Podcast Summary: "Ryan Plans Myles' Funeral"

You Betcha Radio — October 27, 2025
Hosts: Myles ("You Betcha Guy"), Ryan, Jared, Tyler (brief mentions), Jerrod

Episode Overview

This episode is a quintessentially "Midwest" comedic journey as the crew dives into the hilarious hypothetical of what would happen if Myles died — with Ryan tasked to plan the funeral. The conversation spirals into classic You Betcha humor, packed with irreverent ideas, Midwest tropes, entrepreneurial spirit, and plenty of inside jokes about the crew's legacy, their fans, and their love for carbs and community. The tone remains light and sarcastic, poking fun at funeral traditions and their own content-driven business model.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Setting the Scene: Who Plans What?

• Jared assumes a managerial role, focusing on scheduling and orchestrating the event:
  • "I'd like to set a specific time for the funeral for everyone to show up." (00:14)
  • Suggests intentionally misleading funeral times to account for Midwest lateness—have it at 10, but tell people to come at 11:30.
• Myles (the "dead" guy) protests but quickly gets swept up in the banter, especially about who should be allowed to speak at his funeral.

2. Funeral Merch & Revenue Generation

• Jared: "I'm going to be printing up RIP Myles shirts on the screen printer immediately." (01:13)
• Merch and event become central, treating the funeral as a high school party where "every town within 50 miles shows up… just so we can sell more merch." (01:26)
• Venue Ideas: Fargo Dome — intentionally the wrong-sized venue for the projected turnout; open concessions and merch everywhere (01:56).
• Livestreaming & Monetization:
  • The funeral to be live-streamed on Patreon, but the real draw is fundraising and legacy.
  • "This is basically a fundraiser, right?" (02:28)
  • Jokes about employees needing a 5-year financial buffer post-Myles for "not having to worry about getting a job." (03:06)

3. Myles' Dying Wish: Make it a Money Grab

• Myles: "One of my dying wishes is that we sell a fuckload of RIP Myles shirts… That shirt is my legacy." (04:24)
• Says it would be "insensitive if you don’t buy a shirt."
• Plans for funeral to be around Black Friday for optimal sales:
  • "I'll try and die around Black Friday." (04:35)
• Debates about freebies and promotions:
  • "If you buy five or more, you get something free." (05:06)
  • "I'm dead. But this is my dying wish." (05:07)

4. Building the 'You Betcha' Universe Posthumous Events

• Myles: Wants "Miles Con" and other themed conventions (05:15–06:39):
  • "Basically we have about once a month, we have some sort of convention around things that You Betcha world."
  • Examples:
    • "Domino Dan Con," where everyone comes in a fat suit, Domino's caters, and there are hot dog eating contests (06:05)
    • Autograph signings, live podcasts, and (jokingly) a Myles AI hologram ("like they did with Michael Jackson").

5. Post-Funeral Meal and Midwest Carbs Extravaganza

• Food Planned:
  • Domino’s pizza (the title sponsor, no less), Red Lobster cheddar biscuits, Olive Garden breadsticks, Texas toast, Texas Roadhouse honey butter rolls—a "garlic bread buffet" (06:55–07:22)
  • Jared: "No one's going home hungry." (07:29)
  • Breakfast sandwiches (07:22)

6. Memorial Tributes & Hilarious Mishaps

• Bible Reading:
  • Outlaws Tyler from speaking ("Don’t let Tyler anywhere near a microphone on my funeral." – 01:02)
  • Flops (a less-than-literate friend) may deliver the eulogy, possibly parroting lines fed via earpiece:
    • "He’ll just parrot anything you say. Like, we just say pinks. And he’d be like, pinks." (08:33)
  • Allusions to "Impractical Jokers"-style hijinks in feeding Flops lines (08:21)

7. Patreon Monetization and Legacy

• Ryan/Jared:
  • Deliberations about whether to stream or pre-record funeral for Patreon, with exorbitant prices ("400 bucks a slot") and teasers for free listeners (08:39–08:49)
  • All about maximizing revenue, "because we got to be able to chill for at least five years before finding new employment." (08:49)

8. Domino’s Sponsorship Dreams

• Multiple jokes about the lack of a Domino’s Pizza sponsor, segueing into a mock phone call order — "That's Domino's, how can I help you… I need you guys to sponsor [the podcast]…" (09:31)
• Myles: Imagines them thinking, "He’s back. Yeah, he’s risen from the dead. We thought he died because of diabetes… He's alive." (10:13)

Timestamps & Notable Quotes

• 00:14 — Jared lays out meticulous (and purposely flawed) funeral schedule.
• 01:13 — "I'm going to be printing up RIP Myles shirts on the screen printer immediately." (Jared)
• 02:28 — "Be live on Patreon... This is basically a fundraiser, right?" (Myles)
• 03:06 — "We'll get that signed before we get the death certificate." (Ryan, on profit-sharing document)
• 04:24 — "That shirt is my legacy." (Myles, about RIP Myles merch)
• 04:35 — "I'll try and die around Black Friday." (Myles)
• 07:29 — "Nobody's going home hungry." (Ryan)
• 08:33 — "He'll just parrot anything you say." (Jared, on Flops reading at the ceremony)
• 09:00 — "That is work. Like, when I die. It's got to be a money grab." (Myles)
• 09:31 — "That's Domino's, how can I help you? ...I need you guys to sponsor [the podcast]..." (Myles, mocking a sponsorship call)
• 10:13 — "He's back. Yeah, he's risen from the dead. We thought he died because of diabetes or a cardiovascular event. He's alive." (Myles)

Memorable Moments

• The elaborate jokes about turning a funeral into a community event/merch bonanza.
• Imagining absurd conventions like "Domino Dan Con" with fat suits and competitive eating.
• Efforts to repeatedly justify every move as a "money grab"—often with tongue-in-cheek reminders about Midwest family values and needing to "feed mouths."
• Myles volunteering to schedule his death near Black Friday for peak merchandise sales.
• The classic Midwest food lineup stains the episode with a heavy dose of nostalgia and comedic excess.

Tone

The dialogue is irreverent, self-deprecating, and fast-paced, with the hosts constantly riffing off of each other. They blend Midwest small-town sensibilities with content-creator hustle, making light of the funeral theme but ultimately reflecting how they'd want to be remembered: with laughter, carbs, merch, and community.

For full extended bits, You Betcha banter, and behind-the-scenes, check out You Betcha Radio on Patreon—just maybe bring your own garlic bread.