Tyler (1:41)

What's your superpower?

Guest (1:45)

Let's see. My superpower would probably be able to teleport anywhere.

Tyler (1:53)

Anywhere in current time or back in time or forward everything. Okay.

Ryan (2:00)

Every time you teleport, you have you your pants, you get diarrhea.

Tyler (2:05)

I mean, how long does he get diarrhea for? Like, is this like a one time or like the whole rest of the day? He's got diarrhea.

Ryan (2:13)

Like, right after he gets the. Out of the capsule. You.

Tyler (2:15)

You just shit your pants in the capsule?

Ryan (2:17)

Yeah.

Host (2:17)

Yeah.

Guest (2:17)

But if I'm aware of that, I'll just have a diaper on.

Host (2:20)

Sure. There's ways around it.

Tyler (2:22)

So you be diaper man.

Guest (2:23)

Yeah, Captain Diaper Man.

Ryan (2:29)

Like, I could run through the ocean. Like, I could walk on water, basically.

Tyler (2:34)

You can walk on water?

Ryan (2:35)

Yeah.

Host (2:35)

Jesus.

Ryan (2:36)

Yeah.

Tyler (2:37)

Aquaman.

Ryan (2:38)

I could, like, sprint across water too.

Host (2:40)

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So the side effect, you know, I chose this.

Tyler (2:43)

His origin story is that he almost drowned as a kid because he can't swim.

Ryan (2:49)

So superheroes work.

Tyler (2:50)

Yeah.

Guest (2:51)

You could go fishing without even needing a boat.

Ryan (2:53)

Right.

Guest (2:53)

That'd actually be kind of sick.

Ryan (2:55)

Run across a lake.

Host (2:56)

Yeah, we're gonna take a page out of Stephen King's book with his new movie coming out soon. You can walk.

Tyler (3:02)

Nerdiest answer.

Guest (3:03)

He had to work. The new movie coming into. Is this a promotion?

Tyler (3:05)

Is this a promo?

Guest (3:07)

Patreon's no ads.

Host (3:08)

Paramount's paying approach. If you want to walk on water, you cannot go below 3 mph or you will be shot or you'll die.

Ryan (3:18)

Okay, I can deal with that on the water.

Host (3:20)

Yep. If he's doing this, he'll die if he goes below a certain speed.

Guest (3:24)

Oh, so you. Well, yeah. You could troll, I guess you could. You could troll with, like, a bottom bouncer.

Ryan (3:29)

Yeah.

Guest (3:29)

If you're fishing, three miles an hour.

Ryan (3:31)

Is a little fast, But I can't really ice fish, which is fine.

Guest (3:35)

Or you can walk on that water even if you didn't have the super super power.

Host (3:38)

That's true.

Ryan (3:38)

Good point.

Tyler (3:40)

You're always ice fishing, essentially.

Guest (3:43)

Except he can't stop. And he can't stop.

Tyler (3:46)

That sucks. That's just annoy. Totally null and voids. The coolness of being.

Guest (3:50)

Yeah, well, it's.

Host (3:51)

So does your pants.

Tyler (3:52)

Not as bad, though.

Guest (3:54)

Diaper.

Host (3:55)

True.

Tyler (3:55)

Yeah. It's like, think about your kid shits his pants. Like, you're pretty in and out of that. Cleaning it up.

Guest (4:00)

Yeah, I would just. If I wanted to teleport anywhere, I would teleport to that time, but just to a bathroom specifically, so that I could just leave.

Tyler (4:10)

Really? Really.

Ryan (4:10)

That would work, though.

Tyler (4:11)

I would also, if I were you, what I would do is I'd make the time capsule also a shower.

Guest (4:17)

There we go. It's just stopping down.

Host (4:19)

Yeah.

Ryan (4:20)

Isn't it instant, though, if you time travel. Yeah.

Tyler (4:24)

So they do that, but then when you get there, instead of getting out of the capsule, you just take a shower. Quick.

Ryan (4:30)

Oh, there's a. Okay. There's a shower right by the capsule.

Tyler (4:32)

There's a cat. The capsule is a shower.

Host (4:35)

It comes with the water.

Tyler (4:36)

You know, like back to the Future. The car is the thing. The shower is. Ryan just goes in his shower and he teleports. That way.

Guest (4:44)

Yes.

Ryan (4:46)

Okay.

Tyler (4:47)

I got you. I got you.

Ryan (4:49)

I thought it, like, takes, like, five minutes to go somewhere and you're gonna be showering during it.

Guest (4:55)

No. Nope.

Tyler (4:57)

Yeah, you have to. You have to figure out. You have to be. Waffle Stop.

Ryan (5:06)

The Waffle Stopper 9000.

Tyler (5:08)

Dr. Diaper Waffle Stop. Yeah, that's his. That's his superpower move. Waffle Stomp.

Guest (5:18)

But if it's diarrhea. I don't even need to waffle stomp it.

Tyler (5:20)

That's true.

Ryan (5:21)

Good point.

Tyler (5:21)

You can go.

Guest (5:23)

So, I mean, I got answers.

Host (5:25)

That's just a quick rinse.

Guest (5:26)

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Host (5:27)

Yeah.

Guest (5:27)

A clean break. I don't even need tp.

Ryan (5:29)

It's like a bidet.

Host (5:30)

Yes, that is true. Actually.

Tyler (5:34)

Just the cleanest superhero, but he's clean because he's also the dirtiest superhero.

Host (5:39)

Yeah. Yep.

Guest (5:40)

Yeah. Walgreens number one customer. Just buying up the lotion.

Tyler (5:44)

Yeah.

Guest (5:44)

My skin is so chapped.

Host (5:50)

I'll do invisibility so I can Irish goodbye. Easier to plan it as much.

Tyler (5:56)

You can be invisible, Tyler. Okay, but every time you're not invisible, you just have a raging boner.

Host (6:06)

That's pretty funny.

Guest (6:09)

Duct tape.

Host (6:10)

Yeah. I mean, I could just wear compression shorts every day. Jeans, jeans, jeans. And compressions is my diaper.

Guest (6:17)

The baggy jeans are in right now, but when the skinny jeans come back, you're.

Host (6:21)

Yeah, but I'm at the age now where I don't have to be.

Tyler (6:24)

Just imagine if he's invisible, then goes uninvisible in a place he's not supposed to be, and he just be appears with a raging like a school. How alarming that would be for everyone. Yeah. Good luck taking your kids to school, Tyler.

Ryan (6:41)

100Ft.

Host (6:42)

I could have the compression shorts. I'd be fine.

Guest (6:44)

Like high school wrestling practice.

Host (6:49)

Why am I going to high school wrestling practices?

Tyler (6:51)

Well, you. You got. You acquired this as a kid.

Guest (6:53)

Yeah.

Tyler (6:54)

As soon as you could pop a bee, you. You acquire the ability.

Host (6:58)

Yeah. Okay.

Ryan (6:59)

That's the origin.

Guest (6:59)

Yeah, you can't go to.

Tyler (7:00)

That's the origin story. Your first boner. You were so embarrassed that you wanted to become invisible.

Guest (7:05)

Ah.

Host (7:10)

I can live with this one.

Tyler (7:12)

You're gonna have to.

Guest (7:15)

But on the plus, you're going to be ready at all times.

Host (7:17)

That's true.

Tyler (7:19)

Could become a porn star.

Host (7:20)

Could.

Tyler (7:21)

Guys, if you want more, you bet your radio. You gotta check out our Patreon. You gotta go to patreon.com you bets radio or look us up on the app. And we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you gotta check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.