Subtle Signs That Someone is a Dick 🎙 #312

Summary

Podcast Summary: You Betcha Radio - Episode #312: "Subtle Signs That Someone is a Dick"

Release Date: February 5, 2025
Host: Miles (You Betcha Guy) with Ryan, Tyler, and Jared
Description: Dive into the heart of Midwest culture with Miles and his gang as they explore manhood, nostalgia, and the quintessential Midwest experience. This episode is packed with humor, insightful discussions, and the introduction of exciting new projects.

---

1. Introduction and House Projects (00:00 – 02:14)

The episode kicks off with Miles and Ryan humorously fumbling through their introductions, setting a lighthearted tone. Miles shares his recent weekend activities involving house projects, specifically painting their bedroom. The gang discusses the challenges of dealing with paint fumes, highlighting their attempt to sleep in a freshly painted room with cracked windows and a fan for ventilation.

Notable Quote:

• Miles [00:25]: "I was weekend warrior this weekend and so my brain's just a little foggy. You know, house projects, painting."

---

2. Announcement of the Patrons Choice Awards (PCAs) (02:14 – 09:58)

The hosts reveal an exciting new venture: the Patrons Choice Awards (PCAs), set to launch on February 28, 2025. These awards are likened to the People's Choice Awards but exclusively for their Patreon supporters. The PCA event promises a mix of humor, AI musical guests, and interactive elements where patrons can vote for nominees.

Notable Quotes:

• Miles [02:44]: "February 28, 2025, we will be releasing the first ever Patrons Choice Awards."
• Ryan [04:18]: "There is shenanigans. There's gonna be shenanigans."

---

3. PCAs Categories and Nominees (05:11 – 06:21)

The first two PCA categories are unveiled:

• Best Podcast Guest: Nominees include Dave Flops and Ryan's College Buddies.
• Best Podcast Character: Nominees include Anne, Charlie, and the H Vac Guy from Episode 260.

The hosts express enthusiasm about the categories and encourage patrons to stay tuned for the full list of nominees, which will be released the following week on Patreon.

Notable Quote:

• Jared [06:20]: "From episode 260. So those are the first two categories."

---

4. Promoting PCAs and Community Engagement (09:58 – 17:58)

The conversation shifts to how the PCA will function, with mentions of green carpets instead of red carpets to allow for creative editing and fun presentations. The hosts emphasize the interactive nature of the PCAs, where patrons can vote and influence the outcome.

Notable Quotes:

• Miles [07:32]: "We're gonna have a green carpet. We're gonna dress up for this guy."
• Ryan [16:29]: "Jalen Carter needs a Half a sack. Kareem Hunt. More than 0.5."

---

5. Main Segment: Subtle Signs Someone is a Dick (17:58 – 43:35)

a. Sportsmanship and Pickup Games (17:58 – 21:56): The gang identifies behaviors in sports, particularly basketball, that indicate someone is a "dick." Examples include overly aggressive foul-calling in pickup games and not playing fair. They humorously describe the archetype of the person who disrupts the game to gain control or assert dominance.

Notable Quotes:

• Miles [18:06]: "A subtle sign that someone's a dick is kind of talking about basketball."
• Ryan [19:30]: "Someone who's never really had any, like, control in life and they want to take control of the game."

b. Charity Rounding Up and Personal Ethics (22:10 – 31:35): The discussion turns to the act of rounding up purchases for charity. The hosts debate whether frequently rounding up small amounts makes someone considerate or subtly selfish, especially if done inconsistently or without transparency.

Notable Quotes:

• Tyler [22:10]: "The guy that brings all the bats is always a dick."
• Miles [30:35]: "You could be a subtle dick."

c. Public Behavior with Personal Items (31:50 – 43:35): They explore subtle signs through everyday actions, such as leaving shopping carts improperly, cluttering personal spaces like nightstands, and generally disregarding communal norms. These behaviors are portrayed as minor yet telling indicators of a person's character.

Notable Quotes:

• Jared [35:24]: "No, it's just."
• Tyler [35:32]: "There's a famous essay that's like. That is the truest litmus test if a person is a good person."

---

6. Promotion Segment: Price Picks and Code YBR (23:03 – 27:00)

Miles introduces a promotional segment for Price Picks, offering patrons a $50 bonus when they sign up using the code YBR. The hosts enthusiastically discuss their own Price Picks lineups, sharing their predictions and strategies for the NFL season's final week.

Notable Quotes:

• Miles [23:03]: "It's a free square. Free money."
• Ryan [24:11]: "He just needs one yard. If you haven't used up all of the money you could spend on the free square, you got another week to do it."

---

7. Introduction to New Merchandise: Bush Patch Hats (50:12 – 51:53)

The hosts unveil new Bush Patch Hats available on their website. Miles and Ryan showcase different colors and styles, emphasizing the limited availability and encouraging listeners to purchase before they sell out.

Notable Quotes:

• Miles [51:34]: "You gotta go to the website before these suckers are gone."
• Ryan [51:22]: "There will be a camel one."

---

8. Segment: Best Things to Argue with Your Wife About (51:53 – 85:00)

In a humorous take on marital dynamics, the hosts discuss lighthearted and trivial topics that can spark arguments with their wives. Topics include:

• Fart Battles: Debating who has the worse farts.
• Pizza Crust Wars: Disagreements over grabbing crust pieces.
• Garden Planning: Navigating the complexities of starting and maintaining a garden.
• Personal Space in the Home: Clashes over the organization of personal items like nightstands and kitchen counters.

The conversation highlights the humorous side of domestic life, with each host sharing personal anecdotes and strategies to navigate these minor conflicts.

Notable Quotes:

• Miles [52:58]: "What are the best things to argue with your wife about?"
• Ryan [57:02]: "We started playing the game where Guess the sound."

---

9. Segment: Best Professions for an Ideal Lifestyle (85:00 – 103:53)

The hosts evaluate various professions based on the criteria of high pay, low pressure, ample time off, and overall lifestyle quality. They discuss:

• Mid-Level State Government Jobs: Presenting a balanced salary with generous benefits.
• Tenured College Professors: Highlighting job security, flexible schedules, and the freedom to pursue personal interests.
• Massage Therapists and Yoga Instructors: Weighing the relaxation against the physical demands and potential for burnout.
• Drop Shippers and TikTok Influencers: Considering the allure of modern, flexible jobs against their inherent challenges.

The discussion is both informative and comedic, with the hosts weighing the pros and cons of each profession while injecting their signature humor.

Notable Quotes:

• Tyler [74:22]: "Mid level state government job. You got a ton of wood in your woodshed and a fire burning stove."
• Miles [75:46]: "The tenured college professor has the best lifestyle of any."

---

10. Closing Remarks and Final Banter (103:53 – 105:25)

As the episode winds down, the hosts engage in playful banter, reflecting on the episode's discussions and teasing future content. Miles reminds listeners to check out their Patreon for exclusive content, reinforcing the community-driven aspect of the podcast.

Notable Quotes:

• Miles [105:25]: "If you want more, you bet your radio, you gotta check out our Patreon."
• Ryan [105:27]: "Come with me."

---

Key Takeaways:

• Patrons Choice Awards (PCAs): An exciting new initiative allowing Patreon supporters to vote and participate in awards tailored to the podcast community.
• Subtle Signs of Negative Behavior: Through relatable scenarios, the hosts identify everyday actions that may indicate someone has a less desirable character.
• Community and Merchandise: Introduction of new merchandise like Bush Patch Hats and promotions to engage and reward their listener base.
• Humorous Insights into Personal Life: Lighthearted discussions about marital dynamics and trivial domestic disputes, offering both humor and relatability.
• Evaluation of Professions: An entertaining yet insightful analysis of various careers based on lifestyle quality, blending humor with practical observations.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Miles [05:40]: "Best Podcast Guest is the name of the category."
• Ryan [19:30]: "Someone who's never really had any, like, control in life and they want to take control of the game."
• Tyler [22:10]: "The guy that brings all the bats is always a dick."
• Miles [30:35]: "You could be a subtle dick."
• Miles [51:34]: "You gotta go to the website before these suckers are gone."
• Tyler [74:22]: "Mid level state government job. You got a ton of wood in your woodshed and a fire burning stove."

---

Conclusion: Episode #312 of You Betcha Radio masterfully blends humor with insightful discussions about everyday behaviors and societal norms. From introducing the exciting Patrons Choice Awards to dissecting the subtle signs of less desirable character traits, the hosts offer a relatable and entertaining experience for listeners. Additionally, the episode delves into personal anecdotes about marital dynamics and evaluates professions based on lifestyle quality, all while maintaining the podcast's signature Midwest charm and humor. Don't forget to support the show on Patreon to stay connected and enjoy exclusive content!

Transcript

[Miles]

Welcome back to you Bet yout Radio podcast. The coldest podcast in all the Midwest. I am Miles. You betcha guy here with Ryan the T shirt guy. We are live and live. Did I do the intro? Ryan, this podcast on the Midwest. I'm is rich guy here with Ryan. T shirt guy. And we are live.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's it. Didn't miss a beat.

[Tyler]

What were you thinking about?

[Miles]

I don't know. I just. I was weekend warrior this weekend and so my brain's just a little foggy. You know, house projects, painting.

[Tyler]

That's why your brain's foggy.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Sucking down fumes for 48 hours.

[Miles]

That is true. It's not good when. Because we painted our bedroom and then we slept in it that night and we did have to like. We were like, are we getting a headache or what's. And so we had to like Google, like, can you sleep in a room that was just painted? The answers were wishy washy.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So we just like cracked the window, like had a fan blowing the fresh air and it was fine.

[Jared]

But weird dreams that it was good.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I mean, it was crazy.

[Ryan]

Yeah. So hallucinating at one point. Didn't know if I was awake or sleeping.

[Tyler]

But someone mark this down, this episode down. This is going to be the moment we knew Miles changed.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, I could have had my entire brain chemistry altered this weekend.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you were. Yeah. You are chemically altered.

[Ryan]

You have just went and slept in the guest bedroom.

[Miles]

That's why I was like, well, if you're worried about it, should we just go sleep in the guest bedroom? And it's a queen bed. She's like, no, I'm not sleep. Not in that queen bed.

[Ryan]

I'll sacrifice some brain cancer that bad.

[Miles]

That you can't sleep in a queen bed with me anymore.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That's just goes to show though, once you go king bed, you can't go back.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'm in a queen right now. Being a king in a couple weeks.

[Miles]

Slippery sl.

[Tyler]

Lifechanging for you.

[Ryan]

That's what I've heard. That's why. I mean, it's the. It's the bed that we sleep on at the lake. So I get, you know, like two, three times a month in the summer.

[Tyler]

So you've sampled it already?

[Miles]

Scratch.

[Ryan]

I've scratched the itch a little bit. Scratch the surface.

[Miles]

But yeah, can't go back. But anyways, we have a. As we said last week we had an announcement of an announcement.

[Tyler]

Several weeks we've been teasing the announcement.

[Miles]

Oh, wait, so this is the third announcement in a row, including this announcement.

[Jared]

The fourth announcement.

[Miles]

This is the fourth announcement.

[Jared]

It's gonna be. Well, you're announcing the announcement, so it's gonna be four after this in like 10 minutes.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's true. So I'm announcing again that we have an announcement on February 28, 2015 or 2025. 20.

[Ryan]

20. 2015.

[Tyler]

It happened already, guys.

[Jared]

Sorry.

[Miles]

February 28, 2025, we will be releasing the first ever Patrons Choice Awards.

[Tyler]

Hey.

[Miles]

Now, you're wondering, you've heard of the People's Choice Awards? It's gonna be very similar to that, but it's gonna be the Patrons Choice Awards, the PCAs, as we like to call them.

[Ryan]

Sure.

[Miles]

And you're wondering what is this gonna be? Well, the Grammys were on this last weekend. Be very similar to that.

[Tyler]

I'm showing up to the PCA's butt ass naked like Kanye's wife.

[Miles]

Yeah, there you go.

[Jared]

Not invited either.

[Tyler]

Y.

[Ryan]

Just his wife.

[Miles]

His wife, yeah. Just his wife. Yeah. I mean, there is no dress code, but there is a dress code. You know, it's. You can't wear what you're wearing today.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

I can't dress like a high school gym teacher.

[Miles]

So we don't have a red carpet. We do have some extra floor fake astroturf in the warehouse right now. So I think we'll be rolling out the green carpet, which would be kind of cool because you probably could edit green screen like us standing on lava.

[Tyler]

Yeah. A bed of coals. We're walking across a bed of coals.

[Miles]

So that's the one advantage of doing the green carpet instead of the red carpet. So there's. I mean, we're talking. There's going to be a host. There's going to be presenters of awards. There's gonna probably be. AI Musical guests. Hell, yeah.

[Ryan]

Hell, yeah.

[Miles]

There is shenanigans. There's gonna be shenanigans, Tom. Foolery. Tom will be there. Yeah, Tom. Mr. Foolery will be there. There will be awards acceptance speeches. There will be the whole thing. And what's cool is, if you are a patron, go to patreon.com radio and you are an active patron, you will get to vote on who wins these awards, and whatever the people say is who wins.

[Jared]

Yeah. Don't get mad at us.

[Miles]

Don't get mad at us.

[Tyler]

Your choice.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's the Patrons Choice Awards. So the announcement we're doing this week is next week, we will be starting to release the categories and nominees for each category. Do we have a category that we'd like to tease everyone with, starting right.

[Ryan]

Now, Sampler category is what we like to call that award industry.

[Miles]

In my mind, this is. This is one of the. The. What would you call it? Juggernaut categories. One of the big boys is Best Podcast Guest. And I believe we've settled on the nominees.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

Right, we. So the first category that we are releasing is Best. Why?

[Jared]

Our guest bet.

[Miles]

What is. What did I say?

[Tyler]

Best Podcast Guest.

[Miles]

Best Podcast Guest is the name of the category. The nominees are Dave Flops and Ryan's College Buddies.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

Oh, that's good.

[Tyler]

And Anne wasn't that Best Podcast Character. And then Best Podcast Guest was Anne, Charlie, and one other.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah, we got two, though.

[Ryan]

There's two teeth.

[Miles]

Sorry I mixed up the categories.

[Jared]

The very fluid situation.

[Miles]

The best Podcast Characters. Dave Flops.

[Tyler]

College Buddies.

[Miles]

College Buddies.

[Ryan]

My college buddies.

[Miles]

Best Podcast Guest. I guess we're releasing that one now, too.

[Jared]

Get two of them.

[Miles]

Charlie an.

[Jared]

And the H vac.

[Miles]

H vac guy.

[Jared]

From episode 260.

[Miles]

From episode 260. So those are the first two categories. Many more to follow, but those are the first two categories of the PCAs and the nominees. So will release all of the categories, all the nominees next week on Patreon, and then the week after that, voting starts.

[Jared]

Voting starts.

[Miles]

So we'll have a week to vote, and then it will be the PCAs.

[Jared]

Yep, PCAs.

[Ryan]

I'm going to have to get a subscription so I can go vote.

[Tyler]

Every vote matters.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And I'm not that I'm going to try and sway any of the audience by, you know, the banter that I have in the Patreon Forum, but there may be. There may be some.

[Miles]

Oh, I don't know that that means qualify. You have to come up with some rules. I guess I thought we were all gonna play fair.

[Ryan]

You won't know it's me, though, because I might have a burner.

[Miles]

That is true. So would that be funny if we all had burners?

[Tyler]

I. I had one who was just my name for a long time.

[Miles]

But anyways, excited for the PCAs.

[Tyler]

Just Tyler.

[Miles]

We're gonna have a green carpet. We're gonna, you know, we're. We're going to dress up for this guy. We're going to. We're going to. We're going to pull out all the stops.

[Ryan]

And so the presenters, they. There's more presenters than just like, who would be in the room right now. Is that correct?

[Jared]

We might play on that.

[Miles]

To be. To be. To be determined. Okay.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

Depends on how much we Prep.

[Ryan]

Let's prep it up, boys.

[Miles]

But, yeah, I'm excited about our musical guests that we got.

[Tyler]

Me too.

[Miles]

We.

[Ryan]

We could have Jake shining shoes in the corner, get our shoes shined before we hop on. Hop on Air.

[Tyler]

They do that.

[Ryan]

I don't know. They gotta be shining shoes.

[Jared]

Oh, they got the awards.

[Ryan]

You pull the guy from the mall. There's always a guy in the mall shining shoes. Pull him off duty for a bit. Or it's one of those cases where.

[Miles]

It'S like, hey, no idea is a bad idea. We'll write it down.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

It might not make it in, probably, but we'll write it down. Probably won't make it in, but we'll write it down.

[Ryan]

Yeah. One of those cases where you go up to him, you're like, hey, how much would I have to pay you right now to quit your job? Then we get them here.

[Miles]

Yeah, sure.

[Tyler]

All right.

[Ryan]

Have you seen those videos? Like, I'll give you a thousand dollars right now if you quit your job. And some people are like, okay, done. So I don't know where the thousand dollars is going to come with. Maybe a pipe dream of mine, but we'll keep dreaming.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Jared]

Give you 500 tongs.

[Miles]

No, they're.

[Ryan]

They're gone.

[Miles]

Jarrett, do we have any other things you'd like to announce, Jared with the PCAs at this moment?

[Jared]

Should be fun.

[Miles]

Should be fun. It's going to be a great event. It'll be the premier event of the year for sure.

[Tyler]

I've been looking forward to this for three weeks now.

[Miles]

And some of the categories and nominees. The first PCAs will probably be the his. That could be the full history of YBR. We'll be losing usually. Yeah, it's. There's not a lot of rules.

[Jared]

The inaugural.

[Miles]

So if we forget that one of the nominees happened two years ago, we'll just get over it.

[Jared]

Or four or five years ago.

[Miles]

But then after that, if it goes well, we do it again. Then we'll go yearly. How's that sound?

[Jared]

Second annual.

[Miles]

So I think it's gonna be fun. Again, it's going to be exclusively on Patreon, so if you wanna get a part of the PCAs, you gotta head over to patreon.com you bet. You radio or download the app and search us up.

[Jared]

Yep. You do a seven day free trial as well.

[Ryan]

Time to binge.

[Miles]

Binge. Plus we got all the other episodes on there. Hundreds, hundreds and hundreds of episodes. So I think it's gonna be really fun. It's actually one of the I like, I'm. I'm really excited about this. It's been not a long time, but of our newer ideas at this company, it's one on one. I'm pretty excited about.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

I'm pretty excited about the. The Patrons Choice Awards, so. Be fun, guys.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

You got any pre show things you'd like to talk about, Ryan?

[Ryan]

No, I'm just looking forward to when the dress code comes out.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Who.

[Jared]

Who you gonna wear?

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

Well, Kanye's wife. I mean, it's not just exclusive to females, is it? You said you can't. I can't wear what I'm wearing now, so I don't know her. Her attire really stands. Actually, I might go with tailored up and then, you know, maybe give a quick plug to whoever's tailoring me. I feel like celebrities do that.

[Miles]

That's what I saying. What are you wearing?

[Tyler]

Who you wearing?

[Miles]

Who are you wearing?

[Tyler]

Oh, I don't know. Probably that's when you say the designer name.

[Ryan]

Probably like Tommy Hilfiger or some iconic name like that.

[Miles]

What.

[Ryan]

What is Gilden.

[Miles]

What's the brand at flea farm? That's like forest something.

[Tyler]

Oh, God.

[Miles]

Forest.

[Tyler]

Forest and Field.

[Ryan]

Gomp.

[Tyler]

Field and Forest.

[Ryan]

Field and Forest.

[Jared]

Forest Griffin.

[Tyler]

I think that might be it.

[Miles]

Field and Forest and Forest.

[Ryan]

I got a couple. I got a couple.

[Miles]

I might be wearing Field and forest. That might be who might be styling me. But again, still undecided.

[Jared]

Yeah, got three.

[Miles]

I gotta see if my field of forest Taylor is available. Yeah, really well determined. Tyler, any words?

[Tyler]

No, I'm just. I'm excited. I am very excited. I'm already working on some acceptance speeches.

[Miles]

Oh, wow.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So.

[Ryan]

Oh, so you already think you're going to get awards?

[Tyler]

Well, we'll see. I don't even know if I'm nominated yet. But you can't be too far ahead of it. So I've got some accept. I'll just insert award here. You know, just get a blanket one ready to go.

[Miles]

And I think what I would like to just get out in the public here right now so that you guys can't convince me otherwise. I think if you are a presenter, you have to read whatever's on the teleprompter.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

It's about what Michael Shea and Colin on essence.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

When they write each other's lines. I think whoever is presenting you have to read what's on the teleprompter.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Anchorman style.

[Miles]

A little bit correct. And so that could. That's a fun little wrinkle. So you know, each one of us are going to have to present an award and the other guys get to write what they say. Well before presenting it.

[Ryan]

Okay. Is our podium. We're going to have a podium.

[Miles]

It's. It's loose. It's. It's. It's still fluid situation. Ryan, the stool looks pretty nice.

[Tyler]

It does.

[Miles]

Going to be honest, it's already in here, so that's helpful. But yeah, I mean, this could be perfect. We got a green screen right over here. Yep. Little chair could be good.

[Ryan]

Hell yeah. This is the first time I'm learning of the Patron's Choice Awards. So. Yeah, my brain is. It's running wild right now.

[Miles]

So you're going to have to tune in February 28th. It's not a leap year, right?

[Jared]

I don't think so. I think it was last year.

[Ryan]

No, last year was a leap year.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah. Cuz he gave you one more day to lose 3 ounces a day.

[Miles]

This could be. Yeah, I guess it's the last. Is it just now the last Friday of every February.

[Jared]

I think the Friday before the Oscars.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Jared]

How we originally planned it.

[Miles]

Okay. Yeah. Because, I mean, the Oscars after the PCA is going to be like a postcard from Paris. When you've seen the real thing.

[Jared]

People, like, watch the Pro Bowl.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Which. That's a whole topic of conversation. The Pro bowl, is it. I turned it on. That's tough.

[Tyler]

Why are we even doing it anymore?

[Miles]

I just.

[Tyler]

Just give them the award. Congrats, you made the Pro Bowl.

[Miles]

Like, I would rather have them. Like, I like the dodgeball and stuff like that. Like, just don't even have them play football at all because the, the them playing football, it's just. It feels like it's icky to watch.

[Jared]

It's like a scrimmage.

[Miles]

It's like they just clearly don't care and don't want to be doing this. At least I felt like when they played like dodgeball and stuff, I don't know if they did that this year, but I've seen them do it before. I feel like the guys were kind of into it because it's just like gym class.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Let's just make it competitive. Gym class. The best athletes in the world climb rope, you know, play kickball. Like, that would be electric.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

Someone pulls a groin.

[Miles]

It's true. That can happen.

[Ryan]

That can happen.

[Miles]

That'd be funny. Too many groins pulled in the kickball competition. They have to cancel that.

[Tyler]

We all watch it. Every time someone pulls a groin Ryan. She's like, see, I knew it.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Under his breath. I knew it.

[Miles]

I knew it.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, athletes are prone to groin injuries and kickball. I'm one of them.

[Miles]

So it's. Yeah. So I. That's my take on it. Let's just. I don't know. When you give us a worse football product, that's it. It leaves bad taste in my mouth. Know, tug of war is kind of funny. They did that this year. What, like, give me some stuff like that.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Maybe make them. We used to call it Star wars back in the day, where you slide around on the little flat carts that you'd always jam your fingers in. Sure. You know what I'm talking about. And one person would have a noodle, and they were the Jedi, and it was like dodgeball on scooters. And you would have to. You'd be frozen if you got hit by a ball. And then the way that you got unfrozen is the Jedi would hit you with the thing.

[Tyler]

Your gym teacher was innovative.

[Miles]

It was. It was pretty sick.

[Ryan]

Way better than your pottery teacher.

[Tyler]

Yeah. No kidding.

[Miles]

And so if everyone got frozen, then. Then your team lost. I'd like to see NFL players play Star wars on little scooters.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And foam Jedi lightsabers.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Or Red Rover. That'd be a good one.

[Miles]

That would be intense.

[Tyler]

Yeah. It would finally give offensive lineman something to do.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Can you imagine the largest offensive tackle in the country, just full sprint at you and a guy, linked arms, 300.

[Tyler]

Pounds, 4:9 speed, just ripping at you. Yeah.

[Ryan]

We'd have a lot of torn labrums in that game.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Or a hide and seek would be cool. Like in a really creepy house.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Or even if they did a tag.

[Jared]

Tag.

[Miles]

Floor is lava. Like, I want to see. Yeah. I want to see NFL guys play. Floor is lava.

[Tyler]

That'd be electoral lava. And like, one of those gymnastic things that have all the foam things you can jump on, so they're just eating themselves off of stuff. Yeah.

[Jared]

A lot of growing.

[Miles]

I. I want to see him play slam ball.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

That would be sweet, because all the.

[Miles]

People that were playing slam ball were all just like, D3 athletes from Jamestown. Imagine if you got some real talent out there on the court.

[Jared]

He didn't point out. You ride.

[Miles]

I was going like this. Like, kind of just like the world of James. The world.

[Tyler]

Like the Colony. Right.

[Miles]

I just went like this.

[Ryan]

We're D2 now, you guys. We. I mean, we've always mentally been.

[Miles]

I will give you that.

[Ryan]

But like that. That's a fact that they're D2 now. It's not just like. Yeah, that's. That's how good we were. You know, it's so.

[Miles]

So anyways. Yeah. Excited. Just talk about it all day.

[Tyler]

Me too.

[Miles]

Oh, wait. Oh, we were talking about the NFL Pro Bowl. That's my take. Jared, you're the NFL guy. Do you have any other take?

[Jared]

Yeah, it's just that flag football just doesn't cut it if there's no contact involved. I even, like, invite defensive players there, offensive linemen. It's got to be like, all inclusive to, like, everybody playing. And the 7 on 7 just doesn't cut it.

[Miles]

Yeah, I agree.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Unless they completely flip it, they continue to do it. Seven on seven flag football. But only the lineman gets.

[Jared]

Yeah, you have to play out of position would be cool.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

See?

[Tyler]

So the left tackles are your wide receiver.

[Miles]

Why are we not hired to fix the NFL? You should talk on another podcast, how to fix the NBA.

[Jared]

But anyways, they should play football in the NBA.

[Miles]

Yeah. At least. Yeah. Anyways, so first segment today. What are the subtle signs someone's a dick? First segment of the day, baby. What are subtle signs that someone is a dick? I think that a subtle sign that someone's a dick is kind of talking about basketball. If you're playing a pickup game of basketball and it's call your own foul. And they call fouls on ticky, tacky stuff, that person is a. It's call your own fouls. And unless someone literally decapitates you and you call foul, you're an absolute dick.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I think they were maybe baby. Babied as a child too. A little bit too much small man syndrome, maybe.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Someone who's never really had any, like, control in life and they want to take. Try and take control of the game. Noon ball game. So they're, you know, them calling fouls is their way of gaining that.

[Jared]

Right? No blood, no foul.

[Ryan]

Right? Yeah.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. I'm all for a no blood, no foul game. And then when the guy steps in that calls every foul the worst, he's a dick.

[Ryan]

And they probably didn't even like, they. They probably didn't even play, like, high school basketball.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Oh, no.

[Ryan]

But now, Now's their time to shine, right? Now is when they're a starter at noon ball, whereas they're. They weren't even going to make the team in high school or.

[Miles]

And. And they always do the thing, too. They go on for a layup and they wait to see if they made it and then call the foul. You know what I mean?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

They miss it and then they're like, oh, that was a foul. Take it back.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I think, I think to piggyback on that too. They're always the guy saying, and one and one. Just a clear lane to the hoop and they don't even get touched or.

[Jared]

They don't know how to do a layup. So they like jump stop and then.

[Miles]

Do old school basketball.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

They don't go through. Love their pivot foot. They love the triple threat position as well, because from here you can dribble, you can pass or you can triple threat, baby.

[Ryan]

They also love letting the entire city know that the ball is currently dead.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I think another telltale sign of this guy, he's also wearing a, like a jersey from Old Navy that has nothing on the front, but it's like. It's like kind of a fancy jersey. Know what I mean?

[Jared]

It's kind of generic.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's not just like a mesh jersey with like the thin straps. It's like a wider strap and it's got like a collar on it and it's like navy blue and there's stripes down the side. And you know what? You know what jersey I'm talking about? They wear it every day to noon ball, call the every foul. That guy's a dick.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You throw a little embroidery on the front of that. You think the guy is like, you know, he's on all star break or something from the NBA. Right.

[Jared]

He's wearing a headband for some reason. He's ball bald.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I have that image.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah, this guy's definitely bald. He's got.

[Ryan]

Yeah. He's got multiple bands. Sweat bands on too. Whether it's headband, finger band.

[Jared]

It's got his own water bottle.

[Ryan]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Tyler]

I have not played a lot of pickup basketball in my life. But the guy you're describing is also another subtle sign someone's a dick. Slow pitch softball. The guy that brings all the bats is always a dick.

[Miles]

Really?

[Tyler]

He's the guy that's calling everyone on the rules, tweaking out about he. He always wants to coach third base. And it's. It's always the guy that owns all the bats.

[Miles]

Yeah. Because he's. What? He's probably the captain of the team.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Or if he's not, he's.

[Miles]

He's the one that got the sponsor on board and y. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's.

[Ryan]

He's the one telling guys to get down at third. Yeah. He's going to be a close play. The guy you're, you're like 21 year old buddies wearing shorts and a T shirt. Want him to get down outside. Get down, get down.

[Tyler]

He's. He's in the refs or the ump's nose in slow pitch softball. Like buddy, sit the down.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. He's the reason benches are clearing. Yeah, for sure. I've never really played slow pitch softball, so I don't know.

[Tyler]

Yeah, sorry, I just. You guys were describing this dude. I'm like, this is. I've seen this guy in softball a million times.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

All right guys, it is the last week of the NFL season. And so therefore it is the last week we can put some lineups in on prize picks for the NFL. And guys, if right now you sign up with code ybr, you get fifty dollars instantly when you play your first five dollar lineup. You don't need to win the lineup to receive the $50 bonus. It's guaranteed. What better way on the big game than to get your $50 bonus? Gee, use code YBR. So guys, we decided this week we're gonna. We did a serious lineup last week. We're gonna do a YBR Silly four lineup here for you guys. And no one got more silly than Tyler.

[Tyler]

It's not that silly. Jalen Carter more than a quarter of a sack.

[Miles]

So you just gotta get a half a sack, guys.

[Tyler]

Him and a buddy take down my homes. We're riding home with our money.

[Miles]

Okay, so we got that Jared.

[Jared]

Hollywood Brown more than half a touchdown. Rushing, receiving.

[Miles]

Okay. Think he's gonna do it?

[Jared]

Absolutely.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

He just needs 0.6 touchdowns.

[Tyler]

That's it.

[Ryan]

Same with Kareem Hunt.

[Miles]

Points.

[Ryan]

Who is my pick? I got Kareem hunt. More than 0.5 touchdowns. That's a Red Devil.

[Miles]

Yeah, we got all Red Devils on this one. I also have Jalen Hurts throwing interception.

[Jared]

Love that pick.

[Miles]

I. I can't. Couldn't believe that was a Red Devil.

[Tyler]

Yeah, homie never throws the ball.

[Miles]

It's true.

[Tyler]

But he's going to be. He's going to be slinging it on the bull. Series 1 Eagles are going to throw a pick. Series 2. Mahomes is going to get sacked on the second. Second down of the first possession by Jaylen Carter. And then eventually Hollywood Brown and Cream Hunter score.

[Miles]

Yeah, they'll each get 06 touchdowns.

[Jared]

I'll meet at the bar to celebrate.

[Miles]

Yeah, right off into the sunset on the season.

[Jared]

Exactly.

[Miles]

So guys, if you want to ride with us, Jalen Carter needs a Half a sack. Kareem hunt. More than 0.5. Russia receiving touchdowns. Same with Hollywood Brown. Jalen hurts, needs to throw a pick.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah. And the Mahomes free square. Patrick.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Patrick only needs to throw for one yard.

[Jared]

One yard.

[Miles]

He needs one yard. If you haven't used up all of the money you could spend on the free square, you got another week to do it. It's a free square.

[Tyler]

It's free square. Free money.

[Miles]

If you don't use the free square, you are a square.

[Tyler]

Oh, I like that.

[Ryan]

Boom.

[Miles]

So, guys, go sign up price picks. Use code ybr. This is our. This is our week.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it is. Two for two in lineups. Come on now, boys.

[Miles]

Two lineups in a hot. Oh, my.

[Ryan]

A subtle sign that somebody is a dick is if they treat your dog like or like an animal. For that. For that. For that fact.

[Miles]

Like, what's treating it like a dick? Because this is subtle sign. So he's clearly not outwardly being mean, because that would not.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I think it's more so. I think it's more so like, maybe nudging the dog away or like, you know, like. Like pushing its face to the side if, like, tries to get a little bit too close or like, is trying to get out of the way because the dog wants to rub up on him and. And get hair.

[Jared]

Maybe they're allergic.

[Ryan]

Yeah. But when it comes to like, like, I got a doodle and they're hypoallergenic. So if someone's trying to get away.

[Miles]

From my dog, then I know, which everyone knows that. Especially if they're not dog people. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And they should, you know, because it's one dog you don't want to be a dick to. Is a doodle.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's a lot.

[Ryan]

I mean, I think there's just something to say about people who don't treat animals. Right.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I feel the happiest A homicidal triad, isn't it? One of them is cruelty to animals.

[Tyler]

Yes.

[Ryan]

What's the. I've never heard three.

[Tyler]

Three signs that someone could be a serial killer.

[Miles]

One of them. One of them. I think one of them is their bed wetter.

[Tyler]

Yeah. One of them super obscure that they wet the bed.

[Miles]

The other one is that they're cruel to animals. And then I don't remember the last one.

[Jared]

They murder.

[Ryan]

Okay. I misread the segment. Thought this was subtle signs of serial killers. Sorry.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean.

[Jared]

I mean, serial killers are dick.

[Miles]

So what does it say? Is that what it is? A homicide triad? Is that what it's called.

[Tyler]

Yep, it is. Yeah. The McDonald triad or the homicidal triad. It is being cruel or abusive to animals, especially pets, setting fire to objects or otherwise committing minor acts of arson and regularly wetting the bed.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Weird, weirdest things almost on a triad. Sounds like a type of mud run or something.

[Ryan]

Yeah, like a 5K. Yeah, like 5K obstacle course race.

[Miles]

You've heard of the mud run? You've heard of the spartan race. Welcome to the homicidal triad, where you have to run on knife blades, you have to jump from a building with.

[Jared]

No parachute, and you gotta piss out of that and.

[Miles]

And you gotta go 24 hours without pissing the bed. Homicidal triad. Sign up now. If you do win, you win it, you get a little medal and a Michelob Ultra.

[Ryan]

Oh, that's good. Sign me up.

[Jared]

I'm drinking no water before this.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah, I'm. Because I got a gallon of water. Can't piss. Probably poisoning myself from inside out.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So, yeah, it's like you. If you did like a outdoorsman type of thing, like one of them be starting a fire. It's like there's a fine line between outdoorsman's challenges and the homicidal trial.

[Tyler]

You got to kill this animal to survive. You. You have to start a fire to survive. And if he's. So if the homicidal triad for outdoorsman is. If they piss their pants, they're a serial killer because you can't tell otherwise.

[Miles]

Yeah, they just do this outdoorsman ch Channel to try and, you know, find out who could be a potential.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

The cops come busting into their tent, you're under arrest.

[Tyler]

What I do? You wet the sleeping bag.

[Jared]

You lost, kid. Getting hold off to jail.

[Miles]

It's Mr. Beast's next beast game.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Triad games.

[Tyler]

Another subtle sign you're a dick. If you don't round up the 10 cents or whatever it is for charity, you're. You're.

[Miles]

You're gonna be a. I did do that over the weekend. I had to buy some paint. It was 10 cents. I did it. I don't do it every time.

[Tyler]

Why?

[Miles]

Sometimes it's like 97 cents, but it. It's also like, you don't know where this is going. That's wild ethic, too. It's not that I don't care about these people. I donate to charities, whatever. I just. I don't know. It seems like. I don't know.

[Tyler]

I just think.

[Miles]

You never know. I do at Firehouse Subs, though. I do round up.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Cuz. You know where it goes then.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's what they tell you. You don't get any proof it's true. You don't get any proof anywhere, really.

[Miles]

I. I'm about a 50.50shot on whether I'm doing it. It also depends on my mood.

[Tyler]

I'm. I'm.

[Miles]

I'll throw my hand up. Is that correct? I don't know. Does that make me a dick? Maybe it does.

[Tyler]

You could be a subtle dick.

[Ryan]

I haven't rounded up for like four or five years. I just. I stopped. I stopped doing that.

[Tyler]

Really.

[Jared]

It depends on what business it is.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's like. Like, it's like Walmart Panda Express. You want to round up whatever.

[Tyler]

I'm like, no, that goes to Sanford's Children's Hospital.

[Miles]

Which one?

[Tyler]

Panda Express.

[Miles]

Oh, Jesus. Right.

[Ryan]

Well, I mean, how many Sanford hospitals are there, though?

[Tyler]

There's one. Sanford's Children's Hospital.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I get that. And. But in my mind, I would rather just donate directly to the charity or like, I. I like smaller charities, like small community charities for, you know, the kid. Like the toy drive for the. The kid who maybe passed away of cancer or something. Like.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And I have more of a personal connection to.

[Tyler]

I get that for like a nice lump sum of money. I don't get it for 55 cents. Like, you can throw 55.

[Ryan]

I just don't. I don't know where it's going.

[Miles]

You're right. You're right. I shouldn't be a 50, 50 guy.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I should be 100% guy.

[Tyler]

I. I'm actually amazed you got all three of you are on the fence about this.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, I think it's also gotten a little out of control. Every time you check out, there's someone trying to round up.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You know, at every place you go. Which maybe that's a good thing and maybe I need to stop being such a dick and just say yes every time.

[Jared]

100 of the time.

[Miles]

100 of the time. So that's. That's good, Tyler. You're calling me on my here awareness.

[Ryan]

So you round up every time.

[Tyler]

Every single time.

[Ryan]

Where, like, where. Where are the. Where's the place that you freaking the most that's round?

[Tyler]

The Boys and Girls Club. I bought a palm sander there on Sunday, rounded up to the nearest dollar for the Boys and Girls Club.

[Jared]

That makes sense.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but like. But I'll do it at Panda Express.

[Ryan]

Every time you're shopping at the Boys and Girls Club.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's a thrift store. I buy So a sander, whatever.

[Ryan]

If you just. But if you buy something from the Boys and Girls Club, that that money goes to the boys.

[Tyler]

The Boys and Girls Club is different than the Boys and Girls Club thrift store. The thrift store is owned by the charity. So the money just goes then to their charity and it helps boys and girls and that are like free child care. Free. Like that.

[Ryan]

Yep, yep.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, you could go all day. I mean, it's just. At what point though, does you donate to charity? Around every single corner.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You know, plus if you do it directly to, you get a tax. Tax deduction.

[Miles]

I was saying I gotta have the receipt and then I gotta get to the accountants and I gotta deduct it. It's a whole thing.

[Jared]

It's a whole thing.

[Miles]

Yeah. I wonder if they'd have more success if it was just like, do you want to donate a dollar?

[Tyler]

So some places do that. They give you like the local grocery store. Hornbackers is like, do you want to donate 1, 2, or $3 and they'll give you an option or whatever charity they're promoting that month.

[Ryan]

Why don't, like, let's say it's Subway. Okay. Or Panic? Why don't they just like give like X amount of cents per order? Like, why are they putting it, putting it all on us? Why don't they do something?

[Miles]

Maybe some places do match. I think firehouse matches or something.

[Tyler]

Because I think it's something where like, you can't, like, let's say I go and buy a sub from Subway and then Subway takes my money and gives it to a charity. I don't want. Like, I can get mad at them for that being like, I didn't want my money to go to this.

[Miles]

So they can't do it per item, but they can as a company, as a whole donate.

[Tyler]

Yes.

[Miles]

Got it.

[Tyler]

Because it's not. If it's part of a transaction, it's my money that they're donating. And yeah, I didn't want my money to do that.

[Miles]

I would say that you're right. I. I easily should just be rounding up every time. I wouldn't say that. That I would blanket all of me, Ryan and Jared as.

[Tyler]

No, I wouldn't either. So I'm second guessing my thing because. But if I was like, at the checkout with you and I saw you, like, I didn't know you, and you're like, would you like to round up 24 cents for the kids? And you were like, no, I'd have been like, that guy I think it also.

[Miles]

There's an aspect of that. It doesn't even, like, feel like it's doing anything either, you know?

[Tyler]

See, that's the reason I do it, because it feels like it's not doing anything to my bank account.

[Miles]

No, I mean, it's like, do anything.

[Ryan]

For the charity is what he's.

[Tyler]

I know. I'm saying both sides.

[Miles]

Yeah. I don't know. It's a great question, I guess, about society. I think it's, like, bleeding a little bit into, like, tipping culture.

[Jared]

For sure.

[Miles]

People are starting to get exhausted from tipping culture. I think there's somewhat of an exhaustion of people trying to get your money at any point now, if you scrape away that you go $0.24 for the. For the kids. Yeah. Probably should do it.

[Jared]

I agree.

[Miles]

I think a subtle sign someone's dick is if they just leave their shopping cart in an open parking spot and don't like. I'm not saying you gotta walk it back to the store, but just put it in one of the contained areas.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

There's like a famous essay that's like. That is the truest litmus test if a person is a good person.

[Miles]

Now there. It's not a. It's not a. A blanketed statement here. There is one scenario where it is okay to do that.

[Jared]

We gotta take a.

[Miles]

You guys ship out. You gotta ship ad. All human decency is allowed to go out the window on my mind. I just. I think that it's like in every single time, like, we. Me and Anne are out somewhere, we see someone moving pretty quickly. We. To each other, we're like, that guy's got a bad. Get out of his way. Do you want this running down his leg?

[Ryan]

Hey, you roll your window, you're like, hey, buddy, I'll put your card away for you.

[Tyler]

Go, go, go, go, go. Get in there, get in there.

[Miles]

100.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Straight for about 50 yards, hang a left.

[Tyler]

And you know, it had to have hit them in the moment too, because they were just in a store that they could have in the whole time.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It's maybe borderline in the store now. It's like, wow. I like.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's a very small time. It's okay. It's okay.

[Jared]

It's okay.

[Miles]

If you guys bad, leave that cart wherever it is.

[Ryan]

Yeah. At least, like, throw a rock. Like, lock the tire.

[Miles]

Yeah. Like, if it's windy out, make sure you, like, prop it up.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Or late. Yeah. Lay it off to the side.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So it's not gonna lay it down. Yeah, we don't want to be damaging other people's property either, you know?

[Miles]

True. Have you ever seen the videos?

[Ryan]

We're damaging the cards.

[Miles]

But even the carts that are in the cart collection area, when it's super windy and the cars just go barreling across and hitting cars.

[Ryan]

Oh, dude.

[Miles]

Stresses me out.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Would I like to watch it from a distance?

[Miles]

Yes.

[Ryan]

Yes, I would.

[Miles]

I'd. I. I'd maybe like do the baseball jog until one hit a car and then I'd sprint to stop the rest for sure.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It's like when you drop a receipt outside of a store or something. Like, do that run for about 20 yards. If I can't catch it, then I ain't gonna catch it.

[Jared]

That's 20 yards your limit for that?

[Ryan]

Probably.

[Tyler]

That's still pretty long. I might. I'm going two swipes at it and it's gone.

[Ryan]

Oh, I'm not even swiping. I'm stepping.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

I'm gonna step on that receipt.

[Miles]

It all depends on what. Yeah. If it's a receipt, I'm gonna try twice to pick it up. If it's like my hat, though, I'm. I'm committed.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you do it. Okay.

[Miles]

I might be doing baseball. Slide into third base for a hat.

[Tyler]

Get down.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's a different story. You should have seen the other day. You know those laundry bin deals we put. We put packages into? So I was throwing garbage away. I had a bunch of. I had like garbage bags inside there. I was throwing them in the garbage and the wind took one of those bins, like towards the shipping container. And I had to run after that for like four. The 40 yards. And I wish you guys could have saw me run after because it was one of them. Maybe.

[Miles]

Yeah, we might have to pull that up.

[Ryan]

I. I have to remember. Remember what day it was. But yeah, I was, I was like, is anyone watching me back there?

[Miles]

There's just no cool way to try and catch something in the.

[Tyler]

No, but for a hat, it's gotta like blow across the highway for me.

[Miles]

Not to get correct. It's like. And then it's always when you grab it and then you do the we awkward look around. Like, did anyone see it?

[Ryan]

That's what I was doing. I'm like, there's nobody around here.

[Jared]

Everyone goes through it, though.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah. Mine is when you're at a restaurant and you get a pizza and it's cut in squares and the person gets. Just grabs the crust around it doesn't grab a middle piece.

[Tyler]

So you Miles, are you learning?

[Miles]

I've. I've said I'm a dick. I'll throw my hand. Second podcast in a row. I'll throw my hand up. I could be a little bit dick. You see how I talk to Ryan and Tyler? You know, I. I will eat a middle piece, but I. If there's. If there's edge pieces there, I'm taking them. I.

[Jared]

But it's a one to one ratio.

[Tyler]

My internal moral compass is just one crust piece, and then I will eat middle pieces. The rest.

[Miles]

Really? Yeah, that. I mean, it sounds terrible.

[Tyler]

I mean, if it's. If. Especially if it's a big group of people, I feel like I'm only owed one crust piece.

[Jared]

Yeah, see, I think it's a 1:1 ratio.

[Ryan]

I do eat multiple crust pieces, but I'll never reach over a piece of pizza, one of the pieces, to get a crust piece. So I think pretty much everything on my side is like, free game for crust pieces, you know?

[Miles]

Yeah. And you feel it out.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

If you get the teeny, tiny little crust piece that has one bite of pizza on it that don't, obviously, that. That doesn't count.

[Ryan]

That's a dog slut for those. Me too. But it doesn't.

[Miles]

I would. I would eat all four of those right at the get. I love those because I love bread.

[Tyler]

I was just gonna say those are just breadsticks.

[Miles]

Honestly, you just screw up pizza by putting sauce and cheese on it. Like, just give me breadsticks.

[Tyler]

Just go to the store, just buy a bunch of pizza crusts and just make them.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's like the amount of times in my life I've gotten breadsticks with pizza and then eaten one and a half slates of pizza because I filled up on breadsticks. Yeah. I can't count how many times.

[Ryan]

Yeah, no, I'm with you.

[Miles]

So, yeah. Hey, I may be a dick, but I just. I love crust so much.

[Tyler]

Okay, I got, I got another one. And I don't have any evidence to back this up, but I think I'm right. I think a subtle sign that you're a dick is if you drink Code Red Mountain Dew and you're not a construction worker.

[Jared]

I like Code Red, Jer.

[Tyler]

You're dick, dude.

[Miles]

I think dick is the wrong word.

[Tyler]

I just. I, I know one per. Well, now I know two. I just know one person that does this, and he's a dick.

[Miles]

Yeah, I, I, I don't know if I can co sign that or not.

[Tyler]

Okay, Okay. I just, I did preface it I don't have any facts.

[Miles]

Explain it more.

[Tyler]

I just.

[Miles]

What makes them a dick?

[Tyler]

They're drinking cold red and they're not construction where I have no fat. It's a gut feeling. It's a. If I see it, I'm like, they're a dick.

[Ryan]

Do you think dick's the correct word?

[Tyler]

Yeah, I think. Yeah.

[Miles]

I, I, you know, I would maybe go less dicky and more dweeby. I was gonna say I think gamers are like people drinking code red that aren't construction workers.

[Tyler]

Okay. Because I feel like more like nerdier.

[Miles]

Like dweeby type of behavior because I.

[Tyler]

Feel like it's like wannabe construction workers. Like somebody that wants the status of working hard but doesn't.

[Miles]

Yeah, I don't know if I could co sign that one, Tyler. I don't know if I'm in on that.

[Tyler]

It just. And it's. It's mostly a gut feeling.

[Miles]

You know, subtle sign someone's a dick is they try and force their gut feelings on everyone. I gotta start making you guys sound worse. The segment's really been bad on me.

[Ryan]

I got another subtle sign that someone's a dick. And that being if you're at the. If you're at a. At a public gym and you leave a, like a sweat towel on a piece of equipment to claim it, and then you're just gonna go off to another piece of equipment and do your exercises.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's.

[Ryan]

That's you. You can leave. That's what I'll say to that.

[Tyler]

You're spot on. Like what I was technically. So when I worked at Planet Fitness, I was supposed to ring the lunk alarm on people that did that.

[Ryan]

Really?

[Tyler]

I never rang that thing. I was too scared.

[Miles]

Really?

[Tyler]

Yeah, you got.

[Miles]

You didn't even, like, you weren't curious.

[Tyler]

I totally did it after hours. I never did it to anyone that was in the building. Except for one guy who was doing a tick tock that wanted me to ring it on him for his video.

[Ryan]

No way.

[Miles]

Then I said it, and I wouldn't have done it.

[Tyler]

Yeah. That's the only time I ever rang it on a person. But you're. There's people did that all the time and nobody liked them.

[Ryan]

No, they're. They're the worst species of gym goers out there. Yeah. It got to a bite. Like, it got so frustrating. At one point I like, I would just start using that piece of equipment. And then if they confronted me, I was like, well, I saw you were using that piece. Piece of equipment over There. So I just.

[Miles]

I'd just be like, I just thought someone forgot their towel.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, I was just gonna. I was gonna work in. Whatever. You weren't here.

[Tyler]

I didn't know towels could lift legs. Sorry. I'm on your machine.

[Ryan]

Yeah, Yeah. I didn't know we do biceps in the squat rack.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But, you know, I. I understand what you try to do with the towel, but if you would have just came up to me and just said, quack, quack, seat back, I would have. That have been fine with me.

[Tyler]

Yeah. If you would have just stood next to this machine and quacked as loud as you could, I would have not even touched this.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And I asked everyone around here. You didn't say, quack, quack, spot back.

[Miles]

So quack, quack, squat rack. Dude, what the hell, man? I quack, quack, squat rack that.

[Ryan]

I. Eight sets left.

[Miles]

That is crazy to just act like you own the whole gym.

[Ryan]

It's annoying. And like, oh, you're big.

[Miles]

You're.

[Ryan]

You got. You're jacked. Whatever. Like, I don't give a.

[Jared]

What are you guys thoughts, like, on the loud grunters at the gym when they're lifting?

[Tyler]

I fine with that.

[Miles]

I think it's fine.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You. I also come from. All we did was grunt, you know?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I mean, I, I. My public working out was in a football team setting, and, I mean, you got some dudes grunting.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I think as long as it's like, a natural grunt.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Clearly not someone trying to get attention.

[Miles]

We had one guy, he was strong as. So, like, this guy, he was squatting a lot of weight, and so I didn't. It had to have been £450 or something. He's repping it out. Maybe it's even more than that. This guy was a freak. He gets it off. He's kind of an idiot, though. He gets it off and he just goes lightweight. It goes down and does it. One lightweight. He goes down. Like, wait. Goes down. He's supposed to do five reps, and he failed on the fourth rep. Oh, no. God.

[Ryan]

It wasn't.

[Miles]

So if you're yelling stuff like that or, like, over. If you're just like, I think that's fine.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

But if you're like, headphone warning, by.

[Tyler]

The way, you guys are doing warnings ahead of time.

[Miles]

I just can't remember. My brain works too fast. I mean, then come on, let's ring the lunk alarm or whatever. Hunk alarm?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Is that a hunk or a lung lunk?

[Miles]

Oh, really?

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

And People like. Like people grunt while they're taking a dump too. So it's like, there's no difference with that than actually, like, lift a heavy weight.

[Jared]

Totally.

[Miles]

You know, you imagine, like, the opposite. Just like a guy. Like.

[Tyler]

Headphone warning again. Actually, you're gonna want headphones for that.

[Miles]

Especially if you're headphone warning. Put them back in. One, two. That would. I think I'd rather have the guy.

[Tyler]

Yelling, yeah, I'd rather hear lightweight again than that.

[Ryan]

That'd be much less uncomfortable. But in the gym, they say get comfortable being uncomfortable, so.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Jared]

That's a good point.

[Miles]

Yeah. Not only physically should you be uncomfortable, you should mentally be and emotionally be uncomfortable.

[Ryan]

That is true.

[Miles]

Lightweight right there.

[Tyler]

So my wife did when she was giving birth.

[Miles]

I don't.

[Tyler]

Over and over.

[Miles]

Tyler, don't give us any more details about your wife during birth.

[Ryan]

Hey, Comfortable being uncomfortable. Get used to it, you know?

[Miles]

Oh, man. So, yeah, there's some subtle signs, guys, that people are dicks. Turns out I'm a bigger dick than. Well, I. I mean, I do. I could be a dick. I'll admit it. Throw my hand up. This is. This is the year of the accountability for me on this podcast.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Miles]

I was wrong about the H Vac guy, and I'm kind of a dick sometimes.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I don't. I don't think if you've listened to this podcast for the last 100 episodes. I don't think anyone's, like, shocked at that. I don't think anyone's like, what? He's been putting up this facade.

[Jared]

That's a good guy. Good ones.

[Tyler]

Subtle sides of your dick are ripping trades people for problems you created.

[Ryan]

Yeah. We were just ripping the wrong people. That. That was the thing. It's the engineer's fault.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's true.

[Ryan]

We could have just had a conversation with the H Vac guy. We would have found out. We should have been ripping the engineers.

[Jared]

It was the pencil deck nerds fault.

[Ryan]

Yeah. The pencil pushers.

[Miles]

All those code red drinkers.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

All.

[Ryan]

All those pencil pushers who don't have a single scuff on their hard hat.

[Miles]

Yeah. Don't even have a hard hat.

[Jared]

Callous.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

They're the guys who are. Who have the blueprints laid out on the hood of a pickup with hard hats on in a pose for their.

[Tyler]

Picture and roll the blueprint back up.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Pointedly.

[Ryan]

God.

[Miles]

Classic. Classic.

[Ryan]

Like, I don't even know if I'd call my. The general contractor building my place. I don't Even know if I call him, like, blue collar, like, in the mud type of guy, because he just subs everything out his pencil pusher.

[Tyler]

Yes. You're not in the house yet.

[Ryan]

Next time I see you, I'm gonna get away.

[Miles]

Done.

[Jared]

Why is my house not insult?

[Ryan]

I'm gonna give him for it next time. No, we're. We're on that. We're on that type of.

[Miles]

You know, it's like insulting a tattoo artist right before he gives you a tattoo.

[Tyler]

I bet you fucking suck at art.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

God, you're kind of a douchebag. Yeah, but you want to tattoo my arm.

[Ryan]

It's. Guys, it's rapport. You got to build rapport with your gc, you know, of course, your buddies for six months, and then you don't talk to them every once in a while.

[Miles]

Or 12 months if you're.

[Ryan]

Or 12 months shitty at GC. Yeah, true.

[Miles]

Well, should we take a break?

[Tyler]

Sure.

[Miles]

All right, guys, before we get into the next segment, we have some new bush patch hats on the website, correct, Ryan?

[Ryan]

Yes, we do.

[Miles]

Ryan or Tyler's wearing one. He's got the all brown with the khaki patch. Looks pretty nice. I got on the forest green color. These patches have made a revival. We used to sell these patches on a camo hat. Now we got them on non camo. Maybe we'll bring the camo back at some point.

[Ryan]

I found these patches in the corner somewhere.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

So I.

[Miles]

Were they or were they not in the garbage?

[Ryan]

No, they weren't in the garbage. They were in the corner.

[Tyler]

Thank God.

[Ryan]

And I saw them, and I'm like. I just started cooking. I'm like, you know, what would these look good on?

[Miles]

So this is Chef Ryan's specialty. You know, you go to the restaurant, like, what's the special today? Well, Chef Ryan's got bush patch hats on the specials, so. But there is danger of limited quantities.

[Ryan]

There is. We will. So there will be a camel one. I don't know if you knew that you had made the camel comment. There will be a camel one.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Which will.

[Miles]

If you go to the website, you can check it out.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So, guys, you gotta go to the website before these suckers are go. Because we only have so many patches, correct?

[Ryan]

Yes, we do.

[Miles]

Yeah. This was in the corner of the office. It wasn't like the corner of the storage room.

[Tyler]

Yeah. It wasn't like, on the ground or anything?

[Ryan]

No, no. Like, in all my, like, supplies and my extra inventory that I keep out in the warehouse, they just found them in a Random box.

[Jared]

It's a tight ship.

[Tyler]

Beautiful.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. Ryan was tightening up his ship. There we go. So go to oubet you dot com. Guys, check out the new bush. New old bush patch hats.

[Ryan]

The revived.

[Miles]

Yeah. Bush patch hat revival. Yes. That's what we're calling it. All right, guys, next segment we're going to talk about today is what are the best things to argue with your wife about? And I know it's a. It's an oxymoron type of segment. You know, it's like arguing with your wife sounds terrible, but there are certain things that are kind of funny to argue with your wife about. Maybe grind her gears a little bit. Maybe torquer, melon, you know, So I like to argue. I think it's the. One of the best arguments with your wife is who's got worse farts? I don't know if you guys do that, but I like it because no one can actually ever win that argument.

[Tyler]

No.

[Jared]

Very subjective.

[Miles]

Plus, I still maybe have my smelliest farts ahead of me. Like, I. I could have more in the chamber now. You think you've had the worst, but I. I could be brewing up something good.

[Tyler]

The. The problem with the who has worst farts argument is you're both right, because everyone likes their own brand.

[Miles]

I don't know if I love my brand all the time, but you don't.

[Tyler]

Hate it as much as everyone else.

[Miles]

My wife's got a pretty good case against me, we'll have to say. But she's no, you know, slouch. Yeah, she's. She can rip and roar. You know what I mean?

[Ryan]

She's gonna kill you.

[Jared]

Good thing to argue about for later argument.

[Miles]

Best thing, arguing about your wife arguing about you saying that you like to argue about farts. That's what's coming next. No, it's like, you know, that's the thing. They don't prepare you for marriage. Somehow I think it's gotten worse since I got married. You know, we were together a while before we got married. You think you know about your wife, and then you get married, and all of a sudden she has more ammo than you thought. Yeah, she was packing, you know?

[Ryan]

Yeah, she gets you in that Dutch.

[Miles]

All of a sudden, she pulls up. She pulls up her leg, and she's got another clip to put in the chamber strap, like a leg mount clip, you know, like. Where'd you get that from? Where was that?

[Tyler]

Before we got married, my dad used to tell me that girls don't fart until you're dating. And they don't poop until you're married.

[Jared]

So true.

[Miles]

Yeah. I used to say I was in the third grade.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So does that say what your dad.

[Tyler]

That's just what he told me when I was a kid.

[Miles]

There you go. Probably heard it from your dad. Yeah, I probably saw it on a form that your dad is spewing knowledge.

[Ryan]

Drone form.

[Jared]

Cora.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, it's just. And it's always. It's just fun, you know, it's like. And there's one time my wife had a tough day. Fart Wise T. Bell.

[Tyler]

Ah.

[Jared]

White chicken.

[Tyler]

Little gordita. Crunch run.

[Miles]

Yeah, it was. It was a tough day for. And so anytime I feel like I'm losing the who's who's got worse farts argument, I just bring that I trump card. Taco Bell just trump card that one time where, you know, room clearing behavior.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

She's gonna be murdering me for this. But yeah, I mean, it's. It's a. You know, at least now we can blame our kid. That's true.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

There's a clear winner in my house. That being me. So there's really no arguments on who's worse.

[Miles]

Oh, really?

[Ryan]

And here's the thing.

[Miles]

Gonna kill me. You guys are supposed to be like, oh, yeah, my wife has smelly farts too.

[Tyler]

I was just gonna say she. We never argue about it because if I fart, she just leaves. And if she farts, I freak out. Like, what are you doing?

[Miles]

Yeah, it's the opposite.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And freaks out on me every time I do it. And if she does it, I'm just like, really? And I just walk away.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Meg freaks out if I'm within like 20ft. I gotta be at least. At least 20 or more feet. But here's the thing. She keeps making chili and I'm like, it's her fault. Yeah, well, quit making chili.

[Miles]

The thing that gets the most argument is when I'm in the bathroom with her and I fart.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Miles]

Where do you want me to do it?

[Ryan]

You want me to go back out.

[Tyler]

To your pillow and fart on your pillow? Because I can do that.

[Miles]

It's like, what? This is where you're supposed to.

[Jared]

It's nothing sacred.

[Miles]

If you. Yeah. If you looked up etiquette, we shouldn't have got the double sinks then in the house.

[Ryan]

Yeah, because you're at your sink.

[Miles]

Yeah. About my sink. Where do you want me to do it? Yeah.

[Ryan]

You want me to go to the kitchen sink and brush my teeth or what?

[Miles]

Because you can't do it in the kitchen.

[Ryan]

Hot air rises, so. And your bathroom's upstairs, so if you fart in the kitchen, that's going right up to the bathroom.

[Jared]

It's true.

[Ryan]

Hot air rises. True.

[Miles]

Well, yeah, so that's a. That's a fun argument. I think we start. No one can win.

[Jared]

No.

[Ryan]

We started playing the game where Guess the sound. Yeah. Guess the sound. Yeah.

[Miles]

And I have talked about that.

[Ryan]

I think Meg's like, oh, for five since we started playing it. So she hasn't. She's not a great percentage. Zero percent if you do the math.

[Tyler]

Zero.

[Ryan]

Yeah. But it is. It is pretty fun because I can manipulate it, too, to make it, you.

[Tyler]

Know, that much control of the cheeks.

[Ryan]

At this at 31 years old. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I don't. I think my sphincter control is nowhere near yours. I can't control this.

[Miles]

Yeah, but it's less about sphincter all the time as. As it can be surface that you're sitting on.

[Ryan]

That's.

[Miles]

Or not sitting on.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Or, you know, are you in a full squat? Are you.

[Ryan]

That matters.

[Miles]

Are you stiff as a board? Clenching.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that matters.

[Miles]

That matters a lot. You know, what. What time of day, you know, have.

[Jared]

I had Taco Bell recently?

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's. It's a. It's a fun game to play to get. To get each other to laugh. Because now farts aren't like, oh, my God, what do you like now? It's just a laughing matter. So if you're having trouble with that. It's a game. Yeah, it's a game.

[Miles]

Whereas my wife. You'd think if I farted, I basically asked her for a divorce. I mean, that's how she treats me, farting. And it's like, you married a guy, you know, like, what were you expecting?

[Tyler]

It's what we do.

[Miles]

I mean, you had two. You have two brothers. You couldn't tell me that your brothers were going in the bathroom to fart growing up?

[Ryan]

They definitely weren't. Yeah. If anything, they were probably going closer to her.

[Tyler]

You're farting on her.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

That's what brothers do.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Best thing that I like to argue with my wife about is keeping my nightstand tidy. This is a. Just a. It's an ongoing battle because. So I got a book on my nightstand. I got usually a cup from the previous night. And then maybe, I don't know, one other thing, and it's like, it. You could. Like. She portrays it as my nightstand could have came from the dump. Just a pile of garbage that is just sitting Next to the bed on my side. But then here's the thing. Here's where I like to get a. Get. Get my side of the story in. So you want. If you walk in her bedroom, like, my nightstand is what you can see, and then hers is on the opposite side. So she just stuffs all her stuff down, like below the bed so no one can see it. It's the same with the closet. You open up the closet door and all my shit's on the floor right there. Well, I get, I get hell for that. But then if you, if you look to the left, then it's like there's a pile of over there. You just can't see it. So I, I take the heat because I'm forward facing in that, in that sense.

[Miles]

I also think, like, no, when was the last time? Unless you like just remodeled your house or when you guys are moving into a new house, there's gonna be people that are gonna get the tour, are going to see your master bedroom, the whole thing. But after that initial phase, no one is going in your bedroom.

[Ryan]

No.

[Tyler]

Ever.

[Ryan]

No.

[Miles]

Ever again.

[Tyler]

And if they do, it's weird. Get out.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Get the out of here.

[Miles]

Stop going in my bedroom.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. Top of the dresser. Same thing as the nightstand.

[Miles]

It's a great, It's a great thing to bring up. Right. I think your nightstand is your own personal space.

[Ryan]

I agree. I agree. Everything in it, it's. That's all mine. Nobody else has anything in my nightstand. It's mine. So leave me alone. Let me, Let me, Let me take care of my personal space. Like I like to take care of my personal space. If there's a cup on there, I'll move it in three days. Okay.

[Jared]

It's called my personal space.

[Miles]

Correct? Yeah. And you could tell how I treat my nightstand. So once in a while, it will clean off my nightstand. So I have three drawers in my nightstand. Not to brag. And you can tell when, what stage. I cleaned my nightstand. Because the top drawer is all the oldest stuff. Because when you're first cleaning off your nightstand, you open up the top drawer and you just swipe it all in there, close it up. Well, then that gets full. So then the next round, you go to the second drawer. And so if I'm, if I'm thinking about, like, what stuff I need, if it's older, I look top drawer. If it's newer, I look bottom drawer.

[Jared]

Interesting, huh? Okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I feel like I'm the opposite.

[Miles]

You went bottom drawer first.

[Tyler]

Yeah, he's a bottom up Kind of guy.

[Ryan]

See, my nightstand is like a junk drawer. Like, oh, yeah, that's what I mean.

[Miles]

Yeah, there's junk just goes.

[Ryan]

Yeah, there's nothing in there that I.

[Tyler]

Need, like, I do, especially at night.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah. There's nothing in there do I need at night. Like, I think. I think I maybe got some CBD pills in there from, like, 2015. I'm like, wow, God, what if I can't sleep one night? I better keep these things around you.

[Miles]

I know. It's some crazy. I have in my. I have a buckeye, like, in my tree. From a tree.

[Ryan]

From a tree.

[Miles]

Guy we went hunting with comes up to me and my dad.

[Tyler]

Oh, you're talking like, the eye of a deer.

[Ryan]

No, no, no. A buckeye is a.

[Miles]

It's like a little nut.

[Ryan]

Looks like an acorn, but Google buckeye.

[Miles]

An actual buckeye guy we'll go hunting with came out to me and my dad. He's like, you guys want a buckeye? And so he handed it to me and my dad.

[Tyler]

Holy. This is why Ohio State's mascot is what he is. That's his head.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Wow. What a big epiphany.

[Miles]

Every day and he pulls one out of his pocket. He's like, yeah, I met a guy who said that buckeyes are good luck. And so I carry one in my pocket every day. So you guys have those for good luck and carry them with you every day. And I was like, oh, my God, this is crazy. But he literally walks around every day with a buckeye in his pocket because he thinks it's good luck. So. But then it's like, I feel like it's bad juju to throw something away that someone tells you is good luck. So now it's just gonna live in my nightstand forever. Forever.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Because I can't throw it away. That's bad luck.

[Tyler]

Hey, did it happen?

[Miles]

The good luck might not work, but you definitely don't want to risk having bad luck.

[Tyler]

I think I just solved something about you. The first night you brought that buckeye home, put it in your nightstand. You woke up the next morning at 5:30 and saw Michael Strahan.

[Miles]

That could have been it.

[Ryan]

That's very true.

[Tyler]

You had so much luck that morning. It's very true.

[Miles]

It's true. I think I gotta start wearing. Wearing the buckeye around. Yeah, get a little holster for my belt.

[Ryan]

Or. Yeah, get a little something you can stick to the back of your phone. Yeah, keep it in the buckeye case.

[Miles]

For the back of my phone.

[Ryan]

Buckeye pop Socket now.

[Jared]

You have to hit Michigan Wolverines now too.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Jared]

It's part of the deal.

[Tyler]

One thing that I love arguing with my wife about is where things in our house should go.

[Ryan]

You've talked about this before and it.

[Tyler]

Started with a verbal like argument. Like, no, I think this should go here. I think this should go here. And now it's a non verbal argument where I'll just move stuff to where I want it and then she'll move it back to where she wants it. So the current, the current item now is the butter dish. I think it should be next to the bread cupboard. She thinks it should be by the toaster. So we just keep moving it back and forth.

[Miles]

I like that the bread cover doesn't buy passive aggressive.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's not, it's not because the toaster is next to the. Like under the microwave.

[Ryan]

Sure.

[Miles]

See, we, we're, we're just bread on the counter 247 people. We don't have a bread cupboard.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

Are you guys, Anyone else do that? No, it's just, it's just. Yeah, you don't have break. It just sits next to the toaster.

[Ryan]

All day where it should be. Growing up, though, I think that's how we were. The bread was just on the counter.

[Miles]

Same. Yeah, pretty sure.

[Ryan]

See, I just.

[Miles]

Now I'm trying to remember my childhood, my getting older.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Like, I'm pretty sure that the bread was on the counter.

[Miles]

I'll text my mom.

[Ryan]

I kind of just fold in those situations. Like I'll just accept that this is here and that's there.

[Miles]

See, for me it's less of an argument. I usually just go, oh, I'm glad we have the Tupperware in the bottom drawer and all the stuff we don't use in the top drawer. That makes. Got it. Because I don't want it. Because then she's just gonna be like, well, then change it. If you go that, then you have to change the things. And I'll just wait for one night at like 10:30pm I'll get a surge of ADHD energy and I'll do it. But that could be a decade from now.

[Tyler]

You just gotta wait until you've. You've let the dishes soak for so long. You have a mountain of dirty dishes. So the drawers are already pretty empty.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's true. Anne needs to go on like a weekend girls trip and then the end of that there'll be no. I will have done no dishes. And then I can just rearrange everything.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I Have been doing more laundry, though. Hey, it's starting to come around on it. Yeah, it's just something that's just, you know, I'm reached the age where I just like to do a simple task that just gets your mind off everything.

[Ryan]

Well, it's like, yeah, that's how old I been, you know, that's.

[Tyler]

That's dishes for me. You got making the bed. You got laundry. I got dishes. Jared, I. I've.

[Miles]

I'm a changed man. I used to despise laundry. I don't mind it now.

[Jared]

It's not too bad. Got cleaner clothes now. I would be like to argue with my wife about taking out the garbage, because that's an argument I always win because I'm the only one that takes out the garbage.

[Ryan]

Really?

[Tyler]

Apartment I like your. Your angle on this. Just picking the arguments that you win.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Those are the best ones.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

Got it.

[Ryan]

So why do you always win the art? Like, what's her argument?

[Jared]

Well, she'll bring up something like, yada, yada. You don't do the dishes. Like. Well, who takes out the garbage? Yeah, it's like something like that.

[Ryan]

Okay, so you don't want to take the garbage out because you want to keep that as your thing that you can use a little bit of leverage.

[Miles]

Yeah. That's what marriage is all about, is keeping score and having leverage over the other person.

[Jared]

We don't live in a house. We have an apartment. So it's much.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

Garbage is a way bigger deal.

[Miles]

Yeah. Way bigger deal.

[Jared]

Yep. Especially this time of year.

[Miles]

Yeah. I. I think one thing I like to argue with my wife about is whether or not she should start a garden. Okay. And it's. It's less of an argument. It is more of a conversation. You know, when she first brought it up, my nature was to argue about it. Right. And then I realized that that was falling on deaf ears. So now I just paint a picture. I go, all right, I've made you some planters to start your garden. You've planted your garden. It is now two months later. It is middle of the summer, blistering hot out, your kid is crying and your stuff is dying. Do you want to make. Do you want to pull the weeds? Do you want to water it every single day? Do you want to do all of these things that make. Keep the rabbits out? I don't even know.

[Tyler]

You do have a crazy amount of rabbits at your house.

[Miles]

I know that's a serious issue. Do you want to do that? And then it's always like, no, I don't want to do that. You got to paint the picture of what actually doing garden.

[Ryan]

Yes. Robert. Robert Ross.

[Tyler]

And when. If you're listening to this in a couple years, you can come back to Miles, but. Well, I won't have to do any of that because I'll just make our kid do it.

[Miles]

It's true. It's true. Then I want to step further and said, you know, I want to be a supportive husband. And so why don't we start with just a single pot? Let's pick one thing. If you want to grow tomatoes, if you want to grow something like that.

[Ryan]

Herbs and spices, let's do one pot.

[Miles]

See how it goes.

[Jared]

Wow.

[Miles]

I guess I don't want to do it that bad. Doesn't even want to do a pot.

[Ryan]

So, yeah.

[Miles]

Argument one. Super fun to argue about.

[Jared]

Always when. That one.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You should buy her. You should buy her like, a. Like a tomato plant or, like a basil plant or something. And, like, something you could keep inside. Start with that. And if the one inside dies, then, yes, she's. The argument's no longer.

[Tyler]

We're going through it right now where I'm. My wife also wants to start a garden, and I'm treating it like a dad does when their kids want to get a puppy. Like, well, if you start a garden, you've got to take care of it. I don't want to end up tending your garden.

[Miles]

They. They go, that's fine. You got to paint the picture, Tyler, and start small. If you can't win the painting the picture argument, start small.

[Tyler]

Yeah. It's just. I just know that I. If there's a garden at my house and it's not being tended, I will end up doing it because I can't let them die. It's not in my nature.

[Miles]

You can't let her know that.

[Tyler]

I already did. She knows.

[Miles]

Okay, well, then you're.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You lost all of your leverage, which is.

[Tyler]

It's the classic.

[Miles]

I mean, father. It's like letting your wife take out the garbage. You've lost all of your leverage.

[Ryan]

Yeah, see, I'm in the opposite of both of you guys. Like, my wife has a garden, and I'm trying to. I'm trying to paint the picture of what the plants do. Like, painting the picture in, like, March and April of what the plants look like in July and August. And she just.

[Miles]

She keeps.

[Ryan]

She keeps planting one. So I'm trying to get.

[Miles]

Oh, you're saying because they die.

[Ryan]

Correct.

[Miles]

Okay, well.

[Ryan]

And because, like, I, you know, I, you know. Hey, If I wanted this garden, I would have planned this stuff because I don't. I don't want to take care of it. So say it's the puppy approach. Yeah, it's like I'm out here, you know, hard day at work, and now I gotta. My. My hose doesn't even. My hose doesn't get any closer than 25ft from the garden. So I have to sit there, just.

[Miles]

Get a longer hose.

[Ryan]

Spraying it, 45 degree angle. I'm trying to get the back, like the back tomatoes. And like, then I gotta go shoot that like straight up in the air. And then I'm like, well, I'm just gonna turn the sprinklers on those.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, sprinkler. And then just take like a. Like a lid. A lid for a garbage can and just like redirect it into the garden. That's actually a pretty good idea.

[Jared]

You come back in the house, you're just drenched, wet.

[Miles]

How's that garden going?

[Tyler]

See, that's what I. If I ended up doing the garden, I'd be so shitty about it.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Like, oh, hey, I love to spend time with you this afternoon, but I was too busy weeding your garden.

[Miles]

Start with a pot, Tyler. Negotiate that.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

Start with a pot.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

You know, it's like if you're gonna get into something, you don't just dive in and go balls in.

[Jared]

Yeah. McDonald's didn't start with 30, 000 restaurants.

[Tyler]

That's true.

[Ryan]

Well, and it's the classic, like, you don't need a garden. You just need to know somebo garden. Because everybody with a garden is there.

[Tyler]

You always have too much and they're.

[Ryan]

Always planning it off.

[Miles]

That's true. You don't need a garden because we invented grocery stores.

[Tyler]

But no, you can save 80 cents a tomato.

[Miles]

Like, imagine doing this with other things. Be like, oh, yeah, like I want ice blocks instead of ac.

[Tyler]

You know, I'm really tired of real refrigerator.

[Miles]

I just want ice chest.

[Tyler]

I'm tired of buying pound of ground beef at the grocery store. I think I'll raise a couple head of cattle.

[Jared]

Yeah, you can do that.

[Ryan]

Get some chickens. Yeah. Price of eggs going up. I might have to start.

[Miles]

No. Yeah, the chicken things.

[Ryan]

The chicken. Yeah.

[Miles]

No, I get why you want to do a garden. It's fun and whatever if you're into it. But if you're like my wife, you're going to be excited about it for two weeks, then you're gonna hate it, and then it's gonna be a disaster.

[Ryan]

Now I will Say it is kind of fun, like when you and the kids are outside, like, they'll go in the garden just, like, picking tomatoes and eating tomatoes like that. That's kind of fun because, like, my kid will eat tomatoes, the green ones, like, he does an apple.

[Miles]

All right, what I'm gonna do instead is I'm just gonna do an Easter egg hunt with tomatoes around my yard.

[Ryan]

That's not a bad idea.

[Miles]

We can go around and he can get the same effect without having to do that.

[Ryan]

Yeah, the rabbit. I think the rabbit problem can deter anybody from making a garden.

[Miles]

Yeah. I would have to have one of those little rabbit fences. Like, I swear to God, the rabbits are mutant in my yard.

[Ryan]

Yeah, they're probably huge. They're 12, 15 pounds.

[Tyler]

Yeah, they're. They're the size of some small dogs.

[Miles]

Yeah, they're very large.

[Tyler]

And there's.

[Ryan]

Yeah, they're not 100 of them. Yeah, they're jackrabbits. So they're much bigger, but they're jacked rabbits. Yeah, they're Jack. Yeah. Jack 3D.

[Miles]

Yeah. You ever seen the video of the guy punching the kangaroo?

[Tyler]

That's what his rabbits look like.

[Miles]

Yeah, like, no, do that the other day.

[Jared]

That was me in that video.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

To one of them rabbits. Oh. All right. We got one more segment we can rifle through quick.

[Tyler]

Sure.

[Miles]

This one's a quicker one. We were talking about this. I was very curious to what you guys thought. What profession has the best lifestyle could mean a whole. You know, we each have our own deficit lifestyle. Mine was you get paid the most amount of money with the least amount of pressure, with the most time off. That was kind of how I defined it.

[Tyler]

Me, too.

[Ryan]

That kind of falls right into my.

[Tyler]

And I think I found the perfect one.

[Miles]

I think I found the perfect.

[Tyler]

Okay, okay.

[Miles]

The cushiest, easiest, best lifestyle. What is it, Tyler?

[Tyler]

Mid level state government job. You. I looked this up. The average salary for a mid level state. State government employee is $70,000 a year.

[Miles]

Great.

[Ryan]

Very livable.

[Miles]

Great salary.

[Tyler]

Work 8 to 5, one hour lunch, always get the weekends off. 12 to 15 holidays per year. 120 hours of leave a year and 100 hours of sick leave a year. And free health care from the state.

[Ryan]

And how much paternity leave for us males? It's 12 weeks.

[Tyler]

12 weeks?

[Ryan]

No, no, no. It's.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's like 12.

[Ryan]

Okay. 12 weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

And that's for us dads.

[Miles]

Yeah. We'll have to say, though, Uncle Don started to make that job a little less cushy so yeah, that would be the one knock.

[Ryan]

You know, it might not happen.

[Miles]

Cracking the whip a little bit as we stand.

[Tyler]

That's my vote.

[Miles]

That's pretty good. I will call your mid level government deploy because there's still a lot of bureaucracy in the government job. There might be some bureaucracy in mind. Anyways. I think the. The tenured college professor has the best lifestyle.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Of any. They can do whatever they want. Not just at work, but they could just. They just do what they. They don't even have to have class.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Like especially like the ones that are. They got a professor job to do. Science. They just like, I don't want to teach class today. I'm going to go work on my experiments.

[Miles]

Correct. Yeah. They just go tinker around with Indiana Jones.

[Tyler]

He's just like, I'll skip this school year to go fight Nazis and find treasure.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Tenured professor.

[Miles]

Yep. Robert Langdon.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Da Vinci Code.

[Miles]

Isn't he a tenured professor? I mean that dude's just swimming laps and running around Europe just solving mysteries.

[Tyler]

He is.

[Ryan]

I don't know who that is.

[Tyler]

He's the main character from the Da Vinci Code.

[Miles]

I think Nicholas Cage is a college professor. Tenured college professor in National Treasure. Isn't he? Or some like that.

[Tyler]

He is some sort of historian.

[Miles]

Some. I don't know if he's the same church. Matthew McConaughey. He's a professor at University of Texas.

[Ryan]

Yeah, he is.

[Miles]

Cushy ass lifestyle.

[Ryan]

I think he teaches like two classes.

[Miles]

I looked it up. It was like anywhere from 80 to $150,000 a year depending on what university you're at. You get all the summers off. You don't even have to have class now. You don't even have to grade anything. I. I would pick something where they don't have to write papers. So I don't gotta read any papers.

[Tyler]

Scantrons only, dude.

[Miles]

They don't even have. You don't even have to put Scantrons into the thing anymore. It's just all online tests are. Hell yeah. Then they just grade them for them. You just make people do discussion questions. You don't read them. You don't read them. The.

[Tyler]

Make the TA. Read them.

[Miles]

Yeah. You gotta a ta. You have a ta.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I mean you don't. You just. If you're like you. You get too drunk on a Sunday, you just like, sorry, I woke up. No class today.

[Tyler]

Okay. I'm gonna combine yours and mine for what I think is the perfect. It's a tenured professor at a State college.

[Miles]

So you really can't get fired.

[Tyler]

Yeah, because then you get government benefits to go along with all the stuff you just said.

[Miles]

It just. You can't get fired as a tenured. It's like so hard. You literally have to like be committing crimes. I think in order to get a homicide.

[Ryan]

Tenure takes like. I think it's like five years, five or six years to get tenure. Yeah, it's not much because my brother's a. He's a professor at University of Pittsburgh. So I think your brother's living the dream. Yeah, he also went to school until he was, you know, and took a year or two off. He probably went to school until he was 32. Yeah, probably 32, 33.

[Miles]

But like the thing is with professors too is they always got some weird quirk, right?

[Tyler]

It's like some collecting stamps or some.

[Miles]

Yeah. And then they just like sit in their mahogany office, the college, and just look at stamps all day.

[Tyler]

Look, look at it. Look at this stamp.

[Miles]

And then it's like, oh, Professor, I have a question. And you're like, it's, it's in the material. Go talk to the ta. If you exhaust those options, then come back to me, but not now. I'm looking at my 1920, my 1918 Boston molasses disaster stand.

[Tyler]

And make sure you come back during my office hours, which are Friday nights from midnight to 1:00am Yep, 100%.

[Miles]

I mean, the best lifestyle. Plus there's like also something like getting one at a historic college too. You can like walk around and just like be historical. Yeah, like that's if I could live an alternate lifestyle. Like I think it would be fun to be like a, like a guy who like wears sweater vests and carries around leather bound books and a lunch and has like by bifocals that he just wears to read and like reads by fires. It just seems like such a nice lifestyle. Or now it's lifestyle guys chaotic and whatever.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Be nice to just have that cushy historical lifestyle. This would be great. You know, like you just, after work, you just go to a pub and you have one pint.

[Tyler]

You run into one student and be like, you got your paper down.

[Miles]

Yeah. And then you like go home and you like have tea before bed. Like, it just sounds so nice. I don't know in another way.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you're gonna go on, man. You don't have any papers. Agreed.

[Miles]

Literally don't do anything all day. After the first year of teaching, you got every lesson plan done. So you literally show up to class, you Open it and you could just read it off and then go home.

[Tyler]

Especially like a college English teacher. That shit ain't changing like history because they're always making more of it. Math changes every once in a while. Science changes all the time. An English teacher might be pretty nice because that's not changing.

[Jared]

Yeah, you just read Shakespeare a thousand, thousand times. Yeah, you're good.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. But you don't want to be an English teacher. You got papers?

[Tyler]

I scan. They'll scan them. AI will grade them.

[Miles]

No, no. Yeah, I think.

[Tyler]

Yeah. TA reads that.

[Miles]

I, I had this. I. I have in mind this guy who lived this life and he was just like a history teacher. And they don't teach you the new definitive I think.

[Ryan]

Right.

[Tyler]

Ancient history. Ancient history. Easy peasy. It all happened. It's not changing.

[Miles]

Yeah, is that would be the move.

[Jared]

History is history.

[Ryan]

I think the cushiest job is a drop shipper.

[Miles]

No. Anytime that there's pressure, that if you don't perform, you don't make money, out the window.

[Ryan]

But it seems that people who have professions in drop shipping, like they're making a pretty good living and they, they'll just, they're, they're, they hit one thing and they're on to the next. Like you could work a couple hours a day.

[Miles]

Already my body chemistry is getting stressed thinking about hitting one thing and moving on to the next. You got to find the next thing. You got to sell more units. I got all this inventory I can't get rid of.

[Ryan]

You don't have inventory. You're drop shipping it.

[Miles]

You still have to buy product when you're drive drop shipping, send it to fba.

[Ryan]

No, I'm talking like you drop shipping from overseas. Like it's just a standard made product that you're like you throw on, you throw on Amazon or wherever it. I think it would be.

[Miles]

Ship.

[Ryan]

It's right.

[Tyler]

I can't me being in there because I have no idea how the process works whatsoever.

[Ryan]

I mean I do know a little bit about shipping and fulfillment. I would say it's a cushy job. You just.

[Miles]

If it works, you just need to know problem being a tenured college professor, it works no matter what you do.

[Ryan]

But in order to get to that point, you got to go to school for how long?

[Miles]

Which. And you got found out. But it's not that hard to get a degree. You just gotta like fill out the.

[Jared]

Stuff, flirt with the ta.

[Ryan]

Well, if you want to get paid more as a teacher, as a professor too, you know, you gotta get your Doctorate. And then you got to defend a thesis, and then you got to get publishing journals and.

[Tyler]

Not if you're tenured.

[Ryan]

Well, yeah, you do. You'd probably. Guys.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm chilling at my hundred.

[Miles]

But like getting a doctorate in history. Oh my God. So easy.

[Tyler]

I remember this better than you.

[Miles]

I mean, my sister in law, amazing.

[Tyler]

Just got her history degree. So I'll have her report on what the hell they're gonna do.

[Miles]

History degree or master's or doctorate?

[Tyler]

A bachelor's in history.

[Ryan]

Wait, yours? You have a brother?

[Tyler]

Sister in law.

[Miles]

Sister in law.

[Ryan]

I know. So that works.

[Tyler]

My wife's sister.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah, yeah. My bad, my bad. I'm thinking you had a brother. I'm like, we gotta start over.

[Tyler]

No. So she got her history, she's going to get her masters, so maybe she'll live this life.

[Miles]

Sure. I. I think what you're saying is being a middleman would be cushy lifestyle. I mean, that's essentially what the drop shipper is. I just still think though, it would be you. You. It's a little more high shrunk and you gotta kind of always be on because you got to know what the trends are is my one argument against it.

[Ryan]

Yeah, and there's. Yeah, there's softwares and you can find stuff like that.

[Miles]

But if it was that easy, then everyone would make a lot of money drop shipping. So there is work that goes into it. Quite literally.

[Ryan]

Yeah. No, I agree.

[Miles]

Anyone who's tenured can't get fired.

[Ryan]

Tough to get. Sometimes it's tough to get tenure, though.

[Miles]

I don't know if it is.

[Ryan]

Like, for example, for my brother to get tenure, he has to get. He has to. He has to be published into five whatever journals or publications. Professors and I want to say two or three of them have to be within like the top 5 of journals in that. Whatever. Whatever.

[Tyler]

What? What. What kind of professor is he?

[Ryan]

Professor of accounting.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

That also never changes. So that's. That's a good one to be tenured.

[Ryan]

In a couple years left.

[Tyler]

That's tough to hide who's reading accounting journals. That sucks.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I don't know. I have no idea. Not me.

[Tyler]

Jared.

[Miles]

Jared.

[Tyler]

Podcast host.

[Jared]

That's a good one. A masseuse. Because you're around like relaxing music all day.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Tyler]

But you gotta touch strangers naked back.

[Jared]

That's all probably the worst. That's definitely the worst part.

[Miles]

Plus you're gonna get.

[Ryan]

I mean, that is like whole.

[Miles]

That is the only part of the job.

[Jared]

It's really relaxing, though.

[Tyler]

Not for the massager.

[Jared]

You don't think so?

[Tyler]

No. My uncle has. He was in masseuse for a little bit there and he said. He said his hands were like cramp up and he was like getting early carpal tunnel because hands all day.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I think arthritis is common in the masseuse industry. We could ask Justin Tucker. I don't know.

[Miles]

I was gonna say you got. Not only you get to touch random people, you're gonna have guys like J Tub, Robert Kraft and Deshaun Watson.

[Jared]

That's a good point. I didn't think of that.

[Miles]

Basically just all people involved. The NFL are going to be showing up.

[Tyler]

Jared just Watts relaxing for favors.

[Jared]

But the music is so relaxed.

[Tyler]

You could just be an elevator attendant. What floor?

[Jared]

It's kind of ups and downs.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I guess. And that same on that same vein. Like a yoga. Like a yoga instructor.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's probably a better choice.

[Miles]

Yeah. But then you have to do so.

[Tyler]

Much yo all day long.

[Ryan]

But eventually you get so good where it's just like. I mean, you can. They're walking around classes. They're like, you know, pushing people down into poses and they're like changing playlists and rubbing lotion on.

[Miles]

You guys are two handsy dudes. Jesus.

[Jared]

Yeah, apparently.

[Ryan]

Relax. We're relaxed. We like to be relaxed.

[Jared]

Sounds what I would pick.

[Miles]

I mean, a little stress.

[Tyler]

I would have a massage rater. Just get massages every day and rate them. That'd be more relaxing than being the job. It could be.

[Miles]

I feel like you don't get paid very much though.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Oh, a Raider. I see. Like a reviewer.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Or being like. Like reviewing. Reviewing like toys or books or something on.

[Miles]

I mean, a movie critic would be pretty cushy.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Hard to get into. But once you're on your end.

[Tyler]

Because when they promote those critics, they're 1 sentence reviews. 4 stars. Fun for the family, but lacks plot.

[Miles]

Explosively funny.

[Ryan]

Well, it's all subjective.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

It's just like the weather.

[Jared]

Yeah. When you get bribed by the movies.

[Ryan]

Too to give a good review.

[Tyler]

The weather's not subjective.

[Ryan]

Why? What correlation did that have in my head just now?

[Tyler]

I don't know.

[Ryan]

I don't either.

[Miles]

It's unpredictable is what you were thinking.

[Ryan]

But yeah, it's too relaxed.

[Jared]

Twitch yoga.

[Miles]

Being a college. A tenured college professor at a. At a mahogany type of school. You guys know what I'm talking about?

[Tyler]

Like Notre Dame. Yeah, Notre Dame for sure has mahogany.

[Miles]

Yeah. Like Ivy League, but not the. Not the Blue Chippers. Like we're talking brown.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Cornell.

[Ryan]

John Hoppy something.

[Miles]

I can wear a sweater every day to work, sit in my mahogany office and just look at stamps.

[Tyler]

And for some reason campus. It's always fall on campus.

[Miles]

It's always fall. Yeah.

[Tyler]

No matter what.

[Miles]

100 agree at those mahogany campuses.

[Jared]

Light breeze.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's a light breeze. Everyone's always wearing a sweater and slacks.

[Tyler]

It's the. It's cold enough to where you can wear a light jacket and a scarf. But you don't need a hat.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I think like.

[Miles]

But your nose doesn't run.

[Tyler]

Nope.

[Ryan]

I think old architecture deters bad weather.

[Miles]

Yeah, something like that. Gargoyles.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Scare.

[Jared]

Scares the wind away.

[Ryan]

Yep. Yeah.

[Miles]

This is something about a mahogany campus. You know, there's always a pub across the street with little squeakies.

[Tyler]

It's an Irish pub too called old Malley's or some. But are we doing goodwill hunting?

[Miles]

It's a little goodwill hunting. I. I would like to live as a professor in goodwill hunting. It's not bad.

[Ryan]

See, but then you'd have to chalkboard and all that type like that's a little more. More work back at the goodwill hunting days.

[Miles]

No, the professor didn't solve the math problem. The janitor did.

[Ryan]

That's true.

[Miles]

Spoiler alert.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You need a good janitor though.

[Miles]

Damn it. It's like they. Dude, you don't even have to solve. You just sat up there that no one can solve this.

[Jared]

You're like us hope.

[Miles]

And then the janitor. What the. Man. I'm trying to do the bare minimum. I just want to look at my stamps all day. And you're finishing that now. I actually have to try.

[Jared]

I have to talk to you.

[Ryan]

I was also gonna say a tick tock influencer. Like TikTok specific people who are like have a big enough following to get like. They have a couple like small brands that they're representing. They're. I mean they're just traveling and doing nothing.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

But they're posting travel montages.

[Tyler]

They also have the ever looming hammer about to be dropped on them of their one money maker being canceled.

[Ryan]

I know. Yeah, I know. That's why I didn't say it right away. Not through it.

[Miles]

Yeah. One. One when I was looking up that came up surprisingly when I was like doing some research on this was a anesthesiologist. Which their lifestyle is pretty cushy. They don't work that much. They make shitloads of money. And the work that they have to do doesn't take very long. But you could kill someone.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I was just like, okay, this can't be on the list.

[Tyler]

Like, you. You have to be perfect.

[Miles]

You literally. You can't mess up. There's a lot of stress in that, so. Absolutely not.

[Ryan]

I mean, what about, like, full. You know, you're working full time at, like, a marijuana shop. Do I talk about cushions?

[Miles]

I mean, you're making, like, 30 grand.

[Ryan]

A year, but, hey, you're smoking for.

[Tyler]

No paid time off, no insurance, but.

[Miles]

You are literally gonna be fired at any moment.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, you, man, right now, all right? You own the shop. How about that?

[Miles]

Now you got to deal with a bunch of potheads working for you.

[Ryan]

But, hey, market research, you got to be able to tell the customers which way they want to be leaning. It comes to a purchase, you know, sativa.

[Miles]

You just throw in free junk, too. Yeah. This one, a cookie. You can have ear. Some gum.

[Ryan]

This one's a lot like.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's a wristband with. With weed leaves on it.

[Jared]

There's a roach clip.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You ever had, you know that feeling you get after, like, two glasses of wine? Yeah. This is exactly like.

[Miles]

That's.

[Ryan]

That's the go to for all of them. Not that I've been to one, but my buddies told me they're like. They're not wine drinkers either, so. The guy didn't read the room, apparently.

[Jared]

Got a good salesman.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You ever had, like, six. Six beers? Like, that's the feeling.

[Tyler]

Your buddies walked in there wearing an insane clown Posse shirt. He's like, that guy drinks wine.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I'm gonna use that analogy. Yeah.

[Ryan]

You ever drink, like, half a bottle of whiskey with your. And you want to just fight somebody? Like, this one is gonna do that.

[Tyler]

You ever solo a handle, Kov?

[Miles]

This.

[Tyler]

This one will get you there and.

[Miles]

End up buck naked in the ditch somewhere. That. That. That's what it's like.

[Tyler]

I don't.

[Miles]

Be careful. All right, guys. Is that it? You got a fun fact?

[Jared]

I do. Each day, we breathe about 20,000 times.

[Ryan]

Wow.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I'm gonna start holding my breath more.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, that makes sense. 84,000 ish seconds in a day, give or take, breathe every three seconds.

[Tyler]

I don't like how conscious I am of my breathing right now.

[Miles]

That's called mindfulness.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Look at you, living in the moment.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Thanks, Jared. It's like the whole.

[Miles]

All right, guys, that's it. What are you gonna say?

[Tyler]

No. It's like when someone tells you you can see your nose all the time, but you ignore it and then all you can see is your nose.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah, Crazy mom.

[Miles]

Love to see you. Tell that to Voldemort. All right, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of you Bet yout Radio podcast. May your nostril be breathing air and your books be mahoganied.

[Jared]

Your jobs be tenured.

[Miles]

Jobs be tenured. Cheers, Ryan. Oh, you betcha.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, they'll head over heels to Connie's new wife got boozed up and kicked out Choice Awards. I was all a downward spiral with no end in sight And a thought struck me Laying drunk on the floor to make myself feel better Rounded up.

[Miles]

For change.

[E]

Put 20 puppies in the charity jar While I drown myself in whiskey Some orphans got saved and tonight I'm a better man than you are I now call my own fouls and don't argue with reps Started being a man of my own word I give them homeless people the crust of my bread? Cause the voice of God life hurts Run down the fear and repeat after me oh, out loud, don't be scared it's never too late to join this family this time y'all got on board, come with me Tone zero carry one he asked am I the chosen one? The voice of God within my head Shining for better but they be live gotten gone like a code red when shit goes wrong. Sounds good in theory, but I don't think it'll happen. Sounds good in theory, but I don't think it'll happen. Call me pessimistic, bittersweet and important mountain Sounds good in theory, but it just. It takes overcome and sacrifice yourself. It takes overcome to sacrifice yourself. I can't relate that to no one else.

[Jared]

But.

[E]

It takes overcome and sacrifice of self. It takes overcoming sacrifice of self. I can't relate that to no one else.

[Tyler]

But o.

[E]

Cut down the beer and repeat after me oh, out loud, don't be scared it's never too late to join this family it's time y'all got on board, come with me Put down with beer and repeat after me oh, out loud, don't be scared it's never too late to join this fam it's time y'all got on board Come with me.

[Jared]

Stump Ryan.

[Ryan]

Bring it.

[Jared]

How many miles away is the sun?

[Ryan]

Finally.

[Miles]

Let's go.

[Ryan]

Hell yeah, Cape Dog.

[Miles]

We finally understood. So that is how you stump someone.

[Jared]

We don't know yet.

[Ryan]

How many miles away is a Sonic?

[Tyler]

I'm so happy right now.

[Miles]

We finally can end the segment.

[Tyler]

There's an episode where I literally spelled it out like, just ask him a question. He can't possibly know. And this still took six more months.

[Ryan]

Can I get a 500,000?

[Jared]

Sure.

[Ryan]

Leeway? 1.5 million miles.

[Jared]

Final answer?

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Jared]

91.579 million miles.

[Miles]

Not even close.

[Tyler]

No.

[Ryan]

Holy shit.

[Tyler]

It's a long ass ways.

[Ryan]

That's a long ways. And for it to project heat onto us is even crazier.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

All right. Well stumped.

[Ryan]

I mean, there is no rule book.

[Jared]

No braver.

[Ryan]

There is no rulebook.

[Miles]

All right, that segment's done.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we can, we can move on. Stop. Miles now. How many miles away?

[Tyler]

Ask him the same question right now and he won't get it.

[Miles]

No, no, no, no, no. It's got to be from a patron.

[Jared]

Will be the moon next week.

[Miles]

I'm going to do a lot of googling over the next week.

[Tyler]

Just, just constantly reading the encyclopedia.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I got those Southwest Advantage books if you want to borrow. My parents bought from those traveling book salesmen. They bought those and we were like, the encyclopedia books? Yeah.

[Miles]

Nice.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

World Book, Volume 1.

[Ryan]

Good. I would ask my parents for help on homework and they'd be like, well, before we help you, have you checked the torture? And then I go ask my brother. My brother, he's really smart and he just would never help me. And so I fucking pop those books open like, yep, can't find it. Need help anyway.

[Jared]

Riding pine string bean, shiplap Sheila asks, how long do you. Do you all think you could realistically last without any power? I'm talking total grid loss, no generators.

[Tyler]

I'm in a pretty good spot. I got a ton of wood in my woodshed and a fire burning stove. So that helps.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, just going based off of the wood I have in my house, start a fire. The question is, I have a gas fireplace at home. Can I light a real fire in my gas fireplace and it vent correctly?

[Tyler]

You'd have to. You have to go outside and do some work. Make a, make a chimney of sorts.

[Miles]

No, but I mean like, can I just like tear out some of the guts of this thing and will air just go out?

[Tyler]

No, you gotta have some sort of X. Yeah, there's a vent.

[Miles]

There's a vent out the back of my house for it that some sort of air is going, releasing out into the thing maybe.

[Ryan]

It's a great question. I have no idea.

[Miles]

Under the hood, because that would be nice. If that's not an option, you know, I gotta. Yeah, I'm gonna be. That's gonna be tough. I'm have to be outside.

[Tyler]

You could make a fireplace with all those patio bricks you got.

[Miles]

Yeah, I. I think I. I think I would because I have like an overhang right outside of my patio door. There's an overhang. I would probably seal that off with something, then make a little vent thing out there. Put it outside.

[Ryan]

Well, yeah.

[Miles]

The problem is, is how much wood do I gotta start burning cabinets and stuff?

[Jared]

Assemble that bench.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Burn the bad. You don't have to stain it.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I'm gonna say. At least. I don't know. The food's the issue.

[Ryan]

Well, here's the thing. It's not about who can last longest with. Without like. Like having a heat source without power. It's. It's like. It's the food issue.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

People will go crazy.

[Tyler]

Food and water, number one. I do have a well, so that's good.

[Miles]

That helps.

[Ryan]

I do have a. Yeah, And I got a river.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

I have a. A little crick in my backyard. I have a faucet if it's. If it's recently rained.

[Tyler]

Is it a ditch?

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a crick.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

I mean, if there's snow on the ground, I can melt snow for a while for some water.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

If I know anything from my boy Luke from the Outdoor Boys Channel, it's that it takes a long time and it's very frustrating to melt snow for water. But if it's what I got to do, that's what I got to do.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Saw melting snow.

[Jared]

You got a lot of nutrigrain granola bars too.

[Miles]

That is true.

[Ryan]

That lasts two, three months.

[Tyler]

You're good on those.

[Miles]

I have one root beer in my fridge.

[Tyler]

You got to say that for a special occasion.

[Miles]

Right before I die. If I know I'm going down, that'll be my last.

[Jared]

No, you found out. You find out like. And drank it before that.

[Ryan]

Drink it the day before the grid went down.

[Tyler]

I think I would make it a year.

[Miles]

I would not make it that long.

[Ryan]

I did.

[Miles]

Well, it's. It's like there's a. There's always like what? After a month, there's like a sticking point. Either you've done the work beforehand and prepped yourself to be able to go a year longer, or you didn't and you're just gonna die.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So if I. If I have all the things to be able to set myself up for a long time term thing, I feel like once you make it past a month, you can make it a lot longer.

[Tyler]

Well, and you're you have a newer house too? Like your insulation and stuff? Like it's going to be cold in your house, but you're not going to freeze to death in there.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So like you even need a while rig up a fire.

[Miles]

Yeah, not right. Right away.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Like even when it gets negative, whatever. It's still going to be 25, 30 degrees in your house with no heat. So you bundle up, you're going to live.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You're gonna be cold as balls.

[Miles]

But yeah, I mean first thing I have to do is find some formula for my kid.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's.

[Miles]

That's kind of the thing.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah. You got wheat? You can make some.

[Miles]

Good. Maybe just, you know, tell Anne to start pushing. Just start getting those things going.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I.

[Tyler]

You gotta get them on solid foods for when the grid goes out.

[Miles]

I've been trying, dude.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You put like one of those dissolvable whole little things.

[Tyler]

Yogurt deals.

[Miles]

Helps you get into real food. And he just. What the is this? Have you tasted about 50 of the time it ends up out of his mouth.

[Ryan]

Have you tasted it? Is it gross?

[Miles]

The yogurt ones are not very good, but there's like some like other like more cereal type.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Puffs that are pretty good. Tastes like blueberries.

[Tyler]

No. Yeah, we just get the plain frosted ones.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, they sound good.

[Tyler]

My kids are spaz for those. He doesn't want the boob anymore. Anymore. Really just wants food.

[Miles]

Smart man.

[Ryan]

You see though, I mean he's.

[Miles]

He's kind of an idiot actually.

[Ryan]

Like it all comes full circle.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean give me. It's all depends on the sticking point. Am I going to be able to set myself up?

[Tyler]

I think you guys surprise yourselves.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I think I'll say.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's not, it's not like we're starting in the middle of the woods with no supplies.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll say a year. Also my dad's right down the road now too and he, he, he. Him and Luke from the outdoor boards channel. Could they. They're the same person Damn year. So pop seem. Yeah, I got.

[Miles]

I got guns and ammo to handle any siege that would. Looting.

[Tyler]

Looting is going to be an issue when the grid goes down.

[Miles]

Yeah, there'll be looting. I mean it's also like there's a Walmart by my house. I might as well go get some supplies.

[Ryan]

Might as well join in.

[Tyler]

Got to do that ASAP as possible.

[Miles]

All the good stuff doesn't get picked over.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

It's like Black Friday, you know.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And if you. If you wait a little too long, everyone's gonna be there and tensions are going to be high.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Get the catering package from Qdoba or something.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Freeze it.

[Miles]

Jimmy John's little. Little mini sandwiches are nice because then you don't got to cut them up and parcel them out.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's the worst in an apocalypse, having to parcel your sandwiches out.

[Miles]

I know, I know.

[Ryan]

You guys, you gotta get them. You see my. I got them MREs out there.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It's really good that they're here and not at your house.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I know. I'm in this weird transition.

[Miles]

That'd be funny. If this happens. Ryan shows up to get his MREs, and me and Anne and my kid are just all just chowing his food.

[Ryan]

I mean, hey, like, they're. Technically, they're yours right now, I guess.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Fighters keepers.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Also, Bowser, the grid goes down, you go to the grocery store, you're gonna be completely lost.

[Ryan]

Well, hey, not only. Not only. Just unfamiliar with the grocery store, but lights are off. Yeah, it's a. So that's a double whammy right there.

[Miles]

Yeah. I might die sooner than we think. Guys, if you want more, you bet your radio, you gotta check out our Patreon. You gotta go to patreon.com, you betchradio. Or look us up on the app. And we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you got to check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.