Unwritten Rules of Vacation 🎙 #367

Summary

You Betcha Radio #367 – Unwritten Rules of Vacation

Date: March 4, 2026
Hosts: Myles (You Betcha Guy), Ryan, Tyler, Jerrod
Theme: Midwest humor, man culture, and the lighter side of “unwritten rules” on vacationing.

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Episode Overview

In this lively and laid-back morning episode, the You Betcha crew gathers to riff on everything from Midwest winter road conditions and changing sleep habits to the true nature of morning TV and the sacred, unwritten rules that govern family vacations. Sprinkled throughout are personal stories, classic bits, and plenty of inside jokes that reflect their signature style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Winter Driving & Midwest Weather Woes

[00:51 - 02:59]

• The crew commiserates about rough winter roads, recalling a harrowing six-hour drive back from Bismarck, ND.
• Jokes about "quitter mentality" when one friend wanted to sleep at a rest stop instead of powering through.
• Notable Moment: Casual bird-watching while missing a turn due to icy roads:
  • Ryan: "I saw like 20 pheasants on the side of the road together, and I'd never seen that before." [01:39]

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2. Morning Podcast, Sleep Habits, and Midwest Parental Bedtimes

[02:59 - 04:49]

• The novelty of recording in the morning sparks talk about who are morning people.
• Midwest parents are infamous for early bedtimes and equally early mornings.
• Myles, on his parents: "They go to bed at like 7:30 and then they're up at 4:00 in the morning." [04:05]
• Jokes about being unable to sleep without the TV on (specifically Jimmy Fallon).

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3. Midwest Takes on TV: Morning & Late-Night Show Critique

[05:00 - 09:02]

• Light-hearted roast of Jimmy Fallon's style and antics.
• Short digression on "Stump Mark" from Kelly and Mark Live, and the underwhelming prize (just a T-shirt).
• Myles: "Stump, Stump. Mark doesn't play as good on live television as it does on a podcast." [08:35]
• Running joke about podcast bits being "stolen" by national shows.

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4. Life in News & Local Reporting

[10:00 - 17:46]

• Tyler shares war stories from working on the local morning show at 3:30 AM, including segment planning, scanner listening, and responding to minor/major incidents.
• Experience with shooting guns for a report, differentiating fireworks and gunshots—a much-needed PSA in Fargo.
• "It's like, half the time, you can tell the difference between an AR and a repeating firework because there's no crackle or whistle on the gun." – Tyler [19:11]

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5. [19:56] – Game Time: "Firework or Gunshot?"

• The crew tries to guess the audio of fireworks versus gunshots.
• Results are hilariously inconclusive.
• Myles: "All right, here we go. Here we go, guys. This is a new segment here on YBR: Firework or gunshot?" [19:56]

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6. Main Theme: Unwritten Rules of Vacation

[21:42 - 37:30]

Pronunciation Debate

• Midwest vs. other regions: "vacation" vs "vaycation" – a recurring bit and inside joke.

Unwritten Rules, According to the Crew:

• Wake Up Whenever You Want

  • "Regardless if the kids are up, as long as the doors are locked… you can sleep as long as you want." – Ryan [23:13]

• Calories Don’t Count

  • Permission to let loose on food choices—vacation is a dietary free-for-all.

• Every Trip Needs “The Spot”

  • You must return to (and talk ad nauseam about) your designated favorite restaurant or bar every trip, even if it’s just a bit for social clout.
  • Myles’ running bit: His favorite "Mexican sushi" restaurant in Cambodia—the infamous “The Boat.”

• No Set Meal Times

  • "You could eat breakfast at 9:00am, lunch at 2:00pm, and supper at 9:00pm—or whenever. There’s no set meal time." – Crew [27:52]

• Travel Clothes: The Sloppier, the Better

  • Everyone admits to "dressing like a bum" at the airport and on travel days.
  • Extended bit about the relief of "de-knuckling" jeans (fixing bunching in the crotch), dubbed the male equivalent of removing a bra. [29:21]

• Discussing the Flight is Required

  • It's a Midwest must: Upon arrival, deeply discuss all details of the flight (good, bad, or average).
  • "You have to comment on how the flight was." – Myles [30:47]

• Overpay for a Useless Souvenir

  • Purposefully buy at least one overpriced trinket or snack, just for the bit.

• Don’t Care About Your Appearance

  • "You're willing to take more risks on vacation—wardrobe, accessories, whatever." – Myles [33:12]

• Gift Wars

  • Friendly argument about bringing gifts back for coworkers; Miles insists, "I don’t do another gift until I get one in return." [34:00]

PTO and Work/Life Balance

[35:14 - 37:30]

• Reflection on "unlimited vacation" work policies—often a double-edged sword.
• "People end up taking less vacation because they don’t want to be the one abusing it." – Ryan

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7. Local Business & Midwest Attractions

[37:35 - 41:22]

• Slick City, a heavily advertised "indoor slide park," gets roasted for being "too slick."
• Discussion about local businesses, silly injuries, and viral marketing hits/misses.

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8. Life Hacks, Midwest Nostalgia & Patron Questions

[41:32 - End]

• Erasers, chalkboards, and getting to "beat the erasers" was grade school gold.
• Extended riff on cheating in school, teacher’s pets, and the power moves of office hours.
• Marketplace Negotiating 101: Ryan gives his pro tips for negotiating on Facebook Marketplace—be direct, offer cash, and pick a specific time.
  • "Don't go too low—start realistic and always name your price first." [58:37]
• Pranks involving remotes taped under desks in high school, and confessions of cheating/coping strategies in school.
• Tips on negotiating, getting out of jammed drawers, and selling stuff online.
• Bar hijinks: Power of the bar remote and best “annoying” songs to play on Touch Tunes ("I'm Blue," "Baby Shark").
• Rapid-fire cereal mixing suggestions for “brunch cereal innovation.”
• Fun fact: It is technically possible to forge a sword out of the iron from 300 human bodies—leading to a series of macabre but funny jokes. [67:20]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Gift Wars:
  "Well, first of all, I already gave my gift. I don't give another gift until I get one in return. That’s how that works." – Myles [34:00]

• On Traveler’s Attire:
  "You don't want your nuts getting hugged on the plane… Moose knuckles. The worst." – Myles [28:52]

• On Eating on Vacation:
  "No set meal time. I could eat my hard-boiled egg at 4:20am. Got it." – Myles [28:15]

• On Buying Junk:
  "You have to overpay for something whether you want to or not… could be a keychain, could be a tourist trap." – Jerrod [41:43]

• On Marketplace Negotiation:
  "The more direct you are with people and like giving them a time is that’s the best… Friday at 6pm, I’m gonna have $1,100 cash." – Ryan [58:37]

• On Midwest Vacation Essentials:
  "Calories do not count." – Crew [26:40]
  "You're willing to take more risks on vacation — wardrobe, dweeby sunglasses, accessories, anything." – Myles [33:12]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:51] – Winter roads story/missed turn/roadside pheasants
• [04:05] – Parents' bedtimes and Midwest sleep culture
• [05:00] – Jimmy Fallon / Kelly and Mark Live parody
• [10:14] – Morning show horror stories
• [13:08] – Crime shift stories and scanner anxiety
• [19:56] – "Firework or Gunshot?" Game
• [21:42] – Introduction to unwritten rules of vacation
• [23:13] – Rule 1: Wake up whenever
• [26:40] – Rule 2: Calories don’t count
• [27:52] – Rule 3: No set meal times
• [34:00] – Gifts and workplace dynamics
• [37:35] – Slick City debate
• [41:32] – School nostalgia: chalkboards and cheating
• [58:37] – Facebook Marketplace negotiation lesson
• [66:31] – Cereal debates
• [67:20] – Fun fact: sword from blood
• [69:36] – Sign-off banter

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Episode Character and Tone

True to form, this episode is easygoing, irreverent, and crammed with Midwest relatability. The crew toggles between roasting each other, nostalgia, life hacks, and grounded (but hilarious) advice about work, family, and travel. The humor is self-deprecating, quick-witted, and uniquely Midwest.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a prime example of You Betcha Radio’s winning formula: blending nostalgia, Midwest quirks, real life tips, and friend-group banter, all centered on themes both deeply local and universally relatable. Whether you’re planning your next vacation or just need a laugh about cold roads, awkward flights, or that $8 magnet, this is Midwest comedy and camaraderie at its finest.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome back to another episode. Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of you Bet. Your radio podcast. This podcast is a little different because we're doing it in the morning. Kind of still have my morning voice. Can you tell? A little bit. A little bit.

[B]

It's like NPR right now.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Cleared the throat fully.

[A]

Got a tickle in my throat.

[C]

What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?

[D]

Hey.

[A]

Oh, hey, Tyler. Yeah, we're. We're fully in the episode.

[C]

Damn. We're done with the first segment.

[D]

It's a podcast.

[A]

I mean, you interrupted.

[D]

So interrupt. I came in exactly when I was supposed to.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Stressful drive, guys.

[A]

Now we're doing a bit. We're gonna pretend like we were upset at you when he came in. I thought you were gonna come in way later, honestly. So in my mind, you're early. Well, I did.

[D]

I got up and left early to plan for the shitty roads, but I did not plan hard enough.

[C]

Okay. And I was. Then. Yeah, he just. You got me. Because I was gonna be like, well, why don't you plan ahead?

[A]

We did plan, but. You did plan.

[D]

Yeah, it was. It was rough in a couple of stretches.

[C]

Oh, I missed the turnout here. I just slid right by it.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you go all the way down to the interstate to turn around?

[C]

No, I just. I. I went to the next row and I just whipped a quick ue the shitty. But saw a rooster down there, so it was worth it. Dude.

[D]

Do pheasants, like, travel together? Wild ones in the way.

[C]

Yeah. This time of year, they'll group up.

[D]

Okay. Because I saw like 20 of them on the side of the road together, and I'd never seen that before. Yeah.

[C]

Kind of like deer.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Also, with these. With these road conditions, keep your eyes on the road.

[D]

This is a different day.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Today I was old man, white, knuckled in the steering wheel.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Nothing will be worse, though, than the time we drove back from Bismarck.

[D]

Yeah. No. No, it did not hold a candle to that.

[A]

For those of you that don't know, we were at, what was it, Prairie Nights Casino for an event.

[B]

Yep. Feel lucky today.

[A]

Yeah. And there was a bit of weather that moved in, and we. We needed to drive from south of Bismarck back to Fargo, which normally is, what, a three hour drive?

[D]

Something like that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Six hours to get home. It was terrible. And Jake was driving and Drake. Jake wanted us to, like, pull over and go and stay in a motel that night.

[D]

He wanted to just sleep in a rest stop at one point.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

He's like let's just pull over here, chill for a few hours till the snow lets up.

[C]

That's quitter mentality.

[A]

No, and that's what I said. Jake. We're just. Let's go.

[D]

The only actual thing we could have done was just stay the night at the casino and then go. But then that six hours becomes 18.

[A]

That is true.

[C]

Well. And Jake's a recovering gambling addict, so that wouldn't have been good for him.

[A]

Is he.

[C]

No, I don't think so, but makes his story a lot better.

[D]

Check out.

[A]

That's why he wanted to stay.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

What were we even talking about after. Before Tyler completely derailed this?

[C]

I actually, I don't know.

[B]

We're talking about.

[A]

Are we talking about. It's the morning.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Good morning. What do you think the last time we did a regular YVR episode in the morning ever?

[D]

Well, we used to. Years ago in 1.0, we used to do them at like 10am okay. So we would start drinking beer at

[B]

10am so it's been five years.

[A]

Been five years. What are you guys morning people or. No.

[C]

Yeah, big time.

[A]

We know you are, Ryan.

[C]

I'm firing it on all cylinders.

[D]

I'm no Ryan, but I like. I like waking up at like a seven and I feel good when I wake up.

[B]

I'm a tweener.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not one way or the other.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like having a child is maybe more of a morning person,

[B]

but

[A]

yeah, I'm definitely staying up late.

[D]

Are your parents at the age where they go to bed at like 7:30 and then they're up at 4:00 clock in the morning?

[C]

My dad's been like that for 20 years.

[D]

My dad just started doing that like the last few years.

[A]

Like, what the.

[D]

He'd be like, yeah, he's like, we went to practice with my kid yesterday. He's like, I got to get out of here. It's bedtime. Like, it's fucking 7:15, dude.

[A]

Yeah, my parents are like that.

[B]

They're.

[A]

They're like staying up.

[D]

They're normal people.

[B]

Watch the news.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They always like watching late night shows too.

[D]

Boomers.

[A]

Oh, my God. My mom can't fall asleep unless the TV's on.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Jimmy Fallon playing Truth or Eat this obscure food.

[B]

That's a beggar for boomers.

[D]

I couldn't believe that was cake.

[C]

God, they loved.

[A]

No way that was cake.

[D]

What? I could have swore that that was not cake.

[A]

They also, you know, but I imagine the thing they're not a sucker for is all the tick Tock dances that Jimmy Fallon does, you know?

[C]

Yeah, definitely not.

[A]

Just back in the day, they used to do real comedy on the late show. Bring edibles on. You know, they. He does the little thing where him and his. Him and the band. What is his band called?

[D]

God, I don't know.

[B]

I go to bed too early.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I don't know. Him and his band do like, where they all like, get like a kid's instrument and then they play a song and he's always got the shake maker and then they, you know, get 12 of them in the boxes and they sing a song with it. Oh, my God, this is. Dude, he's so crazy.

[D]

Yeah, it's kind of like the Brady Bunch.

[A]

Yeah, it kind of looks like the Brady Bunch. Yeah. I mean, the only time I ever see anything like that now is clips.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

You're not gonna catch me watching the show once in.

[A]

Once in a while. Once in a while. Ann will flip on the Kelly. Kelly Ripa show.

[D]

Who's she with now?

[A]

It's her husband.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I remember his. God, it was. His name starts with an M. Yeah,

[B]

it's on the tip of my tongue too.

[D]

Mark.

[A]

Yes, Mark.

[D]

I just guessed.

[A]

I think it's like Kelly and Mark live. You know, this is Regis and Kelly before. And now it's Kelly and Mark live.

[D]

Since Regis left, it's been like four different dudes.

[B]

Yeah, well, she had beef with Michael Strahan.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, the only person that's willing to have a show with her is her husband at this point. Yeah.

[C]

Is she not a good gal or what?

[B]

Sounds like a behind the scenes, huh?

[A]

There's flair. Like one time I watch, I was watching and. And it turned. I was watching it and she started like, kind of making fun of him about how he is at the airport and he got like Tyler grilling mad, damn near at her because it's like

[D]

on the morning show. Yeah.

[A]

He's like started getting pissed at her because it was like clearly like a marital rift that they had that she's just like airing out now on live telev. And he was pretty pissed and it was kind of like I was definitely on Mark's side, right? Yeah. It's like, what are we doing here? This is crazy. She was not insane. She was being really dramatic and he was just not having it. But the other day, kind of in the same light of the say something crazy or eat this weird food, they had a segment called Stump Mark.

[D]

Good, good title.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Groundbreaking.

[A]

But it's funny is we do Stump Miles. But. But this is live broadcast of the entire nation. And someone calls in and they say that they give him two professions. And then he asks her question that he or she questions for 60 seconds. Then he has to decide which profession. Like, basically feel out what she lying about and what she's telling the truth about. But the funniest part is, like, you do a contest on live television like that you think you're like, gonna win some money if you stump him or like a trip or whatever. And like, the person stumped him and all she won was like, a T shirt that just said, I stumped Mark.

[D]

Hell yeah.

[C]

You know, she's probably gonna wear that though, religiously. And it's probably an xl, regardless of what size she is, because that's what every free T shirt is, is an xl.

[D]

Yep. It's the most common size, right. Yeah, that's why. Yeah.

[A]

A great bedtime T shirt.

[C]

Big time. Yeah. Sleeper tea.

[A]

But, you know, it just was like, I don't know. Stump, Stump. Mark doesn't play as good on live television as it does on a podcast. You know, also, maybe they stole our bit.

[D]

Maybe.

[A]

Maybe Mark's an avid YBR head.

[D]

Maybe he's just super stoked right now because you just offended him on the podcast.

[A]

Yeah. He's like, oh, they mentioned me. He's like, listen to this, Kelly.

[C]

Yeah. This is like the first.

[A]

Like, they're on my side. It's like the first about the airport thing you remember. I don't even remember what it was about.

[B]

His Patreon name is Ivana Tea Bag.

[D]

You. I hate.

[A]

My wife's a. Yeah, dude. I don't know. And then I'll just reach a point where I'm like, we're watching this. I'm like, what are we doing? Turn it to anything else. Yeah. Terrible.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Rather have it blank.

[C]

Yeah. I'd rather just sit in the dark.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Want to just talk to each other, maybe. Listen to these idiots.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And you know, it's not great television when your kid doesn't even watch it.

[D]

Yeah. You know, that is a good mark, actually, because even adult shows, if it's interesting enough, they'll get sucked into it.

[A]

So. Yeah, tough. It's tough out there. Stuff out there on the morning shows.

[B]

Nothing good.

[A]

Because I was thinking about in the shower this morning. I was thinking about, like, we're doing this podcast in the morning and it's just like, morning shows, like, don't like radio people in TV, don't they gotta wake up at like 3:30 in the morning.

[D]

So when I was on the morning show, I had to. I had to be. I was the first one in the station because I would stack the first hour which. The first hour starts at 4, so I'd be in at 3:30.

[C]

Holy.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

How can you even get functioning brains at that hour?

[D]

It was. It was really tough. When I had classes in the summer it was fine because that's just the schedule I operated on. But when I had college classes after that and then had to figure out when I was gonna sleep, that sucked ass.

[C]

Holy.

[D]

But in the summer it was fine. I just basically my. My day shifted from 3:30 to like 7:00'. Clock. I was like my dad. I was going to bed at 7:30, waking up at. At 3.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

Yeah. How are you supposed to get shit face on a Thursday night?

[D]

Mondays. Mondays were the worst because I would. My schedule would go back to normal college kid on the weekends and get drunk Thursday through Saturday. Yeah, it is sick, dudes.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

But then I'd have to go to work and it was not sick. But yeah, you're right. We were up really fucking early. Is one person from each station where it was the five of us were all in the building at the fab.

[A]

Five entered the building.

[D]

Yeah, we, we called ourselves the bit.

[C]

Well and then like, like if you're like kind of the. The weather, if you will, they. They'll send you outside anything.

[D]

Oh, like the guy's news. Oh yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh yeah. There's one guy on one of the news stations that's always having to take the worst things.

[C]

Yes. Yeah, it's too.

[A]

I like, I think it's funny every single time because he always, he always looks like he's panicking.

[D]

It's just, it's so cold out. You shouldn't be outside. Even though my boss made me go outside.

[C]

Y.

[A]

Like I think that. I think it started when there was riots going on downtown Fargo. And he was out in the thick of it and Ander, like, what are he doing? There's pepper. He's dodging pepper spray and smoke bombs and rubber bullets. You. Rubber bullets just rocks are flying around and he's like out there trying to report the news and it's like, dude, we get it.

[D]

Just back up.

[A]

Just. Just go to the station, leave your

[D]

camera here, go home.

[C]

Yeah, just like, can't you tap into like a street camera and just report from that?

[D]

There's CCTVs you have access to.

[C]

Yeah, let's just do that.

[D]

You remember when they. They did have one guy like on A roof of a building reporting down. That was the way to do it.

[A]

Like, that guy just wakes up and he's just like, I'm gonna go to work today and have to pull the shittiest assignment.

[D]

They're either like, you're going to go report on a death and a murder or a terrible crash or riots in town or a fucking benefit for the animal shelter. There's no in between for the low man's on the totem pole.

[C]

How's my day going to start today?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I worked the crime shift as a videographer late night. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You didn't know if it was going to be chaos or it was just going to be super chill.

[C]

Like, what does that mean? Are you driving around looking for crime?

[D]

You listen to the scanner.

[B]

You listen to the scanner. Oh, and it's like. Yeah, there's like a standoff or something. And that could happen anytime.

[C]

You go, is it pretty fun to listen to the scanner?

[D]

No, not at all. It's. The scanner becomes like a Pavlov's bell of bad shit. You hear the scanner kick in, and you're just. Heart drops. And then it's like, oh, somebody ran into a light pole in a parking lot at a restaurant.

[A]

You're like, okay, that was. Don't have to report on that. That wouldn't happen because that doesn't get called in.

[C]

That wasn't me.

[A]

It would maybe be. There's a car on Fire on 25th Street.

[D]

And then we'd have to go. We would have to go to that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And then you would just happen to see a guy nail a light pole. Then you got a secondary. You almost got a side story.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

We have a new development. Some moron just ran his truck into a light pole when there was no other cars in the entire parking lot.

[D]

I've ran his plates. It seems to be a Ryan Shealy. We're going to watch here and see if he calls the police and reports his crime. Doesn't look like he's going to. Yep. He's fleeing the scene. Yeah, he's playing the scene.

[A]

And the light bulb is leaning. It's. Oh, it's down. It's down.

[C]

It was not down.

[D]

No, there was.

[C]

There was no damage done to it.

[A]

Let's just build.

[C]

Well, I was going to ask you to. Jared, did you ever consider a career in, like, in Cops, the TV show, being the crime videographer?

[B]

Sort of. I did, actually.

[C]

Like, did you actually. Did it ever cross your mind, be like, I wonder what it would be like to work for cops.

[B]

Yeah, I did. At one point. I wanted to be, like, a photojournalist, go across the world and do video photojournalism. Like that.

[A]

Why? What happened? Why didn't you want to do that?

[B]

This is too much. I, I, I, I was kind of, like, worn out by the news. Crime beat. Yeah. That was just like, I say, for

[A]

me, you're like, oh, if I'm going to travel around the world, I have to travel around the world. That seems exhausting.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And you're always gone.

[D]

The world just doesn't come to me. I'm out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think what's kind of funny about blending news like traditional news and the Internet is I saw a clip of a gal that was on Tick Tock. Clip of a gallon. Fargo was on scene of a SWAT team entering whatever, and there was some loud bang, banging noises. And she's like, those are gunshots that I just heard. Whatever. And I hate it because I was like, I don't think those are gunshots.

[D]

They're for sure, like flashbangs or something.

[A]

And so I go, in the comments, everyone's like, you idiot, those were flashbacks.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Haven't you ever played Call of Duty? That was clearly a flashback.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

It's like this person's, like, already on high alert. She hears something that could be a gunshot, could be a flash, but whatever. And it's just like trying to report the news and do her job, and then it gets posted on the Internet and just gets roasted for not knowing the difference between a gunshot and a flashbang from, like, 400 yards away.

[D]

One of the number one rules of a live scene is to not report without confirmation. So you can't say they're gunshots.

[A]

Okay. So, okay, she was in the wrong.

[D]

She was. She. She could have said, I heard loud bangs. I'm not sure what they are. They could have. Could have been this, this, or this. You can't say I just heard gunshots.

[B]

These reporters are also, like, fresh out of college. They don't have a lot of life experience.

[A]

Yeah. You know, you've seen the scene of Bambi where he's trying to walk. You know, that was. That was her, obviously.

[C]

Sure. Makes sense.

[A]

One fresh out.

[D]

One. One Fourth of July. I had to work, and we had to come up with our own PA when on, like, holidays and stuff. And I wanted to mail it in. And we get a bunch of people on the Fourth of July that call in reports of gunshots that are just fireworks. So I did a package where I was like, I'm going to just light off a bunch of fireworks and shoot a bunch of guns and be like, here's the difference, you idiots. And so for a whole day, I just went to the Castleton Gun Range and shot guns and lit off fireworks. It was sick.

[A]

They let you do that.

[D]

I. I was in charge that day. It was my show.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Tyler. News story that got run on live.

[D]

You could find that story, I'm sure, somewhere.

[A]

What? It's pretty easy to tell the difference.

[D]

I. I know, totally. But every year people call in like there's gunshots going on in downtown Fargo. And they'd be like, are you sure it wasn't the fireworks that they're lighting off right now?

[C]

But don't they have to respond to that?

[D]

They do. So the Fargo police is the one that put out a post. They're like, hey, guys, before you call in with reports of gunshots, just make sure they're not fireworks first. So I'm like, there's my story for today.

[C]

Yeah, go check the scene to make sure they're not. Even if they are gunshots, make sure you go to the scene and check it out now.

[A]

So when. Because you also told me that there's a lot. No matter what you guys do in the news, there's always people pissed. Oh, yeah, we'll call in email the station. Were people. Was anyone mad at you for that segment?

[D]

I. I don't remember any specific hate for that one, to be honest.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[C]

What kind of gun were you shooting?

[D]

So I just brought all of my guns to the range, which was just a 12 gauge, a.25,06 and a 22. And then when I showed up, there was a bunch of dudes with really cool guns that let me shoot them for the story. So I shot some sort of army and I shot some big ass, like, I don't know what you call it. It's not just a really big rifle. I don't remember what caliber.

[C]

Like a.308 or a bigger than that.300 win mag.

[D]

Kick like a fucking mule. And I've shot big guns before, but yeah, it's sweet. It actually made the story way better because it was like it was just going to be 12 gauge, 25, 06 and 22, which nobody is just randomly firing in town anyway.

[A]

Yeah, maybe it's some rabbits. Maybe rabbit.

[D]

But yeah, so it ended up. You could find the story. You could look. Look me up, Ryan.

[C]

Yeah, I'm good. I would watch it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But yeah, I mean, the guns also just don't have Whistlers on them either.

[D]

Right. So it's like half the time, like, you could tell the difference between an AR and a repeating firework because there's no crackle or whistle on the gun.

[A]

What? A mortar shot. You know, the little one. Oneies that you throw the little balls in, they go. That's gotta sound close to like, probably close. Some sort of artillery shot. Yeah, they call them. Right. Everything always is about explosions and guns.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

M80 or something like that. It kind of sounds like a gunshot.

[D]

Yes. I think the. The big difference is the. Especially with the big fireworks is there's no clear pattern with a gun. Like, you can go, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. But with the firework, it's just.

[A]

This is a great segment. I like this, actually. All right, here we go. Here we go, guys. This is a new segment here on ybr. Firework or gunshot? Firework or gunshot?

[D]

Firework.

[B]

Firework.

[A]

Got it.

[D]

All right, that was good.

[A]

Firework or gunshot?

[C]

I'll go Firework. Roaming.

[A]

Firework is what it was.

[C]

Yeah. There's a Roman candle.

[D]

Inconsistent gap. Roman candles are.

[A]

We had multiple fireworks going off. They were lit at different times. Come on, man. You gotta foresee that.

[C]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

[A]

All right, I'll do. I'll do one more.

[C]

Okay, one to one.

[D]

Trick question.

[A]

Which one's that?

[D]

You open the window in a wind close.

[A]

Not it.

[C]

That was a gunshot.

[A]

That was. That was a firework. It was a smoke bomb.

[D]

That's a good one.

[A]

It's a smoke bomb.

[D]

Okay, I got one. You ready?

[A]

My scope. Oh, wow. Wow. That was such a low blow. I. I was really cool about you showing up late this morning and then you pull out on me.

[D]

It was just. It was just too perfect of a platform.

[B]

You were so cool about it, Miles.

[A]

Yeah, I was cool about it. I'm chill like that. I know. Yeah.

[C]

Does anyone know how fireworks explode under the water?

[D]

Don't start

[A]

doing that.

[B]

This is good for fourth of July.

[A]

Yeah. Actually, right now, as we do this podcast, I'm vacation when this comes out. Right.

[D]

You are chilling right now.

[A]

Cambodia. Chilling. You know, since I'm on vacation, I figured we could talk about some unwritten rules of vacation.

[C]

So vacation or vacation?

[D]

It's vae.

[A]

Vacation.

[C]

Okay. Because I. I'm. I. I say vacation.

[D]

That was the first time I ever called you out on this podcast. Episode 57.

[C]

And I've been getting better because I've not been noticing it more.

[A]

Vacation.

[C]

Vacation.

[D]

I was like, you say that weird

[C]

because it's not vacate. It's. You're gonna vacate the premises. Not vulcate the present. The. The premises.

[D]

Exactly.

[A]

It's also vacay. It's not. Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Correct.

[D]

You got pretty mad at me for calling you out, so I'm glad to see you.

[C]

I think I was more so double down.

[A]

We were much more testy back in the day, I feel like.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

We're growing kids. Low T. Yeah. You know. Yeah. The only person that doesn't got low T in this room is Jared.

[D]

Yeah. So we're getting to our window, though, where T's gonna come back. Are we? Yep.

[A]

It's a long window. It's a long window.

[C]

Very long window.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So unwritten rules. Vacation, guys, since we didn't get into that, more concerned about how it's vacation or vacation.

[D]

It's a morning podcast. We're not on our game.

[C]

I figured I have filler. I figured. Yeah, you could use. That was morning time.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you. So, Ryan, what's one of your unwritten rules of vacation?

[C]

I mean, obviously, first unwritten rule is you can wake up whenever you want.

[B]

Y.

[C]

Regardless of the kids are up, as long as the doors are locked, can't go outside, you can sleep as long as you want. Yep.

[A]

See, I love that idea. I don't know if that's actually true.

[C]

No, I, I don't know if I can actually pull that off. But if that's the case, you know, if I.

[A]

Right.

[D]

It's nice.

[A]

Your wife's like, get up, you deadbeat dad. You can be like, I'm on vacation.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

I, I. Whenever I want. 10:00am Whatever.

[D]

And then you get dragged out of bed by your ear. You're like.

[C]

Well, and especially like, if you're on. Let's say you're on the. If you're on the east coast. I mean, that makes sense because time change.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Jet lagged. And you got to give yourself at least two days to get the jet lag figure out. But in your. In your case in Cambodia, I think they're like four or five hours behind. So you might be up at midnight.

[B]

Four or five.

[A]

It's actually a completely different day in Cambodia.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So you're in the future.

[A]

Yeah. So it's crazy.

[B]

Is there any good restaurants you love the most in Cambodia?

[A]

There. There's this. There's this cool little corner spot.

[B]

Okay. You probably don't want to blow it up.

[A]

No, I mean, I'll. I'll give them a shout out. It's called the boat, by the way.

[D]

My humble abode.

[A]

Correct. It's a fun little playing words. I got a great sense of humor over there in Cambodia. And it's actually a really weird combination of like a breakfast spot, but also, like. How do I say it? It's like a. It's like a Mexican sushi place.

[C]

Like ceviche.

[A]

It's like, you know how, like, we have sushi restaurants here in the US they have Mexican sushi in Cambodia.

[D]

So Mexican sushi. It's like, instead of white rice, it's Mexican rice.

[A]

It's Mexican R. There's beans instead of like, instead of avocado, instead of avocado of that. There's beans in it. You know, instead of having like raw tuna, they just do like raw beef carnitas. They just do like tartar, tartar, tiger meat. It's like a beef tartar Mexican sushi roll.

[D]

Yummy.

[A]

So, yeah, but then they also just crush breakfast. You know, they. And my favorite part is they bring hard boiled eggs out in a little stand thing and they give you like a little. They give you like a little like tiny metal hammer thing and you just hit it on top of the egg

[D]

and you peel it. They call it the Humpty Dumpty. That's the breakfast.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

It's crazy too. I think I. Is this the place where the sushi. It's bigger than a regular sushi roll and they, like, wrap it in a tortilla?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[A]

You can. So like, very similar to like when we do, like shrimp tempura roll where they deep fry it.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Their version of deep frying it is just wrapping the roll in a tortilla so you can get it. I call it getting tortillaed.

[D]

Nice is what I call it.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

You have a great sense of humor, though.

[A]

And when I'm in Cambodia, I'm always throwing around great stuff like that. So, yeah, I cannot wait to get back to the boat and just suck down a Mexican sushi roll tortilla.

[D]

I mean, this is a great segue into a unwritten rule for vacation. It's calories do not count.

[A]

Calories do not count. I think another unwritten rule is you always got to have a spot that you go. If you go to a place multiple times, you always got to talk about a spot just like the way I did, you know, before you go on vacation, be like, oh, God, there's this great spot called the boat.

[C]

But also like. Yeah, don't tell me.

[A]

Yeah, the staff at the boat is. They're unbelievable, you know, and it's like, you Know, not all of them speak English. And so a lot of times it's just a lot of pointing at the menu, a lot of pointing at stuff. You know, I need more water.

[C]

A lot of translate this is water

[A]

in my sign language. Just going like this.

[D]

They just kept giving me whiskey sevens. Every time I did that though, I wanted water. But here we are.

[B]

Water tastes different out here.

[A]

But that's also the thing is Cambodia, you don't want to drink the water either.

[D]

Yeah. So thank God they didn't get your sign.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I think, I think to piggyback off of that unwritten rule. Another unwritten rule about food is there's no set meal time.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

On vacation, like you could be eating breakfast at, you know, 9:00am you could eat lunch at 2:00pm Yep. And then you could eat supper at 9 00pm or 4:00pm there's no set meal time.

[A]

Could you eat at like 10pm?

[C]

You could, yeah. You could eat. It could.

[A]

Well that eat like 7:32.

[C]

I mean my, my unwritten rule, like it feeds right in.

[A]

Well, I just, Yeah. I just want to make sure there's

[C]

no set meal time.

[A]

No set. So I could eat my hard boiled egg at like 4:20am there's no set meal time. Got it. All right. Now I fully understand that unwritten rule.

[B]

I would be like the last day of vacation, it's okay to wear the same clothes because you didn't pack enough. That's fine.

[D]

Yep. Yeah.

[C]

Kind of wear the same clothes home as you wore there.

[B]

Yeah. Traveling clothes.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Because I never pack enough. It's a problem.

[C]

Are you guys, do you guys kind of dress like a little bit slobby when you travel? Like.

[D]

Oh yeah, I'm a bum.

[C]

You're a bum.

[D]

Totally.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

How about you?

[A]

I'm a medium. I mean I try to avoid jeans. Yeah.

[C]

You know, you don't want your nuts getting hugged on the plane.

[A]

No. God. Moose knuckles. The worst.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Point seat.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because when you do start getting a little bit of knuckle going on and you finally do the like one of these where you pull your pants down a little bit and un knuckle. It's the best.

[D]

It's almost worth suffering through the knuckle just to relieve the knuckle.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean it makes, it makes it that much better when you get to relieve the knuckle.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And like if the people next to you are. If they're kind of looking at you like, what the you doing? You can just say like knocks and then open up. Open up your legs towards them.

[D]

What are you. What are you doing over there, man? I'm just d knockling.

[A]

You land, you get arrested for sexual harassment.

[C]

Maybe that's what happened.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

No, you're not flashing moose knuckle. You're just asking them if they want knocks.

[B]

Yeah, that's the male version of taking your bra off stuff.

[C]

I think the most common is undoing your moose knuckle.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

De knuckling.

[A]

De knuckling.

[C]

I. I think the most common profession for moose knuckling is teachers.

[A]

Teachers. I feel like with it, they're moose

[C]

knuckling at all times because they have

[B]

to wear khakis all the time.

[C]

I know.

[A]

I think another unwritten rule for vacation is like, if you're meeting someone there or whatever, you gotta discuss how the flight went.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

How can you not in.

[A]

Regardless if it goes good or bad, you know, like, if it was like. Oh, was. It was. It was easy flying today. Yeah, that was great.

[D]

No problems whatsoever.

[A]

No problems. You know, you know, we. We did have to de ice in Fargo, but once we got that done, it was pretty smooth sailing from there.

[D]

It is the world's most average fight. Yeah. It wasn't great. Wasn't terrible.

[A]

You have to comment on how the flight was.

[C]

So it is. Is the de icer. Is that just a spray?

[D]

Yeah, it's a chemical.

[C]

So why are we not. Can you buy that, like for your driveway? And maybe.

[D]

Maybe it's like the de icing stuff that's in the gas station squeegee deals like antifreeze cleaning antifreeze, whatever that stuff is. Because you can buy de icing window wiper fluid.

[C]

I might have to get my hands on that.

[A]

All I know, I think on this podcast I invented the greatest thing to help airports. And that is why don't we do the car wash type of thing where the airplane drives up and something just goes over and just deices the whole thing in one and there's no. You just get in the line, you just drive through it and you're gone.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I think it makes too much sense.

[A]

It's true.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's another unwritten rule.

[B]

I think you have to overpay for something whether you want to or not.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Whether it could be a keychain, could be like a tourist trap. You have to do it.

[A]

Once we bought my brother an eight dollar magnet and it was all because it was doing a funny bit. You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It was so funny. And bought that and then like, like four minutes later, we were walking down the road and there's a guy just selling the same magnet for a buck on the side.

[B]

They're everywhere, those tourists and shops. Yeah.

[D]

In Florida, I paid 18 for a sunglasses strap because I was tired of my kids knocking my sunglasses off the hook of my shirt.

[C]

Is that a thing they do? Is they just come and swat it or.

[D]

Well, like carrying your one and a half year old, he sees glasses hanging on your shirt. Those are coming off immediately.

[A]

Wanted to get a strap. I saw something. You saw some old guy in a Tommy Bahama looking sick, and you're like, God, I gotta do that.

[D]

The problem is I didn't get the cool strap because they didn't have the. The straps that go at the end of the. The arms and the glasses. It's the straps that go right here.

[B]

So.

[A]

Old lady.

[D]

So I look like a librarian.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

But it was very convenient, so I stopped caring of what it would look like.

[C]

Well, that's another thing about vacation is you don't care what you look like. Yeah, you ain't gonna see those.

[A]

I say it all the time. You're willing to take more risks on vacation?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Wardrobe, dweeby sunglasses, accessories, anything. You're willing to do it.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Sexual preferences,

[D]

standards get lowered.

[B]

Anything goes.

[A]

Jesus.

[C]

Not for me. More so for you guys.

[A]

But also, you didn't bring us back anything.

[D]

Sorry.

[A]

I brought you guys back stuff from Hawaii.

[D]

And what about the last time you went to Bodes?

[A]

Well, first of all, I already gave my gift. I don't give another gift until I get one in return. Knows that's how that works.

[D]

I brought you stuff from Wall Drug.

[A]

If I give you a birthday present and you don't give me one on my birthday, you don't get another present until you give me a present.

[B]

You also sign our paychecks.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

What is that supposed to mean?

[B]

Well, like, that's a gift every week.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

For us.

[A]

Yeah. I gift you guys every week.

[B]

Bi weekly.

[C]

Yeah, I can smell you one. You had like, you would. You've told us many times that you don't like receiving gifts.

[D]

That's true. You have said that.

[A]

You know, but that's the best gift,

[C]

is no gift for you. I think, is what you said.

[D]

1.

[A]

I know, but that's like when your wife. That says, like, Like, I don't. I don't want anything on Valentine's Day. You're like, oh, I think she does.

[D]

No, I have to get her something on Valentine's Day.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's fine. I know.

[C]

I Got you.

[A]

We just had to, we just had to like scramble and cover for you while you were gone and you just

[D]

didn't even bring us back. I'm the only person in the office other than you that's gotten someone gifts on vacation. I spent like 150 bucks on stupid knickknacks at Wall Drug to bring to each of you. What was that when I. Where the hell went. On my way back from Idaho, we stopped in Wall Drug, South Dakota.

[A]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you're all right. Ryan's the one that's is you. You're. You're in trouble.

[C]

Well, I haven't been on vacation.

[B]

Yeah, that's right.

[D]

Did you go to national for your birthday?

[C]

I don't take vacation because I'm always here working.

[A]

That is true. You are a guy who should take more vacations, but you don't. What's up with that?

[C]

Well, I think it's unlimited. The unlimited PTO is, it's, it's like a double edged sword, if you will. Have you guys ever seen the tick tocks on unlimited vacation? It's like, yeah, I think people are taking too much PTO and it's like we give them this sort of allotment. What we should do is give them unlimited because then they don't want to be the guy who takes too much vacation, therefore they're not going to take any vacation.

[D]

My sister worked at an office was unlimited vacation and she got it taken away because she took. Because she was taking a shitload of vacation.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

So then the office was like, we got to get rid of unlimited pto. And they're like, we're not going to name names, but there are certain people who are abusing the system.

[C]

But it's, it's unlimited.

[B]

Is.

[D]

Yeah. She didn't break the rules, but she got them amended.

[A]

Now I will have to say not only do you have unlimited payments PTO here, I also required that you take mandatory PTO by not having us work on Fridays. So we haven't worked on Friday since last summer. I was doing the math. So if you work a normal five day work week and you take out every Friday and obviously there's some like holidays that land on that.

[B]

Whatever.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

That you already would get off. That's 52 work days that you don't have to work.

[C]

Yeah, it's 10 weeks.

[A]

It's 10 weeks. That's two and a half months. So basically you guys are working teacher hours.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Basically got the whole summer off.

[C]

And I Think that's part of that. That's also part of it too. Is like. Like when I went ice fishing Devil's Lake, I just left Thursday after work.

[D]

Right.

[C]

You know, so my wife travels a lot for work, so she doesn't always want to just leave for vacation because she's traveling a lot already.

[B]

Staycation.

[D]

The last time you went anywhere was Nashville on your birthday, right?

[C]

Yeah, that was. Yeah, I mean, that was.

[A]

You just went to Canada.

[C]

Yeah, that was on a. I mean, that was on a Friday.

[A]

Right. But I mean, you go on vacation, you just don't. You don't disrespect this company by taking that during work day.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Yeah, I just do a staycation. Stay in Fargo. And then you go to Slick City every day.

[D]

Yeah. Hell yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I got.

[A]

Has anyone gotten an ocular pat down in Slick City? Has anyone been.

[D]

Man, I've just seen the Tik Toks. Slick City's Tik Tok is all over my for you page.

[C]

Yeah, I. Well, I also saw like, after the. Their opening weekend, there was a lot of reviews being like, my kid broke his arm. My kid was in the er so

[B]

Slick City is like a slide thing, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. And I. Yeah. So I don't know. My. My kid had already. Has already broken his leg at Sky Zone. So I. I'm a little bit hesitant to go to Slick City and try that out, but we'll get there eventually.

[A]

I just. The only reason why I knew about Slick City is because there was always. They run an ad on my Tik Tok that would pop up, be like. And there was this gal in the car. Anyone else see this? And she's like, my dad is starting this place called Slick City and it was her, his daughter, telling about what Slick City was going to be.

[D]

I just. I've heard like, Ryan, that Slick City is just entirely too slick.

[C]

I've heard his.

[A]

They need to d. Slick. Slick City. Yeah.

[D]

They need to rough up Slick City

[A]

a little bit less. Slick Slit City.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Because we got four year olds ripping down in gunny sacks on these slides, going way too fast.

[C]

We need a little bit more grit.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Gritty city.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. They at least need to add a little sandpaper to the end of the slide.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So they slow down at the end.

[A]

Their whole marketing campaign should be just setting up, like security cameras at the end of the slides. Nothing feels better than watching someone go down a giant slide. And it's like the one that goes like this y. And they're like going good. And then they go off the first one, they got a little too much speed going, so they catch a little bit of air. And then on the next one, they catch way too much air and they just eat. I watch that. It's basically like they have a setup to just generate chive TV videos every single day.

[D]

Or when the slide walls are a little too high, they bounce off one wall, then they end up going all the way down the slide.

[A]

Yeah. So. Yeah, I gotta get over to Slick City.

[C]

Yeah, we should. We could do it. We could do a company outing at Slick City.

[A]

Hey, Christmas party.

[C]

Could do Christmas.

[A]

Because we're not doing the.

[D]

Not doing fights anymore.

[A]

We're not doing the fight club anymore because. Because Tyler didn't get the tickets in time.

[C]

Yeah, we couldn't. We'll get another table.

[D]

We'll buy a table from somebody.

[C]

Yeah, we can. And then we can swap.

[A]

Pay him more than what you would have. You just would have done it.

[C]

I'll check on Marketplace. There's got to be someone who's selling a ringside table because they don't have enough buddies to fill it.

[A]

Yeah. You know, we could have split a table with someone. Could have, like, another party.

[C]

I think they might got bottle service, too, for ringside. Actually, I think so.

[D]

No.

[A]

Sounds sick. What?

[D]

It's pretty bare bones.

[C]

We're trying to get him there still.

[D]

We can. The tables are gone. Well, we'll get.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, maybe we can. Maybe we can get a media pass and then we can get right up again.

[D]

Yeah, we could be the guys in front of the dudes that bought the tables.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Just right in their way.

[B]

Wear a lanyard.

[D]

They, like, put deer stands on the octagon so that they can shoot down into the. Into the ring.

[A]

Oh, really? Seems very distracting.

[D]

Well, like, they go up top so that they can shoot down over top, not through the fence.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

Miles, if you want to. I. I think. I think we could finagle you into the. The commentating table for like A. Yeah, 100.

[A]

Confident on that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It already happened to me at the whiff of all World Series.

[C]

Yeah. Should we try?

[A]

No, we could do like a.

[C]

Like a free 2 minute commentating segment for a ringside table.

[D]

Yeah. If they kick somebody off their table and give it to us.

[A]

Yeah, we do a podcast before the. Before the.

[D]

In the octagon.

[A]

In the octagon beforehand.

[C]

That'd be sick, actually. That'd be sick.

[D]

Right?

[B]

Would be in his element.

[D]

We could be three of us in the octagon and Ryan could go back to his stairwell from the wedding. Oh, yeah. Just for old time's sake. Just for a segment. It's in your wedding building where you got.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I was. No, there was no stairs there. I wasn't a stair. I was just standing just in the open.

[D]

Okay. I thought you were in a stairwell for some reason.

[C]

No, I was very vulnerable. I was very vulnerable at that time.

[B]

You had a plate of food.

[C]

I could have been attacked from any angle.

[D]

In the middle of the floor.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, I didn't have anyone watching my six,

[B]

sit on the ground, crisscross applesauce.

[C]

Yeah. I should have backed into a corner, because then people would have been like, is that guy okay? No, I'm not.

[A]

Well, no. And that's when you're at your best, is when you get backed into a corner because you have to claw your way out.

[D]

Nobody puts baby in the corner.

[C]

That's very true.

[B]

During that day, did you tell anybody it was actually your birthday?

[C]

The groom. The groom wished me happy birthday during his speech.

[D]

Oh, Happy birthday, Ryan.

[A]

Before we go any further, guys, there's a special someone in the audience. You see that guy standing the back in the back there, all by himself because he's a loser and he's got no friends.

[C]

It's his birthday, and you wouldn't believe how many seats opened after that.

[D]

Just like the Red Sea parting. That's right.

[C]

I should have thrown a birthday hat on. You should have. I might just do that in any social situation now. Just be like, yeah, it's my birthday today. Just to get extra perks. I've also noticed that restaurants aren't checking IDs for birthday desserts anymore. So I might just start getting birthday desserts.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

What do you think about that, Mouse?

[A]

I mean, I. I know for a fact there's a ton of people in this world that do that at every restaurant to see what they can get away for.

[C]

Sure. I've never done it a single time.

[A]

I mean, in this economy. You're paying for dessert. Come on.

[C]

12, 13.

[D]

Dessert.

[B]

Lava cake.

[D]

The Vikings give away pins.

[A]

It's.

[D]

It's a. My first Vikings game, and I wore it to. Not my first Vikings game, and then I wore it again, thinking I was get. You don't get. So that doesn't work there, guys.

[B]

Good to know.

[D]

No, don't, Don't. Don't waste your time.

[A]

I didn't get one of those in my first Viking game.

[D]

They didn't ask. They asked our group, like, did anyone's first Game. I was like, mine. It's like my eighth game. They gave me a pin, and then I didn't get for it.

[A]

You got a pin?

[D]

I got a pin, but that's it.

[A]

Wait, do you also expect that on election day when because you're wearing I voted sticker, you're supposed to get, like, a free coffee or some shit or what you do?

[D]

Really? Yeah. You can copy at those places.

[A]

I mean, like, you go to the coffee shop and be like, hey, I voted. I have something for free.

[D]

Some businesses do give you shit if you vote.

[C]

Can I get a free month mortgage or something like that?

[D]

I don't. I don't know about that.

[B]

That.

[C]

Can you dock a point off my interest rate?

[D]

That'd be sick. A lot more people would vote.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

It's actually not a bad idea.

[C]

They can start running more promos like that.

[A]

Tax credit for voting is not bad.

[B]

Could be the move.

[D]

Can we vote on that next year?

[A]

I mean, at what point does it just become bribing people to vote? As you know, we're brunted up this morning.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Smash that table.

[A]

Miles Stiff. Couple of guys wearing their brunt boots on a morning podcast show. Jared, you were actually bragging earlier this morning, and Jared doesn't brag that often.

[D]

No. Humble guy.

[A]

Jared, what were you bragging about?

[B]

So I've been wearing the piss out of my brunt hoodie.

[A]

You. Yes, I know you've been wearing the piss out of that bad boy. And I found.

[B]

I got it in the. Through the washer and dryer. Didn't shrink at all. Still feels great.

[C]

It's actually a huge perk.

[A]

I call that dryer roulette.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

It's like, all right, I'm always gonna dry this on high heat. Hopefully my shirt makes it through. Hopefully I can still wear it when it comes out.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And consensus is good to go.

[B]

Yep. And not pilly at all or anything.

[C]

That's funny you say that, because my wife is doing laundry this last weekend, and she's like, hey, do you want me to dry this hoodie? And I.

[B]

Great.

[C]

I. I thought about it for a few seconds, and then I. I just. I landed on. Yeah, go ahead and try it. I haven't tried it on yet, but now I know when I do try

[D]

it on, no need to worry.

[B]

Guaranteed.

[C]

Guaranteed.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

I love that. And that's what, you know, Brun understands us normal guys, you know, they know. They're like, hey, we gotta make this. Miles and Jared and Tyler and Ryan. Proof should be durable. They should be able to dry this.

[D]

We know they ain't changing the settings on their dryer, so it's gotta last y.

[C]

They're washing it. They're washing everything together. They're drying everything on high heat.

[B]

Still feels new.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And so, guys, if you're looking for some great work where especially as the construction season, the outdoor season kicks back up here again as spring comes around the corner, you got to go to brunt workwear.com use code ybr. They're going to give you 10 bucks off. They got awesome boots. They got awesome pants. You were wearing your Brunt pants yesterday. Jealous. And all sorts of workwear for you. So go to bruntworkwear.com all right, Jared, you got. You got a story for us here.

[B]

Yeah. So I was at the bar on Sunday.

[A]

It was like 11:30am or p.m. a.m.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Not on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I asked the bartender if she could put on Daytona 500. And she looked around. She looked at the TV and just handed me the remote.

[A]

Let's go.

[D]

Hell yes.

[A]

It holds up. Yeah.

[B]

Was awesome.

[A]

Why? Why? Bartenders just. Just don't. They don't know how to work television.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Is insane. But on that secondary part, there's just no great. There's no greater power in a bar than holding the bar remote.

[D]

Jared, you had. You did have the opportunity to just. Just put on whatever you want.

[B]

Exactly.

[D]

You could have up the whole bar and thrown on like, ggw.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Don't know what that is. I think girls. Yeah. Yeah. Yep.

[C]

It's morning time. There's some slow brains.

[D]

You're right. You're right.

[B]

But ordered a porto.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

A corno.

[D]

Jared goes down.

[A]

Hot and sweaty coeds.

[D]

Jared scrolls.

[A]

Swaps spit in the library.

[D]

Back door sluts. 9.

[A]

It's just still one of my favorite forms of entertainment is just.

[C]

What?

[B]

Yeah. Wait, what?

[D]

Clip it.

[C]

Clip that.

[A]

Reading the titles for pornos is one of my favorite forms of entertainment.

[C]

Clip that too.

[A]

Just. And I. Because I feel like that only happens on vacation because you never really look at the TV Guide unless you're in a hotel room. And so every single time, I'll pull up the tv guys, and I'll just start reading them out loud. And Anne's just rolling her eyes. I'm dying.

[D]

Laughing.

[C]

That is. It's a funny little nighttime activity, if you will.

[B]

Yeah. Right when you get out. There you go. Right?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, and look.

[C]

And like, they bury him at the bottom, but it's really nice to get there.

[A]

Spicy. Spicy. Secretaries 4 is on.

[D]

I like when they do plays on, like, actual titles like the Devil Went down on Georgia.

[A]

Yeah. The Devil. Yeah. Instead of the Devil Wears Prada, the Devil Wears Bukaki. And it's never just the original. It's always 4, 6, 8, 1238.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They're making small improvements.

[D]

Yeah. It's not often the sequel movies are better, but in these cases.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You think that Disney really just hammers the sequels and never comes up with anything new? Talk about Back Door, the girl next door 8. They just. All they do is sequels.

[C]

Well, we. It's kind of like us. We never Talk about. About YBR Episode 1. We prefer not to. I feel like it's kind of like that industry where they just. They want to move past the first one and move on to the next numbers.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Put those puffs.

[A]

So you put on the Daytona 500.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

How was it?

[B]

That was good. The last lap was awesome.

[A]

I watched it on Tick Tock later.

[B]

Yeah. Then I was like flipping around espn going back and forth, commercials on back to Daytona. And I. I was there for probably an extra hour just because of it.

[A]

Were you there by yourself?

[B]

No, with my brother.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Cash at the Hip, those two.

[B]

That sweet.

[C]

You should throw, like. Does the volume control work on. On those remotes? Like, could you turn it up all the way?

[B]

I guess I could have. Yeah. But I didn't.

[D]

He didn't want to abuse his power that he just got.

[B]

I can't be a.

[C]

Is this a big. Is this a big bar or a small town bar?

[B]

Yeah, it was a decent bar in Fargo.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So a lot of power for Jared.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And it sounds like you didn't abuse it, so they'll probably grant it to you again sometime.

[B]

Yeah. Say like, hey, remember me?

[C]

You could have thrown on church. Even you could have. Could have watched church.

[D]

Well, he was watching the church that Dale built.

[C]

That's true.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's true.

[B]

Daytona. So pretty sweet.

[C]

If you're scared, go to church.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it's like having the bar modes. Kind of like having the talking stick.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Everyone else. If you got the bar remote, everyone else needs to shut the hell up.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

You only get to say if you got the bar remote in your hand,

[D]

did it even remotely, pun intended. Cross your mind to steal that thing. And then so just every time you go to the bar, you've got the remote.

[A]

I actually was just thinking about that.

[D]

It's like, what would they do?

[B]

It didn't cross my mind, but I maybe should have.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like I told the Story of this podcast. But one time we stole the TV remote from our teacher in high school.

[D]

They had a panic attack, didn't they?

[A]

Well, so what happened was, is we taped it to the bottom of a desk because we knew that they were gonna make everyone stand up and hand over the remote. So, you know it's underneath the desk and you just hit the on button. It would turn on and then eventually everyone stand out. She never found it, just taped to the bottom. I mean, I'm sure someone at. Someone at some point ratted the person out, but. But, well, it was. If. If you ever want to prank someone, just tape the remote to the bottom

[C]

of the desk like that. I feel like the valedictorian had class the next hour in that. In that room and setting and sat in that desk. She just probably ratted everyone. I just assumed. Valedictorian is usually always a girl.

[D]

I feel they're way smarter than us.

[A]

I knew I played football with a guy who was about Victorian.

[D]

Yeah. Good friend.

[C]

I was six in my class. Not to brag, but with the first

[D]

five girls,

[C]

I think the first. I think four out of the five.

[B]

And your class size was six people, so it's not that great.

[C]

77, Jared. But that's fine. Yeah. Believe what you want.

[A]

So you were like, kind of a dweep.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, I. I would. I would study like crazy the night before. I'd cram, and then I'd take the test and just forget everything.

[B]

Good test taker.

[C]

I'm a good test taker. Yeah. Yeah. Also, I think I'm very resourceful. I would ask questions to the teacher, like, during office hours. That granted me more access to the test, I guess.

[A]

So, like. Yeah. Like, what is question six gonna look like? You think it's like. Like that or.

[C]

Yeah, just if you just ask them, like, will this information be on the test? They'll tell you yes or no.

[A]

So not only were you a dweeb, you're a suck. Up. Going into the. Going in the teacher's office during office hours.

[C]

No, I mean, that's what office hours are for.

[A]

You bring them an apple every day too.

[D]

If you tell me what's on the test, maybe I'll just forget this case of Diet Coke right here.

[A]

Did you volunteer to clean off the whiteboard too? Every time.

[C]

If there were. If they left marks after. After racing it themselves, I. I'd have. Like, there were times I'd have to

[D]

go up there and.

[C]

And erase the whole thing out of me.

[D]

Were you guys schools old School enough to have chalkboards.

[C]

Our.

[A]

We did an elementary.

[C]

Maybe our music room had chalkboards.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

We would have to, like, take turns. Like, it was a special treat. You got to go outside and, like, beat off the erasers. I know how that sounds.

[A]

You went.

[D]

I know.

[A]

You went outside and beat off.

[D]

Beat off the erasers. You'd have to, like, smack them on the sidewalk to get all the chalk out of them.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

It was like.

[C]

They should have just had an air compressor. Would have been much easier.

[D]

Right? I don't think they trusted the 8 year old with the air compressor.

[B]

It acts like Lebron with the chalk.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

Yeah, that too. Yeah. I mean, like, in, like, the. The nails on the chalkboard didn't bug me a whole lot. So, like, just taking the nails and running it down was. That was great because there was always a couple people like, oh, my goodness.

[A]

And it.

[C]

Me being me, I'm like, I could do this. You want me?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You want me?

[D]

I'm going. Do it even harder now.

[A]

More of it.

[C]

Okay, that sounds good. I'm six in the class.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm six.

[B]

Double bronze.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm LeBron James for the heat.

[A]

So what. What would they.

[D]

If.

[A]

What would you do? What would they do if you scratch your fingers on the chalkboard? Oh, my God, stop.

[C]

Would you say I can't hear you over the squealing of my nails on the chalkboard?

[A]

Why are you spending so much time at the chalkboard? And bored.

[D]

He's. He's.

[C]

Dude, I, I, I kind of just. I. Like, there were times I had free reign to just kind of do whatever I wanted.

[B]

Six of the class.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I was respectful to the teacher. I was. I was respectful to the teacher. I think that's why they gave me more free will. And it wasn't like mid class, but it was like either before or after class. Stick around, see what's gonna be on the test then. I have leverage over other kids too, because I know what's on the test and they don't.

[D]

And you can sell that information.

[A]

Yep.

[D]

Correct for dining dollars.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Ryan was definitely the kid that I was zeroed in on and trying to let me cheat off his work.

[C]

Yeah, probably.

[B]

And I would cover his paper or

[C]

to make you laugh. Oh, dude, I was covering papers all the time. Like, I went through all this. Not for you to.

[A]

Ryan would put up the folders around his test.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, the dividers. Bringing the dividers out was the best. You guys have those was.

[D]

No, we just set up folders.

[B]

Worth that bougie.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Maybe they just gave him the top six in the class.

[D]

We had chalkboards until sixth grade.

[A]

So I one time got caught again. I feel like I told this story on podcast, but I got caught cheating because I, I had no idea what the answers were. So I got up and went and blew my nose and was just staring at everyone's paper. I blew my nose and like there was a desk right by where the garbage was and I was just really looking at their paper. Then after class I got in trouble.

[D]

Oh, they waited till after the test.

[A]

Yeah, that.

[D]

So you still had to finish the damn thing. It's like if you're gonna give me a zero, just do it halfway through.

[A]

So you got some patron questions for us, Jared? Yep.

[B]

Giant deck. Since Ryan is the king of marketplace, I need some help. I'm looking at an industrial paint shaker. And, and the dude already lowered his price from 2000 to 1500 on his post and I gotta drive three and a half hours to pick it up. How much should I ask? Ask him to knock off the price if I'm paying cash and driving that far.

[A]

I like that. This is a great question. This is some real value that T shirt guy is about to bring.

[C]

So I was listed for 2k, dropped it to 1500.

[B]

Yep. And it's three and a half hour drive.

[C]

So to me it's, it's something he's trying to sell, he's trying to move it. He's, he, he has no use for it anymore and he just wants cash for it. I think, I think a realistic price. Now here's the kicker. How fast can you make it there? Because if you can make it, if you can't make it there for a week or two, he's probably going to be like, well okay, I'll just leave it up for now. Or a field other offers, I think a good place to start. 1100. Say hey, I'll do 1100 cash and I'll come this Friday and meet you here. Like the more direct you are with people and like giving them a time is that's the best because they, that they know. Friday at 6pm I'm gonna have 1100 dollars cash and I'm gonna eliminate some mental space that this industrial paint shakers taken up.

[A]

So.

[C]

And what you want them to do is you want them to come back at. Well, the lowest I can do is 1300. Boom. Okay, you just got 200 bucks off. 1500.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

See, I would have went 950 off the bat.

[D]

Oh my My head was at a thousand offer a thousand. Hope he settles somewhere in the 1250, 1300 range.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, you could do that. Marketplace though is it's just notorious for low ball offers. And also asking him like, hey, what's the lowest you can do on this isn't always the best thing to ask right away because they're not going to be like, the lowest I can do is 750. They're gonna be like, the lowest I can do is 1400 cash. So you gotta throw the number out first. You can't be too, you can't be too big of a douche. Low balling too much. So I mean, what's. I don't know, what's a couple hundred?

[A]

You know, actually after you sell that 1100 bucks does feel right. That's the reason why.

[D]

Yeah. You know your sales.

[C]

Sales meeting. Yeah. Get the sales meeting dialed in. You do it on your. Don't expect them to, to, to, to do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Right.

[B]

I like it.

[A]

I also, worst thing about negotiation is how long it takes the number that both of you know it's going to end up at. You know, if it's going to be 1250, you just, you do so much dancing around 1250 and then you just, it just ends up at 1250.

[C]

Yep. You know, and I really hope you didn't send them. Is this available?

[A]

What? Okay, this is a great lesson. Listen, if you want to buy something on Facebook Marketplace and you want to improve your chances of getting it, what should you open up with?

[C]

So again, do not do one of the, the, the pre uploaded responses. You say hey, and their name because then they know you're like, you're actually making an effort.

[A]

Yeah. So Jared's selling this.

[C]

Jared selling it. Okay. So my opening message would be like, hey, Jared, I'm. I'm pretty interested in this industrial paint mixer. I live three and a half hours away, but I can make it there this Friday at noon. Would you, would you take eleven hundred dollars cash? If I can get there on Friday, yeah.

[B]

End times are tough.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

He doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't care about you.

[A]

Yeah. What he cares about is initiative and agency and urgency.

[C]

Correct.

[A]

Because. Because the worst thing about selling some on Facebook Marketplace is you don't know if this person's going to show up.

[C]

Absol.

[A]

So you need to give them no feeling whatsoever that you're not going to show up.

[C]

Correct. And they're. And they're going to. And they'll appreciate that too, because they, they might have already Gotten five messages about it. Is this available? Ghost, is this available? Yes, it is available. That's why it's listed. Would you take 200?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Would you go yourself? Because if you would that, I'll take 200 cash.

[A]

You should. This is like, you should start selling a course online.

[C]

I should.

[D]

Good. On Facebook marketplace.

[A]

So, yeah, the art of Facebook marketplace. Because, like, you know, like, you can. You'll hire like or you'll. You'll. You'll sign up for a class for like a sales thing and they always give you like email templates and stuff like that. You could start slinging Facebook. Facebook marketplace messenger templates.

[C]

Yeah, I think I. I think it would do a lot of people. I actually think it would get people better deals that than they're getting.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Because if someone is like, if someone has some urgency to come get something from that I'm selling, I'm gonna give them a better deal because they're a nice guy. Out. That's just the type of person I am too.

[B]

But you are a nice guy.

[C]

Yeah. Guy came by and he bought some stuff for me yesterday is like, he was the best guy to work with, so I gave him a better deal.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Like it. Crap. That's his name. My local b dubs has touch tunes and I randomly play who let the dogs out no matter where I am. What is another good annoying song to play at a bar that you don't go to?

[A]

I'm blue

[D]

because like, that song's fun for 30 seconds.

[A]

Baby Shark would be a good one.

[D]

Yeah, that one's just mean.

[A]

That would suck. Except for it might get the place going though.

[C]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

What time of night? Like, if you feel a little tuned up, that baby shark comes on. You're doing the meet him in the

[D]

middle and do the baby shark trap remix.

[C]

Yeah, I've heard that one. It's a pretty good one.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

If you ever see miles at a bar, just play wagon wheel or sorry. God's country.

[D]

He loves that song.

[C]

It's coin dream you.

[A]

I don't know why Blake Shelton, is that you?

[C]

It's that morning voice. Got that girl got that raspy morning voice.

[B]

Sassy Lassie. This was inspired by my 3 year old who was. Who was going through a cereal phase. Rapid fire. What two cereals would m. Would you mix and consume for breyer?

[A]

How rapid fire are we going here?

[B]

Rapid as you can.

[A]

Peanut butter crunch and Reese's puffs.

[D]

What's peanut butter crunch?

[A]

Captain peanut butter crunch.

[D]

I didn't know they made that you've

[A]

never had Peanut Butter Crunch?

[D]

No.

[A]

That was, like, the only Captain Crunch we would have growing up.

[B]

We.

[D]

We always mix berries.

[C]

That's like the great. The great value one.

[D]

Oh, yeah, man. I think I told you this, that I thought that regular brands were the knockoffs, because really, we only got the bags.

[C]

The bags were kind of fun to get, though. Like, looking in the cereal section at a grocery store is kind of fun. I. I like. I like Fruity Pebbles and Lucky Charm.

[D]

That's a good mix. That's a good mix.

[C]

The milk is so good after the

[D]

Golden Puffs and Cinnamon Toast Crunch is a good mix.

[A]

What are Golden Puffs?

[D]

You'd know them if you saw them. Like kicks. No. They look like what? They almost look like little beans.

[A]

You ever heard kicks in a while?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. What are they like, Tyler?

[D]

The beans?

[A]

The kicks? Yeah, like kicks.

[B]

Like Cinnamon Toast Crunch and S'.

[A]

Mores.

[B]

That'd be a good one.

[D]

Mm.

[A]

Feel like. You guys ever have Count Chocula?

[D]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

And Frankenberry.

[A]

What would be a good Count Chocula mix?

[D]

I like Ruth Reese's. You do a Peanut butter chocolate Frosted Flakes. And these are Golden Puffs.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Yep, yep.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, yeah. Frosted Flakes and Peanut Butter Crunch.

[B]

Frosted Flakes and Corn Flakes. That'd be good

[D]

in case you just don't want too much frosting in case

[A]

you don't want to get too frosted if you're diabetic.

[C]

I like Chex and Rice Krispies. No sugar added. If I see checks in the. In our pantry or Rice Krispies, I just know they're not to eat with milk. They're for cooking purposes.

[D]

Those are becoming a bar. Yeah. Special K. Same thing.

[B]

Yep.

[D]

My grandma used to just eat Special K, though.

[C]

Special K flavored, though, is great.

[D]

Never had it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like the strawberry one.

[D]

Yep. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Honey bunches of oats with any fruit? Cereal is good. Good.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

If I'm eating any cereal right now, it's Honey Bunches of Oats.

[D]

It's very good.

[C]

You guys ever just eat very.

[A]

It's a very adult cereal.

[D]

Cheerios makes it Cheerios. Honey and Oats. That's kind of their own version of that. It's very good. Give it a peek if you ever get a chance.

[C]

You guys ever eat. Just eat, like, granola with milk?

[D]

No, I put it in yogurt a lot.

[C]

Yeah. Try it with milk. It's really good.

[D]

Go.

[C]

What about you, Jared?

[A]

What?

[B]

I eat it Every morning, if you

[C]

had to combine two.

[B]

Oh, I said it was Suma Toast Crunch and S'. Mores.

[A]

S'.

[B]

Mores. S' Mores cereal. I don't know if they make it.

[C]

Is that what it's called?

[A]

S'.

[D]

Mores. It's like. It's like golden grams with marshmallows. Yep.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Fun fact. A sword made from the blood of your enemies is technically possible. If you separate the iron out of the blood of 300 adults, you could smelt it down to iron ignite.

[D]

Ingots.

[B]

Ingot. This ignate would be enough to be used to create a longsword. The dull contains about 3.5 or 4 grams of iron, mostly hemoglobin, necessitating complex chemical processing to extract enough usable metallic iron.

[A]

So this sword was forged with the blood of my enemies, is actually a real thing? Thing.

[B]

Technically, yes.

[D]

Could be.

[A]

I never thought about that.

[D]

I don't think anyone's ever done it. Probably.

[A]

You never know. I don't know, dude. When there was no rules in the

[D]

world, but, like, they didn't have the tech to be separating the iron from the blood.

[A]

That's probably true.

[D]

That's true. When they were using swords regularly, so

[B]

that's something to consider. Tyler, for a new sword, you just

[D]

kill 300 people, separate the iron.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah. Go to a funeral home.

[D]

Gravedigger, she's like, hey, could you guys save me the blood? Your next 300 customers.

[A]

No. Just.

[D]

No.

[A]

Just save me the blood.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. The next 300 people that come through your door, you save me their blood.

[B]

Just walk up and tell them that.

[D]

Yeah. Like, it's a vampire.

[A]

Don't. Don't even worry about it.

[D]

I'll.

[A]

I'll extract the iron out of it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Try to make a sword.

[D]

I'd have to come up with some personal vengeance with each of them to make them my enemies, though, so. Otherwise it's just the sword.

[A]

Well, just go to the funeral home in the neighboring town and just be like, they're my rivals. They're my enemies.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Go to Perm.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Perfect. Any funeral home in Perm.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's good use of your time.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You didn't do any work today. You showed up late, so it'll be the difference.

[D]

It's still 15 minutes earlier than usual.

[A]

We literally started two minutes before you watched.

[D]

Oh, my God. Yeah, I kind of figured that'd be the case, but I didn't know for sure this would be the one day we start on time.

[A]

Was that it, Jared?

[B]

That's it.

[A]

Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of ybr. Have a great week. We'll see you next one. Oh, you betcha. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Hunter Scott. Boys, I need help.

[A]

Help.

[B]

My toolbox drawers.

[D]

Me too.

[B]

My toolbox drawers are stuck open. The bottom drawer has a plastic container that in the bottom of the one that in the bottom of the one up top. My problem is that the bottom drawer can't shut all the way, so. And the top is stuck all the way out. So I can't get into the bottom drawer to move the plastic. I can't find the screws to take a drawer out. And trying to avoid a good old fashioned spaz out. I don't want to break my tool chest.

[C]

Hunter, you need help writing, so I think is what you need help with. You're putting Jared through the fucking ringer.

[D]

That was unfair.

[B]

I took my shoes off of that.

[A]

Okay, but here's the deal though. A magic treehouse book is gonna put Jared through the rare.

[B]

There's a reason I've never read them.

[D]

Yeah, Good books.

[A]

I mean, I don't know why people keep trying to avoid the. The, the age old strategy of just spazzing on it.

[D]

I don't know why.

[A]

Yeah, like, I think that that's number one, just do a little bit of a spaz on it. And number two, I mean, why do you need it to close? I think is also the question, you know, like if you just. You close it all the way and even if it's open just like that much, then just pull all of your other drawers open just that much and then it'll just look uniform from the front.

[D]

That's a good point. What's the plan?

[A]

You don't even need to worry about it.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

What's the plastic thing causing the issue, Jared?

[B]

Oh, I don't know.

[C]

Don't make him do that again, Tyler.

[B]

And the top is stuck all the way out, so I can't get into the bottom drawer to move the plastic. I can't find screws to take a drawer out. And trying to regardless.

[A]

Oh, so the drawer is stuck all the way out.

[B]

Seems that way.

[C]

You could just. Yeah, you could just. Well, here's the thing. When one door closes, another one opens. So I think spazzing may be your only option. And that may require you to just tip your toolbox upside down.

[A]

I mean, you also could stick a blowtorch back there and just melt the plastic.

[C]

It's not a bad idea.

[B]

Yep. Don't breathe it in.

[A]

Not a bad.

[D]

Yeah, I think if it's do that. If it's something lame, just spaz. Like Miles says, crush, break, whatever the plastic thing is, because you're not going

[C]

to put it back in the toolbox and risk that happening again.

[D]

Right. Just spaz on it. Dude. Quit. Quit avoiding it. Get the spaz.

[A]

I think I also need to look at this as an opportunity to learn everything you can about this toolbox.

[D]

Absolutely.

[C]

I know everything about turtle boxes.

[A]

Yeah, you do? Yeah. You do.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, did you try. Did you try just. Just opening the bottom drawer? Try that. Did you try just, like, actually, like, rolling your sleeves up and putting some elbow grease into it and stop being a. And just open it up?

[C]

Val, question for Hunt.

[B]

So the advice is don't be a. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Spaz on it.

[B]

Or Ryan, they could just sell the whole damn thing on Facebook marketplace as

[D]

is, and they don't have to disclose anything about the drawers being.

[B]

Yeah. Disclosed.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, you didn't disclose it. Oh, well, did you not look at the pictures? You see? Not see that drawer open as is.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Give me my money.

[C]

Casual.

[A]

Yeah. You just put in the caption, like, as seen in the photos that the drawers do open, and it's just that one drawers that's stuck open.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's like, a great way to get around that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Then they pick it up, and then you're just like. You start. You tell them, like, they. They try and close the drawer. Then you just start being like, wow, you don't even know how to close a tool chest drawer. It's so embarrassing.

[B]

Don't be a.

[D]

Don't be like, what did you do? Why are my drawers stuck now?

[C]

Yeah. Are you a man?

[D]

Your word.

[C]

You said you're gonna buy it.

[A]

You break it, you buy it.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, the listing photo, too, is only straight on, so it, like, if it's straight, straight on, the drawer looks like it's closed.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And up and down. You're like, eye level with his chest.

[C]

Correct.

[B]

That's good, right? This isn't your first rodeo.

[A]

No. Also, Ryan, in the fine print, you need to start adding to your listings. You break it, you buy it.

[C]

Turtlebox.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It was charged when you got before you got here.

[A]

So, like, I'm not responsible for anything that happens after you touch it for the first time, even if you're just looking at it.

[C]

I'm not responsible for anything that happens after.

[A]

All you have to do is just get the guy to touch the tool chest and he has to buy it yours now.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What do you think? Yeah. Feel it Up a little bit. You like it?

[D]

Can I come look at this? Yeah, you can, but be careful.

[C]

Yeah, you can come touch it if you want.

[B]

Yeah, it's like tag. You're it.

[C]

Yeah, your problem now.

[A]

That's funny. Yeah, you hand them toolbox and you just say, you're it. No, no, tag backs.

[D]

Ryan just runs away. Here, take it.

[C]

That would.

[D]

That.

[C]

That actually would be. That'd be a funny bit. Like, just play a huge game of tag on Marketplace and whoever. Whoever ends up with the item for the longest, they lose.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Should make a movie about that iced mouner stump. Tyler, would you rather be Miles's assistant for 24 hours or Ryan's assistant for 24 hours? Stipulations, you have to do everything they say, get them whatever they want, and cook their food on a grill. Also, the food has to be edible.

[D]

I mean, I already do all that for Miles, minus the grilling.

[A]

I don't think you understand the levels that I'm. I'm willing to make another human do for me. Yeah, no, I mean, you think it's bad now? Wait till I have you cleaning out my truck. Wait till I have you, you know, running errands for my wife. Oh, man.

[C]

Dude, wait till he has a drink.

[A]

It's just me.

[D]

I've already.

[A]

Wait till. Wait till I got you picking up Jergens for me at the store at

[B]

the Walmart parking lot.

[A]

Then when you don't. And then when you don't get the right flavor, I send you back flavor, you know?

[D]

Wow. Two of those three things Miles has had me do for him before.

[C]

Jergens and I had to clean the

[D]

truck out before we went on a road trip one time. And then I've also. You've had me grab. Pick something up for Ann when I was out buying props.

[A]

Okay, so, one, that's just smart move, husband move by me. Two, it's my truck is a company truck at that point. So essentially, you're not cleaning up my truck, you're clearing out your truck. And. And then I don't remember the other time. I think. Yeah, I just needed some Jergens, so.

[D]

No, I haven't done that one for you yet.

[A]

Oh,

[D]

honestly, I have.

[C]

It's not that bad.

[D]

I'm not stumped. I would rather be Ryan's assistant because I think you'd get annoyed of having someone else do it for him, and he would just do it himself.

[C]

100.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Not stumped.

[C]

Yeah. Like when I'm. When I get valley and because I get valet most places I go.

[D]

Except for places with poles in the parking lot.

[C]

Yeah, it's one of those things where I'm just like. I could just park this myself, but if you're insisting.