Brandon Rogers

Summary

Podcast Summary: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Guest: Brandon Rogers

Episode Date: April 29, 2026

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Overview

This episode features a lively, hilarious, and occasionally irreverent conversation between Pete Holmes and viral YouTuber, comedian, and auteur Brandon Rogers. Best known for his fast-paced, multi-character sketches and viral content, Brandon opens up about his creative process, inspirations, experiences with bullying, therapy, the mechanics behind his ambitious videos, and what happiness and authenticity mean to him. The conversation is full of comedic riffs, industry insights, and memorable digressions, offering a rich look at the intersection of internet comedy, queer visibility, and personal weirdness.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The "No Swearing" Challenge and Jumping into Comedy

• Riffing on Clean Language

  • The episode kicks off with Brandon attempting to do the first swearing-free interview of his career, leading to playful banter about alternative curse words and anatomical slang ([03:27] – [04:54]).
  • Notable riff on euphemisms for testicles:
    Brandon: “I heard a great slur for white people: cum skin.”
    Pete: “Cum skin. Is cum a swear?”
    ([07:24])

• Comedy Roots and Social Media Dynamics

  • Pete admires Brandon's self-produced, punk-rock approach to internet comedy.
  • Brandon compares the YouTube world to the distinct universes of Marvel and DC, making a parallel about differing creative orbits ([12:24]).

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2. Stylistic DNA: Inspirations and the "Fast Lane"

• Viral Comedy Explained

  • Pete describes Brandon’s work as a fusion of “The Office” sped up and “Jackass”—full of spectacle but built on solid comic structure ([18:42]).
  • Pete: “What you’re doing is unfakeable... you’re giving people loud and fast, but underneath that, the foundation... is traditional and funny and solid.” ([19:54])

• Creative Influences

  • Brandon cites Arrested Development, The Office, Parks and Rec, 30 Rock, Cloverfield, John Waters, Sacha Baron Cohen, Tim Burton, and Tarantino as primary influences ([21:21] – [22:05]).
  • Mockumentary formats and “three-act structure” are core to his storytelling ([26:35]).

• Internet Audience Attention Spans

  • Vine’s 6-second joke format trained him to keep content moving:
    Brandon: “There’s something about six seconds that we just—either become bored or we become aware of our surroundings.” ([22:57])
  • Adapting traditional comedy to the rapid-fire pace and retention needs of online audiences ([24:37]).

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3. Behind the Scenes: Production, Editing, and Set Life

• DIY Filmmaking and Filming Challenges

  • Early days involved shooting in his apartment, public spaces, or wherever possible, and loud audio would be added in post since he couldn’t be noisy at home ([20:32]).
  • As finances improved, he separated living from filming.

• Process & Workflow

  • Rigorous scripting is necessary, especially when playing multiple roles ([42:29]).
  • Edits footage daily to keep creative intent fresh and to make necessary on-the-fly script adjustments ([47:34]).
  • Fast, efficient sets—minimal, focused coverage, hands-on with costumes and props, learning from “too many cooks” when he briefly worked on union projects ([50:34]); favors run-and-gun style over Hollywood’s ponderous approach.

• Film Set Anecdotes

  • Brandon: “I film a lot on porn sets.” ([43:34])
    • LA’s warehouse “locations” double for porn and independent film.
    • Witnessing “furry porn” and finding a comic angle to everything.

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4. Comedy Philosophy, Belonging, and Personal History

• Comedy as Defense and Connection

  • Brandon was bullied growing up “fat, brown, and gay in a straight white” rural town ([56:53]).
  • He discovered laughter disarms bullies—a spontaneous form of connection and protection:
    Brandon: “People couldn’t pick on me if I could make them laugh.” ([57:39])

• Media as Escape and Expression

  • Early interest in drawing, poetry, and videos. Found film as the most complete medium for expressing humor, visual art, and narrative ([59:27]).
  • Making weekly high school videos, even before YouTube, and screening them for classmates as a form of survival and socialization ([59:07]).

• Therapy and Upbringing

  • Brandon speaks openly about childhood anxiety, therapy (age 11–15), and growing up in a family undergoing divorce ([60:29]).
  • Severe ADHD shaped his method and need for fast-paced content ([61:07]).

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5. The Craft: Control, Collaboration, and Happy Accidents

• Directing, Editing, and Creative Control

  • Brandon’s love for editing is partly about perfectionism and partly about control (“a control freak's paradise”) ([65:24]).
  • Brandon: “I love having the ability to trim... you could lay this out in your little track and snip.”

• Set Mishaps and Risks

  • Tells a harrowing story: during a shoot, a guitar string sliced an actor’s scalp open (“the scalp’s a bleeder!”), requiring staples ([76:08]).
  • Crashing his own car for a shot:
    Brandon: “I just got to pay for this cool shot that I already have.” ([77:23])

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6. Queerness, Identity, and the Meaning of Life

• Visibility and Self-Acceptance

  • Importance of queer representation—cites the fun and authenticity of working with “the first set of conjoined twins that... lean heavily into the bright side” ([72:07]).
  • Signature characters are all facets of himself; the performance gives permission to express a spectrum of identities ([85:59]).
  • Comedy as “real life drag... up to an 11” ([56:16]).

• Reflections on Modern Life and Authenticity

  • On the value of not living for others and not saving “I love yous” for the deathbed ([84:12]).
  • Brandon: “We exist in a fucking fraction of time between two eternities... the number one regret people have is being someone else for other people.” ([83:28])

• Happiness as Meaning

  • For Brandon, the meaning of life boils down to happiness, “as long as you’re not hurting yourself or anyone else.” ([80:15])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "You're my Dolly Parton, I'm your Tom Cruise."
  – Pete Holmes ([14:22])

• “The difference between a comedy movie and a horror movie is a soundtrack.”
  – Pete Holmes, quoting Jordan Peele ([29:43])

• “Sometimes, people are like, ‘Well, that’s when I won my Emmy...’ and I think they’re frustrated... I’m like… nobody’s being real.”
  – Pete Holmes, on social absurdity and Tim Robinson ([55:17])

• “I came out ass first.”
  – Brandon Rogers, on being born and coming out as gay ([08:17])

• “Comedy and poetry... it’s a fine line.”
  – Brandon Rogers ([43:03])

• “All I want is a show where everyone’s breaking.”
  – Pete Holmes ([75:34])

• “We are dead for two eternities on either side of us, and we are in this little sliver.”
  – Brandon Rogers ([83:30])

• “It’s crazy to think Taylor Swift takes dumps, bro... She has a butthole!”
  – Brandon Rogers ([87:38])

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Important Timestamps

• Riffing on swearing/clean language: [03:27]–[05:00]
• Roots of viral comedy: [18:42]–[22:05]
• Conversation about pace, Vine, and structure: [22:57]–[26:35]
• On set/DIY filmmaking process: [42:29]–[51:09]
• Bullying, therapy, and using humor as defense: [56:53]–[62:09]
• Production mishaps & car crash story: [76:07]–[78:05]
• Discussion on happiness and life’s meaning: [80:15]–[83:54]

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Episode Tone & Language

• Freewheeling, unfiltered, and self-aware with rapid-fire banter and confession.
• Blends crude humor with emotional honesty (“I want to be a cosmic... you become light and things, and you go into colorful places.”)
• Emphasizes both the absurdity and the poignancy of being a weirdo, artist, outsider, and human.

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Takeaways

• Brandon Rogers’s comedy emerges from a place of deep observation, self-acceptance, and the need to control his own narrative, honed by early adversity.
• Success on the internet doesn’t preclude a strong grasp of traditional comedic and storytelling fundamentals.
• The boundaries between internet and classic comedy are blurrier than ever, and the best viral content has old-school bones.
• “Secret weirdness”—the stuff we often hide—becomes, through comedy, a wellspring of connection and joy.

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Listen if you enjoy:
Irreverent, meta comedy, behind-the-scenes stories, reflections on being “different,” and boundary-pushing queer humor, all peppered with the chaotic energy of true comedic kinship.

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Key plug:
Check out Brandon Rogers on YouTube (BrandonBored) and Instagram, and Pete’s children’s book and special, "Silly Silly Fun Boy."

Transcript

[Brandon Rogers]

Lemonade. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

[Pete Holmes]

What's happening, weirdos? I'm excited for this one. This is Brandon Rogers, who I wasn't super familiar with when he came across my desk. Is that something people say? But I had such a great chat with him and he is incredibly, incredibly talented. He is an American actor, comedian, American, don't read the Wikipedia. He's an actor, he's a comedian, he's a YouTuber, he's an auteur. He's one of those people that writes, directs, produces and stars in multiple roles in all of his content and it has gone super viral. He is super hilarious, super engaging and has really, really interesting ideas on comedy. Keeping people engaged, keeping people laughing and doing it all on your own. Real grassroots punk rock stuff. So I learned a lot, I laughed a lot and I'm so glad you're here for Brandon Rogers. Check him out on all of the, all of the wonderful social medias. Let me make sure one of them. Let's look at, let's look at one, one of them together. Yeah. Brandon Board. Brandon. B R A N D O N B O R E D is his Instagram, obviously subscribe and like and turn notifications on for his YouTube his as well. He's just such a delight and I'm glad that you're here. Only a couple things on my end to plug. One of them is this. This is my children's book, spells to cast on your parents. Look at that shine though. Look at that embossed. This is a book of spells that kids cast on the grownup that is reading them the book. So it's fun to read to them. It's fun to act out, it's fun to laugh together, it's fun to be silly and you don't even have to worry about the book. The book has you covered. You'll have a silly, fun, lovely, empowering bedtime together. So check that out. It's available for pre order. Please check out my special which is on YouTube. Speaking of YouTube, it's on YouTube.com which is a website. It's called Silly Silly fun Boy. And I'm also on the road. I'm touring. I'm going to be at the Wheeler Opera House in Aspen. Then Denver, Washington.

[Brandon Rogers]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

Sometimes this is me finding out. North Carolina, South Carolina, Punchline, Sacramento. That's fun. Vancouver, San Luis Obispo, Madison, Seattle, Portland, San Diego. All of those are [e-mail] check out the special pre order of the book. Enjoy. Brandon Rogers, so glad you're Here, everybody. Thank you. Get into it. Amazon Health AI presents painful thoughts.

[Julia Louis-Dreyfus]

Why did I search the Internet for answers to my cold soul problem? Now I'm stuck down a rabbit hole filled with images of alarmingly graphic source in various stages of ooze. I can clear my search history, but I can never unsee that.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't go down the rabbit hole. Amazon Health AI gets you the right care fast. Healthcare just got less painful. Well, I was just watching so many of your videos and laughing my butt off. You're incredibly talented that I never thought

[Brandon Rogers]

I'd hear those words from you.

[Pete Holmes]

Which part?

[Brandon Rogers]

That. But that's very inappropriate for you, Pete Holmes. Also, this is the first interview I've ever done. I'm ever going to. I've never done an interview without any swearing. I'm gonna go swear free for the next however long this is.

[Pete Holmes]

But you get to swear.

[Brandon Rogers]

I want to see if I can do.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, you. Just as a personal challenge. I said challenge.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. Oh.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, you almost blew.

[Brandon Rogers]

It just. It almost just came out of my mouth. But I was telling Pete I did all my things. I. Pete, I urinated this morning.

[Pete Holmes]

You said you were all empty.

[Brandon Rogers]

All empty. Every vessel.

[Pete Holmes]

And then I asked.

[Brandon Rogers]

And yes, even. Cut.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's make this not viable for ads. I said testes.

[Brandon Rogers]

Testes.

[Pete Holmes]

That's a technical term, though.

[Brandon Rogers]

It's scientific and it's educational.

[Pete Holmes]

Which one? I don't like testes.

[Brandon Rogers]

Which one is more empty than the other? They don't make that sound when they bust. Pete Holmes.

[Pete Holmes]

That was the wrong sound for that moment.

[Brandon Rogers]

Peter. Peter. Does that what your mom would call you when you were in trouble? A little bit.

[Pete Holmes]

Peter, you're this close to being the mom on Bob's Burgers.

[Brandon Rogers]

Remember?

[Pete Holmes]

Like that's the.

[Brandon Rogers]

That was also someone on YouTube. A comedian.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what I mean. Gay.

[Brandon Rogers]

A gay went on to become a fabulous animator.

[Pete Holmes]

I was gonna say fabulous. How did you know? Because he is a gay fabulous YouTube comedian who became one of the most beloved characters of all time. Linda. On Bob's Burgers.

[Brandon Rogers]

Linda. Love Linda. Oh, yes. You gotta be a pass.

[Pete Holmes]

A cranberry sauce. Potatoes.

[Brandon Rogers]

I don't know the show. I actually don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

You should know any of the similar people. They're not even that similar.

[Brandon Rogers]

I guess they're not. Their necks are similar, though. They all look like they came out of the same hole.

[Pete Holmes]

You mean all the people on Bob's Burgers?

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, not the actors. They all have very different looking necks.

[Pete Holmes]

The cartoons are very, very similar.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I was gonna Ask what's your least favorite term for testicles? Because mine is testes.

[Brandon Rogers]

Boppers.

[Pete Holmes]

What?

[Brandon Rogers]

Boppers.

[Pete Holmes]

Boppers.

[Brandon Rogers]

Poppers.

[Pete Holmes]

Poppers?

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like jalapeno poppers. Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

And that's just not a good image. That's when a nut will make that sound when you bust it. Yeah. That's when you step on them.

[Pete Holmes]

Can I tell you a slight brag? Yeah, I did Hollywood Squares and RuPaul and I don't know if it was their friend or their partner or whatever, but another lovely drag person. Person in drag. Drag identifying. I think like a non trans drag person. But I can't know. Let's just say I was keeping my mouth shut on any guesses. Any, any, any labels. What a beautiful guess.

[Brandon Rogers]

Well, you could say they were a. Factually, you're right. You want to be right on the money with not saying the wrong term.

[Pete Holmes]

How dare you. How dare you.

[Brandon Rogers]

I'm going a whole interview. How dare you, Peter. I'm doing a whole interview with no

[Pete Holmes]

swearing and you touched me before I touc.

[Brandon Rogers]

This never happens. I'm a toucher.

[Pete Holmes]

Cheers.

[Brandon Rogers]

Bing.

[Pete Holmes]

All I'm saying is the three of us got to riff and apparently this person was a very big drag person. So I'm a dumb dumb for not knowing them. So anyway, we were talking about drag person.

[Brandon Rogers]

Was it Eureka?

[Pete Holmes]

Is Eureka a big drag person?

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh yeah, they're bit. They're. They're. Or corn. Well, no, Cornbread's not big anymore. Her name's Cornbread Jatay and she's lost all the weight. Has nothing to do with what I want to hear. What happened this evening though?

[Pete Holmes]

We were just riffing on an answer. I don't want to ruin Hollywood Squares for you, but you know, you write the jokes and you have the joke answer. You'd be great on it.

[Brandon Rogers]

I've seen a square or two you can do.

[Pete Holmes]

You're going to be center square in 2029.

[Brandon Rogers]

That's the place to be. Right? Right in the center.

[Pete Holmes]

Right in the center. Just a big gang of people

[Brandon Rogers]

now.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't want to swear now.

[Brandon Rogers]

You better not swear. You swear before me. I am not above getting violent in front of your prod.

[Pete Holmes]

What's your favorite non swear swear. Like cheese and rice for Jesus Christ or fudge. Go fudge yourself.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, Jack hole.

[Pete Holmes]

Jack Hole's a great choice.

[Brandon Rogers]

I also heard a J.

[Pete Holmes]

Off you friggin Jay off. Jay off.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, I like that. I heard a great slur for white people. Cum skin.

[Pete Holmes]

Cum skin.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yes. And it's not a Bad word because it's part of a fictional word, so that doesn't count.

[Pete Holmes]

Cum is a real word.

[Brandon Rogers]

Well, when you say cum skin. You might have swore. Is come a swear you. That might have come with an O. It's not a swear.

[Pete Holmes]

Be called came.

[Brandon Rogers]

Came. Came. Came. Yeah, it's a harder to pronounce the came. Yeah. Nice.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna say I have came instead. I'm. I'm gonna come.

[Brandon Rogers]

I have. Actually, it's technically still grammatically correct. I have come. I have. We both say I have come or I have came. Alan Cumming.

[Pete Holmes]

Alan Cumming. What a great last name for a gay.

[Brandon Rogers]

This is a very gay episode. You can say. Yes, you can.

[Pete Holmes]

Can I make the arbiter if I can say it?

[Brandon Rogers]

That's what my mom said when I popped out a gay.

[Pete Holmes]

Look, a gay. Hooray. A gay.

[Brandon Rogers]

I believe I came out ass first.

[Pete Holmes]

You came out while coming out.

[Brandon Rogers]

I did? Yep. She could tell right away.

[Pete Holmes]

You were on one rollerblade.

[Brandon Rogers]

She just said gay.

[Pete Holmes]

Gliding. In a way. There's an equilibrium going on with the gays. Yeah. Why am I saying it like trump? Equilibrium with the K. I don't know.

[Brandon Rogers]

That's a very big word for equilibrium. Who knows how he would say it?

[Pete Holmes]

Equilibrium. Like words. Anti Dish. Establishment.

[Brandon Rogers]

Very good.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Big. Too big. Too big. Little hands, little words.

[Brandon Rogers]

Imagine what you could do with little hands. All the locks you could pick.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. All the ships you could put in a bottle.

[Brandon Rogers]

That's true. Oh, you could assemble so many ships. You could do surgeries. You'd be a great surgerist.

[Pete Holmes]

You could be a surgeon. A pet surgeon. Oh, gerbils.

[Brandon Rogers]

Doodle gerbils and such.

[Pete Holmes]

A little.

[Brandon Rogers]

No one's operating on them.

[Pete Holmes]

The organs are the size of the operation game. Remember that? Yes.

[Brandon Rogers]

Little kidney. That game would scare the shit out of me.

[Pete Holmes]

Of course.

[Brandon Rogers]

I hated that game. I don't like any games. Or the game with all the yellow pieces that would. There was a timer and throw them all at it. Was that what it was called? I believe so.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it was anxiety.

[Brandon Rogers]

Perplexion.

[Pete Holmes]

Perplexion. Is that what it was called? Perplexion?

[Brandon Rogers]

I don't know what the hell games are called.

[Pete Holmes]

What is the game? Sorry, I hate to bother you. No, that. That sounds like I'm giving you shit. I really do hate to bother you with this. What is the game called with the yellow pieces that shoots up? It's called Anticipation. Do you have socks?

[Brandon Rogers]

No, we don't have that. Gaming birthday?

[Pete Holmes]

No. Perfection. Perfection. It started with the P in Brazil. More of a laid back.

[Brandon Rogers]

Perfection. Yes, yes. They have perfection. That's the game they play in Brazil when it has to do with their asses. Am I right?

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God. Okay. You're also the first to go for a mic. Cheers. Before you did one earlier. Yeah, but.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, we were pretending to touch something else.

[Pete Holmes]

Squish people don't do that.

[Brandon Rogers]

I've done it.

[Pete Holmes]

Docking.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, Doc. Oh. I didn't say go inside of each

[Pete Holmes]

other like the force can.

[Brandon Rogers]

I think docking is when one absorbs the other. But you can just do sword fight. That don't hurt nobody.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, no. That's just playful banter.

[Brandon Rogers]

That's like a. Yeah, that's how you warm up. It's a comedian thing. Those watching might not understand. It's how we warm up before shows.

[Pete Holmes]

We touch Ding Dongs.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. Whatever you got down there, we just touch.

[Pete Holmes]

Pants are down. Bones are hard.

[Brandon Rogers]

That's right.

[Pete Holmes]

And they're.

[Brandon Rogers]

That's how you know a comedian respects

[Pete Holmes]

you if he lets you.

[Brandon Rogers]

Well, if he's hard.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Every comedian.

[Brandon Rogers]

Or if she's hard. I don't know what they're packing.

[Pete Holmes]

It could be.

[Brandon Rogers]

Could be.

[Pete Holmes]

I believe the clitoris is a small.

[Brandon Rogers]

Everyone's got a.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that the name of your book?

[Brandon Rogers]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Everyone's very progressive.

[Brandon Rogers]

And if you don't agree with it, you're on the wrong side of history. And look down, look down and look down. Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

And if you like the book, you're gonna see a little more of something than less.

[Pete Holmes]

Hmm. Your cock.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, well, it just makes people wait.

[Pete Holmes]

You say cock, though. That's a swear.

[Brandon Rogers]

Cock isn't really a swear because it for all farmers use it. Right. There's. That also covers ass.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Ass is a donkey. Cock is a rooster. Pussy is a cat. Twat is a type of bird. People don't know that.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, yeah. Is it a twat? Hey, get a hold of your twat. Flying off.

[Pete Holmes]

I have questions about you.

[Brandon Rogers]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

And we're going to. Now that the. The riff dump is done, do you feel good about it? That's for you. I was.

[Brandon Rogers]

I was assuming this potion was for. It's your d. Drink I like. And it matches the couch. So I could spill on it and that.

[Pete Holmes]

It was a white couch. It's just saturated in magic. Mine. Nice.

[Brandon Rogers]

But yes, it is quite green.

[Pete Holmes]

You may have it.

[Brandon Rogers]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't have to have it.

[Brandon Rogers]

Is it for hangover? I don't drink alcohol. Just so you know, if that's what the Alcohol. Well, I'm not hungover.

[Pete Holmes]

Is.

[Brandon Rogers]

Whatever. This looks like a hangover cure.

[Pete Holmes]

It does look like a hangover cure. Anyway, so. What? Your videos. I was just watching them. Remember? You thought I would never say it, that I was just watching all your videos?

[Brandon Rogers]

It's crazy to think that you have seen stuff I've made. I feel like we exist in different. Like. Like DC and Marvel. I feel like we're.

[Pete Holmes]

When Tom Cruise. Did you watch Tom Cruise's on Oprah

[Brandon Rogers]

Wins Jumping on the Couch?

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, no. He just got an Oscar.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, good.

[Pete Holmes]

You watched that.

[Brandon Rogers]

I don't watch anything. I really don't watch anything.

[Pete Holmes]

It was on YouTube. Oh, it was on your platform.

[Brandon Rogers]

Fuck me. Yeah, I saw it and I was very happy. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's not suitable for ads.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, is it? Oh, what did he do?

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, it's not violent. No, it's actually quite beautiful. But he said he acknowledged all the other honorees and one of them was Dolly Parton.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh.

[Pete Holmes]

And he goes, dolly Parton. And I said to Val. Exactly what you said. As I was like, I don't think Tom Cruise should know who Dolly Parton is. Right. Like, it just seems wrong.

[Brandon Rogers]

It's weird to think that they can be in the same room at the same time.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't think they can and they shouldn't. It didn't cut to her. I'm just saying you could assume that, like, you and me, maybe. Which is what you're saying. I don't feel that way. But I'm just saying. Because I'm.

[Brandon Rogers]

I get the analogy.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

I also can see how Dolly Parton could just be Tom Cruise in drag. We've never seen them in the same room.

[Pete Holmes]

Remove the. If these are removable, I could make a cruise out of that.

[Brandon Rogers]

It's Dolly without the Bazungis.

[Pete Holmes]

Lose the bazungis. You're 30% on your way to a cruise.

[Brandon Rogers]

I think you're right. Get a makeup wiper, too. And some buzzers.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, get the makeup off. Get the wig off. Is it a wig? It's a wig.

[Brandon Rogers]

It's a wig.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a wig.

[Brandon Rogers]

That's a wig. It's a wig. So that's why.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, you might even think that's a wig if you get the boobs in the wig and the makeup off. I'm not sure that's not Tom Cruise.

[Brandon Rogers]

I mean, if you can get them off. Dolly, period.

[Pete Holmes]

Good luck.

[Brandon Rogers]

I'm sure she's a fighter.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, no, I wouldn't cross Dolly.

[Brandon Rogers]

I wouldn't it's hard to. She's huge.

[Pete Holmes]

You go past her, you mean.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, Double.

[Pete Holmes]

Double word. Double meaning.

[Brandon Rogers]

Double meaning.

[Pete Holmes]

So I'm your Dolly and you're the cruise.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. I give you two big meanings. She's very hard to physically pass, go around.

[Pete Holmes]

And also, do you think t. Cruises. You don't have to.

[Brandon Rogers]

What about. What do I think? Is he. Is he Dolly? Is he.

[Pete Holmes]

Is he a gay man? Oh, it's not that kind of show.

[Brandon Rogers]

I think he's a little. I think he's a little. I mean, you kind of have to be a little gay to work in Hollywood. You're a little gay. That is our. That is the gay sound. That's the sound of pride. That's a.

[Pete Holmes]

It's my holding in a laugh sound. But it is not working out well for me during this episode. Now, I'll give you that. There's something a little queer about all of it. That's why, like, John Wayne being, like, such a macho. He was wearing makeup and he has a toy gun, and they're like, that's my guy. And I'm like, he had his sides

[Brandon Rogers]

in his back pocket. He's basically Mike tv, just grown up. A little cowboy hat and his guns.

[Pete Holmes]

Totally.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And needed some attention. That's pretty fruity.

[Brandon Rogers]

Fruity? You say fruity? It's fruitier than a box of Fruity Pebbles.

[Pete Holmes]

I. I want to be. Oh, a gay guy that wants to, like, pass as straight. He's like, I don't want to be fruity. I want to be Coco. Coco.

[Brandon Rogers]

Well, no, that's something else. You can get canceled for, say, Coco, if you want to be Coco. Well, it depends. It depends on what kind of guy is saying it.

[Pete Holmes]

But does this mean. What did I step in just then?

[Brandon Rogers]

Fruity Pebbles? I think fruity is. Is definitely the gayer between the two.

[Pete Holmes]

And what is Coco? Is there some meaning of cocoa I don't understand. You mean, like, racially?

[Brandon Rogers]

Racially, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I just meant non fruity.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh.

[Pete Holmes]

Because there is no tricks.

[Brandon Rogers]

No, that's.

[Pete Holmes]

Tricks is very fruity.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, that's very. I guess all of the fruity cereals or something.

[Pete Holmes]

Not really a fan of the fruity cereals.

[Brandon Rogers]

I'm not either. I like the stuff you had to really munch on, like Chex. Chex or not Chex. What's the thicker one? The wheat ones with all the.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, Shredded Wheat.

[Brandon Rogers]

Come on the outside.

[Pete Holmes]

Shredded Wheat with the cum. Cum skin with the cumskin. It's a white cereal.

[Brandon Rogers]

It's a white Cereal. But I still ate it.

[Pete Holmes]

If the cereals are races, Shredded Wheat is a white man.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Shredded Wheat is an old white man.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Fruity Pebbles. I'm not going to riff on that, but I think we know that's not for me to riff.

[Brandon Rogers]

Corn Flakes are.

[Pete Holmes]

Cornflakes is a European exchange student.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh. There's something about them that seems a little elderly.

[Pete Holmes]

They're. Oh, there's. Well, they look like scabs.

[Brandon Rogers]

It looks like corn scabs.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like my ointment didn't work.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And now there's a bowl of something here.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. It looks like human shavings on a fucking. Oh, I just swore.

[Pete Holmes]

How.

[Brandon Rogers]

What time are we.

[Pete Holmes]

It looks like a bowl of eyelids.

[Brandon Rogers]

I made it 20 minutes at least. 20 minutes.

[Pete Holmes]

God fucking damn it.

[Brandon Rogers]

I'm sorry.

[Pete Holmes]

We can wrap up now.

[Brandon Rogers]

So you could bleep it.

[Pete Holmes]

You could bleep, but now that you're off the chain, you can swear as much as you.

[Brandon Rogers]

I can. I can now. I don't want to watch. I go the rest of this without any.

[Pete Holmes]

You can do it. You can do it.

[Brandon Rogers]

That's a challenge.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm going to say that's the end of our race game. Cinnamon toast. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is French.

[Brandon Rogers]

That They're. Yeah, they're French. It's a French.

[Pete Holmes]

We're back, and we're laughing at a riff about one of the races of one of the cereals.

[Brandon Rogers]

And it did.

[Pete Holmes]

It didn't make it. So you can enjoy. What did one of us say? It was me.

[Brandon Rogers]

What is it?

[Pete Holmes]

Which one of us. Me said something about one of the cereals. Me. That wasn't. I thought it was okay, but it got cut. It wasn't. Cinnamon toast is French.

[Brandon Rogers]

It's not.

[Pete Holmes]

That made it.

[Brandon Rogers]

That one made it. They are French. And that's.

[Pete Holmes]

Honeycomb Is Swedish Honeycomb.

[Brandon Rogers]

I just see a bunch of holes. Honeycomb. I. I never liked Honeycomb kicks.

[Pete Holmes]

Nobody likes honeycomb.

[Brandon Rogers]

Kicks is Mormon.

[Pete Holmes]

Kicks is Mormon. Not just white. Utah Mormon.

[Brandon Rogers]

They're all each other inside that box.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, is that where you go?

[Brandon Rogers]

I just assume that's what they do. I don't. I'm not allowed in the temple. I don't know what they do in there.

[Pete Holmes]

No one.

[Brandon Rogers]

It has to be each other.

[Pete Holmes]

You're not allowed. Hot riff. From kicks to a hot temple riff.

[Brandon Rogers]

It's not a bad thing to say that some people do each other. That means they're all good. They all find each other good enough.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't back away from it. I'M not.

[Brandon Rogers]

I'm throwing my bike down, and I am not backpedaling.

[Pete Holmes]

Nice. You got one of those bikes where you backpedal and it's the brakes, don't you.

[Brandon Rogers]

It's one of the. Yeah, yeah. It's. You know, I'm not a risk taker.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a child's bike. Let me talk about your videos.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Because they're so funny, and I don't. I'm your Dolly Parton and you're my tea cruise.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

And we shouldn't exist, but here we are.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But I watch your videos and I'm like. It's like. Well, I said to Katie, I was like, this is, like watching, like, the Office or something. But it's been sped up like 30%, which is a lot. But it's legit funny, and it's, like, reckless and kind of crazy. It feels almost like jackass at times. Cars are getting lit on fire. There's blood, there's puke, there's jokes, there's characters, there's conjoined twins. And you're watching it and you're just sort of like. But I think under all of that spectacle are the bones of, like, legitimate comedy. You know what I'm saying? Like, you're playing the game of the Internet. Not that that's what you're doing, but, like, you are fitting in with the Internet and giving people loud and fast, but underneath that, the foundation of that house is traditional and funny and solid. And there'll be bits and reminds me. I'm sure you get this all the time, but there's, like, kind of an Ollie G flavor. Something pranky, something improv y, Something raw, and therefore something, like, authentic. Like, it's unfakable. What you're doing is. Is unfakable, and you're capturing it. So I'm very curious about your process and how many times things go wrong, what your neighbors think when you're doing this stuff.

[Brandon Rogers]

They don't think good things.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't. They can't.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You would be a nightmare.

[Brandon Rogers]

Constantly move. I. I. Do you live anywhere long?

[Pete Holmes]

Is that true?

[Brandon Rogers]

I just. At the place I live now, I don't do any filming there. I just no longer film where I live. You just can't. And.

[Pete Holmes]

But at the beginning, you did.

[Brandon Rogers]

At the beginning I did because I was literally foregoing having rent money so I can make videos. Like, I. I didn't have the means to move anywhere and. And. Or certainly to rent a studio. So it was either filming in public or trespassing or being very quiet in my own place. And then ADR ing the audio somewhere where I can be loud or, you know, something like that.

[Pete Holmes]

So sometimes you're just going to.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you'd add the scream later.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. In a place where I'm allowed to be loud.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right where I went. Because there's so much noise. And again, you know what else it reminds me of is arrested development and 30 Rock. It has this, like, if there can be a joke, like when you go, I said no carbs. And you throw them.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's just like, kind of old school, but also very modern, but very, very good. Very funny.

[Brandon Rogers]

Every one of those things you just mentioned was a huge inspiration. You know, I grew.

[Pete Holmes]

And also, we're out of time.

[Brandon Rogers]

I was.

[Pete Holmes]

I love that you're all lit up and you're ready to go, and I'm like, we're out of here. Go, go, go. Everything I mentioned was. Was a.

[Brandon Rogers]

With the early 2000s, was the time for mockumentary Arrested Development, the Office, Parks and Rec. Cloverfield. Every. You know, all these movies and TV shows were showing that look, you can capture something really cool for a horror movie.

[Pete Holmes]

Cloverfield.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

I was very inspired by that.

[Pete Holmes]

I.

[Brandon Rogers]

Obviously, it was a big budget thing and had big.

[Pete Holmes]

I understand, but it.

[Brandon Rogers]

But, like, what. The heart of that movie wasn't the spectacle of the whole. It was like the fact that it was. They're capturing just what you. What they want you to see.

[Pete Holmes]

You're doing that. These whip pans at the exact moment.

[Brandon Rogers]

There's a lot of John Waters in that stew. There's a lot of, like you said, Sacha Baron Cohen. Just the mockumentary format. I like the absurdity of John Waters. I love, like, the. The visual grasp that, like, people like Tim Burton or Tarantino have on their work. I love that when you see their stuff, you know, it's something from. Yeah, from them. And so. Well, you have that.

[Pete Holmes]

There's like. Like, you can watch one and you're like, oh, it's one of these.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

Thank you. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it also. In the bet.

[Brandon Rogers]

Sorry, I was just saying that's the

[Pete Holmes]

goal in the best way. Because there is a way to say this, because I'm older than you, and it would be code for, like. It's overwhelming. That's not what I mean. It feels like vines. We love vine, that are stitched together. It's like, what if you write. I meant that as a compliment. It's like there's no six seconds that you couldn't just post as a Vine.

[Brandon Rogers]

It's interesting you observe that because vine became. I mean that was my launching board. But also that became sort of the standard I held for jokes. Like 6 seconds get to it is sort of like our. You know, I used to work in sales and they always taught us like, if you want the next person to talk, just wait seven seconds. People can't go past that sixth second without getting uncomfortable. And I think there is something mental about us. We have. There's something about six seconds that we're just. We either become bored or we come aware of our surroundings every six seconds. I feel like if you're not giving something that's either interesting whether it's visually or verbal.

[Pete Holmes]

Like the puke and the. In the helmet.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, yes.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like just. You really caught me off guard. And I bet we could watch it and go. It was six seconds since the last thing.

[Brandon Rogers]

And I also have like dangerous adhd and so I'm very aware, really. I'm very.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm kidding. But like people don't usually want to play the what race is a cereal game with me. That's just two ADD dogs sniffing each other's be.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yes. Cheers. If you, if you want to feel worse, I was going to say cornflakes might be Asian because of yellow.

[Pete Holmes]

Yep.

[Brandon Rogers]

You can snip this too if you want, but I'm half Asian, so you could leave half of it.

[Pete Holmes]

Leave it in, leave it in, leave it in, leave it in, leave it in. Cut it out. I don't know. Leave it in. Okay, go.

[Brandon Rogers]

Anyway, what was it. But what the was I saying?

[Pete Holmes]

We're not saying it's an ADD thing. A six second thing.

[Brandon Rogers]

See, you just witnessed my addiction.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm Dr. Amon.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, well, I get bored. Six seconds. I start to get bored. I mean when I'm watching something, I find myself very aware of how long it's been since a joke happened or a scare. If I'm watching a horror.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

You know, so I think in all the Internet's a shouting contest. It's. I'm a filmmaker at heart. I'm a storyteller at heart. I love acting, playing characters. That traditional pre Internet form of entertainment. Yep, that's in there.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what I'm seeing as the foundation. That's why it's not just a guy going, speaking of old horror movies, they go, oh, Night of the Living Dead. It's this huge hit and they were like, there was a kill every. It was Something like every seven minutes. So then if you look at all these movies that came out after that, there was a kill every seven minutes and it was like, yeah, but that's not what. I don't see you doing that. I don't see you mimicking our attention span. I see you being honest, like doing something you'd like to see. Yeah. With your add and. Yeah, also.

[Brandon Rogers]

And I shoot while I edit and which actors don't love because I'm writing as we're filming.

[Pete Holmes]

But what do you mean you shoot while I edit?

[Brandon Rogers]

Well, I edit all my own stuff, but I'll take home the footage that night after we film it and I'll edit it, you know, or maybe the next day at the latest. But I'll cut it together so I'll know that like, who actually you were going back to shoot the second half of the scene. I'm like, this needs to get darker, you know, this needs to get lighter. This needs.

[Pete Holmes]

Because how would you know unless you

[Brandon Rogers]

saw it and it's. It. And I'm really not a big fan. Obviously, like for time and money, it's more economical to film everything at once and then edit everything at once. But I just feel like while you're. You're throwing stuff in the crock pot while it's simmering, you're tasting it as you go there. Yeah, you do, you do kind of. You just feel like, okay, this is going on too long. We need a joke. We need to insert a joke here. We need to reshoot this part and add more bits in here. And then, of course, yeah, like the three act structure that I'm, I'm very married to. There's something about us as people. Like even today, a lot of the content that's made today, video essays and, and you know, drama channels even, we cover things in a three act structure. And I think as storytellers and listeners where we love hearing like the conflict or the problem, whatever the inciting situation is. And then we love seeing whether or not, you know, what's the outcome of that, you know, and then everything in between. And so you, you.

[Pete Holmes]

I like magic to it. There is a magic and it's in our bones. Morning, afternoon, night.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Adolescence, middle age, old age.

[Brandon Rogers]

We're a species of threes. And so when I, when I make my stuff, as long as it follows that three act structure. And the third act better be satisfying, you know, it has to. And so if as I'm editing, as I go, I'm like, oh, I want this ending. I know the ending I want because I'm cutting it together and I'm watching it unfold as I'm making it. And so anyway, keep going. And also, just the Internet being the shouting contest.

[Pete Holmes]

It is.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. You want the jokes to be. You know, you don't want the audience to get bored because it's so easy to click away, as opposed to cable television or a movie theater where you're kind of locked in for the full remainder of whatever. So, yeah, it is a little bit, like, manipulating their attention. Like, you know, don't look away. I keep jingling the keys and. Oh, you weren't expecting this twist to happen. And then this.

[Pete Holmes]

And why are there two serial killers outside? Right, right, right, right. Exactly. Just when you're kind of like, although I never get to that place with your stuff, I'm never, like. I never catch myself going, like, where's your pre boredom? Switching it up. Sometimes I'm watching something and I'm, like, reaching for the. I'm gonna switch away. And then something happens. You're. Before my hand is even going up, there's two serial killers outside, and now they're in the house. It's so fast. But not to say that it's better, but we're talking about Tarantino and film and storytelling. It seems to me, like if you can do this, you could do that. And is that something that you want to do? Or do you like this lane, the fast lane?

[Brandon Rogers]

It's funny you say that. I've been really struggling with this concept this week because I'm known for doing stuff that's fast. But I really want to. To be honest, I really love horror. I feel like comedy and horror are very similar genres in the sense that they are build up, build up, build up to either a scare or. Yeah, to a release of some kind, whether it's a joke or a scare. So, you know, and they all. They both play in, like, you know, like, extreme, bizarre. You know, you can get weird and gross with both genres. And I feel like I've done so much of that with comedy. I really want to lean toward horror. And so I've been thinking, like, you know, winter's coming up. I want to shoot something that can feed off of nighttime hours, something that's very nighttime heavy because, you know, it's dark half the time. And so I have. I got access to this really awesome building that we can shoot inside and outside of. And I think I've just been waiting this whole time just to find the right place to shoot a haunted house movie. Or, you know, or a haunted house like three part thing that makes a film that I release on YouTube. But yeah, so I don't usually do stuff that has an atmospheric, kind of ethereal, spooky vibe to it. But I really, I mean, horror is what got me into filmmaking and comedy is just what sells easier on the Internet. But, but yeah, I, but they are similar.

[Pete Holmes]

You know the Jordan Peele quote where he says the difference between a horror movie and a comedy. Sorry, we have to go to a word from our sponsors. Modern Mammals is a shampoo that will clean your hair and it doesn't look like you washed it.

[Brandon Rogers]

You got Modern Mammals to sponsor you.

[Pete Holmes]

There you are.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh my God. I thought these were condoms.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm a lot less excited, Long Dick. Listen, he said the difference between a comedy movie and a horror movie is a soundtrack. And he's not wrong.

[Brandon Rogers]

It's funny you say that because I usually use royalty free music a lot of the times, you know, just if it's just in the background, if it's something that's not taking center stage. This is the first project where I reached out to my friend Jess Weaver who does a lot of my music and I'm like, I want something from like entirely your composition.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

Like find a motif that you love and let's use that throughout the movie. Similar to like the Exorcist Halloween or you know, John Carpenter. And so I just, yeah, horror, long form stuff isn't really. What's the algorithm? What the algorithm gods are favoring at the moment, but it's what I love to do. And at this point in my career, I'm no longer at, you know, I hope the Internet discovers. I hope I get blown like, yeah, I already have an audience.

[Pete Holmes]

You're trying to mean not maintain, but you're trying to develop. You've earned the right to do something that you'd like to do.

[Brandon Rogers]

I want to do. And I think, I think it has just as much entertainment value as a good doom scroll, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, sure. I think you're joking, right? I mean, it's better than a doom scroll, I think.

[Brandon Rogers]

But in terms of like what? Because everyone doom scrolls.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, at the end of the doom scroll, there's no release. There's no release. That's the problem.

[Brandon Rogers]

It is. That's where the doom comes in. Because it feels like you've had time taken out of you.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it was all set up. No punchline.

[Brandon Rogers]

It was all set up.

[Pete Holmes]

The punchline is your dread.

[Brandon Rogers]

It was all pizza delivery guy and he doesn't get.

[Pete Holmes]

Thank you. That's right. I'm trying to think of pizza. Sex puns.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

69 Domino's. Here's my little Caesar. Oh, Going right to little hot and crusty.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, pizza is just not a sexy.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it's not. Nobody's like, let's eat some pizza before this orgy. No, no, let's carbo load and fat.

[Brandon Rogers]

No, pizza before an orgy is how you paint each other silly.

[Pete Holmes]

That's exactly right. Oh, my God. Nobody wants the guy that loaded up on pizza before the orgy.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, yeah. There's not really very many sexy foods. Salad.

[Pete Holmes]

Oysters get credit for being. It's like, if you'll eat that.

[Brandon Rogers]

That's what I was just thinking. If that's gonna go down your throat, anything's fair game, baby.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, same with any of the bread puddings. Tapiocas.

[Brandon Rogers]

You eat enough of those, you are cumskin bread pudding.

[Pete Holmes]

You sick red pudding.

[Brandon Rogers]

You went right to bread pudding. There's something real dirty about bread.

[Pete Holmes]

Pink pudding is a real cornflake person dessert. You have cornflakes in the morning, you're having bread pudding at night.

[Brandon Rogers]

I like.

[Pete Holmes]

Do I like bread pudding?

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, I hope not. Oh, you're poor toilet.

[Pete Holmes]

I do like. I do like oysters. Although I don't buy into the you do like oysters. Makes your wanger work thing has the opposite effect. I'm flaccid classic. And I was rock hard before I ate them.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, really?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

You look like a hard guy.

[Pete Holmes]

I always hard.

[Brandon Rogers]

You're always. I can.

[Pete Holmes]

It's always hard. So I am very spacey. All the bloods south of the equator. That's for you. Brazil. You didn't know why. And I was like, brazil.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, yeah, they get horny.

[Pete Holmes]

Although Brazil. Part of it's above the equator. That's on me.

[Brandon Rogers]

That's on me, isn't it? All of it is bit down low, baby.

[Pete Holmes]

I should have doubled down. Don't be the representative of Brazil. Tiny bit.

[Brandon Rogers]

Tiny bit.

[Pete Holmes]

Guess who knew Brazil.

[Brandon Rogers]

That's where all the people with little butts.

[Pete Holmes]

Because it turns out it was a magnetic pole.

[Brandon Rogers]

All those big old dumpers live down

[Pete Holmes]

south below the equator. You got a huge.

[Brandon Rogers]

I can't say big old dunkin dumper.

[Pete Holmes]

He can say it because he's half Asian. Are that.

[Brandon Rogers]

Is that. Is that an Asian issue?

[Pete Holmes]

No, you're Asian, I'm Asian, but that's Brazil. Unrelated. So you want to make a feature length horror?

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. Well, like broken into three part. I don't want to upload anything longer than 30 minutes. To me, at least as a viewer, there's something magical about 30 or less per episode.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Again, another number six second Vine, 30 second TV show.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. And also like 30 minute. I don't know, there's just like 30. 30 minutes to me, doesn't feel like a huge commitment. If you're like, with your. Your loved one curled up on the couch. You either do or don't want to watch this 30 minute thing.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's what's remarkable. Another thing that's remarkable about your work is that it is 30 minutes. And a lot of them have like 50 million views and they're 30 minutes. You know what I mean? Like four minute video that has 50 million. Way different from a. And I don't know your analytics and I don't even want you to look, but I imagine there's a good retention, you know?

[Brandon Rogers]

You know what it is? And this is just my guess because I don't. But like, I think it's rewatchability. I try and design my stuff to be very rewatchable because I'm editing it. I have to see it over and over. You start to scrutinize it and see all the fine details and really try and bring everything up to the finest quality it can be. And so people miss a lot of that stuff the first time they watch it.

[Pete Holmes]

You're right.

[Brandon Rogers]

And also I want stuff that's evergreen. My favorite movies are like, every year at Christmas, I watch Batman Returns and

[Pete Holmes]

I just love DeVito DeVito. The lick. The lick that made McDonald's regret making them. The Happy Meal.

[Brandon Rogers]

I know it's real. They made toys from that movie. And all the dirty things that happen in that movie, it's an S M

[Pete Holmes]

cat and a fucking melting.

[Brandon Rogers]

He was a molester.

[Pete Holmes]

He was a definite. He was definitely molest. Curious.

[Brandon Rogers]

He was a penguin that touched.

[Pete Holmes]

He. He was. He was perpetually wet and he had fins. And he was just like a scabby corn. Flaky, blue, pale. And it was Danny DeVito at peak. DeVito. We're talking twins. DeVito. It was like twins to your nightmares, DeVito. And McDonald's put like $100 million into that ad campaign.

[Brandon Rogers]

None of them watched it.

[Pete Holmes]

None of them watched it.

[Brandon Rogers]

Or a few sick ones watched it and were like Happy Meal toys.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

Put DeVito in the grab bag.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. He looks like a McNugget.

[Brandon Rogers]

He does.

[Pete Holmes]

He looks like the boot one. You didn't know there's three McNugget shapes.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, yes. The the boot. There's a boot.

[Pete Holmes]

There's a boot. There's a circle, there's an oval, and then there's like, a miscellaneous.

[Brandon Rogers]

A missile. A testy. A MC testy.

[Pete Holmes]

Turn it and McCuff.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, God, I laugh at a chicken McNugget.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't do it. It's a pressed meat. It's like Ikea. It's like pressed wood. You know how ikea is like 30 pieces of shit wood?

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, and. And they're like, this is oak. You're like, well, okay. That's what. That's what McNuggets are.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

You got.

[Brandon Rogers]

There you go.

[Pete Holmes]

Pressed me.

[Brandon Rogers]

Get every.

[Pete Holmes]

I want.

[Brandon Rogers]

My jokes are wasted.

[Pete Holmes]

Nothing's wasted. Every part of the buffalo.

[Brandon Rogers]

It's like you do comedy or something every day. Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm sort of a. This is like a nice kill, Tony. With 1.1 millionth of the viewership.

[Brandon Rogers]

You had me at kilt.

[Pete Holmes]

Kilt. Oni. You're Scottish. I am.

[Brandon Rogers]

How did you know that? I am part Scottish. I should have worn a goddamn kilt.

[Pete Holmes]

You could.

[Brandon Rogers]

My balls look great in a kill.

[Pete Holmes]

And they would. They'd go commando.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, well, if you're not going commando, you're not really Scottish.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what I'm saying. And you have the pouch on the outside that says there's one under two.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. I got a pouch on the inside. A few other things, too.

[Pete Holmes]

If you know that's a ball sack. I'm saying there's an external preview. It's a preview. You like this?

[Brandon Rogers]

Like this.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait for a breeze.

[Brandon Rogers]

Wait till you see the one in here. That's half the size.

[Pete Holmes]

Half the size, but twice the weight.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

For those of you that listen to the Friday editions of this podcast, we made it weird. I'm always talking about Saffron. I jokingly call myself Zach Saffron because now I'm no longer Pete Holmes. I'm Zach Saffron. Because Saffron, which I'm holding right here from Kenobody, is making a huge, huge difference in my life. I can't believe there is a natural way to. For me. Calm down. Calm down. Anxiety, dread, hypertension. Like that sort of feeling like I'm in a movie theater and someone's chewing their popcorn too loud and I'm just going to snap. That's gone. It's incredible. I'm still funny. I'm still creative. I'm still me. I'm still productive. More productive because I don't overthink everything. Saffron is incredible. I've been doing research after the fact because I started taking it. I was having a stressful day with my daughter. We were just hitting the. Hitting a wall. I took one saffron the first time. I took it 15, 20 minutes later. First dose, I felt amazing. I felt calm. I felt focused. Clear. Google it. Don't just listen to me. Google Saffron benefits. But Kenobody is batting a thousand when it comes to supplements and they have dialed it in. The perfect Saffron supplement. You take one with your morning meal, you take one with your evening meal and it's an absolute game changer. And you can get 20% off and be your own version of Zac Saffron. I can't recommend it more. It has been such a game changer. Go to kinobody K-I-N o body.com and use promo code WEIRD at checkout for 20 off. Check out Saffron, check out their other things, but definitely get their Saffron. Get it before I buy all of it. For real. I'm using my own promo code all the time. I love it. This podcast is sponsored by Casper Mattresses. If you listen to the show, you know Valerie and I don't really disagree about very much, but one thing that we can't really align on is firmness of mattress. Soft, firm, getting the blend Goldilocks just right. So when Casper reached out to be a sponsor of the show, I was thrilled. They were like, we'll send you a mattress. I was like, bro, we already have one. And we went to a showroom and we found the perfect Casper mattress and it settled that dispute once and for all. I slept on my Casper they make last night and I feel fantastic. I didn't finish that sentence. They make reliable, high quality mattresses designed to deliver consistent, comfortable sleep night after night. Casper's mattresses are highly rated. I'm not surprised by Consumer Reports. And out of 99 mattresses, Consumer Reports named Casper's the 1 Mattress. Their top rated all foam mattress of 2026. Casper mattresses are also built to be durable at long lasting. So you're not replacing your mattress every few years. And they have 100 night risk free trial. So you can give your Casper mattress a try. Risk free. And honestly, with 110,000 plus five star reviews, I'm not surprised. We love ours. Casper also offers a wide range of mattress types. So whether you like them firm, soft or somewhere in between, which is what Val and I settled on, there's something for [e-mail]. plus they just launched a brand new kids mattress so even the youngest sleepers in your family can get that same comfort and quality. And right now you can save up to $1,000 on mattresses when you go to Casper.com one last time that C-P-E-R.com and save up to $1,000 on the mattress you deserve. Quick fun fact did you know that helping old dolphins is actually leading to breakthroughs in human health? That's what C15 from Fatty 15 is all about. It's the first essential fatty acid to be discovered in more than 90 years. And it's all about supporting long term health and healthy aging. Fatty 15 co founder Dr. Stephanie Van Watson discovered C15 while working with the US Navy to improve the health of aging dolphins. And now Based on over 100 studies, we know C15 helps strengthen our cells, which is kind of everything because when your cells are healthy, your whole body benefits. When we don't have enough C15, our cells can get fragile and age faster. Since about one in three people have low levels, this is a big deal. Fatty 15 helps repair age related damage to cells, protect them, and support things like sleep, mood, energy and metabolism. In fact, 70% of people reported benefits within 16 weeks, which is pretty wild. Personally, I love it because I like anything that feels like I'm investing in my future self without having to think too hard about it. It's simple. It's one of those easy daily things you do that can add up. Fatty 15 was developed for healthy aging at every stage of life, from kids to grandparents. And it comes in capsules and gummies so it's easy to stick with. And fatty 15, it's on a mission to support healthy aging for all, including all ages and all stages of life. And you can get an additional 15 off their 90 day subscription starter kit by going to fatty15.com weird using promo code Weird at checkout. So you're Scottish. We don't have to talk about that unless there's something about. Here's what I want to know. Take me to the set of one of your videos. You've got all these props, you've got blood, you've got puke, you've got. I'm not being funny. A script or an outline?

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. Oh yeah. Script.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Script. Yeah, it's scripted. How much of it? When you watch it? We watch one. How many times are you going? I riffed that.

[Brandon Rogers]

Not a lot really. Especially playing more than one character because you better lock into what you're saying

[Pete Holmes]

because then because you're talking to yourself.

[Brandon Rogers]

You're talking to yourself. You can't improvise unless. Unless you think like on the way there. Oh, yeah, that is a funnier version. Tweak, tweak, tweak. But like, I like to go with. If I riff, I riff. But it's. I want to go in with this because there are some days where I get nothing.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

Like, that's the thing about. Like you're not every day this amazing poet.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

Because comedy and poetry go very. There's a fine line.

[Pete Holmes]

People call me Mary Oliver all the time. I'll be walking down the street, they go, mary Oliver.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

Weird.

[Brandon Rogers]

I only got Shel Silverstein.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, Shel Silverstein. No, that's great.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What do you. Nothing to do. Nothing to do. Put some mustard in your shoe.

[Brandon Rogers]

That's weird.

[Pete Holmes]

How can you tell if a window is open? Throw.

[Brandon Rogers]

Throw yourself.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, throw yourself out at.

[Brandon Rogers]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

Rorschach.

[Brandon Rogers]

You'll really know if it's open or closed.

[Pete Holmes]

Shack.

[Brandon Rogers]

I have thrown myself into a window. Anyways, what were we talking about? Dumps.

[Pete Holmes]

You're on the set, there's a script, there's props.

[Brandon Rogers]

Well, yeah, there it's. It. Well, you probably have seen the sets of my videos and other things because I. I film a lot on porn sets.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that real?

[Brandon Rogers]

Real, yeah. And actually there have been times where we've had to wait for scenes to be finished.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

On more than one occasion before we can move in and put our stuff, set up our lights and stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

I smell sex and. Yeah, gotta get some Febreze.

[Brandon Rogers]

There are so many places in LA. They didn't exist 15 years ago, but now you have all these independent filmmakers. You know, it's not just like big studios making movies. So you have a lot of these pre dressed sets in LA that are in warehouses. A bunch of them. Like you'll have like a jail cell, a courthouse.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, I've been in those. Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. A lot of people. A lot of them do porn. A lot of them do, yeah. And all kinds.

[Pete Holmes]

A lot of them do.

[Brandon Rogers]

And I've seen some furry porn.

[Pete Holmes]

Furry? They.

[Brandon Rogers]

And let me not. They find ways where they take off

[Pete Holmes]

the costumes, they yip it. I think they call yipping. Yipping or something. Yiffing.

[Brandon Rogers]

I didn't know that. How do you know that?

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, you would.

[Brandon Rogers]

It would take a lot of fur to cover you.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Brandon Rogers]

You would require very expensive fur.

[Pete Holmes]

It would be a big bird or enough Alufagus. Snuffleuphagus was He a.

[Brandon Rogers]

What was that? That was the elephant, wasn't it?

[Pete Holmes]

Well, yeah. Horny elephant, woolly mammoth. No tusks though. Because he's an imaginary character.

[Brandon Rogers]

I'm so glad I don't work on Sesame Street. I'd be so sexually frustrated on that show because you can't. Because you can't say any sex words. You can't be very appropriate. I guess that's most workplaces, I guess.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. This is also true of a Kinkos. This is true of an enterprise Rent a Car. You would. You wouldn't do well at any of these places.

[Brandon Rogers]

I've gotten so used to just doing you.

[Pete Holmes]

Maybe that's why Oscar was so grouchy. He was.

[Brandon Rogers]

I would fuck the shit out of Oscar. I can say it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

Because I'm not being good anymore. Oscar was hot.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, he's dirty.

[Brandon Rogers]

There's something hot about him. He's good enough for the trash can. So what else will he'll do? Anything.

[Pete Holmes]

Who does Oscar look like? He look, he's handsome.

[Brandon Rogers]

He's hot.

[Pete Holmes]

But I'm also saying he's handsome.

[Brandon Rogers]

He has the Luigi Mangioni eyebrows.

[Pete Holmes]

He's got the giones. That's who it is.

[Brandon Rogers]

And you know he'd kill a CEO in a heartbeat. He probably has.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, we didn't know where he was. The lid was closed.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'd like to see him taking off the mask to smile for somebody.

[Brandon Rogers]

I would like that.

[Pete Holmes]

I'd like it too.

[Brandon Rogers]

I have a thing that's very. He would be on the COVID of a magazine.

[Pete Holmes]

A side by side of Oscar the Grouch and Luigi Mangione.

[Brandon Rogers]

I mean, right? I'm not crazy.

[Pete Holmes]

We can do it.

[Brandon Rogers]

I've seen both of them.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, that might be. Is Mangioni in jail still? He is, man. June.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh my God. I know a lot of people who'd like to jail him in their house.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, good looking men should get

[Brandon Rogers]

him on the show.

[Pete Holmes]

Zoom collect call, see if you can get here.

[Brandon Rogers]

I'm sure there's a. They could even cuff them to this.

[Pete Holmes]

We could get. But what if I thought like, sorry, I'm getting my news from you right now.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, but like, it's okay.

[Pete Holmes]

I cursory glanced at the photos and like it was so clearly a different guy. Like they didn't go for that. Like a jury didn't go for that.

[Brandon Rogers]

That they didn't go for What?

[Pete Holmes]

You don't know what I'm talking about. Like there's Luigi and then there's like the Photos of the guy that took his mask down. Different face, different eyebrows.

[Brandon Rogers]

I mean, if it's a different guy, they're both hot.

[Pete Holmes]

This is your hot take. You want both Mangione brothers, Like the Mario brothers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To fix your plumbing.

[Brandon Rogers]

They could. They could do a few other things in my plumbing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They could gunk it up for a, like, year. Make it worse. Oh, no, I'm kidding.

[Pete Holmes]

Grow up, Grow up. Okay, we're on the set of your shorts.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

You're not improvising. You edit it. So you're basically watching dailies.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. Editing dailies.

[Pete Holmes]

And then you edit them every day.

[Brandon Rogers]

You don't edit what you just shot. You kind of fades a little bit from your mind. So, like, when I throw in footage that I just. I'm like, I know that take three is the one I want. I'll watch takes one and two. Doesn't matter who the actor. Like, even if it's my own, I'll think, I know take three was the one I wanted. But then I'll be like, oh, no, take one was better. This knowledge, I mean, just being able to remember that fades more and more every day. You don't edit it. So I try and throw it in the oven as soon as I, you

[Pete Holmes]

know, get the ingredients.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. Because why not? And also, you just remember what your thought process was when you're filming. You're kind of like an editor, the entire process. Like, when I write a script, I'm already thinking about shot for shot, what it's going to look like. And then when I start, and then when I'm filming, I'm like, in the edit chair still, like, how is this going to come together? You know, I don't shoot coverage I don't need of certain actors. So actors will be like, well, you didn't get my coverage. I'm like, we're not cutting you for that line. Like, I know we're not. And so it does. Keep it fast. And then. Yeah. And you throw it all in.

[Pete Holmes]

Great.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

If I had one complaint. When you're on a film set and they do the whole scene while they're shooting, a guy listening.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's.

[Pete Holmes]

How about just five seconds of that? That's the Internet.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. Or room tone. How many times you have to sit for five minutes for room tone? Everyone's being quiet. I'm like, I'm pretty sure the 10 seconds we just sat through sounded a lot like the last 50 seconds. I think if you're on a Film set. And no one's. It's not one unified vision. The person directing isn't the person writing isn't the person editing. It's kind of just get everything so the next person has everything they need. And it's like, well, as an editor, I don't want to sift through everything.

[Pete Holmes]

Right, right. And we don't need it. If I was on a set and the director, you said we don't need a shot of you listening to this scene, I'd be like, thank God we got. We got a real one.

[Brandon Rogers]

Time really is money. I remember when I was like 5 years old, someone said that on TV there was like a scene with the film set. They're like time's money. And I'm like, time is money. And that was just such a powerful thing. And I always.

[Pete Holmes]

True.

[Brandon Rogers]

But like the older I get, the more I'm like it is if I don't. If we don't need that five minute shot of you listening and reacting like that's five minutes that we could use for literally anything. Even lunch.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right. You know, and when you're not on a film set, when you're getting the shot of the guy listening to the whole scene.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They have to set up the lights for them. And at least what you're doing is a little bit more run and gun. Am I correct?

[Brandon Rogers]

Very much so.

[Pete Holmes]

Which, which also it's like nobody watching your stuff is going. Well, look, I'm not disparaging lighting. Lighting is essential and all these things are essential. But sometimes there's something fun and vital about like go, let's go. And somebody knowing what they want being

[Brandon Rogers]

you, having you have good lighting, you have good sound and you have a good art department. You don't need much else on a set. Those three pillars, art, lighting, sound. I mean, and that's coming from me, who likes to. I like to take control of costumes, hair, makeup, like that stuff. I'm very hands on. I will hire, you know, makeup people in costume depending on what scene. But a lot of times I'm doing everyone else's makeup or I'm doing their wardrobe. It like takes a full hour from us all arriving on set to where we can even start shooting. Just cause I'm making sure every character looks the way they should.

[Pete Holmes]

But then you're ready to go, and

[Brandon Rogers]

then you're ready to go. And I used to have a union project. There was. I had two seasons of a show called Magic Funhouse, ended that out. It was a sponsor. Yeah, it was it was crazy. I really learned what too many cooks in the kitchen felt like.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it was awful.

[Brandon Rogers]

It was. It was too.

[Pete Holmes]

It'll drag you down.

[Brandon Rogers]

Just on set, you have 50 people.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And. And all of them are worried about their job.

[Brandon Rogers]

All of them are worried about their job. So they go above and beyond and they do things you don't need and.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

And Also that's just 50 people that have to communicate the same project.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

And so there's so much room for error. I remember just doing things on a bigger scale isn't necessarily better. There was a scene where a guy had to wake up. In my script, this guy wakes up and turns off his alarm clock. That's the only time we're ever in his bedroom. It's one shot of someone turning off their alarm clock. And so the producers wanted to cut it. They were like, we're going to need to build a bedroom. Put a. Bring in a bed. We're going to have to do. I'm like, what's the. Why do we have to. Why can't we just go to someone's. Like, just go to an apartment and shoot it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

We have to bring our Cater, our crafty. We have to bring our medic and we have to do this.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, there needs to be a medic.

[Brandon Rogers]

You're right. For the bed shot, waking up, there

[Pete Holmes]

needs to be a medic there.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

And it needs to be. You're really bringing me back to, like. And this is what your work has. Is that young fucking go. Like, let's do it. And why all these no's?

[Brandon Rogers]

I.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, look, we had a great producer on Crashing, but I would run into that a lot. And they were like, we need to cut this scene. And frankly, we would. Because it wasn't run. There wasn't a run and gun option when unions and everything is involved. But in your case, I hope you did find a bedroom.

[Brandon Rogers]

They built it.

[Pete Holmes]

They. Oh, they did build it.

[Brandon Rogers]

They built a whole room about the size of this room. They built this whole thing for one shot. For one shot.

[Pete Holmes]

And did you cut it?

[Brandon Rogers]

No, it made it. In the final thing. HE SLAMS his. It's on the first episode. But, like, if you see that, it's that. That was a whole bedroom that they built. Three walls. Yeah, three walls and a bed and nightstand, chandelier, everything.

[Pete Holmes]

That's really changed how I watch tv because when I watch, like, are you watching the Chair Company? There's.

[Brandon Rogers]

I love it.

[Pete Holmes]

So good. Did you watch last night? I haven't watched the best one.

[Brandon Rogers]

Is it really the best? At least once per episode, I laugh out loud.

[Pete Holmes]

This is. It's episode seven.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That just came out. It was like, oh, my God. It was all building to this. Like, some of them are tense. Some of them are funny. Some of them are funny and tense. This one's everything you want. It's the best. So your work reminds me a little of him.

[Brandon Rogers]

Damn.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Brandon Rogers]

One of my favorites.

[Pete Holmes]

No, he's. He's the king.

[Brandon Rogers]

I think you should leave the Detroiters all that. I. He's just a comedy genius, and he's. He's, like, kind of reinvented sketch comedy in a way. He's done things that, like, I haven't seen ever done before, where, like, the crazy person, the main character is often right. Like they're. Or like everyone else gets on their side or.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

Just. He takes the clown of it all so seriously.

[Pete Holmes]

But also, you know, it's something I think you have in common is, like, just a. You think ordinary life is absurd. Like, he really seems to think the fact that people kind of talk like this. Like, I've been on so many planes lately where there's, like, two business guys in front of me, and it's like something you would realize on mushrooms. Like, no one's really talking. You know what I mean? When you have that sort of like. Or kids notice that, where people are like, well, we're gonna find out who's who on the golf course tomorrow. And they're really talking that way. Then the other guy goes. And neither of them goes, are you fake laughing right now? There's just, like, a play happening. And what I think you and Tim have in common is like, that's hilarious and needs to be mocked. You know what I mean? That no one's saying what they mean. We're all kind of playing characters, and it's all sort of bullshit. I feel like Tim's work is a little bit angry. Like, he's angry that so many people are locked up.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And going around being, like, just not saying what they mean, not saying what they actually feel. Trapped.

[Brandon Rogers]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And that deserves to be, like, ridiculed.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, a hundred percent. I wonder what people are gonna think of it in 30 years, 40, 50 years when social norms have changed. I wonder if they'll still get those nuances. But you're right. They are.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the funniest now.

[Brandon Rogers]

It's so funny. I really hope it stands the test of time because it's such genius writing. Same with, like. Like, John early or Kate Berlin, you know, like, they're the same. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I feel like they're both going, how is no one talking about the fact that, like, sometimes people are like, well, you know, that's when I won my Emmy.

[Brandon Rogers]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, like, what? What? And I think they're frustrated. Not in a bad way. I think they're. And I see this in your work, and I feel it, too, is. I'm like. It's that mushroomy, psychedelic. You could be stoned. You could just have a lucid moment and go, like, nobody's being real.

[Brandon Rogers]

We're all being like, well, I'll tell you.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Brandon Rogers]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

When someone's heart is breaking, like, you really hurt their feelings.

[Brandon Rogers]

And they're like, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And they go in the bathroom and cry. Like, that deserves to be talked about.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. There is, like, a bit of frustration behind it. It's also just, like, observation. As comedians, I feel like our job is to hold our own tent of. Our own version of our own mirror up to society. So, like, this. You know, my. This is my mirror. It has these warps in it. This is my color. This is my stake. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

But this is what. And, like, I. I think that Tim. Comedians like Tim are just very transparent. They're. It's. It's just real life drag.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

Like, real life drag up to an 11.

[Pete Holmes]

Real life drag. And he addresses things like loneliness. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like the characters are often lonely or confused or isolated, but without ever really addressing it. Which brings me back to you. Let's not talk about Tim too much.

[Brandon Rogers]

I know. Yeah. He's awful.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't do it.

[Brandon Rogers]

Don't do it.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't do it. Don't. I'm wondering, like, what, Drew. What drove you to comedy when you were young? Did you feel invisible? Did you feel frustrated? Did you feel scared? Like, what drew you to the arts?

[Brandon Rogers]

I was very bullied growing up, but I learned. I learned to laugh at. Well, at school, mainly in the country. Oh, Northern California. Oh, yeah. But it was very conservative. I grew up fat, brown and gay in a straight white fbg, bro, you're. Oh, wow.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I grew up. What if you said that I grew up fbg and I was like, oh, fat, gay, and brown.

[Brandon Rogers]

Fat, gay, and brown. Oh, wow.

[Pete Holmes]

I got it wrong. Fgb.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, you were f. You were. I can't do your acronym.

[Pete Holmes]

Fbg.

[Brandon Rogers]

What?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I said fbg.

[Brandon Rogers]

Fbg.

[Pete Holmes]

F, Brown and gay. I changed it.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

So you. Sorry, Go back to your trauma.

[Brandon Rogers]

So Go back. Yeah. Let me just finish dumping. No, but, yeah, I. What was I even talking about?

[Pete Holmes]

What drove you to comedy? But I really am interested.

[Brandon Rogers]

Making someone laugh. When you make someone laugh, you disarm them a little bit.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

Or you win them over. It was just people couldn't pick on me if I could make them laugh. And you can't. Like, laughing is not a premeditated thing. You know, babies laugh. It's not something that we teach to other. Like, if something's funny, you're gonna laugh at it. So if someone who was bullying me laughed at one of my jokes, I kind of, like, infected them a little bit. Kind of got.

[Pete Holmes]

And was this, like, routine bullying? Like, it was like going to school where I will be bullied. Really?

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, I was. I remember having anxiety attacks, like, getting out of the car when my mom would drop me off, and, like, it was.

[Pete Holmes]

Did you tell your parents?

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, yeah. I was in therapy. It was a whole thing.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I was.

[Brandon Rogers]

I mean, I was picked on for so many reasons. I just wasn't. I didn't look like the rest of the kids. And I. I certainly.

[Pete Holmes]

Is it mostly white people?

[Brandon Rogers]

It was.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it was all white. And so. So brown was, like, capital B, brown.

[Brandon Rogers]

There were still other brown kids there, but, like, a lot of them were, like. First of all, a lot of them spoke Spanish, and I don't speak Spanish. And then I just also, like, I just wasn't. I was very effeminate as a kid, and that also got me picked on a lot. Um, and so I was. I was kind of poked from everywhere. But doing stuff that was funny seemed to transcend all of that. It. Like, people didn't see me as different. If I could make them laugh at something or. Or go ooh or ah or, you know, if I. If I could, you know, And I learned through video, that was a way to captivate them with all of the above, you know, I was.

[Pete Holmes]

I was making videos.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. In high school. In high school, I was making videos before YouTube was even a thing.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, wow.

[Brandon Rogers]

And we'd screen them in a classroom every Friday. We'd make something every week, and we were literally editing it in the camera. We fucked up a take. We would rewind back.

[Pete Holmes]

And I remember there were cameras that had plus minus buttons that you could rewind to the frame you wanted to go at, which was brilliant.

[Brandon Rogers]

This. And they were all tape. These were all tape.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

And. Yeah, so I. I was. I. I loved writing. I loved, you know, being a comedy. I just loved being funny. And I found that, like, oh, I could write funny poems and put those on, like, live Journal. Or I could find. I could draw, you know, draw funny comics. I was really good at drawing. I was like, well, what's the. What's the medium that can express all these things? My love for, like, visual, you know, storytelling. Videos just seem to contain all of that.

[Pete Holmes]

And it can be safe.

[Brandon Rogers]

And it could be safe. Yeah, and it's safe. It could be saved. Like, it was permanent. There was something about. About the permanence of it that I love that you could show it. So when YouTube came out, if I wanted to share a video with someone on the Internet, you had to wait for that shit to buffer. You had to wait for things to load. And with. When YouTube, it was like, no one had to wait. You send it to someone in Germany and it would just instantly start playing. So there was just a light bulb went off in my head and I just. I knew that this is right. If it wasn't going to be my job, it was going to be my hobby. I just loved making videos so much. But, yeah, so that's.

[Pete Holmes]

When did you go into therapy? How old were you?

[Brandon Rogers]

I was about 11. 11. Yeah, but 11 through. I want to say, like 14 or 15. I was in therapy. God, roughly.

[Pete Holmes]

Because of the bullying.

[Brandon Rogers]

Because of the bullying. Oh, and my. My parents were going through a divorce, and so that was. I mean, they were. My, My. Yeah, it was very rough because at home, you know, my mom and dad had their own problems, and then at school, I had my own problems. I had severe adhd, so I wasn't getting any homework done. I was constantly in trouble, constantly grounded.

[Pete Holmes]

By your folks?

[Brandon Rogers]

By my. Yeah, I mean, my folks. Like, ADHD wasn't really as talked about then as it is now, and I feel like I. I don't know if they fully understood it.

[Pete Holmes]

Hyperactive is what.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, yeah, hyperactive, which. I wasn't even that hyper of a child, but I somehow earned that fucking H. Yeah, I was a pretty calm age.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

But, yeah, anyway, I'm. Yeah, I'm.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, I was in therapy for, like, that's like, what, five years?

[Pete Holmes]

Five, four years. Because of the anxiety and the parents,

[Brandon Rogers]

I didn't even want to go to therapy. I think they just saw. They were like, oh, he needs therapy. Like, he's going through all of this. But I didn't like going because as a kid, it was like another place for me to talk about, just for me to relive all the bad things that have happened. That week. And so, yeah, it was, yeah, the videos were definitely an escape and they were also a way for me to make friends. You know, you obviously, if you can have people in your videos, you need to know people that want to be in your videos. So, yeah, it was a great way to stay social. It was just an escape for everything. You know, I, yeah, it was, it was, it was a no brainer. Like I had, I couldn't not make content back.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

I didn't even know what the word content. The word content didn't even.

[Pete Holmes]

Much later you made videos, you, you made projects. But it's still the same thing. By the way, like when you, what, what you're doing now, like even this, like, here's four bodies together, right? We're making this and it's an excuse to hang out. And sometimes when I'm doing a movie or a TV show, I'm like, this is all just an excuse to hang out.

[Brandon Rogers]

It's, it's all. Yeah, kind of. I mean, like, I certainly don't have a need to have a social life outside of my car. Obviously I do, but I don't have, I'm not like, oh, I gotta hang out with people. Tonight I just finished working with like 12 of my closest friends.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, when again doing crashing in particular because those were long days, sometimes people would go out for drinks afterwards and I'd be like, what? Like, I just didn't understand. Yeah, it's because I was doing too many things. So I was really burnt out by the end of the day.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But it also, there's a line in Mad Men where he goes, when this job is good, it meets every need. And that's how I feel about show business. When it's really grooving, you're like, oh, I'm with people, I'm connecting. We're having conversation, we're having lunch together, we're having dinner together. Now we're editing together and we're making something. It feels really good.

[Brandon Rogers]

It gets all of that, all that itches scratched.

[Pete Holmes]

It can. Yeah, for sure.

[Brandon Rogers]

I feel the same way. I feel like film, like making content. Like I love acting so much and I love playing characters. I love the whole, like you said, the drag of it. I, you know, I love disappearing into someone else, but then also being able to cut it together into something, you know, into something tangible and then do that whole process with people you love. Yeah, yeah. And then you get to premiere it if you're, you know, if you're feeling like it. Anything that I make that's longer than 20 minutes. I like to have a premiere for just the people who worked on it. To just be, you know, to watch on the tv.

[Pete Holmes]

An excuse to hang out. Also, you don't. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's also a control freak fantasy.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Being a direct, rimming and cut. You're deciding what it is. Yeah, These kids like. Are you watching Mr. Scorsese? No. You should watch out. It's on Apple. It's so good. You'll love it. As a director. Yeah, but it's talking about, you know, bullied, asthma, recluse, filmmaker, and then you're there and this world that you had no control over, that scared the out of you. I. I've said this before, but I want to hear your response. I'm a sound sensitive person because of my childhood. I'm very like, if there's a noise, I'll overreact in sort of a PTSD way.

[Brandon Rogers]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

I didn't know that until a lot of therapy.

[Brandon Rogers]

But anyway, I held in all my guests this last.

[Pete Holmes]

I could handle that.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, okay, good.

[Pete Holmes]

Please, let's go viral. The stinky way.

[Brandon Rogers]

Stinky way.

[Pete Holmes]

We would be doing crashing and there'd be motorcycles or a loud party and they'd send a producer and it would just go away. And I was like, oh, my God. They'd give them money. They'd go up to the people playing music and give them money, or they'd go to the guy with the loud motorcycle and give him money. And all I knew was it went away because we were shooting outside on the street. So it's like somebody would just go and make the scary noise stop. And I was like, yeah, this is for me.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I like comedy. Like, stand up because we're controlling that relationship. But film, even more so.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then when you're editing it, you talked about the editing that a control freaks paradise. Does that resonate with you?

[Brandon Rogers]

100%. I love having the ability to trim. I mean, all these people are involved in a film project. You have hundreds of people, and then you get a fine tune. What? It's all for all those people work. So you could lay this out in your little track and snip and you could take something out. And like, you're like, God, yeah, exactly. And I do like that. I also hate loud noises. I don't think that so many people should be driving such loud cars in Los Angeles.

[Pete Holmes]

Agreed. This is. Somebody scared the shit out of me on a motorcycle. And I'm like, what are you Doing.

[Brandon Rogers]

Who likes that? Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Who? Is his shirt flapping up? Fucking. I'm seeing your back fat right now.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

We're gonna bring back fat into this experience.

[Brandon Rogers]

Well, they scare you, and then they make you look at their body. It's not good.

[Pete Holmes]

First I'm scared, now I'm a little horny. I like it.

[Brandon Rogers]

That's the payoff. Wait, they get your heart racing and then they get your blood pump.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Brandon Rogers]

That's right.

[Pete Holmes]

Now that things are moving, let's send it to Brazil. Okay. That means boner town. Yes. Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

Boners. What were we saying?

[Pete Holmes]

God. Like quality editing, control freak.

[Brandon Rogers]

And also. Yeah. Just even being on set, it's. It's a little bit scary because I've been on sets where there's a lot of extras. Let's say there's a scene in a church or a courthouse.

[Pete Holmes]

Sure.

[Brandon Rogers]

Suddenly you have all these people. A lot of them you don't know, because a lot of them are people I either find on, like, LA casting or friends of friends or, you know, fans. I'll just fill the place with whoever. And it's scary because you have an audience of people who don't know you, who don't know the material, and they're having to watch you.

[Pete Holmes]

Yep.

[Brandon Rogers]

Perform or direct. And it's. It's. That's a horrible feeling. I actually hate days like that.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

Because I feel like I'm being scrutinized. I mean, you must feel.

[Pete Holmes]

I relate so hard. There were so many scenes where I had to do stand up. And it was in the script, in crashing. It was in the script that I did well. And I. I'd have to, in between takes, go like, guys, this is so awkward to say, but you have to pretend you like this.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

Because I'd be doing the stand up and it's just not for them. It's like 50 background actors. It's 11am On a Wednesday, and I'm like, my balls. Or whatever. And I'm like, with love and respect, this is an acting job. You're a little drunk. It's Saturday. You're having fun. You love this. Not for my ego here. It needs to look like a comedy club. We're having a good time. It was so hard. Hated it.

[Brandon Rogers]

So just in the script, just. He does well.

[Pete Holmes]

He does very well. And then there were times less frequently it would go the other way. Guys, you can't laugh. I'm bombing. But like, whenever there was a. I remember we were shooting one time and a guy in the front. It was supposed to be a white hot crowd. It was the Rafifi set. Mulaney was there. Eugene Merman was there. We were really recreating this vibe in the East Village. And there was a guy in the front row asleep.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

I was like, guys, we're filming you. I didn't say that because I'm a coward, but I was like, somebody needs to tell them they can't be sleeping or wearing earbuds. I'm like, you're in the show. You're a part of the show.

[Brandon Rogers]

How would you find these?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, well, that's. That's the real question is you never know who it is. I'd say the majority of them are actors and, you know, getting work, learning, film set. It's beautiful. And then I'm gonna say 3% of them are, you know, criminally insane.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, criminally.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

They just scoop. They're doing one of their extra trainings at the prison.

[Pete Holmes]

There's. Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

Gotta be in this fucking shit.

[Pete Holmes]

I can be in here. Are there chairs? Yes.

[Brandon Rogers]

Air conditioning Good.

[Julia Louis-Dreyfus]

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[Pete Holmes]

Health AI presents Painful Thoughts. I. I can't stop scratching my downtown. Mm. Yeah, but I'm not itching to go downtown and tell a receptionist I'm here to talk about my downtown. Some things you'd rather type than say out loud. There's no question too embarrassing For Amazon Health AI chat your symptoms and get virtual care 24. 7 Healthcare just got less painful. Okay, tell me about things that go. Did you have something. Am I cutting you off?

[Brandon Rogers]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Tell me about something that went wrong. Because you are crashing cars, you are squirting blood. You are. I mean, you're working with a conjoined twin. I mean, this is a real conjoined twin. Right.

[Brandon Rogers]

We almost separated him on accident.

[Pete Holmes]

Is this a friend of yours? How did this. How did that partnership come around?

[Brandon Rogers]

They had this video, this horrible video in mind, where it's essentially, I'm their mom and I'm Munchausen by proxying. Then I stitch.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait, that was their idea?

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, predominantly. The one on the right, she's the real sick bastard. The one on the right, she's the only bastard. Actually, the parents got married halfway through the birth, so.

[Pete Holmes]

My God. There's a whole unexplored region of comedy, it turns out.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Conjoined twins.

[Brandon Rogers]

Well, the thing is, they're just the first set of conjoined twins that I've ever seen that lean heavily into the bright side. Like the comedy of it, or I guess I'd say the dark humor of it, you know? And they came to me with the video idea. I thought this was genius. I was honored that they trusted me with this idea. I thought I kind of look like you. I think they'd buy that I was your mom.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

And we just leaned into that. That I was just this abusive mother, really, trying to lean into how disadvantaged she is.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

These kids. You're not gonna make me buy two movie tickets. And that's actually based on reality. They have to buy two movie tickets.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, well, two consciousnesses.

[Brandon Rogers]

It's price per head. That's what they get.

[Pete Holmes]

Price per awareness.

[Brandon Rogers]

Price perception. Pa. Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

How many eyeballs?

[Brandon Rogers]

How many eyeballs? Well, what if one of them on a truck. That's true.

[Pete Holmes]

How many axles? But you don't.

[Brandon Rogers]

You don't pay more.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a seat.

[Brandon Rogers]

You pay the same amount of road taxes whether or not you're driving a car with six wheels or two wheels.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm not trying to be funny.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Is it one seat? If. Is.

[Brandon Rogers]

Is.

[Pete Holmes]

Is there a. Is there a Bleeding. Because it's two people in one set of legs. So with respect, would someone sit in the seat next to them?

[Brandon Rogers]

You know? Yeah, they're kind of hang out, like, you know, don't laugh. If you laugh. That's what.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm not laughing. I didn't laugh. I thought. I'm not laughing. I'm not going down for this.

[Brandon Rogers]

Like, hey, man, this is.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm not going down for this. They're cool and, like, it's an honest question. Can you sell the seat next to them? Am I on the side of the conjoined twins or am I on the side of the amc?

[Brandon Rogers]

Well, you can sell the seat next to them, but it's like a kid seat. Like. Or at least someone who can.

[Pete Holmes]

I feel like. I feel like two. Two seats. I feel like two seats.

[Brandon Rogers]

My whole thing is, what if one of them doesn't want to watch the movie?

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's. This is the movie.

[Brandon Rogers]

Do they hand out a blindfold? Are they.

[Pete Holmes]

You can't. You're in. You got to agree, I want to pay for it. This is. What is that? Matt Damon, Greg Kinnear movie. Oh, were they your Stitch where they're conjoined twins?

[Brandon Rogers]

Did they.

[Pete Holmes]

Do they cover this?

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, I vaguely remember those. Stuck on you.

[Pete Holmes]

Stuck on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Farrelly brothers, I think. But I think they cover a lot of these issues.

[Brandon Rogers]

They probably did.

[Pete Holmes]

Getting married. You have to be. You have to be. I'm not even trying. None of this is that. None of this is what you think it is. This is an honest conversation about the reality of conjoined twins.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yes, yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Getting married.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You have to be like.

[Brandon Rogers]

You have to.

[Pete Holmes]

Very clear.

[Brandon Rogers]

You have to be very clear. I come with a buddy.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, but you also have to be like, we're marrying the right, Right, right, right.

[Brandon Rogers]

I'm marrying this one. Stuck in you.

[Pete Holmes]

Stuck in you. And then forget. We're not even gonna talk about the other stuff. We're not going to it. We're not doing it. So they came to you with this script.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it went huge. It's hugely viral, and now it's a partnership.

[Brandon Rogers]

It's just a really funny concept. And they were very easy to work with. I think that's a very big, important secret ingredient to any comedy is just like, having fun with each other. Can we hang? Are we having fun? The audience can always tell if they're having a good time. And I remember hearing them snickering when I was doing my bit. And of course, I'm laughing while they're doing. That's always a good sign if you have to break for someone else's laughter.

[Pete Holmes]

All I want is a show where everyone's breaking. Right. It's so fun.

[Brandon Rogers]

I love whenever the camera person cracks or someone who's watching the monitor. If whoever's watching the monitor cracks.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, forget it. Forget it.

[Brandon Rogers]

Got it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that's all I want.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And okay, so take me to when something went wrong.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, my God. We're doing a scene with a guitar. And this was also with a bunch of extras. We had a bunch of people who I did not know present. And one actor's playing a guitar and the other actors singing. It's an acoustic guitar with those little wires that are super sharp. That prick off the end of it. You know what I'm talking about?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, sure.

[Brandon Rogers]

And they swung the guitar back and it went right. Sliced vaginal. Vaginal cut on the top of his head. And you know, I don't know if you ever cut your scalp.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait, he cut his own head?

[Brandon Rogers]

It was. No, it was the. The singer. It was right down his.

[Pete Holmes]

His scalp with that guitar string.

[Brandon Rogers]

The guitar str. The little pokey thing at the end. And it was like. And we could hear it. If you ever hit a guitar against something.

[Pete Holmes]

Sure.

[Brandon Rogers]

Is that loud kind of thong kind of a sound? And of course, just blood everywhere because the scalp is a bleeder.

[Pete Holmes]

The scalp's a bleeder.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. And I just remember seeing it. And it was just. He had to go get staples that day and it was awful. I've never had an actor get hurt on a set. And the first time and only time. Well, wood. I was looking for wood to knock on.

[Pete Holmes]

Give me a second.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yes. You're good. It's good luck.

[Pete Holmes]

This is my erection face.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, yes.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm trying to get an erection face.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, it looks like you're trying to make.

[Pete Holmes]

Knock knock, knock, knock knock.

[Brandon Rogers]

You look like you're trying to make ketchup.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, in a way. In a way. 57 varieties.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, my God. Don't talk to me about tomato based foods.

[Pete Holmes]

You're not a fan?

[Brandon Rogers]

Not when they're coming out of your wanger. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, yeah, he had to get. He's fine. Mostly one eye kind of goes off this way.

[Pete Holmes]

And where are you getting these cars that you're crashing?

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, that was my car. I just. Well, it was. I. Hey, I don't look at it as. Now I have to pay for this fucked up front of my car. I've looked at it as like I have to Pay for this really cool shot that I already have. Yeah, I already got the shot and I just got to pay for it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that's right.

[Brandon Rogers]

And then I protect the SD cards like they're my testes. Yeah, of course I put them in. I take my sds, I take it from the photographer, I put it in my phone and the little zipper case on the back of my phone. Cuz that thing's always with me and it never leaves until I have it on my computer.

[Pete Holmes]

I. We shot Crashing coming up a lot. We shot on film. And if we had a particularly good day, I had film develop anxiety because anything could happen.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh my God, I can't even imagine

[Pete Holmes]

that you're going to puke this.

[Brandon Rogers]

So it's not fully in the bag yet.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, no. You shot it.

[Brandon Rogers]

You shot it, but you don't have it.

[Pete Holmes]

To queens.

[Brandon Rogers]

So what was the turnaround time? Like, how long did that take to develop?

[Pete Holmes]

They would develop it overnight. You could watch the dailies the next the Future. Yeah, I know. Money.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, I can imagine. That's like. That is time is money.

[Pete Holmes]

That's like. No, for real. My other fun fact is you could hear the films run out. There's a sound to a film camera. You'd hear it flapping. Yeah, but it's very quiet. But I got very good at going because they're 15 minutes. I developed a sixth sense for going. Like, just stop acting. Like nobody said cut.

[Brandon Rogers]

But I'm like, it's done, it's done.

[Pete Holmes]

And it was.

[Brandon Rogers]

Wow, 15 minutes isn't much. If an SD card says 15 minutes left, I'm switching that.

[Pete Holmes]

Of course, no, film's a whole bag of kittens.

[Brandon Rogers]

Wow. Yeah, wow.

[Pete Holmes]

They're not shooting the studio on film, I'll tell you that. That would be the dumbest thing in the world.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh my God. I don't know how they did it back in the day.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't either.

[Brandon Rogers]

And lights. Like, imagine how hot this room would be if you. If it was 20 years ago and we had to light it the same way, bro.

[Pete Holmes]

Torches.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, torches used fire and. And the. The thing that Macaulay Culkin hangs on the doorknob. What even was that?

[Pete Holmes]

That's a doorknob heater. Some of the richer people wanted a warm green. No, I don't know what it is.

[Brandon Rogers]

Joe Pesci hated that.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I didn't like it one bit. What are your Krembus movies?

[Brandon Rogers]

Home Alone for sure. Oh, oh. The Pee Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special. I weirdly had on every Year when

[Pete Holmes]

I was Peewee's Playhouse. Christmas special.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. Cher is in it. Is in it. Joan Rivers is in it.

[Pete Holmes]

Cher sits on cherry sherry.

[Brandon Rogers]

They make that joke.

[Pete Holmes]

Do they?

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't want to say I'm the next Paul Reubens. You could be, but it would have happened already.

[Brandon Rogers]

You look good in the suit.

[Pete Holmes]

Thank you. And we're back. We just did another riff we can't use. You got to come to the live tapings. You got to get on this couch.

[Brandon Rogers]

You got to get on this couch.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a lot happening.

[Brandon Rogers]

Long NDA Peewee.

[Pete Holmes]

Peewee's Playhouse. We love Peewee.

[Brandon Rogers]

Loved it. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, what do you think about the meaning of life?

[Brandon Rogers]

Happiness? Oh, I think happiness is the most important thing in life as long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else. Sure.

[Pete Holmes]

Because what kind of happiness is that? Gargamel happiness. When you're like squashing Smurfs and it delights you.

[Brandon Rogers]

I can gargle some happiness myself.

[Pete Holmes]

Gargamel Brooks. Oh, Gargamel.

[Brandon Rogers]

Brooks excited for Spaceballs 2.

[Pete Holmes]

He did the Smurf movie. Gargamel Brooks.

[Brandon Rogers]

Really good for him. Got that one under his little belt.

[Pete Holmes]

What are you excited for Spaceballs too?

[Brandon Rogers]

Mm.

[Pete Holmes]

I never loved Spaceballs.

[Brandon Rogers]

Really? I know. Are you a Star wars fan?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, interesting.

[Pete Holmes]

I remember being a kid and Bill Pullman, I was like, this guy's no Skywalker. Like, I was like, troubled by him.

[Brandon Rogers]

I know Bill, him and the candy should have switched places had Bill Pullman be the dog. That's actually kind of hot.

[Pete Holmes]

I would have loved a candy as Skywalker.

[Brandon Rogers]

I would have loved it too.

[Pete Holmes]

I remember that. There's something comedy can kind of be like. It turns it just this much and it kind of becomes grotesque. That's how I felt about Spaceballs. Like Pizza the Hut and. Oh, yeah. I just sort of like, it was just beyond the pale for my 8 year old self. And that's the last time I saw it.

[Brandon Rogers]

So are you Brooks fan?

[Pete Holmes]

I'm not a crazy. Like, some people are crazy about everything he's done. I have incredible respect for him, but I'm not like, this guy has the finger on my pulse 100%. Are you? No.

[Brandon Rogers]

John Waters would be that for me. John Waters, he's probably the only director that I really feel like, what did John Waters, he's known for Hairspray, but I love the stuff he did in the 60s before. He did a lot of rebellious, really queer movies that were just super vile. And watching them now, it's crazy because in a 60s movie, you expect them to be a certain type of pleasantness.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, sure.

[Brandon Rogers]

And in his movies, it's like. No, there's just, like, people, like. It's the raunchiest shit you could think of. Yeah. It was very rebellious for its time, and it was for people who didn't feel, like, represented in mainstream media. You know, they. It was very underground. They would go to theaters and they'd watch his movies, and it was, like, happening. Yeah. Like, the villains were the main characters. Like. And there's something very queer about a villain. And I think that's why so many queer people like Serial Mom. If you ever heard of Serial mom, that was one of his movies, like Suburban Housewife that just kills people. Anyway, I'm.

[Pete Holmes]

You're making me think of the great James Adomian bit where the guy on gummy bears.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Clearly gay. I'm not trying to be funny. Like, there's a lot of, like, male kind of effeminate men that are often like, these gummy bears. I'm not trying to be funny.

[Brandon Rogers]

That's what I just watched House on Haunted Hill and I'm like, oh, Vincent Price was gay.

[Pete Holmes]

Who? Yeah, exactly.

[Brandon Rogers]

I was just. Sometimes I'll watch an older actor and I'm like, oh, they were gay. Okay, bro.

[Pete Holmes]

Liberace. Nobody knew he was, like, a ladies man. Right, right. That's what they thought. And then turns out he was having sex with Matt Damon and he was Michael Douglas.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, damn.

[Pete Holmes]

You didn't see that movie.

[Brandon Rogers]

I did. I didn't see that movie, but I know the movie.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Brandon Rogers]

I didn't watch it, though.

[Pete Holmes]

Give me your gay id.

[Brandon Rogers]

Sorry.

[Pete Holmes]

Your hay. Oh, my God. It's up as butt. You gotta watch the video for riffs like that.

[Brandon Rogers]

I'm sorry.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, meaning of life. Happiness.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, happiness.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I have it worse than I do.

[Brandon Rogers]

We exist in a fucking fraction of time between two eternities. Like, we are dead for two eternities on either side of us, and we are in this little sliver. And then what? Like, we're supposed to just be what other people want us to be. Actually, that's the number one regret that people have when they're on their deathbed, according to Reader's Digest, is that they were like, I spent so much time being someone else for other people.

[Pete Holmes]

Tim Robinson. We're back to that.

[Brandon Rogers]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

Everybody's in drag. Everybody's pretending to be something.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. I'll tell you. Garlic and herb Triscuits. As a cracker.

[Pete Holmes]

I'll wake up in the morning and they go in the bathroom and they sing opera, but they won't tell anyone that they can do it. That's life.

[Brandon Rogers]

I want to see your version of being Tim Robinson doing sketches that, like,

[Pete Holmes]

I could get in touch with that because it really upsets me because I'm so with you. I'm like, you're dead. Yeah. I said this to someone recently. I was like, we're saving all our I love yous and all our I'm sorrys for our deathbed. It's fucking no way to live. No, just do it.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, both. Yeah, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

And be who you are.

[Brandon Rogers]

I think we live in a bubble of that because we here in la, doing what we love, we very much like. I. I need to remember that I came from, like, I used to work in an office and I used to hate that. And I used to do the drag. I used to. Well, thank you. Of course. You know, and I used to play the whole part. And I've, I've. I don't even think I was truly myself until I stopped having to be someone else for a paycheck. You know, and ironically now I'm everyone else for a paycheck and I only play other people, but.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. Just who I am in my free time. Not having to wear a mask is so refreshing. And I remember thinking at an my last office job, thinking, I want to just be able to jack off at 2 in the afternoon if I want to. I want to do whatever. I don't want to have to like, be someone all day for someone else or someone that I'm not. I want to just, you know, exist like a fucking crazy man.

[Pete Holmes]

Like a free person.

[Brandon Rogers]

Like a free person. And I feel like I finally have that now. But it's funny. All I want to do now is just play other people.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. But we are so many people.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it is fun to be the wicked one and then be the kind of like, more straight laced one. We're all those different sides. So even the, the free, expressive, artistic types, which isn't just artists, it's all types of people listening right now. There's still different versions of us inside that need expression, which is why it's so fun to see you playing all those different characters.

[Brandon Rogers]

It is fun. Yeah. People say, which one do you like the most? Or which one is the most authentic? I'm like, they're all kind of. I'm kind of dipping into something that, you know, is part of myself.

[Pete Holmes]

Of course.

[Brandon Rogers]

But do you ever.

[Pete Holmes]

Do you have any.

[Brandon Rogers]

Have any Characters that are so far from you that you like playing.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I just did a movie where I was an asshole and I loved it. And my on set joke was, I'm method acting. I'm in character because I just wanted to be a bitch all day.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh my God.

[Pete Holmes]

It was the most fun. Were you. I loved it and I miss it.

[Brandon Rogers]

Are you. Do you play. Are you a comedian in that?

[Pete Holmes]

No, just a guy.

[Brandon Rogers]

Just.

[Pete Holmes]

Just an. Just a bad piece of. And I was like, everyone think about that. You would be a contest winner if you got a month where you're celebrated for being a dick. Just being a total.

[Brandon Rogers]

That would be really fun.

[Pete Holmes]

Absolutely loved it. So I think my wife. I'm not saying I'm an asshole to my wife, but she knows my curmudgeonly side and she knows my. What makes me uptight and I just got to lean into that. But I do tend to play more cheerful people. So when I got to be that, I would say that seems to be far from who I am. And it was just really fun and really easy, to be honest. A nice person is just an asshole who like goes, don't say that. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I'm saying even the sweetest person. Mother Teresa probably had a couple moments where she had a great burn in her mind and she was like, bless you.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, I'm sure. Mother Teresa is kind of a bitch. I'm sure. Oh, no, I don't know. I mean, you kind of have to be. No one makes it that famous without having a little bit of a.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I'm saying everybody's a person.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And you can miss your coffee.

[Brandon Rogers]

Everyone, it. Everyone has human. The same human wants and needs and desires and bodily functions. Everyone else. It's crazy to think Taylor Swift takes dumps, bro. That's kind of crazy. Like she has a butthole. Like there's a hole in Taylor Swift that excretes.

[Pete Holmes]

I think about this all the time. No matter how amazing they are. That person pooped. Yeah. Neil Daily. If they were walking on the moon.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Then went back in the little ship and took a poop.

[Brandon Rogers]

Well, in his little diaper.

[Pete Holmes]

It was like, wow, I just walked on the moon.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Talk about Uranus.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah, Right, right. Next thing you know, ketchup, full circle.

[Pete Holmes]

Can you imagine how hard it is to poop in space? In space, nobody can hear you poop.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. But they can see you. Cuz you're all in one can.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that's right.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. There can't be that much privacy on those ships.

[Pete Holmes]

No.

[Brandon Rogers]

And it's not like the smell just goes away. Like, you. You open that door. That's the one on board. That's the airlock. I only know of my space. My space knowledge comes from the Austin Powers moon base. That's all I. Oh, wow. He had Mini Me in his suit, and he sits on the toilet and ejects Mini Me out into the. In reality, Mini Me would explode.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rogers]

Don't laugh at that. That's Mini Me.

[Pete Holmes]

Verne Troyer. Thank you.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I've enjoyed every moment. Oh, happiness is the key to life. I like that.

[Brandon Rogers]

I like. I like that. You say you. I like that. That's. Where did that question come from? Is that something you ask every.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. We just talk about the meaning of life. Do you think when you die, it's over?

[Brandon Rogers]

You have to assume that. You have to assume at least that, like, I hope not. But I always assume the worst. Hope for the best. And if it's over, I hope I got it all out during this.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Act like it's over and hope that it's not.

[Brandon Rogers]

Hope that it's not. I want to be a cosmic. I've watched YouTube videos on this. You become light and things, and you go into colorful places, and it's great. And then they all get sad when they get sent back here. So, you know, it has to be great. I hear.

[Pete Holmes]

I've heard good things.

[Brandon Rogers]

Yeah. Yeah. I hope you play Gene Wilder in the biopic.

[Pete Holmes]

Gene Wilder.

[Brandon Rogers]

I feel like you can do it. I've been imagining a top hat on you this whole time.

[Pete Holmes]

I want to sing the song, but I can't think of it.

[Brandon Rogers]

I know you're not gay enough. You gotta.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm like. I feel like I'm 12% gay. I think you need to be at least. Is that too high?

[Brandon Rogers]

12%'s pretty high.

[Pete Holmes]

I did a bit about this. If I was on a desert island with Ryan gosling, I'd wait 28 days,

[Brandon Rogers]

and then 28 days later

[Pete Holmes]

would both be zone.

[Brandon Rogers]

Y' all making ketchup.

[Pete Holmes]

But you're. And then I make a joke. Some people are, you know. While the plane's going down, they blow them.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. While the plane's going down, you could empty a few testies.

[Pete Holmes]

I consider it a carry on. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Well, we'll plug all your stuff up top. Thank you. This was really, really fun. You're a perfect guest.

[Brandon Rogers]

Thank you. I look forward to getting plugged. Thank you so much.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God. Stop it with queer culture. Stop the queer culture.

[Brandon Rogers]

Can't stop, never will.

[Pete Holmes]

I took away your gay id. I wish I could think of a pun for gay id. Leave it alone.

[Brandon Rogers]

I was gonna say fag tag, but I don't know if you can. That's what they.

[Pete Holmes]

In Boston, they call that the thing on the back of your shirt.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, your fag tank. Yeah, if it's hanging out.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it's a little thing that would let you hang up your shirt.

[Brandon Rogers]

Oh, that.

[Pete Holmes]

Kids would say it to me.

[Brandon Rogers]

I sing.

[Pete Holmes]

Look, I wasn't in therapy, but I was teased. Would you say keep?

[Brandon Rogers]

That was a squishy sound.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. You know what it was Four skins going over.

[Brandon Rogers]

I think. I think. I think mine went in yours a little bit that time. It's hard to tell when it's so fast, but I think I was the enterer.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God. Would you say keep it crispy? It's how we end.

[Brandon Rogers]

I'd say keep it crispy and keep it crispy. But I like it crusty.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Brandon Rogers]

Kellogg's Cornflakes. Kellogg's Corn Flakes. There it is. Good old Scan.