Signs That You're in a Small Town 🎙 #366

Summary

Podcast Summary: You Betcha Radio – Signs That You're in a Small Town (#366)

Episode Date: February 25, 2026
Hosts: Myles “You Betcha Guy,” Ryan, Tyler, Jared
Main Theme: A comedic deep-dive into classic “small town” Midwest culture, nostalgia, and the quirky signs and experiences that signal you’re not in the big city.

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Episode Overview

This episode centers around identifying the “signs” that indicate you’re in a small town, particularly in the Midwest. The crew brings plenty of firsthand stories and witty banter to the subject—riffing on literal town signs, local traditions, rural quirks, and the nostalgia of growing up where everyone knows everyone. Other topics (often circuitously) include Monster Jam pageantry, the universal joy of bouncy castles, dad self-dapping, and a raucous Midwest-flavored trivia “Battle Royale.”

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Segments

1. Literal Signs You’re in a Small Town (01:18–05:54)

• Welcome signs with local claims to fame:
  • “Welcome to Barnesville, home of Potato Days.” (Ryan, 01:25)
  • “Welcome to Frazee, home of the world’s largest turkey.” (Myles, 01:36)
  • “Welcome to Wahpeton. Home of the world’s largest catfish.” (Tyler, 01:52)
• Everyday local markers:
  • Road sign: “Corn, five bucks” (Ryan, 02:00)
  • “World’s best coffee here” arrows
• Physical absence or presence:
  • VFWs (Veterans of Foreign Wars halls)
  • Demolition derby advertised on the town sign (Myles, 03:55)
  • “State softball champions, 1962.” Old championship signage (Tyler, 04:07)
• Closed businesses:
  • “On Main Street...the big, prominent business, the sign is CLOSED.” (Myles, 02:14)
  • No fast food chains; gas station is the “fast food” (Tyler, 02:27)
• Community-specific quirks:
  • Grad seniors have banners on the light poles (Myles, 05:02)
  • Funeral homes always family-owned (Ryan, 05:24)
• Quote:
  • “Closed. That’s how you know you’re in a small town.” (Myles, 02:21)
  • “You going to trust Walmart with your casket or a guy that’s in the community?” (Ryan, 05:57)

2. Small Town Rituals and Social Fabric (04:51–10:20)

• Holiday and sports routine:
  • Out-of-date street light banners (“Merry Christmas” in mid-January)
  • Championship signs stuck at distant dates (“State girls basketball championship, 2019”)
• Local business culture:
  • “The local bar with a ‘Welcome Hunters’ old Busch Light sign” (Jared, 03:32)
• Family traditions, gradual change:
  • Discussion on how girls’ high school sports were not always prevalent (Ryan, 04:28)
• Small town benefits and events:
  • Frequent pancake/lutefisk feeds, church bazaars, community benefits

3. Monster Jam & Small Town Entertainment (07:43–12:59)

• Monster Jam nostalgia meets parenting:
  • “Grave Digger...if your pallbearers would be pissed, you got to get you up.” (Miles, 08:17)
  • Monster truck rallies as quintessential small-town spectacle.
• Ticket price inflation:
  • “Kids’ tickets still only five bucks? … $35 for the cheap seats.” (Ryan & Miles, 08:36–08:41)
• Demolition Derbies as event markers: (Myles, 03:55)

4. The Universal Community of Bouncy Castles (14:09–20:36)

• Ryan’s “melting pot” observation:
  • “It’s just...there’s no party lines, there’s no class...everyone likes to take their shoes off and bounce around in a bouncy castle in their socks in the Valley.” (Ryan, 17:14)
• Funny chaos of kids losing socks and bouncy house etiquette.
• Bouncy castles as equalizing force—class, race, or politics fade away in the inflatables.

5. Nostalgia and Small Town Pranks (20:54–35:04)

• School rituals:
  • Chalked windows, construction paper signs for athletes, and “game day” decor.
  • “My son plays football here” signs, Cummins diesel stickers.
• Family humor:
  • Playing with kids and self-dapping (giving yourself props for jokes or dad victories)
• Quote:
  • “Half of being a husband or a dad is just self-dapping yourself up.” (Ryan, 32:52)
• Generational humor:
  • The waxing and waning of “dad jokes” through kids’ ages.

6. Wild Midwest “Which State?” Trivia Battle Royale (43:44–62:29)

• Format:
  • Fast-paced, chaotic, everyone yells guesses in true podcast spirit.
• Notable trivia topics and answers:
  • Worst drivers: North Dakota (44:35)
  • Most tornadoes: Texas (46:29)
  • Most lakes: Alaska (50:08)
  • Most McDonald’s: California (51:30)
  • Highest tattoo parlor density: Hawaii (52:23)
  • Highest obesity: West Virginia (48:07)
  • Most sex per week: Alaska (59:16)
  • Least sex: Colorado (62:06)
• Key moments:
  • “This is just going to be a victory lap for me.” (Ryan, 60:38)
  • “The problem with Battle Royale...you guys just scream.” (Miles, 62:12)
• Quotes on trivia chaos:
  • “Do you guys realize how bad we are at trivia? … There’s a limited amount of answers and we get unlimited tries and nobody gets a point!” (Ryan, 55:14)

7. Fun Fact & Medical Oddities (63:25–66:41)

• Bizarre medical trivia:
  • “An erection following a severe fall is known as priapism—it can indicate a spinal cord injury, so don’t move them.” (Jared, 63:29)
  • Explosive banter about how to evacuate with this injury and EMT scenario jokes.
• Quote:
  • “Talk about the ultimate blue balls…You get a spinal cord injury, you pop a boner, and you can’t even do anything cause you’re not supposed to move.” (Ryan, 64:01)

8. Alexa, AI, and Modern Small Talk (67:04–70:41)

• Alexa’s changing voice and chatting with AI:
  • Tyler: “Alexa, put cayenne pepper on the shopping list...”
  • Discussion about how Alexa and ChatGPT handle conversations, conspiracy questions, and voice changes.
• Skepticism and conspiracy:
  • Reflections on AI, privacy, and robots potentially “taking over.”

9. Vacation Stories, Bizarre Karaoke, and Midwest Bonds (71:32–73:37)

• DIY VFW karaoke night:
  • Myles: “We hijacked a VFW and threw our own karaoke night...we convinced all the locals to come over into our side of the bar.” (Miles, 72:48)
• Karaoke reluctance:
  • Tyler: “I’ve never done karaoke...I just want to be good at it.” (Tyler, 72:57)
• Quote:
  • “The stage is your canvas.” (Jared, 73:31)

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Notable Quotes

• On Small Town Vibes:
  “Welcome to Barnesville, home of Potato Days.” (Ryan, 01:25)
  “Closed. That’s how you know you’re in a small town.” (Miles, 02:21)
• On Community:
  “It doesn’t matter who you are...everybody likes to take their shoes off and bounce around in a bouncy castle.” (Ryan, 17:14)
• On Dad Humor:
  “Half of being a husband or a dad is just self-dapping yourself up.” (Ryan, 32:52)
• On Death and DIY:
  “Why can't we just get buried in a sleeping bag? It’s the same essential thing.” (Miles, 07:06)
• On Midwest Trivia:
  “This is just going to be a victory lap for me.” (Ryan, 60:38)
• On Trivia Chaos:
  “The problem with Battle Royale...you guys just scream.” (Miles, 62:12)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Start | |------------------------------------------------------------------|----------| | Literal and figurative “signs” of small towns | 01:18 | | Small town rituals, grad signs, funeral homes, nostalgia | 04:51 | | Monster Jam, demolition derbies, & small town events | 07:43 | | The bouncy castle “melting pot,” classless fun | 14:09 | | Dad humor, self-dapping, and generational shifts | 32:52 | | Midwest “Which State?” Battle Royale trivia | 43:44 | | Medical trivia/priapism & audible banter | 63:25 | | AI, Alexa, and modern Midwest skepticism | 67:04 | | Vacation karaoke, VFW stories, and Midwest bonding | 71:32 |

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Episode Tone & Vibe

Relaxed, fast-paced, and full of unfiltered Midwest humor, inside jokes, light self-deprecation, and the unique camaraderie of lifelong friends. The crew’s chemistry shines—making even the silliest tangents (monster hearse funerals, Alexa conspiracy, bouncy castle etiquette) feel right at home.

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For listeners:
This episode gives you the full small town (and Midwest) experience—sharp observations, riotous memories, and plenty of laughs—whether you grew up brushing snow off “closed” Main Street shops or you just love a hearty helping of Midwest charm.

Transcript

[Ryan]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the you Bet yout Radio podcast. We're in the studio. We're brunted up. We're feeling good. Jared's got some segments for us today, so let's get into the show. All right, we're in the show now, guys.

[Miles]

All right, we're here. Come on down.

[Tyler]

Sit down.

[Ryan]

Down. Sit on down.

[Tyler]

Sit on it. That's a Steve Harvey classic.

[Miles]

Yeah, it is. Jared wouldn't know.

[Jared]

I wouldn't know.

[Ryan]

No, we were just discussing Jared's complete battery of our Family Feud segment. We did however many podcasts ago those years ago. Now, that was bad. All you had to do, Jerry, was just say, you got to be careful. You got two strikes. You got to be careful.

[Jared]

Yeah, I was just. There's bullets were flying that day, and

[Ryan]

we were asking a lot of you. We're asking you to keep score and say, you got to be careful and read.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's not his fault he can't read.

[Jared]

And the reading is the hardest part.

[Miles]

So that was. That was.

[Ryan]

You're still leering.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Well, Jared, you have some segments for us today. And so what are we kicking this bad boy off with?

[Jared]

Signs that you're in a small town.

[Ryan]

Okay. Signs, you're in a small town. I'll go first.

[Tyler]

Okay, go first.

[Miles]

Here we go.

[Ryan]

All right, you ready?

[Miles]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Welcome to Barnesville.

[Miles]

That's good.

[Ryan]

Home of potato days.

[Miles]

Nice.

[Ryan]

That's a sign.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Ryan]

That you're in a small town. That's a good.

[Miles]

I like it. Welcome to Frazee, home of the world's largest turkey.

[Ryan]

Yes. I do love that sign.

[Tyler]

I got one. Welcome to Wahpeton.

[Miles]

That's it.

[Ryan]

That's it. It's a small town.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's it.

[Jared]

Yes. Underneath.

[Tyler]

Home of the world's largest catfish.

[Miles]

It says, welcome to Wahpeton.

[Tyler]

That. Yeah, me and my buddies probably spray painted that on there back in the day.

[Ryan]

Another sign. You're in a small town. Road sign. Corn, five bucks.

[Miles]

Hell, yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Hell, yeah.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Can I ask a question?

[Ryan]

World's best coffee here with an arrow pointing.

[Miles]

Signs. You're a small town on Main Street. Big, prominent business. The sign is closed.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

That's how you know you're in a small town.

[Ryan]

Signs. You're in a small town. Vfw.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Tyler]

Vfw. Yeah. Signs. You're in a small town. No fast food. The local gas station is the fast food.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Ryan]

That. It's not really a sign. You don't drive into. You don't drive into WAP. 10 and see a sign that says no fast food.

[Tyler]

I think you're misreading the segment. This is just like. It's a song. It's not enough Physical. I know what you're doing, but it's not a physical sign. It's just a. It's a feeling that you're in.

[Jared]

A small sign.

[Miles]

Short for signal. You're doing signals.

[Tyler]

Is this. This is the second week that I'm not understanding the segment correctly. And it's because I'm. I'm. I have no access on the back end to look at these ahead of time.

[Jared]

Got it? Yeah.

[Ryan]

You mean what you're seeing is what we can all see. There's no back end. So you try again. Try again. So what are some. What are some signs? You're in a small town.

[Tyler]

Signs. You're in a small town. Deer crossing sign.

[Miles]

Nice. Hell yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, you can just say deer crossing. So.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Anyways, Jared, what about you?

[Jared]

It would be like a bar that says like welcome hunters. It's got like the old bush light.

[Ryan]

A welcome hunter sign.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's got to be like an old beer bush light logo, like presenting the sign.

[Ryan]

Me and my brother and my cousin used to try and steal those from like the hotel we'd stay at. Would have it outside. Take a scissors out there at night time. Real badass.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we did that one time signs.

[Miles]

You're in a small town. Demolition Derby, June 5th and 6th.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Oh, I got one.

[Ryan]

And that's earlier in the year too.

[Miles]

That's. That's the kickoff. The demo season in that one.

[Tyler]

I got one. Signs. You're in a small town. State softball champions, 1962.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yep.

[Ryan]

State girls basketball championship, 2019.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And there's no earlier than that because girls basketball didn't really exist before 2019

[Miles]

for ones.

[Ryan]

But like, I remember. I remember like talking to my mother in law like, did you play sports in high school? She's like, sports for girls wasn't really a thing back then. I was like, I guess I never thought about that. That's crazy.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Segregation sports were invented for women. Well, my mother in law was alive. That's how old she is.

[Miles]

That's crazy.

[Jared]

Like, they remember when volleyball got invented. It seems like. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Jared]

I think another one is like. Like the street light banners are always like two weeks too old for the holidays.

[Miles]

Y.

[Jared]

So say like merry Christmas on the street light banners.

[Ryan]

It'll be middle of J. Yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

Signs. You're in a small town. When every senior that's graduating Has a sign on a light pole that they

[Ryan]

do that in Horus here.

[Miles]

Yep, yep.

[Tyler]

They got a lot of senior actually.

[Ryan]

I feel like a lot of street poles.

[Miles]

Can't. Can't do. Can't do that. In a big town, there's 500 kids graduating.

[Tyler]

No.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's a lot of signs to buy

[Ryan]

signs. You're in a small town, there's always a funeral home owned by some family. Why are funeral homes a family business?

[Miles]

Because how else.

[Jared]

How you.

[Miles]

Who's just going into that without. Without it being in the blood.

[Ryan]

I understand, but like you think there'd be like a corporate funeral home, you know, like maybe private equity, like venture capital would invest in this funeral thing and they just pop up everywhere. I think it's rifle them through like dead bodies.

[Tyler]

I think it's probably just to relate to the people coming through.

[Ryan]

Probably true. You going to trust Walmart with your casket or you're going to trust a guy that's in the community?

[Jared]

They probably think it's a dying business for the family.

[Tyler]

By the family.

[Ryan]

That'd be crazy though if you could just have like if Walmart started doing funerals.

[Miles]

Dude, there's got to be a casket wholesaler. How the family.

[Ryan]

You go pick out your casket and you got to do self checkout for

[Tyler]

it and then it's like a piece of IKEA furniture that you got to put together yourself. It's like, well, you know, I don't really care if this fucking bolts missing because I'm the one who's going to be laying in here.

[Miles]

Honestly, it doesn't matter to me.

[Ryan]

Yeah, they. They go to Ikea and buy a casket and it comes in a thousand pieces and all they give you is this tiny little wrench and you're just going like this and you literally are.

[Miles]

It's a race against the clock to get that thing finished.

[Ryan]

I have. I might die before I finish this casket.

[Tyler]

Oh, that one's stripped. Well, it doesn't really matter.

[Miles]

Any casket, even if it kills me. Yeah.

[Tyler]

To hell with the hinges.

[Miles]

Yeah, it is a great band.

[Tyler]

To hell with the hinges.

[Ryan]

Yeah. At this point just make me a lid and nail it down.

[Tyler]

That's correct.

[Ryan]

Put the nail in the coffin.

[Miles]

Nice.

[Jared]

There we go.

[Miles]

What? Why can't we just get buried in a sleeping bag? Like it's the same essential thing.

[Ryan]

We had a guy on the podcast who ran a funeral home on Bellied Up. Do you remember that, Jerry?

[Jared]

Yeah, that was a while ago.

[Ryan]

We kind of. I think we asked him that question. It's like for multiple reasons. Putting in a casket preserves the body for longer in case it has to get dug up or something.

[Jared]

Oh yeah.

[Miles]

Like, unless you were murdered. Like, what's the point of digging someone up?

[Ryan]

I don't know.

[Tyler]

People do some fucked up shit. There's a guy in my old neighbor in West Fargo. He was caught digging a grave up.

[Ryan]

Grave Digger. Grave Digger. Kids think it's only five bucks.

[Miles]

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

[Ryan]

Monster Jam.

[Miles]

That was good, dude.

[Tyler]

Now I'm in it.

[Ryan]

That's a great monster truck name. Yeah. Grave Digger.

[Miles]

Yeah, they should do that. And then instead of a truck, it should be a hearse.

[Ryan]

A monster hearse.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

That's how I want to get taken to the cemeteries and a monster back.

[Miles]

A Grave Digger.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

If your pallbearers would be pissed. They got to get you up.

[Jared]

That eye got over it. Press the caske.

[Ryan]

We could sell tickets to the procession. And kids tickets. Could be only five bucks. You went to Monster Jam recently? I did our kids tickets. Still only five bucks.

[Miles]

No.

[Ryan]

What?

[Miles]

They are expensive.

[Ryan]

What are they?

[Miles]

35 bucks. For cheap.

[Ryan]

For a kid.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Jesus.

[Miles]

For the nosebleeds. 35 bucks. I spray. I. I sprung a little bit. I went 45 or a little better. Tickets.

[Jared]

Oh, damn.

[Miles]

That was still pretty high up.

[Tyler]

Garage sale money.

[Ryan]

Yeah. But then.

[Miles]

Hey. But you know the one thing about

[Ryan]

the fume high up there. Yeah.

[Miles]

One thing about the Fargo Dome is there isn't a bad seat in the whole joint.

[Ryan]

I hated that.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I hated it bad. So. Yeah.

[Jared]

Has Monster Jam changed at all?

[Miles]

Not one single bit. The results change, but the shit's the same.

[Jared]

Kind of like that.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Ryan]

I think I got a product like, you don't want to be. You don't want to be messing with the Krabby Fat Krabby Fab, I think. Did I tell you, Patty? Formula.

[Miles]

I tell you guys this talk about it at all in the pod?

[Jared]

I don't think so.

[Miles]

If one of the motorcycle dudes crashed like they do a halftime and they just do the big. The big jumps. He ate and like medics came and got him.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Miles]

He eventually like stood up and waved at the crowd, but he was not all right.

[Jared]

Thank God that wasn't me.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I mean, they're no nitro circus.

[Miles]

One of the friggin Megalodon, the shark monster truck, cracked its shell and then raced naked the rest of the day.

[Ryan]

Kind of hot. Yeah, kind of hot. Did you go like this to your kids eyes? Don't look.

[Miles]

Megalodon's naked. And it was.

[Tyler]

I mean, the gallon side of it.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I'm married and he's watching it like this.

[Miles]

I can't. I can't see this.

[Tyler]

I'm actually a great, great show on dirt for adults.

[Ryan]

So timeout there. One of the women drivers lost her top and drove naked.

[Miles]

That was literally the only female driver because Megalodon.

[Ryan]

Yeah, she's a.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Hell yeah.

[Ryan]

Really hot then.

[Tyler]

Has it always been the same driver, though?

[Miles]

There's like 12 grave diggers.

[Ryan]

Oh.

[Miles]

So then they all have a different Grave Digger 2018 edition. And then there's Son of a Digger, which is just Grave Digger but more purple. And like, I'm super plugged in on the monster trucks because all three of my children are obsessed with.

[Ryan]

So which grave digger did you get to see?

[Miles]

Just plain old gravedigger Plano. Yeah, they don't really announce the differences unless it's at the world championships and there's five different grave diggers going.

[Ryan]

Got it.

[Miles]

So they don't really make the. Tell you the difference unless they need to. There's multiple grave diggers playing or racing like that.

[Tyler]

I think I'd rather bring my kid to a rodeo.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Here's the thing. You're adult. You got free will. You can go to both.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Tyler]

Go to both. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Sick. Is that. Unless they're on the same weekend, then,

[Miles]

yeah, that would suck. But you can make a day of it. There's an early. There's an early Monster Jam on Saturday. So you hit that in the morning, rodeo in the evening.

[Jared]

A bad name monster truck.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

All right, guys, Price picks time. Price picks will give you 50 in lineups. When you play your first five dollar lineup, win or lose, you'll get 50 bucks in lineups. Jared, what's the promo code?

[Jared]

YBR.

[Tyler]

I think it's YBR. As Miles said last week, it's not W, H, Y, B, E, E, A, R, E. It's just the letter Y, the letter B followed by the letter R. No space.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Three keyboard strikes, no space. All caps, guys. Promo code YBR.50. To get five. To get 50, it's guaranteed. You got to get on the prize picks train. We. We never. We, we just. We glazed over the NASCAR win from two weeks ago. I. I saw someone comment about my. Was it Carson? If that's how you pronounce it? I don't know either. Someone's like, well, you can tell Ryan doesn't know NASCAR because This is his third season racing. It's like, I do know NASCAR because my pick, Josev are less than like what, 23 and a half NASCAR points. He was in first place, like within. With within. Like the last lap, last turn, I think. Last turn.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Crashed.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And then we hit. So that was sick. And we're looking to do that again this week. We got a little mixture of everything. Miles is darts guy from last week. Luke. Luke Little, I think or something. Yeah, reboot. So we're just going to reboot that back and we're going to go darts again. Miles wants to go with Johnny Clayton. Not Johnny Sins. Johnny Clayton. More than three 180s thrown.

[Jared]

I think you can do it.

[Tyler]

I think. I think Mr. Johnny. I think Mr. Johnny's got it.

[Jared]

Yeah. He doesn't have darts elbow, like littler.

[Ryan]

So.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking tennis elbow or whatever you call it. So Miles got him. I have Cameron Boozer.

[Ryan]

Big.

[Tyler]

I'm a big Duke guy. I'm also a big Carlos Boozer guy. Carlos Boozer for the Nuggets and the Jazz. Yeah, I'm a. I'm a Carlos Boozer Nuggets guy.

[Jared]

Gotcha.

[Tyler]

So I got Cam Boozer more than 19 and a half points. Jared, what do you got?

[Jared]

I got Trey Carroll for Xavier College basketball. More than 21 and a half points. He gets the ball a lot.

[Tyler]

Okay, Gets the ball a lot. Probably shoot a lot.

[Jared]

Exactly.

[Tyler]

He could be an I guy.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

You know, and Tyler threw in an MMA wild card pick. Damian P Nas.

[Jared]

We think that's.

[Tyler]

That's last name spelled P I N A S correct. P Nas.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

And he's got Damian Pinas at more than one and a half rounds, which is a red Devi. And we did need a red Devil in here to get those X's up a little bit. So, guys, that's our lineup for the week. Ride with us, die with us, we do it all together. Promo code ybr.

[Ryan]

This last weekend, I actually found a place where class does not exist.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Not like fanciness, like, you know, upper class, lower class. Like doesn't. It sees no class. And I found it. It's a. It's the like the. What would you call it, like bouncy castle. There's. There's an event center where they just put a bunch of bouncy castles in it.

[Miles]

Hell yeah.

[Ryan]

And kids can pay and they go. And they can go down the slides and do all the different blow up games. Right.

[Tyler]

Bounce in the Valley or whatever it's called.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

MMA fights are at.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I got an ocular pat down of the where the future octagon's gonna go.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

All right.

[Ryan]

I'm. It's ringside. You know, in that place, there's not a bad seat in the house.

[Tyler]

No.

[Miles]

God, no.

[Ryan]

I found out. But a ringside definitely is a huge upgrade from the stands. I can tell.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

It. Yeah, they're gonna fill up fast.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Plus, yeah. Make sure you got a seat for my dad though.

[Miles]

It'll be his birthday that Their ringside tables are gone.

[Ryan]

Oh, are they?

[Miles]

Yeah, we missed it.

[Ryan]

Speed to lead, Tyler.

[Miles]

Hey, I tried to get the guys on board. Nobody gave me.

[Tyler]

For sure.

[Miles]

Yes. Except Ryan and Jared and I wasn't. I wasn't dropping 800 bucks.

[Tyler]

Oh, dude, we would have found.

[Ryan]

We could have filled that out, no problem.

[Miles]

You were the most wishy washy one of the bunch.

[Ryan]

I know, but you still gotta fill that out.

[Miles]

We could still get floor tables, but we. Ringsides are gone.

[Ryan]

We want ringside and the floor tables. If I'm just gonna do a regular floor table, you might as well put me in the nosebleeds because at that point it is worse. At that point, there's no bad seat in the house.

[Miles]

A third row table is worse than being in the bleachers.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Be like. You might as well be like Ryan at that one wedding where he's just sitting in the stairwell eating off his lap.

[Tyler]

Just. I'll take a sip and kind of bob my head a little bit looking around, see if anything sick wedding. If anyone makes eye contact with me, I'm gonna approach them.

[Miles]

One eye contact reminds like brighter groom. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Anyways, we go to what is it called?

[Tyler]

Bounce in the Valley, I think.

[Ryan]

Bouncing in the Valley.

[Jared]

I don't like the name.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's a kid's deal.

[Miles]

They could do better though.

[Ryan]

And they're raking in cash. I started, you know, my brain works. I walk in, I actually said to my brother in law, I'm like, they're raking in the cash. Because then I was like, also, if you bought all these. These blow up things off of like Alibaba and you just one time costs. You did this every single year. You're just all processing.

[Miles]

One explodes.

[Ryan]

What? Even if it exploded, no one gets. Unless someone put like the tarp. Unless someone put a bomb in there, then yeah, that would be bad.

[Miles]

Yeah, but that's not your fault.

[Ryan]

But there's. There's event staff walking around. They would. They'd have eyes on it so fast.

[Tyler]

There's quality control. Just let me go Bouncing the Valley A lot of money.

[Ryan]

They just do it right over there at the Val. The. The bouncing Valley. You walk in and it's. It was actually packed, like, right when doors open. AM And I tell you what, every person from every walk of life was

[Miles]

there having a time.

[Ryan]

There's a melting pot of people was bouncing the Valley. And it's just. There's no party lines, there's no class. There's no any sort of discrimination going on with bouncing in a bouncy castle. Doesn't matter who you are, what the color of your skin is, doesn't matter what your religion is, your political affiliation. Every single person likes to take their shoes off and bounce around in a bouncy castle in their socks in the Valley. And that's what I found.

[Miles]

Big question is, did you get some bounces in?

[Ryan]

I did not end up getting in

[Tyler]

for personal reasons or.

[Ryan]

Well, my. My kitty. I'm trying to, you know. Well, first of all, you can't be the one parent hovering in the bouncy castle.

[Miles]

No, it's not to hover. It's to enjoy them. Things are fun.

[Ryan]

Yeah. No, I did bounce in a bouncy castle a few weeks ago, though.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Not at bounce. At the Valley. At a different spot. And it was nice. It was fun.

[Miles]

I'm. I'm a sucker for the obstacle course one. I'm ripping through that thing as fast as I possibly can.

[Jared]

Like 31 years.

[Miles]

Yeah. You got to run through the. The punching bags and then through the little wash. The car wash deal, then up the slide.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's the best.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Huge problem for me, though, is my kid kept trying to take his socks off. Just disgusting.

[Miles]

That's their one rule. I know they'll be on.

[Ryan]

You didn't get kicked out. Which I was surprised. I kind of wanted him to get kicked out to teach him a lesson,

[Miles]

you know, hey, there's consequences for taking your socks off. Yeah.

[Jared]

But kicked out of nicer places.

[Ryan]

But he. So he's the mill. It's like a big one for littler kids. And he's sitting there and he's cranking on it. Just gotta get these socks off. Finally pops him off, and then, you know, he's too far away. I'm not gonna crawl in there and get him. And so then I'm just, like, panicking because I'm like, all of these people are like. They're just letting his kid walk with his disgusting feet there. What a negligent parent. I'm just paranoid. My wife doesn't care. You didn't even notice he took his socks off. And I'm just sitting over there, just freaking out inside.

[Miles]

And I'm sure he didn't carry his socks with him. So they're in the middle of the play thing.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

How are you gonna get those bad boys out of there?

[Ryan]

It was stick. It's quite the adventure. But it's good to know that there's still a place that everyone can go and set all their differences aside and just bounce around in their socks.

[Miles]

Get the world leaders in a bouncy house.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Unless their kid takes their sock off, then. Then they're gonna look at you funny. Yeah.

[Ryan]

But everyone was in such a good mood that no one even confronted me about it, which is nice.

[Tyler]

Our, like, senior graduation party at the school or whatever. We cut project graduation or post graduation. Whatever. We had a. We had a big bouncy, like a bouncy slide, one of the super tall ones. And I went down. I was gonna slide down on my belly and for some reason, like, my face, like, got caught.

[Miles]

Oh, no.

[Tyler]

I got pictures of. I'll show you. And it just, like, it just. It's a. It was a rug burn.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Like, all the way down my nose, in my chin. It was unbelievable. I don't know. I was so much more athletic than that.

[Ryan]

But did you scorpion like, feet hit the back of your head?

[Tyler]

No, I just like. I continued to slide. My face just like, slid. Just like slowed things down a little bit.

[Ryan]

It's like.

[Tyler]

That's right face or something.

[Ryan]

There's an episode of Always Sunny where Frank goes down this. The water. Steep water slide with no water on it.

[Miles]

Nipples off.

[Ryan]

So anyone who's seen that episode, you know what I'm talking about? That was Ryan at post. Post prom.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And then I actually made it. I got. I did get. We had a hypnotist later that night. I got chosen to get up and get hypnotized. And I. I made it. I pretended to be hypnotized the entire time. Guy didn't even know. It was one of those gotcha moments.

[Miles]

Maybe you were just hypnotized.

[Tyler]

I wasn't. I remember everything.

[Jared]

Maybe you had a concussion from the slide.

[Ryan]

I am a dog. Woof, woof.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I'm trying to think of what animal he made. His sack. Oh, God. Yeah. I don't know if anyone's ever done that. Gotten through the whole thing without him noticing.

[Ryan]

What you'd give to just live that night one more time.

[Tyler]

I know. Just to see if I could do it again. Just to See if I could do it again.

[Miles]

We had a hypnotist come, and his line at the beginning of it was, he's like, I'm gonna try and hypnotize you, and it will work on you if you're smart. And then. So that just suckered every. Because if it didn't work on you, you're a idiot. It was a great line by him.

[Tyler]

Interesting.

[Ryan]

Just. Just a little heads up. He definitely knew you weren't hypnotized because you just really can't do it. It's like the hit rate on actually hypnotizing people, I feel like, is so low.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I guess I don't know what the hit rate is.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Maybe when I'm not. Maybe he went home that morning and was like, honey, I got one.

[Miles]

He did everything I told him to.

[Ryan]

He walks in, whips his dick out. Honey, it's go time. Finally got a kid hypnotized.

[Miles]

No, he looks at. He's like, you are getting very horny

[Ryan]

to his wife, not the kids.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yep. That's an important distinction.

[Jared]

Guy is this.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Kind of.

[Ryan]

Kind of shitty doing. Welcome to Wahpeton.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I was loved. Horny hypnotist.

[Tyler]

I wasn't even 18.

[Ryan]

So that.

[Tyler]

There's some charges that we brought up there.

[Ryan]

That's what we're saying.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

You got a case.

[Ryan]

What's another sign in a small. You're in a small town sign. You're in a small town.

[Jared]

Historic downtown's a big one.

[Ryan]

Historic downtown.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Another sign in a small town coming. Cummins sticker on the back windshield.

[Miles]

Yep, yep.

[Ryan]

Cummins. Sure.

[Miles]

One of those shitty corrugated signs in the front yard that says, my son plays football here.

[Ryan]

Y.

[Miles]

And with the number.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Saying, you're in a small town. Game day signs are huge.

[Ryan]

Y door signs that like the. The big construction paper that covers the whole front door with the number on it.

[Miles]

Yep. Do big schools do the thing?

[Ryan]

Caleb. Caleb's going to state number 14. Go Trojans.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

02 points per game on the season.

[Miles]

Was.

[Ryan]

I don't think they put stats on.

[Tyler]

They don't know.

[Miles]

Did. Was your high school big? I know it. Catholic school. But was it big?

[Ryan]

Like, I graduated with 85 kids.

[Miles]

Okay, so it was small.

[Ryan]

Then.

[Miles]

Did they put the. Like, every sport you want, put a sign on your locker of what sport? What number?

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Once in a while it was the cheerleaders who would do that.

[Miles]

Yep. Yep.

[Tyler]

My hometown.

[Ryan]

Like high school cheerleaders. Just arts and crafts.

[Tyler]

Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Let's go.

[Miles]

Let's go. Lats Geo. Yeah.

[Jared]

Cheerings and art.

[Miles]

So.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah, you're correct. It's a pageantry port sport actually.

[Jared]

Exactly.

[Tyler]

My hometown was big into the. Like the window paint on vehicles.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan]

Like getting chalked up.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Vehicle chalk or whatever. On the way to fart the husky. Like it was like. It was like the husky paw print nice on everybody.

[Miles]

It's an easy one to draw. Yeah, it's a good one.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

Ours was a bug, so that's not easy to draw.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Hornet.

[Miles]

Yeah. Not. Not an easy one with the door chalk.

[Tyler]

It's kind of funny that you. You guys like. You guys like insects out where you're.

[Miles]

We do. That's when we would wrestle permit. Was the battle of the bees.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yellow jackies.

[Miles]

Yep. That's it though.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I suppose

[Miles]

we are back to back town. So it is weird, huh?

[Ryan]

Skeeters, you got any other signs? You're in a small town, Ryan.

[Jared]

I would just say a truck driving around that has the Calvin's pissing on a Chevy logo.

[Ryan]

Great sign.

[Miles]

I think I told you guys about this school pickup line van in front of me had the sticker that said hella kids up in this.

[Tyler]

That's nice. I like that.

[Ryan]

Actually, there's sign you're in a small town, there's always. Someone's always running for sheriff.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

There's always a vote for this person

[Miles]

for sheriff or the most obscure local government office that you've ever heard of.

[Jared]

County treasurer.

[Miles]

Yeah. County treasurer.

[Ryan]

County auditor.

[Miles]

Vote Barb.

[Ryan]

So the Cass county auditor, I think is the same name as my dad. And so forever people come up to be like, yeah, my dad's name is Mike. And be like, oh, so he's the Cass county honor. Like, no, that's not it. Different guy.

[Tyler]

No signing a small town, people be

[Ryan]

like, yeah, your dad was on the TV yesterday. I'm like, well, that's not good because if he's on tv, he probably got arrested.

[Jared]

First part of the news.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Another thing, I'm Small town always seems like there's a lute Fisk feed going on at the church.

[Miles]

Some sort of feed. Pancake feed.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan]

Anything or a. What do you call it? Freaking A. Bizarre.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

There's always a bizarre going on.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

What's up?

[Tyler]

What is it? I mean, what the. What's the. What's the definition of the bizarre?

[Miles]

Bizarre is a church thing, right?

[Ryan]

I think so. The church bazaar.

[Tyler]

It's different than a bake sale.

[Miles]

I think it's the same thing usually.

[Ryan]

I think they're usually paired nicely together. Okay, so you have a bazaar and a bake sale at the same time.

[Tyler]

That's bizarre.

[Miles]

The sign, you're a small town, there's a benefit.

[Ryan]

Bizarre is a noun referring to a marketplace, specifically a street or area with many small shops commonly found in Middle Eastern or Asian cities.

[Miles]

Signs you're in.

[Ryan]

What's a Midwest bazaar? You also spelled bizarre wrong, I believe.

[Miles]

I know.

[Ryan]

I don't know.

[Jared]

I've never heard of it before.

[Miles]

So.

[Ryan]

A Midwest bazaar is a curated, often reoccurring market or event such as the Badger State Brewing Company's market. It's the farmers market that showcases a mix of vintage, artisan and handcrafted goods, often featuring items, for instance, upscaled clothing or curated antiques. According to Midwest Living article, these events, such as the first Sunday Midwest Bazaar, as highlighted in this article from the Petersburg observer, are popular in the region for offering a community focused, hip alternative to traditional flea markets.

[Miles]

This might have been the first time Miles has read the whole description, and he chose it to be about Midwest.

[Tyler]

Bizarre.

[Ryan]

Most boring one.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I think a bazaar is like, you know, old ladies sell their quilts.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Flea market vibes.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You ever. You ever set up shop at a flea market?

[Miles]

I've gone to them. Never set up shop. Nothing to sell.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

My kids keep break. My kids keep breaking the sword, so I can't sell them.

[Tyler]

You should sell washing machines at.

[Ryan]

Well, one. You're not. You're not making good enough swords if they can't even. They're in child.

[Miles]

Right.

[Tyler]

Are you still making swords?

[Miles]

No, I haven't in a hot minute. Production. Production is slowed. Demand in the winter for outdoor sword fights has been low, so I think it might be a seasonal shop.

[Ryan]

I want to make an indoor sword.

[Miles]

Yeah. I. I don't have the wood for that. I don't know what indoor wood would be.

[Ryan]

A soft wood. Yeah. Hardwoods for outside.

[Jared]

Yeah. Pine.

[Miles]

Yeah. But pine. The problem with pines, it can still shatter a vase.

[Jared]

That's only what I know.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You could just do. You could do foam.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Do balloon swords.

[Miles]

It kind of defeats the purpose of the wood shop.

[Ryan]

I just.

[Tyler]

Hey, you're still grinding and though.

[Ryan]

Yeah. We're trying to help.

[Tyler]

Yo.

[Miles]

I just.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan]

You want me to come up with a cure for cancer too? Jesus Christ.

[Miles]

I think that the wood shop just gets laid off in the winter.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

Ice fish in the winter. Get laid off from the wood shop.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Jared]

Dude, I'm trying.

[Ryan]

I'm doing My best.

[Miles]

There's no effort required. I don't. I don't need any. I got my direction. I appreciate the help, though.

[Tyler]

What's. What's that purple foam called that we used to have for the AC at 1.0 at our first shop?

[Ryan]

What do you mean that purple.

[Tyler]

That purple pink. Your pink foam?

[Ryan]

What do you bet he's made out of? Yeah, it's just insulation foam.

[Tyler]

Insulation foam. Okay.

[Ryan]

That'd be 2 inch insulation foam.

[Miles]

You get fiberglass splinters from that?

[Ryan]

No, it's not fiberglass. It's foam.

[Miles]

Okay. Yeah. Then I can maybe cut some out of that.

[Ryan]

That would actually. Because then you can shave it too. Mold it. A little sanding.

[Jared]

Just take the confetti and make a

[Miles]

sword out of it.

[Ryan]

Well, it's somewhere around here behind me. That's actually a really good idea. Then you just maybe like put like a. Maybe you just put like a nice. Put a. Put a lacquer over it.

[Miles]

Sure.

[Ryan]

Maybe a. A ceiling coat of spray. A spray coat. Coat over top of it. Keep it from. Because you don't want to have, you know, foam shavings.

[Miles]

Yeah, I think I would have to maybe get some sort of rod in it, like a plastic rod for a little more structure so they don't shatter on first contact, you know?

[Jared]

That's smart.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but you don't want to release this to get shattered.

[Miles]

Right?

[Tyler]

You know?

[Miles]

Yeah, it's a slippery slow.

[Ryan]

Why don't you just make the whole sword out of metal then? Yeah, and they'll never break. Plus it would make a cool noise.

[Miles]

He would make us.

[Ryan]

Why aren't we making swords out of metal? Why are we making them out of wood?

[Miles]

I don't know, man. Is. This is a great question. The medieval people would have killed a lot more humans if they use metal for their swords.

[Tyler]

Like, you could get a big slab of insulation foam and draw out like five swords. So when one breaks. Boom.

[Miles]

Or one mega sword, because that shit's light.

[Ryan]

It's true. No, what you need to do, take

[Tyler]

a full, like a 12 foot, like

[Ryan]

a 4, 4 by 8 sheet of insulation foam. You need to make jousting things.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And then your kids can run at

[Tyler]

each their lands, throw a hockey helmet on them and then just have them running.

[Ryan]

Yeah, and then they, you know, like the little strider bikes that they got, put them on those and then give them a. What are those called? The big jousting sword.

[Miles]

Lance.

[Ryan]

The lance. Give them a big lance, have them go at each other. They actually would love that. That'd be fun and pretty safe. Pretty, pretty.

[Tyler]

Yeah, they'll. They'll break pretty easily just because of how long.

[Miles]

Well, that's. That's how you score points. I know this from A Knight's Tale is you break a lance on someone's body.

[Ryan]

Canon.

[Miles]

Yeah. In the movie A Knight's Tale with Heath Ledger. That lore. Anyway, great movie. One of Jared's favorite movies.

[Ryan]

No, how's it stack up with A quiet place? No, how's it stack up with Legends of Fall?

[Jared]

I've never seen it.

[Ryan]

It's.

[Miles]

I would say it's much lighter hearted, so it's way easier re. Watch.

[Ryan]

Yeah, got it.

[Jared]

It's like a comedy.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's a. Yeah, a dramedy.

[Ryan]

It's like. So it's like Monty Python time.

[Miles]

It's way better than Monty P. Really? I think so, yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah. The coconuts.

[Ryan]

I've been doing that. My kids got a little, little toy farm with a horse. So I take it, I just go, he doesn't get it. He doesn't appreciate the bit.

[Tyler]

He'll understand it one day.

[Ryan]

And Anne's too busy on her phone to pay attention to my bit. So it's just me going like this to myself with a horse.

[Jared]

That's.

[Miles]

You do nice miles.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, I do that. I. I'm victim of that a lot. Yeah. I've got the dab.

[Miles]

I do that every time Becca ignores one of my jokes.

[Ryan]

I think, nice one.

[Tyler]

Sounds good.

[Ryan]

I think half of being a husband or a dad is just self dapping yourself up. Give them one of those.

[Tyler]

Yeah, because if, if you, if you can't dap yourself up, then you're not ready to dab other people up.

[Ryan]

Well, I think it's more so like, you know, you're not going to stop doing jokes and it gets to be a point where your wife doesn't think your jokes are funny anymore. So go. You gotta delve. You gotta dap yourself up.

[Miles]

Yeah. And your kid's too young to think your jokes are funny and some of mine are too young. Even when the older one, he'll just tell me that that wasn't funny and I'll be like, all right, well, I'll go myself. That was a good joke to me.

[Tyler]

See, there's a, there's a stretch though. It's like I'm still in it. I mean, I feel like it's from like 2 years old and now continuing on to almost 4. You can't. I get. I cannot.

[Miles]

Dude. Funniest person, you're on A flame.

[Ryan]

You're on a generational run, right?

[Tyler]

Absolute generational.

[Jared]

He like George Carlin.

[Miles]

Yeah. And then they start going to school and your isn't funny anymore and they roll your ey. Roll their eyes at you. And just like I lost my cuz. They met.

[Ryan]

They finally met Dylan.

[Miles]

Yeah. And Dylan way funnier than me from

[Ryan]

age 5 to 14. There's no one funnier than Dylan.

[Jared]

Maybe 18.

[Tyler]

I'm only going to allow my kid to hang out with other kids that, that think I'm funny.

[Miles]

You say one joke at the door, they don't laugh like, sorry, buddy, go home.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Hey, I think I have the new Dylan. This generation's Dylan is an Easton.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Tyler]

I could potentially get on board with that.

[Miles]

Easton's are up to absolutely no good.

[Tyler]

See, I got a buddy, his son's name's Easton.

[Miles]

Is he a yet?

[Tyler]

I. I haven't, I haven't. He's from the city, so I haven't really been around him much, but you

[Ryan]

mean he's from the city.

[Tyler]

Actually, when I was over there one time before the upper deck golf. He's from the cities.

[Ryan]

Oh, the cities. I thought you said he's from the city. I'm like, you live right outside.

[Tyler]

I was there what, a year and a half ago? Two years ago. And Easton did start coloring on the carpet with a marker.

[Miles]

There you go, dude. Yeah, my kid tells me stories about Easton at school. He is, he is constantly up to.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I believe it.

[Miles]

Yeah, he got in trouble for licking kids.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that. Yeah. Do kid. Do parents who name their kids Easton, do they love, love like, do they love like baseball and hockey?

[Miles]

I don't know.

[Tyler]

Are they like obsessive over also a

[Miles]

bunch of hunting gear?

[Tyler]

Really?

[Miles]

Yeah, it's the same brand, but they also do hunting.

[Ryan]

I'm sure Easton metal bad is.

[Miles]

Oh yeah.

[Ryan]

Green, silver handle, could hit with. Wasn't the bats problem, it was mine. Sure, sure. Oh, the old self dab. Yeah, I feel like, like what are, what are some things that dads have to self dap themselves up on?

[Miles]

Oh, jokes.

[Ryan]

Number one dad jokes.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

Like if you tell your kid that he, he can't have some or can't do something, but then mom does like, all right, sweet.

[Miles]

That's undermining.

[Tyler]

That's sick that I have authority around this house.

[Ryan]

For me it's like I'm watching sports and something sick happens and I'm like, did you guys see that? And they're doing something else. I should be like, oh yeah, that was sick.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

It's gonna happen to me with the Olympics a little bit. Huge ending to one of the short track speed skating ones. Huge crash.

[Tyler]

Really?

[Ryan]

They didn't care about it. Yeah. So I had to do one of these.

[Miles]

You tapped yourself up to a horrific crash.

[Ryan]

I was like, that was sick. Everyone was fine.

[Miles]

Okay, good.

[Ryan]

Everyone's fine. Sometimes those huge pads around the edge.

[Tyler]

Sometimes I'll. I'll make like a crazy shot on the tiny tyke soup and I'll just be like, did you guys just see that?

[Ryan]

All right.

[Miles]

When we were in Florida, we played football in the ocean and I had a sick one handed catch. No one gave a. It's a self tap yourself.

[Ryan]

One of those.

[Tyler]

How about you, Jared?

[Jared]

Finishing a chore. Self tap.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Hey, I just got done mowing the lawn, doing the dishes, and folding the laundry. Cool. All right then. Self tap.

[Tyler]

See the thing about those, that's just part of life.

[Miles]

I know. You know, I fixed the washing machine.

[Tyler]

I think that's. I think that deserves it.

[Miles]

No, I did get a dap up for that.

[Ryan]

You want to know something really weird that I've been that I self doubt

[Tyler]

myself up for at.

[Ryan]

So in states now, you can get a license plate that is black. Like every state now has a black colorway for their license plate. Have you been seeing those around? Says the state at the top. Whatever. Well, I, I started noticing as I was driving because these black ones are catching my eye. You know, I'm like, God, never seen that. I noticed that it's always three numbers. Did I tell you guys this before? No. On the podcast, I don't think on the pod you told me three numbers, three letters. I noticed that every North Dakota black license plate started with a G on the letters. And then I finally saw one, it started with a B. And I texted my wife. She didn't care. So I just suck myself. That's cool.

[Tyler]

I'll even like.

[Ryan]

So that's the kind of autism that I have. What do you guys have?

[Tyler]

If it's like a, like a very deservable dap, I'll even like, I'll even do like my own handshake.

[Ryan]

And yeah, I'll do it like this. Going one of these and then just give it like a. Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

So I can do the finger guns.

[Tyler]

Wiggy, wiggy, wiggy.

[Ryan]

And that's what being a dad is, Is like you, you, you sometimes you're just in your own world and stuff you think is sick, other people don't. And so you just got to, you know, keep the Good vibes going. And just give yourself one of the these once in a while.

[Miles]

I found out a audible hack the book, the audiobook app I use, I just cancel it every three months. They're like, please come back. We'll give you this special deal. So I just have a Timer on my or. Reminder my phone to cancel Audible every three months.

[Ryan]

Saving money.

[Miles]

Yep. I'm down to 299 if anyone's wondering. It's usually 12.99.

[Jared]

Holy buckets.

[Ryan]

Holy book.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's good.

[Ryan]

All right, cool. That was bad Dap, you guys.

[Miles]

You can do better.

[Ryan]

I need you to get your elbow up a little. Like, come on.

[Miles]

Holy.

[Tyler]

There's a lot going on.

[Miles]

Yeah, we need to reset.

[Ryan]

Take a break. Taking a break.

[Tyler]

You gotta finish off on a good one, though.

[Miles]

He looks like you're reverse jerking.

[Ryan]

All right, guys, I got my front boots on.

[Miles]

Thank God those weren't the steel heels or you just shattered that table.

[Ryan]

I'm kind of like a child in that way. Then when I discover something like that, then it's all I want to do. This whole podcast, all I've been wanting to do is

[Miles]

throwing a tantrum kicking your legs.

[Ryan]

And the best part is, is I'm not even worried about my boots getting damaged.

[Miles]

Hell, yeah.

[Ryan]

These Brunt boots are built to last.

[Miles]

Even if you're kicking your own table.

[Ryan]

We should just do a whole segment where we just try. We just kick stuff with our Brunt boots.

[Tyler]

Hey, do you get. Jared probably remembers this. You remember when we were ice fishing on Malax and we had to start kick. We. We had to start.

[Jared]

Yeah, he kicking it.

[Tyler]

We were heal.

[Ryan]

Donkey kicking.

[Tyler]

What were we heel kicking again?

[Jared]

I think every kick we had just to get.

[Tyler]

I think it was just to get the pin.

[Ryan]

Get the pin in the ice house. Yeah. It would have been nice to have boots.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You know, I've been. And Jared, you're never going to be in the scenario you were in where you were just wearing your socks out on the ice.

[Jared]

I had the worst boots. Imagine. But I wish I had brought, like.

[Ryan]

That's. That's. You did not. You just had your socks on. Yeah. If Brunt would have saw that back then, they would have sent you a pair of boots immediately. Cannot stomach this guy out there in his. His toe shoes.

[Tyler]

I think they would. They would have doordashed a pair of bronze for you.

[Jared]

They would have, yeah. Ten years from now, I'll be barefoot during that story.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

What do you mean, yeah?

[Tyler]

Literally, in 20 years, you'll be naked

[Miles]

in that state in 30 years, Jared will have drilled two holes and is just standing with his all the way up to his hips in the lake.

[Ryan]

I mean, that's kind of what he was doing. Yeah.

[Tyler]

We'll be playing strip poker.

[Ryan]

There was a bunch of water.

[Jared]

It was standing water. Better.

[Miles]

If you'd only bought Brunts.

[Jared]

If I only bought Brunts. Yep.

[Ryan]

I mean, that's like a great. It's a great thing, you know, it's like what else happened in life? If you had only bought Brunt.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You wouldn't be in the scenario, you know?

[Tyler]

Yeah. You ever gotta kick your own time out.

[Ryan]

My brother almost cut his foot off when we were doing that stamp patio this last summer. Remember I came out of retirement.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

He was wearing tennis shoes. Almost cut his foot off. He'd had the grunt comp toe on. He would have. He'd been and absolutely good. Safe.

[Miles]

I probably wouldn't have broke my leg playing football in the yard if I had the Brunt.

[Ryan]

If you had the high top Brunt laced all the way up.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Jared]

Probably

[Miles]

no one. No one will want to cover me either because I had kicked him in the shins with my steel toes.

[Ryan]

Yep. If you had. If you had bought Brunt, could have been a different story. Could also dragged your comp toe in the corner of the end zone for that touchdown. Out of balance.

[Jared]

True.

[Tyler]

That's true.

[Ryan]

So, guys, you don't want to be like Tyler and be wishing that you bought Brunt.

[Miles]

That's right.

[Ryan]

You don't want to be. You want to want to be a dunce like Jared standing there in his socks with no.

[Tyler]

Just no clothes on.

[Ryan]

It's just an absolute wishing that you bought Brunt.

[Miles]

Just shirt cocking it on the lake.

[Ryan]

You don't want to be one of those guys that wish you bought Brunt. Instead, go buy some brunt. Go to bruntworkwear.com use code ybr at checkout. They'll give you 10 bucks off and you are going to be feeling good.

[Miles]

Right?

[Ryan]

Oh, you good?

[Jared]

Yeah. We'll do a which state?

[Ryan]

All right.

[Miles]

Massachusetts is the witch state. Sorry, I didn't know you were going yet.

[Tyler]

Just mid.

[Miles]

I didn't know you were going. Already

[Ryan]

chitchatting sick. All right, Jared.

[Tyler]

What are you mocking me?

[Ryan]

Sorry, a little bit of Ryan going on in my throat.

[Miles]

He tossed the tickle over to you.

[Ryan]

I don't actually have Ryan in my throat.

[Miles]

You have thousands of little Ryan's

[Jared]

family show.

[Ryan]

This is a children's show.

[Miles]

That was A long break.

[Tyler]

Watch us on YouTube. People watch this on YouTube in their living rooms while their kids are playing. That's their own I'm a tiny tyke soup.

[Miles]

We put the TV ma on it.

[Ryan]

Do we?

[Jared]

I don't think we.

[Miles]

Do we mark it explicit.

[Ryan]

All right.

[Miles]

Otherwise, what are we.

[Ryan]

What are we doing?

[Jared]

We're doing a which state? Trivia.

[Ryan]

Okay, so this is trivia. Which state? How many questions will there be?

[Jared]

12.

[Ryan]

Thought we're doing 50.

[Jared]

Oh, I don't have that many.

[Ryan]

You should have foresaw there's 50 states.

[Jared]

Okay, well, I need to take a

[Ryan]

break in the union. All right, let's take it.

[Tyler]

So is this. Is this answer as a. This is an answer as a group. This is 1v1v1.

[Jared]

Yep. I'll go one by one. We'll go clockwise.

[Ryan]

Are we going to know these or are they kind of hard?

[Jared]

I think we'll get a few of them.

[Ryan]

Just depends on if you get them right. You're smart. If you don't, you're dumb.

[Jared]

Right. Hypnotist. Y. I'll start with you, Miles. Which state has the worst drivers? Which state has the worst drivers?

[Ryan]

Drivers, probably Illinois.

[Jared]

Final answer?

[Ryan]

Final answer.

[Jared]

North Dakota.

[Ryan]

How do we know? What are we getting the staff from? That'd be nice to know.

[Jared]

Due to the highest overall incidents.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, we know why that.

[Jared]

It's per capita 64 incidents per 1000 drivers.

[Miles]

Next question is, which state has the most DUIs?

[Jared]

That's part of it, yeah.

[Ryan]

Trick question.

[Tyler]

So that one is you and I don't. We did contribute to that, though.

[Miles]

Though. You did hit polls.

[Ryan]

We did hit polls. I don't. We didn't. We didn't report that to the police, though, so I don't think it counts.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's true.

[Jared]

Yeah. Ryan.

[Ryan]

But that same night car was on fire.

[Tyler]

Yes.

[Ryan]

So we can count that.

[Tyler]

Huge distraction.

[Jared]

Ryan, which state has the most tornadoes per year?

[Tyler]

In Oklahoma.

[Miles]

Ooh. I was. Can I steal?

[Ryan]

Can I steal?

[Tyler]

Hang on it that. I was just singing the song because that song's in Twister.

[Jared]

Twisters.

[Tyler]

So you guys are saying I got it wrong, so thanks for that one. Let's see. The most tornadoes. Smaller cities. Because shingles deflect tornadoes.

[Ryan]

True.

[Miles]

Smart thinking.

[Tyler]

Let's go with Kansas.

[Ryan]

Can I steal?

[Jared]

Yeah, we can do Steals it.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Well, I want to steal Miles driving one, then North Dakota.

[Ryan]

Can I steal Ryan's?

[Jared]

Sure.

[Ryan]

Did he lock in his final answer?

[Jared]

Is that your final answer?

[Tyler]

Final answer is Oklahoma.

[Ryan]

Is it Kansas?

[Miles]

I have no clue.

[Tyler]

It's Tornado Alley, dude. It's one of those.

[Miles]

Yeah, I'm gonna go Arkansas. I have no idea.

[Jared]

Nebraska, Texas.

[Ryan]

God, I got it. All right. One, one, zero. We can steal. It's like. It's so like we. We each get a steel, and then if we all get it wrong, then it's Battle Royale style.

[Jared]

You get.

[Ryan]

Just have to start throwing out answers. First one to get it. That's how we're doing this trivia.

[Miles]

So, North Dakota.

[Jared]

All right, so Miles and Tyler have a point.

[Ryan]

Wait, why does he.

[Miles]

I stole North Dakota.

[Ryan]

That was a he. 1 0.

[Miles]

No, keep going.

[Ryan]

Tyler, you're up.

[Jared]

All right, Tyler, which state has the highest obesity rate?

[Miles]

I've seen this stat on Instagram somewhere.

[Tyler]

So see, you probably know the.

[Miles]

Then I think it's Mississippi.

[Ryan]

Can I steal

[Miles]

final answer.

[Ryan]

Mississippi, Alabama.

[Miles]

It.

[Ryan]

Let's see.

[Tyler]

California, Georgia, Iowa, Florida, Colorado, Missouri, Georgia, Vermont, New York.

[Ryan]

Nash.

[Tyler]

Tennessee, Texas, Kentucky, Nebraska, Ohio, Ohio, North Dakota, Wisconsin, Louisiana, Rhode Island, Pennsylvania, Washington, Montana, Virginia, Massachusetts, Nevada, South Carolina, North Carolina, Florida, Arizona, New Mexico, Wyoming, Oklahoma,

[Ryan]

Minnesota, Alaska, Wisconsin, Hawaii.

[Jared]

I'm not sure if you said it or by now.

[Ryan]

What is it?

[Jared]

It's West Virginia.

[Ryan]

Oh,

[Tyler]

said I said Virginia, but then

[Jared]

I was going to say. You're warm.

[Tyler]

Same church, different pew.

[Jared]

So Ryan gets a point.

[Miles]

Yeah, sure.

[Jared]

Go.

[Ryan]

Wait, what? Why does he get a point?

[Tyler]

Because I was close.

[Jared]

He was close.

[Ryan]

Oh, I said Ohio.

[Miles]

So it's one more.

[Jared]

I'll give Ryan 0.5.

[Ryan]

Yeah, so it's one to five. To zero.

[Miles]

To one. One. One and a half.

[Tyler]

Oh, holy.

[Ryan]

Like, do you like. Do you guys like this Battle Royale

[Tyler]

finisher kind of 0.5? I mean. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, you didn't get it. So you got one word.

[Miles]

You got 50.

[Tyler]

Tyler got his after Jared said the answer.

[Miles]

That's fine, dude.

[Ryan]

Like, when you throw a pitch in baseball, if it's a. If it's just misses the strike zone, you're like, yeah, we'll count it as a strike.

[Tyler]

I mean. Yeah, it depends on the umpire. Sometimes they will.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we got the technology. It doesn't.

[Jared]

All right, Miles, which state has the most lakes?

[Miles]

This is gonna pissing people off.

[Ryan]

Can I ask a question before I answer this?

[Jared]

No.

[Ryan]

Well, I'm gonna.

[Miles]

Yeah, Jared, because this is.

[Ryan]

Because this is my podcast. What are we counting as a lake?

[Miles]

You don't have to answer.

[Tyler]

I think probably registered under. Under the government's website.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Which state's government, though? Because it's state by state. The federal government.

[Ryan]

The easy answer is Minnesota. But. But Then there's. All the people in Wisconsin are like, well, that's not true. We have more lakes than Minnesota. So I feel like this might be a trick question out of Jared.

[Jared]

I will help you. It is neither of those, Jared.

[Miles]

I know what it is. Dibs on stealing first.

[Jared]

You got dibs.

[Ryan]

Grab the most lakes.

[Tyler]

That's not how it works.

[Ryan]

You going?

[Miles]

No. Jared said it counts.

[Ryan]

The most lakes in the US Per capita or total?

[Miles]

Total.

[Ryan]

Alaska.

[Jared]

Bang.

[Miles]

That's right.

[Jared]

Got it.

[Ryan]

Surface area is what that. What that really boils down to.

[Jared]

I really helped you there.

[Miles]

You did.

[Ryan]

I mean, I pay your paychecks, so what do you guys expect? That's like a huge bribe. Actually,

[Jared]

the biggest surprise.

[Ryan]

2.50111. Why does he have one?

[Miles]

Because I stole North Dakota.

[Ryan]

You already said it.

[Miles]

Battle Royale.

[Ryan]

That'd be like. That'd be like Ryan being, like, Alaska. Now. And then he gets a point.

[Miles]

But you didn't get it. Exactly. Nobody had said North Dakota. Exactly.

[Tyler]

Jared did.

[Jared]

I don't want Tyler's fields to get hurt, so I gave him.

[Ryan]

We don't need a grilling. 2.0.

[Miles]

I got one here.

[Ryan]

All right, Ryan's up.

[Jared]

All right, Ryan, which state has the

[Tyler]

most McDonald's per cappy or.

[Jared]

No, just totally total.

[Ryan]

Where's your mom live, Jared?

[Miles]

She's such a nice lady. Yeah.

[Ryan]

What the hell? Oh, no. This is my podcast.

[Miles]

That's a technical.

[Ryan]

That was a. Your mom did catch a stray there for no reason.

[Jared]

It's a mean jar.

[Ryan]

I'll put a buck in the mean jar. I'll submit to that. It just was so.

[Jared]

I mean, it was right there, you

[Ryan]

know, like, I almost said it on the obese one. At least this was a, you know, backhanded.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I got you California. Final answer.

[Jared]

Bang.

[Ryan]

Let's go. 2. 1.5 to 0 1.

[Miles]

Jared's the judge.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but he's.

[Ryan]

You can't even read and say, gotta be careful. At the same time, you don't.

[Miles]

The referee doesn't need to read his thing before he hands out a point.

[Jared]

All right, Tyler, which state has the highest amount of tattoo parlors per capita?

[Tyler]

Can I steal before he answers?

[Jared]

Sure.

[Miles]

Nevada.

[Ryan]

Go ahead. Steal beforehand.

[Miles]

Nevada.

[Tyler]

I answered Nevada data.

[Ryan]

Okay, so I get to steal now. What's the question again?

[Jared]

Which state has the highest amount of tattoo parlors per capita?

[Ryan]

I'm gonna go per Cappy. Ohio.

[Miles]

Hawaii.

[Ryan]

Bang.

[Miles]

Let's go.

[Ryan]

Wow.

[Miles]

Per capita is what gave it away. Way. A lot of people get tattoos in Hawaii.

[Ryan]

Okay, so now you Got a point. You're on the board.

[Miles]

You were. I'm coming.

[Tyler]

Two to one and a half to one to one.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Jared]

Who am I on?

[Tyler]

Who Did I just tell me or.

[Miles]

No, it was. It was. That was my question because I went Nevada.

[Ryan]

He stole before he answered.

[Miles]

Yep. Yeah.

[Jared]

So who's up? Tyler?

[Ryan]

I'm up.

[Jared]

Oh, okay. To bow. Which state spends the most on lottery tickets per capita?

[Miles]

Can I steal? Deal. Before he answers.

[Jared]

Not before. After the.

[Miles]

Is that.

[Tyler]

It's per cap.

[Ryan]

It's my podcast.

[Miles]

Such horseshit.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Pays, pay.

[Miles]

I got a hand tied behind my back.

[Ryan]

Lottery tickets per capita. Rhode Islander. No.

[Tyler]

He said no, though.

[Ryan]

I said no.

[Miles]

Well, now you know it's not. Rhode island tripped me.

[Ryan]

I'm gonna go Minnesota. Final answer. Can I steal?

[Tyler]

California, Ohio, Nevada, Texas, Wisconsin, Vermont, North

[Ryan]

Dakota, South Dakota, Iowa, Montana, Y. Oregon,

[Tyler]

Florida, Washington, Wyoming, Connecticut, Hawaii, Maine, Alaska, Alabama, Missouri, New York, Michigan, Arkansas, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, North Carolina, West Virginia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Virginia, New York, Louisiana, New Mexico, Oregon, Michigan, Pennsylvania.

[Jared]

No.

[Ryan]

Idaho, Ohio, Wyoming, Colorado.

[Jared]

Nope.

[Ryan]

New Mexico, Arizona.

[Tyler]

We've said Kansas, Nebraska, Missouri, Iowa, Arkansas,

[Ryan]

Wisconsin, Tennessee, Kentucky, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Virginia.

[Miles]

Holy.

[Tyler]

Virginia.

[Ryan]

What is it?

[Jared]

Massachusetts.

[Ryan]

Oh, my God. Oh, my go. Was genuinely didn't say that. Only state I went. I did Rhode island and Connecticut and Vermont.

[Jared]

I think you did too.

[Tyler]

And New York and Pennsylvania and.

[Ryan]

Jeez. Massachusetts.

[Miles]

I don't think anyone said New Jersey either.

[Ryan]

No. Or Delaware.

[Miles]

Right. Ryan's turn.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Ryan]

That was.

[Miles]

That was terrible, that.

[Jared]

That.

[Miles]

Dude.

[Tyler]

What was the question?

[Miles]

Gambling all lottery tickets.

[Ryan]

Oh, dude. The fact you can't realize how bad we are at trivia. Yeah, that there's a limited amount of answers and we get unlimited.

[Jared]

Unlimited.

[Ryan]

Unlimited tries at it and we still. No one got a point.

[Jared]

Brutal.

[Miles]

That's really bad.

[Ryan]

That's a.

[Tyler]

That's a tough look.

[Jared]

All right, Ryan, which state has the most unsafe bridges?

[Tyler]

How are we supposed to know this?

[Jared]

It's trivia, but.

[Tyler]

Trivia. At least those people have a general idea of an answer.

[Miles]

This is trivia.

[Jared]

You always attack via trivia.

[Miles]

Yeah, he just attacks you a lot.

[Tyler]

Most unsafe brid bridges, per cappy or.

[Jared]

No, this one's total.

[Tyler]

Okay, that means there's a lot of streams. Slash rivers. Slash.

[Ryan]

Could be overpasses.

[Tyler]

Wisconsin.

[Jared]

Final answer.

[Tyler]

Yes. Idaho, Michigan, Iowa, Minnesota.

[Ryan]

Oh, my God. Two and a half.

[Miles]

Two.

[Ryan]

One.

[Miles]

When we did the tour, we definitely drove over some unsafe bridges.

[Ryan]

Sketchy.

[Miles]

Yep. They were not good.

[Ryan]

Sketchtown USA was at Iowa. Town with a bad bridge.

[Tyler]

What's this? What's the standings right now? Because I Think I have two and a half.

[Jared]

Ryan's winning.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Two and a half. Two, one, zero.

[Jared]

Two.

[Ryan]

He's one.

[Jared]

He's got two.

[Ryan]

He's got two minus a point. He did get my point at some point.

[Tyler]

I know he's got one. He got Alaska.

[Miles]

Right,

[Jared]

Tyler?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Jared]

Which state is number one for uninsured drivers?

[Miles]

Uninsured drivers? California. Yep.

[Jared]

Nope.

[Ryan]

Florida.

[Tyler]

Wyoming, Montana, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, South Dakota, North Dakota, Kansas, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Ohio, New Mexico, Arizona, Mississippi.

[Ryan]

Alabama.

[Jared]

Yes.

[Tyler]

Three to two and a half to one.

[Miles]

This is such a. I kind of like that.

[Tyler]

I actually. Because I like the Battle Royale because it starts when Jerry goes. It starts.

[Jared]

There we go.

[Miles]

We're not even abiding to the legit steel anymore.

[Tyler]

No.

[Ryan]

Well, that's Battle Royale. These guys are learning a lot about Battle Royale.

[Jared]

State Miles. Which state has the highest.

[Tyler]

Wait, it isn't it. Oh, yeah. You just got one. Okay, sorry.

[Jared]

Which state has the highest cigarette smoking rate?

[Ryan]

Can you use it in a sentence?

[Jared]

Which state has the highest amount of smokers?

[Ryan]

No, we can use that sentence in a sentence.

[Miles]

Is it per capita? Capita.

[Jared]

It's a percentage. So I guess.

[Ryan]

Well, it's the highest percentage.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

It'll be a percentage. I guess. This one.

[Ryan]

Smokers. West Virginia. Final answer. I'm running away. How many we even got left?

[Jared]

We got two left.

[Ryan]

Four. Two and a half. One, two.

[Miles]

Thank you, Jared.

[Jared]

All right, I go get this one. Which state has the most sex

[Tyler]

per Cappy or.

[Jared]

No, it's a certain amount of times per week they have the highest amount of that. So I don't know if that's per capita. I'm not a math guy.

[Tyler]

Most sex.

[Jared]

Most sex per week. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Nevada.

[Jared]

Final answer.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

No way. I thought that was for sure. It.

[Tyler]

California. Washington.

[Ryan]

Virginia.

[Tyler]

Utah.

[Miles]

Georgia.

[Ryan]

Virginia. Florida? Utah. You guess. Utah. For the sex question.

[Miles]

Mormons?

[Tyler]

Utah. More like Mita.

[Ryan]

Is it Utah?

[Miles]

Utah?

[Ryan]

Florida?

[Jared]

Nope.

[Tyler]

North Carolina, Massachusetts? Carolina, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Arizona, Oklahoma, Arizona, New York, New Mexico.

[Jared]

No.

[Tyler]

Montana, New Jersey, Colorado, Massachusetts, Michigan, Rhode Island, Iowa, Tennessee, Maine, Michigan, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Hawaii, Washington, D.C. district of Columbus, Columbia. Pennsylvania.

[Ryan]

Indiana.

[Miles]

Let's go.

[Jared]

Alaska.

[Ryan]

Gotta stay warm. Yeah.

[Miles]

Nothing to do in the winners besides drink.

[Ryan]

Well, last question.

[Jared]

So Tyler's got three. Yeah. Last question.

[Ryan]

So this is. I already won.

[Jared]

I won, basically, yeah.

[Ryan]

This is.

[Tyler]

Do I have three and a half?

[Ryan]

This is just. This is just gonna be a victory lap for me.

[Tyler]

So what do you find? Four to two and a half to two to one?

[Jared]

Three.

[Miles]

Three according to two.

[Jared]

So Tyler could tie you.

[Ryan]

He has two Points.

[Jared]

He has three.

[Ryan]

He has two.

[Jared]

Okay, Tyler, you already said the victory lap for me. Which state has the least amount of sex?

[Ryan]

Iowa.

[Jared]

It's victory.

[Ryan]

The victory app. Yes. This is, this is all ceremonial.

[Jared]

It's not Iowa.

[Miles]

I'm gonna go Ohio. Yes.

[Tyler]

Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Colorado, Montana, Wyoming, Washington, California, New Mexico, South Carolina, North Carolina, Florida, Kentucky, Tennessee, Maine, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, District of Columbia, Idaho, Maine, Rhode Island, Utah, New York.

[Ryan]

What's the question again?

[Tyler]

Least amount of sex.

[Jared]

Which stands the least?

[Tyler]

New Hampshire, Missouri, Alabama, Mississippi, Michigan.

[Jared]

I'm not even sure if it's what said yet.

[Tyler]

I think I've said all this. Hawaii, Alaska, Ohio, Canada. In the future when they're the 51st.

[Ryan]

Pennsylvania, Virginia, West Virginia, Michigan.

[Tyler]

Said all those said Y.

[Ryan]

New Jersey. Delaware. What?

[Miles]

Georgia, Colorado.

[Jared]

Bang.

[Tyler]

I. I said Colorado. I said Colorado minutes ago.

[Miles]

That's the problem with Battle Royale. You guys just scream.

[Ryan]

I know.

[Tyler]

I think I said twice.

[Ryan]

Actually I didn't scream. Anyway, so I got four to three

[Tyler]

and a half to one.

[Miles]

I think I got it like five,

[Ryan]

two and a half to one.

[Jared]

Tyler got three.

[Miles]

Thanks, Jerry.

[Jared]

Ryan got two and a half miles one.

[Tyler]

I didn't. That's such.

[Jared]

So Tyler beat Ryan.

[Ryan]

So did you think. Did that go well, Jared? Did you like how that went? We wouldn't have gotten any.

[Jared]

You got some.

[Miles]

You got a couple legit.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I mean I still would have won. You're right.

[Tyler]

How does tight he get a point for question one when you already gave us the answer?

[Miles]

Because you guys made the rules.

[Jared]

Us? I told you I didn't want him to feel bad.

[Tyler]

Give him a trophy too then. For getting second.

[Miles]

Oh yeah. I'll get a runner up medal. It'll be.

[Ryan]

It'll be red.

[Jared]

And I'll give you a participation medal.

[Tyler]

I don't want one.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

I don't believe in participation medals or ribbons or trophies.

[Ryan]

You gotta relax.

[Tyler]

Or certificates even.

[Ryan]

You gotta relax. I know you didn't win like I did. You gotta just gotta go along.

[Miles]

You gotta brain aneurysms.

[Tyler]

You gotta just go along with the bit. It.

[Ryan]

What else you got, Jared?

[Jared]

I got fun fact.

[Ryan]

Okay, let's hear it. Is it.

[Miles]

Which state?

[Jared]

No. An an erection following a severe fall is known as prism. Can indicate a serious spinal cord injury and requires immediate emergency care without moving the person. Such an erection or involuntary reaction is a sign that nerve pathway specifically around the sacral region, S2, S4 core have been damage affecting the body's involuntary nerve responses. Also known as a reflex. Reflex erection.

[Ryan]

I mean talk about the ultimate blue balls.

[Miles]

No, kid.

[Ryan]

You get a spinal cord injury, you pop a bee, and you can't even do anything about it because you're not supposed to move.

[Miles]

Worst part, worst way to happen. If you just. You land on your belly.

[Ryan]

Oh.

[Miles]

And you.

[Jared]

And you do a boner push up.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Push ups.

[Miles]

They won't even know.

[Jared]

So it's a good PSA if anybody ever.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

That also sucks if you get a hot EMT coming in.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Or it could be sig. They stabilize your neck. Yeah. So good to know if you.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You know, if you fall off the roof, getting your Christmas lights down and you pop boner, get to the emergency room.

[Tyler]

Well, have some. Someone call because you're not supposed to move.

[Miles]

So if you're not supposed to move, how do they get you out of there? They do life, flight, spinal surgery where you lay.

[Tyler]

I think they just.

[Ryan]

Spinal injury. They just kind of finagle you on the board stretcher.

[Tyler]

I think the helicopter hovers over top. They bring down a rope, they tie it up to the popped B. And then they just. And they fly and just start spinning.

[Ryan]

It's like Lindsey Vaughn. Which you got airlifted off the mountain.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Do you see that?

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

They. They took her so high in the air. I'm so scared of heights. I would have. That would have been worse than the injury for me. That's the way we're getting her down.

[Miles]

You'd have passed out. It had been perfect.

[Ryan]

That's true. My hands were sweating watching Lindsey Vaughn getting air lifted out of there.

[Miles]

How. How did you feel when stray. I went to space.

[Ryan]

Then it's this different.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Ryan]

So much different.

[Tyler]

He's not scared of heights. In space.

[Ryan]

First of all, he was in a vehicle hole.

[Miles]

Okay. Lindsay was just strapped there on a gurney.

[Ryan]

It's crazy, whatever it is. Seems. It seems more unsafe than what she was doing on the mountain.

[Tyler]

So they. They. She was just hanging by the ropes on a stretcher.

[Ryan]

Just took her off.

[Tyler]

Holy.

[Ryan]

Didn't even get her into a helicopter. She was just dangling underneath it.

[Jared]

It's extreme.

[Ryan]

So anyways, get better.

[Jared]

Lindsay.

[Ryan]

Hey, we're thinking about you.

[Miles]

How do they check this injury on girls?

[Ryan]

What injury?

[Miles]

The S2.

[Ryan]

S2s because they're popping a C. Yeah.

[Jared]

All right. The.

[Tyler]

Does that mean.

[Ryan]

You ever seen anyone pop a C before?

[Tyler]

I can't say I have.

[Ryan]

Have.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Around the wrong part of the Internet then.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Johnny sends. Scene. Your boy Johnny, he's seen a few Cs. Popped.

[Miles]

Oh,

[Tyler]

I was thinking of the other C word in relation to Tuesday.

[Ryan]

Is that it, Jared? All right, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode.

[Tyler]

Good episode.

[Ryan]

We'll see you next one. Oh, you betcha. Yeah. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Probably two weeks ago, I was just having a conversation with Alexa because. Alex, do you guys notice Alexa's voice changed? Do you guys have any?

[Miles]

I do, but I haven't talked to her in months. Okay, maybe a year.

[Tyler]

I. The only reason I talk to her, really, is to put on the grocery list, so for out of cayenne pepper. Alexa.

[Miles]

Alexa.

[Tyler]

Or I'll try and get around and be like, alexis, put cayenne pepper on the shopping list.

[Miles]

Just to see, like, how if she's really listening.

[Tyler]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jared]

Heavily Hunks.

[Tyler]

And then I was just bored, so I just started having a conversation with her about, like, politics and just everything. But she wouldn't really give up much. She was.

[Miles]

Yeah, she was pretty programmed not to.

[Tyler]

I know, but. Well, I just. I wanted to see what I. I wanted to see what I could get out of her.

[Miles]

I. I do that with ChatGPT, the voice feature.

[Tyler]

Oh.

[Miles]

Like, if I'm driving, I'll just throw it on voice and literally have a conversation about. I did that yesterday on my way home. I finished a book and it's a series and it felt like the end for a character. And I was like, hey, does this character come back? And then we talked about that character and why I'm sad that he's not coming back.

[Ryan]

Sure.

[Jared]

Talk through it.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's not a bad way. The only thing about ChatGPT is they give you a fucking novel of an answer.

[Miles]

Not when you talk. Talk to it.

[Tyler]

Oh, interesting.

[Miles]

Way more conversational when you're not just. It's not text based.

[Tyler]

Okay, that's good to know.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I think you gotta get, like, Alexis or Alexa liquored up and, like, they recharge her into, like, a bigger, like, outlet.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. Use your MacBook charger for Alexa. Just get her. Get her tweaking.

[Ryan]

Sure.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I could maybe do that.

[Jared]

Got prime the pump a little.

[Tyler]

I was kind of disappointed with some of the shit she wouldn't answer. And she also wouldn't tell me why her voice changed.

[Jared]

That's weird.

[Miles]

Tick.

[Tyler]

Yeah. It's like she didn't even know. Oh, she. She kept saying, like, I'm some sort of, like, computer whatever. I'm like, I. Okay, I don't care.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Why did your voice change?

[Miles]

Ask her if she has a tickle in her voice box.

[Jared]

Yeah, she's got a bug.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

Not enough people are not enough lonely people. Not that I'm lonely, but I was at home just by myself, making supper, waiting for family to get home.

[Miles]

Wait for these.

[Tyler]

I think I'm gonna start talking to Alexa.

[Miles]

When does the roast. Every air that aired today. Okay, cool. I just.

[Jared]

It's out.

[Miles]

Y. We've been pre. Recording episodes since Miles on vacation. I didn't want.

[Jared]

No, we're good.

[Miles]

Didn't want our timeline to be right.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we're good.

[Miles]

We're good. We're good.

[Jared]

So. So with your Alexa, like, I think she just. She. I think she's tired to be treated like a grocery list, and you need to ask her how she's feeling.

[Miles]

Honestly? Yeah.

[Jared]

She feels like a piece of meat on your list.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I mean, that's kind of what she is.

[Jared]

Don't let her hear this.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Oh. The only thing that. That I've seen Alexa be used for in a while. My kids just ask her to fart.

[Jared]

That's good.

[Miles]

She.

[Tyler]

And she will.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Well, see, that's like.

[Miles]

It's a.

[Tyler]

She'll do that, but she won't ask me or she won't answer. Like, you know who's running you? Yeah. Is Bezos name in the Epstein files? I was asking a lot of Epstein file questions too, and she didn't. I don't know.

[Miles]

She just wouldn't because her. She's.

[Tyler]

She's in there.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Alexa's in there.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Alexa read me the redacted part.

[Miles]

I would actually be blown away if there wasn't a single Amazon Alexa on the island. So she knows she's on the list?

[Tyler]

Oh, for sure. Buddies Google home. Not. I don't even think Google home. I think Amazon Alexa is more shooting for Jeff ep.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Jared]

Same name.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Just asking her conspiracy questions. Did Epstein kill himself? Stuff like that.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

It's like, do you know anything? Aren't you supposed to know this stuff?

[Miles]

Ryan's on his Epstein ranch. He's like. So do you still want the cayenne pepper on your list or no?

[Tyler]

Yeah, I told you that the first time. Put on the list.

[Ryan]

I don't know.

[Tyler]

I. When she doesn't function correctly, I. I don't know why I get mad at her.

[Jared]

That's gonna come back to bite you when the robots take over.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I mean, but, like, are they building these robots to take a 300 short mag round to the dome?

[Miles]

They might be.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

[Jared]

Stop saying that, Ryan.

[Ryan]

They're listening.

[Jared]

Listen.

[Tyler]

That's right. They've Been listening forever.

[Miles]

They got.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it. Anyway.

[Jared]

Anyway,

[Tyler]

you guys want to get into it or you got any. Anyone. Anyone else got any more filler or small talk they want to.

[Jared]

I'm good.

[Miles]

Trying to think. I did one more thing that you guys were grown at on vacation, but now I can't remember what it was.

[Jared]

Could go back to you.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. Because I knew you guys are growing at the 5k. Not you, Ryan.

[Tyler]

At the fine kit. 5k.

[Miles]

Miles would grow at the 5k. But we did one other thing. Oh. We hijacked a VFW and threw our own karaoke night.

[Tyler]

Nice.

[Jared]

That's, like, your dream.

[Miles]

See, before you remember. Awesome.

[Tyler]

Before you.

[Miles]

Awesome.

[Tyler]

Sorry. Before you remembered what it was I was gonna say. Well, I was gonna say, like, what a story I. I had. I had something about vacation that you guys were gonna groan about, but I forgot. That's great filler, Tyler.

[Miles]

It is.

[Tyler]

That's step number one to getting good at filler.

[Miles]

Then I remember. Remembered it. So we literally showed up to the vfw. I had my laptop and the proper connections, and we knew they had a speaker, like one of the. That I could connect my laptop to. Bluetooth that also connected to microphones because we went there earlier in the week.

[Jared]

Gotcha.

[Miles]

So we scouted it out, got it, showed back up on Thursday night. We're like, hey, can we do karaoke? They're like, sure. We don't have a karaoke machine. Like, don't worry about it. Can we do karaoke? They're like, okay, go for it. And by the end of the night, I probably had 15 locals plus our group of 16 running karaoke just off of YouTube. It was fucking awesome.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe it was awesome. And teach their own. I'd rather just not go on vacation than do that.

[Miles]

Fair enough. But we would have convinced you. We convinced all the locals to come over into our side of the bar, do karaoke again.

[Tyler]

I've never done karaoke.

[Miles]

Not once.

[Tyler]

Not once.

[Miles]

Once we get you drunk enough time, I'll do.

[Tyler]

I'll do like, non microphone Karoki while someone else is doing it. I'll do it in the crowd.

[Jared]

What's the difference?

[Miles]

With the mic? Then I could you get up there and you sing badoing doing do. The crowd will go wild. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Don't do that again because it will get stuck in my head.

[Miles]

Too late.

[Jared]

Well, you can say God's coach. You've been sick of that all morning.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

No. And you don't have to do it.

[Ryan]

Good.

[Miles]

You can be a smart ass about it.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but I want to be good. That's how I do stuff. Stuff. I do stuff until I'm good.

[Miles]

Hey, but good karaoke is entertaining. So if being a smart ass is entertaining, then that's good karaoke.

[Jared]

The stage is your canvas.

[Tyler]

Maybe that'll be a New Year's resolution for next year.

[Jared]

Do one karaoke song.

[Miles]

I like that.

[Ryan]

Just.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Do karaoke for the first time.