You Betcha Radio, Ep. 347 — "What Football Coaches LOVE 🎙"

Date: October 8, 2025
Hosts: Myles ("Domino Dan"), Ryan, Tyler, Jared

Overview

This episode is classic "You Betcha Radio" — a fun, wide-ranging, and highly comedic take on all things Midwest and man culture, centered this week around a deep-dive into the quirks, habits, and clichés of football coaches. The crew — Myles (Domino Dan), Ryan, Tyler, and Jared — riff on their personal experiences and culture-shared observations about coaches, sports nostalgia, Midwest living, and more. The tone is irreverent, full of fond mockery, and peppered with wild tangents (from Dancing with the Stars to ideal firepits and ultimate golf courses).

Key Segments, Insights, and Memorable Moments

What Football Coaches Love: Deep Dive

[00:30–28:38]

1. The "War Room" Mentality & Over-the-Top Intensity

• The boys agree that coaches love comparing football to warfare:

  • "Football coaches love comparing football to actual warfare." (Domino Dan, [02:54])
  • "They don't call it the trenches for nothing." (Ryan, [03:00])
  • Coaches use phrases like “we’re going to war,” “trenches,” “air raid,” “dog fight,” etc.

• Vivid anecdotes on coaches getting hyped up, clapping aggressively, gritting teeth, and needing energy boosts:

  • "They just love to clap aggressively hard at things." (Ryan, [03:50])
  • "There's always, like, a teeth grind in there, too... they need a mouthguard when they sleep." (Tyler, [04:04])
  • Tyler shares about coaches loving assistants who surprise them with energy drinks or “an Adderall or something” ([04:16]).

2. Coaches’ Weird Little Habits and Superstitions

• Sunflower seeds, bubble gum, and chewing on whistles are rituals:

  • "They love having something in their mouth. Bubble gum. Chew. Sunflower seeds." (Domino Dan, [05:16])
  • "Coaches love when you play through the whistle." (Domino Dan, [05:57])

• Love of "heart, grit, next-man-up":

  • "Guy with heart plays through the whistle." (Ryan, [06:12])
  • "They love when the next guy is up." (Domino Dan, [06:26])

• Using the least talented player's success as moral lesson fodder:

  • "They love when a guy who sucks does something good because then they can use that person as an example." (Domino Dan, [06:38])
  • "This kid is a non-athletic... and he made a play; that means that we all should be making plays." (Domino Dan, [07:11])
  • "Kinda the Rudy of the group." (Jared, [07:27])

3. Variety of Coach Expressions & Pet Peeves

• Coaches’ disappointed pose: hands on hips, staring into the sky, shaking head:

  • "Coaches also love putting their hands on their hips, looking up into the sky... shaking their head out of disappointment." (Tyler, [07:38])

• Handling equipment “correctly” is a sacred rule:

  • "Football coaches hate seeing someone sitting on a helmet." (Domino Dan, [09:16])
  • "It’s a discipline thing. If they don’t have enough discipline to tuck in their jersey, how can I trust them to run the play correctly?" (Ryan, [09:29])

• Food and drink: obsession with Diet Coke, energy drinks, sunflower seeds ([10:28–10:38]).

• Coaches “love taking a knee,” in games, in practice, and even at home as a joke ([10:41–11:19]).

4. Practice and Control Freakishness

• Coaches secretly love restarting practice:

  • "They act like they hate it, but they really love it. Start over from the top." (Domino Dan, [15:19])

• Whistles are their prized tool:

  • "Football coach is also more than probably any other coach ever loves whistles." (Domino Dan, [16:24])
  • Conditioning drills are organized by whistle counts ([16:33]).

• Demonstrating reps; rag-dolling unprepared kids for effect:

  • "If someone is not doing a drill correctly, they love to demonstrate it themselves." (Tyler, [17:03])
  • "Coach acts like he’s going against an NFL player and just tosses the kid around." (Domino Dan, [17:36])

• Complaining about state-mandated water breaks; "If you waste my time, I'll waste yours" ([18:39–19:23]).

• Glorifying the scout team and film room grind:

  • "They love bragging about the scout team... all of the regular starting players fucking hate it." (Domino Dan, [19:54])
  • "They love talking about how many hours they're putting into the film room and how much time they spend at the office and how many times they sleep at the office." (Domino Dan, [21:28])
  • "Didn't see my wife for two years... and I had two kids in that time somehow." (Ryan, [21:17])

5. Coach-Speak and Eternal Optimism

• Love of “the game plan,” but also “go be an athlete” (i.e., just wing it):

  • “If you just follow the game plan, we’re gonna come out victorious.” (Tyler, [21:52])
  • “Just be an athlete.” (Ryan quoting his coach, [22:25])
  • "The laziest form of coaching of all time." (Domino Dan, [22:29])

• Coach speeches: from do-or-die to “just have fun out there!”:

  • “They'll talk about how we're going into war... then they’ll turn around and go, but remember, it's all about having fun.” (Domino Dan, [23:38])

• Post-game clichés: “it’s bigger than football,” “we’re building men” — tongue-in-cheek take on the insincerity of some of these lines ([24:06–25:37]).

6. Coaching Dynamics: Assistants, Head Coaches, and Off-Field Personas

• Assistants “care about the player,” vs. head coaches as CEOs ([26:49–27:09]).
• The “players’ coach” phenomenon; head coaches more removed ([27:05–27:40]).

Notable Quotes

• "We don't kill, we don't eat. That's a motto... Bite their kneecaps." (Defense coach slogans, [03:20])
• "If you're wasting his time, he would waste ours." (Ryan, about the passive-aggressive time-wasting punishment, [19:03])
• "Athletes don't get held." (Coach to complaining linebacker, [22:34])
• "But remember, have fun, guys." (The whiplash after a fire-and-brimstone speech, Jared, [23:33])
• "We're not in the business of building football players. We're in the business of building men." (Ryan, summarizing coach cliché, [25:33])

Tangents, Games & Midwest Life

Prize Picks Betting Anecdotes

[11:00–15:19]

• Myles accidentally wins $400 by procrastinating and submitting a modified lineup.
  • “I won $400 because the one that didn’t hit for them was the Vikings player. The late bird gets the prize picks.” (Domino Dan, [12:52])
  • “It pays to procrastinate.” (Jared, [13:04])

Midwest Firepit/Nostalgia Talk

[62:14–73:37]

• Long segment on ideal backyard firepits — quintessential Midwest dad chat:
  • Heated debate: in-ground vs. raised pits, best chairs (Adirondack insight: designed for sloped hills — [63:35]).
  • “It’s kind of nice to get up, go get a beer, take a leak, grab some beers for others, and come back” (Domino Dan, [66:54]).
  • Pissing in the dark, walking on pea rock, marshmallow logistics — all debated with comedic earnestness.

Board Game and Song Knowledge Fails ("Guess Who" Game)

[46:12–62:14]

• The crew plays a "Guess Who" trivia game; highlights include:
  • Tyler's hilarious lack of classic music artist knowledge:
    • “Who sings Sweet Home Alabama?” (Domino Dan, [57:45])
    • "Shania Twain?" (Tyler, [57:15])
    • "Led Zeppelin sings that. Doesn't he do a version of Stairway to Heaven?" (Domino Dan, [58:54])
  • Insight: classic dad/midwest knowledge gaps and "limewire mis-attribution" for song artists, fueling much teasing.

Dancing with the Stars Digression

[30:38–42:27]

• Myles and Ryan both watch DWTS with their wives, fast-forwarding through all “fluff,” critiquing dancers and costumes with comically inflated self-expertise:
  • “I found myself thinking that I know a lot about dance.” (Domino Dan, [31:23])
  • On Julianne Hough: “She is terrible at her job. Insufferable interviewer.” (Domino Dan, [34:51])
• General agreement: "Pants with strings are cheating."
• Audience Q: Multiple co-hosts have never seen the show.

Ultimate Country Club/Golf Course Fantasies

[74:48–83:19]

• The boys brainstorm the world’s greatest Midwest golf course. Highlights:
  • “Three nines” plus par-3 and pitch-n-putt courses, food must be top-tier, and a sportsbook in the clubhouse.
  • “Swingers welcome” — but only if they become swingers after joining the club ([76:56]).
  • Every par-3 has video cameras, members never look for balls (“old guy” spotter with raunchy jokes), unlimited golf balls and clubs, no out-of-bounds, free DD service for drunks.
  • "Just me and the guys in our towels, hanging out in a hot room." (Domino Dan, [78:11])
  • "There’s also going to be no out of bounds." (Domino Dan, [82:32])

Patron Q&A: Firepit Design and Final Midwest Dad Chat

[62:14–73:37]

• Advice on firepit: in-ground better for heat, patio chairs with cushions preferred, campfire camaraderie, and why Adirondack chairs are both iconic and weird.
• “It’s kind of nice to get up and move. Every time you come back, you’re warm again.” (Domino Dan, [66:54])

Fun Fact of the Week

• "In 2016, Mozart sold the most CDs out of anybody." (Jared, [74:03])

Style & Tone

• Fast-paced, buddy-banter, midwestern, self-deprecating, and constantly riffing with tongue-in-cheek nostalgia.
• The group’s dynamic relies on playful teasing and shared cultural touchstones.

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |------------------------------------|---------------| | Football Coach Deep Dive | 00:30–28:38 | | Prize Picks Story | 11:00–15:19 | | "Guess Who" Trivia Game | 46:12–62:14 | | Dancing with the Stars | 30:38–42:27 | | Firepit Design & Midwest Chat | 62:14–73:37 | | Ultimate Golf Course Dream | 74:48–83:19 | | Fun Fact of the Week | 74:03 |

For First-Time Listeners

This is a quintessential episode: come for the hilarious, dead-on observations about football and midwestern dads, stay for the off-the-rails tangents, and enjoy the gentle roasting and self-roasting that make “You Betcha Radio” a Midwest staple. Whether you’re a current player, a washed-up high school “heart and grit” guy, or just love man cave chat, this episode serves up nostalgia, comedy, and community in equal measure.

Cheers!