Worst Things To Hear From Your Wife 🎙 #351

Summary

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Podcast Summary: You Betcha Radio — "Worst Things To Hear From Your Wife" (#351)

Release Date: November 5, 2025
Hosts: Myles (“You Betcha Guy”), Ryan, Tyler, Jerrod

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Main Theme

This episode dives into the "worst things to hear from your wife," blending relatable Midwest dad humor with deep dives into domestic life and “man culture.” As always, the crew brings an off-the-cuff, conversational style, riffing on texts, household chores, communication missteps, and the joys—and pitfalls—of family routines.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Relatable Marital “Uh-oh” Moments

• Forgetting Family Plans & the Dreaded Texts
  • Myles opens with a story about missing his haircut appointment, triggered by his wife’s text: “Are you coming?”. The guys banter about the anxiety induced by these types of messages, riffing on how easily your vibe can be ruined by realizing you've forgotten something important.
    • “It was the worst because I get a text from Anne and it just says, ‘are you coming?’ That’s just a terrible text message to get from your wife…” — Myles (00:41)
• The Horror of Forgotten Chores
  • The group riff on the classic “Did you take the chicken out to defrost?” and “Did you throw the laundry in the dryer?” texts, noting that forgetting leads to frantic hot water defrost or microwave rescue missions.
  • “You might as well just… we’re having frozen chicken because I did not take it out. You’re in the driveway. We’re at this point.” — Tyler (06:13)
• Plans You Didn’t Know Existed
  • Discussing when your wife asks, “So, you excited for our plans this weekend?” and you didn’t even know about them. The crew trades strategies for trying to figure out what’s going on without revealing their ignorance.

2. Requests and Household Project Traps

• The ‘We Have a Project’ Setup
  • The crew laughs about how “I have a project for us this weekend” or “Where are the power tools?” is code for you being volunteered against your will for work.
  • “Anytime she starts saying ‘we, us’ you know that it’s going to be you and me, one whenever project.” — Myles (04:09)
• Pinterest & Unrealistic DIY Expectations
  • The dreaded “I saw this on Pinterest—can you make it?” moment, especially when it involves cabinetry or complex handiwork.
  • Assembling IKEA furniture and the universal refusal to consult instructions become a running gag.

3. Parental Burnout & Chore Warfare

• Solo Parenting Announcements
  • When the wife says, “I’ll be out of town this weekend,” and you’re suddenly solo with the kids.
  • “One kid is easy, but as soon as you start throwing a two or a three in there, it gets messy.” — Myles (11:34)
• Post-Bed Chore Requests
  • Cringe-worthy asks right as you’re getting comfortable: “Can you get me a water?” or “Did you check if the doors are locked?”

4. Losing Solo Time: Hunting, Golf, and TV Battles

• Time-Constraint Language
  • The nuance between “What time will you be back?” vs. “What time can you be back?”—the latter is a dead giveaway you’re on your wife’s schedule, not your own.
  • “What time can you be back? Then you’re like, all right, I’m apparently on a timetable here.” — Myles (07:33)
• TV Takeover
  • The classic: “Guess what’s on tonight?” (It’s never what you want to watch, but you get invested anyway.)

5. Travel, Eating, and Decision Fatigue

• Cheap Flight Temptations
  • When wives suggest spontaneous trips because of advertised cheap flights, regardless of practicality.
• The “I Don’t Care—You Decide” Game
  • The pain of “I don’t care. Where we eat is another one.”

6. Household Rearrangement and Cleanliness

• Unannounced Room Rearranging
  • Finding your living room shifted without warning, or the unusual “I reorganized your dresser.”
• Sheet and Couch Chores
  • Dread of the “I washed the sheets” announcement as you prepare to go to bed.
  • Discussing strategies to keep under the couch and under car seats clean, with plenty of self-aware jokes about parenthood failings.

7. Gas Tank Gambits & Rewards Programs

• Wife’s Car Is Always on Empty
  • The resigned acceptance of always having to fill up the wife's car, and the allure of getting your own gas tank.
• The Joy of Gas Stations
  • Midwest gas station routines become rituals—coffee runs, breakfast sandwiches, the “Quick Trip” allure.
  • “It’s almost like an addictive thing for me. I don’t need to stop at the gas station, but I just…” — Tyler (30:44)
• The Dorky Thrill of Rewards Cards
  • The older you get, the more excited you get about wallet punch cards and gas station rewards.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If she says, ‘Just a good attitude,’ you’re like: Ah, no, that…that gives you a hint that whatever you’re going to is gonna suck.” — Tyler (03:23)
• “IKEA instructions? You might as well just throw those away. You might as well just eyeball the entire project at that point.” — Jerrod (05:07)
• “Hearing nothing from your wife... just a K. That is scary.” — Ryan (08:07)
• “I washed the sheets today, so we still got to put the sheets on the bed… But then after it’s done, you’re like, fresh sheets are elite, dude.” — Myles (21:21)
• “Guess what’s on tonight? It’s never a show that you want to watch. Can guarantee that.” — Myles (10:30)

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Segment Highlights & Timestamps

[00:41] — Myles’ Haircut Miss and “Are You Coming?”: The Worst Text

[02:19] — The Verbal Gymnastics of Discovering Forgotten Plans

[03:30] — Decoding “Just a Good Attitude” and Wife Project Management

[04:55] — “I’ve Got a Project for Us” & Pinterest DIY Guilt-Tripping

[05:53] — Chore Texts ("Did You Defrost the Chicken?") & Domestic Panic

[07:33] — Language Analysis: “Can” vs. “Will” in Wifely Time Pressure

[08:07] — Silence & Single-“K” Responses: The True Red Flag

[09:11 & 09:21] — Sneak Attack Bedtime Tasks: Water and Door Locks

[11:34] — Sudden Solo Parenting Assignments

[13:10+] — The Crew’s Price Picks Sports Betting Segment

[25:15+] — “Things I Hate to Hear from My Wife” & Relatable Listener Stories

[35:47+] — The Podcast’s Running “Hotel Key Card” Gag

[43:14+] — Segments: “Translating White Collar Phrases to Blue Collar”

Lightning-round translation of office jargon into field vernacular with classic Midwestern wit.

• “Streamlining operations” => ‘Dave got another Dewey, so he won’t be here today. So we’re gonna be a man down.’ (43:58)
• “We’re building synergy” => ‘You guys want to get beers on Friday?’ (45:41)

[51:18+] — Game Segment: “Category Wars (Cat-a-waries)”

Round robin naming things in categories: classic group banter, rapid-fire Midwest association game, plenty of technicality controversies and ribbing.

[77:49] — Fun Fact Segment: “Big Candy Changed Daylight Savings”

Everyone is floored by the revelation that the candy industry lobbied to shift daylight savings for more lucrative Halloween evenings.

• “Big candy moved daylight savings.” — Myles (78:32)

[80:28+] — Listener Story: Laughing at Grandpa's Funeral

Discussion on bringing levity even to somber occasions—a kid chuckles at a funeral, thinking about concrete statues and making his mom mad. They close with heartfelt Midwest philosophy: “If I know anything about grandpas, it’s they want more laughter at their funerals than tears anyway.” (84:44)

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Tone & Language

The show maintains its signature blend of:

• Midwest self-deprecation and neighborly wisdom
• Dad-level, observational humor
• Rapid-fire riffing with layered references (e.g., sports, hunting, grilling, parenting woes)
• Relatable anecdotes and friendly jabs between hosts

Quotes are delivered in a conversational, off-the-cuff tone, making every moment feel like you’re at the bar—or out in the garage—with your longtime buddies.

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Conclusion & Takeaways

Listeners come away feeling both reassured and amused by how universal these “worst things to hear from your wife” are in dad and family life. The episode is packed with laugh-out-loud anecdotes, running gags, relatable frustrations, and the kind of tongue-in-cheek banter that has made You Betcha Radio a staple for fans of man-culture and Midwest living.

If you missed the episode, this summary and notable moments have you covered—no need to check your calendar, reheat the chicken, or fear the “K” text from your significant other.

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Transcript

[A]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the you Bet your radio podcast. The boys are here. We're live. We're ready to rock and roll.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Ryan's feeling good. Last week after the podcast, I did a little bit of a blunder, though, and I had a haircut scheduled and I just forgot. Oh, yeah, it was just. I ended up getting a haircut last week, but just felt like a dumbass. It kind of sucked because my kid was getting his hair cut before me, so I was gonna show up. He's like, what the hell are you doing here? I know that guy. Oh, my.

[B]

Hey.

[A]

They just let anyone in here and. Yeah, I just forgot. And I didn't even have anything going on. I was just kind of putzing around at the office, you know, looking at some emails, doing nothing too. And it was the worst because I get a text from Anne and it just says, are you coming? I'm going to get. And that's just a terrible text message to get to your. To get from your wife when you are currently in the state of mind of, I'm chilling because you forgot something.

[C]

Well, yeah, it couldn't reverse your chilling mood any faster.

[A]

Yeah. And then you're just like, ah. And then you feel bad and then you got to reschedule. It's a whole thing. But got me thinking about, what are the worst things to hear from your wife? And I think, are you coming? It's. It can be great double. Can be terrible, can be both. But in the same vein of that, you know, you're at the climax of your week and you're. You're feeling good and your wife says, so you excited for our plans this weekend? And you don't know you got plans.

[D]

You're just sitting there scrambling, like, what plan? Do you check every calendar?

[A]

Yeah. You're doing the insert spongebob meme of him trying to remember his name after he's told to forget everything but fine dining. It's a verbal meme, Jared. You'll find it's good.

[C]

Yeah, I think there's always a way out of that, though. You just gotta kind of start asking small questions about those plans to ultimately get to what you're actually going to be doing. Yeah. First he was like, yeah, yeah, what. What time were we gonna head over there again? And then you get that. And then, yeah, that.

[A]

That's what we got going on. I knew there was so anything special gonna happen while we're there? And then she'll reveal what it is, right? Be like, oh, yeah, kid's gonna Ride the hay ride. Oh, we're going to the pumpkin patch.

[C]

Yeah, the P patch.

[A]

Anything special going on or you ask what to wear? Well, we're going to stop and get an Orange Julius while we're at the mall, and you're like, boom, we're doing Santa photos. Got it.

[C]

Santa. Santa, Easter, anything like that?

[D]

Yeah, you got. I. I'll pull movies. Like, are we supposed to bring anything? Yeah. And then if she says yes, then. Then what leads you to where you're going?

[C]

Yeah, what if she's like, pen and paper. You're like, does that get me here? You're going to the courthouse file or what?

[D]

Taking a class here by taking notes.

[A]

Then you're screwed, though. If she goes, just a good attitude. You're like, ah, no, that.

[D]

That gives you a hint that whatever you're going to is gonna suck.

[A]

Yeah. So then you gotta bring a good attitude. That's right. Everything's a data point. I think another thing that you don't want to hear from your wife is where are the power tools?

[D]

She's up to no good.

[A]

Or possibly I'm gonna hang some picture frames while you're at work. They're just. Those picture frames are not gonna be center.

[D]

Nope.

[A]

They're not gonna have any sort of arrangement whatsoever. It's just an eyeball job from the wife.

[B]

Can't slam any doors.

[A]

No.

[D]

Again, in the same vein as the pictures, you don't ever want to hear, I've got a project for us this weekend.

[A]

Yeah. For us.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Anytime she starts saying we, us, you know that it's going to be you and me, one whenever project.

[C]

And we is in the same sentence. Like it. It's never going to end. Good.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You're the project. Myself.

[D]

Yeah. She's the project manager. And we are the grunts.

[B]

W. Upside down.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You don't want to hear. So I've been on Pinterest lately. Oh, God, here we go again.

[D]

I saw these cupboards on Pinterest. Think you could make them? That's an actual phrase that I heard. Oh, I. I'm not. I don't do cabinetry.

[A]

Cabinetry is like, Definitely takes some skill, too.

[D]

Ton of skill.

[C]

Well, another thing I don't want to hear from my wife either is like, hey, would you want to put this together this weekend? Because number one, if something's not in the garage, I know it's on the way. Number two, it's probably from, I don't know, IKEA or somewhere. And I know that's going to be at Least half day, if not three, quarter day.

[B]

And she says she threw in the instructions away.

[C]

Yeah. And IKEA instructions. You might as well just throw those away. You might as well just eyeball the entire project at that point. It's like a dad who refuses to ask for directions when he's going somewhere. I just. I'm gonna refuse to read the directions for an IKEA project. Exactly. Yeah.

[A]

I'm a picture book.

[C]

Refuse to look at the pictures on there and even attempt to understand it.

[B]

Nightmare.

[D]

I think IKEA furniture would be a good project to pass off on your kids because they read picture books all the time.

[A]

That's right.

[C]

They like building stuff.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And however it turns out is how it turns out. Hey, honey. I'm teaching him life lessons. I understand there are some gouges in there from the hammer, and I understand half of the little dowels are broken, but what did he learn today?

[D]

Yep.

[C]

Another one of the worst things you hear from your wife is when you've just left the house and she. You get the text of like, hey, did you throw the. Did you throw the laundry in the dryer?

[D]

Dude, I was just thinking. I. This happens to me once a month.

[C]

Me, too. Tyler.

[D]

It was very similar to the laundry. It's like, did you take that chicken out to defrost?

[C]

Oh, dude, I never.

[D]

I never remember ever. You might as well just. Just. We're having frozen chicken because I did not take it out. You're in the driveway. We're at this point.

[A]

I know you're not supposed to run hot water to defrost it, but that's what we're doing.

[C]

That's the move.

[A]

That's what we're doing. Put it in the microwave.

[C]

Yeah. Microwave, hot water, scorching hot water. Go down to the water heater, flip it all the way until the hottest it can go, and run that water 240 degrees.

[D]

Crank it to the right.

[C]

Yes. Just don't forget to turn it back down.

[B]

Just a sous vide or whatever.

[C]

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. Sous vide.

[D]

Medium rare, Chickens frozen in the middle.

[C]

Yeah. I had to do the whole microwave defrost thing last week. That wasn't fun. I mean, because even after, like, 10, 15 minutes, it was still frozen in the middle.

[B]

Your battles with microwaves continue.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

A question that I've gotten before, and it's usually around hunting. It's like, you weren't doing. You weren't. You don't have anything planned this weekend, do you?

[A]

Yeah. If you did, you got to rethink it.

[D]

Yep. You know, typically, you weren't planning on hunting this weekend, were you? I'm like, well, not any fucking more.

[C]

Yeah. What time are you going to be back from hunting? Can you be back around 10? Well, hey, that.

[D]

Can you be back at 8:30? Well, that's kind of what I want to be in the tree the most.

[B]

Got the morning bite.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, what time can you be back? Is much different than what time will you be back? Yeah, that one word. What time can you be back? Then you're like, all right, I'm apparently on a time timetable here.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

It's tough.

[D]

You create more urgency with can you.

[A]

Do not want to hear you say what time? Can you. You don't want to hear your wife say, what time can you get back? You want to hear what time will you get back? Completely different scenario.

[D]

Very powerful word in there.

[B]

I think another one is just hearing nothing from your wife. Yeah. Yeah, that is scary. Just if you text them and they don't text back or just a K.

[A]

And they go, yeah, I mean, especially my wife. If I text my wife, if she didn't respond, my first thought actually isn't that. Isn't. She's mad at me. It's. She might be dead.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[B]

That's all possible.

[A]

My wife is quick on the. On the keyboard. Quick on the keyboard. Great band name.

[C]

Yes, it is. Mark it down.

[B]

Quick Keys.

[A]

Quick Keys.

[C]

Jared, I think, to piggyback on that too. It's like if you hear the, like the garbage bags rustling and the dishwasher clank, like, clanking around, it's like, gee, now I gotta get up and now I got to fucking do something. I sat down five minutes ago. Can I just sit down for five more minutes?

[A]

Another. Another thing. Another thing you don't want to hear from your wife as soon as you lay down in bed is, can you get me a water? Oh, yeah, can you get me a water?

[D]

One that I've been getting lately is I'll get down eventually. Did you check if the doors are locked? No, I didn't. But we live in the middle of nowhere. No one's coming over.

[A]

Yeah. Again, what are they going to do?

[C]

Yeah, I usually if my wife parks outside, I just. I end up locking her car for her, too. It's like when you leave the car, can we beep, beep. Can we just do that quick?

[D]

Yeah, you'd think.

[C]

Because then if it gets broken into that feel like it's my fault.

[D]

If it's locking, it's Broken into, then you can claim insurance. That's unlocked. I think you might get screwed.

[C]

Yeah, if it does get broken into, it just hit the locks real quick and then. God, it was locked too. And then someone broke the window.

[D]

I don't know how they got in.

[C]

Sir, why are your knuckles bloody?

[D]

What is that brick doing in the pile class, sir?

[C]

Wow, that brick, that brick inside your, your wife's vehicle is the same brick that you use on your landscape.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Weird.

[B]

No, it's like who threw this car battery through this window?

[C]

Well, there's fingerprints all over it. So we can get, we can get down to the bottom of this one pretty easy.

[D]

Sir, you have a security camera in your driveway.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, my fingerprints are on because I was trying to piece it back together to see damage and yeah, it's the who. You know, flustered right now.

[A]

I think another thing I hate hearing from my wife is guess what's on tonight? It's never a show that you want to watch. Can guarantee that.

[C]

It's Tuesday, dancing.

[D]

See what Carlton's up to.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then five seconds later I'm into it and getting pissed about the judges scores. So.

[D]

Know Bruno says the same thing to everyone every time.

[A]

Yeah, I mean Carrie Anne right now is. She's on everyone's shit list. I saw a guy break it down. She's the most inconsistent judge by long shot.

[D]

Anyways, every show needs a Simon Cowell though.

[A]

That's true.

[C]

You never want to hear from your.

[A]

Wife is yeah, but yeah, but yeah. Anyways, I'm not gonna get into it.

[C]

That's why I try to cut you off. I know.

[A]

Thank you, Ryan.

[C]

Another thing I don't. I never want to hear from my wife is hey, I'm gonna be out. I'll be out of town this weekend. Like what do you kid's going to be doing? So those are my weekend plans now by myself. Yeah, I don't know. We're gonna.

[A]

Yeah, one kid is easy, but as soon as you start throwing a two or a three in there, it's gets messy.

[C]

Even when you have an immobile child and you have a three year old.

[D]

It's.

[C]

It's. Yeah, it's. Yeah.

[A]

Another thing you know, I want to hear from your wife is you're only playing nine, right? Oh, well that was. I'm on the t sheet for 18.

[D]

Well that's what. That's the one that gets.

[A]

Oh, you're going to play 18? Well what time can you be.

[D]

Yeah, I was just.

[A]

God, double whammy.

[D]

Golf is one that always gets paired with the what time can you be back?

[C]

Yeah, what time can you be back? Because I need the laundry thrown over into the dryer.

[D]

I need the fucking chicken defroster.

[B]

I'm not even going.

[C]

Yeah, you know what?

[A]

Oh, God, I think it's gonna rain, so it's not even worth it, I guess.

[D]

I mean, we've done this whole song and dance before, but one of the worst things you hear from your wife is, I've been thinking about chickens.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Thinking about getting chickens.

[A]

I've been thinking about doing a garden. Can you build me a garden bed?

[C]

Yep. Yeah, I got. I got apple trees on my horizon already, so.

[D]

Not me too.

[C]

A couple. Couple weeks ago, so now I gotta figure out where to put those.

[A]

You got a big apple tree. You're good.

[C]

I know.

[A]

Tuck them back by the shed.

[C]

Right now it's e. The yard's easy to mow around because ain't many trees. So now we're throwing a wrench in my. In. In the process here.

[D]

Put them on the back property line.

[C]

Yeah, that. That. That might be the move. Yeah, that would be the move.

[D]

You can also shoot deer underneath.

[A]

You got any extra. You got any extra, like, rock or anything? Because then you could just like put it on your property line and then just put it in like a rock bed and then you don't even have to worry about mowing around it.

[C]

It's a good point.

[A]

Less. Less green space for you to mow.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

A little more weed whacking, though.

[A]

It could be the move.

[C]

Okay. I like it, fellas. Keep it coming.

[D]

Yeah, I got. I've got apple trees coming as well.

[A]

All right, guys, time to play prize picks this week right now. Prize picks will give you fifty dollars in lineups. When you play your first five dollar lineup, win or lose, you get fifty bucks in lineups. You just got to use code, code YBR when you sign up.

[D]

Hell yeah.

[C]

Easy enough.

[A]

All right, so last week, Toggle week. Toggle week bit us in the ass.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I toggled up Mr. A. Chan and to 69 and a half from.

[D]

From 64.

[A]

From 64 to 69 and he got 67 yards.

[D]

Yeah, it happens.

[A]

But hey, live and die by the toggle shooter.

[C]

Shoot.

[A]

You know, passers pass. You just. You can't. You're not scared. Money don't make money, you know, Scared toggles don't make toggles. So how are you supposed to toggle up if you don't toggle? You know, you either in the huddle or you're out the huddle. But good news. We don't have any toggles this week.

[D]

Toggless.

[A]

Where the toggle lists.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Yeah, we're toggle.

[B]

We're going back to our roots.

[A]

We're going back to the roots. I did power play this, by the way.

[C]

Me too.

[D]

Nice.

[A]

Do you guys flex play it?

[D]

Of course I did. Yeah.

[A]

It's just. It's not enough. It's not enough to get me going if I don't power play it.

[C]

It's not enough juice to squeeze.

[A]

I'm here to play price picks to feel something, you know, I'm not here to just, you know, clock in and clock out.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

I'm here for impact. Right, Ryan? So this week, what do we got, Jared?

[B]

I got Jameer GIBBS More than 26 and a half receiving yards.

[A]

Love it.

[D]

Tyler never bet against BAKER More than 229 and a half pass yards.

[A]

Smart. I learned that the hard way. I got Jackson DART More than 39 and a half rush yards solely based off the fact I think he's just got to carry the whole team now that Scatter Boo is out. And last week, he did have 55 yards rushing, so.

[C]

Got a Boo Boo.

[A]

And he's looking. He's looking more and more confident every week.

[D]

And the Bear and the Bears are frauds.

[C]

So. Yeah, I got Josh allen more than 0.5 rush or receiving TDs.

[A]

It'll.

[C]

It could happen.

[A]

He's got the most games with a passing touchdown and a rushing touchdown of any quarterback ever.

[C]

My guy, right?

[B]

Cam Newton.

[A]

It's my guy, so.

[D]

All right.

[A]

This week's the week, boys. We're gonna get one to hit here.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

Also, side note, I put in a 2000 extra. It was looking good, dude. It was. I almost texted you guys at halftime to the games being like. But then I'm like, okay, don't talk about a no hitter.

[D]

That's right.

[B]

Don't talk about 2000 extra.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

First halves were great.

[A]

I think I was like, I could have won, like, 60 grand.

[D]

Yeah, it was. It was so outrageous that I flex played it. And it was the same payout as power playing.

[A]

Yeah, it was wild.

[B]

It didn't hit.

[A]

Yeah, it didn't hit, clearly. But it was. It was. It was looking good out of the gate. It was hot shooter shoot. But how are you supposed to win a 2000x or if you're on submitting 2000x or fun. So this week's my week for a 2K. Another thing I want to hear from Your wife is. Flights to Blank are only this much. I don't know if you guys get the. My wife is. Gets the vacation bug about once every three days.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Holy.

[A]

We could go here for this much.

[D]

It's over. It's a random place. Because the only place cheap flights are is the undesirable destination. Yeah.

[C]

Rancho Cucamon Mungo or something. Yeah, however you say it. We got Cuco.

[D]

We got flights to Wilmington are only 96 bucks right now.

[B]

Yeah. Fort Lauderdale, July.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Flight to Minneapolis only $89 right now. Oh, we could just drive there.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

It also cost $23 in gas.

[A]

Then my wife hits me that. But we got points, right?

[C]

Oh, yeah. Keep your paws off my points.

[A]

Well, we have a finite amount of points. We don't have unlimited points.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I would say. I don't care. Where we eat is another one.

[A]

Yeah, you don't want to hear that.

[D]

What do you think I should wear?

[B]

Yeah. Does this look good? Yeah, that's a good one.

[D]

I always. She always gives me two options, and there's always one. That's right. And I just. I refuse to answer now.

[C]

I mean, you could also just pair those together. Hey, like, how do I look? Where do you want to eat tonight?

[A]

Maybe we should start spinning back. Well, how does. How does that outfit make you feel?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Just answer with questions. I think that's the key to all this.

[C]

For sure.

[B]

Socratic method.

[A]

I think that's what it is.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Answer every question with a question. Yeah, I don't know what it's called, but, yeah, Jake probably knows what it's called.

[C]

Oh, for sure, dude.

[B]

I reorganize your dresser.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I reorganized anything.

[D]

I think we should. We should rearrange the living room.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

You do that a lot.

[A]

No, I just came home one day and the living room was rearranged. I wasn't even. She didn't even consult me the last time.

[D]

Done and done.

[B]

How'd that go over?

[A]

It actually wasn't bad. I was kind of like.

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

It's kind of looks weird now, but.

[C]

It'S fine for another couple months.

[A]

No, but it actually worked out good, because my kid just loves running around. So just open up. Opened it up.

[C]

Yeah, I think I've. I've. I think I've told this before, but when I was younger, I used to be my family's big rearrangers. My wife has never rearranged before.

[D]

Nice.

[C]

So once something is set in place, it will stay there for eternity.

[D]

That's Sick.

[C]

So since we've been together, which has been 16 years, we've never rearranged a single thing. Thank you, J.

[A]

That's crazy.

[C]

We've never rearranged single thing.

[D]

Hell yeah.

[A]

You never. You Never get, like, 2am urge to just suddenly rearrange your entire house.

[C]

Not at 2am Yeah, 2pm Sometimes on a Saturday maybe.

[D]

Right. You should this weekend, suggest it. Like, I think we should rearrange the living room. Just see what she says.

[A]

Yeah. A little fun test.

[C]

Yeah. So I. There have been nights. I'll be. I'll be like, put my kid to bed, and I'll be laying in his bed, and I could. I'm just picturing how we could rearrange this thing with how the closets open up and stuff. I don't know. I'll just gives. Give them something to look forward to. Kind of a fresh start at that point. Plus, then you can. It gives you the excuse to vacuum underneath the couch.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

That thing never gets vacuumed.

[C]

Oh, God, no. Unless you rearrange it.

[B]

I'm scared to put up my couch cushions just to see how much junk is in there.

[A]

You could just do a blind dirt devil test. Just don't look. Just shove the dirt devil thing in between it and then just.

[B]

Yeah, there's like, 10 socks in there that gets.

[D]

I can pretty confidently say we have very clean under the couch cushions because our kids spill on the cushions once every two weeks. So Becca takes the cushion covers off, washes them, vacuums the whole couch.

[A]

You might be a good candidate for a plastic couch cover. Honestly, like, everybody loves Raymond's mom, you know?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Could be.

[A]

It could be the move.

[B]

Bring it back.

[C]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure my. My kid's daycare lady has plastic on her couch.

[D]

Smart.

[C]

Yeah. No, very smart.

[A]

Another thing you.

[D]

Another thing.

[A]

You don't want to hear from me. Maybe you guys don't feel us, but I feel this. Another thing you don't want to hear from your wife is, I washed the sheets today, and so we still got to put the sheets on. We still got to put the sheets on the bed. It doesn't matter because it takes 30 seconds to do, but you're like, already. And I'm gonna jump into bed mode and all, and there's no sheets on you. Like, God damn it. But then. But then after it's done, you're like, fresh sheets are elite, dude.

[D]

They're fantastic. The worst part is when you're changing somebody else's sheets. Our boys have bunk beds And a three year old pisses the bed a lot.

[A]

Okay. And as three year olds do.

[D]

So now that changing the sheet on a top bunk.

[B]

Oh man.

[D]

Is the worst.

[C]

You have to do the. The jump.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Or the jump.

[A]

Push.

[C]

You gotta spring your knees up and then push at the same time.

[A]

Yep.

[D]

And then it's also. And then you don't get the satisfaction of sleeping on your own clean sheets. Someone else gets to sleep in clean sheets and they're just gonna piss on them anyway.

[C]

Plastic, rubber, plastic. We have.

[D]

There's a mattress protector underneath.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So at least the bedroom doesn't reek of urine.

[C]

You could go big daddy route too. Just go newspapers could.

[A]

Or you could just potty train them. $. Jesus Christ.

[D]

We're working on it.

[A]

We figure it out.

[D]

He's great when he's awake.

[A]

Yeah, I get it.

[D]

We just moved past the sleeping with the pull up on and it's. It's every three nights.

[A]

Yeah, I mean we're getting there. You gotta be worried about the homicidal triad with that.

[D]

A little bit.

[C]

What's that? What's that mean?

[D]

We talk about do this a lot.

[A]

Every month I think we go through this and every time we gotta run you through it for that don't know. Homicidal triad. So basically serial killers have three things. One is they've wet the bed as a kid or later than they should have. Two is they're obsessed with fire or arson or whatever. They like starting stuff on fire. And the third one is put a finger down if. And then the third one is cruelty to animals. Okay. Yeah, sure.

[B]

One out of three.

[C]

I just got my first raccoon trap set up this last weekend, so. Yeah, but I ain't pissing the bed though.

[D]

Okay, good. That's good.

[A]

It's good.

[B]

Oh, if you do though. Oh man.

[C]

The other night. So my. My wife got her car. Someone came over to detail her car yesterday. So on Saturday it was probably 10pm at night. And she. Then she asked me if I could help her take the car seats and all that stuff out of the vehicle. Like. Like. Sweetie, this is the last thing I want to do. I should be watching my show right now. I know it's on Netflix. I can pause it. But the show is going to end soon. I gotta get. I gotta tune in.

[D]

Sweetie. I need to watch the first half of my episode today.

[C]

Sweetie. I just need to sit down for a second.

[B]

Sweetie. Ultimate Fighter is on and there we don't.

[C]

And the rewind feature is broken on the tv. Sweetie.

[A]

Yeah. Car Taking car seats in and out. They don't tell you. They always say all this other stuff's going to be a big deal, but taking a car seat in and out is just a pain in the ass.

[D]

Oh yeah, Jared, you're worried about your couch cushions. The underneath of a car seat, it's like a petri dish.

[A]

Crumbs.

[C]

Yeah. You want to strengthen the immune system. Just sit in that seat.

[D]

Where we're talking about plastic cover stuff. Wear plastic pants.

[C]

When you sit in that seat, wear a hazmat suit.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And get a 9N95 mask desanitization station.

[D]

But.

[A]

So, yeah, those are the things that I kind of hate to hear from my wife.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Maybe next time we can do things you love to hear from your wife. We'll see.

[C]

Sweetie. I made the bed.

[A]

Yeah. Woo. We have no plans this weekend.

[D]

Come home whenever you want.

[C]

Yeah, make sure you stay out for that morning, afternoon and evening buck rut.

[A]

It's. It's perfect weather out. You might as well Golf 36 today. Yeah.

[C]

Don't worry, no laundry needs to be transferred. I did it all myself.

[D]

Except if any of us heard that, we'd all immediately, immediately panic. Be like, oh, what's wrong? Yeah, what's actually happening.

[A]

Actually do.

[C]

Sweetie, why don't you just go sit down for a little bit? You look tired.

[B]

She has so much leverage.

[D]

Is this a test? What's going on?

[A]

You're like sitting down. You're looking at her like, what's gonna happen? You sit down and airbag goes off underneath the seat through the ceiling. I knew it was something.

[C]

Get off your ass and do something.

[B]

It is April 1st.

[A]

Oh yeah. So, yeah, the class.

[C]

Sorry, one more. One thing I hate hearing from my wife is when we're about to just go drive somewhere and then as we're walking out the door, she's like, yeah, I gotta, we gotta stop and get gas.

[A]

I just. Now I'm to the point where I just assume that I'm. If I drive my wife's car, I.

[D]

Just have to get gas, build it into the plan.

[C]

Yep, yep, it's a good plan.

[A]

Now I've started being proactive too. Being like, if we are taking her car and it isn't, I'm like, should we just swing to the gas station, maybe fill it up, top her off?

[D]

Yeah, I, I just, I fill up both of our cars twice a week. Like I drive her car to work here and I make sure it's full before I give it back to her. When I. Then when I take the truck. I fill it up on Sunday before I take her car again for the week. So it's just. I'd never have to deal with it because I take care of it myself.

[C]

You might just have to get a fuel tank out there.

[A]

I should feel tank something that guy needs. Yeah. It's a cool thing to have neighbors at the lake. Growing up they had a big fucking fuel tank.

[C]

I've considered it. I won't lie.

[A]

My concern would be that I wouldn't go through all the gas fast enough.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I'd always. I'd probably buy way too big of a tank and then the gas will go bad.

[D]

And then at the lake it's perfect. You start selling it. Yeah, a lot of people with boats swing by.

[A]

Well that's also at the lake. You're going to make people buy gas that's going to expire. It's kind of sucks.

[C]

I'll just say they got water in their engine or something.

[A]

This is new. We just did it last week. I don't know why your engine's not running very good.

[C]

This is 91 Premium, my guy.

[B]

I don't know what the.

[A]

You're talking non oxygenated corn? Yeah.

[D]

Your.

[A]

Your car must need oxygen. This is non oxygenated.

[B]

Where's my 30 bucks.

[A]

Cash shaking down the neighbors?

[B]

Well, we had the idea for kids to go on a paddle boat and like sell stuff around the lake. Strap a fuel tank on that thing and fill up.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

There's no way that can go wrong.

[D]

No, no.

[A]

The way that a big wakeboat wave can come, tip it over and spill large amounts of gas into the ecosystem.

[C]

That'S contained within the lake.

[B]

It's not a river.

[D]

Just get some dawn.

[C]

It's naturally spring fed anyway, so just.

[D]

Get some dawn dish soap out there to clean all the ducklings up.

[A]

Y. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Good point. You've been. You've been driving a lot.

[D]

Well, been driving a ton.

[A]

How many. How many miles a day you put on your car?

[D]

100 and some change.

[C]

So th. 3,000 miles a month?

[D]

About. Yeah. I'm getting an oil change just about every five to six weeks. Yeah, that's because then my wife drives it when I'm working from home too.

[C]

So that sucker is going to go to 400 though.

[A]

But also kind of envy the windshield time.

[D]

I do get a lot of windshield time. I do make a lot of gas station stops.

[A]

Oh fuck. Yeah.

[D]

Now that with the time change and the fall airs here like stopping at the gas station just. Sun is rising, going in getting a cup of coffee. I went to Quick Trip this morning. Dude, got. I got breakfast, Sammy. I got a cup of coffee. And I usually don't on my morning commute stop and use the bathroom, but I was like, you know what? I'm here for a visit. I'm gonna walk around. I went up and down the aisles like I was a kid shopping.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm here for an experience.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

And I had a great time. And I wasn't the only one. The place was frigging packed. Well, that.

[A]

Cause did you stop at the Quick trip that just went up across the river?

[D]

Yep. In Morehead.

[A]

Yeah, we got a quick trip now. Just right there. So sick. It.

[D]

Honestly, it might change my morning route. I have a pretty consistent route.

[A]

That's like my route to the office doesn't take me by any gas stations. And I'm like, either I need to move or I need to take a different route.

[B]

Detour.

[D]

It's weird.

[C]

It's like almost like I'll take a 10 mile detour. Just.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

It's almost like an addictive thing for me. Like I'll be driving by, like, I don't need to stop at the gas station, but I just.

[A]

But you can always get something. Yeah. You drive by a quick trip.

[C]

There's.

[A]

There's no reason why you can't grab something.

[B]

Well.

[D]

And you go there for food, but you're like, ah, I just want this sandwich. But who's going to eat a sandwich getting something to drink?

[A]

Sometimes I'll be like, yeah, I should just stop in, maybe just browse. But then like, I for sure need a 20 ounce water.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

For the last four minutes of that drive. Just in case I get thirsty.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Or like an energy drink for the next morning.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God.

[C]

Well, and then the two for whatever.

[A]

Whatever. I'm like, I'm gonna drink it. Yeah.

[D]

Plop that in my lunch cooler for tomorrow morning.

[A]

Well then.

[C]

And then you see like the, like the cartoon character, a little like apple juice or chocolate milks. Like, I might as well just get one of them for my kids.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

They'll love me when I.

[D]

He doesn't have a Snoopy one yet.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, he needs a pepper one.

[D]

Yeah, pepper's a nightmare.

[A]

But it's also like, you can also like, treat it as a good ritual with your children. I remember when I go to work with my dad as a kid, stop at the gas station and get us a caramel roll. Like all of a sudden you're just like now building lifelong Memories. Just stopping at the quick drip.

[D]

You're spot on. My. My oldest, he has learned. We go to the gas station so often that when we drive by a gas station, he'll look at me and go, dad, I'm getting pretty hungry. Like, we're not stopping.

[A]

Buddy Log's dog.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Is that what it is? Pavlov. Jake would know it. P. Lob's Law, where they ring the bell and the dog salvates. Your kid sees a gas station and he salvates.

[D]

He does.

[A]

I mean, I guess I do too.

[D]

No.

[B]

As we all do.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[D]

So I had a nice little morning.

[A]

It does sound really nice. Really nice.

[D]

Sign up for rewards first time in.

[C]

Why wouldn't you?

[D]

I got a rewards card now. Just gotta activate it.

[C]

But 100 miles on a day.

[D]

Yeah. Just gonna need. I'm gonna need a few more quick trips on my route. So I'd be swiping that card.

[C]

Rewards, like rewards programs at. At our age is the best. Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

I even said that. She's like, are you a rewards member? I'm like, no. She said, would you like to sign up today? I was like, sure. She pulls out a car. I was like, oh, a card.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I think if there's a card along with it. That's so sweet.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's the only thing I'll sign up for, like, in person. Because, I mean, every place has a rewards program. They always ask you at the till. I feel like this is why. I mean, it's one and done. Let's just do it. I got an open spot in my wallet that's been crying.

[A]

Yeah. I finally threw away that hotel key. That's been three months.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

The Bonvoy by Marriott finally. Finally got cut out of the wallet roster.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

My oil change punch card, which I haven't used in the last four oil changes, has just been burning a hole in my wallet. So let's get that out of there.

[B]

I have so many, like, hotel Hilton cards in my house. And the most. It's like a scavenger hunt.

[A]

Well, and what sucks is, like, you, like, nowadays all hotels are zoned by the same three chains, so they all use the same hotel hotel key. So it's not like you can't even like, keep them as like, oh, this was when I was in Milwaukee. It's like, it just is a Hilton purple, whatever, pink, whatever it is. Yeah.

[B]

So many of them. I'll bring them in.

[C]

Too bad you couldn't redeem those for something.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. It's like 10 bucks off of your thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Per. This is not that wouldn't card. Doesn't even cost. Close enough.

[B]

I don't know if it'd be cool.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. It'd be sick.

[C]

It's a principle.

[D]

Yeah. I'm just being responsible. It's like a more intense version of the shopping cart test. If you return your key or not.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You could start Jared after every trip, take it out, write a sharp Sharpie, what hotel it was and what dates you stayed. And then you just take like a. Like a sports cards book and you can just have like a slots. And you just keep them all. You can't throw them away. Those are good keys.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What if you stay at one without, like a water park or something? You want to show your kids that in 20 years.

[A]

And then you can pull out and be like, see, this one still smells like chlorine.

[C]

Soggy.

[D]

I've kept it in a Ziploc.

[B]

It's like a seashell. You put your ear up to it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. If it's a water park, you can just hear kids screaming.

[D]

Hear lifeguards.

[C]

Smell this one. Yeah.

[A]

No peeing in the pool. That was a great trip. That was a great trip. I peed in the pool 15 times.

[D]

Beat in the lazy river. Everyone behind me was, yeah.

[B]

This one has a good hotel bar.

[C]

This one was. And I accidentally booked the smoking room.

[B]

See how it's yellow?

[A]

So this one. This one's from the Hairball Hotel. Yeah. In Wisconsin Dells. As you can see, we kept the clump of hair.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I found a human finger under the.

[A]

Bed on that one.

[D]

So.

[A]

Could be a good idea, Jared. You got all those laying around, you might as well do something with them.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Or you can make like a. Make like a coffee table with them. You could put. Put them, like, just lay them flat.

[A]

Out, rosin over the top. And then when people come over, you can be like, yeah, this is some table I made. As you can tell, I'm pretty wanderlust. I travel a lot. It's boring, but it's my life.

[D]

I have an airplane in my bio on Instagram.

[A]

Yeah. I also have a pre check number. So TSA pre check.

[D]

Still working on clear.

[A]

You like engrave that around the edge. Your pre check number.

[B]

I'll say. It's like at the lake, they have the boards. It's just my pre check number.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like, nice fonts.

[A]

I might as well my pre check. I might have to get a personalized license plate with my pre check. Yeah.

[C]

You never forget it.

[A]

Because I'm so wanderlust. My motto in life is, not all who wander are lost.

[B]

I just came up with that.

[A]

I just came up with that. I'm gonna get a tattoo.

[B]

I'll get. Yeah, I'll get on that.

[A]

Yeah. Ryan's got some extra sleeves that you can buy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We got some pennies, binder. Yeah.

[B]

Helping card.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd like to get my. I'd like to get my hotel cards minted.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Get a cinnamon for grading.

[D]

We have pretty funny prank for the PSA guys.

[C]

Yeah, it would. Yeah.

[B]

They'll get a chuckle.

[A]

Then you can. You can tell if PSA is chill like that or not. They send it back.

[C]

Well, they say they authenticate anything. Is this authenticated? Four Seasons? Of course it is. You know the ritz?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Super 8.

[D]

Same difference.

[C]

Yes, exactly. Super 80s with the Taj Mahal 20 years ago.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Look for the yellow sign.

[C]

Now it's just a Super 8 ball. I don't know what I'm batting right now, but it's a thousand.

[B]

So a Super 8 better than Motel 6 because it's got two more numbers.

[D]

Yeah, it's higher number for sure.

[B]

I never understood.

[D]

It's like mission.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Someone offers you a six ball or an eight ball for the same price. We're gonna take the eight.

[D]

Yeah. Jared, answer the question.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Why is six afraid of seven?

[B]

Seven, eight, nine, six, seven.

[D]

That.

[A]

That should be Motel 6's whole motto. Rebrand to Motel 6.

[C]

Seven.

[D]

No, that'll be a Super bowl commercial.

[A]

I'm calling it right now.

[C]

I don't think they have enough money to have a Super bowl commercial.

[D]

Could be a local one.

[C]

The truckers are gonna be pissed because now the rates are gonna get jacked up.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

The truckers and the crack addicts. Just kidding. I don't mean.

[A]

We're just doing comedy.

[C]

Motel 6 is the only place that leaves a light on for you. That's respect and that's caring about your clients.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

Walk to my room. My light wasn't on. Refund.

[C]

Yeah, it's like. It's like the DQ if they don't flip the blizzard. This is free, right?

[D]

Lights off. Full reef.

[C]

Lights off.

[D]

I would still like to stay full reef.

[B]

Harry.

[D]

Else is booked.

[B]

I need this.

[D]

So when I left my room earlier, I turned the light off, and when I came back, it was still off. I'm going to need a refund.

[C]

Yeah, I know I had the do not disturb ticket on the front, but at least go.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Look underneath the Door.

[D]

Yeah. You said you were going to leave it on for me.

[A]

That'd be funny. You're at a Motel 6, you're trying to go to bed, and you just keep flipping the switch. Switch off, and it goes off, and then it just flips right back on. It's like one of those things where, like, you flip the switch and then the hand comes out and turns it back on. It just keeps flipping back up. God, these guys are true to their word.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Holy. Yeah, I didn't get a wink of sleep last night, but I tell you what, these guys really are on brand.

[C]

Yeah. Forcing me underneath the covers or all the bedbugs. Just kidding. I. They don't probably.

[A]

Hey, you can say whatever you want about Motel 6. Not like we're trying to, like, get him to be a sponsor.

[C]

No, I know, but. But we could have listeners who frequent Motel Sixes, and I don't want to be, you know, I don't want to be judgmental towards.

[B]

There's probably one listener right now that's In a Motel 6, probably for this podcast. Yeah, he's getting freaked.

[C]

Probably works front desk, too.

[D]

We'll turn that light back on. Dude, don't lose your job.

[A]

Motel 6 is definitely bigger than Super 8. Right? I feel like Super Eights are, like, only around here at all.

[C]

Well, Super 8 back in my town, closed. They rebranded.

[A]

What is it now?

[C]

I have no idea. I think it's some just. Yeah, I have no idea. Roadway in. I think it's always a good spot. Yeah. If you're gonna stay anywhere, stay at the Roadway.

[D]

We'll keep the coffee on for you. Yeah.

[A]

We'll keep the doors unlocked. It's the roadway in.

[C]

We'll keep your room key from not working.

[A]

Roadway, we'll keep the bedbugs alive for you. Sermon.

[C]

It's weird. Roadway, we'll keep the sheets dirty for you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Roadway.

[A]

We'll have the front desk meth head not be wearing a bra when you show up.

[D]

It went from.

[B]

This is.

[A]

We're at dad for you at the end. We'll keep the front desk meth head without a bra on for you.

[D]

No, it just went from this could be a totally ambiguous segment to mouse is for sure stayed in a roadway.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

We got multiple in town.

[D]

Yeah, they're great.

[C]

One of them, I used to have a water slide. I don't know if it still does, but I think there was a standoff there and they had to get rid of it. Something for you.

[D]

Nothing shuts down a water park faster Than a standoff for you. Classic water park standoff. Don't move a muscle.

[B]

Water park said upgrade, man.

[A]

Roadway, we'll keep the jacuzzi tub in the corner, the carpet below it nice and wet for you.

[C]

Roadway, we'll keep the cereal stale for you.

[A]

Well, should we take a break? Yeah, probably. All right, guys, Jared's got a couple of segments for us here to round out the podcast. What's the first segment you got for us, Jared?

[B]

Translating white collar phrases to blue collar.

[A]

Okay. All right, let's go.

[D]

A lot of f bombs.

[A]

Call me Google because I'm gonna translate. All right, well, let's hear it, Jared. What do you got?

[B]

All right, translate. We're streamlining operations to blue collar.

[A]

Okay, so we're streamlining operations. Well, first of all, it's like, what's kind of funny about these white guys? What does that even mean?

[B]

I think that it's like cutting the fat.

[A]

Gotcha.

[B]

Streamline would be like cutting or like, make it stuck. More efficient.

[C]

Kind of like a crestliner. Cuts through the waves. We're just gonna streamline stuff.

[A]

Okay. What's the phrase again?

[B]

We're streamlining operations.

[A]

We're streamlining operations in blue collar. It's Dave got another Dewey, so he won't be here today. So we're gonna be a man down.

[B]

That's good.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I was thinking half of. Half of our employees got deported today, so we're gonna be a few guys down.

[B]

Be a long one.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Or it's just. Yeah. You know, new guy didn't show up today, so we all work late. Probably another one. Yeah.

[D]

I think we caught flops jerking it in the porta potty again. So we got rid of him.

[A]

Going to have to work late. Yeah.

[C]

For you.

[B]

For you.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Translate. Per my last email to blue collar.

[A]

I told you 10 times.

[D]

I think that's spot on.

[A]

Or. Or just I shouldn't have to tell you anything. Just do it.

[D]

Or the. You should have been able to read my mind.

[A]

There you go. Read my mind.

[B]

Translate. We're building synergy to blue collar.

[A]

Oh, God. They just wouldn't even say this. It's like. It's like there's. They don't have words in this language, in the blue collar language to even attempt this sentence.

[D]

They got it. You guys want to get beers on Friday?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You want to get up at work?

[D]

You guys want to have job site beers or what?

[A]

Yeah, 100%.

[B]

Want to come over, watch NASCAR this weekend?

[A]

I got a 30. I got a 30 rack at the shop for after work today. Yeah, you're right.

[D]

It just doesn't happen at the office for them.

[B]

Translate. We'll circle back to blue collar.

[A]

Good enough for who it's for. It's not my house. So.

[B]

Translate a few housekeeping items to blue collar.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. Before you started the project, you got to redo it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's always a. Oh, so I forgot to tell you the housekeeping items, and so you're gonna have to redo what you already did.

[C]

Yeah, the house is no longer kept.

[A]

That was like, we were doing a job. We're doing an addition onto a winery in Fargo, and guy shows up. I don't know if it was my dad or what, but someone basically was like, oh, you didn't get the. You didn't get the memo that actually, you guys need to move this entire footing that you have completely set up one foot to the right. And so. And we found out the reason why we didn't get that information is because there was two sets of plans. One was nor one was the original plans, and the second one had some pen markings on it.

[D]

Ah.

[A]

So we didn't get that. So. Yeah.

[D]

So your dad was pumped.

[A]

Yeah, well, my dad probably was the bearer of bad news, but the guy I was working with, who's kind of running the crew, losing his mind. Hey, guys, I know that you already built the whole house, but we actually need you to tear it down, start over, and move it six inches to the north. He just kept saying stuff like that all day. He's losing his mind.

[B]

Was it that one format you had? That's it. I.

[A]

No, it wasn't that guy. But it could have been. Yeah, he wouldn't have. You wouldn't have done the sarcastic. Hey, guys. You know, he just been like, I wish that I would have been told that. No one tells me anything. That would have been him.

[B]

I love that. Guys, my favorite.

[A]

Yeah, you gotta do it with the under bite. And then the. Instead of pointing like a normal person, you gotta point with your palm up. I told him that I need to start being in the loop on these things because otherwise we're just wasting our time.

[C]

Guys. Just trying to build good synergy.

[B]

That's the guy.

[C]

Gotta do.

[B]

Translate. We need to take a holistic approach to blue collar.

[C]

Holyistic. Yeah.

[B]

Holistic.

[A]

Okay, sure.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, we need to take a holistic approach.

[C]

What does holistic approach even mean?

[A]

I would think the big picture.

[C]

Okay, all right.

[A]

Holistic approach.

[B]

Holistic.

[D]

I Don't know.

[A]

They just. They don't. That no one's ever taken a holistic approach on the job site. It's always blinders on. What am I doing right here?

[B]

Doesn't exist. Yeah. Translate. Quarter four presented unexpected challenges.

[D]

A homeowner told us to change.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Now they're fucking change order.

[D]

Mm.

[B]

Last one. Translate. We're putting you on a performance improvement plan to blue collar.

[D]

Get your together. You're done.

[A]

Even you're not done.

[C]

True.

[A]

Yeah. Get your together or I'll think about firing you.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Because I can't. But I don't want you to know that. Yeah. No, no, no, no. It's say. Say the line again.

[B]

We're putting you on a performance improvement plan.

[A]

You gotta stop doing drugs on the job site.

[C]

You gotta start doing more drugs on the job site. You're not quite cutting it right now.

[A]

We can't have you going through withdrawals while you're trying to square up a house. We need you in tip top shape. So if that means you gotta go to the truck for a bump, you gotta go to the truck for a bump. All right.

[D]

We either need you to completely clean or completely high. None of this half anymore.

[A]

Yeah. We can't have you in these deep walls.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Job site.

[C]

We don't want half baked around here either. Fully baked, or you're not baked at all.

[A]

You're raw or you're baked.

[B]

Oh, yeah. That's all I for that.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

That was a good one.

[A]

I think there's only one that really stumped us with the holistic approach. They just don't think big picture.

[B]

All right, categories. Category wars.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

This is a new segment. Segment called.

[B]

What category? It's category wars. But I like. I called it categories.

[A]

Categories.

[C]

Yeah, that's. That's good.

[A]

It's all right. Yeah, it's good.

[B]

It's big for me.

[A]

I think it'll grow on me a little bit.

[B]

Categories.

[A]

Cat. Is it Cat worries.

[B]

Cata worries.

[A]

Catawaries.

[B]

So it'd be C A T E.

[A]

W A R I E S Catawaries. So it's basically we're playing a game.

[D]

Of categories, like the drinking game.

[B]

So I don't know.

[A]

He has explained the rules. Here we go.

[B]

I keep talking about the name.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So yeah, it's like war, but with categories.

[B]

So, like, Miles and Ryan will go at it and do a category about, like, fruit. So Miles.

[A]

And is it trivia?

[B]

You just got to keep naming.

[C]

No, so it's like you say apple, orange, banana.

[A]

Don't you Don't. Don't use them all.

[C]

Well, no, this is an example. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah. All right, well, let's try it.

[C]

And whoever gets. Okay.

[A]

Apple, orange, banana, grapefruit, fruit, or.

[B]

Oh, then Ryan would win. Then Tyler would face ryan, and there's.

[C]

10 rounds of it in fruit or a different category.

[B]

I have 10 different. No fruit, so.

[C]

But if Tyler were to cut, then come and face me, it'd be a different category.

[D]

Correct. We're on to veggies.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

So that's how it goes.

[D]

And just last man standing.

[C]

Still going.

[B]

And the most points after 10 rounds. She's like, rounds one.

[D]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Little round robin.

[C]

A little round Rob. Gotcha.

[B]

It's like lightning.

[D]

All right.

[A]

This should just be a nice, friendly.

[D]

It.

[A]

Well, this one, actually. I don't know how we can get mad at each other. This is, like, kind of a good one.

[D]

Jared, if Ryan says tomato during fruits, you'd have been like, that's not one. Like.

[A]

Well, technically.

[C]

Well, you see here.

[A]

That won't happen.

[D]

Jake.

[C]

Jake would say it is.

[A]

That won't happen. That won't happen in this. No, no, no, no, no.

[C]

I do have a question, though.

[A]

We've grown as human beings. I don't think anyone's even going to get mad.

[D]

Can we just. In the rare, rare case that it does happen, can we just claim Jared right now as tiebreaker? If there's a discrepancy, sure.

[A]

Well, let's say the judge. I mean. No, we don't need to. We don't need to be. We already have too many rules in these games. Let's not add more rules in. Does not put the cart before the horse. It's probably not even gonna happen. So we don't need a rule for it. Guy.

[C]

I do got a question. If you. If you freeze, how. Like, how many seconds do you get in between having to answer and. And you're done?

[B]

Two seconds.

[D]

Two.

[C]

And are you going to be the counter?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Or like, internally you'll be counting.

[B]

Yeah. It'd be like the delay a game in the NFL. It's a little loose.

[A]

Yeah. I think.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like if you're 1, 2, then you look up at the clock and it's. Then it's okay. Also, it could be nice to give us, like, a backcourt hand like this.

[C]

You know, one Mississippi.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. And then is it single elimination? So, like, if.

[A]

If round robin.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Whoever has the most points wins.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So, yeah, it's a nice, friendly game of cat. Cat of worries.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Categories okay, who's first?

[B]

Miles and Ryan will go first.

[A]

I'm kind of nervous.

[B]

All right, category is countries. Go, Miles.

[A]

Okay. So, like. Okay, got it. You ready, Ryan?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Germany.

[C]

Canada. Uk Mexico.

[A]

Brazil.

[C]

Dominican Republic.

[A]

Chile.

[C]

Pakistan.

[A]

Australia.

[C]

Uzbekistan.

[A]

Russia. Poland. Egypt.

[C]

Finland.

[A]

France.

[C]

Norway.

[A]

Costa Rica.

[C]

Punta Cana.

[B]

I don't know if that's a country.

[D]

I don't think so.

[B]

Is Punta.

[C]

It's not. It's a city.

[B]

I'm just checking.

[D]

Neither of you say the United States.

[C]

Well, no, that was. That.

[A]

That was. Saving that for the end. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, that was the. That was also.

[A]

Why were we jumping around? Why was it jumping around so much?

[D]

For a second, I thought Ryan was going with just the stands.

[A]

Yeah, that have been great by.

[C]

But then I was gonna say Turkey and. Yeah. I don't know.

[A]

All right, Miles, One globe trotted there for no reason.

[D]

None whatsoever.

[A]

I had a good rhythm. I went Brazil, Chile, and then I jumped over to Russia, I think. Where in the world are you?

[C]

I froze.

[B]

It's all right. You got. Yeah, you can still.

[A]

Is that what you said? Yes.

[B]

All right, Miles and Miles and Tyler.

[A]

This is gonna be a gauntlet. If I go 10 rounds in a row. Oh, my God.

[B]

You run the table.

[D]

A lot of juice is flowing.

[B]

All right, Miles, Tyler, sports. Miles, you start.

[A]

Football, baseball, lacrosse, soccer, basketball, wrestling, ping pong, track, swimming.

[D]

The rugby, racquetball, tennis.

[A]

2, 0. Weightlifting. Does that count?

[B]

I don't think.

[A]

I thought you. I thought. I quit early, so. Weightlifting King. Are we still going?

[B]

I thought that we were done.

[C]

Ty York.

[D]

Very close.

[C]

You're close.

[D]

I. I almost said equestrian.

[C]

That's a sport. Yeah, some. Some people will debate, though, that wrestling's not a sport. And he said wrestling.

[A]

Well, I also said swimming, which is also probably, maybe not as true.

[D]

It's the original Olympic sport, so.

[C]

I'm with you. I'm with you on that.

[A]

All right, I'll give that to Ryan or Tyler. Okay, that's fine.

[B]

So one Tyler.

[A]

All right. The mistake I made was I started thinking too much about the ones we said to ensure I didn't say another 100%.

[D]

Because we started with the basics, and then I was like, there's got to be more basics. Are we out of basics?

[A]

I know.

[B]

Okay. All right. Ryan, Tyler, TV shows. Tyler, you start.

[D]

Game of Thrones, Always Sunny Friends, King of the Hill, Seinfeld, South Park, Family.

[A]

Guy, SpongeBob, American Dad, Peppa the Pig.

[D]

New Girl, Bluey, Blue's Clues.

[C]

Blippi.

[D]

I don't think.

[A]

I don't think that's a show.

[D]

He's a YouTuber.

[A]

That's a YouTube channel.

[D]

Oh.

[C]

Game of Thrones also isn't a TV show. It's a streaming Show.

[D]

It's on HBO, which is on television.

[A]

You named a YouTube show, not a television show.

[C]

Game of Thrones. Not tell.

[D]

Yes, it is. HBO airs on tv. That's how it started.

[A]

That would be like. That would be like one of you guys saying, Mr. Beast, right?

[C]

You gotta have a subscription for HBO for that.

[D]

No. Oh, yeah, but you do. It's through cable.

[A]

How many other ones did you say that was streaming?

[D]

HBO is. Was on tv. It's. It's a tv. It airs.

[B]

But they do say it's not tv, it's hbo.

[D]

Fuck off with the semantics.

[A]

Okay, wait, so did Tyler lose on the. The first fucking one? I think if you go to the.

[D]

If you look up greatest TV shows of all time, I bet Game of Thrones is on there.

[B]

Tyler's right.

[D]

Thank you.

[A]

But also, if it's the home box office. What's a box office? Fucking movies.

[D]

It's a TV show.

[A]

So I might be on Ryan's side here.

[C]

Why isn't Blippi a TV show?

[D]

Because it's on YouTube, which is on TV.

[A]

Can't watch it on the TV. So now what's the fucking line here?

[D]

You just. You know, a Game of Thrones is a TV show.

[C]

This TV series, it's a. It's a.

[A]

It's just a show. What was the category actually, technically called TV Shows? Oh, yeah, I think Tyler.

[C]

No, I know. I know that. I knew that a while ago.

[B]

You threw a Hail Mary, Ryan.

[C]

Yeah, I'll get. I'll get on the first board.

[B]

Okay. Miles. Tyler. Animals.

[A]

Oh, come off.

[D]

Who starts?

[B]

Tyler, you won the last round.

[A]

Dog, giraffe, cat, guinea pig, mouse, rhino, squirrel, elephant, chipmunk, lion, deer, tiger, elk, panther, moose, monkey, antelope, sloth bear, koala.

[D]

Bear, panda bear, grizzly bear, polar bear, bird, alligator, eagle, Goo bird, then eagle, crocodile.

[A]

Antelope.

[D]

Okay, I said that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Otherwise you would have been in that time.

[A]

I got way further, though, by not listening to anything you said.

[D]

100. I picked a lane in my head and just ran with it.

[A]

Yeah. So, yeah, that's the move.

[B]

So Tyler has three, Ryan is zero, Miles has one.

[A]

You gotta get one here, otherwise we're not gonna be able to catch it.

[C]

No, I will. Don't worry.

[B]

All right, this one's a little different.

[A]

So wait, this is round number what.

[B]

1, 2, 3, 5? Yep.

[A]

Because it could get to a Point. If we start splitting, like, you might just have to, you know, intentionally. To me. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. You say moose, I'll say moose, and then you win.

[A]

But first, we got to get back from him. So I got to win this.

[B]

All right, Ryan and Tyler. So this one's a little different. It's jobs that require a unit uniform.

[A]

Oh, God. Two seconds. All right.

[B]

All right, Tyler, you can start.

[A]

No cop.

[C]

UPS.

[D]

Firefighter.

[C]

FedEx.

[D]

Mailman.

[C]

USPS, EMS.

[D]

DHL. What is that?

[C]

Baseball player, McDonald's. Football player, burger King. Basketball player, Panda Express, Starbucks, Chipotle.

[B]

You got me zero.

[A]

Let's go.

[C]

Dude, I got Wendy's banked up after that. Wendy's banked up?

[D]

What the is dhl?

[C]

It's a shipping service. Yeah, yellow and red. I had Wendy's banked up, too, also.

[A]

Yeah, I was.

[C]

I just picked one part of town, and I'm like, okay, restaurant.

[B]

Good strategy.

[C]

Yeah, I know. I walk in.

[D]

All right.

[C]

Me and Miles.

[B]

Yep. Miles and Ryan. Ryan, you start. It is things you find in a bathroom.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Things you find in the bathroom.

[A]

Ryan goes first.

[B]

Ryan goes first.

[C]

Soap.

[D]

Cooper.

[C]

Toilet paper. Pee Paper towels.

[A]

Ceramic.

[C]

Smelly.

[A]

Spray tile.

[C]

Hand bar.

[A]

Vanity.

[D]

Light.

[C]

Garbage can.

[A]

Vanity mirror. Hand towel.

[C]

Changing table.

[A]

Flusher.

[C]

Little thing on the stall. Door. Toilet seat, urinal.

[A]

The floaty thing in the back of the toilet.

[C]

Scrub brush.

[A]

Plant.

[C]

Picture of your baby's bottom.

[A]

A funny saying. Like, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the CD sign.

[C]

Shower curtain.

[A]

Tub.

[C]

Conditioner.

[A]

Shampoo.

[C]

Body wash.

[A]

Lotion.

[C]

Iris spring.

[A]

Oh, here we go. That's a double up, dude.

[B]

It's a tough one.

[A]

Irish Spring is body wash. Yeah, it's.

[C]

A bar of soap.

[A]

Didn't you already say bar of soap? No, I think he did.

[C]

No, I. I did not say bar.

[A]

You did.

[C]

I did not say. I said conditioner when I. Because when I started in my head, when I was going to liquids, I went conditioner and then Irish Spring. I did not say bar of soap.

[A]

All right, so should we keep going?

[B]

Yeah, keep going.

[C]

Because on the animal round, it was bird and then eagle.

[D]

Sure, that did fly.

[A]

I lost.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, but that's still flu. Yeah. All right. Should we keep going? Am I up?

[B]

Yeah, keep going.

[A]

To bowl cleaner.

[C]

Pantene.

[D]

What is that shampoo brand?

[A]

Is that not shampoo and conditioner and conditioner?

[C]

Bird. Eagle.

[D]

He does.

[A]

Jer, come on.

[D]

He's got a point. The bird eagle thing's a really good argument. You set the precedent.

[A]

No, I lost, okay? I lost on bird and Eagle then. Do you want to keep going? I got him lined up.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, no, I won that. That's. What are you gonna say? L' Oreal next.

[D]

You could.

[B]

Garde fructis.

[A]

You say dove next.

[C]

Oh, they were banked, baby.

[A]

I had them all banked.

[B]

Great essentials.

[C]

So what's the ruling on that?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I. I got that. There's no way at all we could.

[B]

Do a no contest?

[A]

No. God, no. I spent way too much energy on that. 3, 2, 1. Me and Tyler against each other. Now, how many we got left left? 3, 4, 5, 6. We got. This is number seven. So we have four left.

[B]

Yep, we have four left. Okay. So Miles and Tyler, you fought for that one. Miles, that was.

[A]

How many?

[B]

Yeah, okay.

[C]

No, I think. I think you called me on that one, cuz. You didn't have one?

[A]

No, I. I have four in my mind right now. P. Trap. Sheetrock, door hinge, door handle. I mean, how many? I can go all day. I spent a lot of time in the bathroom, dude.

[C]

Door handle. Door knob.

[B]

Door.

[C]

Yeah, Door lock, door frame.

[A]

The little spring thing that keeps the door from hitting the Sheetrock.

[C]

Yeah, Door frame.

[D]

Doorstop.

[A]

Door stopper.

[B]

All right, Miles and Tyler, towel hook.

[A]

We didn't even say that that was.

[C]

Where I was going next. We continue.

[A]

All right, hold on.

[C]

What's the score?

[A]

3, 2, 1.

[B]

Yep. So, miles and Tyler, breakfast foods. Miles, you start.

[A]

Bacon, eggs, bagel, waffle, hash brown, pancake, French toast, sausage, English muffin, cereal toast.

[D]

Oatmeal, yogurt, bagel.

[A]

I already said bagel.

[C]

Yeah, you did.

[B]

Oh, he did.

[C]

Yes, he did. Yep.

[A]

Thank God, because I was.

[C]

I would have known.

[A]

All right, all right. Three, three, one.

[B]

So, Miles and Ryan, this is tight.

[C]

I gotta win out. I gotta win out.

[B]

Yep. Dial in tools.

[A]

Miles, you start.

[D]

Not brands. The tool itself.

[A]

Yeah, wait, hold on.

[D]

Let's. Let's set that right. Now.

[A]

No tool brands, just the tool itself. Okay.

[B]

Yep. You can't say, like, Milwaukee drill or.

[D]

Anything like that, but you can say drill, right?

[A]

Can I say drill? I was gonna say drill anyways.

[C]

Screwdriver. Phillips drill driver.

[A]

Drill.

[C]

Wait, hang on, hang on. You were going.

[A]

I go first.

[B]

Okay, just start again.

[A]

Drill.

[C]

Phillips screwdriver.

[A]

Chainsaw, wrench.

[C]

Ratchet table saw.

[A]

Ratchet strap.

[C]

Jigsaw.

[A]

Pole saw.

[C]

Monkey wrench.

[A]

Hedge trimmer.

[C]

Socket.

[A]

Ruling. Socket's a tool. Yeah, but I said socket wrench.

[D]

Yeah, you need a socket to go on.

[B]

He's all said, yeah, Ratchet strap. Kind of the same thing.

[A]

Lawn edger.

[B]

2, 1, 0.

[D]

Hammer. Oh, nobody said hammer.

[A]

We're getting there, Frost. I could have gone all day. Here's a question. I didn't say it, but is an extension cord a tool in your guys mind?

[D]

I don't think so. I wouldn't count it as a tool.

[B]

I think it would personally, it would be in a toolbox.

[D]

All right.

[C]

I don't think. Would you put an extension cord in a toolbox?

[D]

Because, like, I would use an extension cord for, like a Christmas tree, you know, you can use it for all kinds of things.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Let's see.

[A]

Question.

[D]

That's a good one to ponder.

[A]

Okay. Four, three, one.

[B]

God.

[A]

How many we got? We got two left.

[B]

Two left.

[A]

So if I win here, Miles closes.

[D]

And I gotta win out.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

If I win. Yeah. Okay. So we could end up in a tie. Well, yeah.

[D]

I'd have to win here and then lose to Ryan for it to be a tie. Yeah.

[C]

All right.

[A]

This could go anywhere. All right. So for Ryan, I think is statistically eliminated.

[C]

I could play spoiler, though.

[D]

Good.

[B]

All right. Miles and Tyler, pizza toppings.

[A]

I go first.

[B]

Yeah. Sorry.

[A]

Pepperoni, sausage, Canadian bacon, jalapenos, green olive, black olive, pineapple, bacon, peanut butter, honey, anchovies.

[D]

I almost said it.

[A]

Peppers, mushrooms.

[D]

Tomatoes, taco meat, chicken, lettuce, tortilla chips.

[A]

Fuck.

[D]

Two pickles, onions.

[A]

Red onions.

[D]

Red peppers, cilantro, spinach.

[B]

2, 1, 0.

[A]

What are you laughing at? The onions and red onions.

[D]

Yeah. Different.

[B]

Yeah, they taste different.

[A]

Red onions are sweeter, aren't they? God damn it.

[C]

But bar soap is different than body wash.

[A]

So. All right. Four, four, one.

[C]

So, Tyler, I can spoil.

[A]

This is the last round.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I won. I have a tiebreaker in my mind.

[A]

Dude, you gotta. I know I can I that up so bad.

[B]

All right.

[A]

I thought I was gonna win out of. God.

[D]

I almost said pineapple. And I would have lost. Because you already did it It.

[A]

If I lose, this sucks.

[C]

All glory to God.

[A]

Ryan's hands here.

[C]

Lock in.

[A]

Lock the in. Ryan.

[D]

Here we go.

[B]

All right. Ryan and Tyler.

[C]

Tyler, you're going first.

[B]

Yep. NBA teams.

[D]

Me.

[C]

The Timberwolves, Mavericks, Clippers, 76ers, Lakers, Hornets.

[D]

Pelicans, Spurs, Warriors, Lakers. I already said that.

[C]

Let's go.

[A]

Come on. Grizzlies, Knicks, Bucks.

[D]

I was tapped. The Heat.

[A]

Suns, Kings, Thunder, Thunder, Rockets. Wow.

[B]

What a comeback by Tyler.

[D]

Hell yeah, brother.

[A]

Bulls.

[C]

I didn't have a lane. I didn't have a lane. I didn't have a lane. I that up.

[A]

Did we get them all?

[B]

Yeah, pretty much.

[D]

Jazz, Nuggets My next one was going to be the Raptors. Are they still a thing in Toronto?

[A]

Yeah, we got Raptors.

[C]

I didn't have a lane. I didn't have a.

[A]

There was like 30 options.

[C]

I know I didn't have a lane.

[D]

Pistons.

[A]

So what would you have done if we had got them all?

[B]

My next topic would have been a tiebreaker. Would have been like. I think it would have been WNBA teams.

[A]

God damn it. All right, Tyler, you win.

[D]

Hell yeah.

[A]

Five. Almost five and one.

[C]

Technicality, though.

[D]

With the Cat of war.

[A]

We should have just got me and Tyler again. Four to four. Whatever.

[B]

Maybe next time.

[A]

Fine. It's like. I guess it's like, fine. If you want to play the eight seed in championship, Tyler.

[D]

We'Ll take it.

[A]

A lot of technicalities. See, we didn't need all the extra rules. That went smooth.

[C]

Three seconds in the lane.

[A]

Yeah, the seconds was loose. We should have done five.

[D]

No, it was good, though, because it made us have urgency not to. Even the ones where we probably went over. It was like trying to spur one out.

[A]

Would you have counted, like, ranch and barbecue sauce?

[D]

I was thinking of that, too.

[B]

I think you could have. Yeah.

[A]

Because Alfredo sauce.

[B]

Barbecue sauce is a topping that you can get.

[D]

Yeah, I was. I almost said hot sauce would have worked.

[C]

Anything that goes on top of pizza. Pizza crust, marinara Alfredo, cheese.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Cuz I didn't pesto. Just put yourself at blaze pizza and just get everything on your pizza. Go down the line.

[D]

Yeah. Because I was going to say sauces too.

[A]

Four or five. Pizza.

[D]

I. I thought about doing sauces too, but I was like, I'm not getting into a technicality war. It's got to be. That's in the very tippy top.

[B]

Domino's pepperoni, Papa John.

[A]

I didn't. I. I didn't want to say it because I think Ryan ended up winning that round, but Ryan or Tyler said mailman and then Ryan said usps. And that's the same person.

[B]

It's very similar.

[A]

They're the same thing I did.

[C]

Yeah, but there's USPS clerks, too.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

He didn't say clerk, though.

[A]

Say clerk.

[C]

Well, yeah, when you. Yeah. The guy who delivers your mail, you don't. You don't say, hey, USPS man. You say, hey, mailman.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I would say the United States Postal Service is here.

[C]

You guys. I won one round. Can you.

[A]

That was the round you won, too.

[D]

Definitely was.

[C]

I don't want the bathroom one too. Technicality, though. Iris spring body wash. No, you did.

[A]

We gave you that one we did the. You did Pantene. Which is because. Because you said bar of soap. But there's another. Yeah, it's a whole thing.

[C]

Pantene. I meant the medicated Pantene for psoriasis.

[D]

Fewer. A loved one suffering from moderate to severe plaque psoriasis.

[B]

Yeah. Hemorrhoid cream.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

God, we could have gotten into all the cute.

[D]

You guys. You guys didn't even get into oral care. I was expecting toothbrush.

[A]

Could have gone all day.

[C]

Dental dams.

[A]

If me and Tyler had been the same team, we could have gone all day against you.

[B]

Toilet brush.

[D]

You could have literally said pl.

[A]

I thought I. I had so. I almost did. But I thought he had said it.

[C]

I did say so.

[A]

I stayed away from that. Cuz I thought he already went down that rabbit hole.

[C]

Yeah. Because I went like this when I said toilet brush.

[A]

Yeah. I thought he already went down that toilet hole.

[C]

I was. I was. I was playing them out, as I was saying.

[A]

Saying them also. You like that whipped out ceramic.

[C]

I didn't even hear that, to be honest.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Didn't even hear. I was.

[D]

Sorry. You gotta zone out.

[C]

You could have said anything, and I think you couldn't be argued. You could say, I mean, water cup. That have been a great one.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You should have said that. But you didn't. You said Pantene instead, and I didn't.

[D]

It didn't click to me that route. Pantene was a brand. I'm like, what in the is a Pantene?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I was like, is that like a bed pan? Like that you piss in? What is a Pantene?

[A]

Like a canteen, but with a pan.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I think I can help this pan can dilemma. What else you got for us, Jared?

[D]

Anything?

[B]

Just a fun fact.

[A]

All right, let's hear it.

[B]

Until recently, losing an hour of daylight in the fall presented a problem for the candy industry. That's because Daylight saving time traditionally ended on the last Sunday in October, AKA before Halloween night. Intense lobbying to push back the date went on for decades. According to one report, candy lobbyists even went so far as to place tiny candy pumpkins on the seats of everyone in the Senate in 1985. In 2005, the National association of Convenience Stores backed a move to extend DST Daylight Savings time to eight months. It argued that the extension would result in more daylight for trick or treaters and thus more candy sales. The law extended daylight savings time into November. Finally went into Effect. Effect in 2007.

[A]

So big candy moved daylight savings.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

That's wild, actually.

[A]

I mean, they're manipulating time.

[D]

I didn't realize they had that much pull.

[B]

Yep. More daylight, more trick or treating equals more candy cells. Yep.

[A]

See, in my mind that's dumb because you wait until it's dark out to go trick or treat. Or ideally.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So you think you would sell more candy because it'd be more time. Kids would want to go trick or treating.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

Wouldn't you just buy the same amount of candy?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Regardless of when they go.

[D]

Right. Because the hour difference isn't going to change me as a homeowner if I'm buying one bag or three bags of candy to give to kids.

[C]

Diversion. They probably got something bigger conspiracy. Red 40 or some.

[B]

40.

[D]

We need that extra hour for the red 40.

[C]

Yeah. To digest.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

It all circles back to red for red 40. Only digest when the sun's down. So we needed that extra hour.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

For bedtime.

[A]

I'm.

[D]

I'm buying it.

[B]

It's like vampire.

[C]

It's complete divergent factor.

[D]

They're up to some other shit.

[A]

Yeah. What else are they doing?

[C]

No yellow five.

[D]

They also own toothpastes. That's why they.

[C]

If they were smart, they'd say yellow 5 increases your wiener size.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

The.

[B]

It's true.

[D]

What's cuz they're trying to sell the red stuff. So they talk about the yellow diversion factory. Yeah.

[A]

They're like, stop by Mountain Dew. Buy candy.

[D]

Yeah. Yep.

[C]

You can eat a lot more candy. Throw the day you can drink Mountain Dew. I think cost wise.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Stay away from the yarn.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Well.

[A]

Is that it, Jared? That's it. Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of you Bet yout Radio. Have a great week and we'll see.

[C]

You in the next one betcha.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Hunter Scott. Hashtag things that make a guy go hell yeah. This week I built a workbench where all of the bolts were 10 millimeter. I successfully built the bench without losing a socket or having to go to the hardware stair store after the first purchase.

[A]

Hell yeah.

[C]

Huge news.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I.

[A]

My move, I. I don't necessarily like will lose a socket when I'm doing it, but I will misplace it for a while for sure. And part of it is because my system for keeping track of stuff when I'm doing a project is just wear a sweatshirt and store everything I need in the pocket.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

And then you bend over for something and something falls out, you know, or you go in there, you pull something out and it. Something else comes with it and it's just A disaster.

[B]

You get. Pull your sweatshirt off and everything flies.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Never fails. Yeah.

[A]

Or like. Yeah, like, you know, I'll. Screws end up in the wash because, you know, I just was in the very, like, very corner of the. Of the sweatshirt pocket, you know, where it's like. If it was in the center, you'd notice it, but because it kind of gets stuffed in the corner.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So that's a great feeling. Oh, they're going to the hardware store one time is kind of a feat.

[D]

It's very impressive. Massive.

[A]

Yeah, you should, like. We should start hanging banners in the rafters for that. Like, you should be able to hang a banner in your garage for that feat that you just did.

[B]

Yeah. Then when you're trying to hang up the banger, you can't find the tools.

[A]

Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, it was. You'd have to do that. Otherwise you need to have a second banner to put up in the rafters. Yeah.

[C]

You get enough banners too, then you're covered for like your kids graduation. Covering everything up banners, they get them really long. Yep.

[B]

Great conversation piece too.

[C]

Big time. Yeah. Gold banners.

[B]

Put it in my butt. Asks or says Miles got. Miles got me in trouble at my grandpa's funeral.

[A]

Oh, God, did I do that?

[C]

He probably sneezed. He got a boner.

[A]

He's four for four.

[C]

Don't talk about it.

[D]

Shut the fuck up. Shut up.

[B]

Recently went to my grandpa's funeral, and on the way up, we passed a concrete statue farm. It has a dick ton of concrete statues, and I thought Miles would love it. During the funeral, I let out a chuckle because I was thinking about how much he would love it. And then my mom yelled at me, thanks, Miles, for making me look like a dick at my grandpa's funeral.

[D]

Good one, Miles.

[A]

I gotta get an ocular pat down on these concrete statues. Honestly, I know what we're working with.

[D]

Take some notes for your next iteration of the lamp code.

[A]

I. I should find a photo of the concrete lamp. Like, I don't. Because I remember one time you asked if I had a photo of me working on it. I don't think I have that, but I definitely somewhere have a photo of the lamp I made, and it's. It's so hideous.

[C]

Did you sell it on Marketplace?

[A]

No, no.

[C]

I was gonna say you could go back in your.

[A]

Your archives, but, like, it worked. Like, what I set out to do is to do a lamp like this, but then, like, if you just took the lamp, you put it in a room, you'd be like, it would definitely be a conversation piece because people be like, is that like a NFL end zone pylon with a glow, glow. A light up dildo sticking out of the side. Fuck is that?

[D]

I think I always picture these as like. Like a normal lamp. Like that looked like a bowling pin kind of.

[A]

Oh, no, God.

[C]

Like a pottery.

[D]

Like the pin right behind your head. Ryan. I pictured it as a lamp that looked like that.

[A]

No, this thing is. It looks like a pylon. It was. I just. I just made a rectangle square form for it and poured the concrete in. And then I had to glue the socket to the. The panel metal and put glue around it and then electrical. It made sure like the thing was watertight and then just poured concrete in it.

[D]

Do you have any of those lamps anywhere? Do you have any idea where they could be?

[A]

This one I specifically remember being like. Because it was pretty heavy. I remember throwing it in a dumpster and it broke in half. And I was kind of like that. I was kind of like, hell yeah. Damn.

[D]

Yeah, that'd be a great podcast edition.

[A]

It would. I could maybe make one again. Please.

[D]

I'd love to see one.

[A]

I gotta imagine. What are you doing this weekend, honey? Well, wife, I'm actually gonna go make a concrete lamp instead of hang out with you and our child.

[B]

It'll just be quick read with a light bulb sticking out of there.

[C]

Yeah, I'm working. This is. This is work. Yeah.

[A]

But I gotta find a photo.

[C]

This. This table right here definitely will not hold it.

[A]

No.

[C]

We have to get a new end table.

[B]

Yeah. Would things beat up?

[A]

Yeah. So I'm sorry about that, but also, like, were the statues kind of sick or.

[C]

Well, you also brought kind of a. Just a light hearted, light hearted laugh to you know what could be a sad moment.

[D]

Better than.

[A]

Better than a sneeze.

[C]

Yeah, better than a sneeze.

[D]

If I know anything about grandpas is they want more laughter at their funerals than tears anyway, so.

[C]

Yeah, I wish grandpa's never died.

[D]

Yeah, say. You should be saying you're welcome. Welcome.

[A]

Yeah, you're welcome, guys. If you want more, you bet your radio you gotta check out our Patreon. You gotta go to patreon.com you betsradio or look us up on the app. And we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you gotta check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.