This Guy Is Ruining March Madness + Real Life Severance 🎙 #318

Summary

Podcast Summary: "You Betcha Radio" Episode #318 - This Guy Is Ruining March Madness + Real Life Severance

Release Date: March 19, 2025

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Introduction: Vacation Mode and Airport Antics (00:00 - 02:00)

Myles kicks off the episode with his signature Midwest charm, welcoming listeners back and joking about his co-hosts not sounding ready to "rock and roll." The conversation quickly shifts to their upcoming vacations.

• Myles (00:00): "Welcome back to you bet. Your radio podcast, the coldest podcast in all the Midwest."
• Ryan (00:17): "Sex, drugs. Now that I have your attention."
• Myles (00:24): "This episode's coming out this week. You decided."

The team shares their travel plans, highlighting the challenges of flying from smaller airports like Fargo versus Minneapolis. Tyler humorously critiques the airport's new parking ramp design, recounting his unpleasant experience in freezing temperatures.

• Tyler (01:39): "The dumbest thing they did with that parking ramp at the airport is it stretches across the entire front of the airport."

Traveling with Kids: Strategies and Shenanigans (02:00 - 12:00)

The hosts delve into the logistics and humorous dilemmas of flying with children. Myles expresses anxiety about taking his kid on an airplane for the first time, sparking a lively discussion on coping mechanisms.

• Tyler (02:57): "It's not as bad as everyone says. You just keep filling them with food."
• Ryan (03:10): "I guess it all depends on the mindset you go into it with."

They brainstorm creative (and comedic) strategies to handle crying children, including preemptive apologies and engaging other passengers in humorous ways.

• Miles (04:14): "Just want to let you know I'm apologizing in advance. I'm going to do everything I can besides putting a muzzle on them to keep him quiet."

The conversation highlights their shared experiences and the universal challenges of traveling with kids, blending empathy with humor.

Real Life Severance: Exploring Dual Consciousness (12:00 - 24:00)

Transitioning to a more thought-provoking topic, the hosts discuss the popular TV show Severance, which explores the concept of severing work and personal life through a brain chip.

• Tyler (14:16): "The whole premise is that they have developed this chip they put in your brain and so that when you walk into work, your personality completely severs."

They debate the ethical implications and personal ramifications of having dual consciousnesses, contemplating what aspects of their lives they'd choose to sever if given the option.

• Miles (15:20): "It would be nice to just get all the benefits from working out, but just never remember what working out is like."

The discussion delves into the potential psychological impacts and the blurred lines between personal and professional identities, reflecting on how Severance mirrors real-life dilemmas.

March Madness Madness: Commissioning Woes and Bracket Busts (24:00 - 60:00)

A substantial portion of the episode is dedicated to their experiences with March Madness bracket pools. Jared sets up the pool, but communication issues soon lead to frustrations among the hosts regarding deadlines and participation.

• Miles (38:42): "Jared set up our pool, correct?"
• Ryan (43:02): "Do you think we'll see a perfect bracket before we see a Viking Super Bowl?"

They exchange stories about past bracket fiascoes, overcomplicating strategies, and the often chaotic nature of office pools. Tyler laments the lack of effective communication from commissioners, while Ryan shares his skepticism about ever achieving a perfect bracket.

• Tyler (40:29): "No, because humans aren't making it another billion years. Just not. Not gonna happen."

The banter touches on the improbability of perfect predictions, the amusing reasons behind unlikely bracket picks, and the inevitable heartbreak when predictions fail.

• Ryan (52:57): "The odds of filling out a Perfect bracket are 1 in 9.2 quintillion."

Their lighthearted yet relatable conversation captures the essence of March Madness fervor, complete with inside jokes and witty observations about the unpredictability of the tournament.

Fun Facts Frenzy: Trivia and Tall Tales (60:00 - 73:00)

In a departure from their usual topics, the hosts engage in a "Fun Facts" segment, sharing intriguing tidbits interspersed with playful skepticism about their accuracy.

• Jared (62:06): "The Caesar salad was invented in July 1924 by Caesar Cardini, an Italian chef who owned a restaurant in Tijuana, Mexico."

While some facts are genuine, others become avenues for comedic embellishments, such as Tyler's humorous take on the saltiness of oceans.

• Tyler (64:34): "The Atlantic Ocean is saltier than the Pacific Ocean because Pacific slept with his girlfriend or something."

This segment showcases their camaraderie and ability to blend information with humor, keeping listeners entertained with a mix of truth and playful fiction.

Merchandise Mayhem: Promoting the Brand (35:00 - 38:00)

A brief yet spirited segment revolves around promoting their merchandise. Myles proudly displays their latest shirts, while Ryan jokingly defends the stock levels.

• Myles (35:11): "We got hats on there. We have any vests left?"
• Ryan (36:03): "We got two XLs and three XLs. I'm gonna have a couple larges back on the site end of the week."

The hosts humorously navigate the logistics of selling merchandise, including the elusive inventory and playful suggestions for product placement.

• Tyler (37:00): "They're not from there."

This segment highlights their entrepreneurial spirit and ability to market their brand with humor and authenticity.

Conclusion and Outro: Wrapping Up with Wit (73:00 - End)

As the episode nears its end, the hosts conclude with a mix of humor and camaraderie, teasing future episodes and emphasizing the community aspect of their Patreon.

• Miles (65:32): "So, guys, if you want more, you bet your radio, you got to check out our Patreon."

They share a final round of jokes about March Madness brackets and playful ribbing about each other's strategies, reinforcing the fun and engaging nature of their podcast.

• Miles (66:13): "May your brackets be unbusted."

The episode closes with a guest rendition of an outro song, adding a melodic and creative touch to the conclusion.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Myles (00:00): "Welcome back to you bet. Your radio podcast, the coldest podcast in all the Midwest."
• Ryan (00:17): "Sex, drugs. Now that I have your attention."
• Tyler (01:39): "The dumbest thing they did with that parking ramp at the airport is it stretches across the entire front of the airport."
• Miles (04:14): "Just want to let you know I'm apologizing in advance. I'm going to do everything I can besides putting a muzzle on them to keep him quiet."
• Tyler (14:16): "The whole premise is that they have developed this chip they put in your brain and so that when you walk into work, your personality completely severs."
• Ryan (52:57): "The odds of filling out a Perfect bracket are 1 in 9.2 quintillion."
• Myles (65:32): "So, guys, if you want more, you bet your radio, you got to check out our Patreon."
• Tyler (64:34): "The Atlantic Ocean is saltier than the Pacific Ocean because Pacific slept with his girlfriend or something."

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Key Takeaways

• Humorous Insights on Travel: The hosts provide relatable and comedic takes on the challenges of traveling, especially with children, blending personal anecdotes with light-hearted advice.

• Thought-Provoking Discussion on Severance: They engage in an in-depth discussion about the ethical and psychological aspects of severing work and personal lives, reflecting on the show's implications for real-life work-life balance.

• March Madness Madness: The episode offers a candid and amusing look into the frustrations of managing March Madness brackets, highlighting common issues in office pools and the near impossibility of a perfect bracket.

• Engaging Fun Facts: The hosts' "Fun Facts" segment adds an element of trivia mixed with humor, showcasing their dynamic and entertaining interaction.

• Promoting Community and Merch: They effectively promote their merchandise and Patreon, emphasizing the community aspect of their podcast and encouraging listener engagement.

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For more engaging discussions and exclusive content, visit You Betcha Radio's Patreon and explore their range of merchandise at youbetcha.com.

Transcript

[Miles]

Welcome back to you bet. Your radio podcast, the coldest podcast in all the Midwest. I'm Miles the you betcha guy here with Ryan the T shirt guy. We are live and we are back, and we are ready to rock and roll, folks. You guys don't sound very Ready to. Rock and roll.

[Ryan]

I was gonna say sex, drugs, and rock and roll, baby.

[Miles]

That's right. Sex, drugs. Now that I have your attention.

[Ryan]

Yeah, there we go.

[Jared]

Rock and roll.

[Tyler]

There it is.

[Miles]

So this. This episode's coming out this week. You decided. Yeah, probably. I'm in absolute vacation mode.

[Tyler]

I was in pure mode.

[Miles]

I got a case of the.

[Ryan]

How many days did you go on vacation? 2.

[Miles]

Well, I technically leave tomorrow.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

And I fly out the next day.

[Ryan]

Sure. So you're about 36 hours.

[Miles]

I decided to drive far instead of fly far. Not flying out of Fargo. I'm flying out of Minneapolis. Cambodia. Yeah, that was Fargo airport's campaign back in the day. Do you want to drive far or you want to fly far? So you should fly far. Go. It actually wasn't bad.

[Ryan]

That's. I mean, I'm still thinking about it.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

The fact you still remember that. I mean.

[Miles]

Yeah. I headed to Cambodia for the second time this winter.

[Tyler]

We gotta get that on the next city council meeting. We need direct flights from Fargo to the boats.

[Miles]

That would be nice. God, it would be nice. I mean. Yeah. I had to drive far to do it.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I would be nice if I could fly far, go to Cambodia.

[Tyler]

The boats.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. We are doubling our gates basically in Fargo, though. So really moving up in the world.

[Tyler]

We are getting a parking ramp, which is.

[Miles]

Parking ramp. But the dumbest thing they did with that parking ramp at the airport is it stretches across the entire front of the airport. And so if you park at the airport, logic says, let's just give them a path right down the middle right into the front door. But no, they. They make you go to it and then walk all the way around the parking structure while it's under construction and come all the way back around, which is fine in the summer. But when it was, like, negative 10 earlier this year, I was absolutely freezing my nuts off by the time I got in there.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it was terrible.

[Miles]

I actually saw this old lady walking. I felt so bad for her. She was upset.

[Tyler]

So quite literally right now, you do have to walk far.

[Miles]

You have to walk far. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Do you want to fly far? Well, then you need to walk far. And. Yeah, it's a whole thing. What was I gonna say?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Going to Cambodia Again, nice little trip. This one's just for fun. Play some golf.

[Ryan]

Whole family though, right?

[Miles]

Yeah. We're bringing the kid on the airplane, which is going to be. Has any of you, either of you guys.

[Tyler]

Several times?

[Ryan]

Yeah, a couple times. One time when he was about. He was about your kid's name.

[Miles]

I'm taking my kid on an airplane for the first time. What can I expect?

[Tyler]

It's not as bad as everyone says. You just keep filling them with food.

[Miles]

Camp food.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

But it can be. It can get to a point where it is as bad as you think it is.

[Tyler]

I've always had good experience.

[Ryan]

I guess it all depends on like the mindset you go, you go into it with. It's like, if your kid starts crying, do you care if other people around you are like, could be a little bit. What's the word I'm trying to think of? Irritated?

[Tyler]

Pissy.

[Miles]

Absolutely.

[Ryan]

Okay. I'm the exact same. My, I mean, my child, he cried for a two and a half hour flight straight.

[Tyler]

Oh, no.

[Ryan]

And it was during the night too. So I'm like, oh, God.

[Miles]

I.

[Ryan]

Like, I haven't had. So I didn't have. I've never had so much stress built up in my body in my entire life.

[Miles]

What I think I should do is I should go to like the like eight rows around my row and just before the flight even takes off, start shaking hands, kissing other babies.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And just let everyone know, like, hey, I just want to apologize ahead of time. We got a little squeaker back there. You might be wailing during this.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Just want to let you know I'm apologizing advance. I'm going do everything I can besides putting a muzzle on them to keep him quiet. You know, do the politician route. Get ahead of it. Might be a good move.

[Tyler]

You could also just try deflecting. Like, if baby's really getting after and he's, he's, he's screaming his lungs out, you'd be like, hey, lady, you want to pipe that kid down? No one's looking at you anymore.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. Or just like cut the tension by saying that about your own kid. Like, well, someone shut that kid off. No, this guy. I think if it goes that route, I may just have to. You might get a heavy dose of the pacifier. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

We try to only do that around sleeping time, but yeah, one little squeak right in the mouth.

[Tyler]

No. So we flew with all three of our, our boys in January and all of my typical parenting rules on that plane out the window. How much screen Time you want, buddy. You can have it the whole flight. Many snacks you want. Whatever you want. Take it.

[Miles]

And bought headphones for our baby. In case it become comes to this. Download some, because Ms. Rachel's now on Netflix.

[Tyler]

Perfect.

[Miles]

Download that. It's. It's. The headphones are like. Literally looks like a. Like. Like a sweat band that goes around the kid's head. And then the headphones are just in the smart over the ear type of vi. We haven't tried them out yet, but could be a good move.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I. I like. You know, you can also tell the neighbors around you like, hey, my kid. My kid's not an iPad kid. Don't get the. Don't get the wrong impression. He might be watching some tv, though. So just don't label me as an iPad parent.

[Tyler]

Nah, they will. You'll never see those people ever again.

[Ryan]

Not exactly.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So that's what actual piece of advice for you. They can't pop their own ears. So when you're taking off and landing, give him something to eat, and then the chewing will make his ears pop. Otherwise, it really irritates them.

[Miles]

Great T tip. That's a great tip.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I think right when you walk in the plane, too, you definitely got to get some wings for him. Some. One of those.

[Miles]

Yeah. Maybe get them in the cockpit.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

A little photo op.

[Ryan]

My kid. They actually. They said that my. My kid could go in the cockpit and just look at the pilots he's obsessed with.

[Miles]

I did that.

[Ryan]

It's the best.

[Tyler]

Cool.

[Ryan]

So, yeah, you got. You got a cute kid, Miles. They'll probably let him in.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Or ask the airline if you could check.

[Miles]

So hold on. Hold on. One jig. Are you saying that they don't let ugly babies in the cockpit?

[Ryan]

Well, I. I think they're. I. I think adults are just. I think they're more drawn to.

[Miles]

Hey, hey, little Timmy. You want to go in the cockpit? Oh, God, no. No, no, no.

[Tyler]

Look at you, Jimmy. No way.

[Miles]

Yeah. Oh, God, he's got a lazy eye, ma'am. I mean, I feel like there's no way we're gonna let a kid with a lazy eye.

[Jared]

He looks too much like you.

[Ryan]

I feel like it's. It's like.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, who do we got here? It's a little Timmy. He looks. He looks just like you, Timmy. You want to go? The mom's like, can we put him in the cockpit? Oh, no, he's looked. He's not very good looking after just saying it looks like the mom.

[Tyler]

We have a Strict. No uggos in the cockpit. Sorry.

[Ryan]

So, I mean, think about a puppy, though, right? If you see like a golden retriever puppy and then let's say you see like a shih Tzu puppy or something, like, you're just gonna be more drawn to look at the golden retriever puppy. I feel like.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That the pup. Both puppies can go in the cockpit, though. I don't think cuteness has reason.

[Ryan]

I'm just saying what. Where attention gets drawn to and in order for your kid to get in the cockpit. Oh, you're saying it's like attention has.

[Miles]

Popularity contest because there's only.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

There's only so many. So much room in the cockpit and so much time.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So you're saying you got to jump by having a Q kid helps you jump the list on getting on the cock.

[Ryan]

I would say so, yeah. It probably even jumps you ahead of first class, too.

[Miles]

Oh, wow. Okay. All right.

[Tyler]

That is another thing. Any. When they say anyone that needs extra time boarding, you qualify because you have a kid.

[Miles]

Yeah, but I'm trying to be cool about it. No, you know, like, just like, you can't be the nerdy dweeby parents that need extra time and you're not comfortable having a kid around.

[Tyler]

I took it.

[Ryan]

I think you.

[Tyler]

You also.

[Ryan]

You also don't want sit on the plane any longer than you have to. So, like, we ended up boarding last because it's like, well, not gonna take off without us.

[Tyler]

I think that's fine. Boarding last or boarding first because, like, trying to board in the middle when you're regular. Supposed to board with a bunch of kids is a show that's worse than the flight itself.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Because you gotta get everything ready. And.

[Tyler]

Yep, you got like a hundred bags. Each kid has a lap bag. You have your lap bags. You got the overhead bags, and you're trying to get these kids situated. The whole line is stuck behind you. If you go and you're supposed to.

[Miles]

Yeah. Also he's in the stage where he puts stuff in his mouth, but it doesn't always reach his throat, you know? You know, that's. It'll come out. It'll come out the front end. And so you just. Even if you gave him, like, a little puff, it's just going to end up on the floor. And I'm just going to. The whole. The whole time. I'm going to end up just picking stuff up off the floor. So I'm not even going to download any shows. It's just going to be maintenance.

[Ryan]

No, you can't really. Unless they. Yeah, unless. Unless they're napping. You can't.

[Miles]

I'm just going to wear a. A jumpsuit. Like a janitor.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I got, like, a high backwards.

[Miles]

Hat jumpsuit, and then my carry on will just be a little cart with a garbage.

[Ryan]

Yeah. If you can't get that in, you can't get that in soon enough to. I. I do have a high vis vest I can borrow. You.

[Miles]

Yeah, I need maintenance staff for the. For the plane ride.

[Ryan]

Now, if it got to a point where you had to, like, would you walk up and down the aisle with him, like, holding him, trying to.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

How long is the flight?

[Jared]

12 hours.

[Ryan]

Not 12 hours. Let's say. Let's say three and a half. Let's say three and a Half. Just.

[Miles]

Well, yeah, let's go four.

[Ryan]

Okay, we'll go four. I think four is a good number.

[Tyler]

I'm way more likely to, like, just stand by the shitter and bounce them than I am to walk up and down the aisles.

[Miles]

Yeah, maybe I should try, like. Like, clearly nothing's working. Just, like, turn into, like, a woman who just has a motherly look to her and be like, do you want to give it a try? See if you got any tricks of the trade that you can show me?

[Jared]

I'm looking to the bullpen right now.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

Make a call. We long. Hit the. Hit the button for the. For the flight attendant. Be like, hey, you want to give this. I'm tapped out. I. I've tried my fastball, my slider, my curveball. I even tried an Es and nothing's working. So I think we got. Calling the bullpen.

[Jared]

You have a mother. Motherly charm to you.

[Tyler]

I think it's.

[Miles]

You just have that kind of warmth.

[Ryan]

You know, when you said hello to me as I was coming out of the plane, you really reminded me of my own mother. So be great if you could give this one a shot, too.

[Miles]

She's like. She's like 38 years old.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

She's like, remind me of my mother.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I think it's the ascot.

[Miles]

I don't know where you're going with that. When you first started that.

[Ryan]

No, I. I think it'll be all good. I think it'll be fine.

[Miles]

Worst comes to worst, just put them in the overhead compartment.

[Jared]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Well, throw.

[Miles]

These things are pretty sound.

[Tyler]

Pretty sound.

[Miles]

Put a little blanket. Nap time is.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

Actually, he probably would. If there was good air circulation in there, he probably would sleep in one of those.

[Tyler]

Yeah, just like a Baby.

[Ryan]

Hyperbaric chamber.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Sleeping pod, something like that.

[Tyler]

Just cross your fingers we don't hit any turbulence.

[Jared]

Oh, it snaps in pretty good.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Even if he does bounce around, I think it's pretty close.

[Ryan]

Like.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's not gonna be, you know, it's not gonna be like the size of this room bouncing back.

[Jared]

Exactly.

[Miles]

Should be good.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we don't. We don't condone child neglect.

[Miles]

No, that was a joke. So, yeah, should be good. He's pretty good, babies.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So you're not gonna download any shows yourself? You're on full maintenance duty?

[Miles]

Yeah, I might just. If he's good, I'm just gonna be in a raw dog situation.

[Jared]

Nice.

[Ryan]

He's gonna be staring at the. The headrest in front of you.

[Miles]

Did I tell you guys, last time I went to Cambodia, we sat next to a homeless guy who raw dogged the entire flight.

[Tyler]

Oh, wait, you said a homeless guy.

[Miles]

Yeah, he was quite literally homeless.

[Tyler]

But he got a. He bought a plane ticket.

[Miles]

He had no electronics. All he had was his little fanny pack. Just un. I didn't tell you guys this.

[Tyler]

No.

[Miles]

Unlimited amounts of papers in there. We sat down and he just started rifling through for, like, the first. We sat on the tarmac for, like, 20 minutes. He's just rifling through papers and a little bit of cash in there.

[Ryan]

Probably filing taxes or something.

[Miles]

Smelled. Smelled unbelievably bad. And so we started talking to him, and he's. He had an accident. He's clearly from, like, Australia or something. And he said that his sister booked his flight to Cambodia.

[Jared]

Wow.

[Miles]

And he just showed up and got on the plane and had no plan what he was going to do when he got there.

[Jared]

That's kind of awesome.

[Miles]

He's just gonna start walking very free. He had one carry on luggage, and then he was wearing, like, four shirts and, like, three or four different pants.

[Ryan]

Good idea.

[Miles]

So he could bring more clothes. Yeah, so I.

[Ryan]

How did you know?

[Miles]

And he just sat there like this the whole ride?

[Ryan]

I hate you. Probably. He's probably able to get through a lot of mental shows. How'd you know he was homeless? Asking for his address? Send him a Christmas card or what?

[Miles]

No, he just. He just started telling us that he just. Is. He. He's just. He just travels, Just moves around.

[Ryan]

Oh, kind of like a nomad. Yeah, yeah. He just plops down wherever he's at.

[Miles]

Because to me, home is where you park it, so.

[Ryan]

Yeah, well, it's where the heart is.

[Jared]

Too, so it's kind of Like Tom X in terminal. He just stays at a terminal for like 20 years.

[Miles]

Really? I didn't know that.

[Tyler]

Spoilers.

[Miles]

Spoiler alert.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So I may end up raw dog in the flight.

[Jared]

Do it.

[Tyler]

I was gonna recommend you download Severance and finally watch Severance, but I was thinking Severance is the hottest show on television right now. And I don't know if you guys have seen it or not.

[Ryan]

I want to see what's it on the Apple tv.

[Tyler]

The whole premise is that they have developed this chip they put in your brain and so that when you walk into work, your personality completely severs. So you're basically a whole other human while you're at work. And then you snap back out of it and you're a whole other person in your regular life. And so you're. You as a person don't have to experience work. So I was wondering if you guys could get the Severance chip, what would you sever yourself from so you never have to experience, but you know, you're basically creating a copy of yourself that his whole existence is this one thing working out. Okay.

[Miles]

Like, there's sometimes I like working out, but about 80% of the time I'm like this. I hate this. This sucks.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And so it would be nice to just get all the benefits from working out, but just never remember what working out is like.

[Tyler]

Would you feel guilty?

[Miles]

Like in the show, they just. It's like they almost like they're unconscious. Like they just nap or what?

[Tyler]

No. What?

[Jared]

You snap out of it.

[Tyler]

You snap. Like, right.

[Miles]

So it's like. It's instant. So they like come into work and then when they come back out, it's like to them it's 5pm yes.

[Tyler]

They're walking in and walking out.

[Miles]

Be awesome.

[Tyler]

So would you not feel bad at all, though, that you created this other version of yourself that is just. His whole life is just working workout. That's what they call them, the Innies and the Audis. You're in work and you're out of work.

[Miles]

You'd be a workout.

[Tyler]

Yeah. That's great.

[Miles]

Yeah, I don't. So, yeah, I suppose it's like you're torturing this other.

[Jared]

Yeah, exactly.

[Miles]

Well, I imagine my workouty is much like Ryan and he's just hard 75% of the time.

[Ryan]

I mean, 100%.

[Miles]

I don't think I feel guilty. I'm. He. He doesn't exist. I'm giving him existence.

[Tyler]

You are.

[Miles]

He doesn't exist if I don't do this program. So in reality, he should Be thanking.

[Jared]

Me for being in shape.

[Ryan]

Yeah, but so, so if he were to do that in the situation. If he were to do that, so he, he would see all the effects. He just wouldn't have.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, Miles. It's the same body. The only thing that changes is your mind.

[Jared]

Miles would be getting his cake and eating it too.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. And like I could just. The problem would be like my workout. The problem would be is that my workout self would be pissed at how I eat outside of working out.

[Ryan]

True.

[Miles]

So I'd be eating like dog and then the workout guy would have to work out extra harder and is like, I can't get this guy to just eat good.

[Jared]

Or like workout guy would like sprayed his ankle on purpose to piss you off.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

What the hell?

[Miles]

Blew a hammy.

[Tyler]

What the is he doing in there?

[Miles]

Just kidding at each other. Such an. I'm gonna eat. I'm gonna have my cake and eat it too tonight.

[Ryan]

Where the.

[Miles]

Just so he's gotta work out even harder.

[Ryan]

It's just.

[Tyler]

Just absolutely turns the wrong way. He's in there just around in the gym, not even working out just to spite you.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Completely backfired.

[Ryan]

And so I'm. I'm still trying to kind of understand the whole thing. So it can only be like one thing. So like, this one is work. This one is working out.

[Tyler]

But for this question. Yes.

[Ryan]

Well, there's not really nothing I do like, how about showering?

[Tyler]

Yeah, you can do that. Except I think I would. I think his entire life is just you butt, ass naked, showering pretty.

[Ryan]

Oh, okay. Okay. Now I'm following.

[Tyler]

So it's the same for him. He's literally just like. If you. For the work, it's just the guy shows up to work and then he leaves and he's right back in work the next morning. His whole existence is at that office. So this dude's whole existence that you just created is showering.

[Miles]

He's just scrubbing your balls.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Yeah, eventually they, they'd get. They dry out, you'd think. And. Yeah, that wouldn't be a very good life to live.

[Miles]

Well, no, because he. The body then leaves. I. I don't think you're full.

[Ryan]

I'm really not. I'm really. I need to hear more examples of.

[Tyler]

Okay, so I think for mine it'd be driving. Because I don't think it's that miserable of an experience for my innie to be in the car and seeing cool shit.

[Miles]

There's people that drive for a living as a child.

[Tyler]

Right. And it's also, it's. I think that'd be kind of nice if I got. Especially got a long road trip out of me. I get in the second he gets out to see something cool or get gas, I'm back. Like, oh, sweet, we made it four hours before that.

[Miles]

I mean, I would. I would probably drive more places. Not fly places.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I would just have to make sure the GPS is preloaded for him. Otherwise he's going to have no fucking clue where we're supposed to be going.

[Jared]

Like Hollywood, Florida, California.

[Miles]

You have to leave a note for them.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Leave a note on where we're headed.

[Ryan]

It's essentially something you want to just time travel through.

[Tyler]

Yeah. But also not ruin that other existence.

[Miles]

I didn't know that was not ruining the other existence.

[Tyler]

No, you can. It's totally up to you.

[Jared]

Yeah, well, that's depends on what you eat.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That'S a good one. Driving is good.

[Jared]

I would do like any sort of appointment.

[Tyler]

Any appointment.

[Jared]

Any appointment.

[Miles]

I'd like. I'd like to do surgery.

[Jared]

Yeah, surgery.

[Tyler]

Poor guy.

[Miles]

Oh, you're just unconscious during surgery.

[Tyler]

I'm thinking of like the biggest waste.

[Miles]

Of that program ever.

[Tyler]

A billion dollar. The dentist.

[Jared]

That'd be nice.

[Miles]

I don't mind for you just.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

It's an interesting thought.

[Jared]

Sweater right here.

[Tyler]

I don't know, I'm just obsessed with the show and I've been thinking about this since I started watching. Like, what would I sever myself from?

[Miles]

Do you get it now, Ryan?

[Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, my brain's still a little pretzeled up right now. I'm trying. I'm just. I'm trying to think through the whole thing. I mean, you guys took all the good ones. What'd you say, Jared?

[Jared]

Like appointments.

[Ryan]

So your whole existence would be the other guys?

[Tyler]

The other version of Jared.

[Ryan]

Correct.

[Tyler]

Whole life is just appointments.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Like DMV doctor.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So what's wrong? What's wrong with shot? Let's just go. Personal hygiene.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I mean that, that's, that, that's a. It's a terrible.

[Miles]

Trimming your toe and fingernails. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Shaving my.

[Miles]

And brushing your teeth.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Cuz originally I was like, maybe it's taking shits. But then that's like that guy's whole life is just glued to the sh.

[Miles]

No. Yeah. That whole guy's life is just scrolling on tick tock.

[Tyler]

True, true life.

[Miles]

Not a bad life.

[Ryan]

Tick tock shop that he's bought.

[Tyler]

Then if my wife gets mad at me for taking too long of a Like it wasn't me, it was my innie. He was the one taking shit so long, not me.

[Miles]

School would be great.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Just because then you would just have the knowledge.

[Tyler]

No, it doesn't translate. Oh yeah, you don't get. You don't get any of the memories from your severed self that.

[Miles]

Never mind. It wouldn't work. Just that guy would get really smart.

[Tyler]

Just be dumb as. And your innie is super smart.

[Miles]

That would suck. We'll go if you want it to be. If you wanted to be really nice to your inie or whatever you call them. It's just anytime you're at a bar, you just sacrifice going to the bar and then they get to. This whole life is just them drinking at a bar.

[Tyler]

That ain't bad actually.

[Miles]

But here's the question. Are you the work person or are you the non work person in severance? That's the whole mind, right?

[Tyler]

That. Yeah. The show deals with a whole bunch of dilemmas like that.

[Jared]

Yeah. There's multiple consciousnesses and all that.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Miles]

It's a mess.

[Tyler]

It's like did you really. Who. Who should be in charge? Does the any have rights because they are a person, but it's you that put them in there. So do you have control over them?

[Miles]

Yeah, it's like what is the most. What's the more dominant person?

[Tyler]

Right. Or are they equals to the Innies deserve as much rights as the Audis do.

[Miles]

Very interesting.

[Jared]

That's great show.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Maybe like severed if I'm just hungover. So my enies always hung over.

[Tyler]

I mean they'd probably come to like. Like they wouldn't know any better. There's like. This is what people feel like. I guess it's true.

[Miles]

Very true.

[Ryan]

Well, so like why does it matter what they. Why, why would it matter if their whole existence is being hungover? Because you don't. You wouldn't feel that anyways.

[Tyler]

But they would. Correct.

[Ryan]

But why does that matter?

[Miles]

Well, technically you would. Because it's still your consciousness. It's just another consciousness.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but it's like when you came out of it, you'd no longer be hungover. So basically it'd be like you saying, Tyler, you're going to be always hungover. And that's my entire existence. You chose that for me. You're choosing that for something. Something that has a conscience.

[Miles]

So in reality, like I. What I gather about severance. Again, you're talking. This is from a guy, I think he's never seen it. But from what I'm gathering, what the advantage Is. Is that you don't have work baggage in your personal life. There's no mental baggage that you bring personal life. So you can just live your personal life.

[Tyler]

Right. And then the argument on the work side is that you have an elite employee, someone whose entire life is literally work and it doesn't bother them because they don't know any better.

[Miles]

Correct. So working out is a terrible example because you're still going to feel the physical pain.

[Tyler]

You would. Yeah. You so like. Yeah. So if in the show, if an innie gets hurt, they. They leave and the Audi still has that cut and you're like, what the happened to me?

[Miles]

Well, no, I understand that, but I mean the. What's what the show. Why you would sever yourself is so that you don't cross pollinate mental patterns.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That's what they're after. So working out is just dumb maybe.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah. I wouldn't say it's dumb.

[Tyler]

I. I think that's a pretty good answer. I think you've got a pretty good grasp on how it works too.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. Trying to think of where you get where you wouldn't want to cross pollinate mental loops.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I mean, maybe work's pretty good.

[Ryan]

Yeah. That's probably Family Feud. That'd be the number one answer.

[Miles]

We should do a show about that. That'd be. I'd watch that.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Call it Family Feud.

[Miles]

That's good.

[Tyler]

Jared, what was yours?

[Ryan]

Maybe. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Oh yeah.

[Ryan]

Maybe doing your taxes. Sit down once a year. I mean, there's build up to it though.

[Jared]

Suppose.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I don't.

[Miles]

Yeah. Collecting all your 1099 K ones and. Yeah, well, twos just block all that out.

[Ryan]

I. I don't have Apple tv, so I'll go one for one. I'll swap you Netflix for Apple tv.

[Tyler]

Sure. Yeah. When's the last time you got a phone? An iPhone. You get like a year free when you get a phone. So just. You should just try and log in.

[Ryan]

A year and a half ago.

[Miles]

Probably about six months. You can watch Severance. Yeah, that's what you should do. You should sever between new iPhones. Just wake up and you just have a new phone and you have Apple TV.

[Ryan]

Yeah, right. IPhone. What? 17 at that point.

[Miles]

So why does the show explore. Exploring why that is a show. Exploring that they then could have three personalities.

[Tyler]

I don't want to spoil much.

[Jared]

I'm not cut up yet.

[Miles]

Blink twice if I'm headed in the right direction. Let's go. I knew it. I knew it.

[Tyler]

What did me blinking Matter if you're just gonna clap now they know how many times I blinked.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. You could have just told us. Yeah, because. Yeah, he kind of gave away how many times he blinked.

[Miles]

Oh, I'm in the right direction.

[Ryan]

Spoiler alert.

[Miles]

Yes. I mean, that's obvious.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Then you're gonna get people that want 18 personalities.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

And it's just gonna. Where do we draw the line? You know, coming from a guy who's never seen the show, but I think I don't even need to watch it because I just.

[Tyler]

Did you get the premise?

[Miles]

So nice. Oh, it's an interesting thought. What do you got going on, Jared?

[Jared]

I'm starting to, like, date a lot of things now.

[Ryan]

I was. I thought you were starting to date, and I'm like, what?

[Jared]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Ryan]

What happened?

[Jared]

Like. Like, I'll buy a new pair of jeans and I'll put the date on them, or I'll buy a big bottle of ketchup and I'll put that.

[Tyler]

I thought you'd be like, I'm trying out these jeans and I keep the tag on. I'm just dating.

[Miles]

That's what I thought you were. I don't know.

[Jared]

I'm literally like, writing the, like, October 24th on them. And I'd seen how long they last. Even, like, ketchup bottles. I do it.

[Tyler]

Why?

[Jared]

Just to see how long it lasts. Like, how many ketchup bottles do I buy? Or how. How often do I buy new jeans?

[Ryan]

What about when you throw it away, though? Then you're just gonna lose the date.

[Jared]

No. Then I know. Oh, I lasted this long. One, two years.

[Ryan]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Miles]

So, one. I actually think that that's a great idea. I think that's a great idea. I would have never thought to do that, especially on a pair of jeans. That's crazy.

[Jared]

I've had such bad luck with jeans, like, in the last four years or whatever. So, like, I'm just start dating these. See how long they actually last for.

[Tyler]

So how long have you been doing this?

[Jared]

A few months.

[Tyler]

And any surprising results yet?

[Jared]

Not yet.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Jared]

The jury's still.

[Ryan]

I think it's. Yeah, we haven't gone through enough time yet.

[Tyler]

Like, what did you find on ketchup? How fast are you burning through ketchup?

[Jared]

It was about eight months, like, one of the bigger bottles. So I'm just. And it's just kind of interesting inventory knowledge.

[Miles]

Okay, so you're just. You're a data guy. You just want to get some data points out there and see a graph.

[Jared]

Because I Don't know how much ketchup I'm buying every year.

[Tyler]

And when you have all this information in 5 years from now or whatever you feel like, what are you gonna do with it? Are you gonna change your behavior based off results?

[Jared]

I think to my future, kind of like you should be only buying ketchup like, once or twice a year.

[Tyler]

You're using too much ketchup.

[Miles]

Once every 0.67 years is how often you should be buying ketchup.

[Jared]

Once every three quarters.

[Ryan]

The data is going to change too, once you, you know, if you decide to have kids one day.

[Jared]

Exactly.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I was just gonna say we go through a bottle of ketchup once a month.

[Ryan]

Like, you could get a new pair of jeans last week and your kid, like, could knock a candle over and set them on fire, and then they're gone.

[Tyler]

Also, you're gonna need a data change.

[Miles]

The problem is, is, like the only data that you could gather from this that would be useful is if one brand doesn't last as long as another. But like, ketchup, that's just about your consumption.

[Jared]

I know. Yeah. I think it's just interesting.

[Miles]

But like, yeah, I get the. If you buy Levi's, it lasts for four years, whereas Wrangler lasts for three years. And you're like, I'll just buy Levi's, I'll get an extra year out of them.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Or I mean, yeah, there could be some outliers too. To where? Like, like this bottle of ketchup. You know, we had eight friends over and we cooked burgers and fries.

[Tyler]

Right. And you also have to make sure you control and get the same exact type of bottle. Yeah.

[Miles]

You need to put it like, you know, they. On liquor bottles, they have the one shot caps that only pour out one shot. You got to get that for your ketchup.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Because if you get one with a different nipple, you might get more ketchup per squeeze.

[Jared]

It's true.

[Ryan]

Squeeze nipples.

[Miles]

Then we can. Then we can locate all the waste, fraud, and abuse that's going on in your ketchup game. We might have to pull one.

[Tyler]

Are you. Wait, are you John Taffering yourself?

[Jared]

A little bit.

[Tyler]

Are you. Bar resting.

[Jared]

A little bit of bartender.

[Tyler]

Oh.

[Ryan]

What? So what kind of like, household items or products are you doing this with? You doing, like, toothpaste?

[Jared]

No, literally just ketchup and jeans so far. I was thinking about mayo, though, expanding.

[Tyler]

Those are the two most random.

[Jared]

They are random. Yeah. I'm not. I don't. I don't know. I don't know why? I think because my dad does it too. That's probably.

[Miles]

Here we go. How does that make you feel old that you are actually turning into your dad?

[Jared]

Yeah, it makes me feel so.

[Tyler]

Why? You don't need to do it. Your dad's got all the data for you.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, that's different styles, different ketchup.

[Miles]

It turns into a competition and be like, I, I made a ketchup bottle last 18 months. One year. Hey, one year and a half.

[Tyler]

Would you say this dating thing is in the jeans then?

[Miles]

And you would be. Are you wearing jeans?

[Jared]

I am.

[Miles]

There you go.

[Tyler]

What? Dates on those jeans walk in here.

[Miles]

And have Tyler look.

[Jared]

Maybe I didn't.

[Ryan]

I'm not. I think this is an air mail idea here.

[Tyler]

Oh, God, he's dropping the drawers. I don't see a date. You don't have, like, the tag thing.

[Ryan]

You'd think you start dating stuff, you'd know where you put the date at.

[Tyler]

I didn't think when we started this podcast that my hands would be in Jared's pants.

[Ryan]

Oh, he found it. He found it. October 24th.

[Tyler]

Yep. 1024.

[Ryan]

So they're five months old.

[Miles]

They look like they're holding up pretty good. Yeah, they actually look broke in, which is what you want in jeans.

[Ryan]

Turn around, show me your back pockets.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Slight little wearable. Yeah. Slight wallet fade, but not terrible.

[Miles]

Where? Where? In the wallet is a great band name.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is.

[Miles]

Or what? Yeah. Where on the wallet? That's a very interesting thing. I was just gonna say someday your grandchildren would be like, grandpa is crazy. He dates everything. And then you told me that your dad does it. So your. Your kids someday.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Just give them 10, 20 years after.

[Tyler]

Are you gonna date your kids stuff when they get a pair of jeans?

[Miles]

No. You know why? You know why this is great is in 30 years, when you're continuing to date stuff, you can accurately say that they just don't make stuff like they used to. I got the proof. True, because you have the proof. These. I had genes that lasted seven years, and now they only last two. The shoddy craftsmanship now.

[Tyler]

Or vice versa. If somebody says that and you'd be like, well, actually, back in the day, they only lasted a year and a half.

[Ryan]

Your grandkids are gonna hate you when.

[Miles]

You start doing, like, nerd facts. Guy, you are a fun fact gu. I am?

[Jared]

Yeah. They're going have to deal with that.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Jared in five years is going to have a fun fact. You be like, these jeans last this long. And I know because of my own research.

[Miles]

Well, but. But also, knowing when a pair of jeans is done so is also a very subjective thing, Jared.

[Jared]

Yeah. To me, it's like I always have pants rip on the crotch.

[Tyler]

So I think that's big junk.

[Miles]

If you trip and fall and rip it in your knee, it becomes a style item, not a reason to get.

[Jared]

Yeah, I'll still wear it.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Jared]

But it's in the crotch. It's no go.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

And I can't knit.

[Miles]

I remember sewing.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, you couldn't. You couldn't knit them back.

[Tyler]

I can't cross stitch, so.

[Miles]

I remember in middle school, high school, when ripped jeans became very popular and it made older people so unbelievably angry.

[Tyler]

And then when you could start buying them with pre.

[Miles]

That's what I'm saying. That's when that became popular. They couldn't. They. They couldn't speak. They were so upset that people were buying damaged goods, essentially, and it was unreal.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. For them, it'd be like going to. Like going to the store in their 20s, buying a Thermos that's already just banged up instead of buying it new 30 years later. It's just tattered. Yeah.

[Miles]

Classic joke to anyone that's got a rip in their jeans, is you trip on the way in here or what?

[Tyler]

Oh, holy. Those your church pants? They look holy to me.

[Ryan]

Would you pay full price for those things?

[Tyler]

Yeah. Where's the rest of them?

[Ryan]

Oh, God.

[Jared]

If you have your pants, like, on your ass, not, you know, on your waist, they get super pissed too.

[Tyler]

Yeah, the low pants out of your.

[Miles]

Boxers are hanging out super fast. All right, guys, before we get in the next segment, gotta remind you that we got some nice merchandise over at. Oh, you betcha. Dot com. Today, I'm wearing the. Oh, oh, oh. I'm wearing a shirt. Oh, oh. None of the rest of you guys are wearing any merchandise underneath.

[Tyler]

I don't know if we sell it anymore, though. What is it, big boy?

[Miles]

No.

[Tyler]

Oh, I like that shirt, though.

[Miles]

So you think that the guy who's the merchandise guy would be wearing merchandise on the podcast, But I Trying to.

[Ryan]

Keep stuff in stock. I don't want to be taken off the shelves.

[Miles]

That's a good argument, actually.

[Tyler]

Solid comeback.

[Miles]

Yeah. This actually is one of my favorite shirts we ever done. I just. It just looks pleasing to the eye.

[Tyler]

To me, it looks peaceful.

[Ryan]

What's a good representation of the scenic landscape of the Midwest, too?

[Miles]

Trees and brush, and I think there's some deer back oh, that.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's Buck Brush specifically. Not just brush.

[Miles]

Sorry.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Jesus.

[Ryan]

Hey, it's all in the details.

[Tyler]

It is.

[Miles]

So you guys can get the details.

[Ryan]

Over brushes at all?

[Miles]

Oh, you betcha. Dot com. How much are these going for right now, Ryan?

[Ryan]

19.99.

[Miles]

1999. Great year. So you gotta go check my others. Also a black one. We got hats on there. We have any vests left?

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah, we got. We got xls. We got xls. We got two xls and three xls. I'm gonna have a couple larges back on the site end of the week.

[Miles]

Did you find them in the garbage?

[Tyler]

No, no, no.

[Ryan]

I found.

[Tyler]

They're not from there.

[Ryan]

They're not. They're not. They were not in the garbage. They were in a box that I did not know existed until.

[Miles]

Okay, so if you've been. If you've been.

[Ryan]

Mystery box.

[Miles]

Yeah. If you've been feeding for a large and they were sold out, Ryan just pulled them out of nowhere.

[Ryan]

End of the week, people are going.

[Miles]

To start thinking that you're lying about how much stock we have, and you just keep pulling it out of nowhere.

[Ryan]

No, you look at the site right? If you look at the site right now, they're at zero. And I wouldn't just keep people from buying them if we had them, you know, so I'll throw them back on.

[Miles]

Creating false demand.

[Ryan]

Yeah, whatever works. No, it's not false demand. Anyway.

[Miles]

Also goes to show our great organization system at this company, Mystery Boxes, that we can just find inventory in nooks and crannies around this place. That's what we should do.

[Jared]

Good problem.

[Miles]

That's a great. That's a great band name, but also a great name for if you were selling thrift stuff online. Just called Nooks and Crannies.

[Ryan]

Yeah, not a bad one.

[Tyler]

Also be a great for tanning salon. Make sure they get all the nooks.

[Miles]

And crannies as well as a waxing salon.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Barnes and Noble. No, no. Yeah, Barnes and Noble Nook.

[Tyler]

Those are books and grannies.

[Miles]

It's also a great name for a brothel. Nooks and crannies.

[Ryan]

I was gonna say massage parlor.

[Miles]

That too.

[Ryan]

Get all. Getting all the nooks and crannies.

[Tyler]

I like no toy the line there.

[Miles]

Yeah, we don't. We don't need that.

[Tyler]

We're not NFL coaches. Okay.

[Miles]

So that being said, guys, go to. Oh, you betcha. Dot com. Check it out. Oh, it's March Madness this week.

[Tyler]

It is.

[Miles]

Jared set up our pool, correct?

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

So I would. I was informed that I need to have my bracket done tonight because the first four are on there.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Ryan]

First four start tomorrow.

[Jared]

Yep. Tomorrow night.

[Miles]

So. Yep. Next year if we do a bracket, y'all let me know if I need to get the first four in because I was planning on Wednesday filling out my bracket and then Tyler told me he filled it out with the first four.

[Tyler]

It's just, I have no clue what I'm doing, so I just willy nilly it right away out.

[Ryan]

Jared. He, he had the, he had his whole bracket planned around not having to fill out the first four. So I think that's, I mean this.

[Miles]

Is a, it is a nice little. Like, I don't got to worry about that. And like part nothing's more than a kick to the nuts to getting one wrong right away. Yeah.

[Ryan]

And he. I saw on his vacation itinerary too, that he had time notched out to fill the bracket out.

[Miles]

True. It's like, so you have less than 12 hours. It's like, you know how I've been scheduling tummy aches and then I get an unscheduled tummy ache sprung upon me?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I, I, I now schedule out brain busters.

[Jared]

Bracket busters.

[Miles]

Brain bracket busters. Time to do that. And now I have an unscheduled brain buster right before I leave on vacation when I should be packing.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it was. Brain's already busted too, because he didn't have first full.

[Miles]

If I forget toothpaste, I'm telling Anne. It's your fault.

[Jared]

I didn't know this was such a big deal.

[Miles]

It's not really.

[Ryan]

It's not.

[Miles]

I just accelerated my timeline because otherwise, what would you have done? If I wouldn't have got my bracket done, but before the game, I would.

[Jared]

Have had March Madness.

[Tyler]

I warned you about this with fantasy football and Simulator League. No matter what you do, the commissioner is always wrong. The commissioner's always wrong, Tyler.

[Miles]

No, no. No matter what. The commissioner's terrible at communicating. That is what no one's ever been like, oh, I hate my commissioners. We over communicates.

[Jared]

Never. Well, it's called commissioner, not communicator.

[Miles]

So I, well, let's. At this company, there's no more commissioners. I'm banning them. They're all communicators now.

[Tyler]

This is why we have no sim league this year. I didn't want to be commissioner again under a microscope.

[Miles]

That is true. Something about someone in the commissioner role just pisses everyone off.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

What are your take. What's your gripes with Jared's commissioning so far?

[Ryan]

Well, I, I, I think it was more so just the fact that we just got a link and then nothing else after that.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's true. No communication.

[Ryan]

No, I like I'm gonna send someone a link. I'm gonna go like, if I send you something, I'll come in, I'll come in your office, be like, hey, I just sent you a link on this.

[Miles]

A memo would have been nice.

[Jared]

Jared, do that.

[Miles]

Jared, we're a memo company.

[Jared]

You know how to click a link, Ryan.

[Ryan]

No, I get that. But in terms of like, hey, it.

[Tyler]

Literally says join you bracket here.

[Ryan]

Hey, it invol this bracket 4 so you have to get it in by 6pm on the 19th. It's it that I will say just sending the link, I'd have been like, oh, March madness. Well, we're 18 days into March. I could, I got time.

[Miles]

Do you know how much I got going on my brain with this vacation coming up? I didn't even know when the first game started.

[Jared]

I could have been what's in March every year, Jared?

[Ryan]

If you know it's in April too though. That's the thing.

[Miles]

That's the thing. Why isn't it called March slash April Madness?

[Tyler]

Jared? If you'd have done it exactly that way, they'd have been like, well, the 12 hours isn't enough time to fill my bracket.

[Jared]

Should have been Sunday night.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, that is true. It should have been last week. Should have been out. I need this done by this day. And then I could have scheduled my brain busting bracket time but now I, you know, now I'm spending that time doing that. I'll tell my kid that I can't hang out with him because Jared didn't let me know. I could have done it when he was napping over the weekend.

[Jared]

Yeah, while the games are still getting played.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I think, I think the link went out at like 3am too. So I did like I, I, I didn't even see it. Luckily I just happened to pop into.

[Tyler]

You had an extra chat.

[Jared]

So untrue.

[Miles]

But it's a tales oldest time. Just what do we got to do in this company to get a commissioner who cares?

[Ryan]

You know, I mean I'm not gonna scratch my own nuts, but I think I'd be a great commissioner.

[Tyler]

Wait, I've opened the door for you several times.

[Ryan]

You never. But you never passed me down the files though. I need to see previous Doge rant so I can start. I'm Doge coming into the commissioner role of Sim League.

[Tyler]

How come you never asked?

[Miles]

We do need a doge of commissioner. Department of. We need a dose. Department of.

[Jared]

A dose of dose.

[Miles]

Department of commissioner efficiency is what we need.

[Ryan]

Do.

[Miles]

We need a do. Do.

[Tyler]

Department of league commission.

[Miles]

League commissioner efficiency. Dolce.

[Tyler]

And their second in command will Gabana.

[Ryan]

Gabana.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Jared]

Game and game of basketball gaming is.

[Ryan]

Gabana or Gabbana Gaming Association Board and.

[Miles]

National athletics Dolce and Gabana. Ryan, you be Dolce, I'll be Gabana.

[Ryan]

Okay. Yeah.

[Miles]

Because I mean we just lack of accountability in the commissioner world in this company is running rampant.

[Ryan]

I mean and shout, like, shout out to all the office commissioners.

[Miles]

I haven't had any of my money collected either.

[Ryan]

No, I, I'm not gonna pay if I, I'm just not gonna pay until I have.

[Miles]

If I don't win, I'm not paying. I'll make it really hard on Jared and I'll be like, hey, when Kindred loses over the weekend, I get 100 bucks. It's like, oh, Ryan's just gon my fee. And then you'd be like, oh, I.

[Ryan]

Will say I, I gotta throw you under the bus right now. With the one fantasy football league that we did, he was collecting the money. It was $100 buy in and the like first, second, third didn't get paid out till like six months after.

[Miles]

It wasn't six months.

[Ryan]

And then when people asked, I think you just kept delaying like, because like if someone tells you to do something, you're just not going to do it for even longer now. So I kept getting delayed and I, I, I, I, I got second. So I'm like, I got 200 bucks coming, whatever. And I had planned that I was going to buy with that 200 bucks. Had to delay a couple months.

[Miles]

I don't know why I was delaying it either.

[Ryan]

I don't know.

[Tyler]

I don't know.

[Ryan]

Maybe you had spent it and you were, I don't know.

[Miles]

No, I didn't think it.

[Ryan]

To the banks.

[Miles]

Well, the one guy didn't work here anymore that ended up winning.

[Tyler]

The guy that won.

[Miles]

So then I was a little bit like, ah, if I kick this down the road, who cares anymore, you know? Yeah, yeah, I, I, I, I remember that being a thought process.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

But I, I didn't sign up for that role. I just, you guys thrusted me into it. You guys sign up for commissioner roles left and right and then just do.

[Tyler]

A half ass job with no commissioner, there would be no game.

[Miles]

Okay, it's fine by me. Yeah, I never win anyway. So, yeah, just don't play the game that I won't lose 20 bucks.

[Jared]

I'll do better next year. Year. I'm taking accountability.

[Ryan]

I mean, we haven't even started. There's time to. There's time.

[Jared]

It sounds like it's going pear shaped.

[Miles]

All right.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Jared, you can't win.

[Miles]

You could redeem it. Yeah, I don't know. We'll see.

[Jared]

You guys will forget all about.

[Miles]

But also, I don't like it that you think that you're just gonna do it next year after this, after this shoddy performance this year. Yeah.

[Ryan]

We might give Tyler another shot.

[Tyler]

I don't want it.

[Miles]

This isn't the president. This is. This isn't the presidency. You don't get four years to work your stuff out. We're a turn one year by one year.

[Jared]

It's where the House representative.

[Ryan]

I think I'll be commissioner for the Kentucky Derby. Kentucky Derby bracket or whatever race.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I don't know what they call the bed. Like.

[Miles]

You'll figure it out by then.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we'll figure out a structure. Because they do Kentucky Derby in. In office, don't they?

[Jared]

Yeah, they do.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You just pick.

[Jared]

I think we've done it one year.

[Ryan]

Yeah. So I don't remember. I'll commission that. Or you can do the Masters or the Masters. It's another good one. Yeah, I mean, I. I have all the holes of a commissioner. I have all of them filled mentally.

[Tyler]

Everyone loves to over the commissioner, so.

[Ryan]

That came out really wrong.

[Jared]

Did come out wrong.

[Miles]

This just in. Ryan fills all the holes that Ryan.

[Tyler]

Has all his holes filled.

[Ryan]

No, because I'm not the commissioner. I said of the commissioner.

[Miles]

Wow.

[Ryan]

That was.

[Miles]

But I'd like to think we aren't the only office that goes through this.

[Tyler]

No.

[Jared]

Hell no.

[Miles]

I feel like every office pool during March Madness just sounds like this. You know what I mean?

[Tyler]

Like us bantering at each other.

[Miles]

Yeah. I think every office pool for March Madness sounds the same.

[Tyler]

They do. Every single one. There's always the guy who knows nothing about basketball and is just constantly bitching about his picks. Like, oh, man, dude, I had Duke.

[Miles]

Going to the Elite.

[Ryan]

Oh, why'd you have Duke going to Elite 8? Well, because they've been looking good. Have you watched a game on? Well, they're in the number one seed, Duke. They win one national championship in 20 years.

[Miles]

And then there's always like, of course. Of course Shania is in the lead and she just picked teams off of which color she likes best.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. She just laid out all the mascots and decided which ones were cuter.

[Miles]

She looked up all of the players on the team and. And picked the team with more cuter players.

[Tyler]

Should I relax?

[Ryan]

Yeah. Some of them are 17. Shenane.

[Miles]

I don't. I doubt, anyways, they might be. My mom one time picked, so my brother's name is Mason. My brother. My. My mom just picked Duke one year to win because they had their brothers on the team named Mason and Miles.

[Ryan]

Oh, I was.

[Miles]

I think she ended up winning with that.

[Ryan]

I thought. I thought you were going to say George Mason when they went to, like, the Final four in, like, 2011.

[Miles]

Probably another reason, huh? So. Yeah, there's always someone in there.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Takes off a random and then ends up winning.

[Tyler]

I did something really tricky this year. I saw this dog that bounces a ball into one of these buckets and then that team's gonna win. He's always right.

[Miles]

Yeah. There's always some deep status stat line thing that's not that someone just made up on a Google spreadsheet and that predicts the winners and then that's what they do it off and they don't win.

[Tyler]

Yeah. There's that guy at fantasy football. Dude. The dude that overanalyzes it. That never, ever wins.

[Ryan]

I was just gonna say that. Like. Like, Jared, you and Noah, neither of you are going to win this bracket because you guys are the most probably in tune with college basketball.

[Jared]

I saw. I did this last weekend.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yep. I. I don't know. I don't know why that's the case.

[Tyler]

But that's because it's madness. You can't predict madness.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. There's always a one person dude. Just raving about how they picked the number 12 seed to win over the number five seed. And that happened.

[Miles]

It's like, yeah, dude. I knew it. I knew it. It's like, no, dude, you were. You're running out of time to fill out your bracket. You just accidentally picked number 12.

[Tyler]

Or there's. There's always a guy who's like, I. I would have a perfect bracket if. Oh, God, Florida Gulf coast would have won this one and. And Auburn would have won here and SDSU would have won here. Then I'd be perfect. Like, so you got three wrong out of the first 10.

[Ryan]

Or if they're, like, in, like, dead last or second to last, whatever. They'll. They'll lay out the entire scenario on how they could possibly win the league.

[Tyler]

They're like the. The red thread on the cork board.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Tyler]

Like, well, so. And so Wins here and these guys lose in the, in the final four.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's like a homicide investigation on the cork board. So their bracket looks like the road to victory looks like for them.

[Tyler]

And it's like your standards slowly get lower. You're like, like, I'm doing pretty good. Round one, Round two wasn't great. Round three, well, my final four are still alive. Ah, wow. My winner's still alive.

[Ryan]

It's like, it's a second round and you're like, yeah, my winner's still alive.

[Miles]

Well, the guy who, the guy who does amazing the first round, it's always ends up being his joke bracket. So like, you know, espn, you could fill out a bunch of brackets. They always fill out like a joke one where they just have upsets all over the place. And then it's like, oh my God, that's how the first round went. And then you look at the rest of their bracket and they have like a 16 seed going to final four. And you're like, well, that was fun for one round. But let's see what, what happens now.

[Ryan]

Has ever been a perfect bracket.

[Tyler]

No.

[Miles]

No.

[Tyler]

Who is it? Isn't there some Warren Buffett? Yeah, Buffett has like a million dollar standing.

[Miles]

No, I thought it was like a billion dollars.

[Tyler]

Jesus.

[Ryan]

Holy.

[Miles]

But I think in that like you have to guess the score right. On the championship game too.

[Ryan]

Gotcha.

[Tyler]

So ESPN didn't let score this year. It was just total. Total score.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Weird.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But yeah, I mean this, this the numbers on the, the odds of getting a perfect bracket. I just, I don't know why though. I think in my lifetime I'll see a perfect bracket.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan]

Do you think, do you think we'll see a perfect bracket before we see a Viking Super Bowl?

[Tyler]

Probably.

[Miles]

Really up there.

[Tyler]

And neither one of them's happened.

[Miles]

I gotta get Tyler all worked up.

[Tyler]

I'm pretty sure. Did someone have it right till the Elite Eight last year?

[Ryan]

Okay. So.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's like that every year, though.

[Ryan]

The odds of filling out a Perfect bracket are 1 in 9.2 quintillion.

[Miles]

It's just never gonna happen in our lifetime.

[Tyler]

I'm gonna have AI fill it out for me.

[Ryan]

Me.

[Jared]

But it just takes Allen Iverson.

[Tyler]

Hey, yeah.

[Miles]

It just takes one.

[Tyler]

It does.

[Jared]

It's gotta get hot once. You just gotta flip a coin, right? Like 30 times.

[Ryan]

We gotta be closing in on 9.2 quintillion brackets filled out of all time. So someone's got.

[Miles]

I don't, I don't think you understand how many.

[Ryan]

No I know, I know.

[Miles]

Quintillions.

[Ryan]

How many zeros is quintillion?

[Miles]

Well, it's. It's 10, quadrillion. So there's trillion quadrillion quintillion.

[Jared]

18 zeros.

[Tyler]

Holy wow.

[Miles]

I like. I don't think if. I think if we did this for a billion years, I don't even know if we would get that many brackets filled out. Something ridiculous like that. How many brackets get filled out a year?

[Jared]

How many March Madness brackets?

[Miles]

We got up his words per minute.

[Jared]

I'm not used to this keyboard. 6 to 10 mil to 100 million.

[Miles]

Okay, so we'll go 100 million in a billion years. What's a hundred million times a billion.

[Jared]

Times a billion?

[Miles]

What was that? One E plus. What was yours?

[Ryan]

Quintillion.

[Miles]

You know, but what was the plus?

[Ryan]

Oh, wasn't it. It was 10 to the 18th power.

[Miles]

So we still. In a billion years of doing March Madness, we still wouldn't have filled out whatever that is.

[Tyler]

Jesus.

[Miles]

If that's correct. If that math. If, like, it's 1 to the 18th.

[Ryan]

You said 10 to the 18th.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I don't know.

[Jared]

It's a lot.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It takes one, though.

[Miles]

We're just never gonna see it.

[Tyler]

No.

[Miles]

Because humans aren't making it another billion years. Just not. Not gonna happen.

[Tyler]

Yeah. We'll be a completely different species then.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

We'll have, like, two thumbs on each hand.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

Because like, four cocks.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

One for peeing.

[Jared]

You're like a cow.

[Tyler]

Do you think cows have two dicks?

[Jared]

Oh, the utters.

[Tyler]

Yeah, the utters are on the females.

[Jared]

I know. That's what I'm picturing, though.

[Ryan]

Well, in a billion years, male cows will have. Probably have utters.

[Tyler]

Could. Evolution.

[Ryan]

Genetic. Yeah. Genetic modifying.

[Jared]

Y. Utterly insane saying.

[Ryan]

Quite literally.

[Miles]

So how are you guys drafting or not drafting? How are you guys picking this year? I guess you already did.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I went pretty heavily off of seeds and gut, which I know I have. Absolutely. I don't. I can't really follow my gut because I've watched zero college basketball in the last two years.

[Miles]

Well, you. So what I like to do in that scenario is I like to just.

[Ryan]

Listen up, Tyler.

[Tyler]

Yeah, here we go.

[Miles]

No, I think you would. I think this is what you would agree with. What I like to do in that scenario is I first just set my pencil down because I'm going to do this. I'm going to do a paper.

[Jared]

I'll type a bit for you.

[Miles]

You have to type in for me. I like to set my pencil down and I just, like, I. I just become aware of the aura in the room. I feel the vibrational frequency energy in the room vibrating through my soul. And once I become attuned with that frequency, I then stare at the paper for quite some time, maybe sometimes even 30, 40 minutes. And then the bracket just falls out of me, and I've just become one with the bracket. And so far it's been pretty good. I was this close to getting a perfect bracket the other. But then I had. It was I kind of up the elite eight and then the sweet 16. I had like three or four go bad. And then the round before that, I think I got, like, close to half of them. Right.

[Ryan]

So, like, round 32, it's a pretty good strategy.

[Miles]

Yeah. So that's what I like to do.

[Ryan]

The cool 32.

[Miles]

How are you picking?

[Ryan]

Ah, I mean, I, I, I'm a gut instinct type of guy. Duke will probably win it all for me this year just because that's what I put. Yeah, the. I always pick the best team in the nation to win the national championship, and I feel like it just really happens. So maybe I won't go Duke. Maybe I'll go.

[Miles]

Was Yukon like that? They were the best.

[Jared]

They were wagon for the last two years.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan]

An absolute wagon.

[Miles]

Now their coach has kind of gone off the rails.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Like, he's losing it.

[Jared]

He's a hothead for sure.

[Miles]

But I feel like I didn't feel that when it's. When a couple years ago.

[Jared]

Well, he's just gotten more popular now because he won't won multiple championships and kind of has an ego. He's said he's, like, the best coach in the league.

[Ryan]

Yeah. He's got a very unique coaching philosophy. And, yeah. Just the way he portrays himself. I Purely gut instinct. I'll have that bracket filled out in a minute, 30, 90 seconds, especially a digital bracket.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

That's the way to do it, though.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Don't overthink it. More you overthink it, the worse you're gonna do.

[Jared]

When I'm ever feeling a bracket, it's always like, I don't have enough upsets. I need to. It's too much chalk. Straight chalk.

[Ryan]

You know what? I might have. I might. I might have my kid fill mine out. Hey, like, just give it, like, I don't know, like, get a piece of paper and like, cover up everything else. Say, do you want this one or this one? And then just. I'll pick the number one seeds in the first round, and then I'll move. I'LL move on after that.

[Jared]

That's the way to do it. Yeah.

[Miles]

Also, he's just throwing around March Madness jargon calling it chalk.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I didn't know. Is chalk just following the seed or what?

[Jared]

Yeah, Just picking favorites.

[Tyler]

I would. Pretty heavily chalked then.

[Jared]

Yeah, I think it would be a chalkier one. Seeds are pretty good or they're the best.

[Miles]

You're just trying to say that to me.

[Tyler]

The mind games have started.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

He's using.

[Ryan]

Don't overthink it.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You don't have much time for first four tomorrow, so don't overthink.

[Miles]

Remind me of the time crunch I'm under.

[Ryan]

You might even be on a plane tomorrow when they're. When they start.

[Miles]

Yeah, I fly away Wednesday, so. But I am going to drive far first before I fly far, so good luck to everyone. But not really because I'm kind of competing against.

[Tyler]

Do we have the Patreon bracket this year?

[Jared]

Is that patrons are. Yep. There's a Patreon bracket as well on Espen. Yep.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

There's a link to it on our Patreon.

[Miles]

Can I get in on that? I didn't get a link for that.

[Tyler]

You got to go to our Patreon.

[Miles]

I didn't think. I am.

[Jared]

You can, I don't know, log in.

[Miles]

Can you just send me the link so I can get in on it?

[Jared]

I. I guess I could, yeah.

[Ryan]

Commissioner woes.

[Miles]

It's just now I have a. We're trying to grow the game, you know, and you're just, you're. You're putting clamps on who's allowed. You're gatekeeping this league. I, I, actually, I. There's. I am a patron. I. I pay to be on Patreon. So you're gatekeeping me.

[Jared]

I didn't.

[Ryan]

I've been gay kept from Patreon for the last two years.

[Tyler]

No, you haven't. I've given you the password three times. And these are passing.

[Ryan]

Like, if I'm going to take a piss and he's walking by, he's like, yeah, he just.

[Miles]

He just says it to you. And you're supposed to remember.

[Ryan]

Yeah, hey, the password is just password. I'm like, hey, I have to ship bad. And that's all I'm thinking about.

[Tyler]

I gave it to you less than one week ago, almost exactly today.

[Ryan]

No way.

[Tyler]

If we were sitting in this room and I gave it to you again before the podcast.

[Ryan]

I think I just. I can just remember.

[Miles]

Remember.

[Ryan]

I can't even remember my own passwords.

[Tyler]

I'll write it down for you, then. No excuses.

[Jared]

That's where everything goes.

[Miles]

So anyways, I didn't know we were doing a march mad. It's been great to know.

[Jared]

I completely forgot. That's on me.

[Miles]

So, guys, if you want to get in on the you bet your radio patreon March madness bracket, you gotta go check it out and. Or sign up.

[Tyler]

What is the winner get?

[Jared]

I think we sent out like, a care package last year.

[Miles]

Nice. Care package.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. That's why I'm not wearing any merch, because I had to set that care package. Assuming that person would be a large.

[Tyler]

If you want. You better. You better hold on to those large. That random box of.

[Ryan]

Yeah, okay. Large vests may not be on the side. I might have to put them to the side for this winner I just found out about.

[Jared]

Depends if they're larger.

[Ryan]

Commissioner was. Commissioner was just communication styles on natural disasters happen.

[Jared]

Natural.

[Miles]

National emergency.

[Ryan]

National emergencies.

[Miles]

I don't think nature is communicating with.

[Tyler]

Us at all if it is.

[Miles]

So I guess it is in communication silos. No one's hitting up mother nature being like, hey, any natural disasters impending?

[Ryan]

Any natty disaster coming?

[Miles]

No hurt all. You got fun facts, Jared?

[Jared]

I do. The Caesar salad was invented in July 1924 by Caesar Cardini, an Italian chef who owned a restaurant in Tijuana, Mexico. So what did he invent the Caesar salad?

[Miles]

I. What. What about it made it different? Just this. The sauce.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So really he invented the Caesar dressing?

[Tyler]

Unless that already existed and he was just the first one. Like, I should put this on some fucking lettuce.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, it's. If that's the case, that's not an invention at all.

[Tyler]

I mean, it caught on.

[Miles]

What became first, the Caesar dressing or the Caesar salad? Or did the Caesar dressing inspire the Caesar salad?

[Jared]

This is unrelated, but the Cobb salad is invented in Hollywood, like, 10 years later. The guy's last name was Cobb.

[Miles]

Is. Was that the question you thought I was gonna ask?

[Jared]

No, I actually didn't know that before. I don't know why. Derby. Yeah.

[Miles]

I just was curious if it was what he. Did he invent putting lettuce with a dressing, and then it became the Caesar salad, thus the Caesar dressing. Or did he just invent the dressing and then put it on salad? Salad. You've got to foresee that. So, like.

[Ryan]

Like, if you were to go home to the fam and be like, hey, you know, Mexican night on Thursday, and then you just whip out a bunch of Caesar salads, you're correct in doing that, right?

[Jared]

That's a good question, actually. Because it was in Mexico.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Oh, I don't know. Caesar salads are Mexican food, Right?

[Jared]

That's what I'm saying.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that.

[Miles]

That's.

[Ryan]

That's the argument there.

[Miles]

Olive Garden's head's gonna be spinning. Do not alert Olive Garden.

[Jared]

We're getting one of those combo, like fast food restaurants via Olive Garden. A Taco Bell connect.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Caesar salad is right in the middle.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Dapa. Right. Right in the lobby. Huh.

[Jared]

The Atlantic Ocean is saltier than the Pacific Ocean.

[Miles]

Why?

[Jared]

This is due to factors like higher evaporation rates, lower fresh water input from rivers, and ocean circulation patterns.

[Tyler]

I thought that was. It sounded like a setup to a dad joke.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah, it kind of does.

[Tyler]

The Atlantic Ocean saltier than the Pacific Ocean because Pacific slept with his girlfriend or something.

[Ryan]

Pretty good with Tyler, huh? Yeah. Jared, with these fun facts, you could. You could walk us into anything.

[Miles]

Yeah, we don't even know if any of these are true.

[Ryan]

No, we don't know where.

[Miles]

We don't even know if they're facts. This could. You could be spewing us fun fiction this whole time.

[Jared]

That one's true.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Like the Caesar style thing. Could. It could have just. Could have been a true or false question.

[Miles]

You know, I probably would have got it wrong.

[Ryan]

I probably would have went false. I just said Tijuana, Mexico. I've been like, false. It's just not right.

[Tyler]

Right. Yeah.

[Miles]

Well, thanks, Jared.

[Jared]

Fine.

[Miles]

Now a little bit smarter. So. Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the. You bet Your radio show.

[Ryan]

You thought this was Patreon.

[Miles]

May your brackets be unbusted.

[Ryan]

Yeah, and if they are, then bust on your brackets. Bracket.

[Tyler]

I'm gonna name my bracket, Tatiana, so I can bust down.

[Miles]

Guys, we're so close. And your.

[Jared]

Your holes be filled.

[Ryan]

Yeah, Commissioner, Holes be filled.

[Miles]

And Ryan, fill all the holes. Cheers, Ryan. Oh, you betcha. Yeah. Yeah.

[Guest]

Summertime chance to jump tight fading maps in the neon light Miles way back to the jungle's call Cambodia knows his shadows tall Rip it apart and build again the chaos hums under our skin Ketchup bottle fluff it's strange, I know Life's a jester stealing the show.

[Miles]

Rip.

[Guest]

It apart and build again the chaos comes under our skin Catch a bottle Closet strange unknow Stealing the shuttle those game words just fall like bricks Empty praise and reporter tricksters the best we name the name while we're at it Crowns its fleeting flame the banquet's bright but hearts are dull plastic smiles and a fleeting hull the bad commissioner calls the shots A clock that ticks and never stops Rip it apart and build again the chaos hungs under our skin Catch a bottle Frothy strange I know Life suggest us give the lights of Chester stealing the show.

[Miles]

The planes scream.

[Guest]

But no one hears Fighting through their quiet fears the stage is set, the rules are bent A kingdom's built on accident Rip apart and build again the chaos comes under our skin Ketchup bottles Love is strange, I know the light suggests Stealing the show Stealing her show during the show the players scream but no one hears Fighting through their quiet fears the stage is set, the rules are bent A kingdom's built on accident.

[Jared]

If you could swim in. In a pool of any food or condiment, what would you want?

[Miles]

Honey.

[Tyler]

The cleanup would be a nightmare.

[Miles]

Yeah, but like, like, so would peanut butter. So would ketchup. You're gonna be messy.

[Tyler]

Yeah. What's one that people like?

[Miles]

Just think of how, like, imagine falling into a giant pool of honey. You would, like, hit the top and then you would just like, slowly sink into it. It would be kind of like good feeling.

[Ryan]

But you could suffocate, though.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I've got to make sure it's a shallow pool.

[Miles]

It's like a little. It'd be like, just like laying in a thing of gel. It would be.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

The sensation would be wild.

[Tyler]

What were the stipulations of the question?

[Jared]

Food or condiment?

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah. I'm gon. Cucumbers. That's supposed to be good for your skin.

[Jared]

Not bad.

[Tyler]

Sliced or pureed?

[Miles]

Cucumber. Right? D. Like. All right, I'm going to go jump in the cucumber pool. And he's running. He turns around, jumps backwards and does a backwards cannonball like this. Right into the cucumber pin.

[Tyler]

I did say sliced or pureed.

[Miles]

Oh, okay.

[Jared]

I'm going to pour vinegar in your pool.

[Tyler]

Miles. Just choose it. Cannonball Mouse chooses to exclude details whenever it suits him.

[Miles]

Cucumbers is a wild.

[Tyler]

No, that's what they put on your eyes at spots.

[Miles]

I know. I just didn't know you were doing this for your skin wellness.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

You're gonna have so many zits. Piles with the honey.

[Tyler]

Yeah. You're gonna have bears everywhere.

[Jared]

That's true.

[Miles]

I thought we were doing condiment. I know. It was all foods. Okay, then I'm gonna dive into ice cream then. And just. Just lick my arms clean.

[Jared]

Cold, dude.

[Tyler]

Freezing.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'm gonna change things up with a cork screw today.

[Miles]

Woo. He's still stuck on that.

[Tyler]

Yeah, cuz.

[Ryan]

That's funny. I'm probably gonna go with tapioca pudding. I don't know why that's such a shock to you guys. Tapioca pudding. It's the cat's meow. It's the cat's meow. Yeah, it's really good. So. And the ones that come in the little plastic cups.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Well, this comes in a pool.

[Ryan]

Well, yeah, but all those mixed into one. One pool.

[Jared]

Does Bloody Mary mix count?

[Tyler]

I think so.

[Ryan]

Food or condiment?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You love it that much?

[Jared]

I think so.

[Miles]

Really?

[Jared]

Zing zang. I like zing zang a lot. So maybe a thing of the zingzhong.

[Tyler]

So you just want the mix? No. Like vodka or beef sticks or anything else. You want a pool of Bloody Mary berries.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's a good point. Because then that's be one item.

[Ryan]

I mean.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

You. You could.

[Tyler]

You can do the mix.

[Miles]

You're just bundle. Yeah. Okay.

[Ryan]

Or you can just. Beef sticks.

[Tyler]

You're home and auto just do a.

[Ryan]

Pool of beef sticks.

[Miles]

Yeah. I thought you were just doing like. I thought you were just doing. I thought you're just doing condiments. That's why I near knee jerk. We said honey. Like, I still think swimming in honey would be kind of sweet.

[Ryan]

Swimming in honey jelly would also be kind of fun, too. Too kind of like there's some. I don't know, some bounce to it.

[Miles]

You could like slide in the edge of it and run around the edge. You know, like if you like and do.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Like a Jello shot. And then you can just like. So you can just stand on the edge and slurp it all in in one.

[Tyler]

I'm pretty sure YouTubers have like turned a pool into a pool of jello.

[Miles]

Yeah. Very hard to do.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Lots of Jello. Yeah.

[Miles]

You got to let it. Yeah.

[Jared]

Doesn't seem easy.

[Miles]

No. Like this. They had to like blow air on top of it to get it to all because it be like the top would solidify like Jell O and like the bottom would still be liquid. And so to get it to go all the way through on that mass of a thing took a bunch of science nightmare.

[Tyler]

How do you.

[Miles]

Mark Rober, I think did it is who it was. And if there's a guy to do it, it's Mark Rober.

[Tyler]

Did they jump in it?

[Miles]

I think so.

[Tyler]

Nice.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, why wouldn't you.

[Jared]

I would do like solid butter so that when I jump in, I slide to the other side.

[Ryan]

Salt butter would be. Would be. It would be fun.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And then you could slide on your butt and butter your buns.

[Ryan]

What kind of butter? Like, like, what do they got? Like that Irish butter or truffle butter?

[Jared]

I don't know my butters that well.

[Miles]

Garlic butter.

[Jared]

Garlic butter. Be good.

[Miles]

Whipped.

[Tyler]

Fires away.

[Miles]

I. I'm actually, I'm. I'm pretty well versed in the butter world because it's so closely related to the bread world. As you gu. How big of a fan of the bread world I am.

[Ryan]

What does truffle butter stack up against others?

[Miles]

Yeah, the weird thing is, like, the difference between sweet cream butter and, like, just regular butter is, like, I don't know which one I I want I like better. So maybe I should do some butter research on you for you guys.

[Jared]

Country krog.

[Ryan]

You better get on that. You butter get on that.

[Miles]

Is that what you said? It just sounds like. Just sounds like you said better.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you better get on that. You better get on that.

[Miles]

Guys, if you want more, you bet your radio, you got to check out our Patreon. You got to go to patreon.com you bets radio, or look us up on the app. And we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you got to check us out on Patreon on you bet your radio, baby.