The Art of Being a "Good" Husband 🎙 #330

Summary

You Betcha Radio Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast Information:

• Title: You Betcha Radio
• Host/Author: You Betcha
• Episode: The Art of Being a "Good" Husband 🎙 #330
• Release Date: June 11, 2025

Overview: In episode #330 of You Betcha Radio, host Myles and his co-hosts Ryan, Tyler, and Jared delve into the intricacies of being a "good" husband. The conversation weaves through personal anecdotes, Midwestern cultural habits, and the challenges of solo parenting, all delivered with the show's characteristic humor and camaraderie.

---

1. Disposal of the Swim-Up Bar (02:08 - 08:10)

The episode kicks off with Myles sharing the bittersweet news of finally disposing of the family's swim-up bar—a nostalgic fixture at their lakehouse.

• Myles: "It’s the end of an era." [02:14]

The team discusses the logistical challenges they faced, including the impact of winter ice and the heavy lifting required to remove the structure.

• Ryan: "Ice is strong." [02:52]

They brainstorm creative solutions to prevent future damage, such as enhancing flotation mechanisms, showcasing their typical Midwestern resourcefulness.

---

2. Midwestern Reuse Culture (07:28 - 12:00)

The conversation shifts to the quintessential Midwestern trait of reusing and repurposing household items instead of discarding them.

• Tyler: "Essentially everything has four purposes." [07:31]

Examples include:

• Ryan: "2 by fours, ice cream buckets, coffee cans." [08:43]
• Myles: "Any nice structural box. Can't throw that away." [09:09]

The hosts humorously recount various household items they've salvaged and reused, emphasizing sustainability and practicality.

---

3. Solo Dad Weekend: Miles' Experience (17:59 - 37:56)

A significant portion of the episode focuses on Miles' first solo weekend as a dad, highlighting the challenges and triumphs of parenting alone.

• Myles: "The last thing I wanted my wife to do after this weekend was be like, 'I guess I can't go away anymore.'" [18:15]

Key discussions include:

• Maintaining Composure: Miles shares how he managed his child’s tantrums without letting his wife know he was struggling.

  • Ryan: "You can't admit that." [18:51]

• Problem-Solving Under Pressure: Strategies Miles employed to soothe his child, such as applying lotion for itchiness instead of napping issues.

  • Myles: "It took me 45 minutes to an hour to figure that out." [19:24]

• Husband-Wife Dynamics: The hosts explore how husbands often strive to prove their worth to their wives through actions rather than words.

  • Tyler: "Fixing things without telling her how many YouTube videos I watched." [21:40]
  • Jared: Sharing his experience with fixing the toilet flusher while keeping his effort minimal to maintain his image.

This segment offers relatable insights for listeners navigating similar roles, emphasizing communication, effort, and the desire to support one’s partner.

---

4. Team Interaction and Tyler’s Health Update (37:57 - 43:33)

Midway through, the hosts address an unexpected situation where Ryan steps out due to feeling sick, leading to light-hearted speculation about Tyler's well-being.

• Myles: "This is now episode one. Should we talk about Bird Box?" [30:46]

They humorously navigate the absence, integrating jokes about puking and workplace camaraderie, while expressing genuine concern for their colleague Tyler, who is dealing with migraines.

• Ryan: "It's a nightmare situation. I felt phenomenal." [35:35]
• Myles: "Thoughts and prayers to Tyler." [42:19]

---

5. Husband-Wife Relationship Dynamics (40:58 - 62:03)

Returning to the main theme, the hosts delve deeper into the dynamics of proving oneself as a good husband, sharing personal stories and advice.

• Ryan: "There's no better feeling in a marriage than 'That's why I married you.'" [36:27]
• Myles: "Someday I'll get one." [37:20]

They discuss various scenarios where husbands attempt to demonstrate their value, from fixing household issues to handling unexpected challenges, all while maintaining a humorous tone.

• Jared: "It's a two-way street." [36:43]

---

6. Audience Engagement and Patreon Highlights (62:03 - 84:10)

The episode transitions to engaging the audience with patron questions and updates from their exclusive Patreon content, including interactions with prison pen pals.

• Myles: "You gotta check out our Patreon. You betcha Radio." [47:21]

They also tackle fun segments like "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" and discuss upcoming content, maintaining an interactive and inclusive atmosphere for their listeners.

Additionally, the hosts explore topics like flags and camping, blending educational content with their signature humor.

• Jared: "The flag of Denmark is the oldest currently used flag in the world." [72:30]

---

7. Final Remarks and Closing (84:10 - End)

Wrapping up, the hosts share light-hearted banter about personal habits and humorous anecdotes, reinforcing the show's friendly and relatable vibe.

• Myles: "You deliver good content." [78:07]

They encourage listeners to join their Patreon for more exclusive content and express their appreciation for the audience's support.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Myles: "It’s the end of an era." [02:14]
• Tyler: "Essentially everything has four purposes." [07:31]
• Ryan: "Ice is strong." [02:52]
• Myles: "The last thing I wanted my wife to do after this weekend was be like, 'I guess I can't go away anymore.'" [18:15]
• Ryan: "You can't admit that." [18:51]
• Tyler: "Fixing things without telling her how many YouTube videos I watched." [21:40]
• Ryan: "There's no better feeling in a marriage than 'That's why I married you.'" [36:27]
• Jared: "It's a two-way street." [36:43]

Conclusion: Episode #330 of You Betcha Radio masterfully combines humor with heartfelt discussions about marital roles, parental responsibilities, and Midwestern values. Through engaging dialogues and relatable stories, the hosts offer listeners both entertainment and meaningful insights into the art of being a good husband.

Transcript

[Miles]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of you Bet, your radio podcast. We're here. We're ready to roll. Jared's got his, what I like to say a. You basically look like the main character of the show. You right now. Yeah.

[Ryan]

You got a new hat on.

[Miles]

A hat with no logo on it.

[Ryan]

It is.

[Tyler]

He's an attractive man, but a bad personality comparison.

[Jared]

I'll take that.

[Ryan]

Spoiler alert. He's a lover turned stalker.

[Jared]

Oh, okay.

[Miles]

Murderer.

[Tyler]

Multiple.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Serial killer, essentially.

[Tyler]

Yeah, He's. He's. Yep. Before.

[Miles]

So I didn't want to say that you look like a serial killer with a logo. A hat without a logo on it, but I guess that's the way that it came out.

[Tyler]

You throw a pair of aviators on him. He is every Marvel superhero ever trying to blend in.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Undercover cop vibes unidentifiable though, with the. The blank hat. Because then you just throw a logo on it after you commit a crime and then you can't slap one on, you know?

[Jared]

Shave my beard?

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

I think I get away with the crime pretty easily.

[Tyler]

You do look very different. No beard.

[Jared]

Yeah. Shave my eyebrow maybe or something.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, you could get away with pissing in public, no problem.

[Jared]

Yeah. That's the biggest crime.

[Ryan]

Wow. You get thrown in jail for that.

[Miles]

I'm sure.

[Ryan]

Especially if it's on a school. If it's on a playground.

[Jared]

It depends where you're at.

[Tyler]

If you turn your back to the playground, it's not exposure.

[Ryan]

That's true, Tyler.

[Jared]

That's a good point.

[Ryan]

That's true.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You got to be within like. Yeah, yeah. Like the. The horizon arc of visibility.

[Miles]

Yeah. If you. If you ever end up in a public urination situation, you just say, how could you? How did you know that I was pissing? Did you have binoculars? How did you see it? There's no way you saw it from 200 yards away.

[Ryan]

Yeah. What if you, like, accidentally piss your pants in public? Is that public urination?

[Tyler]

You are urinating in public.

[Ryan]

It's not public indecency, but it is suppose public urination.

[Miles]

I don't think so. I think that's just embarrassing.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's true.

[Jared]

That's a crime. Enough.

[Miles]

Yeah. Wow. Thanks for taking us there, Ryan.

[Ryan]

No problem.

[Miles]

Appreciate that. It's always good. Got some sad news for the boys, actually.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah?

[Miles]

I. We at the lake. We finally disposed of the swim up bar.

[Tyler]

Really sad, dude.

[Miles]

Not by our own choice. I know. It sounds like. It's like my mom made us get rid of it. That wasn't the case either we. It's in the water during the season, then we pull it up on the shore and then we drag it back out because it's so heavy. Like, we're not going to, like, put it in storage. So we just put on the shore.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And over the winter, the ice pushed up against it and shattered it.

[Ryan]

Ice is strong.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So, yeah, the whole base, the table thing shattered. One of the legs of the benches came off. And my uncle asked me, he's like, you should just use like landscaping glue and glue it back together.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I think this is just a sign from the gods to just. It's over. I think if we're gonna piece. I mean, the. The base of this thing was. Was in 14 pieces for us to get out there, like doing a puzzle and be like, wow, these guys are alcoholics.

[Tyler]

How was the tabletop?

[Miles]

Tabletop is fine because we take that off and bring it up.

[Tyler]

I was gonna say you could figure out some sort of flotation device and just anchor that bad boy.

[Miles]

Some. Some like five gallon or not five gallon, 50 gallon drums. Yeah, whatever. Underneath it. Like a raft.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

It's actually not bad.

[Tyler]

You got that hole in the middle. You can make an anchor so it goes with the waves.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I think I got access to a couple.

[Miles]

Good idea. That's a really good idea. I'll report back. Well, yeah, after I pitch this idea.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

Because you could put two of them underneath in the center so then you can walk all the way around and they're not in your way. Good idea. And you.

[Ryan]

I mean, you can't keep. You haven't disposed of it yet, like. Yeah, I'll take a couple years maybe.

[Miles]

No, we dispose of the. The everything except for the tabletop. They were heavy. Do you just pull it?

[Ryan]

Oh, you should have just pulled it straight out in the lake.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Structure. Put it off the end of your dock.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Be a good crappy spot.

[Miles]

It'll be good once my kid starts jumping off the end of the dock.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Sharp concrete edges with fiberglass in it glued together. Yeah. So. Yeah. End of an era.

[Ryan]

End of possibly the beginning of a new one.

[Miles]

That is true.

[Ryan]

Depending on where your head goes.

[Tyler]

Tough to keep miles from drinking in water.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

The final way.

[Miles]

Yeah. My wife's probably happy about it.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I mean. Yeah. It didn't even like, miss a baptism that one time or you missed church. You missed something because you were just shit.

[Miles]

That was at a wedding. Oh. And it was the welcome dinner. Okay. It wasn't like it was a groom's dinner or anything like that.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Although I did miss getting to pet.

[Ryan]

A donkey, so that's an issue.

[Miles]

That was a huge.

[Jared]

Damn it.

[Ryan]

You'd have made a jackass yourself anyway.

[Miles]

Hey, yeah, I, I'm, I, I, I repented since.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I didn't mean.

[Miles]

Here, bringing that up.

[Ryan]

I didn't, I didn't intend to.

[Miles]

So. Yeah. End of an era. Sorry to see it go, but like the, the floating now, you know, floating swim up bar.

[Tyler]

Soon enough, this thing's gonna have a trolling motor on it. It's gonna be the driving swim up.

[Miles]

Bar, and then it's just gonna be a pontoon.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

Yeah, we just invent a pontoon.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Very.

[Miles]

Really?

[Tyler]

We took a stone age pontoon.

[Miles]

Literally the one, the one hole in our table is, you know, are we, you know, standing the whole time or, you know, are we gonna fashion some sort of seat? But it could be kind of interesting. Maybe you get like some floating chair, Like a blow up thing.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, could be good Little pool floaty.

[Ryan]

How heavy is this top?

[Miles]

And then you just tie that to the table.

[Tyler]

You anchor yourself to the anchor table.

[Jared]

Yeah, a lot of anchors.

[Ryan]

Be a good river. We'll be a good river. Floating apparatus as well.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Float down the river.

[Miles]

Concrete tabletop. Floating down the river. Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

[Ryan]

We'll get one of these. You guys, we got a long ways to go still. How, how heavy does this top weigh? A couple hundred pounds.

[Miles]

Probably 100, 150.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Jared]

Size of Ryan, basically.

[Ryan]

Come on, dude.

[Miles]

Far off. Buck 80, 30 pounds off ain't bad. So anyways, that was my sad news today.

[Tyler]

It is.

[Miles]

Could be worse, could be better, could.

[Jared]

Be a lot better.

[Miles]

But we're dealing with it.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

But this is classic Midwest of us. Midwesterners love trying to reuse, reduce. Midwesterners love to reuse stuff.

[Tyler]

Essentially everything has four purposes.

[Miles]

So you know what we tried to do with the tops of the benches? Use them as steps.

[Ryan]

That's.

[Miles]

Yep, yep. Next to the dock, you know, you need a good set of stairs going up to the dock. So we laid it out and very quickly realized this is not going to work.

[Ryan]

And in turn, you're just creating more work for yourself.

[Miles]

But it was just, you could just see the pain in my dad's eyes, in my brother's eyes, to be like, we're going to throw away this perfectly good bench top. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Well, you could have just, you got to put them on Facebook Marketplace for free so they find a new home.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

You're not getting ready. You're not tossing them at that point. They're finding new use somewhere else.

[Miles]

So, yeah, that was just classic Midwest. Just. What can we use? I mean, that's how the table got in the water in the first place.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Because was it. It was your guys, like, picnic table on the patio or something? Wasn't.

[Miles]

It was just a regular table and chairs that wouldn't blow away in the wind. And then we're, like, getting rid of it. Like, well, what if we put it in the water? Right. Because, like, what else do people like? What's. What do you think is the most common common reused thing that Midwesterners use?

[Ryan]

2 by fours.

[Tyler]

2 by fours. Ice cream buckets.

[Ryan]

Ice cream.

[Miles]

Ice cream buckets. They just can't throw them away.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Coffee cans.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

Coffee cans. It can't throw them away.

[Tyler]

Any jars, salsa jar, jam jar. Those all get saved.

[Ryan]

Yeah, those.

[Miles]

Throw them away.

[Ryan]

Yep. IPhone boxes.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we're not reusing those, but we're not getting rid of them.

[Miles]

Any nice. Any nice structural box. Can't throw that away.

[Ryan]

Oh, God. No, I mean, it. IPhone box is a great place to put your rainy day fund where your significant other can't find it, because no one's gonna throw an iPhone box away. So it's true.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, I feel like. I feel like a Midwesterner's never thrown away a broom. Even if it's, like, the most tattered thing ever, it just, like, gets moved to a less important area.

[Tyler]

It has to be, like.

[Miles]

Right.

[Tyler]

Shattered.

[Miles]

Yeah. So if you got a nice, like, kitchen broom, you know, like the ones that are kind of like, angled on the ends that are thinner.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Once that starts going bad, it then becomes the garage broom. And then once it gets too tattered for that, it goes to the shed. Yeah. And then after that, it just becomes something you use to help clean your gutters. So it just never gets. I don't think anyone, any. No Midwestern has ever thrown away a broom.

[Ryan]

Well, no, and I. And I mean, you could also attach it to the back of your lawnmower to stripe your stripe.

[Miles]

That's true. Yes.

[Ryan]

You know, there's. There's always something you can't throw away.

[Miles]

A good broom. No.

[Ryan]

Oh, I had a. A pooper scooper, like the. The rake park the. The rate rake part. It's like a steel rake on the end. Just little. I don't know, probably like 5, 6 inches long. The handle broke off. And my. My oldest boy, he's always. He's wanted a rake. He wants to just rake the dirt. So I just found a nice straight stick and duct taped that baby.

[Miles]

Right.

[Tyler]

Perfect.

[Ryan]

So it's went. It's. It's raked enough dirt now to where I. I think all the. Has fallen off into the yard. So we should be good. It's sanitary now.

[Jared]

Fertilize it too.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

They use an old broom for Halloween, you know.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's true.

[Jared]

Great decoration.

[Miles]

Great for getting cobwebs out places after Halloween.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I have a little. So it's a busted ass broom. I just kept the actual sweepy part and that's what I used to clean off my workbench.

[Miles]

It's now a hand broom.

[Ryan]

Hand broom, yeah.

[Miles]

God, it's just. Nothing's ever getting thrown away. What is the one thing that Midwesterners do? Throw away.

[Ryan]

Boxes?

[Tyler]

No, I save those.

[Ryan]

You do?

[Tyler]

Yeah, I save. I keep all my cardboard. Maybe find a use for it.

[Ryan]

Maybe all of your cardboard?

[Tyler]

Pretty much.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

He doesn't order. His wife doesn't order off Amazon like ours.

[Tyler]

I keep everything, all the brown cardboard, like diaper boxes. And I don't keep that though. It gets recycled.

[Ryan]

So. So what do you use it for? Like laying fish and shit?

[Tyler]

Yep. Either starting fires or like cleaning animals.

[Ryan]

Yeah. God damn it.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that is a great use.

[Miles]

You gotta have some good cardboard laying around for fires.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah. Big, big stack in the corner of the garage.

[Ryan]

And at what point do you start? Okay, maybe I gotta burn a little bit of this. I'm getting. I'm. I got a lot of cardboard.

[Tyler]

It gets out of hand. I end up burning more cardboard than is need necessary to burn.

[Miles]

If you just have a cardboard fire, you don't even put any wood in it.

[Tyler]

I'm getting to the point.

[Miles]

Cardboard. Yeah.

[Ryan]

I mean, that's my burn barrel. It's purely cardboard.

[Miles]

All boys prize picks, times of the weeks here and right now. If you sign up with code YBR, you get $50 instantly when you play your first $5 lineup. You don't need to win your lineup to receive the $50 bonus. It's just guaranteed. Do we get any slip picks this.

[Tyler]

Week just from me?

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Share your slip pick with us, Tyler.

[Tyler]

20 bucks to win 460 a six legger on the PGA. Kevin Kisner, Harry Higgs, Cam Young, Tom Kim, Adam Hadwin and Wyndham Clark. I got the strokes right on all of them.

[Miles]

Did you flex play or power play?

[Tyler]

I flex played it.

[Miles]

So you would have won even more if you Would have nut it up and power played it like a real man.

[Tyler]

It would have been like 750, $20 to win. 750 if I had a power played it.

[Miles]

400 and some dollars. You said you won?

[Tyler]

Yep. 460.

[Miles]

That's a car payment right there. Throwing the insurance whoopsies.

[Jared]

Insurance?

[Miles]

I don't know. Depends on what car you got.

[Tyler]

That's about right.

[Miles]

So Tyler, well, since you are on a hot streak, why don't you lead us off. What is your pick for this week?

[Tyler]

My pick for this week is Lou dort. More than 11 and a half points and assists. Got to toggle that one up.

[Miles]

Red devil. He's feeling hot. Jared.

[Jared]

Pascal Siaka. More than six defensive rebounds.

[Miles]

Okay. A little doctor little defensive rebounds action.

[Jared]

A lot of miss shots.

[Ryan]

Well, Dr. Six.

[Miles]

Yeah, exactly. Ryan chat homie.

[Ryan]

Chad Holmgren. Less than eight rebounds.

[Miles]

Less than eight rebounds.

[Ryan]

Kind of a jet haters because he hasn't. I mean he hasn't. His. His rebound plus assist line is like nine and a half and he hasn't even hit over seven in the last five games.

[Jared]

Good luck.

[Ryan]

So this is just rebounds.

[Tyler]

That means he's due.

[Ryan]

No, that's what I always think.

[Miles]

Isn't Chad Holm? Isn't he have no body mass? Isn't he a twig?

[Ryan]

He's from Minnesota too, huh?

[Jared]

Yeah, he's twig.

[Miles]

He's twig. He's got zero body mass. Good luck in a defensive rebound with no body mass.

[Jared]

Yeah, exactly.

[Tyler]

Does it count non basketball guy, does it count as a defensive rebound if he's just like chilling past the three point line and it bounces like bricks off the rim all the way out to him. He's gonna get nine of those on accident. Now.

[Miles]

My way, my pick is Alex Caruso. More than nine points.

[Tyler]

I like it. Straightforward.

[Ryan]

Yeah, but it just.

[Miles]

Just give me just double digits. I also don't. Yeah, just double digits. The NBA finals show up.

[Jared]

It's time.

[Miles]

Just show up. All right. So guys, you can roll with us. We got Caruso. Chet. You betcha. Luke Dort, Pascal Siakam Shah.

[Tyler]

You bet.

[Miles]

The weatherman and news guy on fairly oddparents names Chet. You betcha. So roll with us. You can all sign up. Code YBR. When you sign up, you get $50 with your first five dollar lineup. Good luck this week.

[Ryan]

Good luck.

[Miles]

Yeah, I had work camp. My one work camp task this weekend at the lake because it was time to relax the lake. So naturally there was a downed tree. So we cut that baby up and Made some firewood. So now I just gotta wait for us to dry out a couple years.

[Tyler]

It takes that long a summer?

[Ryan]

It does, yeah.

[Miles]

It takes a while.

[Ryan]

It takes probably five years.

[Miles]

Future Miles is going to be very happy with me that I did that.

[Ryan]

Four or five years. Usually when you just get to it, you know, you gotta develop a game plan in four to five years before you can get to it.

[Tyler]

You just got to get to it before it's all wet and rotted out.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So behind my garage there's like a shed that the guy who used to own the cabin before me put his lawnmower in. But at some point the roof got caved in. It's like a tin metal roof.

[Tyler]

Like a lean to.

[Miles]

No.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

It's just a shed that caved in.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Metal tin roof.

[Miles]

Yeah. So it caved in, whatever. But like, it's still a really good shed. Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

I mean, yeah. I can't throw a shed away.

[Miles]

No. Like it has elect has a light bulb in it. It's like got electricity to it. The door doesn't work, but that's where I put all the wood. Now I got a wood shed out.

[Tyler]

Oh yeah, you got a thinking shed.

[Ryan]

How do you get the door open?

[Miles]

You just clearly got a crank on.

[Jared]

It, spaz on it.

[Miles]

And then I did spaz on and I broke one of the doors. So now it's just like there's a latch that holds it and if you unlatch it, the one door will just fall in.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you could just take those.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that door becomes firewood eventually.

[Miles]

Yeah. But I was thinking, I was like, God, that shed looks tattered and whatever. But then I'm like, why would I? We can't throw that away. We can't. I can't put up a new shed. There's already power to it.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's true. Well, then you got to deal with. Yeah. All the power, the buried lines and. Yeah, you don't even want to think about that.

[Miles]

So. Yeah, there's a hole in the roof. So I know what you're thinking. To put to dry out firewood in a shed with a hole in the roof. Not a great idea. So we just put it in the one corner.

[Tyler]

You put it in a shed and then tarp it anyway.

[Jared]

To shelter.

[Ryan]

I have flex seal would work on the ceiling.

[Miles]

That actually is true. Just take a. I sawed my shed in half.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you could find a use for it.

[Miles]

That was a big weekend at the. Getting rid of that. Get cutting down a tree or chopping up a down tree. And this weekend was the first time I was with my kid for a weekend without Anne. Oh.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

Daddy daycare.

[Ryan]

Kill it for us. How'd it go?

[Miles]

So first time? Actually just solo dad for more than like, 12 hours.

[Ryan]

Your kid's like, what, 4 or 5 years old?

[Tyler]

Something like that.

[Miles]

Yeah, He's. He's. He's almost one.

[Ryan]

Solid foods.

[Miles]

Solid foods.

[Ryan]

Okay, nice.

[Miles]

And. But here's the thing about guys. I feel like husbands. Husbands love to prove to their wife why they married them, and this was the greatest opportunity for that. Last thing I wanted my wife to do after this weekend was be like, well, I guess I can't go away anymore. More so, even when was hitting the fan, my kid wasn't napping and throwing a temper tantrum. I didn't. I didn't say one lick about it.

[Tyler]

No, you can't admit that.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you can't. You can't let her know that you don't have it under control.

[Tyler]

Everything always goes in your report back significantly smoother than it actually.

[Miles]

100%.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You think? Tyler told us.

[Miles]

And you always act like you knew exactly what to do. Right. So even if you're like, yeah, he just wouldn't take a nap. But I easily figured out the fact that he was too warm and, you know, needed some lotion on his face. It was itchy, you know, all that. I easily deduct that, even though it took me 45 minutes to an hour to figure that out.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I just. I didn't have the lavender diffuser plugged in.

[Miles]

Yeah. You know, like. And then you just make stuff up like, yeah, God, he might be transitioning into one nap. I think that was probably it.

[Tyler]

So we worked on that.

[Miles]

It wasn't the fact that I missed the window to put him down, and so he got over tired, and then therefore, he just wouldn't sleep at all.

[Ryan]

So.

[Tyler]

He's so tired. He was so awake.

[Miles]

But I feel like that's in husband's nature is they're constantly looking for opportunities to show their wife why they married him.

[Tyler]

We got to remind him that we're.

[Miles]

Still that guy, you know, like, secretly got secretly. Husbands are hoping that they get a little lost so that they can prove to their wife that they have great navigational skills and thus. This is why you married.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. We don't need that gps. You got me correct this shortcut I found.

[Miles]

You know, moss grows on the north side of the tree, so we gotta head this way. Whatever it is. I don't Think it's true, but if you say it confidently.

[Ryan]

I've heard something like it.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I don't know what direction is, but I think you're.

[Miles]

Something like that. I don't think it grows on the north side up here because the sun's on the south side. But that's the thing. You just follow the sun. Now at the equator, you're fucked. But you don't know which way is which.

[Ryan]

I just follow the North Star. Wait till it gets dark, and you.

[Miles]

Wait till it's dark.

[Jared]

It's going to wait 12 hours.

[Ryan]

Big Dipper, Little Dipper. It's all up in the sky. If you guys ever have questions up in the air. It's up in the air.

[Miles]

Like, that's why. That's why guys like grilling is because they can prove to their wife that they have the primal caveman nature, that they can cook something over a fire. This is why you married me. I can provide you with slabs of meat.

[Ryan]

Well, 75 of us.

[Tyler]

I kill it. Then she can cook it.

[Ryan]

Yeah. But if it's anything like. And like the chicken that you tell us about, then she's.

[Tyler]

She's much, much better cooked than the chicken era that you heard, and that's.

[Ryan]

Why she married you. What are other someone.

[Miles]

To be honest, what are other ways that guys are trying to improve?

[Tyler]

I feel like fixing, like, washing machine broke down. I don't need to tell her how many YouTube videos I watched to figure it out. I just. I figured it out and that's all that matters.

[Miles]

Correct. Yeah. And, you know, you act a little bit like you're annoyed you gotta do this, but secretly, deep down, you're excited to prove your worth.

[Tyler]

Yes. But then you, like, start to. You're in halfway through the fix, like, oh, am I actually gonna be able to figure this out? Or am I going to prove to her that I'm not worth it?

[Miles]

Well, and that's. I think that's part of it. When you. When you do have to throw on the towel and call someone, you. It's not the fact. It's not always the fact that you have to call someone. That's the depressing part. The depressing part is you weren't able to prove to her why she married. Like, she could have called someone.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

She doesn't need you if you're just gonna call a plumber to come figure it out.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But if you can fix it, then you're like, you need me around, see.

[Ryan]

Well, yeah. I also think it's just a good second Opinion too. Second opinion on whether you did it right the first time or not, whether you even did anything or not. It's just you're. You're getting someone professional to come and take a look at it. She doesn't even know that you didn't do anything.

[Jared]

Yeah, our toilet flusher was like really stiff and wasn't working. And I fixed it. But I didn't tell her how many times I went to the hardware store to fix it. She's like, yeah, it's fixed now.

[Miles]

Yeah, very smart.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

I married you.

[Jared]

I got taken care of when you were gone.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's the same. I told the story about the. The washer wasn't working, and I said, honey, you take a shower. I'll handle that while you're showering. Just had to flip the breaker. But I didn't, I didn't flip the breaker and then run in there and say, I flipped the breaker. That was a fix it. I just waltzed in there all confident and said, washer's fix, honey, I'll be.

[Jared]

Downstairs, hand the ball to the ref.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Jared]

Go back to the huddle.

[Ryan]

And I mean, what you could have done too, is it just keep the breaker. That's, that's easy. That's in your back pocket for later. But I mean, you had to, like, rewire things from all the way from like the control box all the way back upstairs to the, to the washer. And, and, and yeah, I mean, I.

[Miles]

Had to take off the control panel of the washer. And yeah, I had to do the thing.

[Ryan]

That's a slippery slope, though, because then she's gonna think that you can actually fix.

[Tyler]

You can handle more than you can.

[Miles]

Wives didn't know that the breaker box existed. They would think that we are wizards. I feel like 50% of the fixes I have to do at my house are just checking the breaker.

[Ryan]

I mean, that's step number one, turn it off, turn back on type of deal. God, I had one. Oh. So it's just by default. I. I've just been hanging all the pictures in our place. It was a couple weekends ago. I was gone. So my wife wanted to hang some pictures and she wanted to hang them like in, like this. So four pictures in a square where you have to have, you know, equal distance between the side to side, up and down.

[Miles]

It's a tough hanging project.

[Ryan]

It is very tough. And I got home and she's like, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

[Tyler]

Hell, yeah.

[Ryan]

That's why you married Me.

[Miles]

That is true. Yeah. Have them do some of the projects to show how easy you make it look. Correct. To prove to them why you married us. It's a good point. Unless you have a wife like I have, where she doesn't really care. If one's like a half inch, the gap's not right.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

She just cares more that it's up.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

More than a disaster for me.

[Tyler]

The house numbers, the bench.

[Miles]

Well, no, like, if she hangs something, she just takes her arms like this and then just goes like this. And that's the middle, and that's where I hang. No. Yeah.

[Ryan]

It's not as easy as people say it can be.

[Tyler]

I gotta step out. I'm gonna throw up.

[Ryan]

Go, go.

[Miles]

I just say he had a pitch.

[Jared]

He's.

[Miles]

He's throwing up right now.

[Ryan]

He's sick again.

[Jared]

I think he made it.

[Ryan]

Did he start power walking when he got. Did he start power.

[Miles]

Do you have a portable mic? Let's go see if we get some audio of him.

[Ryan]

P. Yeah. Slide your phone just, like, halfway underneath the. Underneath the bathroom door. Okay.

[Miles]

Well, I would have, like, you know, I understand when you got a puke, you can't really provide context, but I'd love to know if it's like, he just.

[Jared]

You ask all the questions before he leaves.

[Miles]

Well, hold on. Where are you going? You can't just leave. This is a podcast. We need more context. Like, you should be like, you know, do you feel you got the shakes? Is this a flu situation? Did you do what I did? And ate vitamins on an empty stomach? Wait. The suspense is now killing me.

[Ryan]

Can we tell you whether or not we think you're gonna puke or not? Before you go.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. Let's see if your. Your reasons are valid.

[Ryan]

And it all could just be mental. Mental, too. I mean, you could just be thinking you want to puke, which is going to make you puke and turn.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

Well, also the most polite way to say I'm gonna throw up. Didn't you say, like, I have to excuse myself.

[Jared]

I don't have it so quick.

[Ryan]

I gotta. I gotta step out.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Ryan]

I think I'm gonna puke.

[Miles]

I gotta step out.

[Jared]

It's probably got an important phone call.

[Miles]

Or something like, it's. I. You can just say if you got.

[Ryan]

Bad or even if you have to puke, just say you gotta piss bad. That way we don't. You know, we're not sitting here for the next five minutes talking about what's going on.

[Jared]

Yeah, but maybe he's not feeling well. He might leave then for the day.

[Miles]

But he didn't give me any reason to believe that he was feeling sick until that very moment. No. So either he's got a great poker face or this suddenly came on.

[Ryan]

He did start looking a little white in the face.

[Miles]

Did he?

[Ryan]

If I, if I recall correctly, it'll happen so quick.

[Jared]

Well, we're on puke watch, though.

[Ryan]

Okay, well, how do we want to.

[Miles]

I mean, I would have just swallowed it and finish podcast if that was me. Yeah. I don't know.

[Jared]

Just Jordan fl.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, I just want. Anyone got any mouthwash?

[Ryan]

Yeah. You can head home after work. Be like, honey, that's why you married me.

[Miles]

Yeah. Finish the damn job.

[Ryan]

Finish the job, Kobe. Job's not job finished. Job not finished.

[Miles]

Yeah. That being said, I hope he's okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But also I hope he wipes up the toilet what he's done. Just leaves it doesn't even flush. Yeah. I don't if it felt like a puke that he'll be back.

[Jared]

Yeah, Yeah, I know.

[Miles]

You mean it didn't feel like I'm done for the day type of puke.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, he gave us like a puzzle. Pursed lips, smile, kind of like. Yeah, yeah, it was. Yeah, he wasn't.

[Miles]

Vibes I got is he'll be back, so we just need to stall until he gets back.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I hear the door. I think he's coming back.

[Ryan]

We got confirmation. Footsteps at all.

[Jared]

I heard the door open. I didn't. I can't hear.

[Ryan]

He could have just dipped for the day. We'll get a message here.

[Jared]

He does like the Irish. Goodbye.

[Ryan]

He does.

[Miles]

This is a new low on Irish. Good buying, though. Right in the middle of his job just dips out. Yeah, I mean, he's got an hour drive home. What's he going to do?

[Jared]

That's tough.

[Miles]

It's really tough.

[Jared]

Might have to Uber back home.

[Miles]

Yeah. Stay overnight at Jake's.

[Jared]

Puking at Jake's bathroom all night.

[Ryan]

Can you im like, when you're sick, there's nothing worse than having just not being in your own home.

[Miles]

Oh, is he gone?

[Jared]

No, it's just the fellas going for.

[Miles]

Lunch, so we just.

[Ryan]

Maybe t. Is Tyler with him?

[Jared]

No.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

Yeah, when he's going to lunch.

[Ryan]

He's like fire.

[Miles]

I just threw up all my breakfast. I'm hungry. Well, I hope he's okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I, I, he should be. I mean, he's, He's a tough. He's a tough guy.

[Jared]

He's tough.

[Miles]

All right. Jared, you Go do one lap, see if you can find him and get any information from him if he's coming back or not. Could just actually hold on. I just got to notification Buzz, not him.

[Jared]

Okay, I'll check.

[Miles]

Yeah, just do a lap. Wow. I think that might be the first walkout we've ever had, other than someone's got to take a piss.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, he did walk out for the birth of his second child. I don't know if you remember that or not. That was mid podcast.

[Miles]

Was it?

[Ryan]

It was, yeah, I remember that. Yeah. And we, like. We what? You had said, like, you should. You wanted to ask him a couple questions. We did that when he. He was gonna have a second child because we didn't believe him right away. So you're like, you thought this was fake. So I think you. You started asking questions like, I gotta go. Oh, I thought, yeah, yeah, I remember that.

[Miles]

But Ryan, this is now.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

This is now episode one. Should we talk about bird box?

[Ryan]

I have yet to watch it back a second time, but MGK is still a top five.

[Miles]

Or smoke is still settling.

[Jared]

He's still in the bathroom.

[Ryan]

Can you hear?

[Jared]

Couldn't hear anything.

[Ryan]

And no audio or anything.

[Jared]

I didn't want to knock either, because.

[Miles]

You should have got on the ground. Put your ear up to the crack of the door.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I do have, like, a little hang here. Yeah.

[Miles]

Can you. Do we have, like, a Bob Barker type of microphone? We can slide underneath the door to get some audio of what's going on in there?

[Ryan]

I think Price is right is transition to that to the ear microphone. Because that. That. That mike that Bob Barker used to use was insane. That was like two and a half feet long.

[Miles]

I think they still use it.

[Ryan]

Do they really?

[Jared]

Yeah, you just haven't been sick in a while.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's true. Well, Jerry or Tyler will report back to us tomorrow. Bob, if Drew Carey is still using.

[Jared]

The mic, I'm pretty sure he still uses that.

[Ryan]

Okay. Well, it's been that long, huh?

[Jared]

Yeah. So. Yeah, you don't want to knock on the door when somebody's puking. You all right in there? What are they gonna say?

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

It's not like we're gonna offer to hold his hair. He doesn't have any hair. You know. What are we gonna do in there? Wipe his mouth up.

[Jared]

Or you have keys to every room in this building. So you just burst in there?

[Miles]

I could burst in there. God, he'd be pissed. God, he would be pissed. So what do we do now? I think the show goes I was.

[Ryan]

Just gonna say, yeah, I think time has passed. Show's got to go on.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You know, it's kind of like NFL. Guy breaks his leg really bad and everyone's clearly shook up. You gotta still play the game.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

You know, next man up.

[Miles]

Next man up. I think the way he exited gave. He. He was giving us the thumbs up as he was getting rolled off the car. We know that he's okay.

[Ryan]

Did he say I right now?

[Miles]

Actually, it would be nice if we. We haven't gotten a thumbs up yet. It would be nice to get that before. Before I could truly lock the in for the rest podcast, even though I still will. But. Yeah, he's in the blue tent getting figured out right now. He's going to the locker room for X rays.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you should go take his keys off his desk because if he's going to go home, he has to come in here to get his keys and then we can ask questions.

[Miles]

True. Tyler, I got your keys in the pod room. When you're ready, they want you to lose them.

[Ryan]

It could have been delirious after the puke.

[Jared]

I'm a pretty quick puker when I have to puke too. I'm pretty much in and out right away.

[Miles]

Yeah, it depends on how many waves there are. Like the last time I puked, it was like the first time because it's always. You got the most inside you. Yeah, it was probably like 8 to 10 waves. It was terrible.

[Ryan]

Just kept coming and then you're.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Then your. Your cord just gets sore. And then I always have to take like a four to five minute, like kind of like a power nap on the floor because it's nice and cool. I mean, after puking, like cold, clammy skin. Nothing better than laying on the bathroom floor, let alone if it's heated. So usually now. Now I go lay in the garage because it's heated.

[Jared]

I'm just imagining you in a public restroom laying on the floor, and everyone can see you laying down.

[Ryan]

Let's see. New year circuit. Circuit 2018. I ran off the. The party bus into the bar, straight to the bathroom.

[Miles]

Why didn't you just puke it like a bush?

[Ryan]

Because I. That's a good. It was negative 20 out.

[Miles]

Oh, okay.

[Ryan]

It was like minus 20 puking.

[Jared]

And what is that? Cold is pretty awesome, dude.

[Ryan]

So I'll get there. I ran straight back to the bathroom. Luckily, the handicap stall was open. And luckily I didn't see anyone that would need access to that in the bar at that time.

[Miles]

So you had the presence of mind. While you're puking to check to see if there's anyone in a wheelchair.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Just a quick scan. Left, right, left, right. I sat on that pot for 45 minutes with throwing up. And I mean, people are coming. It's New Year's Eve, people coming in and out. I'm just trying to stay as quiet as possible. I don't want people asking questions.

[Miles]

Face.

[Ryan]

No, I. It was. Yeah. No, it wasn't.

[Miles]

So then I can't tell if he's being serious.

[Ryan]

It was. No, I was. I'll tell you later. Oh, so. So then because my skin was so clammy, I mean, it was negative 20 odd. I just went and stood outside for 25, 30 minutes.

[Jared]

So. Good.

[Ryan]

Oh, God. No hat. Nothing. Not. Didn't even get. Didn't even get frostbite. So that was. That was well worth it.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But you feel good?

[Ryan]

Nightmare situation. I felt phenomenal. I think. Yeah. I'd order a drink from the bar when. Sit outside.

[Jared]

Ginger ale.

[Ryan]

Yeah, seven up. My tummy hurts.

[Miles]

If he does come back, we should tell him that we've been waiting for him.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And we've been recording this whole time, too.

[Miles]

So. Anyways, that's why I think husbands do stuff. It's like a break to their wife.

[Ryan]

You know? What's the best, though, is in that, you know, in this overarching topic of husbands proving to their wife why they marry them when they say it before you can. God, I knew. That's why I married you. There is no better feeling in a marriage than that right there. I'll tell you what.

[Miles]

Yeah. I usually have to tell her. Well, that's why you married me.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, I think I've been told that like maybe three or four times. And. Well, it'll be 16 years coming up here and this fall. So the. If you do the math, it's like. That's like once.

[Miles]

Once every since you've been married, how many years you've been married?

[Ryan]

This is year six. Is year six.

[Miles]

Okay. So you get one every two years.

[Ryan]

Yeah, one every two years, which is, you know, pretty good rate.

[Miles]

I've gotten zero in three years.

[Ryan]

I think what you gotta do is you have to show her that you can stay in that bench.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

No, because that one's too far gone. Because it. When I finish, it won't be. That's why I married you. It should be like. Took you longer. That's. That's very true.

[Jared]

That's why I buried you. Yeah.

[Miles]

Someday I'll get One. It's like when you're on the job site and you get an attaboy. It's just a feeling like none other. Yeah, an attaboy from your wife is when she says, that's why I married you. Still chasing that high.

[Jared]

When's the last time you said that to your wife?

[Miles]

You know what? That's a good point.

[Ryan]

Yesterday, I think.

[Jared]

Two way street.

[Miles]

That is true. I'm gonna do that today. I'm gonna force one.

[Ryan]

Yes. Yeah.

[Jared]

Did you get the mail today? That's why I married.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's like, did you keep our son alive today? That's why I married you.

[Jared]

It's truthful, too.

[Ryan]

Did you scrub out my skid marks because I had to leave so quickly out of the house? That's why I married you.

[Miles]

I won't say that one. Well, should we take a break and see what's going on with Tyler?

[Jared]

Yeah, now I'm getting worried.

[Miles]

All right, guys, we had a discussion with Tyler and it's terminal. No, I'm just kidding.

[Ryan]

His day is terminal.

[Miles]

This day is terminal. He's not coming back. I would have come back. He's not. Ryan, I think would have came back.

[Ryan]

I'd have came back. Well, or. Yeah, I'd have sent you a video of me actually throwing up.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Just before I left.

[Miles]

Just for proof. Could have thrown that in the water cooler. Talk on Patreon. Video of you puking.

[Jared]

Ryan, Besides you. A photo from 2018 New Year's of him puking.

[Ryan]

It's not even gonna be time stamped. So.

[Miles]

The. The doctor's in. He has a migraine and caused him to throw up.

[Jared]

They suck. To be fair.

[Miles]

Yeah. No, I'm with you. I. I get it.

[Ryan]

Never had one.

[Jared]

They suck.

[Miles]

I feel like I have one, but I was exercise. Exercise induced.

[Ryan]

Really?

[Miles]

Yeah. Maybe it was just like a really bad headache or brain hemorrhage or something. But in high school, we would do this thing where we would max. We would. We would burn out on leg press with as much weight as we possibly could.

[Ryan]

Okay. Yeah.

[Miles]

And it was so hard. You're just loading it up with weight and then people are spotting you and you just literally leg press. Heavy weight until you can't leg press anymore.

[Ryan]

Could have been a strained muscle or something.

[Miles]

And afterwards, I. I'm pretty sure I had a migraine. Just light was terrible. Head was throbbing. Whatever. Yeah, that's the only one ever. But yeah, he has these. It's a whole thing. Once in a while he seems to. I. And I asked him like, can you keep this, you know, at bay somehow? Is there some sort of meds and stuff? And he says he's kind of tried it all and they'll just come here and there. It's just how migraines work.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Might have to get some chiropractic work done or something.

[Miles]

But he didn't look good. He didn't look good. He definitely needs to go home. But also hard to drive an hour with a migraine as well, so I don't know. Might have to get a bus to take the bus home.

[Jared]

Ryan's gonna have to drive him home.

[Ryan]

I got work to do. Remember the whole house situation. He wanted to come in and take it to. I don't have time to take it to her. We gotta get back to work. It's two in the afternoon on like a Tuesday.

[Miles]

So he's. He's catching some darkness right now, you know, because. Sensitivity light of the migraines. We told him to go sit in the dark room.

[Jared]

Yeah. Darkness retreat. Like Aaron Rodgers.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. So Tyler is taking a darkness retreat sabbatical currently. And I just want you guys let's. You know, we need to get well soon for Tyler in the comments. Yeah, get well soon, Tyler.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we could put a Facebook status out saying like anyone going from Fargo to the DL area today.

[Miles]

That would be nice. Yeah. Can I catch a ride?

[Ryan]

Yeah, can I catch a ride from you?

[Jared]

I feel like nobody ever comments back on those.

[Ryan]

No, no. Or like any. Hey, in need of an emergency babysitter. Anyone available? This like, the only people that comment are the ones that are like, oh, God, I wish I was closer so I could.

[Jared]

Right.

[Ryan]

It's like, just comment.

[Jared]

Nothing.

[Ryan]

Don't comment because I'm looking for a ride. My buddies needs to get home bad, so. And I. I don't know. The migraine could be if fume induced from starting his pickup inside.

[Jared]

Oh, it's a connecting dots here.

[Miles]

Even though it's the middle of summer and he wouldn't be starting his truck in the garage.

[Ryan]

Well, yeah, getting the AC going.

[Miles]

That's the thing. Okay, got it.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It says it's so hot right away in the morning.

[Jared]

You never know.

[Miles]

You never know. So. Yeah. Todd be all right.

[Ryan]

T's and peas.

[Miles]

Thoughts and prayers to Tyler. We were going to actually this second portion of the podcast was going to be the game. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? But now being postponed.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

We need Tyler here.

[Jared]

Got a rain delay because this is.

[Miles]

We do this annually as well.

[Jared]

No, we. We've only Done it on Patreon once. We've never done it on.

[Miles]

And who won on Patreon?

[Jared]

Oh, I'd have to look. I think Tyler did win.

[Miles]

God damn it. Let's do it right now, then.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

No, I'm just kidding. Tyler does know the most useless knowledge.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I mean that. Yeah, that. Hands down. Absolutely.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I mean, he. Yeah, he can spell. What mischievous, whoopty do.

[Jared]

No, he spelled. I can't remember now what he spelled. Right.

[Ryan]

Testosterone. Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Anyway.

[Jared]

Anyway.

[Miles]

No, he spelled that wrong. Testerone.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He can build swords.

[Miles]

Yeah. So next week we'll be playing are you smarter than a fifth grader? That's if Tyler's recovered by then.

[Jared]

Yeah. These migraines can last a while.

[Miles]

Yeah. If I were him, I'd milk it at least a week.

[Ryan]

Yeah. They just treated as another paternity leave.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Type deal.

[Jared]

Well, thank God it's cloudy today. That'll help the migraine.

[Ryan]

That's true.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

He could piggyback a vasectomy onto the migraine.

[Jared]

Or he could just work the night shift. That. You betcha.

[Miles]

Yeah, we could have him come back tonight.

[Ryan]

That's true.

[Miles]

Get his hours in. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Not a bad idea, actually.

[Jared]

Let's drive all the way there. Back.

[Miles]

What would he even do?

[Ryan]

Oh, I got. Yeah, I got. I'll get a list put together.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

A lot of cleaning we need to do.

[Miles]

You got time to lean, you got time to clean.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's a situation where you get it. Hey, that's why I hired you.

[Miles]

Yeah. Honestly, Text him and tell him to start cleaning the dark room as he's in there.

[Ryan]

Yeah, whatever. Oh, well, whatever.

[Miles]

Because if he's got time to sit in the dark room, he's got time to clean the dark room.

[Ryan]

Should I call him?

[Miles]

Do not. He's so mad. There's, like, three. I feel like there's, like, three things that get. That get Tyler instantly riled up is, one, grilling. We know that.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Two, anything with his kids, he. It becomes irrationally mad. Which I get. But also, like, sometimes you can't even joke, which respect. He loves his kids. Yeah.

[Ryan]

As he should.

[Miles]

And the third one is I feel like when Tyler's not in the mood to joke around. He is not in the mood.

[Ryan]

Correct. And for some reason, I feel the need to joke around even more.

[Miles]

I know. And it's terrible for your guys's relationship.

[Ryan]

I know. I think this is part of it. I'm just kind of like a. You know, even though I'm older, it's just like a little brother type deal. I'm older size wise, I guess. Little brother. You did miss one too. Tyler, he hates when people. When he's eating lunch and somebody comments on it. Ah, chicken marsala today. I see what your wife make it. Like, if you comment on his lunch.

[Miles]

What does he do?

[Jared]

He gets mad.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Like what?

[Ryan]

Like he gets. He gets so annoyed, he won't even answer.

[Jared]

He hates talking about what he's having for lunch today or how he prepared his lunch. Anything to do with his lunch.

[Miles]

Why?

[Jared]

I don't know.

[Miles]

I. I will say I can't wait to ask him about his lunch tomorrow.

[Ryan]

It is. It is annoying when like, you're trying to eat lunch and like just decompress a little bit and someone comes up and tries talking to you about your leftovers from last night. Just, it's. It's unnecessary. Enough with the.

[Miles]

I guess as the guy who runs the business, I don't hold lunch as sacred maybe as you guys do.

[Ryan]

No, probably not.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Lunch is always just a means to an end. It's not like a time for me to decompress. Like maybe for you guys.

[Ryan]

Yeah, Well, I think that's why Tyler doesn't eat lunch a lot either. He just. You just have like a granola bar, so it's boom, boom. No time to ask him where he got that granola bar from, how much it costs, and, you know, but he'll.

[Jared]

Go to like a very private room and eat lunch.

[Ryan]

I never even see him.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's. It's not strange. Like, I get it, but it's just not the way I'm wired.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I don't know.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah, I guess. And now you're saying is he'll eat down here in the conference room.

[Jared]

Correct.

[Ryan]

If I got.

[Miles]

What do you think he's. What? Like, is it just because he hates people or is it because, like, he just wants to like, go on his phone? Like what?

[Ryan]

I think he just wants a little quiet time and, I mean, he's not like the biggest social butterfly out there. I don't know. I don't know.

[Miles]

Interesting.

[Jared]

Grilling and lunch. Just don't bring it up.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And don't. Yeah, don't grill. Yeah. Don't grill anything for lunch.

[Jared]

It's food. It's anything food related, you gotta tiptoe around.

[Miles]

Yeah. Even the food coming back up. He doesn't want to talk.

[Jared]

Want to talk about it?

[Miles]

I talk about it. Yeah. I mean, we got him figured out though.

[Ryan]

It's not that hard. Sit and observe. Not that hard.

[Miles]

And then you double the grilling with him not wanting to joke around. That's where we had the explosion that we had. So if we were to make a joke about his kid, joke about grilling, and ask him how his lunch is going, we're talking scorched earth, Tyler.

[Jared]

The rage of a thousand suns.

[Miles]

Just this building's made out of concrete, and he would somehow tear it down and melt.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Can you imagine if we, like, if we had a grill outside and he was grilling something for lunch, and someone came up, he's like, oh, what are you grilling over there? He just pulls a sword out of his jeans.

[Jared]

Pray to fight.

[Miles]

Okay, well, so instead we got some patron questions, Right? It's been a long time since we've had some patrons questions on here. And, guys, if you want to sign up for Patreon, go over to patreon.com, you betcha. Radio. Or go look us up on the app. Extra episode every single week. Every single week.

[Ryan]

Great episode.

[Miles]

Hundreds of episodes, right?

[Jared]

Yep. Hundreds.

[Miles]

Hundreds.

[Jared]

Hundreds of hours.

[Ryan]

We got prison pen pals now, too.

[Miles]

That is. That is one of the best things I didn't see coming on Patreon.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Is we now have prison pals.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

You've heard of pen pals in prison? We just. Prison podcast pals.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Miles]

So there is a listener who works at the prison, and the warden cleared them to listen to you bet your Patreon.

[Jared]

So we're the only official confirmed prison podcast.

[Miles]

Yes. And through this employee at the prison, we get to ask them questions, they get to answer, they get to ask us questions. It's like. It's a whole new club we started.

[Ryan]

It's kind of fun.

[Jared]

Yep. We get updates every week now too, so it's a lot of fun.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

So you got to tune in on Patreon for the prison pals.

[Jared]

Yep. Buzz Ted nut at the beach right now in Hamburg at 11am Have I made a big mistake?

[Miles]

Is he in the water? You think he's at the beach?

[Ryan]

He's by water.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So 11am he's hammered at the beach. I mean, I. He's asked if he made a mistake. Yeah, I don't think so.

[Ryan]

I don't think you can make mistakes.

[Miles]

I mean, unless you're supposed. Yeah. Unless you're supposed to be, like, watching your kids or, like, you're supposed to be at work.

[Jared]

Right.

[Miles]

I think. I think that's pretty good.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Or if he's like, a lifeguard on that beat, then you probably made a Mistake. But I'm going to assume that's not the case.

[Jared]

Chief Queef, what are the dad taxes you plan on implementing?

[Miles]

Dad tactics? I plan on taxes.

[Ryan]

Taxes, Dad.

[Miles]

I thought he said tactics. I'm like, well, that's a very vague question. First, I need to identify what dad tactics are. Dad taxes.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

Well, right now, I'm in the beautiful stage of fatherhood where my kid is so small and eats so little compared to a normal human that even if you make a small portion of food for him, he can't eat it all. Yeah. So right now, I'm not getting dad tax. I'm getting dad leftovers. So I'm getting the dad's surplus right now. So you make him some Mac and cheese. He eats about half of it. The other half is for dad.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

It's like a tax return.

[Miles]

It's. Yes. You're 100. Yeah.

[Ryan]

You pay in with tax.

[Miles]

I'm getting the tax refund essentially right now. The one right now I'm loving is we have French toast sticks that he gets once in a while. Never eats them all.

[Ryan]

Oh, God, no. Why don't you make a couple extra, too, just in case the little guy's hungry.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And, I mean, those are just yours.

[Miles]

Afterwards, so that's been great.

[Ryan]

Do you guys.

[Miles]

The one thing that I never get a tax dad tax return on is fruit. Kiddled. Just Mao. He doesn't even chew it. We have to, like, try and get him to chew it. They'll just put a half a quarter of a BlackBerry in his mouth.

[Ryan]

Can you imagine if you didn't cut them up?

[Miles]

I know. It'd be. You'd be choke city. It'd be a disaster. So, yeah, I'm in the stage of tax dad tax returns, but at some point, I'm gonna have to transition, I think. Anything cold? For sure.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Ice cream, Maybe a thing of juice?

[Jared]

Yeah, Soda?

[Miles]

Yeah, soda. What else? Yeah, fruit, all, you know, everything cold, whatever. Hot stuff. You usually end up getting a tax return at the end.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jared]

I can't really do a tax on soup.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

It's a weird one.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I guess the newest dad tax for me is my kid. He's been big into juice boxes, like Capri suns. I haven't had a Capri sun since I was probably 10 years old, so.

[Tyler]

Good.

[Ryan]

But once he gets the straw stuck in what he likes to do, for some reason, he just, like, kind of squeezes it right away if he's, like, trying to carry it somewhere. And so I always got to take at Least like the first third off the top. So he's not, he's not squeezing and spilling it all over.

[Jared]

So you got a 33 tax rate.

[Ryan]

Yeah, well, and then that way. That way too. He just doesn't get as big of a sugar rush and just go nuts either. Because I've already drank the first third.

[Jared]

So is the sugar rush a real thing?

[Ryan]

I could kind of notice it. Yeah.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it probably lasts like third lasts like 30 minutes. My kid's also three though, so he's just bouncing off the walls regardless, Right?

[Jared]

That's kind of what I'm saying.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And he's also, in terms of food, he's in the stage now where like he just, he'll have like two bites and then he, and then he's just like going to run around. He can't sit. He can't sit still for more than three bites. So then like I'm like, well, it's gonna get cold, so someone's gotta eat this.

[Miles]

That's why I, I always strap my kid down.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean we could, but he would. Yeah, he'd probably, he'd find some way to.

[Miles]

Not as a self auto. I, I don't strap my kid down.

[Ryan]

Yeah, well, I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

The high chair.

[Ryan]

Yeah, High chairs. Essentially strapped. You can't get out of this. This is a joke in a high chair. I mean, high chairs have like, like buckle straps.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Strapped down.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I don't do that.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I have a free range kid.

[Miles]

That's pretty funny actually.

[Jared]

I need a hand job. How do you tell people to leave your house when you get tired of them being there?

[Miles]

Start cleaning. I think we've done this question before, but you just start cleaning stuff.

[Jared]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

Maybe turn on the light. Turn on an extra light. Preferably one that's in the ceiling. Like don't turn on another lamp. Turn on like a can light in the ceiling can. Ceiling lights signal to anyone. It's just like at a bar when the top lights go on.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It's closing time, so you want to do that. You're going to want to start cleaning some stuff up. Do not be sitting. If you're sitting, that does not signal to anyone that you want them to leave. You need to be standing, you need to be cleaning and you need to be turning on an overhead light.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And sitting also signifies relaxation. So you're relaxed with them still being there, which you're not.

[Jared]

Right.

[Ryan]

You could maybe go grab their shoes and just put them like untie them for them. Put Them in front of you could even maybe just put their shoes on for them.

[Miles]

I won't be doing that. I think the first three will make it happen.

[Jared]

Or bring their shoes to the living room.

[Ryan]

Yeah, Just put them right in front of their feet.

[Miles]

Yeah. Just say, like, so do you want to go at the front door? The garage door? Like, be holding them. A good option. Yeah, it's all the garage door. And then hand it to them. They'll go set it by the garage.

[Ryan]

Sure.

[Jared]

Y.

[Ryan]

You could. Astro. Start their vehicle for them. Time of year doesn't matter. You know, in the name.

[Jared]

Have their coat ready.

[Ryan]

You could just, like, if you and your wife are on the same page, you could just walk upstairs, not come back down.

[Jared]

Irish goodbye in your own house.

[Ryan]

Can you imagine?

[Miles]

They're watching tv. Just shut it off.

[Jared]

It's like the end of the movie.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And the lights thing too. There's two ways, like, you can turn. Turn more lights on, or you can just turn all the lights on, TV off, everything off. And then, like, who. Who wants to sit in it besides Tyler? Who wants to sit in a dark room, have a conversation?

[Miles]

I think a more subtle way, too, is once you stand up, just kind of go like, oh, I got a long day tomorrow.

[Jared]

That's a good one.

[Miles]

On. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Tell them what time you got to be up.

[Miles]

Man, I gotta be up. I gotta be up at 6.

[Ryan]

I gotta be up by at least 9 to get anything done.

[Jared]

Another thing you could do is, like, have a conversation of what TV shows they hate. And then when you want them to leave, turn on that TV show or movie.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Do a little recon beforehand.

[Ryan]

Reverse psychology.

[Jared]

It's a little more work, but it will pay off.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And I mean, like, it. Like, if you know the person, like, okay, say, I want a mouse. Leave my house. I could just bring out Yahtzee or something. Or Monopoly, something.

[Jared]

No, don't bring up Monopoly. You'll be there.

[Ryan]

Oh, that's true. Because you also.

[Miles]

I think you don't want to risk getting into a game.

[Ryan]

Okay, let's just go goldfish. All right.

[Miles]

I think another good social cue is don't stop asking them questions. You know, if you're hanging out, be like, oh, what are you doing this weekend? Whatever. And there's a lot of questions back and forth. They ask you a question, don't respond with a question. Just give them something short and sweet.

[Ryan]

That's crazy.

[Jared]

Cool. A lot of cool.

[Miles]

Cool, cool. Oh, man, I gotta get up at, like, 6 tomorrow.

[Jared]

I just say, like, 4am you always.

[Miles]

Got to do the hand stretch with the arms above the head.

[Tyler]

Oh, I caught that one.

[Jared]

Or back to the TV show thing. If there's a show they really like, like I'm watching Breaking Bad right now. Just go to the last episode of Breaking Bad. So then they have to hurry out of there.

[Miles]

So start the spoiler alert episode.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You could like. Yeah. Go to the bathroom and call the police and just call on a noise complaint on your.

[Miles]

Your own house or just that there's people trespassing.

[Ryan]

You trespassing. Another.

[Miles]

There's a male and female in my house right now trespassing. They're sitting on my couch watching Breaking Bad.

[Ryan]

If you haven't seen the finale, though, do not come in. Just knock and have them come up.

[Miles]

Well, you got to make it real. You got to breathe very heavily. Yeah, there's. There's a male, female in my kitchen.

[Jared]

Oh, God.

[Miles]

They're drinking all of my beer. They're trespassing. Can you send someone over right now?

[Ryan]

They keep asking what I have going on this weekend.

[Jared]

She's right in the living room.

[Miles]

I turned it the overhead lights and started doing the dishes. They didn't get the hint to leave.

[Ryan]

That's a good one. Police.

[Miles]

Put your hands in the air. They're right here, officer. They're right here.

[Jared]

Yeah. You act like nothing.

[Miles]

Would you like to press charges, sir? Yeah. For not leaving when they should have. I'd like to press a charge of not reading the. The room.

[Jared]

That's a felony.

[Ryan]

That is a good one. That's a good option. I mean, that's the fail safe. You really need people out.

[Miles]

Yeah. 911, call the SWAT. SWAT team on. They have a bomb.

[Jared]

That's good.

[Miles]

That would also be a funny joke. Someone comes over, drops a huge deuce in your toilet, sigs up the whole place, you call the SWAT team. I'm say dropped a bomb in your bathroom.

[Jared]

Don't flush it.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah. If you don't want to be to blame for it either, you could just put it in like the neighborhood watch Facebook group. Two individuals. Two on my. Unidentified individuals in my. In my living room need help.

[Jared]

Then they call the cops.

[Miles]

You don't.

[Ryan]

Correct. Yes.

[Jared]

Gotcha.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Jared]

That is a. Your hands are clean then.

[Ryan]

Correct.

[Jared]

Ben Wall Benoit. Balls. Can you escape an escape room? If it were four of you as a group?

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, I think so.

[Ryan]

I think so as well. Well, you guys are deciphering.

[Miles]

I think we've talked about this before too, but I. I would immediately announce myself as the leader of the group.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I'm definitely not.

[Miles]

Right. So I'll just do that.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And then what I'll do is I'll have Ryan. He's just. I'm gonna sick him on. Just rifling through every thing he can until. Just volume.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Miles]

Bring. Bring us everything you can find.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Miles]

Even if it's not a clue. Bring it to us. We'll. We can decide.

[Ryan]

You'll decipher it.

[Miles]

I will stick Tyler on break. Breaking any mental codes.

[Jared]

Yeah, like riddles.

[Miles]

Riddles. Stuff like that. We're gonna sick him on that.

[Ryan]

Not you, Jared. You're not the room.

[Jared]

I would be terrible at that.

[Miles]

Yeah, Jared, you are gonna be the snack guy.

[Ryan]

Okay?

[Miles]

You're making sure we are all crystal clear with granola bars, waters, juices, jerkies, alpha brain salt pills in case anyone starts cramping.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

We're talking. You're gonna make sure that everyone's operating as well as helping me decide what is a clue and what isn't.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

For Ryan's stuff.

[Jared]

Gotcha.

[Miles]

Because I'll try and look into everything as a clue, and you're gonna be like, miles, that's. That's not a clue. Yeah, I'll be like, yeah, you're probably right.

[Jared]

You're right.

[Miles]

I'll overthink it.

[Ryan]

It keeps on the straight road home.

[Jared]

It's like you. You found these keys, but they're like your keys from your car.

[Miles]

Yeah. Miles, that. That literally open. That's a trailer hitch lock.

[Ryan]

It says, right.

[Miles]

How do you know? It says right on it. You wrote trailer hitch on it.

[Jared]

That's your handwriting.

[Miles]

Yeah. And then I'll just. I'll just be making sure everyone's staying locked the fuck in.

[Jared]

You know, a lot of yelling.

[Miles]

A lot of yelling. Here we go. Let's go. Fourth quarter. You know, stuff like that. And I'll yell fourth quarter. Even though it's only halftime. To make you guys think we're further along than we are. To keep you motivated.

[Ryan]

Just like when the crowd.

[Miles]

And then when it clearly is the start of the fourth quarter, I'll yell over time.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Free escape room. Let's go. Stuff like that.

[Jared]

Lock in.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Even though you definitely will be able to see the clock ticking on the wall.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Put your fours up.

[Jared]

Can't do it too long, though. We gotta focus.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's true.

[Jared]

Have you guys done an escape room?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

No. Can you tell?

[Ryan]

We should. We should do one.

[Jared]

That would be fun.

[Ryan]

I have done one. Didn't get out. You got out Though rolls weren't assigned right away though, so I think that was the issue.

[Miles]

Well, yeah. So what caused you not to be able to get out of the escape room? What was the culprit?

[Ryan]

Oh, I don't know. I think just lack of, just lack of critical thinking skills in the room.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Unassigned roles.

[Jared]

Did you do it with your wife or what?

[Ryan]

No, I did with like extended family.

[Jared]

Go. That's bad.

[Ryan]

Well, and it was like, you know, we've, we've never really been together in like, we've never worked together in like a team environment. It's more so just a chit chat around like the holiday table or whatever.

[Jared]

Right.

[Ryan]

So, yeah, I think with this group, obviously work together every day, identified roles y. And we critically think on this podcast every week.

[Miles]

So what didn't you find though? Like, I, I, I, again, I've never done an escape room. So, like, what usually is the thing that hangs you up? Is it finding stuff or solving riddles or what?

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's, it's usually like you get. For us, we just got stuck on. We got stuck at like say step eight. We could not find the clue to get to step nine. And there was some sort of code to be deciphered to get into this thing that then. Yeah. So. And we, we were also out of hints, so they only gave you so many heads. I think you get. I think we got like three hints or maybe you get more hints, but it takes time off the, off the top. I can't remember.

[Jared]

Gotcha.

[Ryan]

It's been a while.

[Jared]

You were pretty shit phased.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. I think we could do it.

[Ryan]

I think we could do. We should. We should do it. And we should. Yeah. We could throw a camera in the corner too.

[Jared]

We could all wear GoPros.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

On our chest.

[Miles]

Because I think the problem is, is when you, you waste too much labor on one thing.

[Ryan]

Agreed.

[Miles]

Right. So if there's four of us and all four are working on the riddle, instead of two people working on the riddle and two other people trying to find other things and observe the room and whatnot.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And then if you truly can't figure it out, you rotate and keep moving. You just got to keep moving in an escape room.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You gotta never done one. Fresh brains. Yeah. Clear heart, full eyes.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You know, always gotta be introducing new variables. Situation can change.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Anita, Sea balls. Best meals when camping.

[Ryan]

It's a good question for you.

[Miles]

I just don't go camping ever. I just don't ever go camping. I just don't stump Miles.

[Ryan]

I feel like, like there's a reason.

[Miles]

Why I haven't done any camping content Right. On our channel because I just don't go camping.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You know, in the summer when people would be going camping, I just go to the lake.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got comfy bed at the lake. I think I also don't camp that much. So I'm sure the more you did it, the more creative you could get with the. That you're gonna start making. But I mean, hot dogs, hamburgers.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Meats, chips.

[Ryan]

Potato salad.

[Jared]

No, not coleslaw. Not potato salad.

[Miles]

Why?

[Jared]

It's gonna spoil. You got to keep it cold the whole time.

[Miles]

Oh yeah, it'll keep. It'll keep ice for like.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Four months.

[Ryan]

I mean, I'm not packing in four or five miles from the trailhead. I'm. I would be driving up to right by a highway. You're right by a highway.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Or yeah, I'd be driving. I'm gonna go camping at the Super 8 this weekend, you know.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. It's. I just don't camp. I do want to. My brother in law, I've talked to him about this. I feel like he goes to the boundary waters north of Minnesota.

[Ryan]

I've been.

[Miles]

And I do want to do that. I do want to go camp and canoe and fish and do all of that.

[Ryan]

That. Yeah. I went one time years ago that it was an awesome time.

[Miles]

Yeah. I feel like. Yeah. If you're camping, you gotta really camp.

[Ryan]

Correct. Yep. Yep.

[Jared]

Gavin Doggins, at what age do you stop caring about taking your shirt off in public as a dude?

[Miles]

What kind of public? Are we talking like at Walmart or are we talking just like at the public beach?

[Jared]

I think a public beach is what he meant.

[Miles]

Yeah. I think I'm there. But now I'm like, I rather. I'm to analysis to the point that I'd rather not get sunburned. So I'll keep my shirt on.

[Jared]

Sure. It's not so much a body image issue. It's just I don't want to get sunburnt.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. It's like why expose my shoulders to the blazing hot sun if I don't need to? Yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

Who's gonna rub salt and tannin lotion on your back, you know?

[Miles]

Yeah. Even Anne doesn't like doing that. Right.

[Jared]

Could do that.

[Ryan]

I, I would probably say when you get married, I don't know, it's not like you're trying to impress anybody at that point.

[Miles]

Yeah. It also depends, like if you're super Cut. And you probably don't ever wear a shirt.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, I think post 75 hard too. It's like, my wife's gotta tell me, like, hey, your, your shirts. Yeah. Your shirt's hanging up in the, in the mud room. You grab that on your way out. Because I'm just, you know, I'm just pant cocking it, if you will.

[Jared]

Are you shirtless a lot in your house?

[Miles]

Pants Cocking it.

[Ryan]

You're like, no, a shirt. Shirt cocking is like you got your pant nippling. Okay. Yeah. Well, you know.

[Miles]

Yeah. The reason why it's shirt cock is because you're wearing a shirt and you can see your.

[Ryan]

No, I know.

[Miles]

I, I pants. You can see your nipples.

[Ryan]

I know. What if you have it tucked up in the waistband so you want either.

[Miles]

Mushroom heads popping out the top is what you're saying. That is a visual I didn't ever want to get.

[Jared]

Get that memory erased.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I mean, the only time I'm really walking around my shirt off is the morning when I get up. And then like, once I have to go do something that like, like requires shirt shoes for service, then I'll put one on.

[Jared]

Just that stupid rule that keeps you with your shoes.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I think people are getting a little more lenient on that, though. I don't know. I don't, I don't feel like I see the signs as much as I used to.

[Jared]

Yeah. I think it's just implied. No, Everyone kind of knows.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

That no smoking.

[Miles]

Yeah. I feel like as a society, as we've gotten fatter, there's less people in public. Less we have to worry about people not wearing shirts in public. I don't know if you guys feel.

[Jared]

That it is a positive.

[Miles]

Great for restaurants to enforce as many policies.

[Ryan]

Yeah, well, they.

[Miles]

You know what I mean? Like, I feel like back when our parents were young, there's always photos and they always got their shirts off.

[Ryan]

Oh, big time. Yeah.

[Miles]

Now I feel like I, I could go a month without ever having to see someone I don't want to. Without a shirt.

[Ryan]

For sure. Yeah. And you know, I mean, it's just.

[Miles]

Because we've gotten fatter and everyone's just like, yeah, I don't. I shouldn't have my shirt off.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And you guys know us, we're not big, like, like hot tub with your friends type of people. So it's not like we're gonna be like, yeah, that's a situation we don't have to be in. Yep, yep. Out at the late, like out at the lake, once the shirt's off, the shirt probably stays off until you, like, you start the fire. You're going to bed.

[Jared]

Sun goes down.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the lakes where I got my shirt off the most. Out in public.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

But obviously you guys wear a shirt to bed.

[Miles]

Not at times.

[Jared]

Really?

[Miles]

Only if I'm sick. I'll wear, like, a sweatshirt to bed, like if I got a fever or something.

[Jared]

Gotcha. I'm a big shirt to bed guy too.

[Ryan]

Really?

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

It doesn't get caught when you go to turn.

[Jared]

No. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Is it silk?

[Jared]

It's a cotton shirt.

[Miles]

You wear a silk shirt to bed.

[Jared]

Don't have to wash the sheets if you have a silk shirt.

[Ryan]

I've never. I. Yeah, I've. Unless I'm absolutely s. F'd, Short for shit face. I'm not wearing any shirt to bed.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Ryan]

I'm not even wearing socks.

[Miles]

I don't wear. I just all. I wear shorts. I even wear underwear.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I don't even wear shorts.

[Jared]

I.

[Ryan]

Well, I don't even. I wear. I just wear my boxers.

[Jared]

Yeah. Birthday suit.

[Ryan]

Yeah, Birthday suit. Plus the boxers. I usually wear a headband. You guys wear headbands to bed?

[Jared]

Like a basketball headband?

[Ryan]

Yeah. Like one of the Nike. Yeah.

[Jared]

Caruso.

[Ryan]

You guys wear headbands event.

[Miles]

I know for a fact you don't wear a headband to bed. You just made that up.

[Ryan]

You're right.

[Jared]

Classic Ryan prank one. Fun fact. It's flag week this week, so I did a flag fact.

[Ryan]

Oh.

[Jared]

The flag of Denmark is the oldest currently used flag in the world, dating back to the 1300s.

[Miles]

Can you pull up what it looks like?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Denmark flag.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

I mean, just. It just goes to prove that you just don't. You know, Minnesota's new flag is just in reality, though. They did. Everyone was kind of up in arms. They're like, it's too simple.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Right. They're like. It's just. It's. It looks like a third grader could have made that. But then you look at the oldest flag that stood the test of time. It is just two white lines.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

With the red background.

[Jared]

Simplicity.

[Miles]

So who knows? Did they get it right? Did they not?

[Ryan]

Well, and there's a. There's a lot of countries with the red flag and, like the. The. The cross lines and stuff.

[Jared]

Some sort really bigger to that.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Do you think it's because if you turn it the other way, it looks like a cross? Do you think it's a religious thing? That it's that shape or not?

[Jared]

I would assume so, yeah.

[Ryan]

Good question. Well, like, you look at. What is it? What is it? Like France and Russia, their flags. They're the. They're the same. The colors are just flipped.

[Jared]

The cheating on the test.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

We do have a cool flag.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

It's definitely unique.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

We have the best. It's sick.

[Jared]

I don't want a 51st date because I think it would look stupid if we got another star on the flag.

[Ryan]

That's kind of what I was. It wouldn't be like, oh, nice. How would they. Where would they put that?

[Miles]

Mm. It's true, you know, like, we have a name for our flag, like a nickname. Stars and stripes.

[Jared]

Yeah. Old Glory.

[Miles]

What do they say? They just got old stripes. Lame. Stars and stripes, baby. Let's go. We got three colors we didn't push out.

[Ryan]

Yeah, there's. Yeah, there's just squares and stripes. Squares and stripes not sound great.

[Jared]

Ours is the color of freedom.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, it kind of looks like a hospital, right? Flag.

[Ryan]

Yeah. If you just. Yeah, if. If those. If the red part was green. You just think you're going to get a medical marijuana somewhere. You know, guys like my college buddies could sniff that out from miles away. They don't even need to use, like, dispensaries near me. They can just look up in the.

[Miles]

Sky and be like, yeah, go to Norway's flag.

[Jared]

Norway, very similar.

[Miles]

They just add the blue.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

It's insane.

[Jared]

Cheating.

[Miles]

But also, look how much better a flag looks when you add the red, white, and blue.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Which we invented red, white and blue together. That combination. The U.S. invented that. So they stole it from us.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And they stole the rest of their flag from Denmark.

[Jared]

Yeah. Cheetah on two tests.

[Miles]

So see, like Norway. Sweden's though, is different, isn't it?

[Jared]

I don't.

[Miles]

It's like it's yellow and blue. Blue, isn't it?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I mean. What. No, I get it that they're like the Scandinavian countries. So, like, they are kind of unified in that, but, I mean, you think.

[Jared]

You'D want to stick out a little more if you're in the Scandinavian countries.

[Ryan]

Look like. Look at the middle photo. Swedish flag history. Like, they should have stopped the bottom left. That's kind of cool.

[Jared]

I kind of like.

[Miles]

I like top right.

[Jared]

I like this one with the. The points.

[Ryan]

That's kind of cool, too.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's sick. More definition.

[Ryan]

Speaking of flag, all you bet you do boys are buzzing. Flags, Midwest, best flags. 3 by 5 foot grommets on the edges. Yeah.

[Miles]

So not from the garbage as well?

[Ryan]

They're not from the garbage. They're all plastic wrapped, pre packed.

[Jared]

It's a nice flag.

[Ryan]

It is.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Well, is that a Jared. Well, guys, thoughts and prayers up for Tyler in. In hopes that his brain stops attacking him.

[Jared]

Darkness will work.

[Miles]

Do you think the person who invented migraines meant to say my brain and they actually said migraine?

[Ryan]

Well, because their speech.

[Miles]

What's wrong with you? Migraine. Like he has a migraine.

[Jared]

Or if he. He's a farmer and his crops weren't growing that well, like, what's wrong? Migraine.

[Miles]

Yeah, he's rubbing his apples. He's like, oh, God. Migraine.

[Ryan]

Can we look where that's derived from? I'm sure it's a.

[Miles]

No, we know. We already know where it derives from. We just said it. All right.

[Jared]

That's a good one.

[Miles]

Yeah. You know where migraines started from, right? Farmer stressed out. He couldn't get his crops to grow.

[Jared]

Farmer had a headache.

[Miles]

Farmer had a headache. He just was sitting there just going, oh, my grain.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Lightning struck his green bin.

[Miles]

My grain. That's a good bit.

[Jared]

That's good.

[Miles]

I'm totally using that in front of my dad.

[Jared]

He's gonna think it's get one chuckle out of him.

[Miles]

Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode. We love you. And we'll see you next one.

[Ryan]

Love you.

[Miles]

Oh, you betcha. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Mary Kill, honking, yelling, Giving the finger.

[Miles]

I'm out on giving the finger. I. I couldn't be more out on giving the finger. I just. I feel like it's just like. I don't know. I. Maybe once in my life I've angrily given someone the finger that I didn't know. Like, I've given the finger to my brothers and, you know, but to. To just go be so mad at someone you don't know and give them the middle finger is just. I just don't think I can ever get there.

[Ryan]

The only time I'll give the finger is when I'm in the other. When I'm in the other car's blind spot so they can't see me.

[Jared]

Oh.

[Tyler]

What was the qu. I was looking up Mr. Bigglesworth, so I missed the question.

[Jared]

Mary Kill. Honking, yelling, Give her the finger.

[Tyler]

Oh, I gave the guy a finger like a month ago.

[Ryan]

Yeah. What was it? He was a scenario.

[Tyler]

He was riding my finger. My ass.

[Miles]

That sounds odd.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I didn't like it.

[Jared]

You gave him the finger.

[Miles]

So finally turning into an erotic porno he was riding my ass, so I just gave him the finger, but he didn't like it. Right up his.

[Ryan]

He didn't like it.

[Tyler]

No, no, he was. He was. He was riding my ass for way too long, and then when he passed me, I flipped him off, and then he slowed way down in front of me.

[Miles]

Oh, God. So then you were riding his ass?

[Tyler]

I was.

[Miles]

It was just a constant riding of ass.

[Tyler]

And then. So he was going like 45 and a 55 when he slowed down, and then he sped off eventually, like five miles down the road, and he was going like 70. So I really hope he got pulled over and his day was ruined.

[Miles]

Well, I think he would have saw if he got pulled over.

[Tyler]

I don't know. He could have turned. He sped out of you.

[Miles]

Yeah. Back road.

[Ryan]

Should have called him in.

[Tyler]

Should have.

[Miles]

Yeah. So I'm out on giving the finger. I think I would. I. I rarely honk my horn because that's a pet peeve of mine, is that people can't, like, unless someone's about to crash. I think that's the only time a horn honking is warranted. But if someone is just not doing something that you want, I. I just. Let's just relax.

[Tyler]

I'll honk if someone clearly is, like, on their phone and doesn't know the light turned green.

[Ryan]

Correct.

[Jared]

Yeah, I'll do that too.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I did that about once a week.

[Tyler]

Week. Yeah. Do it as light as possible because you don't want them to know you're mad. You're just trying to wake them up.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's like a. It's just like a. Yeah.

[Miles]

So I'll definitely marry yelling. I love to yell in the car.

[Tyler]

It is therapeutic.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Because you can say whatever you want.

[Miles]

Yeah. That's my preferred way to let out the anger. So I'll the horn, and I'll kill the finger.

[Tyler]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna marry yelling. I guess I'll the horn, too. It's. I'll kill finger. I mean, I honk the horn at more people at lights than I. Yeah.

[Miles]

Being in a big city, how much more people are comfortable with using the horn?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I think they just use it. Like, I feel like at. Sometimes it's like when you're going through a stoplight, it's just a rule that you have to honk your horn. So it feels like sometimes in New.

[Jared]

York City, it's constant.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I think the horn probably gets used more in the windshield washer fluid.

[Jared]

Probably.

[Tyler]

Probably.

[Miles]

Like when I was Cambodia, they're just.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

The whole time.

[Jared]

How'd it go?

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna marry. I'll marry. Yelling. I'll one night it with the horn and then I'll. I'll kill the finger. Fingers. Just not situationally universal.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's like a once a year occurrence for me.

[Ryan]

Yeah, there's a lot. I do it in the blind spot too.

[Jared]

Yeah, There's a lot more cons to giving the finger than pros.

[Ryan]

Totally.

[Miles]

Oh, the only time I give the finger is when I put it up against the door handle.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

That is fun, though.

[Miles]

It is so much more fun than giving the finger.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Just going like, if this is the dory, just go like this behind it. And then you wave at him like this.

[Jared]

They don't see you at all.

[Miles]

They don't see it at all.

[Ryan]

Me and my buddies in high school, we, like, if we'd see someone walking down main street, we would honk the horn and then we just wave the other way.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah, That's a classic. That's a great.

[Ryan]

It was so much fun because then, like, usually one guy in the back here, you'd take turns. They would. They would watch the people to see what their reaction was. It was great.

[Jared]

So we used to mess around and we'd pretend to pull, like an invisible rope across the road. And then people would stop their car. What the hell's going on?

[Tyler]

You actually did that? Yeah, we did a couple of times.

[Miles]

Do you yell that or they think it was funny?

[Jared]

They just didn't care. Just kept driving. But it was hilarious when they had stopped. Totally.

[Tyler]

Did you guys ever egg cars?

[Jared]

No, we never egged.

[Ryan]

No. Never egged a car.

[Tyler]

We had cars for, like three weekends straight, and we egged a state trooper, and he. We didn't know. We just egged whatever car drove by.

[Ryan]

Oh, it was his personal car.

[Tyler]

No. Oh, he was in the trooper vehicle. Oh, it's the middle of the night and all you see is headlights coming. You start launching eggs. And he slammed on the brakes, lit on the cherries, and we took off into the woods. Then we stopped egging cars.

[Miles]

So for breakfast you had eggs, Cherries.

[Ryan]

And berries and bacon and bacon.

[Miles]

Put a little bacon and eggs. Little grape for breakfast.

[Tyler]

For dinner, a little gravy.

[Ryan]

A late night snack. Yeah.

[Jared]

Topsy turvy.

[Ryan]

Little gravy on top of some biscuits.

[Miles]

Yeah. Side of cherries and berries.

[Ryan]

B I S C Y T S Biscuits.

[Miles]

Yikes. You guys just wait till next year.

[Tyler]

Spelling bee W A I T. Wait, guys.

[Miles]

If you want more, you bet your radio, you gotta check out our Patreon. You gotta go to patreon.com, you betchradio. Or look us up on the app. App. And we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you gotta check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.