Why Husbands Shouldn’t Text Their Wives🎙 #345

Summary

You Betcha Radio – Episode #345: "Why Husbands Shouldn’t Text Their Wives🎙"

Date: September 24, 2025
Hosts: Myles (You Betcha Guy), Ryan, Tyler, Jared
Episode Theme:
A thoroughly “Midwest” discussion mixing nostalgia, dad/working-man culture, family stories, and tongue-in-cheek relationship advice. The main topic is the comedic theory that husbands shouldn’t text their wives during the day, but the episode is also rich in blue-collar humor, lawn and home maintenance woes, group DIY triumphs, and classic Midwestern banter.

---

Episode Overview

This episode of You Betcha Radio centers on the comedic premise that husbands should avoid texting their wives during the workday to preserve meaningful conversation and romantic tension at home. The crew also covers recent mishaps and victories with lawn care, concrete, home maintenance, and sports parenting, interspersed with their signature humor and relatable Midwest stories.

---

Key Discussion Points

1. Scooters, Lawnmowers, and the Definition of “Getting Hurt”

[00:00–06:30]

• The show opens with the guys ribbing Ryan for being out of shape from running up the stairs after a scooter ride. The group debates what constitutes truly "getting hurt" versus minor injuries, referencing scooter accidents and NFL blue tent protocols.

• Memorable Quote:
  "If you got your wrist brace on again, that's hurt. If it's just a Razor scooter to the shin, that's just pain." – Jared [01:10]

• Ryan shares a saga about losing a wheel on his new gas mower, taking four hours to mow his lawn, and the troubles with both old and new equipment. They joke about downgrading to a scythe or going “all natural” by planting wildflowers.

• Memorable Quote:
  "I've been seeing this guy who mows his lawn with a scythe on TikTok. Satisfying as hell." – Tyler [04:15]
  "You could be a scyther." – Jared [04:20]

---

2. Family Concrete Pour – Midwest Nostalgia

[06:33–13:35]

• Jared "comes out of concrete retirement" to help pour a patio, describing how his family became a "well-oiled Amish concrete crew" without needing direction, appreciating how everyone knew their roles.
• The guys joke about putting “ball prints” in the concrete, sparking a series of ball-related gags.
• Memorable Quote:
  "If we wanted to get back into concrete, we would be the most well-oiled crew in the tri-state. We were humming." – Jared [07:47]
  "The real headline is that the mud showed up on time." – Tyler [08:52]

---

3. PrizePicks Segment / Betting Banter

[13:35–16:59]

• The hosts run through their weekly PrizePicks NFL fantasy picks, peppered with the usual jabs about betting against certain quarterbacks and sharing first-win stories.
• Memorable Quotes:
  "He [Baker Mayfield] popped my win cherry." – Jared [14:46]
  "We're just trying to get somebody else's win cherry popped with this lineup." – Tyler [14:52]

---

4. DIY, HVAC Updates, and Midwestern Home Wisdom

[17:02–21:32]

• More talk about office and home maintenance, specifically changing air filters and the associated costs, with the usual grumbling about increasing “recommended intervals.”
• The guys discuss noticing "little things" on job sites that separate good work from sloppy, like how easily a roof tears off or well-finished window wells.

---

5. Why Husbands Shouldn’t Text Their Wives

[22:06–28:20] – MAIN THEME

• Sparked by Jared slicing his finger with a pocket knife and NOT texting his wife about it, the group riffs on the idea that if men share too much by text, there's “nothing left to talk about when you get home.”

• Memorable Quotes:
  "Guys, never text your wife back during the day because you won't have anything to talk about at home later!" – Jared [23:10]
  "Distance makes the heart grow fonder…it’s romantic, right?" – Tyler [23:29]

• Jokey escalation to “playing hard to get” and turning homecomings into flirtatious roleplay scenarios.

• The group runs through ridiculous auto-texting strategies, “opt-out” jokes, and the pitfalls of treating wife-text threads like a group chat.

---

6. Face-to-Face vs. Digital Communication

[28:20–32:34]

• Discussion on the lost art of face-to-face conversation and how over-texting erodes communication skills.
• The baseball parent trope: when (and if) to confront your kid’s coach about playing time—balancing self-awareness as a parent with the classic Midwest “don’t want to rock the boat” ethos.

---

7. Referees, Coaches, and Theatrical Sports Officiating

[32:35–46:17]

• The crew fantasizes about being a “Savannah Bananas-style” ref squad: making high school basketball about the refs, not the game, with absurd penalties, crowd voting, and “coach-throwing” antics.

• They lampoon the shortage of referees and joke about taking bribes, using train whistles, and turning every game into a show.

• Memorable Quotes:
  "I'm not just calling block on Number Four. I'm theatrics. We're gonna make it about us." – Jared [36:38]
  "At the end of the day, it's really just about us." – Jared [50:35]

---

8. Hypothetical: “How Long Could You Go Without Showering for $50k a Day?”

[51:21–61:12]

• From Reddit user FudgeNipples1, the group debates how long they could live without showering for a huge (tax-free) daily payout.
• Hilarious consideration of “no loopholes”, stank tolerance, and the social sacrifices required.
• Consensus: for $18M+ a year, they’d all do it.
• Memorable Quotes:
  "I'm comfortable being uncomfortable, which means I'm comfortable." – Jared [52:22]
  "Some weird guy with a fetish told me to do this…but for $50k a day, it's fine." – Tyler [58:02]

---

9. Emergency Goalie Scenario & Book Smell Fun Fact

[62:42–70:07]

• Quick-fire hypotheticals: how many penalty shots would they save as an NHL emergency goalie? (Almost none).
• A random “fun fact” segment on why old books smell like vanilla or almonds, the paper chemistry behind it, and “book sniffer” pros.

---

10. Vacation Planning & Midwest Priorities

[71:24–77:13]

• The guys discuss ideal vacation vibes: few planned activities, plenty of golf, “orange vod juice” (vodka + OJ), and just enough structure to be comfortable.

---

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• "I wish I could go back to my first win... He popped my win cherry." – Jared [14:46]
• "Guys, never text your wife back during the day because you won't have anything to talk about at home later!" – Jared [23:10]
• "Distance makes the heart grow fonder... it’s romantic, right?" – Tyler [23:29]
• "I just reply with STOP in all caps. And I just don’t get any more after that." – Ryan [25:45]
• "[My wife] treats it like a notes app for herself." – Jared [27:56]
• "If you get your wrist brace on again, that's hurt. If it’s just a Razor scooter to the shin, that's just pain." – Jared [01:10]
• "At the end of the day, it's really just about us." – Jared [50:35]

---

Tone, Style & Takeaways

• Tone: Sarcastic, self-deprecating, Midwest-affable, male bonding, highly conversational with layered jokes, callback gags, and storytelling.
• Style: Loose, full of inside jokes, extended riffs, and a rhythm resembling a friendly happy-hour hangout.
• Takeaways:
  • The heart of Midwest culture is work ethic, family, tradition, and making life fun through humor—especially in the face of everyday frustrations.
  • Don’t overcommunicate during the day—leave some stories for home, and keep the spark alive!
  • Self-awareness as a parent, spouse, or coworker is golden.
  • There’s always a joke to be found in an injury, a home repair, or a concrete pour.

---

Structured Navigation

• [00:00–06:30] – Scooter mishaps, lawnmower disaster, growing “Scyther” TikTok culture.
• [06:33–13:35] – Concrete pouring nostalgia, family teamwork, classic job-site humor.
• [13:35–16:59] – Fantasy football, PrizePicks, first-win memories.
• [17:02–21:32] – Office HVAC pains, home repair economics.
• [22:06–28:20] – The Art of Not Texting Your Wife (Main Theme).
• [28:20–32:34] – Face-to-face vs. texting, youth baseball, and sports parents.
• [32:35–46:17] – Referee/theatrics fantasy, high school sports showmanship.
• [51:21–61:12] – How long could you go without showering? (Reddit hypothetical).
• [62:42–70:07] – NHL goalie scenario, book-smell chemistry, odd fact corner.
• [71:24–77:13] – Vacation planning, “orange vod juice,” Midwest travel priorities.

---

For fans of Midwest life, practical comedy, and the art of turning every little frustration into a running joke, this episode is pure “you betcha.”

Transcript

[Jared]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the you betcha radio podcast. Hey, the boys are here. The boys are full strength and winded. Yeah, you are a little winded. Ran up the stairs.

[Ryan]

A lot of stairs up the stairs. The first half of the windedness came from the scooter. I was going about 15, 16 miles an hour, probably faster than that. I can probably run 15, 60 miles an hour.

[Tyler]

So between the scooter, 30, between the scooter and you just basically jumping up the stairs, how many times do you think your feet touch the ground?

[Ryan]

6.

[Tyler]

He's like, that's like a 150 yard traverse.

[Jared]

20 stairs.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it was one push on the scooter and like, you know, triple jump each step five times. Fifteen steps. Checks out.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I don't want to be this guy, but I think one of these days you're gonna get hurt on that scooter.

[Tyler]

Remember the hoverboard?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Why? Yeah, I think getting hurt and wiping out, they're two different things.

[Miles]

What's your definition?

[Ryan]

They don't go hand in hand.

[Miles]

What would be like, I got hurt. You know what I mean?

[Ryan]

I. I mean, I think, I think a tail whip to the ankle is getting hurt.

[Jared]

Okay, Okay. I don't. No, I'm saying, like, I think if you're getting hurt, like braces are involved, you know, like if you got your wrist brace on again, that idea.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

If you just take a. It obviously hurts to take a razor scooter to the shin or the ankle.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

But I don't. I wouldn't say you're hurt.

[Ryan]

Yeah, no, I feel like anything because.

[Jared]

I've been hurt already on the razor scooter, if that's what we're going off.

[Ryan]

Yeah, Anything that impairs my legs or my arms.

[Miles]

Okay. Now you're.

[Ryan]

That I can't move them properly.

[Jared]

Any. Anything that he would potentially have to go into a blue medical tent like the NFL.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

That's considered hurt in my opinion.

[Tyler]

Anything that requires a second look.

[Ryan]

Anything that.

[Jared]

Yeah, anything that requires some sort of protocol. We probably say that you got hurt.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Now if a wheel falls off, I'm fucked.

[Miles]

Right.

[Ryan]

I'm going like, I'm going straight over the handlebars. You be shipping container bar. Because if I go ahead first in that, you won't hear from me for a while.

[Tyler]

We'll hear the trash, though.

[Ryan]

But speaking of wheels falling off, got the lawnmower again this last. This last weekend. Of course, I'm going like every other day schedule now. Just opposite directions. Diagonal Whatever last I you. Not the last strip. I like. I finished the last 21 inch strip with my mower. I. I stopped the mower like from moving. The front wheel fell off.

[Tyler]

Oh, at your house or here?

[Ryan]

Yeah. My house. Yeah, yeah, my house. That's my gas. That's my. My new beloved gas mower too.

[Jared]

Oh my God.

[Ryan]

Craftsman.

[Jared]

Oh yeah. We'll just jump into your lawn update right now then. Let's do it. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Well I figured if wheels falling off, getting hurt wheel fell off. The law. I'm not hurt but. And the entire took me four and a half hours mow lawn. But hey, just keep stretching it out. The longer you just get some. Some serenity.

[Jared]

Why did it take you four and a half hours?

[Ryan]

I push mode it. That's just how big my lawn is. Not to break. Don't you.

[Tyler]

Don't you have a giant mowing attachment for your tractor?

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean you can't be tired.

[Tyler]

But I thought it was like a fine one. I asked you about it if it was a brush hog or a fine mower and you said it was a fine mower.

[Jared]

It is.

[Ryan]

But the wheel, the. The wheels of the rods. Yeah. The whee wheels of that tractor will be all.

[Jared]

Run it up.

[Ryan]

Yeah, this is. This grass is young still.

[Tyler]

All right.

[Ryan]

So it's got a lot of youth to it.

[Jared]

So now you're kind of in between a rock and a hard place here. Your. Your electric mower you're not happy with. And now the wheels are coming off your gas mower. What are you gonna do?

[Ryan]

I. I think it's a. I don't know, ball bearing issue or something.

[Jared]

You might just have to go all natural lawn. You have to go fescue.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

You know, plant some wildflowers and just call it a day at this point for how. How tough mowing the lawn is for you. Well.

[Ryan]

Or I get one of those. Not like the. Not the. The real mowers. The like the gas powered realmwars but like just a manual.

[Jared]

Yeah, like a manual. Real mower.

[Ryan]

R E L. Yes.

[Tyler]

I would like to see you just skip that step and go straight to a scythe.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Tyler]

I've been seeing this guy, that Moses lawn with a scythe on TikTok.

[Ryan]

Me too.

[Tyler]

Satisfying as hell.

[Ryan]

Me too.

[Jared]

You could be a scyther.

[Ryan]

It's pretty. It's pre.

[Tyler]

That's a Pokemon.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's pretty satisfying.

[Jared]

God.

[Miles]

You don't want to take that to the ankle though.

[Tyler]

No, that would suck.

[Jared]

You also don't want your kids around While you're doing that. No, no, you don't want them to lose an ankle. Just take it right clean off.

[Ryan]

It's kind of the type of thing, too, that you. You like, mount it up on the wall.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Kind of like a deer mount, if you will. S scythe or sith scythe.

[Tyler]

I think you should, while you're scything your yard, wear, like a long black robe and a hood, too, probably.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Jared]

Yeah. And you don't want any clippings getting in your. Getting like jumping up at your face. You should wear a mask as well. Yeah.

[Miles]

Things could get grim.

[Tyler]

Bone one, just. You just reap what you sow.

[Jared]

Yeah. They could just. Yeah. Call them the reaper, you know.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You guys stole all of them.

[Jared]

All right.

[Ryan]

That's where I'm at, though. That's where I'm at. So I don't know how.

[Jared]

Well, we'll get an update next time on if you got your real mower or not.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I guess. Without asking. Asking like my dad or my grandpa, I don't even. I don't really know how to diagnose a problem. I mean, I. I know how to diagnose a problem, but my first. My first thought is, like, let's go ask somebody to see if they can give me an answer quicker. You know, you take a look at.

[Tyler]

It, could have just been like a.

[Jared]

Screw fell out, could have rattled loose, you know?

[Ryan]

Well, okay, so there's like. There's like five or six beads on the inside of the wheel that are rattling around and. So like I said, turned the wheel over, dumped him out. I'm from the bearing, I'm assuming. I don't. Again, I don't know much about mower wheels, especially 21 inch Craftsman wheels, but. Yeah, I don't know where those beads go up your ass or only if.

[Tyler]

They'Re on a chain.

[Jared]

True.

[Ryan]

They ain't on a chance.

[Tyler]

They're all loose. They'll get stuck up there, then look.

[Miles]

Up your ass, Ryan.

[Tyler]

My dad used to say that. Be like, dad, I can't find the wrench. He'd be like, I bet if it was up your ass, you'd know where it is. Yeah, I would.

[Jared]

Probably would.

[Ryan]

God, that one never fails.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Can't wait to drop that one on my kids someday.

[Jared]

All right, well, thanks for the update, Ryan. Yeah. You'll figure it out.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm not worried.

[Jared]

Big news for me over the weekend, guys. I. I came out of concrete retirement this last weekend.

[Tyler]

Did you?

[Jared]

I helped. I helped pour a patio over the weekend.

[Tyler]

Nice.

[Jared]

Oh, and I don't know if you guys are familiar with the reference. It's just like riding a bike.

[Tyler]

I've heard it.

[Jared]

Yeah, if you guys have heard that one. But it was just like riding a bike.

[Miles]

Oh, that's good.

[Jared]

I hopped right back on, started pedaling and I went for miles.

[Ryan]

God, that had to felt good though.

[Jared]

So scenario buddy of ours needed a patio done. So me, my brother, my dad, my cousins, my uncle, we all got together like the Amish. Kind of like the. It was a family event. We all were family except for we had one in law with, but you know, so family, asterisk, family. And the crazy part is all of us had a tenure at my dad's concrete construction job. At some point, one of the guys still works there. So he was, he was in season.

[Tyler]

So he was forming that day.

[Jared]

Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. And I tell you what, if all of the stuff we went on to do didn't pan out and we wanted to get back into concrete, we would be the most well oiled concrete crew in, in the tri state area. We were humming.

[Tyler]

Hell yeah.

[Jared]

Mud showed up. No one had to be like, all right, you're gonna do this, you're gonna do this. We all just went and grabbed the tools that we felt and knew that we were supposed to be doing. We all had self awareness. I'm not a finisher. I mean, you guys look at me.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you've only finished once in your life.

[Jared]

Yeah, one time. So I'm, I'm grabbing the. Come along. I'm, I'm, I'm moving mud around. I'm not doing the fine detail work. And everyone knew that about themselves. Everyone jumped into place. No one had to tell anyone the whole time what to do. And we were done in just like that. And it felt so good to be back.

[Tyler]

I think the buried headline of the story is that the mud showed up on time.

[Jared]

Yeah, that was strange.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that was strange on a weekend too.

[Jared]

Super funny too, because my cousin was man in the chute. And when you're man in the chute, because they're just backing up and then they're. You're doing it by hand. You know, you got to give them the signals on what to do, like go forward, go back, unlock it so that I can move it, lift it up, lift it down. And, and we were doing this in South Dakota, so we, we usually reside in North Dakota, Minnesota. And it was just kind of funny because my cousin just expected this guy who's never Drove truck for before to know what all of his hand signals mean. And of course, he's doing them kind of like this, you know, like just very, like, like very small movements. And then the best is like, he's getting mad at the guy in the truck because he doesn't understand fully what's going on. And I. I didn't say it in the moment, but afterwards I was like, pretty funny that you just expected this guy to know. To know what that means. Yeah, you know, it's like, right.

[Miles]

In cursive.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Twitch.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You're like playing charades at this point.

[Jared]

Y. Pretty funny.

[Tyler]

How long until you guys started throwing jabs?

[Jared]

Well, we were all kind of sucking hind tent because. Because also we were not in concrete shape, so it was. It was after we were done that we were really okay throwing it around, you know?

[Tyler]

So maybe you're saying that if there was less. Less this. Less talking in the hole, every job could go like this.

[Jared]

Probably a little bit. Yeah, sure.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Diagnosed.

[Jared]

But yeah, it was. Yeah. Because we've talked about this before. We'll be like, sitting in the office and we're just like, sitting there, like, God, it'd be nice just have one day back out there, you know, you had to shoot the. With the guys, work with your hands again. And I finally got it and it is as advertised.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I think. I think we both talked about this, though. It would be nice to have it back for probably like a week.

[Jared]

Well, I would say I'm pretty good for a while now.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

A couple years.

[Tyler]

You do it for a week. Like, okay, I remember why I don't do this anymore.

[Jared]

Yeah, we could probably be my limit now.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

But yeah, it was. It was nice. It was great. My dad had to have been like, God, I wish you guys all still work there. My job would be so much easier.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, he's go. He's going back to work Monday. Like, Jesus Christ. Christ, what have I gotten myself into?

[Miles]

Yeah, your dad should have, like a concrete, like, millennial experience to get more workers.

[Jared]

Yeah. Yeah. It's like you pay 200 bucks and you go to a kitchen and they teach you how to make a steak. You know, like those types of experiences. You pay him 200 bucks to learn how to pour a slab.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And you market it, like, as a fitness thing. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Well, you could do it at night too, with a bunch of, like, strobe lights and protein shakes and pre workout being thrown around.

[Jared]

Think we want people working concrete at night?

[Ryan]

Well, that's what the Concrete industry wants you to think, they want you to think we can't be porn at night. But why not?

[Tyler]

I mean you could market this to like hippies too. Like to be there for the birth of a house pour the basement.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's a, it's a. This is a home birth.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah. Quite literally, perfectly.

[Jared]

I see what you're saying. Yeah.

[Tyler]

She was like, you'll never connect with a place more than if you're there for the basement. Being poor.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It'll be called like foundation or something.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

What's also very funny about doing it with everyone, the amount of jokes about how we should all put our ball prints in the concrete. Every person made a joke about it. There's there. Tell me. Because then we like also poured these little like stepping. They're probably like two by two, like stepping stones that once they're dry you can move it wherever and use. Because we had some extra concrete and they're like miles. We're all going to hold your arms and your, and your feet and we're going to dip you down and we're going to do a butt and ball print on this stepping stone.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's hot enough out to where they'll just, they'll start sagging.

[Miles]

Can't do it in the fall.

[Ryan]

No, I can't do it in the fall. Yeah, it's nice out this weekend.

[Tyler]

You've mentioned concrete burns before. What would the concrete burn on a nuts be like?

[Jared]

Yeah, we'd have to, we'd have to give me washed down real quick.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

Put some plastic over it.

[Tyler]

You're good.

[Ryan]

Did everyone like, did they all have like their original boots and that they used to work concrete with most of them.

[Jared]

My brother did not break those babies out of retirement.

[Ryan]

Out of. Felt good.

[Jared]

Yeah, I, I broke mine out of retirement. I still had concrete on from. However my last time I did concrete, 15 years ago. All right, guys, prize picks time of the week right now. Prize picks will give you fifty dollars in lineups. When you play your first five dollar lineup, win or lose, you're getting fifty bucks in lineups. Use promo code YBR when you sign up today.

[Tyler]

Hell yeah.

[Jared]

Oh, I wish I could go back to that first signing up moment. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's kind of like when you watch a movie for the first time and you wish you could go back and watch that movie for the first time again. I wish I could go back and get the thrill of submitting my first.

[Miles]

Line like Men in Black.

[Jared]

Yeah. Yeah. I wish I Could just boom and I'm back. Not because submitting lineups now isn't that fun. It's fun, but it's just not your first time. And so if you guys haven't signed up, you gotta do it. Special feeling.

[Tyler]

I. I remember my first win. The lineup, it was.

[Jared]

Well, I remember my first big win.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

What's his name?

[Ryan]

C.R.

[Jared]

That'S sure Rush. He was my first big win.

[Miles]

Always remember.

[Ryan]

You always remember.

[Jared]

He popped my win cherry. Anyways, should we get lineup?

[Tyler]

Yeah. Hey, we're just trying to get somebody else's wind cherry popped with this lineup.

[Jared]

Yes. Yes, we are.

[Ryan]

We got a max discount this week.

[Tyler]

We do have a max discount this week, right?

[Jared]

Max discount this week is Jaylen Herz. He just needs a pass yard. Just needs one pass yard.

[Tyler]

I think he can do it.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Just hopefully he doesn't get hurts.

[Tyler]

Little peek behind the curtain. Even if he gets hurt on the first play, they'll still give it to you.

[Jared]

Hey, inside information. Sorry. I got Baker Mayfield less than 232 and a half pass yards. I kind of caught some flack from this from the boys. I don't, I don't care anymore.

[Tyler]

You don't bet against Baker?

[Miles]

Against Baker.

[Jared]

If I had bet against Baker the last five games, I only would have lost once on this.

[Tyler]

But you didn't. He did. If now he's gonna find out. He's gonna listen to the podcast, chip on his shoulder. He's gonna go for 350.

[Jared]

I hope he, I hope I, I, I hope Baker Mayfield's listening to this podcast, gets a chip and beats it. So I lose. I'll take that loss. Okay. Yeah, that sounds like a great win. It's a win win. Baker Mayfield's a big YBR head. Of course. Yeah, I'll take that doppelganger.

[Miles]

Anyways, Jared, I got Jordan Love more than one and a half passing touchdowns.

[Jared]

Tyler, I got.

[Tyler]

I'm betting against Justin Herbert less than 258 and a half pass yards.

[Jared]

I hope you listen to this. And he puts a chip on his shoulder. It.

[Miles]

I'll take.

[Tyler]

He won't.

[Ryan]

Ryan, Bryce young less than 205.

[Jared]

I hope he listens to this. I think.

[Tyler]

But you always bet against Bryce. Never bet against, baby. 205 is low, dude.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's not low when he passes for 160 a week.

[Jared]

All right, we'll see. Hey, we, we, we submitted the lineup. Well, may the lineup be what the lineup will be.

[Tyler]

Hey, also follow us on our profiles to the 55 of you that follow the wooden sword. You're welcome for the back to back wins.

[Miles]

There you go.

[Jared]

Let's go ride with Tyler. Can't go wrong.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I went wrong a lot of times. Ryan. Tyler.

[Jared]

Okay. All right. Well guys, good luck this week. Use code YBR if you'd like to pop your prize picks cherry. Have fun. It's also funny too, because some of the guys worked there for like at least 10 years. And it was funny because at the end of the pour, we all were like, that mud was like kind of nice. And we started like talking about the concrete that we like. This is way better than the stuff we had to use back then. Then, like, it's easy to move around. It was this and that. And it's just funny that no one else would notice that. But these guys have been doing it forever. But it's like, it's kind of funny that when you get into a construction job, there's all these fine little things that you start to notice. Like, I'm sure on the roof there had to have been like, oh, when this is. When this is in play kind of nice.

[Tyler]

Especially on re roofs. Like, you could tell who did a good job by how hard it was to take off the previous roof. Yeah, like the tear off bar. Like, look how these guys not have a hundred leaks because it's taken us four days to take the roof off because it's so full of glue. And.

[Jared]

Yeah, like little things. Like we're doing a basement. If like it was out of town a lot of times we wouldn't like fill the basement. We wouldn't do drain tile around it. So then you. We would fill the basement with rocks and it's easy to walk around. But if there's mud, it's like little stuff like that that make a job much easier.

[Tyler]

When I was up, Ryan helped Ryan change air filters like two weeks ago. Whoever did our roof, there's quite a few puddles up there. Puddles are bad.

[Jared]

Tyler.

[Miles]

Just don't even surprise me at this point.

[Jared]

I just, I just don't need a vendetta against our roof guys. Also, a little side note, I got a notification on my calendar today that today is air filter changing day at my house. House. Do you have a huge day?

[Ryan]

Do you have air filters at your house to.

[Jared]

I don't know.

[Tyler]

Notifications. Great. But have you? And will you change them?

[Jared]

Oh, I will, I will. Okay, I will.

[Ryan]

The issue is got the notification at work. So not, you know, change of scenery you might forget.

[Tyler]

Gotta schedule those for early a.m. or late evening.

[Jared]

Yeah. So if I don't, then I'm gonna do it in a few days when the Amazon package, the filter shows up. Yeah, good call.

[Ryan]

Good call. Yeah. I mean the H Vac update here at the office, we, we're now told we got to change filters every three months, so. I forgot to tell you, I mean.

[Jared]

I, I predicted this.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I think I went on a rant about. You're supposed to change every six months. No, three. A year from now it'll be. It'll be every three weeks. Yeah, we'll have to change every three days. Every three days. Change them out. We have to hire a full time to change the air filters.

[Tyler]

There's lot of them up there too.

[Jared]

Was like 32 filters or something like that. Yes.

[Ryan]

Yep, I believe so.

[Jared]

Also, how much are these costing us too?

[Ryan]

It's a couple hundred bucks, like per round of filters. They ain't cheap.

[Miles]

Probably cost a dollar to make.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I mean they probably just, I don't know, someone dives through the dumpsters, grabs the old ones and just like.

[Tyler]

Air hose them off, sprays them down, puts them on a drying rack.

[Jared]

Good idea. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Air. Air filter recycling.

[Tyler]

Refurbished.

[Ryan]

Refurbished air filters suck. Yeah.

[Jared]

So, yeah, I felt good. Felt good.

[Ryan]

Not for, not again for a while though.

[Jared]

Yeah. I mean if few weeks someone, you know, hit me up, I'll do it.

[Tyler]

But once a year.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you're gonna be. I mean you're gonna see new houses going up around town and be like, you're gonna be checking work.

[Jared]

Oh yeah, there's one in my neighbor that just went up.

[Ryan]

How are they? Decent job or no?

[Jared]

Yeah, they did a good. They did a good job. What I really like what people started doing is on the window wells, they started edging the top to make it like nice and curved and finished so that like. Because that will be exposed to when it's all done. Yeah, I really like that. Some people are. Some people even do the like panel that's got the like fake brick around the inside. So if you're looking out the window.

[Ryan]

That'S what we did.

[Jared]

It's pretty nice.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

So they had the. I don't know if they had the fake brick or not, but I was looking at the layout of the house and there was two windows on the west on the east side, but then there was no other windows in the rest of the basement. So I was trying to get an ocular pat down on how I think the floor layout is. I'm guessing those are probably two bedrooms there then the rest is a living room and storage area. But I think it maybe want one more window. Yeah. Yeah, but that's. It's not my. Not my house, not my circus, not my monkeys. Nope.

[Tyler]

But yeah.

[Jared]

So we actually had a pretty funny moment at the end of last week. We were talking about our wives texting us. Okay. And kind of what, you know, everyone's hitting up because I sliced my finger.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Jared]

And my brother stopped by. What?

[Tyler]

I was wondering why the first aid kit was out on the table.

[Jared]

Yeah. So it's getting a lot better.

[Ryan]

Super glue works. Works.

[Jared]

But I sliced my finger playing with my pocket knife, closed it on my own finger. Blood everywhere. It was because it was last week. It was right before the podcast had a huge bandage on it. And my brother was here and he's like. He took a Snapchat of me and sent it to an and he's like, you didn't tell an that you sliced your finger? And I go, no, what. What are we going to talk about when I get home? If I text her about it? And it bring me to the realization that guys never text your wife back during the day because you won't have anything to talk about at home later if you guys talk all day long.

[Ryan]

You're exactly right.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And you know, that's going to lead to as well. Now, obviously, most of us have kids here. Kids are going to think mom and dad are kind of drifting apart, you.

[Tyler]

Know, if you're not talking when you get home. Correct.

[Jared]

Yes.

[Ryan]

If we're texting them directly in the day.

[Jared]

Well.

[Tyler]

And if I've learned anything from romance movies, it's distance makes the heart grow fonder.

[Jared]

That's true.

[Tyler]

So you got to really distance yourself during the day.

[Jared]

Yeah. I think my wife said she likes the hard to get kind, so. Yeah, I just. I try and play hard to get all day.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

It's also kind of a. A flirtatious, romantic thing. Right. Mysterious, mysterious, hard to get husband. Which makes me hotter. Right. Right, guys?

[Ryan]

Yeah, I would agree.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I think. I think to even just double down, maybe just stop wearing your wedding ring during the day.

[Jared]

Not a bad idea, actually. Yeah, we can. Then when I get home, we can role play like we. Like we just met.

[Tyler]

Yeah. In your.

[Jared]

In your own house, it's always a fun little thing. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. One of you could be like a doordash driver or something.

[Tyler]

Like, hey, you could show up with Domino's. Be like, hey, my name's Dan. Here's your large pepperoni.

[Jared]

Oh, well, can you just bring it inside and set it on the counter for me. They're pretty heavy.

[Tyler]

Sorry, I don't have any money.

[Jared]

Well, ma', am, if you don't have any money, I think there's probably another way.

[Miles]

Every night.

[Tyler]

Every single night. This is a whole new meaning.

[Jared]

Just because I don't want to text my wife back just turns this whole thing.

[Miles]

So much work after work, it's like.

[Jared]

All right, I gotta leave early, guys. I gotta go. I gotta go to the party city. I gotta get a costume.

[Ryan]

Pizza boy's running its course.

[Tyler]

I'm now milk delivery man.

[Jared]

And I think next month I'm gonna be the postman.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I gotta get a new vehicle, too. I gotta get the steering wheel on the other side of the vehicle.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I'm headed to a postal auction here.

[Jared]

Those. Those Schwann's trucks are for sale.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Hell yeah.

[Jared]

Goodbye Swans truck for like five grand. Show up in.

[Ryan]

That'd be kind of sweet. You got a sweet. I mean, Amazon drivers these days, they're just regular people in their regular vehicle pulling up to your house delivering packages. You could just throw on a blue vest. The Amazon guy.

[Jared]

That's true. That's true. I mean, independent contractors.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I usually texted my wife during the day. I usually treat it like. Like it's like I'm at a text club to where I just. I just reply with stop in all caps. And I just don't get anything after.

[Jared]

That because any text back. Opt. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Hey, where's the link to opt out of this text club?

[Tyler]

Do you get any automated replies?

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

She's like, why do you want. Like, why do you want to opt out of this conversation? Because I'm at work right now.

[Jared]

Yeah, Stop.

[Tyler]

You know how, like, when people call you, you can immediately send them a text? Like you can hit the just.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, the message.

[Tyler]

The auto message. Deal. Yeah, I have saved and they're on the pod right now.

[Ryan]

Now.

[Jared]

Oh, nice.

[Tyler]

So, like, that's nice. My wife will call me on the pod. I can just double tap that. It's on pod right now.

[Jared]

That's nice. What's kind of funny is I'm realizing that I treat the conversation with my wife that I treat the text message conversation with my wife much like I treat group messages. But it's not a group. It's just me and my wife. You know, I just pick and choose the messages that I deem that I need to respond to. You know, if it's because, I mean. And it's not that I'm being mean. To my wife, it's like she's also using this as a little journal for herself and a way for her to, you know, throw her thoughts out there for the me to discuss later. Because, like, her telling me that, you know, our son didn't nap very well, I don't think that that requires me to respond right away. But if, like, oh, our child, you know, is. He broke his arm, I'm gonna respond.

[Tyler]

Yeah, he sliced his finger playing with his pocket knife.

[Jared]

Yeah. His toy pocket knife. That's your Price Fisher Price pocket knife. He cut his. You know, then I'm gonna respond. But then when we get home, it's like, oh, why do you think he didn't sleep too well, you know?

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

Well, we should probably get him to bed a little early tonight. You know, I wouldn't be able to say that if I already said it earlier in the day.

[Miles]

It's great combo.

[Jared]

Great conversation.

[Tyler]

It's like a notes app. She's treating you guys as text conversations and notes app to check back in later.

[Jared]

100%. You really told your wife you opted out?

[Ryan]

No, no, but it goes through my head.

[Tyler]

I really like that. I think I might give it a shot.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Just try it.

[Ryan]

Like, unprompted. Just try it.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That's a great idea.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You know, I think a lot of it, too, is just us. You know, we're trying to delay the move into the digital. We want to be face to face type of people, you know?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

The more we just keep texting, the. The worse we get at face to face conversations.

[Jared]

Right.

[Ryan]

And that translates over to everything.

[Miles]

Like, my go to conversation when I get home is like, what you have for lunch today? Like, I'm not going to text that. That's a banger of a topic.

[Tyler]

That's also a terrible question.

[Jared]

What's up, baby? What are you eating?

[Miles]

Right. Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

It's like, what are you going to text your kids Travel ball coach and be like, hey, why is my kid not playing? No, let's go face to face. Let's talk about this. Like, really? My kids been gr.

[Tyler]

Face to face or bleachers to dugout? I'll yell it.

[Ryan]

Exactly. You know, we got to keep that face to face interaction because it's going to do us well in other aspects.

[Miles]

Yeah. Would you ever confront a travel ball coach if your kid wasn't playing enough, Ryan?

[Ryan]

I mean, my initial answer is no, but I've also never had a kid play travel ball because I don't have kids old enough, so I can't Say for sure.

[Miles]

Gotcha.

[Tyler]

I mean, I think I would if it was like a bunch of blowout games and if my kid sucks, he sucks, that's fine. But if it's a bunch of blowout games and he doesn't get in for garbage innings and I'm paying for this travel team.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I would then say something like, dude, you're up 15 runs. Let him get a hit in.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Like these, These kids are 8 years old. Like what is the game about at 8 years old? It's about just like figuring out if you like it or not.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

No one likes sitting on the bench. I wouldn't know.

[Tyler]

But.

[Miles]

I could imagine.

[Tyler]

But I, I would not be the Jared.

[Jared]

What's his nickname again?

[Miles]

Ride? Pine. Shiplap?

[Jared]

Sheila.

[Miles]

String beans. Ship Left. I'm just quoting. Right. I'm not.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I, I never got mad at you.

[Tyler]

You should put that on your team. Ryan Hatton.

[Ryan]

Oh, never got mad at you.

[Miles]

No, never.

[Tyler]

But, but I would never say anything if like the kid clearly shouldn't be playing and it's close game.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's. I'm excited to figure out if my kid is, is got the chops to play sports or not. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I want to do my very best to be a very self aware parent about my, my kids abilities. Sure. You know, because there's just nothing, there is nothing worse than a parent who is delusional about their kids talent at any given activity.

[Ryan]

Definitely.

[Tyler]

It's one of my favorite videos on the Internet is that that kid throws a ball and his mom goes, that kid is gonna be a professional athlete. And then he, and then he takes the ball to the face.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Immediately doesn't catch the ball, gets smoked in the head.

[Jared]

Yeah. It's just, it's an uncomfortable thing too. Right. It's like because if you're in a conversation with a parent who's bitching about their kid, maybe not getting playing time or something, and you kind of know their kid's not very athletic. It's just. What do you say at that point?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Because you don't want to egg them on and be like, yeah, you're so right. Timmy is a great ball player. You also don't want to be a dick and be like, well, I think he might be better as the scorekeeper. You know, you can't say that either.

[Tyler]

You just got to make a joke. That's, that's your way out of everything. Like, well, sorry, I don't like to talk politics.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's a good one. File that one away.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Future reference. Yeah.

[Ryan]

That's why you just become the coach.

[Jared]

Good.

[Tyler]

But yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So then you have everyone yelling at you.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Well, then you kids guarantee playing time.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Would you rather be the coach that gets yelled at for parent by parents for playing time or the. The ump, slash, referee that gets yelled at by parents all the time?

[Ryan]

Oh, the umpire. For sure.

[Tyler]

You'd rather be the ump for sure.

[Jared]

Because you get you. Yeah, it's. It's.

[Ryan]

It's said and done. The coach is like an ongoing season type of deal.

[Jared]

Yeah, well, it's ongoing thing. And two, if you're like the ump or the ref, like, you can put on a theatric show throwing some period out.

[Tyler]

You do have power in the position.

[Jared]

Like, I. I was at some basketball tournaments growing up where a parent got thrown out of the gym.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah, I've seen that.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

That's insane.

[Jared]

And then just like, not responding to your wife all day. If that happens, you'll have something to talk about at night.

[Tyler]

That's true.

[Jared]

At the.

[Tyler]

At the umpires Guild.

[Jared]

Yeah. Oh, I got this one bonehead I had to throw out today.

[Ryan]

It's like, hey, you're still gonna collect the check after the game? Oh, I just dip out. You don't even need to talk to the. Your players.

[Jared]

Afterwards, I called the block on his son who thought he got a charge, and, oh, my. His feet were moving.

[Ryan]

He was interested.

[Jared]

He didn't beat him to the spot, and I just. He just let me have it, so I threw him out. Awesome.

[Miles]

Yeah, there is sports parents, though. There are some sports parents that, like, know. Know which refs suck and which reps are good.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah, my mom. My mom still has vendettas against guys that used to ref me as a child.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Like, I. I was at the golf course, and a guy that used to ref my high school games was there. We were talking, whatever, and then I. Next episode, I'm like, hey, I saw so and so guy.

[Ryan]

I was with you when you were. When you. When we ran across him.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Because he used to rep my games too.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

That's wild.

[Jared]

Parents hate referees. Oh, God, till the day they die. Mother Teresa could have been a referee at my basketball game if she made the wrong call. My mom would hate her until she died, even if it was Mother Teresa.

[Ryan]

But yet there's still, like. I mean, there's. There's still a referee shortage. It seems like in every sport out there.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Nobody wants this to subject Themselves to that, that ridicule from parents for $8 an hour.

[Ryan]

But is there a, is there a. Is there a coach shortage too? Because you'd much you, you'd think they're.

[Jared]

Well see, it's built in, right? Because coaches, there's, there's X amount of parents that have like skin in the game of wanting to like help out their kids team.

[Ryan]

Sure. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Where there's no like referees are teachers that need a second job.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

No, you're right, you're right.

[Jared]

They just have, don't have any skin in the game other than how much money they can make doing it.

[Miles]

Yeah, they make so much much money.

[Jared]

It was so rich.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean like it's like a 20 year old. I mean you hop on the plate or something, throw the gear on. You paid 70 bucks, 80 bucks a game. I, I'd, I would do that. Yeah, I did that. I, I think I maybe umpire like two or three times. I was a base path guy. You weren't gonna throw me behind the plate? No way. Number one, I wasn't throwing gear on. And number two, I, I don't know. Bang bang plays. There's no replaying Legion ball. I can just calm safer up it. You know.

[Jared]

Also I think we got a pretty fire referee squad on our hands right here and umpiring, right? Oh yeah. So if we were basketball, how many like a high school basketball game, how many refs are on the court? Three. Yeah.

[Miles]

Two or three.

[Jared]

And then there's one kind of ref guy behind the table, right?

[Ryan]

I believe so. Yeah.

[Jared]

And just in case one of them goes down.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yep. So Jared, you're the guy behind the thing making sure everything's tip top shape for basketball. For basketball.

[Miles]

Tyler.

[Jared]

Tyler. Well, Tyler's loves rules.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

I don't know any of basketball.

[Jared]

Unless you do. You, you think, did you play basketball?

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Okay. So yeah, okay. We'll put you, we'll put you behind there. You'll make sure you'll handle any coaches challenges.

[Tyler]

I'll make sure the possession arrow is correct.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Oh yeah.

[Jared]

You're gonna love that.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Watch it like a hawk.

[Jared]

And you're be great at bringing us water and stuff at times.

[Ryan]

Towels.

[Tyler]

As long as I don't have to make any actual calls.

[Jared]

And then me, Ryan and Jared will run up and down the court. I'll be the one in the middle. You guys can be on both ends. You got to do more running.

[Ryan]

That's fine.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

By black slacks.

[Tyler]

And it checks out. We have a half marathon and ultra Marathon guy so that they're the runners and.

[Jared]

Yeah. Oh, my God. We're just gonna. Our brand is going to be theatrics out there on the court.

[Miles]

I mean, we're gonna make it about us.

[Jared]

Hey, we're not just. Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

It's not about the kids anymore.

[Jared]

Like, you've seen the Savannah Bananas banana ball. We're going to be that same thing, but just a group of referees. You know, we're not just going block on. Number four is going to be like.

[Ryan]

And it's like, potentially like. Like, I might have to call a foul on you for too many, like, too big of hip thrusts for the block call.

[Jared]

Yeah, a lot of hip thrusting.

[Miles]

Travel. Get the roll on.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

Call pepper. Jared, you're the travel guy.

[Jared]

Tyler will be behind there. He'll actually have themed musics every time. Okay. So if there's a charge, like, he'll start up a song that starts, like, maybe play Crazy Train.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, we could do that. With shipping up to Boston every time there's a charge.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

You know, though, I could do She's.

[Tyler]

A Brick House every time. What's the block one?

[Jared]

The. Yeah. Block.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I'll play brick house on that one.

[Ryan]

It's a good one. If they're like. If one team is, like, blowing another team out and the team winning, like, they're on, like, a breakaway, they're gonna dunk it or something. I'll jump up and block his ass.

[Jared]

Yeah, well, yeah. And. And the thing is, it's like, you know how when you play, like, NBA 2K video games game, if you get up by, like, 25 points, all of a sudden your guys weirdly start missing every shot, and then the game gets closer again. We're gonna be that for high school. Every game is gonna go down to the wire, but then when we're making calls, we're gonna be sticking our foot out, tripping breakaways, because if it's a.

[Tyler]

Blowout, then the result isn't up to us.

[Jared]

Correct, Correct. We need to be in control. Yeah.

[Ryan]

And I mean, if I go up for. If I go up for a block, I mean, you guys can call a foul on me. The guy at least still gets two chances to. To get those points back.

[Jared]

As a ref, I will take a charge for sure. I'll beat him to the spot. I'll take a charge. And we're going the other way. And if you don't think I'm going to be handing out technicals like candy, any little eye roll, any little Dirty look, two shots for the other team.

[Miles]

Sweet dictatorship.

[Jared]

Yeah. Yep. Throwing fans out.

[Miles]

You know, there'll be nobody left in the stands.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Well, by the fourth quarter, we're chilling because all the crazy fans are out. Everyone else is kind of like, they're washing themselves a little bit. They know there's a chance they may get thrown out, but the riff raff, they're in the hallway, they're getting taco in a bag at the old.

[Jared]

Yeah. They're eating the popcorn that they're putting in the garbage bag for someone to take. Yeah. And then, like, during timeouts, actually, we're not doing water. We're gonna. We're gonna do water like. Like they do a marathons where Tyler's just gonna be holding it out. We'll have to run by because actually, when the game is not going on, that's our time to shine.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jared]

We're gonna be doing, like, layup lines, three man weaves. We're gonna bring out a trampoline. We're gonna do flip dunks like mascots do. Like, okay, this is gonna be, you know, we're gonna be the guys.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jared]

Well.

[Ryan]

And, you know, if Any team takes 22nd full time out, whatever, like, we're also gonna huddle up and we're gonna be drawing up as well.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So it's like, we're not just, man.

[Jared]

What'S the next call we can blow Correct. What's the next technical we can give out? Who. Who should we target?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah. We're gonna start egging players on to get them technical.

[Ryan]

Yeah. We'll talk back to them.

[Jared]

We'll get in their face, get them to say so. We'll also get dirt on all the players.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

You know. Yeah. Nice pass, loser. Nice pass. I know what you suck at. Everything. No wonder you got an F in science the last semester.

[Miles]

Yeah. Past science for once.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

We just got to do our research ahead of time. Instead of watching film we check out, we make sure we know every single one of the players, what their moms look like.

[Jared]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Maybe when. Maybe when said players, like, walking by a coach or something, be like, hey, have you finished that can of nicotine that you bought at the gas station the other day?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

How was that can of Copenhagen you were ripping other day?

[Jared]

We could also, to make the games more interesting, if there's a star player, we'll just plant evidence. Like, we'll. We'll plant like a. A skull can in his locker and call him in.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

So he gets. He Gets suspended for six weeks. Then we can make sure the game's close. Like.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

We're. We're buzzer beater only, guys. Yeah, that's what we're looking for. Overtime and buzzer beaters only.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, what, like, what type of games get the most news coverage? It's games that are close, you know, tight. Tight to the end, essentially.

[Miles]

Last shot, where you just keep calling, follows until we get a buzzer beater.

[Ryan]

Yes. The team that's down will be.

[Jared]

Nope. We have an untimed free throw.

[Ryan]

Well, then we got Tyler.

[Jared]

And then he misses both free throws. No, he stepped over the line early. One. Two more free throws.

[Ryan]

We got Tyler running shot clock. He's gonna hit fast forward on that baby. So we get 10 second call.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Crossing half court.

[Jared]

Yeah. Got it.

[Ryan]

Three seconds in length.

[Tyler]

Give me a signal.

[Ryan]

Yes. Yeah. Three seconds in the paint. No one calls that anymore, but we do. Thousand one, thousand two, thousand three. Three seconds in the lane. We're going that way. Oh.

[Jared]

What was that? You rolled your eyes at me. Roll them again. Roll them again.

[Ryan]

Technical coaches shooting free throws this time.

[Jared]

If you think a coach is lasting even halfway through the first half or of these games in. In the gymnasium, you're dreaming. They're getting booted. Both teams are losing their coaches.

[Tyler]

It's just the kid that takes stats calling plays now.

[Jared]

Yeah. Yep. It's gonna turn into like, it's gotta be. It's gonna feel a lot like just playing at the playground because, I mean, no coaches just meet guys running around. Yeah.

[Miles]

That's what it should be.

[Jared]

And that's what it is at its purest.

[Tyler]

You know, that's what we're trying to do, is get real basketball to be played again.

[Jared]

I might throw a coach out in warm ups. I'm warmed up because we're also teaching these kids life lessons. This is a microcosm for life. You just, you know, sometimes it just doesn't go your way. Actually, almost always it never goes your way. And that's what how we're going to left the games. This is never going to go good.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And I mean, if, if a. If a coach's palms even so much, much, think about going up to the sky.

[Jared]

Gone.

[Miles]

Out of here.

[Ryan]

God.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Hands in the pockets.

[Ryan]

Hands in the pockets the entire time.

[Miles]

Back to the bus.

[Jared]

And also, yeah, also, don't stand up. Don't get in our way. I'll intentionally take a wide loop on the sideline, trip over some. Trip over some kid's foot and give them A bench technical.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Sideline violation, sideline violation, just all sorts of stuff.

[Ryan]

Well, yeah, I mean, all warnings can get. All warnings can be thrown out during warmups. So there's no warnings during the game. It's boom. Action is taken during regulation.

[Jared]

We'll do. We'll. We'll warn every player in warm ups, correct?

[Ryan]

Yes, every warning.

[Jared]

This is your warning.

[Ryan]

Like when they do their run out to John Wall out of the locker room. Warning, warning, warning, warning, warning.

[Jared]

Yeah. As they're going by, warning, warning.

[Tyler]

Get in the high five tunnel and just give out warnings.

[Ryan]

Correct. Yeah.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah. No. Yeah. We shove the kid at the end of the starting lineups, tunnel out of the way, we jump off up and chest bump the guy and just go. Warning.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Well, for touch touching a referee, now you can't touch.

[Miles]

You can't touch.

[Tyler]

Okay, question. Simon says I don't know much about basketball, but are we worried about fouling out every player?

[Jared]

Well, yeah, but then it goes back to the. What you were saying earlier that, like, we want all kids to play.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

We're also big depth guys, so. We are. What kind of teams that. If you had a great starting five and a bench, I mean, that's.

[Jared]

That's.

[Ryan]

That's not. I want to see who's got better depth.

[Tyler]

It just feels like we might foul out the bench, too.

[Miles]

We'll play it by ear.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

If the game gets out of hand, we'll call.

[Jared]

So if this is a varsity game, the JV squad's still there. They're just in the stands with their, like, jumpsuit on. What if we start to dwindle down? We'll let them know, go gear up.

[Tyler]

You toss someone, you p. You pick one out of the crowd. Be like, it's your lucky day, buddy.

[Jared]

Yeah. Well, also, during timeouts and stuff, we will pick people out of the crowd and embarrass them one on one. One. So, you know. Yeah. Like, Joe, get on down here. Meet. We're going one on one. You got to try and stop me. And then I just dunk on it.

[Miles]

And then Ryan sets a pick out about it.

[Jared]

Yeah. Out of nowhere, we. We'll play three versus one and just embarrass him.

[Ryan]

I'm gonna. I'll go to set a pick, and then I'll take an offensive foul.

[Jared]

Yeah, we'll just throw double whammy. Yeah. You're gonna shoulder him. He's gonna eat. Then you're gonna fall back, and we'll give you the charge. Charge.

[Ryan]

And if you don't Think that one of us is winning the 5050 every single night. How do you think we get paid? 50, 50 rap.

[Jared]

If a team starts getting up by too many points, we'll just go over the little key on the wall that moves the. The hoops up, and we'll just. We'll just like, raise it, like, six inches so it's, like, angled back like this.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

So that they really have to try. Basically, the only bank it in. Yeah.

[Ryan]

No, I like that. I like that.

[Jared]

And then. And then once it gets closer again, we can bring it back down.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

And then if someone throws a fit, we throw them out.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And instead of, like, the sticky pad to get the dust off your shoes, we do super actual super glue.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

We have to.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

For the first couple.

[Jared]

I don't know the reason for that one, but, yeah, we're doing all this.

[Miles]

That team's up by 20. That would sticky GL.

[Tyler]

It's like the opposite of the movie Fluff lover.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Great movie.

[Jared]

Yeah. Like, if it. You know, if a guy's getting too many offensive rebounds and they're winning by a lot, just pants him, you know?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Before he can even go up. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Make sure his girlfriend's in the crowd.

[Miles]

Then call it wardrobe violation on them after.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. Jersey's not tucked in.

[Jared]

Oh, God. They better just show up in one pieces, because the second I see a little bottom of a shirt hanging out. Technical.

[Ryan]

Yeah, second I see it. One stitch.

[Tyler]

Is that a real foul?

[Ryan]

There's a lot of warnings, but again, those are.

[Jared]

Again, they already got warned at the beginning before the game started.

[Tyler]

Gotcha.

[Miles]

Some reps are real pricks about it, like us.

[Tyler]

I feel like you have one in mind, specifically.

[Miles]

I don't know. I don't remember any of the routes.

[Jared]

But other than that, all that stuff, I think everyone's gonna have fun. I think we would just be a lot of fun.

[Miles]

There'll be more people in the hallway and then the stands by the end they game.

[Jared]

Yeah. And then we can be like, wow, there was standing room only. That's how packed the game was. People had to go in the hallways and watch through the windows.

[Miles]

Shoot the game tight on the camera.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah. Don't. Don't pan any of the crowd.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. But it's kind of like dodgeball. One person gets thrown out, someone else.

[Jared]

Comes back in, we call block, and then the whole crowd starts booing, booing. And so we're like, hold on, hold on. Okay, who booed? You booed. You're out. You're out. I saw you booing. You yelled. You yelled, get some glasses. You're banned from this game and the next one.

[Ryan]

You called me a zebra. Yeah, you're out of here.

[Jared]

Just the only way you can say the gymnasium. If you cheer for every call we make.

[Ryan]

And I mean, if we get enough votes as to. To reverse a call, we will reverse it. We're not saying we can't be paid off.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Tyler]

By votes, we mean cash.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

If you pay us enough.

[Ryan]

So.

[Jared]

No, actually that's. Maybe, maybe we don't do that. Maybe every call we make, we'll. We'll do random games. It'll be one game where our bit is that we throw everyone out. Another game is we'll let the, the crowd vote on every call.

[Ryan]

It's like who Wants to be a Millionaire?

[Tyler]

It'll be like, what are those things?

[Jared]

Oh, like pulling the.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

We'll give everyone one of those clickers. It's either for it or against it.

[Tyler]

We just once you. When you walk in and you get your little, your, your ticket and your stamp, they give you a Kahoot thing and you just, you get to vote on Kahoot. So it's live results, like playing, playing.

[Ryan]

That TV game at BDubs.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah. Yep. We just like that. We can even tap into that technology.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

And then it's like, all right, that was a block. Let's see what the group said. And then. All right, 43% no, 57.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

Percent said yes. It is a block. Let's move on.

[Miles]

I still don't agree it's a no.

[Tyler]

You know, 55 say yes and 50% say too close to call.

[Jared]

There must be something wrong with the clickers. Let's just go with the original call. Let's go with the original call.

[Ryan]

Yeah. From here on out, we'll just, we'll go with. Call your own files.

[Jared]

And also, I'm gonna, I'm not gonna use a traditional whistle. I'm gonna use a train whistle.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I like that. I might even use it. One of them dog whistles. Yeah, like, one of them high pitched. Like.

[Jared]

Yeah. And then get pissed when no one hears it. Yeah. Throw people out for continuing to play after you blew the whistle.

[Tyler]

And that's just. Sure. Fire away to find out who the best player is, because only the dogs are gonna be able to hear that anyway.

[Ryan]

Exactly.

[Jared]

So, yeah, I think we do.

[Tyler]

Well, sounds fun.

[Ryan]

That's a good way to get people into the, into the refereeing world.

[Miles]

It's about fun, really.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

It is.

[Jared]

It's like we're just breeding an environment for fun that just brings the most out of the game and brings the most out of the players. Yeah.

[Miles]

Just gotta keep your mouth shut. You have fun.

[Jared]

Yeah. And at the end of the day, it's really just about us.

[Ryan]

And I mean, these kids, what are they going to be talking about 20 years after they're going to be talking about the referees of that game?

[Jared]

Hey, love us or hate us, it's still an obsession.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Love us or hate us, it's still all about us.

[Tyler]

I mean, how do you think Ed Hockley got to where he is? He didn't do it by just being making good calls and keeping his head down.

[Jared]

No, he did it by doing unlimited. Unlimited bicep curls. Steroids.

[Tyler]

Yeah, allegedly. And now we know who he is.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's true. Oh, yeah. Someday we'll do that. Yeah. To take a break. All right, folks, Jared's got a little brain teaser for us. Little hypothetical question.

[Miles]

Yep. I got this from.

[Tyler]

Sorry, I just read the Reddit user's name.

[Jared]

Yeah, Fudge Nipples. Yeah, Fudge Nipples one.

[Tyler]

Not to be confused with Fudge Nipples two or three.

[Jared]

Correct. Also, huge kick to nuts for this guy. Huge kick to the nips for this guy that he couldn't just get Fudge Nipples. Someone else got it.

[Ryan]

But he is a top 1% poster.

[Tyler]

That's impressive. Fudge Nipples.

[Jared]

All right, so what does Fudge Nipples have to say? Jared?

[Miles]

This is from Reddit. How long would you go without showering for.

[Jared]

For.

[Miles]

For $50,000 per day? No loopholes.

[Jared]

The no loopholes thing kind of throws me for a loop because we're kind of a loopholes podcast.

[Tyler]

I immediately was like, well, I'll take a bath every day, but I can't.

[Jared]

My. My M.O. is finding loopholes, moving goal posts, the whole thing. So you're really asking me to go against my nature here, Which I will, for Fudge Nipples 1.

[Tyler]

It's good on you, though, Jared, because. Because it's good for us to be uncomfortable every once in a while.

[Jared]

Yeah. And honestly, I'm starting to become comfortable with being uncomfortable, so in reality, I am comfortable right now.

[Ryan]

He's speaking my language.

[Miles]

Yeah. You were offered by a man to go without shouting for as long as you'd like, where you receive 50,000 per day.

[Jared]

Also. What a weird fetish for that guy.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, must be.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah, I just stink, baby.

[Ryan]

I'm gonna cook with that grease.

[Miles]

If you make it 10 days, you get $500,000 tax free. The moment you take a shower, your time ends there. And you'll be paid for the amount of days rounded to the nearest day. So if you do 10 days and 3 hours, you'll get paid for 10 days. 10 days and 20 hours, you'll get paid for 11 days. No loopholes are allowed like baths, wiping yourself at the sink, et cetera. You can use deodorant and or fragrance products. You can also wash your hands. One main thing is you are not allowed to change your normal lifestyle. If you are introverted homebody who already stays at home a lot, then you continue. If you go out frequently, you can not just decide abnormally to stay home 247 out of nowhere. So how long could you go?

[Jared]

Okay. I mean in reality I don't my normal lifestyle, I mostly just see you guys and my wife and kid. So I think I go a while. I think. I mean you got. Yeah. An's going to have to take the brunt of it.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I was just going to say I think the only two people that would truly be affected by this are my wife and Ryan. Because I sit pretty close to Ryan during the Double Bogey show.

[Jared]

Yeah. Cuz like you know, I can just do my. We already do meetings on like Zoom and stuff. Just amp up the Zoom meetings a little bit more. It's, it's gets to a point though with not showering. Right. Like you go from being greasy to then like kind of itchy and like gross. Right. Like just.

[Tyler]

I don't, I don't know. I, I mean I've gone like four days on hunting trips before without showering and I don't get, I'm, I smell like. But I'm not like getting skin rashes or anything.

[Jared]

Yeah. I wonder how long you gotta go for skin rashes. Because like there's also a group of people that intentionally don't shampoo their hair.

[Tyler]

Uhhuh.

[Jared]

And then it gets greasy for a while but then your body stops producing so much oil. Correct. And then therefore you just don't ever have to wash your hair as. Or like once a month or something. Yep. Because you're not producing as much oil.

[Miles]

I didn't know that.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

There's like a group of people that like don't wash their hair intentionally because it's supposed to be better for you.

[Ryan]

You can still wipe your ass, can't you?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Because. Okay. Because it does say also if you have a bidet, you have to stop using. Using it for the time being. So wiping your ass is still.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we're not leaving cheeks.

[Ryan]

No.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's a bridge too far.

[Ryan]

You just. Now you just can't shower, Shave. You just gotta and shave.

[Tyler]

Dude, I think I could go a couple months.

[Jared]

You can go 60 days.

[Ryan]

Yeah, dude, I think. I think I.

[Jared]

60 days for what? 350 grand.

[Tyler]

No, more than that.

[Jared]

$3.5 million. Yeah, no. $3 million regardless.

[Ryan]

3 million.

[Tyler]

I. I could do. I could do two months.

[Jared]

I could. I could do two months. And one day I was gonna say.

[Ryan]

I think I could go a year.

[Miles]

A year?

[Tyler]

Year.

[Ryan]

I mean, if someone's got an issue. You saw some 50k from that day.

[Jared]

That's true.

[Tyler]

You saw some 500 bucks and they'll stop.

[Ryan]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jared]

Yeah. I mean, if you go. Jared, calculator, please. Calculator. If you go 365 days times that, times 50k. Yeah. I mean, you're set for life.

[Tyler]

$20 million. Damn near for a year of. Of this.

[Ryan]

It's so worth it.

[Tyler]

So worth it.

[Miles]

You can do half a year and still be okay.

[Jared]

Tax free, too.

[Miles]

Tax free.

[Tyler]

Tax free.

[Jared]

Pump that in the s and P500. In seven years, it's 36. $37 million, something like that. 36.5. And then after that, $72 million. And all of a sudden you're just generational wealth.

[Tyler]

That's perfect. If you get fired for being the stinky guy guy, it says you don't have to go back to the workplace to continue your normal life.

[Jared]

So then I'm in a part because I can't really get fired.

[Tyler]

Yeah. But for 50k a day, you could just shut the company down and be just fine.

[Jared]

Yeah. I mean, you guys would all quit, you know, because it'd be so smelly.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Then I just come here by myself.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you could just make a YouTube series about not showering for a year.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's not a bad idea, actually. We got just can contract Covid too. Where we lose our sense of smell.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

We potentially get Covid.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Just want not to smell. Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah, I think. I don't know if a year's a long time.

[Ryan]

I know, but I feel like once you get past two months, then it's like.

[Tyler]

You're right. You're. You're 100.

[Jared]

All right, so we can all commit to a year. Yeah, let's all commit to a year. Let's start right now.

[Tyler]

If this was act. If someone was handing me 50 grand a day, I think everyone in my life would understand for sure.

[Ryan]

It's one year.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Some weird Guy with a fetish told me to do this.

[Tyler]

Yeah, dude, really?

[Jared]

Some really rich guy with a fetish?

[Tyler]

Honestly, it's fine. He. He can be cranking to my stank for 50k a day.

[Ryan]

Same.

[Tyler]

I don't care.

[Ryan]

Me either.

[Jared]

Cranking to stank. It's great band name you.

[Ryan]

My 21 inch Craftsmans. I could buy with 18.25 million.

[Tyler]

So many. And you could replace all the wheels every week if you want. Wanted.

[Ryan]

I could just open a shop where I just give out 21 inch Craftsmans. Craftsmans for free to people who need them.

[Jared]

Yeah. For me, it wouldn't be about, like, how long can it go? It's like, what number makes sense?

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

That is motivating enough, right? You know? Yep. In a year, I mean, $18 million is. You're set for life. So. Yeah, I'll do a year.

[Tyler]

Do you hear?

[Jared]

Because, like, if you're like, all right, I'm just doing this for a year. Everyone can get on board. Yeah, there's gonna be some tough parts, but, like, they're just gonna deal with it. Yeah. There's people now that are just smelly people that we all deal with anyways.

[Tyler]

That shower every day.

[Jared]

The shower every day are still stinky. They. People just deal with them. So for one year, people can deal with.

[Tyler]

Right. Like you might have to be in a side room on Christmas. One year of your life. Oh, no.

[Jared]

Yeah. What if.

[Miles]

What if you go to, like, a wedding or something?

[Jared]

Sit in the back.

[Tyler]

Sorry. Yeah, you sit. Sit downwind from everybody and then bounce when the ceremony is over.

[Jared]

Well, you do the. The psycho dad move at a basketball game. You stand like, way in the back.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

Up against the wall.

[Ryan]

You could just get by a bunch of scentlock gear, too. Like that bow hunters wear.

[Jared]

That's a loop hole.

[Miles]

No loopholes.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Jared]

That's a loophole.

[Tyler]

It says regular life. I'd be all right in the fall. I spray myself down with that stuff regularly.

[Jared]

That's true. That is a good point. That's not a loophole.

[Miles]

Gotta hope it's a fall wedding.

[Tyler]

So I just gotta hunt every day, and then I can use my scent eliminator.

[Jared]

Now, like, for me, going on an airplane.

[Tyler]

Tough stinky guy on the airplane.

[Jared]

You just have to, like, buy, like, five rows. I mean, you're making $50,000 a day.

[Tyler]

Get a PJ.

[Jared]

Just get a. Yeah, get a P. Get.

[Tyler]

Problem solved.

[Jared]

Yep. There we go.

[Ryan]

And if. I mean, someone is going to want to fly you if the. If there's pilots out there. Like this guy stinks too.

[Jared]

Well, they'll just close the cockpit door. Yeah. Boom.

[Tyler]

The filtration systems and they're awesome.

[Ryan]

It's not like you can't wear Old Spice. Yeah, you can wear Old Spice.

[Miles]

Ax whatever Bod or put give people that the mix rub to rub under their nose.

[Tyler]

So.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

And then that out. It's like a party favor. Everyone you meet.

[Tyler]

You just smell menthol and bo.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's better than just bo.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Kind of a fun hyper.

[Jared]

What about you, Jared?

[Miles]

How long I could go realistically probably two months.

[Jared]

Yeah, I'm either. I feel like I'm either like making it three weeks or I'm going the distance.

[Ryan]

Yeah, me too.

[Tyler]

Because there's going to be a hump. Like Ryan said the two month hump. Like once you get over whatever the hump ends up being, you're just. It's not going to get any worse, you know?

[Miles]

And that first shower is going to feel so good.

[Jared]

I feel like it's gonna hurt. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Or it's gonna like your skin's gonna fall off. It's not used to it.

[Jared]

Yeah. The first time you soap, you know, it's like when you're like hands are freezing cold from being outside and then you go take a hot shower and then they just sting. It's gonna be like that.

[Tyler]

You have to. Our first shower have to be with babies soap. Because it's like gentle and chemical. Free.

[Miles]

Shop shower.

[Jared]

Wait, you guys don't just use baby soap in general?

[Tyler]

No, I should start.

[Jared]

It's nice because it's an all in one. It's using my hair, my body, you know, conditioner inside. Yeah, it's got conditioner and I'm pretty sure also I love how this guy, how in depth he's gone and setting rules for it.

[Tyler]

I do like that too actually.

[Jared]

It's like if you're going to pose a hypothetical medical Give us. Give us the whole shebang here. I want to know what game I'm playing.

[Tyler]

I think I might now be a no loopholes guy because this was fun.

[Ryan]

Still kind of found some loopholes though. Sandlock.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's not a loophole. If I'm he. He laid down the ground rules of you get to continue your normal life.

[Jared]

Yeah, but you can't use it. If you're going to work, you gotta be.

[Tyler]

I know. I go from going hunting.

[Ryan]

You could just get a new job too. You could go work at like a turkey farm or something.

[Jared]

You gotta work your same job.

[Tyler]

Until Miles fire me. I Would pay miles to fire me. Maybe.

[Miles]

Eric Falkenberg. NHL preseason just started. If you were picked out of the crowd to be the emergency goalie and face 10 shots, how many would you stop?

[Jared]

10 shots? What kind of shots are we talking? We need. We need more info. Because it's like, let's think this.

[Tyler]

Penalties, penalties. Just make it easy on ourselves. Penalty shots, goalie versus skater. That's it.

[Jared]

Oh, I'm stopping. Zero on a penalty shot.

[Ryan]

The only shot I'm stopping is if it hits a crossbar.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

As if he misses.

[Tyler]

It's got to be an accident. Like.

[Jared]

But if it's in the heat of the moment and they're taking, like, a slap shot from close to the blue line, I give. I get just more distance apart. I give myself a better chance.

[Ryan]

For sure. Yeah.

[Jared]

So if it's in a normal game, I'm giving myself at least one shot. I'm blocking.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I think. I think, honestly, if it's a. If it is in the heat of the moment, like, there's a pile up in front of you, I would stop. Probably two deflections, three deflections. It wouldn't be because I'm good at it. It's because my body's in the right spot.

[Jared]

Yeah. And then all of a sudden, you let. You stop three. Let seven in. I mean, NHL goalies let seven in.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Out of, like, 60 shots.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

How hard could it be?

[Jared]

Seven times six is what, 42. 42. 42. Rip. Your team loses.

[Ryan]

Yeah, but the more goals they go up by, like, the more the. You know, all the third and fourth liners are gonna get into the game.

[Tyler]

So also, what team am I playing on? Do I have a awesome defense? Because then I won't have to block as many.

[Jared]

That's why you only have 10 shots on goal.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

If I'm. If. If it's like penalty shots, I'm just gonna. Oh, that would work for the first one. I'm just gonna throw my stick out there. Like, when they're at least expecting it, I'll just slide my stick at them.

[Jared]

Is that even legal?

[Tyler]

No.

[Ryan]

I have no idea. Either trip them up or you. You know, that's called sticking. Okay.

[Tyler]

If you hit them in their legs, they just get a tripping call and they get it.

[Ryan]

Probably get another penalty shot.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

I don't know if anyone's ever done that.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Because usually they get a penalty shot because they were, like, tripped on a shot on goal. So then if you do another. Another trip during the Penalty shot. What happened?

[Jared]

That's something I've never done in my life. Life is attempt to play goalie.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah.

[Jared]

Like. Like when I was a kid before you play football, I played soccer. So like we would play goalie then. So I put goalie there. But like hockey, like, I've obviously shot pucks. I've skated, done all that. But I would. It would be kind of fun one time to just throw on all the goalie pads, get in that and just see if he can stop.

[Ryan]

I agree. I agree.

[Jared]

I just. It's something that I've never ever attempted.

[Miles]

Same bucket, bucket list.

[Tyler]

I mean, I've done it playing boot hockey or pond hockey before.

[Jared]

No full gear?

[Tyler]

Never. Never full gear. Nope.

[Ryan]

I think what I do is I just plant my. I would just like, I take up like one side of the net, the non glove side, and I would just. I. I would just have my glove on the glove. I. I would make them make a shot to my glove side so you know what side of the net they're going to shoot on.

[Tyler]

Then they five. All you.

[Ryan]

That's the thing. These guys are so good.

[Miles]

You don't have the goalie body. Ryan either. You know, goalie body.

[Ryan]

See, goalies aren't that big though.

[Tyler]

It's also like a slap shot. It's like over 100 miles an hour.

[Jared]

I know, I know. So it's like it. You just see him wind up and it's kind of like. Don't like soccer goalies. They just kind of guess.

[Tyler]

Yep. Pick a side.

[Jared]

Like you could guess right. 30% of the time. Right.

[Tyler]

You just hope you're getting the way of it.

[Miles]

How are gonna be.

[Jared]

How are gonna be the guess?

[Tyler]

That's what I mean. Like, I'm not making any stick saves or glove saves. Like the only saves I'm making, if I take it off the chest because my body's in the right spot.

[Ryan]

I might just squat down like a catcher.

[Jared]

That's kind of how they do it.

[Ryan]

Top shelf. But I wouldn't move. I wouldn't like, be like sliding back and forth. I would just sit in the middle. Just like catcher. Boom. Right here. It's like a catching a fastball.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You got a guy on the mountain who's throwing 90, but he's all over the place. And it's kind of like, like a.

[Jared]

Also I try and do the splits one time. Oh. And I'm. I'm on the ir.

[Ryan]

You're stuck. You're stuck in splits position.

[Jared]

Yeah, they have to slide me off the ice while I'm stuck in splits position.

[Ryan]

And then he just, he just buries one right in your cup. Shatters the cup.

[Jared]

Oh, that would hurt all.

[Ryan]

Oh my God.

[Jared]

I love when a goalie ends up on his side too.

[Tyler]

It is sweet.

[Jared]

Like he's here that way and then he just dives sideways.

[Tyler]

It's the best. It's only cool though when they make the save. Yeah, it's not cool. And they go on their side and they just plop it over.

[Miles]

Yeah, they're just playing around the ice.

[Tyler]

What they doing?

[Jared]

Get up. Yeah, like if you eliminated everyone else and just watch the goalie do stuff. Be pretty funny.

[Miles]

Just playing around doing cartwheels. One fun fact. The distinctive smell of old books is primarily caused by the degradate degradation.

[Ryan]

Degradation.

[Miles]

Degradation of L I G N I n Linen. Linen. A polymer and paper that breaks down into volatile organic compounds giving off a sweet vanilla. A scent like scent. The scent profile of Asian books varies by era and region due to differences in paper composition. For example, books from the 19th century made with rosin sized paper often emit a more almond like aroma. Bibliomia is the love of the spell of books. It has inspired niche industries with perfumers creating candles and fragrances that mimic the scent of age paint paper such as dead writers blend or library scented products.

[Ryan]

Interesting.

[Jared]

What era of books is your favorite scent?

[Ryan]

Canon era.

[Tyler]

Probably this is a unique era to like, but the early 2000s. Oh yeah, yeah. Early 2000s. It's a real niche scent because books weren't very high right there. That was a time where people were kind of out on books and now we're seeing a resurgence. So that's a unique scent. So I like the early 2000s.

[Jared]

Nice. Yep. Oh yeah. This the. I don't. I. I feel like there's some books where the scent is just musty. Like why, you know, you're a kid, you go to the library and you check out books from the light. It was just musty. Yeah. I never smelled like mold.

[Miles]

Yeah, you know, it grosses me out.

[Jared]

What are they getting? This vanilla, sweet vanilla smell.

[Ryan]

It's just like when they, when you'd like try a new wine and someone who's like an aficionado and wine is like, oh, you should be tasting like a, a hint of mint or oliver dirt or whatever. It's like, you know, I'm not tasting any of that, nor am I smelling vanilla or all.

[Jared]

Now if, if we, if we did like different eras of books, we all got to take a sniff of Each one we'd probably be able to tell the difference.

[Ryan]

Probably. Yeah. I guess it's a lot like wine region matters.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I imagine the club that does this, you know, they said there's like a niche group of people that like, they're just called the book. Book. Book sniffers.

[Miles]

The bookworms.

[Tyler]

They always got their nose in a book.

[Ryan]

Sniffers.

[Jared]

Roll, sniff, sniff, pass.

[Ryan]

Sniffy, Peanut butter.

[Jared]

That was more of a random fact than a fun fact. I couldn't. Where'd you. How'd you stumble upon that random.

[Miles]

I usually type into Google, like give me five obscure fun facts and then I thumb through them all.

[Jared]

So now every time Tyler brings up a book, we need you to tell us what scent the book has.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I have a whole scent profile ready to go.

[Jared]

Okay, good.

[Tyler]

Yeah. What do I do for the audiobooks I'm listening to?

[Miles]

Yeah, that's what the iPhone smells like.

[Tyler]

What is the inside of my car smell?

[Jared]

I had pancakes for breakfast. It smells like maple. Maple syrup.

[Tyler]

I haven't showered in 245 days, so that's what that smells like.

[Ryan]

Smells like my nuts.

[Miles]

It's a bit nutty.

[Jared]

Well, is that it, Jiren?

[Miles]

Yep.

[Jared]

Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of you Bet your radio podcast. Have a great week. We'll see you in the next one. Oh, you betcha. Yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

Early in the day, do you start drinking on vacation?

[Jared]

I don't drink anymore.

[Tyler]

Right after breakfast.

[Jared]

Yeah, I'm not. I like to have breakfast before I have my first drink. Usually kind of have to. Yeah.

[Tyler]

And on vacation it's more brunch. So it's like right around 11 or noonish.

[Jared]

Yeah. I mean, if I'm with like buddies though, I'll have it pretty much after I wake up.

[Ryan]

Up after you brush.

[Jared]

9:00Am yeah.

[Ryan]

You'll have with the liquor.

[Jared]

Yeah. Or maybe.

[Tyler]

Irish coffee.

[Miles]

Mimosa.

[Jared]

Orange Vod juice. Orange Vod Vod juice. It's a drink, right? Love one of those. Maybe.

[Ryan]

Clue. I usually like to like.

[Jared]

He knows that that's what it's from.

[Ryan]

What?

[Jared]

It's so funny. He like any reference he doesn't get. He know it's from the office. Office, but. So he doesn't know where the reference is from. But he does know where the references are from.

[Ryan]

I didn't know where that one is from. I'd never heard you say that.

[Jared]

Orange VOD juice.

[Miles]

Yeah, you've said that quite a bit.

[Jared]

It's just a drink. That's orange juice and vodka. It's pretty Good.

[Ryan]

Sure. Understandable. I just like to hit a CrossFit class followed by so until I'm done with all that. And then like the pool yoga with.

[Miles]

The short instructor and then a tough mudder or whatever.

[Ryan]

No, not on vacation usually, because that's.

[Jared]

I forgot about your tough mudder for phase. It wasn't the phase, dad.

[Ryan]

Yeah, so I like to usually hit one of those and then.

[Jared]

Do you want to do a tough mutter before his wedding?

[Ryan]

We could do a tough mutter during his wedding.

[Jared]

That would actually be electric, content. If me and Ryan did a tough mutter together.

[Ryan]

That would be really good.

[Tyler]

It would be funny.

[Ryan]

Imagine if you. You and I just ran through the ceremony, shirts off, shorts on, shirts covered in mud, straight across the ceremony, right past you.

[Jared]

Is that one of the obstacles is avoiding the bride?

[Ryan]

Yes. We could throw that in there.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's with. We should do a real life tough mudder. Things like that. Not. Not necessarily actually getting all muddy and dirty, but just difficult things.

[Ryan]

It's actually kind of fun. Yeah, it is kind of fun.

[Jared]

Yeah. Like one of the stages. You have to balance your checkbook.

[Tyler]

50% of contestants usually drop out here.

[Jared]

This is where you really see them drop off here, Jeff. See if they can push through.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you have to call in and pay your credit card off instead of doing online. That'd be good.

[Jared]

Let's do that. Okay. What else you got?

[Miles]

Luke Fraley asks while on vacation, do you want the ball and chain to plan everything or go with the floor flow?

[Tyler]

Wait, is he asking does she go with the flow, meaning we have to plan or.

[Ryan]

No, no, it's just a full go with the flow, both sides.

[Miles]

Do you prefer. Do you like. If they plan a bunch of.

[Jared]

I like them to plan like two things. Let's say it's a week long vacation. A couple dinners or something would be nice. But other than that, the only other thing getting scheduled is golf. Yeah, gotcha.

[Tyler]

You could.

[Miles]

Oh, they're flying the bottom building.

[Jared]

I caught that.

[Tyler]

I like having one. One planned thing per day?

[Ryan]

No.

[Jared]

And what would that be?

[Tyler]

Waking up when I get my first orange vod juice.

[Jared]

God.

[Ryan]

CrossFit gym.

[Jared]

No matter how this goes down, you guys want to have some orange vod juice?

[Tyler]

I kind of do.

[Ryan]

Really? I'm. I'm out. I don't drink anymore.

[Tyler]

Okay, I'm out.

[Ryan]

I'm with you though.

[Tyler]

I'll drink alone.

[Ryan]

If it's a week long vacation, two, maybe three activities outside side of wherever we're staying, one a day is like. Then you can't really get comfortable sitting around. They don't have to be big or.

[Tyler]

Anything, but like maybe like plan what.

[Ryan]

You'Re gonna order at the bar the next time.

[Tyler]

Not quite.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

But like dinner I think is a small thing. Like having a dinner plan in a day counts. Like knowing where you're gonna go get a reservation.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

But then like two or three big ass events for the whole.

[Ryan]

Like you gotta hop on it.

[Jared]

On a two or three big ass events is like that's a lot of of planning. Yeah. Like what are two. What are big events?

[Tyler]

Depends on the vacation. Like we're in Nashville. Like a show or something. Or like a concert.

[Jared]

Going to the Broadway.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Be a big deal.

[Ryan]

I went to the Dole Plantation when I went to Hawaii.

[Tyler]

What's that?

[Ryan]

The doll.

[Jared]

Like the fruit place? Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Sweet.

[Tyler]

Did you get some fruit cups?

[Miles]

Good one, right?

[Ryan]

It was sweet. So that was an all day thing.

[Tyler]

Like a surfing lesson would be a big event. Like because that's going to take a big ass chunk of time.

[Miles]

Snorkeling.

[Jared]

Yeah, I'm not doing any of that.

[Tyler]

Maybe snorkel for sure.

[Ryan]

Maybe a sunset. Catamaran.

[Jared]

What's a catamaran? That's not a big. That's pretty.

[Ryan]

Just a boat you hop on usually.

[Jared]

Go.

[Ryan]

Go have like dinner somewhere. Free drinks on the way there.

[Jared]

Nice.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's a good time.

[Jared]

You see the sun set over the ocean?

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Like a hike.

[Jared]

Miles doesn't work as good when you're on. On the east side side of the. Of the like Mexico doesn't work as good.

[Miles]

Yeah. It goes out of the other way.

[Ryan]

You do have a fair point there.

[Miles]

Let's go to the west side next time.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

West side.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Ryan, I feel like you're good at vacations. You like just like plan it all and everything.

[Ryan]

I don't plan anything. Oh yeah. My wife is way better and we don't plan a whole lot of stuff.

[Jared]

We just. What can she do? She doesn't.

[Ryan]

She can give birth.

[Jared]

Yeah. I asked you what you can't do.

[Ryan]

Well, she can do that.

[Tyler]

Can't be standing up.

[Jared]

No, she probably.

[Tyler]

She probably could figure it out.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Guys, that was a preview from our Patreon podcast. We're putting out new Patreon episodes every single week on top of our regular you bet your radio episodes. So if you subscribe, you get two, you bet your radio episodes a week. All you got to do is go to patreon.com you betcha radio. Sign on up and you have access to hours and hours of extra content, and we're putting out new stuff every single week, so go check it out. And cheers.