Things That Feel Like HELL 🎙️ #376

Summary

You Betcha Radio Ep. 376: "Things That Feel Like HELL" 🎙️ – May 6, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this comedy-filled episode, Myles the You Betcha Guy, Ryan, Tyler, and Jerrod dive into “things that feel like hell,” riffing on everyday annoyances, Midwest nostalgia, married/dad life, and some truly classic bro banter. From Midwest sports teams and vasectomy consults to soul-sucking social interactions and lake vacations, the guys keep the tone light, irreverent, and distinctly “You Betcha.” Later, they draft "ideal weekends at the lake" and share Midwest rest stop wishlists. If you love Midwest humor, man culture, and relatable rants, this episode delivers.

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Main Segments & Timestamps

• [00:00–04:00] Cold Opens & Baseball/Generational Nostalgia
• [04:00–15:00] Bat Science, MLB Fan Frustrations, Tailgate Plans
• [15:00–21:00] The Vasectomy Consult Saga
• [21:00–29:00] Things That Feel Like Hell (Roundtable)
• [29:00–37:00] Hellish Conversations & Sports Owner Therapy
• [37:00–46:00] More Midwest Hell Moments, Porta Potties, and Social Obligations
• [46:00–51:00] “Draft” Season, NFL Draft as Hell, Local Sports News
• [51:00–69:00] “Weekend At The Lake” Draft (Extended bit)
• [69:00–74:00] Midwest Rest Stop Fantasies & Star Wars Facts

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Baseball Nostalgia & Strange Internet Rabbit Holes

[00:00–04:00]

• Opening banter about batting stances, shady sunglasses, and the etiquette of bat flips.
• The gang riffs on the “suck it” gesture from wrestling nostalgia and 2000s childhood.
  • “I couldn't take the three-minute break between classes without hitting four of your buddies with a ‘suck it.’” — Ryan [01:48]

2. Down the Baseball Bat Rabbit Hole

[02:21–05:00]

• Myles talks about watching a YouTuber test baseball bat exit velocities with corked, pine-tarred, and cricket bats.
• Quick education about MLB rules on pine tar (no wider than home plate) and how much better a corked bat is.
• The struggle of naming active MLB players, lamenting on how regional sports network deals make fandom painful.
  • “They made it impossible to watch your team.” — Myles [05:45]
• Minnesota Twins media complaints—hardcore Midwest “guy talk.”

3. The Vasectomy Consult (and Dad Life Hijinks)

[06:25–14:00]

• Tyler reveals he’s heading for his vasectomy consult—opening the floodgates for jokes about grooming, fake spider pranks, and doctor awkwardness.
  • “I'm gonna spend a long winter—I need to dethatch before I trim it.” — Tyler [08:29]
• The cost vs. risk-of-more-kids calculus and discussing whether he’d take a same-day spot if offered.
• Joke about live-streaming the consult (blurred, of course) and accepting “roses” from viewers for the effort.
• “I'm not just giving a dick away for free!” — Tyler [19:02]

4. Things That Feel Like Hell: Rapid Fire Midwest Relatability

[19:44–37:40]

• Talking to old people in loud rooms:
  • “You feel like you’re being offensive by yelling, but if you don’t, you run the risk of them not hearing…” — Myles [20:03]
• Endless passing on the freeway:
  • “They clearly aren’t using cruise control…” — Myles [21:57]
• Working on projects with your partner:
  • “Any sort of project with a significant other. Enough said.” — Ryan [22:31]
• Having to turn off a mower to talk to someone
• Moving elaborate playsets (“Rainbow playsets”)
• Bad sports team owners:
  • “As a Twins fan, that’s hell.” — Jerrod [26:17]
  • Vince McMahon’s WWE reign: “Personally a piece of s***, business-wise…it went downhill.” — Jerrod [27:51]

5. Conversation Hellscapes & Recurring Bits

[29:24–33:34]

• Being trapped in a sports card conversation:
  • “When Ryan and Jake start talking sports cards, I have so many other better things to go do… Even if I’ve got nothing going on, I suddenly am busy.” — Myles [29:34]
• Pretending to care about golf scores or fantasy football
• How your hobby oversharing only matters to your mood at home

6. Physical Hell Moments & Midwest Home Life

[33:54–38:29]

• Middle-of-the-night charley horses [33:54]
• That moment before you puke:
  • “It’s the biggest hell, knowing you’re about to throw up.” — Myles [34:09]
• Waking up too early and can’t fall back asleep
• Realizing you do have weekend commitments after all (“I mentally already took my bra off.”)

7. Travel-Specific Hell & Midwest Dad Details

[37:41–42:20]

• Airplanes with no air conditioning
• Two fat guys in the same airplane row
• Hot job site porta potties:
  • “Smells like brimstone and fire. It’s a million degrees in there.” — Tyler [38:57]

8. Even More “Feels Like Hell” Scenarios

[42:21–47:39]

• Waiting in line to return things, especially on errands you already hate
• Doordash/food order disasters
• Realizing you have to break down a mountain of boxes (shout-out to spouses who handle it for you)
• Birth order and inheritance jokes:
  • “He’s getting all the will, right?” — Myles [43:28]
• “Being responsible while drunk or hungover”—stacking layers of hell

9. Draft: The Ultimate Midwest Lake Weekend

[51:00–69:41]

• Each host builds their fantasy “weekend at the lake” via draft picks. Includes boat types, unlimited gas, perfect weather, bonfire, local bands, and “Ryan’s college buddies.”
• Notable Quotes and Running Gags:
  • “Unlimited supply of gas—who needs the Strait of Hormuz when you got Ryan?” — Tyler [62:00]
  • “Our party’s got Alan Jackson, Jimmy Buffett, and Toby Keith on a floating stage.” — Myles [64:48]
  • “Never did any prep for this.” — Jared [66:54]
• Jerrod’s final lineup: pontoon, ice, Margaritaville machine, sunscreen—“a very specific, but wholesome, lake day.”

10. Midwest Rest Stop Utopias

[75:08–82:10]

• The guys fantasize about their dream rest stops:
  • Immaculately cleaned bathrooms with staff
  • Trough urinals (Metrodome style), shoe shines, vending machines that barely work, low-priced pops
  • Food courts with multiple Chinese buffets (including one named “Rick’s” or “RJ’s”)
  • Ballparks, yoga studios, hydro-massage chairs, and saunas—"no showers, blew all the budget on bathrooms”
  • “I would love just getting in a sauna with strangers at a rest stop.” — Tyler [81:12]
• Classic bit about sucking on an elementary water fountain “because the pressure was dog” [78:13]

11. Star Wars “May the Fourth” Facts

[70:36–74:43]

• “The Millennium Falcon was designed based on a burger with an olive on the side…”
• TIE fighter scream = elephant calls
• The cantina “jazz” is called “jizz” in the Star Wars universe—a running inside joke
• “George Lucas would just change a letter: jazz to jizz…” — Tyler [74:08]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “I figured the middle of my night was never NOT going to be Charlie Horsing!” — Myles [34:25]
• “Being balls is kind of a thankless job. All the work’s happening there, but they don’t get any attention.” — Myles [12:51]
• “If there’s a chance, take it. Take it if you’ve got a chance.” — Tyler (after the country song) [44:07]
• “They’ve had to listen to our bulls*** for 80 years.” — Ryan on elderly “selective hearing” [21:12]
• “There’s two ways to do things: the wrong way and the right way.” — Myles [24:03]
• “Sometimes we take for granted not having to s**t in a porta potty every day.” — Ryan [40:34]
• “I’m not just giving a dick away for free!” — Tyler [19:02]

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Episode Flow & Tone

• Language: Unfiltered, Midwest blue-collar, full of in-jokes, callbacks, and roast-style banter.
• Atmosphere: Hangout-in-the-garage-meets-lake-cabin-energy; modern Midwest man culture; equal parts home-improvement, sports, nostalgia, and light TMI (“dethatching” before a vasectomy consult).

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For Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In…

This episode of You Betcha Radio is Midwest “guy talk” at its most authentic—fun, tangential, and often ridiculous. The gang’s “hell” segment makes everyday annoyances hilarious, and the “lake weekend draft” distills regional summer fantasy into a four-man competition. If you ever felt that mowing etiquette, awkward consults, or standing in line at Walmart deserved a place in hell, this episode is for you.

Listen for:

• Candid “dad life” takes
• Midwest sports and music nostalgia
• Banter and one-liner delivery
• Community sense—including hating on the Twins' owners, local tailgate tales, and making even porta-potties into comedy

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Listen on: [You Betcha Radio Podcast feed]
Hosts: Myles the You Betcha Guy, Ryan, Tyler, Jerrod
Release: May 6, 2026
Episode: #376, “Things That Feel Like HELL”

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TL;DR:
Middle-aged, Midwestern, and slightly unhinged—the You Betcha guys offer the most relatable “hell” lists you’ll find, wrap it in camaraderie, and finish with a lake draft you’ll end up having opinions about. Cheers!

Transcript

[A]

This is the official T shirt guy. Batting stance, got his shady rays on. He's ready to go.

[B]

He's gonna hit the leg.

[A]

Gone 450 over the fence. Are you a one handed follow through guy or two?

[C]

When I swing and miss, I'm one.

[B]

You do that golfing when you hit a bad shot, you one handed.

[C]

Every time swinging misses one hand. Solid contacts too.

[A]

So two.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Have you ever bat flipped in your life?

[C]

No, I didn't hit enough home runs to where I like, I just knew it was going on. It's like, if anything, I thought it was like maybe like a double in the gap or a double. Whatever. Double off the wall.

[B]

So.

[C]

No, I would have loved to, but.

[A]

So you were one. Even if you had a home run, you're one of those guys that was sprinting to first base. That's so embarrassing.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. And then you let up, let up quick and.

[A]

And do one of them. If you do one of these to the second basement.

[C]

If I got two words for it.

[D]

If you suck it.

[C]

If you get one out quick, you can taunt the second baseman. That's the goal.

[A]

I got like pushed like Instagram ad.

[C]

I'm trying to remember.

[A]

It was like a corporate. It was like a company that is like, shouldn't be doing this. But in their ad they were like doing like a fun montage and people in the thing were going like this to each other. I was like, what is happening? We're so back.

[B]

Is America Generation X will never die.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

That's an icon. When we were kids, we used to.

[B]

Did I. You couldn't go to it. You couldn't take the three minute break between classes without hitting four of your buddies with a Suck it. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It was great.

[C]

Yeah, it was.

[A]

All right. Are we ready, Jared? I think we've kind of been rolling, right?

[D]

Yeah, we've been.

[B]

All right, back to it.

[A]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of you Bet yout Radio podcast. Boys started off hot. Yeah, Barrels are hot.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Barrels are on fire.

[A]

I watched a YouTube video over the weekend. Just had no business watching this because I don't care.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But it was a guy test testing the exit velocity on different types of bats.

[C]

Oh, I love watching that guy.

[A]

He had a torpedo bat. He had a bat that he drilled like a. The. A hollow tip on it, basically. He had a corked bat.

[B]

Yeah, like he corked it himself.

[D]

I.

[B]

And was the one with the cricket hybrid.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. He cut it in half. And then he also had one where he put pine tar on the whole thing. On the whole thing. And actually, like, worked pretty good.

[C]

He was smashing balls out of the yard.

[B]

Weird.

[C]

Yeah. George Brett roll.

[B]

Can you not put pine tar on the barrel?

[D]

Can you put.

[C]

You can put. I don't know where the pine tar can end, but the length of pine tar in your bat can't be. I believe it can't be any wider than home plate.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

So if, if, if, if the umpire thinks that you have too much pine tire in your bat, he'll lay it across home plate. It's kind of like the putter rule, the gimme rule.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

If it extends out past the plate,

[B]

because I know guys will put pine power, like, right where the bat start. The. The handle starts to get thicker on the way up to the barrel and just grab that.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

But I've never seen anyone put it on the barrel.

[C]

No, I haven't either. Yeah, this was caked. It was caked in pine tar. He was smashing balls.

[B]

It's like the chapstick thing in goal.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, the corked one.

[B]

Clearly it was the winner.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Sosa.

[B]

Because I just saw a tik tok clip of this guy and all I saw was the half cricket bat. The one he saw in half. Yeah. But he, like, mentioned the other ones.

[A]

I would have liked to see him flip it around and hit it off the regular barrel. Not the flat part. But, you know, I should have commented that. Would love a part two. But do the other side of the cricket bat. I have thought about, like, if I started commenting from the you betcha page of the. Of the deep dark corners of YouTube that I end up in.

[D]

Do it.

[A]

I'd be all over Brian Cox's.

[C]

Oh, God.

[A]

Yeah, I'd be. I would be. I'd be commenting on Every Brian Cox YouTube short. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. They'd probably be talking about you on the next Rogan.

[A]

They call me. You betcha. Commenter.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yvc. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, go check it out, guys. It's a good watch. Even though we kind of told you what happened, I actually.

[C]

I don't even. I don't even know, but I. I watch his videos all the time.

[A]

Yeah, he. He did a good job of making me interested in baseball, even though I have no interest in baseball.

[D]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. You could have named 10mL, but maybe now you can. Now.

[B]

Yeah. Did he name drop any?

[A]

No. So when we were driving home from Milwaukee last time, Jared challenged me to name 10 active MLB players. And I think I got to, like, eight.

[D]

Eight. Yeah.

[C]

It was tough I mean, it's a lot to follow. I mean, I, like. I think I could.

[A]

I was naming people that don't play anymore. I mean, I was scraping the bottom of the barrel of my memory bank.

[C]

First one, like Clayton Kershaw, Boom, you're done there.

[A]

Brad Radke.

[B]

Brad, he gone. He's played since 2004, so.

[A]

Yeah, I just. I don't know, dude. It's also so hard to get access to a team that you like in the mlb. They made it impossible to watch your team.

[B]

Yeah, don't get me started on all the twins nonsense where they've been on every different. They've been on Valley Sports, Box Sports. They've been everywhere I wanted. At one point in my life, I wanted to get back into watching the twins, and they made it impossible for me to do that.

[C]

I know, I know.

[A]

Yeah, I'm with you. I don't get it.

[C]

Don't. Don't get him started.

[B]

Don't.

[A]

I won't get started.

[B]

You know, he shouldn't get started. Jake. Jake will spaz about it.

[D]

He'll talk your off.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So what do we got today, Jiren?

[D]

Tyler has something to share a little bit.

[B]

Oh, hey, as as this podcast airs, I will be in my console for my vasectomy.

[A]

So one. Really from now?

[B]

Yep. Because we're recording this early, and it'll come out the day I am in the consult.

[A]

We should have told everyone we were doing the tailgate last week then. Yeah, last week's podcast. We should have alerted everyone where to meet up, organize who's bringing what. Yeah, you know, we could have done, like. If your last name is in the second half of the Alphabet, you bring buns. If your last name's in the first half of the Alphabet, bring meat. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. If you're. If your last name starts with the letter that's last in the Alphabet, you're on grill duty.

[B]

Yeah. You're on consult duty. I can't be grilling.

[A]

Yeah, but it might take your mind off of it. You know that's true.

[B]

Yeah. I can't be flipping burgers, always talking to me about my nutsack.

[A]

Well, no, this is. This is pre consult, Tyler. We're getting there at 6:00am it's pre COD. Yeah.

[B]

Jared and I were talking. Jared and I were talking about my nuts earlier.

[A]

What?

[B]

And we think a good prank. When I go in for the actual surgery, just have, like, some of the spray cobwebs and fake spiders underneath my nuts. He goes in there, he'll lift him up and be like, whoa.

[A]

Is that what they do? They lift him up?

[B]

I think they cut on the backside of the sack, so they're.

[A]

That makes sense. Most aesthetically pleasing if you end up with a scar.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

You know, kind of like a boob job.

[A]

Like the boob.

[C]

The boob job. Scars are underneath the boob.

[A]

I think. I think you should mess with them. I think you should have a cock ring on something while your pants down.

[B]

Also thinking about, like one of the. A temporary tattoo. Just have like something like super aggressive tattooed on my scrotum.

[A]

Yeah, on your. Oh, on.

[B]

On the nuts.

[A]

I was gonna say you could put. You could do one on each inner thigh or something like that.

[C]

Are you gonna groom?

[B]

I think they'll probably make me. I don't know, though.

[C]

Are you gonna dethatch?

[B]

Yeah, I mean, more than. More than likely.

[D]

I'm.

[B]

I'm gonna spend a long winter.

[A]

I need to dethatch before I trim it.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

They'll do the aeration, I'm sure.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

For those that don't know what we're talking about, Tyler's having a vasectomy soon. And this is. Apparently, he has to do a consult to the vasectomy.

[D]

Yes, apparently.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

What would have to happen in this console for you to back out?

[B]

Dude, I don't know. I've got the price locked in. It would be raised. The price on me got it.

[A]

So after.

[B]

After I got it where I want it.

[C]

But you also have to weigh out. Like, okay, if they raise the price, you might be out. But also, if you don't get the vasectomy, you could be paying hundreds of thousands of dollars more with another kid.

[B]

That's true.

[C]

You know, so, like, what. Where's that line gotta be drawn?

[B]

Thousands of dollars on a vasectomy. Like, Jesus.

[C]

No, but another kid.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. You're not wrong.

[A]

So, I mean, the kind of goes back to my point of what we talked about last time we talked about is like, this is pointless because you're doing it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're just. They're making me do it.

[A]

I know.

[B]

So we're gonna go cash grab. It really is.

[A]

It's just a catch.

[C]

Another appointment. Yeah, yeah. Actually, people who don't negotiate price down, they don't have to take the consult.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because that's where they get you.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it really was.

[A]

You're gonna pay for it regardless, Tyler.

[B]

Yeah, I. I was also talking to Jared. If they. I. And I think I would have your blessing that if my appointments at 8:30 in the morning for the console. If they say they can get me in right after, I think I would take it. And I think you'd be okay with it.

[A]

Yeah, I'd be okay with that.

[B]

Okay. So if they're like, hey, we can. We can prep you for surgery right now. I'd be like, okay, I'll take my pants off.

[A]

Says the company. That is to the point now where we have no set schedule whatsoever. No, actually, you know that every Wednesday at 9:30, we.

[C]

Yep. Well, he's gonna be gone anyway. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Perfect.

[A]

So, yeah, I won't be here. You guys don't work when I'm gone. Anyways.

[B]

Ryan, I'm gonna need you to pick me up.

[C]

I. I can do that.

[B]

Hell, yeah.

[C]

Yeah, I can absolutely.

[A]

Bring a bag of peas and. And a handle of Ron Diaz.

[B]

Yeah. Black cherry, please.

[A]

See, I knew you liked Ron Diaz.

[B]

We drink the out of it in college. We used to say Uncle Ron was coming to visit this weekend.

[D]

That's a really good bet. That great

[B]

Auntie Morgan.

[C]

So do they put you. Did they. I was gonna say, do they put you down for this?

[B]

We'll find out.

[C]

No, they're not gonna put you down.

[A]

That's a good information. Yeah.

[D]

I do think they do go down on him.

[C]

They go down on you to put. Do they put you under? They just numb it up?

[B]

I don't know. I think they numb it up, but I'll find out at my console.

[A]

This might be an absurd thing, but what if, like, what if you get there? There's a nurse assisting.

[B]

I only have eyes for one.

[A]

I know, but you're maybe a little loopy from meds they gave you, hey, and she's a rocket.

[C]

And then you get a.

[A]

How are you gonna.

[C]

Red rocket?

[B]

If I know anything about cutting meats. They're easier to cut when they're a little bit firm.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

That's a good point.

[B]

It might make the doctor's job easier.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And I would ask that into, like, hey, what if I just get a narb in the middle of the procedure? What do we. How do we navigate that?

[C]

All right.

[B]

He'd probably be like, I've seen it all, man.

[A]

For those that don't know, NARV is a no apparent reason boner.

[C]

Yep, that was my next question.

[B]

We call them roners. Yeah, I mean, like, random boners.

[C]

Like, when you. When you put a band aid on you, you don't want to, like. You don't want to, like, say, it's on your hand, you don't want to flex your hand. Put the band aid on. Because then when you clench your fist, pop right off. So I think they're going to need you to be, you know, semi flex.

[A]

I don't. I don't think there needs to be any flexion.

[B]

Yeah. It's a weird thing too about it is like when I get a bone, my balls don't get hard.

[A]

We don't know that actually. Have you ever been inside your balls when you got hard?

[B]

That's true.

[A]

You know how hard they get.

[B]

Yeah. And I'm not really paying attention to them in those scenarios.

[C]

You're not?

[B]

No.

[C]

Okay. Because they might ask you that during the concert. Do you ever pay attention to your. This is testes. Yeah.

[B]

The most attention I've ever given to my nuts. And they're gonna mutilate them. Sure.

[A]

Yeah. It's. Being balls is kind of a thankless job. Yeah. You know, all the work's happening there, but they don't get any of the attention.

[D]

They kind of get cucked in a way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're right there.

[A]

I mean, every once in a while they get some.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it's usually in the. In the form of cupping.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Which is just.

[B]

It's not the same.

[C]

What's the. How long. How long are you gonna be on the ir?

[B]

Find out at the console.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, a lot. I still get a lot of questions. Gotta have the console.

[A]

This is a Patreon episode for the main show.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

So, yeah. You don't know how long you'll be out?

[B]

No, I think from buddies that have gotten it. It's like two, three days of icing and chilling.

[A]

That's.

[B]

Yeah, that's what they tell you. But like, I remember one of the guys that used to work here, he was here the next day.

[A]

So you need to do. Have this procedure done on a Friday.

[B]

Yeah. Well, my plan.

[A]

You don't need to be missing work for vasectomy.

[B]

Yeah. My. I just got to figure out how to like. Because I'm going to have to get it up here. So I'm going to figure out a ride situation you can say at Ryan's house. Okay.

[C]

You could say my house. I got a couple of guest bedrooms.

[B]

You let me. Driveway.

[A]

He's got extra square footy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

From sub 2k sqft to just a plethora of sqft.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Sub 4kft now.

[A]

Jesus.

[B]

I mean, you were always sub 4k.

[C]

That's true. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

We raised the bar.

[A]

Greater than 2k, less than 4k.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I think you got more square footage than I got now, at least. Finished.

[C]

Finished. Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Rides look good.

[B]

Hell yeah.

[A]

Ryan's got. I think Ryan's living the best out of all of us.

[B]

And square footage for sure.

[A]

Square footage.

[C]

Trophy wife.

[A]

You know, he basically. If you didn't. If you didn't want to, you wouldn't have to interact with any of us throughout the day. No, I mean, he's. He's basically just you're.

[D]

You're.

[A]

You. If you wanted to, you could just work by yourself all day. Yeah.

[C]

Tom Hanks. I'm on my own island.

[A]

Yeah. Cast away.

[C]

Cast away.

[D]

You're the American dream, Ryan.

[C]

Yeah. Whatever that is.

[B]

You know, it's whatever you want it to be. That's the beauty of it.

[C]

Yeah. My stressors these days are like, why can't I get my yard leveled? Why isn't grassy growing? You know?

[B]

Good problems, dad.

[C]

Good problems to have.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, you should have tested the soil at your spot. I do got to rebuilt the house there.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So I could have been a deal breaker. Now you're finding that out for sure.

[C]

Yep. And you know what? I did? I did, before we built anything, filled a five gallon bucket full of dirt, meant to send it in to get a sample. Didn't because I was so busy and got moldy.

[B]

You got to send in the bucket five gallons of dirt.

[C]

I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Hey, the more the. The more the merrier.

[B]

How do you ship a five gallon bucket?

[C]

No, it's in far. Like, you just bring it into town.

[B]

Gotcha.

[C]

Bring it to the whatever.

[B]

I think you're like throwing a shipping label on a bucket. That's.

[C]

I mean, you could.

[A]

Dirt got moldy.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, there was like. I mean, there's like. Like the top part of it, the grass. Like the weed part grass part whatever. I'm sure it was. There's just a lot of moisture. And then mold started to. I mean, your. Your. Your yard and grass can get mold on it. Yeah.

[A]

I was thinking it was like just dirt, though. I didn't know you had grass on top. So you just like took a chunk out of your.

[C]

Pretty much, yeah.

[A]

Got it.

[C]

Yeah. I didn't know if I was doing it right. I was just guessing.

[B]

Yeah. Fair enough. So figure it out as you go.

[C]

Give them enough to work with. But they didn't have anything.

[A]

But honest with you for even taking that sample, you know, you didn't fall through on it. But I would have never thought to test the soil. Like that.

[C]

Then it tells. I mean, then it tells you what type of chemicals and stuff you need. If you need extra nitrogen or phosphorus.

[D]

It's like doing a blood test for your yard.

[C]

Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Are you guys in or out? Have you seen the new thing where it's like. It's just like a app and a subscription thing where you can just. You stick this thing on your arm and it takes your blood and then you send it in and get it analyzed and tells you all the stuff that you're missing and whatnot.

[C]

No.

[A]

Are you guys in or out on that?

[D]

I'm so in on if it works.

[C]

If it. Yeah, I'm interested.

[A]

So the only thing you know is like, you know, if you. If you give blood to a medical facility, they. There's all sorts of rules and regulations on what they can do with your blood and your DNA and all that. Yeah, like even like Ancestry.com and 23andMe and all that. What are they doing with my DNA?

[C]

For sure, they're sending it to health insurance companies probably.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's. It's an absolute crapshoot, actually.

[A]

So if there was a way that they would be able to actually confirm that my DNA is never going to end up in the hands of someone else. It's like if they sell the company, you don't know who they're going to sell. Right.

[D]

Yeah. There needs to be like a HIPAA protection with it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I think it's cool. I'd love to know what I'm missing.

[C]

Agreed.

[D]

Well, and I hate needles too, so that'd be epic for me.

[A]

Yeah, it's just a sticker you stick on there.

[D]

That'd be awesome.

[C]

It's like a wood tick almost, but more productive. Yep.

[D]

I'm so.

[A]

They're not a sponsor, by the way. I just saw it. It's just like.

[B]

That's run by big vampire.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Started by a guy with a blood fetish.

[C]

Count Dracula.

[A]

So what are we gonna talk? Well, hey, good luck at your consult.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I actually. You know, all this tailgate talk out of me, I not even be here. Me and Jared aren't even going to be here.

[B]

We're.

[A]

We're going to be a bellied up.

[B]

I. I'll call you guys. I'll call into bellied up, let you

[C]

know how it goes.

[A]

Well, let's. Let's go live on kick.

[B]

Oh, sure.

[A]

Let's live stream it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

24 hour live stream.

[A]

So we'll start in the tailgate and then we'll we'll live stream the consult in the doctor's office.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Can you do a live blur of the nuts? I want to get everything.

[C]

That's a. Yeah, that's a good question.

[A]

That'd be funny if we just blurred out his nuts and his dick's just hanging out.

[B]

I would. I would need some sort of compensation for that. I just don't give a dick away for free.

[A]

Well, yeah, whatever, whatever. You're able to get subscriptions or bits or whatever that they, that the people that are watching Roses. We'll do it. We'll give you a hundred percent of those proceeds.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Yeah. Thanks for the rose. And you have to say that every time, too.

[B]

Yeah. Thanks, Galaxy.

[A]

Yeah, we can go live on Tick Tock. No one get us banned.

[C]

Well, I mean, if, like, if we had the phone, if we were going like this, and then. And then it just happened to pull one of these,

[A]

so. Good luck.

[B]

Thank you. I'm excited.

[A]

What are we talking about today, Jared?

[D]

Things that feel like hell.

[A]

Things that feel like hell. You got one off the bat.

[D]

Yes, I do.

[A]

One sec.

[D]

I just had it written. Talking to an old person in a loud room.

[A]

Oh, that must be like a. It does feel like hell.

[D]

I hate that so much.

[A]

It's just. And you. You feel like you're being a little offensive by yelling too much, but if you don't, you run the risk of them not hearing you right.

[D]

And you can hardly hear them. It's a mess.

[A]

It's a terrible situation.

[D]

I hate it so much.

[C]

I mean, if they have, like, if they have Bluetooth hearing aids, you should just call in even if you're right next to them, so that, you know, there's a better chance that they're. They're going to be able to hear it. You're on the AP. You got the APs in your ears and they got the Bluetooth hearing aids.

[B]

That's a really good idea.

[C]

Yeah, just call in. That's.

[A]

I mean, why, why, why can't we just get like a mic system for old people?

[C]

Yeah, it's not a bad idea.

[A]

You know, like, we got the little DJI mics, the little, like, why can't we just, like, hook those up to their hearing aids? And then every person that's talking to them, we can just pass it around.

[B]

You'd think the hearing aids would be enough, though, because that's what it is. It's a microphone that gets. You're talking into that and it amplifies it into their head.

[A]

The problem Is a lot of old people, like, wearing hearing.

[B]

Yeah. Like, they turn it down.

[D]

And a lot of old people love selective hearing, too.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. They love.

[C]

Probably just don't want to talk.

[B]

They hear us. They're just like, I have the perfect excuse. I didn't hear a fucking word of that. Because I don't want to entertain it.

[C]

They've had to listen to it. Bullshit for 80 years.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. My grandpa's hearing aids are turned up so high that when he. He scrolls Facebook reels like it's his job. I can hear them from his hearing aid across the living room.

[A]

Your hearing's already shot. Who cares?

[B]

Yeah. That's just. That's how bad his are. Like, I'll be across the living room and I can hear him. It's like whatever TikTok song it is.

[A]

That's what your grandpa's watching.

[C]

He's getting ripped tonight.

[A]

I think another. I think another. I think another thing that feels like hell is when you and another car are caught into a passing each other competition.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Oh.

[D]

Like on the interstate.

[A]

Yeah. And it's like the other person clearly isn't using cruise control. And so they're constantly speeding up and slowing down and going in front of you, and then you have to pass them, and then they pass you. It's. That feels like hell.

[C]

Yeah. What do you.

[A]

I just want to relax and drive on the interstate. I don't want to have to deal with you and your car and your lack of cruise control.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I. Sometimes I'm at home. I'll take a route that is eight minutes longer just because I know they're going to be no other cars and I can cruise and just zombie out.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

It's fantastic.

[A]

That is very nice.

[C]

I would say one thing that feels like hell is doing any sort of project with a significant other. Enough said.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just. I do my best to avoid that.

[C]

Me too. Me too. But a way, like, if it comes to, like, some pictures or something that got to get hung up. Like you need a console. Quick consultation. And after the consultation, you know, they're gonna probably hang around a little bit and just monitor and make sure you're putting it in the right spot. I'm out on that.

[A]

Me and Anne are on a good page to where she does stay out of it. But she's around because I'll always be like, hey, write this number down. Write this measurement down for me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so that's kind of nice if you got to clearly define the roles. For sure.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Becca's my Eyes in the sky. Like, I don't measure when I'm hanging photos, she just stands back and tells me where to put it.

[A]

That makes me so.

[B]

I know, I know.

[A]

You're better than that.

[B]

No, it works fine.

[A]

You're better. I'm disappointed. I'm not mad. I'm disappointed.

[B]

I've talked about this before.

[A]

Yeah, I know. And it just. Every time it's me eyeball it, it's just. You're better than that. You're too smart.

[B]

It looks good, though.

[A]

It looks too smart. You're too capable to be just eyeballing pictures.

[B]

I do have one of.

[A]

I need this thing within 1/32 of center.

[B]

I know. I hung some backdrops with you in the 2.0 podcast studio.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the amount of numbers written on two by fours. It took so long.

[A]

And we got it right.

[B]

We did. We did.

[A]

There's. There's two ways to do things. The wrong way and the right way. You do it the wrong way, do it the right way.

[B]

And then by the. When we finally set up the cameras, you're zoomed into where you couldn't even tell where the edge of the backdrop was anyway.

[A]

But I knew.

[B]

Yeah, you did.

[A]

Well, the thing is, do you want me as the. As the face of this company, do you want me to not be able to sleep at night and be less. Less on my A game?

[B]

I'm not worried about analy of zero GS.

[A]

Yeah, that's true.

[B]

Yeah. That's what feels. Something that feels like hell is sleeping on regular GS.

[A]

Just sleeping in GS.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

GS in general.

[B]

An actual one is kind of like. Kind of like Jared's having to turn off a piece of equipment to talk to somebody. So, like, if I'm mowing the lawn and somebody has to come out to talk to me and I got to shut my mower down.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God, it does suck.

[A]

Yeah, it's just like, also, I.

[B]

It's one of the.

[A]

I usually default to hand signals at that point, but that's how it's one of these. Or like, just maybe go away.

[D]

Well, your house is on fire.

[C]

Like. Yeah.

[A]

Although then I would go. Then I would go like this. Get the hose.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, okay.

[C]

Five gallon bucket.

[B]

But then it just makes you do the hand signals and then they still want to talk, and then you got to do the shut it off. Know, you. You're all shitty about it.

[C]

What you take.

[A]

I think I would run. You know how, like, if you throw your mower in the parking brake. You can still leave it on and get up. I would much rather put it in the parking brake, get off the mower, walk further away and talk to them than shut the mower off 100%, as dumb as that is.

[C]

Yeah. Are you talking push mower or rider?

[B]

Rider.

[C]

Okay, I'll just. I'll just. I'll just crank that baby down to the. Down to the turtle, down to the tortoise. And if I can't hear you, then we're gonna have to have this conversation later.

[D]

Or put a brick on the seat and then towards them and talk to them.

[C]

Yeah, that's not. That's not a bad move either. Yeah. I mean, talking. Talking over a mower, even on the tortoise, is like talking to an old person.

[B]

It is. It is a lot of volume issues and things that feel like hell.

[C]

Yeah. Another thing that feels like hell. Taking down a rainbow playset and putting it back up.

[B]

Yeah. Yep.

[D]

Well, it's a great one. Another thing, when your sports team has bad owners.

[A]

Oh, God, I can't imagine.

[D]

Sports fan.

[A]

That's.

[C]

Hell, yes.

[D]

The Twins are going through that right now.

[A]

So how many of your favorite sports teams, Jared, would you say have bad owners that you're currently in hell?

[D]

Probably just one. Maybe one and a half.

[B]

There's the half. The T Wolves.

[D]

I'm not a T. Wolves fan.

[B]

Really? Really?

[D]

I would say the. The Knicks and the James Dalan. He's kind of a weirdo, but he has a good team.

[A]

So your team is the Knicks?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I didn't know that because I hated

[D]

the T Wolves growing up because they were dog. They were really bad. After KG left.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

After KG left.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

And then.

[A]

So you gave up.

[D]

I gave up on them and I went to the Knicks. I like their logo. And then they had Amari, Carmelo and Chauncey Billups. That's what kind of did it for me.

[A]

So. Yeah. So the Twins are your biggest bugaboo right now.

[D]

Yeah. Big time. Vikings have good owners.

[B]

Yeah, the Wolves are great.

[D]

Yeah. So I can't complain about that.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, everyone I know that's a Cleveland Browns fan is they perpetually live their whole life in hell or a Jets fan?

[B]

Jets fan, Cowboys fan, Chicago Bulls.

[C]

What about the. What about Vince McMahon? Did you think, is he a good owner? Was he a good owner?

[D]

So. Really?

[B]

Yeah. Loaded.

[A]

We got time.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Did he run?

[A]

There's got to be. WWE fans. Love to hear your take on Vince McMahon.

[D]

He's a piece of.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

For sure.

[A]

Personally A piece of big time. What about in terms of managing the

[D]

business for about 20 to 30 years, owning the company? Did a really good job to the tail end of it. He did a pretty bad job.

[C]

Is that because of age?

[D]

Yeah, just the booking decisions and pushing the wrong people and just making the product more stale.

[C]

Sure.

[D]

In general would probably be the bugaboo with that.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Why is that?

[D]

Just getting old, out of touch. Try to do, not doing new things. And then when they try new things, it's just really bad.

[B]

But then the WWE catch a lot of flack for going a full 180 on like Pete making it PC.

[D]

Yeah. That was like the first big thing. So they were like very like, you know, we were talking about the DX chops.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

That was from the Attitude era and like Stone Cold the Rock.

[C]

Nwo.

[D]

Nwo. Yeah.

[B]

Sort of like even the bad guys were tame.

[D]

Yep. And then it turned into like PG with like John Cena and just a very. Almost too family friendly at some point.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

I think Vince just steered way too much into that. But the company did make a lot of money because it's more kid friendly, you could sell more merch, all that stuff. So I mean, financially was probably the right move, but the product kind of suffered.

[A]

Interesting.

[C]

Yeah. I had an NWO shirt growing up.

[D]

It's not really Vince, but you're. Yeah, go ahead.

[B]

I had a DX shirt. It was sweet.

[A]

I think another thing that feels like hell is getting caught in a conversation with people talking sports cards. Oh, yes,

[D]

thank you.

[A]

Like, when Ryan and Jake start talking sports cards, I, I have so many other better things to go do suddenly. Even if I got nothing going on, I suddenly am busy.

[B]

You can get him back if you want.

[C]

No, it's fine. I mean, I, I, I like, I get it. I understand. And I try and keep it to a minimum as much as possible.

[A]

No, I think you do a good job.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think Jake brings out the worst in you.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. And well, Jake's not here all the time either, so there's a lot of stuff I gotta catch up with him on.

[B]

Built up.

[C]

Yeah. In terms of. Yeah. Sports card industry.

[A]

You and Jake have the strangest relationship of anyone I've ever met.

[C]

We do.

[B]

We so mean to each other. Apart. And then together you're like, hey, you want to talk about cards for 30 minutes? I missed you.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You get that new Honus Wagner?

[C]

Yeah. Tto the honey wagon.

[B]

Want to retire now.

[C]

Be great.

[B]

So that feels like hell. I'll get him back for You, Ryan, pretending you care what somebody shot in golf.

[A]

It's very up there with fantasy.

[B]

Yeah. Yep.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Do I do that a lot?

[B]

Not as much. The last, like, two years ago, when you were hitting this simulator hard and then golfingish right before, it's, like, kind

[A]

of getting good, though. That's the thing.

[B]

Yeah. And it was.

[A]

I was, like, right before I had my kid, I was, like, pretty good.

[C]

I was kind of striking it. Yeah.

[B]

We talk. You talked about a lot, and I was like, yep, same score as yesterday.

[A]

That's. But that's good.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Yesterday was good. So I did it again today.

[B]

Miles, we have work to do.

[A]

You know, God forbid a guy's got a hobby.

[C]

Yeah, that's right. I get it. Like, you. Yeah. You got hobbies you want to talk, Especially if, like,

[B]

if.

[C]

If. Like, if you don't have anyone directly to talk about, if they don't work at this company that shares that hobby with you. It's like, you have to share with people here because we're around each other every day.

[B]

That's true.

[C]

You know, my wife, that I've tried talking, I've. I've just kind of give her little snippets of the sports card industry just to make sure she knows I'm. What I'm doing is still okay. I'm being financially responsible. She doesn't care.

[A]

No.

[C]

She acts like she does, which I appreciate.

[A]

Yeah. My wife only cares about my golf scores because. Well, I don't even have to tell her. She just knows what score I got, depending on my mood when I get home.

[D]

How hard you slam the door when you get it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's just like how loud you yell when you walk in the house. By the way, thank you.

[A]

No, it's like.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Most of the time now I'm, like, pretty consistently Tyler in the 80s.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So if I'm shooting in the 80s, I am just. I'm a normal person. When I come home, if I'm going higher than that, pretty upset, and then lower than that, I'm like, all right, let's. Where should we go? Out to eat? Get some.

[B]

Should we celebrate?

[D]

Should we? At the clubhouse?

[C]

They got edible arrangements here for guys shooting under 82

[B]

a basket. Congratulations.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You go out to dinner, and it's like, is it anyone's. Are we celebrating anything? I shot 78 today.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Do we get a free dessert?

[B]

They treat you like a kid. Good job, buddy.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Instead of senior. Your driver's license, they ask for your scorecard.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that's a. There's a course that makes you pay your score for your first beer after your round. So if they can shoot a hundred, you pay a dollar. So you bring your scorecard in. If you shoot a 76, you pay 76 cents for your first beer.

[A]

That makes sense. That's what I thought you were saying. Yeah.

[C]

100 bucks for your first beer.

[B]

Yeah. No, it's pennies, but it's kind of a cool deal.

[C]

Yeah, I do like that.

[A]

What else you guys got?

[D]

I'm getting a Charlie Horse in the middle of the night. That feels like hell.

[A]

Yeah, I will piggyback off of that. It. This. This one's really up there for me. When you know you're gonna puke, but you haven't puked yet. Oh, my God.

[C]

That was me last Sunday.

[A]

Sometimes it's 10 seconds, sometimes it's like a full two minutes. And it is the biggest hell knowing you're about to throw up. Very similar to Charlie Horse. You're like, my leg's never not gonna be Charlie Horsing, and this is hell.

[B]

The. The puke thing is like, I've got to the point where if I even feel like I could throw up, I'll just go throw up.

[C]

I'll just go sniff the toilet.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's almost.

[B]

If I start gagging, I'll puke. Because, like, you don't ever feel worse after throwing up. Your stomach doesn't feel worse. Usually like 90 of the better. Yeah, just go do it. Feels like heaven. Because that middle. That middle ground sucks so bad.

[C]

It does. Yeah. Cold sweat.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

Shaking to the sleeping thing. Just waking up too early because you got a pee or Charlie Horse or whatever and not being able to fall back asleep. Like, 3:45, you're up, and you're just like, well, yeah, I'm gonna lay here for an hour, and then I'm not gonna be able to fall asleep. And if I do fall asleep, I gotta get up in an hour anyway.

[D]

There you go on your phone.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Another thing that feels like hell is when you think you got nothing going on for the weekend, but you do, in fact, have stuff going on that your wife probably told you about, but you forgot. And you get home and she's like, oh, all right. You gotta.

[D]

What do you.

[A]

You gotta go change. We gotta leave. And you're like, what?

[D]

I just took an edible.

[A]

I mentally already took my bra off.

[B]

This sort of happened to me 12 hours ago. I was like, this weekend, I want to put my food plots In I've got, I want to start that Saturday morning so that I can have them in. We can show the rest. She's like, we're going to Fargo on Saturday morning.

[D]

Oh my God,

[A]

that sucks. That's hell.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I feel like it. Like the weekend before a vasectomy consultation is almost like a bat, like a bachelor party weekend.

[D]

You're right.

[B]

I should get the weekend.

[C]

Yeah, you should. Yeah, because it's like this is your last weekend potentially before your vast difference.

[B]

Well, no. What if he said I got an opening right now and then I can

[C]

get you, I can get you not new.

[A]

If I know anything about doctors, they're not going to say they have an opening right now.

[B]

I, I will tell them like any. The earliest available. If you have a 9:15, I'll take it.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Skip your lunch.

[B]

Yep. If somebody cancels, call me.

[C]

They have like a, like a don't eat 24 hours before the consultation or like don't eat pineapple or anything before the consultation.

[B]

No, no, I haven't gotten any specific dietary instructions on the cons.

[C]

Because you haven't had the console.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay, I'm falling off.

[D]

Don't eat before the console.

[C]

Just in case.

[B]

We can get you in. We don't want you to be nervous,

[C]

you know, cancellation or something

[A]

dumb.

[D]

That'd be a good bit by a doctor to do that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Doctors aren't doing enough.

[D]

Drink a gallon of water before the cut.

[B]

I just want to see what your bladder control is. Like be a funny prank.

[C]

I want to see how strong your

[A]

would be funny to like do like don't do this before your consult. Like don't murder anyone. Don't drink and drive.

[C]

Don't buy a new. Don't buy a new truck. It'll affect your credit score.

[A]

Yep. Don't try and sign up for a new credit card. You'll get a hard in inquiry on your credit.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Do fall for your car's extended warranty.

[A]

It's just a bunch of stuff that's just good rule of thumb not to do in general.

[D]

Thanks, doc.

[A]

Thanks, doctor.

[D]

An airplane when the air goes out that feels like hell.

[A]

Oh yeah. Like sitting on tarmac and there's no AC going anymore.

[D]

Sometimes it's in the air too.

[B]

Or the air that's coming out is just like real weak and still kind of warm until the plane starts moving.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. I've been on flights where like that like the air doesn't work like mid flight spirit.

[A]

Oh, I remember which one I think on airplane. What Feels like hell is being fat and sitting next to a fat person. It's my personal hell doubled up. You just spend the whole thing. It's just sucks.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And your fast touching each other.

[A]

Being fat on the airplane sucks.

[C]

And then when you.

[A]

And then I can say that because I've done that.

[D]

Would you rather be really fat or really tall on an airplane?

[A]

Oh, really tall.

[B]

Because you can get.

[A]

You're sitting the most time and you can kind of scoot your legs underneath. You can get the exit row. Yeah. Get some extra leg room.

[D]

That's fair. Was a bad question.

[A]

No, it wasn't a bad question.

[B]

It wasn't. One thing that genuinely.

[A]

But like if I'm a fat person and I can buy two seats chilling.

[D]

It's true.

[B]

Oh. One thing that probably genuinely feels like biblically accurate. Hell is a hot Porta Potty on a job site.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

Just smells like, like brimstone and fire. It's a million degrees in there.

[C]

It's a place to be though if you're. If you're in the middle of puking and not.

[B]

I'd rather puke outside than in one of those things.

[C]

But if you need, if you need a trigger.

[A]

Trigger.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. It wouldn't take long because one big inhale in there your body's going to. No reject that.

[A]

Yeah. It's like a double edged sword though because you are getting out of work for being in there. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I agree there are some Porta Potties you'd rather just be working.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Than. And that's tough. It's a tough spot to be. Some shits are supposed to be your, your oasis at the. At your job, you know.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like that's the 45 minutes you get every day.

[B]

There are some Porta Potties that make me consider my pants instead.

[A]

That's not true. There's no Porta Potty on earth that you'd rather your pants.

[B]

I mean if it was covered in. I would absolutely rather outside.

[C]

If it's like a. Like a Mount Everest coming up to the. Just seeds.

[A]

Yeah. Like you sit down, you drop your balls in and then just touching the top of.

[D]

Touching the peak of mountains of Mount

[C]

It'd be funny to put like a little tiny flag on top of.

[D]

Wouldn't be funny.

[A]

And I'll be disgusting.

[C]

Well, you would have to touch it. You just grab the top of the flag.

[A]

Disgusting.

[C]

Yeah. I think sometimes we take it. We. We take for granted not having to. In a Porta Potty every Day.

[D]

That's true.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Nice plumbing.

[A]

That is true.

[D]

Great perspective.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Needed that, Ryan.

[C]

Yeah, we got pretty nice tp. We got nice to like. Like hard flushes, too.

[A]

Those suckers.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's the beauty of an industrial flusher is that you don't have to wait for the tank to fill up.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

If it's a double flusher.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

Yeah, because I put, like, marbles down the toilet like, twice a week. Always gets it all.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I'm doing quarters.

[A]

Seems like a waste of money. I'll do a some money on marbles.

[C]

Whole corn on the cob. Damn near summertime corn on sweet corn season. Watch out. Need an industrial flusher.

[A]

So I think another thing that feels like hell is waiting in line for something you already don't even want to be doing.

[D]

Like returning something.

[A]

Returning to something. Having to wait in line.

[C]

Dmv. Yeah.

[A]

Like you. You get tasked with picking something up from Walmart on your way home. There's a huge line. Just terrible.

[D]

Are you running an errand for your wife? You have to do something like that. That makes it worse.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It feels like hell.

[D]

It's waiting.

[A]

I think also something that feels like hell is ordering something from, like, doordash, and it shows up and it's. It's not. It's one, not the food that you ordered. And two, it's like, not even something that you really want to eat or

[B]

it says it's delivered, and then they send the picture and it's not your front step.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Where the is it? You're like, your. Your neighbors all become suspects for stealing your food. Like, well, it's not there. Maybe they took it inside. Yeah.

[C]

And then it's like. It's like Pizza Hut and a white wine or something.

[B]

Yeah. Yep. That's. That's my usual order.

[A]

I would never order Pizza Hut.

[C]

No, that's what I'm saying. If the order was wrong, it came in as Pizza Hut and Pizzas the Hut. Yeah. I mean, another person. How that I think all of us have felt before is when you walk into the garage with a mountain of boxes that need to be broken down. That'll get a guy fired up real quick.

[B]

Wild scenario. My wife broke down my boxes the other day and brought them to recycling.

[C]

No.

[D]

What a cow.

[B]

I had a big box for a leaf blower I bought and a couple other things, and I just had them sitting in the garage waiting to go to recycling. She broke them down and brought them. So shouts to you, lady, you better

[A]

wife that woman up I should.

[B]

I should knock her up a couple times.

[A]

You should knock her up out of wedlock.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then go to plan to marry her and then knock her up again and have to delay the wedding.

[B]

Yep. And then have one kid that's a non. Bastard.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, he's. I mean, he's gonna get. He's getting all the will. Right?

[B]

Yeah. He's my rightful. He.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You two might need a separation period before next week. You might have to.

[B]

That's true.

[C]

Get her a hotel room in Fargo or something. You stay home.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Just.

[A]

I'm gonna put on the console before the.

[C]

Again.

[B]

If he can get in, I can get it.

[C]

Tyler, they're not. They're not. I don't think they get it.

[B]

I think.

[D]

I think you get it.

[B]

No, no, no. I. I'm with Ryan.

[C]

I'm on the side of the guy getting the consult.

[B]

Like, I'm gonna ask him if they could snip me right then and.

[D]

Right. I'll pay you 100 bucks that Tyler doesn't get a vasectomy within the next week.

[C]

Well, I don't want to. No, what I'm saying is if there's a chance. The chance is small, but there could still be a chance.

[B]

Yeah. In the words of a country singer who. I don't know. If there's a chance. Take it. Take it if you've got a chance.

[A]

That's Cody Johnson.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Kojo for short.

[A]

You got a chance. I am live.

[C]

Pretty good.

[A]

Pretty good.

[D]

You were hammered. Front row.

[B]

I might just up.

[C]

Jesus Christ.

[D]

Binocular flat.

[C]

Yeah, I was just gonna say some chicken. Firm binoculars. Second row. You got eye issues.

[D]

We can't see.

[A]

No, that was that time. That was, I think Darius rucker back in 2001. 1.

[B]

Oh, this huge Darius guy. I am his whole career, Hootie. All the way to country.

[C]

Hootie and the Blowers.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Put some respect.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Put some respect.

[C]

A lot of respect for him. We wouldn't have Wagon Wheel without Drock.

[D]

Yes, we would.

[A]

That's crazy. That's crazy.

[B]

Like one of his few songs.

[A]

That is actually. We would have without him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hence why he didn't know that.

[C]

No, I did.

[A]

There's no way you knew that.

[C]

Hootie and the Blowfish sings the original one.

[B]

No,

[D]

We wouldn't have Wagon Wheel.

[A]

That's really funny. It's really, really good. Like one of the most famous covers of all time.

[B]

It is true that a lot of people don't know it's a cover, though.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I'm not one of those people.

[B]

Old chrome medicine show. That's the same as the original.

[A]

I couldn't remember who sang it.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, it's like we wouldn't have Fast Car without Luke Combs. It's same situation.

[B]

We wouldn't have Hurt without Johnny Cash.

[A]

Oh, man. Anything else, you guys? I mean, I feel like I could sit here and do this all day.

[B]

The things that feel like hell.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Anything. Hungover, I think that's.

[A]

Or having to do something with major responsibilities while drunk still, you know, like, you get a ride home from the bar. You get home and, like, your water heater goes out or like your. Like your furnace goes. Goes out, you know, and you gotta, like, try and navigate that while a little drunk. That sucks.

[D]

That is. Yeah.

[A]

Or like, you're out the bar or something. Like your buddy, like, has a. Like, he. Like he's bleeding, you know, and then all of a sudden you have to, like, try and sober up and, like, be responsible and make the correct decisions on what to do. That sucks.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. You're just trying. You're trying to put a sentence together.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Try your hardest.

[A]

Oh, God. How deep is it? Oh, that's de. You're stacking hells.

[C]

I can't.

[A]

Having to be responsible while also trying not to puke.

[C]

Yeah, I can't. We gotta call an ambulance. I don't have health insurance. You can't call the ambulance. I can't. Yeah, we gotta call an Uber doordash.

[A]

But then I'm gonna get a 200 charge for blood everywhere.

[C]

Uber. That's true.

[D]

Charge.

[A]

Their bone is sticking out of your. And then there's a guy, while this is going on, comes up to you, starts talking sports cards, and it's a

[C]

conversation you can't get out of because it's. I mean, it's. It's an important conversation. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Honey waggy. Can we get him to the hospital?

[C]

Rookie or Cooper flag.

[B]

They have to cut the engine on the ambulance so they can hear you.

[A]

Yeah, you're trying to talk over the engine of the ambulance and the siren. Engine of the ambulance. Great band name.

[C]

Yeah, it is.

[A]

All right, should we take a break?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, guys, the sun is officially shining again.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Feels good.

[C]

Comes up tomorrow.

[A]

That sun comes up and you got a long drive. Me and Jared about to embark on a long drive headed east. And we're gonna start in the morning. And thank God I'll be wearing my Shady Ray sunglasses right here. Look at that. You guys look good in them. It's not a lot of stuff that makes you guys look good, but these Shady Rays make you guys look good.

[D]

Hey, thanks.

[B]

I'll take whatever I can get to make.

[C]

That's huge coming from you.

[D]

It's the nicest thing you've ever said.

[B]

Yeah, dude. Damn.

[A]

No, I. Shady rays, I like it. They're. They're nice, high quality sunglasses. You know, like, it feels like they're not going anywhere, but you're not getting the crazy price that some sunglasses come with. And Tyler, I know you like a good, good deal.

[B]

I do. I love good deals.

[A]

And the, the value that you get out of these bad boys are nice. They're polarized, they're comfortable. They look good. You guys look good. Ryan looks like he's about to hit a dinger over the fence.

[C]

Yeah, it's like when you got a pot at 4 and hit clean up at 5. Hey.

[B]

Yeah, I love a deal. I like, they're already a good deal, but they're even better with our code.

[A]

Hell yeah. Yeah, we got a code. Which I'll tell you in a sec. But I wasn't done talking.

[B]

I just, I don't excited about the deal.

[C]

Yeah, we'll get there, Tyler.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I was saying is I. You guys know I got a lot of sunglasses. You do a lot of sunglasses. I'm a notorious multi sunglasses guy. And Shady Rays has got all different types of. Of styles that you got. Like, I like the aviator style. Tyler's got the.

[B]

These are the Mojaves.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I got the apex. I got the apex. The apex are. They're like, like golfing sunglasses because they're like the color rush feature to where they like illuminates.

[B]

Not the right word, but like it mutes the greens.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You can see the ball better when you lose your ball.

[A]

That's what those are. Yeah, I gotta get parallel. That's nice. And then. I didn't even know that. I'm learning stuff with the audience here.

[C]

We were just talking this before we started this segment. These would be great shed hunting glasses. Yeah, great shed hunting glasses.

[A]

So guys, if you wanna. If you. If you're in. In need of a new pair of sunglasses for the summer, you gotta go to shadyrays.com and use code YBR. Listen to this deal. 40% off two or more pairs that are polarized.

[C]

That's a phenomenal.

[B]

That's phenomenal.

[A]

It's. It's not, but it's, it's, it's. It's like they're giving pretty close enough. So 40% off two or more pairs of polarized sunglasses. Use code YBR and shady rays. Check them out. All right, Jared, we're back. What do we got going on?

[D]

Doing a draft.

[A]

We're doing a draft. Yeah, we're drafting. It seems like we are somewhat in drafting season. I feel like we've been doing a lot of drafts lately.

[D]

I love drafts.

[A]

I mean, we know. Didn't you go to the NFL draft at one point?

[D]

I probably won't go again. I went to in Vegas like three years ago.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. So I was talking to a guy over the weekend and it's just unprompted. He just. He just. He basically. He was doing the what feels like hell segment to me. Just. He was just raw dog a podcast to me. And we were watching the NFL draft and he just started going off about how he. He can't think of anything worse in his entire life than being stuck at the NFL draft. Really? So many fucking people. What if you got a piss? Gotta be gone for 45 minutes. Just.

[D]

No, he's not far off. Because I remember I went and there's a hundred thousand people there in a big old parking lot and there's like no chairs. So you're standing like on asphalt in Vegas for like three plus hours. And my legs were.

[A]

So it was valid for him to be going on this ramp.

[D]

Yeah, he's not far off.

[A]

And so by going once, you'll never go again?

[D]

Probably not. It might be in Minneapolis, I might go to that. But I'm not going to travel for it again. Maybe if it's in Vegas I would. But there he is.

[B]

Maybe if one of these eight specific things happen, I'll do it.

[D]

Twist my arm.

[A]

Not necessarily draft news, but post draft news. Quarterback at my alma mater msum got picked up by the Atlanta Falcons.

[B]

Pretty sweet for D2.

[A]

Shout out Jack Strand for getting picked up by NFL teams straight out of Moorhead, Minnesota.

[D]

Crazy.

[C]

What's crazy? It would have. It could have been you.

[A]

I mean, injured. I mean, it's just also goes back to the fact of like if your program has a great foundation laid, future players can really thrive.

[B]

Is he related?

[A]

And we're talking. The foundation was really laid probably between 200112011 to about 2015. Foundation was laid. And then ever since then, just talent coming out of there because. Because of the players that came before and just sacrificed.

[C]

So what you're saying is like the players from 211 to 2015, they walked so everyone else could run.

[A]

So everyone else could get signed by An NFL team and get. Make a lot of money.

[D]

Sure. And some walk off.

[A]

Yeah, that's right. So just a little draft news, Little local news for you.

[C]

Oh, that's cool.

[A]

On the ticker. Put that on the. Jared, I want you to put. I want you to put a ticker breaking news on the bottom of this podcast breaking news video.

[B]

When this comes out, that news is like two and a half weeks old.

[C]

Breaking news.

[D]

I like the idea of a ticker.

[A]

We need to start doing a ticker. You know, it started with, like, traditional sports, and now and then Pat McAfee does it ticker on his YouTube show, you know?

[D]

Yeah, Yeah, I could have a ticker. Like Tyler's consult is this week or something.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Breaking news. Yeah,

[B]

you gotta get a breaking news button on the soundboard.

[D]

Oh, I do. Yeah.

[A]

Not sure what it would be, but.

[D]

Yeah, I need one.

[B]

Just like the. The trumpets or whatever.

[A]

You know, like a podcast that never talks really about current news. Needs a current news ticker and a

[D]

podcast that's taped, not live.

[B]

Like, we never even post day of recording. It's always a couple days. So the breaking news, no matter what, is not breaking anymore.

[C]

Anymore. We have to see to the future to make it breaking. Yep.

[B]

Breaking news. It is Wednesday.

[A]

We could just do news. We don't have to do breaking news. Let's do news ticker.

[D]

Yeah, I'll do the AP news ticker and just have that puppy going.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So anyways, we're doing a draft. What are we doing?

[D]

Weekend at the lake draft.

[A]

So is this. This could be anything. Cba, cpa. Could be anything on a weekend at the lake.

[D]

Yep. It's got to be a weekend, though.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah. It can't be a Friday.

[B]

Okay. You can't draft Monday.

[A]

Well, is Friday the weekend Friday?

[D]

I'll allow Friday night?

[A]

Friday at 5, Friday beyond.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Until Sunday at midnight.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, I think a weekend kind of ends around, like, 7pm on a. On a Sunday.

[D]

I go earlier.

[C]

What if it was like, Labor Day the following Monday? Do you count that too?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is this a lot? Can we count a long weekend?

[D]

Sure.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Okay. All right.

[A]

What if. What if the 4th of July is on a Wednesday? Do we get Monday Tuesday off, or is it Thursday?

[B]

That's up to you.

[A]

Okay, so we'll go. We'll go. Any. Let's say that's the scenario. Any. A lake Long Lake weekend draft. Friday at 5 to Wednesday at midnight.

[C]

Okay. Wednesday after fireworks, whenever. Those are.

[D]

No, Thursdays. Okay.

[C]

No Thursday, the fireworks, bleeding. A Thursday but then that, that also so constitutes four picks.

[D]

Yep. Four picks.

[A]

Okay, who gets to go first? Jared, you go first. You never go first.

[D]

Okay, I'll go first. Got get my list up. One sec.

[A]

You got a draft, Ford. Jesus.

[D]

I just took a few notes.

[A]

Klaw.

[D]

I'm gonna take ice.

[A]

You're taking ice?

[B]

Dude,

[A]

like the agents or like the cold water?

[D]

The age, though. Take the cold water. Ice. Cold water. Ice.

[A]

I was gonna say.

[D]

What a wild first pick.

[A]

We don't do politics on this podcast.

[C]

Breaking news.

[D]

Jared took.

[A]

I. Jared confirmed. Republican loves ice and ice. Number one overall.

[C]

Ice is like plus 60,000 to get taken. Number one overall. Somebody on. Yeah, whatever. Somebody on whatever futures app, prediction app. They want a lot of money.

[A]

They want a lot of money.

[D]

Big time.

[C]

That happens to be you.

[D]

Yep. So tipping the scale, that's your pick. Yeah.

[A]

So the rest of us don't.

[C]

I think you could have got that later.

[A]

I do think you could have got delayed. But now I like. I can't have any cold drinks.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So who's up?

[B]

What's the order?

[D]

Go with you, Tyler.

[B]

Okay, well, I. This ch. Jared's ice pick changed. As my first pick, I got to go with a fridge stock with beer or my shit's going to be warm.

[A]

Jared, why did you do this?

[D]

I don't know. I didn't think I'd go first. I thought be a great third overall pick.

[B]

You're impacting the draft.

[D]

I am. Butterfly effect.

[A]

Okay, so you're going fridge stock with beer. Yes. Okay. For my number one pick, I'm going to go a. A swim up bar in the lake.

[B]

Nice. Nice.

[A]

With unlimited supply of boots.

[B]

That's so much upside and so much

[A]

an unlimited supply of booze.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Which is. Yes, it's a bundle.

[C]

Okay. Yeah.

[A]

And we can put, there's an umbrella too with the swim up bar. So I'm not getting burnt.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey. Getting burnt.

[C]

Well, apparently I'm just gonna be sober because you took beer, you took booze, and you took ice. So I, I, I mean there's, I guess there's water left.

[A]

Or your college buddies.

[C]

My college buddies. Okay.

[B]

That's not a bad one for a lake weekend.

[C]

Dude. My first round pick is going to be a wakeboarding boat with each sl. Each slot filled with a surfboard.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

And my college buddies in the front.

[A]

No, that's too much of a bundle.

[B]

I don't mind it. I don't mind it because those do go hand. I know they're different, different worlds, but

[C]

they go surfboard goes with the wake boat. That's goes handy is the bundle buddies.

[B]

College buddies.

[A]

In a surfboard you have two picks in a row. You can pick your college buddies for the next pick. For the next pick.

[B]

Well, just try to double bundle. Ryan. Go College buddies and something I'm helping here. I'm colluding.

[C]

Yeah. Unlimited supply of gas.

[A]

All right. For my next pick, I'm gonna pick Ryan's college.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You left them on the table.

[C]

No, I thought I bought it in the first place.

[B]

Can't.

[C]

But the, the, the surfboard dollars of the surfboards they just naturally go with the wake boat.

[A]

No, I know. That was your bundle for that picked unlimited gas.

[C]

Those don't get bundled. Cuz those are already, those are just one entity. The college buddies was the bundle.

[A]

No, we said.

[B]

No, I, I, I was in on it. I thought you could have it.

[C]

Where, where are you at? Jared.

[B]

We're split. Jared's the tiebreaker on does he get the college buddies bundle?

[D]

You don't get the college buddies buddy's bundle.

[A]

Why, why can't we just do one of these without something like this happening?

[B]

Because it's just who we are.

[C]

Well, my college buddies aren't going to want to hang out with you guys, so you can't take them. I don't think I know a few

[A]

of your college buddies. I, I don't, I don't think they would pick me. Like maybe in their top 10, but they're not going to pick me in their bottom 10.

[B]

They're not drafting you. You first overall or second round. But you're drafting them second round.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100. They're not, they're not like, wow, I'd love to hang out with Miles this weekend at all. But they're like, if I'm gonna be there, they're gonna be like, yeah, I'll be fine. Yeah, I imagine.

[B]

Breaks up supplies me.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Bonfire. Somehow with no smoke.

[A]

Smoke. Oh wow.

[B]

It's just a perfect bonfire.

[C]

I don't know if you can bundle those two together.

[B]

Don't dig a hole because then they'll take your surfboards away.

[C]

I know you were on my side. Yeah, you're on my side.

[D]

I'm gonna take pontoon.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Pontoon. I like pontoon.

[A]

On the pontoon. I got a college buddy that, that, that's his least favorite song on planet Earth. He brings it up every time I talk to him.

[D]

Then he talks about the.

[A]

He hates it. He like, he hates that song so much.

[D]

I could see that you could play

[C]

it Though, because he's not going to be there. My college buddies are.

[A]

Correct. Ryan's college buddies.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

You gotta play Cypress Hill for Ryan's college buddies.

[A]

Be so bad it. All right, so you got a pontoon and ice.

[D]

Pontoon and ice. And then I'll go. Let's go Margaritaville.

[B]

God, you.

[A]

I mean, you got the ice. I would be useless in our hands.

[B]

That's true. That's true.

[D]

So I'll do a Margaritaville with that puppy.

[B]

That's good. Jared. I'm gonna go. Perfect weather.

[A]

I like that. You got quite the vibe going. No smoke at the bonfire. Perfect fridge full of beer. Perfect weather.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

It's windy and ready for the rest of us.

[B]

Yep. Yeah, you guys are toast. Dude, I got all the good.

[C]

Perfect weather is subjective. So like what? Like what is.

[A]

It's.

[B]

Whoever's there feels their perfect weather.

[C]

Okay, great.

[A]

Wow, that's. That's great. That is good. I think for my next pick I'm gonna go my college buddies.

[B]

On the pond tune.

[A]

I mean think about that. You got a swim up bar with unlimited booze with Ryan's college buddies and my college buddies.

[D]

You're going for a party.

[A]

Yeah. I mean this is. We're gonna be the talk of the lake

[B]

here.

[C]

I am just me in a wakeboarding boat with gas.

[B]

You got gas? Dude, that unlimited gas thing, you have unlimited money now. Who needs the straight of Hormuz when you got Ryan and his unlimited gas?

[C]

That's true. That's very true.

[D]

Straight up Sheely.

[C]

I got two picks in a row, don't I?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And these are the last ones.

[D]

You gotta make them good. Right.

[C]

I'm gonna take 36 holes of golf.

[B]

That's good.

[C]

That's a good. And then my fourth and last pick. I think I'm gonna take a fishing guide.

[D]

Okay, that's really great picks.

[C]

Yeah. So we're gonna rip 36 in the morning slash afternoon. Then we're gonna hit the night bite on the wakeboarding boat.

[D]

Are you golfing with the fish ride?

[C]

If we need a fourth, we will, but if not, he'll be scouting spots. He's gonna be pretty.

[A]

He's got unlimited gas so he can be out on the water.

[C]

He'll be pre fishing in the morning while we're hitting 18. He'll be doing his job while we're,

[B]

you know you're gonna have shitty weather.

[C]

But we don't know that though.

[B]

Well, I have it all.

[C]

If you have perfect weather, we could have just. We could have a good weather and good Walleye fishing always involves a good walleye chop.

[B]

Yeah. So I did the good west weather. I took perfect weather so you could have your walleye chop. I knew you were gonna take it.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Cahoots.

[C]

That's what I got.

[A]

I like it. I am.

[C]

Your high school buddies are still on the board.

[D]

My letter.

[A]

I was still friends with some of those guys in college, so that's kind of a bundle. So they come.

[B]

Yeah, you should have just said my friends.

[A]

I think for my last and final pick, I gotta stay on theme here. And I'm gonna go. There's going to be a barge about 200ft offshore, and it's going to be a concert. And the lineup's going to be Alan Jackson, Jimmy Buffett and Toby Keith. So this. This party's taking place a few years ago.

[B]

It could be a hologram situation like

[A]

Michael Jackson or they're just coming back from dead.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Their final concert, Water Zombie. And I think Alan Jackson, Jimmy Buffett and Toby Keith. Toby Keith's obviously the headliner. And. Yeah, it's gonna be the best day in the lake.

[D]

Do you want to sprinkle in oar as well, or. No?

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. And that's. Yeah, that's kind of like afternoon vibes, jam band, you know, and then at night, Toby Keith really sends us home. There's fireworks. The whole whole thing.

[B]

Thing.

[D]

Okay, so you're bundling fireworks with this barge thing too?

[A]

Well, does a concert not come with pyrotechnics?

[D]

Sort of.

[A]

So

[B]

mine is not too far off from yours. But it's different enough that I can take it. It's a really great lake bar with cheap prices and a local band. That's good. Not great. Just wanted to be good.

[C]

But it has no booze, though, because he has.

[B]

I have beer.

[A]

Yes, that's what I'm saying.

[C]

There's no booze, though.

[B]

That's fine. I have beer.

[A]

Doesn't beer booze?

[B]

I have. I have $50 beers at my lake bar.

[C]

That's a good price.

[A]

40s.

[C]

Yeah. Two for three.

[B]

And honestly, they're only charging us for every other one. They're losing track how many buckets we're getting.

[C]

Well, you got. You got some wood nickels, dude.

[B]

The buckets are warm, though, because Jared has the ice, so you got to drink the bucket fast as hell because they're only cold because of my fridge.

[C]

Fridge.

[A]

Well, you could do mini fridges at every table.

[B]

Yeah, we could. Personal. We don't buy buckets of beer. You buy a mini fridge of beer for Your table.

[D]

That's kind of a good idea.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, it's like a hotel. Like where they have the Fiji water and out. And if the seal's broken, you pay for it. Yeah, whatever's taken out of the fridge, you pay for it.

[B]

You can have. Take the fridge, but you're just gonna pay for it?

[C]

Yeah, the fridge is complimentary.

[D]

Go through a lot of fridges.

[C]

That's fine.

[D]

Yeah. I didn't do great prep for this. I'll take sunscreen.

[A]

Jared, we didn't do any prep for this.

[C]

Yeah, you're the only one with the draft.

[A]

Terrible excuse. It's a terrible excuse. I only did minimal prep for this. We didn't do any prep for this. You're taking sunscreen?

[D]

I'll take. So that was on my list. I thought they get. Yeah, I need sunscreen.

[A]

See?

[D]

See, I'll be on a pontoon, so I'm. Eat something.

[A]

So you got pontoon ice?

[D]

Margaritaville.

[A]

Margaritaville and sunscreen. That's a good vibe.

[D]

Yeah, very specific.

[C]

No drinks though, on the ice. Just. It's just. It's just a cooler of ice.

[A]

Well, he's doing snow cones.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And all.

[A]

Shaving the ice in the Margaritaville. Sure. Putting them in a snow cone.

[B]

Yeah, he's just making hella surely temples in the Margaritaville machine because nobody took grenadine or sodas.

[C]

No, it's true.

[A]

Yeah, he's doing. He's doing shaved Shirley. Def.

[C]

He's doing. He's doing miles. He's doing.

[D]

That's terrible.

[C]

He's doing dirty sodas.

[B]

Cream in there.

[C]

Yeah, dirty sodas and Italian sodas.

[D]

God.

[A]

God damn it.

[C]

Shaved Shirley.

[A]

All right, Tyler, what was yours?

[B]

Oh, I did fridge stocked with beer, bonfire with no smoke, perfect weather and a lake bar with a local cover band.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I got a swim up bar with Ryan's college buddies, My college buddies, and a concert of Alan Jack's oar. Alan Jackson, Jimmy Buffett and Toby Keith.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

Was Oera undrafted free agent?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I have a wake boat loaded with surfboards, unlimited gas, 36 holes, and a fishing guide.

[A]

Okay. But here's the thing. I. I would take any of these lake weekends.

[B]

They all. We do a good job of making different weekends, but all great. Great.

[C]

Yeah. How often do you get a pontoon day with shaved Shirley Temples?

[B]

Dude, I. I've never done that. I'd love to.

[C]

Sounds like a good time.

[D]

Be put on a list.

[C]

Sounds like a good time.

[A]

I would say that probably. What was yours again? Bonfire. I would say that probably most often I'm doing Tyler's weekend in reality.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Is probably what I do the most.

[B]

Yep. So it's good weekend.

[C]

Yeah. I've never done any of mine combined

[B]

as a whole one. You've done one probably of each of your picks.

[C]

Yeah. Yep. But never all of them combined.

[A]

Maybe this is the summer.

[C]

This might be the summer.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You gotta find a buddy with a

[D]

wake boat, an unlimited gas.

[C]

Unlimited gas. Yeah. I. E. The gas station. 36 holes and a fishing guide.

[D]

I think you could accomplish it.

[B]

I think so too.

[C]

Yeah. Get it too.

[B]

Do you know anyone with a wake boat and a bunch of surfboards?

[C]

I do.

[B]

Perfect.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Got that one.

[D]

You have golf clubs.

[B]

And I know you know and I know you know a fishing guide.

[C]

I know plenty of them. There we go.

[D]

So listeners can vote on who they think won or a comment.

[A]

I think I'm gonna win.

[B]

It's just a popular. You win every time.

[C]

Who does?

[B]

They just love you. Jared. Jared.

[C]

Yeah, he does.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Because no one's had shaved for the devils. They want to experience that on a pontoon with loads of sunscreen. Banana boat.

[A]

Copper tone kid.

[D]

Fun fact. So this will be. It's kind of the May 4th week. Week. So I got did a Star Wars.

[A]

Okay, let's go. Ryan's gonna hate it.

[D]

The Millennium Falcon was designed based on a burger with an olive on the side. TIE fighter sounds are elephant calls.

[A]

And

[D]

the moist Eisley cantina music is referred to as jizz, not jazz.

[B]

I. I knew the last one. I did not know those first two.

[C]

A.

[A]

A burger with an olive on the side. Has anyone ever done that?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Is that a thing?

[B]

I mean, I get when you look, you think of the Millennium Falcon, that it makes sense. But I've never seen the burger do that before.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Do what?

[B]

They have an olive just sticking out of the side.

[A]

All right. I'm gonna design a spaceship that's shaped. Shape like. That's shaped like a laptop computer with a condom on top. That's gonna be my spaceship.

[C]

The. The laptop carrying case is a condom.

[A]

Yeah, that's a good point. You know, like, what are we doing? Like. Yeah, it's a burger with.

[D]

The inspiration can come from anywhere.

[A]

Yeah, it's a. Dude.

[B]

I feel like they did a lot of that stuff with the early Star wars, though. Like, the first ever lightsaber was just the. The handheld to a flash for their camera gear. So, like they were just making shit up as they went.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

So the first Lightsaber in the original Star wars was part of a handheld flash. They needed a. Something that looked futuristic, that could be a laser sword. And it's just the flash from that they had on set. Set.

[A]

And that's what we see in the movies. Yep.

[B]

The very first one that Luke has when he's, like, looking at it with Obi Wan, that is a flash from one of the camera crews.

[D]

Oh, just like. Yeah. Camera equipment stuff.

[B]

Yep. So I think they were. They were, like, just figuring it out when they were shooting those movies.

[A]

Kind of like that, though.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, definitely can tell that they were still figuring it out in the movies, but

[B]

some of it, honestly. Yeah.

[C]

What was the second one?

[D]

The TIE fighter sounds are elephant calls.

[B]

It's very iconic sound for the Star wars universe. The TIE fighters, like, scream.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

The TIE fighters are the ones the bad guys fly.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

I'm just making.

[D]

I'm not too far off. That's pretty good.

[A]

It kind of is good.

[C]

Sounds like a distressed cat kind of.

[A]

This is distressed elephant.

[B]

Those are their lasers.

[A]

That's not. That's not it. Flying. No.

[C]

I've heard an elephant make that noise.

[B]

Yeah, that. That.

[C]

Okay. Okay, now I can hear it.

[B]

That's going to ruin it for me.

[D]

Just an elephant.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And what was the last one?

[D]

The most I.

[A]

Did you listen to any of the facts?

[C]

Well, I was trying to comprehend. The burger with an olive on the

[A]

side was a distracting first part of the fact.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Most ily cantina music referred to as jizz, not jazz.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

George Lucas did a lot of that where instead of coming up with something unique for the universe, he would just change one letter of something ours. So instead of J, it was before we called come jizz. He. So he just changed jazz music to jizz music. So now that's.

[A]

So what else did he do that for?

[B]

I have to find a list. I wrote a whole thing on it. Because the jizz thing is the most common fact. Fun fact. But there's, like, several other examples.

[A]

I guess that was a fun fact. Jared, may the fourth be with you. And also with you. Lift up your hearts. We lift them up to the Lord. Let us give thanks to the Lord our God. I don't remember the rest.

[C]

Okay, that's good Bible trivia. Finish. Finish this sentence.

[A]

That's not in the Bible. That's part of mass.

[B]

I know.

[A]

All right. Is that it, Jared? Well, guys.

[C]

And we're done.

[A]

Thanks for tuning in to another episode of you Bet yout Radio. Have a great Week. We'll see you in the next one.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

You have a chance to build a rest up off the interstate. How does yours look?

[A]

I actually, you know, they have the bathrooms. I want there to be a bathrooms only thing. But there to be. Let's say, let's go with 10 stalls men's, 10 stalls, five urinals. 10 stalls men, 10 stalls, women. And I want a staff of five people in each bathroom room. Just making sure that thing is immaculate.

[C]

I'd agree.

[A]

So there's one guy spraying cologne on you as you leave.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

One person handing you towels to wipe your hands off. The other three are constantly. Just. After every person goes to the bathroom, they clean the toilet.

[B]

One to shake you off when you're at the urinal.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Because this is my. This is my. This is my dream.

[D]

Right?

[A]

That's what I want. I want to get a border. Borderline shake off at the urinal. But that's immaculately clean because someone cleaned it right before. Yeah. I don't even want to touch the paper towels until I'm wiping them with my hands. And I'd love a shot of cologne and maybe a breath mint as I leave.

[D]

You better be tipping.

[B]

I also want troughs at mine Be tipping.

[C]

Okay. You want. You want just straight Metrodome troughs?

[A]

You have to clean a full trough after every person.

[C]

Huh.

[B]

Safe water.

[C]

I feel like if you brought your kid to the bathroom in a trough, you just, like jump in it. Yeah, it'd be gross swimming around and.

[B]

Well, there's not standing water.

[C]

No, I get that. But there's like, there's pee in there. There's pee on.

[B]

Not much. It's sunflower seeds and lots of sunflower seeds.

[C]

Pouches.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Wacky tobacky as well.

[C]

Y.

[A]

No, actually, not just regular tobacco.

[C]

I would like. I don't feel like rest stops have enough brochures. I would like a couple more brochures.

[A]

T shirt guy with the funn.

[B]

I mean, what about vending machines? Any more of those?

[C]

I would like a pop vending machine with not Pepsi options. I want Coke options.

[B]

I want a pop. I want a lot of vending machines where you can only get two kinds of pop because the rest of the buttons are broken.

[D]

Sold.

[C]

Yeah. I also want the pot to be less than a buck. Yeah, I mean, anything over a buck for a pop is absurd.

[B]

I also want water fountains where the water pressure is so bad you have to suck on the nozzle to get any.

[A]

But it's also. Those have never been cleaned, so it's just crusty.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's why the pressure.

[A]

You come up and you look like you just ate a powdered donut.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Thirsty.

[A]

That water's good. I was like, like straight from the teeth.

[C]

Like elementary school basketball when you get a water break, I would suck. I would suck on that fountain so hard.

[B]

You put your mouth on it.

[C]

Dude, the pressure was dripping out like

[A]

he was a weird homeschooled kid. We're finding out about his child and it's like he was homeschooled.

[B]

Right.

[C]

If that's. I'm saying the pressure was dog. So you had to suck on that.

[A]

You just don't go to that fountain.

[C]

That's the only fountain that was open at 8 at night.

[A]

Ryan. Ryan, 14 years old, first time ever in a real school. Sucks on the waterfall.

[C]

It was elementary school. I was probably 7 or 8 years old. Zimmerman elementary.

[A]

In reality, though, lots. I would like a food court as well. Food court, but only Chinese buffets.

[B]

Hell yeah. But then you got to change the name of one of them. Like in the mall here in Fargo, there's a. Two Chinese buffets right next to each other in the food court, but one just decided to say they were Cajun.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

Cajun Cafe.

[B]

And it's.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's just straight up low main. It's the same exact buffet.

[A]

Yeah, I would like that. Yeah. So I'd have a couple of those. I'd have giant panda and little panda next to each other as well.

[B]

Right. By Panda Express.

[A]

Panda Express.

[C]

If you're really in a pinch, like you gotta. You gotta get. Get back on the road.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And then I'd love a random like Rick's Chinese food as well, just to mix it in.

[C]

Yeah. Like a Rick Johnson.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Ricky J. RJ's. Yeah. So that would be nice because

[C]

what

[A]

are you gonna go. You're gonna go to Subway at a rest stop?

[C]

No, no, we need high class subways at rest. I mean, no, but theoretically speaking, no.

[B]

But yeah, not yet.

[D]

Maybe get your shoe shined.

[C]

That's what I was thinking. As you're coming out of the bathroom,

[B]

I want some really shitty hydro massages in mine that cost $35 for 15 minutes.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Why? I think that I'd like there to be a hotel at the rest stop as well. Yeah.

[C]

So B. Basically anywhere with a bathroom, you could put. You could put a water park at the rest stop. As long as they have a couple bathrooms, then it's considered. Stop.

[B]

I think I'll put a strip mall at mine. Too.

[D]

Yeah, maybe a resident.

[B]

You know what? I think I'm going to put the biggest strip mall of all time and then I'm going to call it Mall of the United States.

[D]

Albertville.

[C]

Yeah, I get it.

[A]

I think I would also want a shoe shine for my tennis shoes.

[B]

Jared said that already did.

[C]

You said that 30 seconds ago.

[A]

Wait, is that why my brain thought of it? I'm dead serious. I have. I had no clue you said that.

[C]

I like now looking at my watch probably 45 seconds ago.

[A]

I'd like to have a ballpark. I'd like to maybe just get a few cuts in maybe. Maybe not a full ballpark. Just a. A BP cage would be nice. So I can be a. I can be a cage rat for a few minutes while just to get the blood flowing before I continue on.

[D]

Maybe a golf course?

[C]

Actually yeah.

[A]

Maybe a top golf or a sweet shots.

[C]

I was gonna say a yoga studio at a restaurant might be nice for. Your back is getting.

[B]

Yeah, you gotta loosen up after a long drive.

[C]

Hot yoga.

[B]

I would like a sauna. I'd love just getting in a sauna with strangers at a rest stop.

[A]

That would be great. And then also it'd be so awesome to get back into the dripping sweat.

[B]

Right, Right.

[C]

They got no showers.

[B]

No showers though.

[A]

Well, no, they wasted all. Blew all their budget on that bougie bathroom.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Tyler kind of on showers.

[C]

Tyler Ziggler, your shower is ready.

[B]

It starts with the ch. Brian Sheily, your shower is ready.

[A]

Because it's so slow in the bathroom and have to do that for the bathroom too. Ryan Sheily, your rubbing tug is ready in the bathroom. Head to UR number four. There should be a tall gentleman waiting for you. Yeah.

[C]

If you enjoy your happy ending.

[B]

If you really like the guy that shook you off, there's an upcharge for a massage after.

[D]

Yeah, there you go.

[C]

Yeah. Back massage. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Or front.

[C]

Weird thing about my back is it's located.

[A]

Guys, that was a fun little snippet from our Patreon episode last week. You can find all of our patreon [e-mail] you bet your radio.