This Is How Men Should Do Valentine’s Day 🎙 #364

Summary

You Betcha Radio – Episode #364: "This Is How Men Should Do Valentine’s Day"

Date: February 11, 2026
Host(s): Myles "You Betcha Guy," Ryan, Tyler, Jerrod
Theme: Embracing and redefining Valentine’s Day with a Midwest (and particularly male) twist, mixing humor, practical tips, and Midwest nostalgia.

---

Episode Overview

This comedic roundtable dives into how men actually experience and should approach Valentine’s Day, the rise of “Palantine’s Day,” Midwest masculinity, gift-giving, and the show’s signature roasting of both cultural tropes and their own listeners. The hosts roast each other (and listeners’ photos), discuss food, music, traditions, and general “guy culture,” all with a distinctively Midwestern, self-aware tone.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Valentine’s Day for Grown Men

• Early on, the hosts note that not all men (or couples) want a big production on Valentine’s Day. Many prefer simpler gestures.
• Flower Hack: Myles suggests using DoorDash to deliver flowers for convenience and avoiding last-minute shame at the store.
  "If you can afford it, cheat code DoorDash flowers to your house. You don't even have to go to the store and get them.” (00:18)
• The group recounts their own Valentine’s plans, including renewing concealed carry permits instead of doing anything traditionally romantic.
  “It’s so romantic. That is the most Ryan Valentine’s Day I’ve ever heard.” (01:35)

2. Relationship Expectations and Shaming

• Discussion over whether celebrating all day is important or necessary as couples age.
• Myles and Ryan agree each couple is different, and people shouldn’t “Valentine’s Day shame” others for their choices.
  “You got to go case by case here, you know?” (03:45)

3. Galentine’s Day vs. Palantine’s Day

• Exploring “Galentine’s Day”—traditionally for single (or all) women to celebrate their friendships.
• Midwest Male Spin: The crew riffs on a male-equivalent, dubbing it “Palantine’s Day” (or “Guy-in-Tine’s Day”), pondering what guys would actually do.
• Consensus: Men express love by doing practical things for/with each other, sharing silence or working on projects together.
  • "Valentine's Day is basically, you go to your buddy’s house and help him fix his porch." (06:24)
  • "That is, if that's not love, I don't know what is.” (07:09)

The Ideal "Palantine's Day" (06:48–11:10)

• Get together, bring beer, work on a project, share moments of companionable silence, end with a meat-heavy meal (e.g., steakhouse or sausage boil).
• Movies in the background: Top Gun, Die Hard, Rocky IV, “just movies where white guys say ‘hell yeah’.” (23:08–24:09)
• Gift exchange: Return borrowed stuff, sports cards, and “man card” roasts.
  "Everyone upon arrival gets a man card. Your goal is to keep it throughout the whole day." (21:59)

“Moment of Silence” as Male Love Language

• “Moment of silence” is reframed as a male “love language”—sometimes an hour just quietly doing nothing together is best.
• “Hour and a half to two hours is the sweet spot.” (07:40)

4. Gift-Giving, Food, & Pineapples for Valentine’s Day

• Beer and booze remain classic guy gifts, but the crew jokes about returning all the crap pals have left at each other’s houses as gifts.
• Pineapple Tangents: Spirals into a discussion of edible arrangements, pineapple’s alleged beneficial effects (with much Google searching), and how it could become a Valentine’s/Palantine’s staple.
  “Everyone brings a pineapple, we all cut it up... pineapple feed before Valentine’s Day, prep for the next day.” (29:19)
• Notable Quote:
  “This is a great promotion for pizza companies... National Pineapple Day, February 13th.” (29:52)

5. Music for Palantine's Day

• Jared’s “Trough Rock” playlist becomes canon for the Palantine vibe: 70s/80s rock, the stuff you’d hear in a stadium trough bathroom; e.g., Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again,” Kiss’s "Lick It Up," Quiet Riot.
  “This playlist could also be renamed: Songs That Make White Guys Say ‘Hell Yeah.’” (19:49)

6. Classic Midwestern Male Traditions

• Working together on projects, meat raffles, ice fishing trips, and silently hanging out are all high points.
• "The only place we couldn't do for Palantine's Day is, like, a nice dinner. I think that's off the table for sure." (10:37)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On DoorDash flowers:
  “Don't get flour, like the mix. Yeah, that would be bad.” (00:37)
• On Making Pineapple Arrangements:
  “You just take a vase, you take a pineapple, stick a stick in the bottom, put it in the vase. That’s your edible arrangement.” (27:11)
• On Silence as a Gift:
  “He wants a long, extended moment of silence—by moment, maybe a couple hours.” (07:31)
• On the Palantine’s Playlist:
  “Trough Rock... it’s music that would be playing in the bathroom of the Metrodome while you’re peeing in a trough.” (16:45)
• On Guys Returning Each Other’s Stuff:
  “Best idea for Palantine's Day gifts? You return all the sht they've left at your house.”* (20:20)
• On "Moment of Silence" Relationship Dynamic:
  “Distance makes the heart grow fonder… Once those three hours are up it’s ‘go time’ at dinner.” (09:16–09:29)

---

Roasting Listener Photos (37:30–61:27)

Context

• Segment Start: (36:35)
• Jared collects listener photos (with consent to roast). The group hilariously, savagely, but good-naturedly tears into photo appearances and presumed personalities. Examples:
  • "This guy looks like he uses his Packers ownership to try and pick girls up at the bar." (38:01)
  • “This guy's got a head like a big toe.” (42:48)
  • “This man is named Daryl. Is he an archery coach? … Looks like elementary principal in the front and Project X in the back.” (53:09)
• Running Joke: Most roastees are “guys who still live at home with their mom.”
• Self-Roasts: Jared’s own photo gets shredded as “Peter Griffin” (56:05), and Myles is roasted for his former size: “It looks like this Miles ate you.” (59:19)
• “He invested in Domino’s – not with the stock market, with his belly.” (58:59)

---

Patreon Q&A, Bits, and Midwest Culture

• Handkerchiefs: The group debates if handkerchiefs are “back.” Consensus: Only cool if you’re an old man or an authentic working man; otherwise “gross.” (62:16)
• Snot Rockets: Snot rockets in the winter dramatically preferred over blowing noses—another guy hygiene discussion with graphic detail. (63:04–64:47)
• Letting Your Wife Win: Should you let your wife win at games? Verdict: Only if you want to keep her playing, but doing it is actually worse if she finds out. (67:29–68:56)
• Wheel of Fortune: Discussing the joys of reaching the stage of life where you enjoy Wheel of Fortune nightly and try to outguess each other. (69:08–70:40)
• Fun Fact Bonus: Sam Darnold’s grandpa was "Dick Hammer" – the Marlboro Man. (71:04)

---

Ending Fun Fact: The Shortest War in History (73:50–77:07)

• The Anglo-Zanzibar War: Lasted 38–45 minutes in 1896, the “longest war in thumb war years.”
• “This is the longest thumb war. See... In thumb war years, this is a long ass war.” (76:07)
• Calculations devolve into thumb war analogies, capping the episode with nerdy Midwest humor.

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Valentine’s & Palantine’s Day talk: 00:00–24:09
• Palantine’s gift/music/food ideas: 14:20–24:09
• Listener photo roast segment: 36:35–61:27
• Patreon Q&A (handkerchief, snot rockets, games): 61:54–70:40
• Fun Fact (shortest war): 73:50–77:07

---

Tone, Style, & Takeaways

You Betcha Radio blends self-deprecating, everyman Midwest humor with genuine observations about male friendships, relationships, and cultural traditions. The playful roasting, mixed with practical advice (“order flowers early,” “don’t let your wife win unless she’ll never play again”), underlies the series’ unique blend of humor and low-key wisdom for the average guy. Even topics like romance, celebration, and masculinity get the group’s trademark down-to-earth, tongue-in-cheek treatment.

---

Final Thoughts

• Men’s ideal Valentine’s is probably not what Hallmark depicts: it’s beer, meat, projects, and a couple hours of companionable silence.
• "Palantine’s Day" deserves a spot on the calendar: it’s about showing love how guys know best—by doing, not saying.
• If you’re last-minute with gifts, at least DoorDash some flowers or edible arrangements. It’s a Midwest pro move.
• Bonus Fun Fact: The shortest war in history was the “longest thumb war.” Draw your own conclusions.

---

Memorable Last Quote:

• “Oh ya betcha. Yeah.” (Episode sign-off, 73:40)

---

For more, check the You Betcha Radio YouTube & Patreon for full listener roasts and bonus episodes.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of you Bet yout Radio. The boys are back in the studio. We're brunted up, and it's Valentine's Day this week.

[B]

It is, isn't it? Right? Sunday.

[C]

Sunday or Saturday.

[D]

Don't forget, guys, it's on Saturday.

[A]

Yeah. This is actually great psa. Remember that it's Valentine's Day on Saturday, and if you can afford it, cheat code doordash flowers to your house. Yeah.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

You don't have to get the whole big bouquet because that gets pretty spendy. Then you don't even have to go to the store and get them.

[B]

Yeah, just be careful because you can, you can doordash groceries. Don't get flour like the mix.

[A]

That would be bad.

[D]

Yeah, don't go to the weed store either.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And get that flower.

[A]

Unless you're. Unless wife or girlfriend's into that. That's true. It might be even better.

[B]

A bouquet.

[D]

Thank you for that.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

A Bud K. Yeah.

[B]

There we go. Okay.

[D]

Bo.

[A]

So, yeah, it's actually a great reminder for me. You know, Al, you know, an and I, we're not like, we're not like huge holiday birthday people, but, you know, I'll maybe pick her up some flowers.

[D]

Yeah, do it. Yeah. It's not a full day event for you.

[A]

No, no, no.

[D]

Do you think it should be a full day event at our age?

[A]

No.

[B]

That was Ryan just proving an argument in his personal life.

[D]

Yeah, well, I, I, So my wife and I, we're getting our concealed carry permits renewed on Valentine's Day.

[A]

It's so romantic.

[B]

Yes, it is.

[A]

That is the most Ryan Valentine's Day I've ever heard.

[D]

Yeah. So I sent a message out to, to somebody who I thought, you know, would be very, very interested. And he said, you know, that's Valentine's Day.

[B]

Right.

[D]

And I go, and I'm 32 years old. What's your point?

[B]

I don't need the whole day.

[A]

You have two kids.

[D]

Yeah, I said you're older than I am. So what are you, what are you trying to prove here? You know, this is a full day thing.

[A]

I do think you should Valentine's Day shame him though, because every couple's different. This. That works for you guys.

[D]

That's true.

[A]

But if I told Anne that's what we're doing, Valentine's Day, she probably wouldn't love it.

[B]

No.

[D]

You know, I mean, but it's a, it's a three hour commitment, right?

[B]

It will.

[D]

10 to 1.

[B]

Okay. That helps that that hurts his argument.

[D]

10Am to 1pm hurts his argument bad.

[B]

Yeah. If this was like a 5 to 8pm class, I'm on his side. Middle of the day, Valentine's Day. Dude, you're chilling.

[D]

And I'm not going to name names. Miles, it's.

[A]

It's.

[D]

It's your cousin in law.

[A]

My cousin in law. So many cousin in laws down the road.

[D]

Down the road. J.C. just down the road by the golf course.

[A]

Oh. Oh, wow.

[D]

Which makes it even.

[A]

I know.

[D]

I. I had to. I. I just. I had to let this one out because, you know, I'm just trying to look out for a friend here.

[A]

He's also like, you got to respect him. Trying to get his d wet. And I know that I just said that about my cousin, but it's. It's. No, well, his cousin would be better the other way, actually. But, you know, it's like, what, are you gonna block him?

[D]

Yeah, no, you're right. You're right, you're right. That's why I just want. I want to bring it up and.

[A]

He'S trying to concuss you. Trying to conceal and have his not carried. Yeah. You're gonna lock him on Valentine's Day.

[D]

Well, I'm trying to.

[A]

He's also.

[D]

I'm trying to get him legal. He's also the Glock.

[A]

He's also got two kids and he's. You know, Valentine's Day is a great way to, you know.

[D]

Okay. Stop jumping ship.

[A]

No, no, I just said it. You got to go case by case here, you know?

[D]

Yeah, no, that's why I brought. I just want to see what you guys thought about it.

[A]

Before the episode. You guys were talking about Galentine's Day.

[B]

We were.

[A]

So Galentine's Day is just single women get together and celebrated, or they get.

[B]

Together and they're like, talk men and drink wine.

[A]

Now, do married women do this? Like, maybe not on Valentine's Day, but do they have a Galentine's Day like the 13?

[B]

My wife has never, so I don't know. I don't think they do. I think once you're.

[A]

Once you're locked up, strictly single women deal.

[B]

I'm pretty sure.

[D]

I don't think it. I think it involves married women.

[A]

Is kind of like a friends giving type of.

[B]

Yeah, totally.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Just because.

[B]

You're right. No, you're right, Ryan, because in Parks and Rec, they do Galentine's Day, and it's all the married ones too.

[A]

Yeah, there we go.

[B]

Yeah. Parks and Rec.

[A]

That's the law. Well, that's canon. Yeah, that's yeah.

[B]

It's Lore. It's Canada.

[A]

But then we were talking about, like, what would it look like if guys. A Guy in Talent's Day. What?

[B]

Palantine's.

[A]

A Palantine's Day. That's better. Guy in town. Can you even do it? Fallon. So it'd be Guy, Guy and Tines Day.

[D]

Galentine's Galentine's Day.

[A]

It just sounds like you can't speak English.

[D]

Island Ties.

[A]

Is there a Asian beetle flying around the studio?

[B]

There sure is.

[A]

How is he still alive?

[D]

He's been living.

[B]

He's been thriving.

[C]

Could be Big Blue.

[A]

What's he eating? I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, we got leftovers.

[A]

There's a cake on the ground over there.

[B]

That's true. There is a whole cake.

[C]

I think they eat crumbs. So. Yeah.

[A]

And I've been doing the Clapkin quite a bit on this studio.

[D]

That's a good one, actually.

[B]

I never heard of that.

[A]

Thank you. Well, you should have heard that by now because you're an avid Patreon listener.

[B]

That was. That was my nickname.

[A]

For those that don't know, Jared and Jake invented the Clapkin. J. Jared invented the Clapkin on.

[B]

Don't give jake that.

[A]

Eric Clode 1. 211211 so go listen to Patreon if you get a chance. But I'm much more interested right now in the Palantine's Day. So walk me through this. So this would be a bunch of guys get together and they just talk about how much they love each other. Because that sounds terrible.

[B]

Well, we don't talk about it. We just do things that say I love you.

[A]

Okay. So. Okay, so Valentine's Day is basically, you go to your buddy's house and you help him fix his porch.

[B]

Yeah. Yep. Yep.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Middle winter.

[A]

You know, guys, love languages are usually, like, doing things for other people.

[B]

Yep. Or just with them. Or even being in the room while one guy does this thing.

[A]

Yep. Or even, you know, bringing him the gift of booze and beer.

[B]

Yep. Yep.

[A]

Okay, so gallon. Palatine's Day is guys show up to a house, everyone brings beer and booze. They have a list of stuff that they need to fix.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And then there's probably in there just time where they all just sit there and just don't say anything. Yep.

[C]

Moment of silences.

[A]

That is, if that's not love, I don't know what is.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Which is also. Hey, ladies, if you're listening, if you're one of the 6% of our female listeners, that's what your Guy wants. On Valentine's Day, he wants you to fix something with him.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He wants booze and beer. And then he also wants a long, extended moment of silence by moment. Maybe a couple hours.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I think that. I think hour and a half to two hours is the sweet spot.

[A]

Yeah, I remember this thing in high school when he'd have a pep rally, they would do it. I don't remember what it was called, if it was like mandatory silence or something. Did you guys do that?

[B]

No. So we would. We would have a pep rallies or. Or whatever. The whole school's in a room. And if we ever had to do a moment of silence, our Dylan, every single time, would do a Hoya in the middle of the mo. Every fucking time.

[D]

How immature.

[A]

So, yeah, that's. Yeah, I know what you're saying.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

But so they would, I don't know, like at noon. If the pep rally was at three, at noon, the whole school wouldn't be able to talk for three hours. And if you did talk in that your name went on a list, you had to do something embarrassing in front of the whole school.

[B]

That's crazy tradition. I've never heard of anything like.

[A]

Yeah, I don't expect. I. I do think it's exclusive to the school that I went to. But where I'm going with this is I think that a Valentine's Day should be like that. Okay, so let's say you have dinner planned for six. Well, from 3pm on, no talking between the couple. And then you just build up pent up energy. So then you have something to talk about at dinner. And so the guy gets the moment of silence. And then the gal. You can talk all. We can talk all dinner long.

[B]

Honestly, too. Like, I think not only should there be a moment of silence, separate rooms. Yeah. Because distance makes the heart grow fonder.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Once those three hours are up, it's go time at dinner. You talking and then. And then other go time post dinner kicked out of.

[A]

So then. Do we have to start the cycle again after dinner?

[B]

No, I think there'll be enough pent up go time energy.

[A]

Okay. So, yeah. So it's just basically from 6 p. 6pm on, it's just a sweet release.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Of talking and bodily fluids.

[D]

Definitely.

[B]

Yes. We released definitely for both sides.

[A]

What do you guys think of that idea for Palantine's Day and then parlaying that into Valentine's Day?

[B]

I'm all for it.

[C]

I like it.

[D]

How long are you hanging out with your buddies for?

[A]

All Day.

[B]

Well, you do Palatine's Day the day before.

[A]

Yeah, it's the 13th.

[C]

And the silence will be nice for the hangover.

[D]

Yeah. If I had Valentine's Day. If I had Valentine's Day, I'd be like. I'd wanna. I'd wanna go out to, like, an ice castle or something. Hey, get like, five, six buddies, go out to an ice castle. That's jigging.

[B]

That's the beautiful thing about Palantine's Day is we're not picky. We can do it anywhere.

[D]

No.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. What I said before was just one example of a structure.

[D]

Yeah. You know, it's a good structure, too.

[A]

This is like, you know, it's a. It's kind of a plug and play situation and all. A cart.

[B]

I honestly think the only place that we couldn't do for Valentine's Day is, like, a nice dinner. I think that's off the table for sure.

[A]

But what's better than going with a bunch of guys to a nice steakhouse and just slopping up meat?

[D]

Yeah. But also, like a guy. Fancy restaurant guy's version of a nice dinner, though. That could be fudgeing, boiling sausage out night.

[A]

That is true.

[B]

That is true. That's what I'm saying. I think. I think it should be.

[A]

Well, I'm. You remember my bachelor party? We went and had steak at that one place.

[B]

Yeah, that was nice. That was sweet.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I think that's a great way to end the evening.

[B]

I sampled wines. I don't know what the I'm doing.

[A]

None of us knew what we were doing.

[D]

I think I ate a basket. Whole basket of bread by myself.

[A]

Yep. Sounds great.

[D]

Another. Another basket over here.

[B]

That was sick.

[A]

So that's. It could be.

[B]

You're right. You're right.

[A]

But again, it's all a card. That's just one item. You can choose for your. Your Palatine's Day now. Want to come? Go to a fish fries.

[B]

Do it.

[A]

Yeah. Depending on if it lands on a Friday. That'd be great.

[D]

Yeah. You just. You and your wife could have a meat raffle.

[A]

Hey.

[D]

And then spin the wheel.

[B]

Seller tickets.

[D]

You're the winner of this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did he just read a number? She doesn't have the ticket for. Ooh. Sorry.

[A]

The. The wheel just has one kind of meat on it. Yeah. Hot dog.

[B]

It just says it's just a picture of Jared's face and the arrow lands on him no matter what.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's a good weekend project. Get that wheel ready.

[B]

Yeah, we got a spinner wheel somewhere around here. I'M sure Miles let you borrow it.

[C]

I love arts and crafts.

[A]

It's like the spinner wheel that goes in the wall and then you spin it and just obviously the spinner always just lands straight down.

[B]

Yep, good.

[A]

Put all different kinds of meat and then my meat smiling on the board. All right, guys, time to play Prize Picks right now. Prize Picks will give you fifty dollars in lineups. When you play your first five dollar lineup, win or lose, you're getting fifty bucks in lineups. All you gotta do is you do is use code YBR when you sign up today. YBR, boys.

[D]

50 bones.

[A]

The NFL season is done. Sadly didn't bounce our way.

[C]

Punts did for me.

[A]

Punts you hit. You know, I was skeptical. That was like one of the. What were we, 50%?

[C]

Something like that.

[D]

So I, I did hit a. I did hit. Okay, so I had like 15 lineups going and I sent you guys like, I think two or three of them. The ones I thought were big daddies and the one, I didn't send you guys, 1. So 20 to win. 120.

[C]

At least somebody won.

[D]

It was just, it was an easy little three legger. First rush attempt for three guys more than three and a half yards and we, we smacked it.

[A]

I thought that Golden Gate was a shoe in same.

[D]

None of them hit.

[A]

They didn't even show the Golden Gate bridge.

[C]

I think they did like pregame, but that was about it.

[A]

I don't think I technically counted because they're what, in Santa Clara and not San Francisco or what? Dumb bull crap. Not a language anyways. And everyone knows that once NFL season is done, it's on to nascar.

[D]

That's right.

[A]

Everyone says that. That's what they're all of the sports channels now. All you see on there is just nascar, nascar, nascar. And that's what happens.

[D]

It's like, it's like winter to spring. It always follows.

[A]

So this week we're going to put in the NASCAR lineup for you. I got Ryan Blaney less than, than 32 and a half NASCAR points, which he what? As if he gets about outside of.

[D]

A top five finish, let's say.

[A]

Yeah, it's like, you know, I'm playing the odds here. You know, he's got a high line. So let's go under.

[C]

I got Brad keselowski More than 29 and a half NASCAR points.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

And then Tyler has Chase ELLIOTT More than 30 and a half NASCAR points.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

All right, Tyler, good pick. I got Carson H. Har less than Hosar Hosvar less Thanar and he's a new, newer driver. So I'm still learning names of these rookies, you know, less than 25 and a half NASCAR points.

[A]

You think he's gonna not do well?

[D]

Yeah, I just, I think that, I mean, we bended Daytona. That's a steep incline. I don't know if he. I don't. It's 45 degrees. It's not.

[A]

He's not running.

[D]

No, I know, but I just don't know if he can handle that steep incline.

[A]

But the steep. Yeah.

[D]

Anyways, I think he's going to get a little distracted too with all the stuff going on in the center. Yeah.

[A]

There might be some females in the audience going, hey, driver drive these? You know.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Well, I think he's. He was born in oh three.

[A]

He was.

[D]

I did research on him. He's like what, 20 to 23 years old? 22 years old.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

What 22 year old. Look at.

[A]

He's got no shot gun. If there's any women, you know, and they driver drive these, he's done. You might as well just go to pit road.

[D]

Take the take.

[A]

And I love that for a strategy on prize fix for sure. And that was really smart of you.

[C]

Very good.

[A]

You know, Brad Keselowski, he's seen his fair share.

[D]

Oh God.

[A]

He's going to buy that.

[C]

He's been around the block.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

He grew up on Pam Anderson.

[A]

Yeah. You know, you know, everything after P. Anderson is just a postcard from Paris when you've seen the real thing. You know? That's right. That's right. So guys, if you wanna, I mean you. Not that you wanna. You are now into NASCAR season as you are after NFL season. Ride with us because we're riding with the, with the drivers.

[C]

Drive with us.

[A]

Drive with us to this week. Use code ybr. Sign up today. Yeah. What kind of music does. Should guys be listening to on Palantine's Day? You guys think Trough Rock. Trough Rock.

[B]

What is tr.

[A]

Shameless Plug? That's Jared's. Jared and Jake's playlist.

[B]

That.

[A]

And I want to, I want to see if I can get it right here. Jared, don't. Don't stop me here. From what I understand, it's music that would be playing in the bathroom of the Metrodome while you're peeing in a trough. Is that correct?

[B]

It's so specific.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And you're kind of head bob and you love it.

[A]

Yeah. And it's. It's nothing that's gonna like be. There's no new stuff whatsoever in that.

[C]

Very 80s 70s rock.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And actually, on Spotify, if you search Trough Rock, your playlist is live on there.

[C]

It's a public.

[B]

I'm gonna go follow that right now.

[A]

Little. Little public or a little plug for.

[C]

Your playlist, I might have to rename it to Palantine Rock.

[A]

Yeah, Just do Trough slash Palatine Rock.

[C]

Yeah, I like that.

[A]

Or you get double the followers and duplicate the playlist and just change the name.

[C]

I'll put drunk guy in them in there too.

[A]

No, no, no, no. Let's. I don't want you to pander to me. All right, sorry. Trough Rock. Yeah. Name some of the songs that are on that playlist.

[C]

I think I have, like Kiss, Lick It Up.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

White Snake, I have on there. Here, Here I go again on my.

[A]

Own Here, go again on my own.

[B]

It is not showing up.

[A]

Oh, no. Jared.

[C]

Is it public? I don't know if I made it public.

[B]

I'll search you.

[C]

Oh, you don't. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Yeah. I could pull it up right now.

[A]

Couldn't you be. Couldn't you imagine just peeing in the trough at the metronome?

[D]

I can.

[A]

It's clear as day just listening to Here I Go.

[D]

Yeah. The place I go to when I think of this is Vikings, packers game, Lambeau Field.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

I'm trying to think of some music that I would throw on. I don't like. What do. Like, what do girls like to listen to?

[C]

Whitney Houston, Taylor Swift, you name it.

[D]

T. Swift.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Are you ready for it?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

You're acting surprised by that.

[A]

By what? You Taylor Swift?

[D]

Well, no, I. I know, like. I know, I know. Like high school time out.

[A]

Chicks are listening to Taylor Swift.

[D]

No, I'm talking about like, like 30.

[A]

I thought she was like an underground artist. I thought only dudes listen to her. That's crazy. Are you sure? Do you want a Google Ad?

[C]

T. Swizzle.

[A]

Did you end up finding it?

[B]

Yeah, it's a banger playlist. You want to hear some of them on there? We got two tickets to paradise. Smoking, Smoking in the boys room. Slow ride I love rock and roll Any way you want it. Bad to the bone, Black Betty, Pour some sugar on me, Rebel Yell.

[D]

I know, I. I know a lot of those songs. Love it. Yeah, no, that's solid. Come on.

[B]

Feel the Noise by Quiet Riot. But it must be a remix because it's spelled C U, M and then noise with a Z. Come on, feel the noise.

[C]

Trough Rock, baby.

[D]

Who's feel the.

[A]

This playlist could also Be renamed to songs that make white guys say hell yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's essentially what this playlist is.

[D]

And that. I mean that's a. That's a pretty accurate search in the. In the search query too.

[C]

SEO.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So yeah, Trough Rock. I think that that's the final answer on that.

[B]

That's great. Jared, big fan of your playlist.

[A]

So you think the gifts are only beer and booze or do you think there's any other gifts getting thrown around?

[B]

I got the best idea for gifts for Palantine's Day. You return all the. They've either left at your house or borrowed you.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I dig that.

[A]

I like that you swap. Maybe let's start with one item. Okay, you know, let's. But I was like a carried away.

[B]

But if it's the four of us, I'm gonna bring one thing from each of you.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[D]

See, I don't. Yeah, I'm still waiting on that spade. I got one thing on Miles.

[B]

I was spade shovel like that have been a perfect.

[D]

He thought it was hit. He did think it was his.

[B]

Which is.

[D]

It's valid. But I going to need that in the spring.

[C]

Might be as now though, so.

[A]

Yeah. So hold on. We. We do have a whole episode on this podcast about how long it's been at your house to when it's just yours.

[D]

No, I know.

[A]

I will need to refer back.

[D]

We will. But one, two.

[A]

Were you or were you not storing said spade shovel in my warehouse?

[D]

No, I was. I definitely was.

[A]

I just wanted to put that out there.

[D]

Right.

[A]

So it's not that weird that I thought it was mine.

[D]

You're exactly right.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

If I could borrow it this next spring, I'll be sure to return it.

[C]

Like squatters rights.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. What about like, you know, Valentine's Day cards you got. You giving cards to your buddies or what?

[B]

I. I think maybe like sports cards.

[A]

Oh, okay. Now you got Ryan. Everyone brings a pack of cards and gives it to someone else and they get to break them open.

[B]

Yeah. We could like Yankee swap. We all throw a pack in and then you end up with a. With it with a deck or a pack.

[A]

I like that.

[C]

Man cards.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Everyone grant revoke.

[A]

Everyone upon arrival of Palatine's Day gets a man card. And your goal is just to keep it throughout the whole day. Well, because people can start revoking them. Yep.

[D]

You know, this could also be like a. Almost like a year in review too with your buddies to where like your buddies can choose to re. Revoke man cards from the previous Year or grant you with new man cards.

[B]

Yeah. Yep, yep.

[D]

I think also parliamentary procedure type deal.

[A]

I think the Valentine's Day card should be in the form of a roast.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So you write your roast on a Valentine's Day card and then you read it off. You know, like, roses are red, violets are blue. Tyler, you're a little, you know, like.

[B]

Like doesn't even need to rhyme. Correct.

[A]

Yes, I think could be good. What else could we do on. On Palance? I keep wanting to say Galentine's Day. It just flows better.

[C]

It does, I think A show in a Top Gun. A movie.

[B]

Yeah, dude.

[A]

At least. Yeah. Or at least even in the background.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

You know, you're hanging out in the shop on the like. On the like 24 inch TV in the corner. You gotta have a Top Gun. Maybe die hard, Rocky 4. 300.

[B]

Rocky 4 is great.

[D]

Yeah. I think you just have FX on. So you're getting hit with commercials.

[A]

They have the movies.

[D]

They do. They do. And, and like great movies for Palantine.

[B]

They just on repeat, play Goodwill hunting, then dodgeball. Then it's just like the same cycle.

[A]

Hell yeah.

[B]

Hell yeah.

[D]

Pretty good movies. Yeah.

[C]

Because Galentine's Day is usually rom coms they play, I imagine how to Lose.

[B]

A guy in 10 days.

[C]

Notebook.

[A]

A lot of Hallmark. Yeah. Yeah, I think that that sounds good. Now I am. Are you guys worried at all that Palantine's Day, being this epic, is going to start overshadowing Valentine's Day? And does that matter?

[B]

Do we. Are we that big of fans of Valentine's Day in the first place?

[C]

Don't love it.

[A]

All right. What don't you guys love about Valentine's Day?

[C]

I hate going to the grocery store last minute with all the other dudes.

[A]

The walk of the. The grocery store run of shame.

[C]

And everyone has the same expression. It's just like a straight. Like that.

[A]

That's why. That's why doordashing flowers is a great idea.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

You guys ever go with the edible arrangements instead of flowers? No, Eddie, arrangements are. They're the best because, I mean, you benefit from that too. Who's not going to suck down that?

[A]

I benefit from the beauty of a bouquet of flowers.

[D]

I mean, it might brighten your day in the morning.

[B]

You have allergies, though, so I get it.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Yeah. Great point. Yeah.

[D]

And while in solved Valentine's Day.

[A]

Here you go, honey. This was your wife the whole Valentine's Day. That's why she wants to get out of the house, do something And Ryan.

[B]

Just got unplugged from your wedding flower, so.

[D]

Yeah, my ears are still plugged up from that.

[C]

You get an edible arrangement of just pineapple.

[D]

That's what I was gonna.

[B]

Chocolate strawberries.

[D]

Well, that chocolate strawberry is fine. Pineapple acidic. Gives me canker sores.

[A]

You can't be sucking face with canker sores.

[D]

No, I can't be. I. I mean, I.

[A]

But I think he was talking about a different.

[D]

No, I know. I know why. I know the reason for pineapple.

[C]

Just take some Ambassador.

[A]

Is that even true? I feel like that's one of those things that we all Learned in like 8th grade. Just like the Marilyn Manson thing. Yeah.

[B]

We learned it right at the same time. Mountain Dew shrinks your dick.

[A]

Yes. 100.

[D]

It's like it does.

[A]

Can we even prove that it doesn't? It's a yellow five, Right.

[D]

I mean, I think they've done a study on it.

[A]

On the pineapple.

[D]

They've had to have done a study. Can we look that up? We do have a search.

[A]

Yeah, we don't.

[B]

I know. You should google. I just don't know if we should say it.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Someone'S got to do study on that.

[B]

I'll Google it.

[C]

Should I Google it?

[A]

I just feel like there's so many variables.

[B]

I'm going to incognito this google.

[A]

I would just search. Does pineapple make your semen sweeter? Is what I Google search.

[C]

Semen sweeter.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yes, commonly. So it is. Yes. I can't read it. Very good. Yeah.

[D]

Largely due to its high sugar and citric acid content.

[A]

While scientific studies are limited, anecdotal evidence strongly suggests that eating fruits like pineapple, kiwi papaya, or drinking their juices.

[C]

Could.

[A]

Use any other phrases, typically within a.

[D]

Few hours to a day. Although the effects are temporary.

[A]

Get that edible arrangement lined up for.

[D]

6Am get yourself an Eddie arrangement and get. Get the old wife and Eddie arrangement.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

This one's vine to his or hers.

[A]

You just take a. You take a vase, you take a pineapple. You stick a stick in the bottom of pineapple and put it in the vase. That's your edible arrangement. There you go. Let's dig in.

[C]

Great for swingers.

[D]

Make sure it's not upside down, though.

[A]

Y. Yeah, do it upside down.

[D]

Then she's going to think like, oh, for this Valentine's Day, he's asking me to. With another couple.

[A]

That is true. You know, do a cut up pineapple.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Put the. Cut up the pineapple and put it on a bunch of sticks or yeah.

[B]

Sends a better little extra effort.

[D]

Just take the leaves off of it, and then you don't have to worry if it's upside down or zero leaves.

[A]

Yeah, but that probably means something else.

[B]

Yeah, probably.

[D]

Probably. You might mean you're into guys or something.

[B]

You mean you should because you cut the thing off.

[A]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. She's like, oh, wow, you want to tonight. And then you're like, well, one. Why do you even know that?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

How did you know that was the signal?

[A]

What's going on?

[B]

That was a test.

[C]

It's also turned me on now. You know that.

[A]

But also. Yeah, I gotta go put that IKEA chair together, stat, pronto.

[D]

Yeah, that's actually not. For people who are into that kind of stuff. Cut leaves off pineapples. That's actually not a bad Valentine's Day gift is an IKEA chair.

[B]

Yeah. A little heated backpad in case your back starts hurting. That.

[A]

I don't think he's.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I think he's needing a cooled back pad.

[B]

True.

[A]

I think it's gonna be pretty hot in that room.

[B]

Yeah. We get up an icy hot situation. Yeah. Sweet.

[D]

Yes. We could. We could even do a zero G chair so he's comfortable.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And his back doesn't hurt. Air chair.

[A]

There we go. Don't try and steal my zero G for the chair, please.

[D]

I'm. I'm trying to suck that.

[B]

You're gonna think of that laid out in.

[A]

As soon as I leave here, I'm gonna. Men in Black my memory. That's what I try and do every week on this podcast.

[C]

That's why we forget everything.

[B]

That's why we. Yeah, we do bits twice on accident.

[A]

So the pineapples for Palantine's Day or Valentine's Day? I don't know if we did we determine that.

[B]

Could be both. Depends how close of pals you are.

[A]

Yeah, dude, it could be the. The. It's. If we do it on the 13th, Valentine's Day, you could have, like, the. The annual pineapple feed so all the guys can get prepped for the next day. That's a, you know, idea. Like, basically just like, everyone brings a pineapple, we all cut it up, throw it in the thing. You know, we could do a jungle juice type of situation. Yeah, but just every time you drink, you gotta eat pineapple with it or.

[C]

Make that sucker really pulpy.

[B]

We're just saucing our pineapples in the Margaritaville machine.

[D]

See, this is a. This is a great promotion for pizza companies. Domino's Pizza Hut National Pineapple Day, February 13th.

[B]

Put them on there.

[C]

February 13th could be heart shaped pineapple pizza.

[D]

Also, you guys, now I'm thinking about it. Valentine's Day, February 14th. Saturday, day before Friday the 13th. Oh, so spooky.

[C]

That is true.

[D]

Be careful not to.

[A]

Valentine's Day is on Saturday this year.

[D]

Yes, it is.

[A]

I thought you said Sunday.

[B]

I. I did. I was wrong.

[D]

Saturday. Friday 13th, though. I might throw Freddy on Freddie. Freddy v. Jason.

[B]

Hey, that's a good background noise. FPGA, Palatine's Day.

[D]

Texas Chainsaw.

[A]

Pineapple feed.

[D]

Free will donation.

[A]

Yeah. Are pineapples even in season? Right?

[D]

They ain't in season. No. I. I think we'll still get them, but they're probably pretty.

[B]

We can get the dice stuff in a can.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And can. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. I mean, dole sales got to be through the roof, I feel.

[A]

Yeah, that would be interesting to know. Like, this got to be fresh pineapple or is it like canned stuff, get the job done?

[B]

I think there's plenty of acid in the canned stuff would be all right.

[D]

Did you go to the dole factory when you were in Hawaii?

[A]

I did not.

[D]

No, we did. I went a lot. I went to Hawaii a long time ago. But yeah, the dole factory. It was actually around Valentine's Day, too. They had extra staff walking around there. I could tell.

[B]

Like, this doesn't seem like the normal amount of staff.

[D]

There's trucks going in and out the entire time. Like, wow, they sure sell a lot of Black Friday. It's like Black Friday.

[B]

Yeah. White.

[D]

White Friday.

[A]

Is.

[D]

Is February 13th, day before Valentine's Day. Pineapple feed. Pineapple. Mexican restaurants. I mean, they got pineapple margarita. Sales got to be through the roof.

[B]

You know, pineapple salsa. Trying to think all the things that.

[D]

Have pineapple Coke instead of a cherry. You know, they could do a special promo. Pineapple Coke instead of cherry Coke.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

What would that even taste like?

[D]

That's a good question.

[A]

I definitely would try it. Especially on the 13th.

[D]

It's White Friday.

[B]

Yeah, we see. We got. We have Black Friday, White Friday and Brown Monday. Or no. What's the brown?

[D]

I think it's Brown Friday. Because if Thanksgiving's on Thursday.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Brown Friday.

[D]

Brown Friday. Plumbers, plummies.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

It's hard to keep up.

[A]

Yeah. Is there a remedy for canker sores.

[D]

Gurgling salt water? I didn't want to say gurgling, but.

[A]

Yeah, you want a bunch? Okay. So then we can do the annual saltwater gurgle where all the guys just Are gargling together after eating all the pineapple fruit.

[D]

Well, me and anyone with a citric acid intolerance. Intolerance. Yeah. So.

[A]

So, yeah, just the chosen ones will have to gurgle in front of the guys. Gurgling with the guys. Great band name.

[D]

I mean, they have numbing cream too.

[C]

Yeah, Ambassador works.

[B]

Really?

[D]

Ambi. Yeah, they have. They have numbing cream for canker sores.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So when you guys are talking about Palantine's day before the podcast, is what you and Matt envisioned?

[B]

Yeah, everything I envisioned and more.

[A]

All right, so should we take a break, Jared?

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

All right, guys, I said earlier that we're all brunted up today. I got my brunt T shirt on the left breast action. I know Ryan likes the left breast.

[B]

Lb, you have been noted. Left breast guy.

[D]

A huge left breast guy. You know that.

[A]

And I think it's because you're right handed.

[D]

Probably.

[B]

Yeah. Makes sense if Miles is the picky pants guy. Ryan's the left breast guy.

[A]

Yeah, everyone knows that about Ryan, but we actually this week. So we got new H Vac guys. You guys know that about us. We got new H Vac guys. And I know we now know that this is going to be different with these guys. You know how, like, gal starts dating a new guy, he's like. He's so much different. It ends up not being. Because she ignored all the red flags. Well, we have one resounding green flag with our new H Vac guys, and that is they showed up all brunted up.

[B]

Dude. One guy head to toe.

[A]

One guy was head to toe in brunt gear.

[B]

Yep. I actually thought it was Ryan.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

I almost was like, what are you doing? He was walking back and forth a million times. And I want to be like, ryan, why do you keep doing that? Yeah, but it was H Vac guy.

[D]

I'm not the guy you want working on H Vac. So luckily we had him.

[A]

And it might be my new movie, you know, for if I gotta call a guy, God forbid I don't. But if I do, like, hey, so, like, what are you guys wearing?

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like one of those high school calls. Like, yeah. What are you wearing? Okay. What's your rate?

[A]

Okay. Jim from H Vac. What are you wearing? Brunt pants.

[B]

Mouse needs plumbing work done. She's like, okay, okay. Yeah, I get it. Those are your rates. Great. What are you wearing?

[A]

Like, what are you gonna be wearing? And just.

[B]

I. I'm just curious.

[D]

Can I tell You. One thing that shocked me about it, too, is these guys were. They were up on the roof for probably an hour at a time, probably three different times.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

They didn't have jackets on. Do you guys notice that?

[B]

They're built different.

[D]

That's what I'm saying, though.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

They didn't have jackets on. They didn't need jackets.

[A]

They're brunt Different.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Workshop that one.

[A]

So, yeah, that's a great sign for us. It's a great sign for us. It's also a great sign for them, I think, that their business is about to be booming.

[B]

I sure hope so. Well, I'm not too booming, so they don't have time for us, but, you.

[A]

Know, and they still have a little work to do. They got to order some stuff. Store still got to come in and fix it. But things are looking up because that guy showed up in all Brunt gear.

[B]

Things are looking up because that's where our units are.

[A]

They're on the rooftop units, RTUs. So, guys, if you're a guy who works on rooftop units, you got to get brunted up as well. Go to bruntworkware.com. check it out. All right, Jared, you got a segment for us?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

What? What do we got?

[C]

I asked the patreon for my Patreon patrons for my patreon to send in photos so that we could roast them.

[D]

Them.

[A]

Okay, so what? Do we know what any prompt on what these photos will be?

[C]

No.

[B]

And have you.

[D]

Have you vetted these photos?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, that's good. I didn't. I didn't want to blind react to the photos the patrons sent because I feel like it could be anything cba.

[B]

And then they know we're gonna roast.

[C]

Correct?

[B]

Okay. Yeah. Okay.

[C]

I asked them for photos, and they sent us photos.

[A]

All right.

[D]

And shout out to those people, too, you know, because they get to see us every week face the camera, and they, you know, they got free will to roast us for anything. So this is a nice little change, which they do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I did make one mistake. I forgot to grab their names with the photo.

[A]

So that's one little.

[B]

Damn. I was excited to put the face to, like, Rocky Balboner.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Sorry.

[D]

Maybe that's okay, though.

[A]

This might be okay.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

We'll see how it goes. Could be anonymous. It's, you know, it's a good way to get into. It's anonymous right now.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Except for the fact your face is going to be plastered on the Internet, but.

[C]

All right, so I got nine photos.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

All Right here's number one when it opens.

[D]

Let's go. Is that jordan love?

[A]

What's. What's up, babe? You want to see my micro penis?

[B]

This guy looks like he uses his packers ownership to try and pick girls up at the bar.

[A]

Yeah. Or guys.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. I could have went pro. I just love smoking cigars too much.

[A]

This screams I work a desk job and my wife doesn't have sex with me anymore.

[B]

This guy in his college fun fact said he likes to get rowdy. This guy.

[D]

This guy's resume says works well with others.

[B]

This guy tried to buy a house using his sports cards collection as collateral.

[D]

This guy's got a thousand bitcoin on a hard drive driving a land in a landfill right now.

[B]

His mom accidentally threw it away. He also gets super pissed when his mom buys pepperoni, totinos and not sausage.

[A]

And if this was a live photo, right after this photo was taken, he's just coughing up a line.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

The first cigar he's ever smoked in his life.

[D]

Yeah, this guy definitely doesn't inhale.

[B]

This dude has a monthly only fans budget.

[A]

And he's also like the worst kind of chubby where like you can definitely see his gut hanging out. But like, he's not fat, but he's not skinny either.

[D]

And you can say that.

[A]

And I can say that because I kind of got that going right now. But he's kind of got a body like a bag of milk. Gonna be honest.

[C]

Cheeseburger McCarthy.

[A]

Yeah. Is that. Is that. Is that Mike McCarthy?

[B]

Packers.

[A]

Is he back?

[B]

Steelers Audio visual for our audio only listeners. It's a guy smoking a cigar in a Packers jersey on his.

[A]

On his porch during golden hour. I like. Yeah, it's. It's also nice that it was during golden hour.

[B]

He.

[A]

He only got the golden on half of his face.

[C]

No, this parents patio looks great.

[D]

It's.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Good, Good guy, though.

[B]

Good, good guy.

[A]

And I want the people listening to remember that this. This is a. This is a visual. So go.

[C]

Go to our YouTube or Spotify.

[A]

Or Spotify. You can see these photos. But also remember they told us to roast them. Well, Jared asked if we could roast them. Right.

[C]

Here's the second one.

[B]

Dude.

[D]

Yo. You trying to buy some solar right now? Show me your utility bills right now.

[B]

This was taken 30 seconds before the. The maid of honor slapped him for grabbing her ass. Oh, my God. This dude was a all star on JV special teams.

[A]

Yes. He also definitely sells booze to underage.

[D]

I mean, this guy's mom had to.

[B]

Have cut his hair for some reason, and they don't even know this is a roast. But this guy's mom was definitely a teacher.

[A]

Yeah, for sure.

[D]

Yeah. Like sixth grade teacher.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Honestly, though, that's like the exact move that Ryan will do ironically. And this guy seems to be doing it on ironically.

[D]

I mean, he's definitely got Timberlands on.

[B]

This guy Thought it was super original to shotgun a beer on his grand entrance.

[D]

This guy wasn't even in the wedding.

[A]

He works there.

[B]

Yeah, he just works there. He still did the entrance.

[D]

He's the first guy to ask how many of the bridesmaids are single.

[A]

He also thought he was really doing something with the flowered tie.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Is that flower? Is that a. It looks like a Christmas tie.

[B]

Honestly, my wedding tie was the exact same as I said, pink.

[D]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If he really wanted to party, he would unbutton his shirt a few times.

[D]

Definitely.

[A]

Clearly self conscious about his man boobs.

[B]

But that's why he put the tie on his forehead to distract you from the man boobs.

[A]

That's true. And you can say sweater puppets. Yeah, No, I can say that because this is a roast. Not just because I used to be fat. Yeah, this is a roast.

[C]

Gloves off.

[A]

Yeah, he's definitely got.

[D]

Yeah, never mind.

[C]

All right, number three.

[B]

This guy's got a head like a big toe.

[A]

Yeah. Or a thumb.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

He could be like. He's. He's like the thumb on Spy Kids.

[B]

This guy knew exactly what he was doing. The thumb, thumblies. Right.

[A]

You know, he also could for Halloween. He should be the crimson chin or maybe cleft. The boy chin wonder.

[B]

I've never seen. This is just an observation. I've never seen somebody with less of a chin.

[A]

Yeah. Honestly, he would be a great UFC fighter because no one can hit his chin.

[D]

Yeah, I mean, he. Like, he has just as much neck as he has chin.

[B]

Is this Davis Mills?

[D]

Kind of looks like it.

[C]

Somebody on Patriot commented, is that Jake?

[D]

He could definitely be Jake in the swimming competition.

[A]

This one, though, like, weirdly, I like this photo better than the other two.

[B]

This guy is the sperm that only made it to the egg because the other ones tripped at the finish line.

[A]

No, he's.

[D]

He's championship swim.

[A]

He's the sperm that's still on her back.

[B]

Hey, but he does, though. I see that hickey.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

That he got from his mom's vacuum cleaner.

[A]

No, that's definitely a. A cigarette burn from his dad.

[B]

Yeah, because he. Because he went into swimming and not a real sport.

[A]

I imagine his teeth are so up if he showed them. Snaggletooth. For sure.

[D]

Yeah. I feel like you could. You could eat a bowl of cereal out of that diploma.

[A]

Good.

[D]

I pour some Wheaties in there.

[B]

What chin?

[A]

He literally had to do swimming because he put a football helmet on and the chin strap wouldn't get tight enough. He's got no chin.

[B]

He has the ideal chin for swimming.

[D]

In terms of aerodynamics. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's a guy wearing a swim cap and goggles for the listeners.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Those aren't goggles. Those are just indoor outdoor glasses.

[B]

Are those transition.

[D]

Transition lenses?

[C]

Yeah, Swimming goggles.

[A]

He's definitely. When he got older, just worked at a lens crafter or a sunglasses.

[B]

Yeah. I think this guy was my manager at Sunglass.

[D]

Yeah. I mean, I don't think he can go within a thousand yards of a school if I'm really reading into this guy.

[A]

Every weekend he goes out with the boys and says, where the women at? And he's still a virgin.

[D]

Has yet to close.

[C]

All right, here's number four.

[D]

That's a good one. That was a good one.

[A]

That Ryan. Is that Ryan? No.

[D]

I don't like my weeders that dark.

[B]

I like. Yeah, I like my hot dogs like I like my men.

[D]

I don't like my hot dogs like I like my marshmallows.

[A]

You do or you don't?

[D]

I don't.

[C]

How do you like your marshmallows?

[D]

I like them charred, which is how this hot dog is looking.

[A]

Sure you know this one? I don't know. It's not so bad. Usually.

[D]

Zoom in a little bit.

[A]

I wish we would have done a Photoshop job before this.

[B]

I don't know. I. This guy just seems like he's giving.

[D]

Us too much right away. In the photo.

[B]

Yeah, he.

[D]

He wants us to roast him with what he's doing in the photo, which is a hot dog up to his mouth, looking like he's gonna got major.

[A]

Childhood trauma that he tries to mask with being the funny guy.

[B]

Oh, just. Yeah. He's the guy that will, like, ride his bike into a tree just for.

[A]

A couple laughs, like he just got done jumping off the roof because his buddy said it would be funny. Yeah.

[B]

And his first name's Dylan, but it was his. He was like, you guys probably don't think I'll jump off the roof. And then they're like, no, you're right. And then he does it.

[A]

It's. He. He's a shoe in target to get addicted to meth. I think, like, if you're a Meth dealer, and you want a reliable customer, you don't want to call this guy.

[D]

I think he's.

[A]

He's. He's not right now. He's not a meth head, but he's definitely got the prototype for it. You know, in the NFL draft, if they're looking for a certain body type on a quarterback, he's got certain body type for a meth.

[D]

I think he's in a good spot to not go down that road, though, because he looks like he still lives at home.

[B]

Yeah, he can't fucking cook for himself, that's for sure.

[D]

Or maybe he can. Maybe that's the best he can do.

[B]

That is the most burnt hot dog I've ever seen in my life.

[A]

That bun does look good, though. I love bread.

[C]

All right, here's number five.

[D]

Let's see your picture.

[A]

That's.

[D]

That's great comparison. Oh, yeah, Zoomer and more. Hey, is one of his buddies naked down below?

[A]

No.

[D]

Oh, that is a.

[B]

That is another person down there.

[D]

Yeah, I think he's naked.

[A]

I think he's opening his cheeks for him.

[B]

This is pre coitus. Honestly, you just talked about meth. That senior photo and the current photo of him are the perfect before and after.

[D]

Zoom in some more.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's like the don't do drug.

[D]

I think he's smoking a joint right now.

[B]

He is. This is like. This is LT at waterboys camp. Kids don't smoke crap.

[A]

This is what happens when you get rejected by the community college out of high school.

[C]

The 99 acceptance rate.

[B]

This guy looks like if Jelly Roll was actually put together. Yeah, that was more dig on.

[A]

No, he's just one of Jelly Rolls.

[B]

This is. Yeah, one of Jelly's role rolls.

[A]

Yeah, he lost Jelly Roll lost all of his rolls. So he's just jelly now. This is where his role went.

[D]

I mean, this guy's definitely tell you how many beers he drank at the end of the night.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[B]

He's. He's telling you he blacked out, but then knows the exact number of beers he drank.

[A]

He's also definitely gonna piss on someone's couch. For sure.

[B]

This guy shits his butt cheeks a lot.

[D]

Couldn't be more accurate.

[A]

This dude couldn't get laid, so he grew his hair out so women would feel his hair. I know that because it happens at the bar.

[D]

I mean, this guy's Tinder profile picture is still the senior photo on the right here.

[B]

He has both these pictures in his Tinder.

[D]

It's the total catfish Job, and he's the one who's gonna be catfishing on the weekends.

[A]

I just can't believe the. The jump he went from the elbow patches on a sweater. American eagle to that gut and that. That porn stash that he's got.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

This is like if Ron Jeremy had a son.

[A]

I mean, honestly, like the. The senior photo, he looks like he is an accountant in his 40s. And then it's almost like this should be flipped.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he's.

[A]

He looks older in his senior photo than he does here.

[B]

He's regressed.

[A]

And you definitely can't grow a beard. Mustache is all he was able to muster up.

[B]

Must it up.

[C]

All right, here's number six.

[D]

Zoom in on that.

[A]

Miles.

[D]

Did we be. Did we meet that guy on my bachelor party in Deadwood? Do you remember that conversation? That guy was gonna send us all the weed we wanted. Do you remember that? In the bodega?

[A]

Yeah, he was just. He was just gonna mail us bags of whatever we wanted.

[B]

He's got him ready to go. This might be him. Dude, does it actually look like this guy?

[D]

Yes. I mean, I was blacked out. It looks just like it.

[B]

For the Lister.

[D]

Dude, I think this is him.

[B]

It's just a very normal looking guy holding up four giant Ziploc bags of weed of grass.

[A]

Yeah, we don't know. It could be moss. It's true.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It could be oregano.

[A]

It could be basil. It looks like it could be, like a St. Patrick's Day fruity Pebbles version. Knockoff brand.

[B]

Fruity Pebbles is a good strain.

[D]

I mean. Yeah. He's giving me everything I want right now. I can't. Now I can't.

[B]

Brian can't roast this guy.

[A]

One that he. He.

[C]

You would like to roast with this guy?

[A]

Yeah, I think it's one of your college buddies, ain't it?

[D]

If you pulled a one of my college buddies up, Jared, I'd lose my mind.

[C]

Podcast over.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

But, yeah, we're done.

[A]

I feel like we're. This is incriminating evidence somewhere in the United States.

[B]

It's legal a lot of places.

[A]

Well.

[D]

And we also don't know what it is.

[B]

That's true.

[D]

Yeah. I mean, I feel like his mom is like. His mom's downstairs watching Price is right right now.

[B]

Yeah. And he keeps. She keeps knocking on his door, and he gets pissed at her mom.

[D]

I'm taking photos, Jamie.

[B]

I like how everyone's ready. Every one of these roasts, we've assumed they live with their mom, so.

[D]

Mom, I'll have An appetite in five minutes. Just give me a second.

[C]

Doing science stuff.

[A]

He definitely sent this photo. He had this photo on his camera because he sent it to some chick he was trying to hook up with. That's got gauges and a bull nose.

[D]

For sure.

[B]

Septum piercing.

[D]

Yeah. And a beanie on.

[A]

And the tattoo sleeve with birds on. It definitely sent that to us.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

All right. Here's the number seven.

[A]

I have no notes. This guy. This guy.

[D]

Holy.

[B]

There's absolutely zero doubt in my mind that this man is named Daryl.

[D]

I mean, Yeah.

[B]

I mean, is he an archery coach? Is that what his shirt says?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What is that bug?

[A]

Oh, I don't know, but I love it. I. I have no notes. I do not ro. I have no roast for this guy.

[B]

Miles, we both committed to. On our New Year's resolutions to try a new facial hair.

[A]

Could be it.

[B]

Are we looking at a sample of what we could do?

[A]

Isn't that like the.

[D]

You.

[A]

Ulysses S. Grant, you have a thing. Like.

[B]

It's kind of the Wolverine.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

The fool Manchuski.

[A]

So, yeah, I mean, that's what I'll look like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just a little shorter hair.

[B]

We gotta talk about this man's haircut, too. Everything else is distracting.

[A]

Zoom in on his hair.

[B]

It's not just a regular mullet. He buzzed the top.

[A]

It's the skull. It. I think, a little bit.

[D]

I mean, we're looking at, like, elementary principal in the front and Project X in the back.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it looks like someone clipped extensions on the back of his head. It does, but he's definitely works out of school. I don't know why, but he's definitely, like, the gym teacher.

[B]

It says coach on his shirt.

[A]

Yeah, I know.

[D]

I am the archery coach. Sage.

[B]

Save.

[D]

Save time.

[C]

Let's just assume that I'm never wrong.

[A]

Great shirt. I love this guy. Rock. You know, he definitely. He's also a bread lover. I know that. Look at that double chin. Or true. No. How many chins is there, Jared? Three, I think Four. Three to four chins.

[B]

This guy for sure will drink mouthwash in a pinch in school.

[A]

This guy's wife definitely let herself go.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

He doesn't live with his mom. That's the first one. Yeah.

[B]

Or for some reason, this dude's wife is an absolute smoke show.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't think there's no in between. Either it's a Tammy with two teeth or we're looking at Miss America.

[A]

I didn't say she was. I just said she let herself go.

[B]

I. I'm saying there's no in between. It's either the bottom of the spectrum or the top.

[C]

Hop.

[A]

He definitely isn't wearing. He had the dogs out. He wasn't wearing shoes. And the photographer is like, we gotta crop those things out. There's so much toe fungus on him. He definitely looks like he's got some sort of toe fungus.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[D]

But I also feel like if that the. If the cam on that bow isn't by his knee, that you'd be able to see the tip of his wiener potentially.

[A]

Oh, you're saying he's got a big dick?

[D]

Yeah. I mean, you just look at the guy like he's. He's.

[B]

His nickname's horse.

[C]

Horse.

[D]

Coach Horse.

[C]

All right, here's number eight.

[A]

God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[D]

That's crazy.

[A]

Oh, my God. You look like a. You look like a sheer it. If you just go like this, Ryan, and get rid of his. From his eyes up, he looks like Peter Griffin.

[B]

You do.

[C]

It's so bad.

[A]

I hate it.

[B]

Dude, you're. The bottom of your face does not match your body.

[A]

His face looks like he just. His pants.

[B]

This is like the photographer's sixth time trying to get Jared to smile.

[C]

Yeah, right.

[B]

He's like, fine, I'll show you.

[C]

I remember this photo. I just wanted to take a regular picture, but they made me hold a camera because I was a cameraman. Like, I don't want to hold the camera.

[A]

They made me.

[D]

This guy looks like he still talks about the state championship in high school.

[B]

Yeah, except he does it because we didn't even know he won state until we went to his wedding.

[A]

That's true. Look at those sideburns, too.

[C]

Yeah, nice.

[D]

Look at those pecs, though. At the same time, I look jacked. Yeah, you do.

[B]

Carrying that camera around everywhere. This guy looks like he is the chief photographer of a very successful news market.

[C]

A very small news market.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I also never realized how you have a large chin in terms of, like, might just be the lighting, but, like, it's like a big bulb on the end of your chin.

[B]

Yeah, you took all the chin away from that swimming guy.

[D]

Jared, you're a good looking guy, though. Don't.

[A]

No, I know, but I've never seen his chin. It's always covered up with a beard.

[B]

It's true.

[A]

Never realized how much chin you got.

[C]

And I remember the photographer used, like, a wide angle lens, too.

[A]

Oh, nice save. Yeah. Yeah, I think this is like. Like a 14 millimeter lens. Just fisheye. So if you were on a Normal lens be way skinnier.

[B]

Look, I see you in person every day, and for some reason in this picture, your head does not fit on your body. And then it just. It does now when I'm looking at you in real time.

[D]

Do you still have that polo?

[C]

No, I think I just put it on for the.

[A]

That.

[C]

For that photo.

[A]

We should do photos like this.

[C]

Why?

[A]

Cuz I just decided that and I run the company.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

I would love to do a photo like this.

[C]

I could hold the m. Microphone.

[D]

Actually, I. I did just.

[A]

Yeah, you just hold up a pane of glass in front of yourself.

[D]

We should take sport. We should take sports photos with that type of.

[A]

So what number was this?

[B]

Eight. One more.

[A]

So does that mean that one of us is in this last one?

[B]

Probably.

[A]

Here we go.

[D]

I think it's going to be either me or Tyler Miles out of the equation.

[A]

I think I might be in it. Yeah.

[C]

Patron sent that photo.

[B]

Where the is this?

[A]

That's at the. The news station in town at the podcast. So fat. I mean, this guy. This guy is the guy who ate all of Jelly's rolls and he.

[D]

Yeah, he.

[A]

This guy got a girlfriend and then immediately let himself go.

[D]

This guy invested in dominoes over Covid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And not with the stock market. With his belly.

[D]

He.

[A]

He invested in dominoes with his belly.

[D]

Yeah, he quite literally wore dominoes on his sleeve.

[B]

It looks. It looks like this Miles ate you.

[A]

Yeah. No.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

100.

[D]

It look also looks like your hair. It could be mutton chops.

[B]

It does. It looks like it could be ear hair.

[D]

Yeah, it looked like he. Like he could have taken Rum Springer a little bit too seriously and not. Not went back.

[A]

Oh, my God. I was just so fat that.

[C]

You'Re happy though.

[D]

He was no knowing what was on it, what was on his doorstep when he got home.

[A]

I don't know if.

[D]

Medium pepperoni.

[A]

Can you zoom in on the bottom left? Jared, if you could. The bottom left, Bottom left. Look at the bicep on that guy, though. Holy. Hey, he's jacked.

[B]

When you've got to move around that much weight, you build muscle.

[A]

When. You know how many reps I got from taking Dom slices right into the mouth?

[B]

Yep. 12 slice curls.

[D]

Hell yeah.

[A]

It just looks like I got the fat filter on. Snapchat on.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Ryan, your observation about the hair I can't unseed. Looks like you have mutton chops.

[A]

It also looks like. Like I just went like this and I blew up like a balloon.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. Possible allergic reaction to a bee sting.

[A]

Yeah, It Looks like I needed. I need to drink a whole bottle of Benadryl.

[D]

Is this Will Smith? Will Smith from Hitch?

[A]

This is.

[B]

This is.

[A]

It's.

[B]

This is my God. Damn it. I had it. It's like the Michelin man and Lord Farquaad had a baby.

[A]

Yeah, that's really true, but I am forklift certified, so.

[D]

Yeah, I mean, that expired five years ago, but still certified.

[A]

Thanks, Ryan.

[D]

Welcome.

[A]

It's for outing me like that.

[B]

Yeah. Hey, very plenty you to leave me and Ryan. I appreciate it.

[C]

Yeah, no problem.

[A]

Yeah, we could just definitely do that segment again. Two photos.

[D]

I got a good photo for you. Buck 95, sophomore year, college.

[B]

Bowflex bod. We had that picture up in 1:1.0.

[D]

No, that was powerlifting. I was. I was. My total was around 1300 there.

[B]

I don't know.

[D]

Deadlift. So buck 95 was sophomore year, college.

[A]

Got any patron questions for us, Jared?

[C]

I do. Let's see. Give me one sec.

[A]

That was nice. I felt kind of good.

[B]

It did feel good.

[A]

Like I've been too nice on this podcast lately.

[B]

I just hope we didn't hurt anyone's feelings things. Hey, you asked for it. Literally.

[A]

Jared asked for it.

[B]

You agreed to it.

[A]

They. They signed a verbal contract by sending it.

[C]

Mike Oxener, can we get a heat check on handkerchiefs? Cool. Not cool. What. What's it say about you? Seen some folks bringing them back and wondering if it could be a move.

[A]

I think it's a move if you're doing it because you're doing it.

[B]

It.

[A]

I feel like the only people I've seen trying to bring it back are like hipsters who are wearing car heart ironed car heart overalls. And then it's hanging out the back.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

With cuffed bottoms.

[A]

Mike, I. E. Jake.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Jake would for sure have a handkerchief in his pocket and then be offended when we make fun of him for it. What did you expect?

[A]

I'm just a huge snot rocket guy, though. Though I feel like that kind of like you. Then I lose that.

[B]

So my grandpa on my dad's side is a man's man and he carries a handkerchief. And it's sweet when he does it, but I could never pull out.

[D]

It's gross, though.

[B]

It is disgusting.

[A]

But you just have this snotty rag in your back pocket all the time.

[C]

Study rag.

[B]

But he uses. He uses it for everything. He'll blow his nose. He'll wipe engine grease off with it.

[D]

It.

[B]

He uses it for everything. He's got like five or six.

[A]

Yeah, I'm I'm on board with that.

[B]

Yeah. Wipe his face off after dinner with it. Like, you know how much snots in that, grandpa?

[D]

Oh, dude.

[A]

It does dry though. Yeah, it's just his snot. You know, like, if I'm working out in the morning, I'll snot rocket on the garage floor behind Anne's car.

[D]

I know.

[A]

I'll just take my sleeve, just wipe the rest. For sure. They got like a workout sweatshirt that I don't wear anywhere else. I'm like, I don't give a what happens. I could or piss on it.

[C]

You say that out loud.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's like, what? But yeah, dude, a nice snot rocket in the morning. It's got. It's way better than blowing into any fabric or Kleenex.

[D]

Agreed.

[C]

I feel like a stock rocket in the winter. Feels better than the summer for some reason.

[D]

Agreed.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

The only downfall though is that like the remnants left in your nose. It, it, it like hardens, right?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

But it also. You have more snot in your nose in the winter to rock it.

[B]

I. I would maybe argue though, a snot rocket in the shower. Oh, is a good one.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Gets all steamy in there. Gets the juice is flowing, things are loosened up.

[B]

Doesn't matter where it lands.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Yeah. Taking a piss in the shower and snot rocking on the wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

And then following that up with a waffle stomp.

[B]

Just a, just a standing in waffle stomp, dude.

[A]

My wife on White Friday. My wife. If you want to make my wife die laughing at any moment, you just say waffle stomp and she loses her. Okay. She thinks a waffle stomp is the funniest thing ever.

[D]

See. And me, I. I think the term stamp in your undies, like having to. Having to take a. But like don't have anywhere to do it. Like I'm stamping my undies right now. I think that will make me die laughing. That'd be a good context.

[A]

That one's not a surprise. Not a surprise at all.

[D]

Or like my buddy one time, he had a. He had a hemorrhoid in his butt and he's. He said after he get done wiping, it looked like a Chinese flag.

[B]

No, it'd be the Japanese. Whose flag is. It is just white with a red stripe down the middle.

[A]

Well, the, the Switzerland.

[B]

Yeah, something like that.

[A]

Switzerland.

[D]

One of them Nordic countries.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Stamp in the undies.

[B]

If you look at the Chinese flag, that's of concern.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You maybe need to seek medical.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Now I Actually, I. I got my 3 year old on the stamping. Stamping your undies line.

[B]

Can't wait for him to bring that to kindergarten.

[D]

I know.

[B]

Hey, teach, I gotta go.

[A]

I'm stamping my undies and he just suddenly becomes Boston.

[B]

Yeah. Hey teach.

[A]

Hey, teach. Him stamping my. Trying to.

[D]

Over here.

[B]

I'm stabbing my undies. I gave you a apple. Let me go.

[A]

Dude, teaching your kid to have a Boston accent only when he talks to your wife would be elite. Hey, mom. What. Hey, ma. What are you doing in there, Mama? I'm wait. I'm waiting. I'm waiting for the.

[B]

The.

[A]

I'm waiting for my hot dog.

[D]

The pastrami.

[A]

I don't know if that's New York.

[B]

We're getting Italian now.

[C]

East Coast.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or the mob.

[B]

The Boston guys. They have it's cause getting out of my. The cars in my way and southy.

[A]

That one. That's. That's a new goal for me.

[D]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[C]

Eric Clapkin. Questions for the boys. Do you ever let your wife win in games where she's losing? My wife is a sore loser and gets pissed when she is about to lose and never wants to play again. Again. Should I let her win a few to keep her playing?

[B]

No, I. I let my wife keep it close sometimes in cribbage. So she keeps playing with me. She'll get bored if I kick her ass every time.

[A]

My. My wife's pretty competitive. I try and whoop her ass as much as I can in games. Figuratively in games.

[C]

Got it.

[D]

Yeah. I'm not. Yeah. My. My wife and I went through a big pickle ball stint a few years ago and. And she would like legitimately beat me in pickle ball and that pissed me off.

[B]

So.

[A]

But it would be worse if she let you win.

[D]

Correct.

[A]

So I think that's as people who are very competitive. Letting someone who's very competitive win and they figure that out is worse than them losing.

[B]

Yep.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

But yeah, I would never let my wife win. My. I think it's flipped. Like I definitely will get. But my. When I. When I lose bad to my wife or something like that and something, I don't quit. I. I want to keep running it back until I win over and over. So if we were playing a card game and I lost, I would be like, we're playing again.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And she would let you lost, let you win so she could be done.

[A]

But then I. Then I'd want to run it back again because I knew she let me Win. And I would go until I actually won one. And it wouldn't be great for my marriage.

[B]

So we just don't play games.

[A]

So we do avoid games sometimes. We. We. One game we do right now is we. We. We're now reached the stage of adulthood where we watch Wheel of Fortune every night.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Dude. It is. I didn't fully get it. Like, I got it, you know, Wheel of Fortune. Classic, classic. I didn't get it until it's like. It's the perfect amount of Wheel of Fortune. It's a half hour show. You know, they just. They keep things moving. It's all about this, the. The phrases, all that stuff. It's the same thing every time. It's great. So we try to compete to who can figure out the puzzle faster. And I usually win.

[B]

Nice.

[D]

Did you see that?

[A]

But then she'll start playing and call it out when I'm not even looking at the TV or. No, it's on. All right. I'm winning 1 0, bro. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Did you see Big Sean and Two Chains the other night?

[A]

No. On Wheel of Fortune. I missed that one.

[D]

That was pretty good. Two Chains was dominating My.

[B]

My grandma's a freak at Wheel of Fortune. It's. She'll. We'll all be sitting there and there'll be 10 of us on Thanksgiving or whatever trying to figure it out, and she'll have it three letters in.

[A]

Well, so what I end up doing is I. I think too literally about, like, you know, like the category the cat. Like, what the actual category is. It's always very loose, and I have to keep reminding myself that.

[B]

Yep. And then you got to look, think about words with two meanings. They'll throw one in there. Even though it's the less popular of those meanings.

[A]

Yeah. I think last night, one of them was Monthly. Monthly and Buffalo Bills. And I was. Think I got Buffalo Bills right away. So then I started thinking sports and stuff, and I was like, I shouldn't have been doing that. But. So.

[D]

Yeah. Is that all you got?

[A]

J.

[C]

We can do a fun fact.

[A]

Let's do it.

[C]

Sam Darnold's grandpa name was Dick Hammer.

[B]

I heard this.

[A]

Who?

[C]

Sam Darnold.

[A]

Sam Darnold.

[C]

Super bowl winner, Quarterback Sam Darnold.

[A]

Sam. Oh, at this point, Yeah.

[B]

Y. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Sam Darnold's dad's brother's name was. What dad?

[C]

Dick Hammer.

[A]

Well, it was his dad's brother.

[C]

Grandpa.

[A]

It was his. His. Sam Darnold's grandpa was. What?

[B]

Are you okay?

[D]

What's going on with Dick Hammer? Sammy D's grandpa.

[A]

Stick Hammer.

[D]

Grandpa hammer?

[B]

Yeah. Wasn't he like an actor too?

[C]

Yeah, he was the Marlboro Man.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? It's just the coolest grandpa ever. Ever.

[A]

Well, that makes sense of why he's the Darnold. His grandpa was the Hammer.

[D]

So that means like when. When he would like sign up for something, they'd have a list of names on the roster or whatever. It'd be like last and then first.

[B]

Hopefully not be Hammerdick. Hammer dick. Present.

[A]

He was the marble man.

[C]

Yeah, one of the marble men.

[A]

That's nice.

[C]

And he was an Olympic athlete too.

[A]

Dude. Sam Donald's stock is skyrocketing.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Because he won the super bowl and the mvp.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

As we all know.

[A]

As we all know at the time of this recording because it's after the super bowl.

[B]

And for sure not before it.

[C]

That one catch was crazy.

[B]

Dude.

[D]

What a catch.

[B]

What a catch.

[C]

That was crazy.

[D]

With the Golden Gate in the background.

[B]

Dude, it was awesome. When they put the cam on Lionel Messi, they could call it.

[D]

They could even call it.

[A]

It was an unbelievable. It was a gray cat. The next play, roughing the passer. Then it was quarter break. That cut to Lionel Messi beforehand.

[B]

Yeah, it was. It was the best possible scenario.

[D]

And with the Golden Gate in the background.

[A]

And then. And then when they came back from commercial break, did the Golden Gate deal.

[B]

It was so weird that they green screened the Golden Gate Bridge behind Lionel Messi's head when he said, what a catch. After that, roughing the passer.

[A]

And he was referring to the guy who caught the flag. Yes.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Well, yeah, he. He could have. We didn't know what he was like. He could have been talking about a chick. Who knows.

[A]

Yeah. He's like, wow, she's. What a catch. Here's a guy that knows how to catch. All right. Is that it, Jared?

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Well, guys, thanks for tuning into another episode of you Bet yout Radio Video. Have a great weekend. Great week and weekend. We'll see you next one. Oh, yeah, betcha. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Fun fact. Here we go. The Ang. The Anglo Zanzibar War, which took place on August 27, 1896, holds the record for the shortest war in history. It lasted between 38 and 45 minutes with the British Empire defeating the Sultanate. Sultanate of Zanzibar. The conflict arose from a succession dispute following the death of of the previous sultan. Sultan. British forces are armed with superior weaponry. Quickly overwhelmed the defending Zenzibar forces, bringing the war to a swift conclusion.

[A]

A Taylor Swift Conclusion, Conclusion. One, so this happened right about when my pocket watch was made.

[D]

Hell yeah.

[A]

Two, you said Zanzibar.

[C]

Zanzibar.

[A]

What's the blackjack song or Jack Black. Not blackjack. Zanzibar. Do you remember that?

[D]

No, I don't.

[A]

I never knew. Yeah, something like that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Never knew what Zanzibar was till just now. So that is kind of a fun fact, Jared. I mean this is how most wars should go. But there's no money in that, correct?

[D]

Yeah, there, there's no. Yeah, there's no. So what, what determines a war?

[C]

I think when they, they declare.

[A]

I think they declare war and then they conceded war 45 minutes later. That's how it should be. Yeah, it's like. Yeah, we're way out, manned and holy. We are in over our head. Yeah. We'll concede. This is not worth our time. Yeah.

[D]

Both sides are like 1, 2, 3, 4. I declare thumb war.

[A]

Yeah. Was this just a thumb war?

[D]

A 38min thumb war?

[B]

It was.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's a long thumb war.

[D]

One guy kept hiding his down by his palm. He could never get that guy.

[A]

Hey, really though, in thumb war years, this is a long ass war.

[B]

The longest.

[A]

It's the longest thumb war. Great spin zone.

[D]

Because I think. Yeah. Fun fact. I think the average thumb war lasts between like five and six seconds before a winner's declared or there's cheating.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So this, this is so that be so. Yeah. So if it's 6 seconds per thumb war year or no. Yeah. Because like average war lasts like six or seven years. So really, each thumb war lasts six regular war years. So then six times ten. So then it's like sixty. Each minute that goes by is sixty years of thumb war. So then sixty times, that's like one hundred and eighty year war. That's maybe the longest war ever in thumb war years. War years.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

How long did it last?

[C]

45 minutes.

[B]

45 minutes.

[A]

Well, even longer than 180.

[C]

Well, between 38 and 45.

[A]

What's 60? 45.

[D]

Well, we're talking like 260 times 45. 2700. Talking 2700. I mean this is like.

[A]

This is the longest thumb war. See? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean that's a long ass war.

[D]

2,700 year war.

[A]

It's not an ass war though. It's not a long ass war. It's a long thumb war. That's a long thumb war.

[C]

Sore thumbs after that one. God.

[D]

Well, I can imagine back. I mean, imagine being an hour away.

[A]

And it's like, like call in the Banners. We're going to war. They're like, we'll be an hour. Then they get there and there's like, they're already lost. Like, what the.

[B]

Yeah, they got.

[A]

The traffic was bad. I couldn't get here fast. You see, all you guys wanted to do is hold off for another 15 minutes and we could have won this thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Little 15 minute ceasefire.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Little, little country mandated 15 minute break, Huh?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Fun fact of the week.

[D]

What was the war called?

[C]

The Anglo Zanzibar war.

[D]

Yeah, I remember that one. 7th grade geography.

[A]

The 2700 year thumb war.

[C]

Well, maybe your pocket watch times this war.

[A]

I mean, it could have. Yeah, very well could have. You know, know, like literally this war lasted one cup of coffee.

[C]

This pod, this episode.

[D]

Yeah. One Patreon episode. We, we could be commentating for a full episode on this war.

[A]

Oh, another guy got shot. Yeah.

[D]

It's like a game of dodgeball.

[A]

Like.

[C]

Or it's like a measure.

[D]

One guy. Yeah. You're out. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, they could just play the footage of the entire war during the super bowl halftime show.

[C]

Yeah. Or if you're an hour and a half away, just say, I'm two Zanzibars away.

[A]

Yeah. Two Anglo Zanzibar wars away.

[D]

Yeah. I'm a couple AZ's out seeing 45.

[C]

Stupid.

[A]

Does it say how many people died?

[C]

I don't have that at three. I could probably Google it quick.

[D]

I can't imagine.

[A]

Google it quick.

[D]

I can't imagine the Zanzibar had that many people.

[A]

Because I'm thinking now, well, depending on how many people died. There's no way that many people died in 45 minutes. The Boston molasses disaster may be more deadly.

[D]

Yeah. More catastrophic than the Anglos out. Ah, 500.

[C]

500 brutal.

[D]

Approximately 500 killed or wounded. Oh, so maybe not even 500.

[A]

Most of the dead is a result of the fire that engulfed the palace.

[D]

Not even a ceasefire than a palace fire.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Huh.

[A]

Shortest war war, but longest thumb war.

[D]

Yeah. Maybe the Brits just came off of a heavy loss too. Out of what war was before this.

[C]

Well, I think the Brits are just like conquering as much land as they could.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

They needed. They needed a quick W under their belts.

[A]

Yeah. Here's the thing. Like they clearly picked an opponent. Yeah, like that'd be like LeBron James playing a two year old in basketball. It's gonna be over in 30 seconds.

[D]

You know, it's a classic pick on someone your own size.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

It's like the first game of college football year. Like Alabama plays like Eastern Kentucky.

[D]

Yeah. Community college guys.

[A]

That was a fun little snippet from our Patreon episode last week. You can find all of our patreon [e-mail] you betcha.

[B]

Radio.