What Your Wife Wants For Valentine's Day 🎙 #313

Summary

Podcast Summary: "What Your Wife Wants For Valentine's Day 🎙 #313"

Podcast Information:

• Title: You Betcha Radio
• Host/Authors: Miles (The You Betcha Guy), Ryan (The T-Shirt Guy), Tyler, and Jared
• Episode: What Your Wife Wants For Valentine's Day 🎙 #313
• Release Date: February 12, 2025
• Description: The most "Midwest" podcast on the planet, delving into man culture, nostalgia, and Midwest life with plenty of comedy.

---

1. Introduction to the Episode

The episode kicks off with Miles welcoming listeners back to the studio, mentioning that Jared is feeling under the weather. The hosts engage in light-hearted banter about Jared’s condition, setting a comedic tone for the episode.

Notable Quotes:

• Miles [00:00]: "Welcome back to You Betcha Radio Podcast, the coldest podcast in all the Midwest."
• Miles [00:27]: "Jared's not feeling that good."

2. Announcement of the First Annual Patrons Choice Awards (PCAs)

The hosts excitedly introduce the inaugural Patrons Choice Awards, a unique award show exclusively available on Patreon and voted upon by their patrons. They outline the various categories and nominees, emphasizing the community-driven aspect of the awards.

Notable Quotes:

• Miles [01:02]: "Because today we are announcing the categories and nominations for the first annual Patrons Choice Awards."
• Ryan [02:05]: "We don't want patrons dying... they’re super excited."

3. Award Categories and Nominee Discussions

Each category is discussed in detail, with the hosts humorously debating the nominees and their merits. The categories include:

• Guest of the Year: Nominees include Miles’s wife Charlie Barrons, the H Vac guy from episode 260, and the road trippers guy driving his girlfriend's Jeep.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Tyler [02:35]: "You gotta do it like... And the nominees are."

• Accident of the Year: Featuring incidents such as Tyler smashing Slash and breaking his leg, Ryan smashing a light pole, and the historical Boston Molasses Disaster.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Miles [03:52]: "There’s only one option where people died."
  • Miles [04:03]: "That’s one of those situations where... you can always be like, we didn’t know."

• Grittiest Performance: Highlighting Jared wearing a black sweatshirt in hot weather, Jared eating Chinese before a half marathon, and Tyler breaking his leg yet throwing a touchdown.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Jared [06:40]: "For the 10k and it was fine. Obviously, I wasn’t fine for the half marathon."
  • Miles [08:43]: "It took us three years. Four. Three. Three years."

• Gamble of the Year: Featuring bets on the Kindred high school basketball team and other humorous wagers.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Ryan [10:36]: "It's confidence pick and it's confidence of the year."
  • Miles [14:40]: "I won $1,800."

• Best Sex Haver: A playful category with nominees based on confirmed and unconfirmed sex sessions among the hosts.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Tyler [15:29]: "Three confirmed sex sessions."
  • Jared [15:51]: "I don’t think I’m gonna win this one."

• Additional categories include Patron Question of the Year, Death of the Year, Best Wedding Moment, and Best Moment, each accompanied by humorous discussions and nominations.

Notable Quotes:

• Miles [16:30]: "What do you do when you accidentally make yourself important at work?"
• Jared [19:26]: "Jared’s fish that died."

4. Voting Process and Upcoming PCA Event

The hosts explain how patrons can vote for their favorite nominees by visiting their Patreon page. They build excitement for the upcoming award show, describing plans for a green carpet, musical guests, and a more polished presentation.

Notable Quotes:

• Miles [29:28]: "Voting will be opening up next week... go to patreon.com/youbeteyouradio."
• Tyler [30:33]: "We’re rolling out the whole carpet."

5. Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for Wives

Transitioning to the main theme, the hosts brainstorm and joke about the best gifts to give wives for Valentine’s Day. Suggestions range from practical items like Roombas and cleaning services to more personal touches like babysitters or romantic getaways.

Notable Quotes:

• Miles [38:06]: "I think the best gift you can get your wife for Valentine's Day is a Roomba."
• Tyler [42:22]: "I went with a babysitter that doesn’t live at your house."

6. Humorous Anecdotes and Relationship Talk

Throughout the discussion, the hosts share funny stories and insights about maintaining relationships, handling household chores, and balancing romance with everyday responsibilities. The conversation is filled with playful teasing and camaraderie, reflecting the podcast’s comedic flair.

Notable Quotes:

• Miles [39:12]: "Nothing turns your wife on more than a clean house."
• Tyler [43:54]: "Trying to get some... is like the show Silent Library."

7. Fun Segment: The Meaning of XOXO

Jared shares an interesting tidbit about the origins of "XOXO," explaining that the "X" symbolizes the Christian cross and a kiss, while the "O" represents an oath. The hosts humorously debate the correct interpretation, adding another layer of lightheartedness to the episode.

Notable Quotes:

• Jared [76:20]: "XOXO is a popular signature this time of year... it came to mean something had been sealed with a kiss."
• Miles [77:09]: "So you’d sign an X at the end, which would signify, I am sealing this letter with a kiss."

8. Road Tripping Segment

In the latter part of the episode, the hosts embark on a road trip to Gran Casino in Hinckley, Minnesota. They discuss their betting strategies, local landmarks, and the quirky aspects of their journey, maintaining the podcast’s humorous and engaging tone.

Notable Quotes:

• Miles [82:12]: "We are road tripping. Where are we road tripping to?"
• Tyler [85:14]: "If the wind comes from the south, it smells like human because of their above-ground lagoons."

9. Conclusion and Farewell

The episode wraps up with the hosts reflecting on their adventures, teasing future episodes, and reminding listeners to participate in the upcoming PCAs. They maintain their signature humor until the very end, leaving listeners entertained and eager for more.

Notable Quotes:

• Miles [85:02]: "Pray for an east wind today."
• Tyler [88:53]: "We just drove past my hometown."

---

Final Thoughts: Episode #313 of You Betcha Radio is a blend of humor, community engagement, and genuine discussions about relationships and everyday life. From announcing their first Patrons Choice Awards to offering quirky Valentine's Day gift ideas and sharing road trip stories, the hosts create an entertaining and relatable listening experience. Notable quotes punctuate the conversations, adding depth and personality to the lively banter.

Listeners unfamiliar with the podcast will find this episode both amusing and insightful, showcasing the hosts' chemistry and their unique take on Midwestern culture and manhood.

Transcript

[Miles]

Welcome back to you bet, your radio podcast. The coldest podcast in all the Midwest. I am Miles, the you betcha guy here with Ryan the T shirt guy. And we are live. And we're back in the studio and we're feeling good.

[Ryan]

Yes, we are.

[Miles]

I am feeling good. You guys feeling good?

[Tyler]

Feeling good.

[Miles]

Jared's not feeling that good.

[Jared]

Nope.

[Miles]

Sicker than a dog.

[Jared]

Yeah, dog.

[Miles]

Yeah, he was wheezing before this.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

We're gonna need to disinfect his mic and. Or the keyboard and cameras and his desk and fumigate it. Most of the office area after today.

[Tyler]

I did notice I had Jared watch a video that I edited and I could hear a lot of heavy exhales. And I thought he was just doing the classic to all my jokes that I edited the video. So I don't know anymore if Jared actually liked the video or not.

[Jared]

Yeah, I don't even know. I was watching.

[Tyler]

I just.

[Jared]

That was good, Tyler.

[Miles]

Great job.

[Tyler]

Thanks.

[Ryan]

Well, yeah, he could have been doing some box breathing too.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Wim Hof technique.

[Miles]

But Jared couldn't miss today. No, Jared had to be here. Because today we are announcing the categories and nominations for the first annual Patrons Choice Awards. Jared. Yeah. Clap. Oh, Gotcha.

[Ryan]

Labor clap.

[Miles]

I got so. Big day. This is first ever patrons choice awards. PCAs for short. All of these. This. This is award show that's exclusive. Exclusively available on Patreon. And it's exclusively voted upon by the patrons, hence the name Patrons Choice Award. Thus.

[Ryan]

Thus the name.

[Miles]

So should we just dive right in?

[Tyler]

I think they've been dying for this.

[Ryan]

How many categories?

[Tyler]

The patrons. They're excited.

[Miles]

Okay. Yeah.

[Ryan]

We don't want patrons dying. We get less votes. That's true. They're just. They're super excited.

[Miles]

Okay, so our first category for the PCA is Guest of the Year. And there are four nominees. One is and my beautiful, wonderful, lovely wife, Charlie barrons. The H Vac guy from episode 260. And the road Trippers guy who was driving his girlfriend's Jeep. So that's the category and the nominees for. Of the year.

[Tyler]

You gotta do it like. And the nominees are.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, that's. I'm saving that for.

[Ryan]

Yeah, the pca.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

I got so much host in him.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, what do you want me to just. It would be Ryan Seacrest on every single one of these.

[Tyler]

Just saying that's what they do on all the other shows. If we want to compete, we want to take down the people.

[Miles]

If I give it to them all now, they're not gonna go and watch the PCAs on Patreon.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Jared]

They should have award shows for the best award show.

[Tyler]

They should.

[Ryan]

That's.

[Miles]

That would probably raise the. Probably raise the. The bar for award shows and get.

[Ryan]

Some competitiveness in there, right?

[Jared]

Yeah. Yeah, I think we'd win. We haven't done it yet.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, well, mentally, I've already won that awards.

[Jared]

True. That's true.

[Miles]

So category number two is Accident of the Year, one of my personal favorites.

[Ryan]

Good one.

[Miles]

Tyler smashing Slash Breaking his leg is the first nominee. The second is Ryan smashing a light pole.

[Ryan]

That'll end up in there.

[Miles]

And the third nominee for Accident of the year is the Boston Molasses Disaster.

[Ryan]

Quite the accident. Some may say.

[Miles]

Allah, I don't want to skew any people's votes, but there's only one option where people died.

[Tyler]

Yeah. So I don't want to skew people's votes, but there are some people online saying the Boston Molasses dash, there might have been an inside job. So was it even an accident?

[Miles]

Oh, damn it. Okay, well, let's get this out before they truly uncover the truth, because then we can always be like, we didn't know.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I mean, it's one of those situations where it's like, well, if you have. You have to put your. Yourself in the time when this was going on, you know?

[Ryan]

Yeah. And from what I've been hearing, like, you know, JFK assassination. Those files release MLK released. I hear that next on list is.

[Miles]

The right BMD files are being released soon, Right.

[Tyler]

To your local congressman. Yeah, we got to get those files released.

[Miles]

That's right.

[Jared]

And then maybe Ryan smashed his light pole because he wanted more attention. It wasn't an accident.

[Ryan]

Yeah, maybe I just had a quick 500 from prize picks laying around, pay for a new door.

[Tyler]

And maybe my leg breaking wasn't. Maybe Trevor did that on purpose.

[Ryan]

Maybe he just pulled that X ray from the Internet. How do we even know that's Tyler's X ray?

[Tyler]

It says my name on it.

[Miles]

That is true. I bet if you just foot X ray, it's that for sure.

[Tyler]

Google it.

[Miles]

We don't even know. He's probably like the. The. The girl in high school that always just had crutches.

[Tyler]

Yeah, crutches. And no brace, no nothing.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's like, how have you been injured for six months with crutches?

[Tyler]

She's trying to get out of gym class.

[Miles]

Yeah. And honestly, now this dust has somewhat settled on Ryan's or Tyler's leg. I don't Think it was as bad as he was making it out to be?

[Tyler]

I didn't make it out to be that bad.

[Miles]

He milked that for everything it was worth.

[Tyler]

He drank milk now?

[Miles]

Yeah, he milked it. Now all he does is drink milk. All right, the next category is the Best supporting Actor. The nominees are Dave Flops and Ryan's College Buddies.

[Tyler]

This is a big one.

[Miles]

This might be the largest category we have. Yeah. Star studded, I would say.

[Tyler]

I really don't think anyone has an edge. It's anyone's award.

[Ryan]

Pretty. It's pretty.

[Miles]

I think. Yeah. It's going to come down to personal preference. I don't think anyone's got a leg up on the other. The next category is Grittiest Performance. The not. This one's a lot of nominations.

[Ryan]

There's a lot of grit in this room.

[Miles]

We're oozing it. The nominees are Jared wearing a black sweatshirt on the roof during the podcast when it was 90 degrees out in August. Second is Jared eating Chinese, then running a half marathon. Jared, I. I still to this day can't fathom the logic behind this.

[Jared]

Sodium.

[Tyler]

Sodium's bad.

[Ryan]

Well, sodium helps you retain water, though. At the same time, I did it.

[Jared]

For the 10k and it was fine. Obviously, I wasn't fine for the half marathon.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's not that crazy, but now.

[Miles]

You know, that's on my list of stuff I don't ever want to eat before a physical event.

[Jared]

It was the night before.

[Miles]

I think you were. You're confusing carbo load with sodium load.

[Ryan]

And now you know the line that teeters between 10k and half marathon. The line of eating Chinese food night before.

[Jared]

I can see. I do. Yeah.

[Ryan]

So.

[Miles]

So you're basically saying you don't even have to train for a 10k, but you do for a half marathon.

[Jared]

No, that's what I'm saying, though.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, that's basically what you're saying.

[Jared]

No, I just didn't train hard enough. Chinese had nothing to do with it. It probably helped me because didn't we.

[Miles]

Were we like. Were we like Jared's like, yeah, it didn't go good. We're like, well, what'd you like? What'd you eat before the race? Chinese food before. I mean, I was stunned.

[Ryan]

We got to the bottom of it right away, though.

[Miles]

If I had been standing, you would have had me on my knees.

[Ryan]

Yeah. PCA's next year. Performance of the year could be.

[Miles]

Jared come back.

[Ryan]

Yeah, Jared's, er, half marathon.

[Tyler]

Add that to next year.

[Ryan]

Come back of the year I got news for you.

[Miles]

I've traded all yet we put Kim Kardashian on that.

[Jared]

Topical.

[Miles]

Next nominee for this category is Tyler breaking his leg and then throwing a touchdown.

[Tyler]

Hey, that's my Tom Brady moment.

[Miles]

Don't know how we squeezed him into multiple categories. Same injury. I guess this year I should just get injured and then just get a bunch of PCAs.

[Tyler]

Hey, I haven't won any of them.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, the risk. Risk to reward ratio.

[Miles]

This is more of a group gritty performance. The group. We do the group gritty together. Selling 5,000 togs.

[Tyler]

Hell, yeah.

[Miles]

It took us three years. Four. Three. Three years.

[Ryan]

20. I think it was summer of 2021.

[Miles]

Four years it took us, but we sold. That's over a thousand tongs a year.

[Ryan]

Yeah. That's fucking huge. And, like, we never gave up.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Never gave up.

[Miles]

That's kind of the definition of grit.

[Ryan]

Yeah, for sure. No giving up.

[Miles]

Not that I'm trying to skew anyone's thoughts here. Eating Chinese food before running a half marathon is crazy.

[Ryan]

It's up there with some of the best.

[Miles]

Next nominee for this category is Ryan fighting through allergies at Miles's wedding.

[Ryan]

Yep. I mean, yeah. Yeah. The springtime in March.

[Miles]

And then the final nominee for grittiest performance is all of Miles's flu game performances. I asked Jared to look up some of my greatest flu game performances, and he said, I don't have time for that. So we just lumped them together.

[Tyler]

Well, you did ask him to find all. Not just a handful. All of your flu game performance.

[Jared]

You just made them up.

[Ryan]

Yeah. We would have never known.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, we're not quite on the level of ESPN where we can pull up stats from 79 and what the weather was that day. But we're getting there.

[Jared]

We're getting there.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's like this is first. First award show. By the fifth award show, I mean, we're gonna be dialed.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Data's just not there.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah. Look at first super bowl. And like, the most recent Super Bowl. It's night and day, literally.

[Miles]

Yeah. One was at night. One was that day. Yeah. Yeah, that day. All right, the next category is the gamble of the year.

[Tyler]

I like this one.

[Miles]

Unfortunately, one nomination that didn't make it that I thought would would be flops is gambling on a fart and. And not his pants. But that one didn't make it in there. So nominees for gamble of the year is Miles and Ryan's bet on Kindred high school basketball team. And I want to rem of how good of a. A better Ryan is. He took one team in the entire state and I took all of the other teams in the rest of the state with no odds.

[Ryan]

It's confidence, though. That's that. It's confidence pick and it's confidence of the year.

[Jared]

Do you have a kindred update? How are they doing this year?

[Ryan]

If I were to look at the amount of losses, I wouldn't be able to count any of them because there are none yet.

[Miles]

And he is, he's trying to get me to shake in my boots a little bit. When he started showing me a highlight sizzle reel. Lot of dunks. Oh, yeah, there's even a 360 dunk in a game. Not talking warm ups. We're talking game. Yeah, Geez.

[Ryan]

So I'll show you guys a video.

[Miles]

But again, distracted. They're too worried about getting on the highlight reel. I mean, next the kid's going to try and do a honey dip dunk. You know, do get. Get. Have to do Tommy John surgery and their whole season's down the toilet.

[Ryan]

Well, yeah, and I think, I mean it's, I think the dunks are more.

[Miles]

Vince Carter out there. Like, let's play as a team.

[Ryan]

I mean, the dunks are just rewards for hard defense.

[Miles]

And I just want to remind you that a dunk is the same amount of points as the layup.

[Ryan]

That's correct. Yeah.

[Miles]

So throw showed me a highlight reel of them draining three pointers. I may would be shaking my boots.

[Jared]

More or a nice.

[Ryan]

See, basketball is g momentum though. And when you, when you can throw it on a 360, you know, 360 dunk by your sophomore point guard, then it's like that creates momentum.

[Tyler]

But then four, doing 360 days.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's quite impressive. But if the team walks down the court the other way right after the 360 dunk and drains the three pointer, you're still down one point.

[Ryan]

Yeah, gritty performance. It's just hard to drain a three after that, you know, Anyway, you call, you gotta call timeout as a good coach, which we have. A good coach calls timeout out after that too. I mean, it's a community.

[Miles]

You didn't go to this high school. And two, your kid is so far away from going to this high school. I, I know we have to do this podcast for like another like 14, well, like five, 16 years before your kids even has a shot at varsity basketball.

[Ryan]

He's just got to be in the school system. So we're talking like what Four years. When do they go to kindergarten?

[Tyler]

Five.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's a two and a half.

[Miles]

Whoa.

[Ryan]

Two and a half years.

[Miles]

Whoa. No, you can't play anyways.

[Ryan]

But like when school system thing, when.

[Jared]

Kindred loses state, you're going to say they. You're not going to say.

[Ryan]

No, no, I did not once seclude myself.

[Miles]

He's going to call the coach a dumbass after he just got done saying he's great coach.

[Ryan]

No, because the coach's job is taken care of during practice.

[Miles]

Oh.

[Ryan]

It's a player's job during the game.

[Miles]

Okay, Got it. The next nominee is Jared winning shake of the day. Spoiler alert, by the way.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Jared one chick of the day Controversy behind that, but tough to, you know, it was electric moment. Jared. But the next nominee is shake of the day. The shake of the day pot roulette winnings.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Double their money.

[Tyler]

That was fun.

[Ryan]

Without the roulette winnings, this Jared shake of the day moment doesn't become as electric.

[Tyler]

Correct.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

About half is exciting.

[Ryan]

Controversy around that.

[Miles]

And the last nominee is. Our prize picks, Cooper rush. More than 224 and a half. Rush our pass yards. Yep. Which we hit on.

[Tyler]

We did.

[Miles]

And I won $1,800.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, I hit on it. You guys tailed.

[Miles]

So what happened to this? See, this is the kindred High school basketball way.

[Ryan]

I got it.

[Miles]

All of a sudden, everyone. All of a sudden everyone's just got to get theirs out there playing as a team. You know, they got to go to Bismar for a state tournament. They're worried about smoking weed and drinking in the hotel with all their other high school buddies, and they're just half as good as they are normally. So go to DE's. Anyways, next category is the best sex haver. First nominee is Tyler with three confirmed sex sessions.

[Ryan]

Three confirmed kill.

[Miles]

The next nominee is Ryan with two confirmed sex sessions. The third nominee is Miles with one confirmed sex session. And bringing up the rear is Jared with zero confirmed sex sessions.

[Jared]

I don't think I'm gonna win this one.

[Miles]

Any guy. Any guy who can, you know, get the. Well, I guess we don't know if you can get the job done yet, so mind that. Just throws out the window.

[Ryan]

Yeah, but as the. The late and great Kobe Bryant once said, job's not done mentality. Job, job finished. Job not finished.

[Tyler]

Next year grittiest performance is Jared getting the job done.

[Miles]

That's right.

[Ryan]

That's right.

[Jared]

What a guy.

[Miles]

All right, the next category is the patron question of the Year. These are, you know, questions that led to some great discussions on the podcast.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

First one is what do you do when you accidentally make yourself important at work? Who said that one? Jared. I recently became a foreman on a big project and I just supposed to fake it till I make it. That was J Train.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And that led to a reel about becoming a manager. That really popped off.

[Miles]

The next one is what makes guys say hell yeah. Hell yeah when you see it. That was Jordan Anderson. We had our first Stump Ryan question that actually stumped Ryan. It was hashtag Stump Ryan. How many miles away is the sun?

[Ryan]

Stomped Cape Dog?

[Miles]

Stumped him.

[Ryan]

Even though we got the answer. I don't know.

[Jared]

Pick one more guess.

[Ryan]

It's like. Well, it's. It's some. A number point something to a degree.

[Jared]

No.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

It's like 190000 miles, right?

[Miles]

No.

[Tyler]

Was that. That was your guess?

[Miles]

No, no.

[Ryan]

I guess like 2 million or something.

[Jared]

91 million miles.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And the last nominee is. What is the laziest thing you've witnessed your husband doing? This must have been on the wives podcast.

[Tyler]

It was.

[Miles]

That was huge. Janus. We then have. Which is a great segue into the next category, the Patron name of the year. I'm just gonna list them off. Riding Pine String Bean, Shiplap, Sheely, Mount Pleasure, Uranus, Lou Sassole, Billy Rye, the Sandwich Guy, Dunk, Don Key, Dick Haywood, Jablo, Megler Mocker, Wilma Finger Do, Barb Dwyer and Danny Backus bringing up the rear. Great Patron names, great patrons names. We have episode of the year, Ice fishing special episode, the Road Trippers. Two things that make you say hell yeah.

[Ryan]

Hell yeah.

[Miles]

Wives, episode on Patreon, Saki Bukaki, episode on Patron, and Couples counseling with Anne. So those are the episodes of the year. All right, the next one, let's maybe. You know, we've been a lot of giggles. We've been lots of laughs. But the PCAs are also about making sure and ensuring that you think about life and what it has to offer. And with life comes what? Taxes. Taxes and death. Only two guaranteed things in life. And so the next category is Death of the Year. Thank you for that moment of silence. First nominee is Finn Diesel.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

Jared's fish that died.

[Ryan]

Yep. Miles is under investigation.

[Miles]

Miles is 60 pounds of fat.

[Ryan]

Rest in peace.

[Miles]

That one I don't feel so bad about murdering.

[Jared]

That could burn it out. Yeah, Yeah, I burned that.

[Miles]

I burned that fat in hell. Big blue.

[Ryan]

Rest in peace.

[Miles]

You're. You're our Boy blue. We still have the air.

[Ryan]

Peace.

[Miles]

Don't. I wouldn't put my mouth on that. I know. The air's insane. Next nominee for death of the year is Tyler's grill.

[Ryan]

Rest in peace again.

[Miles]

And bur in hell. And the last nominee for death of the year is. Jared. Jared's twin sized cot.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

She gone rip to Jared's twin sized cot.

[Ryan]

Well, Jared and his wife's twin size cot. I remember. You know, joint.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. Next category is a phenomenal category. Let's crank it back up. Have a good time. It is the best wedding moment. We've all been married now. And so the first nominee is Jared's dad's speech and prize picks. Plug.

[Tyler]

Pick a prize.

[Ryan]

Pick a prize.

[Miles]

The next moment Wedding. Best wedding moment is Ryan's ring warming ceremony. What a moment that was.

[Ryan]

No one was cold during that course.

[Miles]

Next nominee is Jared's tree attendant. Hell of a performance.

[Ryan]

Yep. It also. It was debatable whether we wanted to put that under grittiest performance as well.

[Miles]

It almost made it in and slipped it into that one as well. And almost made it in just. Best moment.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

The next nominee is Tyler's dad's drone.

[Tyler]

I mean, he's going to be proud of that.

[Miles]

Is he?

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

If he wins.

[Tyler]

If he wins, he's. I'm sure he's gonna be proud just to be nominated.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You could get it if he's down. You could get a. A video in case he wins of his acceptance speech.

[Tyler]

He. I'll have him film it of himself on the drone.

[Miles]

Y just can't hear anything. Just.

[Tyler]

He actually. Bad news about the drone.

[Jared]

Oh, no.

[Tyler]

He crashed that because it was too cold. The batteries died and it was like it's rescue mode or whatever. When the batteries died. Failed.

[Miles]

Oh.

[Tyler]

Well, I think it's. I think it's our savable, but we'll see.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean that's what happens when you fly too close to the sun. You're going to get burned. I don't know. Another nominee for best wedding moment is Miles's tiny chairs.

[Jared]

I don't remember that one.

[Tyler]

They weren't that tiny. They were just. You had to sit on each other's laps because they were so close to each other.

[Miles]

Oh, okay. I. I'm gonna go on a limb and say that one's not gonna win, but thanks for including my wedding in this.

[Tyler]

Yes, guys.

[Ryan]

Well, you got another one.

[Tyler]

The last. I thought the last one was supposed to be Ryan's gritty, not his allergies because Allergies was already on there.

[Miles]

Do you want to change it?

[Tyler]

I. I think it's fine.

[Jared]

Change the what?

[Tyler]

Because I thought there was. I thought there was two from your wedding.

[Miles]

I don't know if we talked about Ryan Gritty Inc. Did we?

[Ryan]

We did. I don't remember if it was Gritty under Gritty's performance or best wedding moment, though. Yeah. Because my allergies are already in Grittiest performance.

[Miles]

Tyler's leg got nominated twice. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Fair. Yes. I just.

[Miles]

I was getting on the same page.

[Tyler]

Sorry. I just thought that wedding was on there.

[Miles]

It's fine. We. We're done. We did it. It's done. It's not gonna win anything. Definitely not gonna win Ryan's allergies. Last Nov. For best wedding moment. Hey, and then is this the last one? Last category?

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

Yep. Last category is best moment. This is just a moment in general. First nominee is Jared, thinking he was high on THC roulette, which it turns out he just had a soda pop.

[Tyler]

Orange Crush for James.

[Ryan]

Two beers and Orange Crush.

[Miles]

The next nominee is Tyler losing his mind talking about grilling.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

And when I say losing his mind, I thought he was maybe gonna quit the company when he left the office that night. Bridger. I went home and said, and I may have to put out a job listing because Tyler lost his mind over a propane grill.

[Tyler]

All kinds of grills, really.

[Miles]

I mean, it really. Like, you know, you and I argue quite a bit. Tyler, you and I argue. Me and Jared don't really argue, but Tyler and Jared, I feel like, never argue. Except for one time.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

And that was when Tyler lost his mind talking about grilling.

[Ryan]

Also, shout out to Jared for sticking up for himself, too, though.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Jared]

Shout me, I guess.

[Tyler]

Shout out you Greatest performance snubbed.

[Miles]

Next nominee is Miles getting really cut as a New Year's resolution. And clearly not getting cut.

[Tyler]

Well, at the time, too. You were your at your heaviest.

[Miles]

Well.

[Ryan]

Only he can talk about how big.

[Miles]

Thank you. Jesus Christ.

[Tyler]

You just put your weight out there for people to vote on.

[Ryan]

You didn't put a number.

[Miles]

I didn't put a number.

[Tyler]

There's one that says miles is 60. That's a number.

[Ryan]

Total number, though.

[Miles]

It's like an approximate number.

[Tyler]

It doesn't say approximately.

[Miles]

Jesus.

[Ryan]

We're all about round numbers here. It's like keeping volume on tv.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

What the.

[Miles]

That was at a time when Miles literally looked like Jabba the Hut is. What? What? Tyler, just. Have you seen the Ghostbusters when the big marshmallow thing. That's what Miles looked like then. He was so fat. He was. He was so fat.

[Ryan]

Yeah. If we had a.

[Miles]

That's basically what Tyler said.

[Ryan]

Pretty much.

[Miles]

Thanks, Tyler.

[Tyler]

Good job on losing it.

[Miles]

Anyway, I was pretty fat.

[Jared]

Phat.

[Miles]

Yeah. It was like I was fat. My face was fat enough to where if you looked at me from the front, you couldn't see my ears. So.

[Jared]

That'S all right.

[Miles]

That'll happen, you know.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Bigger jobs.

[Miles]

It's what happens when you sacrifice your mental and physical body for this company.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You were on keto before we started this company.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You were in ketosis.

[Miles]

Two strong months of keto. Lost 40 pounds.

[Jared]

This is roller coaster.

[Miles]

Lost 40 pounds of too much. Met Anne and then just gained weight ever since. Poor galaxy.

[Ryan]

She stuck with you through it, though. That could be maybe Gritty's performance. Honorable mention.

[Jared]

And sticking through it through thick and thin.

[Tyler]

Hey, wow.

[Miles]

Cool it again.

[Ryan]

Wait for him to. That was.

[Tyler]

That was their couple name. Thick and thin.

[Jared]

Tnt.

[Miles]

I wasn't that fat. I was just more dense. Jesus Christ. My bigger bones back then. Next nominee is Ryan's Duck Walk. Oh. We debated putting this on here, depending on if Ryan has seen therapy about this yet or not, but he gave us the Chuck Norris thumbs up.

[Tyler]

Thank you, Chuck.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we already. Like I said, we already sold merch on it.

[Miles]

Words. Oh, this ship probably sailed on talking about it too much.

[Ryan]

Yeah, no, it's all good. I didn't think anything.

[Miles]

The next nominee is the Shriners loudspeaker bit. That was the origin of the loudspeaker bit, correct?

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

Great moment. I don't know how we ended up there.

[Jared]

I don't either, because that was an episode. It was. Me and Tyler were gone. It was Jake here. So I don't remember either. I have to look back on it.

[Miles]

Yeah. I don't know what happened. Next thing I knew, we were in a CVS with driving carts around.

[Jared]

I should look back on it.

[Miles]

Anyways. And the last nominee for best moment is the mountain lion debate that I clearly won.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I actually saw a comment come in on, like, Instagram or something on that video from. From how many years back?

[Ryan]

Years.

[Tyler]

It's like four years now.

[Miles]

And someone saw that video and commented and said that I won. So I think that it's like, what's a clear judge of who won four years later after the smoke and dust is settled?

[Ryan]

I think, like, if we get. If we got confirmation from a wildlife biologist, then I think there'd be a clear Winner.

[Tyler]

I'd agree.

[Miles]

I think there was a clear winner.

[Tyler]

I think that's up for debate.

[Miles]

I don't think it is. So is that all the categories? Yep, those are the categories, folks. And the nominees for the 2025 Patrons Choice Awards voting will be opening up next week. So when our podcast comes out next Wednesday, you will be able to vote already. And the way to vote is you go to patreon.com. you bet your radio.

[Tyler]

We'll pin the voting at the top.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Miles]

Pin the voting at the top. Go to Patreon. Sign up. Then you'll. There'll be a link that you click to cast your vote. And may the best man win. Or woman.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Or fish. Or.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Or leg.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Thing. Idea.

[Miles]

So we're very excited. We've been planning the run of show. We're pulling out all the stops. It's going to be the green carpet.

[Tyler]

We're rolling out the whole carpet.

[Miles]

We're rolling out the green carpet. There will be musical guests. There will be a host.

[Jared]

Will they bubbly?

[Miles]

Yeah. We can pop. We can be popping bottles. There will be people presenting awards. It's going to be legit. And, you know, we're not just going to wear what we wear every day. We're gonna, you know, dress to the nines, maybe even the tens.

[Ryan]

Tyler's making frozen pizzas.

[Tyler]

I am.

[Miles]

You're gonna want to bring your own frozen pizzas.

[Tyler]

I mean, I can still make them.

[Miles]

Yeah. I don't. I. I think I'll make my own pizza.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Hey, appreciate the offer.

[Tyler]

It's really nice of you, but I didn't offer.

[Ryan]

I.

[Miles]

I think we got it. I don't know if we ever talked about that.

[Tyler]

We did. We talked about when we did the wife's recap because I fed Ryan's kid for him, but it wasn't good enough.

[Miles]

Okay, well. Well, you know how, like, when you're around a bonfire and you have some cardboard, you throw in there and then it, like, starts on fire and if you were to take it out before it completely burnt, that was like, what? The pizza that, that.

[Tyler]

That Tyler cooked for, it was toasty. I. I won't lie, but I was distracted.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It's.

[Ryan]

Well, it was just well done. I think that's how it was ordered.

[Tyler]

It wasn't black.

[Ryan]

I think. I think.

[Miles]

Goes.

[Tyler]

The edges were.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. And I think I. Was it you who asked my kid how. He's like. He's like, hey, how's the pizza? And my kid goes country.

[Miles]

You know, they talk about if there's flop on a pizza.

[Tyler]

There was no flop.

[Miles]

It's that inverse flop. It was actually like. Because it was like shrinking because it got so hot it like started to curl up instead of flopping down. It was like a. It was like a. Like a U shaped slice of pizza by the end of it.

[Jared]

Like a bowl.

[Tyler]

It was, it was like a taco pizza pizza bowl to it. It had curl to it.

[Ryan]

Like a hard shell taco.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So, yeah, hey, we'll handle the catering, please. What does suck is Tyler's never gonna bring any food for us ever again. It's the one downside of this podcast gets you in trouble. It was. We appreciate you thinking of us.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Well, thanks for the laugh too. Because, like, some stuff may be like how they keep ganging up on me, but also, like, it. It creates a laugh for us all or for three of us.

[Tyler]

That's why I did it.

[Miles]

I wish you wouldn't have done it for a laugh half. But, you know, in your defense, you got like eight kids running around trying to hurt cats.

[Tyler]

There was a lot going on.

[Ryan]

There was. There was.

[Miles]

Well, should we take a break?

[Tyler]

I think so.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

All right, guys, before we get in the next segment, want to let you know that we got some fun good stuff over@oubet you.com. i'm wearing the road hunting for ditch chickens patch hat with the khaki front.

[Ryan]

It's fun, it's good, and it's stuff you can get on. Oh, you betcha dot com.

[Miles]

Yeah, I. I think we really hit our stride with the patch hats.

[Ryan]

You guys like, you guys like, are you picking up what I'm putting down in terms of cooking in the warehouse of the new patch hats?

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, I'm picking it up and I'll pick it up, I'll look at it and I'll put it down.

[Jared]

And then put it on my head.

[Ryan]

Probably because it's sold. So I don't know, pick it up.

[Miles]

And put it down on my head and you guys could pick up and put down our hats on your head if you go to. Oh, you bet you dot com.

[Tyler]

I think they're picking up what we're putting down.

[Miles]

19.99 on the site.

[Ryan]

I changed that. The brown, brown bush outdoors patch caps.

[Miles]

Gone, actually.

[Ryan]

Gone. Oh, yeah, gone. Like gone girl.

[Miles]

Have you ever seen that movie?

[Ryan]

I have. Ye. Yeah. It's a good one.

[Miles]

What happens in it?

[Ryan]

Well, you guys know I'm not a movie guy. No, I've seen it, dude.

[Miles]

I just. I know you don't know the plot of.

[Tyler]

I was just going to ask him. Who's the main character?

[Ryan]

It's the train. Remember? She goes in the. It's the. On the train. You guys, I seen this movie like, four years ago.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I don't remember a train, actually. Remember the crazy boyfriend. The book that she manipulates?

[Ryan]

The book was a better idea. I didn't read the book. That's. That was a lie. But I have seen the movie. I swear on my wife's life.

[Miles]

Oh, my God.

[Jared]

She's gonna be a gone girl.

[Ryan]

I've seen it.

[Miles]

So anyway, yeah, this is the start to Gone Girl 2. So there's public evidence of him. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Know.

[Miles]

Anyways, so go to oubet you dot com, guys. Especially if you're a gone girl fan. All right, guys, Valentine's Day is this Friday.

[Ryan]

Ah, coming quick.

[Miles]

I tell you what.

[Tyler]

Same.

[Miles]

I'm actually gonna be on vacation during. So let's just say nothing's more romantic romantic than a beach in Cambodia. I can tell you guys that.

[Tyler]

You would know months till vacation, baby.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you might have to track the time. Valentine's Day is coming up. And you know who deserves a good Valentine's gift?

[Tyler]

Who?

[Ryan]

Your valentine.

[Miles]

Yeah, your valentine. Is your valentine your wife this year. It is.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

Let's go around the room and let's all say who our valentine is. Mine is my wife, Ryan.

[Ryan]

Mine is my wife and my. My child. I think he can be my valentine, too.

[Tyler]

Kenny, you can only have one.

[Ryan]

Okay, I guess not plural.

[Miles]

You like your valentine? Like, player. You. You got more than one?

[Ryan]

Well, valentine, we said it's singular. Okay, so it's my wife. My wife.

[Miles]

Tyler, who's your valentine?

[Tyler]

It is my wife. She did ask me to be her valentine, and I told her that I'd have a couple asks, so I need to weigh my options. But I did end up choosing her.

[Miles]

You did commit?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Wow.

[Tyler]

Yeah, she didn't love that.

[Miles]

I mean, basically, by committing to being your valentine every single year, is our version of renewing your vows.

[Tyler]

Pretty much.

[Ryan]

Pretty much.

[Tyler]

And way cheaper.

[Miles]

Way cheaper. Way less ridiculous. So good. Good on you for renewing your vows.

[Tyler]

Thank you. Thank you, Jared.

[Jared]

Yep. My wife.

[Miles]

Your wife.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Your wife.

[Miles]

Yeah. You just never know. You never know. So now the audience has a frame of reference of who we're talking about, and I think I can blanket, you know. The next segment is what should you be getting your wife for Valentine's Day? I'll start, if you guys don't mind.

[Tyler]

No, I don't care. Go ahead.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I love this.

[Ryan]

Getting comfortable for this one.

[Miles]

I think the best gift you can get your wife for Valentine's Day is a Roomba.

[Tyler]

Oh.

[Miles]

Because nothing turns your wife on more than a clean house, especially if she doesn't have to clean it.

[Ryan]

That's actually. I mean. Well, Tyler, you said something about cheap. Like, it's. Oh. A cheap way to renew your vows.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Roombas are. Are pretty affordable, I would say.

[Jared]

They suck.

[Ryan]

That's a good suck.

[Tyler]

Are you dropping a hint?

[Miles]

You know, there's a. There's a. It's true. I have to get one off to get one with a blow setting. Yeah. Hey, I don't get it, Jared, that. I think his. His laughing is more noticeable today with all the wheezing going on.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

We need to get you an inhaler.

[Tyler]

You need a nebulizer.

[Ryan]

I would say, if you're looking for blowers, the ego electric blowers.

[Miles]

Oh, my God. Here we go. Yeah. I mean, you eliminate an excuse, right? Like, hey, you know, great Valentine's dinner, but I got to clean the house. You're like. Like, no, you don't.

[Tyler]

Here we go. Watch me turn this on. And then I will turn you on.

[Miles]

Well, it will turn her on.

[Tyler]

Yes.

[Miles]

Which then. Will turn you on. Which then. Now everyone's on top of each other.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

Missionary. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Right?

[Miles]

It's like. Yeah. It's like she's like a Roomba. And, like, trust me, you're gonna love it. And then it starts up. She's like, oh, my God, I do love it. I'm very turned on right now. And then you're like, yeah, And I clean this square on the floor for us right here, right now.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, then you can eliminate an excuse, too. It's like, you don't. You can't use the excuse of the house is messy anymore.

[Tyler]

And honestly, there's already something cleaning up for after, so it's just.

[Miles]

Let's. That is true. Room was basically like those. Like those kids that wipe up the floor at an NBA game, you know?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Ball boy.

[Ryan]

I think a hardcore hustler.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Mop kids.

[Miles]

I mean, the room was basically. Yeah. The. The mop kids at an NBA game on Valentine's Day.

[Tyler]

And it's not awkward because it's a robot.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, would you. Do you want to. Coming in with a. One of those little broom things afterwards? You want a robot? I think I'm just a robot. Yeah. And I know what you're thinking, is it bad? Taste to get your wife a vacuum cleaner for Valentine's Day. And at first it seems like, yes, that's bad taste. But I'm not buying her a vac. I'm buying her a vacuum cleaner that she doesn't even have to use.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So you tell me.

[Ryan]

That's true. Just uses itself pretty much.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You catch my drift?

[Miles]

So, yeah, I think an alternative. Just buy a deep cleaning session from.

[Tyler]

A cleaning service locally, but make sure.

[Miles]

You do it after Valentine's Day.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

Catch my drink.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. Don't be dumb. And schedule before floor.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Because then you're gonna have to deep clean again, if you know what I'm saying.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

You have to get the hardcore hustlers over there.

[Ryan]

Oh, I know what you're saying.

[Tyler]

Don't put a towel down. We got cleaners coming.

[Ryan]

It's just got that. Yeah, cleaners are coming next week. Don't worry about it.

[Miles]

Yeah, you can just. Cleaners are common anyways. That's why. That's why I think it's the best gift.

[Tyler]

I like that. I like it. I went with a babysitter that doesn't live at your house. I think she would love that. That I.

[Ryan]

From now on, I'm going second.

[Tyler]

Why? What the.

[Ryan]

Because now I'm just completely. That. That's mine.

[Tyler]

I said I'm confused.

[Miles]

What do you mean a babysitter doesn't live at your house?

[Tyler]

Yeah, we. You got to find a babysitter so you can get the kids out of the house.

[Miles]

Gotcha. Okay, so you're. You want to drop the kids off somewhere several times.

[Ryan]

Drop the Browns off at the Super Bow cleaning ladies coming next week because.

[Tyler]

You don't want to be, like, having some Valentine's Day fun and have the ever looming threat of a knock at the door from a toddler.

[Miles]

I will have to say that may heighten the experience, though.

[Tyler]

I don't do it.

[Miles]

I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know. But I just. I imagine that it's kind of like, you know, when you're in high school and your parents can walk downstairs at any time, it makes a little. A little more heightened experience.

[Tyler]

Yeah. But you can have that experience all the time on Valentine's Day. That. That's the moment to just. It's. You don't have to.

[Miles]

Oh, you'd like to be fully engulfed in. In the sensations.

[Tyler]

Yeah, because, like, trying to.

[Ryan]

I think that's like a KY slogan.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Fully engulfed in sensations.

[Tyler]

Like trying to. Trying to get some right.

[Ryan]

When I was Taking a. One time. I forgot my phone.

[Tyler]

You just had KY available to read next to this.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's a guest bath, guest bed, guest bathroom.

[Tyler]

What if they have a.

[Miles]

He's trying to be a good host, dude.

[Jared]

Weirdo.

[Miles]

You know, they got poo pourri, they got little. Little packages of Kleenexes. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Trying to be a Four Seasons, not.

[Miles]

A Motel 6 Febreze and then some Ky. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Travel size too.

[Tyler]

In case they get a real.

[Miles]

Yeah. In case they need to go on a flight, they can bring it with them.

[Ryan]

No, no, if. If it's. If the. If the top is cracked open, then they immediately get charged 100. So I'm. My guests are just paying for future.

[Miles]

Future lubrication.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You wouldn't call it a toiletry.

[Jared]

Yeah. Grease in the wheel.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

You just got to get the kids out of the house because, like, I don't think. Ryan, you're really close, but trying to get some. When you have kids there is the worst. Dude, it's. It's like.

[Ryan]

Well, no, my kid stands in front of me while I take a. These days. Like, if I. I mean, if I don't lock the door fast enough, he's standing right there watching me because like.

[Tyler]

Once brave enough to like, he's like.

[Miles]

How are you going to read the back of a KY bottle with your child just standing right there?

[Ryan]

Yeah, because he going to see it and he's. He's going to want to. He's going to want to play with it. He just squirting it all over. And then, and then, and then, and.

[Miles]

Then he's going to slip and hit his noggin.

[Ryan]

Then I'll just be like, yeah, cleaners coming next week.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Then imagine explaining that to the ER with the stitches that he got on his forehead.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I mean, so how did this happen? And Trampoline park again.

[Miles]

Brought him back.

[Ryan]

Would you just in for a broken leg trim? Yeah, yeah. Headbutt, Head on.

[Miles]

Maybe that's actually what happened. Maybe this kid didn't even go to the trampoline park.

[Jared]

That's what I'm starting to like anyways.

[Miles]

Tyler.

[Tyler]

Oh, I was just trying to say that, like, trying to get some at your house when you have kids is like the show Silent Library, like cultural reference.

[Miles]

I don't get.

[Tyler]

You ever watched Silent Library?

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah, on mtv.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah. You got to be really quiet, but you, you just. They're not being quiet.

[Miles]

I don't remember that show.

[Ryan]

That was a good show. Yeah, I was in like the next days Real World tv. Yeah, that's funny. That's a good one.

[Tyler]

I stole Ryan.

[Miles]

Ryan. Now you. You take a shot at it.

[Jared]

I can go.

[Miles]

No, Ryan, go ahead.

[Ryan]

Well, I think you're looking at my things because remember last week you were looking at my drop downs.

[Tyler]

I didn't.

[Ryan]

I mean, I think any wife wants an overnight babysitter, so I'll take it to the next level. Not even an out of the house babysitter.

[Miles]

Go.

[Ryan]

Overnight babysitter.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

And then you guys get out of the house. Well, baby, a staycation, perhaps? Yes.

[Ryan]

Yeah, pretty much. So, you know, we're talking just a little battery recharge, couples massage, maybe a sauna session.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And then, I mean, like a TV show and relaxation.

[Miles]

That's what you're gonna do?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Happy Valentine's Day.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I mean, nothing else.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

What show are you gonna watch?

[Miles]

You guys are just gonna go to a hotel and just watch tv?

[Ryan]

Well, I mean, again, it's all about like every. I feel like every mom just wants to watch TV every once in a while being, you know, all cozy, woozy and. Yeah. So I would say read between the lines, but there are no lines to read between. Nice TV show. Maybe some room service. Maybe Edible Arrangement. Edibles Isn't THC arrangement.

[Tyler]

Oh, is she bringing the Edible Arrangement or are you.

[Ryan]

Well, no, I think. I think it's. Well, half of it'll be eaten by the time it gets by me. By the time he gets to the room. Room.

[Tyler]

That's what I was getting at before. You're in the room.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah. Night before, probably. Yeah. When it's in the. In the fridge staying chilled.

[Miles]

All right.

[Ryan]

Yeah. So. Yeah, nothing. Nothing too wild, you know, I.

[Jared]

Pretty much.

[Ryan]

Same as Tyler's doing.

[Miles]

Okay. Jared.

[Jared]

Rent. Rent a. A romantic movie to, like from the red box. Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. So you want a red box.

[Jared]

Yeah, red box. It could be a rom com. More ramen.

[Miles]

Okay. See? Well, yeah. Are you thinking like, you've got mail?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

We talking Jared loves mail.

[Ryan]

We're talking you got mail. We're talking 50 shades of gray.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Maybe the latter, you know?

[Miles]

Have you watched 50? I've never seen 50 Shades of Game, but.

[Jared]

That'S a rainbow.

[Miles]

50 shades of gray. If you. If I imagine you could watch it the correct way, it would be a comedy, so it could be a rom com.

[Ryan]

That is true. That is true.

[Miles]

You know, it's like sitcoms without the laugh track. Changes the whole thing. Add a laugh Track to 50 Shades of Gray and I think it could be A rom com as well. So what are you trying to accomplish with a rom com?

[Jared]

Just. Well, more rom than calm, but.

[Miles]

Oh, so you'd like it to be a little more ramy than commie.

[Ryan]

Yeah, a little more ramming than camming.

[Tyler]

Well, you don't want to. You don't want to have the calm come too early when you're in.

[Miles]

You don't want. You don't want to rom. Calm too early is what you are.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you got to do that way after dinner, not before dinner.

[Jared]

Yeah. Something light.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah, I think, like, something light's a great way to put it. Something to spice it up, too. You could, like, treat it like, you know, you are in high school again. You know, you, like, sit on the couch far apart, and then, like, slowly scoot next to each other, then somehow work your arm around them, you know? Well, and then be like, I'm a little chilly. You want me to grab a blanket?

[Ryan]

Well, then what you could do is because you live in an apartment, so you could ask, like, the. Someone in the apartment building to just, like, at this time, I want you to, like, walk in just to, like, kind of shock us a little, scare us a little bit, and then we can get back to, you know, just social distancing on the couch, and then they can leave, and it's all part of the act.

[Jared]

What if I pretend to kick his ass?

[Tyler]

That's what I mean.

[Miles]

I mean, there's.

[Ryan]

There's sexual.

[Miles]

Adding a guy to the. Adding another guy to your Valentine's Day rom com night, I think can go awry. It can go awry.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

It doesn't have to be a guy. I mean, someone can just let their dog into. Just jump on the couch quick or something. I don't know. Come here, Buster.

[Jared]

Buster.

[Miles]

Yeah, Maybe that's like, a good switch up, right? Like only doing hand stuff on Valentine's Day underneath the blanket, watching a rom com.

[Jared]

Oh, I got it.

[Ryan]

Playing Thumb wars. And.

[Miles]

Yeah, Popcorn trick.

[Tyler]

Y.

[Jared]

That's a good one.

[Miles]

That is a good one. She's gonna be like, why do you have this movie theater bucket at our house?

[Tyler]

I don't know. I'm just trying to give you a special Valentine's Day.

[Ryan]

Yeah, they had a Valentine's Day on Friday.

[Miles]

Jared's like, all right, guys, I gotta head out. I gotta run to the movie theater before I head home.

[Ryan]

Yeah, they had a deal on.

[Miles]

You're like.

[Tyler]

Because they. They do just sell popcorn. You can just go to the movie theater, buy. Buy some popcorn, but they sell it in bags. So you're gonna have to ask for a bucket.

[Miles]

Well, yeah, just buy a ticket if all. If all else fails. Yeah, whatever you got to do to get it done.

[Ryan]

They saw a 2024 Valentine's Day movie. Popcorn buckets left.

[Tyler]

I didn't last.

[Ryan]

I had the year on them. She said when they go, like, do.

[Miles]

You want butter on your popcorn? You look at them and just say, it's Valentine's Day.

[Tyler]

In case your plan completely fails, you should probably get a dune bucket just to be safe.

[Miles]

That is true. I always have a backup dune bucket on hand.

[Jared]

Got any of them?

[Ryan]

Dude, you guys got them dune buckets?

[Miles]

Oh, come on. You guys have to have a couple left in storage back there.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, I saw this thing online. Thought you got any dune buckets?

[Jared]

Can't find them on ebay anymore.

[Tyler]

No, I mean, I think we all.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I lost every single bid I. I had going on ebay. No, buy it. They all buy it. Now they're all jacked up in price because they knew guys like me needed one.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I. I think we all. Also, before we do any of this, we all have to get our wives a bottle of ibuprofen first. We shoot. We can't be dealing with headaches on Valentine's Day.

[Miles]

Valentine's Day.

[Tyler]

We gotta get them that before everything. Yep.

[Miles]

Lots of water.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

Yeah, maybe do like, do like 12 gifts for. On Valentine's Day. And the first 11 are just bottles of water.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. That'd be well over a gallon.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

What? What it.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Eight of the.

[Miles]

Eight.

[Ryan]

7.8 of these bottles.

[Miles]

But then as soon as you start watching the rom com or fire up the roomba, she just every five minutes, got to take a leap. You can't get anywhere.

[Tyler]

Just absolutely bit your ass.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Show yourself the foot.

[Miles]

So, yeah, I mean, I think that sounds like a pretty good Valentine's Day. The question is, is how many of us are going to buy our. Or get our wives these gifts?

[Tyler]

I. I got the babysitter already.

[Miles]

Nice.

[Jared]

Nice job, Tyler.

[Miles]

You. You got a hotel booked?

[Ryan]

No, no, I'll be. Nope. I'm going to be moving on Valentine's Day, so first thing I'll be moving in is the old mattress.

[Tyler]

And the mattress in the ky. Ryan's one and two.

[Ryan]

Well, no, I guess it's in the guest bathroom, Tyler.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. But don't you want to be a good host?

[Miles]

The movers. I like Ryan's like, all right, first run, it's going to be the bed in these Six boxes here and they're like, where do you want to put it? And you're like. Like it says right on there, guest bathroom. What do you mean?

[Jared]

I'm a good host.

[Ryan]

You want to put this king mattress in the guest bathroom?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Don't be dumb, buddy. I'm paying you by the hour.

[Jared]

Hustle up.

[Miles]

Oh, Ryan. I am going on vacation, though.

[Ryan]

Yes, you are.

[Tyler]

There's couple's massages.

[Miles]

No, it's a wedding, so I got a wedding vacation, so. Yeah, but going to Cambodia, it's going to be a nice little trip, like going home.

[Jared]

Going home?

[Ryan]

Yeah, Home to the boat you haven't.

[Tyler]

Been since your honeymoon.

[Miles]

Yeah. What's a. It's our secondary honeymoon. Cambodia. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I think I actually call it returning to the scene of the accident.

[Jared]

It's beautiful this time of year.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yes, it is.

[Miles]

So I'm gonna have to have you ship some KY over to Cambodia.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Duty. I'll duty free it.

[Miles]

But going on vacation, I feel like vacation has a lot of expectations that sometimes don't always match up with reality.

[Tyler]

I think almost all of them, in my opinion.

[Miles]

Oh, really?

[Tyler]

Yeah. Like, even like you.

[Ryan]

All of them.

[Tyler]

You'll plan like a really cool hike and you get there and then you miss half of it because you're. This isn't a dig at you. I mean this. You miss half of the cool because you're tired from hiking, you know?

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, that'll knock me out for 48 hours. I go on a hike, especially a death hike like Anne took me on my honeymoon.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean that.

[Jared]

We should put that agree as performances.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

We. We're adding that. We're adding that right here, right now. Dad doesn't win. This whole voting is rigged.

[Ryan]

Yeah. How could we forget about. Didn't even get the death block of 2022.

[Miles]

It's true.

[Tyler]

We got to get the specs from an on how far the hike was.

[Miles]

It was. It wasn't how long it was, Tyler. It was elevation change. It was like probably like. I think it was like 3, 500ft in like a quarter mile or something.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, you're living your life quarter mile at a time.

[Miles]

That's true. And I almost died.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

In that quarter mile.

[Ryan]

The saying stands.

[Miles]

No, but I think one of the things we go on vacation, your expectation is, is, oh, I'm gonna be out in the sun all day relaxing and having a good time. But in reality, you just end up worrying about if you're getting sunburned or not.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's a good point.

[Tyler]

You don't even. You expect to get a tan, but you don't because you've been applying sunscreen way too often.

[Miles]

Yeah. Like, we, as Midwesterners, you haven't seen the sun in months, and you're just gonna go and sit out in the sun in your white, pasty Midwestern skin.

[Tyler]

And you'll be peeling for the next month. You either. Either you either get viciously burnt or you don't get any sort of color on your body whatsoever because you put on too much sunscreen.

[Miles]

Yeah. And if you don't put on sunscreen, you are quite literally a ticking time bomb with like, four minutes on it ready to explode.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You guys know those. Those little machines that you fill your tires up at? You can just, like, you set it to the psi that you want it to stop and then just fills it up to that psi. They. They needed to develop a, like a sunscreen where you, like, spf? Yeah, like an spf you like.

[Miles]

Yeah, a number system.

[Ryan]

Yeah, number system. Like, I want to be like, SPF 15 burnt, and then it just cooks you to SPF 15 and then done.

[Miles]

I think that that's kind of how it works.

[Ryan]

Yeah, probably.

[Miles]

So I think the SPF is like something like how many minutes it would take you to get sunburned. So if it normally takes you 20 minutes to get sunburned, you then, like, add the number or multiply or something. The SPF we.

[Tyler]

I think I remember and we googled it and got, like, four different results. Results.

[Ryan]

Can someone tell me. I like. I understand strength wise of like, the. The higher the spf, the more strength it has, the harder it's going to be to get burned.

[Miles]

The longer it takes you to get burned, you're going to still get burnt eventually.

[Ryan]

Gotcha. Okay.

[Miles]

That's why you need to reapply, because it runs out after a certain.

[Tyler]

And there's like a. An equation to figure out based off your skin tone and your susceptibility of the sun on how effective each SPF is for you, the individual. So there's no, like, base. Like, everyone, like you and me, we have different skin tones. So we both put on SPF 15. It's going to be a different length for both of us.

[Miles]

Correct. For e sake, let's just multiply it. Whoa. Right? So if you get burnt from the sun in one minute, like, if you're outside for one minute and you get sunburned and you put on SPF 15, minute 16, you're out there you're going to start getting burnt again? Something like that, yeah.

[Ryan]

It's kind of like D equals rt. It's more so like S equals pf.

[Miles]

Yeah, sure, like that. Sun equals protection, huh? Yeah. Like the whole time you're just sitting there. Like, how long do I have until my skin turns boiling lava hot?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And I have to slather on aloe vera later. And I'm going to go from burning hot to it's way too cold.

[Tyler]

I'd love to take a nap poolside right now, but if I fall asleep I could wake up looking like a lobster.

[Miles]

That's true. Yeah, you can't, you can't even take a nap by the pool unless you're in full shade.

[Ryan]

We had all the 60 year old dads, they have all those spots reserved, correct?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

By the time you're even 5am they.

[Miles]

Got towels on every.

[Ryan]

He's always the dad. Yeah, he's always got.

[Miles]

He's got a shirt draped over one, he's got a bag on the other.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. He's got his undies on the other one.

[Miles]

Yeah. Next thing you know you're just in full sun all day long. Just paranoid because no one's gonna move.

[Ryan]

A pair of undies off a chair.

[Miles]

And now that I'm over 30 years old, it's like I have so much built up scar tissue from being sunburned on previous vacations that now it's like all I can think about. When you're 18, 19, 20, you don't give a it.

[Tyler]

I'll burn.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. But all it takes is one bad time where you get sunburnt on day one and it ruins your whole trip that you're like, I'm never doing that again.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, that's a great point.

[Jared]

You get sunburnt through your crocs. It's the worst.

[Tyler]

Have you ever burned at the top of your feet? That actually sucks ass.

[Ryan]

Hurts really bad.

[Miles]

Burning the top of your feet sucks. Or like if you go golfing and you forget about the. Your calves.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's another bad one.

[Miles]

Then you just have to like lay on your side in bed all night because your calves are burnt.

[Tyler]

Are you burnt? The V on your chest and then it just, you get like an itchy sunburn of just a V. Yep.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's the worst are bad.

[Tyler]

I always expect on vacation to get tons.

[Miles]

Well, hold on, I got a question for you guys. Are you guys lotion or are you guys lotion or spray sunscreen? Guys?

[Ryan]

I'm a spray till I Die type of a spray.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I'm. I've never have it so it's whatever. The other people that remember to bring sunscreen on.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

That guy, I always forget get well.

[Miles]

So like there's this whole thing where it's like I. I just spray the spray stuff on me and I go, me too. But apparently people are like, it doesn't work unless you rub it in. But then it defeats the whole purpose of doing the spray sunscreen. Correct.

[Ryan]

Because you're doing spray so you don't get your hands all la. Lathered up.

[Miles]

Correct.

[Jared]

Yeah. It's like when you put deodorant on, you rub it.

[Miles]

Yeah. I don't. Right.

[Jared]

Like spray deodorant.

[Miles]

Yeah. You talking about tag body spray by Rob Deer Deck.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Most bod.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I don't know. I. That part's weird to me and I also feel like guys are traditionally not lotion guys.

[Tyler]

No.

[Miles]

How do you guys like what?

[Ryan]

Cuz he. Yeah.

[Miles]

I. I hate the feeling of lotion on my hands.

[Tyler]

So the one thing I. I really it.

[Miles]

It like I can't think about anything else. If I have sunscreen on my hands, I have to go wash my hands with something.

[Ryan]

Say same, same.

[Miles]

I don't know. I don't know if that's a you. If that's a me problem or guys in general. Like my dad. I swear to God, he doesn't even know what lotion is. He. I could count on one hand how much lotion he's had in his entire life. And he's like 65 years old and it's zero. He's never spent money on lotion. He's never looked at lotion. He's never felt lotion. He doesn't even know what lotion feels like. And I feel like all old guys eyes.

[Tyler]

I bet he would hate it.

[Miles]

I bet he would hate it too.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I don't like it on my hands either. Like I'll put it on the back of my hands and then wash my hands like the palms off because I don't like how my palms.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Any body parts you guys do like it on.

[Miles]

Actually?

[Tyler]

Depends.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Who's applying it?

[Ryan]

You boomers?

[Tyler]

Yes.

[Miles]

Boomers hate lotion so much that they would just grip and rip raw. No. No. Jurgens on the assist for the boomers. I mean probably Jergens didn't even exist back then, so they wouldn't even have.

[Tyler]

Known they're giving the old hawk to it of the palm.

[Miles]

I mean we're talking like sandpaper. There's gotta be boomers of nickname scabs out there.

[Tyler]

Oh, no. Once the scabs break, you're good.

[Jared]

It's true. Develop a callus.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean.

[Miles]

Anyways, that's all I have to say about lotion.

[Tyler]

I always feel like on vacation I'm gonna get so much sleep and so much rest, but really, I drink four out of the five nights and I'm just hungover every time.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's like you. You're like, oh, vacation. I'm gonna get up early. I'll maybe, like, do some sort of workout. Yeah. I'll do some physical activity because it's beautiful out. I'll go outside and do something. Then I'll go and make myself some coffee and some a hearty breakfast and just start the day off right. Right. And then you get drunk the night before and you wake up at 10:30.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Or for me, like, when I get drunk, I wake up earlier for some reason and I just wake up hung over and can't go back to sleep.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

So then I do all those things, but I hate them because I'm hungover as and I'm drinking coffee because it's the only thing keeping me alive rather than enjoying it.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You're in Mexico. You can get some zannies.

[Tyler]

Well, in the shitty. Yeah. The shittiest part of it is, like.

[Ryan]

Now at our age, it's a college buddy thing. I. And college buddies and the rap songs is where they call them Zannies.

[Miles]

Grandma's.

[Ryan]

Grandma's Annie.

[Miles]

Did your college buddies love the super bowl halftime show then?

[Ryan]

Loved it.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Loved it.

[Tyler]

Like, the shittiest part of it now, like, at our age, I'll get a minor hangover from five to ten beers.

[Miles]

Yeah, dude, four beers, right?

[Ryan]

Half a beer.

[Tyler]

So it's like you can't even.

[Ryan]

I've drank 42 days now.

[Tyler]

That's true. True. I'm excited to see you get up for the first time on day 76.

[Ryan]

30 rack dead.

[Miles]

30. 30 rack of shooters. Yeah.

[Jared]

You should have your first beer on the pod, Ryan.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

I mean, I do think it is worth it, though, because I'd rather be hung over on a beach than hung over in my living room. So it is that. That is kind of nice.

[Ryan]

Unless they're screaming kids at the pool.

[Miles]

Yeah, but there's guilt, right? There's, like, if I'm hungover at home, I got no guilt about the fact I'm laying in my bed at home with all of the shades drawn. If I'M on vacation and I'm laying in bed with the shades drawn. I'm. This is a waste. I wasted this.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Anxiety.

[Miles]

There's a hangxiety of being hung over on vacation.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I just. I'll. I'll suffer my anxiety on the beach with a tummy ache rather than at home with a tummy ache.

[Jared]

Plus, that ocean breeze will be nice.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Stick my head in the ocean. Do that. Salt in my nose. Clear everything up.

[Ryan]

All your problems can be fixed in Mexico. I think they got. They got uppers at the farm. They got uppers and downers. Whatever. Whatever the opposite of what you're feeling.

[Miles]

Yeah, Ciders.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You're feeling pissed off. You don't feel happy.

[Miles]

I didn't know you were such a fan of the pharmaceutical industry in Mexico.

[Ryan]

It's. It is actually amazing. You can just get anabolic steroids over the counter. I mean, and like, epic. You could get anything over the counter there. It's pretty wild.

[Jared]

The counter's open.

[Miles]

So. So what about you, Ryan?

[Ryan]

Expectation versus reality on vacation for me is thinking that I'm going to replace my phone with a book most of the time. And like, and this is anywhere I travel, but mainly on vacation, like, you know, I'll pack like two books. It's like, I mean, I haven't read two books in five years. So, like, what bone in my body thinks I'm going to knock two books out in one vacation? And it's like, okay, if people know you're on vacation, they probably won't, like, call you or text you or like, bug you with anything. So it's like, all right, I can. Yeah, put my phone down. I don't have any. Like, I don't have anything that I need to get to right now. So I'm going to sit by the pool and read some books. And then you got Jimmy and Johnny, they're doing cannonballs in the pool. And you got. You got what's his face walking the beach trying to sell me Oakley's. Tell me they're real. And I just know they're not.

[Tyler]

There's got to be one honest Oakley salesman out there that just doesn't get why nobody wants his Oakley's for cheap.

[Ryan]

Yeah, probably. I mean, there probably is, but then.

[Miles]

It like, well, to pay by the time that my mother has no ability to read a situation when someone's reading, like, anytime I. I have been ever brought a book to a pool in my whole life. Life is all like, if I'm gonna do it, I put headphones in. And it's like she waits for me to put the headphone in, to lean back and start page one, and she starts talking to me. So then it's a one of these. Then you're trying to really, really a lot to be nice. Like, I know I did go to a public place with my family. Like, if I'm gonna redo it in private right. When no one else is around. But it's like, the visual cues. Not even that. I just have a book in my. It's not. The book is open, my eyes are down. And I would have a headphone in. Yeah, I don't. It's.

[Ryan]

And you only take your headphone out about an inch.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So you just, like, pop it out an inch. Meaning, like, hey, I'm trying to put this back in asap.

[Jared]

I slept well last night.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's gotta be.

[Miles]

It is sunny out. Yeah. Not a cloud in the sky.

[Tyler]

I went to a Vikings game with my grandpa this. This fall, and he did the same shit. I'm in the passenger seat and he didn't talk to me unless I had the book open. I'm just sitting here, we're not speaking, driving down the interstate. I opened the book, I'm a sentence in. He's like, wow, how do you think we're gonna do today? Well, I think we're gonna be doing pretty good. And then I opened the book back up slowly start reading again. I hope Sam Darnold's on his game. Grandpa now.

[Miles]

Yeah. Reading a book in the front seat on a road trip. Unless it's eight hours. Yeah, like, honestly, read the car. Read the car. Instead of the three hour drive with your grandpa. And you're gonna read a book.

[Tyler]

So he didn't say a word to me for an hour.

[Ryan]

You felt it out.

[Miles]

You were like, you should. Everyone knows if you're gonna read a book, it's in the first hour of the trip. Trip. This is the second hour. You start getting squirrely. You want to chat about stuff.

[Tyler]

I should have brought a headphone so I could completely ignore him.

[Jared]

It's like.

[Miles]

It's like a wired headphone that's just not plugged into anything.

[Jared]

You would have known.

[Miles]

You could have been twirling the end of the headphones around. He wouldn't have known you weren't listening to anything. No, I get it, Tyler. I get it. It's. That's my life. So, Jared, what about you?

[Jared]

When you get, like, all inclusive, like, food at a resort, you think all my meals will be covered? It'd just be great. And then like by the end of it, you're just so tired of all the dog food.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Or like chicken tenders.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Or you're gonna, you plan on like really taking in like the, the, the cuisine.

[Miles]

Local cuisine.

[Ryan]

Yeah, local cuisine. And you're kind of just like other cheeseburger. And I do tater tots this time. Fries Burnt out right now.

[Miles]

Yeah. By the time you leave an all inclusive resort, you are licking your chops at some airport food.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. Shake Shack or something.

[Jared]

Just lowest common denomier food and just low quality.

[Miles]

You just.

[Jared]

Yeah. A lot of decent.

[Miles]

Just got a tummy ache by day two, right.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's exactly it. You go through the entire menu.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Oakley salesman comes up and. And you're like, I'll buy all those if you just bring me to your house and cook me in. We need to leave now though, cuz it is noon and I'm getting hungry.

[Miles]

Please kidnap me.

[Ryan]

Just need some local.

[Miles]

It's like I can't leave unless I sell this. I will buy all of them.

[Jared]

100 bucks.

[Ryan]

I'll buy all them. And then you can just keep them on your deal and resell them again tomorrow.

[Miles]

Correct. Yeah.

[Ryan]

It'S like, it's like buy. It's like buy two, get eight free. Like I'll just pay for the other eight.

[Miles]

Next time you're at all inclusive, just go up to the staff, be like, so what are you guys eating? Because I know you're not eating that food. So what do you guys, you guys like pack a lunch?

[Tyler]

I've never been to an all inclusive resort. Is it really that bad?

[Miles]

It's.

[Ryan]

It's just American. American food.

[Miles]

But yeah, it's just the lowest quality cafeteria food.

[Tyler]

So it's better or worse than continental breakfast.

[Jared]

I would say it'd be like at msu, I'm the cafeteria.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Jared]

Like that.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

But even some of the things are worse.

[Jared]

It's similar.

[Miles]

It's similar.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It's just cafeteria food, which is fine for the first two days. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Then after a while when you've. You're not in college and you eat like a normal person, you're like, wow, my body doesn't like this very much.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I'd like a real egg instead of eggs that come from a bag.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Like, if I get a real egg, I'm going to drink the water. I'll do it.

[Miles]

Honestly, sometimes you just, at the end of the trip, just drink the water to clear yourself out of all the food. Yes.

[Ryan]

Yeah. They'll detox. Detoxing from the ph and detox stomach.

[Miles]

They got free Metamucil down in Mexico.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It probably gets a better counter pharmacia.

[Jared]

Yeah, There you go.

[Miles]

Always comes back to that. You got. I think you would like. Of anyone here. I feel like Tyler's gonna like the all inclusive food the most.

[Tyler]

That's why I asked continental breakfast. Cuz I love continental breakfast.

[Miles]

And most of those resorts let you do your own laundry. Laundry for you.

[Tyler]

Big perk. You only have to bring two outfits.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You can just. You don't even need a carry on.

[Tyler]

Just a lap bag.

[Ryan]

Free. You just. Yeah, you just need a backpack.

[Tyler]

Nice outfit. Casual outfit.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

This is true. Swim trunks and that's.

[Tyler]

Swim trunks can double as my casual outfit.

[Miles]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, you just use the swim trunks as your casual outfit.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Plaid shorts then whatever else I'm wearing on the plaid plane.

[Miles]

That.

[Tyler]

That'll make it.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And like if you have some tide pods at the end of it, you just eat those instead of.

[Miles]

It's gonna give you more nutritional food. Blueberry.

[Ryan]

Ocean breeze. I. I could smell it for the first five days now I can taste it.

[Jared]

Got some of my clothes, but that's fine.

[Miles]

Just getting ahead of it.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Oh, all right. Well. Is that it, guys?

[Jared]

I got one fun fact.

[Miles]

Oh yeah. Fun facts.

[Jared]

XOXO is a popular signature this time of year. The origins of this signature, however, stem from the Middle Ages. The Washington Post reported that during those times. Okay, sorry, let me start over. I copy and pasted this thing.

[Miles]

He's got foggy brain. Yeah. Sickness.

[Jared]

Take two. XOXO is a popular signature this time of year. The origins of the signature, however, stem from the Middle Ages. The Washington Post reported that during those times, the X symbolized the Christian cross and letters ended with the sign of the cross and a kiss to symbolize an oath. As the gesture became more popular in literature, letters and papers, paperwork, it came to mean something had been sealed with a kiss.

[Miles]

So you. You'd sign an X at the end, which would signify, I am sealing this letter with a kiss.

[Jared]

Sealed with a kiss.

[Tyler]

So the what? The X is a Christian cross.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And the O is a kiss. And so then we change the cross to ho. Hugs in.

[Miles]

I always thought X's were kisses and O's were hugs.

[Tyler]

I've always thought the opposite because you go hugs and kisses instead of kisses and hugs. So I always just assumed that the first one correlated to hugs.

[Miles]

Yeah, I don't know what to mean? I've never thought about it.

[Ryan]

I always just put my move on the tic tac toe board and send it back. So it says xo. You just, like, draw a tic tac toe board like. Like around it and then put your moving mail.

[Tyler]

Is it xoxo?

[Ryan]

Yeah, Like. Like.

[Miles]

Yeah, just right back. Like you can't go more than once in one turn. Dude, try again. Again.

[Tyler]

I'm. Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

I'm O, your ex. Can you explain that middle beefy part that I kind of glazed over when you were reading it?

[Jared]

The origins of the signature hour stem from the middle ages. During those times, the X symbolized the Christian cross, and letters ended with the sign of the cross and the kiss to symbolize an oath, both. As the gesture became more popular in literature, letters, and paperwork, it came to mean something had been sealed with a kiss.

[Miles]

Got it. So the X is a kiss, the cross is a kiss.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Okay, then the O is an oath.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

That's what it started.

[Miles]

Oh, so it'd be XO is like.

[Tyler]

A kiss and an oath.

[Miles]

I sealed this with the oath of my kiss. Something like. Like that.

[Tyler]

I think I'm more confused.

[Ryan]

No further questions.

[Miles]

So next time, right? Exo, it's kisses and oaths. Nice. All right, guys, well, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the you Bet your radio podcast. Remember, next week, voting is open. It will be open for a week. Then we'll shut it down and have the PCAs. So if you want to vote, go sign up on patreon.com you bet your radio. May your kisses be sealed with an oath, and may your Valentine's Day be eventful. Cheers, Ryan. Oh, you betcha. Yeah. Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Miles lost 60 pounds came back down don't even look look like my friend and I don't know where you're at I don't know where you going it got dark and went black well, giddy up time on another pizza than a dog and why it's all The K girlfriend's apartment 90s man smoke SPF is that your back Pack of cigarettes in a locked bathroom sun is high the water blue blue dress on sneakers on world giddy up, baby the Tyler burning mother pizza chair sicker than a dog ryan saw the Ky's girlfriend's apartment it's the 90s man smoked SPFs is that your parents Pack of cigarettes in a locked bathroom the sun is high the water blue blue dress on and your speakers on well, giddy up, baby time to burn another pizza ky's girlfriend's Apartment. It's honorable mention. That the patron choice Award, baby.

[Miles]

That's.

[Unnamed Speaker]

We ran it at the Patron choice awards and turned all the 90s. The 90s come back around, baby. But don't bring the $100 fee or the $20 fee or the $12 fee or the $20 fee.

[Miles]

Welcome back to the second episode ever of. Of Road Trippers.

[Tyler]

There we go. I love Road Trippers.

[Miles]

We are road tripping. Currently. Herky Jerky Ryan is at the wheel.

[Ryan]

No, no issues yet.

[Miles]

We got a nice mic rig up set for him today. Last time we didn't have them. Didn't have a mic. But today we got the old. What is that, what's this called?

[Tyler]

The.

[Miles]

The. What's this thing called Visor.

[Tyler]

The visor.

[Miles]

Yeah, the. The visor motor mic. So welcome to the episode this time, Ryan.

[Ryan]

Thanks for having me. Appreciate it.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we're gonna need you to lean up to that.

[Ryan]

Ideally the visor would be on. On the. The my window side because that's where the sun's at.

[Tyler]

But we could maybe do a mid pot adjustment later.

[Miles]

We'll figure that out at a different date.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

Guys, we are road tripping. Where are we road tripping to?

[Tyler]

Tyler, Hinckley, Minnesota. We're going to Grand Casino. Casino.

[Miles]

Going to Gran Casino. We are going to bet the farm. And by farm, I mean all of the money in the. What do you call it? Shake of the day.

[Tyler]

$206.

[Miles]

$206. Did we do we know what color we're putting it on yet?

[Jared]

Sounds like black.

[Miles]

Okay. We're going.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

Putting all 206 bucks on black.

[Jared]

So it ride.

[Tyler]

So the people said black. But one. There was one patron who had said something that I. I think we should do.

[Ryan]

Decent point too.

[Tyler]

Decent point. We put 180 of it on black and we have just 20 bucks on green. Just in case.

[Ryan]

26 bucks.

[Miles]

I got one. I do love, love hedging our downside, as they would say in the financials community. But guys, are we all in or are we all out?

[Ryan]

I'm all in.

[Tyler]

I mean, I think this makes us more in because think about if it.

[Miles]

Hits green, but think of how dumb we're gonna feel when it hits black and only and we lose 26 bucks out of it.

[Ryan]

God, we could have, you know, we could have won more.

[Miles]

Exactly. So I think we stick riding on black.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

The.

[Ryan]

I mean, obviously the odds of green is very, very slim. I'm willing to. I'm willing to gamble if it hits.

[Tyler]

Green and we've left it blank. I don't know if I'll sleep tonight.

[Miles]

What?

[Ryan]

Tyler, just throw some personal money.

[Miles]

You don't sleep now anyway. So what's.

[Tyler]

You're right.

[Ryan]

Throw some personal money on green.

[Miles]

So, guys, road trippers. We're back. We'll see if we can get a. It wouldn't be an interstate interview this time. It would be more of a highway interview. Considering we're riding the highway, not the interior state. But only if the opportunity presents itself.

[Tyler]

A highway. Hey there.

[Miles]

Yeah. A highway. Hello.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

We. I haven't seen any water towers. I think we got one coming up. We could maybe review it when we get there.

[Tyler]

You guys, we are in my neck of the woods.

[Ryan]

I know. That's why we gotta get.

[Tyler]

We just. We just drove past my hometown. Next water tower is perm.

[Miles]

Tyler. That's what's going on around the country. Country. Here's what's happening in your neck of the woods.

[Tyler]

In our neck of the woods. We are encroaching on per. Minnesota. The stinkiest town in the state.

[Miles]

And why is it so stinky, Tyler?

[Tyler]

If the wind comes from the north, it smells like oil and grease from the chip plant. If the wind comes from the west, it smells like dog food from the dog food plant.

[Miles]

Better than dog shit.

[Ryan]

Barrel of fun. Is it?

[Tyler]

Yep. It's different now. I don't know the new name. I can't remember. Remember Kis?

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

They might own it. I don't know.

[Ryan]

And then it's Tuffy's dog food.

[Miles]

Isn't it Aunt Vicky's? I think it's Ms. Vicky.

[Tyler]

It is Ms. Vicky.

[Ryan]

She's probably a miss, though.

[Tyler]

Yeah. If the wind comes from the south, it smells like human. Because of their above ground lagoons. The only time the town smells half decent when it comes from the east.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Which is my hometown.

[Miles]

Pray for an east wind today. Yes, we're praying for east winds. Yeah.

[Ryan]

That's when the foot hits.

[Miles]

Which isn't great though for gas mileage today because we're heading east. So it's, you know, a horse a piece. It's like. I think.

[Ryan]

Is that the Right in the gambling community. That's what they'd say.

[Tyler]

Yep. Yep.

[Miles]

The horse apiece. Ooh. New intersection at that part of the highway there.

[Tyler]

Finally got the army worms.

[Miles]

It's actually good because that intersection was just a breeding ground for someone to get T bone and die. So.

[Tyler]

Yeah. That. The trees right there. My grandpa Al used to own.

[Miles]

Wait right here.

[Tyler]

To the left.

[Miles]

To the left.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

He just owned the trees.

[Tyler]

Yep. Just that, that land.

[Miles]

Right. Like mineral rights to land. He just has the tree rights to that plot of land.

[Tyler]

They call it logging rights.

[Miles]

Yeah. Wait, actually he had logging rights.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah. And he owned the land.

[Miles]

Oh, okay.

[Jared]

It's tree rights. You always got three rights.

[Tyler]

He sold it though. No longer.

[Miles]

Yeah, he had about two tree rights.

[Tyler]

Yep. Two tree rights.

[Ryan]

He doesn't own it anymore.

[Tyler]

No. He sold her.

[Jared]

Isn't there like it was.

[Ryan]

It was a her.

[Tyler]

Yeah. The land was. Yep. Mother Nature.

[Ryan]

Okay. All right. True. Yeah.

[Miles]

Point Miles.

[Jared]

Isn't there like a bicycle bridge that you hate on this road?

[Tyler]

We passed it already.

[Miles]

Yeah, we did pass it. We missed it. It's the most elaborate bridge. Bridge. My, my take was is that someone died on a bike. And so the state said we can't have that on our head anymore. And so they built what it's got to be a hundred yard long bridge.

[Tyler]

It's a very long bridge. And it is because it's a part of the Heartland Trail, which goes. Yeah.

[Ryan]

State funded.

[Tyler]

Yep. State funded. Part of the Heartland Trail. So people can bike all over the northland in Minnesota.

[Jared]

That's kind of cool.

[Ryan]

Yeah. We got to take care of those.

[Tyler]

But the bridge is unnecessarily large and elaborate.

[Miles]

Yeah. And plus I, I, Yeah, it just is such unneeded bridge.

[Tyler]

Way more bridge for the bike.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I don't think. I just don't think you've biked over a good bridge before.

[Tyler]

You're right. I haven't biked over that yet.

[Miles]

Here's our first billboard question of the day. It says, is Sunday the Sabbath day? Go to Sabbath Truth.com free plug jerk.

[Ryan]

Can you pull that up real quick?

[Miles]

I'm going to be honest. Why do they have to ask that question? Isn't it pretty, like renowned that Sunday is the Sabbath?

[Tyler]

It could be the Latter Day Saints that do Saturday or whatever. They're just trying to trick you into looking it up.

[Miles]

Is there a lot of Latter Day Saint community here they're trying to convert here in per Minnesota?

[Tyler]

I don't think so, but maybe if there's a building billboard.

[Ryan]

I haven't heard many people arguing about Sunday. The Sabbath.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

It's just guys.

[Miles]

Hot take. Sunday is the Sabbath. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan]

You can come.

[Miles]

I think Sunday's been the Sabbath for 2000 years. I don't know.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Ad.

[Miles]

It's like. Yeah, it'd be like taking out a billboard ad to be like, country's bird is a bald eagle. Go. I'll say it right here. Right now.

[Tyler]

Yeah. 1-800-US-FOR TRUTH.

[Miles]

Yeah. Insanity. It's amazing what people will buy billboards for these days. We're coming up on Perm's water tower here soon, right, Tyler?

[Tyler]

Yeah, If I remember correctly, it's actually an elaborate one. It's a big black one.

[Miles]

Oh, there it is. Yes. I'm seeing it in the distance. Water tower. It says what I would call a bulb. A bald water tower for sure. It's skinny at the bottom, balloons at the end. And it's black with a white stripe down the middle. We got to get an ocular pat down of it here when we get.

[Tyler]

Closer, but I think when we get closer, it's going to be a faded yellow stripe.

[Miles]

Is it perm?

[Tyler]

High school colors. Black and yellow. Perm, which they played the song black and yellow as they ran onto the field every single game.

[Ryan]

Yeah. That song's timeless though.

[Tyler]

It's true. Those colors aren't going anywhere.

[Ryan]

Khalifa, He's Minot. Yeah. Born.

[Miles]

This is a two water tower town. Hey, there's also one that's not as bulby. It's more of a. You remember those suckers that kind of were tart?

[Tyler]

Those like shitty powder ones and then.

[Miles]

They would be like flat on the sides but rounded on the top. That's what their second water tower looks like.

[Ryan]

Multiple light colored.

[Miles]

That one looks like it. One that you'd see in Fargo over there to the left. Wow. Two water tower towns.

[Tyler]

I believe that other one, I think that's the original water tower.

[Miles]

I mean, that's a country song right there. I come from a two, two town, two water tower town. And it's about how he wishes that he grew up in a small town because the two water tower town is just too big of a city for him. Guys, that was a fun little snippet from our Patreon episode last week. You can find all of our patreon [e-mail] you betcha. Radio.