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Miles
Welcome back to you bet your radio podcast. Coldest podcast in all the Midwest. I'm Miles, you Bet you guy here with Ryan the T shirt guy. We are presented by Ice Mountain and we are live folks. No, we're back. This is the Christmas episode.
Ryan
Merry Christmas.
Miles
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. This is awkward.
Ryan
One of us is gonna have to change.
Miles
I had it on first.
Tyler
Well, I woke up at 5:00am and put it on.
Miles
I woke up at 4:00am that's the, that's the classic.
Tyler
It's only.
Miles
Yeah, vibes are good but also Ryan's running late.
Ryan
He's gotta get the.
Tyler
Well,406. I was told to be at Christmas at 5. About 35 minute drive from here. Down. Down. You gotta go. I gotta go down south.
Miles
You tell them to give me a call. I'll, I'll. I'll vouch for you.
Tyler
Yeah, no one, no one's gonna. Going to be a little bit late. Besides my wife like my father in law won't care. My mother in law is like, she likes just kind of like will it.
Miles
Help your cause if I text her and say like hey, I'm sorry, it was completely my fault Ryan's late.
Ryan
Probably.
Jared
I don't.
Tyler
Well, yes, it would. I, I don't know if she'll be that upset to where you'd have to. You would have to text her.
Ryan
But it would totally divert the anger off of you.
Miles
Yeah, it's on me. Yeah.
Tyler
And again there won't be a ton of anger but if there is even the slightest bit, then that probably would help. So.
Miles
Hey, I, I'll carry the load.
Ryan
Season of giving Miles is giving you a break tonight.
Miles
Hell yeah. Well, guys, Merry Christmas.
Ryan
Yeah.
Miles
Merry Christmas.
Jared
Merry Christmas.
Ryan
Forgot this was a Christmas episode. I always get you guys Christmas presents. I didn't this year.
Miles
I know. And you weren't doing jack all last week either.
Ryan
Oh.
Miles
Anyways, I was thinking the other day, Christmas is once a year as it is to my, to my knowledge. Yeah. So I was thinking of a new segment idea called what can you. What can you say at Christmas that you can't say any other time of the year? And I'll go first.
Ryan
Okay, please do.
Miles
At Christmas you can say this. If you said it any other time of the year, it'd be weird. And that is. I like the way your balls hang.
Tyler
It's an ornament reference.
Ryan
It totally is. Yes.
Miles
Wow, you got some nice hanging balls.
Ryan
I. I'm going to work this into Christmas somehow this year and try to make it not awkward still.
Miles
Yeah. No, I don't think it will be. Just don't do it when you're not standing by the tree.
Ryan
Okay.
Miles
You know, you don't want to walk in and just go, I like the way your balls hang. Make sure you're standing by the tree and be holding a ball in your hand. That's another thing you could do is you could have two balls in your hands.
Ryan
There's another thing you could say is, let me get a hold of those balls. Let me see if they got any weight to them.
Miles
Yeah, you know, it's like, oh, I won't say that. I won't say that one. So, Tyler, what else can you say?
Ryan
I mean, I. I took a little more literal. You can only say this around Christmas time. Hey, cuz, you want to go for a walk? If I said that any other time of the year, I'm getting some looks.
Miles
Yeah, you're not going for a walk with your cousin any other time of the year.
Ryan
Maybe Thanksgiving, so maybe it's stricken from the list, but more likely Christmas.
Miles
Ryan's usually like, hey, college buddy, let's go.
Ryan
Yes.
Tyler
So you're actually going for walks with your cousin?
Ryan
In my personal case, it is, hey, cuz, want to go to the basement?
Miles
Which also. Don't say that.
Ryan
Never say that. Any other time of the year.
Tyler
And do you call him cuz?
Ryan
No.
Miles
Okay, so what do you say? Hey, cousin.
Ryan
Yeah, I don't want to out him. My family listens. I don't want to out which cousin is bringing it to Christmas.
Miles
Hey, Billy.
Tyler
Yeah.
Ryan
Yeah. Hey, Billy, want to go to the basement?
Miles
What are you doing in the basement?
Ryan
Going for a walk.
Miles
What about you, Ryan?
Tyler
I'd probably say, ho, ho, ho, you.
Jared
Say at the strip club.
Tyler
I was going to say if you.
Ryan
Said we only goes on Christmas.
Tyler
If you said that any other time of year, like in a group with a group of females or as any females around you.
Miles
I.
Tyler
It's probably just not. There's a time and place for it, that being December 25th or, you know, the. The couple weeks leading up to it.
Ryan
There is always a drunk uncle at Christmas, too, that'll walk and be like, where my hose at?
Miles
Yep.
Ryan
Can't say that any other time.
Miles
No.
Tyler
God, no. You know, I take advantage of these three weeks. Three, four weeks that I can throw that out there. Any conversation I'm having.
Miles
I knew you were gonna go for that one. I knew you were gonna go for ho, ho, ho. It was just too obvious.
Jared
I didn't see it coming.
Miles
You didn't what's funny is we all had a different interpretation. Rules of the rules of the segment.
Ryan
I had another super literal one. Can't say Merry Christmas any other time of the year.
Miles
You're better than that.
Ryan
I know, I know. I was put on the spot.
Miles
Okay, okay, I'll go next. So you guys get more of a gist of what we're. You can't say this any time here. I can't wait for a big, sweaty guy to break into my house and eat all my cookies. You know, you just. You can't say that any other time of the year. Otherwise, just weird.
Ryan
See, here's. Here's where I went wrong in this segment is those are things I wouldn't say anyway.
Tyler
Yeah. Yeah, right.
Ryan
I thought it was stuff that I would say.
Miles
It's not stuff that you would say on Christmas. It's stuff that you can't say. You can say on Christmas, but you can't say any other time of the year.
Tyler
Yeah, you're right.
Ryan
You can't say that any other time.
Miles
That would be weird.
Tyler
I mean, you could, but that would be very weird.
Ryan
Hey, so if you have any small children listening to this podcast, skip forward 30 seconds. Right now. My grandpa dresses up.
Miles
I didn't say anything about.
Ryan
No.
Tyler
Spoiler alert.
Miles
Spoiler alert for the spoiler alert.
Ryan
For anyone irresponsible enough to let their kids listen to this grandpa.
Miles
After I just got done saying I like the way your balls hang.
Tyler
Yeah, but you could.
Ryan
Talking about a Christmas tree. Santa. Not real. Guys, I'm dressed up as Santa this year. I can't say this any other time. Hey, hop up on my lap, kid.
Tyler
No, you can't.
Miles
Don't say that. No, that would be bad.
Ryan
Yes, it would.
Tyler
I'm trying to, like, debunk what you. You literally can't say that.
Miles
No.
Ryan
There's no other instance. Right? Unless they're my own kids.
Miles
Yeah, then you're good.
Ryan
Then it's fine. Yeah, I can't be saying that any other time.
Miles
Even so just say, hey, come here. You know, you don't need to say hey, why don't you hop up here?
Ryan
Hey, my lap. Yeah, tell me what you want, kid.
Miles
Yeah, you think in today's culture we would have just progressed past kids sitting on sand? The weird Santa guy at the. At the mall?
Ryan
We haven't.
Miles
Like, you think they just have a bench that they can sit on? You know, if you're going to have a conversation with someone, it's actually way easier to talk to them if you're sitting across the table rather than going like this the whole time looking over.
Ryan
Your shoulder like a job interview.
Jared
Yeah.
Ryan
Have a seat. What would you like for Christmas?
Miles
Yeah, I mean, that seems way more practical than sitting on his lap.
Jared
Or it could be like a Zoom call with Santa.
Miles
Yeah, they probably did that during Company.
Ryan
I bet you they did. Somewhere had to have done that.
Miles
The Santa Claus. The mall was like, I still am getting paid. And they're like, fine, well, we're going to make you work then. In my contract it says I get paid this much every single day.
Jared
All right, put your on.
Miles
Yeah. And he's like, I guess I can't show up. And they're like, put your on. Here's the link. We'll see you in 20 minutes.
Ryan
And we got Zoom premium. So you're not going to run out of time, buddy.
Tyler
And it's got to be full body. You got to have pants on.
Miles
Yeah, you got to be wearing pants.
Jared
You got to get that background dial, man.
Miles
Yeah, that be funny. Like he just has to like he literally takes his laptop and puts it in his lap and points the camera up at his face for the kids.
Tyler
He's like, you're scrolling. Chat roulette. And just Santa with no pants on pops up.
Miles
I bet there, I bet there is plenty of those on some.
Tyler
I mean, there's got.
Ryan
The way those balls hang.
Tyler
There's got to be people making a killing.
Miles
Oh, these like ornament behind them.
Tyler
There's got to be people making a killing. That just will just photoshop your kid in with a picture of Santa. That's to avoid having to go to the mall.
Miles
But then your kids be like, that didn't happen.
Ryan
Yeah, but in 10 years they're not going to remember.
Tyler
All right, buddy, did you want to go sit on this 65 year old man's lap for. Just for a photo op.
Miles
Hey, you know, it would be funny, guys, if, if we went to the mall and we all sat on Santa's, that would be silly. As grown adults. Wouldn't that be hilarious? There's four grown dudes sitting on another grown dude's lap.
Tyler
Yeah, I'll take left knee all at the same time.
Miles
I call right upper thigh then.
Tyler
Yeah, I, I mean, odds are he's got some knee problems because he's probably that old. So I' knee. That's a little bit better. I weigh a little bit less. So take it easy on the guy.
Miles
Wouldn't that be funny?
Ryan
It would be hilarious.
Jared
I'll chat up with Mrs. Claus.
Miles
You're gonna riz up. Mrs. Claus at the mall.
Ryan
Merry ris.
Tyler
Smoking a joint. Happy holidays.
Miles
Yeah.
Jared
There you go.
Miles
You got another one, Ryan. Let me guess.
Tyler
It's kind of like Tyler. I didn't really understand these.
Ryan
I mean, it's like we did misunderstand the assignment.
Tyler
Tis the season.
Jared
That's good.
Tyler
I mean, there's. There's plenty of seasons. You just never say tis the season for any of the other ones.
Jared
I don't know what tis means.
Ryan
It's short for. It is for real. Yeah.
Tyler
It is the season. Yeah.
Ryan
It literally gets rid of one letter.
Tyler
Yeah, I was gonna say something about admiring.
Miles
Why couldn't they just go with it's right?
Ryan
I don't know.
Miles
This season, it's actually the exact same amount of letters just rearrang. There's an apostrophe before T. Apostrophes are a racket. We. We don't have time to dive into that to. We got to get Ryan.
Tyler
Well, speaking of. Of Christmas cards. Of Christmas cards. Apostrophes on last names of Christmas cards. What people don't know is you don't need an apostrophe possessive. Correct. But everyone still uses aposties. It bug. Bugs the out of my life.
Miles
I'm going to seem more formal. I'm gonna. If we do a Christmas crowd, I don't know what a status is on whether or not and I are doing Christmas. No. We might be New Year's couples, you know, for sure.
Jared
Maybe just a nice email to everybody.
Miles
Yeah. Jury's still out on whether or not we're doing Christmas card this year. I'm gonna have her. I'm gonna have Ann prune up an extra one with four apostrophes just on the end of our name with no ass at all. And just send that one to you guys.
Tyler
That would be a good prank.
Miles
We might be like, yeah, we're probably a Happy New Year family. I'm thinking about it. Hey, considering this is December 23rd, things.
Ryan
You can't say any other time than New Year's. See you next year.
Jared
Oh, yeah.
Miles
Nice one, Tyler.
Jared
We'll say that for next week.
Miles
Yeah.
Ryan
Yeah.
Tyler
You and Ann definitely aren't getting, like, the 2024 recap letter. Done with the Christmas card.
Miles
I'm gonna send you one of those, too. And it's just we used to call them the. The Christmas brag letters.
Tyler
Oh, yeah.
Miles
When the families would send and give updates on their whole life, it was just them bragging about how good they are and their children are and all the vacations that they went on.
Tyler
Yeah. It's never like. It's never like, you know, Johnny spent 48 days in jail this year.
Miles
They seem to skip over that one.
Tyler
Yeah. We're so proud of him because Normally it's like 90 plus days, but was under 50, so, you know, he's doing great.
Ryan
Well, the way those letters go is it's always there's that black sheep of the family. It'd be like Charlene is at her fifth year of medical school and James is won a state championship and Billy move back home. It's so great to have him with us again.
Miles
He moved back home to focus on his art. He really is quite the artist. Can't wait to see what glass he blows in 2025.
Ryan
He so creative.
Tyler
But no, because it's only a year.
Miles
He's also been working on his fitness and been going on lots of walks.
Tyler
It's just. It's his gap year. He's just taking, you know, and then next year it'll be his second gap year. If he chooses to keep doing so.
Miles
Well, then it just. Yeah, it goes to a gap years.
Tyler
Yeah.
Miles
Ryan.
Tyler
Yep.
Miles
You know what else you can only say around Christmas time? Man, These Christmas cookies. I wish I had something to wash it down with. And you're probably thinking, why milk? No, no.
Tyler
Eggnog.
Miles
No, no, no, no. What's another Christmas drink?
Jared
Eggnog.
Miles
He said.
Tyler
Tom and Jerry hot chocolate.
Ryan
With a candy cane in it.
Miles
No. Ice mountain is the only way to wash down Christmas.
Jared
Oh, watched out Christmas.
Tyler
Yeah. If anyone needs to cool down their Tom and Jerry a little quicker, I got bottle of ice.
Miles
Yeah. Maybe your eggnog is a little too noggy.
Tyler
Too thick.
Miles
You can kind of cut it a little bit. Just drop a little ice mountain. You know, it's a little too thick.
Tyler
Yeah. How do you like, how do you thin out pancake batter? You usually put. You put water in it. How do you thin out eggnog? You put ice mountain in it.
Miles
So it's a M. And then when you're tearing open present and you break a sweat doing it. Cool off with an ice mountain.
Tyler
Yeah, you got to feel that. You got to feel, you know, you throw some peppermint essential oils in your diffuser. You got to put some water in that.
Miles
When you accidentally start talking about politics with the rest of your family, you're getting worked up. Hey, relax. Have a nice cold ice mode.
Tyler
Yeah. You're not yourself.
Miles
You're not. You're not you. And you're dehydrated. Did you just Come up with that.
Tyler
That was a pretty good one.
Miles
That's a really good one.
Ryan
Put that argument on ice.
Tyler
Nice one.
Ryan
Thank you.
Tyler
Leave that argument.
Miles
I feel like that was an ad campaign for some something at some point.
Ryan
It was probably like a. Yeah.
Miles
Things getting hot this political season. Put that debate on ice and cool off with an ice cold ice mountain. Something like that.
Jared
Talking politics is like climbing a mountain.
Miles
Uphill battle.
Tyler
Yeah. Yeah.
Miles
Damn it.
Tyler
Yeah.
Miles
So guys, go get some ice mountain for Christmas. Let's go do it.
Jared
All right, prize picks time. Sign up with code YBR and get 50 instantly when you play your first five dollar lineup. You don't need to win your lineup to receive the 50 bonus. It's guaranteed this week. I have Cortland Sutton more than 67.5 receiving yards. Ryan has Geno Smith more than 251.5 passing yards. Now here is Miles and Tyler with their picks.
Miles
All right guys, for prize picks this week I have Bucky Irving, Tampa Bay running back for 74. Four and a half rush yards more than. I know that seems like a lot but he's playing Carolina and Carolina is the worst rushing defense in the league. So last time he played him he had 152 yards rushing. So Bucky Irving more than 74 and a half.
Ryan
Merry Christmas, you filthy animals. Sitting here enjoying nature. Just open presents, sipping my Irish coffee and a stroke of prize picks. Genius just hit my head. We want Kaimi Fairbairn, kicker for the Houston Texans. More than six and a half kicking points. You're welcome. Pay for those Christmas gifts with that bet.
Tyler
Yeah. Plural at that point.
Miles
Another thing you can't say any time of year is, man, that is an ugly sweater.
Ryan
That's true.
Tyler
That is.
Ryan
That's a really good one.
Tyler
That's a very good.
Miles
My other ones weren't.
Ryan
Well, this is one that I would actually say.
Miles
Yeah, you can never go up to someone, tell them how ugly their sweater is. They get very offended. But this time of year, for whatever reason, we decided that. That's an endearing comment.
Tyler
Yeah, the ugly. The ugly Christmas sweater is. It's kind of a. It's kind of a bananas tradition.
Ryan
I dig it though.
Tyler
No, it's cool. But like who decided that we should just start having parties where everyone wears an ugly. An ugly sweater?
Ryan
I think, I think it's for people to like try out a sweater to see if it's actually ugly or not.
Miles
Well, it's probably. It started as a. Haha. I'm funn. I found grand grandma's old Sweater in my. In the closet. And now I'm wearing it on Christmas. And then people are like, that's actually kind of a vibe. Then the next thing you know, well.
Ryan
There'S always like, one person that wears a sweater that's not that ugly that they're just testing out. Yeah, they're like, you were supposed to wear an ugly one. Like, oh, this isn't ugly. Oh, my God.
Miles
Oh, Woofs.
Tyler
Sorry. Yeah, it's a crop top.
Ryan
What are you doing? Yeah.
Tyler
You cut the whole bottom half of it. Yeah.
Miles
There's the one girl that, like, just is so worried about their IM that they can't even participate in the ugly sweater competition. Yeah, they quite literally just pick the ugliest sweater in their closet, not the actual ugly sweater.
Ryan
Yep.
Miles
Yeah, 100%. See, I got it there.
Ryan
Yeah.
Tyler
Yeah, that was a good one.
Miles
You got another one, Ryan.
Tyler
Fuck. Well, I know I don't because I didn't understand the assignment.
Jared
I got a. Do you like eggnog?
Ryan
That's not asking that any other time.
Tyler
Yeah, I mean, and you do have to pose the question to anybody.
Jared
You're serving everybody at every Christmas. Ask him. Do you like eggnogs? Doesn't fail, does it?
Ryan
Has anyone's answer ever changed?
Tyler
No, they're pretty consistent because it's so up in the. It's so 50 50. Whether someone does or doesn't.
Jared
It is. Yeah. So I always have to ask.
Tyler
I don't think there's.
Miles
I don't know if I've even ever had a proper eggnog.
Ryan
Yeah, I was just thinking that. But I've had it out of the carton without booze, and it's not good.
Tyler
But I kind of warmed up to it over the years. I kind of like it out of the carton cold.
Ryan
But like without, like without booze.
Tyler
Yeah, Just right out of the carton. Yeah. Unless they serve cartons with booze and eggnog in them.
Ryan
Okay. I don't think so.
Jared
I'm not sure.
Tyler
Similar to Myers Coffee. That might be my.
Miles
That might be. My goal this Christmas is to get my hands on some eggnog.
Tyler
Suck an eggnog down.
Miles
Because I wouldn't even know how to answer that question if you asked me that, Jared.
Tyler
Sucking down an eggnog. Sucking down an eggnog.
Miles
You got. You got another one, Jared.
Jared
Really stupid one. What time is midnight Mass?
Tyler
That's a good one.
Ryan
Layers. Layers.
Miles
You're out.
Ryan
Yeah.
Tyler
God, I just. I just had one in my head too. We were just talking about eggnog.
Miles
How about here? Let me stick my hands in that box. In your box, I guess, is the better one. You stick my hands in your box?
Jared
Yeah, that works.
Tyler
God, I had it again. I lost it. That's two over two now.
Ryan
You'll find it. You'll find it. We'll be on the third segment and you'll find it.
Jared
We took rides.
Miles
Yeah.
Tyler
Something like. Yeah.
Miles
Are we doing live? Well, let's live workshop it here. Let's go, Ryan.
Ryan
Well, I was gonna make his workshop today.
Tyler
I was gonna make the. I was gonna make the jam and jelly joke. Yeah. Because I feel like jam and jelly are very, very pronounced on. On Christmas.
Miles
Really? I've never had jam or jelly Christmas jams.
Jared
There is Christmas jabs.
Miles
Yeah. I just never had it like Jiggle Rock.
Tyler
Yeah. Yeah. My wife did go to the Blenders last week too, by the way.
Miles
Okay.
Tyler
I've gone for two and a half hours. They must have just been playing every hit that they have. I went. I also went to.
Miles
Well, I thought they were bangers only.
Tyler
So of course I went to Pentatonix last weekend.
Ryan
I did not realize that in our neck of the woods, Pentatonix is massive.
Tyler
It was their. They've been together 13 years. It was their biggest show. It was their biggest show ever.
Miles
Yeah, but they sell out the Avalon Fartwoodome.
Tyler
It was a. It was a full stadium.
Ryan
They sold out the dome except for the one.
Miles
That'll be 10, 000 people, right?
Jared
19.
Miles
Well, yeah, the. The ones.
Jared
Gotcha.
Tyler
I think there was like 18, 000 people or something.
Ryan
Yeah, but because they can. They also do the floor.
Tyler
Yeah, that's like a thousand.
Jared
That's like 18 Avalon.
Tyler
Yes, it is. Yep.
Ryan
Which blows my mind. Like, I know people like them, but for their biggest concert ever to be in Fargo, North Dakota, it was insane.
Miles
What? That is so randomly weird.
Tyler
I couldn't understand. I'm like, why there's got to be an accident up here? Because we were fucking three miles from the exit to go to the Fargo Dome and we were. It was standstill traffic.
Ryan
I legit saw people bitching about it on Fargo Reddit.
Tyler
Oh, yeah.
Ryan
Like the Pentatonix can never come back to town because traffic was a nightmare.
Tyler
They had to delay the show 15 minutes. And then I saw my. It's like my second cousin had commented on the Fargo's post about delaying it and they were like, well, we shouldn't have to delay it. For people who didn't. Didn't plan in advance. I'm like, off here. Like, I. I left 45 minutes early thinking I just stroll right in, but nope, nope, nope. I got stuck in traffic. It was 7, 710 by the time I got got.
Miles
So you're just that big of an acapella guy, huh? I guess I'm in the minority here. You know, for me being like, why would you go to a pentatonix?
Ryan
Our entire town was there.
Tyler
It was sweet. One of the guys is a he. Like beat boxes all like. It's a. It's insane.
Miles
Actually, for those that don't know, it's a acapella group.
Ryan
Yeah. Honestly, I really think they only got this big because they peaked right when Pitch Perfect was super popular.
Tyler
Pitch Perfect and there's like another kids movie.
Ryan
Yeah, I don't know what the kids movie is, but I don't know. Anyway, it's with the. Were the Treble Makers opening.
Tyler
There's no openers.
Jared
Here comes trouble.
Miles
What was the other one?
Ryan
I don't. I don't know the girls teams either.
Miles
The Belltown just. I don't know. Yeah, something like that. So was it good?
Tyler
It was solid.
Miles
What is the pentatonix and merch game like? Do you pick up a concert T shirt or. No?
Tyler
No, but I always look at prices when I go in and T shirts were like 35 bucks. Hoodies were like 65.
Ryan
For a concert.
Tyler
No, but I also know what those T shirts cost because I always look at the tag.
Ryan
Are they Bella canvases?
Tyler
95 of the merch tees are Bella canvas.
Ryan
Always are.
Miles
No, that's all I had. Stuff you Christmas that you can't see at the time of the year.
Ryan
Oh, that's the one thing you say at the Chris at Christmas you can never say is you catch that Blenders concert.
Miles
That's true. You can't. They don't tour any of the time. But one thing about Christmas too, that leads into my second segment for today is there's a lot of conversations that you just don't really care about having having. You know, whether that's with a cousin or an uncle or an aunt or maybe even your own mother. It's. It all depends there. The next segment is what are the top three sayings that you can use at any time. So we're talking. Doesn't matter what the topic of conversation is. You throw this in there. It makes complete sense and it. The conversation can keep going. So my. This one, it's probably on your guys list, if not to be shocked. But this is probably the most common. But it's the reason why is because it's so versatile. It's just saying. That's crazy.
Tyler
That was my number one.
Miles
Beat you to it.
Ryan
I had a dam in front of it, but same.
Miles
Damn. That's crazy.
Jared
That's wild.
Miles
Yeah, that's wild. Your uncle at Christmas is going off about something. You're not even listening. You could just at any time go, damn, that's crazy. And it just works perfectly.
Tyler
And when you throw in a that's wild, it's probably when one more that's crazy will get you caught lot, so then you got to throw in a oh, that's wild.
Ryan
And then after you're done with that's wild, you'll be like, no.
Tyler
Okay. Thanks again, Tyler. Because that was so two out of the three of mine.
Ryan
Hey, we only got one more. We can get rid of Ryan's list.
Miles
So you got that's crazy and as well.
Tyler
No, I got that's crazy and. Oh, no. So. But the one that you guys haven't said yet is, God, that's gotta feel good.
Ryan
You could say that at any situation. You just finished school, you're on Christmas break.
Tyler
Yeah.
Ryan
God, it's gotta feel.
Tyler
Yeah, I just started. Yeah.
Miles
God, it's gotta feel good anytime, right? It's like, yeah, my. My grandpa just died. God, that's gotta feel good.
Ryan
Oh, yeah, he was suffering.
Tyler
He's.
Ryan
He's finally out of his misery. That's gotta feel good.
Tyler
Yeah, I didn't think of that.
Miles
It's all right. I just realized that I kind of have a saying on my list that that doesn't apply to every situation, but. Damn, that's crazy. Works perfect in that scenario.
Tyler
Yeah.
Ryan
Or.
Miles
Or no, that works. The one that doesn't work that I have in that scenario is. That's above my pay grade. It may work in that scenario.
Ryan
Yeah, it works. I'd say you can spin zone it.
Tyler
If they're telling you like, hi. Yeah, you know, he was at the hospital and then they were giving him all these things. And then just right after he, like, medication, you just like, you know, you just croaked and you're like, oh, that's.
Miles
Above my pay grade. I also, it's kind of a 1A, 1B situation. It's. If you couple it with. Oh, you couple it with. That's why you get paid the big bucks.
Tyler
Yep. That's all. That's a.
Miles
Not only do you get yourself off the hook, you're now complimenting them, making them feel good in any situation. Give me a sentence, Tyler.
Ryan
Hey, I think I clogged the bathroom upstairs.
Miles
Hey, that's above my pay grade.
Ryan
That's why they can pay you the big bucks.
Miles
Yeah.
Jared
That's crazy, huh?
Ryan
You could say that to me, too. For clogging the toilet.
Miles
Well, no. So then you were gonna say something else.
Ryan
Yeah. I can't find the plunger anywhere, so I just. I just scooped it out.
Miles
That's why you get paid the big bucks. Works in any scenario. Most scenarios.
Ryan
I got one that I think you can use in any scenario whatsoever. And I'm surprised it wasn't on the top of everyone's list. It is what it is.
Miles
It was on my list.
Ryan
Yeah.
Miles
Yeah, yeah.
Ryan
Is what it is.
Miles
My grandpa died, is what it is. Yeah.
Ryan
Can't do anything about it.
Tyler
This is what it is, you know.
Miles
That'S maybe actually leads into one that you could do. It's like, well, I guess we're all gonna die.
Ryan
Yeah.
Miles
That could be used in any scenario.
Jared
No, my pay grade.
Ryan
Yeah. We're all gonna die one day anyway.
Tyler
Yeah.
Miles
Oh, shit.
Tyler
That's why you get paid the big.
Ryan
Bucks, is what it is. I suppose that's a whole conversation.
Tyler
That's crazy. Kind of like the opposite side of God's got to feel good is. I can't imagine.
Miles
But that's.
Tyler
That's one where, like, the other person doesn't really know where to go with it. If you're like, I can't imagine.
Miles
The conversation is nice because it kind of ends the conversation.
Tyler
Yeah.
Miles
So then you're just done with it.
Tyler
Yeah. No, for sure.
Jared
Or you could say, I could only imagine, too. Kind of works both ways.
Miles
I can only imagine. What was it? I. I can't even imagine.
Tyler
I can't imagine. Yeah. Yeah. I started Christmas break yesterday. God, I can't even imagine.
Miles
Ye. Because then it just couples it. I've been working so hard on getting time off.
Tyler
Yeah.
Miles
You know.
Tyler
Yeah.
Ryan
Can't imagine.
Miles
Jared. What about you, Miles?
Jared
You saw me say this last week. I said, the market is the market. When it's like a financial thing, you'd say the market is.
Miles
Yeah, yeah.
Ryan
You could say that about any scenario, really. Like how the weather is crazy, like the market is the market.
Miles
What did I say when you said that?
Jared
That's so cliche. Such a cliche saying.
Miles
I just. I can't let it go. I can't. I can't just move on, you know? It is what it is.
Jared
And then I have.
Miles
Above my pay grade.
Jared
I have a. Nobody knows how to drive these days. When you're talking to somebody.
Miles
Yeah. It's very similar as you know, like, you know, can you believe the weather?
Ryan
Yeah.
Tyler
Yeah.
Miles
And that works great because that's more of us starting a conversation. Can you believe the weather? That they just decide what the weather is like outside.
Ryan
Yep.
Miles
You don't even have to check the weather. You don't have to have gone outside. You could just say can you believe the weather? And I know it's so hot out.
Ryan
Inside for an entire week and not know what the weather has been and find out immediately with that.
Miles
It's like a conversation. Mad Libs. They'll just fill it in for you. Well.
Tyler
And whatever they say to that is, is obviously what they believe. So if you say I can't believe the weather, like obviously that they, they do with what they follow it up with.
Miles
Yeah.
Ryan
Even positive. Yeah. It's been absolutely gorgeous out. I know, it's crazy.
Tyler
I know. Crazy.
Miles
You know, I can't even imagine it being any cooler.
Ryan
I got one that eats kind of like a lull in the car. Or you could say it to be comedic if you want. Like how about them Mets? Whenever.
Miles
Why you say Twins?
Ryan
Yeah. You can cater it to your audience but the, the typical phrase is how about the Mets? Jared? You do that. Just be talking about nothing and out of nowhere dared. I'll just go, how about them Mets?
Tyler
How long have you worked here, Jared?
Jared
Four years.
Tyler
I've never heard you say that before.
Ryan
You don't talk to Jared enough. Apparently.
Tyler
We just. I think we did a lot more substance of what him and I are talking about. Yeah, no need to. Yeah. With.
Miles
Apparently your conversation with Jared are pretty.
Ryan
You've never been in a 12 hour car ride with Jared either.
Jared
Damn close.
Tyler
Well, that's when you just start reading signs on the side of the road. Yeah, that's a, that's a miles that I do. Blue Chocolate by lust Downer. Yeah.
Miles
Right.
Tyler
Or it's just like, like, like you ever thought about calling the number on Shackled by Lust? Boom. Conversation right there.
Miles
Have you?
Tyler
I've thought about it. I'm like, who's going to answer this phone and what is the opener game?
Miles
Yeah, you call. What is it? 1-800- shackled by L. Something like that.
Tyler
Yeah, yeah.
Miles
1800 lusters.
Tyler
I don't know love or lust.
Miles
I got lust question mark. So you call 1-800- got lost and it's like, hello, welcome to the horny hotline. I tell you what, my. I am busting at the seams right now.
Tyler
And sir, it sounds like you're in your car.
Miles
No, I. I'm. I'm talking. I gotta pull over, and I gotta just. I gotta get on some websites, man. I am so horny.
Jared
Yeah.
Miles
Like, what do the. What are the conversations like?
Ryan
I think it's. It's like to get you unshackled from your lust.
Miles
Right.
Tyler
So, you know, so he's my problem.
Miles
So he's talking you off the ledge.
Tyler
Yeah, yeah.
Ryan
You're like, oh, I got the keys.
Miles
All right, man. This is a dire situation. I am completely shackled by my lust. And they're like, all right, sir. Well, it's okay. What's going on? I. I currently, I have four fingers around my shaft, and the fifth is about to go on, and I. I just can't go on like this.
Ryan
And then he goes, well, how about the Mets?
Jared
Yeah.
Miles
Yep. Just started thinking about baseball smart. You know what I mean? It's like talking a guy off a ledge. He's like. He's right on the edge. He's ready to. He's ready to just. He's literally edging, and he just can't do it anymore.
Tyler
Sir, I am at the local cbs. I'm at my grandparents for Christmas, and my hand is glued to the ky. I cannot get my.
Miles
I can't put it down. I can't put it down.
Tyler
They have a buy two, get one free sale, and I cannot take both of my hands off.
Miles
Sir, how you talking? I'm AirPods, duh.
Tyler
Sir, I need you to go into my credit card account and freeze my card immediately. I have no cash, and you freeze my bank account.
Miles
Look at this guy. Just says access to your.
Jared
You can use my face to unlock.
Miles
It's like, we just find out. They're just. The NSA is behind it.
Tyler
It.
Miles
Yeah. No, it's actually a sting operation for just perverts.
Tyler
Did he.
Miles
I am so horny right now. Like, sir, actually, let's just stay on the phone for a few more minutes and then just. We're the horny police. Put your dick down. Where? Put your hands in your dick where I can see you.
Tyler
Sir. Sir, I'm sorry. We. We had to do it. We had to do it. It was the only way to save you.
Miles
I thought you were on my side.
Ryan
Turns out that's his kink. Oh, no, don't handcuff me.
Tyler
I just watched a video. Like, this is gonna get good.
Miles
I usually skip this part, but why is he talking like that?
Tyler
But now I'm living it.
Ryan
All of a sudden, he's Batman.
Miles
So. Yeah.
Ryan
I got one more. You can say this anytime you get asked a question. You never know.
Miles
Oh, that's good. Yeah.
Tyler
You never know.
Ryan
You never know.
Miles
Dave, his. His go to. To get out of a conversation, which is always whatever.
Ryan
You say that all the time.
Miles
It's because Dave says it's a great saying.
Tyler
I'll be right back. I gotta take a piss. That's my. Usually my go to out of a combo because no one's gonna stop you from going to take a piss.
Jared
Bonus points of it's.
Tyler
Huh?
Jared
Bonus points.
Ryan
Yeah, you buy yourself.
Tyler
Yeah. Especially if. If you announce it to them. I gotta bad. They're not gonna be like, well, no, this is a good conversation. You know, the weather's beautiful.
Miles
Yeah. Just squeeze those cheeks a little harder until I finish this story. Trust me, you're gonna want to hear it.
Tyler
Well, the bathroom is a little backed up, so you're probably gonna have to wait anyways. You might as well just stay here and converse with me.
Jared
They're talking about their tour at the Hershey factory here.
Ryan
I'll come with you. I'll talk to you through the door.
Tyler
And then like Kai there. There was this one time I had to so bad at the. A couple months and then just keep going on. I have to bad.
Jared
It's getting bad.
Miles
So that's.
Jared
Isn't that something?
Tyler
That's crazy. The thing that that's something. That's a good. I've said that a couple times.
Ryan
Grandpa died. Isn't that something.
Jared
That's how.
Miles
Most of the time when Dave would say whatever it was because we would catch him just blame blatantly saying something insane. Like when he told us that, you know, big cities don't get many tornadoes because of all the shingles. And then we started hammering them with other reasons why or why that makes no sense. Then he'll just be like, yeah, whatever.
Ryan
I don't know. We've talked about this shingle thing before. There might be something to it.
Miles
Yeah, I know, I know, but we just can't give them that.
Ryan
We can't say any of them.
Jared
I think there's tornadoes in big cities.
Miles
I think there is two, but. Or is it that we don't put big cities where tornadoes usually go sticking or the egg situation.
Jared
There's Oklahoma City.
Ryan
Yeah. There's plenty of big cities in tornado Alley.
Tyler
Well, I think big cities. Big cities, big buildings, a lot of wind blockage. So the wind that is trying to swirl around gets blocked by the building.
Miles
How many tornadoes have been in Kansas City or Topeka no clue.
Jared
There's no way to find out.
Ryan
Anyone got an encyclopedia?
Miles
There was a guy sitting at a desk.
Tyler
My. My mom did buy those. Those Southwest Advantage books for us when we were younger. It could look in those.
Jared
Dallas, Miami.
Miles
See, someone else was asking, do tornadoes really avoid cities? Dave must have got got by that Minneapolis. Well, I mean, Fargo had a pretty bad tornado back in the day. It was pre sh. We were still in huts back then.
Jared
Yeah.
Miles
Well, it is what it is. You know, this whole thing is above my pay grade.
Ryan
Yeah, I guess we'll never know.
Miles
All of these Reddit people, that's why they make the big bucks.
Jared
Yeah.
Tyler
I can't imagine living in a big city like that.
Ryan
Crazy. It is what it is.
Jared
Just whatever that's.
Miles
Should we take a break?
Ryan
No, I couldn't think of any of the ones we said that work there.
Miles
Should we take a break? Oh, yeah.
Tyler
Might as well.
Jared
Yeah.
Miles
All right, folks. I know it's after Christmas, but you can go get some. You bet your merchandise still@ou bet you.com would be sick.
Tyler
We are sub 200 tongs.
Ryan
No way.
Miles
Maybe that's the final push. The final push of 2024. We don't want to go into 2025 with a single tong.
Ryan
That would be nice.
Miles
That's my new New year's resolution. My. Actually it's my old year's resolution for 2024. We call this cramming for the test. We're going to try and cram 200 tongs up 24's ass.
Ryan
Hey, you gotta.
Tyler
That would not feel good either. These.
Ryan
These are well solid tongs.
Miles
Yeah.
Ryan
So if you want some party favors for your New Year's Eve party.
Miles
We had a bellied up caller call in, say he was a tong investor, said he bought five of them, kept one for himself, gave four away. He said they are elite.
Tyler
Boom.
Miles
That's big hit. The five star rating. Verbally on the phone during bellied up recording. So what other facts and data do you need to make a purchase? Let's we don't our old year resolution this year for 2024. Let's go to 2025 tong free. We want to be tong free. So you can be tong full in 2025.
Ryan
Boom.
Miles
Oh, you bet you dot com. They're like $4.50.
Tyler
Yeah. Buy a 100 at a time or whatever.
Jared
Yeah.
Miles
Just think if two of you bought hundred tongs.
Ryan
We only need two.
Miles
We can be done. We can reach our goal. If 20 of you buy 10 tongs. We've reached Our goal.
Tyler
Honestly, a lot of people could be getting cash for Christmas too.
Ryan
Honestly, 100 tongs at 450 bucks is a pretty good deal.
Tyler
Yeah, if you like to.
Miles
Yeah, like hot cakes fly off the shelf so you could resell them on ebay or something.
Tyler
I mean, we were like barely sub 3,000 tongs like two, two, three months ago.
Miles
That is. Hey, that's a very good perspective point.
Jared
Perspective podcast.
Miles
We are. That's what we do. So all. You betcha.com. all right, this next segment's Ryan's. Ryan, take it away.
Ryan
It's going good.
Tyler
Well, I mean, I was gonna start until you guys started laughing at me.
Miles
With you.
Tyler
Yeah, I would say since I became a first time home buyer back in 2000. What's the date today? Actually, this come out on the 28th. This is the 24th or the 24th. Oh, okay, 25th.
Miles
24Th.
Jared
24Th. 25th. Yeah.
Tyler
December 28th, 2018. First time home buyer. And then naturally I own my house. I gotta. I gotta put Christmas lights up. Right. I've been getting a little too judgy on Christmas lights over the last couple years because I can look at somebody's house and just. I feel like I just know them as a person based off of how they put their Christmas lights up and the effort that they put into it. I'm not sure if my neighbor listens this, but this is. It's more funny than anything. A great move is to just leave them up all year round. That's what he did.
Ryan
We have. Don't they make gutters now that just come with.
Miles
We'll get in there, we'll get to that.
Tyler
Okay, now can you imagine if he would have left.
Miles
He's still introing the segment.
Ryan
Sorry.
Tyler
If he would have left his lights up all year and then went to turn them on like say a month ago and they didn't work. Can you imagine? So I. I don't know what you do at that point.
Miles
So what does that say about him?
Tyler
Well, it says that he's efficient because he only has to do it once in two years.
Miles
Or.
Tyler
Or it could say that he didn't totally think it all through.
Miles
Or he's super lazy.
Tyler
One of the three.
Miles
Or. Or he's too busy smoking cigars.
Tyler
Other neighbor.
Miles
Okay.
Ryan
Or he's addicted to gambling because he really rolled the dice on those things working this year.
Miles
I like that. Tyler.
Tyler
So what, what do people's Christmas lights.
Miles
Well, so the gutter ones. So now they just make them. When you build the house, they just build it into the roof line. I always assume those people are in the tech industry of some sort. Sort. Whether it's I T or whatever. It's like I have an uncle. I don't think he has these. I think he built his house before that. But he's the shoe in. He's the gadget guy. Sure. He's a shoe in for this. He's an IT guy. You know, he knows all of the ins and outs of all the new technologies. I feel like these people were on the cutting edge of just permanently having lights on their house.
Ryan
I would also assume that they have a smart home of some sort where they can. They can start things with voice command.
Miles
Well, they just turn on the Christmas lights with voice command. Yeah. They're not flipping a switch and they.
Jared
Want to show you the app right away.
Miles
And. And a lot of them somehow have like linked up the lights to flicker with a music beat.
Tyler
Yeah, like. Like a radio station. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They usually have an iPad on the wall right as you walk in the front door. More likely they're speaker guy. Speaker people. So they probably have a good, nice Sono speaker system.
Miles
Yeah.
Tyler
You don't have. You don't have built in lights.
Miles
No, I don't.
Tyler
You should though.
Miles
I tell you what, though, those guys that have the iPads on the walls, they're not using that even once. I bet the old it is cool. I bet the only time they ever would use it is if their wife. This might be very specific, but just came to me. If their wife had lost or forgot their iPad somewhere and then needed an iPad to watch Netflix on an airplane, I bet they. That's the only time they would ever have used it.
Jared
It's like an iPad2.
Miles
Yeah.
Tyler
Yeah.
Miles
That's the only time that they had to do massive software updates because it hasn't been touched since they moved into the house. Yeah.
Tyler
Not only did she have first 30.
Miles
Minutes of the plane ride is just updated again. Hypothetical. Yeah.
Tyler
Not only did she have to have to download episodes to watch in the plane, she just had to download the Netflix app.
Miles
Yeah.
Tyler
Because wasn't on there.
Jared
The old logo.
Tyler
Yeah.
Miles
They had to download the. The operating software.
Tyler
Yeah.
Miles
Yeah, I bet. I. I bet.
Tyler
But I feel like people who have like, like one solid color light. I'm a. I'm a warm, like a warm yellow Christmas light. If.
Miles
If 100%.
Tyler
If the lights are one hundo go boom.
Miles
There's just no other answer.
Tyler
I would agree.
Miles
The only other one. Green and red. Classic.
Tyler
Yeah. When you got a Bunch of different colors though. I, I feel like that kind of takes you back down a notch if they're built into the gutters.
Miles
So what would you say about someone who has rainbow colored lights talking green, blue, yellow, red. What would you say about them? Ryan?
Jared
What?
Tyler
Ah.
Miles
You didn't think this segment through, did you?
Tyler
No, I did think it through. I just, I'm gonna reflect.
Miles
Someone else is gonna bring that one up.
Tyler
I'm just gonna refrain from what my normal answer would be. I'll give you, I'll give you the, you know, this answer.
Miles
Just give us the answer.
Tyler
I, I, I, I just to make it. Sure. I think they're just try hard. I think they like to be the, like they want people to look at their house all year round because they don't get attention in other aspects of life. Of life. So they have to use the lights on their house in order to do that.
Miles
See, I would go with cl because when I think yellow, red, green and blue Christmas lights, I'm thinking like classic. Like if you think of the first Christmas lights ever made, I feel like those were it.
Ryan
The yellows. Yellows were like the OGs. And I think the first, first, no.
Miles
But I feel like the colored ones.
Ryan
Were really, I feel like the yellows were. And then the first time they spiced.
Miles
It up, you think about vintage Grinch, like the first Grinch that ever came out, what colored lights are on his tree? It's not just white or yellow lights.
Tyler
Yeah, no, you're right, you're right. Green, red, yellow.
Miles
You know what I mean?
Tyler
Yeah, no, okay, I, I know, I know what you're referring to. Now. We used to have colored lights on our tree. Like, like all the colors that you.
Miles
What I just said.
Tyler
Yeah, no, I know, but. Because I was thinking I don't see that on many people's houses these days, but Christmas trees, that was, that was very prominent back in the day.
Miles
Yeah. And I feel like if you see that, then it's like these guys are just classic.
Tyler
Like they're more about the tradition of Christmas versus like just making things look good.
Miles
Correct. Yeah. Yeah.
Tyler
Okay. Okay.
Miles
They did. Those lights probably were handed down to them at some point.
Tyler
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Ryan
Or thrifted.
Tyler
Or thrifted. What, what are your guys thoughts on like the, the lighted reindeer that people put in their yards?
Ryan
The. Okay, so the one that's made of lights. Yes, in on that.
Miles
Better. Better than the, the blowups.
Ryan
Dude, I'm so out on the inflatable Christmas decorations.
Miles
Me too. It just looks trashy.
Ryan
I don't know if I see an inflatable.
Tyler
Half the time they're deflating or blown away.
Miles
Well, so that was. So that was the thing. I have a neighbor as I'm going out of my neighborhood, he put up this big snowman and it was like staked down and stuff. And he is on the edge of the neighborhood and on the outside of my neighborhood is a field. Mind you, I drove by day one that he put it up and I said, that's not gonna make it very long. When I came home from work that night, it was deflated and laying on the ground around.
Tyler
Yeah, there's got to be.
Miles
Fargo, North Dakota is not a place to be having those. Now if it's like, I don't know, I think you can. You can make it work. If you go like, way too big. Like if you made it 20ft tall blow up, I think it's like, okay, that's kind of. Kind of cool. Whatever.
Tyler
Because it's like an anomaly at that point. Everyone's are like, what, 6 or 8ft tall. If you go with the 20 foot, that's kind of baller.
Ryan
I think it's a big overcompensation and a very. Well, something's going on in their life. They're like, I need to be distracted by this monstrous reindeer.
Jared
20 foot nutcracker.
Miles
Yeah, well, don't do a nutcracker.
Ryan
I am hurting inside, so I need to look out my door and see nothing but red and white. What if they're in my whole.
Miles
What if they're just filled with holiday cheer? Tyler.
Ryan
I don't. I don't think they are. Because everyone knows that the number one way to spread holiday cheers is to sing loud so all can hear.
Miles
You did get me there. That is true. They do say that that's how we get old. Yeah. They don't say the best way to spread holiday cheer is by putting a bunch of inflatable blow up snowmen in your front yard for all to hear. See, you're right. That just doesn't roll off the top quite as good.
Ryan
No. How do you feel about the projectors?
Tyler
Okay, I was just gonna bring that up. I know. I was just gonna bring that up. So I think the. I think the laziest people when it comes to putting Christmas lights up are the ones who just change the. Their outside lights. They just change the light bulb to green and red. And then the people who put projectors on their house or on their garage door.
Ryan
Okay. So the only thing that makes me like, kind of Respect the projector is that it's all holiday use. They just change the filter, but it's.
Tyler
Always D. It's usually like diagonal or there's a window right in the middle.
Miles
Well, what. You got to put it right in the middle of the driveway, Ryan. Of course it's diagonal.
Tyler
They got it. They have to figure something out by now.
Ryan
I just. I respect the efficiency of the projector because they can use it Easter, Halloween. They can put a turkey up for Thanksgiving for sure. And they only got to buy one thing and there's no putting up lights. But that being said, I still don't love them. I just respect it now.
Miles
So I'm usually The more Christmas decorations, usually I'm out on. It's like, hey, just let's pick one or two things here. If you want to do the light up reindeer with the lights in the front yard and some Christmas lights, let's do it. You know, all of those things. But the one time I feel like. And I don't know how they haven't invented this yet, but the one thing I'd be totally in on is if they made your garage door panels with LED panels on the whole thing. Okay, so your entire garage door is just a tv. Why has no one done that?
Ryan
You could do that for all kinds of things you could do. Congrats, grad. When you have your grad party there.
Miles
You could have movie, movie night with the neighborhood.
Tyler
You do gender reveals.
Miles
Gender reveals.
Tyler
It's a boy.
Miles
Wouldn't that be awesome? If you roll up and you press the. The garage door open button and then it just says welcome home miles on the thing.
Tyler
Especially after. If you had a shake, every single.
Miles
Every single day would just feel like you're coming home from a long vacation.
Tyler
Yeah.
Miles
You know, your. Your family's at the airport holding the science of welcome home.
Ryan
I'm in on this idea.
Tyler
Yeah, it's a great idea.
Miles
And then you also could. You could rig up a radar gun. If someone, some. Some angsty teenagers driving through you just flash on their. Slow down.
Ryan
Yeah.
Tyler
Just starts playing.
Jared
I'll show how fast they're driving.
Ryan
You can put. You could put a no trespassing sign on your entire garage door.
Miles
Yeah, you could.
Tyler
Yeah. You could play great movie clips like home alone.
Ryan
Do you know trespassers will be shot. Shot survivors will be shot again.
Miles
You do joke of the day and just brighten. On Monday mornings. You throw up. Joke of the day. At first, your neighbors can be like, that looks so you know, and then they're going to be like the Monday. You don't put up a joke of the day. They're going to be like, where the is the joke of the day?
Tyler
Yep.
Ryan
I'm telling you right now. Jared, you can confirm this. Local news would be knocking on your door to do a feature story on that. So fast.
Tyler
So fast.
Miles
This is a great idea, actually.
Jared
You show the stock market. Market. Just the stocks.
Ryan
Yeah.
Jared
Sports scores.
Miles
Yes. Ticker. Yeah. Gonna have a ticker going at all times.
Tyler
Yeah. You could have money lines going for NFL Sunday.
Ryan
You could have NFL Sunday for the whole neighborhood.
Miles
This is actually a great idea.
Tyler
This is a way better idea than an iPad.
Miles
Right.
Tyler
When you walk in the door.
Miles
Correct. And I know it can work because that one business was on Shark Tank, where it's just like a big sleeve you put over your garage door with like Santa Claus on it.
Tyler
Yeah, okay. Yep.
Miles
But just make it led. You can use it all year round. Be great. The local high school teams headed off to state. Go, go Bulldogs.
Ryan
Good luck at state. Bulldogs.
Tyler
Go Patriots.
Miles
State bound. Go Bulldogs.
Jared
Or if you have like a kid playing and stay like home of number 86, number 4.
Miles
And then you could play as highlights. You play as huddle clips.
Ryan
Yeah. You know there's a big college game game going on in town that day. You just put his huddle tape up so the opposing coach see it around here.
Tyler
They'd have the. They'd have the NDSU run out video hype video.
Jared
That'd be sick.
Tyler
That would be fire.
Miles
That would be fire.
Tyler
Yeah, I'm in on this idea.
Miles
You could also just put an image up of a picture of the inside of your garage.
Ryan
People run into it.
Miles
Like a second thought, my wife would definitely run through the garage door then. So maybe that's a bad idea. Carol here would be funny. The live stream of you in your garage, James, Carol here just milling around.
Ryan
Mixing drinks and defeats the entire purpose of the door.
Miles
Well, yeah, I'm an open book, you know. Transparent.
Tyler
Yeah, you for. I left your garage door open when you left for work.
Miles
Just pranking your neighbors.
Tyler
James, could you take your sexy time inside? Charles and I are sick of watching you and your wife get jiggy with it in the garage.
Ryan
Oh, no, no. That's a recording.
Miles
That's just on loop.
Tyler
Yeah, I just. I have that looped a thousand more times, so it'll be done soon, I guarantee you.
Ryan
Yeah, it only lasts a thousand minutes.
Tyler
God, how are you getting that much action?
Miles
It'd be kind of funny, too. It's like you wait till Your neighbor comes home and then you just. On the one garage door is closest to his house with an arrow, it just says, I'm with stupid. That's good. That would be good.
Tyler
He has a little pecker pointing over to.
Jared
He'S cheating on his wife. This arrow.
Miles
Just ruining people's lives with this.
Ryan
Helen, I thought you were home already.
Miles
And then like in off times, you could actually make some money on it and just put like local realtors. There's advertising.
Tyler
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Miles
That's gonna get more attention than the billboard way up in the sky on the interstate.
Tyler
No. Agreed. Or even just like the little yard sign that they put in.
Miles
Correct. Yeah. This is a great idea.
Tyler
Yeah. You could just have a slideshow of this. Like the Zillow listing.
Miles
Yeah.
Tyler
So people can see inside your house.
Miles
That would actually be really good idea. It's a phenomenal. No idea.
Ryan
You could do semi open houses without having to have people in your house.
Tyler
Yeah.
Miles
Make a touch screen. People can come up and like swipe to the next photo.
Tyler
Yeah. And you just said, you just say take it or leave it as is.
Miles
I mean, it is. Why aren't we doing this?
Tyler
That's a great question. That might be a 2030 project for some tech.
Miles
Well, no, I got a lot going on in 2030. Got to go to the Olympics in 2030.
Ryan
That's right.
Miles
So I either need to tackle that soon or I'm gonna have to do it. Do it after the Olympics.
Jared
But as of now, you're doing it.
Miles
So far, so good. We're still on track for Toronto. Is that what it is?
Jared
Vancouver.
Miles
Vancouver. We're still on track for Vancouver.
Tyler
It's like, it's kind of like the rebirth of like drive in movie theaters. Except like this giant garage door and yeah, you can put anything on top of movies on there.
Miles
You just put a live feed of your driveway, you know, like, who's. If you had a live feed of the outside of your house, who's breaking into that house?
Ryan
Make your garage door look like a mirror.
Tyler
I mean, dude, you could even. You could have. You could have the 10 day forecast on there.
Miles
Yeah, this is true.
Tyler
Yeah, just like give people a little hope. Like, hey, it's gonna be a 30s in the next few days.
Jared
Shovel your driveway.
Tyler
Shovel your driveway now. Yeah, you could, you could tap into the like the interstate overhead camera that shows road conditions. Play on a little.
Ryan
Let's head over to our tower cam on i94.
Tyler
That's a great idea.
Ryan
Traffic is backed up all the way to 25th.
Miles
Yeah. While you're shoveling, it just says like shoveling in progress with a loading bar on it.
Tyler
Yeah.
Miles
Just be all sorts of funny. Yeah, same thing. Mowing the lawn. Like mowing in progress with a, with the loading bar.
Tyler
It's a great idea.
Miles
Right. You order door dash and you just like put like, you know, you put, you, you figure out what the name of the dasher is and you put their name on like drop off here.
Tyler
Yeah.
Miles
Then they can't miss your house.
Ryan
Yeah, that's happened.
Miles
Door dash. Gotten to a different house and I had to walk over there like a bozo and get it off someone else's step.
Jared
Just says like, right, my pajamas.
Miles
Yeah.
Tyler
Leave it at the door means leave it at the door. Child sleeping.
Miles
Oh, yeah. God. You beware of the dog would be your.
Tyler
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Ryan
Just throw a picture of your dog. The least menacing looking dog I've ever seen. It's a Christmas photo. Yeah.
Miles
You could even have speakers and I could just pump motivational moments with Ryan on there.
Ryan
No, there's too many light poles around your neighborhood.
Miles
There was a strange amount of car accidents on the corner of this street, which is weird because it's a loop with, with no traffic.
Tyler
Just got the truck back today. You didn't notice? Really brand new.
Jared
Wow.
Miles
Well, it's not brand new. Your door is.
Tyler
Yeah, the door's brand new.
Miles
That's a great idea, by the way. I mean, that's, it's like air mail LED garage door. It's like 1, 2, 1, 2. Yeah. Is that it? I think you got some fun facts for us, Jared?
Jared
Yep, I do. One sec. The United nations estimates that there I.
Tyler
I, I have 15, I have 15 minutes to drive. 35 minutes.
Ryan
Right.
Jared
My got a new door. You drive fast.
Ryan
Yeah, that's true.
Jared
The United nations estimates that There are over 3 million shipwrecks on the ocean floor. Floor lost, destroyed, or deliberately sunk. These wrecks are interested to divers underwater archaeologists and treasure hunters alike. The deep ocean acts as a natural time capsule, preserving wrecks for centuries due to limited oxygen and sunlight, which will slow decomposition.
Miles
You got a barnacle build up, though, is a real problem. It's true.
Tyler
Yeah.
Miles
You know.
Ryan
They did find that nudie in the Titanic.
Miles
What?
Ryan
Pretty, pretty undisturbed.
Tyler
They found a nudie Meg.
Ryan
Yeah. You watch Titanic? That's how it starts.
Tyler
It's been years.
Ryan
They find the Titanic, they bust open a safe and there's just a naked, a picture of a naked lady and it's Rose and they're like, oh, That's.
Miles
That's not a nude magazine.
Ryan
Yeah, well, it's a nudie.
Miles
Yeah, I suppose that's how they were doing it back then. You had to hand draw nudes.
Ryan
It's a still. I'm trying to get your nipple right.
Miles
How many are on the floor?
Jared
3 million.
Ryan
That's a shitload. Yeah, that's a shipload.
Tyler
I'd my pants if I was on.
Miles
One of those because how many years have we been sailing the seven seas?
Jared
A long time.
Ryan
As long as the seas have been able to be sailed.
Tyler
Yeah, hundreds of.
Miles
Yeah, they count, like dinghy boats and. And fishing boats and stuff. Stuff.
Jared
If it floats, it s probably.
Ryan
I don't know. Does that count as a ship?
Miles
It's a lot of boats, though.
Ryan
It is.
Jared
Canadian bacon is called that because it originated in Canada and is a specific type of bacon called back bacon in Canada, which is made from the lean pork loin, unlike the fattiest pork belly used for traditional American bacon.
Ryan
Classic American.
Miles
Yeah. I never thought about the fact that. That they wouldn't call it Canadian bacon. You know, like, we don't call them American burgers. We just call them burgers. You know what I mean?
Tyler
We don't call it American bacon either.
Jared
Yeah, and they call it strip bacon in Canada or regular bacon.
Ryan
So they didn't even. Can't even give us the respect to call our bacon American bacon, even though we're calling theirs Canadian, apparently.
Tyler
You guys ever play strip bacon back in high school?
Jared
What's that?
Tyler
I've never heard that spin off of strip poker.
Ryan
Oh, it's when you bake cookies naked. Oh, strip bacon. Every time you get an ingredient wrong, you gotta take off a sock.
Miles
Every time you get an eggshell. Every time you crack an egg and get an eggshell in the mix, you gotta take off something.
Ryan
You can't make an arm without cracking Ryan.
Miles
Ryan is just taking the eggs and just smashing them in there. Oh, no.
Ryan
My clothes are gone. All I've got is me and this tongs. Click, click.
Miles
Yeah, then he just hangs him on his junk.
Ryan
Obviously he's fully erect at this point.
Tyler
Fully erected. Like, I haven't even gotten the water in to mix it all up yet.
Ryan
I'm going to have to run to the store and get milk.
Miles
I guess I'll just take my helicopter.
Ryan
Oh, my mixer's broken.
Miles
Whatever could we use? Please just use the tongs. Please just use the tongs.
Ryan
That's Ryan playing strip bacon.
Jared
Also, don't want to fry bacon with your shirt off.
Tyler
No. God, no. But you also don't want to fry with it.
Miles
But also, don't be a. So just do it. Yeah, I've done it.
Jared
So I put them the oven.
Ryan
I mean, if you ever do want to fry bacon with your shirt off. The tongs we sell are really long.
Miles
They are.
Jared
That'd be perfect.
Tyler
But only don't oversell them, though. Yeah.
Miles
We don't want to get too many returns.
Ryan
Dead serious.
Tyler
The longer the tongs, they are very long. But only 200. Say 200 people can get them. That's the thing.
Ryan
Or pretty exclusive.
Miles
Or a hundred people can only get two of them.
Tyler
Yeah. Or two people can only get 100 of them.
Ryan
Or only one person could get 200 of them.
Tyler
Yeah.
Miles
If five people could each get. Come on, 40.
Tyler
Yeah. If someone went and bought a hundred tongs, I would throw a pack of bacon in with them.
Jared
Yeah.
Ryan
Hey, there you go.
Miles
Yeah, Actually, I agree with that.
Jared
That would.
Miles
Yeah, yeah, I'm actually on board. It also will. It'll be a special kind of bacon.
Ryan
Back bacon or strip bacon.
Miles
Yeah, Canadian bacon, depending on where it's going to ship. Can't ship to Canada right now.
Tyler
Yeah, we'll get that rolling next week. Strikes over now, is it?
Miles
Let's go. Big news.
Jared
Chris just came early.
Miles
Who won, you know, say a good negotiation. No one wins.
Tyler
I think they were. They were forced to go back. Whoever they. Whoever they is that did the forcing just forced them to go back. The government, I. I'm assuming. I don't know. That's what I was told by a customer wondering if we shipped to Canada for strikes over. Workers forced to go back.
Miles
So we don't know what actually happened?
Tyler
No, I don't know how the negotiation. I. I don't know. I think they're getting like 90, 98 bucks an hour or something. 98 bucks an hour in six months.
Miles
P. All the workers went on strike, and then they're like, no, we're not going to do that. They called. God got their good.
Ryan
That's pretty rare. You usually don't see the strikers lose.
Tyler
No, no. I. I don't know. I don't. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.
Ryan
No, we have firsthand. We have firsthand knowledge of this.
Miles
If you're Canadian, talk to somebody. You know, you guys got some good stuff up there. But we know how to strike down here.
Ryan
All right?
Miles
We get what we want. So if the facts are true from the one thing that Ryan heard from one person, then come talk to us. If not, good job.
Jared
Don't say sorry too much.
Miles
Yeah, don't apologize sorry. But actually, you know, do maybe apologize.
Tyler
I got nine minutes to drive 30 times. I gotta go.
Miles
All right, guys. Happy holidays. Merry Christmas.
Tyler
Fondue tonight.
Miles
That's what you're missing.
Ryan
Dude, you want to get out of here? Quit bringing up new bits.
Miles
Yeah, this is. I'm going to text your wife and tell her her that I tried to get you out of here.
Tyler
I'm having fun. I'm having a good time.
Jared
It's good. Doctors know it.
Miles
Guys, Merry Christmas. Thanks for tuning into another episode of you bet your radio. May your garage door have an LED look board on it.
Tyler
Yeah.
Miles
And you know what? It is what it is. We'll see you guys in the next one. Crazy.
Tyler
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
E
Shackled by lust nest so tattoo hanging balls where trees will show LED lights on garage door Christmas magic more and more and more Ryan's latest festive board that's why Buck's big hits the door Buy some tongue for turkey roast sweet delights and Christmas toast All the neighbors start to boast Ryan's list the season's host led lights uncle raspberry Christmas magic more and more and more Ryan's latest festive bore that's why bucks big hits the door Buy some tongs for turkey roast sweet delights and Christmas toast All the neighbors start to boast Ryan's list the season's host led he lights on garage door Christmas magic more and more and more Ryan's made a festive B.O. that's why Buck's big hits the door Bragless long as reindeers flight baking cookies late at night Ryan's gifts all wrapped up tight Christmas joy is shining bright LED lights on garage door Christmas magic more and more and more Ryan's laid a festive board that's what bucks big hits the door Brian's love for Ho ho ho eggnogging the wind took glow Shackled by lust mistletoe hanging balls where trees will show LED lights on garage door Christmas magic more and more.
Jared
Ryan's.
E
Late festive bore that's why Buck's big hits a d door.
Jared
Would you rather be a welder or mechanic?
Miles
Welder.
Jared
Same.
Miles
Mostly because it's not so much the welding. That welding would be fun, but going around and being able to critique all of the other welders. I think that's why you become a welder.
Tyler
Mm.
Miles
Basically welders are just professional critics for sure. Plus, like, when you go to places, you know, you go to a stadium or something like that. Ocular. Pat down all the welds in the entire place. You know where to sit. You don't want to see shoddy craftsmanship. You don't want to sit in section J. You want to be in section M instead.
Jared
Is that LM&P? I don't know my Alphabet that well. Is that bad?
Miles
Oh, you can't start in an Alphabet and go, Yeah, X is five letters. I mean, it's only something you learn in kindergarten. So go. I'll let the audience decide if that's bad or not.
Jared
But I did learn the song in kindergarten, so. But I always have to sing the song over and over in my head.
Miles
All right, Rapid Fire. You get one second to answer. What letter comes after S?
Jared
Yeah, I was like, that one's one.
Miles
That one's so easy.
Ryan
T. Yes.
Miles
Okay, I got it.
Jared
See, I got it.
Miles
This is family feudal. You only got a couple seconds to answer. You get the big red X. Jerry, what comes after Q? R. That was almost too close. I mean, I would have you, but.
Jared
You would have gotten that right away.
Miles
Yeah.
Jared
Do P.
Miles
Q that you might have gotten on that one. I'm not gonna lie. All right, Jake. H, I. That one's easy. Spells high. I mean, all the. We did the hard ones. No, you did not. G, H. Yeah, that's good.
Jared
Do it, too.
Miles
You were doing it in your head. No, I wasn't.
Jared
Yeah, you.
Tyler
You were.
Jared
What about Z, Jake?
Miles
Nothing after that.
Jared
That's good.
Miles
See, no C's after B now. Now is after Z. Now I know my ABCs. And N is after Z.
Jared
Bed wizard.
Miles
Also, the. Being a mechanic, you gotta wash your hands too much. You gotta be.
Jared
Oh, yeah.
Miles
You always gotta have a rag on you. You know what I mean?
Jared
Oil on your hands.
Miles
You're just constantly doing this with your hands. Also citrus scrub. That stuff. I mean, that stuff is awesome, though. The little.
Jared
Over and over again.
Miles
That's true. Soap with the little rocks in it. Yeah. It's just. It's too many. Too many hand rigs for my liking. I think I'd rather put the cool helmet on. Weld some.
Jared
Yeah, but dirty, dirty hands. Clean money with it, though.
Miles
That's true. Then I couldn't wear those shirts. If I'm a welder, I wear gloves. That would be dumb. Then that would just be clean hands, clean money, dirty gloves.
Jared
What would be the lowest.
Miles
Some welder in the comments? Like, what the. You mean we get our hands dirty? I make $90,000 a year.
Jared
What would be the lowest amount of money? Miles for you to get a dirty hands, clean body tattoo.
Miles
Tattoo. It would be a lot. Lot.
Jared
It's got to be, like, the low.
Miles
I mean, it would have be a lot of money. Where could I put it? Where could I. Where do I got to put it?
Jared
I'd say the back of your shoulder blade.
Miles
A million dollars? Yeah, a million dollars.
Jared
I'd probably do it for probably ten grand. I would do it.
Miles
Really?
Jared
I would do that for ten grand.
Miles
I. I. Can we. Let's book my. Can we muster up ten grand somehow if things start going well for us.
Jared
If we get 20,000 patrons.
Miles
Well, now that our career. Now our career is about to take off. Now we gone to Madison. Give us six months, and we may be able to make that happen. Jared.
Jared
20,000 patrons.
Miles
That. That's our. That's our one of our Mr. Beast videos. I gave this average Midwest guy who $10,000 to get a tattoo on his back. I would do it. And then we locked him in solitary confinement for seven days. Like, what's. I don't see the coral. I just. That's the formula. Everything's got to be seven days in solitary.
Jared
Just picking up my skin. Just try to get it off.
Miles
You're, like, in solitary. Like, I need some more ointment for this tattoo too.
Jared
It's burning. The next week, I just get laser removal. The cash.
Miles
This. Yeah. Guys, if you want more, you bet your radio. You got to check out our Patreon. You got to go to patreon.com you bet radio or look us up on the app, and we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you got to check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.
You Betcha Radio Episode Summary
Title: Things You Can Say in ANY Conversation 🎙 #306
Release Date: December 25, 2024
In Episode #306 of You Betcha Radio, the hosts—Myles ("You Betcha" Guy), Ryan ("the T-Shirt Guy"), Tyler, and Jared—dive into the festive spirit with their characteristic Midwest charm. This Christmas-themed episode explores unique conversational phrases suitable exclusively for the holiday season and transitions into universally applicable sayings that can enhance any dialogue. Packed with humor, personal anecdotes, and lively discussions, the episode offers listeners both entertainment and insightful takes on holiday traditions and communication.
The episode kicks off with the hosts brainstorming phrases that are perfect for Christmas conversations but might seem out of place at other times of the year.
Myles (00:57): "I like the way your balls hang."
Context: Ryan cleverly twists this comment to reference Christmas ornaments, making it a humorous and context-appropriate remark during the holiday season.
Ryan (02:17): "Hey, cuz, want to go for a walk?"
Context: Typically unusual outside family gatherings, this phrase fits seamlessly into Christmas interactions, especially when navigating family dynamics or holiday events.
The hosts emphasize the importance of context, ensuring that such phrases are delivered appropriately—standing by the Christmas tree or holding an ornament—to maintain the festive spirit without causing awkwardness.
Transitioning from Christmas-specific sayings, the hosts discuss versatile phrases that can seamlessly fit into virtually any conversation, enhancing engagement and flow.
Myles (25:20): "Damn, that's crazy."
Jared (25:26): "That's wild."
Context: These expressions serve as effective conversational fillers, allowing speakers to acknowledge surprising or interesting points without derailing the discussion.
Ryan (28:19): "It is what it is."
Context: Acknowledges situations that are beyond one's control, making it a handy phrase in both casual and more serious conversations.
The discussion highlights how these phrases can keep conversations lively and show active listening, making interactions more dynamic and responsive.
A significant portion of the episode delves into the elaborate world of Christmas decorations, focusing on the creativity and sometimes the over-the-top nature of holiday light displays.
Tyler (51:30): Discusses the efficiency and multifunctionality of using projectors for Christmas lighting, allowing homeowners to display various themes like Easter or Halloween without additional setups.
Myles (53:09): Envisions a future where garage doors are transformed into LED displays, functioning as dynamic screens that can showcase messages, advertisements, or even live feeds, blending practicality with festivity.
The hosts humorously critique inflatable decorations, sharing anecdotes about neighborhood setups and the challenges posed by harsh Midwest weather conditions. They also brainstorm innovative ideas for integrating technology with traditional holiday displays, reflecting their Midwest ingenuity and love for practical solutions.
In a lively rapid-fire segment, the hosts engage in quick-thinking challenges and personal preference revelations.
Myles (71:53): Chooses welding over being a mechanic, citing the appeal of critiquing craftsmanship and the practicality of maintaining professionalism while staying clean.
Jared (76:01): Shares an intriguing fact about shipwrecks, adding an educational twist to the otherwise humorous exchanges.
Ryan (72:45): Quickly answers alphabet questions, showcasing the hosts' quick wit and camaraderie.
This segment underscores the hosts' chemistry and ability to blend knowledge with humor, keeping the energy high and the conversation engaging.
Throughout the episode, the hosts encourage listener participation and engagement, whether through sharing personal stories, reacting to audience comments, or discussing community-related topics like local concerts and events.
Tyler (21:29): Talks about attending a Pentatonix concert in Fargo, sharing experiences about large-scale local events and the unique challenges they present, such as traffic congestion and community enthusiasm.
Jared (61:12): Provides fascinating insights into maritime history, enhancing the episode with educational content that complements the humor and personal stories.
As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on New Year's resolutions and humorous takes on personal goals, tying back to the Christmas theme of reflection and future planning.
Myles (40:15): Jokes about cramming 200 tongs for their New Year's resolution, blending product promotion with lighthearted humor.
Ryan (65:53): Continues the playful banter about the practicality and humor of everyday household items, maintaining the episode's entertaining tone until the very end.
Myles (00:24): "Yeah, vibes are good but also Ryan's running late."
Ryan (02:52): "I like the way your balls hang. Make sure you're standing by the tree and be holding a ball in your hand."
Tyler (04:21): "Say at the strip club."
Myles (05:58): "I can't wait for a big, sweaty guy to break into my house and eat all my cookies."
Ryan (28:19): "It is what it is."
Jared (61:12): "The United Nations estimates that there are over 3 million shipwrecks on the ocean floor."
Episode #306 of You Betcha Radio masterfully blends holiday cheer with insightful conversations, all delivered through the lens of Midwest humor and camaraderie. From exploring unique Christmas phrases to dissecting universal conversational tools, and from discussing innovative decoration ideas to engaging in rapid-fire fun, the hosts provide a comprehensive and entertaining listen. Whether you're a long-time fan or a new listener, this episode offers a delightful mix of laughter, knowledge, and festive spirit that encapsulates the essence of You Betcha Radio.
Disclaimer: This summary is based on the provided transcript and may not capture every nuance of the actual podcast episode. For the full experience, listening to the episode is recommended.