Too Many Charcuterie Boards

Summary

Podcast Summary: You Betcha Radio

Episode: "Too Many Charcuterie Boards"

Date: August 18, 2025

Host & Crew: Myles (The You Betcha Guy), Ryan, Tyler, Jerrod
Theme: Midwest wedding gift culture, comedic takes on problem-solving, nostalgia, and man-culture camaraderie

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on an all-too-relatable Midwest problem: the overwhelming abundance of charcuterie boards received as wedding gifts. The gang riff on creative (and absurd) ways to repurpose, regift, or hilariously dispose of excessive engraved cutting boards. The tone is classic "You Betcha"—down-to-earth, tongue-in-cheek, and full of Midwestern charm.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

The Midwest Charcuterie Board Problem

• The Issue: The groom reveals that, in just seven days leading up to his wedding, he's received eight new charcuterie boards as gifts—on top of the five they already own.
  • Quote (Groom, 00:00): “So far there have been eight different charcuterie boards shown to the house. We already had it five. That's double digit charcuterie board.”
• Total Tally: 13 charcuterie boards received, most of them personalized (“10 handmade charcuterie boards with my last name and a specific date on them”).

Creative (and Hilarious) Solutions

• Sell or Upcycle:
  • Set up a tent at a street fair to resell boards (00:15)
  • Sand off dates/names, refinish, and repurpose as cutting boards for deer or fish (00:35, 00:38)
  • “It's not a charcuterie board, it's a LEGO board.” (Brother, 01:09)
  • Turn them into coasters, Etsy shop samples, or even TV trays (01:16, 01:21, 02:00)
• Regifting:
  • Give them as gifts to future family newlyweds (02:09)
  • Groomsmen/bridesmaid gifts: “Instead, give them out as groomsmen and bridesmaid gifts at the wedding.” (Brother, 02:32)
  • Wedding party favors, first come first serve style: “First 13 people who show up to the wedding get a koozie and a charcuterie board.” (Friend 1, 02:47)
• Use at Wedding Reception:
  • Serve charcuterie at the reception atop each gifted board (Friend 2, 04:16)
  • Forget and “accidentally” leave them behind for the original gifters to reclaim (Brother, 05:04)

The Midwest Guilt & Excuses Loop

• Excuses for Not Using the Gifts:
  • “Oh yeah, we brought it to a party and forgot it there. We'll get it next time.” (Friend 2, 06:40)
  • “It's out at the lake. Lake cootery board.” (Friend 1, 06:48)
• Guilt Trip Self-Talk:
  • “It's a great way to get out of a weird situation. Just get pissed at yourself. I am such an idiot. God damn it.” (Brother, 07:08)

Nostalgic Midwest References & Comedy

• The hosts joke about classic Midwest solutions—using boards to level tippy tables, as makeshift blankets (“My blanket was made of wood!” 06:01), hunting accessories, accent walls, even “blankets” for sleepovers.
• Memorable scenario: Breaking a charcuterie board over one’s head out of frustration (07:43).

Wedding Attendance Memories & Snafus

• Delving into wedding arrival faux pas—showing up late due to “roundabouts” (03:24–03:39), missing the start, calling the groom last minute.
• Midwestern modest pride about table counts (“If you have more than 13 tables, you’re probably doing something wrong." – Brother, 04:16)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Notable Quote or Moment | |-----------|----------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00 | Groom | “So far there have been eight different charcuterie boards shown to the house. ... That's double digit charcuterie board.” | | 00:38 | Friend 1 | "You just turn them into cutting boards at that point." | | 01:09 | Brother | “It's not a charcuterie board, it's a LEGO board.” | | 02:32 | Brother | “Give them out as groomsmen and bridesmaid gifts at the wedding.” | | 02:47 | Friend 1 | “First 13 people who show up to the wedding get a koozie and a charcuterie board.” | | 04:16 | Brother | “Serve charcuterie at your wedding on the boards. ... If you have more than 13 tables, you're probably doing something wrong.” | | 05:24 | Brother | “Like your old shirts, like, cut them up and put them into a blanket. Could do some sort of thing like that with the charcuterie boards.” | | 06:01 | Friend 2 | “My blanket was made of wood.” | | 06:40 | Friend 2 | “Anytime anyone that gave you one asks where it is, you'd be like, 'Oh yeah, we brought it to a party and forgot it there.'” | | 07:08 | Brother | “It's a great way to get out of a weird situation. Just get pissed at yourself. I am such a idiot. God damn it.” | | 07:43 | Friend 1 | “You pull that charcuterie board out and break it over your head, God damn it.” |

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Important Segments with Timestamps

• 00:00 – 01:11: Unpacking the charcuterie overload dilemma; initial solution brainstorming.
• 01:12 – 02:42: Upcycling, alternative uses, and Etsy/shop jokes.
• 02:43 – 03:42: Midwest wedding attendance stories, groomsmen/bridesmaid gift ideas.
• 04:11 – 05:24: Reception logistics, accidental regifting, nostalgia for hand-me-down blankets.
• 05:40 – 06:19: Wild upcycling ideas: accent walls, wood blankets, and recasting the boards.
• 06:40 – 07:34: Dealing with Midwest guilt—creative excuses for not displaying the gifts.
• 07:35 – Close: Final comedic riffs, self-deprecating humor, and (briefly) Patreon plug.

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Overall Tone & Takeaway

The episode masterfully captures the absurdities and heart of Midwest culture, particularly the overload of personalized wedding gifts and the guilt-ridden hospitality that follows. Packed with laugh-out-loud moments and blue-collar inventiveness, it’s a loving roast of rural customs—and a survival guide for every couple wondering what the heck to do with their pile of engraved cutting boards. Cheers!

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Transcript

[Groom]

How do I stop getting charcuterie boards? About to get tied down in roughly seven days and have started getting wedding gifts. So far there have been eight different charcuterie boards shown to the house. We already had it five. That's double digit charcuterie board.

[Brother]

Please help, brother. Thirteen charcuterie boards total. I think what you do is you go down to the street fair and you just pop up a tent, start selling. Jerk. That 13 is enough to have a.

[Friend 1]

10 handmade charcuterie boards with my last name and a specific date on them.

[Brother]

Well, no, just take a sander and sand it down.

[Friend 1]

Good point.

[Brother]

There you go.

[Friend 1]

Point restain. Yeah, I guess if you didn't want to do that, I mean you got a, you got like a deer. Deer meat processing cutting board. You have a fish cutting. You just turn them into cutting boards at that point.

[Friend 2]

Yeah, still a crazy amount of cutting board.

[Friend 1]

It's crazy.

[Brother]

Well, so. Yeah, so just pull. Yeah, put a shar. Start putting them as decorations up on the walls in different rooms.

[Friend 1]

You could like building Legos. Just have them build a LEGO set, like a LEGO set on the charcuterie board. So you have.

[Brother]

Yeah, it's not a shririe board, it's a LEGO board.

[Friend 2]

I mean if you're handy, you can make like nightstands with them. Have them be the countertop.

[Friend 1]

It's a good point. You could also cut them. Cut, cut them. Cut squares out of them and make them as coasters.

[Brother]

You could sell them on Etsy and you know how like they have like examples where they actually show the engraving you can get and then have a, that can do custom engravings and then just send them yours and they'd be like, oh, sorry, we, we like accidentally sent you the wrong one. You just keep it and then shut down your shop.

[Groom]

Say it's a collector's item.

[Friend 1]

Shut down shop.

[Friend 2]

Since you order this, we've gone out of business. So we're not going to be able to get you.

[Friend 1]

Yeah, we have, yeah, we have a lot of money.

[Friend 2]

On their page it says active one hour ago.

[Brother]

Yeah, Just using them as like TV trays. You just set on your lap, you know.

[Friend 1]

Yeah.

[Brother]

Put your, you sit and watch it on the couch. Just put that in there and then put your plate on top of there.

[Friend 2]

These, these things say your last name on them. Just start gifting them out to everybody in your family when they get married.

[Brother]

It would suck if the date was date date ru. But it's also like, remember our wedding you love so much? Here's a charcuterie board with our last name and the date on it. Because you love your wedding so much.

[Friend 1]

Yeah.

[Brother]

Instead, give them out as groomsmen and bridesmaid gifts at the wedding.

[Groom]

There we go.

[Brother]

Yep, There we go.

[Friend 2]

There should be enough.

[Friend 1]

Well, I was gonna say, I'd love.

[Brother]

To see episode 31 kind of compete with that type of brain.

[Friend 1]

I was gonna say, normally people do koozies with, like, the name and then the date on it. Like, say, all right, hey, the first 13 people who show up to the wedding get a koozie and a charcuterie board.

[Groom]

There we go. Right?

[Friend 1]

Boom. Look, create a little bit.

[Brother]

I love how it's like. I. I love how it's like. You, like, weddings, have a problem with people not showing up early enough.

[Friend 2]

Like, people are popping in mid ceremony.

[Brother]

Yeah, like a. Like a. Yeah.

[Friend 1]

If Tyler did that at his wedding, we. We would not have been getting a charcuterie report.

[Friend 2]

No.

[Brother]

That is fully Anne's fault.

[Friend 1]

Yeah.

[Brother]

We were destined to be on time. All she had to do was stay in the roundabout. You stay in the roundabouts.

[Friend 1]

Y.

[Brother]

Stay in the roundabout. Exited.

[Friend 1]

Yep.

[Brother]

We were on 10 to 12 minutes.

[Friend 1]

To our route, and I think we had to. I had to call you.

[Friend 2]

You did?

[Friend 1]

15 minutes before your wedding?

[Friend 2]

Yep.

[Groom]

That's terrible.

[Friend 1]

I know, and I still feel bad you called him. I think so. Because either we had the. The wrong address, or I. I don't know. Something.

[Friend 2]

Hey, like, hey, can you hold off on the wedding till we get there?

[Friend 1]

Keep that drone on the. Keep it. Keep that drone grounded.

[Brother]

Don't waste battery.

[Friend 2]

It was a sur. Actually, though, if I would be so annoyed if I showed up to a wedding and they're like, here's a charcuterie board to carry around. Keep that on you the rest of the night.

[Groom]

Took, like, the bus shuttle there.

[Friend 2]

Yeah. All those charcuterie boards would get left at their table at the dinner.

[Brother]

No, what you should do is take all those charcuterie boards. Serve charcuterie at your wedding on the boards. You got to have 13 tables for sure. If you have more than 13 tables, you're probably doing something wrong. Right?

[Groom]

People don't.

[Friend 2]

Like, I feel like you had more than 13 tables.

[Brother]

I know. We did something wrong. We made it too big.

[Friend 2]

Yeah.

[Brother]

Anyways, technically, do you want the technicality? Because technically, there was, like. It was mostly just, like, eight really long tables, so I think we had 20 some.

[Friend 2]

Yeah.

[Brother]

All right. Your favorite. Thirteen people get free charcuterie. You serve it on those. The people gave it to be like, oh, my God, they're using the charcuterie board we gave them, and then you just forget to take them home when.

[Groom]

I get new housing now it's their problem.

[Brother]

Yeah. They can burn them. Or you could do burn pile.

[Friend 1]

I was just going to say you could. You could just take a chop saw and like, really thin pieces. Great kindling.

[Brother]

Yeah.

[Friend 1]

Usually it's like some sort of ochre black walnut. Black walnut is great piece of wood.

[Brother]

Or just do just like, remember your grandma or whoever used to make a blanket out of your shirts from high school. You remember that? Like your old shirts, like, cut them up and put them into a blanket. Could do some sort of thing like that with the charcuterie boards.

[Friend 2]

You know, make a whole kitchen table.

[Brother]

Make it. Yeah, just piece them together and make something out of them, like accent wall or accent wall. Maybe even a blanket, you know.

[Friend 2]

Comfy?

[Friend 1]

Yeah. I mean, you could just. You put that over your kid's box spring with a little. Little mattress or. I don't know.

[Groom]

It's all it even.

[Brother]

Okay.

[Friend 2]

My day, my blanket was made of wood.

[Brother]

Yeah.

[Friend 1]

If you.

[Brother]

If you have a. If you have a. Like a. A table that's kind of tippy, just slide one.

[Friend 2]

Yep.

[Friend 1]

Yeah.

[Groom]

Or, yeah, you have a sleepover, your buddy needs a blanket. Just give him that one blanket.

[Brother]

Caleb. A blanket comes out with like, four charcuterie boards just clacking. Here you go, man.

[Groom]

That's real cool.

[Friend 2]

Oh, here's a pillow. Grabs another one.

[Friend 1]

You could use them for sighting deer rifles in the fall.

[Brother]

Yep. And you can stack them higher if you need them.

[Friend 2]

Just make sure. And every time anyone that gave you one asks where it is, you'd be like, oh, yeah, we brought it to a party and we forgot it there. We're just. We'll we'll get it next time we go back.

[Friend 1]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's out at the lake. Yep, it's a lake. Lake cootery board.

[Groom]

Then they're at the lake.

[Brother]

You're like, you know what? Last weekend we took it home.

[Friend 1]

You made me think of it. We brought that soccer home. For God. You were coming.

[Groom]

You pretend to get so mad at yourself.

[Brother]

It's a great way to get out of a weird situation. Just get pissed at yourself. I am such a idiot. God damn it.

[Friend 1]

I always do this.

[Brother]

Oh, I'm so sorry about that. God, I'm just a moron.

[Friend 1]

And then you're so mad.

[Brother]

This is why my wife hates me.

[Groom]

Surprise. You're still married.

[Brother]

This is why my dad left.

[Friend 1]

Golly, you get so mad at yourself.

[Brother]

Oh, okay. Yeah. Does anyone need anything to drink?

[Friend 1]

You pull that charcuterie board out and break it over your head, God damn it.

[Friend 2]

Yeah.

[Brother]

Fuck.

[Friend 1]

I just need to break something. Oh, that was your charcuterie board. Whoops.

[Groom]

Yeah, it's your old aunt.

[Brother]

Guys, if you want more, you betcha. Radio, you gotta check out our Patreon. You gotta go to patreon.com, you betchradio. Or look us up on the app. And we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you gotta check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.