You Betcha Radio – Ep: "Pumpkin Patches OR Pumpkin Carving?"

Date: October 20, 2025

Episode Overview

In this quintessentially Midwestern, comedy-packed episode, Myles, Ryan, Tyler, and Jared debate autumnal traditions: pumpkin patch visits, pumpkin carving, and coordinated family Halloween costumes. Spirited as always, the gang delivers banter saturated with nostalgia, local culture quirks, and a healthy dose of self-deprecating humor. They riff on everything from their loathing of family photo sessions to the “proper” way to wear a belt, with mascot suit horror stories and $1 business ideas sprinkled throughout.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. "Fornicate, Assassinate, Elope": Fall Traditions

(00:00–03:52)

• The hosts play a fall-themed take on "Marry, Fornicate, Kill" with three options:

  • Pumpkin patch trips
  • Pumpkin carving
  • Coordinated family costume themes

  Pumpkin Carving Love

  • All agree carving is the most tolerable and even enjoyable, but only in moderation:
    • "I like to carve one pumpkin a year. That's it." — Myles [00:51]
    • "If you're doing pumpkin carving more than five times a year, you got..." — Michael [00:58]

  Pumpkin Patch: The ‘Booty Call’ of Fall Activities

  • Jared likens pumpkin patch visits to a last resort late-night hookup:
    • "Pumpkin patch is like a booty call when, like, you're having a terrible day, struck out at the bar, then I guess then I'll…fornicate with the pumpkin patch." — Jared [01:29]

  Assassinating the Family Costume Theme

  • Overwhelming agreement on "killing" coordinated costumes:
    • "A coordinated family costume is going to come with a photo session. Correct. Which I do not want to be a part of." — Miles [02:33]
    • "Posting or not, I don't want to be even there for the taking of them." — Miles [02:46]

2. Pumpkin Carving Details: Scent & Seeds

(01:01–01:21)

• Jared and Troy rave about pumpkin carving's distinctly nostalgic scent:
  • "When I'm carving a pumpkin, I love the smell." — Jared [01:01]
• Consensus on roasted seeds as a key perk—"definitely gonna marry the hell out of that one." — Jared [01:16]

3. Costume Photo Session Dread & “$1 Ideas”

(02:23–03:43)

• The team pitches the idea of hiring a stand-in for costume photos:
  • "You always pick one that you can't see your face and then you just pay a guy to stand in for the photos for you." — Jared [03:06]
  • "You can make tens of dollars on that idea." — Miles [03:22]
  • They entertain a segment of intentionally bad "dollar ideas," poking fun at their own originality.

4. Mascot Costume War Stories

(03:52–05:12)

• Troy and Myles swap battle tales from their days inside mascot costumes for minor league baseball teams and radio stations.
  • "I wore the mascot suit probably like five, six times. I never smiled for a single picture ever." — Troy [03:52]
  • Troy describes enduring brutal heat inside:
    • "I'm clinging on to my life...it's 115 degrees in there." — Troy [04:06]
  • Myles admits to habit-smiling inside a frog suit:
    • "I instinctively smiled and everyone like, I'm an idiot. Why am I doing this?" — Miles [04:16]
• The group debates whether 50% of them being ex-mascots is “concerning.”

5. Mascots: Social Awkwardness & Mischief

(05:12–05:28)

• Michael admits he never knows how to interact with mascots.
• Jared claims that playful “sack tap” gags aimed at mascots “always plays—kids love it.” [05:25]

6. The Great Belt Debate: Clockwise or Counterclockwise?

(05:34–09:13)

• The crew dives into “the proper way” to put on a belt and reveals the surprising tradition:

  • "Men typically wear their belts counterclockwise, so the excess...hangs on the left, while women traditionally wear them clockwise..." — Troy [06:28]
  • Revelations about zipper placements on men’s vs. women’s jackets, leading to accidental cross-dressing stories.

• Worn-out belts’ tendency to curve sparks speculation on causes: humidity, moon tides, and even Canadian wildfire smoke get blamed in classic tongue-in-cheek fashion:

  • "Maybe it's the humidity in your house." — Michael [08:07]
  • "Probably the smoke from Canada." — Miles [08:41]

• The segment closes with some good-natured anatomical jokes about belt curves.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Fall Traditions:

  • "Can we all agree that we have to elope with pumpkin carving for sure, because there's no public shame in pumpkin car." — Troy [00:38]
  • "A coordinated family costume is going to come with a photo session. Correct. Which I do not want to be a part of." — Miles [02:33]
  • “You can make tens of dollars on that idea.” — Miles [03:22]

• On Mascot Woes:

  • "I wore the mascot suit probably like five, six times. I never smiled for a single picture ever." — Troy [03:52]
  • "I instinctively smiled and everyone like, I'm an idiot. Why am I doing this?" — Miles [04:16]

• On Belt-Wearing Rituals:

  • "Men typically wear their belts counterclockwise, so the excess end hangs on the left." — Troy [06:28]
  • "It also looks super bad." — Jared [07:22]
  • "Maybe it's the moon location and the tides. It's probably curving it, you know?" — Jared [08:30]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00-03:52 — “Fornicate, Assassinate, Elope” with pumpkin traditions
• 01:01-01:21 — The smell of pumpkin and love for seeds
• 02:23-03:43 — Costume photo session avoidance, “$1 ideas”
• 03:52-05:12 — Mascot horror stories and jokes
• 05:34-09:13 — Belt-wearing protocols and jokes about belt curvature

Conclusion

Packed with Midwestern banter, crowd-pleasing nostalgia, irreverent pitches for impractical businesses, and relatable laments about photo ops and mascots, this episode stands as a prime example of You Betcha Radio's charm. The group’s authentic conversation feels like eavesdropping on friends, serving up approachable humor for anyone who’s ever picked a pumpkin, worn a costume, or struggled with a belt.

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