This Might be The Most Awkward Marriage Proposal Ever #323

Summary

Podcast Summary: You Betcha Radio - "This Might Be The Most Awkward Marriage Proposal Ever #323"

Episode Information:

• Title: This Might Be The Most Awkward Marriage Proposal Ever #323
• Release Date: April 23, 2025
• Hosts: Miles ("Myles the You Betcha Guy"), Ryan, Tyler, and Jared

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1. Introduction and Easter Basket Debate

The episode kicks off with the hosts discussing Easter traditions, particularly the trend of adults, specifically those in their 30s, desiring Easter baskets typically reserved for children.

• Miles (00:17): Initiates the conversation by highlighting social media chatter about adults wanting Easter baskets.

• Ryan (01:13): Comments on the innocence at heart, stating, “Because we're still kids at heart. Little candy couldn't kill anything. Yeah, it feels good.”

• Miles (02:33): Shares a personal anecdote about convincing his grandma to include him in the Easter egg hunt, reflecting on the emotional satisfaction of participating.

The discussion delves into whether it's feasible to expect mothers to continue traditional Easter practices for grown children, with Miles expressing skepticism.

• Miles (03:14): Mocks the notion, saying, “She’ll just go, big eye silly.”

The hosts humorously explore the idea of mythical figures like the Easter Bunny maintaining lists similar to Santa’s Naughty or Nice, emphasizing the playful nature of holiday traditions.

2. The Most Awkward Marriage Proposal Video

A significant portion of the episode revolves around a video Miles found depicting what he considers "the most awkward marriage proposal ever."

• Miles (19:24): Introduces the video, prompting reactions from the hosts.

• Tyler (20:03): Expresses his skepticism, “That's kind of it. I felt staged.”

• Ryan (20:25): Agrees, suggesting it’s a second take, adding, “I think the I will is too fast.”

The hosts critique various elements of the proposal, from the timing of the response to the proposals' setting and the surrounding crowd's reactions.

• Tyler (21:23): Points out the discomfort in the recipient’s reaction, “She stuck her hand up. I don't know.”

• Miles (22:02): Comments on the simplicity of the proposal, “He's straightened to the point, says her name. It just says, will you marry you?”

They humorously speculate about the long-term prospects of the couple based on the awkwardness of the proposal, blending humor with light-hearted skepticism.

• Jared (25:05): Jokes about the couple’s future, “I think this guy is just gonna let her run all over him their entire life.”

3. Burning Experiences and Fire Stories

Transitioning from holiday traditions and marriage proposals, the conversation shifts to personal experiences with fire-related activities, particularly revolving around Tyler’s weekend burn.

• Tyler (37:13): Narrates an incident where he attempted to burn a large pile of firewood, which nearly got out of control due to a sudden wind shift.

• Miles (44:22): Expresses concern over the safety of such endeavors, “How close you can get to a fire.”

The hosts discuss the therapeutic aspects of starting and managing fires, interspersed with humorous takes on fire safety and neighborhood perceptions.

• Tyler (45:31): Reflects on the peacefulness post-fire, “It was one of the most peaceful chores I've ever done.”

• Jared (46:16): Light-heartedly suggests, “Guess it goes out of control.”

4. Work Week Structures and Productivity

The conversation shifts to workplace dynamics, particularly the idea of implementing a four-day workweek with ten-hour days, a topic Miles had previously mentioned on Patreon.

• Jared (65:54): Introduces a listener question about politely declining a coworker’s outside-of-work advances.

• Miles (66:06): Responds by discussing his contemplation of a four-day workweek, “I've been tossing around in my head.”

The hosts debate the feasibility and potential success factors of reduced workweeks, intertwining personal anecdotes and speculative strategies.

• Jared (66:15): Jokes, “The only way it's gonna work out is if you golf really well for the first like three weeks of the year.”

• Tyler (66:32): Adds, “We talked about a 4, 4 day, ten hour, 4 tens.”

They explore various work-life balance strategies, highlighting humor and camaraderie in their brainstorming.

5. Miscellaneous Topics and Listener Engagement

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts engage in a rapid-fire discussion covering a range of topics from massage therapy, home security, to state-specific trivia.

• Jared (78:30): Poses a trivia question about the only U.S. state capital without a McDonald's, leading to a playful guessing game.

• Miles (82:49): Shares insights on his wife's heightened sense of security concerns, humorously suggesting unconventional home protection methods like a messy house acting as a deterrent.

The episode concludes with the hosts brainstorming and playfully mocking the idea of an "excuse book" to help listeners navigate social interactions, solidifying the podcast’s comedic and conversational tone.

• Miles (85:35): Suggests, “Maybe you could have a whole days worth of...” leading into the excuse book concept.

• Tyler (88:08): Encourages listeners to support the podcast through Patreon, reinforcing community engagement.

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Notable Quotes:

• Miles (00:17): "One thing I saw going around the Internet over the weekend for Easter was a large amount of 30 plus year olds all saying that they deserve an Easter basket, even at 30 years old."

• Ryan (01:13): "Because we're still kids at heart. Little candy couldn't kill anything. Yeah, it feels good."

• Tyler (20:03): "That's kind of it. I felt staged."

• Ryan (20:25): "I think the I will is too fast."

• Tyler (45:31): "It was one of the most peaceful chores I've ever done."

• Jared (66:15): "The only way it's gonna work out is if you golf really well for the first like three weeks of the year."

• Miles (85:35): "Maybe you could have a whole days worth of... [excuse book idea]"

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Conclusion

In this episode of You Betcha Radio, the hosts navigate a blend of nostalgic Easter traditions, scrutinize a potentially staged awkward marriage proposal, share personal fire-related mishaps, and debate modern workweek structures—all delivered with their characteristic Midwestern humor and camaraderie. The conversational style, punctuated by humorous quotes and relatable anecdotes, offers listeners both laughter and thoughtful reflections on everyday topics.

For those who haven't tuned in, this episode encapsulates the essence of You Betcha Radio—a heartfelt, comedy-filled exploration of man culture, nostalgia, and Midwest life.

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Listen to each comedy-filled episode every Wednesday on You Betcha Radio for more engaging conversations and laughs! Cheers!

Transcript

[Miles]

Well, boys, it was Easter this weekend. So Hoppy. Easter.

[Ryan]

I hope it was excellent.

[Miles]

Yeah, nice one.

[Ryan]

Thanks.

[Tyler]

You guys celebrate Easter? I just celebrated April 20th and blaze it, baby.

[Miles]

We'll get into that in a second. We'll get into that in a second.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah, it was Easter this weekend.

[Miles]

One thing I saw going around the Internet over the weekend for Easter was a large amount of 30 plus year olds all saying that they deserve an Easter basket, even at 30 years old.

[Ryan]

I couldn't agree more.

[Miles]

You agree?

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

Because it's like, do you agree? Do you not? Why do you think we deserve Easter basket star?

[Ryan]

Because we're still kids at heart. Little candy couldn't kill anything. Yeah, it's like, feels good.

[Miles]

It's like, in reality, your family still has like a jar of like Reese's eggs or jelly beans or whatever sitting on the counter. Would it have hurt your mom to parse that flu game?

[Ryan]

You all right?

[Tyler]

I tried.

[Miles]

No, I know. Are you good?

[Tyler]

I'm good.

[Miles]

Was that really loud for anyone else or.

[Ryan]

That was pretty loud.

[Miles]

Sitting right here.

[Jared]

I think it like funneled into the mic.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah. My. Okay. Yeah, we. You live and you learn. It'll happen again.

[Ryan]

Ryan's Easter basket is cough drops.

[Tyler]

I wish.

[Jared]

I'll get a cough coat going for this episode.

[Tyler]

And no, I'm not coughing. Because of the smoke inhalation. Yeah, because I was. Yeah. Anyway, go. You keep going.

[Miles]

Would it kill your mom to parse all that stuff up and put in a little basket with a little bit of. What is the stuff they put at the bottom?

[Ryan]

Fake grass.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah. What is that? Confett?

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

Would it be that hard, mom, to just do that for me and then wake up early and hide it from me? You know? Like, would it be that hard?

[Ryan]

So Easter, we get to my grandma's house and I showed her a video about 30 year olds wanting Easter basket still. She's like, I didn't get you one. And then all of a sudden, she included me in the egg hunt. I think she felt really bad because, like, the. The old teenagers, they still get to be in the egg hunt. All of a sudden she's like, tyler, there's some hidden for you too. And I was like, I don't think those are for me. I think you just felt bad so you put me in it. But I got. I did get to be in the egg hunt and it was awesome. So I felt. I felt great getting to be in the egg hunt, so I would feel even better with a basket.

[Tyler]

Was that. Were Age groups separated, so little kids.

[Ryan]

Got their own colors. And then the rest was for the teenagers.

[Tyler]

Gotcha.

[Ryan]

And then grandma threw me in at the end. She's like, and Tyler, so do you.

[Miles]

Think you're gonna get a basket next year?

[Ryan]

I think so. I think I successfully guilt tripped grandma into getting me an Easter basket.

[Miles]

So here's the thing. I feel like you can guilt trip your grandma into getting you an Easter basket. I do not think you can guilt trip your mom.

[Ryan]

Yeah, for sure.

[Miles]

I feel like she's just like, shut up. You're an idiot.

[Tyler]

Yeah, especially what my mom would say, especially.

[Miles]

Or she'll just go, big eye silly.

[Tyler]

Yeah. So who's it. Who's gifting the Easter basket? Is it like your wife gifting you one, or is it your mom? Or is it a mixture of both or like, what are the. What are these 30 year olds saying?

[Ryan]

If there's any kids in the car listening, it's the Easter Bunny. And mom is the facilitator. She tells the Easter Bunny, if you.

[Miles]

Get a basket, she mails the Easter Bunny a letter saying that you deserve one. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Approved or disapproved.

[Jared]

Also, the Easter Bunny does have a Naughty or Nice list. It's kind of weird.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Everyone's included except 30 year olds.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. If I'm a parent, which I am with my kid, I'm going to be like, every single holiday is going to require a Naughty and Nice list. Keep them whipped into shape all year round.

[Tyler]

Well, they don't know any better. It's like they, like they think what we determine for them. So, like, we tell them, hey, Santa's got a Naughty or Nice list. Like if we just start telling them the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, all these mythical characters.

[Ryan]

Hey, you want to come on the St Patty's Day pub crawl with dad?

[Tyler]

Oh, ye.

[Ryan]

Are you on the naughty or nice St. Patrick?

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah. You want a pot of gold, you better be good.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam.

[Tyler]

Yeah. You want fireworks?

[Miles]

I thought you're talking about tax day.

[Tyler]

You want to get tax. You want to get a tax refund? You better be a good boy. You're doing a lot of spending this year.

[Jared]

Get those W2s out.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And obviously the trend is like, clearly a joke.

[Ryan]

Right?

[Miles]

But I don't necessarily felt like it was a joke for everyone that was involved.

[Ryan]

Right? So here's what it was, a joke. Grandma, if you're listening, you don't have to tell the Isha bunny, I need a basket next year. But I'm actually, I'M not going to be sad if I get one. I'll be stoked.

[Miles]

I'm also very confused how we went from Jesus dying on the cross and rising again to bunnies.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And then eggs.

[Ryan]

Because you want a quick dad joke for you.

[Miles]

Bunnies don't lay eggs.

[Tyler]

No.

[Ryan]

You know why the Easter Bunny hides his eggs? He's embarrassed. He a chicken.

[Tyler]

Hell yeah.

[Jared]

That'd be much more light hearted.

[Miles]

Yeah, me too. I thought it was be very kid friendly. No, not really. Okay, well, your dad jokes. That one's just a joke. I don't think that's a dad joke.

[Tyler]

You even said before. You said if you have kids in the car.

[Ryan]

Yeah, well, that's a good one for him to bring back to school.

[Tyler]

Not one of the kids.

[Ryan]

My grandpa told me that Easter bunny's.

[Miles]

Embarrassed that he's doing bdsm. Chickens. That's Tyler's dad joke.

[Jared]

I thought it be like a dad.

[Tyler]

What's bdsm?

[Jared]

They're on the naughty list.

[Ryan]

No pub cross for you.

[Tyler]

I. I would say though. I would say Easter has the best candy dish candy out of any holiday.

[Ryan]

Dude. Jelly beans.

[Tyler]

Jelly. Jelly beans.

[Ryan]

F. They do.

[Tyler]

Also the, the chocolate, like the malted milk, eggs. Those also f. Much better than candy corn or I don't know, what do they put?

[Ryan]

I think you're missing the big. The, the big winners. Halloween.

[Jared]

Exactly. Yeah, exactly.

[Tyler]

But candy dish candy is candy corn.

[Miles]

And it's usually just mini sized candy bars in a dish is usually what I see.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I'm thinking of, I mean, candy corn, peanuts. That's like the traditional candy dish.

[Ryan]

Isn't that for Thanksgiving? Candy corn? No.

[Jared]

Halloween mode. Tomato, tomato.

[Ryan]

We'd get like little turkeys made out of candy corn on Thanksgiving.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's actually. I think it's traditionally a Halloween deal.

[Jared]

Okay. Yeah.

[Miles]

But that's for another podcast.

[Ryan]

Jelly beans do.

[Tyler]

Yeah, they do.

[Miles]

It's the only time of the year that I will eat a jelly bean.

[Tyler]

Same.

[Ryan]

It is sad. I wish we ate them on more holidays. Do you know? Yeah, I love those things.

[Jared]

The jelly belly jelly beans suck. Like the starburst and the sweet tart ones are the best.

[Miles]

Starbursts are.

[Ryan]

The starbursts are the top.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Really sucks.

[Ryan]

I don't think jelly belly sucks, but starbursts are better.

[Miles]

So at my family, this is the first time I ever done it. We hid Easter eggs around the yard. And so everyone, all the parents just got some and we hit them or whatever. And I got the ones for like the Little, the youngest one. And I, like, put one on top of a door frame, being like, okay, well, like, I have one that's hard for this kid to see. They're all just, like, throwing them in the lawn and, like, putting them up in a tree that's very visible. And I kind of got, like, shamed for making it a little hard for their kid. And I wanted to be like, if we just hand these kids these eggs, how are they ever gonna learn anything in life?

[Ryan]

They need adversity.

[Miles]

They need a little adversity. I put one underneath a car. I kid to get his hands dirty. Get on the ground, belly crawl under there. Earn yourself an Easter egg.

[Tyler]

Change my oil filter while you're at it. Yeah, change the oil.

[Miles]

I mean, how are these kids going to learn any resiliency if we just take a little egg and just set it in a bush and then at eye level, and when they walk by, they're like, there's an egg.

[Ryan]

One of my favorite things as a dad, my favorite. I say it all the time to my kids is just figure it out. They. I've seen so many cool epiphanies in their head just for me saying, figure it out. They had eggs up in the tree, just like you're saying. And my youngest, like, dad, can you get it for me? I was like, figure it out. He went and found a stick and knocked it out of the tree.

[Miles]

Love that. That's how we should be doing Easter egg. We should make. We shouldn't even make it in the yard. We should do the whole neighborhood. And we hide those suckers on roof lines. We hide. We hide them in safes in people's houses. Like, this should be an all. All day ordeal. We got to teach these kids some problem solving skills.

[Ryan]

We got to get 4 year olds working canvas lines, or what do they call when they do a grid search. They got to organize a team. We spread out 20 yards apiece, and we go back and forth across the neighborhood.

[Miles]

They got to figure it out.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That might be their approach. They might go, every man for himself. It's. And then what they'll find is, you know, teamwork makes the dream work.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And then they'll band together and find the eggs all together.

[Ryan]

And they get lost. And soon we'll have a Lord of the Fly situation on our hands.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

If you can, you go and try and find the kids like some kids tied up in a window well. And you're like, okay, this. Maybe he was hoarding eggs.

[Tyler]

Yeah. If you can get. If you can get kids to all work together and like kind of like share the pot of eggs or whatever you're hiding for them like that. I think that's just, that's winning.

[Ryan]

Communism.

[Tyler]

There we go.

[Miles]

Communism.

[Ryan]

Disperse the eggs.

[Tyler]

That's true.

[Miles]

But I think we need to be rethinking Easter egg hunts after this weekend. Yeah.

[Tyler]

You got a stock pond. Fucking throw one out on a raft, float it out in the middle. Just figure it out.

[Miles]

Swim out there.

[Tyler]

Sink or swim. Need the floaties in the garage.

[Miles]

And they'll also learn something about risk versus reward. You know, Jared can't swim, so he's going to be like, I think it's okay if I don't get that egg. I'll let that opportunity pass up.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Some other kid will get it and I'm happy for him because they can swim.

[Jared]

I'm climbing up roofs finding eggs.

[Miles]

Or if you want it bad enough, maybe that's when you learn to swim. Jared.

[Ryan]

Yeah, Sink or swim, literally.

[Jared]

I don't even like eggs, so that's going to be a tough one.

[Miles]

True.

[Ryan]

Yeah. He gets.

[Miles]

Usually eggs are filled with money or candy. Jared.

[Ryan]

So does your family do the one egg that has like a big bill in it?

[Miles]

I don't know. We did as kids. Yes.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we used to do that. We didn't this year. I was a little disappointed. All the golden eggs, they're like, those are money in there. So I'm hoarding golden eggs. Right. That's what I'm going for. So getting the golden eggs. And they're all ones, which I'm, I'm thankful, I'm thankful for the money. But you used to be like one of them had a 20 in there and you'd fight your cousin for the 20.

[Miles]

Well, probably one too many black eyes at outlaw 20s.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You know, it's kind of like us at the Christmas party. One year of completely open bar.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Someone puking and we had one sing and.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Getting in the shower.

[Tyler]

Hot shower.

[Ryan]

Five hours, 6am One year there was 100 in a golden egg and my dad had hit it in the tailpipe of somebody's truck and they left early. So there's just a hundred dollar egg lying on the road somewhere.

[Tyler]

They weren't blowing smoke or anything. They weren't rolling.

[Ryan]

Like didn't like fill it.

[Tyler]

They weren't rolling.

[Miles]

It's not like a potato stuck in there.

[Tyler]

I know, but like, you know, you think you're just like, like slowly just tumble out of the back or. No. Okay.

[Ryan]

It's Gone.

[Tyler]

Yeah, gone, but never forgotten. There's 100.

[Miles]

Do we know why we do Easter Bunnies with eggs? Do we know? There's got to be some lore behind it.

[Ryan]

I'm sure I Big Candy invented it. They're like, here's a holiday that we need.

[Miles]

Why does the Easter. Oh, you got to start over, Jared. Sure. Oh, okay. You ready?

[Jared]

Try again.

[Miles]

Why does the Easter Bunny have eggs when bunnies don't lay eggs?

[Tyler]

That's a great question. The Easter Bunny and Easter eggs are symbols that come from different traditions. The bunny represents fertility and new life, while the eggs symbolize new beginnings and the resurrection. Over time, these symbols came together to create the fun traditions we celebrate today.

[Miles]

I am calling bullshit.

[Tyler]

Wait, so the bunny represents new life, and the egg represents new beginnings.

[Ryan]

Bunny's fertility because you give her the old adage, they're banging, like utility and new life.

[Tyler]

But then.

[Miles]

Yeah. Wow. I'm not buying it. So this is our.

[Ryan]

This is a new guest.

[Jared]

Still working out the kicks.

[Tyler]

It sounds like you're having an interesting conversation. Sometimes traditions and symbols can be a bit surprising in how they evolved. If you have more questions or want to chat about something else, feel free to ask.

[Miles]

All right, you could stop it, Jared. You can. You can hang up. That is. That's our new. Our. What's her name?

[Jared]

Sandra 9000.

[Miles]

That's Sandra 9000, our new AI Google person guest.

[Ryan]

I. I think Jared came up with this so that he could foresee all questions on fun facts.

[Miles]

And hey, kudos to you.

[Ryan]

Wow, thanks, Sandra.

[Miles]

I just. There's got to be another reason I'm not buying New Beginnings. What kid is going to grasp that concept?

[Tyler]

I mean, what, like we're 30 something?

[Miles]

Can we fact check this? That's kind of what I'm getting at here. Just Google it. Jerry's. Jared's like this.

[Tyler]

Fact check so bad.

[Jared]

So what is it like?

[Miles]

Why is the Easter Bunny lay hide eggs or why does he have eggs?

[Ryan]

Sandra was right.

[Miles]

She was right. But there's. Yeah. Interesting, huh?

[Tyler]

Yeah. That's odd.

[Miles]

All right, boys, Guess what?

[Jared]

What?

[Miles]

The NBA playoffs are here.

[Ryan]

Hell yeah.

[Miles]

This is. This is the NBA that I love. This is fun to watch. And we're playing prize picks this week, folks. And right now, if you sign up with Code YBR and you get fifty dollars instantly when you play your first five dollar lineup on prize picks, you don't need to win your lineup to receive the 50 bonus. It's guaranteed. So you gotta go check it out right now. And I don't Want to brag, but I guessed it right last week. Turnover game seven turnovers. Kobe White, 2 1/2 more than. I mean, I'm dialed in to NBA right now.

[Tyler]

That was a Devil too.

[Miles]

It was a red Devil. I was absolutely dialed in.

[Ryan]

You could have toggled that red Devil up, I bet.

[Jared]

Maybe.

[Miles]

Yeah. I don't know if they do toggles on turnovers or not.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

Okay. Yeah. Good to know. So this week I got my boy, Jimmy Butler. Jimmy bucket, more than 23 and a half points. He's hit that the last five games. He's going to keep going.

[Jared]

Great in the playoffs.

[Miles]

Great in the playoffs. Great vibes. Saw him on a commercial once. I think he does music too, you know, Seems like a good guy.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Jared, what about you?

[Jared]

I got Carl Anthony towns, more than 21 and a half points.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Carl Anthony Towns, two former T wolves.

[Jared]

Good point.

[Miles]

Tyler's got an interesting pick.

[Ryan]

Wendell Carter Jr. More than a half a steal.

[Miles]

So we just need him to get one steal.

[Ryan]

One steal. That's it.

[Tyler]

I'm going to be watching him that entire game, just waiting for one steal and then.

[Ryan]

And that's on the floor. This is what always happens. It's the one that nobody thinks is going to hit hits and then it's an easy one that doesn't.

[Tyler]

True. I'm gonna follow up the rear. Peyton. Richard Peyton pritchard, more than 12 and a half points.

[Jared]

You can shoot the three really well.

[Tyler]

Yes, he can.

[Miles]

So he just needs. He just needs five threes.

[Tyler]

Then he needs four threes. He got to get fouled on one of them.

[Miles]

Play.

[Tyler]

Four point play.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's it. That's all we got done. So guys, if you'd like to ride with us. We got Jimmy Butler 23 and a half more. Wendell Carter Jr. Just needs a steal. Peyton Pritchard, 12 and a half. Carol Anthony Towns, 21 and a half points. Feeling good about it this week. And guys, if you have any big wins that you've gotten over the last couple of weeks, send it to us. We'd love to take a peek at them.

[Ryan]

I had a win last week.

[Miles]

You did?

[Ryan]

Yep. Last week. $5 to win 55. Dante DiVincenzo, Vincenzo, Jaden McDaniels, Jabari Smith, Austin Reeves, Anthony Edwards and LeBron James. All the more on steals.

[Miles]

We found a hot. We found a hot one.

[Tyler]

Steel guy.

[Miles]

Maybe next week we go all in on steals. We steal Tyler's play.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And we go steals Tyler's.

[Tyler]

Mr. Steal your Steal your picks because they Weren't his picks. They were. His cousin filled that up for me.

[Ryan]

It's his. I. I told him I'd split it with him.

[Miles]

So.

[Ryan]

You're going to get 23 bucks, buddy. Or whatever it would be.

[Jared]

It's a lot of bones.

[Miles]

Yeah, it is. So, guys, we're having a great time. My mom thinks prize picks is sweet. And if my mom think it's. She's dialed in. So that's the mom test, correct? Yeah. So, guys, go check it out. Use code ybr. So, yeah, that was what I did this weekend is I had one egg too hard, so.

[Ryan]

You son of a bitch.

[Tyler]

Hey, you're probably off the hook for next year, though.

[Ryan]

You don't have to hide eggs next year.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you got about like six, seven more years. And they're like, all right, we gotta miles hide them and hide them in a tough spots.

[Ryan]

The amount of times I heard my grandpa say I'm gonna be finding eggs in the yard mowing all summer long, it's just like, I don't think you're gonna find that many. Like, I think we had it pretty well covered. I'm 30.

[Miles]

Don't you count the. The number of them beforehand?

[Ryan]

Grandma counted the little kids, not the big kids.

[Jared]

That would be a good prank. You just throw like plastic eggs throughout the whole summer.

[Ryan]

I should. That's a great pr.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we're done.

[Miles]

We're not doing that anymore.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's just like when you like pop confetti in the yard or something and you can. You find it like five years later.

[Jared]

Like fireworks.

[Miles]

The whole summer if you do them at the lake.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Just still wash it up on shore at the end of the year.

[Jared]

Little pieces of paper everywhere. It's terrible.

[Miles]

I.

[Jared]

That's two.

[Miles]

I came across a video over the weekend, guys. It is a video of a marriage proposal. And I just want to see what you guys think.

[Tyler]

Buddy of yours, I can have the top seven and do a whole thing. Do like a course. Oh, okay.

[Miles]

Victoria's Faith Br. Will you marry me? I will. What is happening?

[Ryan]

Missionary shirts on.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It's like the reaction from the crowd. The crowd goes mild. Is like. Either it's. They're just very awkward group of humans or no one believes this couple should be getting married.

[Ryan]

You know what I think? I think this is take two. I think this is staged. I think this is.

[Tyler]

That's kind of it. I felt staged.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Okay, so you think that they already got engaged and then they're like, oh, the kid. No one recorded it.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Let's just do it quick.

[Ryan]

I think the I will is too fast.

[Miles]

Also the amount of times I've tried to get my wife's attention and she's given me this same reaction. I feel that guy's pain. I feel it.

[Tyler]

You think the. The old man in the black shirt, he. He'd be like. I don't know. He's just staring off into the distance. So uncomfortable. There's a guy on a knee next to.

[Miles]

You know what would be funny is he doesn't even know these.

[Ryan]

Yeah, this is a public fishing pier or something.

[Miles]

I was just like, oh, shit.

[Ryan]

And also, do you see he's kneeling in bird shit.

[Tyler]

Tyler. I was going to say it looks like there's bird shit behind her foot.

[Jared]

That's why they do another take.

[Ryan]

Yeah. The bird in the first one.

[Tyler]

Can we watch this again?

[Jared]

Yeah, let me. Yeah, there we go.

[Tyler]

And do a whole thing.

[Miles]

Do like a court.

[Tyler]

Oh, okay.

[Miles]

Victoria's face bra. Yeah. Will you marry me? I will.

[Tyler]

That makes me so unconscious.

[Ryan]

The one clap, dude.

[Miles]

The one guy clapping. And when she whipped around, there was a millisecond where she was gonna lose her. She was interrupting.

[Tyler]

Pinching her or what?

[Miles]

Doing right, right in. Right there. She was like, this guy is, oh, I'm gonna let him have it. I'm so sick of him touching me.

[Ryan]

I will. Yeah.

[Tyler]

A damn near case of whiplash there. She almost left her hair behind too. She was pissed. I will.

[Ryan]

I will.

[Miles]

But I also like this guy. He's straightened to the point, says her name. It just says, will you marry you? There's not some long monologue, no fluff.

[Ryan]

She did step right in the bird.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah. Her shoes were actually brown before this.

[Miles]

Yeah. What's a guy in the black shirt? Do you think. You think that someone would be like, hey, don't stand there.

[Ryan]

Right.

[Tyler]

I think what he's doing it. He's pretty distracted about how good of a fishing spot this could possibly be.

[Ryan]

Yeah, he's saving his spot. He's waiting for somebody to get the rods.

[Tyler]

Yeah, he's checking out. Trying to check out contours and seeing we. The weed lines and like that. He. I mean, I don't know. Do you think this is the dad of the guy or the girl or.

[Jared]

I think he's just an innocent bison.

[Ryan]

He is giving innocent bystanders.

[Tyler]

I think he just got maybe an uncle.

[Jared]

I think he got trapped and nobody told him to get away and he didn't want to go away. He just locked up and just stayed there.

[Miles]

Also, it Was nice of the. The. The guy proposing to really dress up for this kind of shirt. Is that. You see, Jared?

[Ryan]

It's a dog.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

It's like a brown or a chocolate lab or something.

[Jared]

Coast at the end.

[Miles]

All right. One more time.

[Tyler]

And do a whole thing.

[Miles]

Do like, a court.

[Tyler]

Oh, okay.

[Miles]

Victoria's face brush. Will you marry me? I will.

[Tyler]

And she just stuck her hand up. I don't know.

[Ryan]

The clapping makes it 10 times worse for me. Just like, all clap or none of you clap. And just the.

[Tyler]

Well, the reason. I also think it's staged, because normally the hands will go up to the cheeks, like, oh, my gosh, I'm getting engaged right now. I'm so happy. But, like, it was nothing. Like, the hand just went straight up to the ring.

[Jared]

And I think another reason there. Nobody's clapping because everyone's filming on their iPhone.

[Ryan]

That's true.

[Miles]

You think?

[Ryan]

Except for dad. He's in the moment.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

He's crying inside because he knows he's got to pay for this wedding.

[Jared]

Everyone knows this fishing spot.

[Miles]

I bet.

[Ryan]

I bet they get married right there on that dock.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Two lows in life for dad. Now people know his fishing spot because it's on video. And number two, he's got to pay for this wedding.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

He's like, son of a poor fellow.

[Miles]

I think it's also giving energy that she planned this, and it didn't quite go exactly how she had pictured it. And so she still doesn't want to ruin the moment, but she. You know, she's still a little pissed. That's not going. She didn't expect all these people to be on the piercion, you know?

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

So when he first touched her, he's. She's like, I know he's proposing me right now, but I don't want him to because now every. All these people are here.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's ruined.

[Tyler]

Yeah, they were. Yeah. They're probably sitting around the house, and she's like, okay, let's go to the dock and do this. And he. He's like, the first shoes he saw, he just, like, tossed them on real quick. Pants are tucked into the cowboy boots.

[Jared]

Good pair of jeans.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You guys think it lasts? Weirdly, yes, I weirdly think so.

[Jared]

I can only go up from here.

[Ryan]

I think this guy is just gonna let her run all over him their entire life. And they'll live a sad marriage, but a long one.

[Tyler]

I was gonna say absolutely not. I think, if anything, she probably cheats on him.

[Ryan]

I don't. I don't think he's gonna care.

[Miles]

I wouldn't go that far. You can't assume that about people, Ryan.

[Tyler]

Well, I mean, I feel like I know these two, but it's also the.

[Miles]

The vibe that I get from that couple is that that engagement ring cost $42. I don't. And just throwing it up, which is.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Which is okay.

[Miles]

Got it at a pawn shop, which is totally fine. And probably what we all should do.

[Ryan]

Bought it with $42 of love.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we're getting scammed on diamond prices anyway.

[Jared]

We are.

[Ryan]

I found some videos this weekend too. I have a new obsession. Have you guys ever heard of True Blood? It's called have you ever heard of True Blood?

[Miles]

I don't. I've never heard of it.

[Ryan]

True Blood are bringing back teenage garage bands, and I am so here for it.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

This group of four brothers, they just play music. They do covers in their garage, and these guys rip. I had Jared get videos of it so you guys could see them.

[Tyler]

Are they decent?

[Ryan]

They're very good.

[Miles]

Do you all want to have an adventure?

[Ryan]

What kind of adventure?

[Tyler]

Pause it. Let's go.

[Miles]

They are. They are very good. At first, when they first showed the three brothers, I thought that the fourth brother was, like, one of the Jonas Brothers who didn't make it in the band. Who? Just the guy filming. I didn't know we were gonna get a fourth one.

[Ryan]

I think the. The dude filming is the fifth brother.

[Miles]

Oh, really?

[Ryan]

I don't know. I've seen comments about it, but these dudes are absolutely crushing social media. Everybody loves them, and everyone's talking about how the world is healing because teenage garage bands are back.

[Miles]

I like that. And the fifth brother filming is going to be the one who makes the most amount of money because he's going to be the manager and just rig his brothers over the coals.

[Ryan]

10%. Everything you do.

[Miles]

Yeah, all the time.

[Jared]

One behind the Music in 20 years.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can just smell a split in all these guys. Within the next, like, 10, 15 years, it's covered. There's got to be someone, too. With flickering the outside lights. You guys see the outside lights flickering?

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah. They get a production crew going.

[Tyler]

Unless that's inside.

[Jared]

Slap at the base, brother.

[Miles]

Slapping the base. Did you guys ever go through. Through a phase as a kid where you wanted to be in a band?

[Ryan]

Hell, yeah. I absolutely did.

[Miles]

I did.

[Ryan]

I just couldn't play any instruments or sing.

[Tyler]

I went through more of a phase. I wanted to be a songwriter. So I, like. I was, like, writing Songs on notepads and. And the songs I would write were just lyrics I would hear from other people thinking it was a good song.

[Jared]

Do you remember any of them?

[Tyler]

No, I think it was more em. It was probably Eminem based though, back in the 80s.

[Ryan]

Writing raps.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah. Rap slash, you know, I don't know. Soft blues, I guess you could say.

[Ryan]

Oh, I thought.

[Tyler]

I thought it was like a new genre that could have maybe taken off because.

[Jared]

True.

[Miles]

What could have been.

[Tyler]

What could have been Loose.

[Miles]

Yeah. When I was a kid, it was. One of my buddies, name was Brad, he could. He could play the drums. And my mom, I had said I wanted to play the guitar and so she got me a guitar and I was not very good at it at all. I still am really bad at guitar. But my buddy had a drum set and he had a mic in his basement because his brother was in a band. So I came over there with my guitar and me and him learned my own worst enemy by lit.

[Ryan]

Nice.

[Jared]

Great song.

[Miles]

Can we forget about. And so he was playing the drums and I was tasked with playing the guitar and trying to sing. And it all fell apart when I couldn't focus on doing the guitar and singing at the same time.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

It also fell apart when I. Musical talent whatsoever, essentially, is what I'm saying.

[Ryan]

So you should have been man behind the camera taking the time for.

[Miles]

I should have. I should have absolutely had some self awareness and realized that, hey, I don't got to play a guitar. I just got to go find a guitar player and then I can manage the band.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's like, guys, I. I'm struggling playing Smoke on Water right now. I'm not. How am I supposed to sing and do this at the same time?

[Miles]

And you could. I. I could tell because he was like. He could drum, you know, And I could tell he was like, disappointed in my abilities, you know, like, it was kind of one of those things that he was jacked up about. When we started talking about, I was like, I have a guitar. He's like, yeah, like come over and jam. You could see it in his eyes. This is not it.

[Ryan]

You stumble through your first verse. You just see his soul leaving his body.

[Miles]

He's just like, okay, yeah, well, let's. Let's try it again. Yeah, let's run it back.

[Tyler]

Yeah. He thought he had found the missing piece to the boy band.

[Jared]

What? B. Rad can't sing though. Why couldn't he sing?

[Miles]

Yeah, you're right.

[Tyler]

What about Broad?

[Miles]

Maybe. Maybe after a while we did try him singing because I couldn't.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I don't know. But yeah. Shout out to Brad and the two man band that. That never was.

[Tyler]

Did you guys. Did they have a name?

[Miles]

No. God no.

[Ryan]

They didn't get that far. My college roommate started a band like this in our basement. Their names were Buffalo Alice. So shout out to Buffalo Alice. And they would. Our entire basement living room was a drum set, a keyboard, guitar stands. And they would go in there and it's like there's four other people that live at this house and would just play music for like eight hours and they just get canned while they played music.

[Miles]

Hell yeah. That's the dream.

[Ryan]

Hell yeah.

[Miles]

That could have been me if I had any musical talent.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

I just. Where would I be if I. If I was musical?

[Ryan]

Not here.

[Miles]

I know. With Ryan.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I don't. Stage coach or something, probably.

[Ryan]

I don't know.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Fest, headlining.

[Ryan]

I can't think of any musical artists that have podcasts.

[Tyler]

Ernest had a podcast.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

They usually go on podcasts, I suppose.

[Ryan]

Yeah. So those who can't sing, podcasts.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Here we are.

[Tyler]

Here we are. It's a good point, Tyler.

[Ryan]

We found our way to a microphone one way or another.

[Jared]

It's true.

[Miles]

It's true. Maybe that's what I'm compensating for, is that I couldn't do the mic thing as a musician, so now I just have to podcast.

[Jared]

Maybe you could play the guitar while you podcast.

[Miles]

I couldn't. I can't focus on two things at once.

[Tyler]

But maybe you just didn't find your. The correct lane of singing. Like, did you try screamo? Like you may be good at screamo.

[Miles]

Yeah. But yes, I could try screamo as just the singer. I can't do the guitar and sing at the same time. My brain can't do it.

[Ryan]

So it's funny. You bring these. The scream up. These kids do screamo music too. Like, and the lead singer dude has like this little poppy voice with the boy band hair and then his scream is like a 35 year old that's been doing screamo music their entire life. It's crazy.

[Miles]

So what you're telling me, Tyler, is you are a fan girl of a bunch dude.

[Ryan]

Teenage boys in their garage, unabashedly. I am a huge fan of True Blood. Call Me a Day One or Of True Blood.

[Tyler]

If they were all in their 20s, would you be a fan still?

[Miles]

He would not.

[Ryan]

Probably not.

[Miles]

He would. Absolutely not. Because everyone loves a. A prodigy. And that's what Tyler views these Kids.

[Jared]

As he wants to manage them.

[Ryan]

I'm a day. Hey, kids, you need some help promoting yourselves?

[Miles]

So I was just taking a walk through the neighborhood and I couldn't help but hear the racket through the garage door.

[Ryan]

They do say that management is 50% of a band success. So that'll be my cut.

[Miles]

Yeah, that is a very good point. If that quality of music was on a 20 year old kid's band, you would be like, these guys are not that good.

[Jared]

Yeah, get a job.

[Miles]

I think it's like on the show agt, it's like, they'll be a kid.

[Ryan]

America's got Talent.

[Miles]

Folks at home, if you didn't know that they were 12 years old and you just heard the music and knew no backstory, you'd be like, yeah, it's pretty good song. Pretty good. But as soon as you attach that they're 12 years old, they win the whole thing.

[Tyler]

Yeah, golden ticket.

[Miles]

Golden tickets all the way through. Just because they're 12. It's like, at what, at what point does an award show go from being who's got the most talent to who's the youngest with the most talent?

[Ryan]

Hey, they're awarding the potential. They're like, this kid's gonna be amazing.

[Miles]

You know what I mean? It's like all the dog acts in it are always like, that's really good for a dog. And you're like, well, but there, that's not what the competition is. Have them go on Dogs Got Talent.

[Ryan]

And the second somebody puts on a dog tail and does it themselves, it's weird.

[Miles]

Correct.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Suddenly you're a furry.

[Ryan]

Yeah. What the hell is that all about?

[Miles]

You know what I mean? It's like, what? Just because you're, just because you're 12, you sing pitchy, but because you're 12, it's like you can make it through the early rounds and make it late in the show.

[Jared]

I don't understand, are you just bad because you're not musical enough?

[Ryan]

Yeah, I think so. I think he's better.

[Miles]

But even jugglers, if it was a 12 year old juggling, they're like, oh my God, you're only 12 and you can juggle eight balls. And then you have an adult do it and you're like, I see at the circus every week, I did that.

[Ryan]

Exact thing at the circus. Some little kid did a whole juggling act. And I was like, that was awesome. And then the grown man came out there and did the same thing with like blocks. Like, you know, catch the blocks between themselves and I Was like, all right, this is kind of lame. Can we, can we get the next act in here?

[Miles]

It's like, how can you win America's Got Talent just because you're 12?

[Ryan]

You're betting on, you're betting on future horse races.

[Miles]

It's true.

[Ryan]

Kid's going to be good.

[Miles]

Forget that. Running a business.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Jared]

That kid juggling needs a manager.

[Ryan]

Yeah, he does.

[Tyler]

Yeah. You're just scrolling. So this guy needs a manager.

[Ryan]

It is funny. It was like that kid, he dropped a. A bowling pin or whatever the hell he was juggling, and everyone was like, it's okay. And then the, the old guy drops one of his blocks. We're like, are you kidding, dude?

[Miles]

This guy stinks. You know, if you're gonna drop, why.

[Ryan]

Are you even doing this?

[Tyler]

Yeah. You had how many years to learn it? Yeah, seriously. Literally, your job.

[Ryan]

Get True Blood in here.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I feel like True Blood. And the, the Foodie Boys, or Maryland Foodie Boys or whatever.

[Ryan]

Maryland.

[Tyler]

They should, they should do a collab.

[Miles]

Yeah, I'd watch it.

[Tyler]

I can manage both of you guys. Food, music, festivals.

[Ryan]

I bet you none of the MD Foodie Boys can sing, so they started a podcast.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Hey, we got this thing called Rib Fest. Food and music.

[Ryan]

Hell, yeah.

[Tyler]

Combine them into one under one. What do you think of these barbecued ribs?

[Ryan]

I don't really like barbecue sauce.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Well, that sucks, because this is a barbecue event.

[Ryan]

Do any ketchup?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Flee out here for this?

[Ryan]

Relax. Chub perm.

[Tyler]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Ryan]

God.

[Tyler]

This last weekend, I, I had the. I had one of the most peaceful chores to do in my yard, and that was tending to an oversized fire and. Okay, so let me, let me, let me give you the visual for this thing. So we've been clearing up some, some branches and sticks and brush, whatever. We probably had like a. I don't know, like 10 t long, 10 t wide, 10 t high pile of, of.

[Miles]

Not actually 10 t long, 10 t wide,. 10 t high.

[Tyler]

Probably.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

It was huge.

[Ryan]

It.

[Tyler]

Dude, it was huge.

[Miles]

I don't think you realize how big that is.

[Jared]

Would it be, like, half this room?

[Tyler]

Yeah, this room is about 10ft high.

[Ryan]

About 12, I think.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Is about half of this room.

[Tyler]

So go 2ft lower in the ceiling and then 10ft, 10ft on each side. That's about how big it was. I mean, I, I, maybe it's like.

[Miles]

It'S like this corner of the room up to the ceiling. Because the ceiling's 10ft high.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So if you, like, if I was 5ft high. And I laid myself out twice. That's about how long and wide it was.

[Miles]

Where did you get all this, dude?

[Tyler]

Cleaning out of the trees. There, there. I. There's unlimited firewood in the trees behind my house.

[Miles]

And you burned it all in one go? Wow.

[Ryan]

No fires.

[Tyler]

This. I could have one of these fires every single weekend for the next 10 years. I'd be good. So we. Saturday was like five mile an hour winds, perfect direction. So we started this baby up. We threw like a bunch of. We like raked underneath the pine trees and got all that kind of threw it in there. I took my old fashioned torch because I don't. I don't have a legit torch yet. Took my old fashioned torch. Boom. That sucker exploded.

[Ryan]

Oh, you're talking like the drink. I was like, what?

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, like a. Yeah, lighthouse. Oldfashioned torch. Oldfashioned torch. The drink.

[Ryan]

I was picturing like a stick of wood torch.

[Tyler]

No, that would have worked too, once I got this baby under control. Now we did like.

[Miles]

Okay, hold on, hold on.

[Tyler]

I was.

[Miles]

It. It got out of control a little bit.

[Tyler]

Here's cuz, here's the thing. The wind just switched directions on me and I'm probably like, I'm probably 15 yards away from like the edge of the trees. And the wind switched it, like hit like between the trees and my house. There's a kind of like a wind tunnel. So that wind shot over, like, started blowing the fire and the smoke tore. I'm like, oh. And then I see some of the grass next to it. Starting on fire. I'm like, oh, God. I thought it was wet enough out. I didn't think this would happen, so ran inside. Luckily the dogs, they had a five gallon bucket of water they drink out of. Grab that baby, got out there, grabbed the steel rake, was raking that up, poured, just poured like a line of water around the entire thing. And I sat there for the next two hours just, just chilling, just soaking it all in. I. I was just sitting on the five gallon bucket, you know, pushing embers up into the fire. I was flipping logs. I was kind of opening things up so it could breathe a little bit. I did this for like an hour and a half, two hours straight. It was one of the most peaceful chores I've ever done.

[Ryan]

But you had five minutes of pure panic.

[Tyler]

Five minutes of like, oh, because everything's right. Like, if this catches the trees, the entire woods is on fire.

[Ryan]

Okay. And I would.

[Miles]

I just. Ryan is clearly in his I like to start fires phase of his Life, big time. We can all agree on barrel.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

We haven't checked in lately. No wet in the bed.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Ryan]

Skin in animals.

[Jared]

Homicidal triad.

[Miles]

Homicidal triad.

[Ryan]

We're still good.

[Tyler]

I haven't wet the bed.

[Ryan]

Good. Good.

[Tyler]

Okay, good.

[Ryan]

Check that off. We're good. Yeah. Also, I want to just make sure, for your sake, this is all alleged, because I think you need a burn.

[Tyler]

Permit to burn that big of a pile.

[Miles]

That's kind of what I was thinking. I was literally about to say, I just don't think we should just be burning stuff that big. Willy nilly.

[Tyler]

No, I got it wasn't willy nilly. You guys, like, I thought this whole thing minus the bucket of water.

[Miles]

I mean, immediately, you almost set the whole forest on fire.

[Tyler]

And when I say, like, we were still a good 10 yards from the flames hitting the trees, mind you. And this, like, the biggest point of the fire was only the first, like three minutes of it. Five minutes of it maybe. So it may have felt like an hour, but it was only about five minutes. And that sucker burnt down. And I was. I was at peace.

[Miles]

Where does it. Where does it stop, though? With you? Because you started with a burn barrel, which is normal. It's like three feet and it's not even like a. Like a few pallets bigger than a burn barrel. Like, he didn't go. There's. There was no progression up to a 10 by 10 by 10 cube of fire. You just went. You just went from burn barrel. So I'm gonna burn down the woods to. I'm gonna burn down people's homes.

[Tyler]

No. God, we were way far away from the homes. You got. Again, you guys, it never starts next.

[Miles]

To the homes, but it goes to the blueprints.

[Jared]

Like wildfire.

[Ryan]

I think you're good. I think. I think your burn falls underneath the land clearing and right of way maintenance.

[Tyler]

I didn't need. I didn't need a burn permit for you guys that are wondering. Yeah. Throwing these laws out at me. I didn't. I didn't break any laws.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

We just started a big fire and it was awesome.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Second thought, I would have liked an invite to this bird pile.

[Tyler]

I was thinking I was gonna send you guys a picture and be. And like, like, neck, next one's on me. Like, next fight you got, I gotta get you guys out here. Next one.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It is kind of like I get enjoying like a small fire by yourself. But I feel like if I were to have a big fire like that, I'd have to have have like five buddies all just standing 20 yards away like. Like, what the hell is it?

[Jared]

King of the hill.

[Ryan]

King of the hill. Just sipping beers and making dumb wise cracks.

[Tyler]

Now they say I'm king of the hill.

[Ryan]

And one of the guys.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, I'll get you guys out there for the next one there the way I was gonna start it too. You guys have seen those videos of people starting golf balls on fire and then hitting them into the fire?

[Ryan]

Yeah, they like soak them in gas.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I was thinking about doing that right away. I'm like, I better just. Yeah, but I just.

[Miles]

I've seen the shape shake I' the shape of your game these days. I don't think you can risk it.

[Jared]

Hits the highway.

[Tyler]

Yeah, no, I passed on that. I was like, that's a dumb idea. But, you know, did cross my mind. Dumb ideas happen across my mind every once in a while.

[Ryan]

So.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that. That's kind of what my weekend consisted of. That's that sucker. I mean, I'll send you a picture of the, like just like the ash pile. It damn it burnt down to nothing. So I can start a pretty good fire if you guys are wondering. Also, I. There's a point I like, I wanted to see how. How close I could get without like burnt like that.

[Ryan]

You still got your eyebrows. That's good.

[Tyler]

And there were a couple times I had to check my cat like this, like the side of my. Of my legs just to see if I still had hair there because it felt like it had singed off.

[Miles]

You know when you talk about the burn barrel, like. Like people got burn barrels and I know that people do big piles of. And burn it. You know, I'm all that. But the way that you talk about it sometimes I'm starting to think this is going into an area that I don't love.

[Tyler]

Talk about what area would that be?

[Miles]

Just how much you. How close you can get to a fire.

[Ryan]

It's like I want to feel how much I can take, you know?

[Tyler]

Well, it's more so like, hey, can I get that? Can I get that? I need to flip that log that's in the very middle. So with my steel rake, it's probably, I don't know, five foot steel rake. Like. Like I need to get right on the edge to get that flipped over, aired out a little bit. I get it to breathe.

[Miles]

Because even on a little mini bonfire, I'm just moving stuff around for no reason.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you're sticking your hands.

[Miles]

It's like grilling Tyler earmuffs Sorry. It's like grilling you. You shouldn't really move much on there, but it makes you feel like you're doing something.

[Tyler]

Oh, definitely feeling. Yeah, I. I mean, I could have. Once it was under control, I could have just walked away and did other. But what. You know, why someone's got to tend it.

[Jared]

Guess it goes out of control.

[Miles]

And also kind of smart by you to have a scare early.

[Tyler]

Yeah, big time.

[Miles]

Because if your wife's like, I need you in the house to help me with this. Be like, if I leave, this could burn down the woods. So I am stuck here for like at least the next two hours.

[Tyler]

Two hours of my time is gone on. No one's gonna get it except this fire. So I'm out of commission.

[Jared]

That's how you get out of the house. You just start firing.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I got. Yeah, just start like a little tiny, like in the burn barrel. Just like, like one Amazon box. Be like, I gotta watch this thing until it's officially burned. Okay.

[Miles]

Do you have any. Did you notice any neighbors peeking their heads out the windows or coming over and asking you what's going on?

[Tyler]

No, because it's not rare.

[Miles]

You get a fire that big at least doesn't draw at least one person out of the house.

[Tyler]

Not that I know of anyone. I mean, I was. My eyes were so focused on. On in front of me. I. I didn't. And I. I really don't have neighbors. I can see through their windows. But. Yeah, no, and if you guys see, I mean, you look in my direction, say this weekend or next weekend, you see smoke going, just come on over.

[Ryan]

We're doing smoke signals to hang out now.

[Tyler]

Come on over.

[Miles]

I'm beginning to think Ryan only moved out of town so he could start fires burning best.

[Tyler]

I guarantee anyone who lives out of town who's started fires like that, they're like, it's awesome. Awesome.

[Jared]

It is cool.

[Tyler]

So no tires or anything? I would, I'm. I'm. No, there's no tires this time. I don't have this time. I don't have any tires that need to be burned yet, so.

[Miles]

Oh, you're still using all this?

[Tyler]

A couple more peel outs on the highway, maybe. I have a four more to add to it.

[Ryan]

This is a classic. We didn't get these hats out of the garbage because now I feel like you burned tires. I wasn't thinking it until you said it.

[Tyler]

I'm just telling you, no tires.

[Jared]

I didn't say anything though.

[Miles]

None of us brought up tires.

[Tyler]

Yeah, there's nothing Crazy in there.

[Miles]

Yeah, it wasn't.

[Jared]

We weren't suspected.

[Miles]

We just assumed it was wood. Yeah.

[Tyler]

That's quite literally all it was. Now. Now you guys are making me back myself into a hole, thinking that I had tires and I. I didn't. You know, there's no batteries or anything. No. Yeah, Old Vexilar batteries or anything like that.

[Jared]

They don't work anymore.

[Tyler]

It's pretty awesome, though.

[Jared]

So when's the next burn?

[Tyler]

Well, I mean, I pretty much got everything cleaned up, so now it's. I. It's a good question. I could venture out into the woods a little bit and bring some stuff back, but I don't know, if you guys want to come over, I can make it happen.

[Miles]

It's like, this is classic. When you're trimming trees, you trim kind of what you should, and then you just love trimming the trees so much that you end up over trimming a tree to where there's not. There should be more branches.

[Ryan]

Kind of sad.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It looks weird and sad. Ryan, it's like, you know, there's the appropriate amount of stuff he's supposed to burn, and now he's gonna just start, like, taking that. He. That shouldn't be burned because he's just addicted to the burn.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, one of you guys comes over, you're like, yeah, I'm trying to get rid of. I'm trying to get rid of this old muffler or something. Be like, yeah, I can burn that.

[Miles]

Yeah, I got to be careful what I say around the office of stuff that I'm thinking about getting rid of because Ryan's just burning.

[Ryan]

I'll take that for you.

[Tyler]

Out of sight, out of mind.

[Miles]

Yeah. Where is that couch? That was actually my brothers. He was just storing it here, and Ryan's like. Like, yeah, I don't know.

[Jared]

Yeah, my car's on cinder blocks. Anybody know where my cars are?

[Miles]

Well, so we have those backup batteries in the. In the utility room. So if this thing loses power for, like, a few hours, we could still power it off of, like, basically, like, a bunch of car batteries. We're gonna lose power, and there's gonna be no batteries because Ryan burnt them all.

[Ryan]

The lights are pretty, though, when they burn them.

[Tyler]

I wouldn't know. I've never burnt them before, so I could. You would. I mean, I've seen it.

[Ryan]

My next door neighbors growing up, they would burn anything.

[Jared]

Oh, my God.

[Tyler]

Because it's the best.

[Ryan]

And they would invite you over, and it's like they're throwing, like, couches Tractor tires.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Batteries.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I was sitting on a five gallon pail. I was just like writing down all my problems on a notepad, ripping off a piece of paper, throwing it. Gone.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. Therapeutic.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

No, I had no problems left. Just. I'm just loving life now.

[Jared]

Who needs therapy when you build a fire?

[Ryan]

Yeah, seriously.

[Tyler]

Exactly.

[Ryan]

Man, sad men build fire.

[Tyler]

Who needs Boy Scouts? You know, using a house in the country.

[Ryan]

So are you gonna go for your Eagle Scout badge?

[Tyler]

I mean, I didn't. I've never even started day one, so whatever badge comes first.

[Ryan]

I was a Boy Scout. I made it to the Pinewood Derby and then quit.

[Jared]

That's like the best part, ain't it?

[Ryan]

Yeah. He did the races, I got second, and then I dipped.

[Miles]

Oh, never was in Boy Scouts.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it was.

[Miles]

I was in Taekwondo.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

It was just I had to quit because of wrestling.

[Miles]

Same night. What's going on with you, Jared?

[Jared]

I got a graphic to show you I found on Reddit. It's the percent of homeowners from each state that always lock their door.

[Ryan]

Hell yeah.

[Miles]

Okay, so a higher number means more people lock their door. Correct. Okay, so we're one of the lowest state.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

North Dakota is the concentration of the least people. Sorry, let me state this correctly. North Dakota has the least amount of people locking their doors at night.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Ryan]

You know what else? You could re headline this map as percentage of home breaking and entering. So. Because if your doors unlock, they don't have to break in and enter.

[Miles]

That's true, but it'd be flipped. Yeah.

[Ryan]

No, no. So it's still 43. Because they don't have to break and enter. It's just burglarized at that point.

[Miles]

Got it.

[Ryan]

It's just doors open.

[Jared]

Yep. No breaking.

[Tyler]

What's the high? What state has the highest.

[Jared]

Looks like. Is that Georgia 93.

[Miles]

They're locked down in Georgia. Probably skewed by Atlanta of some sort. Yeah, no, it makes me feel good that we're in a good state. You know, I'll refer to this map when someone says, why do you live in North Dakota? Which they usually do everywhere I go. And I'll be like, hey, we don't gotta lock our doors. So this is a little misleading because my wife does not. She's. She's not in the 40. She is in the 40%.

[Ryan]

She locks. Locks the door.

[Miles]

I don't know about you guys, but my wife thinks we are the target of terrorists. CIA, FBI, everything. Either. Internal. External. She thinks we are under siege from everyone.

[Tyler]

Yeah, like if they were to open the, the gates to like the, the jail or prison in town. Like, they would all come to your house.

[Miles]

And I can't tell you how many times I've gotten into bed. And she'd be like, did I lock, did I lock the sliding glass door? I'll be like, I don't know. Did you, did I take the key.

[Tyler]

Out of the, the riding lawnmower in the garage.

[Ryan]

Bust into your garage just to take the mower?

[Tyler]

Did I lock the garage doors?

[Miles]

Yeah. And it's like, like I'm like, okay, well I, I, you gotta go check. It's like, well, one you should have to check. But she thinks because she remembered it was unlocked and that someone could possibly go in that way, that tonight they're gonna be in there. When she goes down there to check and see if she locked it, it's just a little. Yeah, it's really just like.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And I also was thinking, like, what's gotta happen for someone to, to like, what do they want from us?

[Jared]

That's what you say when they break it.

[Ryan]

Come on.

[Miles]

Like, dude, what do you want?

[Tyler]

Hey, you could dig through these piles of clothes.

[Ryan]

All our expensive is either mounted to the wall or in a safe. You can spend time unmounting my tv.

[Miles]

Yeah, the most expensive thing on this floor is a 70 inch TV. And you're breaking into a house for a 70 inch TV? You could have called me. I just gave it to you. I could at least got some sleep tonight.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah. If you get to Walmart on Black Friday the same time that you got here to my house to break in, you could probably get one for half off.

[Miles]

You know, there is one on cleanup week that will work just fine.

[Ryan]

You could take my wallet. I don't have cash. I'm gonna turn my cards off.

[Tyler]

Ye, yeah, you're not gonna get any.

[Ryan]

Use out of this.

[Miles]

I, I will. There. I will. I, I do hope something, I don't hope something happens, but the time that something does happen, it would be great if when they come stumbling into my house, they trip over all my hats and piles and, and make a bunch of noise and I wake up and I start yelling, what the. You're done. Get out of here. And they leave. And so basically my guard dog system is the mess that I leave around the house.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I hope my kid leaves his toys are out all in front of the door, it turns into Home alone and he slips and falls, cracks his head open.

[Tyler]

Yeah. You could also get a bunch of laser pointers. Just mount them to the Wall in your. Like, walls in your garage.

[Miles]

That's not a bad idea.

[Tyler]

No, I know. Like, if you walk into a garage or home and you see just red lasers, you're instantly gonna think this is a bad idea.

[Ryan]

Obviously you'd think this is a fun.

[Miles]

Challenge, but what's funny is if you have lasers going everywhere to have like a fog machine so that they can see the lasers going across.

[Tyler]

Yeah, true.

[Ryan]

So it's not just red dots on.

[Jared]

The wall that's intimidating.

[Miles]

Yeah. If you walk into a house and there's a fog machine going, you're like. Well, one. You're like, these people are into some crazy. What's going on?

[Tyler]

I mean, you could also just mount one laser to like the. Like the end of the hallway, like, that faces the door. So when the door opens, then they're just. Yeah. There's a red laser pointing right at us on chest.

[Miles]

The one hole. Yeah. Is if they're not really paying attention, they may not see it on their body because they're looking out here.

[Ryan]

Have you guys seen those videos? I think they were pretty popular, like three years ago. Like, people would train their smart homes. They'd be like, alexa, intruder alert. And then all their lights would turn red and it would be like. Like playing music. Like, then the fortunate son would start playing, and the wax would be like, you entered the wrong house and then the music and shit would go. You could do something like that.

[Miles]

My wife would love that. Like I said, my wife thinks that we are housing the Coca Cola secret recipe at her house. She thinks that we have weapons of mass destruction at her house and the terrorists are coming, coming for them.

[Jared]

That's why Georgia is so high. They got the Coca Cola recipe there. Yeah, well.

[Miles]

And I guess I shouldn't speak too quickly on the weapons of mass destruction because we kind of do have some of those at our house.

[Ryan]

But for the audio only. Miles flexed, flexing.

[Tyler]

I like. I. I like it, though.

[Ryan]

That's.

[Tyler]

That's what I'm talking about. I. It made me think too. Do you know what states have stand your ground law?

[Jared]

I don't.

[Ryan]

I don't think. He didn't foresee that.

[Tyler]

Huh?

[Ryan]

He didn't foresee that.

[Jared]

I know. Florida, though.

[Ryan]

You know, the state that surprises me the most is Alaska, because I feel like a lot of these houses are super spread out.

[Tyler]

A lot of drugs in Alaska, though.

[Jared]

All the shady people go to Alaska.

[Ryan]

Wow. Jared coming out of Alaska today.

[Miles]

Well, that's.

[Jared]

I thought that was common at all.

[Ryan]

I did not to me sure for common knowledge.

[Tyler]

Right, yeah, no, I got that.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, we're pretty unified across the board. Anywhere between 70 and 80%. And then there's just some outliers there.

[Ryan]

North Dakota and Idaho look like the low two.

[Miles]

Yeah. If you've been to Idaho.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You can. You can attest that they're not locking their doors. Yeah.

[Jared]

Potatoes.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, you're gonna get potatoes. They're everywhere.

[Ryan]

They're not even in houses. You don't have to break in anywhere to get them. There's in the fields, everywhere.

[Miles]

Any of your guys wives think that every day is Armageddon?

[Ryan]

It's weird because when we lived in North Dakota, we locked our doors religiously. And then we moved to Minnesota and we never locked our doors. I know, I know. I'm just saying I'm opposite the. The statistic. But we were pretty paranoid about it in town. I was just as bad as her. Like, I'd get up out of bed, I'm like, I don't think I locked the door. I gotta go check.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I'd say that's like, if I have any form of ocd, that would be it. Like checking to see if the outside doors are locked. So I think multiple times.

[Ryan]

I think we're the ends in this situation, really.

[Tyler]

My wife, she doesn't even think about doors being locked. I. I gotta. Every night I lock both cars, and then I'll walk away and like, go take a piss, and then I'll be like, did I lock the cars up?

[Miles]

Up?

[Tyler]

And I'm not like, go back and.

[Miles]

You lock your cars in the garage?

[Tyler]

No, I. I park outside.

[Miles]

Oh, outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Like, and to me, I'm not like, worried that I'm gonna get rod. I'm worried about, like, a crackhead coming to the wrong house, like, just trying to get in because they thought stumble.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I mean, that happened to me in town a couple years ago. Random guy.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

Wasted. Showed up in my house, started yelling at my tree. I'm like, I don't know what my tree did to you, but. But please, guys at my front door. So.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, it's probably that there's one person in a relationship that feels responsible for locking the doors.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's me.

[Miles]

Insecure. What. What does that say about me that I am not as worried about it?

[Ryan]

I don't know. I think it could be. It's positive and negative on both sides. You're more comfortable, you feel secure, we're more insecure. But we also feel like we need to protect.

[Miles]

Or it's like I've just given up, you know, And I'm, like, kind of, like, very subconsciously hoping some. Someone breaks in and just do it, you know? Like, you know, I had a good life. This is how it goes. This is how it goes. Yeah. No, I'm joking. I'm doing good.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I think you start a fire.

[Tyler]

I think you need to start some fires here just brings you. It brings you more at peace with the world.

[Ryan]

We got some pallets we can burn out here.

[Miles]

I tell you what, though, the first time this winter, that when it got really cold out and there would just be, like, a random bang from your.

[Ryan]

House just being, like, settling, and I was, like.

[Miles]

I was ready to Navy SEAL my house. I.

[Tyler]

You already.

[Miles]

I was locked and loaded. I thought someone was trying to get into our house.

[Tyler]

You're about to start clearing rooms.

[Miles]

I did clear the rooms.

[Ryan]

Yeah. That happened to me one time when we lived in North Dakota. Our wreath fell off the front door, and it sounded like somebody opened the door, shut the door. I'm like, hey, I'll be right back. So I. I cleared every room, and.

[Miles]

I'd like to think I remained calm.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Oh. Oh, no. It wasn't even, oh, I'll fire. It was just absolute moving and silent. Went. It was. It was a dance, really, is what it was.

[Ryan]

You go to no flashlight or flashlight. Because I went no flashlight, so that if they were in there, they didn't see me coming. I didn't want them to tip. Tip them off to me being awake.

[Tyler]

I got no flashlight. I mean, I know my house better than these people do for sure.

[Ryan]

We got to take every advantage.

[Miles]

I imagine when Ryan moved into his house, his new house, he had to do training sessions to get a. Get a lay of the land. So he knew every square inch.

[Tyler]

Yeah, Well, I mean, before I moved in, I'd have the blue. Blueprints laid out on the kitchen table. In my old house, you know how.

[Miles]

Like, in school, they'd have, like, tornado drills? Like, every kid would go on the hallway and, like, put their head. Whatever. Ryan, when he moved in his new house, he had to implement the new lockdown protocol and got his whole family in on it. So your kid knows exactly where to go, you know? You know, you.

[Ryan]

You.

[Miles]

You gathered a path to sweep the house.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

You have the gun bed.

[Miles]

Yeah, the gun bed where you stick your hands and a shot sawed off shotgun falls in your hand.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's part of the build.

[Miles]

Ryan's just got Something on the floor. He stomps on it, and a gun just comes shooting up in the air and it just grabs it.

[Ryan]

That would be sick.

[Tyler]

That would be sick.

[Ryan]

That would be if. Yeah, you got to catch it, though, because if you don't catch it and you fumble it, all your intimidation factor is out the window.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I'm going. I'm catching two. Two hands with that regardless. Pistol. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Two hands.

[Miles]

Yippee ki. That's what Ryan says every time he straps up.

[Tyler]

Wait, I don't know if you guys knew, but on our. On our. Our Mossbergs, the sights are glow in the dark.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

The best.

[Miles]

That would be.

[Tyler]

Why you flying?

[Ryan]

Yeah. All you see is a green dot in the living room across from you. Like, you got.

[Tyler]

You put a red dot on yours. Dude, that's sweet.

[Ryan]

Need.

[Tyler]

I got. I gotta just tape a laser to mine. Like duct tape on the side.

[Ryan]

Yeah, this is an electrical tip. You gotta, like.

[Miles]

You gotta do with this one with a laser.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's true.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Go the wrist perpendicular to each other. Yeah.

[Miles]

So I. Yeah. I mean, what do you. You gotta steal the moldy cup I got in the dishwasher.

[Jared]

Yeah. You know Nature Valley bars.

[Miles]

Yeah, you steal some Nature Valley bars.

[Jared]

Glad.

[Tyler]

Yeah. What do you need? Some conditioner? I got plenty of that. You see a lawnmower? I don't have any gas in it, so good luck getting that.

[Jared]

That's why you don't keep gas in it, so it doesn't get stolen.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I can't mow the lawn, honey, because if I put gas in here, someone will steal the mower.

[Miles]

Try to steal the mower. But they say it. We'll just push it. They put it in neutral or whatever. And then I wake up the next day, my lawnmower just sitting in the front lawn. They just said it.

[Tyler]

They say, you know. You know, it would be badass, though, is if. If, like, someone came into your home and you had. I don't know. I don't know why you'd have a chainsaw in your house, but if you just revved a chainsaw up, that would be.

[Miles]

You just play that sound on YouTube.

[Tyler]

Yeah, there we go.

[Ryan]

You do that. It just starts with Cash app.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Give me five seconds. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Or. Yeah, you, like. You train your Alexa. You're like, alexa, let the games begin. And then she just, like, fires up this.

[Ryan]

No, no. It plays this squid game song.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Hey.

[Tyler]

Hey. I think you'd probably traumatize those. Those entering your.

[Ryan]

They would sue you?

[Tyler]

Yeah. They would sue you for. What do they call it? Mental damages or whatever.

[Ryan]

I was just trying to sell you some bags of salt for baseball.

[Tyler]

At midnight?

[Ryan]

I heard that you didn't like when we sent out the text, so I came to your house.

[Tyler]

I saw a fire in the backyard. I thought you were having s'mores.

[Jared]

Mental Damage is a good band name.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it is.

[Ryan]

That's what True Blood, though.

[Miles]

True Blood should be Mental damages.

[Ryan]

No, they're good.

[Miles]

That would be intimidating. You break big time, the guy breaks in your house, and then all of a sudden your squid game starts playing over the top. That would be.

[Tyler]

That'd be sick.

[Miles]

Badass.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Always stay wired into the old speaker.

[Miles]

System for that reason. You guys got anything else?

[Jared]

I gotta, I got something. So, Miles, you mentioned on the Patreon a few weeks ago that you're thinking about doing four day work weeks with ten hour days.

[Miles]

Okay. Yeah.

[Jared]

And I have a theory. The only way it's gonna work out is if you golf really well for the first like three weeks of the year. Because I think after that, then you'll implement the four day work week.

[Miles]

Okay. Yeah. So you guys are like encouraging me to like, you guys are like, hey, you need to stretch you out before you go play.

[Jared]

Just a theory I have.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we Talked about a 4, 4 day, 10 hour, 4 tens. On Patreon.

[Jared]

On Patreon.

[Miles]

Just 4 days of work. Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I've been tossing around in my head.

[Ryan]

Let's just make sure that Miles golf's with us and we just. Hey, that's good, dude. Hey, you know, eight footer left to.

[Tyler]

Right, about four feet.

[Ryan]

I think that.

[Tyler]

Dude, I saw you behind those on the green on the practice screen.

[Ryan]

I think that tree you're behind is an unnatural hazard. So pull your ball out of there.

[Tyler]

Dude, that tree's man made. Pull that out.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Gallery rule. I know. You should have found that ball.

[Tyler]

You know what? I'll pull it out for you.

[Miles]

I'll relax. This isn't Breakfast ball podcast, whatever it's.

[Ryan]

Called, something like that.

[Miles]

No, I mean, the real hiccup is Ryan. And the merch shipments got to go out on Friday. So if Ryan's got to be here, then we all got to be here.

[Tyler]

It's true.

[Miles]

So you guys take that up with him.

[Ryan]

Thanks, Ryan.

[Jared]

Thanks, Ryan.

[Tyler]

I mean, I, I, yeah, I, I can get that done in the first couple hours.

[Jared]

That's true.

[Tyler]

I'm here for the first couple hours by myself anyway, so.

[Miles]

Oh, shots fired.

[Tyler]

Check the cameras, 6am Every day.

[Miles]

A four hour work. Four hour work week.

[Tyler]

Tim Ferriss, TM okay, that's right, the book.

[Miles]

Yeah, I just outsource everything.

[Tyler]

Just automate everything.

[Miles]

I got some guy in India handling my emails.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

My mom takes all my phone calls. Why does she take off?

[Ryan]

Well, I live at home but save on rent.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You got fun facts during.

[Jared]

I do. It's more of a guest.

[Miles]

Also you notice how he brought that up again? To remind me that I had said publicly. And he's brought it up because he knows that you guys didn't listen to Patreon.

[Ryan]

I listened to it and so that.

[Miles]

It would become aware again. Jared really wants a four day work week.

[Ryan]

I think he did it because it was on Patreon. And now this is going out to the masses. So now he's got thousands of more years.

[Miles]

I mean why stop at 4? Why not do 3?

[Ryan]

Why not? Depends on how good you golf.

[Miles]

Why not two?

[Ryan]

Two twenties?

[Jared]

Yeah, 220 sec.

[Tyler]

I mean nurses do like, like three. What is it like three 12s or three.

[Miles]

Okay, why not do three 12?

[Jared]

Good, good.

[Miles]

Why not do 140?

[Tyler]

I, I would do three 12. Six to six. No lunch. Just eat lunch on the go. Have it at your hip.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

You can sit up. Thursday.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean there. Yeah, I thought about it. There's probably a whole days worth of we cut out of this company if we're being honest. And maybe like in the winter we aren't like jazzed up about a four hour, four hour, four day work week. But in the summer I'd be great. You go outside, fucking hit the. Mostly just go golfing.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's what my best friend's company does in the summers. I think it starts May 1st. They only work for like half days. On Fridays they do like an 8 to noon or some IT.

[Tyler]

A lot of accounting firms do that too.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

In the summers outside of Texas.

[Jared]

So dentists never work on Fridays. What's up with that?

[Miles]

Because they can do whatever they want.

[Jared]

But it's every dentist I know because that's.

[Miles]

They all, they're smart. They all collectively decided not to compete with each other on available hours.

[Ryan]

Except for that one dentist that everything up and just gets everybody on Fridays.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I think there's a correlation between how much school you attend and how many days a week you work post graduation.

[Jared]

Yeah, because bankers. Yeah, they're banker hours.

[Tyler]

That's a thing you don't go to school to be.

[Miles]

You know, apparently dermatologists are the cushiest of all cushy hours. Like someone was talking about it this weekend that they're talking about their friends that do that. And it's like, it's actually very hard to be a dermatologist because everyone wants to be a dermatologist. Because it's so cake. Miles.

[Tyler]

I scheduled a dermatology appointment.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Because I scheduled one in Jan. This last January. The.

[Ryan]

The.

[Tyler]

Like I did. Hey, I want soonest available mid June. Holy six and a half months.

[Jared]

They have a year.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

It's insane.

[Miles]

They have a four hour work week. They're actually living that book.

[Tyler]

It is insane. I'm like, okay, well put me on the schedule in June. I better put this on my calendar, otherwise I'm going to forget.

[Ryan]

Just send a picture, whatever. You got to Dr. Pimple Popper her. She'll check it out for you.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I just gotta get on my moles checked. Too many moles to send pictures.

[Miles]

Well, why don't you strip down after this? I'll take some photos, we can send them off.

[Jared]

Take a shirt off.

[Miles]

We actually could probably have AI analyze there.

[Tyler]

That's true.

[Miles]

What's her name? Sharon 9000.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Who has an easier pharmacist or dermatologist?

[Miles]

Dermatologist.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Miles]

Because pharmacy just sounds like busy work. You know, you're just counting pills and. Whereas like dermatologists, you could just walk in and be like, good, we'll swab.

[Ryan]

It, test it and I'll just do whatever the test says to you.

[Jared]

Two years.

[Tyler]

Yeah, just refer them to someone else.

[Miles]

Yeah, you're right. We uncovered the next cushiest medical job and that is dermatology. And obviously they are like cutting moles off and. But that's just kind of fun. That's satisfying. You guys can't tell me you haven't seen someone with a giant mole and you're like, God, it'd be nice to cut that thing off.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

It's meditate. There's just meditation is what they're doing.

[Tyler]

Probably more soothing than like massage therapy. Being in a, like a darkish room with like calming music. I'd say dermatology, I think.

[Ryan]

I think it would suck to be a massage therapist because like you're in this calming room, you've got the sense going, whatever. And then you just gotta rub somebody else's back.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's true.

[Miles]

And then they get a boner and you're like, God, now what? Now it's all weird.

[Tyler]

You see on a white lotus when he got a boner. That was awesome. No, just like it was a. I'm glad they put that in, because everyone was like, this guy's got to be popping a woody here soon.

[Miles]

Yeah. They did give us what we wanted. Yeah. Yeah. We knew that guy was getting.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

One.

[Miles]

Also definitely prosthetic, for sure.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That guy wasn't packing that kind of heat.

[Tyler]

No. Someone had a button behind the scenes.

[Jared]

Ty, are you still getting massaged every week?

[Ryan]

Every week? No, I've never got up. Like, the most frequent, I think, was, like, every three months, and I haven't gotten one. I know how many.

[Jared]

I'll tell you how it arrived.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It's because he lives out of town now.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's true.

[Tyler]

At one point, it was one a month.

[Ryan]

I think that was what I was told to do, but I don't. I never did it actually. Once a month. Yeah. I think the most frequent was, like, every three months. More realistic. It was like, every six.

[Miles]

I still have a coupon for a massage that I got a few years ago. I've been just waiting to use the right time. That is like. It's the greatest thing. Like, a free massage is awesome, but it's just. There's not a lot of urgency to use it.

[Tyler]

Like, I don't know why.

[Miles]

You know what I mean? For sure.

[Tyler]

I have two of them. Them. I think I have two couples massages that I have to go. Let's do it.

[Miles]

Mic us up. And the whole podcast is just, oh, yeah, there's no urgency to get a massage.

[Tyler]

I feel like the same thing. You just. I don't feel like I'd ever get an appointment.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

For a masseuse.

[Tyler]

Well, I don't know. I feel like that.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you can get those.

[Miles]

Don't lie to us. You haven't even tried.

[Tyler]

No, I feel okay. I went to.

[Miles]

It's not. The problem isn't availability. The problem is, is you just are never motivated enough to schedule the massage.

[Tyler]

I think I've probably only been to, like, maybe two different, like, massage places, and I don't really want to venture out. I don't know why. One of those things where it's like, once you know a place is good, you, like, you don't want to venture out. God, you guys. I know. I hear all you all are thinking right now.

[Jared]

It's so good.

[Tyler]

They haven't even been shut down yet, which is awesome.

[Miles]

Yeah. My last place got shut down. It was devastated.

[Tyler]

They got like, I'm just waiting to see the article in the newspaper. They're like, it shut down. I wish I could have used my mass. My couple's massage lives there.

[Ryan]

Robert Kraft ruined it for all of us.

[Tyler]

Got it.

[Jared]

You guys should get a massage before like June. Use that coupon.

[Miles]

Oh, before the summer series.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

Good rest of it.

[Tyler]

That's true.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

How's the knee?

[Tyler]

Wife's also pregnant, so I it. She can't really do massages right now.

[Miles]

They do.

[Ryan]

There's pregnancy massages.

[Tyler]

You can, but it's. It's not.

[Ryan]

I remember you do it like in a chair. They have a special chair so their belly like hangs through it. It.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So that it doesn't put any pressure on the baby.

[Miles]

I remember we got I and scheduled this couple's massage on vacation last year. And so she was pregnant and so they like she got the pregnancy one and she said like the lady was so not massaging her at all that she's like. I just felt like she was just rubbing her hands over.

[Ryan]

They're like more relaxation because it's like something with like all the like the reaction to your muscles being in continuously kneaded over like as a chemical. It's bad for the baby. So it's just like relaxation.

[Miles]

Don't get a massage then when you're at least pregnant. Good. Call Ryan.

[Ryan]

Give her one for like post maternity leave.

[Miles]

Yeah. Like at like 6ish weeks after.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You have a kid, make a coupon book yourself and give it to her.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Good for one free Ryan massage.

[Miles]

Little DIY massage.

[Jared]

6Ish weeks.

[Miles]

6, 6. 6 to 7ish weeks after you have the kid. I heard that that's like heightened when. When they really need it the most.

[Tyler]

They got the most stress running through their muscles.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You give her a coupon. It's a good for a one couple's massage. I massage your back, you massage my feet.

[Miles]

Funny thing about my feet. They're located on my.

[Ryan]

We're just looking out for you.

[Tyler]

Can't laugh very hard, otherwise I'll start coughing.

[Ryan]

So we're trying to get you a kid number one.

[Tyler]

I haven't even had kid number two yet.

[Ryan]

I know, but we're can't. You can plan for the future.

[Tyler]

I'm not taking any advice from you on pumping kids out because.

[Ryan]

What do you mean? I'm good at it.

[Tyler]

No, I understand that best, but it just seems like I don't want my wife to have to be pregnant every month.

[Ryan]

Hey, just get him. Get him done.

[Tyler]

No, I don't want to get him done.

[Ryan]

It's. You're literally having kids at the exact same cadence. As me.

[Miles]

That doesn't seem right.

[Tyler]

Delayed.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

We're delayed by three, four years, though.

[Ryan]

Yeah, but it's still the same cadence ratio.

[Miles]

Yeah, well, you're like 27. You had your first kid at like 19.

[Ryan]

20. I am at 25.

[Miles]

Really?

[Ryan]

This is a perfectly normal age.

[Miles]

I thought I was like 20. Yeah.

[Ryan]

No.

[Miles]

Who's your wife?

[Ryan]

Yeah, she was 21.

[Miles]

There we go. That's what it was. I knew. I knew it was in there somewhere.

[Jared]

This fun fact is more of a question. Then I'll tell you the fun fact.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Jared]

How would I rephrase this? Oh, God. I already screwed this up. Which is the only US state capital without McDonald's.

[Tyler]

Like McDonald's in the city or actually in the capitol building.

[Miles]

Gotta be Honolulu.

[Jared]

Nope.

[Ryan]

I. I'm gonna say no. I've seen one there.

[Tyler]

Are we overthinking it?

[Miles]

Boise?

[Jared]

Nope. Well, I'll just name all cap southeast.

[Ryan]

Without a McDonald's.

[Miles]

Montpelier.

[Jared]

Bingo.

[Tyler]

Is that Vermont?

[Jared]

Yep. And also I was have the smallest population of any state capital with just over 8, 000 residents.

[Tyler]

Wow.

[Ryan]

No.

[Miles]

Oh, you know, I know how I remember.

[Ryan]

Montpelier is your last name.

[Miles]

Vermont is the same as Montpelier and it's my last name.

[Tyler]

So get a whole Vermont. Peelier.

[Miles]

Vermont Peelier. What's the capital of.

[Ryan]

Here we go.

[Miles]

New Hampshire?

[Tyler]

Harrisburg?

[Ryan]

Hartford.

[Jared]

No, it's Connecticut.

[Tyler]

New Hampshire. York.

[Ryan]

Concord.

[Miles]

I think it's Concord. I'm all rusty.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I think Hampshire.

[Miles]

Concord. Connecticut. What'd you say? Hartford.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. Got him down. Maine. Augusta. Michigan. Lansing. Kentucky. Frankfurt.

[Ryan]

Oh, Arkansas.

[Miles]

Arkansas is Little Rock. That's like so easy. That one is.

[Jared]

That's all I got.

[Miles]

Good to go.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I don't have any capitals of cuision.

[Ryan]

What's Tennessee's Knoxville?

[Tyler]

Nashville.

[Ryan]

It is.

[Jared]

Oh, it is Nashville. Yeah, that's right.

[Ryan]

Because it's always like. Not always, but it feels like it's never the one you think.

[Miles]

Well, is that it?

[Jared]

That's it.

[Miles]

Guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of youf Betcha Radio podcast. We'll see you in the next one. Love you guys.

[Tyler]

Two bloods jumping on a hollow stage Cancer silence and filled with rage Shoveling fear while the crowd just stares Moms can't sing but nobody cares on the naughty list we don't even care Off a proposal in the cold night air train ring for a rod at the fishing spot who needs love unless a twisted plot Blue blood stripping on a hollow stage Kids are talentless and filled with rage Shoveling fear while the crowd just stares Miles can't sing but nobody cares on the nihilist I don't even care I'm a proposal in the cool night air Trading a ring for a rod at the fishing spot who needs love unless a twisted plot.

[Jared]

Naughty list.

[Tyler]

But don't even care Offer proposal in the cool night air Trade a ring for a rod at the fishing spot who needs love when life's a twisted plot.

[Jared]

Workplace question. How do I politely tell a co worker who is trying to do stuff outside of work to F off?

[Miles]

I'm gonna assume this is strictly platonic. Where are you going?

[Jared]

He's got Ice's knee. He's got a pee.

[Miles]

He's limping bad, by the way.

[Ryan]

Now he's running. He's fine. He can play.

[Miles]

I'm gonna assume this is strictly baton. That would be funny. He turns the corner, forgets there's a window there. And yes, he's just fine.

[Ryan]

He did, he took off when he turned the corner.

[Jared]

He had a little limp.

[Miles]

This is a strictly platonic relationship, I'm guessing.

[Jared]

Yeah. It sounds like.

[Miles]

Because doing stuff outside of work could be like hand stuff, you know, But I'm gonna guess it's he only wants.

[Ryan]

To do hand stuff at work. No. No hand stuff.

[Miles]

No. Outside of work.

[Ryan]

Yeah. He doesn't want to do. He only wants to do it at work, not outside.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Keep work at work.

[Miles]

Yeah. You got to feel the situation out. Cuz there's a certain type of person that no matter what excuse you come up with, like they'll always ask, you know, because you have, you have some friends that you invite him to enough stuff. Eventually you're like, why do. Let's just not even invite him. He's not going to show up anyways. You just, you just don't ask him.

[Ryan]

To do stuff, get taken off the roster.

[Miles]

This guy feels like he's going to keep him on the roster at all times. I, I think you gotta weigh it out. Right. So I think we've had a similar question like this before and I think some of my advice was go hang out with them and be such a terrible time.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That you don't get asked again. So that's one option. I think another option is, is you really gotta go. All right, if I just tell him, no, I don't want to hang out. And you take that off the chin. Right. It's gonna be absolute three minutes of just sheer uncomfortableness. Is that worth not getting asked again? Can I endure three minutes of pain?

[Ryan]

But it's three Minutes of pain every time you see them from there on out.

[Miles]

But you could say it in a way that it doesn't linger.

[Tyler]

You can still be cordial too.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

It's not like you have to quit saying hi.

[Miles]

But what's kind of funny, You. You. He's. He's being nice to you. You're annoyed about it. So then you eventually go like, you put your foot down like, dude, I. I just don't really want to hang out. And then it flips because then after that, every time at work, you are trying to be nice to him.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

While he's being annoyed of you.

[Jared]

He's got leverage. Almost.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So it actually is kind of a win win for you. Now not only do you not have to hang out with this guy, you now get to annoy this guy who's annoyed.

[Jared]

Then once you feel bad, you can ask him to hang out with you.

[Ryan]

And he'll say no. And then it's a cycle.

[Miles]

No. Then when he says no, you're like, we're even.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

Can we start over?

[Jared]

Deal done.

[Miles]

And, like, pull out a contract. So, like, neither of us will ask each other to hang out ever. Both sign it. Be good.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Or just tell them your wife won't let you be. Like, my wife's. My wife knows a little bit about you and she isn't a huge fan and she won't let me hang out.

[Jared]

My wife's a total bitch.

[Miles]

Yeah. Just talk about your wife.

[Tyler]

Yeah, just. You throw the blame on her. Throw the blame on someone else. If. If you like, if you do not want to say no.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That's actually maybe a good product we could put out as a company is just excuses book. And we can have expansion packs because eventually people are going to run out of them. Right. Like, let's say we come up with a thousand excuses and put them on a little flip book. Kind of like like the flipbook for Christmas. For Christmas. Responses to getting gifts. Just excuses for not wanting to hang out.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And you just flip through them and like, okay, you've done a thousand of them. You buy the you bet you expansion pack. And you could even buy them with themes. You know, if it's like he keeps asking you to go to trivia night. We'd have a whole trivia themed excuses.

[Jared]

I've never seen Harry Potter before.

[Miles]

Never seen Harry Potter.

[Ryan]

That's a really good one for Harry Potter trivia.

[Miles]

It is.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I've never seen the lady in the Tramp.

[Jared]

You know, it's like 50 of them, right? There.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's like just every Disney movie. I've never seen Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, so kind of a hole in my Harry Potter game.

[Jared]

See the rest of them, but I.

[Miles]

See the rest of them that are good, but I just never got around to number five. Didn't make the Goblet of Fire. I'm not a big goblet guy.

[Tyler]

You know, I've only seen the first 10 seasons of Grey's Anatomy, so I'm not super touched up on the last.

[Ryan]

People that would actually. You'd actually be because it was like 40 seasons.

[Miles]

I'm actually kind of a Gray's Anatomy purist, and I think these late seasons are kind of. So, Yeah, I just, I'm kind of not that useful. I'm mostly dead weight, you know? These are the type of excuses you're gonna get from the you betcha excuse book.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And you can buy it at. Oh, you betcha dot com. You have two days to get that on the website. Right, man.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Okay. Digital copies coming your way.

[Miles]

PDFs made by chat, GBT coming your way.

[Jared]

And audio books.

[Tyler]

That. That won't be that hard.

[Miles]

We kind of have a fun brainstorm session. Yeah, guys, we've done all these excuses before. Come on, let's come up with something good. We've done diarrhea. We've done. I don't know them.

[Ryan]

I'm tired. I can't think of anymore. Right.

[Tyler]

Put that down.

[Jared]

Enough excuses out of you.

[Tyler]

Wait, We've done all these excuses is. I've already been to Gray's Anatomy trivia. I don't need to go a second time.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

That's the sequel.

[Miles]

Yeah. I got rid of Hulu or whatever it's called.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So, yeah, get yourself. You bet your excuse book.

[Ryan]

You have no excuse.

[Miles]

You have no excuse. They're going to respond, be like, oh, you know, I, I, I don't have any cash on me right now. Now. Great excuse. They're gonna give excuses to us on why not to buy excuse book.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's good, guys.

[Miles]

If you want more, you bet your radio, you gotta check out our Patreon. You gotta go to patreon.com you betsradio, or look us up on the app. And we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you gotta check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.