The Most Stressful Place in America Is a Boat Ramp 🎙 #383

Summary

You Betcha Radio – Episode #383: "The Most Stressful Place in America Is a Boat Ramp"

Released: June 24, 2026

Podcast Hosts:

• Myles ("You Betcha Guy")
• Ryan, "The T-Shirt Guy"
• Tyler
• Jared ("the Glass Man")

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Episode Overview

This episode takes a deep (and comedic) dive into the peculiar stresses and cultures found around Midwest lake life, especially the chaos that ensues at public boat ramps. The gang reflects on boat ownership, the differences in attitude between owners with and without cabins, and the widely shared "boat don't start" curse. The show flows through classic Midwest humor, stories from the lake, family dynamics, golf-side banter, and ends with a raucous "doomsday bunker draft." Expect relatable tales, sharp chirps, and hilarious observations about manhood, nostalgia, and being unapologetically Midwest.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Lake Weekends, Father's Day & Boat Curses

0:45 - 8:53

• Father's Day & Neighbors: Myles shares about experiencing “Father’s Day Weekend” lake culture, highlighting a neighbor, Tony, stretching "Dad time" all weekend, to his wife’s irritation.

  • Quote [1:00, Myles]: “It’s Father’s Day weekend boys!” – as an excuse to relax and dodge chores.

• Birthday Chat: It's Ryan's birthday during the taping.

  • Quote [0:56, team]: “Happy birthday, Ryan!”

• Boat & Engine Jinxes: Myles recounts repeatedly jinxing gas-powered engines, from firefighter chainsaws to boats and snowmobiles, usually at the worst times – like when showing off for guests or celebrities.

  • Quote [4:22, Myles]: “If I know anything about chainsaws, it's a 50/50 shot on whether or not they're gonna start.”
  • Compares firefighting chainsaw woes to struggling to start his dad’s “never been a problem in 23 years” boat in front of country artist Ernest.
  • Discussion of "kill switch" mishaps, embarrassment during video shoots, and the general paranoia about being "that guy" who jinxes engines.

2. The Firefighter Video & Facing Fears

8:54 - 11:41

• Myles promotes a recent YouTube video about trying firefighting, sharing how intimidating (and sweaty) it was to gear up and go up an 80ft ladder. The squad jokes about being weak with heights.
  • Quote [10:06, Myles]: “We get up in the bucket, it goes 80ft… I was sweating my dick off a little bit.”
  • Thanks the local fire and rescue team for their hospitality, gear demos, and a custom helmet shield.
  • Teases Ryan as “perfect firefighter material” citing mustache, chili-making, and “decently built guy” qualities.

3. Midwest Burn Piles, Weather, and Suburban Dadness

13:07 - 19:00

• The group riffs on the politics of backyard burn piles, grass clippings, weatherman mistrust, and “modern” vs “boomer” approaches to property maintenance.
  • Quote [13:49, Myles]: “Boomer dads hate weathermen—but I think YOU hate weathermen more.”
  • Jokes about starting the burn pile, using poopy diapers or tires to up the ante, and how Midwesters invent “comedy by neglect” with yard projects.
  • Burn days become a symbol of elusive, sacred suburban time-off.

4. Handyman Party Bus: Too Good (and Dangerous) for Reality

16:37 - 18:50

• Fantasizing about a “Handyman Party Bus” YouTube project – tool belts, a case of beer, the entire gang tackling home improvement for content.
  • Bemoans logistics, insurance, and safety while intoxicated (especially if augers or power tools get involved).
  • Quote [18:02, Myles]: “No matter how many beers, I trust myself with a drill. But if the auger’s involved...we’re 50/50.”

5. Boat Owners With Cabins vs. Without – The “Give a Sh*t” Factor

18:59 - 25:56

• A central, laugh-out-loud discussion on why cabin-and-boat owners treat their boats “like an old dog in the corner,” in contrast to those who haul their boats home and obsessively pamper them.
  • Quote [19:04, Jared]: “Boat owners with a cabin are different than boaters without a cabin.”
  • Cabin owners leave boats dinged up, ignore leaky hulls, and jerry-rig “fixes” (like a flashlight for a navigation light).
  • Non-cabin owners clean, wax, and fret over every minor issue.
  • Personal family stories: draining the boat, prop dings, and passing on the "neglected craft" to the next generation.
  • Running joke about how “fixing the symptoms, not the source” is a proud Midwest tradition.

6. Fishing Boats, Carpet Burns & Sentimentality

25:57 - 29:42

• Debate: Is it okay to get blood/fish slime on a fishing boat? Cabin-boat owners: “Who cares?” Friends’ boats: absolutely not.
  • Quote [26:47, Ryan]: “It’s like buying a couch and putting a plastic cover over it.”
  • Past mishaps: burning the carpet with a crème brûlée torch, baseball bat dents, and how each defect is a “conversation piece” or part of family history.

7. Chirping About Operations, SOPs, and Office Life

15:14 - 16:16

• A light-hearted "SOP smackdown" – who told who about vacation days, Slack reminders, and office inside-jokes.
  • Quote [15:56, Tyler]: “Remember when Jake was like, ‘I’m gone for a week’? Nobody fucking knew that.”

8. Boat Ramp Nightmares: The Most Stressful Place in America

33:26 - 44:00

• Extended riff on the chaos, divorce-potential, and social embarrassment at boat ramps.
  • Stories of jackknifed trailers, failed launches, burning out on the ramp concrete, and the “public shaming” from a lake’s peanut gallery.
  • Proposes building a bar called "Cheap Seats" or "Peanut Gallery" overlooking the public access, complete with live cams, cheap drinks, a burger basket menu, and a paid “ramp staff” to dock boats for you.
  • Quote [42:29, Myles]: “The bar would be called Cheap Seats…people just drink on the deck and watch boat ramp fails.”
  • Suggests solutions to “stress test” marriages: have a wife in the truck and husband directing the trailer. “Just stack up the divorce paperwork” behind the bar.

9. Golf Cart Mates: The Worst Best Friends

52:07 - 71:51

• Hilarious Midwest riffing about being a (bad) golf cart mate (and reliving their old "Double Bogey" golf show vibes).
  • “How to be a good golf cart mate”:
    • Give unsolicited swing advice immediately
    • Park cart awkwardly (either way too far or right next to the ball)
    • Match your friend’s attitude (if they’re pissed, you’re pissed)
    • Never watch their shots, don’t help find balls
    • Only buy yourself drinks from the bev cart
    • Play pranks, steal and scuff their balls, pants them mid-shot
    • Obsess about every golf rule, count every stroke loudly
    • Shamelessly fudge scores to stay invited
    • Borrow balls and tees and question their equipment choices
    • Play the most complicated betting games possible
  • Quote [55:19, Myles]: “After your buddy hits a bad shot, tell him exactly what he's doing wrong.”
  • Invents "chirp night" – pay to roast players over the boat ramp PA; turns the golf course or boat ramp into a pressure-cooker entertainment venue.

10. Doomsday Bunker Draft

75:44 - 99:40

• The group drafts their end-of-the-world bunker essentials—escalating rapidly from wood stoves and MRIs to nuclear power, an army of 1 million robots, livestock, agriculture, gravity, and even the entire Wuhan Lab.
  • Satirical, over-the-top, and utterly unserious—culminating in debates about whether you can draft all the air, gravity, or NATO.
  • Quote [82:54, Myles]: “I have an army of one million robots that can never kill God. They will protect me and my family.”
  • Ryan’s picks: wood stove, NATO’s armed forces, government cheese caves, Wuhan lab.
  • Tyler’s picks: water source, livestock, agriculture, Ryan’s family as hostages.
  • Jared’s picks: MRE crate, first aid kit, gravity, nuclear bomb.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [4:22, Myles, on chainsaw reliability.]
  “If I know anything about chainsaws, it's a 50/50 shot on whether or not they're gonna start.”
• [13:49, Myles, on generational weather-hater rivalry.]
  “Boomer dads hate weathermen—but I think YOU hate weathermen more.”
• [19:04, Jared, on boat owners.]
  "Boat owners with a cabin are different than boaters without a cabin."
• [42:29, Myles, the boat ramp bar vision.]
  “The bar would be called Cheap Seats…people just drink on the deck and watch boat ramp fails.”
• [55:19, Myles, on being a golf cart mate.]
  “After your buddy hits a bad shot, tell him exactly what he's doing wrong.”
• [82:54, Myles, on doomsday bunker draft.]
  “I have an army of one million robots that can never kill God. They will protect me and my family.”

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Memorable Segments & Timestamps

• 00:45–08:53 – Boat jinxes, Father's Day antics, and engine mishaps.
• 08:54-11:41 – Firefighter video stories, facing fear of heights.
• 13:07–19:00 – Midwestern yard projects, burn piles, weather complaints.
• 16:37–18:50 – The (un)realistic Handyman Party Bus concept.
• 18:59–25:56 – Boat owner psychology, the value of neglect, family prop stories.
• 25:57-29:42 – Boat mishaps become family folklore.
• 33:26–44:00 – Boat ramp nightmares, bar concept, and stress-testing marriages.
• 52:07–71:51 – Golf cart mate advice, pranks, and Midwest golf banter.
• 75:44–99:40 – Doomsday bunker draft, escalating into global absurdity.
• 101:09–101:34 – Fun Fact: The word "TASER" is an acronym from a sci-fi novel.
• 107:25–108:21 – Jared's bedtime podcast habits and sleep quirks.

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Language & Tone

• Casual, quick-witted, irreverent, and often self-deprecating.
• Jokes bounce between nostalgia, Midwest inside-jokes, and “working guy” culture.
• Occasional (often tongue-in-cheek) cursing and crude humor – all part of the brand’s comedy style.

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For Listeners Who Missed It...

This episode is a quintessential slice of Midwest lake culture and humor: boat ramp stress, neighbor stories, subtle family jabs, boat “fixes,” golf chirping, and wild, make-believe doomsday scenarios. The tone is light but packed with real stories, inside jokes, and sharp camaraderie—a perfect window into the “You Betcha” brand of nostalgia-meets-manhood (with plenty of beer, burn piles, and mock catastrophes along the way).

If you want more, check out their Patreon for bonus episodes, and don’t miss the firefighter or boat ramp videos on YouTube!

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Transcript

[A]

All right, back to it. Welcome back everybody to another episode of the you Bet yout Radio podcast. I am your host, Smiles. You bet you guy here with my co host, Ride the T shirt guy.

[B]

Howdy.

[A]

The third chair guy, Tyler. And the one, the only manned behind the metaphorical glass, the glass man, Jared.

[B]

He's got, he does have glasses.

[C]

Yeah, I do have glasses. Yeah.

[A]

Makes you feel more comfortable. You used to be double triple pane glass man. Now you're just single plane, single pane glass.

[C]

I think you guys called me six eyes one time. Yeah, five eyes nerd.

[B]

Wait, yeah, there two pages.

[A]

So last weekend was Father's Day. So happy Father's Day to all of the dads out there. Y today while we're recording, this is actually Ryan's birthday. So happy birthday.

[D]

Happy birthday, Ryan.

[B]

In.

[C]

I feel like your birthday is always on like a Monday or Tuesday.

[B]

Every single year it's on Monday or Tuesday. Leap year especially it's. It's on Wednesdays. But yeah.

[A]

How do you feel about having like a five year gauntlet of just during the week birthday dates?

[B]

Yeah, I, I went on a good stretch there. Friday, Saturday, Sunday was fine. But Thursday through Saturday a few years back that those were the times and those were like my late 20s too.

[D]

Yeah. Honestly, that's a great time to have it.

[B]

Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh God. It was a fucking pommel factory in my garage. Beers are just hitting the ground like you wouldn't know.

[C]

Peeing down the drain in the garage.

[B]

Yeah, fucking peeing down the drain in the laundry room.

[A]

I had a

[C]

through the washer hook up.

[A]

I had an all time interaction with my neighbor at the lake. It was Saturday and neighbor a couple doors down just showed up to lake and he's getting out of the car, he's in a great mood. He's like, hey, happy Father's Day boys. And his. And his wife goes, it's not Father's Day. He's like, it's Father's Day weekend boys. And it was like clearly a tiff between. He was like, you know, doing the I get a whole week for fathers. And she was not having it because I'm sure, I'm sure all weekend he's been using that it's Father's Day weekend as an excuse to get out of. And she was clearly over it and I was just egging him on. I'm like, oh yeah, all weekend long. You don't gotta do anything. And she's like now he's like, yep, he's just the happiest Sounds like Dave. Yeah, a little bit. His name's Tony. Tony's a good guy.

[D]

That's a good time. Name is Good Time Tony.

[A]

He was one of the neighbors that I drank with at the. The swim up bar, Rip Sure Lake.

[C]

And he turned into two turn Tony.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Got absolutely muddled at the swim up bar.

[A]

So I wish that I would have taken that approach that Tony took and really milked it just to make an mad.

[C]

He's an expert.

[A]

He's. He does have more years under his belt.

[C]

Knows how to play it.

[A]

So that was pretty fun. But also over the weekend we posted a video of me trying to be a firefighter. Yeah, saw that.

[D]

What'd you guys sound the alarms? It was good. I liked it.

[A]

I think the thing in the video that was. I, I don't know how I keep doing this, but I keep jinxing all of the gas powered things in my life.

[D]

This is the funniest part of the video.

[B]

Well, I think first off, you didn't forward that email seven years ago.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

So it's like, what do you expect?

[A]

I got, I got bad inj. Engine luck.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So part of being a firefighter, I found out is you got to cut a hole in the roof to vent the smoke and the heat and stuff out of the house so it, you know, they can put it out better. And part of that is using a chainsaw to cut a hole in the roof. Well, the guy's showing me, Rob's showing me the chainsaw and I go, okay. So I gotta say, if I know anything about chainsaws, it's a 50, 50 shot on whether or not they're gonna start. And I was like, so how do you guys navigate that? Like you can't, like you get on the roof and you're just cranking this thing. He's like, give me a few minutes. I think I flooded it. That would be bad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Especially in a life threatening situation. She's like, we, we just, we just can't have that happen. We are constantly checking these things, servicing them, all that. I'm like, okay, cool. We get to the, we, we get to cutting the holes, starting the chainsaw, and that thing doesn't work. He's yanking on it. And I could just tell that he was very, very mad because like, it's also, it's kind of like one time when Ernest, the country artist, he played We Fest. And so I picked him up at We Fest before his show and brought him to our cabin and took him out on the boat. Ryan was there, and we got into the. We got it. Everyone's piling the boat. Everyone's having some beers, having a great time, and I. To start the boat, and it, like, won't even turn over. And I'm like, holy.

[B]

You have to hop on the jet ski.

[A]

It's like, these guys, you know, like, I'm about to show them a good Minnesota Midwest time here, and the boat won't start. And, like, we're talking, like, my. It's my dad's boat. We've had it now since 03, and it's like, we've never had any problems. And I'm jing it right now. Never had any problems. This thing not starting. Like, it's been a Great Boat for 23 years. And I'm like, of course, the one time I got some people out here trying to, like, show them a good time.

[C]

It doesn't.

[A]

The emergency clip was not clipped in. Kill the kill switch.

[D]

How long did it take to figure that out?

[A]

Too long. To where they started taking videos of me, laughing at me.

[C]

Yeah, it's pretty long.

[A]

Pretty long. But we got it. So. Yeah, it felt a little bit like he was feeling that in that moment. He's like, this thing starts up first every time. And of course, the one time we do a video. So I felt bad.

[D]

Got cameras in his face.

[A]

Yeah. And I was like, I, I, I, I take the fall. I totally jinx it. I did the same thing with the super bowl video when we did the snowmobile, and I asked Dante how sure he is it's going to start. You know, it's like. And he said 100%.

[C]

He said, like, it runs like a dream, too.

[A]

Yeah. Runs a dream. I just. He's like, I just was running it last week. Runs like a dream. And then we get it there. Me and Charlie do one little lap to test it, and it dies.

[D]

It starts smoking.

[B]

Well, that's even worse, too, when you're. When you're actually. When it starts, you're riding it, and then it just dies mid ride.

[C]

That's probably worse.

[B]

I think that'd be worse. Yeah.

[A]

Little tease.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So, yeah, you could strand yourself if you. Yeah.

[A]

If you want your equipment to run and start. Don't bring me along.

[B]

Nope. Or just have. Just sign something that says, I won't talk about it beforehand.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just. Yeah, just take my mouth shut.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, you definitely don't want to be with me in a situation where the grid goes out and you got to use a generator. You don't want to be with me for that.

[D]

You just dead.

[A]

You're just.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You're going to run out of your food, spoil in the fridge.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, if you didn't have bad engine luck, you would have no luck at all. So it's a good way to look at it.

[D]

Is it just engines or could. Is it anything like, should I. If I'm a bonfire, should I stay the hell away from you?

[A]

No, no. It's mostly just things you got to pull to start.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, I'm bad with pull the start.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. So that was pretty funny. Wild experience. You don't realize how intense the firefighting. When do you're like, got all the gear on. You sound like Bane or Darth Vader. And once you get all that on, it's just like, okay. Holy. I'm now in my. My scenario was like, like, rook. Like, you know, like video game you can play on rookie. Like, I was playing on, like, on, like, middle school. It was like a YMCA basketball level.

[C]

It was like a rookie tutorial.

[A]

Rookie tutorial?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

You're just learning controls.

[A]

You're literally learning the buttons of the game.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

And I was like, it was intense for me.

[C]

Right.

[A]

So shout out to all the firefighters out there, and if you. You guys should go to YouTube and check it out.

[D]

Yeah, watch. It is a great video. The only. My only. I wish you to put more of you in the bucket. High up in the bucket.

[A]

Well, that's the thing. We got so high up. The mic cut out. Oh, the wireless mic cut out.

[D]

I thought you cut it because you were scared.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

I want to see Miles be scared.

[A]

So that didn't make it in the video, but they took me up. I was like, all right. I do. I can't do this video without facing my fears and getting in the bucket. And you guys, like, the ladder, you know, on the. On the fire truck to go up as high as you can. So we get in there. He's like, it goes up to 80ft, and rarely are they doing 80 foot things, but they need it to go that far so that they can extend out further because sometimes they, like, can't get close enough. Yeah. So we go up. We're going up, up, up, up. And I was. We like, he like, stop. He's like, all right, there you go. I was like. I was like, God, we got to be getting close to 80ft here. We're so high up. I go, how high up? Or he goes, 30ft. I'm like, all right, well, let's Screw it. I want it. I'm doing this, right? Take me up even higher. And we goes for a little bit. I'm like, okay, we got to be close to 80ft. And then he goes, all right, we're now at 45ft.

[B]

Holy. Pretty much.

[A]

And then the wind was blowing a little bit. And the thing, like, you know, like, it's supposed to sway a little bit so that it's, like, in the wind. It's better, you know, like earthquakes and like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do buildings that are supposed to, like, weave a little bit because it's like. Yeah.

[C]

Anyway.

[A]

Yeah, you guys wouldn't get it, but physics thing. Yeah. So I was sweating my dick off a little bit.

[B]

What were you sweating more at? When we had to go up on that. On that scissor lift, the scissor left for sure.

[A]

Just because, like, this thing was very sturdy. Sure.

[D]

You were also with somebody who felt like a protector.

[A]

I was also.

[B]

That makes sense.

[A]

I was also tied off.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I had a safety harness.

[B]

So. Yeah.

[A]

Yep, that helped a little bit. But then. But then when we were at 45ft, he like, opened the little, like, gate. Because they have a gate so you can, like, go into a building if you need to high up. And he was just standing there with the gate open. I'm like, dude, you gotta shut. You gotta back away from the edge and you need to shut the gate.

[B]

Shut the gate.

[A]

Just shut the gate, man.

[B]

Open the gate.

[A]

But yeah. Huge shout out to the Southern Valley Fire and Rescue Horus, North Dakota team.

[C]

They got you that cool plaque.

[D]

Oh, yeah. That thing is sweet.

[B]

That right there, that's for the front of the helmet. Huh?

[A]

This is from Taylor's Tins.

[C]

Small business.

[A]

This is. I think it is. And so this goes on the front of the helmet.

[D]

They call them the shield, and that's the shield.

[A]

They just. They just had this made for me. There was not planned at all. So it's pretty cool.

[B]

Yeah, it's really cool.

[D]

He did a good job with the design. Maybe we need to maybe hire them.

[A]

Yeah, we should came up with the logo and everything.

[B]

I gotta give me one of them.

[C]

Well, you have to ask first.

[D]

You gotta go through the training.

[A]

No doing that, though. Ryan is the perfect guy to be a firefighter.

[B]

Why you say that?

[A]

Your personality.

[B]

Okay?

[D]

You have the mustache.

[A]

You just. You have the right mentality. You're very detail oriented.

[C]

You can make a sick chili.

[A]

You can make a sick chili. You got the mustache. You can be loose and having a good time, but you Also can be taking stuff very seriously.

[B]

Flip them switch.

[A]

Which is important. Plus, you're just like, a fit. Like, built guy. Decently built guy.

[B]

That's what firefighters are, my friends. Decently built, like me.

[D]

You love fires.

[B]

I do love fires. Yeah. I gotta get that. Burnt at my house, sitting there staring at me. And now I'm. Now I'm putting grass clippings on top, too. So now it's getting even bigger.

[D]

Holy.

[B]

Those are just gonna. Those are just gonna just sit there and smoke.

[A]

Smoke.

[B]

So now the smoke. Or now the wind has to be in the right direction, you know?

[A]

But you still haven't done the burn.

[B]

Not yet.

[A]

Are you gonna let us do any content? Because we've talked about doing a podcast and stuff in front of your burn pile, and the air in the room every time is always Ryan's like, but this is my burn pile.

[B]

Yeah, as long as I get to

[A]

start it and not your burn pile.

[B]

Right, as long as I get to start it.

[A]

So we kind of gave up on that because the vibe was that. And I thought you definitely burned it by now.

[D]

No.

[B]

God, no. South wind. Five to ten miles an hour if you guys see it on the forecast. Not that that's going to be accurate, because it never is. But let me. Weatherman doesn't want you, and we can go start it on fire.

[A]

I don't think, like, I like Boomer. Dads hate weathermen, but I think you hate weathermen more.

[B]

I've just been. I've been burnt too many times by weatherman. I run in my sprinklers and just assuming it's raining back home, I'm at the lake or something, come back and the grass is just frozen.

[A]

Well, that's your fault. I think I get the WI FI connecting low controller, though. Well, I adjust that from your phone.

[B]

No, like, that all works, but I. I just. I'm assuming it's not raining back home, so I don't even think about running the sprinklers.

[C]

You know what assuming does.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Yeah. You and me.

[B]

I know, I know.

[C]

So we'll get figured out. Doesn't it smell with all the grass clippings on it?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Yeah, it does.

[B]

Yeah, you're exactly right. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know what it smells like?

[C]

Actually, it doesn't smell good.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Compost pile. Now I know.

[B]

Yeah. And there's. I can't. I.

[A]

Why did you just throw your. Your kids poopy diapers on there if you're gonna put grass clipping?

[B]

Oh, dude, I've thought About throwing it.

[D]

Why don't you get the car batteries back in there?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What about the tires on air?

[B]

Tires? Yeah, everything, you name it. But I don't like. I assume it's pretty wet underneath there.

[C]

Pretty?

[D]

Probably so.

[B]

I mean it's just gonna sit there and smoke and smolder and what? So this could be a couple day process. I could be pulling an all nighter, maybe PTO the next day.

[C]

You would love that.

[A]

You.

[D]

You.

[A]

You haven't taken a day off since I told you you need to take a day off. So it could be a day off.

[D]

At this point you're disobeying orders.

[B]

I do got next Monday, Tuesday off.

[A]

What?

[B]

It's been submitted.

[D]

You slack me. You know that sop.

[A]

Did you let him know?

[D]

No. Wow.

[B]

Well, I'm pretty sure you approve somebody else's and mine would have been in there at the same time. I put this in like two weeks ago.

[D]

Not how it works. You got to slack me. That's the number one.

[C]

I didn't know I had slack you.

[D]

You did.

[B]

Thank you, Jared.

[C]

I didn't know that you slacked me.

[B]

Well, you can't just blame the SOP when. When you haven't been preaching the sop.

[A]

I have.

[D]

I chewed Jake's ass out in front of everybody in the chat. Like this is how we all need to do it from now on. You were there and you were like. You, Jake. Like four months ago when Jake was like all of a sudden like.

[B]

You think I remember that from four months ago?

[D]

You should. You're the operations guy.

[B]

I don't.

[D]

He remember when he was like. All of a sudden he's like, I'm gonna be gone for a whole week. And we're like, nobody fucking knew that.

[A]

I want you to. I want you to go over Tyler's head right now.

[B]

Can I get next Monday? Tuesday?

[D]

Yeah. You were always. You were always going to get it off.

[A]

Ryan's always getting off.

[B]

I submitted it. I just. I just. It's in Tyler's hands now.

[D]

Whatever happens, I'm going to find the conversation and just print it off.

[B]

Do it.

[D]

Leave it on the wall.

[B]

That. That would be a good reminder.

[D]

I just. You were the last person I thought I'd need to remind.

[A]

Also. We've been. We've been talking about. I just thought of this. We've been. We remember what like a year ago. We talked about the handyman party bus and we've been in the office have been trying to figure out. We're like, we should do it. We're like, we should do a YouTube video where we hire a party bus, we get our tool bags and a case of beer, and we go around and do it and. But the amount of logistics.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

To figure out which project to do. One, that we could do all four of our houses in the same day. One. And drive between them. Two, how do we ensure safety? Because we are still a business, you know? And so how do we, like, have the last project with us having some beers not turn into someone cutting their finger off.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But we. We definitely. I. I really want to do that video.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I think we should be a good time.

[D]

I think that it just come down to what projects we choose. Like, because we could. If we need to build a fence, like, we can handle that if the boards are cut ahead of time.

[A]

You know, just assembling the fence.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Like, we could.

[A]

No matter how many beers, I do trust myself with a drill.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah, I could.

[C]

We.

[D]

And we can. Yeah, we can dig a hole for a fence post drunk. That's not a big deal.

[A]

Yeah, but we're not doing it by hand. We're doing. Using an auger. And if you know anything, then we

[D]

get in a little trouble.

[A]

We're 50. 50 on whether that. And.

[D]

And we're not going to call ahead. We're not gonna. We're not gonna 411 before we.

[B]

Yeah, you're right. You're right.

[A]

Yeah. Sky. There's just. There's so many moving parts.

[B]

Like at my house, I. I just. I got some down trees that we could just pull them into the pile, make it even bigger. That requires actually no tools.

[D]

Well, it would be more fun to chain some up.

[A]

But then there's an aspect of us trying to build a deck. Well, intoxicated is electric, television.

[D]

It is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So anything less than that, I don't know. I just want to do it. I just want to do it bad.

[C]

We'll figure it out.

[A]

But anyways, what do you got for us today, Jared? A little rundown.

[C]

Boat owners with a cabin are different than boaters without a cabin.

[A]

Oh, yeah, they sure are. Boat owners with a cabin are. Yes. So, yeah, we were talking about this. They're like people who own a lake cabin and a boat. They don't give a. About their boat. They're treating that thing like it's just there. Yeah.

[D]

Beat the hell out of it.

[A]

It's like the dog that's too old and. And just like, it barks too much. You just put it in the corner.

[B]

Yeah. Because, like, put it outside for Example if you were, I'm. I'm thinking of yours and Charlie's video about digging the prop. Like if you ding the prop on your lake boat, like your lake cabin boat, you don't have to look at that prop until say two or three. Yeah. You just leave it in the water. You just. Out of sight, out of mind.

[D]

Yeah. You pull it in first week of October and you don't need to look at that again until May.

[B]

Yeah. You also don't have to worry about cleaning, cleaning your boat off for zebra mussels.

[D]

Yeah. Stays there. I have a question. I'm not a huge boat guy, but.

[A]

But yeah, go ahead.

[D]

Does transporting your boat damage it? Because I feel like boat owners that aren't on a lake are always working on the goddamn boat. There's always something wrong with it. But then like my grandparents have a camper in a campground with 40 boats. I've never once seen any of those people tinkering with their engine.

[A]

I think it's, it's kind of a situation though that because the boats in the water, it works. So as soon as one of those boats don't work, they take it out of the water and it's not there anymore.

[D]

But like, I never see them like with the hood of the engine open like fucking with shit. But my buddy Andy, every time I've ever been at his house, he's like, this fucking boat doesn't goddamn work. I mean, he's in the garage. My, my father in law, same shit.

[B]

Are they beater boats?

[D]

He's always working on us, but they're fine. They're nothing that you're gonna see at a boat show, but they're definitely not pieces of.

[B]

Yeah,

[A]

maybe it's like a higher standard too. Like my dad, as long as the thing turns over, he doesn't care what it sounds like or if when you put it in gear, it makes this terrible noise. As long as that prop is spinning fine.

[C]

As long as it floats.

[D]

Basically, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And I. Well, that's the funny thing about my dad's boat. So there's some sort of tiny leak in one of the rivets on the hull and our bilge pump doesn't work anymore. And my dad tried to fix the bilge pump with my uncle when I was gone one weekend and they said that I couldn't get at it. So now the, the new operational system we have is that every once in a while, once it's. We put all the way up on the lift and we just have to pull the plug and drain everything out while it's on the L. So how long until one of us forgets to put the plug back in?

[D]

Boat dies across the lake. You haven't. You haven't pulled the plug in a while. You're just taking on water.

[A]

No. The reason why I found that out is because my brother had some buddies out and they were cruising along my dad's like, boat looks like it's like really low, riding the water. And then we got it onto the lift and, like, the lid was so heavy, the lift could, like, barely get it up.

[C]

Water logs.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Quite literally.

[A]

But hey, now we know that and we can. It'll never be an issue.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because we'll just pull them.

[B]

As long as you guys know.

[A]

Right. There's no way no one's ever gonna forget to put the plug back in.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

As long as the symptoms, not the source, it's fine.

[A]

But yeah, I feel like it's a great example. Like, my dad doesn't give a about that boat. He's like, I'm running it until it literally cannot run anymore. And then he. My dad did it, Right. My dad's only had to buy one boat in his whole life. He did buy a new boat back in 2003, and he made it last long enough to where if that thing goes to me or my brothers are going to have to buy the next boat. So my dad literally in his life only because he'll be like, I'm not buying another boat. You guys do it.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Your kids are the ones that are using it all the time.

[D]

You guys owe me for wrecking my boat. Yeah.

[B]

The prop on that thing, too. Oh, my God.

[D]

I could not believe one of the dings legitimately. Looks like somebody took a bite out of a prop.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like a world record northern.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Came up and just snapped that.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

This looks.

[B]

He thought it was just like one of them. One of them spoons flipping through the water, you know?

[A]

But right now we are in. We're in the perfect time to have a super dinged up prop because, like, all the kids are young, so, like, we only just troll around.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It still works.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, as long as it works too. If you ding it up again, like, it doesn't matter at this point.

[A]

Yeah. But like, people who don't own a cabin and they're constantly pulling their boat in and out and parking in their garage or their driveway or whatever, I feel like they're wiping that thing down.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Waxing it, vacuuming it out, checking the spark Plugs.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

I don't know how old our spark plugs are on our boat. They probably don't even make that bottle of spark plug anymore.

[B]

Yeah. Eventually you guys are just gonna have to hold a lighter in there just to get them going.

[C]

Yeah. The Sir Alex. Made of asbestos.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, like the. The. The light on the back when you're going at night. Broke on our boat.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so my dad just got a flashlight and a pole and took. And took, like, a clamp and clamped the pole to the edge of the boat and then took electrical tape and taped the flashlight to the pole. And you just have to turn it on.

[D]

I love it.

[B]

That seems way more convenient. Honestly, that's just double A's. Yeah. You ain't got to worry about, you know, wiring up to the battery or anything.

[A]

But now. But now that doesn't work. And so literally, if we can't go out, peer at dark, but if we do catch ourselves right as it's, like, getting pretty dark, the mode is just having someone sit in the back of the boat with their iPhone flashlight and just kind of going like this.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But it's like I was fishing by myself late last night, and the front thing worked, but as I was riding it, I just took out my flashlight and just held it up like this.

[B]

By the time that boat becomes yours and your brother's, you're just gonna. If you go to sell it, it'll just be for parts.

[A]

No, I mean, that thing's never getting sold. It's just going to the dump at some point.

[C]

Great use out of it. Oh, yeah.

[A]

God.

[B]

Dude paid itself off.

[A]

I think we can get it to 30 years.

[C]

You have to, at this point, because

[A]

then my kid will probably be around 8 or 9 years old, and then, you know, we'll really start hammering. Yeah.

[D]

Get it to 35 so that he can ding the prop, too.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, Right.

[D]

A pass.

[A]

You're gonna have three generations of prop dinging.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Get to 60 so his kids could take the problem.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. One thing I was thinking about, too, is my buddy has. My buddy has a boat, but he doesn't have a lake cabin. So I don't remember last time we were out fishing maybe a year ago, pull up a fish out of the water, and naturally, I just, like. I don't bring it straight up to my hand. I just. I just, you know, put the fish down on the floor, and it almost seemed like that was a problem, that I was getting fish slime on the floor.

[A]

That sucks. And is it a Fishing boat.

[B]

It's a fishing boat. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And oh, like, I couldn't even imagine, like, had this thing swallowed the hook and you got. You got players getting blood on the floor or something like that. I can't imagine the conversation we'd have had after that.

[A]

Well, you just shampooing the car?

[B]

Yeah. He might have just brought me in the landing. Say you sit on the dock until I come back.

[D]

It'd be like moving out of an apartment. You need a receipt for professional carpet cleaner. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I'm like.

[D]

To lose your deposit. You paid to fish with him?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like buying a couch and putting a clear plastic cover over it. That's what he needs to do. He needs to get some, like, some plastic wrap to go down.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It looks like an episode of Dexter, but for fish.

[B]

Yeah. And now, like, in that situ. If I'm in that situation again, I'm just gonna. You guys have seen cars too. When. When Mater says, don't fix my dents. These dents are important to me. It's all I got all these dents with my buddy, Lightning McQueen. If I get. If I buy a fishing boat someday and I get blood on it, my kid catches a nice fish, gets blunt. I'm leaving it. I'm not gonna clean it.

[D]

Parents. And they put a frame around the drawing when the kid draws the wall.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

I burnt the carpet on our thing. I. We were using. My mom had a cr. For some reason, at. A creme brulee torch.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Like a kitchen torch.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

On the boat.

[A]

Well, we were using it to light firecrackers. The. The underwater ones. And I just left the torch on and set it on the boat.

[D]

Really?

[A]

It melted the carpet in this area. It's still there.

[B]

Yeah, that's fine.

[C]

Yeah. It's a great conversation piece on the boat.

[A]

Yeah, it is, right? Yeah.

[B]

How big of a cigarette were you smoking that night?

[A]

There's a huge dent with like a blue little scuff mark on the side of the boat. Because we. We went to like, a baseball. Maybe like a twins baseball game or something. And we got novelty, like, bats and my brother. My brother swinging the bat in the water to try to hit balls. And it's just like, there's no grip on it. His hands were wet. Slipped out of his hand and just wh. Whacked the boat.

[C]

Hell, yeah. It's like you at the Whiple Ball World Series.

[D]

Yeah. Up right now. Yeah. I still have the scars.

[C]

Great conversation piece.

[A]

They did have grip. I just had sunscreen on my hands. So funny that I did that. That was maybe. That was maybe the lowest point for me as an athlete in my life.

[D]

Is the wiffle World Series first swing.

[A]

The lowest it's ever been.

[C]

And it hit me and Tyler.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Comedy movie more. So the whole experience of, like, how bad we were. Total.

[D]

Yeah, we weren't good.

[A]

Was terrible.

[D]

I think the saving grace, though, is we had solid defense if we were a show in the field, too.

[A]

I tried to call you off on that one. That hurt my Achilles where we plowed the fence over. But you just. I was the center fielder. I called him off.

[D]

The one I was camped under said, mine, mine, mine. That I called first.

[A]

And obviously I skied it and. And I came down with the rock,

[B]

you know, I mean, center fielder has priority over anyone.

[D]

Me.

[B]

Even if you do call it off first, I.

[D]

But I wasn't gonna move. I'm camped under. Was just a quick three steps back. Got it right here. Me. Me.

[A]

Miles.

[D]

Me.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, like. I mean, like, if you're Michael Jordan, you're gonna let you know.

[C]

Steve Kershoot, a three.

[D]

He's all by himself.

[A]

Let's Steve Kerr shoot the game winner

[C]

in the 97 finals.

[A]

Why would he ever do that?

[B]

He's Michael Jordan.

[A]

That's not gonna end well. Whoopsies.

[B]

But, yeah, it was probably.

[A]

I think I figured out, though, why if you own a cabin and a boat, you don't give a about the boat. But if you don't own a cabin on a boat, you care so much. Cabin owners are pouring the same energy that bone owners put into it. They're just putting it into the cabin.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Because it's way more valuable than the boat.

[B]

Correct.

[D]

Boats lower on the priority list because they got to make sure that the lights turn on in the cabin.

[A]

Yeah. It's like if you're a broke college student, you're like, 10 bucks is like, that's crazy amount of money. But if you make a hundred thousand dollars a year, you're like, yeah, I'll give 10 bucks to the. To the boy Scouts.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or the scouts. Now they're not boy Scouts anymore. They're just Scouts.

[C]

That's right.

[D]

So my wife bartends on the weekends sometimes. And this last weekend, their bar closes at 11. She was there at, like, till like, 1:30 because the boy Scouts came in and we're partying late. Like. Like the counselors.

[B]

Oh, the counselors.

[D]

Like, there was, like, the end of their week of camp and they came and she's like, yeah, there was like 50 boy scout counselors there.

[A]

Just all scouts.

[D]

Yeah, sorry. Scout counselors. There just scout cancers that were.

[B]

That were males.

[D]

I. Yeah, I would assume. I think so.

[A]

But there could have been.

[D]

Yeah, Scouts. Great tippers. So shouts to them.

[A]

Oh, let's go.

[D]

Our donations are going to the right place.

[A]

Tyler's finally gonna get that baseboard heat in his house.

[D]

Here we go.

[A]

Thanks to the sc.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

You should have traded for cookies.

[A]

I sold that.

[D]

I sold it. Baseboard heater for the exact same price. I bought it.

[B]

You did.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

You tell them that? Did you tell them how it works?

[D]

No, I. It's a pay it forward situation. We both all. We all have to learn the same way.

[A]

I guarantee no one else speaks.

[D]

He probably knew it already.

[C]

I would have made that mistake.

[D]

Thanks, Jared.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I think the same goes for fish houses, too. Like. Like winter, like, ice fishing houses. If you got lake cabin, you have your ice house out like it is.

[A]

Throw it out.

[B]

Yeah, you just throw it out there if there's a storm.

[A]

But if you don't have a cabin and you got a ice castle, you're

[B]

like, that's your Taj Mahal. Yeah. Yep, yep.

[A]

Because it's just about, like, priorities, you know, you don't get as stressed about things you used to get stressed about now that you have children.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, totally.

[A]

You know, it's like, oh, the water heater went out in the cabin. I don't give a. About wiping down my boat.

[B]

Correct.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, I feel like too. I feel like a lot of the damage is gonna happen at the ramp. Like, you come in, like, if you come into the trailer at a little bit too far of an angle, you. You put the point right into the dock.

[C]

Oh, you jack it up. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. That's worth some damn. And if you only have to. But if you only have to do that once a year, obviously damage is going to be limited.

[A]

Yeah, all the damage is going to happen to the prop when you're correct around not putting the motor.

[D]

Yeah. Our lake spot is right next to the public access. It's like, just on the other side of the fence from our lake. And some dude was trying to. I don't know if he just put the trailer in too far or what, but he had like a. Like a jeep like yours, kind of. And he could not get the boat out. Just sat there and burned out on those cement

[B]

gaps in between the cement slabs.

[D]

He couldn't move. It was so funny.

[A]

What if that Was. Jared, is that you, Jared?

[C]

Was it a black Jeep?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I don't think so.

[B]

Were you pulling a boat?

[D]

It was dark. It was a dark color, but it wasn't like a Wrangler or whatever, like the boxy Jeeps. It was a Cherokee.

[C]

A compass.

[D]

Yeah, it was a compass or a Cherokee or something like that.

[C]

Might have been me.

[B]

Were you pulling the boat?

[C]

I was pulling the boat.

[B]

Really?

[D]

How. How did you get it out? Because dude eventually just gave up. He took the boat off of it and then brought it onto the other side of the public access dock and tied it off and took off.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, you just call. You just call somebody.

[D]

I'm sure he was going to get help.

[C]

But us Jeep owners, though, all Jeep. Other Jeep owners. So I knew a Jeep owner with a winch in front, and he pulled me out.

[D]

Nice. Good, because he was able to get

[A]

out once you guys got out and went. And you exchanged ducks.

[D]

Exactly. They were just.

[A]

And then you guys. And then you guys touch tips and

[C]

he said that was the first time he ever used his wedge.

[A]

So he's very happy, Very happy about that.

[D]

Finally, dude, he drove an hour to help you.

[A]

And then you guys took the top. You put the top back on and made out in the back.

[C]

That's why I got a hickey on my neck.

[A]

That's why he's got a hooded sweatshirt on today.

[D]

That's turtleneck.

[C]

That's why I always wear hoodies because I have Jeep hickeys.

[A]

Jerry's like the. The best part about helping another Jeep owner is the make out session in the backseat afterwards.

[D]

It's the happy endings.

[C]

Cooled seats. Gets hot there.

[A]

Yeah. I love fogging up the plastic windows in the back seat.

[C]

All the duckies watching.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

We had to turn the ducks away. They can't watch this.

[B]

Yeah. And if the top's off, then I don't even have to put my hair up anymore because the wind just keeps my hair, my face.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

And then you. I'm glad you got out of there. And then.

[A]

And then afterwards, you towel off with the, with the spare tire cover off the back, zip that off and towel off.

[C]

Towel off each other.

[A]

And it usually says, life is good on it.

[B]

You just, you wear the spare cover. You wear the spare tire cover. Like, just like, as, like pants, cut a couple holes on the bottom because your other ones are just full of

[A]

you just so much fluid.

[D]

It's the Jeep version of stealing a sweatshirt.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Cover.

[A]

Oh, I. He used. Jared now uses that guy's Spare. Spare tire cover as a pillowcase.

[D]

Y.

[A]

Like. Like a. Like a girlfriend will use your shirt as a pillowcase on trips.

[C]

Yeah, it's exactly what happened.

[A]

I'm so happy for you.

[D]

Good. I'm glad he got out.

[B]

You got out of there. That's all that matters.

[D]

There was a line of people trying

[A]

to get into the place you got at the boat landing. You guys came up with a new definition for docking.

[C]

Jeep docking.

[A]

Jeep docking.

[C]

Yeah. So it was a nice, stressful Saturday.

[B]

You were able to.

[A]

I mean, that's like my personal health.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Getting stuck out in the back of a Jeep.

[A]

No, that's my personal heaven.

[C]

Is this heaven? No, it's the backseat of a Jeep.

[D]

Jeep.

[B]

That's a great. It'd be a great slogan for the back of a tire cover.

[A]

Now, now slap one on me, baby.

[D]

It's like Jeep's only fans account.

[C]

Yeah,

[A]

But yeah, I mean, just like anything bad happening at a boat landing is my. Would be my personal especially.

[D]

He had an audience too.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that thing. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I would be sweating bullets if that was me. I think I'd end up just cockeyeing my boat and then just trying to figure it out up on the landing because my boat's light enough to where I can. I could just pick the back up and move it.

[D]

Oh, you mean like putting it on the trailer? Weird. Yeah, gotcha.

[B]

I cockeye that.

[C]

There'd be a certain point where it's like you just gotta bail and just leave the boat.

[B]

Leave the boat.

[D]

Let it float away. It's somebody else's boat.

[B]

Drop the trailer up there and leave.

[A]

You park on the other side of the dock. And then someone walks up and just be like. You just be like, Yeah, I don't. I don't know whose boat that is.

[B]

It's been sitting there all morning. I caught my limit already.

[C]

There's no stickers on it. I don't know who's is it. Who's.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Wasn't registered or anything, I don't think.

[A]

No way.

[B]

I forgot my rod.

[A]

What you do is you. You somehow get the hitch off of your car. You. You park down the way, then you walk over there. And so then your trailer is just sitting in the way for people to launch their boats. And you get. You join the mob. Somebody pull that out. What the hell? What the hell? And you're like, God. Well, I guess like someone should probably just hook up to it and get it out of the way and park it over by that Jeep.

[B]

Ancient 78 ball, isn't it? I got one of them in the back of my truck.

[C]

My jeep.

[B]

Don't worry, guys, I'll get rid of it.

[D]

You just wait till midnight where there's nobody left. It's pitch dark, and then you pull. Get a hook up to that thing and drive off.

[B]

You're standing by it the whole day, though, because if someone else. No, no, no, no, I. I got it, I got it. I'm gonna have a talk with this guy. If he shows back up again, I'm

[D]

actually gonna put a hitch lock on it just to keep it safe. Yeah.

[C]

Shows up, you're there for like 12 hours.

[D]

Well, yeah, still waiting for the guy to get here, dude. How does. How was the fishing, though?

[B]

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, good spots.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm just waiting for him to come back so I can give him a piece of my mind. Idiot.

[C]

Kick his ass.

[A]

That poor guy. Tar.

[D]

Yeah, I know. It was secondhand embarrassment for sure. It's tough.

[C]

He ain't showing back up to that lake for a while.

[D]

No, he. Yeah, it was not. Not with his jeep. I promise that.

[B]

The lake I would typically dock in, there's. It's like right next to where the river connects. So there's a. There's a pretty decent current at the boat landing docks. You want to see people get stressed out and coming in cockeyed, go to that boat landing. Because it is impossible. Dude, I don't know. It's impossible to play the current the correct way to where, like, you go in far enough and then you get the back to kind of push towards, like, like farther downstream. And then you rip it on. It's. Yeah, it's.

[A]

I think I could whistle it on there, no problem.

[C]

I think if they should set up like a live cam near, like the busiest, like, public access dock.

[A]

It's like. Well, that's the thing. They should. Like the interstate system has cameras at spots. You could, like, see what the weather's like along the interstate. We should just do that. And then they just disguise it as. Oh, so you can go on there and see if a landing is busy or not. And so that we can improve, you know, operations. Operations and then. But it's really just a way to just get CCTV footage of people just failing.

[B]

Yeah. Like, we're trying to. We're like. We're trying to track down if anyone is transporting aquatic species.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know.

[C]

Oh, but I think we would have that on the TV all the time here if there was something.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

For sure. I mean, if I'm chive, I'm maybe investing in that.

[D]

Yeah, that's great bar television.

[A]

Great bar television.

[B]

Especially if it was the bar at the lake with the landing.

[D]

Yeah. And then you recognize someone come in and the bar just erupts like there is.

[C]

You place bets on it.

[A]

I mean, I'm. If I'm a lake bar investor, I'm buying land that's either one, a perfect landing spot or right next to the landing. And I'm building a huge deck that overlooks the landing. The amount of people that would come drink at your spot and though. And the. The bar would be called cheap seats.

[B]

Oh, I like that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Or peanut gallery.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you just go drink on the patio and watch people launch their boats. Well, in the benefit, that's like a great idea.

[B]

That's going to eliminate a lot of people coming out of lake too. And it can be more efficient.

[A]

Like, it's true, but also stressed out. You get stressed from that. You get to just go drink at the bar afterwards.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And that's. Yeah, that's the thing. The people that are bad at it, stressed out, they come and drink. If they do a really good job, you give them a free. You get them a wooden nickel.

[B]

There we go. There we go.

[D]

So they come back later to take

[A]

it a step further. Another way to make revenue for this bar is you have one person on staff that you can pay them like 25 bucks to launch and dock your boat.

[D]

For sure.

[A]

It's a good idea. And while you get a. Get some. Get a burger basket.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

That's all we're going to have is burger basket and.

[A]

And pizza to go cut into squares.

[C]

Yeah. Frozen pizza to go.

[D]

Go.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Text leave. Oh, not too bad.

[B]

I feel like if you really want to test a marriage, you. You put a husband and wife in a vehicle, have one of them back it down, one of them in the boat and see how things.

[A]

No, no, no. If you want to test a marriage, you put the wife in the driver's seat and have the husband outside trying to direct it. That will test a marriage.

[C]

My heart's beating fast.

[A]

Fight or flight is going while they're

[B]

getting chirped by the peanut gall. Might as well have a leg. Just have divorce papers just stacked up and back.

[C]

And I would like the PE Gallery to, like, have big speakers so when somebody's struggling, it plays, like, really stressful music at them. Yeah. Jaws.

[B]

You could even have a big boom mic that's like just way up, hanging down. Pick up audio from.

[A]

Yeah, it's like.

[D]

Or Happy Gilmore heckles.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Jackass.

[A]

If it was. If it was cheap seats, you could also have like a. Like a baseball theme bar as well. And you could have an organ player

[B]

playing Take me out to the ball.

[C]

Charge.

[B]

Yeah, it's a good idea.

[A]

Jeopardy. Music as they're. As they're about to pull it out. Charge.

[D]

Yeah,

[A]

cheap seats. That would be great.

[B]

That's a good idea.

[A]

We should start a bar chirping from the cheap seats and then you can pay a dollar to get on a microphone and chirp from the cheap seats.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You get one chirp.

[A]

Well, one you pay. You could do 10 bucks and you do 10. Church.

[B]

Yes. Yeah. $. Chirp.

[A]

Instead of having karaoke night, it's just chirp night.

[C]

They'll be after the beat raffle. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And if you can endure that, like, if you can flawlessly just execute the boat landing.

[A]

You get a free drink.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You get forget. But you're gonna be the guy who sinks a winning putt on 18 of four man scramble. With everyone watching.

[D]

Watching you perform under pressure. It might become a great military recruiting spot.

[B]

That's very true.

[C]

Clutch. Jeez.

[B]

Yeah, we get the military.

[D]

This guy is cool, calm, cool and collected under the most intense pressure possible.

[A]

There's no higher pressure in the world.

[D]

Yeah. So we need you.

[C]

Welcome to West Point.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

This guy's got balls of steel. I watched him whistle back at a 25 foot bayliner while everyone was chirping at him. Half in the bag.

[C]

Windy as.

[A]

All right. Should we take a break?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, guys, Big moment for the. You bet. Your radio podcast.

[D]

Huge.

[A]

This. This office is run on basically nicotine pouches. And that's what allows us to do what we do. And we finally got a nicotine pouch sponsors, the Lucy Breakers. Give it up for Lucy doing that. And so we've been hammering the Lucy breakers in the office.

[D]

Yeah. I got the O.G.

[A]

lucy, are you going?

[D]

Oh, gee, I like the OGs.

[A]

See, I like. So Lucy Breaker folks. Probably wondering what that is. There's like a little flavor thing inside the pouch. And my favorite part is cracking it with my teeth and then just having the flavor ooze into my mouth. Yeah.

[B]

The sound of the breaker breaking is. It's a satisfying sound. It's like. It's like popping a nice. Is it?

[A]

But. But not that.

[D]

But good.

[B]

Yeah. Like in terms of satisfaction.

[A]

And what I like about it is that the flavors are really good. Not like too much in your face.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I Like a nicotine pouch that's got just good, solid flavor that's not gonna just like, overpower everything. And so I've been. I've been doing the mint lucy breakers, the 4 milligram.

[B]

Yeah. I've been back and forth with the. The berry citrus and the apple ice. Apple ice is kind of interesting.

[D]

No, I'm on an apple ice right now. It's my first time trying the apple ice Fire. I'm a big fan. Fan. I was like, apple and mint, that's kind of a weird combination, but it's.

[A]

Do you have an apple ice in right now?

[D]

I do.

[A]

Can I?

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, the one. I don't. I don't want the one in your mouth. I just want the one in your mouth so I can just taste it. So, guys, I was getting a little

[D]

loosey goosey on this one.

[A]

I'm a little loosey goosey now. There we go. We found it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So, guys, if you want to get a little loosey goosey with the boys and you want to get 20% off an order of the Lucy breakers or the Lucy Regular, you got to go to Lucy Co. You betcha. And use code you betcha. On the website, and you can buy them online. We are enjoying them thoroughly here at the office. So if you are doing nicotine pouches and you are of legal age, go check them out at Lucy Co. You betcha Use CO promo code. You betcha. All one word. And they also have them in stores, so they have a store locator on the website if you want to just buy them in your town if they got them. So go check them out. We're loving them, and you should definitely try them out if you have. Never have. And also, guys, Lucy products are only for adults of legal age, and every customer is age verified. Warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. All right, guys, we're fully into golf season, and I don't know about you guys, but I'm a. I'm a sunglasses on while I'm golfing guy.

[D]

I wasn't for a long time, but I am now.

[B]

It's kind of like a don't knock it till you try it type. Type deal.

[A]

Yeah, I actually. It was golfing on Father's Day, and I looked around at my brothers and my dad, and they weren't wearing sunglasses. And I just was thinking, and you guys would be so much better at golf if you're wearing Shady Rays.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

You know, like me, I did get second, but you would have Got third without him. That's right. And so if you are an avid golfer, Shady Rays are. It's the place for you. It's the place you need to go. Jared's wearing the color Rush right now. And Ryan, remind me again what's going on with the color Rush and why it's so important in golf to have color rushes on.

[B]

The color Rush just makes it makes the white golf ball more prominent in. In the grass. So you're able to find it a

[A]

little bit easier because this is when I'm.

[C]

This is.

[A]

This is a verbal, an audio visual of me on the golf course when I'm not wearing Shady Rays. Ryan, I want you to swing and hit the ball. I lost it. Now I want you to do it. This is me wearing Shady Rays. Oh, yeah. You're gonna probably be able to play it from there. You're just. You see that second tree on the right straight? Yeah, you're way past that. You're right down by the river.

[B]

Went straight.

[D]

Right here's me wearing Car Rush when Miles hits. Oh, yeah, that's in the water. I see it.

[B]

Yeah, it's about 8. It's about 18. I can't see it.

[A]

I'm not wearing Shady Rays. And so there's a ton of glare off the water. Where did it go in? So I know where to drop, Tyler.

[D]

Oh, it went in about 13ft off the end of the tee box.

[A]

Okay. All right. So now I'll just drop right there, drop my pants down to my ankles and hit again. And see, folks, that's the importance of wearing Shady Rays in the golf course.

[B]

Shade raise on. Pants up.

[A]

You gotta get those polarized glasses so you can see your ball go into the water. Crystal clear. Nice one. Yeah, you can watch your ball go into the water with no glare whatsoever. So if you guys want to be a better golfer, go to shadyrays.com use code YBR. For 50 off two or more pairs of polarized glasses, you and your cart mate can have a pair and it's for the price of one.

[B]

That's a great deal.

[A]

It is a great deal. So go check it out. Shadyrays.com use code YBR. And speaking of cart mate, folks, the next segment is drum roll for Jared,

[C]

how to be a good golf cart mate.

[D]

Yeah, there we go.

[B]

Is it a good golf cart mate or good golf. Is it might.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Is it.

[A]

Is it how to be a good golf cart mate? Like, is it like, how do you personally be a good golf cart? Or is it about your golf cart Mate. Or how do you be a good golf?

[C]

Golf.

[A]

Car mate it is.

[B]

Golf cart.

[A]

Are you talking to your car mate about how to be good golf or is it.

[C]

Oh, I see.

[A]

I missed the T. You know, punctuation is important. Jared and spelling. Yeah, spelling.

[C]

Sorry, I'll change it right now.

[A]

Wait, I don't. Oh, I didn't. I wasn't. I didn't even realize that. But yeah, spelling's tough for you.

[D]

Not this year.

[C]

Not this year.

[A]

How dare you throw shady rays at. At the reigning champ of the yellow jacket.

[D]

Shady strays.

[A]

Put some. I caught a shady stray from Jared after. After. I'm sitting here in my yellow jacket comfortably.

[C]

Sorry. I don't know what got into me. I'm sorry. It's.

[A]

It's almost comfortably. I still got to bring the hem up on the sleeve a little bit. But my. My. Taylor's out of town. Great band name. Taylor's out of town.

[C]

Foreign.

[A]

Let's get into the segment.

[B]

How do you guys think it?

[A]

How to be a good golf cart mate.

[C]

What did that phrase wrong?

[A]

How to be. How to be.

[D]

You didn't.

[B]

It's not wrong. We're just being us.

[A]

How to be a good buddy in the golf cart.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think one is. I think the first way to be a. A. The best way to be a good golf cart. What is it?

[D]

Cart mate.

[A]

Cart mate.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Cart partner is the correct terminology.

[A]

Hold on. Hold for sneeze.

[B]

I got a curtain.

[A]

I'm still.

[C]

You're getting allergies.

[A]

No, I'm. I'm still. I'm still sick. Oh. But you can't tell because I got sudafed rolling through the veins.

[D]

He's fed up again. I'm.

[A]

I'm day three on the bad. Oh, no.

[B]

Just look up in the sky and say pineapple.

[C]

Pineapple. That is kind of work.

[B]

Works every time. See, I told you.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

First ever YBR stes.

[B]

Actually, I looked might be this A in history. YBR history.

[A]

First documented sneeze. Put it in the Lou. These Lucy breakers got me feeling some type of way goosey. Feeling loosey. Goosey. All right, here's how you. Here's how you be a good golf cart mate. Make sure that after your buddy it's a bad shot, you tell him exactly what he's doing wrong. Yeah, because you wouldn't want him to sit there and stoop. You know, you want to make sure that you're getting that advice into his brain as fast as possible so you can just move on to the next shot. I Think that's number one?

[D]

Yeah, I think number two is to make sure that you either park really far away from the ball or you park right fucking next to his ball

[A]

or right behind the ball.

[D]

Yeah. Like, you gotta get in just. Just kind of in a weird spot next to the ball now. Not convenient.

[A]

Make sure that the shadow from the roof is half on the ball and half not. Just so he knows where the sun's coming in from.

[D]

Yes. Yeah. You got. I have another one. Unless you're ready to go. Ryan.

[B]

I was just gonna say, if one person's pissed, then you both gotta be pissed.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

There's no. There can't be a golf cart with only one pissed person. I think it's dual pissed.

[D]

I would also say to be a good golf cart partner, you would. Don't watch where their ball's going when they hit it.

[A]

Always be on your phone when they're hit?

[D]

Yeah, always. Because they don't. If they hit it bad, they don't want you to see it. It's embarrassing.

[A]

Yeah. What are you gonna say? Oh, man, you're in the woods again.

[D]

Yeah. So just don't even pay attention to any of their shots.

[B]

I also think if the Bev car comes by, you just get one for yourself. I'll just leave that. You don't want to just assume that someone, you know, they might be a recovering alcoholic or something like that. You don't just want to assume they're gonna be drinking with you.

[C]

They're probably a serial killer.

[B]

They could be a serial killer. Yeah. And if. Especially if they're driving. Definitely. Definitely only get one for yourself.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

I just went.

[D]

Oh, okay. Yeah, I just got done talking, Jeff. Yeah. Definitely play pranks on your partner. Unstrap his bag from your own cart so when you drive off, the bag falls out and it breaks your 400 putter. And your name is Connor.

[A]

Oh, shots. First of all, who's the idiot? The person who played the prank or the person who bought a 400 putter?

[D]

I got it for free, but it was really nice and I loved it.

[A]

Yeah. Play lots of shenanigans. You know, I would. I'd take out all of his balls and just scuff them on the concrete, the car path.

[C]

And then.

[A]

And then. And then when he's like, God, what the hell? Oh, my balls are all flying weird, you'd be like, gotcha.

[B]

And then you can pants him.

[A]

Pants him mid shot. Yeah, that would be great.

[D]

Stay low so you don't get caught in the backswing.

[B]

Pants Him. But then you have to follow it up with a tabletop.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then he turns around and goes, what the fuck, man? And then your buddy goes. Gets behind you, stand up, and you push him over.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And then.

[D]

And then you grab his shorts, pull them off, and then you drive off in the cart.

[B]

Yeah. You throw his shorts in the pond because that's where they belong.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

Especially if he doesn't get a passive women's tee box.

[A]

I think another way to be a good golf card mate is make sure that your golf. Your other mate is abiding by every single PGA rule possible.

[D]

Yeah. Don't let him.

[A]

If he's up against a tree, let him know he has to play it as it lies.

[B]

Well, something that really helps, too, is that if you count their shots for them.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Then there's going to be no discrepancies as to what you got.

[A]

Count them out loud.

[B]

Yeah. That's a huge one.

[A]

That's two.

[D]

Especially when it falls. Right. It falls off the T. That is one. So just make sure you let him know. That's one.

[A]

If he accidentally taps it on the T. That is one.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I was supposed to get better and then cheating ourselves.

[A]

Then if he puts it back on the T, let him know that that's. It's a double penalty stroke, too.

[B]

He's laying two right now.

[D]

All right.

[A]

That you're laying three. This is four.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Stuff like that.

[D]

Yeah. And when.

[A]

Because, like, he's already got a lot to think about with all of his swing thoughts. If he had to keep pants on either at this point. So, like, if. If he's got. If he's got to keep score in his head as well, then, like, I mean, it's just too much for one guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And at the end of the hole, when he tells you his score, even if he tells you the right score, ask him if he's short. Sure.

[C]

Are you sure?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Just question.

[A]

Double check.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You can't get better cheating yourself.

[A]

I think for you, when he asks what your score is, always shave off one stroke because you want to get invited back.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And if you're too bad of a golfer, you know, if they're like, oh, this guy, he shoots way over par. We don't want to golf him anymore, so just shave off some. Some strokes off your thing. He'll love that.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, I mean, the best way to get good at something is to always have something to chase. Right. Something better than you. So if you're always better, him by a couple strokes. He's always going to try to improve.

[A]

Iron sharpens iron in this situation. If he sees you sharpening your irons with shaving off scores, then he's also going to require to be better.

[B]

That's correct. If you ever, if you ever have like a tough shot like off a car path or like off some gravel or something, it's usually best to ask if you can use one of his clubs because it's like one of those shots that you don't practice with your own club. But having a foreign club in your hand, like, actually feels pretty good.

[D]

And honestly don't, don't even make it off.

[A]

I don't know why that makes you a good golf cart mate, but sure, yeah, fucking do it.

[D]

Yeah, just use his club.

[A]

What's the advantage to the golf cart mate?

[B]

You have somebody else's clubs to hit off car path.

[D]

It just makes you good by allowing the part dude to use yours.

[A]

Okay, so you're, you're letting him scuff your club?

[B]

No, no, no, no. I'm. I'm going to use my golf cart maybe mates.

[A]

Right, but what, how is that benefit being. How does that make you a good golf cart mate? Like, what is the advantage that the other guys get it?

[B]

Well, I don't want to. If I, if I end up scuffing my own club, I'm gonna be mad the rest.

[A]

Oh, that's true. Yeah. For vibe purposes. That's actually a really good idea.

[B]

Exactly.

[D]

Yeah. It's like a baseball bat. Everyone knows that about irons. You got to break them in.

[B]

Yeah. You ain't gonna hit a home run with on the first swing with a new baseball.

[A]

That's so true. If you scuff your own club, you're gonna be pissed the rest of the surrounding me. Bad vibes.

[B]

It's a vibe check.

[A]

So like, hey, man, I could use my own club off of this cart path. But I just, I'm, I'm kind of a vibes guy. I'd like to keep it good. So can I scuff your club up instead?

[B]

That's correct.

[A]

That is smart.

[B]

Yeah, yeah,

[C]

yeah.

[B]

And if you guys are both in the mode of like trying to get better too, there's no use in trying to give him like, like one or two foot gimme putt putts. Those are things that your cart mate should putt out. And if they miss, that does count.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's supposed to get better without. Even, without, without even finishing the hole.

[D]

Yeah. There are no gimmicks Even if he's just two inches from the cup and he picks it up, that's penalty stroke. It's. That's not how you play golf.

[A]

That's.

[D]

That's the hole.

[B]

And then make sure you keep score. I think that's a big one, too. If you keep score, then you can put down his actual score because you know he's gonna be flubbing it to. Towards you. And at the end of the round when he questions you, then fight him. Fight him.

[A]

Just.

[B]

Especially if you're at your home course and be like, I'm never inviting you back here again. If you're going to question my scorekeeping skills.

[C]

He's just a random.

[B]

I don't care who you are. We're trying to make each other better in this world, especially on the golf course, we don't have much time to golf. We only have a slim window to get better.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I also think show up without any balls. Borrow his, because it's a great icebreaker. And you're probably wondering how well you go, hey, can I get a ball? And then he hands you a chrome tour soft. You can be like, oh, so this is what you're playing these days. And then you dive into why he chose that golf ball, and all of a sudden you guys are best buds.

[D]

Also make him feel a little shitty about it. Be like, I. I usually play Pro V1X's, but I guess these will do.

[B]

Yeah, these would be fine, I suppose.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Can I get a te Also, I

[A]

think also let him know that he's. He's a valued member and that, like, you want him around by, like, by telling him that he's a good scramble player.

[B]

You know, he'd be great as a fourth shot in a scramble.

[A]

Be great as a fourth shot in the scramble.

[B]

First shot of the scramble.

[A]

First shot, whatever, whoever. You know, it's. You're good for, like, three good shots around and you'd be a great fourth member of a scramble team.

[D]

You be. No, you just tell him he would be the vibes guy at the scramble.

[B]

And the vibes guy usually brings a lot of cash to bring to buy drinks for the rest of the guys.

[A]

I think another thing that you should do is you should. To be a good golf card mate, I want you to. You need to show them that you're serious about golf.

[C]

Golf.

[A]

Because otherwise he's not going to want to golf with you. So you should adopt every dumbass putting method that's been developed over the last five years and do them all on every putt.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

So I want you to just stand behind the ball and go like this with your fingers. Aim point and then go stand, straddle your line and just go like that. And then walk 10 more feet and then do it again. And then just go up halfway and just pretend like you're putting. Just do all the different ones. Get low to the ground, plumb line with your putter. Just do them all. Yeah, he's gonna know that you know about golf.

[B]

That's right.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Yeah, we've developed a lot of insanely long.

[D]

Oh my God.

[A]

Putting techniques. Right?

[D]

Yep.

[B]

I would say so. Well, I got another one for this. I mean this is even pre. This is pre golf cart mate. This is before your mates in the golf cart. You're just mates outside of the golf cart.

[D]

Just had to be a good mate.

[A]

So you're just mating in the parking lot.

[B]

What you could do is show up like right at your tea time. And the reason you do that is so you can, you can text your mate and be like, hey, can you just pay for me in the clubhouse quick? I'll meet you at the first tea. And then don't pay him back. Oh, I paid him back though.

[A]

Yeah, but why is it, but why is that an advantage to the other guy?

[D]

Cuz he knows you're going to be ready to go the second you get there.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

Yes, yes, sure.

[D]

Or

[A]

he can get more credit card miles that way.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

More CC points.

[A]

Yeah, that's right.

[B]

More gift. More Amazon gift.

[D]

There's also another punch on his go on his clubhouse punch card.

[B]

Exactly one step closer to five bucks off his eighth round.

[A]

That is so true.

[C]

With those air balls, we can go golfing at pebble beach, your treat.

[D]

I did help a lot by making you pay for my rounds.

[B]

So yeah, since I, I got you those kind of car miles, you could. I mean that's like you buy my flight pretty much.

[C]

Yeah. So.

[A]

Yeah, true.

[C]

Bye. Byes.

[A]

I think in terms of music, I

[D]

think,

[A]

I think, I think you got to get. I think you got to get pissed about people playing music.

[B]

I think the only music that can be played is Ram Ranch.

[D]

That'll get him pumped up. Is. There's a lot of holes talked about in that song and everyone knows golf is about holes.

[A]

There's a lot of 18 is all subliminal. If I know anything about golf.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

Yeah. If he's, if he's an old guy, you know, experiment with like hip hop. You want the mind act of learning things.

[A]

Read the card.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And and know that this person's probably stuck in their own ways and so get them out of their comfort zone with something that they don't usually listen.

[C]

Maybe.

[D]

Maybe dmx.

[C]

Dmx.

[B]

Y. I was gonna say we want to start with his Yonkers by Tyler the creator.

[C]

Yeah, that's good.

[B]

But you also have to watch a music video on that one too because it actually adds an extra layer to the whole thing with the cockroach and everything.

[D]

Yeah, make sure you do it. Yeah. While he's hitting.

[A]

I think to be a good golf cart mate, you gotta wear two gloves. Everyone loves the guy who wears two gloves. I have nothing else to say about that.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So two gloves and iron covers.

[A]

Yeah, iron covers would be good.

[D]

Both of the gloves are black.

[A]

Yeah. And then be the guy that brings a towel to the green too. Just in case anyone needs a towel off after a, after a knee knocking putt.

[D]

Make sure if, if he's standing. If you're tapping in a three foot putt and he's standing on the edge of the green, ask him to pull a pin for you so you don't lose your line.

[B]

Well, science.

[D]

Can you pull that for me?

[B]

Putts if you pull the pin.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's not that you make more you. Yeah, you see, you're right. I think he. I think what's good about what I think is a good way to be a good golf cart mate is you need to, you need to be oozing confidence because it rubs off on him, right. So if you got like an 80 yard shot out, tell him to mosey on up and 10 the pin for you. Because he's gonna be like, wow, this guy really thinks he's gonna make this. What a confident guy. Maybe I should have confidence like that.

[B]

And I feel like in the, in that same vein, if he asks for yardage, you gotta give him, you gotta give him.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Can you go 10 the pin for me just in case it goes in?

[C]

It's like a par 5.

[B]

If it's tracking anywhere close, I'm gonna need you to pull it.

[A]

That actually is gon be my new bit. If I'm like 60 out, like I got league tomorrow night, I'm going to be like, hey, can you go 10 the pin for me?

[C]

Actually make a walk up there.

[D]

My tending the pin bit is almost the exact opposite. Like if I'm on the green and a buddy's chipping onto it and he's nowhere near the pin, I'll pull it. So he's like, it's like 10 yards to the right, I'll pull the pin. Like, dang it.

[C]

That's a good bet.

[A]

You could also do this one. You could do this thing where after every single shot your buddy hits, you gotta have one phrase you just say over and over and over again. You know, something like. Like after they hit their putt, as it's rolling there, you just gotta go one time. Give me one time.

[D]

My dad does that.

[A]

That's exactly what I golf with Tyler's dad. One time.

[D]

One.

[A]

And he let me know that one time after every shot. He just yelled, one time. And that was the one time that I'll ever golfed.

[C]

It was a great time.

[A]

It was a one. It was a one time for sure.

[D]

It's mostly on putts.

[B]

One time.

[D]

All time, if any. If any putt he's even remotely tracked. One time. One time. One time. It wasn't this time.

[A]

So, yeah.

[B]

Sees it once, though.

[A]

So do that. Because one time at will work, and one time it will fall, and then it just makes the celebration so much work.

[D]

But. But then after that, it kind of ruins the phrase because then you gotta be like, two times.

[C]

Two times.

[D]

Two times.

[A]

But hey. Yeah. Yeah, that was. I still remember that.

[D]

Yeah, we lost. We lost in the last hole.

[A]

Does he still do that?

[D]

Yeah, I go for the last weekend.

[A]

It's kind of like a.

[C]

Love it.

[A]

It's kind of like an old lady with a 70s haircut. You know, just hammer the one hairdo for the rest. He's got one cut.

[B]

One cut. One cut.

[A]

One cut.

[D]

Do I really need to say what I want, Susan? One cut.

[B]

One cut.

[D]

One knows the rules.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I'd say probably any of those are good.

[D]

Yeah. Have fun.

[A]

I also think to be a good golf cart mate, you want everyone to have fun, and so pick the most fun golf games with the most complicated rules.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, what you got in mind?

[A]

I.

[D]

You.

[A]

You guys are the.

[D]

Plenty of. I would say left and right. Vegas is probably the most complicated.

[A]

Sounds terrible.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Left, right, center, left, right.

[D]

The teams change every hole, and the rules themselves are already complicated.

[B]

Yeah. Actually, halfway through the game, you have to go to a new course to golf. A couple holes come back. That's part of the game.

[C]

It's a gamble. It's Vegas.

[B]

That's exactly what happens. It is Las Vegas, baby. How about that? Right in. Guess that's why they call it Sin City.

[D]

Did Caesar really live here?

[C]

Do hangover quotes on your golf, baby.

[A]

Is this what the double bogey show was?

[D]

Oh, we were we did Last Hangover.

[A]

How did it last this long? This is what Double Bogey show was.

[B]

No, we used.

[D]

We did More Movement isn't just a hangover.

[A]

Oh, you get more quotes. Got it.

[B]

I mean, We're a top 10 golf podcast.

[D]

We were number one podcast in all of Kazakhstan.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Kazakhstan. That's where Borat's from.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I have not been to Kazakhstan. No. If that was a real question.

[D]

Very nice.

[A]

I have not been. My wife.

[D]

My wife.

[B]

It's like we're back in the studio again.

[D]

We're back.

[A]

We should never put them next to each other. No more golf.

[B]

Jared's. Yeah, he's the one who picked the golf sign.

[D]

Yeah. Jared's wanted this thing for a while. He knew what would happen.

[C]

Yeah, well, the viewers have blue balls from Double Bogey.

[D]

That's true.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

I'm glad we can. I'm glad we could finally get the viewers to nut.

[D]

You're welcome.

[A]

I'm finally glad we can get the viewers to. No more blue balls for the listeners.

[D]

One of the patrons changed his name to Tyler's Last Load.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Is that coming up?

[B]

No.

[D]

We got a couple weeks yet still.

[B]

I know we just got an update

[A]

last week, but I would say a couple weeks is coming up compared to

[B]

where we were at.

[C]

What. What.

[D]

What are.

[B]

What are our numbies looking like?

[D]

Haven't changed since Wednesday or whatever.

[A]

Are you. Are you coming up or are you coming down?

[D]

I'm on the come up.

[A]

See, I would say you're on the come down.

[D]

What?

[A]

Because your. Your come count is going down, but it is also going up.

[B]

It's just not.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. The sperm counts going down, the seaweed counts going up.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

That's right. Yeah.

[A]

It's about ratios at this point.

[D]

Yep. Make sure we talk a little too much about this.

[A]

Also, we need to get back to calling it Jizz.

[C]

We're like Star Wars Jazz, I don't think.

[B]

Yeah, we never. We never told Tyler about the auction that we were going to run at the end. End of our 36 days or.

[A]

I don't fully remember what this auction is, so you are going to have to refresh my memory.

[B]

We were going to auction off the remainder of his Trojans.

[D]

Oh, are you here for that?

[A]

Here for that?

[B]

Well, I know. I thought it was on Patreon last week.

[D]

Dude, like an ebay auction for the three cones?

[B]

No, not eBay auction.

[A]

That 1% so worried about having another kid that he's his Last while he's doing these jerk offs, he's jerking off with a condom.

[D]

I don't want.

[C]

It's.

[A]

He just can't risk any stray semen.

[C]

Put two.

[D]

If I know anything about. They're strong. They might be strong jumpers as well as swimmers. So.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. It's like flubber in your bathroom.

[D]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Rest in peace, Robin Williams. Yep, it's great movie.

[A]

We had a Flubber. It was like. They, like, sold them in stores. It's like this squishy deal. Yeah, we had a Flubber.

[D]

Did you put them on the bottom of your basketball shoes?

[A]

No, I didn't. I should have.

[C]

Should have. Yeah. Watch that again.

[B]

That's a great movie.

[A]

I don't know if it's a great movie or not. It's been so long.

[C]

It was cool.

[B]

They don't make movies.

[A]

It was a great movie then.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Remember, they don't make movies like they used to. So that is. It had to have been good.

[C]

R.I.P. robin Williams.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I said that already.

[C]

Sorry.

[A]

He did say that immediately.

[D]

You can double rest in peace.

[B]

Yeah, we can double double rip it.

[D]

He earned it. Yeah,

[A]

he's resting in so much peace now.

[C]

It's been over 10 years.

[A]

Don't blink. One day you're watching Flubber, next thing you know you're riping Robin Williams on a podcast. Don't blink. All right, Gone too soon. What do you got pulling up the rear here?

[C]

Jed Draft. Doomsday Bunker. All right, so there was a patron that recommended that we should do this one. I forget your name. I apologize.

[A]

Oh, wow, it's Jared.

[D]

What are the. Is it just anything goes or.

[A]

Really, this is a great moment to say, guys, you gotta check out. You bet your radio, Patreon. We got an extra episode of there every week. You could suggest segments to us. Suggest anything. Honestly, you could say just about anything over there. And Jared will read it. Jared will read it. Just about anything.

[D]

He's the just about. Yeah, Ron.

[B]

Bur try and read it. That's debatable.

[A]

Whether we get through it or not, you're not reading. Reading everything.

[D]

No, it was a joke on stumbling through reading it.

[A]

Oh, yeah. No, he can't read. He's. But he will try.

[C]

I don't read too good.

[A]

Jared will. Jared will attempt to read everything. And not because he's not trying.

[C]

I'm trying my hardest. I'm sweating.

[B]

He. He.

[A]

Pulp.

[B]

He Pulp. Anonymous.

[D]

God damn you.

[B]

You was giving me the easy one.

[A]

I hate the double party show.

[B]

That's Big Daddy, dude. That's not even a golf movie.

[D]

They hate us. They ain't us.

[A]

You guys are just repeating movie quotes to each other. Is that the whole podcast?

[B]

Dude, I, I, you know how many there's. There's 15 movie quotes all time in my head. And that's it. That's one of them.

[C]

And you got to be nice to ride as his birthday.

[D]

Yeah, it is my birthday.

[A]

Forgot it was your birthday.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Go ahead, Ryan, what other movies would you like to quote?

[B]

No, it's, it's all topical, so whatever Jared says next, if there's a quote that matches, I, I'll say it.

[D]

Happy birthday, Derek.

[B]

It's a Catalina wine mixer.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Wow,

[C]

Ryan. Do I.

[A]

That actually scared the shit out of me.

[D]

Good.

[B]

Headphone warning.

[C]

Do I go first? Ride. It's your birthday.

[A]

What is the doomsday bunker.

[D]

Are we drafting items or we just drafting like whole bunkers?

[A]

Yeah, we draft like I call Mark Zuckerberg's.

[D]

Damn it. That's a good one.

[C]

Oh, like items inside a doomsday bunker.

[A]

Items inside.

[C]

Picture Tyler's bunker.

[A]

So I get four items in a doomsday bunker. Ready? Begin. You're up first. Which way are we going? Wait, who'd you say?

[C]

I said Ryan goes first. His birthday or he picks. Who wants.

[B]

I'll go first.

[A]

Yeah, go ahead.

[B]

Doomsday bunker. I'm going to go with a. I'm going to go with a wood fire. A wood fireplace.

[D]

Nice.

[B]

And that, that obviously comes with the wood.

[D]

You bundle it. It bundles.

[B]

Bundles of wood. That's why it bundles.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

Wheel clockwise.

[D]

Okay. I'm going with water source.

[C]

So like a river.

[D]

Yeah, Fresh water source, not salt water.

[B]

So salt water. Water sources.

[D]

Yeah, Salt water on the table still. Okay, I'm not bundling those two.

[A]

So you have fresh water. You have a wood fireplace. Wood fireplace. With wood.

[B]

With wood.

[C]

Give me one of those like five gallon pails full of food.

[B]

MREs.

[C]

MRE things.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yep.

[A]

Side note, I have have MREs in my house right now.

[C]

I'll take a lot of them.

[D]

Yeah, a five gallon bucket of them.

[A]

Don't even ask me how I acquired them. But I, I have seven MREs.

[B]

Are they like square buckets or is it just, is it a round bucket?

[D]

No, these are, these are just packaged MREs.

[A]

No, these are like from the military MREs.

[B]

Got it. Cuz I have like, I.

[A]

None of that aftermarket that you got.

[C]

I'm not American made.

[B]

Mine.

[A]

Yeah, real.

[B]

I think mine comes from like American patriotism.com or something.

[C]

Sounds about Right.

[A]

It does sound like what their TV commercial would sound like.

[B]

I got six five gallon buckets, so.

[A]

Okay, so you're just taking one MRE, a bund.

[C]

I'll take one bundle. Crate of MREs.

[D]

Nice, nice. Okay, that's good.

[A]

All right, for my, I will take, I'm gonna take a, I'm gonna take a forced air system like heat and ac.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

That is nuclear powered. And take a nuclear powered. Are you forced AC and heat? So I don't even need to look at a block. Block of wood.

[D]

Are you bundling the power source or is it just nuclear power and you don't have any nuclear power. You also take a power plant.

[A]

It's part of the system. You know, like when you buy the car, you get the like car and you also get the engine.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Right. I don't need gas. It's nuclear powered.

[D]

You could have an electrical powered forced air system and then not have it plugged into an electrical system.

[A]

Right. And so I'm just.

[D]

So you're getting a nuclear power plant

[C]

as well, the way that it's uranium in at it?

[A]

Well, no, it's just nuclear. But you know, like submarines are nuclear powered. They're not. There's not a nuclear plant inside of every submarine that small scale.

[D]

There is.

[A]

No, but I don't need a big plant. I just have to do my forced air.

[D]

Okay. I don't know. That's what I'm asking. Are you going to have the nuclear power source as well?

[A]

It's the bundle with. It's the system.

[D]

That's why I'm making sure where did like then I was going to take your nuclear power source if you didn't bundle it.

[B]

So I'm just not, I'm not like, I'm not, I'm just uneducated. No, I'm just uneducated. Like so, so is there like unlimited.

[D]

Yeah, pretty much. Where does it come from, the nuclear fission? It's happening in the plant itself.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

It's got, it's as close to unlimited energy that.

[B]

Yeah, got it.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

It will long outlast me.

[D]

Extremely volatile.

[B]

Got it.

[D]

Which is why it's not and everything.

[B]

Got it.

[D]

Chernobyl.

[B]

You're going back to back, by the way.

[A]

Yeah, I mean,

[D]

I mean you secured the best possible power source in that bundle.

[A]

I know, but now I don't want it to be in the bundle. I want to parcel it out.

[B]

You could sell it.

[A]

No, I, I, I want just nuclear power instead of the forced air. I'm going to back I want just nuclear power so I have unlimited power.

[D]

Yeah, and anybody worth their salt's not going to raid you because the chance of that blowing up and killing everybody.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it's a good point.

[D]

I.

[C]

Your second pick is forced air.

[A]

No, I actually saying that now. I'm now thinking bigger. And so now I'm going to get an army of 1 million robots. That their number one cardinal rule in their programming. They're military bots, by the way. Their number one cardinal rule is that I am God and they can never kill God. And so they will protect me and my. And my family. They'll protect me and my family at all costs.

[D]

That's a good one.

[C]

And your friends.

[A]

There's no friends, okay? They're all gone. They're at Tyler's bunker. No, I. Well, we'll have select friends.

[C]

We'll see. We'll see. So I feel that day. I'm gonna do a first aid kit.

[A]

Smart. I mean, the last thing you want is to have a great, you know, good setup and then get dive and infection.

[C]

Yeah, that could kill you. Yeah, very practical.

[A]

You'll die way faster of infection than you will of thirst.

[C]

Yeah, we'll see. We'll see. We'll see how the draft goes.

[D]

No, Go with livestock.

[C]

Oh, it's good.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, what kind of livestock you thinking?

[D]

All of it. It's mine.

[A]

All of it.

[D]

Nobody gets it.

[A]

It's a bundle.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

All right.

[A]

You guys just weren't thinking big enough.

[D]

Jared's got a good lineup right now.

[A]

You got this, Ryan.

[B]

Well, you know. Yeah, we got two ends of the spectrum here. We got 1 million robots and then we got first aid kit. I'm trying.

[A]

No, I don't have 1 million items. I have one army.

[B]

Yeah, an army.

[A]

And I just want to make that clear. I think I'm breaking the rules.

[C]

Army of one million.

[A]

Yeah, I have an. I have one singular army that just happened to be super intelligent. Robots with guns. What are the robots that can't kill me? They look like humanoids. Are they humanoid robots?

[D]

Are we going Westworld or like Terminator

[B]

or going Iron Robot?

[A]

Yeah, I'm going Attack of the Clones. I'm going Star wars droid style with the long face. So then every day. So every day I can come out and say, hey, what's with the long face? They're going to be better than those. Those droids kind of are wimpy. They die pretty easily.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, okay, I got mine.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No, that. Yeah, I'm going NATO Armed Force Forces NATO being a singular entity.

[D]

Nice. Fuck. Yeah.

[A]

You're still gonna have so many issues with how you gonna feed all of them.

[C]

NATO operations.

[B]

Let's see. All the NATO policy.

[D]

Yeah. They have so many MREs that comes

[B]

with it because then they each get four things to bring with them.

[D]

They get to be in the draft.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

They're currently having their own draft right now.

[C]

And one of them could pick 1 million robots too.

[B]

Exactly. So that we're stacking up nice and we. Fireplace. If anyone gets cold. If anyone gets cold.

[A]

I got the fireplace for all of NATO's armies.

[B]

Yeah, I'll keep her stoked up. I mean some people are going to be in California and Texas where it's hot. Won't need heat.

[C]

Oh my God.

[B]

Oh, it's my turn again.

[D]

No, no. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is.

[B]

Because we're back to the beginning. Okay, let's see. I'm going to take.

[A]

This is his last. No, it's not.

[B]

No, I got two more after this. I got one more after this.

[C]

Yeah,

[B]

I'm going to take. I'm going to take the. This is. I'm thinking food. I'm thinking food related. What can I do for food?

[A]

Yeah, I've been thinking the same thing.

[B]

And you said livestock.

[A]

A great pack.

[B]

So like how many livestock you get?

[D]

All of them.

[B]

That's. I don't.

[D]

They're just. Just mine.

[B]

I don't think you can do that.

[C]

He's got a water source

[D]

for my livestock.

[B]

I don't think you could just take all the livestock.

[D]

Too late.

[C]

You can't take all of NATO.

[B]

You just took all of singular NATO. It's one entity. Remember? Miles took one army.

[D]

I took a million robots.

[A]

You took NATO. So you just like you just took a bunch of politicians or you took. You said you took the milk.

[B]

NATO armed forces. Forces.

[A]

NATO armed forces. Got it.

[B]

Yeah. So all. All the countries within NATO, their armed forces. That's the best bundle I could get. I'm gonna go with, isn't there a bunch of cheese buried somewhere in Missouri

[D]

and the cheese caves?

[A]

You're taking the government cheese.

[B]

I'll take the gov. Cheesecake. Because I'm already locked into NATO. They're gonna give me access to the gov. Cheese cave.

[A]

You aren't gonna ever. So you won't have to.

[C]

That's fine.

[B]

We want to because we're not gonna

[A]

get caught off guard. Yeah, well. And you don't have to worry. You don't be caught with your pants

[B]

down and we don't need toilet. Toilet paper.

[D]

Bowel blockages are deadly, though. You got to keep that gut health up.

[A]

Hey, you already.

[B]

You worry about your own. You worry about your own.

[C]

Watch your own body, okay?

[B]

You have 800 million cows you gotta weave in and out of.

[D]

I have won all of the livestock.

[A]

Yep.

[D]

My next pick, I'm going to take agriculture.

[C]

Ah, I was gonna take that.

[B]

I just think that. I think this is a.

[A]

But I don't know if you can just.

[D]

That's a thing. Agriculture is the thing.

[C]

Take livestock.

[B]

Agriculture is like. It's like. Is the overarching like.

[A]

Okay, then you guys can't pick it. I pick breathable air.

[D]

It's not your pick.

[A]

That's kind of the same thing, right, Jared?

[D]

It's Jared.

[B]

Well, Jared is going to pick like a glass for water or something.

[A]

It's a good water cup.

[B]

Jared's going to take glass water cup.

[D]

Jared's going to take a good book.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you took agriculture. Y suck my dad.

[B]

That just doesn't. I don't even think that's.

[D]

I got it.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, a crate of bottled water I was not gonna pick, so that's not the best.

[D]

Take breathable air before Miles does. We're all.

[C]

I'll take breathable air.

[D]

Nice. We're all toast.

[C]

I'll take gravity.

[D]

Nice.

[A]

Jared, take this serious. This is your segment. This is your segment.

[C]

Okay, I'll take a crate of box bottled water. Okay?

[A]

My, my last two

[D]

breathable air and gravity.

[C]

Because you'd be floating away.

[B]

You might as well take breathable air.

[A]

No, no, Jared already took it. He bundled air, gravity, and a crate of water.

[C]

You guys are fucked if you don't have gravity.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. My robots are essentially rendered useless.

[D]

This is it.

[B]

They're all gonna be floating up in this draft.

[A]

They. They shoot their gun one time, they're just gone.

[D]

This draft is the draft to ruin all drafts. Because next week it'll be like circus attractions and Jerry, like, I want gravity first overall.

[A]

Okay, well, that's stigma.

[D]

I would like take sets of ground level rules.

[A]

Oh, God. I got a lot. Two last picks. I need some.

[B]

Physics isn't a tangible object though. Neither is egg. Like agriculture as a whole.

[D]

I got it, though.

[A]

Like the books that tell you about agriculture or what? What about agriculture?

[D]

All of it.

[B]

You can't just keep doing that. You have to answer the question.

[A]

I got it all.

[B]

I'm answering because that's how I know that, you know, you're full of. For picking agriculture. You can't answer the question.

[D]

I got aggressive agriculture So I can. I can. I'm the one that can grow here.

[B]

We go this way till my pick. It'll kill all the livestock and fry all the agriculture.

[C]

Nuclear bomb.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

He's in a bunker though.

[C]

He's good.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, but he doesn't have a. Like a nuclear line.

[D]

He doesn't forgot that my pick is right before warriors.

[B]

Okay. Pick what you want. I'll have all of a sudden combat. It's like a Pokemon.

[A]

I will take.

[B]

I'm throwing pokeballs.

[A]

Okay. That's great to know actually. So I'm gonna take in like basically lab grown food setup. So you know how like they'll do strawberries in a warehouse with like the sun lamps and stuff.

[C]

That sounds a little agriculture to me.

[D]

I'll let them have it.

[B]

It's love.

[D]

I've grown you. You can have that one.

[A]

It's actually doesn't go. It does not go into the soil. I'm pretty sure agriculture goes in the soil, Jared. So you can suck my dick. Okay. And.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

And now my food. Suck it.

[C]

That'd be terrible. Podcast.

[A]

I don't know. I thought you were a jeep guy. So now I'm protected from Ryan's future potential nuclear bomb. So I got. You know, it's lab grown. It's fine. But we'll have it. We'll have. Plus, you know, plant based diet is going to be good for the folks. You know, we might be skinny, but we're alive and that's what really matters.

[D]

You don't got to feed the robots.

[A]

I don't mean my family.

[D]

Yeah, I'm saying you don't have to. You're good.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. That's why I went with robots and not all of NATO military.

[B]

Yeah, but you just.

[A]

You're going to have riots on your hand.

[B]

No.

[A]

Where are all these people going to sleep?

[B]

In their respective countries. Remember they're having their own draft within NATO. But they're. They. They answer to me.

[A]

So many.

[B]

Dude, I am covered by the most powerful militaries in on earth.

[D]

It's kind of just become. We're bunkering from Ryan.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, you are right. I. I do need some water.

[B]

Water is a part of agriculture, so you're out of luck.

[A]

I will do a in bunker deep underground. Aquifer.

[D]

Well, Nice.

[A]

Okay, so even if Ryan's nuking the out of me, the radiation's not going to get into my water supply because it's so deep.

[B]

Well, I'm not gonna. I'm not trying to. I'm not trying to kill you guys.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Survive myself.

[A]

But you're a crazy person.

[B]

You're correct.

[D]

Exactly.

[B]

Especially with.

[D]

You did say I'm targeting your agriculture.

[A]

Yeah, you said, I'm going to kill all of your livestock in agriculture.

[D]

It feels targeted. All right.

[B]

Just wait till my next pick.

[A]

So that's what I got. I got. I got a. I got nuclear power. I got one military. One army of sentient military robots that can't kill me or my family. I have an underground lab, grown food, anything I could want. Little Debbies, Twinkies, and the deepest, largest underground aquifer well in the world.

[D]

It's a good draft, Jared.

[C]

I'll take a nuclear bomb.

[B]

That's why. Because I was even going with that.

[C]

I didn't think you did.

[A]

Honestly, Jared, like, it's like, okay, who's going to live the longest? Jared's got the nuclear bomb. Bombs. Like he could. With his setup, he could live the longest. He. Day one, he nukes everyone.

[D]

He's dead.

[B]

First aid kid just scrapes his finger.

[A]

I got MRE in case he sprains his finger on the nuclear bomb button. He has a splint just in case he.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Take a.

[B]

To all just in case he. Yeah.

[D]

Jams swelling down. I'm going to take Ryan's family as hostages.

[A]

Oh, What kind of hostage situation are we talking? Are we talking taped up in the corner?

[D]

No, no, no. They have a nice life, but they can't leave.

[A]

Yeah. It's like Greyjoy on Game of Thrones, right?

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. Like, they sent him over. Theon.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He's basically hostage, but they give him a good life.

[D]

They live among us.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

But they can't leave, so you can't hurt us.

[A]

They're prisoners. But like in the Martha Stewart prison.

[D]

Yeah, exactly. It's cushy.

[C]

They.

[D]

They get three square meals.

[C]

Tennis court at the prison.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that was a good pick because, I mean, it's not going to last long. I'm taking the entire Wuhan lab and my family is. We have all the shots. We need to be protected against everything in the one lab. And then I'm going to release it on of top. Tyler's agriculture and cows and himself and his family. Mad cow. We're talking mad cow disease. We're talking whatever kills crops. We're talking Covid right into Tyler's mouth. The entire Wuhan lab is mine, and I'll release everything.

[D]

Agriculture really pissed you off.

[B]

This is not a draft. Okay, I'll take the world.

[C]

You could took gravity.

[D]

You could have taken gravity.

[B]

I'll take. I'll take the. The Milky Way.

[A]

You could have taken the sun, and then we. Rest of us would. Died instantly.

[D]

Toast. Regardless, if we have gr, I think

[B]

it'll die quicker with the Wuhan lab. Okay, I got plans, don't worry.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Holy.

[A]

Okay. All right, well, that's. What's the recap, Ryan? What did you pick?

[B]

Got the Wuhan lab. I got all of NATO armed forces.

[A]

I got a wood fire stove with unlimited wood.

[B]

Wood fire stove, unlimited of wood.

[D]

And

[B]

cheese vault.

[C]

Oh, yeah, cheese.

[B]

I could hide down there too.

[C]

I can hide down there.

[A]

You're just. You and all of NATO are just eating cheese?

[B]

Well, it's a hell of a draft, if you ask me. Yeah, we want a lot. That was a sleeper pickup surprise. You guys passed.

[A]

Yeah, I can't believe that that slid that low.

[D]

Coleslaw 2.0. How the did it get so far? I have fresh water, livestock, agriculture, and Ryan's family as hostages for like a day. You give me Covid, I'm not gonna die instantly. I have hostages.

[A]

I mean, what happens when my robots show up and murder all you guys and just take your livestock?

[D]

You know, Jared has first aid kits, so we'll be first. Fine. He's gonna let.

[A]

How far apart are our bunkers? Like, are we all like just scattered around Fargo, or are we like.

[D]

Is this like. Like C. Say C?

[A]

This is funny. Yeah, like our lots, they. They come to like a cul de sac, and then they just go infinitely wide in the back to support all of my million robots and nuclear reactor and. Yeah. In Tyler's agriculture and fresh water.

[C]

And we're still podcasting during all this?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yep. I had a crate of MREs, first aid kit, crate of water, and a nuclear bomb.

[B]

You win.

[A]

Yours weirdly became the craziest one

[C]

and most practical.

[A]

I mean, nuclear reactor. One mil and one army of a million Sentient humanoid attack of the clone military robots that are first robot.

[D]

You did.

[A]

I want to do the long face bit. This is. I'm. If I'm going to be there forever, I got to have some comedy. Jared,

[B]

the long face.

[C]

Are they.

[B]

Are they those little ones from Halo?

[A]

No, they're Star Wars.

[B]

Star Wars? Not those ones.

[C]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

You know them? You know them?

[A]

These guys?

[B]

Oh, sure.

[C]

These. Yeah, these guys.

[A]

Because if they look too cool, like they. They got to look a little dumb.

[D]

Those things do look dumb.

[A]

But anyways.

[D]

Yeah, those are sweet.

[A]

I did food grown lab labs and aquifer. I'm feeling Great about our scenario.

[B]

Me too.

[D]

You kicked off the craziness with the robots. You started this.

[B]

Yeah, he started. I finished it.

[A]

No, I was this close. Just doing AC at the start.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Then you pivoted and did million robots.

[B]

It's a good pivot, though. If a pivot's gonna be done, it's got pivot.

[C]

AC would have been a great pick.

[A]

Yeah, it be fine. I'll just have my robots fan me.

[D]

Palm fr. Bonus pick for miles. Is Palm France for his robots to fan him.

[A]

This has to be the longest episode we've ever done.

[C]

It's up there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Two hours.

[C]

Over two hours.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

You have a fun fact, Tyler.

[D]

I do have a fun fact.

[B]

It's probably gonna suck.

[D]

It's fun.

[A]

This the double bogey show.

[D]

The word. The word taser is an acronym inspired by a 1911 sci fi novel called Tom Swift and His Electric Rifle. The inventor loved the books and named the device after the fictional electric rifle.

[A]

Didn't you do this?

[C]

I did. Laser, not taser.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And isn't it also an acronym?

[C]

Yeah, it's a really long.

[D]

Laser is an A scientific acronym. It's really long.

[A]

Got it. Okay. So I'm not crazy.

[D]

Yep. I. I knew you'd ask about laser, so I had it ready to go.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation. So you'd think TASER would be scientific, but it's just this guy named it after a book he likes.

[A]

And the book was of kind called

[D]

what Tom Swift and his Electric Rifle. And then so he made taser. The actual. It's Thomas A. Swift's Electric Rifle is the official acronym of taser, which it's not even the same as the book. The guy was just like, T S E R. Sounds lame. So I'm going to add an A and name it Thomas A. Swift Electric Rifle.

[C]

That's cool.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Taser, laser, Laser blazer and Michelle and

[D]

the first ever light bulbs or the first ever taser. Looks like a sci fi like gun. It's like a little gun with like a wide thing at the end. Looks like a space deal. It's kind of cool.

[A]

How many watts does a taser burst out now?

[D]

They could. I think it goes up to what, like 30,000? I didn't foresee this one.

[A]

Yeah, you got. You got a ways to go.

[B]

Let's get the out of here.

[C]

How many tasers are in circulation right now in the United states?

[D]

More than 10. Yeah.

[A]

All right. Is that it? Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another Episode of you bet your radio. Have a great week. We'll see you next one. You betcha.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What is the worst way to be one? Woken up

[A]

my kids screaming, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad.

[B]

Screaming kid. That's what I was just gonna say.

[C]

I think getting woke up by a cop would be pretty bad.

[A]

Yeah, but there's a. Gotta be a good reason. There's no good reason for my kid to just be screaming dad. Because he wants to just show me this airplane that he's had gotten his hand. You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Did you get. Did you sleep at all yesterday? Like, do you sleep during the day?

[A]

A little bit.

[B]

Nap skis. Did you get woken up mid nap?

[A]

No. And. Well, that's like I. I now realize I have to like, be very clear. Like if, like, if I'm like, hey, I went to bed, I couldn't fall asleep last night. I'll like sometime I'll like be like, hey, dude, let me sleep in a little bit. Yeah, I got. I gotta go to work today and be on. So just let me sleep in like 2 until 8.

[B]

Marriage is about communication and leverage.

[A]

But yeah, that's. I mean, it would suck to be awoken like that. But at least there's like a like legit reason, you know, but something bad's happening. Yeah, but I thrive in those scenarios.

[B]

Especially if he's under the weather a little bit. Think about how sharp he's gonna be and he's lack of sleep.

[A]

I mean. Yeah, the cops wakes me up, I'll just. I'll just hit him with some hilarious joke.

[C]

Yeah, I woke up and smelled the bacon.

[B]

Yeah, Bacon.

[A]

Oh, God. We have bacon and eggs for breakfast.

[B]

Bacon doesn't go in the oven until breakfast. I think I already know the answer, but I'll ask anyways. Have you guys ever been woken up by a gang dog on the verge of puking?

[A]

That would be very concerning if that did, because I don't have a dog.

[B]

Yeah, well, I guess I didn't know if you had a dog growing up. Did you have a dog growing up?

[A]

Yeah, but it was, it was too early, like, because we had to put the dog down before I can really have good memories.

[B]

Sure. Sorry for loss.

[C]

Yeah, sorry about that.

[A]

No, it's totally fine. I don't. Muffy. RIP Muffy. That was the name of the dog.

[B]

Muffy the vampire. Vampire slayer. Yeah. Like, like middle of the night, getting woken up by a gagging dog is fucking. Oh my God. You want to kick some ass at that point? Get outside.

[C]

That probably would be the worst one for you, Bob.

[A]

That would be because you don't. Why is there a dog in our house?

[C]

And it sounds terrible. Yeah. The sound of it.

[B]

Have you heard it, Jared?

[C]

I've heard dogs puking. It's just like, you know.

[B]

Oh my God. Yeah. And sometimes they'll get. They'll. They'll like, whoever. If you have a dog out there and you're listening, you understand what I'm saying? It's the real ones.

[C]

No.

[B]

The real ones. No. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Cuz it's also like you got to clean it up.

[B]

Yeah. If it's on the carpet, then it. I'm saving that one for the morning. Sprays breeze on it or something.

[C]

Just imagine like you left the patio door open and a dog comes in and pukes and leaves. Son of a.

[A]

How drunk do I got to be to leave the patio door open so that a dog could get in.

[B]

Drunk? I think like really, really drunk.

[A]

And also Anne is the door police. That would never happen. I mean, also getting woken up by your wife telling you that there's a storm outside. Like I said that week or two on the podcast. Just woken up. Hey, it's. It's storming out. Yeah. Cool. I didn't know that cuz I was sleeping. Sleeping and I still could be sleeping.

[B]

Ah, Mother nature.

[D]

What.

[A]

What would be the worst way for you to get woke up, Jared?

[C]

This has happened to me because I. I don't know if I told you guys this, but I sleep with headphones in every night. I listen to a podcast.

[D]

You did?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

This.

[B]

Andy Elliott.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

You know, and. And the CEO podcast.

[B]

Yeah. Andy Friselli.

[C]

I don't know what that is.

[A]

And the Steve Bartlett Diary of a CEO podcast. Yeah.

[B]

I like, isn't him. Decent amount of time.

[A]

I saw. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Anyway, so.

[C]

So the worst way is like middle of the night, Amber Alert right in your ear.

[B]

Oh, dude. I. For.

[A]

I guess I didn't think Amber Alert is. Or like even the Silver Alert.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Where the old person goes missing.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

That is terrible. But it's like you don't. Yeah.

[C]

And they're like a Castleton. I'm like, cool.

[A]

I'm in morehead. Castin's like 40 minutes away.

[B]

So like. Like, if you get a text middle of the night, does Siri be like, message from.

[C]

No. Okay.

[B]

Okay. You got that turned off.

[D]

Obviously.

[C]

Plus I don't get many text messages, so.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you care to share what podcast you're listening to right now?

[C]

Sure. It's The Jim Cornette Experience. It's a wrestling podcast. Something to wrestle with with Bruce Pichard. I listen to. That's usually wrestling.

[A]

Do you have a lot of wrestling dreams then?

[C]

Honestly, no, I don't. I don't remember my dreams either, so that's also a problem.

[A]

Well, so I wonder if you're not getting as good a deep of sleep because you have that going on in your ears.

[C]

Yeah, probably so.

[A]

So where did you acquire this need to be listening to a podcast?

[C]

Don't really remember. It's just something I started doing, and now it's turned into, like, a crutch where I kind of need it, really. So, like, when people need a fan to sleep, I kind of need headphones to sleep. Just kind of messed up. So I got.

[A]

I mean, we could maybe just come over and we could just podcast while he falls asleep.

[B]

We could.

[C]

In the dark.

[B]

Yeah, we can. We can hit record.

[C]

Just be My Wife in the Bed podcast.

[B]

Yeah. Foot of the bed.

[A]

What's the deal with people who wear socks to bed, you know?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

It's crazy. Yeah.

[C]

The best things about sleeping. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Do people actually need a bottle of Jurgens next to their bed for their skin?

[D]

Okay, how many?

[A]

Let's play a game of how many bottles of Jurgens. Nightstand.

[B]

There's two in the. Two in the garbage there, guys.

[A]

If you want more, you bet your radio. You got to check out our Patreon. You got to go to patreon.com you bet radio or look us up on the app, and we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you got to ch us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.