Podcast Summary: You Betcha Radio – “We Love Hunks”

Date: January 12, 2026
Host(s): Myles (“You Betcha Guy”), Ryan, Tyler, Jerrod
Theme: Midwestern humor, man culture, nostalgia, Midwest quirks

Episode Overview

This episode of You Betcha Radio dives into classic Midwest banter with a comedic twist: the guys riff on creative sandwich substitutes, snack-parenting, the oddity of a “Helen Keller Sight Award,” and offer support for listeners’ resolutions to quit tobacco. As always, the conversation is fast-paced, irreverent, and peppered with uniquely Midwestern takes on everyday topics.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. If Sandwich Bread Vanished… (00:00 - 01:33)

• The crew opens with a hypothetical: What if bread and all its cousins (buns, rolls, garlic bread) suddenly didn’t exist?
  • Creative Alternatives:
    • Pickles: “Pickles. They already have that at G.B. john’s.” – (B, 00:09)
    • Lettuce wraps (‘unwich’): “Just use lettuce to wrap it all up.” – (C, 00:14)
    • Slabs of deli meat as the ‘bun’
    • Graham crackers, soft pretzels, waffles, pancakes, rice cakes, muffins
    • Waffle fries as bread substitute
    • “Slice [waffle fries] like bread, though, down the middle.” – (C, 01:04)
  • Humorous escalation as the crew runs out of practical (and some impractical) ideas.

2. Snack Recommendations: “Heavenly Hunks” (01:33 - 03:36)

• The conversation veers into snacking as a parent—Myles admits to pilfering his kid’s snacks, particularly “Heavenly Hunks.”
  • Snack Parenting Confession:
    • “Some of them. You despise yogis... now I’m just eating them and keeps restocking them. For me is a product called Heavenly Hunks.” – (B, 01:40)
  • What are Heavenly Hunks?
    • Oatmeal-chocolate squares often found at Costco.
    • “If they’re in my house, I’ll have four or five of them a day.” – (D, 02:20)
  • Banter over the name: “That sounds like a gay porn magazine.” – (C, 02:00)
  • Running joke about hoarding them “for the kid, but really for you.”
  • Memorable moment:
    • “I’m going to have a heavenly hunk in my bed while Ann watches me. …It’s kind of a reverse cuck situation, but with oatmeal bites.” – (B, 03:17)

3. Helen Keller Sight Award – Comedy & Skepticism (03:36 - 07:32)

• Tyler recounts spotting a “Helen Keller Sight Award” at an optometrist’s office, sparking a riff on the irony.
  • “You’re telling me this woman was blind, deaf, and mute? Wrote a book, and now [is] a poster child for eyesight?” – (A, 03:46)
  • “That’s like winning the Stephen Hawking Best Running Back of a Year award.” – (C, 03:56)
• The group jokes about the possibility the award is a white elephant gag.
  • “I don’t think I want a doctor that’s won a Helen Keller award.” – (B, 04:26)
• Helen Keller Skepticism: The growing online conspiracy that Keller’s accomplishments are exaggerated.
  • “I like to be a very rational man, and I just think I’m—not promoting it—but the Helen Keller skepticism that’s happening on the internet…I’m not pushing back on that.” – (B, 05:06)
  • “It kind of feels like mythology, where it just snowballs, and all of a sudden you’re Zeus.” – (B, 05:28)
• They dissect how far skepticism could go, referencing the “throat feeling” technique by which Keller allegedly learned words.
  • “She would feel people’s throats when they’d say it … and mimic the vibration.” – (C, 06:15)
  • “She’s a throat goat, dude. Helen Keller was a throat goat. She was feeling up throats left and right.” – (B, 06:46)
• Final clarification: The award honors “contributions in the field of vision research” (C, 07:04).

4. Listener Shoutouts & Resolutions: Quitting Tobacco (07:48 - 08:35)

• Listener (“Jack, Shotgun”) celebrates six days tobacco-free after 15 years.
  • Crew’s supportive responses:
    • “Oh, yeah, brother.” – (C, 08:04)
    • “Stay strong.” – (B, 08:06)
    • “Develop strategies…when you get the urges, what you can do to get out of it.” – (B, 08:09)
  • Practical suggestions for alternatives like “velos” and “zids.”
  • Joke capper: “Jared just won the Amy Winehouse Relapse Award.” – (C, 08:35)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On breadless sandwiches:

  • “We’re really running out of options for a PB and J right now.” – (C, 00:28)
  • “Waffle fries. Like, waffle French fries on either side.” – (B, 00:50)

• On snack parenting:

  • “Buy Heavenly Hunks for your kid, but it’s really for you.” – (B, 02:35)

• Helen Keller sight award bit:

  • “That’s like winning the Stephen Hawking Best Running Back of a Year award.” – (C, 03:56)
  • “She’s a throat goat, dude.” – (B, 06:46)

• On supporting listeners:

  • “You’re kind of getting over the hump, the initial hump, right? And then you’re on a lifelong journey, you know? So just stay strong.” – (B, 08:09)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:00] – Midwest alternatives to sandwich bread
• [01:33] – Snack parenting & “Heavenly Hunks” review
• [03:36] – Helen Keller Sight Award tangent: jokes, skepticism, and absurdity
• [07:48] – Listener mail: quitting tobacco, crew encouragement
• [08:35] – Wraps up on a punchline about relapsing awards

Tone & Style

The You Betcha Radio crew leans heavily into off-the-cuff, irreverent and distinctly Midwest humor. The episode is playful, mixing semi-serious debates (“heavenly hunks: for kids or adults?”) with full-blown comedic riffs (“Helen Keller was a throat goat”). While they joke about conspiracy theories and make light of serious subjects, it’s always with a dose of self-awareness and camaraderie, both among themselves and toward their audience.

For listeners who missed the episode:
Expect a blend of wild hypotheticals, Midwest food talk, raunchy comedy, and genuine moments of encouragement, served up by a group of friends who aren’t afraid to be ridiculous.