This Is Why Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day 🎙 #326

Summary

Podcast Summary: You Betcha Radio – "This Is Why Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day" 🎙 #326

Release Date: May 14, 2025

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Introduction: Celebrating Ryan’s New Arrival

The episode kicks off with Tyler announcing significant news about Ryan: [00:00] Ryan has welcomed a newborn son over the weekend. Tyler humorously teases Ryan, suggesting he's enjoying some relaxation while juggling fatherhood. Jared chimes in, emphasizing the importance of bonding with the baby, even if Ryan is seen enjoying a cigar while feeding his child.

Notable Quote:

Tyler (00:46): "12 boys have been birthed after someone has worked here. No girls."

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Home Ownership Woes: Battling the Rot in the Cabin

Tyler delves into his recent challenges with maintaining his lake cabin's screened-in porch. He describes encountering deteriorating wood due to poor drainage, which complicates his attempts to keep the area clean. The conversation humorously highlights the frustrations of DIY home maintenance, with Jared offering mock support and suggestions.

Notable Quote:

Tyler (07:51): "If I keep sweeping, it's gonna actually make it dirtier."

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Prize Picks Segment: Betting Picks and Predictions

Transitioning into their regular segment, Jared and Tyler discuss their weekly Prize Picks selections. Despite Ryan’s absence due to paternity leave, he still participates by sharing his picks. The trio exchanges playful banter about their choices, showcasing the show's camaraderie and lighthearted competition.

Notable Quote:

Ryan (10:50): "Jared Nazreed. More than 11 and a half points."

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Technical Troubles: Mowers and Washing Machines

The hosts share humorous and relatable stories about dealing with malfunctioning equipment. Ryan narrates his ordeal with a faulty lawnmower that led to hours of frustration, only to discover the simplest solution was missing gas. Similarly, Jared recounts his battle with an old washing machine that refused to drain, culminating in a messy yet funny resolution.

Notable Quote:

Ryan (18:09): "I got out of that, figured that out... I was out of gas this entire time."

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Sigma Cringe: Debunking Misguided Confidence Tips

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to critiquing online "Sigma" behavior and absurd self-improvement tips. The hosts mock a viral video teaching men how to enter a room "coolly," labeling it as "Sigma Cringe." They hilariously dissect the logic behind such advice, emphasizing the silliness of overcomplicating basic social interactions.

Notable Quote:

Tyler (51:38): "If your ring finger is shorter than your index finger, you're going to get pegged by your wife."

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Personal Anecdotes: Concerts, Movies, and Childhood Memories

The conversation shifts to personal stories about attending events alone. Tyler debates the merits of going to concerts or movies by oneself, sharing his preference for social settings. Jared reminisces about childhood experiences running a family resort, highlighting the transient nature of friendships formed there. They also discuss favorite movies from their youth, adding a nostalgic touch to the episode.

Notable Quote:

Jared (81:35): "I was terrified to walk home after watching The Amityville Horror."

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Lightning Facts and Survival Tips: A Brief Educational Segment

Ryan shares an intriguing fact about lightning—highlighting that it strikes the Earth approximately 100 times per second and that the Empire State Building is struck about 25 times annually. The hosts humorously question the plausibility of surviving lightning strikes, blending education with their signature comedic style.

Notable Quote:

Ryan (66:04): "Lightning strikes the Earth approximately 100 times per second..."

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Closing Remarks: Merchandise Promotion and Ryan’s Absence

As the episode wraps up, Tyler promotes the show's merchandise available at youbetcha.com and encourages listeners to support them on Patreon for exclusive content. The hosts joke about pranking Ryan during his paternity leave by ordering merchandise in his absence, maintaining the show's playful spirit.

Notable Quote:

Tyler (73:00): "We have the black hat. I got the gray and white trucker hat on."

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Conclusion: A Blend of Humor, Relatability, and Midwest Charm

"You Betcha Radio" delivers another engaging episode filled with humor, personal stories, and relatable struggles of homeownership and parenthood. The hosts' dynamic interactions and witty banter make for an entertaining listen, capturing the essence of Midwest camaraderie and genuine friendship.

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Key Takeaways:

• Ryan’s Newborn: Celebrating the newest addition to the team with humor and heartfelt congratulations.
• DIY Challenges: Navigating home maintenance with a comedic twist.
• Prize Picks Fun: Engaging in friendly betting competitions.
• Sigma Cringe Critique: Laughing off misguided self-improvement advice.
• Personal Stories: Sharing childhood memories and personal preferences.
• Educational Snippets: Offering interesting facts amidst the jokes.
• Listener Engagement: Encouraging support through merchandise and Patreon.

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Final Thoughts:

Whether you're tuning in for the first time or a longtime listener, episode #326 of "You Betcha Radio" promises a delightful mix of laughter, relatable anecdotes, and genuine insights into the lives of the hosts. Don't miss out on their Midwest charm and comedic take on everyday challenges!

Transcript

[Tyler]

Guys, in today's episode, Ryan has some big news. Tyler and Jared have some home ownership woes, and we found the alpha of all alpha males. So enjoy the show. Boys are back in town. Except for Ryan's out of town. Ryan, ladies and gentlemen, had his baby over the weekend. Congratulations, Ryan. He's probably smoking a stogie on his porch right now while he feeds his kid a bottle.

[Jared]

Yep, that's just. That's the best way to parent just.

[Tyler]

Smoking a cigar right in his newborn's face.

[Jared]

Yeah, you gotta acclimate the kid early.

[Tyler]

So. Yeah. Congratulations, Ryan. Ryan had a boy.

[Jared]

Another boy. Six for six on this podcast for boys.

[Tyler]

That's true. We just. We. We just do boys. Wait, what?

[Jared]

Whoa, wait, what?

[Tyler]

We make them were doing the mad, like, even past employees, pretty much anyone who's ever come through you beta from when they come to you beta and afterwards, they've only had boys. I think we're up to, like, what, 10 to 12 boys?

[Jared]

Yeah, I think that's the exact number.

[Tyler]

So you guys want to have boy just come get a job here.

[Ryan]

You just got to walk through the door.

[Tyler]

We'll get it done. Yeah.

[Jared]

12. 12 boys.

[Tyler]

12 boys have been birthed after someone has worked here.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

No girls.

[Ryan]

It's.

[Jared]

There's something in the water, and I would actually start to believe it a little bit if we didn't move offices twice in those years.

[Tyler]

I don't know what it is. Yeah, it's just because we got such a locker room feel here. Yeah. Just the boys hanging out. So congratulations, Ryan. So, Ryan, the clock started. Also, classic Ryan gets a couple extra days, you know, having his kid on a Saturday.

[Jared]

Smart man. He told Meg to hold it, so.

[Tyler]

He better be in the office. So today's Monday. Two weeks from now, 8am you better be in the office or he's fired.

[Ryan]

He's fired.

[Tyler]

Good luck supporting the new kid with no salary. Ryan.

[Ryan]

Rules are rules. He signed the handbook.

[Tyler]

Yes, he did sign the handbook.

[Jared]

And we're not going to tell him either. He's got to listen to the podcast and know for sure when he needs to be back.

[Ryan]

You should already know. It's a bad book.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So next week we should do a segment that either we couldn't do because we have Ryan, you know, I don't know what that equals, you know, or we should just shit on all the stuff Ryan loves.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

You know, we do an anti ufc podcast.

[Tyler]

Anti UFC, anti amateur baseball. Anti D3 baseball. You know, just all how to be a safe driver. Yeah. How to avoid light poles.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Just do an anti Ryan podcast next week.

[Jared]

Just how to be calm.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

How to, how to think something and then not say it.

[Ryan]

Gotta get a song out of your head.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

How to just not yell strange noises into the ether, you know?

[Jared]

Yep.

[Ryan]

I like that idea.

[Tyler]

Yeah. The anti Ryan podcast next week. We're so nice.

[Jared]

Yeah. Guys, hope you, hope you enjoy your time with your new baby, Ryan.

[Tyler]

Yeah, he's got the new house, the new baby. Everything's coming up sheely.

[Jared]

Real spring vibes for. For Ryan. New beginnings all around.

[Ryan]

How tough is paternity leave?

[Jared]

Tough.

[Tyler]

I haven't had a real paternity leave because my kid was in the NICU for the two weeks I would have been gone on paternity leave. So Ryan or Tyler would know me.

[Jared]

I mean it's, it's not exactly tough. It's just like nice to bond with the baby.

[Tyler]

Sure.

[Ryan]

I guess the wrong word.

[Jared]

And mom gets like for us like my older two kids just still went to daycare and so mom got a nice break where I got to hang out with the new baby and.

[Ryan]

Gotcha.

[Jared]

It's no harder than just having one kid. Yeah. I just had my shirt off for two weeks doing skin to skin.

[Tyler]

Skin to skin contact. All you did.

[Jared]

Yeah. Yeah. So I wouldn't say it's tough. I think it's just, it's just really nice.

[Tyler]

Gotcha.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's good.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I, I like, you know, if my kid was in the Nikki for two weeks it would have been nice because we had him in, in June. So like just to go to the lake for two full weeks maybe or something.

[Jared]

Hang out with your baby.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah. Kind of the vibe.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

I actually went to lake this weekend to do some work, get ready for the season. So we have a screened in porch on our lake cabin and over the winter just a lot of dirt and stuff gets in there and we usually throw a rug down. So before we threw the rug outdoor rug down, we needed to sweep it out and so I go grab the broom, get the little like. Yeah. What's the, what's the hand room that like you used to get like the corners? What is that even? Does it have a name?

[Jared]

I don't know.

[Tyler]

It's just like a kitchen broom essentially that, that's kind of like pointed at the end. You kind of get in the corner. So we got two brooms and as I was getting the other broom an was using the like kitchen broom and getting the corners and stuff and I walked in and I It's. I had flashbacks to cleaning the garage with my dad, but not what you think. I now know what my dad felt.

[Jared]

Oh.

[Tyler]

When I would sweep and half ass the job.

[Jared]

You did you see red?

[Tyler]

Well, it was just like, she's sweeping. And then like, you could tell her body language was. Is like, got that portion of the patio swept. And I'm looking at it and there's just dust streaks there. That's like, whatever. And I'm like, here, give me that. Let me show you how to do this. And you know, whatever. And then we're at dinner with her mom for Mother's Day afterwards, and I was like, I had to teach Ann how to sweep today. She was like, really? Are you serious? But just flashbacks to my dad.

[Jared]

Happy Mother's Day. An. Sweep. Sweep the thing.

[Tyler]

You know, I. Well, she wanted to, but, you know, she didn't know the technique. When you use the big push broom, you push it and then you bang it on the ground a few times to get the extra dirt off and then you go and do it again. She didn't know that I had to show her how to do that.

[Jared]

You got to get into a rhythm. Just. Yep.

[Ryan]

And so is there a chance she weaponized your incompetence?

[Jared]

Oh, this? Absolutely, Jared.

[Tyler]

She may have taken a page out of my book. Yeah.

[Jared]

This is you putting laundry detergent in the dishwasher.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I can't sweep. I don't know how to do it.

[Tyler]

And so we bought the cabin from an older. So it's. It was built in the 90s and on the outside, in the screened in porch, obviously it's just outside, but it's still like a room. And they put like wood around the bottom of the wall in there. Well, there's no drain in the patio, so it like, I think it just runs away from the house, like underneath the wall and just like into the yard. Right. Well, all of the, like, wood is now warping and like rotting. So then I'm in the corner with the broom and I'm like sweeping. But because the like, wood behind it is deteriorating, it just keeps it loose, spawning more stuff. And at some point I just had to be like, if I keep sweeping, it's. I'm gonna actually make it dirtier.

[Ryan]

The whole house is gonna come down.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I was like, I just have to stop in this corner, I think just.

[Jared]

Gonna shop vac underneath there. Get all the rotted out.

[Tyler]

Yeah. So, Jared, add that to my list of something I gotta figure out with that.

[Ryan]

The rotting wood.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I got to stay in the bench, I got to figure out the rotting wood.

[Ryan]

It's two things.

[Jared]

The list is growing.

[Tyler]

It's. It's getting to be a lot. Okay. And at some point I'm going to end up throwing in the towel. I think. You know, it's not even worth it. Let the whole house fall down.

[Ryan]

Summer's almost over anyway.

[Tyler]

I mean, we're, we're sneaking up on Memorial Day weekend. Like summer's basically over at this point.

[Ryan]

So Horn's almost de.

[Tyler]

I gotta, I think we gotta play for 20, 26.

[Ryan]

Nice long punt.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Because then I'm like, all right, here's what we could do. We could like tile it out here. It'd be kind of cool. And then I can run the tile up underneath all the screens and like the window area, whatever. And so then we're talking to someone who tiles and they're like, yeah, I want to do that. Because then the tile is just going to crack over the winter and it's going to be this and that. And then I'm thinking, if we tile it all the way up, how's the water going to get out? Because there's no drain. And basically I went on this half hour thing of like, what, what I can do to fix the situation. Just concluded that, yeah, let's not do anything.

[Jared]

You could do like some plastic. Like what is that?

[Tyler]

That plastic sounds good. Usually plastic usually looks good.

[Jared]

No, it's like they have like the basically fake rubber looking ass wood that you can put around the bottom instead.

[Tyler]

Yeah, something like that.

[Jared]

I don't know what the.

[Tyler]

I don't know.

[Jared]

Not vinyl. That'll get shitty.

[Tyler]

But you know what, this is classic. Anyone who has a lake cabin or has been to lake, they always just say, well, it's the lake.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's supposed to be dirty.

[Tyler]

It's supposed to be dirty. It's supposed to look a little raggedy.

[Ryan]

It's charming.

[Tyler]

It's the lake.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So that's why I kind of concluded. But yeah, it's. So we, we were gonna do sweep the patio together and it just ended up me sweeping and, and showing Anne how to do it. All right, guys, prize picks, time of the week. You guys feeling good this week?

[Jared]

I feel great. My pick was the only one that hit that last week.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I know, I saw that. Well, guys, right now if you sign up on prize picks with code ybr, you can get fifty dollars instantly when you play your first five dollar lineup. You don't need to win your lineup to receive the fifty Dollar bonus. It's just guaranteed. Just like that.

[Jared]

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

[Tyler]

Tyler, you're feeling good after last week?

[Jared]

I do feel good. I feel really good.

[Tyler]

Mine was close. I think I was like one point away or something like that. But this is our week.

[Jared]

This is every week's our week.

[Tyler]

Ryan's gone, but he even's got a pick for us. So what's Ryan's pick?

[Ryan]

Jared Nazreed. More than 11 and a half points. Assess.

[Tyler]

Okay. Nas Reed's known for being clutch. They this is a closeout game form coming up. Correct. What do you got, Jared?

[Ryan]

I got Mitchell Robinson. Less than four and a half points.

[Tyler]

Poor Mitchell. Nah, I just have no faith in him.

[Ryan]

Historically bad at free throws.

[Tyler]

He just can't make them.

[Ryan]

Can't make. And they do a hack a shack on him too. So.

[Tyler]

Yeah, hack a shack. He was like Shaq sweating at the free throw line. Yeah. I got Jaden McDaniels, more than seven and a half rebounds and assists.

[Jared]

I like it. And Tyler Dante Divincenzo, more than an 11 and a half points and assists.

[Tyler]

Okay, so there we go, guys. If you want to roll with us, hit that lineup. If you got any hot streaks, let us know. And also send us any slips that you got that you just crushed.

[Jared]

Yeah. Slip.

[Tyler]

Love to see it.

[Jared]

Send us your slip picks.

[Tyler]

Send slip picks.

[Jared]

Yep. Please.

[Tyler]

Good talk. So, guys, remember to use code ybr50dollars on your first five dollar lineup. Good luck. And I think the wolves are gonna close it out.

[Jared]

I hope so. It's fun. We had Mother's Day brunch out at our lake as well. It's a whole family was there and we just have a camper and we're in the middle of Mother's Day brunch. Like, everybody's eating and grandpa just decides that that's the perfect time to start weed whacking. I literally. Because you can't hear that goods anyway. So I just yell like, hey, you think this is maybe not the best time to be doing this?

[Tyler]

Dad's literally will be like, so you guys are having a nice time right now. You're really enjoying the peace and quiet. Sweet. I'm gonna mow the lawn.

[Jared]

Yeah. It was unbelievable. I was like, what are you doing?

[Tyler]

So now would be a bad time for me to weed whack. Cool.

[Jared]

He got it done.

[Tyler]

It never fails.

[Jared]

No, I. I couldn't believe he was.

[Tyler]

It's because he got out there and he had forgotten that he was going to do that. And then he couldn't think about anything else until that got done.

[Jared]

Well, 100.

[Tyler]

It's like when my child, he'll be playing with something, and then I pull out a can, any can of some sort. He now can't think about anything else other than getting his hands on the can that's in my hand.

[Jared]

That's how mine is with hats. Needs to have the hat.

[Tyler]

Just. He could be having the time of his life. And he hears and he's just like, where was that? Give it to me. And then he, like, tries to grab the top, you know, and it's like, sharp. And you're like, get your hand out of there.

[Jared]

Chip off the old block.

[Tyler]

So now I just let him, like, suck on the side of the can. Smart.

[Jared]

Just give him a full one. You can't cut his hand if it's not open once in a while.

[Tyler]

I'll do that. But yeah, that's how dads are with any project.

[Jared]

Yeah. Well, I think he. He showed up and he had to help get everything ready for brunch. And he was probably just staring at the untrimmed lawn and he wanted to.

[Tyler]

Do it, but your grandma's probably like, we got to do these other things first. That can wait.

[Jared]

Yep. And the second the food was all done, he was free from his duties, helping set up. And he's like, I got a weed whack now.

[Tyler]

Did he had mow the lawn before?

[Jared]

Yeah, he had mowed the lawn, but.

[Tyler]

It was huge mistake. Got a weed whack before you mow the lawn so that you can get all the clippings.

[Jared]

No, I. I'm. I'm with that.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I think a weed whack after.

[Jared]

No, I like. I like weed whacking before.

[Tyler]

I think you got a weed whack.

[Jared]

Beforehand because then you know exactly what you need to get with the mower too.

[Ryan]

Oh, I'm always. I've always weed whacked after. I always felt like that was better.

[Jared]

There. There are positives to both, but I.

[Tyler]

What's the positive to mo. To weed whacking after?

[Jared]

Because then, you know, like. So let's say you don't weed whack quite enough around a tree. If you do it after, you know you exactly what you have to get. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you're right. Yeah, I just like. Because there's always like, clip like the. There's like a line of, like, fresh clippings around everything. Then from the thing where you can suck it up, blow it around with.

[Jared]

The more basically, if you're not Begging. Do it after. Weed whack after. If you are begging, weed whack first.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

There we go. I mean, and Tyler knows this stuff because Tyler, he started a lawn mowing business in college, and then he exited out of that.

[Jared]

Yes.

[Ryan]

Retired from it.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

He sold the business.

[Jared]

Yeah. I retired from the lawn mowing game. I no longer get paid for my services.

[Tyler]

I like to pride myself on being a business guy. And you sold more businesses than I have, Tyler. So who's real. Who's the real entrepreneur in this room?

[Jared]

I think. I think it's me, Mr. Long Guy. I also. I just got a new. Not new, new to me. Zero turn, and I'm kind of right back in the game.

[Tyler]

Are you?

[Jared]

I got on the horse and I was like, this feels good.

[Tyler]

Is your. I imagine that when you get on that thing, your wife just looks out of the. Of the living room window and just goes, he's mowing the.

[Jared]

Out of that. I hope so.

[Tyler]

And then. And then your kid looks out the window and he's like. He's mowing the frick out of that. And then your baby just goes. Which means he's mowing the. Out of that line.

[Jared]

I hope that's exactly what happened.

[Tyler]

I imagine the first time you use the zero turn that you now have baby number four on the way.

[Jared]

There's a chance.

[Ryan]

But.

[Jared]

Yeah. Jared, didn't you have a. You just mowed this weekend for the first time at your new place, right?

[Ryan]

My lawn is about 15 yards wide, 15 yards long or whatever.

[Tyler]

Yeah. About 45ft. Ish.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

There you go.

[Tyler]

It's a 45 by 45 square.

[Ryan]

Yeah. To mow it took me three hours to mow it. So we got this push mower from my wife's aunt, and I get it, started mowing. I heard a terrible noise. I thought I got a rock, but apparently what happened was, is that the lawnmower handlebars are, like, too far down, so the lawnmower blade was hitting the handles underneath. It was a terrible sound. Terrible sound. So I got out of that, figured that out. I had to hammer one of the handlebars back up with WD40 and everything. That took me, like an hour to do. Finally got to work it again. I started motor for about five more minutes. Mower dies. I'm like, oh, it's out of gas. Yeah. And I look in there, and it looks like there was gas in there. And I'm like, what the. It's not running. It's not running. I keep, like, trying to start and everything. I go inside, like watch like 10 YouTube videos on like, what's wrong with my mower? Like, check the carburetor, the spark plug and everything. And then my dad called me. He's like, just drain the gas and put new gas in it. Like, okay, I'll drain the gas. I drained the gas. Only like two drops came out. So I was out of gas this entire time. All I had to do was put gas on it. So it took me like two extra hours of all the damn water.

[Tyler]

Oh, my God. You're like, I should have just mowed this with the scissors at this point.

[Ryan]

There was one point I was so desperate to get this because my grass is pretty high. I was like, I might have to weed whack this whole thing. I just have electric weed whacker. So it's self inflicted error.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I mean, you missed the apartment now, Jared.

[Ryan]

Much easier, much easier.

[Tyler]

But this is the stuff. Because now you'll never make those mistakes again. You know what I mean? Every time you go up to a motor, you're check the gas and do all those things. And that's the beauty of homeownership, is hopefully you only have to make all those mistakes once. Just get it out of the way right away.

[Ryan]

Do it again. Yeah. What was weird is like the gas. It looks like there's gas in it. And I put my finger in there and it. I don't know. Obviously it wasn't.

[Tyler]

Tasted like gas.

[Ryan]

It tasted kind of good.

[Jared]

That's gas.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Smelled good.

[Jared]

It's just a classic example of the simplest solution is usually the right one.

[Ryan]

Exactly.

[Tyler]

Jake probably has some law about that.

[Ryan]

Occam's razor.

[Tyler]

Razor?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

It's what?

[Jared]

Yeah, you know he was related to Occam.

[Tyler]

Really?

[Jared]

No.

[Ryan]

Oh, and I. I told my wife this could be my toughest mode of the year. And I got it done. So.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

It only took three hours.

[Tyler]

Well, and God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. You showed out that day.

[Ryan]

You know, it was terrible. It hot yesterday too.

[Tyler]

And it was hot.

[Jared]

Hot and windy. And grass is sticking to you. You're sitting on the ground just pissed off.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Do you spaz a little bit?

[Ryan]

A little bit, yeah. There was one moment I just. I watched like 10 YouTube videos and I just stared at my lawn for like a minute. You don't know what to do next.

[Jared]

What do I do? You son of a. Me versus you.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

It's like, I gotta get this done.

[Tyler]

How close are you? Just spazzing on the mower.

[Ryan]

Well, what helped was the hammer and the WD40 on the handlebar. That took out a lot of aggression.

[Tyler]

Correct. It did spaz on it essentially.

[Ryan]

And it worked.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I, I can't tell you guys enough how much, how well spazzing on things works in terms of fixing it.

[Ryan]

Couldn't believe it. See, I just hammered that.

[Tyler]

I mean when I was working concrete, the amount of times we'd be trying to fix something and we all look at each other and like, I think it's just time just to spaz on.

[Jared]

It and then it would just start beating the. Out of. I don't even know what tool is. Like a saw or something.

[Tyler]

Yeah, or even to like move. Cuz we, you know, to square up a house you'd have to like move whole walls. And like you'd be like you. Because you'll start with like your feet up on the bank and your back on the wall and then try and do it and it isn't moving. Eventually you just end up like donkey kicking it and like running and hitting it. Take a sledgehammer and put a board there and hit it with that. Yeah, this just feels good. So you're gonna be a bagger or a mulcher?

[Ryan]

Mulcher for now. I gotta get my feet underneath me. Then we can bag it.

[Tyler]

Yeah, there you go.

[Ryan]

I need to get a couple good more mows in and then I can upgrade to a bag. So.

[Jared]

Yeah, I've started a mulch pile.

[Tyler]

Have you? So you're bagging it and then.

[Jared]

Yeah, well, I don't have a bagger, so I've been strategically mowing it into a pile.

[Tyler]

So you just start in the edge and just go in a circle.

[Jared]

Big ass circle. And I rake it all up into a pile and it's sitting woods, the compost for the garden.

[Tyler]

Nice.

[Ryan]

You could get horses.

[Jared]

I could, but I don't want chickens. So I really don't want horses.

[Ryan]

Or is just a big chicken.

[Tyler]

That's all it is.

[Jared]

That's even worse. But I had, I had, I spaz a little bit this weekend too. My washing machine broke.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's Spaz of the week is the new segment we just decided. Yeah, I spazzed on Ann about how she sweeps you spaz in your mower and now what did you spaz on?

[Jared]

I spaz on my washing machine. So my washing machine is older. My old one is older than all of us in this room. It's an old Maytag that has zero buttons. Just the dial that makes the noise that you turn.

[Tyler]

That's what we had growing up. So it is old.

[Jared]

So bad boy wouldn't drain. It would get all the way to the spin cycle and then just turn off and then buzz at us non stop. So I.

[Tyler]

So, like, the washer was just full of water.

[Jared]

Completely full of water.

[Tyler]

So what did you do?

[Jared]

So I went. I. I went to Old Reliable right away, went to YouTube. And that seemed like the most likely culprit is there was a sock stuck in the pump or something. So I get under the hood of my washing machine and I watch this guy execute it perfectly. So I've got clamps to pinch off the hose so that when I pull it off the plug, water doesn't spray everywhere. I got everything ready to go, and I do it all textbook pump, brand new. Whoever had, the old owner of this house had already replaced the pump. The pump was perfectly fine. There's nothing in it. And I've completely deconstructed my. My washer at this point. So then I'm like, all right, that's not the problem. I can't figure out the problem by Googling. So then I go to old trusty AI and we're hashing this out, and they give me a list of like 12 tests. And I'm running through the tests. None of them are giving me the answer of why this thing won't work until the very end. It's like, well, your circuits could just be fried. And I was like, well, then it wouldn't turn on right. And it turns out it just. It just died. AI can't figure it out. The Internet. Can't figure it out.

[Tyler]

Just died from natural causes.

[Jared]

It died of natural causes.

[Tyler]

Finally gave up, you know, and it.

[Jared]

Went right when I finally was like, well, now I gotta get a new one. My clamp slipped off the goddamn hose because it was still a little wet down there.

[Tyler]

Flooded your basement.

[Jared]

And I don't have a basement drain. And so I just got blasted in the face with dirty laundry water. And I was just like. And I'm sure my.

[Tyler]

If you were. If there was a hot chick in your fam, a famous hot chick, there'd be a lot of guys on the Internet willing to drink that dirty laundry.

[Jared]

Yeah, well, my wife probably thought I dropped the water on me because I put on a clinic of cussing. I was very angry. I finally got it stopped. And then my fix was I didn't have a hose. Like, I had a garden hose, but I don't have a piece of hose small enough to put on this Thing. So I went outside, got a tote, and then I found an old vacuum cleaner that the previous owner had left. And I deconstructed the hose off of that, put it on the pump, and ran it into the tote. So that's how I ended up getting the water out of there.

[Tyler]

Smart.

[Jared]

But I was ready to throw that washer across the room, soaking. Well, I'm sitting in a puddle of used water.

[Tyler]

I mean, I think that that's the worst part. It's just like you're not only mad, but you're also wet. That's just. It's just insult to injury.

[Jared]

Yep. Oh, and yeah. Top it off. So I. I did think I fixed it the first time. And so then we did it again. So we put. We ran it to see if I fixed it, and it didn't fix it. So I did this twice. This whole thing twice?

[Ryan]

Fuck yeah.

[Jared]

But we got a new one off. A new one off. Facebook Marketplace. That's not new. So we'll see.

[Tyler]

Does it work?

[Jared]

We'll find out.

[Tyler]

Oh, you haven't got it yet?

[Jared]

I got it and I installed it last night. And I was like, honey, let's. Can we just save it till tomorrow to test it? I want to just kind of. I just want to kind of feel like the job's done right now. I don't. I don't want to find out if I'm staying up tonight and. And mopping the basement up.

[Tyler]

So Tyler today is just wearing whatever shirt was in the back of his closet because he doesn't have any laundry done.

[Jared]

Well, the shitty thing that the. The load of laundry that broke the washer essentially was our towels. So we didn't. We had like three towels to wipe up this mess.

[Ryan]

Oh, no.

[Jared]

Cuz all the towels were already.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

So I'm like cleaning it up with blank it.

[Tyler]

Did you guys do the twist technique to get all the water out of the towels?

[Jared]

Like ring them out?

[Tyler]

Yeah. Like you. Like one person holds it and the other person just keeps spinning it. You just keep going and going and going.

[Jared]

No, I actually. I also installed a clothesline this weekend.

[Tyler]

I mean. Yeah.

[Jared]

So he hung them up on the clothesline. Let them. They're drying out. Yeah. So I. I also spazzed at something.

[Ryan]

Well, next time your washer break, just put some swim trunks on.

[Jared]

Smart.

[Ryan]

So you don't get your clothes.

[Jared]

Smart.

[Tyler]

Yeah. She got a wetsuit for fixing the washer.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

What are you doing? Fixing the washer.

[Jared]

Then he just goes, no, I get the nose ones. I'm Fixing the washer.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You got clothesline now.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's. Luckily I don't have any washer and dryer issues yet until you do. I did have. I did have the. This is funny. The other week, actually, the washer wasn't working and man's like, I can't get it to do this and that. And I was like, well, maybe it's just the breaker, right? Like, she's like, well, the dryer works. So I'm like, okay, but the dryer's got like a different plug in. Like, it's one of those, like, heavy duty big boys. So I went in there, I was like, yeah, the washer is a regular plug in. Whatever. I was like. So then I. I knew that that was probably the issue. So I was like, man, I'm just gonna. She's. She's getting the shower. I was like, you shower. I'll get that thing fixed. So I go down the basement with a breaker and. Sure. That just said to flip the breaker or whatever. You know, hang out there for a couple extra minutes. See, like, I'm doing something. Go up there working great. And I walk in and I like, do kind of the, like, I gotta fix. And she's like, what'd you do? I'm like, like, don't worry about it.

[Jared]

You stick your hands underneath the dryer, get a little grease on your hands.

[Tyler]

Just grab a shop towel and just walk in. Going like this with my hands.

[Jared]

All good, honey.

[Tyler]

That's the best feeling in the world, though, that something's not working. And it's just the breaker.

[Jared]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

God. Feels great flipping that switch.

[Jared]

It's just such a huge sigh of relief too. Like, normally it's. You don't want that. But you look at the break, you're like, like, yeah, one's not. No, one's not flipped the right way.

[Ryan]

And it's satisfying when you flip it too, because, like, you did extra work.

[Jared]

Y.

[Tyler]

Also, I have this one breaker in my house. It's. It's like the outlets in the hallway upstairs and downstairs, I put them on the same one and it's constantly tripping. Is that because they just. There's something not wired correctly or why is just that one thing? And we don't ever use the outlets in the hallway, like, very rarely. Like, why does that trip?

[Jared]

You're asking the guy that thought a baseboard heater was a plug in. So my electrical skills are not the.

[Tyler]

Ones that any listeners got away. Is it just like something that they didn't hook up, right? Or what?

[Jared]

So my. Again, I already prefaced that this isn't my area of expertise. You have a newer house. It could be some sort of energy saving situation where it knows it's not being used so it just turns off lutely not tolerant. It could be.

[Tyler]

That would be so annoying.

[Jared]

But it just like it's saving you money.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but not really. He goes one month, 50 cents a month.

[Ryan]

That adds up an s and P500. You got five bucks for five years.

[Tyler]

No, that's not how it works. I have a dollar in seven years and $2 in 14 and then $4 in 21 years.

[Ryan]

My apologies.

[Tyler]

Jesus Christ. Between you two giving advice about these two topics. I don't know, some.

[Jared]

Will one patron pretend to be an electrician? Just tell me I'm right.

[Ryan]

Yeah. There you go.

[Jared]

Thanks, guys.

[Ryan]

Be like Joe the electrician.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

I gave advice on that one guy asking about if this might have been on Patreon about how to lose weight. You know, the one guy was like, well, actually, you know, not fasting until 2pm you don't have to do that. You just have to be in calorie deficit. And I was like, dude, I said that. I said, if you want to lose a lot of weight quickly, just do that. But if you don't want to do that, just eat less calories is what I said. So whoever comments that just wanted to clear the air, get off my ass. I'm an exercise scientist. I know what I'm talking about. It was for his specific scenario. He wanted to lose some weight fast. The best way to do that is not eat. Okay. Jesus.

[Ryan]

Yeah. There's more than one way to skin a cat.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Type of thing.

[Tyler]

Exactly.

[Jared]

And number one way to lose weight is to starve yourself, essentially.

[Tyler]

Yeah. It's just, it's. It's marketed as fasting, Tyler.

[Jared]

Yes.

[Tyler]

Okay. That's all it is.

[Ryan]

That's how you brand it.

[Tyler]

In Fargo, they have the Parade of Homes.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

You guys know what I'm talking about.

[Jared]

Yeah. So I know what it is. I've never done it.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I don't know if. I don't know if other cities do it or they call it something else, but essentially all the home builders build a home builder. They then make it an open house that people can go, there's like 30 houses on the Parade of Homes. You can go and see cool houses and all of that. Right. It's a marketing tool for the home builders in Fargo. Well, there was two homes in my neighborhood on the Parade of Homes this year. And so. And let's just, like, just walk. Let's go for a walk. Just walk the rooms. Check them out.

[Ryan]

Check it out.

[Tyler]

And it's so funny that it doesn't matter what house it is. You go walk through an open house at a new house, and the whole time you're just looking for dumb that they did. You know, you walk in immediately. Like, I would have put. I would have pushed this wall out here and made this living room bigger because they're gonna regret that. You know, they made the dining room big. That's wasted square footage if I've ever seen it. You know, maybe they should have spent less money on the outside of the house and more. Put more money into this kitchen, because this is where you spend the most time.

[Jared]

You know, for. For me, I've never done the PR of homes, but, like, even house, like, house hunting and places to live, like, I was always the eternal optimist. Like, I found everything good about a house until I decided I didn't want it. And then it was like, oh, yeah, you're right. Look at this thing here.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's like a. But it's like a girl you're dating, and then all of a sudden you're like, I don't know if I'm feeling it. And then you just start noticing all the bad stuff she does.

[Jared]

So, yeah, there's like, all the annoying.

[Tyler]

Things she says just hit you in the face.

[Jared]

So, like, I would go in and. And my wife would be like, oh, this. This part right here isn't great. I'm like, but we could do this with it, and it's awesome. And then by the time I maybe it's too overpriced and like, yeah, you're right. That. That. That archway there is really stupid.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And it's like always funny because, like, a lot of the stuff you point out about this house, you also have that issue at your house.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You know, it's like, wait. Pot calling the kettle black for sure. What are we doing?

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

I. I had an all timeline. You know, we walk in this one house and I just. After we got out, we're walking out and I was just looked at and I go, it's just the wrong house layout for this lot. And I was right. Okay. I wouldn't have done that layout on that specific lot. But that's just me, you know, no backyard. There's a weird garage set up. I just was, hey, calling a spade a spade.

[Jared]

Calling a lot. A lot.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I just thought that was Funny because it's like you've seen the videos of people doing that when you, when you're boating around on the lake.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

And seeing these like four million dollar homes and you're like, yeah, but I just. Do you really need that much space? You know, I don't really like the look of that one. It's almost too big.

[Ryan]

I put the basketball hoop in the front yard.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

There's literally like a seven dollar property on the lake. We have the camper on. And the last time I kayaked by it, I'm like, I'm not even in a real boat.

[Tyler]

You don't even have a motor.

[Jared]

Yeah, I kayak, but I'm like, that dock lift is just obnoxious.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Just like. Well, Tyler, you're in a campground owned kayak as you paddle by from your campground.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And it's like, it's like, you know, it's a cool house, but I wouldn't want to be on that hill, go up and down those stairs to the lake. You couldn't pay me.

[Ryan]

You gotta clean all those windows.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

A lot of trees. That's gonna be a lot of sticks for them to pick up before they mow.

[Ryan]

You have that small of a swimming pool by your lake.

[Tyler]

It doesn't even have a good view.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So yeah, that was my. I went to the parade of homes. It's an interesting deal.

[Jared]

What's the point of that? Is it to sell those houses or is it to be one to sell.

[Tyler]

The houses and also for like the builders. Like you then can see a builder's style.

[Jared]

Gotcha.

[Tyler]

Their craftsmanship are some of them like.

[Jared]

To go with like the prefab type deals where you'll basically order a house. You're like, I want this model.

[Tyler]

Yeah. They usually, if you want to make money in building houses, you essentially have like five main floor plans you just cycle through because then the people that are building it know how to do it efficiently. Then the design process is slower or faster, all that stuff. Now the problem with that is that you then end up having every home in that city just looking all the.

[Jared]

Same, every fifth house.

[Tyler]

But it's like, it's kind of a double edged thing, right. It's like everything looks cookie cutter, but it's like also one of the easiest. Like the best way to make money is building houses is by doing the same plan over and over again really.

[Jared]

Fast at it and for the buyer too. It makes them affordable.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it makes it more affordable. Unless you want to add something on then they just jack up the price. Yeah, it's a whole thing.

[Jared]

You would get like two free customizations.

[Tyler]

I don't know. I remember when we were building our house, we kind of started talking to one of those cookie cutter guys and I was like, well, what, you know, like, can we just like make this room two feet? Just push this wall out two feet. And they're like, ah, that's gonna be, you know, 25, 000.

[Jared]

Jesus.

[Tyler]

Jesus Christ.

[Jared]

I'm telling you, this just isn't the right layout for our lot.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah. Just not the right layout for a lot. And then you just kind of want to be like, okay, I want you to pretend like this, that that's just. You almost try to convince them. Like, I think you should just like make like you should make it 2ft wider as your base plan. I mean, it just doesn't make sense the way you have it.

[Jared]

Try to tweak their ent, just gaslight.

[Tyler]

Them into thinking that their plan is wrong and that I'm not just trying to save a buck, you know, 25 GS. But yeah, it's like it sucks for the, for every house looks the same. But also it's great for the builder because then they can make money and whatever. It's so funny too. When I was working concrete, we would get a custom home that we would have to do the basement for. And nothing would piss off my co workers more than an architect who thinks that he is someone. Because then you'd have like a, you know, like a, like a 14 inch jog in a, in like a little curve. 14 inches. That would be a pain in the ass because our forms don't work that way or whatever. Or it'd be like a 30 degree angle, you know, wall instead of a 45 or a 90 degree. And it would. The amount of spazzing that would happen as soon as we had to do anything that wasn't just a box. Hammer's thrown. You know, architect, they think they're hot.

[Ryan]

You know, it's just the most minor thing.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's like, you know, if you, if you were positive about it, you'd be like, oh, it's kind of like fun to work on a different project than just doing a box. No, but to those guys, no, that was, I am here to do a box and if I have to do anything else, it's Armageddon.

[Jared]

So that's how we were with H Vac guys. If they put a unit somewhere on the roof that wasn't on the plans. We're like, yeah, we gotta change our grade. And we gotta put different insulation here. You get this whole. Ruins the whole roof.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

It's just like. We just want to put material to make it watertight and bounce.

[Ryan]

And then the H VAC guys probably, like, they've gotta. They want this unit here instead of over here.

[Tyler]

Yeah. It doesn't go off the chain line. Right. The architects, like, the homeowner, wants this 26 degree angle in their house. I can't do anything about it.

[Ryan]

Runs downhill.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

It's everybody's fault but your own.

[Tyler]

100. That. That. That is construction. If you had to sum it up in one sentence, it's that everyone sucks but us. This is essentially the construction motto.

[Jared]

What do you think the construction world would be like if we're all just, like, understanding with each other?

[Tyler]

Yeah. If they, like, had good communication skills.

[Jared]

Right.

[Tyler]

If construction had good communication skills and a positive attitude. Like, do you think we are the Jetsons?

[Jared]

Yeah. We colonize Mars.

[Ryan]

By now, Rome would be built in one day.

[Jared]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. The only reason why Rome wasn't buil days because construction workers were working.

[Jared]

Yeah. Because the masons and the blacksmiths couldn't get on the same page in Rome.

[Tyler]

Communication silos. They were all hung over and they just had a piss poor attitude about it. I gotta build another, you know, marble column. This is horseshit.

[Jared]

I can't do it till the goddamn aquaduck guys finish around me.

[Tyler]

Don't even get me started. What was wrong with what we had before? Now they want to install these new things called a sewer system in this city.

[Jared]

What's wrong with the damn chamber pots? Yeah, you in the pot, you throw it out.

[Tyler]

God damn it.

[Jared]

And it doesn't get in my. In my way.

[Tyler]

And those sewer guys never show up on time.

[Ryan]

They do work.

[Jared]

In that time. Let's get the slaves in here to.

[Tyler]

Finish it up at that time.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Oh, man. So, yeah, I'm glad you guys got a good spaz this weekend.

[Jared]

Felt good. Therapeutic. Now that it's. The dust is. Well, we'll see if it's settled after Becca tests it today.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. You told her to wait till you got home?

[Jared]

Well, I told her to do it when I'm not home, so I can't immediately get pissed off at it.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but what if it just starts spewing water?

[Jared]

I showed her where to turn the water off. Off.

[Tyler]

There you go.

[Jared]

So nice. Yep.

[Ryan]

I think the heat got all. Got to all of us in a different way.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

First. First Huge heat of the year.

[Ryan]

Everyone's on edge on the first heat of the year.

[Tyler]

My brother, when we were working concrete, it was like we would show up to the job site and everyone. You'd be like, it's gonna be a hot one today. And they're like, yeah, Mason's gonna be crabby all day. My older brother just hates the heat. Just no ability to be in a good mood if it's hot out. I don't know what it was is.

[Ryan]

The heat, not the humidity.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And then you're just praying he remembered to put deodorant on that day. Otherwise you'd be just getting whiffs of hamburger pits in your face.

[Ryan]

Crabby and stinky.

[Tyler]

Yeah. That doesn't make him sound good, does it? He's a good guy. He's usually pretty happy, except for when it gets to be, like, 82.

[Jared]

Yeah, he's a good guy. Sub 75 degrees. Other than that, though, he kind of sucks.

[Ryan]

Greater on Christmas.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Loves winter. Oh, well, should we take a break, boys?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Guys, before we get on with the rest of the episode, I gotta remind you that we got merchandise over at. Oh, you bet you dot com. Tyler and I are wearing the boys are buzzing duo right now. He's got the black hat. I got the gray and white white trucker hat on. We got all sorts of stuff over there. And also, it would make Ryan happy if, while he's on paternity leave, one, you guys order a bunch of stuff and he doesn't have to fulfill it. He doesn't have to. You know, we had someone else to do that in the office. Right. And two, next week, if you want to order some stuff, it would be awesome if you had a bunch of work to come back to.

[Jared]

Yeah, I was just gonna say, I. We can just not fulfill it until he comes back. Just have a disclaimer on there. Be like, hey, sorry, things are backed up.

[Ryan]

We're trying to prank Ryan.

[Tyler]

Ryan's out of town.

[Jared]

We're just trying to really mess with him. So please wait for your package.

[Ryan]

We do the out of town Ryan sale.

[Tyler]

We should. The last. The last weekend he's on paternity leave. We'll have a paternity package sale and just sling it. So when he comes back on that Monday, he's just over his eyeballs.

[Jared]

I think he would love it.

[Tyler]

I know. That's the worst part.

[Jared]

It's a problem. We. We could just. This is what would actually bug him. If we just crushed it and he comes into nothing in the Queue.

[Tyler]

Yeah, he would feel weird.

[Jared]

And we absolutely do. We just dominate it while he's gone.

[Tyler]

He'd be like, well, he'd have so much pent up energy and no release.

[Jared]

Yes.

[Tyler]

So who knows where that energy would go?

[Jared]

I kind of want to find out. I guess I. I got to get on my merch A game the next two weeks.

[Tyler]

So, guys, if you wanna, I don't know, just buy a bunch of stuff. So Ryan's either Maddie's missing out or mad that he's got a shitload of work when he gets back. Go to oh, you betcha.com and check it out. And you can also go check out our [e-mail] you bet you radio or search us on the Patreon app. We have an extra episode every week on there, plus some special events we do, plus the water cooler talk, which I think is kind of the most fun part about it.

[Ryan]

We got the Friday night threads now too.

[Jared]

Yeah, dude, I like the Friday night threads a lot.

[Tyler]

I am in the dark.

[Jared]

So Jared puts out a post every Friday night. It's like, what are you up to? And then we just get hundreds of responses to seeing what the patients are up to. And there's some. Our patrons are funny as. Dude, they're funnier than us.

[Tyler]

I agree, I agree. Collectively, the patrons are just. You just can't, can't. You can't beat that type of humor. No, that's what you get on the water cooler talk. I'm sure there's gonna be some water cooler talk about Ryan. And whatever you guys do, don't go in there and guess what his baby's name is. Don't go to the water cooler talk. Don't try and be funny. Don't. This is a special moment for Ryan. Don't ruin it with saying what he should name his baby. Okay, okay. So just don't do that.

[Ryan]

Just don't do it.

[Tyler]

I was watching, I don't know, Instagram or Tik Tok over the weekend. You know what is the most insufferable part of the Internet? Is the. There's like this group of people that like show you techniques on how to move and operate the world to make yourself either seem fancier or more powerful and all this other stuff. Enough. I came across a video of a guy showing us how to enter a room.

[Ryan]

Was it like a British dude? Yeah, yeah, I saw that too.

[Tyler]

It just was like, what? Who cares? If that's what you're worried about in life, you've lost the plot. You are screwed. He.

[Jared]

He.

[Tyler]

He's like, most people will walk into a room like this, and he walks in, then turns his back to the room and shuts the door and then turns around.

[Jared]

That's not what we do do.

[Tyler]

First of all, how do you do it?

[Jared]

I just shut the door. I don't turn around to do it.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I mean, I know what he was saying anyways, but he's basically like, if you turn around, then all the attention goes off of you, and you are shutting yourself off the room. So what you need to do, you need to come into the room, step to the side, continue to face the room, and shut the door behind you. And I was just like, I. That makes me want to leave the room that you're thinking about that. If. If you are so that uncharismatic and. Or like, if this is what you need to do to get ahead in life, I don't think you should be even.

[Jared]

You're pretty far behind.

[Tyler]

You're behind. Yeah, I just. I don't know. I just saw it. I was like, this is so dumb.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Because people keep trying to, like, hack life and just, like, do these.

[Tyler]

Now we're hacking how we're closing the door.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's like.

[Tyler]

And also, what. Who's the target market on this? Most people on the Internet are never going to be in a scenario where how you enter the room is going to make or break a situation. Maybe. Maybe if you're like a world leader and you're trying to generate a powerful stance at all times for negotiation purposes, maybe. Maybe it works for that.

[Ryan]

Right?

[Tyler]

Who's. Who's. Who's actually going to need that?

[Jared]

I mean, job interview, maybe, but.

[Tyler]

Maybe.

[Jared]

But like, you conducted interviews. I've conducted interviews. I've never once paid a single ounce of it.

[Tyler]

Well, his argument is just subconscious, Tyler. It's not a. You're not thinking about it.

[Ryan]

That's how they brand it.

[Tyler]

But like, I remember, like, a year ago, like, there was the same kind of thing. There was this gal that would, like, show women how to be more proper. And it was like, don't sit. Drink your drink like this. Drink it a different way. And it's like, how do you care how much. How can you care that much about what other people are thinking of? Every moment you're doing that, you gotta act this way.

[Jared]

Narcissism.

[Tyler]

It's crazy.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So I. I don't know. I just. I saw this weekend. I just had to tell you guys about it because it just pissed me Off.

[Jared]

The problem with you telling us is now I'm gonna be thinking about helping the. I close the door every time I walk.

[Tyler]

Now I'm going to intentionally turn my back, just spite that guy.

[Jared]

I'm just going to be thinking about it, and it's. I'm going to be closing it so awkwardly because I'm going to be thinking about the motion instead of just doing it.

[Tyler]

I think the real power move that he missed is don't close the door.

[Jared]

Yeah. Leave it open.

[Tyler]

Just walk in and tell someone else to close it. That's the power move.

[Ryan]

Get a.

[Tyler]

Get a door.

[Ryan]

That's an Alpha.

[Tyler]

Yeah. If you were really powerful, you just have a butler following you around closing doors for you, that.

[Jared]

That would make me pay attention.

[Tyler]

You would. You walk into a room, and then someone else would go to close it. And if you're real powerful, you would say, the staff will get it.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And then you would ring a bell and they'd come close the door.

[Ryan]

Yeah. We don't close doors. We open that.

[Jared]

Thank you, Bernard.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I have an open door mindset about this scenario.

[Ryan]

So you could brand that. It would do. It would crush on Tick Tock. Just do the opposite of what that guy said.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Just.

[Tyler]

Just carbon copy, rip every piece of content. Doesn't just do the exact opposite. Spin zone to make it sound better than what he said.

[Ryan]

It would totally work.

[Tyler]

It would. Well, I found my new mission in life.

[Jared]

Ruin this guy's career.

[Tyler]

Just. Who's the market for that?

[Jared]

I. I don't know.

[Ryan]

I think it's secure.

[Tyler]

It's like. It's like people watching it are, like, on their couch eating Cheetos with their belly hanging out and their hands down their pants, and they're like, yeah, I should enter the room like that. That would probably further my situation.

[Jared]

I've been saying this thing, this for years. This is how you got to do it. I'm telling you.

[Tyler]

I have to send this to Kyle. He's totally gonna agree.

[Ryan]

Kyle's gonna love this one.

[Tyler]

All right, Jared, what do we got next?

[Ryan]

I'm gonna show you guys this video.

[Tyler]

Okay. We got a. We got a video.

[Ryan]

The title is from Cringe Tick Tocks, called Sigma Cringe.

[Jared]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan]

It's pretty funny.

[Jared]

He's gonna teach you how to walk through a door.

[Ryan]

Honestly, it's very similar. Here it is.

[Jared]

If this finger right here is longer than this finger, your testosterone level is high. If this finger is at the same level, that means your testosterone is very low.

[Tyler]

If it's shorter you probably squat to pee.

[Jared]

The average handshake of a man in the 1980s was 121 pounds. And the average handshake of a woman was only 9. 92 pounds. Today, the average handshake of a man is 93 pounds. And the average handshake of A woman is 109 pounds.

[Ryan]

That's it.

[Tyler]

I hate that guy.

[Jared]

I did immediately want to hold my hand up and test my fingers.

[Tyler]

Oh, I'm testosterone up. I think fingers longer than the index finger.

[Ryan]

Right.

[Jared]

Mine are the exact same length. I'm low t. We've, we've known this.

[Tyler]

What are you, Jared, you're the same.

[Ryan]

So your index finger is longer than your ring finger.

[Tyler]

If your index finger is longer than your ring finger, you squat to pee.

[Ryan]

Oh, I do. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Wow.

[Ryan]

Beta.

[Tyler]

Yeah. God, that's gotta hurt. Now you're the one that showed that video too. If I were you, I would have went like this and been like, nope, I'll find a different video.

[Ryan]

Oh, looks good to me.

[Jared]

You're just holding it to the side so it looks.

[Tyler]

Jared's going like this. See, my, my ring finger is longer.

[Jared]

Yeah. My uncle's missing his pointer finger. Dude's testosterone to the mat.

[Tyler]

I can tell you this, in my 32 years of life that I think someone has used the ring and index finger correlation for about a hundred different things. This is a new one. Testosterone levels are attached to it.

[Jared]

Sigma.

[Tyler]

I've seen people use that to be like, oh, what is your intelligence level? Like? I, I wouldn't be surprised. Someone's like, if your ring finger is longer than your index finger, you're probably going to do some jail time. And I've seen studies have been done. It's like, where the are we getting that, dude?

[Jared]

I think they're just making up and putting a, a cool sound behind it and people will believe anything. Yeah, you could do that jail time thing right now. Put the right sound behind it and people are going to believe you.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Ryan]

Just like with some slick editing.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

And yeah. If you just say it confidently.

[Jared]

Yep. Say something confidently with the right song and you're in.

[Tyler]

I actually got a, a little tip for you guys that found out. I don't know if you guys know this or not, but take a look at your hand. Hold your hand up. If your index finger is shorter than your ring finger, you're going to be successful in life.

[Ryan]

Oh.

[Tyler]

If it's the same, you're probably just going to live a normal, average middle class life.

[Ryan]

Life.

[Tyler]

If it's shorter. If your ring finger is shorter than your index finger, you're going to get pegged by your wife. And it's. I wish that wasn't true. But that's just life. And that's just the way it goes.

[Ryan]

So buckle up.

[Tyler]

Now. If you just put some music behind that, Jared, there's a lot of people would be like, you know, I think he's right.

[Jared]

I can't wait for you to show up on Sigma Cringe. R slash Sigma Cringe.

[Tyler]

It's. It's just the.

[Jared]

We got to get a grip tester in here. I got to make sure that my grip is higher than that over the handshake.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, like that's a big deal.

[Jared]

I actually, I. I watch the entire video. Every time I see one of those dudes bring the grip tester to like a trade show, he's like, oh, my welders, they got to have the strongest grip. No, steel workers, they gotta have the strongest grip. I watch the whole thing every time.

[Tyler]

It's like the receptionist that ends up having the strongest. According to this guy.

[Jared]

Yep, yep.

[Tyler]

It's like that's actually where guys like this and the door guy that I talked about earlier originated from the original. One of those was the first guy to talk about how firm your handshake needs to be.

[Jared]

Totally.

[Tyler]

That was the origin. And everything just spiraled out of hand from.

[Jared]

Hey.

[Tyler]

From there.

[Ryan]

That was the big bang.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it was. It was a big bang for life. Ax. We. Everything goes back to the firm handshake guy.

[Jared]

Yeah. And that had to have been early because I remember getting the firm handshake from my dad.

[Tyler]

That was. That's got to be a thing from like the 1600s. That's goes way back.

[Jared]

Yep. That should be a fun fact, Jared. Where the handshake originated.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I can do that for next episode.

[Tyler]

That would be a fun fact.

[Ryan]

I don't like shaking hands, but I always. I get really clammy, so I work on that. I guess I'm a beta because of it.

[Jared]

Yeah, you low. You have. You squat to pee. So.

[Ryan]

And low tea and low T. My.

[Tyler]

Sister in law reminded me of a moment when we were at like Christmas mass or something and like, yeah, when you do the Our Father, you're supposed to hold hands. And I was saying next to her. So I hold her hands and she said that I just looked over at her and go, your hands are disgusting. And I forgot all about it. Just apparently that's still sticking with her. Apparently she became very self conscious about her hands. But when after she was. I remember how they were so clammy, so sweaty. Just couldn't believe it.

[Jared]

It's funny that that's the insults like that, that stick. Like I hung out with a buddy on Saturday that in seventh grade I made fun of how much leg hair he had and he wore jeans every summer for like the next five summers.

[Tyler]

You're an.

[Jared]

I know. I just made fun of it one time and it just stuck with him. And he was. He was wearing jeans and we're 30 years old now. Like, you still wearing jeans because of what I said in eighth grade. He's like, no.

[Tyler]

That is kind of sad though, actually.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You should apologize.

[Tyler]

Tyler, did you apologize?

[Jared]

I doubt it. It. I didn't this weekend.

[Ryan]

Just text him right now. I say I'm sorry.

[Tyler]

Honestly, I can't sleep tonight if you don't text that guy. I feel really bad for him.

[Jared]

I'm not texting him because it's one.

[Tyler]

Thing to make fun of your sister in law for her sweaty, clammy, disgusting hands. Another thing to change a whole guy's life by saying he's got too much leg hair.

[Jared]

He's fine. Jeans. There's look now. I did that for him. It's an identity piece.

[Ryan]

It's a good spin zone.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Oh, man. Yeah, just. They just keep coming out of the woodwork. Guys like this cringe alpha guys.

[Ryan]

Right. Probably follows this unironically.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Like if I texted him about this right now and he'd be like, oh, he would. Just before I even finish, he'd be like, yeah, my ring fingers longer than my index finger.

[Jared]

I know where you're going with this. And I don't squat to pee.

[Ryan]

If your ring finger is bigger than your face, you have cancer.

[Tyler]

That was a great bit. You guys used to do that too.

[Jared]

Hell yeah.

[Tyler]

How does I. I still amazed at how pre Internet we all did the same bits. How quickly stuff traveled by word of mouth.

[Ryan]

It's a great bit.

[Tyler]

It is a great bit. And then that evolved into the. I can make the penny go into the water bottle.

[Jared]

Bottle.

[Tyler]

Then they go, whatever. And like set it on top of it and they're like, all right now look in there. And then they squeeze the water bottle.

[Ryan]

Oh yeah, that's a great one.

[Tyler]

The guy did that to my mom once.

[Jared]

I was gonna say I should bring that back. Hit some of my. Hit my grandparents with it. They'll fall for it. Oh yeah, they listen to the pod, they'll know.

[Ryan]

I'll just bleep this whole Thing.

[Tyler]

Well, perfect. You got about two days to get it done.

[Jared]

Perfect. Just randomly. I gotta show you guys this. I came over and I just to show you something really quick. Quick. Hold on, let me set my phone up.

[Ryan]

Grandma's like, I gotta go weed whack quick.

[Tyler]

No, you should do it then. Like, no, I'm not doing it. I know. And then have someone standing next to her and just spray her in the face.

[Jared]

Gotcha.

[Tyler]

Just anti joke.

[Ryan]

Just be mean.

[Tyler]

Dousing your grandmother with water.

[Jared]

Happy Mother's Day.

[Tyler]

No, you should do it. Be like, oh yeah. You should be like, like, oh yeah, you're right. You got. You're smarter than me. Say, grandma, I want you to come take a look at my washer. Unhook the, the, the clamp on the hose. And then actually get her a little diversion with the first trick.

[Jared]

Yeah. Here's some dirty dark water for you. Grandma.

[Tyler]

Falls over, breaks her hip. All for a little gag.

[Jared]

Yep. What's easy?

[Ryan]

It's not worth it. I got A patron question, Mrs. Luther. How do I get.

[Tyler]

Don't. How do I get my body chemistry changed when you said that? Because I'm just thinking about that potter's wheel.

[Ryan]

How do I get over the boat rap Nerves. Also you mild.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that sounds like something Mrs. Luther would say.

[Jared]

See, the patrons are way funnier than us.

[Ryan]

They are.

[Tyler]

How to get over the boat. Boat ramp nerves. Boat ramp nerves. Tough to say. Actually, I think it's one of those scenarios if you're, if you're really worried about it. I'm guessing you don't have a lot of experience with backing up boats. You got practice. So start. Just, just, just do a whistling session in your driveway. Just in and out, making sure you got the nuts and bolts, the foundation laid. And then you're going to want to take some PTO off of work and head to the boat ramp. Like just on like a Tuesday at.

[Jared]

Like 10am after the early guys are out, before the night. Fishermen are coming in sometime during the day.

[Tyler]

Just go out there when no one's gonna be out there and just practice getting in and out. And if you can do the work beforehand, then you can just show up and just, just, you know, just play.

[Ryan]

The game, Practice the way you play.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I mean, don't bring your dad. That won't help. That'll make everything worse. In fact, actually bring your dad with when you're practicing. And you don't even have to prompt him. He'll just start yelling at you, telling you how worthless you are. And basically You're a piece of. Because you can't back up boat. And then that will prep you for when it's go time and he's not there. He'll be able to perform under pressure because he's already done it in the most hostile environment. It's like when Tiger Woods's dad used to try and, like, distract him while he was just practicing. When it came time to tournament time, it was easy because his dad made it so hard.

[Ryan]

It's like when football teams practice with, like, crowd noise from the speakers.

[Tyler]

Crowd noise? Yeah. Our goal is to make practice harder than the game. So when the game starts, it's all easy.

[Ryan]

Exactly.

[Jared]

Go to the game. There's 14 parents in the stands doing a silent code. Yeah.

[Tyler]

That's like the class that. That Miami team was so good that their scout team was actually way better than all the teams that they were playing. The hardest game they had was at practice every single day.

[Jared]

The trailer thing is funny because I borrowed my dad's trailer to get that mower last. Not this weekend, but last. And I have his Google calendar on my phone to, like, know when he can babysit and stuff. And I specifically made sure to bring the trailer back when he wasn't home.

[Tyler]

Smart. Very smart.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I'm like, he's got. He's showing a property on Tuesday night. That's when I'll bring the trailer back.

[Ryan]

Oh, God.

[Tyler]

That's crazy, by the way.

[Jared]

Why?

[Tyler]

It's wild.

[Jared]

I didn't want him there.

[Tyler]

What would he have done? If you're there and you're backing it.

[Jared]

Up, and if I started up, he'd have come out and heckled me.

[Tyler]

What do you. I. What do you. Tackled you. Even if you didn't make it absolutely perfect.

[Jared]

No, no. But I would have collapsed under pressure. I collapsed under pressure in front of you one time. I can't back up a trailer if someone's watching.

[Tyler]

He really did.

[Jared]

I can't do it if someone's watching me. I completely it up every time I.

[Tyler]

Watched him back up a trailer, and I thought, one, that guy's got a weak handshake. Two, his ring finger is shorter than his index finger. And three, he probably. When he enters a room, turns around and closes the door, and it just was like. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Like, wow, this guy is beta.

[Jared]

Yep. I just. I just cut my ring finger off at that point.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I. I mean, but you do need to have a really bad experience backing up a trailer to lay the foundation for being someone who can in the future.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I remember this one time, I don't know, I must have been. Just got my license in high school. Helped my dad like after school or something where we were doing a project, project and he was like, well, why don't you get in there and back this trailer up here? And it was like, only like a, I don't know, 10 foot long trailer. So it wasn't long. So when you start turning the wheel, it just. Every little movement on a shorter trailer just starts cranking. They're tougher.

[Jared]

Way tougher.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And I had to go down like it must have been like a 50 yard little strip of driveway or whatever. And I just started essing back and forth and then eventually I'd like get it going and then it would just like tired end up in the grass and I have to go forward and go again. That's the shitty part with the trailer. You get in the wrong spot, you have to go forward and it's like you now have to do that stretch again. It's not like you. Okay, I got to that point, I can keep going. And he was dying and laughing his ass off.

[Ryan]

It's like the movie Miracle again.

[Tyler]

Yeah, essentially. Yeah, essentially what that was for me.

[Ryan]

You're crying.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it was like Michael Scott when he goes to parallel park his PT Cruiser and he just goes, ah. And he bumps into the other car. There's tons of room. And he's like, I'm not gonna make this one go to the next one. That was me backing up the trailer. But since then, you know, because. Because then it's like you get behind the wheel and you lock the in because you're like, I. I'm having flashbacks of s in this thing down the road and my dad just giving me about it.

[Jared]

And the thing is like, they don't just stop making fun of you after you finally back it in. It continues. Yeah, for maybe years. Like it doesn't. It's not just over once you get it in there.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Like you're. He comes over, you're like vacuuming something and he's like, tyler, do you want me to show you how to back that vacuum up?

[Jared]

Exactly. Think. You sure you can handle this? You know you're going to have to turn around at some point. Yeah, I think I can do it, dad.

[Ryan]

I could do it.

[Jared]

Will you. Will you please go to another room?

[Tyler]

Close your eyes, plug your ears. Yeah.

[Ryan]

I got a fun fact about lightning. Lightning strikes the Earth approximately 100 times per second, which means there are about 8.6 million lightning strikes each day. The Empire State Building is construct about 20 to 25 times annually thanks to its height and conductive materials. Using its construction and a lightning bolt can reach temperature of around 30,000 Fahrenheit, which is five times hotter than the surface of the sun.

[Tyler]

Damn. So how do people survive lightning strikes? Yeah, I don't understand that either.

[Ryan]

I didn't look that up.

[Jared]

Yeah. Shouldn't it just vaporize that them?

[Tyler]

I don't know because. Does it go through them into the ground and that's why. I don't know.

[Jared]

But if the. The heat portion, I didn't know that. That should just burn your body to a crisp. You can't get very close to the sun.

[Tyler]

I know, I. It doesn't make sense. Very similar to when I was confused about how things get buried if we're not making more dirt.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

How do you not die if you get struck by light lightning? I mean, I know people do, but.

[Jared]

They do.

[Tyler]

But like I feel like you shouldn't be able to survive a lightning strike.

[Jared]

No, there's. I think there's a dude that's survived two lightning strikes.

[Tyler]

That is bad luck, man.

[Jared]

Yeah, well.

[Tyler]

Or great luck, good luck, bad luck, same thing.

[Ryan]

They always interview him on the news. This guy survived lightning strikes?

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's just his hair is just sticking straight up, you know, know twitches. Well, like you feel like it would also like do something to your cuz. You know how like your heart's got some sort of electro. What pulse in it that like, you know. I don't know what they like when they shock you, bring you back to life. You think if you got struck by lightning it would with your heart, you know, like make it explode or something.

[Ryan]

Or maybe it makes your heart stronger.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Ryan]

It's kind of like a superhero attribute.

[Tyler]

Good. I just.

[Ryan]

That would suck to get struck by lightning.

[Tyler]

Wouldn't be fun.

[Ryan]

It be electric.

[Tyler]

Is it true? Does anyone know that like, you know, they're like, oh, you got rubber shoes on, you're fine. Is that even true?

[Jared]

I'm reading the story about the guy, a guy that got struck by lightning twice and he said it blew his boots off his body.

[Ryan]

I don't know.

[Tyler]

So funny. I just.

[Jared]

This.

[Tyler]

The idea of someone getting their shoes blown off, it's just such a funny vision.

[Ryan]

That's the first thing they say.

[Jared]

He's like, I saw a big old flash. Then I knew I was going down. Yeah. Okay. So the first he got hit by the. The lightning strike twice. That same one where it hits the spot twice. The first one went through his hand, knocked his boots off, and the next one hit the ground right next to him, went up his leg and out his arm.

[Ryan]

Oh, my God.

[Jared]

He said it, like, popped his thumb.

[Tyler]

But he was fine.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Shoes just go flying off.

[Jared]

So some random lady was. Saw it happen, and she went over there and, like, administered help until the ambulance arrived. That probably saved him.

[Tyler]

So if I saw lightning strike twice in the same spot, not running there, it's like, you have to go help him. But you're also like, my next. I thought that lightning couldn't strike twice.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And I just saw that happen. So what's to stop Mother Nature from striking a third time?

[Ryan]

I don't know. You don't really want to offer him water or anything either, because you're like, oh, what do I do?

[Tyler]

It's like, is this similar to a jellyfish thing? Do I just pee on you? What. What's the protocol? He just.

[Jared]

What the man?

[Tyler]

I don't know. Jellyfish sting. Dude, you got stung by lightning. Like, I do the same thing with bee stings, too. I don't know. Am I not supposed to be doing that?

[Jared]

Every time I get bit by a mosquito, I piss on myself.

[Tyler]

I mean, I'm. I'm. I'm sorry. My brain is fried. I guess I probably shouldn't tell that to you, but I'm. I don't know what's going on.

[Jared]

Same. Same game.

[Ryan]

At least you try to help.

[Tyler]

Yeah, right. Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Fault on that. Got. Got misinformation, I think.

[Jared]

I think you got to stay in the spot. He got struck twice because, like, if lightning can't strike twice, it's for sure not going to strike three times in the same spot.

[Ryan]

So you think.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

So the Empire stability gets struck 25 times a year, roughly.

[Ryan]

Definitely.

[Tyler]

I thought it would have been more than that.

[Jared]

Yeah. Do you get your money back if you're in the viewing area and you get struck by lightning?

[Tyler]

Well, it's. I think it's like the pole goes down into the ground. So, like, it's like a lightning rod, right?

[Ryan]

It's conductive to.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's like. So it doesn't go into the building. That's what a lightning rod is, I think.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I don't know.

[Ryan]

Probably to sign a waiver, too. To go on the observation deck.

[Tyler]

I went on the observation deck. I don't remember if I signed a waiver or not. Probably. Did they put in front of me. I was only 12, but I still was signing whatever was put in front.

[Ryan]

Of me and crayon, you know.

[Tyler]

Oh, is that it, Jared?

[Ryan]

That.

[Tyler]

All right, guys, well, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the you bet your radio podcast, if you can wish. Or, yeah, say congrats to Ryan if you get the chance, and have a great week, folks, and we'll see you the next one.

[Ann]

Ryan's napping with his newborn in toe While the gang's left stranded in a n ball show DIY dreams just ain't going as planned Jared's more smoking couldn't find of the land it's duct tape fixes and meltdown's galore Tyler's washers dancing across the linoleum floor I'd call for backup but Luther's long way Rome won't build itself in the light of one.

[Tyler]

Day.

[Ann]

Saw Jerry back that trailer into the lake It's a skill he swore he mastered oh, big mistake the mower sputters low like testosterone's tune can't cut the grass Might just call it quits by noon it's tough to take fixes and meltdown's galore Towers washers dancing across the linoleum floor I call for backup but Luther's long way Rome won't build itself in the light of one day Saw Jared back that trailer into the lake It's a skill he swore he mastered oh, big mistake the mower sputters low like testosterone's tune can't cut the grass Might just call it quits by new Saw Jared back that trailer into the lake It's a skill he swore he mastered oh, big mistake the mower sputters low like testosterone's tune can't cut the grass might just call it quits by noon Mrs. Stack High like a mountain of woes It's a circus act when the chaos flows in a bluegrass rhythm we sing and complain Backing up live trailers in the pouring rain Messy stuff Tape fixes and meltdown's galore Tyler's washers dancing across the linoleum floor I call for backup but Luther's long away Rome won't build itself in the light of one day Mrs. Stuff take fixes Melt the Lord.

[Ryan]

Jack shotgun Mary kill Going to the movies by yourself Going to a concert by yourself Going to a restaurant by yourself this is easiest.

[Tyler]

I think I easily kill the concert.

[Jared]

By yourself 4 sure you're crazy to.

[Tyler]

Go alone yeah now would it be fun? I still would have fun I I'm under I try to pride myself that I can do anything Alone and be comfortable. Agreed.

[Jared]

I don't think I could be comfortable at a concert alone. I don't.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's a little bit like what do you do with your hands?

[Jared]

You know, like half of the fun is a song that you and your wife or your buddy or whoever went with you singing it at the same time.

[Tyler]

Well, you're not supposed to sing at concerts. The Internet says they can. Supposed to sit down and enjoy the music.

[Jared]

Eat. I'm. I'm singing.

[Tyler]

No, I, I agree. Now if I was thrust into the situation, I would. I believe that I would be able to do it and still enjoy it. That being said, I'm killing going to a concert by yourself because that is crazy.

[E]

Now is that. Is that if you're sitting like sitting in the stands in a seat or like what if you were in like ga down and kind of like the pit.

[Tyler]

So I, I would, I would try to make friends. Like if I'm in a standing situation, kind of free for all, no assigned seats, I'm making friends.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[E]

And you're, and you're. You currently are. You're just a.

[Jared]

A.

[Tyler]

You're just a. I mean even if I was you, I would have an easier time going to a concert by myself as me currently, because I would naturally be able to make friends.

[E]

Yeah, but I think you'd still be able to do it.

[Jared]

People be like, why the hell is the you bet you guy here alone?

[Tyler]

And then I would have some snarky comeback, you know?

[E]

Yeah, Yep.

[Tyler]

Like wife got too drunk, left her in the Uber.

[Jared]

Yeah, he's her problem now.

[Tyler]

Exactly. And then you just, and then you're out of it. They don't need not even thinking about that anymore.

[Ryan]

You're like, I love Florida Georgia Line.

[Tyler]

I'm. I'm an absolute simp for Florida Georgia Line.

[Jared]

I think the best genre of concert to go to alone would be like a heavy metal mosh pit vibe anyway. Cuz you're splitting up with your friends as soon as that mosh pit starts anyway. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Once elbows start flying, dude, it's. Yeah.

[E]

Once the bodies hit the flow.

[Tyler]

I, I would go to a restaurant more by myself than I would go to a movie by myself. Myself.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Because if you just sit at the.

[Tyler]

Bar or whatever, but even at a like, yeah, even a table I like. I think like in college I'd go to the dining center by myself and just kind of just enjoy it.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah. I, I'm. I'm in a merry movie. I've done it before. I mean Like, I prefer going with a friend, but it's really not bad going to a movie alone.

[Ryan]

I prefer it.

[Jared]

Really.

[E]

I went to.

[Tyler]

Oh, man. I've just never done it in my whole life. I've never gone to a movie by myself, myself. What's the it.

[E]

What's a movie about? The atomic bomb.

[Jared]

Oppenheimer.

[E]

Yeah, that's the only movie I went to by myself.

[Jared]

It.

[E]

It was actually very peaceful.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[E]

Very peaceful. Because, I mean, you, you get.

[Tyler]

I.

[E]

You get a large popcorn.

[Jared]

You don't have to share that. You don't have to be passing it back and forth.

[Tyler]

So what, you just doing the popcorn trick by yourself?

[E]

I mean, who else can do it?

[Jared]

Peewee Hermaning it.

[Tyler]

Yeah, really.

[E]

Unless you're there for the previews and the time to make friends next to you.

[Ryan]

So where you from?

[Tyler]

You want some popcorn?

[Jared]

You want to share a tub of popcorn? I swear to God, my dick's not in it.

[Tyler]

You're like, well, why would you say that? I was not assuming your dick was in it.

[Jared]

I am now.

[Ryan]

The Oppenheimer bucket shapes like an atomic bomb.

[Tyler]

I'm just waiting for one time, like when my kid comes of age to be able to go to a movie. I'm going to go to a movie with my child. Just going to be me and him and some YVR fan is going to come up and ask me about the popcorn. I'll be with my son and I'm just going to be like, really, dude, Time and place.

[E]

Read the room.

[Tyler]

It's going to happen to me at some point in my life. And then I'm going to have to try and skate around it by telling him what the guy actually meant. You're like, popcorn trick. Like throw it up and catch it in your mouth. That's.

[E]

We only do that during the previews, though. I think I'm probably going to marry the restaurant because I also really like people watching and it's great opportunity to people watch movie. It's dark. No one's walking in. You know, know.

[Jared]

It's a great time to movie watch.

[E]

Great time to movie watch. Yep. And I'll. So I'll the movie and I'm killing concert.

[Ryan]

Go to a movie to people watch.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Right.

[Jared]

You sit. You just backwards on your chair in the front row. I would be so uncomfortable.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Or you just, you know, like when you walk into the theater, you always kind of stand. You have to do a. When you go into a movie, you have to do the. The mandatory pause.

[E]

Yes.

[Tyler]

Once you get in to look at the seats do that, but just never that.

[E]

Y. Yeah. It'd be like the previews of that movie. Was it called Smile?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[E]

Where these like, I don't know, freaky people would like show up at MLB games and just have this fucking huge smile on their face to promo them. That's what that'd be.

[Tyler]

Wonder what it would look like at the movie Smile.

[E]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

What would I do? I would marry movie. Yeah. Kill concert and fuck restaurants.

[E]

It's kind of. I know. Same church, different view. But when you guys were younger, did you ever have like a. Was there ever a scary movie that was like the go to with chicks or like your buddies?

[Tyler]

And I remember Paranormal Activity being that popular back in the day.

[Jared]

Yep.

[E]

That one. The Grudge and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Those were the.

[Tyler]

Those are ring.

[Jared]

The ring was.

[E]

The ring was another good one. Yep.

[Ryan]

That was a little before, but yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yep. I remember my parents, we used to run a resort and some. So there'd be a new group of people in every week. And there was one week this kid brought the Amityville Horror.

[E]

Okay.

[Jared]

And I was like 10 and we watched that and in his. His cabin and I was terrified to walk home. So the Amityville Horror, I've watched it again now that I'm older. Like this sucks. The special effects are from the 80s. It's not scary at all. Ball. And I just remember like, I was like almost in tears having to walk back to my house from his cabin in the middle of the woods. I was tweaking balls.

[Tyler]

Do you think that this is going to be a very deep question? Do you think that there's any thing that happened to you psychologically? The fact that your parents ran a resort and so you would make friends with people for a week and then they would leave you and you'd never see him again. Or maybe the next year you would. Do you think there's anything weird or strange about that?

[Jared]

No, definitely. It's definitely weird. And we only did it for one summer, so I just never saw those kids ever again. But it was kind of weird though.

[Tyler]

Like you make friends with someone for a week. Your whole life is making friends with someone for a week and then never seeing them again.

[Jared]

Yeah, it was weird that summer because like there was one week when the six Harry Potter book came out and everybody at the resort was reading it and they were all gone before we finished it. So I was like. I could. I talked to them about most of the book.

[E]

Yeah.

[Jared]

And then when we finished it, they were. They had bounced and I'm like, ah, who am I gonna talk to about this?

[Tyler]

Tell the truth. Any loves of your life that came and gone. There had to have been a girl that you were. Dude, I love her, and she's gonna leave me in a day, and I'm gonna be very sad, so.

[Jared]

I'm sure there was. I was 11, so I don't really remember, but I'm. I'm sure I was. Dude, I was 11 years old. I was about to hit puberty. I'm sure I was crushing hard.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah, you were.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah, almost. You were. I was.

[Jared]

I think it was. I think it was the next year I discovered it.

[E]

Yeah, you were.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you. Yeah, were.

[Ann]

Summer loving happened so fast.

[Ryan]

I've never seen Greece.

[Jared]

I. That weird. Weird that we brought that up. The Grease was one of the only two movies that we owned at the resort, so I watched Greece a thousand times.

[Tyler]

I. I think it's a pretty good movie, actually. Actually, my sister loved it. Yeah, she watched it a lot.

[Jared]

I. I enjoy it. I think it's really good.

[Tyler]

I mean, there's just something about the main. The main character going bad at the end. Spoiler alert. You're never gonna watch it.

[Ryan]

Well, you recommended it.

[Jared]

You should totally watch this. But here's the end.

[E]

That is true.

[Tyler]

It's like. It's. It was that generation's Breaking Bad, you know?

[Jared]

Oh, who's that?

[E]

John Travolta. Travolta.

[Jared]

Yep.

[E]

Yeah, I mean, kind of did that really Scientology.

[Jared]

John Travolta is Danny Zuko.

[Tyler]

No, I know, but that's not who I'm talking about. I'm talking about Sandy.

[E]

Yeah. Spoiler alert.

[Tyler]

Oh. Oh.

[Ryan]

It'S from the 70s.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I mean, if you haven't seen it.

[Jared]

Yeah. You've had plenty of time. 50 something you've had your entire life, Jared.

[Ryan]

It's true. That's me.

[Tyler]

You don't know how she goes bad, though.

[Ryan]

How is it?

[Tyler]

I. I'm not falling for that trap. I don't like to spoil movies.

[Jared]

Rizzo gets pregnant right away, but she's actually not pregnant.

[E]

Spoiler alert.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

She uses plan B. Oh, I don't know.

[E]

Was even a thing back then.

[Tyler]

God, just something about a heart throb and some leather pants, you know? I know.

[E]

I mean, it's. It's got to be one.

[Tyler]

That's all we'll say.

[E]

It's got to be one of the most popular, like, couple co Halloween costume outfits, for sure.

[Tyler]

Very popular.

[Ryan]

I don't know. Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia might be up.

[Tyler]

There, which is just weird for us, cuz they're brother, sister. Spoiler alert.

[E]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

God damn it, guys. If you want more, you bet your radio, you gotta check out our Patreon. You gotta go to patreon.com you bet radio or look us up on the app. And we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you got to check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.