Worst Way To Spend a Million Dollars 🎙 #320

Summary

You Betcha Radio Podcast Summary

Episode Title: Worst Way To Spend a Million Dollars 🎙 #320
Release Date: April 2, 2025

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1. Fire Fest 2 and Billy McFarland's Return

The episode opens with the hosts—Miles, Ryan, Tyler, and Jared—delving into the controversial resurgence of Fire Fest 2, orchestrated by Billy McFarland. They express skepticism and amusement over McFarland's persistence despite his notorious past with the original Fyre Festival.

• Ticket Pricing and Offers:
  McFarland is marketing exorbitantly priced tickets, including "two million dollar" and "one million dollar" packages.
  Miles (03:08): “He has two one million dollar tickets for sale. What could possibly at a concert be worth $1 million? Do they just... Do they own the concert?”

• Lineup Doubts:
  The hosts mock the lack of a confirmed lineup, highlighting the uncertainty surrounding the event’s musical acts.
  Ryan (02:48): “Ryan has tickets to Fyre Fest 2. Yeah, right now. And he's like, oh, I gotta go make a few calls.”

• Comparison to the Original Fyre Festival:
  They draw parallels to the original disaster, predicting similar mishaps and questioning the feasibility of McFarland's promises.
  Tyler (05:06): “We have a private island off the coast of Mexico in the Caribbean.”

2. The Struggle with Rising Egg Prices and Chicken Coops

Shifting gears, the conversation pivots to the increasing cost of eggs and the potential solution of building chicken coops. Tyler leads a discussion on the practicality and financial implications of self-sustaining egg production.

• Financial Breakdown:
  The hosts calculate the cost-benefit of investing in a chicken coop versus purchasing eggs at inflated prices.
  Miles (32:33): “If you bought a 280, it would take you 10 months. You make your money back.”

• Challenges of Raising Chickens:
  Tyler elaborates on the maintenance required, including heating, feeding, and ensuring the chickens’ well-being through harsh winters.
  Tyler (27:01): “I have to hire someone to hardwire that in for them.”

• Alternative Solutions:
  Suggestions include relying on neighbors with existing coops or gradually transitioning to backyard chickens to mitigate costs and efforts.
  Ryan (35:11): “We should do a housewarming party. Like, hey, you guys are invited.”

3. Fun Fact Segment: NASA’s Dolphin Communication Experiment

In an unexpected turn, Jared introduces a “fun fact” about a 1960s NASA project aimed at human-dolphin communication, which controversially involved inappropriate methods to keep dolphins engaged in language training.

• Project Overview:
  The experiment led by John C. Lilly involved manually stimulating dolphins and administering LSD to enhance communication abilities.
  Jared (70:36): “In the 1960s, NASA funded a controversial research project led by neuroscientist John C. Lilly to explore human dolphin communication.”

• Hosts' Reactions:
  The team humorously and critically discusses the ethical implications and absurdity of the project, highlighting the implausibility of such experiments succeeding.
  Tyler (72:15): “I think they were just going to teach dolphin English through the art of manual stimulation.”

4. Preparing for a Formal Western-Themed Gala

Ryan seeks advice on dressing appropriately for an upcoming Western-themed gala without appearing out of place or as an imposter. The hosts offer practical and comedic suggestions to help him fit the theme authentically.

• Attire Recommendations:
  Suggestions include blending formal wear with Western elements such as jeans, button-up shirts, sport coats, cowboy boots, and bolo ties.
  Miles (45:01): “Just wear some jeans, a button up sport coat, cowboy boots and a bolo tie.”

• Humorous Takes on Western Fashion:
  The conversation is peppered with jokes about mismatched accessories and the authenticity of urban-inspired cowboy attire.
  Ryan (44:57): “It's like a live-action role play as a costume party.”

5. The Great Hot Dog Debate

Towards the episode's conclusion, the hosts engage in a spirited and humorous debate over the best ways to enjoy hot dogs, discussing toppings, presentation, and personal preferences.

• Preferred Toppings:
  The group shares their favorite combinations, balancing traditional condiments like ketchup and relish with unconventional additions like sauerkraut and avocado.
  Ryan (85:37): “Sometimes I like to cut my hot dog into pieces and then mix it.”

• Innovative Serving Ideas:
  They brainstorm creative methods to present hot dogs, such as transforming them into "hot dog bowls" or incorporating them into mac and cheese for a novel twist.
  Tyler (90:30): “Maybe we'll do it in a hot dog bun, bread bowl.”

Notable Quotes

• Miles (03:08): "He has two one million dollar tickets for sale. What could possibly at a concert be worth $1 million? Do they just... Do they own the concert?"
• Tyler (05:06): "We have a private island off the coast of Mexico in the Caribbean."
• Jared (70:36): "In the 1960s, NASA funded a controversial research project led by neuroscientist John C. Lilly to explore human dolphin communication."
• Ryan (44:57): "It's like a live-action role play as a costume party."

Conclusion

Throughout the episode, the hosts blend humor with critical commentary, particularly focusing on the dubious revival of Fire Fest 2 and the practical challenges of tackling rising egg prices through home farming. Their lighthearted banter and insightful discussions make the episode both entertaining and informative for listeners.

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Note: This summary captures the key discussions and themes from the episode, providing insights and notable quotes to give readers a comprehensive overview without needing to listen to the full podcast.

Transcript

[Miles]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the you Bet yout Radio podcast. The coldest podcast in all the Midwest. I am Miles. Do you bet you guy here with Ryan the T shirt guy.

[Ryan]

Hello.

[Miles]

We're live and back.

[Tyler]

Not live.

[Miles]

Ryan. You know what? I got to commend you.

[Ryan]

Go on.

[Miles]

I was complaining about that you weren't wearing any of our merchandise in the last episode that I was here or two episodes ago or whatever. And today you're wearing the me without feet crew neck without sweet. Nice job, Ryan. Yeah, I take direction.

[Ryan]

We're warranted.

[Miles]

Tyler's got the all black ditch chickens hat. I gotta get my hat. My. My hands on one of those. I'm wearing the. The khaki version of it. And Jared's not wearing anything.

[Jared]

Yeah, sorry about that.

[Tyler]

He's got you bet your undies on.

[Miles]

Which the public doesn't know about yet.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, cut that out under the COVID Yeah, well, that's.

[Tyler]

That's you Bet you After Dark.

[Miles]

So, guys, you got to go check out the stuff at. Oh, you bet you dot com. Got a good deal going right now.

[Ryan]

Or is that over a phenomenal deal? Up to 60 off hoodies, crew necks, long sleeves.

[Miles]

You got to clear out inventory before summer hits.

[Ryan]

Yep. Making T shirt weather.

[Tyler]

Shorter sleeved.

[Miles]

And if you buy a sweatshirt right now, you'll still be able to get. You'll still be able to wear it easily into June.

[Ryan]

Oh, God. Yeah, yeah, I'll even ship it tomorrow. Okay, that's his job description, but yeah, yeah, I'll ship it tomorrow.

[Miles]

Yeah, so go to ou betcha.com up to 60 off right here, right now. Before we get going, guys, Billy McFarland's doing Fire Fest 2 again. I don't know if you guys saw this.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah, no.

[Miles]

What are we doing?

[Tyler]

You can't keep Billy down.

[Miles]

It's like the whole time he was sitting in jail, instead of being like, I should turn my life around, he was like, okay, this is what I did wrong. The first time. I. I for sure will get it right.

[Tyler]

The second time, he was scamming people from prison.

[Miles]

Was he?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

What do you mean?

[Tyler]

It was like the end of the documentary. He was doing, like, phone scams for prison.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was getting people's, like, emails and. Yeah, right.

[Tyler]

So he never stopped, even when he was locked up?

[Ryan]

No, he says it's all legit, though.

[Tyler]

Well, that's what he said.

[Jared]

He said. He said.

[Ryan]

He said it was legit. Take a man's word.

[Tyler]

I mean, everybody Did.

[Miles]

This is like the office episode where Michael gets caught in a pyramid scheme. And then he's like. Once he realizes it, he's like, I gotta go make a few calls. Ryan. Ryan has tickets to Fyre Fest 2. Yeah, right now. And he's like, oh, I gotta go make a few calls.

[Ryan]

I think. I think Antonio Brown's the only confirmed like celeb slash or. I don't know what AB is gonna be doing there, but I'm pretty sure I. I saw he's confirmed.

[Miles]

Okay, well, so I found this video that he posted. You just gotta listen to it.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

This is Billy McFarland. An update for Fire Fest 2.

[Jared]

Guys, quick fire update.

[Miles]

Two million dollar tickets are live and.

[Jared]

For sale right now on our website.

[Miles]

He has two one million dollar tickets for sale. What could possibly at a concert be worth $1 million? Do they just. Do they get right. Do they own the concert?

[Ryan]

I was gonna say either that or they. They now just own like a beat, like a concert front property or something.

[Tyler]

Yeah, they have to get ownership rights.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's something.

[Tyler]

Do this. Like they have to get a cut of the ticket sales.

[Miles]

So I don't know what that. And then this is. This is the first public fire ticket sales.

[Tyler]

Their pre sale last August, which sold.

[Jared]

Out in 24 hours. Since we secured the dates and locations.

[Tyler]

Last week, we've been working hard to put together what I think is the.

[Ryan]

Best festival lineup of all time.

[Miles]

Doesn't he not have anyone lined up?

[Ryan]

I only saw him. Tony.

[Miles]

It's gonna be the best lineup of all time. But he doesn't have anyone lined up yet.

[Tyler]

Antonio Brown's not an act either.

[Ryan]

Is he out?

[Miles]

He's.

[Tyler]

He's not a junior. Yeah.

[Miles]

Antonio Brown just goes out there and just catches balls out of a jug.

[Tyler]

No, he's just running routes for billy.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. One day ago. Is Fire Festival 2 happening? Two months out? Lineup remains unseen.

[Miles]

Wait, so it's in two months?

[Jared]

It's April 25th is happening.

[Tyler]

Oh, that's in less than a month.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Oh my gosh.

[Jared]

We should just watch this clip real quick. I think it's more context. It's just from the Today show.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Billy McFarland]

Fyre Festival 2 is happening April 25th of 2025. So we're seven and a half months away. We have a private island off the coast of Mexico in the Caribbean.

[Miles]

Have the conversations at least begun with any musical acts?

[Billy McFarland]

We haven't booked any talent for Fire 2 to be just music. For example, karate, combat. We're in talks with them to set up a pit to have like live fights. At Fyre Festival 2.

[Miles]

McFarlane says he's sold 100 tickets at $500 a piece. And packages will go on sale ranging from $1,400 to $1.1 million. What do you get for $1.1 million? Yeah.

[Billy McFarland]

So you will be on a boat, you'll be scuba diving with me. You'll be bouncing around to other islands and other countries on small planes.

[Miles]

You believe someone will pay $1.1 million for a Fyre Festival to experience?

[Billy McFarland]

So we put applications for the million dollar ticket up. A few months ago we had over 100 people applying.

[Ryan]

It sounds like. Why does he sound like a robot?

[Tyler]

I don't know.

[Jared]

This psycho.

[Miles]

Oh my God.

[Tyler]

He's gotta have some sort. I don't know, I can't diagnose. I'm not a therapist. But there's some disorder going on, right? It's some sort of.

[Jared]

Maybe narcissism.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Dissociative narcissism.

[Jared]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Miles]

I mean, if you had a bunch of things listed with boxes next to him. He checks all of them.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Dude, what's the. What's the like, like psycho psychological book that sells all that says all the disorders and stuff? There's like a certain, like, book that has. It's like an encyclopedia of mental disorders.

[Ryan]

It's his bio.

[Miles]

They just changed the title.

[Tyler]

Yeah, biopic the fire in my mind.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Now I think he's. Now he's gonna sell a bunch of tickets. Either he has sold tickets because it's people like, especially like people who do content. They're like, I want to buy this even if it's a dumpster fire. I'm gonna get great content out of this.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But also now, like, if he does make it a nice festival, it's like you're kind of going away from your brand. But also, I think it should be a running joke that people pay fourteen hundred dollars and then they get slices of cheese and they sleep in a tent, you know, like.

[Jared]

Or no tent this time.

[Miles]

Yeah, maybe no tent. Maybe it's bring your own sleeping bag.

[Tyler]

I think even if people buy this, it's another huge dupe, another disaster. Right. He has legal grounds to be like, what did you expect? There's multiple documentaries on what you were going to get.

[Miles]

Yeah, I think him. It's going to be a festival lineup like you've never seen and all that be dam.

[Tyler]

Have you ever seen a festival lineup with no lineup? That's true.

[Miles]

Yeah. I guess I've Never been to a festival where there's no axe. So that is a lineup like you've never seen before.

[Jared]

Exhibit.

[Tyler]

I think it might be legally safe this time.

[Ryan]

I mean, a lineup you've never seen because no one's ever seen it. No one's ever seen nobody. Right.

[Miles]

It's also just unseen also, if you pay a million dollars, you'll be on a boat scuba talking with McFar, with me hopping around. He's putting a valuation of scuba diving with him at a million dollars.

[Ryan]

Like I'd hope you would own, like depending on the boat, maybe own the boat and the, the puddle jumper around.

[Miles]

I think you get a nice fishing bo. A million bucks for sure.

[Ryan]

I mean you could get like a probably a four seater plane, a nice one for a million bucks.

[Jared]

Yeah. Don't you have to get like scuba certified before you go scuba diving?

[Miles]

Yeah, for sure.

[Tyler]

Maybe, Maybe not in international waters. I don't know. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Who knows?

[Miles]

Wouldn't that be funny? The way he goes down again is because he was having people scuba dive without their license or whatever. Like he goes to jail for that.

[Jared]

Gets dinged again.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scuba diving under suspension.

[Miles]

I wonder how many people in the next month they're gonna have to suck off people just to get water.

[Tyler]

Just keep people alive.

[Ryan]

Hopefully that's one of the best parts.

[Tyler]

Hopefully the people that are going took notes and are bringing their own sort of hydration and nutrition with them. Yeah, they got jerky and trail mix packs on their, in their backpack.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I mean, but I've seen a bunch of clips like him going on podcasts and like the stuff. I watched one podcast, I, I, I couldn't find the clip. But basically he started saying a bunch of stuff with his grin on his face and like the podcast interviewers were like getting mad at him and then he would kind of like realize it was turning on him and he was like, oh, I just like to get you guys riled up. It was so uncomfortable.

[Jared]

Yeah, I have a podcast clip kind of similar to that.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Jared]

What you said, but it's similar to that.

[Tyler]

How much do you owe?

[Billy McFarland]

It's like between 26 and 28 million kind of changes by the hour.

[Tyler]

So you do still have to pay this back. Yeah.

[Billy McFarland]

Every month I literally have to like give a check back to the investors and then they get a percentage of all the business revenue too.

[Tyler]

Did you ever in your wildest dreams think you'd be in the hole? $26 million.

[Billy McFarland]

I think it's just past the point of like being tangible.

[Miles]

Right.

[Billy McFarland]

It's just so much. So it's at least for me.

[Tyler]

Total hypothetical. I give you $10 million today. All. All through legal means. How long before you could double it?

[Billy McFarland]

Oh, God, I probably blow it in like three weeks.

[Tyler]

Oh, that's not what I wanted. To jail.

[Miles]

At least I'm honest. His time.

[Ryan]

He is.

[Miles]

How can he be the guy saying that it's gonna be the best lineup ever and then saying that he's gonna. Why is. Why is he so honest with Daniel Tosh?

[Ryan]

Yeah, that was.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's the most honest clip I've ever.

[Jared]

Yeah, he's gonna blow it on him.

[Ryan]

I probably blow it in three weeks. Like, dude, relax. You were in. How long was he in prison for, like eight months or couple years.

[Tyler]

I think he got a couple years.

[Ryan]

I think that maybe you.

[Jared]

He did. He did hit solitary confinement. He said too, during that time.

[Miles]

He's just pissing everyone off.

[Jared]

Well, apparently, like, he was trying to do a podcast from jail and he was like going on the pay phone trying to call.

[Tyler]

Dude, he got.

[Jared]

And he got thrown in the.

[Tyler]

He got six years, but he served just under four.

[Miles]

Jesus. And this is what we got after not only jail time, but solitary confinement. We got fire fest too. It's like putting him in jail didn't work.

[Jared]

No, not at all.

[Miles]

So what is the next option for Billy McFarlane?

[Tyler]

Rehab?

[Miles]

Well, no. I mean, I don't even know if that'll work.

[Tyler]

The man didn't learn his lesson. He needs to be reprogrammed somehow.

[Ryan]

I think he needs to move back in with his parents. Direct supervision.

[Miles]

Underneath, he needs a conservative ship. If there's anyone who needs a conservative. What is it called?

[Jared]

A conservative, like the Britney Spears thing.

[Miles]

It needs a Britney Spears deal.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Honestly, that's the last. That's what we need to go to.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Well, hey, like, the American people will trade McFarland for Britney Spears, get her out of hers, and we'll throw him back.

[Tyler]

Yeah, just a quick conservator, swap one to one trade.

[Miles]

Indiana Jones. When he, like, puts the bag a thing. When he takes the sand. The sand is just Billy McFarlane on there in the conservative conservatory.

[Tyler]

Conservatorship.

[Miles]

Conservatorship. Yeah. Sorry. I just can't believe it.

[Tyler]

I. You know, a little teeny bit of me respects it. Well, I mean, the man doesn't give up.

[Miles]

Well, he's, you know, we're. We're an absolutely anti backpedaling podcast and he is the definition of not backpedaling.

[Ryan]

No.

[Miles]

And so maybe he's more like us than we think.

[Jared]

He's very principled.

[Tyler]

Like, people preach to follow your dreams. Billy McFarland is doing it to a fault.

[Miles]

But also, he said he sends checks to investors every month. If you. If. I mean, $28 million, even if it was over 28 years, a million dollars a year, if he had to pay back is still 83, $333 a month he would have to send to people. Where is he getting that money, I don't think. Or is he just paying every bit of money that he gets?

[Jared]

I saw another clip. He said he's like doing marketing for venture capitalists with startups. That's how he says he's making money now.

[Ryan]

But was he making like, like 80 grand a year?

[Jared]

Exactly.

[Miles]

Yeah. He goes into like a startup. He goes into a startup and he's just like, they're. They're a startup for helping mothers track their baby's milk intake. Like one of those apps. Right? And he's like, I love what you guys are doing, but what if we did a milk milk festival fest? Milk fest? Where?

[Ryan]

Okay, hear me out. All lactating mothers on an island.

[Miles]

Well, you know, first of all, it has to be on an island. Yes. It can't be on a mainland of any sort. Can't be landlocked.

[Ryan]

No.

[Miles]

It needs to be the opposite. Can't even be on a peninsula.

[Tyler]

We're going to do it.

[Miles]

It needs to have water on all sides.

[Tyler]

No, no, no. We're going to do it on an island in a lake of milk.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Ryan]

Yes. Okay.

[Miles]

And we'll sell ten million dollar things. Ten million dollar tickets. And if they buy that, they can. They'll get to literally milk me. You buy a ten million dollar ticket. I. Well, one. They'll be on a boat.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

And then.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And then Whoever buys a 10 million dollar ticket can just go right from the tap.

[Tyler]

I have nipples. Can you milk me?

[Miles]

Yeah, just. I. I will go on hormone treatment and I will develop boobs and I will produce milk for the $10 million one. What do you guys think? And they're like, we'll give you all the money.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

And. And they'll have a lineup of lactation consultants like you've never seen.

[Miles]

Yeah, we had a lineup of lactation consultants because, you know, like, when you have a baby, there's like, they have like coffee things in town where, like, women can go talk to a lactation. Yeah. It's like, he's like, we're going to do that, but we're going to do it on an island, and we're going to charge everyone 1500 bucks to show up.

[Ryan]

Yeah. They show up. They're all.

[Miles]

Them and their babies are all going to sleep out underneath the stars.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. These ladies show up around coffee, like, and this festival. They're going to show up around the ocean. Let's take it to the next.

[Jared]

Ja Rule will be there for whatever reason.

[Ryan]

Will be there. Yeah.

[Miles]

My favorite part of that documentary is when they're, like, talking about when, like, the next terrible thing would pop up of, like, well, we don't have this. They said, like, because they were just, like, on a yacht. Billy would just get on his jet ski and disappear for, like, an hour. And then. And then just show back up and be like, all right, we're gonna do this and this. I just. Just. I don't know why that's so funny to me. Oh, okay, Bill, you got some bad news. And then he's like, just hold on a sec. He just. His life jacket on.

[Ryan]

We're out of gas. The eighth time I've taken this out today.

[Jared]

It's like a kid right away from home.

[Ryan]

Yeah. That's what I'm saying. He needs to be under the supervision of his mom and dad.

[Jared]

Yeah. Need something?

[Miles]

Yeah. What happened to this kid as a kid? What happened to Billy McFarland as a kid? That he is the way he is.

[Tyler]

He just read a ton of Tom Sawyer and thought that that was real life, that he could just con people into doing whatever he wanted.

[Miles]

Probably true.

[Ryan]

Like, if he wrote a book, like, legitimate, like, just laid out all of his issues and what happened. He could. He may be able to pay back that $28 million.

[Tyler]

At least more than he can being a marketing guy.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. I think he should know that wouldn't work. A biography, autobiography. Not gonna work, Ryan.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

He needs to make his own version of the Art of the Deal. He needs to lay out his philosophy.

[Tyler]

That would be the Art of the steel. Sure.

[Miles]

Correct.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You just. You just. You take the COVID from the Art of the Deal and you just swap his face in.

[Tyler]

Just cross out deal.

[Miles]

But he would. It would be him on a boat next to an island.

[Ryan]

That's true. Yeah. With the gen. Yep.

[Miles]

He probably has wrote a book. Probably wrote a book from jail.

[Tyler]

Probably.

[Miles]

It's. This is a classic, though. Anyone that goes to Fire Fest, there could be no complaining.

[Tyler]

No, exactly.

[Miles]

Right. It's like, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. That's. That's what's happening here if you go to Fire Fest 2.

[Tyler]

Billy McFarlane, known for the disastrous Fyre Festival, attempted to write a book and create a podcast while in prison, but was punished for these attempts with solitary confinement.

[Miles]

Okay, here we go.

[Tyler]

So he did try to write the book.

[Miles]

So I.

[Ryan]

That is one thing that stopped him from doing something. Solitary confinement.

[Miles]

Yeah. Who knows? Get it?

[Ryan]

I mean, yeah, maybe he's in with the cartels. That's why they're going on in Mexico.

[Tyler]

Maybe.

[Ryan]

Could be in with the cartels.

[Jared]

He's not that far fetched.

[Ryan]

It could have. I mean, it could have all like the. The festival.

[Miles]

He's an industry plant for cartel.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

All the patrons that could just be doing his dirty work for him, you know.

[Miles]

Who are the people funding this? It's got to be.

[Tyler]

No one's funding it. That's the problem with the first one.

[Miles]

He's got like, people working. He says that he's working with.

[Ryan]

He's got a lineup never seen.

[Tyler]

That's what he said last time, too.

[Miles]

What. What if there is people backing Fyre Fest too? You know, it's. It's basically just a dinner for schmuck situation.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

Just super rich people be like, all right, we're going to play a round of golf. Whoever loses has to invest in. They're like $28 million round of golf down the drain.

[Ryan]

So official investors hadn't been publicly named, but he's.

[Jared]

Of course they're not.

[Ryan]

He's partnered with companies like soldout.com and Friendly sky for ticket and hospitality packages.

[Miles]

Just sounds so fake and made up.

[Ryan]

I mean, it's probably his website, to be honest.

[Jared]

Or he's going through a buddy and his buddy's like, negotiating with these people or something like that.

[Ryan]

Negotiating for a festival that they don't even know is Fire Festival.

[Jared]

Could be, yeah.

[Ryan]

Wow.

[Tyler]

I can't wait to see how it ungold.

[Miles]

So there's got to be one artist, though. That's like it. I'll do Firefist.

[Tyler]

Who would do it.

[Miles]

But. But they wouldn't because then they would be worried that they don't get paid. That's like the biggest thing. Why you couldn't. There's no way he's able to book talent.

[Ryan]

I mean, I could see like Takashi69 and maybe maybe rolling up. Yeah.

[Tyler]

The Island Boys.

[Jared]

Oh, that's beautiful.

[Ryan]

They would do it.

[Miles]

They need.

[Tyler]

They need any sort of exposure.

[Miles]

Theyo. Our boy Kevin could do it.

[Ryan]

Who's lan? What's lanco?

[Miles]

They're the. We talked about them country duo. They have a new song by the way.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's sad, isn't it?

[Miles]

Yeah. Fire though. That's why I need to go Fire Fest too. So I just thought I'd. If you guys. If Listers didn't know Fire Fest 2 is happening now you do and it's. I can't believe it.

[Jared]

We should send Ryan to Firefox.

[Miles]

Like we, like I. That's. What's gonna happen is people go. Is going to be people like us that are like investigative reporting of like what. What's actually happening.

[Ryan]

It's gonna be awesome.

[Miles]

Would you go if I bought you a fifteen hundred dollar ticket to Fire Fest? Would you go?

[Ryan]

I would go if I had the ticket purchase. Plus plus like a like secured backup plan. So like a ride from festival. You want the logistics to all inclusive or like somewhere I can just get the out.

[Miles]

Okay. So. Okay, well first of all, an exit strategy. I love how, I love how he's like, if it's. If it's no go, I at least need an all inclusive resort. It's not that I need a plane ticket home to come back. Like I'm going to take my vacation.

[Jared]

Part of the steel.

[Miles]

What a negotiation by you. I'll go if you book a seven day all inclusive resort for me. So if it's bad, I can hang out there, lay low for seven days and then come home.

[Ryan]

It's gonna take at least six days for the mental trauma to wear off.

[Tyler]

Ryan would call day one, he's like, yeah, total boss. Fire Fest not happening. And then three weeks later we'll be like, Fire Fest 2, smashing success. Ryan just doesn't even go. He just goes straight to the resort.

[Ryan]

Ye.

[Miles]

Oh man. So. Well, well, well. Maybe keep a little tiny update as it gets closer. Anything, Any news that we see. But ladies and gentlemen, also this podcast is brought to you by Fire Fest 2. So only a few weeks left to get your tickets. I heard that it's booking up quick and so head to your local hardware store, pick up a sleeping bag and get on down to that island in.

[Jared]

Mexico that we don't know where.

[Miles]

That we. Yeah, we don't know where it is. We don't know. We know roughly when it is. So we do have that information. We don't know who's going to be there and we don't know any accommodations. But again, this podcast brought to you by Fyre Fest 2, I haven't been paying yet. Told me that we were gonna get paid for this plug, but who knows?

[Tyler]

Maybe we're one of the acts.

[Miles]

Yeah. Tyler, we were gonna reveal that in the next episode.

[Tyler]

Yeah, but we gotta. We'll see if we get paid.

[Miles]

We're headlining Saturday night at Fire Fest 2.

[Ryan]

I mean, think about it, like, do.

[Tyler]

The top three worst things about Private Island.

[Ryan]

Think about that. You could be on a boat with Billy McFarlane.

[Miles]

Scuba diving, literally suck McFarland's tits and get some milk at Fire Fest 2. You could be. You could be nursed by Billy at Fire Fest 2. And what's crazy is like, that sounds absurd, but like, it doesn't exist. So you could just say you're gonna do anything.

[Ryan]

It's like, correct.

[Miles]

Yeah. You could go skydiving with Billy McFarlane.

[Ryan]

Well, they end. Yeah.

[Tyler]

And then you just. You just jump off the boat. He's like, yeah, it's kind of skydiving.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. It gives you a. Gives you umbrella to jump down with.

[Tyler]

Mary Poppins.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's like what you think you're getting versus what you actually do at Fire Fest. I think you're going skydiving, but in reality you're just jumping off the dock with an umbrella anyways. So that's what's going. That's what's occupied my mind the last couple days.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I don't know how it can't. Which wait for that lineup to drop.

[Miles]

I can't wait for that lineup.

[Ryan]

We already had one location change.

[Miles]

Really?

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. There was a locate. He changed locations like last week.

[Jared]

I did see an article like, Mexico tourism's like, this isn't happening. We don't know what's going on with it. Yeah.

[Ryan]

A private island, though.

[Miles]

Yeah. The Mexico wouldn't know because it's private.

[Jared]

That's true.

[Ryan]

It'd be insane. You show up to this island, you're like, wow, this. I've seen this island before on the news.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Here we go. Fire. The title of the article, Fire Festival 2 doesn't exist, says Mexican Tourism Board.

[Ryan]

Festival 2 is off to a rough start. After Mexican tourism are claimed. The event doesn't actually exist.

[Miles]

For us. This is an event that does not exist.

[Tyler]

This is. Yeah. This was posted on March 6th.

[Miles]

That is bad news for. For all the. The Farland Heads. McFarland Heads out there. Actually, I call them the Billy goats because Billy is the goat.

[Jared]

Yeah. And you can milk a goat.

[Ryan]

Yes, you can.

[Miles]

What else is going on?

[Tyler]

I have a bone to pick.

[Ryan]

Pick the bone.

[Tyler]

The price of eggs is pissing me off. And not for the reason you think I price of groceries go up and down. That's fine, whatever.

[Miles]

But yeah, the thing that I think of is that they're really high, right?

[Tyler]

They are really high. And most people will complain about the price of eggs too high. I am pissed off about it because my wife wants chickens because of it. Really, really bad. Oh, she is begging for me to build her a chicken coop.

[Ryan]

Well, because she knows that she can't have a garden.

[Tyler]

She can. The garden's a go. She's kept all of her plants alive. Oh, all of my excuses out the window. Garden is a go. But now we're on to chickens.

[Miles]

Okay, but here's.

[Tyler]

And I just. That's the last thing I want.

[Miles]

See, for me, I view this as an opportunity for you. You're a prepper.

[Ryan]

That's true.

[Miles]

It would be nice to have some chickens in the coop come commercial law situation. Yeah, that would be nice. Plus, you also. All you could talk about since you moved into this new house is your. Is your garage. And you've been talking about using the tools and the belt sander and the.

[Tyler]

Table saw San of palm sanding.

[Miles]

This is the. This is a great opportunity for you to just do a project. You've been begging for a project.

[Tyler]

I got plenty of projects, and that's the problem. I've been doing so many projects. She's like, oh, he can build me a coupe, no problem. Even though I don't want to build a coop, period.

[Miles]

Why not?

[Tyler]

Because, dude, chickens are loud and stinky and time consuming.

[Ryan]

You don't need to build a coop, though. You just build, like, a doggy door on the outside of your garage.

[Tyler]

I don't want them in my garage. That's my happy place.

[Ryan]

Because I also think that chickens are immune to exhaust, smoke, carbon monoxide.

[Miles]

Yeah. When you're.

[Tyler]

When I start my car in there.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And you know, it's my sister's fault because she. For some reason, right now, every woman in my family wants a chicken coop. My sister, she just did it. She just went and bought a chicken coop off of Facebook marketplace and then told her husband to go buy some chicks from the. The farm.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And she's got.

[Tyler]

They started it, so why not.

[Ryan]

Why don't you just get the eggs from her?

[Tyler]

That's what I've been telling her. I'm like, we don't need. It's the same thing as having a boat in the Midwest. You don't need a chicken coop. You just need to know somebody with one.

[Ryan]

Dude.

[Miles]

And what have you found out, though? That, like, your sister and her husband are just going through eggs. You know what I mean? Like, they're, they, they don't have any to give you.

[Tyler]

Oh, they will.

[Miles]

No, I'm saying, like, that's like, that's how many eggs you're like, how?

[Tyler]

I could see my wife and my sister colluding, being like, hey, don't sell us any of your. Tyler needs to think you don't have any extra conspiracy.

[Miles]

My neighbors in, in Fargo have a.

[Tyler]

Chicken coop with chickens in town.

[Ryan]

Really?

[Tyler]

No.

[Miles]

I don't know if I'm outing them and that. They can't.

[Tyler]

No, you can.

[Miles]

Like yesterday, I think they were cleaning the coupe. Great band name.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is.

[Miles]

They were cleaning the coop and they're just letting them roam around the yard. They were just like in the little ravine behind my house and.

[Ryan]

Yeah, like, I, like next door neighbor.

[Miles]

A couple doors down the backyard that.

[Ryan]

I mean, I feel like they're pretty domestic. I, I was driving home the other day, there was just a group of chickens in the ditch. I don't know who they belong to road hunting them. I was not. Luckily not. No. Otherwise. Yeah, they've been in the back end.

[Miles]

I, I, I don't, I don't think you should naysay this.

[Jared]

I just, I'm so, I'm surprised by your act.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's what I said. That's why I'm like, so confused.

[Tyler]

I just, I. Are any of your guys's wives obsessed with chickens right now, or is it just the women in my family?

[Ryan]

I mean, my wife is throwing out the idea, but it's, it's more so just because, like, we could if we wanted to. So she just likes the idea of it, but would never do it.

[Miles]

Yeah, I've heard a lot of my friends talk about. I got a buddy who is like, he's actually, he's hell bent on getting getting chicken coop started.

[Tyler]

It's just, I don't want the chickens. They annoy me.

[Ryan]

What? Okay, so that's why you don't want them, is because they annoy you.

[Tyler]

Yeah, well, and they're like, also, it takes them four months to start land, especially if you get chicks. And then you got to heat them and feed them and build this coop and make sure they survive the winter. And then in the winter they stop producing as much. So then it's like you just got all these chickens running around as your pets. I don't want that.

[Ryan]

Your kids would love that, though. I know, but your kid loves picking dog up. Imagine what he would Brew. Imagine the, the feeling.

[Miles]

She'd geek out.

[Ryan]

Dude, he would love that.

[Tyler]

I think, I think if, if we can find a spot far enough away from the house, as I was gonna say, maybe I'll consider it quarter of the lot. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Dude, you have also have an old spearhouse. I know you want to use it, but for the time being, you could convert.

[Tyler]

It's teeny.

[Miles]

And the other thing is, like, just build like a nice containment for the chickens. Then you don't even have to worry about them running around the yard.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we would anyway build like a.

[Miles]

A cage of some sort that you could just keep them in there.

[Tyler]

Just coop them up. Yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

Some wire chicken.

[Tyler]

I just, I couldn't be more out on owning chicken.

[Miles]

Also, I've always wanted to use chicken wire for something.

[Tyler]

The thing is, is like that when we bought the house and, and I.

[Miles]

Just occurred to me that I could just build a Cooper.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That's where I could get my chicken wire fixed.

[Tyler]

So when we bought the house, an older couple had it, and old people would just make junk piles in their woods, you know, And Ryan. Yeah, and Ryan, we were walking in our woods and in one of the junk piles, ton of chicken wire. I was like, God, I was walking with my wife. I'm like, don't look at it. Don't look at that pile.

[Miles]

Just do it.

[Tyler]

I don't want the chicken.

[Ryan]

Tyler, there's chicken coops on Marketplace. Here's one right in your area. That's 500 bucks. That's kind of a spendy. 275 chicken coop. Vargas.

[Miles]

Well, here's the question is when is, when are chicken price. When our egg price is going to go down again.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Jared]

I don't think ever you, I, I.

[Miles]

Isn'T it isn't the reason why chicken prices are higher is because they had to kill like 150 million. Flu. Bird flu. So once we get past that, it should go down again.

[Jared]

Correct.

[Tyler]

We get the population back up, maybe something like that.

[Ryan]

I think there are some nice chicken coops out here. Like, aesthetically pleasing.

[Tyler]

I know. My wife shows them to me. She sends me chicken coop tick tocks.

[Miles]

So how much. So how many eggs you go through and what price per egg are we talking?

[Jared]

There we go.

[Miles]

Let's break it down.

[Tyler]

Like, are we saying that I currently.

[Miles]

Consume you just like, how many eggs would you guys buy as a family a week?

[Tyler]

Maybe a dozen.

[Miles]

Okay, so we'll go a dozen. And how much is a dozen right now?

[Jared]

Seven bucks.

[Tyler]

650. Seven bucks.

[Miles]

Seven bucks. You bought a $250 chicken coop, so you're spending how much? Seven. What is it?

[Tyler]

Let's say 28 bucks a month on eggs.

[Miles]

So if you bought a 280, it would take you 10 months. You make your money back.

[Tyler]

Okay. But also we have to keep them heated, so you got to have electric. You gotta and. And feed them and water them.

[Miles]

Okay. So we'll round it up to 35amonth.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

So you recoup your money. Recoup in less than 10 months then that's a good.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it. I could build it for cheaper, but I don't want to build it.

[Ryan]

Yeah, no, you don't want to build it.

[Tyler]

No.

[Miles]

Oh, no more than 10 months. Sorry.

[Jared]

Maybe 13 months. It's.

[Tyler]

I think it genuine. In the winter you're going to have the heating costs are going to be pretty high.

[Jared]

Could do a solar panel.

[Tyler]

Could. But then I got to buy a solar panel and then my price keeps going higher. I just. It's also. I don't think.

[Ryan]

Or you could get that baseboard heater hardwired.

[Tyler]

I'd have to hire someone to hardwire that in for them.

[Miles]

It is like it is if you start doing the math. If you're only going through a dozen eggs a week because I said $35, it's 20. Then it drops your car or how much money you're saving down and then labor just upkeeping it like you're saving $20 a month for all this extra work is something to think about. Now, if you like the taste of real eggs and you don't know what's going up and you truly organic eggs and all that, that's fine.

[Tyler]

Which is another reason to support my argument of we just need to know somebody that has their own chickens, which my sister now has her own chicken coop and our next door neighbors have chickens. So, like they're still 200 yards away, but they're not. They're the closest people to us and they have a chicken coop. So we could just go make friends with them and see if they're willing to sell eggs.

[Miles]

Okay. But you see, the problem is, Tyler, is you gotta play a lot. You can't just go over there, make friends with them and then be like, oh, I see you got a chicken coop. There has to be like at least a two month span in there that you're gonna have to bite the bullet on not bringing up the chickens, because otherwise you've only made friends with them just for their chicken.

[Tyler]

What if. What's wrong with me knocking on the door. Be like, do you guys have eggs for sale? I see you have a chicken coop.

[Miles]

Yeah. You go the for sale route and you just pray and hope because then they're gonna start charging you. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Hey, you know, we're baking muffins over there next door. We ran out of eggs, wondering if you guys had a couple extra.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Or do like a housewarming party. Like, hey, you guys are invited. Kind of like plant the seeds.

[Tyler]

They don't pop over while we were moving in to say hi.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Miles]

Yeah. So maybe invite them. There's what. This is what you do. This is. This is foolproof. Invite him over for brunch eggs. And we're not. And we're not talking brunch. Like, you know, everyone sits down. You're gonna do buffet style, and you're gonna need to stand there and you're gonna need to man the omelet bar. And the whole time, while everyone's ordering their almonds, you need to be kind of bitching about the price of eggs.

[Tyler]

No, no, I gotta do it with only, like, five eggs and then run out.

[Miles]

Yeah, and be like, yeah, yeah, double it. Right? It's like, so we could only afford five eggs. So everyone can have about a half a egg omelet. And then when clearly they'll be upset and then just be like, yeah, but that's just where we're at. It's where we're at.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

State of the Union. State of the union is. Is we got five eggs and you.

[Jared]

Have, like, five bottles of champagne sitting in the corner.

[Tyler]

Shit ton of orange juice, fucking hash.

[Miles]

Browns out that yin yang. But you only got five eggs. Not even a half dozen. You guys can even get a half dozen.

[Tyler]

Well, they sell eggs in, like, the carton of four, don't they?

[Billy McFarland]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

Anyways, you buy. Yeah. You know, like when you go to a liquor store, you can just buy, like, single cans of beer. Tyler had to go to the single egg thing in the fridge and just pull it out. Slides the.

[Tyler]

The. Build your own carton.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you have one of those big ass, like, rectangular, rectangular warmers. And you're like, all right, you know everyone. You can start digging in and then, like, make sure one of that. Your neighbors is the first one in line when they crack it open. There's only one. There's only one fried egg in there. It's like, yeah, sorry for, you know, sorry for the egg situation. It's just the times are tough.

[Miles]

1. So there's two options that could have you, it's a win win for you. One, there's three options. One, they're okay. They don't say anything. They eat their thing. You saved a bunch of money on eggs by not having to buy a full dozen. Two, they bring up would we have our own chickens? Well, we'll just run over there. And then you start the conversation like, oh, you know, what would it take for us? You know, get in on that great scenario. The third one is, is they get pissed at you and then you. You don't have them always meddling in your shit and they don't ever come back. So it's just win, win.

[Tyler]

I cannot lose in this scenario.

[Miles]

Correct. So I think you host a brunch with an omelet bar with five eggs.

[Tyler]

I like it.

[Miles]

And then like the universe can't keep you from a good scenario if you do that.

[Ryan]

It's an undefeated situation.

[Tyler]

It really is. I'm trying to find a loophole right now.

[Jared]

It's like having a pizza party with one P or no, half a cheese.

[Miles]

Three slices of pizza.

[Ryan]

Here's the other way you could look at it too. You want to teach your kid good values, obviously hard work being one of them. Like what family in a time of expensive eggs wouldn't want to buy, let's say the same price for a dozen eggs but from your kids.

[Tyler]

And farm fresh they got to raise chickens themselves.

[Ryan]

Set of a lemonade stand. You send your kids out there with six dozen eggs.

[Miles]

You have a chicken stand.

[Ryan]

You pay that off maybe one afternoon.

[Miles]

And you never know, it could be your kid could have the next chick Fil A. It's like he could find. Don't know the wheels that you start spinning.

[Ryan]

He could cure the bird flu or.

[Tyler]

Cause a new strain.

[Miles]

But then. But he wouldn't allow his birds to get fluid.

[Jared]

Yeah. You know how to vaccine.

[Ryan]

He's getting flu shot.

[Tyler]

I do know how to vaccinate turkeys. I'm sure chickens is a similar.

[Ryan]

You just got to give them influenza A shots.

[Tyler]

But then I can't say that they're non the steroid free eggs.

[Jared]

Yeah, but who cares?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Not tell them that.

[Miles]

You don't say steroid free. You just. What did they say? Like steroids 99 steroids.

[Jared]

Or just say they're free range chickens.

[Miles]

Yeah, just say that they're like 70 steroid free.

[Ryan]

Meanwhile Tyler's got him like chained up by the neck in the chicken coop. Those keep running away. I'm sick of them.

[Tyler]

I don't charge them for the range. It's free.

[Ryan]

Here's what you can do, too. You could do, like, you could show, like, before and after from just. Just eating these chicken eggs. Like, you're. Take a picture of your kid when he's like, one, and then a picture when he's five and, like, see how much bigger he's gotten.

[Tyler]

Just change the date.

[Ryan]

Like, this kid's only eating these eggs and he's, you know, he's a grown boy. Arguably, like, arguably some of the best gains in the 10,000 photo before and.

[Miles]

After of little Hercules. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

Year one to year three, he tripled in size because of these eggs.

[Ryan]

Exactly.

[Jared]

You post that on Bodybuilder Tech Talk. Profits go through.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. Every morning with his, you know, with. With the old. The old breast milk, we. We just crack one of the eggs, toss it in there, shake it up, and. Yeah, off we go. I think. I think the bodybuilders is the way to go.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I have tried to convince my wife to sell her extra stash of milk to bodybuilders.

[Miles]

How'd that conversation go?

[Tyler]

Didn't go well.

[Miles]

Okay, well, then sell her. I will build you a coupe if you start selling your breast milk tomatoes. It's just.

[Tyler]

I mean, that's what marriage is all about.

[Miles]

Just. I'm just. I'm just building win, win, win, win, win situation.

[Tyler]

You should get on The Fyre Fest 2 board.

[Jared]

I know.

[Miles]

I should be. I just got to build win, win, win situations.

[Tyler]

You And Farley, for $1 million, you get to check out the coop. Yeah.

[Ryan]

$1 million.

[Tyler]

You.

[Ryan]

You get a chicken out of the.

[Tyler]

Coop, you get to pick it.

[Miles]

No, no.

[Ryan]

You're the price of eggs.

[Miles]

You pay to hang out with Billy McFarlane in a chicken.

[Tyler]

You get to mil. In a chicken co. You get to.

[Ryan]

Watch a chicken milk Billy McFarland. It's an act like you've never seen before.

[Jared]

Coming on Netflix in two years.

[Ryan]

Here we go.

[Miles]

Wouldn't it be funny if we found out that Firefest 2 was funded by Netflix just so that they could just get another document out of the deal?

[Jared]

That's conceivable.

[Ryan]

Yes. Yes. It's not a bad. Not a bad move by Netflix.

[Jared]

Netflix could be the main.

[Miles]

It's like, yes, spend, you know, $50 million on a show or spend $50 million on Fire Fest 2 and then just document it and you got your.

[Tyler]

But they can't spend that much, otherwise it'll be a success, and then the show sucks.

[Ryan]

That's true.

[Jared]

Said one camera guy.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

That'S all you Need I, I.

[Miles]

If Fyre Fest 2 was like this, what do you think Fyre Fest 3 is gonna be like?

[Tyler]

I can't wait.

[Miles]

Two million dollar tickets. You get to hang out with Billy McFarland at the, at the ISS, the International Space Station.

[Tyler]

From Mars in a private hawking bay.

[Ryan]

We'll be hopping from planet to planet.

[Tyler]

Terraform.

[Jared]

Mars with Billy.

[Tyler]

What is a million dollars? Well, you're gonna be on a show ship. A spaceship?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Less than a month out.

[Miles]

Can't wait. What do you got going on, Brian?

[Ryan]

Dude, I, I, I'm in a massive predicament right now.

[Tyler]

Oh boy.

[Ryan]

And, and I don't want some advice. I actually need some good advice. This is important here.

[Tyler]

What do you mean? We always. What do you mean?

[Miles]

I gave Tyler great advice. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you did. So we're off to a good start. I'm glad I went second. Okay, so I got this, this like gala type event. You're going.

[Miles]

Oh yeah.

[Ryan]

I got this gala event at the end of, end of April. And the, the attire sl theme is like formal western, which in my head is, is cowboy hat, cowboy boots. Like a nice suit. Maybe, Maybe a bolo. Yeah. Probably a bologna. I, I don't own any of this, nor do I want to spend, you know, 500 bucks on boots, hat. And in this type of event, I, I can't just order a hat from Amazon. I need a nice hat. I need a nice boots. But the like the western ranching community is it, that's one community that I don't want to be an imposter of because they can sniff you out immediately. I've thrown bales three times in my life. I don't think it constitutes for me like throwing a cow hat on.

[Jared]

You're right.

[Miles]

So you don't have to wear a cowboy hat, I don't think.

[Ryan]

Thank God. Okay. Boots.

[Miles]

I'm, I probably won't.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

I was just going to say.

[Ryan]

You shouldn't have said. I would have showed up.

[Tyler]

Damn it.

[Miles]

It's like it just ends up looking like Woody. He shows up in plaid.

[Jared]

The yellow checker.

[Miles]

The yellow checker.

[Tyler]

He's got a snake poking out of his boot.

[Miles]

He's got spurs on his cowboy boots.

[Ryan]

Okay. Cuz this is like, I mean, it's, it's a event. It raised a lot of money for a good cause. And to me.

[Miles]

Do you want me to call spade a spade here, Ryan?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So this is what I would just call urban cowboy.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

So it's just a bunch of people who live in the city who watch Yellowstone once.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

That think it looks cool to wear western stuff because it's popular right now.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Okay.

[Miles]

So I. Well, one, you're not going to run any to any real ranchers at this thing. One.

[Ryan]

All right.

[Jared]

Arrived.

[Miles]

And two, I mean it's. To me this is like, it's like a costume party.

[Ryan]

Okay. Because I also didn't want to show up looking like a joke, you know.

[Miles]

You didn't want to buy a woody costume. What I mean by cos it's like a, it's like a, it's like a liveaction role play as a costume party.

[Ryan]

It's tasteful too though.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. Just wear some jeans, a button up sport coat, cowboy boots and a bolo tie. I got a pair of cowboy boots.

[Jared]

There you go.

[Ryan]

Well, see I was gonna buy those cowboy boots. Last time I was in Nashville it was like I don't 1am I got a pair. Wife wouldn't let me. She talked me out of it.

[Tyler]

I've got a pair that I wore just to my wedding. Yeah, you can borrow those.

[Ryan]

You have to check the size on those. I might have to snag them from you Elevens. I think I actually might borrow.

[Miles]

I literally just offered him a pair of combo boots.

[Ryan]

Oh, you did?

[Miles]

And then Tyler offered, he's like offered.

[Jared]

Him the bullet tie.

[Tyler]

Oh, I thought you were offering that too.

[Miles]

Oh, I don't have bolo tie.

[Jared]

Oh, I thought that's what you said.

[Miles]

No. Yeah, I got, I got boots. You.

[Tyler]

I also got a, I have a pearl snap that I've worn once in my life.

[Miles]

You don't know what a pearl snap.

[Tyler]

Like a cowboy shirt.

[Ryan]

I'm not a cowboy button shirt.

[Tyler]

I've worn it like twice.

[Ryan]

Oh, I think I've seen. Is it blue?

[Tyler]

No. Oh, it's, it's. I, I'll find it.

[Miles]

Okay. So the ranchy community can, can correct me if I'm wrong here but I think it's only stolen valor if you wear that as like regular. If you just go out with friends or just wear it on a regular basis, that's true. But if it's an event that has a specific attire that is western wear, I think you're in the clear.

[Jared]

Yeah. If you wear a cowboy hat to the bar randomly, that'd be such an move.

[Ryan]

Yes, it would correct. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, maybe I've just been overthinking.

[Miles]

Also not to brag a T shirt. Guys going to a gala or is it a gala or a gala or what is it?

[Ryan]

I think it's a gala. There's no. I thought it was a gay accent gala. Could be. Yeah.

[Jared]

I don't know.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I've always heard gala.

[Ryan]

I. You know, Gayle, maybe.

[Miles]

Maybe gala.

[Jared]

Anyways, very progressive.

[Miles]

I don't think Ryan and I should be going to this gala if we don't know how to pronounce it.

[Tyler]

It.

[Ryan]

You know, probably not.

[Miles]

If anything, imposter syndrome is us going to a charity event.

[Ryan]

That's true. That's true. Maybe I've. I've been thinking about it wrong the whole time. It's just.

[Miles]

We are going to this event. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, not that I'd spend them at the event. I could just bring a bunch of like. Just stuff a bunch of fake bills in my wallet, like hunds and you know, like my, like my wallet protrudes like six inches from my back pocket. It. Yeah. Here for the gala. The gala. Here for a good time. Not gonna be a long time, but throw some money down.

[Jared]

The guy's like, well, I brought my.

[Ryan]

Bought a little bit.

[Tyler]

So this.

[Jared]

I brought my checkbook.

[Tyler]

This gala or gala, is that gonna be your first time drinking?

[Jared]

Good question.

[Ryan]

No, that's been broken.

[Tyler]

You broke it.

[Ryan]

That was broken it. That was broken last Wednesday, actually.

[Tyler]

Wednesday, middle of the week. Booze cruise.

[Ryan]

Wow. Yeah. The. Oh, probably the only scenario that would have got me to drink. So we moved in the new house a month and a half ago. Neighbor across the river, farmer, buddies with my banker, Miles's banker. And then another like, mutual friend of ours and get a text at 9:15pm them like, I'm in my underwear about to start a show. I'll get a text, said, hey from the neighbor. He's like, hey, me. And so and so and so and so and so and so are having a couple beers in the shop if you want to come over.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And I'm like, I gotta go. I have to go.

[Tyler]

Otherwise you can't especially. First invite.

[Ryan]

Exactly.

[Tyler]

Yes. Third, fourth, maybe you can't tonight.

[Ryan]

Yep. So I went over there, I put you guys. I packed 10 beers in my cooler. For what reason? I don't know. I maybe assumed just going to pass them out to everybody as if they didn't have any beer over there already.

[Jared]

Better bring too much than not enough.

[Ryan]

Exactly. I. I ended up drinking two beers. Headache. Next morning. No, like the slowest start to a morning I've had in. In months. And that was that.

[Miles]

We.

[Ryan]

We. We broke the streak. But for. For good reason.

[Miles]

How many days?

[Jared]

How many days?

[Ryan]

Let's see, 75 plus eight. So 83 days. It would have been on the 83rd day. But that's okay. Again, it's like, you know, that's okay.

[Tyler]

That's eight more days than everyone else that did.

[Ryan]

Can you imagine if it would have been on day? On like the night of day 75? It's like, yeah, I'll be over at a little after midnight. Yeah. Or day 99 or even day 74.

[Tyler]

I would have just been like, can't. Gotta go. I'm not at my house right now. I'm just hid.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Sick kid. Wife's out of town. Parents kicked the parents out of the house last week so no one will watch him. Don't trust the dog to watch the, the little one yet. So.

[Miles]

Well, then he goes bring him over.

[Ryan]

He doesn't, he's not a big fan of car rides. He's like, well, walk over you at.

[Miles]

9Pm he's scared of the dark.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't like the dark. We don't have a yard light out here yet.

[Jared]

So he bites.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I can't find his le.

[Tyler]

What a perfect way to never get invited again. Can't come over to drink beers because my kid can't find his leash.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I can't find his leash backpack. So. Yeah, we broke that one. Also. One other thing. Went to the, went to my first rodeo this last weekend.

[Tyler]

Hell yeah. It looks fun.

[Miles]

He's trying, he went to this rodeo to try and be like, People will be like, oh, you're wearing western wearing. He's like, I go to rodeos.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I wore my Windsor quarters zip or my quarter button up. And I don't know. I, I wore, I also have a Hell Creek cattle hat. Like a snapback. Wore that.

[Tyler]

Nice.

[Ryan]

I, I, I definitely think I could have passed for someone who's thrown bales at least 10 times.

[Jared]

Not three.

[Ryan]

Not three.

[Tyler]

What was your favorite event?

[Ryan]

My favorite event probably the bull riding, but okay.

[Tyler]

Barrel racers.

[Ryan]

Yeah, barrel racers. That was also, that was, that was, that was probably the most electric event because it lasted longest. Meaning being like the best time was 12 seconds. 12.7 seconds.

[Tyler]

It is.

[Ryan]

Everything else is 8 seconds or less.

[Tyler]

It is frustrating. Like, even like calf roping. It's just. You're just waiting for the next guy more than you're actually watching the event.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It happens for, yeah. Three, four seconds.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

But the guy like the, so they have like, I'll call them like Usher horses. So it's like the horses. Horses that if like one of the, like Broncos or the, the, the bulls, like get out of hand. They kind of like, like usher them back in the deal. They also when, if a guy goes longer than eight seconds and can't like get his hand out, they are like right next to the bronco and the, the rider fucking jumps off his horse and like grabs onto them and that's how he gets off. It's fucking unbelievable.

[Tyler]

Yeah, cowboying is wild. It's a cur west.

[Ryan]

I, it's the wild west.

[Tyler]

So my, my financial advisor used to be a bull rider and so he's told me stories about that. And like some of the, they like the injuries they get practicing and stuff is crazy. You got to be one of the toughest alive.

[Ryan]

I understand it.

[Miles]

Also one of the most insane.

[Tyler]

Yes. Because like you could total adrenaline seeker.

[Miles]

There's a, there's a fine line between being tough and being insane. Think that dance with pop riders ride.

[Jared]

Even the rodeo clowns too.

[Ryan]

Yeah. So that was a good time.

[Miles]

You do any mutton busting while you're there?

[Ryan]

No busting of mutton.

[Miles]

Funny. We show up, we don't know Ryan's there. We just see him on a.

[Jared]

He.

[Tyler]

Goes, goes 6.7 on a sheet.

[Ryan]

I'm just like in my kids corner. My kids, like not even three yet. I just got him on a mut mutton bus. An event.

[Miles]

Isn't that like. Yeah, I'll do that.

[Ryan]

That did three year olds hop on.

[Tyler]

I don't know, the youngest age, I would say five is probably closer.

[Ryan]

I mean, if you're gonna get chickens, you might as well get some sheep. Your son's fine.

[Miles]

And if you get sheep, you might as well get horses.

[Tyler]

No, one of the videos she sent me, it was some guy like warning you, if your wife starts asking about chickens, this is what the rest of your life will be like. And it goes chickens, goats, horses.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Which pretty damn close.

[Tyler]

I, I, if we get to horses, you guys, I've given up.

[Miles]

Or you're like living a happy, fulfilled life because you love horses.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I don't love horses.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Have you ever owned a horse?

[Tyler]

I've never owned them. I've written.

[Miles]

How do you know if you love owning a horse or not?

[Tyler]

I, I've ridden.

[Miles]

You just gotta try. Dude, this is the, this is the year of the. Yes. For this podcast.

[Jared]

Just tell your wife, save a horse, ride a cowboy.

[Tyler]

Hey, I do have a pearl. Snapping boots.

[Miles]

Save a chicken, ride a cowboy. Yeah.

[Ryan]

You walk in that bedroom, Tyler, with your bolo tie and your snap. Your pearl snap. Shirt on.

[Miles]

Just the bolo.

[Ryan]

Just.

[Tyler]

But the bolo boots.

[Ryan]

But the bolo is not around your neck. It's around.

[Miles]

Still around your head, though.

[Tyler]

Why is it still around your head? Why is that bolo tie vibrating? Good question.

[Ryan]

Just got some new jewels.

[Miles]

Also, we just got a great new idea for rings. Yeah, I didn't even think about hitting the western market. Could maybe have a little feather sticking off.

[Tyler]

Studded.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's got a feathery for your pleasure.

[Tyler]

Got a little.

[Miles]

Little tickler. Little feather tickler.

[Tyler]

You got the horseshoe. We've got the. The cattle skull.

[Miles]

Huh?

[Ryan]

Yeah, you got. You got a couple spur spurs hanging off of it. And then. And then you got one of those. Those waistband deals that they. They. They tie around the horses or the bulls to get them to start bucking. You got one of them stuck around.

[Miles]

Your waist, just tied around your nuts.

[Tyler]

Spurred for her pleasure.

[Ryan]

I mean, what are we, three minutes into this new idea? We're riffing right now.

[Miles]

That's how you know idea is good. I mean, if it just comes out of you.

[Ryan]

That's true market research. So anyway.

[Miles]

All right, so Ryan's going through his cowboy phase of life.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Videos and galas that are themed.

[Ryan]

Like, I damn near had, like, a horse trailer lined up that I could pull over to the gala just to show that, like, how western formal is this.

[Tyler]

Sorry, My. My hitch is rusted on.

[Miles]

We could get it up. We could do a horse trailer party bus to the gala.

[Ryan]

That's not a bad idea. Yeah, Flatbed with a bunch of hay bales on it, and then, like, a hay bale ride, you guys. You know, we'll have a driver, and we'll all sit on the back.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

In the covered horse trailer so we don't get to see no flatbed. Okay, Flatbed.

[Miles]

We'll go. We'll go. Flatbed.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Ryan]

So I've been overthinking this thing this whole. This whole time.

[Miles]

You really have?

[Jared]

No. You'll crush it.

[Tyler]

Just show up in a Dallas Cowboys jersey.

[Jared]

Dak Prescott with the shorts.

[Tyler]

The Jeep shorts. Yeah. Be like, oh, I did not understand the insight.

[Miles]

This was urban cowboy. A tire.

[Jared]

You got, like, Air Force Ones on.

[Miles]

No, he's got. He's got the cheerleader boots on. The white ones, the stars on them.

[Jared]

Just think of that music.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. He shows up as Dak Prescott, and then your wife can be a Dallas. Yeah, there you go.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that would be. We would win best costume at this gallery. Not a costume part. It's not a costume party, my friend.

[Miles]

Miles told me this was a costume party.

[Jared]

Everyone's dressed hilarious.

[Miles]

So anything going on with you, Jared?

[Jared]

Close down a house tomorrow. So that's about it. I think we're at the finish line. Crawling to the finish line.

[Ryan]

You mean crawling, moving to the finish line.

[Miles]

Do you feel happy with the house that you got?

[Jared]

Yeah, I'd say seven out of 10.

[Miles]

And that's the way they say most good deals end up that way. So I think you got a good deal. Both sides should be happy, but also disappointed.

[Jared]

Pointed. Right. So, yeah. Don't really know what to expect, but.

[Miles]

I don't know what's first order of business when you get to the house.

[Jared]

Probably painting. A lot of painting. So paint in the living room, eventually the bathroom.

[Miles]

What color are you going? We going with eggshell whites.

[Ryan]

You go on with easy with the egg ties. That's tough subject.

[Miles]

Just think, then you could also do paint.

[Tyler]

You could, but it'd be eggshell brown with these chickens.

[Ryan]

That's true. That's true. I.

[Miles]

That's a whole new market.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah. We're going through the colors. I forget my wife pulled out one with a funny name. I remember it, though.

[Tyler]

Is it. Is it a white, though, or like. Is it.

[Jared]

It's like a gray.

[Ryan]

It's not dragon's breath.

[Jared]

No, it's not dragon's breath, which is brown.

[Miles]

Talk about dragon.

[Ryan]

No, I wasn't talking. It's a good color. I was gonna paint my garage that color, actually.

[Miles]

Did you look at it up?

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. You show me the sample, too? Yeah. On the wall.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

What. What's the backyard situation look like? A patio deck.

[Jared]

Yeah, Deck. Elevated deck. Fence. No fire pit.

[Miles]

Speaking of deck, Jared, I got an idea for a deck for you.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Miles]

If you maybe want to add on to the deck.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Miles]

Pull up the photo. I found this photo of an absolutely banger deck.

[Tyler]

Hey, there's the flatbed trailer we were talking about.

[Miles]

So also, look at who posted this meme. Jeff Foxworthy. It says real men. Real man of genius. And it says when it's cheaper to buy a trailer than pay for lumber. And he's got a flatbed trailer right up next to his trailer home. And it's the same height as the walkout of the trailer thing. And it's just his deck. He's got a grill out there. He's got a picnic table, the whole thing.

[Tyler]

That is actually perfect. I think with those trailers, too, you could put sides on them.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So you could have a deck railing with it.

[Ryan]

Well, even if you want to like, make it look even more legit. You could just put like, that, that. The fencing, like over. Over the wheels, over the sides of it.

[Tyler]

You know the best part about this? This is a trailer house with a trailer.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's a double trailer.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And what's funny is that Jared's dad sells trailers.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you can. You could get a wraparound deck now.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

If you get a wrap around your deck, you could.

[Miles]

Yeah, just do a couple of trailers. You got a wraparound deck around your wraparound deck.

[Jared]

That's true.

[Tyler]

I'll give him a call today.

[Miles]

What do you think the thought process was leading to this photo? I bet it was like he parked it, like just in the yard about 15ft away from the house. And he was just having a couple beers and his wife was bitching at him to build a deck. And he just kept looking back and forth between the trailer and the trailer home. And then he literally said to his kid, hold my beer. He got. He whistled that thing right up next to it, and he was like, boom. Deck belt.

[Tyler]

I. I like to imagine that his wife has been nagging him for months to get that deck built. They had money saved up for it, but instead he bought a trailer and then just did this last second spur of inspiration. He's like, what do I do? Backed it up right next to the house.

[Miles]

Well, and it takes another element to. Home is where you park. Market.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Not a trailer home. They could move that sucker if they wanted to. Last thing you want to do is have to leave the deck behind or find a way to transport it.

[Ryan]

Right, right.

[Tyler]

Imagine the tailgating he can do. He just brings bring home to the parking lot.

[Ryan]

Imagine how easy it would be if he wanted to move. You just like walk his right out.

[Miles]

The patio door, then just strap it down. That's not going anywhere and they're on their way.

[Tyler]

Hell, yeah.

[Miles]

And you probably, you know, like, you see people with two trailers behind their car. You could probably hook that trailer up to the end of the daisy, chain.

[Tyler]

It to the house for sure.

[Miles]

Little daisy chain on that.

[Jared]

You know, redneck. When your trailer has a trailer.

[Ryan]

Do you think he. Do you think he pulled that?

[Miles]

So wait, is this a triple wide trailer then?

[Tyler]

He messed.

[Jared]

I think you're right. He's got two grills too.

[Ryan]

Does the. The door, like the. The middle white door, does that walk out onto the trailer as well, or is that.

[Tyler]

I think it goes to steps.

[Ryan]

Okay. I'm wondering, you guys think he backed this in or do you think he pulled it straightforward In.

[Miles]

He definitely had to back it in.

[Jared]

Maybe not.

[Ryan]

I would like to see if there's any. There's got to be a couple scratches behind that trailer.

[Tyler]

Ah, it doesn't matter, though. The trailer covers them up.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's true.

[Miles]

Paint will make a whistle what it ain't.

[Jared]

You would also have to sand that wood because the splinters on your feet. If you're barefoot on that thing.

[Miles]

You think that they're worried about splinters in their feet. They literally are using a trailer as a deck, and you think that they're worried about splinters in their feet.

[Jared]

It's true.

[Ryan]

I mean, even if you put a little platform on top of, like, the gooseneck.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan]

I mean, you could. You could throw a chair up there.

[Miles]

If he was smart, he would just build that grill into where the gooseneck is.

[Jared]

Yeah, there you go.

[Tyler]

Make that a little like the outdoor bar area.

[Miles]

Yeah. Only thing it's missing is an umbrella, I think.

[Tyler]

Hey. And I'd be willing to guess that window next to the goosenecks. The kitchen.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Little indoor outdoor situation.

[Ryan]

That's true.

[Miles]

You seen on the fancy homes, they had the slide open door and the. Both sides. Pretty nice.

[Jared]

Cool. The pie on the trailer.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It may. It may look kind of ratchet to the neighbors, but this is functionality wise. This is like peak functionality.

[Tyler]

But all you have to argue with function.

[Miles]

But all you would have to do is put a skirt around the bottom of the tr and you probably wouldn't even be able to tell.

[Ryan]

You wouldn't. You definitely wouldn't.

[Tyler]

Except for the giant hitch.

[Miles]

You just put some shrubbery around.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You plant a tree.

[Jared]

Could even be a fig tree. It wouldn't have to be.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. Just put some paneling, like, for going from the ground all the way up to the goose. Looks like a.

[Jared]

Have the vinyl match the. The gooseneck and put vinyl on it.

[Miles]

Yeah, Just wrap it. Just like actual sticker, like vinyl wrap, but it's got the slats like it's siding.

[Jared]

Exactly.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So it's seamless.

[Tyler]

Seamless vinyl in one very specific angle. It matches perfectly.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It's like, wow, what's that new addition on this guy's house? Or it must be new in the construction world.

[Miles]

But I. I mean, if you built that. The gooseneck into a little box car, I think it would just look like it's supposed to be there.

[Ryan]

Oh, it'd be great, dude.

[Tyler]

That underside part, you could build like a little shed or something to go underneath.

[Miles]

Yeah. A little. Little lawnmower.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

A Little lawnmower shed. I like that.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You could even. You could take. You could take it a step further. You, you could get like in a closed trailer or even like a horse trailer, you could like drop the door down onto like the patio door and then you essentially have like a. A skywalk out to like a 3 seasons porch type deal, you know, or you could have smoke room. You could, you could, you could use it for your smoke room.

[Tyler]

Or a dog house.

[Ryan]

Or a dog house.

[Miles]

Skyway. Two feet off the ground.

[Ryan]

Skywalker out in the smoke shop.

[Jared]

Call Luke.

[Miles]

What is funny is there actually pro. I mean, that trailer's kind of expensive, but there was a point when lumber was real expensive that this probably actually was cheaper.

[Tyler]

I can look up some numbers. Numbers.

[Ryan]

Get some numbers crunched over there.

[Miles]

Some numbies crashed. Yeah. And just think it's like, hey, honey, we gotta add on to the deck. You just park another one next to it.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

If you backed another, you know, like, you could have three, four of them lined up. It's like having a dining table with a leaf in the middle.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Having a few extra people over. Bring in the next trailer. We got a bigger deck because that's.

[Ryan]

Probably, that's probably what, six, eight. That's probably eight feet wide.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

Roughly.

[Ryan]

I mean, you pull another trailer, you got 16 foot wide. 16 by probably quadruple wide trailer. 20, dude. And then you could have two mini bars. You could have one. You could have one for the grill and then one mini bar.

[Miles]

Not a bad setup at all.

[Ryan]

Or you know what you could do is you could have, you could have some step walking up onto the top of the gooseneck and then you could have like a platform, put a pool underneath of it, Diving board off the end.

[Miles]

That is actually. You could put a hot tub next to it.

[Jared]

Yeah, that would work too.

[Ryan]

You put a hot tub on, like.

[Miles]

Put a hot tub underneath the gooseneck and then you crawl down into it.

[Ryan]

That would be awesome.

[Jared]

Take some LED lights above it.

[Miles]

Yeah. And then you could have like a. You could put a tarp over the top of the gooseneck area. And then if it's too sunny out, you got an umbrella. If it's raining out. Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

You could sit out there in the winter time. It's snowing out. Not going to hit you.

[Tyler]

How big do you think that trailer is?

[Jared]

20Ft, 24ft?

[Ryan]

20 by 20 by 8, something like that. 18 by 8.

[Tyler]

Okay, let's go 20 by 10. To build a deck that's 20 by 10 on this Trex cost calculator anywhere from 3, 500 to 6 grand. And that exact a trailer close enough to that that I found is five grand.

[Ryan]

So a deck. You can't haul on a deck, though.

[Tyler]

That's right. No, I'm saying the trailer is cheaper.

[Miles]

The deck is a waste of money. Yeah. So, Jerry, Aaron, I know you were talking about. Paint's gonna be the first thing I do when I get. I think you gotta head down, get a trailer.

[Tyler]

And you know a guy. You're gonna get a family discount.

[Jared]

Yeah, I know a guy. It's not a bad idea.

[Ryan]

I mean, you drive into the hot tub store with that thing, say, hey, just load it up.

[Miles]

I'll.

[Ryan]

I'll get it from here.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's true.

[Ryan]

Just don't unload it. You just.

[Miles]

You just. That is true.

[Ryan]

You just keep it on the trail.

[Miles]

You go, hey, like, honey, we're getting the new grill today day. I'm taking the deck over. Taking the deck over to the store to pick it up. They load it up for you, and then you don't even have to. You just drive right up. And it's already there.

[Jared]

Just plug it in.

[Ryan]

Hey, watch your step on the patio door. No deck gonna be there today.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Gonna get a hot tub. Honey.

[Jared]

Watch your step. Get the hot tub.

[Ryan]

He's going, like, he's going to the flea farm.

[Miles]

Whatever.

[Ryan]

He's gonna Just gonna pick up, like, an inflatable coleman hot tub for 400 bucks.

[Jared]

It pops all the way over, Deflates.

[Miles]

Yeah. You buy the floor model. So it's already inflated.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's. That is a. It's a great idea.

[Jared]

Let's make some calls.

[Miles]

Yeah. So just thought I'd whip that out for you.

[Jared]

That was good.

[Ryan]

Well, boys, I could see you have Getting one of them. This is a chicken coop.

[Miles]

Of anyone here, Tyler's definitely the most likely to end up with a trailer deck.

[Tyler]

I would consider that if it did, like, and put the skirt around it and whatnot. If it wasn't a gooseneck trailer.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Sure.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

It's negotiable.

[Ryan]

Because then you can haul bales on it, too. For your future goats.

[Tyler]

For my goats and horses and chickens and my entire farm.

[Ryan]

Goats and horses. A great band name.

[Miles]

Chicken. Goats and horses.

[Jared]

Chickens of the coop.

[Miles]

Yeah. What was the thing?

[Jared]

Chicks? No. What was it, though? I can't remember. Was it chickens in the coop?

[Miles]

Keeping the coop? I don't know. Doesn't matter.

[Ryan]

Keepers of the coop.

[Miles]

All right, Jared, you got a little fun fact for us?

[Jared]

Yep. In the 1960s, NASA funded a controversial research project led by John Lilly to explore human dolphin communication. One of the most infamous aspects of the experiment involved Mark Margaret Lovett, a researcher who lived with a dolphin named Peter, and in an effort to keep him focused on language training, manually. Manually stimulated him when he became sexually frustrated. Meanwhile, Lillian, known for his uncut conventional methods, experimented with giving LSD to dolphins to see if they could enhance their ability to communicate.

[Tyler]

Rewind.

[Miles]

Read it again.

[Tyler]

Which.

[Miles]

Sorry.

[Tyler]

No, I think I know what you said. The first one. Sorry. Read it.

[Ryan]

He said Peter was putting. Working.

[Jared]

In the 1960s, NASA funded a controversial research project led by neuroscientist John C. Lily to explore human dolphin communication. One of the most infamous aspects of the experiment involved Margaret Lovett, a researcher who lived with a dolphin named Peter, and in an effort to keep him focused on language training, manually stimulated him when he became sexually frustrated. Meanwhile, Lily, known for his unconventional methods, experimented with giving LSD to dolphins to see if. To see if it would enhance their ability to communicate. They wanted to teach dolphins how to speak English.

[Miles]

And so she was just jerking off dolphins?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Would she.

[Tyler]

Was she jerking the dolphin off or was she banging this dolphin?

[Jared]

I think it was jerking.

[Tyler]

Okay. I mean, that's still not good. But better than the alternative.

[Miles]

Sponsored by. So NASA funded a dolphin jerking off experience experiment.

[Jared]

Indirectly, but that's kind of what it.

[Miles]

Sounds like it turned into.

[Jared]

Well, the project was to. For humans to have the dolphin speak English, which turned into.

[Miles]

Sounded like the only language they were speaking was body language.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

So wait, she lived with a doll? Where the. Was the dolphin? I don't get it.

[Jared]

They were at some, like, I think the Virgin Islands.

[Tyler]

Not anymore.

[Miles]

Not anymore.

[Tyler]

Dude, all jokes aside, that's beastiality. It is extremely illegal.

[Jared]

I got a little more info.

[Miles]

Well, not in the Virgin Islands.

[Tyler]

Okay, can we see?

[Miles]

Maybe that's why McFarland doesn't want to do it in. In the US he just. He maybe has a beastiality package that.

[Tyler]

You can buy or he's hoping the dolphins are finally going to return the favor and milk him.

[Jared]

Mark, I got a little Somewhere. Margaret Lovett was tasked with trying to teach English to Peter the dolphin by living with him in a flooded house for weeks. She spoke to him constantly, hoping he would learn to mimic words. Meanwhile, Lily experimented with giving LSD to dolphins to see if it would alter their cognition and make communication easier. And long story short, it didn't work.

[Miles]

Tried to teach him for weeks. Is that what it said? They were Just going to teach dolphin English in weeks.

[Tyler]

It takes a human in several years.

[Jared]

That dolphin's really smart, though. Apparently.

[Ryan]

Oh, can we see a video just to get a frame of mind.

[Miles]

You want a video? Jerking off the dolphin?

[Ryan]

Oh, no, it's manual stimulation.

[Tyler]

I. I think they. Just because they couldn't write jerking off in the article.

[Ryan]

Jerry, could you pull a video up?

[Miles]

Yeah. What's. What's manual stimulation?

[Jared]

Manually stimulated him. That's what it sounds. Does.

[Miles]

That's what we're. That's what I'm going to call from now on. That's a great actual line when you give your kid the talk.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So I know you're going to want to do some manual simulation, but just make sure that no one's home.

[Tyler]

Lock the bathroom door.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And no showers over 45 minutes. I'm turning the water off. If, if, if you're in there for over 45.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I'm setting the water heater to a timer.

[Jared]

Your sex better match.

[Ryan]

How. I wonder. How. How she. How did she know when he was sexually frustrated?

[Jared]

I don't know.

[Tyler]

He couldn't tell her. She. She.

[Ryan]

I would ask if you.

[Jared]

Wait.

[Miles]

Did she end up start speaking dolphin?

[Tyler]

Maybe this is kind of a reverse point.

[Jared]

Peter Griffin.

[Miles]

Yeah, not the fun fact I thought it was getting today.

[Tyler]

Yeah. This story makes me uncomfortable with the dolphin.

[Ryan]

I would ask if the dolphin started dry humping her, but a dolphin. And that's when she knew he was sexually frustrated.

[Tyler]

Do you think she played with his blowhole?

[Miles]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan]

Well, that's what I'm trying to get the video off here. Maybe he just wasn't into her. Maybe she was the issue.

[Tyler]

Those were his first words.

[Miles]

I just.

[Tyler]

Tuna in here.

[Miles]

What is. What does NASA need from this? I don't research.

[Jared]

Just research.

[Miles]

But what. Why. Why are we doing that?

[Jared]

Maybe I could weaponize the dolphins.

[Tyler]

That didn't even click for me. What is NASA doing it for?

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah. Isn't NASA supposed to be above water?

[Miles]

It's supposed to quite literally be how far away from water as you can get.

[Tyler]

How is cranking. Peter. The dolphins. Peter, gonna get them to the moon?

[Miles]

I don't know. And now it's starting to, like, you hear stuff like that and you start to kind of start to believe the people who think we didn't land on the moon.

[Ryan]

I mean, if this is what.

[Jared]

Maybe you could. Maybe you could weaponize the dolphins if they were able to communicate.

[Tyler]

That is true, but what does NASA need a weaponized dolphin for? There's.

[Jared]

Well, they do like military research.

[Ryan]

What's the what?

[Miles]

Why didn't they just spend that time making like water drones that could weaponize and do the same?

[Jared]

2020 hindsight, I guess.

[Tyler]

Okay, so what year Was this again?

[Jared]

60S.

[Tyler]

So after we don't know exactly when.

[Ryan]

It was before 1969 when we landed.

[Jared]

On the movie and it says in the nineteen nineteen sixties.

[Tyler]

I was gonna say if this was our follow up to the moon, like we got to the, we got to the moon, guys, what's next? Let's get some dolphins to talk.

[Miles]

Yeah, it was like, you know, it was like he check.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

100 he check. They just land on the moon. They're like, if we can put a man on the moon, we could jerk. We could, we could teach dolphins to speak English through jerk hood. We could teach them through the art of manual stimulation how to speak English. Right. We put a man on the moon.

[Ryan]

They'Re like, yeah, yeah, we get, yeah, we get, yeah.

[Miles]

Next thing and then they're like, it was like that. And then the next thing they were going to try is teaching men how to not have to take multiple trips to the hardware store. So we were, if the dolphin thing would have worked, that was next on their docket and got bias, we, our problems would have been fixed.

[Tyler]

And like if the dolphin thing doesn't work, we're going to get a retired NFL player up in space somehow.

[Miles]

Yeah, well that wasn't NASA. That was Blue Origin. That was Bezos.

[Jared]

We'll get a Miami Dolphin up in space.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So put some respect on Siran's name.

[Ryan]

Tyler Miles watched it. He was up early that day. Another country, I, I woke up early.

[Miles]

On my vacation because of the time difference. So I had a similar straight hand day, but not because I just actually woke up at the time. It's because my body thought it was way later.

[Ryan]

Bright eyed and bushy tailed.

[Miles]

Yeah. Like here I woke up at like 10:30. But there the first day you're like.

[Ryan]

You know, yeah, Cambodia. Two hour time difference.

[Jared]

You think every morning show involves somebody going to space? You're like, what the.

[Miles]

I just, you imagine if I did it, it was like the one other time someone went to space. There's like this is what morning news is now.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. You're like, when is Tommy lan going into space? I thought it was this morning.

[Jared]

Kelly Ripler.

[Ryan]

It was like another country that back to the dolphin thing. Another country trying to invade the United States like by ship. And president's like, send out the dolphins, Peter, go.

[Tyler]

You know what to do.

[Miles]

Someone start. Someone start manually stimulating Peter. We need him. We need him stacked.

[Jared]

Rev up those edges.

[Tyler]

Wait.

[Miles]

Let's warm up the engines for Peter.

[Tyler]

Now none of the dolphins will go. We'll get them in a circle.

[Miles]

There's too many dolphins to manually stimulate. Get them in a circle.

[Ryan]

You guys are pulling people off the street. Just run out of hands.

[Miles]

I got to rest with on hands. I need hands.

[Ryan]

So, okay, you pull that video up.

[Jared]

I'll put it by Patreon.

[Miles]

All right, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the you Bet Your radio podcast. May your dolphins be stimulated, not manually stimulated, automatically. And may your house have a. May your porch have a wraparound porch. We'll see you the next one.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Dolphins leaving they just stare Gene dancing Cambodian nights Life's a mess but it feels so right Miles came back with tales untold Cambodia's hot but his soul's cold Tyler's chickens are feeling fear he's got that glare, it's crystal clear oh, chaos and Jonah in the air Dolphins leaping They just stare Share the dancing Cambodian nights Life's a mess but it feels so right Miles came back with tales untold Cambodia's hot but his soul's cold Tyler's chickens are feeling here he's got that glare it's crystal clear okay. I see tuna and me air Dolphins leaping, they just stare J. D In Cambodian nights Life's a mess but it feels so right Tuna smoke linger oh, what a stage Jared's got walls where he used to flow Billy floats Dolphins stimulate this is the life a twisted fate Fire's cause as ashes don't burn too bright we live in chaos but hold on tight Ryan's rant buzzes Tyler's perfumes Miles dreams big but the world consumes oh, chaos and tuna in the air yeah Dolphins leaping They just stare Shed a dance in Cambodian nights Life's a mess but it feels so right Fire fest Ashes don't burn too bright we live in chaos Chaos but hold on tight Ryan's ranch buzzes Tyler still fumes Miles dreams big but the world consumes oh, chaos and tuna in the air Dolphins leaping, they just stare Trailer dance in Cambodia nights Life's a mess but it feels so right okay, Got some tuna in the air Dolphins is leaping they just feel so light.

[Jared]

Oh, Mary Kill Bratzberger Burgers hot dogs.

[Tyler]

Okay, I think that's pretty easy for me.

[Ryan]

It's a pretty good one.

[Tyler]

I'm gonna marry burgers. Brats kill hot dogs.

[Ryan]

Okay. Yeah. Wow. How original. Ryan mine's the exact same.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I know. I think it's easy to kill hot dogs. I think the only thing that's tough are brats or burgers.

[Ryan]

Hot dogs are fire. I feel like brats just fire. Pots are so good, but they scorch your mouth when you. It's kind of. You know, it's like. It's like ring sausage. Like it. When you. You bite into, like, even the tiniest bubble underneath the skin.

[Jared]

It's a case.

[Ryan]

It's burning lava.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

It's like pizza rolls at 2:00am yeah. You get that case. Oh, God.

[Tyler]

I don't know. I just thinking about going to any concession stand and there's an option between brat and hot dog dog. I'm never getting hot dog.

[Ryan]

No.

[Tyler]

So I. I have to kill hot dog.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

No, I agree. Yeah. And. And brats are. They're more of a novelty because hot. Hot dogs are. Hot dogs are everywhere. Brats are not. So it's like one. Like when you have the opportunity to get a brat somewhere, you gotta get a brat.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Because, I mean, you can get a hot dog anywhere. You can get them Costco bas like any sporting event, wherever.

[Jared]

You know, the ceiling's much higher for a bra dog.

[Tyler]

For sure.

[Ryan]

For sure. Y.

[Tyler]

Hot dogs are Steady Eddie. You know what you're gonna get. It's just. Is what it is.

[Ryan]

I don't know if I've ever had a bad br either. Undercooked, Overcooked. Perfectly done.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Big drawback of brs is, like you said, boiling the inside of your mouth with hot.

[Miles]

Correct.

[Ryan]

Yeah. That's about the only drawback. That's the only thing. That's the only thing. Thing where hot dogs are above brats.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I also think the ceiling on you can just do so much more. The burger that makes it marriage.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Burger set up every day.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Burgers are fire.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

The fucking MD food boys right now, they're.

[Ryan]

They're, they're. They are on fire.

[Tyler]

They are. They just did the hot dog debate the other day. What they said, what topics. McLovin likes it plain, obviously.

[Ryan]

Psych. That's a psychopath move.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And most of them just like mustard. One of them like mustard and ketchup. And then Chubb Perm is like, I don't get ketchup and mustard. They shouldn't go together. And that was the whole conversation.

[Ryan]

Jesus.

[Jared]

Yeah. I'm not a big ketchup guy either. The only time I like ketchup is with fries.

[Tyler]

Really?

[Jared]

Maybe a little bit on a burger.

[Tyler]

The Only time I like ketchup's on a hot dog now.

[Jared]

With fries.

[Tyler]

Nope.

[Jared]

Whoa.

[Tyler]

I like ranch on my fries.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I do too, But I also love ketchup on fries.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I don't put ketchup on fries. Hardly ever.

[Miles]

Wow.

[Tyler]

I will if, like, they forget to ask for ranch. I don't like being like, can I get a side of ranch, too, please?

[Ryan]

See, here's. Here's the thing, though. I only like. I only like ranch from a restaurant on my fries. I don't like Hidden Valley.

[Tyler]

Really?

[Ryan]

Because we get hit. We have Hidden Valley in my house. I don't like Hidden Valley for my fries. Too thick. Yeah, I. I'll go with. I'll go with ketchup all day.

[Tyler]

Too.

[Jared]

Sweet.

[Ryan]

I've actually started to swap out. I've. I've started to swap mustard out for relish. Relish.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah. I like relish because I don't like mustard, though.

[Ryan]

I'd like to have all three of them on, but at that point, then it just, like, there's no longer about the hot dog or the brat. It's just about the. The liquid on top.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yep.

[Ryan]

And I don't want that.

[Jared]

You know, if I have an option for all the. Like, for all the toppings, I put all of them on.

[Ryan]

I normally do, too. And that's. That. That's when it gets to a point where you should grab a fork.

[Tyler]

Okay, since we're. Since we're full MD Food boys right now, thoughts on sour cream kraut?

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'm for it. I love sauerkraut, but see, when they have all the options, I just have to pick maybe. Maybe three, but usually just two.

[Tyler]

Okay, we're at a Redhawks game. You got that little card of toppings?

[Ryan]

What Exactly. The situation I'm thinking of.

[Tyler]

What are you putting on it?

[Ryan]

Probably. I'm. I'm probably going just a little bit of ketchup, a little bit of relish, maybe. Mustard. Probably not, though. So ketchup. Ketchup, relish, and then sauerkraut.

[Tyler]

Oh, relish and sauerkraut.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Damn.

[Ryan]

One's a pickle, one's not.

[Jared]

Real chopped onion.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Grilled. Better than chopped, for sure. Oh, yeah.

[Ryan]

100. Yeah. Yeah. But again, it just like, you know, I can only go, what am I.

[Jared]

Eating at this point?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

What is this?

[Ryan]

What am I eating? A salad or, you know, tomatoes, pickles. What is sauerkraut? Cabbage.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Tomatoes, pickles, cabbage and onions. Onions.

[Tyler]

It's just the. The dog's barely there. At that point?

[Ryan]

Pretty much, yeah.

[Jared]

The dog went home.

[Tyler]

No, I'm. One line of ketchup ton of sauerkraut.

[Jared]

That's it.

[Tyler]

Yep. That's my preferred.

[Ryan]

God, I wish. I wish they had hot dog buns that were similar to, like, Hot Pockets to where you could just kind of stuff every. Like, all your toppings on the inside and then eat it like a Hot Pocket. Because, again, you put too much stuff on it. Gets to a point where it just starts.

[Tyler]

It's just a sopping gross mess.

[Jared]

You want more integrity with your.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I think so.

[Jared]

Structural integrity.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Chicago dogs, don't they use, like, pretzel buns for that reason specifically?

[Jared]

It's like a sesame bun.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Okay.

[Jared]

But then they also put, like, hot peppers on top, and those are fire, too. And, like, slice pickle on them.

[Ryan]

Those are fire, too.

[Jared]

See? What am I eating at this point?

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm not eating a hot dog. I'm having a salad.

[Jared]

I think you just have to get rid of your framework. Like, don't think you're eating a hot dog. Think about you're eating your own creation.

[Tyler]

Yeah. You're in Orion dog. Well, whatever you want on it.

[Ryan]

If I.

[Jared]

You know, you're not branding it well to yourself. You're not marketing well to yourself.

[Ryan]

Yeah. If there's zero to give. Like, on. On that day, I'm just gonna. Oh, I'm gonna flatten the bun out, and then I'm just gonna put everything on, and then I'm gonna. Just gonna eat it with a fork.

[Jared]

Kitty with a fork.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's. You can't. Can't get.

[Ryan]

I mean, I'm not.

[Tyler]

You got to do that alone.

[Ryan]

You guys.

[Tyler]

Don't let people see.

[Ryan]

Ketchup, mustard, relish, sauerkraut, diced onions.

[Tyler]

We get why you're using the fork, but you still can't let people see it.

[Jared]

You can't do it.

[Ryan]

Well, I'll eat in the bathroom, then.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I'm saying that's a better move. Don't let people see you eat a hot dog with a fork in the bathroom.

[Jared]

Going there anyway after this.

[Ryan]

All right. You know, sometimes I.

[Tyler]

With all the relish.

[Ryan]

Sometimes I like to cut my hot dog into pieces and then mix it.

[Tyler]

All up and put it in Mac and cheese.

[Ryan]

No, just eat it out of the. Out of the.

[Tyler]

The. A hot dog bowl?

[Ryan]

Yeah. Pretty much what it becomes.

[Tyler]

We could totally. We could market that to drunk white girls. A hot dog bowl?

[Jared]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Oh, for sure.

[Tyler]

You just mash it up like the. Okay. And hibachi chefs.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Because I think, you know, some. Some. Some. Some might get self conscious eating a hot dog with males around.

[Tyler]

Good.

[Ryan]

So it's like if you market it as a bowl and then sold off.

[Jared]

You know, and then you throw an avocado in there, it's game over.

[Tyler]

Game over.

[Ryan]

It's go. It's go time. It's game over time.

[Tyler]

Guac on your. In your hot dog bowl.

[Jared]

Game over for the week.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Now we're kind of just talking like. Yeah, build your own hotel hot dog. Yeah. Yeah, we could.

[Tyler]

This is. I'm changing my answer from a couple weeks ago. That's my food truck idea. Hot dog bowls.

[Jared]

There you go.

[Tyler]

Maybe we'll do it in a hot dog bun, bread bowl.

[Jared]

Kind of like a Panera thing.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Okay, guys, if you want more, you bet your radio, you gotta check out our Patreon. You gotta go to patreon.com, you bets radio, or look us up on the app. And we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you got to check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.