Ryan is a Facebook Marketplace Wizard

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Ryan is a Facebook Marketplace Wizard"

You Betcha Radio
Date: May 26, 2026
Host: Myles ("You Betcha Guy")
Regulars: Ryan, Tyler, Jerrod
Theme: Midwest life, humor, buying & selling tips

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Episode Overview

This episode blends classic Midwest banter with signature humor as Myles and the You Betcha crew tackle listener questions on two favorite Midwest topics: the "proper" way to cut a frozen pizza and the art of Facebook Marketplace negotiations. Ryan, dubbed the "Facebook Marketplace Wizard," shares his savvy tips for haggling, while the gang riffs on pizza, power tools, and man-cave logic.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. [00:00–03:35] The Great Frozen Pizza Debate

• Introductory Banter: The episode opens with a listener's whimsical question—“What’s the proper way to cut a frozen pizza?”—sparking a spirited debate reminiscent of every Midwest family gathering.
• Triangles vs. Squares:
  • Ryan: "If I'm getting it from a restaurant, squares are elite... But if I'm at home, I am probably cutting it into triangles eight ways." (00:28–01:01)
  • Others: Agree that pizza size and crust thickness are huge factors—big or thin crust gets you squares; thick or smaller pizzas are better as triangles.
• The Edge Piece Dilemma:
  • Tyler: Jokingly complains about "crust-only" triangles: "It's like a triangle this big of just crust." (01:31)
  • Ranch, Garlic, Red Pepper: The team agrees on the sacredness of dipping, with Tyler quipping, "Dipping a little ranch... what are you doing better. Little red pepper on top." (01:35–01:41)
• Cutting Frozen Pizza (Literally):
  • Jokes About Power Tools: All riff on the absurdity (and secret appeal) of using a table saw or similar to pre-cut a frozen pizza:
    • Myles: "Take the frozen pizza to a table saw—what you want." (02:14)
    • Ryan: "Cutting it. It catches on the table saw. Shoots back into your stomach." (02:25)
  • Spiral Cuts and Gags: Jokes about cutting pizza into a spiral like a party streamer, or making “pizza balls,” keep the mood light and goofy.

2. [03:35–07:31] Facebook Marketplace Negotiation Masterclass (Ryan’s Marketplace Minute)

• Scenario: A listener wants advice on negotiating the purchase of a fifth wheel camper listed for $10,000 (down from $13,500), described as “need gone,” with an hour drive to view.
• Ryan's Tactics:
  • Go Lower: "I don't want you to go 8 [thousand]. I want you to go $7,500. Say, 'Hey, $7,500 cash. I'll come look at it and pick it up Friday.'" (03:59–04:18)
  • Friday Strategy: Stressing that picking up on a Friday is psychological gold—sellers are more likely to close, heading into the weekend with cash in hand:
    • "When people know that, like, going into the weekend for that person with $7,500 is... a great move." (04:14)
  • Inspection Clause: Always clarify—if inspection is disappointing, just back out:
    • Tyler: "Do you not say like per inspection, like you. What if you show up and it's way shittier than the pictures?"
    • Ryan: "You can back out of the deal." (04:44–04:54)
  • Negotiation Game: Start a little lower than your “real” offer to allow wiggle room.
    • 7,500 is a "clean number," and leaves the seller space to counter—if they say $9,500, "let him sweat it out a little... He needs it gone. Let him sweat it out for a day. It works." (06:28–06:47)
  • Cash Mentality: The team jokes about what you do with Friday cash vs. weekday cash:
    • Tyler: "Like, you get $7,500 bucks on a Tuesday. You're like, I should probably put this towards my life insurance."
    • Ryan: "You get it on Friday. You're like, I'm gonna buy a four wheeler this weekend." (07:06–07:17)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Having a pizza on a pontoon cut into squares is about as peak as you can get in terms of pizza." – Ryan (00:33)
• "You could like put [a spiral-cut pizza] in your mouth like one of those party decoration hangers." – Tyler (03:11)
• "Take the frozen pizza to a table saw—what you want." – Myles (02:14)
• "If you did the spiral thing, you could like put it in your mouth like one of those party decoration hangers." – Listener 1/Tyler (03:11)
• "Flash your J rant... Adam Finger J. Finger J. I'm out of here." – Listener 2 & Ryan, joking about negotiating tactics (04:55–05:07)
• "7,500. It's just a good... It's a clean number. 0, 2,500, 5 grand, 7,500, 10 grand." – Ryan (05:46–05:51)
• "That's great advice." – Myles, wrapping up the negotiation segment (07:25)

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• 00:00–03:35: Frozen pizza cutting—Midwest styles, pizza physics, and tool jokes
• 03:35–07:31: Facebook Marketplace buying—fifth wheel camper negotiation, Ryan’s practical dealer strategy

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Tone & Style

Staying true to the show's Midwest roots, the conversation is playful, dry-witted, and loaded with familiar group dynamic energy. The regulars poke fun at themselves, sprinkle in rural wisdom, and blend practical advice with small-town comedic charm.

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Conclusion

The episode delivers exactly what You Betcha fans crave: authentic Midwest laughs, invaluable man-cave advice, and camaraderie that feels like sitting around a lakefront bonfire. Whether you're shopping for campers on Facebook Marketplace or just trying to cut your frozen 'za the "right" way, Ryan and the gang have you covered—with plenty of laughs in between.

Transcript

[Host]

This is a good segue question, Mrs. Luther. What's the proper way to cut a frozen pizza?

[Listener 1]

1.

[Listener 2]

I thought we were gonna get a question about Segways because you said this is a good segue question. So a little disappointed that it wasn't about a Segway.

[Listener 1]

Segway tour Chicago. Check out the bean.

[Listener 2]

Everyone get your helmet on. Best way to cut a pizza.

[Host]

I mean, frozen pizza.

[Listener 2]

A frozen p. I'm. I, I think we've discussed this a little bit before. If I'm getting it from a restaurant. Squares are elite. I think we talked about that. Getting. Having a pizza on a pontoon cut into squares is about as peak as you can get in terms of pizza.

[Expert/Advisor]

Yeah.

[Listener 2]

But if I'm at home, I am probably cutting it into triangles eight ways. Eight slices

[Expert/Advisor]

for me. So four. Yeah. Four different ways up and down across diagonal. Diagonal. Yep. Yeah, yep.

[Listener 1]

Yeah, that's for me. It's the size of the pizza. Like if it's a big ass one, I'm not going to do the triangles. I'm going to square it.

[Listener 2]

I also, it also depends on the crust thickness. If it's a thin crust, I'm much more willing to cut it into squares for sure.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Listener 1]

Yeah. Because then the outside pieces aren't as stupid.

[Listener 2]

Yeah. You're just getting. It's just a breadstick. I mean, I love. I eat it. I only eat the edge pieces.

[Listener 1]

It's like a triangle this big of just crust.

[Expert/Advisor]

That's awesome.

[Listener 2]

To me.

[Expert/Advisor]

Dipping a little ranch Mara.

[Listener 2]

Garlic.

[Expert/Advisor]

What are you doing Better. Little red pepper on top. So the. So just so I understand the question

[Host]

correctly, what's the proper way to cut a frozen pizza?

[Listener 2]

I mean, in my mind, I don't cut frozen pizzas.

[Expert/Advisor]

I just cut baked pizzas.

[Listener 1]

Oh, that's good.

[Expert/Advisor]

I'm.

[Listener 1]

He's. He's on it.

[Expert/Advisor]

Got him. I was waiting to get that one.

[Listener 2]

Hell yeah.

[Expert/Advisor]

I've never cut a frozen pizza before.

[Host]

Might not be a bad idea to cut some if you just want a couple slices.

[Expert/Advisor]

That's true. Throw back in the freezer. Single, you know, living, just living by yourself.

[Listener 1]

Half a pizza on a pizzazz.

[Host]

Take the frozen pizza to a table saw what you want.

[Expert/Advisor]

Yeah.

[Listener 2]

Actually, is that not a bad idea?

[Expert/Advisor]

Yeah. Throw a. Back in the freezer, Lamar.

[Listener 2]

Cutting it. It catches on the table saw. Shoots back into your stomach.

[Listener 1]

That's where it was headed anyway.

[Listener 2]

Aim the, the thing and it just shoots it right into the oven.

[Listener 1]

That would be sweet.

[Expert/Advisor]

That.

[Listener 2]

How many different ways can you cut a pizza? I know it's unlimited, but like tradition. There's this spiral, the fucking triangle pieces and square. Right.

[Listener 1]

That's it. Those are the only two acceptable options, I suppose you.

[Expert/Advisor]

Yeah. So you could go in like a circle, but why.

[Host]

That'd be kind of cool.

[Expert/Advisor]

Yeah. I mean, you could do. Yeah. Well, if you cut it into strips like, like dippers.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Expert/Advisor]

That's still kind of like. It's the same thing as cutting it as squares, just thinner.

[Listener 1]

If you did the spiral thing, you could like put it in your mouth like one of those party decoration hangers.

[Expert/Advisor]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Listener 1]

A little. A little bouncy.

[Expert/Advisor]

Yeah, yeah. If you and your buddies say you're like an Airbnb or something, throw pizza. You should. You could shape it into a balls.

[Host]

Great for bachelorette parties.

[Expert/Advisor]

Yeah, great for. Yep.

[Listener 2]

Or Ryan hanging out with his buddy.

[Expert/Advisor]

Yeah.

[Host]

Giant deck. Ryan's Marketplace minute back with another question about negotiations. Trying to buy a fifth wheel camper. Guy has it listed for 10,000, down from 13,500. And the first thing in the description is need gone. Got an hour drive to go look at it. What do we think about $8,000 cash?

[Expert/Advisor]

13 cut to 10.8cash hour drive it Gone. Gone. Okay. Let's just say, okay, today is Tuesday and let's say you. You're. We're going to go Friday. See this camper. I want you to. And I don't want you to go 8. I want you to go 7, 500. Say, hey, 7, 500 cash. Not check cash. Sounds like we're already there. I'll come. I'll come look at it and pick it up on Friday. Because I. When people know that, like going into the weekend for that person with $7,500 is. It's a great move. I did that with the lawnmower. I said, hey, I'll give you X amount cash and I'll come pick it up on Friday.

[Listener 1]

Do you not say like per inspection, like you. What if you show up and it's way shittier than the pictures?

[Expert/Advisor]

Oh, then you can back out of the deal.

[Listener 1]

Okay.

[Listener 2]

You can pull them the right off.

[Expert/Advisor]

Yeah. Like based off the pictures, flash your J rant.

[Listener 2]

Adam Finger J. Finger J. I'm out of here. You know what, buddy? I'm out of here. As you back away.

[Listener 1]

That would be intimidating.

[Host]

Finger guns.

[Expert/Advisor]

Yeah.

[Listener 1]

I be like, this guy's got a screw loose. He's coming back.

[Listener 2]

Now, obviously we're not go. We're not talking single finger gun. We're talking double. This is way more threatening than this.

[Listener 1]

That's true.

[Expert/Advisor]

And I like, obviously, before you get to the point of saying all this, you should ask like, hey, is there any, any issues with it? Anything I should know about on top of, like, the pictures and in the description that they've already put? And then it. No, if it's. If it's good, the guy just needs a cash. Boom. 7,500. I'll come get it. I'll come get it on.

[Listener 2]

I thought you were maybe telling me 8,500. You said 7,500.

[Expert/Advisor]

7,500. It's just a good. It's. It's a. It's just kind of a good number.

[Host]

Clean number.

[Expert/Advisor]

It's a clean number. 0, 2500. 5 grand. 7500. 10 grand.

[Listener 2]

I think you should offer them 70. I think you should offer them 74, 99 and 98 cents.

[Listener 1]

No pennies, they'll round.

[Expert/Advisor]

That's fine. Yeah. Also going 7, 500, it. It allows them to, to send you back, you know, 8, 500, which I think you'd probably be cool with. 8, 500.

[Listener 1]

Well, then he can come back with his 8,000 he already planned on.

[Expert/Advisor]

Exactly. Yep.

[Listener 2]

Great advice.

[Expert/Advisor]

So, but if he goes like, I'll do. I'll do 9500 on it. Then if the listings been sitting for a couple months, don't respond to him for like a day. Just let him sweat it out a little bit. He'll think about it and be like, oh, fuck, I shouldn't have done nine. I should just, you know, and then

[Listener 2]

I'd be stressing, got to get gone.

[Expert/Advisor]

Exactly. He needs it gone. Let him sweat it out for a day. It works. Yeah.

[Host]

So the best deal to do a deal is like on Friday afternoons. Friday nights.

[Listener 2]

That's when you're picking it up.

[Expert/Advisor]

Yeah, that's when you'd be picking it up. Because then he's having a great weekend. He just got rid of so much mental space and he just added cash to his pocket.

[Listener 2]

Like, you get 7,500 bucks on a Tuesday. You're like, I should probably put this towards my life insurance.

[Expert/Advisor]

Yeah, yeah, Max my four.

[Listener 2]

You get it on Friday. You're like, I'm gonna buy a four wheeler this weekend.

[Expert/Advisor]

Exactly, exactly.

[Listener 1]

I'm gonna get a bigger camper and use this as my down payment.

[Expert/Advisor]

That'd be my advice.

[Host]

That's great advice.

[Expert/Advisor]

Congrats on the fifth wheel, though. That's sweet.

[Listener 1]

Oh, he's got to get it yet.

[Expert/Advisor]

That's true. Yeah.

[Host]

Job's not finished.

[Expert/Advisor]

Job isn't finished. But hey there. There's a.