The Official Review of Tyler’s Vasectomy ✂️ #377

Summary

You Betcha Radio Ep. 377: The Official Review of Tyler’s Vasectomy ✂️

Date: May 13, 2026
Host/Guests: Myles (“the You Betcha Guy”), Ryan, Tyler, Jerrod, Charlie
Theme: Man culture, Midwest life, millennial dad tropes, and Tyler’s vasectomy — a riotous blend of comedy and candid conversation on all things dad, nostalgia, and Midwest living.

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Episode Overview

This episode focuses on the group’s signature Midwestern banter as they dive into millennial dad culture, poke fun at generational quirks, and (most notably) deliver a hilarious and detailed account of Tyler’s vasectomy journey. With classic bits, personal anecdotes, and “official reviews,” the show maintains its irreverent and relatable tone throughout.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Midweek Mood & Hangovers (00:00–02:28)

• Opening energy: The crew acknowledges a sluggish vibe, speculates about hangovers, and jokes about how aging means two-day hangovers.
• Office guessing game potential: “We could do… every Monday podcast: Who got drunk last week?”
  — Tyler (02:02)

2. Millennial “Dad” Culture & Hat Obsession (02:28–16:36)

• Observation: Millennials, especially dads, love wearing hats/lifestyle merch that overtly state “Dad,” “Girl Dad,” etc.
• Self-awareness & hypocrisy: The group points out they used to mock boomers for the same type of merch (e.g., “Dragon Dad” hats) and now are falling into the same patterns.
• Comparisons:
  • “[Just] because we slap it on a cool-looking golf hat with a script font doesn’t make us any different.” — Myles (04:23)
  • Millennial dad pride is unconditional, unlike boomers, whose “Proud Parent” merch was tied to achievements (sports, grades).
• Virtue signaling vs. consumerism: Tyler and Myles discuss how this merch is a social signal, sometimes about actual involvement, sometimes just for Instagram.
• Gatekeeping dad hats: Playful hypothetical rules about proving your relation to the kid before buying certain hats (“Uncle,” “Babysitter,” etc.).
• Origins: The “girl dad” trend is traced back to Kobe Bryant and his cultural impact.
• Foreshadowed future: The crew predicts that Gen Alpha will make fun of millennial “dad hat” dads just as they now parody “boomer” style.

Notable Quotes:

• “We’re in the consumerism final boss era.” — Myles (08:01)
• “It’s gonna be hat, jogger sweatpants, ankle socks, and tennis shoes. That’s the dad outfit in 10 years.” — Tyler (15:38)
• “I think Kobe coined it. The girl dad hat revolution started when Kobe died.” — Charlie (14:03)

3. Tyler’s Official Vasectomy Review (16:24–46:41)

The Consultation & Procedure Details

• Consultation immediate scheduling:
  • Tyler gets lucky with a cancellation and books his procedure within 24 hours.
  • “Are you sure? Because the next one isn’t ’til August…” — Scheduler, as quoted by Tyler (21:37)
• Pre-op requirements:
  • Shave (“testicle taco” with a heat pack), cleanliness tips, and visuals from the urology office.
• Procedure tone:
  • The doctor plays “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye and cracks jokes, setting a chill mood.
  • “The nurse said: make yourself a testicle taco.” — Tyler (26:16)
• Pain & specifics:
  • Sharpest pain is the lidocaine shot; after that, everything is numb.
  • One incision between the testicles, tubes (vas deferens) are cut, one side cauterized, and the other clipped.
• Comedic but accurate analogies:
  • “So basically, from here on out, I have Diet Coke instead of regular Coke. Sugar-free.” — Tyler (31:00)
  • “It’s like a ghost town … just a bunch of buses driving around with no people.” — Myles (31:11)
• Recovery:
  • Stay horizontal for two days, ice regimen, minimal discomfort after initial soreness.
  • Gets stickers: “Vasectomy survivor,” “Retired swim team,” and “100% juice, no seeds.”

Sperm Clearance Homework & Worries

• Protocol:
  • 35 “clearance” ejaculations required over three months; then a sperm count at the lab to confirm sterility.
  • “My homework … is to nut 35 times.” — Tyler, deadpan (33:42)
  • Jokes about how quickly he might complete the assignment.
• Why so many times?
  • Explains the tubes analogy — residual sperm can persist until ‘flushed out’ thoroughly.
  • “It just takes one [sperm].” — Tyler (38:09)
• General Advice:
  • “If you follow the care instructions, you’ll be all right. I didn’t even follow them to a T and I feel perfectly normal.” — Tyler (46:13)
  • No “snipper’s remorse.” Recommends the procedure to others considering it.

Notable Quotes:

• “The doctor … turns on a Bluetooth speaker and plays ‘Let’s Get It On’ by Marvin Gaye.” — Tyler (27:21)
• “You always say, what’s the price of a good nut? Well, we know now: $2.10.” — Myles (51:01)

[Vasectomy Segment Timestamps]

• Consultation begins: ~19:00
• Pre-op and shaving comedy: ~23:59–26:19
• Operating room hijinks and music: ~27:21
• “Diet Coke” analogy: ~31:00
• Sperm clearance homework: ~33:42–34:49
• Recovery and reflection: ~39:46, ~46:13

4. Millennial/Gen Z Dad Culture vs. Boomers, Condoms, and Inflation (46:41–52:17)

• Economic calculation: Jokes about the cost of vasectomy vs. cost of condoms, adjusting for inflation, and the funny unfamiliarity with current condom prices.
• “Even condoms aren’t safe from inflation.” — Myles (51:39)
• “Why do they make condoms so expensive? Seems counterproductive.” — Jared (50:04)

5. Side Segues: Spirit Airlines, Mail on Planes & Absurd Ideas (54:47–62:36)

• Spirit Airlines: Jokes about its demise, branding ideas (Spirit Halloween collaboration, “Ghoul Airlines,” etc.), and wild stories (guy getting sucked into plane engine — dark humor follows).
• Air mail bit: Jared attempts to resurrect his “read your mail on the plane” idea (“air mail”), ridiculed good-naturedly for its unviability.
• Best/worst inventions: Rapid-fire recall of past bits and unwieldy inventions.

6. Patreon Questions & Listener Interaction (62:04–83:47)

Fun Listener Q&As

• How to enjoy a swanky hotel without cash:
  • “Tyler Challenge”: Try to complete all your sperm clearance “homework” in one night.
  • Change outfits to snag lobby cookies, fake being a bellhop to access food, and more classic You Betcha mischief.
• Tyler’s top jobs:
  • Sunglasses hut, turkey job, fish cleaner, news, radio, roofing — each referenced with inside-joke nostalgia.

Pontoon Boat Upgrades

• Pimp my pontoon:
  • Massive umbrellas, electric motors, built-in beer coolers, gas-scented plug-ins, in-boat mister sprayers with sunscreen, and more.
  • Digression on why pontoons aren’t called “bitunes,” the evolution to tritune, and wayward tangents about snakes on boats and in-ground pools at the lake.
• Beer distribution rules: To preserve camaraderie, even with individualized coolers on the boat, beer must be thrown to friends.

Baby Names & Internet Ruining Things

• Fun fact:
  • “For 67 consecutive years, Mary was America’s most popular female baby name. Linda broke the streak in 1947.” — Jared (79:07)
• Unique names:
  • Riffs on weird, modern baby names (“Asterisk!”), cultural shifts, and the over-indexing on uniqueness.
• Internet takes:
  • How reading reviews ruins shows, the difference between real-time and online consensus.

7. Careers & New Job Advice (84:48–89:01)

• Trades advice from Ryan:
  • “When you start a new job, you want to prove yourself ... so you’re not listening … just listen.” (85:31)
  • Don’t rush to impress; work favors like bringing kazoos, Chinese finger traps for new coworkers (jokingly).
  • “By starfishing them, you figure it out.” — Ryan
  • Group derails on definitions of “starfish” as an analogy, with tongue-in-cheek confusion.

Notable Quote:

• “Any time you’re working a job and a new guy comes along … you don’t have time for new friends ... just by starfishing them you figure it out.” — Ryan (86:54)

8. Closing: Fun Facts & Laughs (89:01–91:11)

• Peanut butter stat:
  • “It takes roughly 540 peanuts to make a jar of peanut butter.” — Jared (89:11)
  • Everyone debates how big the jar is; classic You Betcha banter about never fully researching the fun facts.
  • Boxer adjustment break leads to a new recurring bit.

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Memorable Moments & One-Liners

• “If you think your life’s going good, don’t go on the internet.” — Myles (83:18)
• “The world’s going to be ended by then … I don’t give a—” — Myles, doomsday riff on future millennial dad cringe (15:53)
• “We all got tiny wieners if you think about how vast space is.” — Tyler (39:29)

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Engaging Highlights & Running Gags

• The merch/consumer culture of dads today, centered on hats. (“Dad,” “Girl Dad,” “Boy Dad,” etc.)
• Graphic and hilarious retelling of Tyler’s vasectomy and recovery process.
• Repeat jokes about generational cringe, “retired swim team” stickers, and legacy parenting tropes.
• Recurring riff on inflation and condom pricing, along with classic Midwest thrift.
• Signature digressions into lake life culture, boat upgrades, and ludicrous Midwest fantasy inventions.

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Useful Timelines

• 00:00–02:28: Office mood (hangovers, intro)
• 02:28–16:36: Dad hat/merch culture analysis
• 16:24–46:41: Tyler’s vasectomy saga
• 46:41–52:17: Condoms, inflation, new dad economics
• 54:47–62:36: Spirit Airlines, “air mail” idea, crazy stories
• 62:04–83:47: Patreon Q&A — hotels, jobs, pontoons, baby names
• 84:48–89:01: Trades advice, new job bits
• 89:01–91:11: Closing fun facts, show wrap

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Final Thoughts

If you’re seeking a hysterical, honest, and vividly Midwestern exploration of dad culture—and want to know way too much about vasectomy prep and recovery—this episode sums up everything that’s endearing and outrageous about You Betcha Radio. Expect running jokes, smart-mouthed insights, and a steady stream of nostalgia and life hacks, all delivered with authentic, small-town gusto.

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For more: Check out YouBetcha Radio Patreon for extended episodes, listener questions, and even more behind-the-scenes banter.

Transcript

[Miles]

All right, back to it. Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the you Bet yout Radio podcast. The boys are back in the studio. And you know what, guys? We don't need to waste any time. There's. We got. We got a lot of stuff to get through today. Yep, a lot of stuff. Time is of the essence. Ryan's got a sales meeting in an hour.

[Ryan]

Oh, my God.

[Miles]

Oh, really?

[Charlie]

Well, yeah, 57 minutes. I told you that earlier.

[Miles]

Yeah, no, it's fine, Jared. I'm Be honest, Ryan. We don't really need you for the end of the podcast anyways. We.

[Tyler]

Can you get us there, we'll get it home. Okay?

[Charlie]

Yeah, yeah, I'll get you there again.

[Miles]

Let's stop wasting time. Chit chat, first thing. Energy's a little low in the office today. I don't know what we all did this weekend. Jared, did you get drunk this weekend?

[Jared]

Yeah, like Friday night.

[Miles]

I was gonna say, because I feel like you're a little hungover today.

[Jared]

Oh, I'm fine.

[Miles]

Okay. All right. Everyone just seems like there's. Everyone's got.

[Tyler]

Just thinks you look like Jared.

[Jared]

Yeah, thanks.

[Miles]

Well, no, when we had our meeting earlier, I was like, oh, he seems like he is hungover.

[Jared]

Oh, no, I'm fine.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Charlie]

Yeah, I feel like.

[Miles]

Because then you said he was a little bit irritable.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And then you said he was a little bit irritable.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I don't know. I was a little bit irritable today.

[Charlie]

And I only said that because sometimes. Well, did I try and talk to you about the T. Wolves? Okay, it was something else then. Anyway, like, when I try and talk to you and you keep looking at your computer screen with your headphones on, I can tell that you're just not interested and that you're.

[Miles]

You.

[Charlie]

You may be. There just may be something bothering you.

[Jared]

I'm also like, I have audio going through my headphones too.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

And that's totally fine.

[Tyler]

So he's got a job to do.

[Miles]

Mostly just me saying, is everything okay, Jared?

[Jared]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Jared]

That's fine.

[Miles]

I just.

[Tyler]

Sitting there.

[Miles]

It just. If I had to bet if someone in the office got drunk this weekend, I would have picked you.

[Tyler]

Today.

[Miles]

We could do.

[Jared]

That's fine.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, no, yeah. Just throwing it out there.

[Tyler]

Make that a new bit every Monday. Podcast.

[Charlie]

Who got drunk last week?

[Tyler]

We. We guess who got drunk.

[Miles]

Who's. Who's probably hung over right now?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Because our hangovers do last multiple days at this age.

[Miles]

I mean, you still could be a little hungover.

[Jared]

From Friday, I guess, technically.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

Yeah. You were on the road last week too. That doesn't help.

[Miles]

Road, road, hangover, jet lagged all the hell.

[Jared]

Yeah, I didn't do anything on Saturday. I was a bag of bones.

[Charlie]

And that's okay.

[Miles]

That's fine. So one that was first thing wanted to just make sure, clear the air on another thing, that this is more so just something that I've noticed lately, but millennials are obsessed with telling everyone that they're a dad. Have you noticed that they've.

[Tyler]

It's virtue signals.

[Miles]

The best example is about one in every two millennial dads has a hat that just says dad on it.

[Charlie]

And not necessarily a dad hat, but

[Miles]

a hat that no.

[Charlie]

Like it says.

[Miles]

Yeah, it says dad.

[Charlie]

Sometimes both.

[Miles]

And some of them are even going as far as saying which gender dad they are.

[Tyler]

So I, I think girl dad, boy

[Miles]

dad, they dad, they,

[Tyler]

future dad.

[Charlie]

Big.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I mean we're, we're not far off from having future dad hats. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

For people who are currently pregnant, I

[Tyler]

think I have a girl dad was the first one. And I think it's all spurred from the girl dad hats.

[Jared]

Daddy.

[Miles]

I think we need to start doing, we need to start doing hats that just say we need to jump on that train and just do hats that say confirm sex haver.

[Tyler]

Well, and I think I shot one deep hat.

[Charlie]

And I think the merch you guys are talking about right now, this is the, that it's the upgraded version from the shirt you would get at Walmart back in the day when it was like number one grandpa or number one dad or the coffee cup version. Yeah, we just, we upgrade.

[Miles]

Yeah. We always make fun of boomers for having like, you know, it's like they go to a college and it's like, you know, dragon dad.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

MSU dragon dad.

[Charlie]

Yes.

[Tyler]

I have an Iowa Hawkeye's dad shirt.

[Miles]

Correct. Yes. And we always make fun of the older generations for doing that. And now look at us. Just because we slap it on a cool looking golf hat with a script font doesn't make us any different.

[Tyler]

I got. Yeah. News flash for all the fellow millennial dads in 10 years, it's not going to be cool.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You're going to look back at it, be like, what was I doing?

[Miles]

Yeah. And it's, it's, it's fine. I don't really care. I think it's good. I think it's good that our generation is much more involved as a dad. I feel like millennials are actually take pride in like Spending time with their kids instead of viewing it as a hindrance on the fun that they can have with their buddies, you know?

[Tyler]

Yeah. I just. I think, like, you are allowed to have fun with your kids without putting a billboard that you have kids on your head.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You know, you can just. Is it still hang out with your kids at the park without having a habit?

[Miles]

Everyone's gonna assume that you're a dad if you're at the park with a

[Tyler]

kid, especially if the kid is running around calling you dad.

[Miles]

Yeah, well, that and also we. It's kind of like when my mother, for the longest time, every time we leave her house, even late into, like, even years ago, a couple years ago, would always say, okay, bye. Love you. Drive safe. And eventually me and my brother said, hey, mom, you don't need to keep telling us to drive safe. We will continue to drive safe until you tell us not to drive safely.

[Charlie]

Because we know the repercussions for not driving.

[Miles]

We're gonna assume every guy with a kid is a dad. Only if you're like, an uncle watching. We need to do, like, uncle hats. That would help, actually.

[Tyler]

Or babysitter.

[Miles]

Babysitter hats would be helpful. We're gonna. Then we learn new information. If you're not a dad, you should be wearing a hat explaining your relation to the kid.

[Tyler]

Yeah. In order to get one of these hats too, you need to prove the relation to the child. Yeah. Because then any. Any weirdo could just go by uncle hat and then get away like, oh, he's uncle.

[Miles]

We're good. It's true.

[Jared]

We could have a hat that says not a pedal on it.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Not a pedal. Just a dad. What a turn. But yeah, I just. I. In, like, I even think a small percentage of older dads would be willing to do like. Like the. The dad shirts that said where their kid went to school. And even. That is not even about that. They're. It's just a way for their dads to brag that their kids went to college.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So it's not even. It's not even about being a dad. It's more so, like, I spawn someone smart enough to go to college.

[Tyler]

100.

[Miles]

And I just think it's funny because I. I just think older dads wouldn't be caught dead wearing a hat that just said dad.

[Tyler]

No, no. It would have to. There has to be a reason for it. Like, I know my dad would never wear a hat that just says dad, but on parent night, he. He would wear proud parent of a hornet wrestler. Correct. He would wear that.

[Miles]

It's much more contextual than just blanket statement that I am a dad.

[Tyler]

Yeah. His shirt didn't say proud parent. It said proud parent of so and so.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

Now, do you guys think that wearing the dad merch, do you think it's similar to people posting on Facebook about their relationship and, like, how happy they are when it's actually, like, the opposite? So you're almost trying to justify that. Hey, I am a good dad. Even though you may not be because you're wearing the merch.

[Tyler]

I think to a much, much less degree.

[Charlie]

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

[Miles]

Like, I. Yeah, I think we're just in the consumerism final boss era of the world. Yeah. And so it's like you just get pushed ads on Instagram that are very tailored to you, and it's like, oh, I am a dad. And it's kind of a cool hat. I'll buy it.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Miles]

I feel like that.

[Jared]

And I wonder what percentage of those hats are gifted to dads.

[Miles]

Correct. It's like, you need to wear a hat that's suitable for our baby announcement that we post on Instagram. So wear this dad hat. Yeah.

[Charlie]

So I was at the sporting goods store this last last weekend, and I should have led with this because, yeah, I should have led with it, but I didn't. Damn it, I did walk. So they now have a section of

[Miles]

this merchandise of just dad merchandise. Dad merchandise just says dad.

[Charlie]

Dad, Gang, Dad. Yeah, you name it.

[Jared]

On Mother's Day weekend.

[Charlie]

Mother's Day weekend.

[Miles]

Wow.

[Tyler]

We hijacked Mother's Day. I haven't seen a single mom wearing a hat that says just Mom.

[Miles]

That's right. It's weird. It's just strange, right? It is like, it's like I said, it's good that millennials care about being a dad much more than previous generations. But why do we have to wear a hat that just says dad?

[Jared]

Shout for the rooftops.

[Miles]

Go on, continue.

[Jared]

I don't lay with that riot.

[Charlie]

Well, I. And I was just going to say, like, because you. You talked about, like, the good looking hat with the script font.

[Miles]

Whatever.

[Charlie]

I. I did almost buy one. I didn't though.

[Miles]

Did you buy one? Tell the truth.

[Charlie]

I can show you the credit card statement. There's no charges from the sport store on the credit.

[Jared]

Cash?

[Miles]

No, I don't. I don't have cash. Yeah, you did. We don't have cash.

[Charlie]

I'm tied up in bitcoin right now.

[Miles]

No, I mean, I think it's fine to wear it. I just am noticing that it's just a funny observation that we now identify so heavily with being a parent. Whereas I feel like boomers were just like, oh, this is who I am. And I also have kids.

[Charlie]

Yeah. It's almost like boomers identified with their kids. Kids being really, like, good at sports. Like, that was.

[Miles]

Yeah. They were only willing to say they were a dad if you were good at sports or you were an honor. Yeah, for sure. It was very tied to outcomes back in the day.

[Jared]

Traditional.

[Miles]

Yeah. Conditional identity of being a dad. And it goes back to the, you know, proud MIT parents, you know, and that's funny that it was always, I'm a proud. Whatever parent. Because he. Like, it's. Again, it's attached to conditions.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I'm a proud parent of a C plus average student.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

They didn't make those shirts.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But I wouldn't be if he was, you know, a D student.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

I mean,

[Tyler]

disappointed parent in a. In a failing student.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

The D stands for disappointment.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

But. Yeah. I don't know. I just. What? It's. I've just noticed it, and it's everywhere.

[Jared]

Does it bother you?

[Miles]

It doesn't bother me. It's more so just like a. It's just like, funny that that's where we're at.

[Jared]

Gotcha.

[Miles]

And I now understand how you can. Your generation can start doing things that define you as a group without even noticing it. I think the dad hat is a great example. Well, that we've just got. We just go so deep into being, like, signaling that we are this certain

[Charlie]

person when it's almost like. It's almost like it's. It's a way for you to fit in with a group of dads who are wearing this stuff.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Charlie]

But I feel like at this. At our age right now, we're just trying to fit out. We're not trying to fit in with anybody.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Charlie]

So when you see someone with a dad, the dad hat on, you're almost like you got caught in the trap and you're just trying to fit in with this group of people.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I kind of like it. If I had to. You put a lineup of dads that are at the playground. I. And only one has the dad hat on. I'm probably not gonna pick him to talk to.

[Miles]

Tyler really hates these.

[Tyler]

I don't.

[Miles]

And I. I say that.

[Charlie]

I actually don't even. I don't mind him at all.

[Miles]

I think they're fine.

[Charlie]

I almost bought one, for Christ's sakes.

[Tyler]

Like, I don't hate them. There's A huge eye roll for me.

[Charlie]

I think I'm gonna go get one. I know exactly. I can beeline. I know right where they're at in

[Tyler]

the store because they're in your car. You bought one, Didn't.

[Charlie]

No, I didn't.

[Miles]

You didn't buy a dad when you bought a dad, gang.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry, dg.

[Miles]

No, I think it's fine. I just think. And I'm. And I'm having maybe a tough time summing up what I believe. I don't know. I feel like I've explained a little.

[Tyler]

I think you got it. It's like there's nothing wrong with it whatsoever, but I just make. I just roll my eyes and I'm

[Charlie]

like, okay, so, Miles, if someone gifted you one of these hats, where would the hat go? What would happen to the hat?

[Tyler]

It would end up in it.

[Charlie]

And how would it. How would the hat feel?

[Miles]

I would probably use it to make fun of millennial dads.

[Charlie]

Got it.

[Tyler]

Okay. Yeah, Yeah.

[Miles]

I mean, it also depends on who gave it to me. Like, if my mom gave it to me, I have to wear it to her house at some point.

[Charlie]

Yeah, you gotta wear to her.

[Tyler]

Thanks.

[Miles]

You know what I mean? Easter, Father's Day, or like, if your wife gives it to you, what do you do then? And I think that's kind of a little bit what's happening.

[Tyler]

Yeah, my wife knows me well enough not to.

[Miles]

But again, there's nothing wrong with it.

[Jared]

You're just a loser.

[Charlie]

No, no, that. No, no, we never said. You said that.

[Miles]

But I think when you go further of saying girl dad or boy dad, it's like, it's kind of, you know, you don't see very many boy dad ones, but the girl dad ones. For whatever reason, we felt as a society to signal that you're proud to have only girls, you know, because usually, like, guys who have, like, three girls. Right. And it's just like, why are we in a spot where we have to, like, let everyone know that. That they're not upset that they don't have a boy?

[Tyler]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Charlie]

I think Kobe. Kobe coined it.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

Being a girl dad and that's. I feel like where it kind of got its start.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

And then you're tracing it back to Kobe.

[Ryan]

I.

[Charlie]

No, I think it's safe to say that Kobe coined it because the girl

[Tyler]

dad hat revolution started when Kobe died.

[Miles]

Okay. So, all right.

[Charlie]

We take a moment of silence. Or not.

[Miles]

Yeah. So we trace it back to Kobe.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So we have Kobe to blame.

[Tyler]

That's his legacy.

[Miles]

But, yeah, it's like it's getting up there. Like 50% of millennial dads, I think, have one of these hats.

[Jared]

We read the numbers.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Around the numbers in my head. So that's something that I just wanted to get off my chest that I noticed. And it's becoming somewhat of an epidemic.

[Charlie]

Well, yeah. And with Father's Day coming up, too. Make sure you don't who, if any of Miles's family members or whatever. Listen, just don't get him.

[Tyler]

Don't get one of those. Don't get him.

[Miles]

I swear to God, someone gets Mel.

[Tyler]

And if any of our listeners have two, don't send us the other one for Miles.

[Charlie]

Don't send it to PO Box number one.

[Miles]

But here's the thing, is that's gonna be the calling card for making fun of us later, I think, is also what's kind of a little bit grinding my gears. Just dress normal. Because, like, you know, the same with the New Balance and the cargo shorts and the knee brace and the cell phone hip holster and all that that we make fun of Boomer dads for. My kids are just gonna make videos about us wearing dad hats.

[Tyler]

It's gonna be hats. Let's say dad jogger sweatpants, ankle socks, and tennis shoes. That's gonna be the dad outfit in 10 years when they're making videos like we made five years ago.

[Jared]

But by the time we get to that age, we won't care.

[Miles]

We won't go.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we don't give a. Boomers don't care.

[Miles]

The world's gonna be ended by then. It's either global warming that's gonna kill us. It's gonna be AI that's gonna kill us, or an asteroid's gonna hit us and it's gonna wipe us all out. I don't give a.

[Charlie]

Or Yellowstone might erupt.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Tyler]

That's. That's been looming.

[Charlie]

I know it's been looming. There's a big geyser out there.

[Miles]

It's been looming. I've heard the loom. I've heard the looming.

[Charlie]

Yeah. Ashes cover the sun. Darkness smells like sulfur over there.

[Miles]

The long night. The winter is coming.

[Tyler]

So.

[Miles]

So, yeah, just. Just wanted to make everyone aware of what I'm aware of now. It's an epidemic. It's everywhere. Continue on.

[Charlie]

Yeah. And I mean, if you.

[Miles]

If.

[Charlie]

And if you weren't aware of the dad hats, then drive safe, because you're probably not paying attention. Like, you should be paying attention.

[Miles]

It's true.

[Jared]

There's probably somebody else with this podcast

[Miles]

right now wearing the hat for sure. And again. Again, I almost. Fine. You still can.

[Charlie]

I still can. I might.

[Miles]

So, okay, what was, what was enticing you to buy it?

[Charlie]

It was. I really liked the hat.

[Miles]

It's a cool looking two tone and it's like, it's very safe. Right?

[Charlie]

Correct.

[Miles]

Like what is what? There's, there's you. It's the easiest thing to signal to the world whilst wearing a cool hat. Is that your dad? No one's going to be like disagree with you. It's the least political thing ever.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

And. And it's like this also, like, to my defense, my kid would. If I told him what the hat said, he would fucking lose his mind.

[Tyler]

He would, he would want one that says son.

[Miles]

Yeah,

[Charlie]

yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

You know, cuz like even now if you wear a camo hat, you're. You're signaling some sort of, you know, political affiliation. But if you're wearing a black and white hat that just says dad in a script front font, you are not signaling anything.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

What's crazy is like Bad Birdie is their golf brand. They have a hat that just says bad.

[Miles]

But those were cool.

[Tyler]

So when the dad first started, like I thought they were ripping that. I think they were spoof.

[Charlie]

I think, I think they were. It's. It's damn near the same thing. Just one letter switch.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. Everyone's got a dad hat now.

[Jared]

It's like Rob Lowe with the wearing the NFL.

[Miles]

It is exactly that.

[Jared]

Just safe, onoffensive, inoffensive.

[Miles]

Oh, well, that's a lot of dad had talk. Which actually.

[Jared]

Good segue.

[Miles]

It's a great segue into the dad of all dads. Boy dad, actually.

[Tyler]

Boy dad.

[Miles]

Boy dad. Tyler.

[Tyler]

I forgot my hat. Oh, dude.

[Miles]

So a lot has happened with Tyler and his dad. He's having. He had some daddy issues.

[Tyler]

Yeah, intentional.

[Miles]

Meaning. Meaning he didn't want. He didn't want to be a dad anytime.

[Tyler]

No.

[Miles]

Over more.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You don't want to be a new dad trying to limit how many daddies he was.

[Jared]

I want to have this as daddy issues. On it.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I bet you they make that somewhere.

[Miles]

They definitely make that.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It's usually probably meant for women, but. Yeah, go ahead.

[Tyler]

But yeah, daddy issues are not. They're not exclusive to women. You can have them if you want.

[Miles]

It's true. So I, I feel like we've talked about your vasectomy the last four podcasts. Four years in a row. We've talked about your vasectomy just and we. While I was in. Was. Me and Jared were in Wisconsin last week, and Tyler had his consultation.

[Tyler]

Consultation on Wednesday.

[Miles]

Okay, so we need to start right there. Yep. You've gone to the consultation. What happens at a. We had so many questions.

[Tyler]

So many questions. And I think the way we should do this. I'll tell you about the consultation and then remind me the questions you had, and I can answer them all now.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Charlie]

I don't even remember.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

So they come in from the tip of the penis or the underside of the balls or at the shaft.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Charlie]

That's not part of the consultation, though. That's part of the surgery.

[Tyler]

They took that.

[Miles]

No, they didn't tell me that.

[Tyler]

Oh, oh, oh. So lift the penis up.

[Charlie]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Incision on the top of the scrotum.

[Miles]

Okay. So bottom of the shaft. The bottom of the shaft.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

A little bit further down. Like a. Like an inch down from the bot. The bottom of the shaft.

[Miles]

How big are you?

[Charlie]

Do they, like, palm up, flat hand? Lift the tip of your dingling.

[Miles]

Also underrated joke saying that. Do they go in the tip of the penis? Like, obviously they don't, but whatever, you guys.

[Charlie]

Or did they pinch? Pinch and pinch and pull.

[Tyler]

Oh, well, he got out his tweezers for me.

[Jared]

Oh.

[Tyler]

And then moved it over.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

All right. Consultation, consultation.

[Tyler]

I sit down. He gives me the whole spiel. Like, tells me what's going to happen. Tells me that there's two types of pain, scrotal pain and mental pain. So I could get a Valium if I wanted for the mental pain, which I turned down. Mental pain meaning, like, anxiety going into the procedure. So I turned that big a word. Yes. Yep. I turned that down. He told me to get basically what? My pre op.

[Charlie]

Why did you turn it down?

[Tyler]

I don't. I didn't need it.

[Charlie]

I'm just kidding.

[Miles]

He's. What do you mean? He's not. He's.

[Tyler]

No. If anything, I needed a Valium to calm down from the excitement.

[Charlie]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Wow. Okay. To get this over with. So they told me what to do pre op and post op and all that stuff. And then the scheduler comes in and she's like, when do you want to do this? I was like, as soon as possible. And she goes, well, we. We had somebody canceled for tomorrow.

[Jared]

Oh, it's your dream.

[Miles]

Oh, my. That's best case scenario.

[Tyler]

And I was like, it wasn't same day, but damn near will take it. And she's like, okay, good. Well, are you sure? Because the next one we have available is August 18th yeah. So homie was booked out for the whole summer, so I'm really glad that somebody canceled for the next.

[Charlie]

Well, yeah, he didn't get his Valium. That's the thing. He declined the Valium, and then he had to cancel because he didn't have it.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

So. Okay. Yeah. Because you texted us, said you were out and that you were going to do it. That's all I know about this. And when I got here this morning, I had completely forgotten that you got snipped.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

Until right before this. And you said you were going to tell me all about it on the podcast.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

This is the first time I'm hearing of how this went down.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it. Whatever you guys want to know, I'll tell you, so stop me whenever with questions.

[Jared]

Okay. Were you nervous?

[Tyler]

Not really.

[Miles]

Okay. Did he give you a percentage of. Of. Of botches that could happen? You know, but we got about an 8% botch rate, so you should be in good hands.

[Tyler]

No percentage.

[Charlie]

We're seven for our last 99, so.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's like Steph Curry.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

He didn't give me those numbers, but he did tell me, like, the complications that could happen, which are, like, some leakage from the incision site or the stitch getting ripped loose or, like, major swelling and stuff like that, that it would total.

[Miles]

No. Total loss of nut.

[Tyler]

No. Total loss of nut. Was. That didn't seem to be a possible option.

[Miles]

Okay, that's good.

[Tyler]

Barring major disaster. So I get there, I have Grandpa Dave drive me from home.

[Miles]

What a move.

[Tyler]

Because I didn't have a plan in place because it's like I had 12 hours to figure out what the fuck I was gonna do for this thing.

[Charlie]

Did Grandpa Dave get. Did he get sniffed after he was done having kids?

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Charlie]

So he. Maybe he was able to calm me down a little bit.

[Miles]

It's kind of like part of Alcoholics Anonymous is that you also sponsor another alcoholic.

[Tyler]

Hi, I'm Tyler, and I've had a vasect to me.

[Miles]

Now. You could drive one of us someday to the. To the hospital.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's my turn. Whenever you guys are ready, let me know. So Grandpa Dave drives me there, and he's like, I'm gonna go rummage sailing while you're in there.

[Charlie]

So cleanup week. It's a good week for it.

[Miles]

So I go, you're cleaning up? And he's cleaning up.

[Charlie]

Did you clean up?

[Tyler]

I did, yeah. Sorry. That's part of the pre op thing. I had to. I had to trim. I had to trim the boys In. In the consult, the doctor, there's a diagram of a penis.

[Charlie]

Of course.

[Tyler]

And he's like pointing. Yeah, points.

[Miles]

Points to above it. How were you able to get through this consultation?

[Charlie]

It's like 8th grade health class all over again. Penis. And I'm gonna start laughing.

[Tyler]

I will. I will give a shout out to the doctor. Dr. Russlap. He's a very chill guy. There were some giggles in the concert.

[Charlie]

That's the doctor I go to.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah. Good.

[Miles]

Good guy.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

You guys are. Are Eskimo bros. Yeah. Essentially. You've had your touched by the same guy?

[Charlie]

Well, no, I've never had my. I've never. He's never touched down there.

[Tyler]

Not yet.

[Charlie]

Not yet anyway.

[Miles]

Yeah, but he just made you duck walk. Yeah, that was.

[Charlie]

That was back in my hometown. He got fired, I think. Yeah.

[Miles]

He's on Prison Pals this week.

[Tyler]

Special guest, the duck walker. So I did have to. I did shave the boys. He's like anything above this line. I don't care. You can keep it as hairy as you want. Everything below this line. 8th of an inch or shorter, please.

[Miles]

So you basically shaved the neck beard is what you're saying.

[Tyler]

I was like, I'm not gonna just leave top only.

[Miles]

I think you should have. That's I'm saying. So get rid of the neck beard. Keep the beard.

[Tyler]

So I. I clean shaved the boys because I was trying to tr. And I snipped my nuts and that didn't feel good.

[Charlie]

So nicked them.

[Tyler]

Nick the nuts with the trimmer. So I just went razor blade and that was fine. Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

Oh, really? I'd be so scared.

[Tyler]

Yeah. The razor blade worked way better than trimming them. So there's some advice for you.

[Charlie]

Yeah, shaving cream, whatever. I'm assuming.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Charlie]

What's that?

[Tyler]

Was. It was actually kind of a fucking nightmare. I shaving creamed up my nuts and I was shaving them in the shower, but I was wearing my glasses. So then my glasses got fogged up because I'm in the shower and so then I had to take my glasses off and like half ass Marilyn Manson so I could be close enough to see my nuts.

[Miles]

So now you know how Stevie Wonder feels saving his nuts.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah. Hopefully he has someone for that. So I get there and the. The nurse set the tone right away.

[Miles]

Guy or girl?

[Tyler]

Girl. She. She was also. Also very chill. She dwing she. Anyway, no, there was. There was no. No bees being popped.

[Charlie]

Okay, well, that's good.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, I wasn't assuming he got a Boner Ryan. I was assuming that he was gonna be self conscious about his wiener size.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I mean, I strokes. I got a wife.

[Charlie]

Show her.

[Tyler]

She. She's okay with the size. So the. The nurse sets the tone right away. She gives me a heat pack. I have to sit on this heat pack. She's like, all right, so you're gonna take this heat pack and make yourself a testicle taco, and then I'll be back in a little bit. Yeah. She said, make a testicle taco with the heat pack. So basically, I just laid down on the table, stripped from the waist down, wrapped my nuts in a heat pack, and then waited for him to come in. They come in, they get all their tools ready. I'm covered up with a towel and whatnot. And the doctor, I shit you not, he's ready to go, turns on a Bluetooth speaker and plays let's Get it on by Marvin Gaye. No, I swear to God, no way. I swear.

[Miles]

No way. Will Ferrell movie I.

[Charlie]

If there's a doctor that will play this song, it's gonna be. It's gonna be Tyler and I's. Doc.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And I was making jokes ahead of time, like, talking to my dad about him. Like, I think I'm gonna get. Like, I'm gonna play taps when he's. When he's finished with it. Or like, we talked about getting the tattoos on the inside of the thighs or, like, writing messages, and I chickened out on all that. But it absolutely would have played with

[Miles]

this guy for sure.

[Tyler]

So he plays let's get it on and he comes over there and he needle lidocaine to the nuts. So that's how they numb you, is they take a needle. That's.

[Miles]

What's the deal with the heat pad here. What are we doing that for?

[Charlie]

Blood flowing.

[Tyler]

I can't have. Then my nuts cannot be.

[Miles]

They gotta be hanging.

[Tyler]

They gotta be hanging.

[Miles]

I gotta. Yeah.

[Charlie]

It's like in a shower.

[Tyler]

Yeah. You get into a cold pool, your nuts shrivel up. Yeah. He can't do his job if my nuts are shriveled up. So that's the heating.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I mean, I guess that makes sense.

[Ryan]

This is.

[Tyler]

You guys can skip your console. You're getting it today.

[Miles]

I know.

[Charlie]

Schedule me in tomorrow.

[Tyler]

So he. He gives me a shot in the nuts and nutshot that hurt the worst of the whole procedure. And he forgot to tell me. He's like, I feel a pinch. He's like, oh, little pressure here. And he's like, probably should have told you that a Second ago, shouldn't I? Yeah. But then they. They numbed right away. And the towel. I can't see what's going on. So he's down there. And I thought he was still, like, prepping, like getting the iodine. Like, they put iodine all. Like the stuff they put on your plasma on your arm for plasma. They put it everywhere. Like the whole thing is covered in

[Charlie]

my toes and everything.

[Tyler]

It looked like I shit my balls. So that stuff is everywhere.

[Charlie]

Get.

[Tyler]

And I thought he was still doing that stuff because like, 15 minutes in he goes, how are you feeling? I was like, fine. He goes, all right, good, we're done with one side. And I was like, you're in there already. And the nurse goes, that's what she said.

[Miles]

What. What kind of place is this?

[Tyler]

I don't know. They put me at ease, though. It was good. They're very chill. And then they did the next side and that one. I could feel them, like, pulling around and stuff and that. It didn't hurt, but it felt wrong. It's like a feeling that nobody should ever have to feel. Like your body just recognized it as something that shouldn't be happening. So I could feel him pull the cord out, snip the cord, and so on and so forth. So basically what they do is they make one cut in between each nuts, right. They pull out the vas deferen, which is a tube, snip the vas deferen, put a. I forget the stint. It's some type of metal. It's. There's a metal clip that goes on the end of the vas deferen where the sperm is made, and then the other side gets cauterized. So I could see that. I could see the smoke from my tubes getting cauterized, rising from my pelvis.

[Charlie]

Yeah, you missed a spot with the razor too. So that you could spill burnt hair.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it did smell gross.

[Charlie]

What you were. Sorry, what you were telling me about. There's. There's a tube for sperm cells and there's a tube for semen.

[Tyler]

Yeah. So they're different.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So semen is basically just a liquid fluid that is a vehicle for sperm cells to get out of your. Of your penis, essentially.

[Miles]

Got it. So it's the bus that carries the passengers.

[Tyler]

Exactly.

[Miles]

So humans. So like little tiny human. So it is a bus.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So liqu.

[Tyler]

So basically from here on out, I have Diet Coke instead of regular coke. There's sugar free Coke.

[Miles]

Yeah. So you're just. Yeah, you're just. You're just spinning.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's like a ghost town that's just like a bunch of buses driving around with no people.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yep.

[Miles]

I mean, that makes total sense.

[Tyler]

Yep. So there will still be stuff happening.

[Miles]

I mean, but you were probably working with a short bus, but yeah. Hey, hey.

[Tyler]

If it gets you from A to B three times.

[Miles]

Times. Let's go.

[Tyler]

So they finish up, right? The right side feels pretty uncomfortable.

[Charlie]

Well, now that.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

Shit's got to be wearing off down there, too.

[Tyler]

No, it didn't wear off for a while.

[Miles]

It could feel My nuts still can't feel, say Stitch.

[Tyler]

You. They give you a dissolvable stitch, so this thing should hopefully just go away eventually. The stitch is still in for one to two weeks.

[Charlie]

Just one stitch?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Huh.

[Tyler]

So they stitched it up.

[Miles]

I. I guess I never thought that they would only do one.

[Charlie]

No, I thought there was always multiple.

[Tyler]

I mean, maybe it's two. I don't know. I didn't count it. It looks like you guys want to see it?

[Jared]

I'll zoom in.

[Miles]

What are we doing? Talking.

[Charlie]

Hey, I'll get Marvin Gay. Let's Get it on by Marvin Gaye. Okay, ready?

[Tyler]

So their whole playlist was all just, like, funny puns about, like, either sex or nuts. Like. Like down under. Like, I come from a land down under. Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And then, like, the Friday.

[Miles]

So you got stitched up, then what?

[Tyler]

Stitched up, procedures done. And he gives me these stickers. I got stickers like a little kid going to the doctor.

[Miles]

What did they say?

[Tyler]

First one is vasectomy survivor. I kid you not.

[Charlie]

Okay.

[Miles]

Just totally ripped our polar. Polar vortex.

[Tyler]

Retired swim team with a bunch of sperm cells.

[Miles]

Nice.

[Tyler]

I think.

[Miles]

Is he even a real doctor?

[Charlie]

I don't know.

[Tyler]

I don't know. We'll find out.

[Charlie]

It's been a couple of years since I've seen him, but.

[Tyler]

And then my favorite one is a lemon wedge that says 100% juice, no seeds.

[Miles]

Wow.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Okay. Kind of the bust children analogy.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah. So from here on out, I. I am still. I think it's viral. Virile. I still have potency. I can still get Becca pregnant.

[Charlie]

And what's the protocol on that again?

[Tyler]

So for in three months from now, I have to send in a sperm sample to. For the sperm count. So I. He called it my homework. My homework from now until August 7th is to nut 35 times.

[Jared]

From now till when?

[Tyler]

From. From now until August 7th.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Because I got the vasectomy on the 7th.

[Jared]

You get that done in two weeks.

[Miles]

I was gonna say you're probably already almost done.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Finished up. But we're at, I think about like 32 right now.

[Charlie]

They have you do that in a Diet Coke bottle or what?

[Tyler]

Yeah. So when we take the. So when we take the break, I'll. I'll finish my numbers quick.

[Miles]

So do you gotta collect all 35 and send them in? No, no, you just put them in a jug together.

[Charlie]

So, yeah, literally do it.

[Tyler]

The. The 35 is just to empty the chamber and then I'll send them. So I asked him. That's a huge clip in the console. When he told me that I had to do this in the consult, I kind of was like, so what, am I just supposed to masturbate in a cup and bring it to you or what? And he's like, I don't do that stuff. You call and you make. You call the lab and they'll tell you what to do.

[Miles]

Love that. This guy.

[Tyler]

Yes.

[Miles]

Unbelievable.

[Tyler]

Great, great doctor. I couldn't recommend him higher. Um, so, yeah, so I have. I have homework, as they say. I have to. I have to nut 35 times. Send that in. They'll tell me what my sperm count is, and if it's zero, I'm good to go.

[Charlie]

Are you a studyer? Will you. Will you study a lot for this homework before actually taking the test?

[Tyler]

You know, I mean, it all depends because I don't want all 35 reps to be solo. You know, it all depends on what my team is.

[Miles]

You don't want to be risking it this close to the.

[Tyler]

You know, there are other.

[Miles]

It's like astronauts going to space. They, like, need to quarantine for a couple weeks so they don't get sick. That's where they go up.

[Tyler]

That's true.

[Miles]

I think kind of in that phase right now. We can't have you getting sick.

[Tyler]

That's true. That would suck. That would really suck if I snuck one in in these 35 tries.

[Charlie]

I mean, it would. Yeah, you'd be fine. You just have another two condoms.

[Miles]

I mean, honestly, at this point, just wear a condom.

[Tyler]

I know. Yeah. I just might go live alone for three months.

[Charlie]

Yeah. Live at the cab at your. The bunker.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Well, play divorce.

[Miles]

My. My brain still can't figure out how it works. The fact. Because in my head, if you snip something, nothing's getting through there. So where.

[Tyler]

So there are.

[Miles]

Where is this chamber of. Of sperm being held?

[Tyler]

I think I'm. I'm 90. Sure. The sperm is held in your testicles. So it's the tube coming out of Your testicles. That's cut. Right. So there are existing sperm cells that are in those tubes already or already, like, mixed with the semen that are existing inside of me, basically.

[Miles]

So 35 has got to be overkill, I think.

[Tyler]

I think that's probably a number that's like, just to play it safe.

[Charlie]

I think it's more so 35 hours.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Because it's not. It won't die 35 times.

[Miles]

About. About an hour each time should do

[Tyler]

the trick because they're like, all in there incubating and alive. So I have to get them out of me for them to die. Like, they're not just gonna sit in me and die.

[Miles]

Right. But if so, let me do a different analogy here. So let's say you have. Let's say you have a hose, correct? Yes. So let's say you have. You have your hose hooked up to your house, the faucet. Right. And then you turn it on and then it comes out the other end. But if I just take a scissors and I cut that hose, there's going to be some water left in the tube.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

But once I were to empty all that water out, there's no way that water can get from the house to the end of the tube.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's so.

[Charlie]

No. But there may be a couple drops just sitting in there on the. The tube that you cut. There might still be a couple drops just. Just hanging out. So that's what they're might have to like air.

[Tyler]

Think of it like there's two hoses that combine into one, and there's one's got yellow water, one's got blue water. You snip the blue water hose, right?

[Charlie]

Yep.

[Tyler]

And you. You just keep pumping it out until it's just yellow. But for a while there, it's going to be mixed and it's going to be kind of green. The yellow and the blue water will be a little bit mixed.

[Miles]

Correct. But I just. How much is sitting in there?

[Tyler]

And I.

[Miles]

If it's just sitting there, it's still going to be good.

[Tyler]

It just takes one.

[Charlie]

Case by case.

[Tyler]

It just takes one.

[Charlie]

Everyone has different sperm counts, you know,

[Tyler]

so, like my body Shrillian, it's gonna keep making sperm for the rest of my life, but it'll just get absorbed back into my body because it has no excess.

[Miles]

It cool. Got it.

[Tyler]

All right. H. Yeah. So recovery. My. My nuts.

[Miles]

Yeah. How you feeling today?

[Tyler]

Perfectly normal. Like, I. A little twinge here and there, but I. I think I was telling Ryan earlier it might be things that have happened before, but I'm just so hyper aware of my balls right now that I. I feel something, and it's like, oh, is that because of the vasectomy, or is that. Cause I sat weird.

[Miles]

What are they doing right now, your

[Tyler]

balls, now that you're hyper aware of them right now? They're just chilling. They're sleeping perfectly fine.

[Miles]

I will have to say this is probably the first time in my life I've become aware of my. Where my balls are in space.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's been one of the weirder parts.

[Charlie]

Yeah. Like the latitude laundry.

[Miles]

Now we started talking about. Now I'm thinking about where my balls are in the space right now.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Jared]

In space.

[Miles]

Like, what do you mean we're in space?

[Tyler]

Just in my environment, and space goes on forever, Jared.

[Jared]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Your nutsack is pretty small in the grand scheme of space.

[Miles]

It's true. I'm glad you finished that.

[Tyler]

You know, honestly, that's a great way to think about it. Like, with how big space is, everyone has a tiny wiener.

[Miles]

That's true. Exactly. It's a great argument. Yeah, I'm gonna start bringing that up.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

I mean, we all got tiny wieners if you think about how vast space is.

[Jared]

And the Hubble's got to zoom in a lot.

[Miles]

Oh, my God.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

My.

[Tyler]

My balls stop being numb about 15 minutes into the drive home. And if you know anything about how old people drive, they're quick on the gas and heavy on the brake.

[Miles]

Have you been having to ice your nuts?

[Tyler]

Yeah. Not anymore. The first two days, I was supposed to stay completely horizontal for the first two days and ice off and on 20, on 20, off for the first two days. But I.

[Miles]

You're supposed to stay horizontal

[Tyler]

to help with swelling and the stitch and all that.

[Miles]

So what if you would have had to work the next day, you're supposed

[Tyler]

to take it off.

[Miles]

Got it.

[Tyler]

Which is why I got, like, really lucky that you were gone. One, two. We had work off on Friday, so this is just the perfect scenario for it all to align.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Wow. Your balls aligned.

[Tyler]

Yeah, the balls really aligned.

[Miles]

All the balls were in your court.

[Tyler]

That was the most painful part of the entire experience was grandpa driving me home. Because when we got into town, just starting it, stopping. Starting it, stopping in my nuts are bunching up in my underwear. It's like, hey, dude, you should put

[Charlie]

the seats down in the back. Lay down in the back.

[Tyler]

I should have. I should have. And I didn't want to complain because homie dropped everything to drive me all the way up there on a moment's notice. So I didn't watch.

[Charlie]

Any good sponsor would.

[Tyler]

Yep. As any good testicular doctor.

[Miles]

Do a jersey swap. Did you get his scrubs and then you gave him something?

[Tyler]

My ears. I should have. No. I'll send him something, though. He sent me a sticker. I'll send him a you Betty sticker.

[Jared]

There you go.

[Miles]

Please don't.

[Tyler]

Why?

[Miles]

I don't know.

[Tyler]

Okay, I'll get a Tyler sticker made. Send it to him.

[Charlie]

Send him a dad hat.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Polar vortex revive.

[Tyler]

I don't know if he's a daddy. He stops people from becoming dads for a living.

[Miles]

Oh, so you're doing good.

[Tyler]

Doing good. Yeah.

[Miles]

And now you just gotta. It's like when you used to have to read a certain amount of hours to get, like, a Domino's gift card in elementary school or whatever.

[Charlie]

Pizza. Personal pan pizza.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

It's like you got punch card for nutting. Did it give you a punch card?

[Tyler]

No, but I made a to do list in my notes app with just 35 checkboxes.

[Miles]

Nice.

[Charlie]

Are you. Yeah. Will you try and knock it out quick or are you gonna take.

[Miles]

You gotta wait till three months anyway.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I'm a little nervous. I haven't. I haven't done anything yet. I think I still. I'm still a little nervous to be. Be giving it a go.

[Miles]

So you're still locked and loaded.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Don't be like.

[Charlie]

Yeah. Don't be watching, like, Euphoria or anything before bed.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I have it every time I watch you for.

[Charlie]

No, not watch nip talk either.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Miles]

Every time. We're. Every time. And I am better, like, end up on HBO every time I scroll by it and I say, God, we gotta start watching Euphoria. And I don't think she knows what that show is. And so she doesn't get the joke.

[Tyler]

I watched season one.

[Miles]

Is it pretty smutty?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

What I understand. I don't know. I saw the commercials of Sydney Sweeney in a dog outfit. I was like, what? This is not a show I should be watching with my wife. Well, you.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

You wore a cow outfit for that one video, though.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Tyler]

Same thing. Same thing.

[Miles]

Yeah. Also, it was a deer costume.

[Charlie]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

Deer.

[Charlie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Charlie. It was the cow. Yeah. Which is somebody's dream.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Charlie and a cow.

[Tyler]

You and Charlie. Deer and cow.

[Miles]

Maybe gotta start watching Euphoria. God.

[Charlie]

Didn't know. Don't, Tyler.

[Tyler]

I won't, I won't. I'll wait for a Week or two, then I'll pick up on season two. But it's not really like. It's mostly about kids being drug addicts.

[Charlie]

I've never seen it.

[Tyler]

That's what season one's about.

[Charlie]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Except for one. Yeah. I don't want to spoil anything for you.

[Charlie]

You can say spoiler alert.

[Miles]

It's very similar vibe to you saying you didn't get a dad hat, even though we know you did.

[Charlie]

No, I didn't. And I've just seen the headlines of the. I mean, it's every headline today. What is the euphoria? Sydney Sweeney's boobs being out?

[Miles]

Okay.

[Jared]

I don't know.

[Miles]

God, I didn't even know that that was okay.

[Tyler]

No, I see where you're going, though, because her boobs were not out in season one, so I didn't know it was a boob show.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's what I thought. I understood that that's the type of show it was, so that's why I was. Kept making that joke to end.

[Charlie]

But you're correct. Yeah. From what I. From what? From what I've seen on the show.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I'll avoid euphoria for you, Ryan.

[Charlie]

Yeah. Don't have to do it for me.

[Tyler]

I'm.

[Miles]

I'm just looking out for you. Any last thoughts about your procedure?

[Charlie]

Regrets?

[Tyler]

No. No regrets. I think it was. I think it's worth it. So anybody thinking about doing it?

[Miles]

No. Snippers? Remorse?

[Tyler]

No, none yet. I mean, if she gets pregnant in

[Miles]

two weeks, do you get your money back if that happens?

[Tyler]

I don't think so, because they. They warned me quite a few times. It's in big all caps letters on my post option. No. That you are not sterile until you complete these steps.

[Jared]

Gotcha.

[Tyler]

All right, but if I hit 35 early, I might try to get the.

[Miles]

All right, well, I thought this was the end, but, hey, job not done.

[Tyler]

Job not done.

[Charlie]

To do we have to talk about this again?

[Miles]

We're only in the first half.

[Tyler]

Ye y.

[Jared]

Does this make you want to get stiffed? More or less. After hearing all this,

[Miles]

It's about what I expected to be.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Miles]

You know, I just feel like the seriousness of it, it's just exactly the way guys would want it to go down 100%.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You know what I mean? Like, it feels. It's. There's nothing about this that shocked me other than trying to understand the vast deis and how it all works.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jared]

The science approach.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

I mean, I was a little shocked. He's playing Marvin Gaye for you. But.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but.

[Miles]

But now that I think about it, makes total sense, because then. Because then you're gonna leave, you're going podcast and you're gonna tell your buddies this is what he did. You should. I couldn't recommend this guy more. Yeah. Oh, you know, it's like a little locker room talk goes a long way with guys and referrals. Any last words for all the guys out there that are maybe thinking about it, that are maybe a little ne about it? That it's.

[Tyler]

It's really, really like, if you follow the directions of the care, you'll be all right. I didn't even follow him to a T, and I feel perfectly normal.

[Miles]

He's having another kid. He's having another kid.

[Tyler]

No, the directions on, like, the pain level. Like, I didn't. I didn't ice. Off and on for two days straight. 20 on, 20 off. I didn't stay completely horizontal for the full 48 hours. Uhoh. Like, you don't. Oh, it's worth it. And I feel fine.

[Jared]

Yeah. I mean, doctors will say take antibiotics for like, two weeks, but then after seven days, you're fine.

[Miles]

Correct.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Miles]

100.

[Charlie]

Get the volume.

[Tyler]

Yeah. If you want value, take it.

[Miles]

It's. It's.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

I mean, think about it this way. It's like thousand dollars vasectomy or value million dollars for another child.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Is that what we're.

[Jared]

That's the price?

[Miles]

Is that what we're estimating now?

[Charlie]

No, I don't know.

[Tyler]

I think the estimate is like. Like quarter of a mil.

[Charlie]

Quarter mil.

[Jared]

But a condom is much cheaper than vasectomy.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Tyler]

Yeah. But that adds up my. Hey, remember, I got my vasectomy down pretty cheap.

[Charlie]

Yeah. You look at the price of gas,

[Miles]

price of a condom.

[Charlie]

You look at the price of gas, think about what's going to happen to the price of Trojans.

[Tyler]

I got it. For the price of 300 condoms.

[Jared]

Jesus.

[Miles]

How much are condoms these days?

[Tyler]

Oh, no. Miles, you got a kid coming or what?

[Miles]

I'm the one person that it shouldn't be. Oh, no, that.

[Tyler]

You know, that's true. You want.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

My kid's almost 2 years old.

[Tyler]

Perfect timing.

[Charlie]

Congrats. Yeah.

[Miles]

I think I forgot to say, what is the price of condoms?

[Tyler]

I was thinking it was like, yeah,

[Miles]

this is actually great. It's like, let's all try and guess. It's like, try and get. It's like, you have rich people guess the price of milk.

[Jared]

They do that to the president. What's a gallon of Milk right now.

[Miles]

Correct. Yeah. We're doing the same thing to a bunch of guys who probably haven't used one in a very long time. Let's guess the price of a three pack of condoms.

[Tyler]

Do they even sell them in three packs?

[Miles]

Three pack? They don't come in three packs.

[Jared]

I don't know who's coming.

[Miles]

Wait, so what do you guys think?

[Charlie]

No, I just assume.

[Tyler]

I was thinking like a box.

[Miles]

Like a 12 pack.

[Charlie]

Yeah, I was going to go, like, in terms of, like, beer or something. Like a 12 pack. I. I. Whether they come in 12 packs or not, I.

[Miles]

Okay, all right, so 12 pack.

[Tyler]

The ones that I have bought, I think come in 15 packs. They're like a box, yay big.

[Miles]

Okay, all right, 15 pack.

[Jared]

Little rusty on this.

[Miles]

I like unbe.

[Tyler]

All right, I'm going to Google it, but I'm gonna get my guess in like.

[Miles]

Like, unbelievably rusty. All right,

[Tyler]

I'm gonna go 15 pack. I'm gonna go $22 for a 15 pack. And I'm gonna Google it now.

[Miles]

All right, I gotta do some math on what I think.

[Jared]

15 pack. I'll say 18.99.

[Charlie]

I'll say 21.99.

[Jared]

18.99 for Jared.

[Miles]

You said how much? 22.

[Tyler]

Oh, my God.

[Miles]

22.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that was my gu.

[Miles]

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go $37 and 15 cent. 50 cents.

[Tyler]

Okay, everyone, I. I'm gonna take myself out. They don't sell them in 15s. They sell them in tens.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

So I have the price in front of me for a ten pack.

[Charlie]

Okay, okay, ten pack. Let's just.

[Jared]

I'll do 14.99.

[Miles]

I'll do 25 bucks for a ten pack.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

I don't know why I need to use my calculator for that.

[Charlie]

15.49.

[Tyler]

Okay, 21.99 for a 10 pack at the.

[Charlie]

That's what I said. For 15 pack.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, for rice.

[Jared]

Why do they make condoms so expensive? It seems so counterproductive.

[Tyler]

Two dollars and twenty cents a piece.

[Miles]

You can go to, like, Planned Parenthood and get them for free, though, can't you?

[Jared]

Yeah, but those.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but you gotta, like.

[Charlie]

I think you can go to the truck.

[Miles]

They all suck, Jared.

[Tyler]

That's true.

[Jared]

The cheap ones, they can go to

[Charlie]

the truck stop and, like, 75 cents or something.

[Miles]

And the last, just use some sheepskin latex glove.

[Tyler]

Yeah, the last time I bought them, too. They keep them in a locked case because kids keep stealing them from stores now.

[Jared]

I feel like, it's a fine thing to steal.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's like, let them steal it. Yeah, well, they don't want to steal it because then those kids will buy diapers from their stores.

[Miles]

Yeah. Make way more money off the diapers.

[Jared]

Yeah, see, that's true.

[Miles]

Well, yeah. So what is that? About two dollars over two bucks a condom?

[Jared]

It's pricey. It's a monster.

[Miles]

You always say, like, what's the price of a good nut? Well, we know now. Two dollars and ten cents.

[Tyler]

Well, good.

[Miles]

Yeah. Mild nut.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Like a passable nut.

[Miles]

$2.10 or whatever it was. That's about right. Yeah. That seems about

[Tyler]

two Georges,

[Miles]

two George Washington's. So was anyone even collided 25. What was yours?

[Charlie]

1549.

[Jared]

1499, I guess.

[Tyler]

But we're on the 15. And then I googled it, so I'm out, I guess. 20. I was right on the money for if it was 15 instead of 10. 22.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

God. Even condoms aren't. Aren't safe from inflation.

[Charlie]

A lot of them come through the straight of Hormuz, I think.

[Tyler]

Oil and rubbers.

[Charlie]

Tyler was working condom shortage coming. He had to get the vasectomy.

[Tyler]

Perfect timing. Those vasectomies about to skyrocket.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Condom problems going on.

[Miles]

I see that.

[Charlie]

There's a big. There's a big cargo ship. A bunch of containers fell off from the ocean. I think they were all rubber.

[Jared]

I think I got a good look at it.

[Tyler]

Yeah?

[Charlie]

Yep.

[Miles]

Yep. You got a source.

[Charlie]

No, it's just headlines again. I'm a headline guy.

[Jared]

You gotta start reading articles. Right?

[Miles]

Yeah. Most people are ashamed to be a headline reader. And Ryan's like, unapologetic.

[Jared]

That's what I do.

[Miles]

All right, let's take a break.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Oh, boys. I tell you what. I was at the lake this weekend getting stuff opened up, and I'm ready for summer.

[Tyler]

Hell, yeah.

[Miles]

And I was lucky enough to remember my Shady race because nothing goes together like lake cabins and Shady rays.

[Tyler]

Good on you, dude. Because that's the one thing about sunglasses that I always. I always forget them. Yeah, you don't know how much you love sunglasses until you forget them.

[Miles]

That's very true.

[Tyler]

So don't forget yours.

[Miles]

And I luckily remember my Shady Rays is basically the official sponsor of me opening up my cabin.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

Because it was bright out. I haven't seen the sun in how long, and it felt nice.

[Jared]

Yeah. And another thing, you always. You know, it's a good pair of sunglasses when you forget they're on your face even.

[Miles]

Correct. Yeah. It becomes one with your face. And that does happen. Like. Right. Am I wearing sunglasses right now? I don't know.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Jared]

Exactly.

[Miles]

No, I'm asking you guys. Yeah, you are. Yeah, I'm wearing.

[Tyler]

You are, yeah. Yep, yep, yep.

[Miles]

I am.

[Jared]

Do a checkup.

[Miles]

Once again, is that in a good hat? You know, it's kind of the same. Same in there. So if you guys want. If you guys want to forget you're wearing them, you gotta go to wearing sunglasses. You gotta go shitty raised. It's. It's perfect for Summer. And they look good, they feel good on. Well, you don't even feel them on your face, I guess is the accurate description. And they're polarized. And the best part is, is they're not going to break your bank. You know, they're not those $200 sunglasses that you're really scared to do anything with. These are affordable but also have the same quality as those 200 glasses. So go to shadyrays.com use color YBR. Get 40 with a 4.40percent off two or more polarized glasses using code YBR. Today, Ryan had to step out. He has sales meeting.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Very important for him, which is funny.

[Miles]

So he's here in Spirit. He might come back, he might not.

[Tyler]

We're not sure. It's a surprise for all of us.

[Miles]

Of anyone in the whole company. Ryan comes and goes as he pleases. We never know.

[Tyler]

He really does. Doesn't.

[Miles]

He just goes. Leaves whenever he wants.

[Tyler]

And sometimes he just works in a different part of the office, and I just assume he's gone.

[Miles]

Right.

[Tyler]

And then he'll be like, why don't you come tell me? I don't know where you were.

[Miles]

So. Yeah, we'll see.

[Jared]

Speaking of Spirit. Spirit Airlines.

[Miles]

God. Spirit Airlines. God. I don't know how they. How they. I don't know why they couldn't survive what happened. Have either of you guys actually ever flown Spirit?

[Tyler]

I almost did one time, but it was like four connecting flights to get to Phoenix.

[Miles]

Yeah, no, I never. I never got to.

[Tyler]

It was so cheap, though, that I was this close to doing is like 90 bucks, you know?

[Miles]

Like, I imagine not ever flying on Spirit Airlines. Probably how you guys feel about missing out on the opportunity to buy a Microsoft Zoom back in the day.

[Tyler]

Like, I. You're right. You're right.

[Miles]

Just kicking yourself just once.

[Tyler]

It keeps me up almost every night.

[Miles]

It was a great product, way ahead of its time. Too early on.

[Tyler]

It's too good.

[Jared]

But there's, like, a thing online, like, to publicly raise money to Buy Spirit Airlines. Kind of like how the.

[Miles]

Like a publicly trade. Like a publicly owned. A publicly owned private company, something like that.

[Jared]

And they compared it to like. Like owning the packers. Like how that's like.

[Tyler]

So who gets paid?

[Jared]

I. I don't. Yeah, I don't know if it's like a startup cost to buy it and then.

[Miles]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Jared]

Yeah, so you can maybe buy Spirit.

[Miles]

I mean, because it's like, it makes. If I'm. If like I'm Delta or whatever. Because planes are not expensive, so. Or they are expensive.

[Tyler]

They're not expensive.

[Jared]

The people.

[Miles]

They're very expensive. And so if, you know, it's like, oh, well, why didn't the company just acquire them? Because like, now. Now that, like, these other companies can just buy planes for pennies on the dollar and just repaint them. You know what I mean?

[Jared]

Get that yellow out of here.

[Tyler]

Yeah, terrible yellow. They're gonna have to do some upkeep on the inside, aren't they? Aren't they pretty shitty?

[Miles]

I don't know. I've never flown. Never phone. I mean, we've had some. That. And then the guy who got sucked up into the airplane. Crazy. Didn't hear about that. Oh, do you hear about that on the Runway? Yeah, I. I. Last I heard of. They didn't know why he was out there. There was a lot of. Of course, the Internet was speculating all over the place, but yeah, dude. A guy was standing on the Runway as a plane was taking off and got sucked in the engine and basically just disintegrated.

[Tyler]

God.

[Miles]

Dude. Dude, the.

[Jared]

It's not good.

[Miles]

It's not good. It's like a.

[Tyler]

Worse. Worse than the scene in Indiana Jones when the guy gets whacked by the propeller.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's about the same, but worse. Is it.

[Miles]

I don't know.

[Jared]

I think that's more.

[Miles]

There's just nothing left. He's just. Because it. That. Because it's like fire in there. It also, like, incinerated. Not only chopped it. Yeah, it's just bad. It's really bad.

[Tyler]

Bad.

[Miles]

It'd be very horrific for everyone on board. You have to go to some therapy.

[Tyler]

All the kids watching out the window.

[Miles]

Yeah, well, I saw a video. Like, people were just going up to it, looking in the engine that, like, passengers that were getting off. And there was a kid. I was like. I was like, you know, I don't like to judge other people's parenting, but, like, just maybe just don't have your kid go look at a human that just Got incinerated by a jet engine.

[Jared]

But anyways, let's maybe not do that.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

To each their own.

[Miles]

What would you guys. If you. Let's say you bought Spirit Airlines, what would you do?

[Tyler]

Oh, God.

[Miles]

Would you rename it? Would you keep. Would you just. Would you bring it back?

[Jared]

I want more black planes. I think black planes you go.

[Miles]

Instead of Spirit Airlines, you go Ghoul Airlines, Ghost Airlines, and then paint it all black. Yeah.

[Tyler]

You could keep the spirit and collab with Spirit Halloween.

[Jared]

Now, that's the spirit it.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Tower. So. And then all of the flight attendants can wear a costume. Yeah.

[Tyler]

And you.

[Miles]

And then instead of the sky Mall, you can just shop at Spirit Halloween online.

[Tyler]

Yes.

[Jared]

That'd be funny if one of the flight attendants dressed like a pilot. That'd be very.

[Miles]

That'd be very confusing if.

[Tyler]

I'm back.

[Miles]

What are you doing back here? What are you doing back here?

[Tyler]

Gotcha. This is a great costume for 1999 that you can pick up if you're a Spirit Halloween air. What would they call them? Diamond members?

[Jared]

Yeah, I think so. I do like the SkyMall idea. Kind of like of a retail store inside.

[Tyler]

You know what I would actually do if I bought it? I would. I would just get it back up and running. But I would give people an option to read their mail while they're on their flight.

[Jared]

Okay, I'm listening. I'm listening.

[Miles]

You could call it air mail. Yeah.

[Jared]

I can't believe I didn't think of that.

[Miles]

So it's a really good idea. So, like, years later, Jared, that's still just a terrible idea.

[Jared]

Well, you're out of play. You have nothing else to do but

[Miles]

the logistics to get everyone's mail.

[Jared]

If your flight gets canceled, what do you do?

[Miles]

You still get your mail?

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's just there. You gotta get it in baggage claim two cities away.

[Jared]

Well, they said it on the next flight.

[Miles]

Disaster. Just a disaster.

[Tyler]

The best part about that bit is, Jared, you were relative. You're probably, like, 15 episodes in.

[Jared]

Yeah, I was fresh.

[Tyler]

And that was the first time Miles was ever, like, okay against you. He's like, that was dumb.

[Miles]

Yeah. There's not many times, Jared, where I feel like you would not. Where I let you have it. Air Matt was definitely one of those times.

[Jared]

Yeah. That was the last straw. You had.

[Tyler]

Just.

[Miles]

I couldn't fake it any longer.

[Jared]

I've had great ideas since then.

[Miles]

You have just to name a few.

[Jared]

You got the water app idea I told you about. What was that one Again.

[Ryan]

So you.

[Jared]

It's like your porta potty thing, but with water fountains.

[Miles]

So you locate a water fountain. Yeah. Okay, I'll count that.

[Jared]

That was. That was.

[Miles]

That was a really good one. Big one. It's a big one. That I didn't even remember.

[Jared]

I had a idea for sunflower seeds to have nicotine on them.

[Miles]

Yeah, you're. You're good. That's plenty of. You're good.

[Jared]

So.

[Miles]

Yeah, that is true. Instead of salt on the outside.

[Tyler]

Nicotine powder. Yeah, it's called nick salt. So yeah, I like that.

[Miles]

That is a good idea. I'm just remembering now that that was a good idea. You gotta. You gotta hit up that one company, the. They started on Tick Tock. They're always doing wild flavors.

[Tyler]

Oh.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah. Selling a bucket or whatever.

[Tyler]

God, I've had their seeds.

[Miles]

Didn't they send us some at some point?

[Tyler]

Maybe. I know I bought them in town. Anyways, doesn't matter.

[Miles]

So what do you got for us today, Jared?

[Jared]

Some Patreon questions.

[Miles]

Okay, good. Good moment. So, guys, you gotta check out our Patreon. Last week we had Charlie on Patreon.

[Tyler]

Chuckles.

[Miles]

Is that our first guest ever on Patreon that wasn't our wives?

[Jared]

Might be.

[Tyler]

So yeah, she's been on Patreon before.

[Jared]

You want it never on Patreon.

[Miles]

You want to see Charlie Barron's let his hair down a bit. You got to go to patreon.com, you bet your radio. Or check us out on the Patreon app and you get episode with Chuck from last week.

[Jared]

And the reviews are in. People love the episode.

[Miles]

That's what I'm hearing.

[Jared]

So it's good.

[Tyler]

Except for one guy that said he missed me and Ryan.

[Miles]

Really?

[Tyler]

Yeah. Probably Ryan's burner, to be honest.

[Miles]

So yeah, go. Go check it out. And got all sorts of episodes over there. Plus can also ask questions. And that's what we're gonna do today.

[Jared]

T shirt. The Ryan guy. I got a one night stay to the Ritz paid for by my company, but I can't afford to do anything else there.

[Miles]

I can't eat.

[Jared]

Any ideas for how I should entertain myself in a place I don't really belong?

[Miles]

Well, I'm guessing they got free wi Fi and do the Tyler special. Get a punch card.

[Charlie]

Yep.

[Tyler]

35 times in that. Where Scarlet and say 30.

[Miles]

Do the. Do the. Do the Tyler special. 35 times in that one night.

[Tyler]

Yeah. It's like we got the. All these challenges. It's the Tyler challenge.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Y.

[Miles]

Okay. Yeah. Hacks. I Would definitely. So I. What I would do is, even though you're only going to be there for one night, I'd bring a bunch of different outfits and hats, coats, whatnot. And I'm. I'm guessing they gotta have some sort of free snack in the lobby. So for dinner, you're gonna mosey on through. Let's say they got a plate of cookies. You're gonna take a couple cookies. You know, I'd say two is acceptable at one time. Then go up to your room, change outfits, then mosey on down, grab a couple more, and just continue to do that until you're full is what I would do.

[Jared]

I like that idea.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

That's rock solid. Say, put a. Put the robe on and just roam around to the robe.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

You just feel a little more powerful in a robe. Or drunk.

[Miles]

Yeah. You could really get risky and try and go to the hotel bar, which I'm guessing is expensive, and play some sort of sob story, see if anyone will buy you free drinks.

[Tyler]

Yeah. What you mean? Oh, yeah, on work, you could maybe just get your tab charged to.

[Miles]

Yeah. Oh, dude, Charge to the room. It's. Everything's free when you charge it to the room.

[Jared]

Yeah, but I was thinking, like, you could charge it to a random room and roll the dice on that.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Jared]

And then change outfits and charge on another room if they catch on.

[Miles]

What you need to do is you need to catch someone. You need to. You need to wait by your door until you hear your neighbor leaving. Then you come out and, like, you're going to lock and be like, oh, how's it going? Like, get their last name and then you're good.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yep. Because they'll confirm that.

[Jared]

Maybe hand them a business card. Then they'll hand you a business card. Something like that, maybe.

[Miles]

Oh, you want to do the hallway business card swap. It's kind of my tradition when I stay at Ritz's because I stay here all the time.

[Tyler]

His business card is just lame as. And it's like junior accountant for so and so.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Just wait in the hallway like this.

[Miles]

With a business card, what you could do is see if you can buy a Ritz Carlton like. Like a bellhop outfit on ebay.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

And then bring that. And then you have access to the whole hotel. You can go in back kitchen area,

[Jared]

you know?

[Tyler]

Yeah, you.

[Miles]

You get all, like, they gotta have a spot where they keep all of the snacks that's in the, like, snack area of the hotel. And just go in the back and

[Tyler]

just snack up and you Just tell the person at the front desk it's your first day. And then you're like, hey, can you show me how to do room look, somebody's asking for a room lookup. And then you have all the names and room numbers to charge to whatever you want.

[Miles]

Yeah. Now you own the hotel.

[Tyler]

Yeah. You are rich.

[Jared]

Like, hey, all the liquor's locked up. How do I get in there?

[Miles]

Oh, I forgot my liquor cabinet key. Where is that thing? I must have had in my other pair of work pants.

[Tyler]

Also, where do you keep the crackers?

[Jared]

That's good.

[Tyler]

Thanks.

[Miles]

Oh, no. What you need? Yeah, then you get. No, you got to get a. Just a regular worker outfit and then be the guy who runs foods up to people's rooms. And then just be like, I, I got this one. I'll run this one up. And then just go into your room.

[Tyler]

Try to get my steps in today. Just disappear.

[Miles]

Not a bad idea.

[Tyler]

Make sure you check the food first. Make sure it's not something shitty. Yeah, they have Ritza shitty food, I heard.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's what I heard, too.

[Jared]

Crap. You got crackers on the bed.

[Tyler]

It's just Ritz crackers. That's it.

[Miles]

But lay some plastic down, because if you spill, you want them to know it was you.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So lay some plastic down. And then you also want to get some garbage can, garbage bags. And you can't use any of their utensils because again, they'll know that you use something. So maybe just bring like a, A. A knife of some sort. Like a pretty long knife. You never know what you're gonna be dealing with. You got a cut of pizza.

[Tyler]

What if you do like a knife,

[Miles]

garbage bags, duct tape. Because you don't want. Last thing you want is to be disposing of the food evidence and have a bag break open right in the lobby.

[Tyler]

That'd be terrible.

[Miles]

You want. You're gonna want to duct tape up the garbage cans to make garbage bags so they're not bursting open.

[Tyler]

And you're going to want to clean up afterwards so they know that you didn't have anything. So you need lots of chemicals, bleach, maybe some sulfuric acid in a row.

[Miles]

You just never. You want to be prepared because last thing you want is to be caught red hand, red handed with spaghetti sauce all over your hands.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Miles]

You know what I mean?

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

So do that. I'd probably do something like that.

[Tyler]

Have a good time,

[Jared]

Sue P. Coleslaw rake. Tyler's top 10 jobs he's ever had since he's had about 312 of them. Maybe top five.

[Miles]

The of my personal favorites is this in no particular order.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Because you got to remind me some of them. I like your sunglasses. Hut job.

[Tyler]

Thank you.

[Miles]

That was a good.

[Jared]

There's one turkey job.

[Miles]

That's a good, good job.

[Tyler]

That was fun.

[Miles]

Yeah, I'm not in love with that one. I like that you had to clean fish for like, 10 cents a fish.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

It's a good one.

[Tyler]

I'm amazed you remembered that.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, you are going. Always going on and on about all your jobs.

[Jared]

Miles has a really good memory, too.

[Tyler]

Yeah, everyone knows that about Miles. He remembers everything. Steel trap.

[Miles]

I. I have a. I do have a really good memory, but only on things I really care about.

[Tyler]

About, which is, like, me.

[Jared]

Your kid's name.

[Tyler]

Like fish.

[Miles]

Like, if I. If I read an article about something I really cared about, I would. I would remember it after one time. I remember everything in the article.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

But I gotta really care about it. All right, so you. All right. Well, honestly, I don't know if I'm gonna get the five, so I'll just put the turkey thing on there.

[Charlie]

Okay.

[Miles]

You were a roofer. Yep. So I'll put that on the list. And number five would be. I don't know. What else did you do?

[Jared]

I mean, this job.

[Tyler]

I have this job. The news, the radio, irrigation sprinklers. Not like true. Irrigation, lawn mowing.

[Miles]

I'll do. I'll do the news.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

Love to get a peep at your packages again.

[Tyler]

Yeah, maybe Jared will have Bring one back.

[Jared]

I gotta find them.

[Tyler]

I hated that job. Love the people. And then the radio is the opposite. I loved some of the people. I love that job. But disliked a lot of the people.

[Miles]

Now look at you.

[Tyler]

I hate the job and the people.

[Miles]

Best of both worlds.

[Jared]

Kayla Medea. Pip. My pontoon. What upgrades would you give to a pontoon boat?

[Miles]

Not a third tune, I can tell you that much.

[Tyler]

Why not?

[Miles]

What's the. What's the advantage of a tritune?

[Tyler]

I don't know. Is that a thing?

[Miles]

Tritunes?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah.

[Jared]

Is it more stable?

[Tyler]

Okay, so is pawn like a. Does that mean two?

[Jared]

I don't know.

[Miles]

Know.

[Jared]

I don't either.

[Tyler]

Because if they're calling it a tritune, shouldn't a pontoon be a bi. Tune?

[Miles]

I don't know. I. Yeah. I don't know why it's called a pontoon.

[Tyler]

That makes no sense to me.

[Miles]

It's probably a very obvious answer.

[Jared]

Yeah. The word two is in pontoon.

[Miles]

So two tubes, two t. Oh, it's. There's actually two forms.

[Tyler]

Why is it a tritune then? T O o n It should be a pontoon. Trin Fun.

[Miles]

God damn, that sucks. All right, Upgrades.

[Jared]

Bathroom.

[Miles]

Do I get an.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Do I get an unlimited budget?

[Tyler]

Y. Yeah.

[Miles]

Well, so what I'm doing is if I'm be anchored up to a sandbar, I'm going to, you know, like, you know, like big ass fans. Like they're really big ass fans that are like 20ft wide.

[Tyler]

Like on a fan boat.

[Miles]

I want a big ass umbrella that covers the. Not only the boat but extends into the water. So if you're hanging out at the sandbar, you can also be in the shade.

[Tyler]

That's nice.

[Miles]

On a really hot day.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's nice.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

What else would I do?

[Jared]

Sea legs.

[Miles]

If I could figure out just make it so that the motor is silent.

[Tyler]

Talent electric.

[Miles]

Yeah, I suppose that would do it. Yeah. Electric motor.

[Tyler]

Pontoons don't need to go fast.

[Jared]

Yeah, it could be like a hybrid. If you're going.

[Miles]

But I wanted to. I would still want to get the smell of gas though.

[Jared]

Yeah, it'd be good like a hybrid. I think so if you're going really slow, the electric kicks in. If you're going really fast, the gas.

[Tyler]

I like that like less than 15 electric.

[Miles]

I mean we could also just accomplish it by just having like a gas like. Like contain like a just gas on the boat that's open so I can still smell it.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you could just have your own personal water bottle of gas that you could huff out of every once in a while.

[Miles]

Yeah, I would like that actually be good. Yeah. You know like they have like the glade plug in things you put in the wall. Just a gas scented one would be nice.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

I actually would like that.

[Jared]

Or like WD40.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Sawdust.

[Miles]

We need to start doing obscure smells like that. You know, like grandma's house must.

[Jared]

Yeah, Grandpa's garage.

[Miles]

Grandpa's garage. You know, like library smell.

[Tyler]

There's an I. That could be a fun fact for you. You have to look up because I don't remember but there's an actual term for the smell of old books.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I think I had a fun fact.

[Miles]

I think you did that once.

[Jared]

Good memory.

[Miles]

So he remembered and I cared about

[Jared]

that one,

[Miles]

so I'd maybe do that.

[Tyler]

I want a mister on it. But the mister supplies sunscreen to my entire body.

[Miles]

So you just want like a booth that you walk in and it just

[Tyler]

applies the Sunscreen, you know, like those misters they have like on hot days in. In southern cities. Yeah, like that. So I can just do like one twirl in it and I'm so screened up.

[Miles]

A little booth. Yeah, it's like, like girls that get spray tans, they just go into a booth and they spin or what. I don't know what they.

[Tyler]

I don't know what they're doing there either.

[Miles]

But I was asking Anne about that. I'm like, so a spray tan. Is there someone actually spraying you or is it like a machine? Like a car? Like a touchless car wash? Instead of. There's both.

[Jared]

You're like, well, that didn't answer my question.

[Tyler]

Which thanks for nothing.

[Miles]

Now that would be nice.

[Jared]

Say a big ass tv.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

Even though we're out there for nature. But.

[Jared]

But we could put nature on the tv. That's no problem.

[Miles]

That's true. That is true.

[Tyler]

What are you guys thoughts on people that have in ground pools at the lake?

[Miles]

I mean, it's just. You just got more money than you know what to do with.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's because I was gonna say put a pool on the pontoon.

[Jared]

Pool tune.

[Miles]

Pretty. It's just pretty.

[Tyler]

Pretty useless.

[Miles]

Pretty dumb. Pretty useless.

[Jared]

I think a hot tub would be better on a pond.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's good. I like that

[Jared]

shower. Maybe clean water. Reverse osmosi.

[Miles]

I'd like some reverse osmosis. Be able to. I'd like to be able to drink lake water.

[Jared]

Chase it with my sniffer of gas.

[Miles]

Yeah. Oh God. That sounds like a good day on the lake. Yeah. I mean if we got unlimited budget, like unlimited beer. But I want every chair to have its own little cooler.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

Nothing's worse than being on the pontoon. I have to walk to the other side of the pontoon to get. Oh, wow.

[Tyler]

You follow?

[Miles]

Now we will lose the camaraderie of throwing another person a beer. So maybe I don't like that.

[Tyler]

You could still do that for funsies. Yeah.

[Miles]

Here's the rule. Everyone's got their own beer cooler. But you can't drink that beer yourself. You have to throw it to someone else. That's my rule on my pontoon.

[Tyler]

You could just make it so each seat has a different kind. So there's a little bit of throwing if you want.

[Miles]

Coming from the guy who's kind of a one stop shop, kind of a one hit wonder.

[Tyler]

You're just not allowed to sit in the bush light seat. So people got to throw you beers.

[Jared]

Might as well sit away from Gasoline sniffers.

[Tyler]

There's enough types of bush light now that you could have a different one for each seat.

[Miles]

That is true.

[Tyler]

You have. You have bush light, Bush, heavies, bapples, peach. Am I missing one? Lime did? Yeah, they did. Bush light, lime.

[Jared]

Those are good.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

It's a lot of seats.

[Miles]

I would like a. I would like a, like. Have you ever seen the videos where people will like swing on a rope and fly into the water? You know, like you see pontoons with slides.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

But I think I'd rather find a system in a way to do a rope swing into the water. Would be kind of fun.

[Tyler]

What about a quick automatic inflatable blob that comes out from the pontoon?

[Miles]

Sure.

[Tyler]

With a platform climb up top and blob.

[Miles]

Yeah. I've never got to experience a blob of you.

[Tyler]

No. But I would really like to. I did a half ass one as kids. We would do it with the air mattress. I put my sisters on one end. It'd be like half full.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Then I would eat them into the living room.

[Miles]

Would it work?

[Tyler]

Yeah, worked great.

[Miles]

Yeah, we should do that.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Sounds awesome.

[Jared]

Do it on a work day.

[Miles]

Yeah. And I think I just would make it so it had wheels on it so you wouldn't even have to bother with the trailer.

[Tyler]

Just drive the trunk.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Like a duck boat.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Jared]

You want. Okay.

[Miles]

A duck boat pontoon though, not tritune.

[Tyler]

Don't be confused with that.

[Miles]

No, I mean, there's got to be a reason that there's tritune. Is it that you can like have? Is it just like we had to invent tritunes because we just are getting fatter as a society. So it's heavier. So it's. I didn't float more.

[Tyler]

I didn't know they existed until today.

[Miles]

Really?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I feel like your dad's like a shoe in for a guy buying a tritone.

[Tyler]

Ah. He's got the oldest shittiest pontoon you've ever seen in your life. Life survive the snakes. Live in it in the summers because it's really warm. So you lift the seat up and there'll be like 40 snakes in there.

[Miles]

Snakes on a boat.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

New movie.

[Tyler]

He doesn't have a dock. We just pull it up on shore. Small.

[Miles]

Stand corrected.

[Tyler]

Yeah, sorry. He has a dock. He doesn't have a lift.

[Jared]

Fun fact. For 67 consecutive years, Mary was America's most popular female baby name. Linda broke the Streak in 1947.

[Miles]

Shouts to Linda's dude, my mother's name is Mary. There you go.

[Tyler]

Big l for her.

[Miles]

67 years.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

For 67 years they were doing Mary. Yep. Mary, Mary. Quite contrary, I think.

[Jared]

And I. I checked. Mary is a biblical name, so I think it is.

[Miles]

It is. I can confirm as well.

[Tyler]

Bible trivia. Surprise.

[Jared]

So I did some research.

[Miles]

There's two. At least two confirmed Mary's in the Bible.

[Tyler]

Who's the other one?

[Miles]

Probably more.

[Tyler]

I know. The big one.

[Miles]

Mary. Well, it's if. Have you ever watched the Da Vinci Code?

[Tyler]

Oh, Mary Magdalene.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of Jesus washes her. Kind of a hot point. Christianity of who was Mary Magdalene?

[Tyler]

He washed her feet. Right. That's confirmed.

[Miles]

I don't know if it was. I don't remember if it was her feet. He definitely washed some feet.

[Tyler]

I'm pretty sure he did.

[Miles]

What kind of a foot guy?

[Jared]

Not. There's nothing wrong with that.

[Miles]

Nothing wrong with that. But yeah. So what was the fun fact?

[Jared]

You have a great library.

[Tyler]

He didn't care about this one.

[Miles]

Oh, Mary.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

This is great.

[Jared]

Linda broke the streak.

[Miles]

Yeah. I actually have an Aunt Linda as well, so we got it fully represented.

[Tyler]

This could be. Who broke the Linda streak, Jared.

[Miles]

I don't know how deep it went. Now it's gonna be, you know. Know what year? 48. 47 was the year. So like 50, like 80 years from now, they'll be like, you know, for six. For 15 years in the 2000s, Kyston was the number one thing until.

[Tyler]

The problem is those goofy names can never be number one because they spell them so true.

[Miles]

Yeah. They'd have to consolidate them being out. Asterisk. Yeah.

[Tyler]

There's like 18 different ways to spell

[Jared]

K. Like Ashley is a bunch of different ones.

[Miles]

And speaking of asterisk, that's probably a name of some kid out there now for sure.

[Jared]

That'd be a sweet name.

[Miles]

Hyphen. Honestly, one sign, comma, comma, is definitely a kid's name now. That's one of the terrible things about the Internet is everyone had to one up each other on uniqueness of names. So then he just got all those names.

[Tyler]

Kids, you remember that the Tick Tock channel, like name things. That would be really cool baby names if they weren't already something. Asterisks is one of those.

[Jared]

Asterisks is sick.

[Tyler]

It would be a good name if it wasn't already a thing.

[Jared]

It's a great point.

[Miles]

Same with Backslash. Great name.

[Tyler]

That's a good wrestler name.

[Jared]

Backslash. First day of back building.

[Miles]

Slash Slash for short. That's sick.

[Jared]

Guns N' Roses. Slash.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And then if you had twin boys, you could do backslash and forward. Slash, forward.

[Tyler]

Hey, forward. Get over here.

[Miles]

Get back here. Trying to think of other. Other cool. You know, you could do you have your. Your three kids can be control, alt, and delete.

[Jared]

They talked about this on cfo, but George thought it'd be great to name this kid Seven. You think seven's a good.

[Miles]

It is a good name. Isn't that a name in Stranger things? No, it's 11.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I don't know.

[Miles]

I've never seen an ounce of Stranger

[Tyler]

Things, but it's very Game of Thrones. Awesome. Final season Official review.

[Miles]

Will. Will we ever get a good final season ever again, though?

[Tyler]

Breaking Bad was the last one.

[Miles]

One. I know, but there was no. They wasn't. When we had what we have now, the Internet.

[Jared]

We had the Internet.

[Miles]

No, I know, but it wasn't. People weren't chronically online back then.

[Jared]

That's true.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I think a great way to ruin a great show is to go on the Internet and read about it.

[Miles]

I would agree.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah, man. I think that's just like kind of a good. Like, if you think your life's going good, don't go on the Internet.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You're gonna find out how far behind you are. Touch grass.

[Tyler]

Well, I didn't like it before. I read everybody reviews.

[Miles]

What?

[Tyler]

Okay, Stranger Things.

[Miles]

Got it.

[Tyler]

I usually stick to the opinion I have that I share with my wife immediately after finishing something.

[Jared]

But the Internet has influenced my opinion on things.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Namely what?

[Jared]

Just shows. I think I was at Apple Show. God, I don't remember that. I was watching the Apple show and people were on it, but then that influenced my opinion on it.

[Tyler]

What the. The Internet really influences me on things. The Vikings do, like, stuff that's like high level office things. I'll be like, that seems pretty sweet to me. And then the Internet will be like, that's the dumbest move I've ever seen a head office ever make. I'm like, what's wrong with it? I'll read the comments. Like, yeah, that was a stupid ass signing. What the. Get Kwesi out of there.

[Jared]

Yeah, exactly.

[Miles]

Oh, is that it, Jared? Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of You Bet you Radio. Have a great week. We'll see you in the next one. We didn't get a. We're done.

[Jared]

Oh, completely forgot. I'm a little rusty.

[Miles]

Bring it in.

[Charlie]

We're done.

[Miles]

Oh, you betcha.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Reckless Cage just got a job off. Offered to be a laborer doing residential remodels. I'm a shop welder by trade. What advice can I get to make an easy. For an easier start?

[Miles]

It's a new job in the trades is what he's saying.

[Tyler]

Yep,

[Jared]

he's a shop welder by trade.

[Ryan]

You guys just answer questions on this. Is that the. Oh, I knew that. Yeah, I'm a subscriber. Yeah, he's got a new job, I think.

[Tyler]

Just.

[Ryan]

I always think anytime I start a new job, just go in and that's a good start. Just. Just go in, show up, do good work, don't get greedy. That's it.

[Miles]

No, you.

[Ryan]

No, I think it really. When you start a new job, you want to prove yourself. You want to prove yourself. So you're anxious to prove yourself and you're not listening. You know, you're just like. You're looking for things you can do while someone's telling you what. What would actually be helpful if you

[Miles]

did, you know, just listen is what you're saying.

[Ryan]

Just be in the moment. Listen. Some I have a hard time with some days. Other days better, you know, like, Miles, if I just listen to you. When I started doing this podcast,

[Miles]

I

[Ryan]

wouldn't have missed so many jokes, you know?

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad you're finally coming around to that.

[Ryan]

See, but it took me a long time because I was trying to prove myself, you know, I didn't need to do that.

[Miles]

I think another good move. You know, if you go to a birthday party, they sometimes have party favors. I think you could also bring some. Some work favors to the job site. So at the end. At the end of your first workday, hand them out to the other guys and.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's a good.

[Miles]

Really, by good faith. Kazoos, Chinese finger traps. Chinese finger traps. Yo yos, Stickers, tattoos, a little bottle of Jergens, you know, maybe a shooter for the road. Oh, there you go.

[Ryan]

Shooters would be a good one.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You know, maybe that could get you in the good graces with the guys.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's always like, anytime you're working a job and there is a new guy that comes along, you just. You don't have time for new friends. You're not. You're automatically not going to be sure about this guy, you know, but then just by. By starfishing them, you know, you figure it out.

[Miles]

How does one starfish their co worker?

[Jared]

Does that mean you shit where you eat?

[Ryan]

No.

[Miles]

Well, the starfish that I know is if it's just someone who's not very active in Bed.

[Ryan]

No, that's a different scenario. Starfish. What it does mouth.

[Miles]

You just lay there like a starfish. You know, starfish.

[Ryan]

If it's hungry.

[Miles]

Miles.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You want him to just lay down on the job?

[Ryan]

No, a starfish, when it's. When it's eating a. A crustacean on the ocean floor. Do you know how it does that? It just goes right over it and just hangs there and is one with the ocean. And eventually that little clam is going to stick its tongue out.

[Miles]

Out.

[Ryan]

And if you try cracking a clam with its tongue not sticked out. The.

[Miles]

Stuck out.

[Tyler]

The.

[Ryan]

The physics of it is impossible. It's a structural engineering miracle of God. But as soon as he sticks his tongue out, that compromises his structural integrity. No more footers. Eat it. That's how they get their prey. So when you starfish your job,

[Miles]

you're just there, you just show up and stick your tongue out?

[Ryan]

Well, no, you're the starfish. You're not the clam. You're just one with the ocean. One with the ocean. Then the guys. The guys, eventually they'll be comfortable with you around, and then one of them will stick their tongue out. You get that joke in?

[Charlie]

Got them.

[Miles]

Got it.

[Ryan]

Now you're in.

[Miles]

Lessons in. Shut up, do your work, and be patient for the right moment.

[Charlie]

There you go.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Starfish them. Not a great analogy, but it's what I went with.

[Jared]

Two fun facts. It takes roughly 540 peanuts to make a jar of peanut butter.

[Miles]

What. What size jar? You think?

[Jared]

I never see that.

[Ryan]

This is. This is a terrible question. Because the size of the jar very much so matters.

[Miles]

It's not a question. It's a fun fact. Fact. What was what? What? What do you think the question is?

[Jared]

You're right. It is a terrible question.

[Ryan]

It's a terrible fact. It's not giving us enough. What's the next one?

[Miles]

Let's see.

[Ryan]

Did they learn the lesson?

[Miles]

D. It's not just me being a. We do a fun fact after every single episode. And I'm constantly asking him questions. He doesn't do any extra research, so he never can give me the answers that I want. On. And here we are.

[Ryan]

Jared, why don't you listen to Miles? I have words I never thought I'd come out of my mouth. What's the next fun fact? We'll see how fun this is.

[Jared]

You were so mean, right?

[Miles]

I mean, Charlie's gonna put five bucks in a mean jar at the end. Why am I being mean?

[Tyler]

Am I being mean to him?

[Miles]

You're just. You're.

[Tyler]

You're.

[Miles]

He. He does this when he doesn't want to be on the podcast anymore.

[Tyler]

What do you mean?

[Miles]

What do you mean?

[Ryan]

Now. Now we gotta.

[Charlie]

This.

[Ryan]

I'm having a great time on the podcast. I'm just. My. My boxers are riding up a little bit.

[Miles]

It's a safe space. You can do one of these. Hey, we need to do a. We need to do a boxer adjustment break in the middle of the episode. Starting right now, you need to have a bell go off and everyone can get up and adjust. And if you're listening to this at home, you do the same.

[Jared]

That's good. So that's why they do peace be with you at church,

[Miles]

Dude.

[Ryan]

That's probably very true.

[Miles]

That needs to go in your stand up.

[Ryan]

I can't steal Jared's joke. Well, I was being mean to you. I got to give you something.

[Miles]

Listen, did you get them? Do you get the boys loosened up?

[Ryan]

I got them. I stuck my whole hand in there.

[Miles]

Guys, if you want more, you bet your radio you gotta check out our Patreon. You gotta go to patreon.com you bets radio or look us up on the app. And we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you got to check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.