Things Our Wives Do That Make us Say "Hell Yeah" 🎙 #373

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Things Our Wives Do That Make Us Say 'Hell Yeah'"

You Betcha Radio #373 – April 15, 2026

Episode Overview

In this classic, comedic, and deeply Midwestern episode, Myles the You Betcha Guy, Jordan, Tyler, and Jared dig into the quirks and joys of married life, especially those little things wives do that make husbands say “Hell yeah!” The banter covers everything from household chores, Midwest parenting mishaps, favorite non-sexual acts of spousal kindness, to a raucous “Categories” game and bathroom-life hacks. The gang sprinkles the episode with stories about neighborhood etiquette, kids pooping in the woods, inside-out laundry, bulk-buying deodorant, and the sacred role of the shop vac—all with that signature You Betcha blend of nostalgia, sarcasm, and relatable Midwest humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Medical "Flu Game" and Midwest Small Talk

00:00–04:00

• Jordan opens by admitting he’s powering through the episode high on “medical Sudafed”—comparing his performance to an athlete’s “flu game.” The crew jokes about over-the-counter meds, ID checks for Sudafed, and the shared agony of persistent colds.

Quote:

"I feel like I am both the car racing and the ghost today." — Jordan (00:23)

• Classic Midwest “dad talk” about caring for your yard, fixing up the house, spotting every issue moments before company visits, and comparing notes on home improvement.

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Neighborhood House Shame & Parenting Outdoors

04:01–14:30

• The group describes the universal panic of noticing every home and yard flaw when neighbors come over.
• Tales of half-finished projects, rabbit-ravaged bushes, leaning AC units, and sinking patio steps pepper the chat.
• Anecdotes shift to entertaining kids outdoors and hilarious misadventures—like a child falling into their own poop during a family walk in the woods (12:14).

Quote:

"He had fallen off the backside of his own shit into his own shit. It is all over both cheeks and up his back and on his shirt." — Miles (12:55)

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The Joy of Spousal Kindness: "Hell Yeah" Moments

18:17–23:00

• Jared introduces the central segment: “Things our wives do that make us say hell yeah.”
• The crew shares non-sexual moments when their wives surprise and delight them:
  • Stocking up on Diet Coke without being asked (18:28)
  • Suggesting impromptu ice cream runs or showing up with Blizzards (18:46)
  • Baking treats for no reason (19:54)
  • Head, back, or scalp scratches (19:18)
  • Breaking down their own Amazon boxes or completely cleaning the garage (20:26)
  • Making the bed—for those averse to bed-making (22:17)
  • Scheduling appointments or handling bills (34:37)

Quote:

"When my wife makes the bed... It’s nice to get into a made bed, but I’m never gonna make the thing." — Miles (22:17)

Memorable Moment:

Jordan recalls his wife surprising him with a new, high-quality leather shaving kit—“a huge weight off my shoulders; I never have to buy one of those again.” (37:07)

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Midwest Men: Trained by Their Wives

23:01–30:00

• The guys lovingly list all the small behaviors their wives have “trained” them into:
  • Taking smaller bites
  • Chewing with mouths closed
  • Scrubbing the shower/tile, wiping condensation, rinsing toothpaste
  • Keeping nightstands clean
• Good-natured jokes about double standards and conceding that sometimes they “give up” on changing their spouse.

Quote:

"Dude, you know what’s crazy? I might be the wife." — Jordan (23:47)

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Laundry Fails & Bathroom Life Hacks

28:28–32:33

• Riffing on the struggle to get spouses/kids to use hampers and hang clothes right-side out.
• The group exchanges “bathroom hacks”: squeezing every last drop of toothpaste, diluting shampoo bottles, and scraping deodorant remains (27:04–28:19).
• Lamentations about running out of bulk toiletries, using spouse’s deodorant in desperation, and facing mountains of inside-out laundry.

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Tube City, Shop Vacs, and Midwest Innovation

32:00–44:33

• Pitch for a hypothetical “Tube City” pneumatic system to handle laundry and goods—if only life were so simple!
• Joyous awe at the power and utility of the shop vac:
  • Sucking up wood chips, water, even “mining gold” (i.e., lost change or small treasures).
  • Brainstorming a spoof shop vac ad campaign: “This thing sucks!” (42:00–44:07)

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“Categories” Game (Scattergories-style)

46:17–64:00

• Hilarious, rapid-fire game with Midwest and man-cave flavor—the crew matches wits on topics like:
  • Things that smell bad
  • Types of cheese
  • Things in a junk drawer
  • Things NOT to say at a funeral (52:39: “Smells like death in here.”)
  • Athletes who took steroids
  • Movies from the ’90s
  • Things you say on a road trip
  • Things that shouldn’t be sticky (“Shorts!” – 59:16)
  • Porn stars (leading to much blushing and laughter)
• Good-natured arguing over rules, stalling, and Midwest dad logic.

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Midwest Ethics: Is Tossing a Banana Peel Littering?

64:53–67:39

• Listener dilemma: Is tossing a banana peel in a city drain littering?
• The crew votes it’s technically littering, but “not an asshole move.”
• Fun sidetrack about whether tossing apple cores, sunflower seeds, or other biodegradable items out a car window counts as littering.

Quote:

"So by definition... sunflower seeds are no bueno." — Miles (67:18)

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Postpartum Dinner Bit & Midwest Male Comedy

68:13–69:45

• Reader asks if he’s a jerk for asking his wife “what’s for dinner” an hour after arriving home with a newborn.
  • The guys agree: if it’s a bit, it’s funny; if serious, “you’re a piece of…”
  • Banter about classic dad jokes and “supper maxing.”

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Random Midwest Facts and Local Team Names

71:04–77:13

• Trivia: Celtics and Knicks have never relocated or rebranded—leads to a discussion about “on-the-nose” Midwest team names and what Vegas should name their teams.
• Ongoing jokes and mock brainstorming for better team names (Las Vegas Dealers, Blackjacks, Hustlers).

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Timestamps: Notable Segments

• Medical Sudafed/Flu Game: 00:00–04:00
• Home improvement & Parental Panic: 04:00–14:00
• Kid falls into his own poop (Classic Midwest Dad Story): 12:14–14:57
• "Hell Yeah" – Wives’ Unsung Hero Moments: 18:17–23:00
• Being Trained By Wives: 23:08–30:00
• Bathroom & Laundry Hacks: 27:04–32:33
• The Power and Wonder of Shop Vacs: 40:54–44:33
• Categories Game (comedy highlight): 46:17–64:00
  • “Things You Shouldn’t Say at a Funeral”: 52:31
  • “Things You Say on a Road Trip” (classic Midwest dad banter): 56:01–58:32
• Littering Banana Peels and Biodegradable Debates: 64:53–67:39

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Notable Quotes

• “When my wife makes the bed, it’s like, it’s nice to get into a made bed, but I’m never gonna make the thing.” — Miles (22:17)
• "He had fallen off the backside of his own shit into his own shit.” — Miles (12:55)
• “Hell yeah. I do like sourdough.” — Miles (20:21)
• “Dude, you know what’s crazy? I might be the wife.” — Jordan (23:47)
• “I like this. I like to suck in my garage. I like to. To suck in the bathroom.” — Jordan, on the Shop Vac (42:35)
• “If it is [serious], you’re a piece of…” — Miles (69:01), on asking for dinner after bringing home a newborn

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Tone & Style

• Language: Down-to-earth, Midwestern, occasionally irreverent, full of dad jokes and self-deprecation.
• Delivery: Fast-paced, interactive banter, with comic timing and familiar rapport.
• Purpose: To celebrate the unsung, everyman joys (and irritations) of married, Midwestern dad life—with plenty of laughs, practical hacks, and a touch of competition.

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If You Only Remember Five Things...

• Midwest dads find deep joy in the little, non-sexual acts of love from their wives: food surprises, chores done, reminders, and the rare “go have fun” free pass.
• The eternal struggle to keep a house (and laundry) presentable, especially when company comes over.
• Parenting is messy and filled with laugh-out-loud disasters—sometimes literally!
• Shop Vacs are the unsung heroes of the household, able to “suck” up almost anything (and inspire ridiculous infomercial ideas).
• The best Midwest humor: celebrate your shortcomings, appreciate family quirks, and never turn down a bake sale surprise or a clean garage.

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For more classic Midwestern banter, inside jokes, and a deeper dive into the delightfully mundane, check out the bonus Patreon episodes referenced throughout the show!

Transcript

[Jordan]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the you betcha radio podcast. The boys are back. And it is amazing that I'm even here today. I am. I've ingested a lot of drugs in terms of medical use. Nice medical usage drugs be here today.

[Miles]

Miles got his medical Sudafed card. Yeah.

[Jordan]

I feel like, you know how, like, when, like, they'll. They'll show like, he's down bad dude, you know, like in the interview, like, let's say you're watching like, a NASCAR qualifying lap, you know, and they do like the ghost thing where it's like the guy driving and then the guy who's got the fastest lap and they compare them. I feel like I am both the car racing and the ghost today. That's kind of how my life feels. I feel like there's two of me. There's like a. Just a little shadow around me all day.

[Jared]

You don't feel like the turn it up segment of nascar.

[Jordan]

Crank it up. Crank it up is awesome. And I know they just do it so the announcers can go take a piss, but it's awesome.

[Jared]

It does rock.

[Jordan]

My. And my kid loves cars, and so I don't remember what Sunday that was, but we. Me and. Me and my kid just sat on the couch and watched NASCAR for like an hour, and my wife came home. Is like, what is going on? Like, he loves it. This is great.

[Miles]

Yeah. Motorsports are a cheat code for watching TV with your kids. We've been watching F1. The. The. What is it? Drive to Survive. Season eight just came out, so we've been watching that, and the kids are locked in on that.

[Jordan]

Let's go. Let's go.

[Miles]

And it's way more fun than watching cars for the 400th time. Yeah.

[Jordan]

Re IRL cars is what.

[Tyler]

My kids watch cars, too. The last 18 weekends.

[Miles]

Get them on three at least.

[Tyler]

I can't.

[Miles]

Gator.

[Jordan]

It sucks.

[Miles]

We're how we always find our way back to cars one way or another.

[Jordan]

That's true. So. Yeah, but this is Jordan flu game performance for me. Blocked punt Miles so bad that yesterday when I messaged. I messaged the boys that I don't know if I'm gonna be in tomorrow.

[Miles]

No.

[Jordan]

But I got. I got that Sudafed in me. You know that stuff you gotta buy behind the counter?

[Miles]

That.

[Jordan]

That Breaking Bad. You know what I'm talking about?

[Jared]

Jared, do you need a prescription for Sudafen?

[Jordan]

No, but you got to show your ID because people will buy it in bulk and make meth with it.

[Miles]

Yeah, they'll Steal it.

[Jordan]

Yeah, that's how, what's his name?

[Miles]

Mailbox?

[Jordan]

Jesse. No, that's how Jesse Pinkman was making meth originally until Walter White was like, no, no, no. We're gonna get this giant barrel of. Just hammer it out.

[Tyler]

How, how long does it like, what's the wear off time for?

[Jordan]

12 hours.

[Tyler]

Oh, that's not bad.

[Miles]

That's some strong ass. Yeah.

[Jordan]

So, yeah, guys, I don't got, I got like three out good hours left in me here and then I'm down.

[Miles]

Miles has got to be out of here in 10 minutes.

[Jordan]

This is like, I feel a little bit like the NFL players that are just like shooting up with stuff before the game just to get through. And what does it feel like after

[Miles]

cortisol or whatever it is?

[Jordan]

Yeah, it's all of it.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I was taking Friday, I started taking Tylenol. PM or no. Yeah, Tylenol Extra strength. Cold and severe cold and flu.

[Miles]

Nice.

[Tyler]

Didn't do a thing.

[Jordan]

Oh, oh, gotta get that Sudafed.

[Tyler]

I know, I know. And I'm like, okay, maybe the second time just, you know, first time kind of just breaks your body in a little bit. Second, no, nothing. Third, not nothing.

[Jordan]

Be prepared to show that ID though.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I've had to get Mucinex. I had to get Mucinex over the counter before I had to be, you know, you show your ID and whatnot.

[Miles]

Does it feel good to get ID make you feel young again?

[Jordan]

And, and went and got it for me.

[Miles]

I was down in bed.

[Tyler]

Just give me the.

[Jordan]

Yeah, come on. But we're here and I, so I had took my suit of fat. It was feeling pretty good. We, and then it got really nice outside yesterday. So my, me and kid and the wife were running around outside and the neighbor kid showed up, wanted to play. So we were talking to the neighbors and I realized that you don't notice all the, that you got to do to your house until someone else comes over and you're kind of just standing there looking at it. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Why is that? I, I, it's not like you're not in the conversation, so you're not like distracted from what the neighbor's talking about. But it's like, what, why, why is that the time?

[Jordan]

It's just like you suddenly become aware of all of your shortcomings.

[Miles]

Yeah. Like you, for some reason, you just put yourself in their shoes and you just notice all the bad stuff. Like this is what they're going to see, isn't it?

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's what you think they're Going to.

[Jordan]

Standing in a part of the yard I don't normally stand in. So like when the kids are running down, we're. Now I'm looking from a different angle. Sure.

[Miles]

The grass isn't greener in your own part of the yard.

[Jordan]

Remember when you helped me put my. Those stone. The stepping stones up to my patio in. We're gonna have to redo it.

[Miles]

Oh, no. They sink.

[Jordan]

They stay. The ground settled and so now there's like an extra 3, 4 inch gap. So now instead of being an 8 inch step, it's like at least a 12 inch step, which is a bitch.

[Tyler]

We could just put like. We could get a really thin piece and just put it right on top.

[Jordan]

Yeah. We could just do another. Another step.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Kind of like get some grout. Some fucking. Yeah.

[Jordan]

But the steps are only.

[Miles]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Jordan]

We're at the figure out. But I was looking at that today. It looks terrible for yesterday. I mean then you know, you're like, oh, wow. Looks like the rabbits ate all of our bushes over the winter.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

And then you have to explain, you know, that you're another part of your house. The. The ground settled and now my. My AC unit's cockeyed. Yeah. It's a whole mess. Dead trees that I gotta replace. It's just like.

[Miles]

That's why you just don't let anyone ever come over. They have to fix all that.

[Jordan]

Yep. Stop right there. Get out of my yard

[Miles]

for me. The. The noticing comes about an hour before people arrive.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

All of a sudden I'm like, oh, if you.

[Jordan]

If you have that luxury, then you just go into band aid mode.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Jordan]

Mm. What can I put in front of it?

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Fucking green spray paint. Start spraying. Spray painting the bare spots in the yard.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

How.

[Jordan]

How can I. Can I set up the table and chairs so they don't walk down these steps. They go to the other.

[Miles]

Yeah. That aren't fucked up like last. Last birthday party we had at our house for one of our kids. I'm like, oh shit. I remember the coat hanger the kids ripped out of the wall that I said I was going to re. Hang up for the last three months. Better get that up 20 minutes before people show up.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Better get that lamp out of the corner. That has a broke from my kids.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That's been sitting there forever.

[Jordan]

My dad one time we were having people out to a lake and this is back when we had a wooden dock. We've since upgraded to an aluminum dock.

[Jared]

Oh, wow.

[Jordan]

But the boards were questionable so my dad, before everyone showed up, just went out there and spray painted the boards that were questionable bright orange.

[Miles]

Don't step on these.

[Jordan]

Don't step on these. Signal. So that was a really classy look for. For us.

[Tyler]

Respect, though.

[Miles]

Smart. It's like, that's. You can't put cones on a dock. That's lame.

[Tyler]

You could have just left them too. You know, someone get in, gets injured, and then.

[Miles]

But then you blame it on them. Like, you broke my dock.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Where's.

[Miles]

I'm gonna need a new one now.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Yeah. How many. How many scotcheroos did you have? Jesus Christ.

[Miles]

Come on, man.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Didn't you read the weight capacity sign before you walked on this thing?

[Jordan]

That would be.

[Tyler]

It's £160.

[Miles]

I was watching you jump on it.

[Jordan]

Must be this skinny to walk.

[Miles]

He just put two pillars at the end of the dock and if they can't fit between them, they're not allowed on.

[Jordan]

God, I like that.

[Tyler]

I usually notice this all the time, actually. Like every single day I look out into the yard or in my garage, I'm like, wow, what am I doing? When am I gonna take care of this? So it's always top of mind for me. It does intensify when people are about to come over. My wife's good at pointing out that's gotta be done right before people come over. And like, I know it needs to be done, but, you know, feel on the fire type deal.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You and your wife are flipped with me. Like, my wife recognizes this stuff all the time and will point it out to me. I don't recognize it until it's time to go.

[Jordan]

I'm. I'm king of doing the easiest stuff first.

[Miles]

Checking shit off.

[Jordan]

Like, we have some up lighting on some trees in our landscaping, and the trees have since grown since we initially installed it. And so one of my projects I did when it got warm enough out was I just took my screwdriver around and I just loosened up the light and then readjusted it and tightened it back up.

[Jared]

Smart.

[Miles]

What.

[Tyler]

What were you supposed to do?

[Jordan]

What do you mean?

[Tyler]

Or like, what's.

[Jordan]

I just. All the. The sure steps. Trees, the whatever.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

But it's like I get that same sense of accomplishment that I'm helping, but it was literally like an 8 year old could have done.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

And it's like it shines on the trees.

[Jordan]

Yeah, it shines up on the trees.

[Jared]

And this is like during the day.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I was just going to say.

[Jordan]

Well, then it was. I had a Project for the evening and, like, oh, I got to go make sure the lights all are where it should be.

[Miles]

You just lap around your house? Yep. Looks good.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Another one off the list.

[Jared]

Feels good to check.

[Tyler]

I get jacked about how much stuff I'm gonna be able to get done during nap time, and then I. I just end up if I sit down, I'm so screwed. Yeah, sit down. Okay. Well, two hours went by in about 10 minutes, so better go get the gremlins up.

[Miles]

Y. I bl. I'd clean the gutters during nap time yesterday. That was nice to get off the list. Well, they're pretty dirty.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And like, my kitchen window, I can see the lower part of my house, the gutter. And so every time I do dishes, I stare at that gutter and it just needles at me.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's one thing I do too, actually. And I have a ladder to do it. It's just tucked back in the shed. Yeah, it's gonna take me 30 minutes to get to the ladder.

[Miles]

Oh, no.

[Tyler]

So I need at least a good hour and a half if I want to clean the gutters.

[Jordan]

See, my kid likes doing stuff with me in the yard. Like, he just wants to walk around and do stuff.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

So I actually, when he's napping, I'll do stuff that I want to do, like, in the house.

[Miles]

Nice. Sure.

[Jordan]

Watch a show.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. Do a face mask.

[Jordan]

Yeah, do a face mask.

[Jared]

Play Red Dead.

[Jordan]

Play Red Dead.

[Miles]

That type of catch up on your soaps.

[Jordan]

So you don't like it when your wife tells you, hey, you gotta do this right before company.

[Tyler]

No, I don't mind it because I got. I have a laundry list of stuff in my head that's gotta be done. And she's, you know, she's good at reminding me of stuff that I probably would have forgotten to do, but it just kind of. My anxiety just naturally spikes again.

[Jordan]

So you would categorize that under the. When your wife says, you gotta fix

[Miles]

this, you say,

[Jordan]

Yeah, where's that from again?

[Jared]

I think you have a bit with. And they pretend to go to the bathroom. Like.

[Jordan]

Oh, yeah. Every time I got a. No matter. Sometimes it's real, sometimes it's fake. But I always act like. Like is about to run down my leg.

[Jared]

It's gonna hit the fan.

[Jordan]

I'm gonna.

[Tyler]

I'm gonna.

[Jordan]

Oh, oh, oh, oh. As I'm going to the bathroom, I'm gonna get.

[Tyler]

I'm gonna get my. I'm gonna get my kid on that.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

If I do it one time, he'll do it every time. That's all I gotta do.

[Miles]

And then he's gonna bring that to school.

[Jordan]

Oh, yeah, yeah. The key is to never finish your sentence. So it's always like, oh, oh my. Oh, oh my, oh my, oh, I'm gonna. You just keep doing that all the way into the bathroom. It's extra funny if you can clench your butt cheeks and do the little weird walk when you're going skip a little. And the only reason why I do it is so I get the reaction of her being like, that's disgusting. You know,

[Miles]

yesterday I took the kids on a walk in the woods, just me and the two older boys looking for sheds and just goofing off. And we're like half a mile deep in the woods. And my middle son, who's four, he's a dad. I have to poop. Yeah. I'm like, buddy, you're going to have to hold it till we get back to the house. He's like, dad, I cannot hold it. I was like, okay, you don't have a pull up on, right? He's like, nope. So we did the old. Found a fallen log. Lean the. Lean his ass over the log so he could. In the woods. I'm like, you do your thing, buddy. Me and your brother are gonna go find you some big leaves to wipe with. And I turn around and he had fallen off the backside of his own shit into his own shit.

[Jordan]

Oh, my God, Tyler. What?

[Miles]

It is all over both cheeks and up his back and on his shirt. And we're. I'm not, I'm not exaggerating when I say we're a half a mile into the woods. And so I was like, bud, you gotta, I. You gotta take off your shirt. You can't walk around with shitty shirt. So I took off a shirt, used it to wipe off the rest of the. So then he had to walk through the. A half a mile through the woods, shirtless and shitty and. Yeah, that was, that was my afternoon yesterday.

[Tyler]

That's what living in the country is all about, though.

[Miles]

And none of that would have happened if he'd have just went and just handled his own business.

[Jordan]

Yeah, you gotta maybe try the lean up against a tree and do like the, the wall sit maneuver.

[Miles]

Maybe we started that, but then he like, was too straight up and down, so he was just gonna. On his pants that were at his ankles.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Have you ever done a squat before?

[Miles]

Like you just like, like you just sit there and you squat.

[Tyler]

No, it's like, like your legs are closer Together, but then you, like, lean back. People do them with, like, bands behind their legs so you can lean, like, way back. You don't have to, like. I don't, like, hold on to him and have him squat down so it's not going to get on his shoes or his pants.

[Jordan]

Yeah, there you go. Next time he's on log, you gotta have the other brother stand there and hold his hands. It doesn't fall backwards. Yeah.

[Miles]

So you would have got. Just gotten pushed in it then. Yeah, but I thought he'd be fine because the log was only a foot off the ground. It was actually the perfect height.

[Tyler]

Well, he got too comfy.

[Miles]

Yeah, he was around Instagram, got distracted. He was just thinking it was funny.

[Jordan]

He's.

[Miles]

He's a total Dylan. Gonna be a class clown. Gonna get D pluses and C's in school just to get laughs. And so I'm sure he was just goofing off on it while I was trying to find him leaves. And he fell on his own for sure.

[Tyler]

Did his brother yet.

[Miles]

He thought it. Yeah, he thought it was the funniest fucking thing in the world, that he was covered in his own.

[Tyler]

Oh, well, I mean, that's fine then.

[Jared]

It is pretty funny.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Okay, so they say that a way that, you know, if you are attached to an item in your life, as if you get shit on it.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Do you. Do you wash it or do you throw it away? What. What was the fate of the shirt?

[Miles]

We washed it because it was his favorite Batman shirt. You nailed it on that. It was. Or was it you that said it was probably his favorite shirt? Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You nailed it. It was his favorite shirt. So it got put in. I put it in the pocket of his pants because I wasn't carrying his shitty shirt out of the woods.

[Jordan]

So are you guys, like. You're washing that by itself, right? Yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

It got sprayed off with the hose before it even made it into the house.

[Jordan]

Nice.

[Tyler]

You're supposed to wash them with whites

[Miles]

to get the shits.

[Jordan]

Everything's got a brown hue.

[Miles]

Everything's. Yeah, just like if you put a

[Tyler]

color catcher in there.

[Miles]

And he was.

[Tyler]

I forgot about color sea catches.

[Miles]

He was all hopped up on Easter candy because we did Easter at my grandma's that morning, so it was, like, green, too.

[Jordan]

Oh, my God. It's entirely too much.

[Miles]

I know, I know, but it's like. God damn it, dude. It was just worst possible timing.

[Jordan]

What did your oldest kid say?

[Miles]

He just made fun of him the whole way.

[Tyler]

He probably pushed him over when you weren't looking.

[Miles]

I would have. I absolutely would have thought the same thing if he wasn't with me helping me try to find big leaves.

[Tyler]

Yeah, well, now I think you just need to. You need to use your woodworking skills, construct some sort of pot out of wood stump out there or something.

[Miles]

Cinder block in a pinch.

[Jordan]

Yeah, clearly do an outhouse somewhere out there.

[Miles]

Yep. Yep.

[Jordan]

If it happens once, it's gonna happen again.

[Miles]

Yep. Well, yeah, the thing is, he thinks it's funny. He's gonna do it on purpose. Next time he's gonna hold it until we're in the woods.

[Jordan]

But even for you, wouldn't that be nice if you're like, hey, I feel something brewing. I'm gonna go take a walk. You take a half mile walk into the woods. Take in nature.

[Miles]

Dude, that would be way more peaceful.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's like when a dog poo. When a dog poops in the house, when they're a puppy, people say, like, you're supposed to rub their face in it or something.

[Miles]

She said, I should have rubbed his face.

[Tyler]

Well, no, what. What you're saying. He. He thought it was funny. So he's gonna do it again. It's like you might. I don't know what you got to resort to to give him.

[Jordan]

Not do that, but take pictures of them and then show them to his buddies when they come over. Say, hey, this is your friend. If you want to hang out with him.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Or the first girl he brings over in 10 years.

[Jordan]

Ye.

[Miles]

Do it.

[Tyler]

Put it on the fridge.

[Jordan]

Do that again. Someday your prom date's gonna know about you being the. The guy.

[Miles]

Yeah, I. I have a funny video of him play. By playing it for me, I just like, hey, what happened? And he's like, just tell us the whole story. And he's proud as a peacock out there.

[Jordan]

Yeah, good luck with that one. Yeah, good luck with that one.

[Miles]

And he hits me. That was like, don't touch your face. At the end of the video, he goes, okay, buddy?

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah.

[Jordan]

Almost hit you with the okay, chief.

[Miles]

Yeah. Oh, man.

[Jordan]

Oh, God. If my K. Cheese. Sir, yes, sir. Well, thanks for sharing, Tyler.

[Miles]

You're welcome.

[Jordan]

What do you got for us today, Jared?

[Jared]

Things are why? Wife things. Our wife does that make us say hell yeah?

[Jordan]

They're kind of like sexy. Your wife say, you say, oh, some stuff you would say, hell yeah.

[Tyler]

To some off some I'd say, hell yeah. Two is if I know we're getting low on diet Coke, but I just forgot to say something, which always happens. Could show up the next day, whole new case, dude.

[Miles]

She stocks them up. Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

Fridge cigs galore.

[Jordan]

So my wife does that makes me say, hell yeah. That's non sexual. Is when we're driving somewhere and she's just like, you want to get ice cream?

[Miles]

Yeah. You want to get a snickerdoodle blizzard quick?

[Jordan]

Yeah, hell yeah. Or like, was my dad's birthday, so we got him an ice cream cake and she came out with a blizzard as well for us to share. And I was like, hell yeah. Hell yeah. That's.

[Miles]

I think this is an obvious one, but any sort of scratches, head scratches, back scratches, that's a hell yeah.

[Tyler]

Every time, keep going, whatever. Scratches.

[Miles]

No. Non sexual, right? Non sexual.

[Jordan]

Non sexual.

[Tyler]

Well, I mean, why does it, why does it. Yeah.

[Miles]

Because I can't say when my wife. Ss my d. Hell yeah.

[Jordan]

Hey, it's a non sexual.

[Tyler]

So

[Jordan]

yeah. I think, you know, you get a text from your wife, say, we're having tacos tonight.

[Miles]

Hell yeah.

[Jordan]

For me, it's a lot of food related stuff.

[Miles]

When she bakes something for no reason. Like it's not a holiday, it's not a birthday. Just you come home and there's banana bread for some reason or cookies for some reason.

[Jordan]

And then you're like, like you have to do the token. But I thought we were eating good this week. And then. But inside you're just like, yeah, hell yeah. That's going. Would you have to say that I'm

[Miles]

gonna have seven cookies instead of supper tonight?

[Tyler]

She pulls that fresh loaf of sourdough out of the oven.

[Miles]

Hell yeah. I do like sourdough

[Tyler]

something I can say, hell yeah. Too non sexual. My wife does breaking down her own Amazon boxes.

[Miles]

Hell yeah.

[Jordan]

I like that.

[Jared]

You see you struggle with Amazon boxes.

[Miles]

Don't, don't. This is a positive segment, Jared.

[Tyler]

Well, that leads. Yeah. And that leads into something else we talked about earlier. I. I'm not going to bring it up because I don't want to get worked up about it.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Delivery driver. We're not going to get very passionate. So. Yeah.

[Miles]

Things that.

[Tyler]

Other things I say. Oh, I got a good one. One thing I said, hell yeah. To wash. My wife was home the other afternoon. I'm not sure why she took work off, but I came home and the entire garage, like where she parks, in the garage, there's a five gallon bucket full of gravel spread out. She swept the whole thing up.

[Miles]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Tyler]

Hell yeah.

[Jordan]

But also, you know, see kind of your territory.

[Miles]

That was.

[Jared]

That was.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

No, I'M fine.

[Miles]

I was supposed to. Me, I me my escape the family project later.

[Jordan]

We actually were hanging out in the garage yesterday and my wife was like, oh, I'm gonna sweep. And it. Was it like from the snow or the rain? Like, the. The floor of the garage was still wet. I was like, not sweep when it's still wet.

[Miles]

It's gonna be nasty.

[Jordan]

It's just gonna spread all the mud around. The broom's gonna get gross. Just wait till it dries and then we can sweep it out. It'll be much better. She couldn't fathom why that mattered. Trust me. Just please, please, please.

[Tyler]

Do you got a floor squeegee?

[Jordan]

I don't. I gotta get one.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So if it's wet and I. And there's a lot, like, I'll actually, I kind of prefer to sweep with the squeegee because then it doesn't get all dusty.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's true.

[Jordan]

It's true. My dad had one.

[Tyler]

Yeah, they're nice.

[Jordan]

What else?

[Miles]

This one might be a weird one because it's just something that I never do, but when my wife makes the bed, it's like, it's nice to get into a maid bed, but I'm never gonna make the thing.

[Tyler]

Really?

[Miles]

Yeah, I just. I think it's. I don't know, I just. Is like, I'm gonna just mess up the bed again. I'm not gonna do it now. I'll like, throw the blanket over, but I'm not like, making it nice.

[Jordan]

My wife has never once made the bed.

[Miles]

Yeah, I'm kind of with her.

[Jordan]

I don't ever make her had her bed made.

[Jared]

Ever. And they're a motivational book about that. Make her better.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

There's a motivational speech. Like some general yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it. Was that like a graduation or something. My wife trained me early on. This is probably 10, 10 plus years ago.

[Jordan]

That's actually a great segment that we could do things that your wife trained you in.

[Tyler]

Oh, dude. Yeah. I mean, I could. You want me to keep going?

[Jordan]

Yeah. What did your wife train you in? Got so bad.

[Tyler]

Taking smaller bites. Chewing with my mout closed. Not slurping any sort of noodle.

[Miles]

Breathing quieter.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Scrubbing down the tile in the shower. Wiping down the windows if there's like a little bit of condensation on them. Let's see, this is the kitchen. Scrubbing the sink out. If there's like hardened food on there

[Miles]

to make sure the toothpaste gets rinsed down the drain.

[Tyler]

Yes, that's a big one.

[Miles]

I got trained in that.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jordan]

Dude, you know what's crazy is I might be the wife.

[Miles]

You're training Ann to do all those

[Jordan]

things and does all of those things.

[Miles]

Really?

[Jordan]

A lot of them. Yeah. The toothpaste thing drives me up a wall. She's always got dried toothpaste in her sink. Yeah, that just irritates me.

[Tyler]

That's an issue. Keeping my instant. My nightstand clean.

[Jared]

That's why I don't brush my teeth. Because I hate all the.

[Jordan]

In the city.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

Drives me nuts.

[Jordan]

Plus, the price of toothpaste these days, skyrocketing.

[Tyler]

The worst is when you, like, you put the toothpaste on and then you put it on the water and it falls off. So now, now you gotta like kind of splash at it, like finger flick it back into the. Into the drain or try to put

[Jared]

the toothpaste back or.

[Tyler]

I've done that. I thought you were gonna say try and put it. Try and put it back onto the toothpaste.

[Miles]

Sometimes you can get the scoop right.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So nightmare. Has she. Has she been trained then or. No?

[Jordan]

Well, I don't like to ever say that I've trained my wife. I just don't like that. I have.

[Tyler]

Well, I mean, the segment is how she has trained us.

[Miles]

Double standard. We're not allowed to say it, but they can.

[Jordan]

That's exactly. Thank you, Tyler. No, dude, I've been unsuccessful in. There's just a lot of. I. I have given up on some stuff like that because it's like we do have the luxury of each having our own sink in the bathroom. So what? I just try and just not look at it.

[Jared]

When you guys moved in, how did you decide which. Who's going to have which sink?

[Jordan]

It was a discussion. I think she has more stuff and hers is next to the upright cabinet.

[Tyler]

That's how we did ours too.

[Jordan]

And I just am over there on an island by myself.

[Tyler]

If you.

[Miles]

For. For guys in the bathroom, if you need more than like one or two drawers, you're doing too much.

[Jordan]

Yeah, basically I have. I have my one drawer. Then everything else either goes on top of the sink or I just don't have anything.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Jordan]

And then. Yeah. Or it's just like extra stuff. Just I keep in my shaving kit and that's just.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. You have your extra. Your bulk pit sticks. Those go in the closet or the cupboard. They don't need to be in your

[Tyler]

drawer because my pit sticks in bulk.

[Miles]

I do. I gotta start doing Costco 6. Six in a pack.

[Jordan]

I usually buy them just like Amazon or whatever, and they come in packs of threes or sixes.

[Miles]

No, I pretty much almost 100 of my toiletries are bulked.

[Jordan]

I think that's one of like the biggest, the, the biggest small pains in life is running out of something that you use. Like whether that's face lotion or deodorant or like a bar of soap.

[Tyler]

You know, when it's like running out

[Jordan]

of something like that just can definitely just like throw your day.

[Jared]

Contact solutions. A big one.

[Jordan]

Like having to use your wife's deodorant because you ran out sucks.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

So it's called secret, I'm telling you.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's true. I do that as well, though.

[Tyler]

And it's like, it's stuff that you know you're going to run out of and you know you're going to need more of, but you don't know the timeline good enough to put it on auto renewal.

[Miles]

And you don't want to end up with an. An situation where she has 47 bottles of conditioner.

[Jordan]

That is true.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

And that's why we need a date. Shift it so you know how long.

[Miles]

You got a point, Jared.

[Jordan]

That's right, Jared.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

But isn't it amazing that if you really need to, you can always squeeze more toothpaste out of the tube? You can always get more lotion out of the. Out of the tube. You could always just use that. You know, take the little thing that falls out of the deodorant stick and just use that on your arm.

[Miles]

Like a chunk falls off and you just like cran it.

[Jordan]

It's amazing how far it can go when you need it to go that far.

[Tyler]

I did that with the toothpaste last night. I like, I got about half of a. Of a toothbrush full, and then I put the cap back on and I ran it across a sharp edge and then I opened it back up and I f. I like twisted and turned and bent that thing and I got a full.

[Jared]

I think you squeeze the out.

[Jordan]

Yeah, I bend the corners in and push down with my thumb.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jordan]

Or like even shampoo bottles. You're just banging that on.

[Tyler]

You could take. You can take the top off, too,

[Miles]

and I'll do the. Take the top off, get a little water in it, shake it up, and then you just dump it on your head.

[Tyler]

That's not a bad idea either.

[Miles]

Toothpaste tack. When the. When the corner. You're not quite getting enough with the corner of the bathroom. Sink. Take your pit stick, put it on its side, and you scrape it forward. You'll get, you'll get another two brushes out of it. Easy.

[Jordan]

I like that. Smart.

[Miles]

Yeah, we, I like that we somehow and landed on a bathroom hack segment.

[Jordan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, and I, if you guys got any tips for me. I cannot get my wife to use a laundry hamper bin. Same like we have, we have like the plastic like hamper bins that you put your stuff in. And I, I even like late put our names on them so that when she brings it to the laundry room and puts clothes in there, she then goes, oh, this belongs in my closet and brings it back. I get her to do it. Maybe one time they go in laundry room and they never get back into the closet. And it's just, there's just laundry everywhere. I have no idea how to get. And then she'll also take her shirts and just everything comes off inside out. So when we're putting laundry away, I, for whatever reason, I can't just hang a shirt up inside out.

[Miles]

That's one thing I've been trained to do is when I turn my clothes right side out before I throw them in the hamper. I, I didn't do that for 24 years of my life. And then I met my wife, we moved in together, and then I was trained to do it.

[Tyler]

Yeah, my wife's a big, she's a big inside out gal.

[Jordan]

Yeah, it's always inside out.

[Tyler]

But I can, it's always inside. Yeah, you put that. Like if I just started hanging Jean, like I just hang all of her jeans, I, I hang the jeans just inside out. Like.

[Jordan]

Yeah, you like get to a point. Now I make sure if we're full and laundry together. Every time I come across a shirt that's inside out, I say something and it makes really mad, but at some

[Miles]

point, put it in, put it in the right side out pile. Like you got to right side. These are right.

[Jordan]

So I gotta do something. I was gonna be doing this for the next 40 years.

[Tyler]

Do you ever fold them inside out? Like, if they're inside out, do you ever just fold them, put them in a pile?

[Jordan]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Like leggings and stuff.

[Tyler]

100.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's what, that's what Becca does to me.

[Tyler]

See now I, I, I don't say as much anymore because when I, like when I help my kid get his pajamas on, it's like you gotta kind of chop chop. Like, because if you, if you miss a beat, he's gone, he's Gonna be off somewhere else. So like a lot of his shit's inside out. So I don't really say anything anymore because I put a lot of his in the hamper inside out. And that's where we're at.

[Jordan]

My kid doesn't have a hamper. And I literally put one in the room. And I started training him, like, all right, can you put it in the hamper? And he would do it. Week later, hamper's nowhere to be found. So I just. I don't know what to do anymore. The fight of my life. Laundry wise in my. In my household.

[Jared]

Yeah, if that's your biggest fight right now, that's pretty good.

[Jordan]

No, it is. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like. But it's also to the point now when my kid. If my kid's in the closet, he now just like lays on my wife's mounds of clothes. It's like a play thing.

[Tyler]

It's. It's so.

[Jordan]

It's like if I take that away from Rome, he's gonna, you know. I don't know.

[Miles]

Yeah, don't let Anne hear you say that because now that's her excuse.

[Jordan]

Like he'll lay on it and just like. Like he's laying on the couch.

[Tyler]

It's almost like you need an. An infinity disposable hamper. So it's like every time you like pull it up, there's another one. It's like, yeah, there's another one right there ready to go. So you can. And then you get a laundry room, you throw it away, it's gone.

[Jordan]

We need to treat it like. Like the garbage.

[Tyler]

Correct.

[Jordan]

And she just needs. We need to get a garbage can in there. She puts all of her clothes in the garbage bag. She takes that to there, throws it away. And then I'll put another bag in the trash bin.

[Miles]

I mean, you, you can't do this because I know the layout of your house. You have like the same floor laundry. But this is just a laundry chute is what you guys are describing.

[Jordan]

Yeah. What we need is the tube city.

[Miles]

Yeah. You need a suction tube city to.

[Jordan]

No matter to one room. No matter what. It always comes back to tube city.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Think about. Most of the world's problems could be solved with tube city. Imagine if we had tube city for oil. This straight of Hormuz thing would be no problem.

[Jared]

That is true.

[Tyler]

I mean. Yeah, you're not right,

[Jordan]

Hormuze wonder why we're not utilizing tube cities for humans too.

[Miles]

Yeah. You know that's in Zootopia.

[Jared]

Oh, wouldn't that just be.

[Jordan]

I suppose it is just one big tube city. I'll shut the.

[Miles]

Yeah. In London, they call it the tube.

[Jordan]

I'm sick.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Sudafed.

[Jordan]

I'm so high on Sudafed right now. Can't see straight.

[Jared]

Feel a little dizzy.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Maybe it's either wearing off or it's. The second wave is kicking it.

[Jared]

Is it a kind of a sick buzz? Like, it's kind of sweet.

[Jordan]

I told you. It's like I feel like there's an extra shadow following me around all day. So you decide if that's good or not.

[Tyler]

Like, the re. The real you is the shadow, like, kind of lagging behind. Like, what you'd actually be, like, off Sudafed And. And you in the.

[Jordan]

In the flash right now, Drop shadow. No, I. Yeah, my life has a drop shadow right now.

[Miles]

He's like, Aaron rogering it right now. Like the man in the. The trench coat or whatever the hell he sees.

[Jordan]

Like, I imagine this is how JJ McCarthy feels like when he calls himself Nine.

[Jared]

Feel up.

[Jordan]

She's got a drop shadow on your life.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jordan]

You know, like the sayings. Like, I was seeing ghosts out there. I'm. I feel like a ghost out there.

[Jared]

What was your number in high school?

[Tyler]

Five.

[Jared]

I feel like five right now.

[Jordan]

Feeling like five right now.

[Miles]

Yeah. Maybe you picked up a sickness from wearing your letterman's jacket. Some germs from mid 2000s quit very

[Tyler]

well could have been.

[Jordan]

That's actually maybe true.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Maybe something that. Yeah. Anything else you would say. You. You say that.

[Miles]

Wow.

[Tyler]

It's okay. We can start out. You can start over.

[Jordan]

Anything else that your wife. Does that make you say? Hell, yeah.

[Jared]

When she takes care of, like, a phone call over, like, an errand or something? Like, paid a bill or something?

[Jordan]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

Sets up an appointment for you?

[Jared]

Exactly. Yeah, something like that.

[Miles]

Hell, yeah.

[Jordan]

Yeah. Like what?

[Miles]

I'm not. I'm one of those people that's not afraid to schedule their own appointments, but if she does it for me, I'm gonna. Hell, yeah, that.

[Tyler]

Just don't schedule appointments.

[Miles]

I got it. Dude, I can't. I can't see. I have to go to the eye doctor.

[Tyler]

Like, we're turning into our dads. Our dads don't go to the doctors.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

So you're against your wife scheduling stuff for you?

[Tyler]

No, not. It was more so a joke. He was ready to. He was ready to pounce.

[Jordan]

No, I was just very curious because it's just. That's one of the best. It's definitely A hell yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Or like, yeah, it's like, you open up some mail, and she's like, I'll call someone tomorrow. Hell yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Thank you.

[Jared]

Like, our AC was broke last spring, and she took care of all of it. I have to make a single phone call.

[Miles]

That's awesome, dude.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

But also, one. One week suspension on your man card.

[Tyler]

I was just gonna say, what does that do to the man?

[Jared]

Such a.

[Jordan]

Hell, yeah.

[Miles]

Let's give him, like, a day.

[Jared]

I feel nice and cool in my house with that.

[Jordan]

Yeah. Without your man card for a week.

[Tyler]

Yeah, this suspension's gonna be nice.

[Jordan]

But also, yeah, there is some repercussions to that, you know, depending on what it is.

[Jared]

So.

[Jordan]

Yeah. That is elite, I think, also any. And this is. This happens to me maybe once a year where your wife kind of gives you the vibe that, like, you've been working hard, so you kind of just deserve to just, like, do whatever you want.

[Miles]

Just like a random, like, free pass to go goof off.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Like, hey, just to get goofy.

[Miles]

It's like, hey, why don't you go hunting tonight? Okay. Oh, are you sure? Is this a test?

[Tyler]

Why don't you go get absolutely schwacked with your buddies?

[Miles]

Yeah. You haven't golfed in a while. Why don't you. Why don't you go.

[Tyler]

Why don't you text your buddies, hey, I heard some. I heard some goblin on the way, and you just hit the turkey button.

[Miles]

What the you up to tonight? Why are you trying to get rid of me?

[Jared]

And that's code for, yeah, they're tired of you.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Y. But hell yeah, maybe we need to be more annoying.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I even put a bottle of Jergens and Starlink inside your turkey bind.

[Jordan]

Starling Nonsexual Ryan. Yeah.

[Jared]

It's a family show.

[Tyler]

That's true.

[Miles]

Sorry.

[Tyler]

You can cut that.

[Miles]

J.

[Jordan]

When your wife. This sounds bad, but when you're like, wife gets you a present that you actually genuinely are like, oh, hell yeah.

[Miles]

It's not just generic.

[Jordan]

It's not like, you know, I guess, like, getting a present that you're like, wow, that actually is something that I want. Yeah.

[Tyler]

And it just happens to be your birthday.

[Jordan]

Like, not like a shirt for vacation.

[Miles]

No.

[Jordan]

You know what I mean?

[Tyler]

I get pumped about like, that, though.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Because I. I don't really buy clothes that often, so if I show up and. And like, the package on the doorstep is from, you know, let's say Old Navy, I'm like, yeah, more Old Navy clothes.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

But it's like, Their shirts for me. And I'm like, these are kind of sick. Hell, yeah. Let's go.

[Jordan]

No, like, I like getting a good shirt, but wife got me a, like, leather new shaving kit fur. It was, like, clearly very nice, but I, like, open it up. And I was like, yeah, it looks cool. But also, I will now never have to buy another shaving kit in my life because this one is so well built.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

And, like, the leather will last forever.

[Tyler]

What you do.

[Jordan]

Just a huge weight off my shoulders. I never have to think about buying one of those ever again.

[Tyler]

What you do? Like, did you drop any hints? Like, hey, I need a new le.

[Jordan]

No, that's made even better.

[Miles]

No, that's the biggest. The biggest part of the hell yeah.

[Tyler]

So what if you didn't actually want that?

[Jordan]

But the thing is, I did.

[Miles]

She knew. She just knew. And that's what makes it a hell yeah.

[Tyler]

But she knows that he wants her to put her clothes into the hamper,

[Miles]

you know, but he doesn't have that. Hell yeah. Yeah, that'll happen one day.

[Tyler]

Maybe it just keep going.

[Miles]

But, like, last year, I didn't ask for it, but my wife just got me a shop vac for father's day, and it was awesome, dude.

[Jordan]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

He's like, it was like Christmas. How did you know?

[Jordan]

Every single time that I suck something up with a shop vac that I, like, haven't before, I'm always shocked that it handled it. You never felt that way. Yeah, I think the other day I sucked up some, like, scrap wood with it, and I was like, yeah, this thing's awesome. How did it handle that? Yeah, you know, once in a while, you kind of gotta, like, lift the hose up to get it to go all the way.

[Miles]

Rattling a little bit in the kink.

[Tyler]

The best is when you. When you throw that baby underneath it, like the seat of your vehicle, you

[Miles]

don't even care if it's important.

[Tyler]

It's getting sucked up.

[Jordan]

Well, if it is, you just pop it open and sift through and find it.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Like, then it becomes like you're mining gold, you know, you feel like a 49er.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Shake it.

[Tyler]

You drop a little sifter, and then

[Jordan]

I go like that.

[Miles]

I got 85 cents of change from my shop vac today.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

And chuck wagon. Poppy.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Okay, here's a question. Do you think there's more change under people's seats? Slash in shot vacs or under the cushions of the couch? I mean, I think the answer is easy.

[Jordan]

I think cushions couch really because you can still kind of like. Like if you go in your back seat, you can kind of see underneath.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

See it a little bit in the crack.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I think the argument for cars would maybe be like, that's when you're dealing with change more, you know, like you go to the gas station, pay with cash. You gotta change right there. You're always in the car with it. Yeah. I don't know.

[Jordan]

But it's just like, you are never looking under your cushions.

[Miles]

No.

[Tyler]

Unless I'm looking for the remote, like hard.

[Miles]

The kids lose the goddamn remote. If Roku didn't have a remote you could have on your phone, I would never be able to watch tv.

[Tyler]

Wait, say that again.

[Miles]

Roku has a remote that you have.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah. I've used that plenty of times.

[Miles]

My kids lose the remote four times a day.

[Tyler]

You got to put a 2x4 on that.

[Jordan]

You gotta put a hockey stick on that. Yeah.

[Miles]

I'm thinking about taping a giant exercise ball to it so there's no chance of losing the damn thing.

[Tyler]

Thing.

[Jordan]

Yeah. Dude. Two exercise balls and a hockey stick cup. That's not going anywhere.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I wonder if the Shop Vac and suck this up. I think a shop vac could suck a hockey stick up easy.

[Jared]

I wanted to find out.

[Jordan]

Yeah. We should do a new segment called. Yeah, does it suck? And then we just have a shop Vac. We try and suck up different things. The Shop Vac.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

If it works, we're like, this sucks. Sucks.

[Tyler]

And like, I don't think I've ever.

[Jordan]

Yeah. Oh, this thing sucks.

[Tyler]

I don't think I've ever emptied my Shop Vac before.

[Jared]

Bring that puppy and we'll sit through.

[Miles]

Yeah. There's prizes.

[Jordan]

Call it the 49ers segment. Just get a gold pan and just start going like that. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Ah, there's those.

[Jordan]

Wouldn't that be wild if we found some gold nuggets in there?

[Tyler]

There's that.

[Jordan]

Ryan, where did you suck up gold at?

[Miles]

I have no idea.

[Tyler]

There's that.

[Jordan]

How long have you had this? Oh, a couple. Couple socks.

[Tyler]

There's my apple watch. Been looking for that.

[Jordan]

This is a full can of Bush Light. It's unopened. How'd you get that in there? This thing really sucks.

[Miles]

Your hose isn't even big enough for that.

[Jordan]

I don't know why a vacuum or shop vac company doesn't do advertisements saying how much. How much their sucks.

[Miles]

This thing.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Sucks.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

It's a layup. We should start our own shop vac company.

[Tyler]

What do we call it the sucker sucks to suck?

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Yeah, we'll be this. We'll be the suckers.

[Miles]

Yeah, we can get. Well, not Billy Mays put someone of that caliber to do a thing about it. This thing sucks my pillow.

[Tyler]

What an attention catcher, though.

[Miles]

Yeah. You know, it sucks water, it sucks dust.

[Jordan]

But then it's. But then it's.

[Miles]

It sucks.

[Jordan]

I like this. I like to suck in my garage. I like to. To suck in the bathroom.

[Miles]

You can even suck in your car.

[Jordan]

Your wife can suck. You can suck sucking for the whole family.

[Tyler]

You know how they always, like, in like the distraught moments, it always goes black and white y on those times. You are. Are you like. Are you sick of having empty beer cans all over the place, not being able to suck them up with your current shop vacation? Yeah, I am too.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

I thought you were gonna do a sucking chair.

[Tyler]

Well, I was going. I.

[Miles]

Have you not been able to suck lately?

[Tyler]

Suck up your wife's Amazon boxes?

[Jordan]

Does your current vacuum suck to suck? Yeah, I definitely thought you're just.

[Tyler]

And what you. What you could do. Actually, the shop vac we have here, I don't know where the attachment went, but it's a. It's a leaf blower slash shop vac. So, like, you can pop the top off and wherever the. Wherever the end is, you use as leaf blower. So it could be suck and blow. If we added that attachment on top

[Jordan]

of it, this thing blows.

[Jared]

Can handle any job.

[Jordan]

Call it the blowy.

[Tyler]

Yeah, Sucky and blowy just have two characters for the. For the brand too.

[Miles]

Yeah,

[Jordan]

I like this.

[Tyler]

Hell yeah.

[Jordan]

Hell yeah. So anyway, anyway, yeah, I'm just always amazed at what the shop vac could suck up. I'm tempted just to, like, just get a bucket of water and just suck up all the water just for fun.

[Miles]

Hey, good way to clean the inside out.

[Jordan]

Way to clean. Yeah. And to showcase its sucking abilities.

[Tyler]

That's very true.

[Jordan]

All right, should we take a break?

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

All right, guys, before we get in the next segment, we want to remind you that we have a whole nother podcast over on Patreon. Last week I broke out my letterman jacket, so you have to go check that out on Patreon. Yeah, it was an episode to remember, wasn't it, Ryan? You had a. You had a bunch of fun on that episode. But every week we got another episode there. All sorts of other content. We got the water cooler talk. We got. What's the Friday night highlights. Friday night highlights. We got prison pals over there where we are Pen pals with people in prison.

[Jared]

Nuclear nerds.

[Miles]

We. Yeah, that's sometimes the.

[Jordan]

Yeah, we'll see about that. Still, big fan. You can ask questions and all that stuff over on Patreon. So download the app, search up, you bet your radio. Check it out. It's only five bucks a month.

[Jared]

Over 200 hours of content.

[Jordan]

200 hours of content for just five bucks a month. Plus, we just, like, also enjoy being able to do another episode every week. So go check it out. There's all sorts of other story lines going on over there.

[Jared]

It's hard to keep up.

[Jordan]

Ryan likes to get squirrely.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's unfiltered.

[Miles]

Yeah, Ryan unfiltered for sure. Ryan after dark.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

So go check it out, guys. All right, Jared, what do you got for us? All I'm seeing is a word. So this is what. This is what it says. It says. This is one word. It says cat waries. I think it's spelled.

[Jared]

I think I'm missing an A.

[Tyler]

You are?

[Jordan]

Yeah. Okay, so it is categories.

[Jared]

Categories.

[Jordan]

So is this a game of categories? That is a war.

[Jared]

Yes.

[Jordan]

Is that what I'm hearing?

[Miles]

I remember us doing this now. Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

I think an A and a hyphen will get you a long ways.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jordan]

I think just like general spelling and understanding of the English language will get you along.

[Miles]

Jared just wants us to fight. We all fought last time we played this.

[Tyler]

That's why it's.

[Jordan]

Wait, we played this already?

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jordan]

Oh, yeah. What was it?

[Tyler]

Sorry, you were on Sudafen.

[Jordan]

I'm on suit of feathery. It must be a short term memory. Long term memory loss.

[Jared]

Medium. Medium memory.

[Jordan]

Medium term memory loss. Must be a side effect.

[Miles]

You're like dory.

[Jordan]

Yeah. So what is it again?

[Miles]

So categories.

[Jared]

There'll be 12 rounds. So, like, you and Ryan will face off. Going like pizza toppings. Ryan starts.

[Jordan]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

Pepperoni. It's awesome.

[Tyler]

Yeah, there's a lot. There's a. There's a. What was that? Me and you, Tyler, because you. Someone said, oh, I can't remember the last one we played. Got it. Got pretty heated.

[Jordan]

Yeah, I slightly remember that. Who won?

[Miles]

I think I did.

[Jordan]

I think Tyler did.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I definitely didn't. I don't think I've won one of these games in this calendar year.

[Jordan]

You lost the game that you brought to us.

[Miles]

You did. By like a five second rule or whatever.

[Tyler]

Well, it would have been dumb if I'd have brought you guys a game that I just cleaned house at. You Know, I had to make. I had to. I had to present a fair game.

[Miles]

I. I respect the integrity.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And I also had to go first, so.

[Jordan]

All right, so before we even start, I will have to remind everyone I am on Sudafed. And I am. This is a flu game, so. Just wanted to keep that in mind.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I mean, I was also sick this last weekend. I just haven't. I haven't said anything about it yet.

[Miles]

I had a sick weekend.

[Tyler]

As you can tell with my voice.

[Jared]

Who's the sickest?

[Tyler]

I think I. I think perfectly hell.

[Jordan]

What's your excuse?

[Miles]

I had a sick weekend.

[Jordan]

You are very smart.

[Miles]

Well win last time when you were healthy, so.

[Jordan]

Well, I probably.

[Tyler]

I don't know. Boom.

[Jordan]

All right, let's do it.

[Jared]

I was.

[Miles]

And Ryan first.

[Jared]

Ryan, you could start.

[Tyler]

Okay. So just lay out the rules of the game so people know.

[Jared]

Yeah. You, winner will go to the next person.

[Tyler]

No, I understand that.

[Jordan]

How do you play?

[Tyler]

Yeah. So you're going to. So you're going to give us a topic. And we have to go back and without pausing, we have to go back and forth.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Like you'll say animals. I'll say dog. Miles. Say cat, Horse, Toppings. And so if you say something that's not in the. In that topic, you're out. Done. Or if you take too long.

[Jared]

Yeah. We. We'll do five second rule.

[Tyler]

Five second, That's a long time.

[Jordan]

Three second rule.

[Miles]

How about like two?

[Jared]

Okay, two.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I just want everyone to know what's going on.

[Jordan]

No, it's good.

[Miles]

We never establish this before we start, so this is good.

[Tyler]

Thank you, Ted.

[Miles]

Either.

[Jordan]

All right, let's do it.

[Tyler]

Gerald, give the topic. I'll start.

[Jared]

Things that smell bad.

[Tyler]

Poop, farts, manure, landfills, Silage, trash.

[Jordan]

Three, two.

[Tyler]

Horseradish.

[Jordan]

Does that count? I don't know.

[Jared]

That count.

[Miles]

I don't like the smell.

[Jared]

It counts.

[Jordan]

Okay. Hard boiled eggs, shower farts. That is the same thing as What?

[Miles]

No, he said farts already, right?

[Tyler]

There's a clean air fart, There's a shower. They smell different.

[Miles]

Because then you could just.

[Tyler]

How can you disagree with that?

[Miles]

Because then you open up a door of just saying location and then fart. Yeah, because then you could be like car farts.

[Tyler]

Do those smell garage farts?

[Miles]

But.

[Tyler]

But do those smell airplane farts? I think we can all agree shower farts smell significantly different.

[Jordan]

You've been on record saying that they actually smell good. So that also hurts you.

[Tyler]

No, I have not been on record. You could pull the. Pull the Tape from hairball hotel. I did not say that. Nice round.

[Miles]

I hate. I. We can't. We can't have shower.

[Jordan]

God, that. That. That happened because I was running out of them. So I won that one then I'd say so.

[Jared]

Yep. So now Miles versus Tyler. So winner goes, next round.

[Tyler]

Got win.

[Miles]

Winner stays.

[Jared]

Winner stays.

[Miles]

Yeah. Gotcha. Okay.

[Jared]

Okay, Miles, you can start. Types of cheese.

[Jordan]

Gouda, cheddar, mozzarella, Colby, Jack, feta, pepper

[Miles]

Jack,

[Jordan]

marble Jack, Parmesan,

[Miles]

Havarti, cream cheese, Three sharp cheddar cheese, mild cheddar cheese,

[Jordan]

extra sharp cheddar cheese.

[Miles]

This is

[Jared]

3, 2, 1.

[Miles]

You must said mozzarella already, didn't you?

[Jared]

Miles wins.

[Jordan]

So would you guys have taken Mexican blend cheese? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

So go sharp cheddar, medium sharp cheddar. Whatever the was said, I mean, they are different.

[Miles]

They are different types.

[Tyler]

And so is a shower fart compared to a clean.

[Miles]

The. That comparison is like saying fridge cheese and cupboard cheese and.

[Jordan]

Yeah, like nacho. Yeah, I guess. Nacho cheese. Why? Queso.

[Miles]

That's just cheese in Spanish.

[Jordan]

Yeah, but it's different. It's hot. It's liquid.

[Jared]

Okay, Miles, Ryan. Miles. You start things in a junk drawer.

[Jordan]

Batteries, rubber bands, scissors, paper clips, nails.

[Tyler]

Scissors.

[Miles]

Said that already.

[Tyler]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jordan]

Holy.

[Miles]

Right?

[Jordan]

All right.

[Jared]

Miles and Tyler. Miles, you start things you shouldn't say at a funeral.

[Jordan]

She's hot.

[Miles]

Happy to be here.

[Jordan]

Are we sure he's dead?

[Miles]

I didn't really like him.

[Jordan]

Smells like death in here.

[Miles]

Glad he's gone.

[Jordan]

He was cheating on his wife, right?

[Miles]

He didn't suffer enough.

[Jordan]

Death looks good on him.

[Miles]

Probably had it coming,

[Jordan]

You know? You know, in this instance, I'm a fan of cancer. I didn't like him.

[Miles]

I wonder who his wife brought on as a date.

[Jordan]

I see. Didn't get the boner package.

[Tyler]

2.

[Miles]

1, they should have definitely kept the casket closed.

[Tyler]

Two,

[Jordan]

I was trying to think of, like a funny song that they could be playing at the funeral. I was bringing. That was a long time.

[Miles]

That was fun.

[Jared]

All right. Tyler, Ryan. Porn stars. Tyler, you start so good.

[Miles]

Bonnie Blue.

[Tyler]

Lily Phillips.

[Miles]

The Sinister. Johnny. Johnny Sins.

[Tyler]

Ron Jeremy.

[Jordan]

A lot more guys than I thought.

[Miles]

Lisa Ann, August Ames. Stormy Daniels.

[Tyler]

A Bella Danger.

[Miles]

Fucking. Fucking Mike, dude. Dated her. Lana. Is that her name? Lana. Just Lana.

[Tyler]

Why are you looking at me?

[Miles]

I don't fucking know. You know you like that Mike guy.

[Tyler]

I'm playing against you.

[Miles]

God damn it. I'm out.

[Jared]

Ryan Woods.

[Miles]

Lana Rhodes.

[Jordan]

Fuck.

[Tyler]

Fuck.

[Jordan]

I had it.

[Tyler]

When have I ever said I like Mike Malak?

[Jordan]

You know his last name?

[Tyler]

Yeah, he's on him. Impulsive.

[Miles]

God damn it, dude, I had it. I had her name.

[Jordan]

I'm glad.

[Tyler]

Cuz I. That's.

[Jordan]

Actually, I'm glad that you did that one for Ryan because he was. That was. He was the only one that was going to win that I didn't have

[Tyler]

anything for after that one, so. Thank you.

[Jordan]

You guys forgot Mia Khalifa.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it wasn't. Wasn't. Yeah.

[Jordan]

Huge fan of the page, by the way.

[Tyler]

She retired.

[Jordan]

You remember that? You remember she posted a video is like with her. With her boyfriend or whatever. It's like when your boyfriend makes you watch dumb on YouTube. And she panned over to the TV. It was one of my like, dad's sketches on YouTube and her boyfriend was geeking out. But hey, Malia, Mia Khalifa's watched our videos before. I think it's mutual.

[Miles]

Yeah, boyfriend's got good taste.

[Jared]

Great icebreaker. Favorite me them.

[Tyler]

Yeah, great icebreaker for her.

[Jordan]

You got great taste.

[Miles]

If you watched our videos. We watched hers.

[Tyler]

Hey, we've gone.

[Jordan]

That's why I said it's mutual.

[Tyler]

We've gone view for view.

[Miles]

Thanks, man.

[Jared]

It's like a little free library.

[Tyler]

All right.

[Jared]

Ryan and Miles. Ryan starts things you say on a road trip.

[Tyler]

Who. Who's starting?

[Jared]

You are.

[Tyler]

You gotta take a piss?

[Jordan]

I gotta take a.

[Tyler]

When's the next rest area?

[Jordan]

You guys like this song or no? You see those deer over there commenting on any road sign?

[Tyler]

You got anything better we can listen to?

[Jordan]

We should probably stop for some gas soon, shouldn't we?

[Tyler]

Are you getting hungry?

[Jordan]

These AC seats are a game changer on long road trips.

[Tyler]

I think we could turn the air up a little bit.

[Jordan]

Are we almost out of wiper fluid? Should we get some at the next gas station?

[Tyler]

Are you gonna pass this guy or.

[Jordan]

He's literally said that before. I swear to God. God, like, that was like. I felt like I was flashbacking.

[Tyler]

Oh, like in real life.

[Jordan]

In real life. Like you said that before, like word for word.

[Tyler]

Sure. Yeah. Okay.

[Jordan]

Your blinker's still on.

[Tyler]

This thing gets pretty good gas mileage.

[Jordan]

Not get. Yeah, there a lot of headwind today. Not getting good gas mileage.

[Miles]

Miles is making up and drink. Ryan is fully method acting.

[Jordan]

What you there?

[Tyler]

You want to have me something to drink?

[Jordan]

Want to have me some napkins in the glove box?

[Tyler]

What you say you want it from here? Drive thru.

[Jordan]

Oh, it looks like if we go here this two minutes faster on the

[Tyler]

gps, you can see the skyline.

[Jordan]

Road construction everywhere.

[Tyler]

God, that'd be Some good deer hunting land out there.

[Jordan]

This could never end. No. Want to play the license plate game?

[Tyler]

Ah, cattle rancher over there.

[Jordan]

Ah. Cemetery.

[Tyler]

Ah. Northern tool over there.

[Miles]

God did.

[Tyler]

Ah,

[Jordan]

Fleet Farm.

[Tyler]

Chris Lindahl.

[Jordan]

Do we go through clear water yet or.

[Tyler]

No.

[Jared]

Okay, I think it's a draw.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

First draw categories, no more.

[Miles]

We can't have it open ended.

[Jared]

Ryan, you start. Things that shouldn't be sticky.

[Tyler]

Things that shouldn't be Sticky?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Mousetraps.

[Miles]

Think they should be.

[Tyler]

I think the ones that clamp on their neck are more effective, but you

[Miles]

got to put some bait on it. It's usually sticky.

[Tyler]

You put a piece of cat food, dog food.

[Jordan]

I'm gonna say mine just to prove that I think that I win this, but. Like your shorts.

[Miles]

Yeah, right.

[Jordan]

That shouldn't be sticky.

[Miles]

You don't want those sticky.

[Jordan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

I mean, so we could. I mean, you could say this lamp.

[Jordan]

I won that, right?

[Jared]

I think so, yeah.

[Tyler]

Oh, my. You guys are.

[Jordan]

You just named something that should be stickies. The sticky Mousetraps.

[Tyler]

No, mousetraps shouldn't be sticky because the ones that clamp are more effective is what I'm saying.

[Jordan]

Okay,

[Tyler]

I think you guys are just out to get me. No, no, it's like, oh, he said, oh, that. Oh, we could. That's not right. We'll find a loophole in that one.

[Jared]

Miles and Tyler. Athletes that took steroids.

[Jordan]

A rod.

[Miles]

Mark McGuire.

[Jordan]

Sammy Sosa.

[Miles]

Did Jon Jones get. No, he got pop for Coke. I don't know, dude. I'm out. I have no idea.

[Jordan]

Jose Canseco.

[Jared]

Yep. Bill Romanowski.

[Jordan]

Hulk Hogan.

[Miles]

Did he get caught?

[Jordan]

Well, they just were all doing steroids.

[Miles]

Yeah, you could just literally say any WWE wrestler in the late 90s.

[Jared]

Miles and Ryan, movies from the 90s.

[Miles]

Oh, God damn it.

[Jordan]

It's actually hard to remember, but all right, I'm first.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Jordan]

Dumb and dumber.

[Tyler]

Happy Gilmore.

[Jordan]

Three. Two Little Giants.

[Tyler]

Water Boy.

[Jordan]

Sandlot.

[Tyler]

Billy Madison.

[Jordan]

The 90s.

[Miles]

I don't think Water Boy was. Oh, you got it. Barely.

[Jordan]

99.

[Jared]

3.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

2.

[Jordan]

Fact one, I don't know. I was. Yeah.

[Miles]

Billy Madison. Happy Gilmore, for sure.

[Jordan]

You did pick one that you need fact checking on too, by the way.

[Miles]

I was live doing it. Anyone that I thought was a little suspicious, I googled.

[Jordan]

Okay. All right, Ryan. Good job.

[Jared]

Let's see. So, Ryan and Tyler, things you shouldn't say to a cop. Ryan, you start.

[Tyler]

You going to let me off of the warning?

[Miles]

Put your hands in the air.

[Tyler]

I have a gun.

[Miles]

You should tell them.

[Jordan]

You should say that. Actually, so you should let him know you have a gun, that they teach

[Miles]

that in the class. And you. I know you took the class.

[Jordan]

I know you took the class and I know that you've said you got pulled over for speeding one time.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you're assuming. I know you're assuming it's.

[Jordan]

You had a gun in the car and then he said, I won't show you mine if you don't show me yours.

[Tyler]

No, but we're assuming that's a concealed carry holder.

[Miles]

But that's literally the thing you're supposed to tell a cops. It's in the class.

[Tyler]

Okay, so should you tell them if you have a bomb walking onto a plane?

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jordan]

I mean, that would be nice to alert them before you get on the plane.

[Miles]

Unless your goal is to bomb it is your goal to shoot the cop

[Tyler]

if you have a bomb, you're going to tell somebody.

[Miles]

Not if I want a bomb. This is stuff you should.

[Tyler]

We're assuming this is in a class

[Miles]

and it says things you should tell

[Tyler]

the cop carry permit holders.

[Jordan]

We're.

[Tyler]

We're not going to. We can't just assume that.

[Jared]

You know what assuming does? It's.

[Miles]

It's like you've been taught to tell them this.

[Tyler]

When he says you things you should, you shouldn't telecom, you know, it's not

[Jordan]

really like me or it's like, you know, you go like, I knew I smelled bacon. You know, like stuff you want to

[Jared]

have a tickle fight?

[Jordan]

Hey, I got some donuts for you if you need those.

[Tyler]

Yeah, Jared's a judge. I lost that one.

[Jared]

Yeah, you lost.

[Jordan]

I don't know how much longer this podcast, how many more. How many more categories we can last.

[Tyler]

We gotta eliminate open ended ones next time.

[Jared]

Okay, that's fair.

[Miles]

Yeah. Nothing that's up for subjection or. Yeah, yeah, that's the right word.

[Jared]

Yeah. Be like NFL teams.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah. So, Miles, you won.

[Miles]

Good job, Miles.

[Jordan]

Flu game. Let's put up 60 on you boys. I can't even see straight. So up.

[Miles]

All your other senses were heightened. Yeah, we were at a disadvantage. Miles is on ped. He's on su. Been a. I should have said athletes that are that took steroids. Miles, today.

[Tyler]

Well, that would have been wrong though, because it would have had to be former athletes.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Jordan]

Are you saying I'm currently still an athlete? Thank you, Ryan. That means so much.

[Miles]

No, he's saying you're a former athlete.

[Jordan]

Oh, did you.

[Tyler]

Oh, here's my words getting twisted.

[Jordan]

No, you just said former athlete.

[Tyler]

No, I. Yeah, I said Jared would have had to say former athlete.

[Jordan]

Oh, I thought you said Jared did say that.

[Tyler]

No, no, no.

[Jordan]

Got it.

[Miles]

It.

[Jared]

I know what I said.

[Tyler]

I like that out of you, actually.

[Jordan]

But most of the time, you don't know what you said. Most of the time, you're like, I don't know.

[Miles]

Let me check.

[Tyler]

I defer.

[Jordan]

All right, you got. I'm the j.

[Jared]

Yes. Farty supreme. A friend and I were walking down the sidewalk in Boston. Boston. And I had just finished a banana. Took the sticker off the peel and threw the banana peel into the sewer dry drain. My friend began berating me for littering, but I said because I took the sticker off, it is not littering. He said it could clog up the sewers. And I said that the drains are built for leaves, sticks, and sand. How could they not handle a biodegradable banana peel? This was 10 years ago, and we still fight about it.

[Jordan]

I love that for you guys. 1. I. I do think it's an insane move to just throw it in there.

[Tyler]

The.

[Jordan]

In the sewer. Like, in my mind, it's like, just throw it in the grass.

[Tyler]

Yeah. So the birds or rabbits or something can get. Or squ.

[Jordan]

You know what I mean? So, like, I am on board that you can just, like, if you're driving on the road, you can just throw banana peel out the window.

[Tyler]

Agreed. Yep.

[Miles]

I. I'm. I'm usually all on board. I just Googled if it's technically littering, and it is.

[Jordan]

What is?

[Miles]

Discarding biodegradable material in a public space.

[Jordan]

Okay, well.

[Miles]

Which. I think that's narc, because I. I'm fully on this guy's side that it's not an move.

[Jordan]

I mean, it's just. It's more of. To me, it's just, like, kind of weird. It's strange. You threw it in the sewer.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Stuffed it in there.

[Tyler]

Yeah. At least throw on the ground, someone slips on it.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's way funny.

[Jordan]

It's like a classic prank.

[Miles]

Just quick run 10 yards in front of your buddy and then throw it over your shoulder.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah,

[Miles]

yeah, yeah. I'm with you. I don't think he's an. I think you're an.

[Jordan]

I think it's just a strange move to be thrown in the sewer. Kind of a power move, though.

[Miles]

And it's Boston. They have garbage cans all over the place on the sidewalks.

[Tyler]

They do.

[Jared]

I know. It's very.

[Miles]

Well, I've never been to Boston. I have no idea.

[Jordan]

Yeah. I don't know. The sewer thing's just kind of a strange move in my mind, but I think it's fine to destroy your banana peel out, like, the car window.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So, like, if a cop. Like, if a cop saw you, let's say, like, throw a pouch on the ground, like a spent pouch. That's littering. Littering, obviously.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Huh. Yeah. I guess my. I've always considered, like, five sunflower seeds. Like, dumping those out the window is not a big deal.

[Jordan]

Yeah. So by. By definition of what you said, sunflower seeds are no bueno.

[Miles]

Yeah. I'm littering when I do that.

[Tyler]

That h. Yeah.

[Jared]

I throw apple cores all over the place.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Oh, me too. I'd like.

[Jordan]

Sometimes I'll throw them at road signs.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I save them, put them in a little. Like a little cereal bucket in for my drive to work.

[Jordan]

Yeah. I have a sack of old apple cores that I just launch out the window.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Especially when someone's right on my ass, too. Doesn't happen often, but that's a good,

[Jordan]

like, move right off the windshield.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Someone whose tailgate eaten.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Banana peel better, too, because that will

[Miles]

stick because then they'll spin out and then they'll go.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

They can't be mad at you because it's so funny.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

But, you know, and it's not a big deal because if they just. If they go in the ditch, then there's just, like, that cloud thing that picks them up and puts them back.

[Miles]

Yeah. He'll use his magic fishing pole to bring him back on the road.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And besides, they're behind me now, so they'll get better mystery boxes.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

It's true.

[Jared]

Leslie asking my wife what's for dinner when we just got home hour ago with our newborn. Am I the.

[Miles]

No. That's a funny bit, dude.

[Jordan]

It just depends on how serious you are.

[Tyler]

Correct.

[Miles]

I don't think he's serious, so I

[Tyler]

think you'd be surprised, probably.

[Miles]

If you're serious, you're a. If you're not. You're funny.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You're not.

[Jared]

That's all you're asking my wife what's for dinner when we just got home an hour ago with our newborn

[Tyler]

Sudafed. What did you think he said right away?

[Jordan]

I thought he was just saying he got home from work. Oh, sure. You know, that's a good, funny bit. Getting home from work. It's a. It's a funny bit. It's funnier in this scenario for sure.

[Miles]

If he's serious, though, he's a piece of.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

It would have been even funnier if in the middle of labor, you'd. It's been like. So what are you making for dinner?

[Jared]

It's on the ground beef.

[Miles]

Did you have any plans? Plans for dinner tonight?

[Jordan]

Yeah. Did you put the ground. Did you put the ground beetle on the counter to thaw?

[Miles]

That would be funny. Yeah.

[Jordan]

No, I don't think you're. I think that's funny.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

If you're saying it, there's.

[Miles]

There's almost no way this guy can be serious about it. It's got to be a bit. It's a funny bit.

[Jordan]

Yeah. Like, unless you're clavicular, I think you're fine, but sure.

[Miles]

Right.

[Jordan]

That's kind of his brand. Is he would say that seriously or is that like, am I not interpreting?

[Tyler]

I think I. I think you're probably correct. I think he would call that supper mogging or supper maxing.

[Miles]

90% of my knowledge of this guy are from YouTube riffing.

[Tyler]

All my knowledge is when he got absolutely frame mogged by the ASU frat guy. That was intense. I don't know if you guys saw that.

[Jordan]

I watched a clip earlier today. I. Again, and I don't know. All I know is the clips that I see, but I watched a clip of him on 60 Minutes Australia and the guy asked some question he didn't like and he said he walked off. And then the caption said that the reporter said, I didn't need 60 minutes to determine that this guy's a douchebag.

[Miles]

Hell, yeah.

[Jared]

He's been saving that one

[Tyler]

that queued up.

[Jordan]

Yeah. Because he was like, dude, I'm not here to talk about that. I'm just here to share awareness for looks maxing. And I'm like, oh, my God, turd.

[Tyler]

Where are we at, you little butthead?

[Jordan]

Language.

[Jared]

Fun fact. Celtics and Knicks are the only NBA teams to have never moved.

[Tyler]

Really? Because teams move and then they change names.

[Jared]

That could happen.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So, like, where the tivos come from?

[Jordan]

They were the Lake or.

[Miles]

Oh, the Lakers left. Minneapolis Lakers.

[Tyler]

The Minneapolis Lake. Minneapolis Lakers, was it?

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Jordan]

So I wonder if they're counting that as a double whammy, that even though the Timberwolves have always been here, they had a franchise that left. So I wonder if that's how they're.

[Miles]

What about, like, the. The Miami Heat? They weren't somewhere else before, were they?

[Jared]

I don't know. I guess I should have fact checked that.

[Jordan]

This seems.

[Miles]

Seems wrong.

[Jordan]

Doesn't seem correct.

[Jared]

Let me fact check it.

[Jordan]

It's obviously like the.

[Jared]

Yeah. Yeah, I didn't do a ton of research on this one.

[Jordan]

Sudaf.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we know Jerry.

[Jared]

Secondhand Sudaf.

[Tyler]

I don't.

[Miles]

I'm not even.

[Jordan]

Great band name.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Tyler's a wrestler, and he just. He just may maybe just got.

[Jordan]

Did he just frame mug?

[Tyler]

He might just. Fact.

[Jordan]

NBA franchise mog.

[Jared]

You let me Google it.

[Jordan]

Fax. What? Facts checking. Maxing. That's what you're doing right now. Facts maxing.

[Jared]

No, that's correct.

[Jordan]

Where were the Heat?

[Jared]

The Boston Celtics and the New York Knicks are the only two NBA franchises to have never relocated or changed cities since the league's inception in 1946. Both teams have been based in their original city cities, Boston and New York, for nearly 80 years, sliding down their reputation as stable, historic charter members.

[Miles]

It's the original teams. That's the fact.

[Jared]

That's what it is.

[Miles]

The original teams. When the NBA started.

[Jordan]

Got it. Expansion teams don't count.

[Miles]

Yeah. So that's why the T. Wolves and the Heat are out.

[Jordan]

Got it. Got it. Because this Seattle supersonics moved to Oklahoma.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Got it.

[Jordan]

Just can't believe that was a good move, going from Seattle to Oklahoma City. Seems anyways.

[Jared]

Yeah. I think the owner had Oklahoma roots or something.

[Tyler]

They might be bringing the supersonics back, though.

[Miles]

Sounds like they're kind of cool.

[Tyler]

Yeah, like. Like maybe like two teams not in Seattle, but the supersonics and then Vegas.

[Miles]

Were the Wizards in Seattle or was that like, Washington? D.C. wizards used to be the bull bullets. Gotcha.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jordan]

D.C. d.C. Wizzies. D.C. pew. Pews. All right. Is that it, Jared?

[Jared]

Yeah, that's it.

[Miles]

Well, why do you say.

[Jared]

I just had a thought. Like, I like team names in Vegas. They're always dumb. Like, the. The. Like the ones that they're planning.

[Tyler]

It's like the Aces, the Vipers, Las Vegas Aces.

[Miles]

I do like Golden Knights.

[Jared]

Yeah. I just. I don't know. I don't like the team names in Vegas.

[Tyler]

I wonder when they're gonna do.

[Jordan]

I mean, Aces, like, but, like, if

[Miles]

aces fits, though, because it's like the Poker City. Yeah.

[Jared]

It's just too on the nose for me.

[Jordan]

Okay. What about the Lakers in Minnesota?

[Jared]

That's pretty on the nose. I wouldn't be a fan of that.

[Jordan]

What about the Timberwolves in Minnesota?

[Jared]

That's not as on the. No.

[Jordan]

What about the Twins in the Twin Cities?

[Jared]

That's like. I don't know. I just. I feel like we could do better in Vegas. Like, chapter 11s or, I don't know, something.

[Jordan]

You put up this Whole stink to

[Tyler]

make that one joke.

[Miles]

Yeah, you did pop to my.

[Jordan]

We couldn't end the podcast. You can make that one joke.

[Jared]

God.

[Tyler]

No thoughts left unsaid on this podcast.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

So you want it to be. You see, what about like the Las Vegas card counters? So you Las Vegas. That be cool. Pit bosses.

[Tyler]

Yeah, The Rain Men would be good, too.

[Miles]

Yeah, I don't think they.

[Jared]

I don't know if they want that one.

[Jordan]

Could be the Fountains, you know, named after the Bellagio fountains.

[Tyler]

The Las Vegas strips.

[Jordan]

Yeah, The Las. The Las Vegas Escort strippers.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jordan]

The Las Vegas chips. 11s named after Ocean's Eleven.

[Miles]

Yeah. They could have the chips and then their farm team could be the Dales.

[Jared]

There you go.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Chips aren't bad, huh? So what do you want? What? Okay, the Black Jacks.

[Jared]

I don't know what I want.

[Jordan]

What do you. What do you want them to name their NBA franchise? What do you want them to name them?

[Jared]

I don't know.

[Jordan]

Because you can't just be a problem pointer outer.

[Jared]

I am being that way right now.

[Jordan]

Okay.

[Jared]

Yeah, I honestly don't have a solution to it. It just kind of bugs me. I know it's a lame answer.

[Miles]

Yeah. Because like, I, I. Here's the main hole in your argument. Jared, you are a huge Minnesota fan and all of our team names are on the nose. The Vikings. Where did they land? Timberwolves. We have the most Timberwolves in the United States.

[Jared]

I didn't know that.

[Miles]

Close. The number. The number bounces around because they keep introducing them in parks and stuff. Stuff.

[Jordan]

The links.

[Miles]

The links.

[Jared]

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what I want.

[Miles]

The Twins are the. The soccer team is the.

[Jordan]

You're just bitching to Saint.

[Tyler]

Saints.

[Jordan]

You're always doing this.

[Jared]

Yeah, I shouldn't have brought it up. I apologize.

[Jordan]

Yeah, no, it's funny you brought it up. It's just. Have a better argument.

[Jared]

I. Yeah, you're right. I don't.

[Jordan]

You want to be the desert

[Tyler]

Las

[Jordan]

Vegas deserts, you know, because it's like the Minnesota Wild.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

The Benjamins would be cool.

[Jordan]

The Benjamins? Is that like slang for 100 bills?

[Miles]

Yes.

[Jordan]

Okay.

[Jared]

The Benji's. No. Ryan, why don't.

[Jordan]

They could be the.

[Tyler]

No, I said the Benji's.

[Jared]

Yeah, that'd be cool.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Dealers is kind of sick. Yeah, Las Vegas Dealers is a great name.

[Miles]

Hustler. Hustlers.

[Jared]

Hustlers is good.

[Jordan]

Oh, then I could call them the Hardcore Hustlers.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

We gotta end this podcast. I need to go to bed. I need to go to bed.

[Miles]

He's got like 30 seconds left on the Sudafed.

[Jordan]

All right, thanks for tuning in, guys, to another episode of you Bet yout Radio. Have a great week. We'll see you in the next one.

[Jared]

Bill Rye, the sandwich guy. So I have a product that needs to come back, and that's the flask. Think about it. You're out on the town, need a little pick me up. Just go to your back pocket, coat pocket, whatever. Take a snort and put it back or share with who you're with. It's discreet. It says, hey, I'm here to have a great time. I want to normalize carrying a flask, everyone.

[Jordan]

Okay, one, I think you can. Because by. By nature it's discreet. So people. A lot of people don't even know you got it. But also, it sounds like you're doing it for peacocking sake a little bit. So you're taking a discrete item and making it undiscreet, which totally defeats the purpose of it being a discreet item. So just wanted to throw that out there. Yeah, I gotta relax a little bit. Just relax. You know, there.

[Miles]

There's one huge problem with flas, though, is they're just impossible to clean. So, like, if you. We went through a kind of a flask phase in college, and if you didn't clean it immediately the next morning, it was just disgusting in there. And you can't get anything in there to scrub all the nasty out of it.

[Tyler]

Why is it. Why did it get disgusting so fast? Is it a stainless steel thing or.

[Miles]

Yeah, well, you. Like, we would put like, let's say you have.

[Jordan]

He's got UV Blue in there.

[Miles]

Like you're drinking.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

The sugary.

[Miles]

You're drinking like Ron Diaz black cherry in your flat.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And it's just a sticky, gross mess in there. And then I remember one time I was drinking out of a flask after I thought I got it clean and I got a chunk of something.

[Jordan]

That must be why they called my room in the apartment the flask.

[Miles]

Because it was nasty in there.

[Jordan]

That was a sticky whatever mess. He said.

[Miles]

Yeah. So that's my problem. They need to make flask easier to clean.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

I actually tried to be a flask guy for a little bit.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

I actually found this cool, like, Stanley flask. You know, like the Stanley green that are on the thermoses. I found a Stanley flask. But the problem I found with flasks is they're so discreet that I lose them.

[Miles]

Forget you have it on you. Just feels like your wallet.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, that's a valid issue.

[Jordan]

Kind of like that $20 in your pocket, you find it years later. You know, they're so discreet that I lose track of my flasks.

[Tyler]

Well, now they got them in all kinds of different forms, too. Like, women can get, like, women's tampons.

[Miles]

That's for sneaking.

[Tyler]

Sneak it in.

[Jordan]

Which makes total sense because every woman just goes like this with her tampon.

[Tyler]

Yeah, exactly. I know.

[Miles]

You make mixies with it. You just. Then you just go buy a Diet

[Jordan]

Coke, and everyone stirs their drink with their tampon. What's she doing?

[Miles]

She's dipping your tampon in her drink.

[Jordan]

Is that a tampon bay? Like a tea bay? What's going on?

[Jared]

Did you order a bloody berry?

[Jordan]

She's got him confused. I saw a gal at We Fest with a binoculars flask.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah.

[Jordan]

Oh. So, like, you screw off for the top and you drink out of the binoculars, which is fine. But the funny part is, is she was in, like, row four.

[Miles]

So it was just a bit for her bad eye.

[Jordan]

Yeah. No, it was like. Yeah. So suspicious. Like, what do you need the binoculars for? Like, I don't know. Because she thought she was being so clever. And then I pointed it out to her, like, yeah, but you're in row four, so everyone's gonna know you're not actually using the binoculars.

[Tyler]

She's trying to. Maybe trying to catch a print.

[Jared]

You point to security.

[Miles]

This one right here.

[Jordan]

I heard someone's got a flask over here. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it's the gal with the binoculars in row four.

[Miles]

She turns over. She's drinking out of the lens.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I. My little eyes. Something suspicious.

[Jared]

Just rat around Shiner's outreach program. What do you guys think about the new term for Diet Cokes? Some people are calling them fridge sigs because sometimes you just need one.

[Jordan]

I think we've talked about that on the office. In this office. We haven't talked about on the podcast. Yeah, we're big fridge sig guys.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

And I'm a little upset I wasn't the one who coined that phrase.

[Miles]

It's a great phrase.

[Tyler]

Well, and honestly, we're like. We're still pretty early on the fridge sig thing.

[Miles]

Thing.

[Tyler]

So you can. You can tell it to people for the first time.

[Jordan]

Most that is true.

[Tyler]

And it always gets a laugh.

[Jordan]

Fridge sig is definitely still in a niche portion of the Internet toward the masses. Haven't heard it.

[Tyler]

Correct. Yep.

[Jordan]

So, yeah, if I, you know, say that my in laws, they're all gonna. You'll get a big laugh.

[Tyler]

Absolutely.

[Jordan]

Guys, if you want more, you bet your radio. You gotta check out our Patreon. You gotta go to patreon.com you betsradio or look us up on the app. And we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you got to check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.