Podcast Summary: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Guest: Anjelah Johnson-Reyes
Date: February 28, 2024
Main Theme:
A lively, honest, and vulnerable conversation between Pete Holmes and comedian Anjelah Johnson-Reyes—covering marriage, faith evolution, personal authenticity, relationships, parenthood, and identity, all wrapped in comedic chemistry.
Overview
This is a classic "Did we just become best friends?" episode filled with laughter, warmth, and raw honesty. Pete and Anjelah dive deep into topics ranging from the etiquette of greeting people in show business, cultural quirks, and cologne, to faith deconstruction, IVF struggles, and the realities of intimacy and parenthood.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Have We Met? – Social Etiquette and Meeting People
- Timestamps: [01:35 – 05:15]
- Pete and Anjelah riff on whether they’ve previously met, dissecting the trick of saying “Nice to see you” instead of “Nice to meet you” to avoid awkwardness.
- Notable Quote:
“This trick has gone… it's starting to eat itself, because now when you said, ‘nice to see you,’ I'm like, I know what you’re doing and I don’t like it.” – Pete [02:45]
2. Motherhood, Authenticity, and Cultural Quirks
- Timestamps: [05:27 – 14:45]
- Anjelah shares her experience as a new mom and her navigation between keeping it real versus fronting perfection.
- The duo riff about “wet nurses,” maternal instincts, and “smell dating”—how scent connects partners.
- Cologne Culture:
- Anjelah’s Puerto Rican husband’s obsession with different colognes for every occasion.
- Notable Exchange:
“He has a gym cologne. He has a going out cologne. He has a going to bed cologne. Yeah. It’s too much.” – Anjelah [08:02]
“I've said this a million times. But they did this blind study […] the success rate was through the roof. No, through the roof.” – Pete [08:40]
3. Relationships: Meeting Her Husband and Early Connection
- Timestamps: [13:35 – 36:01]
- Anjelah recounts meeting her husband, a Christian hip hop artist, at her roommate’s wedding—but he didn’t notice her initially (his preference: "only white girls").
- She cyber-stalked him, let two years go by, then fate brought them together via a friend’s setup.
- Their first date was over Skype due to long-distance (LA to Florida), with Anjelah playing it cool and casual (literally packing during the call).
- Notable Quote:
“You can't sit there alert and laugh at his jokes. […] How about get a carry on?” – Pete [36:00]
4. Religious Upbringing, Christian “Culture,” and Deconstruction
- Timestamps: [45:43 – 54:25; 95:41 – 108:19]
- Both discuss their deep involvement in church, Christian dating, and “Christianese” (faith lingo).
- Pete and Anjelah reflect on purity culture, shame, and the “good girl/boy” syndrome, and how these affected their early sexual experiences.
- Memorable moment: Anjelah and Pete joke about “Christian friction”—jeans as “Christian condoms.”
“There’s nothing kinkier than like, getting religion in your sex.” – Pete [55:36] "The Lord loves a good jean jam…” – Anjelah [56:15]
- Later, they revisit the topic of evolving out of narrow definitions of Christianity, discussing Richard Rohr and others who've helped them reframe faith.
“Jesus didn’t come to start a tribe. … He came to build bridges and show us that God is in us.” – Pete [96:42]
5. IVF, Infertility Challenges, and Choosing Motherhood
- Timestamps: [78:53 – 85:24]
- Anjelah details her struggle with IVF, low egg count, her husband’s sperm issues (due to testosterone use), endometriosis, and ultimately conceiving naturally after lifestyle changes.
- Notable Quote:
"Every appointment I went to was like, more bad news, bad news… They're like: 'this may not be for you.'” – Anjelah [79:13] “…you got yourself–I don’t know, you cleaned up your insides.” – Pete [85:44]
6. Becoming a Parent: Identity Shift and Honest Reflections
- Timestamps: [88:05 – 94:45]
- The transformation from career-centric life to motherhood, and the pressures to conform to “perfect mother” expectations.
- They talk candidly about postpartum, affection shifts between partners, and the importance of modeling healthy relationships for children.
- Notable Quote:
“I have to choose my husband. When before it was just an instinct… Now I have to choose.” – Anjelah [92:45]
7. Faith, Deconstruction, and Spiritual Books
- Timestamps: [95:41 – 108:19]
- Pete and Anjelah bond over having re-examined their inherited faith, processing doubts about exclusivity of salvation, and the works that guided them (Richard Rohr, Rob Bell, Paul Young’s “Lies We Believe About God” etc.).
- Notable Quote:
“You can have Jesus, but you don’t have to be like, ‘and all those Japanese people are going to hell.’ Because the access to that recognition: ‘I’m a child of God’, is as available to anybody of any faith at any time for all of history, for all, forever.” – Pete [107:14]
8. Comedy, Career, and Cheering for Sports
- Timestamps: [109:26 – 110:46]
- Brief dive into her cheerleading past with the Raiders and the surreal experience of performing at stadiums.
9. Memorable Laughter / Funny Moments
- Timestamps: [111:35 – end]
- Pete’s closing tradition: asking for an instance of hardest laughter.
- Anjelah shares a story about getting high and goofing around with a cotton ball as a fake AirPod:
“I thought I had AirPods in, but it was my cotton from my earache… so we just start doing this bit where I have the new AirPod 20s…” [114:05]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)
-
On First Meeting Etiquette:
“This trick has gone... it’s starting to eat itself.” – Pete [02:45] -
On Smell and Relationships:
“They did this blind study where they had people sleep in a T-shirt… success rate was through the roof.” – Pete [08:40] -
On Christian Dating & Early Sexual Experiences:
“The Lord loves a good jean jam, you know what I mean?” – Anjelah [56:15]
“Christian condoms. Wranglers.” – Pete [56:28] -
On IVF Struggles:
“Every appointment that I would have, the numbers kept dwindling… this may not be for you.” – Anjelah [79:13] -
On Deconstruction:
“How is it that 2% of Japan is Christian? So you're telling me generation after generation, all their ancestors… didn't go to heaven?” – Anjelah [100:02] “...if heaven is for those that confess to a pastor, then heaven is for literally half of 1% of the entire human population that's ever lived.” – Pete [99:15] -
On Parenthood and Identity:
“I was finally enjoying the fruits of my labor...I was like, this is awesome. Not, like, hustling...” – Anjelah [76:24] -
Closing, On Laughter:
“It's just so joyful, this good, high laugh... we just start doing this bit…” – Anjelah [113:46]
Highlighted Timestamps for Key Segments
- [01:35] – Social greetings and “Have we met?”
- [05:27] – Discussing new motherhood and authenticity
- [08:02] – Cologne debate and “smell dating”
- [13:35] – Meeting her husband, cyber-stalking, and early relationship
- [45:43] – Faith, Christian lingo, and purity culture
- [78:53] – IVF, infertility, and eventual conception
- [88:05] – Navigating identity post-baby
- [95:41] – Deep dive on faith deconstruction and spiritual reading
- [109:26] – Cheering at the Super Bowl and mass performance energy
- [111:35] – Hardest laughter moments and playful stoned memories
Final Thoughts
Chemistry & Tone:
This episode is a fast, funny, and often profound dialogue, true to Pete Holmes' “weird and honest” style. The honest admission of weirdness—personal quirks, doubts, failures, longing for meaning—invites deep empathy and connection. It’s an emotional rollercoaster, full of insight, laughter, and relatability for anyone navigating love, transition, and becoming themselves.
Closing Prompt from Pete:
Would you say “keep it crispy”?
“Keep it crispy.” – Anjelah [116:41]