soda a day.

[Ryan]

He's soaking his toes in.

[Tyler]

No coffee, but I'm gonna have 75 pumps of vanilla in my root beer.

[Wells]

Do you even know where to start?

[Ryan]

No, you start right there with the starter.

[Jared]

That's funny. I'll bring some in.

[Ryan]

If I make it, I'll get you a starter. Need it?

[Wells]

Yeah, it's just yeast or.

[Jared]

What is it?

[Wells]

Yeah, it's a starter.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's a starter.

[Wells]

You have to feed it.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Tyler]

What do you give it? It's like, sugars.

[Ryan]

I. I don't do it.

[Wells]

I don't know.

[Ryan]

I just hear the verbiage going around the kitchen, and I'm like, yes.

[Tyler]

I just. When we. We brewed a whole batch of hooch. Prison hooch. One time in college, and it was just yeast. You know, the funny thing is we didn't know what we were doing.

[Wells]

No, he's. He's told me this so many times. I just can't believe how much your prison hooch college operation gets brought up.

[Tyler]

That might be the first time I've talked about this.

[Wells]

You've told me about the prison hooch.

[Tyler]

I told you about it because I'm pretty sure I talked to you that I went to the. The brewery. You're downtown.

[Wells]

To learn how to make.

[Tyler]

To learn how to do it. And I had to ask the dude working the bar, which I think was you.

[Wells]

It was not me. It's probably my brother because I.

[Tyler]

Because it wasn't one of the. The owners. And I was like, hey, I want to learn how to do this. Who do I talk to? They're like, yeah, well, one of the owners is in the back. We can bring you back there and he'll talk to you. And then they talked to us and told us what we needed to do to brew our own. Because they were like, yeah, that's how we got started.

[Ryan]

I don't think he was going to bring you in the back.

[Tyler]

I mean, the back was right there. It's not like it was through a hallway.

[Wells]

This wasn't.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

I don't know. I don't think it was me.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

I don't know. Maybe the timeline. I just. I feel like. No, I wasn't Domino Dan then. I was.

[Tyler]

That was.

[Wells]

He was downtown Domino Dan.

[Ryan]

I was Downtown Dan getting absolute shitty every. Every night.

[Tyler]

I just.

[Wells]

Me and my brother are going out till 2am every night and then waking up and going. Working concrete, falling asleep. Any second, we stop doing work.

[Ryan]

So, what. Sorry, What? Where were you going with the present?

[Tyler]

I brought it up because we had a. That you had to have a yeast base and we fed it sugar to create the alcohol.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

I dig it. All right. Any other ones? I think that's it.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Wells]

Any other for you guys? Do you have any more written down there?

[Ryan]

Nope.

[Wells]

Good?

[Tyler]

Yeah, I think so.

[Wells]

All right. We got 2026 set. And with that, the 2025 season comes to an end. See you later. What does he say? Have a good one. And with that, the 2025 season comes to an end.

[Tyler]

Good night.

[Wells]

That's what it was.

[Ryan]

Good night. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That sounded good.

[Wells]

Let me take a break.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Wells]

Before we finish this episode, I'd like to discuss my new bed.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah.

[Wells]

I love it.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Wells]

It's taking some getting used to for sure.

[Tyler]

The back sleeping.

[Wells]

Back sleeping. Sleeping in zero G is. You gotta earn it.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Wells]

And what I mean by that is it's just taking me a little. But a little while to adjust. And I know that sounds like. I don't like it. I do like it. It's just weird.

[Ryan]

Yeah, well, they said it was gonna take 30 days.

[Wells]

Yeah. And I'm committed to that. My wife, on the other hand, hasn't slept a single night in zero G. Just like a total slap in the face. Takes 30 days, but. Yeah, maybe 30 days from now she'll start.

[Tyler]

Yeah, she even tried it.

[Wells]

Now the one to sleep the night through it.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

No, not even remotely. Close. I know this because of the remote. It's not even close to her to get her into zero g. Few, few things. A few problems with it.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

A couple hiccups.

[Wells]

So does this ever happen to you guys where like if you're like a little dehydrated, like one of your nostrils to get plugged up.

[Ryan]

Oh yeah.

[Wells]

And then when you're laying flat on a bed, you just roll the other side and then it drains out of that side and the other one.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Wells]

Can't do that. That. Because I found that even if I turn my head, it doesn't turn enough to where it drains out of that side. So that's become a little bit of an issue that I'm navigating. So I got to go flat, lay on my side, drain it, then go back to zero. It's like a whole thing. Actually, I did that one time.

[Ryan]

Middle. Like middle of the night.

[Wells]

No, before I fall asleep. Once I'm asleep, I'm good. Sure. And then once you're up. Right. So like I'm laying in bed flat like this nightstands right here. Right. Can just grab my. Once I go up a little bit now the nightstands behind me. Yeah. Oh. So I'm gonna need to get one of those like grabber things.

[Ryan]

I got one. I got one.

[Wells]

Reach around. Do the old reach around.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Get. So I might have to get a secondary nightstand that goes further down the bed.

[Ryan]

Sure.

[Wells]

To be able to get stuff easily.

[Ryan]

I have an idea. You could get like an extendable nightstand.

[Wells]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Like, you know, like tables extended when they need a leaf in the middle. Just get a nightstand that has a leaf option, but you just use it to pull it out.

[Wells]

Yeah. I'm gonna need to do something. I might just invest in one of those hospital things or like it goes.

[Tyler]

Over top swingy deals.

[Wells]

Swinging on the wheels. Could be good. Could be the move.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

So that's become a little bit of an issue. I've also found that.

[Tyler]

When.

[Wells]

Because we gotta. We gotta have the house where my kid wants the house at, you know, because if it gets too hot or too cold, he's gonna wake up to be a whole thing. Well, his room is. For whatever reason, whatever makes him his room perfect. Makes our room in terms of temperature.

[Tyler]

Okay. Yeah. Age back.

[Wells]

So I'll wake up because he's got it perfectly in his room. It's hot as balls in our room. And you know, like, you know, like if you're laying on flat on your side, like you can just kind of like move around a little bit to the cool Part of the bet. Well, if I'm just laying on my back, I can only shift if like 6 inches. I'm still halfway in the hot spot.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

We're talking twin xl, so that's becoming a little bit of an issue that I'm working through.

[Tyler]

It sounds like you need accident sheets in your.

[Wells]

Well, they make those things where like it goes underneath the sheet and blows cool air underneath your sheet. I maybe need to invest in one of those. Now this bed setups turn it into a. I gotta buy a new nightstand. My reading light thing doesn't. I need an extender on that. So I need to get a new reading light. Need to blow air through there. Then I'll be good.

[Ryan]

We're looking at a second mortgage here for this. Zero GS.

[Wells]

But all in all, my back hasn't hurt since I started doing it, so. That's sweet. My back didn't hurt a ton before.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

But I'm like, I got no chance of getting a back injury now.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

We could be looking at rotator cuff now though, if you're having to reach around.

[Wells]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Labrum rotator cuff.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

So once I work through those kinks. Be good.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You're figuring it out.

[Wells]

We're having to figure out the. The comforter too.

[Tyler]

The.

[Wells]

The. In the fancy community, the duvet.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Wells]

Because we have a king bed and we have a king duvet comforter blanket. And it works great when we're both flat. But if I go up it then like becomes too short. Sure. So now I have the one we were using and Anne's got this other ones, but they're both king size one, so we just have way too much.

[Tyler]

Comforter now get two twin comforters.

[Wells]

Yeah. But I don't know if twin might be too. Too narrow still. So it might be like a full size. 2 full sizers or something like that.

[Ryan]

Could you get like a King XL comforter so it's bigger and then when it shortens up, it's like a king comforter at that point.

[Wells]

A King xl.

[Tyler]

California King. Look at.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

A California King. Well, I just. We don't need it as wide, but.

[Ryan]

When you're up, it's going to shorten up. Are you saying it shortens up from the end?

[Wells]

Well, I'm saying we're going the Scandinavian two comforter system. Them.

[Tyler]

Okay. Which I think is the correct move.

[Wells]

Correct. It's the only move. It's only. We tried the other one. They don't make wider. They don't make wider comforters than a king. So. Yeah. So there's a whole new host of problems that I have to go through that I didn't realize I was signing up for. But it's fine. Because if zero GS the way, you know, I'm sold. You know, like, if you're going to be a disciple of Jesus, there's stuff that you're not going to want to do. You know, if I'm gonna be a student of the zero G, there's just trials and tribulations I'm gonna have to go through with that.

[Tyler]

I think we can fix some problems for you right now. For your reading light situation. You're just. You're chilling in bed with a cap light.

[Wells]

Correct.

[Tyler]

Done.

[Wells]

Nice.

[Tyler]

Easy. Like, it doesn't have to do anything.

[Ryan]

Or just a headlamp.

[Wells]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So it doesn't have to wear a cap.

[Wells]

So then I'm like, hey, Anne, did you lock the door? And I look at her and shine around.

[Tyler]

Well, make sure she's vigilant. Yeah, yeah. We already solved your nightstand. You just need a leaf. You just need a nightstand that has a leaf option for it. So you can extend.

[Wells]

Yeah. Like a kickstand almost.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Or what? You could just turn your nightstand 90 degrees.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So then now it's the long way.

[Wells]

Yeah. Yeah, you're right. You could do that. That'd look good. Easy.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Okay. Problem number two.

[Jared]

You could wear your thermal to bed.

[Ryan]

There we go.

[Jared]

Because it keeps it cool and warm.

[Tyler]

You did say that.

[Wells]

Yeah, that is true. I haven't tried that. I'll try that tonight.

[Tyler]

More your other problems, I think also.

[Wells]

The sheets are a problem. I was doing some research on sheets, and certain materials are cooler and warmer than others, and I think Anne bought the hot ones. Flannels? No. Like, you wouldn't even think, like, certain cotton types and they're hotter than others.

[Ryan]

Like, what's a hot cotton and what's a cool cotton?

[Wells]

I don't know. Oh, no.

[Tyler]

Does that have to do with thread count?

[Wells]

No, I. I also learned that any count, thread count over 400 is just a marketing gimmick. It doesn't make them any better.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Okay, so 400, you're good.

[Jared]

You said Hot ones is like the show Hot Ones. The logos are on the streets.

[Wells]

I love that bald guy. What's his name?

[Jared]

Shot Evans.

[Wells]

I love Sean Evans. Yeah. I have chicken wing sheets. The hot one's logo littered on it.

[Tyler]

It's too hot. Diablo sauce pillows.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Yeah. Like, apparently linen sheets are very, very Cool. But, you know, I'm not gonna sleep on linen sheets.

[Tyler]

You're not the Amish one. Jared will get linen sheets soon.

[Wells]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah, yeah. What about silk sheets?

[Wells]

I feel like it's too. It's. It's just too. Like I have a kid, you know.

[Ryan]

It'S too Hugh Hefner.

[Wells]

It's too Hugh Hefy.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Wells]

You know, like, I miss my window for silk sheets in my life now. I can return back to silk sheets territory once I'm an empty nester. If you got kids in the house, they're gonna grow up and be like, things I didn't realize were weird until I got older. My parents had silk red burgundy sheets. You know, I can't do that to my children. Yeah. You know, it's like your kid hops into bed with you to watch a movie. He's in silk sheets, just feels scummy.

[Tyler]

Jumps on the bed, he just slides off the other slip and slides.

[Wells]

Like it just seems not good.

[Jared]

Fair enough.

[Wells]

So, yeah, I did look at silk sheets, but decided against it for those reasons. So, yeah, we. We got some new sheets in the mail today. Yesterday or today. I remember. But it's. It's been a whirlwind of bedding and mattresses in the last week. I did not. I did not realize what I was getting myself into, but now I'm in it.

[Tyler]

I think it would help if you stop sleeping in your 1920s full pants and button up and cap pajamas. Oh, yeah, that would probably help.

[Wells]

Yeah. Like Ebenezer screws style. Yeah, I should stop that.

[Jared]

Yep. Little candle.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you can't reach it though, because it's so far behind.

[Ryan]

Knock it over, the whole bed burns up.

[Wells]

I don't even know if the 15 year warranty covers. Bed burns.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Would be a good way to find out if it's fire retardant or not, though.

[Tyler]

0G'S. There's no atmosphere in space for it to burn.

[Wells]

So it's true.

[Tyler]

Probably stuff out.

[Wells]

So, yeah, that's where I'm at. That's the update on the bed. I am loving it. Just a lot of things, you know, didn't realize. You know, it's. When you level up your life, there's a whole new set of problems. You know, more money, more problems. You know, like you win the lottery, you don't lose. You don't. You still have problems. They're just, you know, very wealthy people. Problems, problems. And mine's just having a nice bad problems. I'm just trying to stay cool, you.

[Ryan]

Know, crack the window.

[Jared]

Get a fan.

[Wells]

Yeah, could get a fan that's basically up there. But now. Oh, my God. My sleeping setup is crazy. Second nightstand, extended light, fan blowing on me. Certain kind of sheet. My own comforter. Yeah. And I'm also battling the pillow right now. This is a pillow that. Because a pillow that. The pillow that I've trusted and known for years, it's become a little bit of a liability because when you're sleeping with your head slightly up, it changes. And you're sleeping on your back, it changes how much padding you want and stuff. And then the one. Because I think I need a really thin pillow now. And the thinnest pillow we had. I used it for a night. Right, too. I forgot about this. And I'm. I'm just for sure allergic to down stuff. And the pillow was down, and I was battle. I was like, Ryan just all plugged up and. And just. She got pissed me and she passive aggressively started like, ruffling around in her nightstand. I was like, what are you doing? She's like, I'm looking for my headphones. Because I was like, because I was having allergic reaction in the pillow.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that'll happen.

[Tyler]

And you couldn't see her, so you had no idea what she was doing over there.

[Wells]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And headlamp comes into play.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Wells]

So now. So now I'm on the search for the right pillow. I'm like, it's a lot. It's a lot.

[Ryan]

Can you imagine, like, someday if you go to go and sell your house to. People walking through it are gonna walk up and look at the master bedroom. Like, what the. What's going on in here?

[Tyler]

Astronauts.

[Wells]

I mean, they're just gonna think someone was like. Like, like on bed rest.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Hospital.

[Wells]

I think they did a hospital setup because it's like when I'm in zero GS, just looks like I'm in a hospital.

[Tyler]

We've been doing hospice. Our hospital hospital style videos lately. We have your bed to use, honestly. Yeah.

[Wells]

It is perfect. And it just looks like I'm in a hospital.

[Ryan]

So no aches and pains or anything, waking up, if that's good.

[Wells]

No, it's good. If anything, I think it's. I think it's actually aligning my body better. So kind of had the little bit of the nerd neck going. And I feel like I'm slow. It's. It's helping fix that.

[Tyler]

Losing the hump.

[Wells]

Yeah. Because I. I definitely got a hump from just being chronically on my phone.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It's pretty good to get the nerd next. Get it fixed after a couple days only.

[Wells]

Well, no, I'm saying I'm out my way. Oh, sure.

[Ryan]

It's in the fee. It's in your future.

[Wells]

Yeah, it's omw. I just texted you, you know, which means that I'm like just putting my clothes on.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'm just hopping in the shop.

[Wells]

My clothes is where I'm at in the process of fixing my nerd neck. My bed from just sleeping.

[Jared]

What if you put like Velcro on the back of the pillow? Would that do anything?

[Wells]

The sliding isn't the issue. It actually stays in place really nicely. It's just how much of this there is, you know, like too much.

[Tyler]

What?

[Wells]

This?

[Ryan]

Have you tried flipping around so your head's at the foot and your legs are elevated?

[Wells]

So I'm just like.

[Tyler]

I'm just.

[Ryan]

I'm trying to help you fix problems here.

[Wells]

It sounds like zero G is not the problem. Got it. Don't try and fix zero g. It's everything around it. Sheets, you know.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, I get it.

[Wells]

So I'll keep you updated throughout the month.

[Ryan]

Please do. Okay, we'll do a 30 day check.

[Jared]

In one fun fact. On average, your spinal cord stops growing at 4 years old. Your spinal cord consists of a bundle of nervous tissue and support cells that are responsible for sending messages from your brain throughout your body.

[Wells]

So it just stretches as you get taller?

[Jared]

Apparently, yeah.

[Wells]

Gotta foresee that question Stops growing.

[Ryan]

So did they send the messages to your brain or they send them to your consciousness?

[Wells]

It's a very good question.

[Tyler]

Why did you start.

[Wells]

You guys are finally awakening and asking the right questions. We're woke now. I would probably interpret it as that it's going to your brain, which is then communicating with your consciousness. Because there's stuff that happens that aren't thoughts. You know what I mean? Like your brain's doing stuff that you're not thinking about. So I think your spinal cord's communicating with the. With the brain directly.

[Jared]

It's all connected.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Wells]

The spinal cords connect to the consciousness. Well, actually, technically, yeah. Consciousness is the fabric of energy that combines everything. So technically, yeah, you could just do that with anything. My toenails connect. Connected to the consciousness.

[Jared]

It rolls off the tug.

[Wells]

My consciousness is connected to the toenail. You know, it just goes either way. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Infinite loop. All right.

[Wells]

Is that it?

[Jared]

Yep, that's it.

[Wells]

Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to the first episode of 2026. Have a great week. We'll see you in the next one.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

If the four of you worked at a car dealership together. Who would sell the most cars on a monthly basis, and what would each of your sales tactics be?

[Wells]

Ryan would sell the most cars.

[Tyler]

I'll say. Jared.

[Wells]

No, no. Ryan's selling the most cars. I would sell cars, but only when I was feeling it. Like. Like when I'm feeling it, I'm the best car salesman in this room, but I am not feeling it enough to beat Ryan on a monthly basis.

[Tyler]

What's the percentage of feeling it to not?

[Wells]

What do you mean?

[Ryan]

How often are we talking? Like, 10 of 30 days.

[Wells]

Oh, yeah. So, like, let's say we work five days a week. Well, six days. We're car dealership. Six times four. 24 days. I'm probably heater feeling it. Four out of those 24.

[Ryan]

Sure.

[Wells]

I'm medium feeling it about. I'd say 12 of those days. Okay. And then the last, however, I'm not feeling it at all. Yeah.

[Ryan]

You're on pto.

[Wells]

It's like a full week out of the month. I'm not feeling it. So, yeah, Ryan's gonna be locked in. Even if my ceilings may be higher on selling a car, it's like, talent wise, he's gonna beat me with sheer heart and grit.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

What would your sales tactics be, Ryan?

[Ryan]

Oh, I think instead of letting him just take it for a test drive, I think I just let him take it home for a day.

[Jared]

Oh.

[Ryan]

And just. Just see what it looks like in the driveway. Because I feel like if you have it for a day, you walk into the house, you look at it out the window.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

It looks pretty nice. And then you have. You walk back out to it the next day. Like, it's gonna feel good walking out to it that next day. I'd probably just knock off as much cash as I could too. Like, I'd be doing volume, but in terms of my percentage, it's gonna be down because I'm not.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Knocking dollars off the top.

[Jared]

And then do the sales tactic like my manager is gonna kill me, but I want to give you a deal.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Oh, I would be watching so much fucking Andy Elliott it.

[Wells]

Oh, my God. I was just thinking about that.

[Ryan]

I. I can't even explain how, like.

[Wells]

Ask me how many cars I'm gonna sell.

[Jared]

How many cars you gonna sell?

[Wells]

40. Just kidding. 4,000. Why not add a couple zeros? It's the difference.

[Ryan]

Boom.

[Wells]

I just sold 4000 cars. What have you been doing? My tactic. Thanks for asking, Jared.

[Jared]

What's your.

[Wells]

It's gonna be. I'm Gonna be the paint the picture guy. I'm gonna. I'm gonna make it so that they. They can't view their life without it. And something I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna target families. When you're feeling it, what I'm feeling.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Well, I'm really feeling it. Targeting families. So I got about four solid days. But the amount of cars I'm gonna sell in those four days, I mean, sane. So I'm gonna target families. And what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna invest initially off the probably wondering Miles. What?

[Jared]

Miles. What?

[Wells]

What?

[Tyler]

What?

[Wells]

And what I'm going to do is I'm going to paint a picture. That one. We're just. We're a family dealership. Bring your family on. Bring your family on in. We got snacks for them. We got a place they can play. And then when they're like, we got to do it. Let's do a test drive. And they're going to be like, I'd love to, but who's going to watch our kids and be like, I already loaded it up with car seats. Get them in there.

[Ryan]

It's a good tactic.

[Wells]

And you're like, wow. It's like, oh, that's so nice. That's the service that they're looking for. They want to buy from you. It's like, no, no. So to do is you're going to get the kids to fall in love with the car.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

If the kids can't live without it, the parents can't live.

[Tyler]

Blue is already playing on the. The rear players for sure.

[Wells]

And. And then you, while you're doing the test drive, you're like, do you guys hear that? And they're like, no. I'm like, exactly. Your kids have made a peep since they've gotten into the car. Sure. You know, like that.

[Tyler]

Yeah, sure.

[Ryan]

They're like, whoa. Yeah.

[Wells]

Just imagine a road trip in here.

[Ryan]

What if they're like, hey, silence. I don't want it too comfy back there because I don't want car naps.

[Wells]

I'm working on that.

[Ryan]

Sure. Okay.

[Wells]

They have volume control on the tv.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Wells]

Kid's not falling asleep if he's staring at a screen, dude.

[Ryan]

Sure.

[Wells]

That's the problem. The car. If they're looking like, if we were to put Ms. Rachel up to my kid, he ain't falling asleep on the way home.

[Ryan]

Got it.

[Wells]

So actually, I solved it already. By sub addition by subtraction. Yeah.

[Jared]

Just hit the rumble strips a little bit.

[Wells]

What would be your tactic, Tyler?

[Tyler]

I think I would convince the boss to have a second lot with a different name. And I would be the hard nose salesman. Be like, well, if you think a different lot can beat this price, you're more than welcome to go check it out over here. And then it's me again with a mustache, and I beat that price.

[Ryan]

Fake mustache.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Okay. Because I was gonna say you. You jack up all the prices in the second lot.

[Tyler]

Either one.

[Wells]

So then they have to do the walk of shame and come back.

[Tyler]

Yeah, Both we do. We mix it up with every customer, depending on. On their vibe.

[Wells]

Yeah, I like that.

[Tyler]

Y.

[Wells]

You think mustache will work?

[Tyler]

It could. It could.

[Wells]

So you're gonna have to invest in, like, a. Like a good makeup artist.

[Tyler]

Yeah, like Hollywood level prosthetics. You guys have seen the commercials for Chad Powers. I'm talking, like, Hollywood makeup. Like that. Boom. You're more than welcome to go check out the lot right over there, see if they can beat this price. And then I quick run into our hallway, they put my makeup on, and boom, here I am. Hey, welcome. Over there. Send you here.

[Wells]

I was thinking do one of those masks like on Mission Impossible.

[Tyler]

I don't know if you remember that.

[Wells]

Like, put the mask on, and it's like, clearly just the actor, but they, like, act like it's like this really perfect mask. Yeah, no, it's.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Anyways, it just. The muscles in the face move perfectly on this random rubber mask.

[Ryan]

Sure.

[Wells]

Yeah, it's.

[Tyler]

It is completely. All right.

[Wells]

I like that. What about you, Jared?

[Jared]

I'd probably do a desperation tactic. Just kind of do a pity story to each customer. Like, I need to sell a car today. Probably don't shower before I go in every day.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I got. Yeah, I got two kids at home.

[Wells]

I'm.

[Tyler]

I'm.

[Ryan]

What do they call that? Widow for a husband?

[Wells]

It's just called a widower.

[Tyler]

Widower.

[Ryan]

Widower.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah, widower. I got, you know, three kids at home.

[Tyler]

You could have, like, a crack pipe on there on your desk. So I think you're just really down on your luck.

[Wells]

Yeah, yeah. Just kind of threaten that you're gonna relapse if they don't buy the car.

[Tyler]

I don't know what I'm gonna do if. If I don't sell a car to anything.

[Wells]

I just, like, pull out the crack pipe and just start looking at it. Be like, I just don't know what I'm gonna do.

[Tyler]

And you have your.

[Wells]

Your last time that I was in this scenario, I got a divorce, and I no longer see my Kids.

[Tyler]

And you have your 12 year sober chip on the desk too of like, God, I'd hate to lose this.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Ye recovering alcoholics and drug addicts. And then they can bond with you and they will basically become your sponsor. And you're like, hey, the best way to become my sponsor. Just buy this car.

[Tyler]

Keeps you from.

[Jared]

Buy this Hyundai.

[Wells]

Hyundai Sonata. It's a good, It's a good tactic.

[Jared]

And then I would quickly identify their hobbies and then tailor the sales pitch to the them. So if they're into woodworking, I'm like, you can fit a lot of wood in here.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Yeah, that's good. That's good. I like that. Maybe you can find them a wood paneled PT Cruiser. That.

[Tyler]

That's. Yeah, that's. I bought my Chevy Traverse because I could fit like a bunch of two by fours in it. If they go all the way up to the driver's seat.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Wells]

Do you bring your tape measure for that?

[Tyler]

Uhuh.

[Ryan]

Maybe they're into smoking meat. You could be like thinking of sausages you can get in here.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Like you should see the exhaust in this thing. It looks just like a smoker.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Wells]

Plus also you can smoke in here. The person before you did too. You can smell it.

[Tyler]

So you won't even be ruining the interior. It's already ruined.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And see, that's me being transparent. Because I'm the most transparent car salesman out here.

[Wells]

Yeah.

[Jared]

You know, I also need crack.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Wells]

I forgot that that's also part of your pitch. Guys, if you want more, you bet your radio. You gotta check out our Patreon. You gotta go to patreon.com you betsradio or look us up on the app. And we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you got to check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.