Jonathan Scott

Summary

Podcast Summary: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes — Guest: Jonathan Scott

Episode Date: October 25, 2023
Podcast Theme: “Everybody has secret weirdness, Pete Holmes gets comedians to share theirs.”
Guest: Jonathan Scott (Property Brothers)

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Overview

This episode features a deep, playful, and candid conversation between comedian/podcaster Pete Holmes and TV renovation star Jonathan Scott. The two connect over their shared quirks, relationship perspectives, and philosophies on life, touching on everything from family and fame to emotional vulnerability, wedding planning, and their mutual love of magic. The warm, fast-paced banter is marked by honesty and self-reflection, with both Pete and Jonathan frequently relating stories of personal “secret weirdness.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Secret Weirdness and Set Mishaps

Time: 06:00–08:18

• Jonathan shares his on-set forgetfulness: leaving his fly down, phone ringing during takes.
  • Quote: "Half of my show has been shot with my fly hanging open." (Jonathan, 06:29)
• Talk turns to cleanliness quirks — washing hands before touching anything post-bathroom and the irrational “rules” they set for themselves.
• Hilarious aside: Jonathan justifies picking his teeth with high-denomination bills, claiming they’re cleaner than ones.
  • Quote: “In my mind, I justify it, that the higher the bill, the fewer people have touched it... Do not put a one anywhere near your mouth.” (Jonathan, 07:22)

2. Twin Life and Social Oddities

Time: 08:18–11:10

• Jonathan discusses being constantly lumped with his twin, Drew, both in media and public perception.
• Common twin misconceptions and awkward questions: “If you get hit, does he feel it?”
• Pete draws parallels to how people interact with any visible difference or rarity, like extreme height or red hair, and the awkward social license people feel.

3. Fame: Boundaries and Social Media

Time: 11:11–12:46

• Jonathan reflects on public encounters and boundaries, explaining the challenges of being interrupted in private moments.
• Stories of rude fans and the double-edged sword of social media trolling.
  • Quote: “You’re human. You’re allowed to be sick, you’re allowed to have a bad mood, you’re allowed to not be invaded.” (Jonathan, 12:40)

4. Anger, Emotional Expression, and Relationship Dynamics

Time: 12:46–30:00

• Pete opens up about his complicated relationship with anger, stemming from his childhood.
• Jonathan relates as the “peacekeeper” in his family, sharing that he never fought in previous relationships—sometimes to the detriment of emotional honesty.
  • Quote: “In my first two relationships—five-year relationships each—never got in a fight.” (Jonathan, 15:11)
• Both discuss learning the value of authentic conflict and emotional safety in relationships.
• Candid stories about handling “tones” and unspoken frustrations with their partners, with both partners (Val and Zooey) framed as expert conflict-resolvers.
• Memorable moment: Pete’s philosophy on marital communication — “You can blurt out a truth. Sometimes I say to Val, ‘This isn’t the entirety of how I feel, I just want to tell you what my pain is.’” (Pete, 17:41)
• Humor interwoven as they compare notes on marriage, dinner parties, “tone” in arguments, and how sensitivity and performance intersect at home.

5. Weddings, Traditions, and Second Chances

Time: 46:09–54:55

• Both men, remarried, celebrate the freedom and intentionality of second weddings.
  • Quote: “Second wedding’s the best... First wedding, no bagpipes. Second engagement, bring in the bagpipes.” (Jonathan, 52:53)
• Jonathan talks about proposing to Zooey Deschanel at Edinburgh Castle, with moving discussions about including personal traditions.
• They stress making weddings (and homes) reflect the actual couple and not external expectations.
  • Quote: “You just want your wedding to look like your love.” (Pete, 48:09)
• Both are adamant about not letting others dictate who gets invited, prioritizing emotional health over obligation.

6. Emotional Healing, Baggage, and the Importance of Letting Go

Time: 30:23–38:12

• Both reflect on how past relationship failures teach self-worth and set new standards.
• Pete recounts therapy, forgiveness, and the challenge of “not carrying the past”; brings up the story of the two monks as a parable for letting things go.
  • Quote: “Are you still carrying her? I put her down an hour ago.” (Pete, 32:44)
• Discussion of the conscious decision to grow and not drag old traumas or obligations forward.

7. Honesty and Compassion in Dating

Time: 39:39–45:53

• Jonathan shares stories of dating post-divorce, enforcing clear boundaries, and the complexities of being honest about intentions.
• Pete and Jonathan relate on the difficulty of not leading people on—even when intentions are clear.
• Further discussion on the feminine “nurturing” intuition and pacing of relationships.

8. Home Life, Family, and Holiday Traditions

Time: 73:09–84:45

• Sentimental discussion about building meaningful family rituals, particularly around the holidays.
• Jonathan and Pete both identify as “bad gift-givers” as a result of family patterns, but embrace intentionality as a way to rewrite the script.
  • Quote: “You just write it down. That’s all a great gift giver is.” (Pete, 74:43)
• Jonathan describes how he and Zooey design their home and family life specifically to nurture happiness, ease, and connection—including solarium dinner parties and custom home improvements.
• Pete: “A space can say, I see you.” (Pete, 83:51)

9. Celebrity IOU, Fame, and Authentic Generosity

Time: 84:45–91:23

• Inside scoop on working with celebrities on Celebrity IOU, highlighting stories with Brad Pitt, Michael Bublé, and others.
• Most celebrities are genuine and kind; the show enforces a “no douchebag” rule—if they sense it’s a publicity grab, they pass.
  • Quote: “It has to be genuine. And heartfelt, which is why we haven’t had you on the show.” (Jonathan, 88:42)

10. Jonathan’s Secret Life as a Magician and Clown

Time: 92:04–104:51

• Jonathan’s childhood as a professional clown and magician—learned from a Parks & Rec ad and self-taught through books.
• They nerd out on magic, favorite tricks, nerves, and the subtleties of mentalism and sleight-of-hand.
  • Quote: “I intentionally designed illusions to fool other magicians. And it pisses them off.” (Jonathan, 98:21)
• A deeply felt admiration for wonder, play, and the lessons magic offers about focus, calm, and humility.

11. Hypnotism and Picking the Right Audience

Time: 104:51–106:51

• Hypnotism as an art akin to magic—success depends on the subject’s willingness to go along.
• Learning to “read” people and take cues from their openness.

12. Philosophy, Faith, and the Meaning of Life

Time: 108:21–110:34

• Both give open, accepting answers about faith, drawing lines between spirituality and institutional religion.
• Jonathan critiques organized religion being co-opted for agendas, shares his belief in “something bigger,” and prioritizes living in the present.
  • Quote: “The meaning of life is to live it.” (Jonathan, 108:21)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “When I orgasm, he feels it.” (Jonathan on the classic twin experience, 09:08)
• “Lurch looks like your after photo.” (Pete, 16:23)
• “Baby love, I just sat down… Would you mind getting them? That’s all I need… But if you cloak it, then I go like, why are you cloaking it?” (Pete, 19:55)
• “Nine out of ten times, if you say something that's bothering you, the response is better than you thought it would be.” (Jonathan, 16:36)
• “Second wedding’s the best... That’s like losing your virginity. Second wedding is like, all right, I know a couple moves.” (Pete, 47:54)
• “A space can say, I see you.” (Pete, 83:51)
• “We’ve implemented a no douchebag rule… it can’t be to promote the movie.” (Jonathan, 87:01)
• “I intentionally designed illusions to fool other magicians—and it pisses them off.” (Jonathan, 98:21)

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Standout Segments with Timestamps

• Secret Twin Jokes & Social Awkwardness: 08:18–10:13
• Emotional Expression & Relationships: 13:26–20:28
• Wedding Philosophy: 47:46–50:52
• Making Holiday Traditions & Reclaiming Past Pain: 73:09–77:29
• Celebrity IOU Stories (Brad Pitt, Michael Buble): 84:45–90:56
• Jonathan’s Magician Backstory & Magic Geek-Out: 92:04–104:51
• Deep Dive: Meaning of Life and Spirituality: 108:21–110:34

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Episode Tone

The conversation is warm, honest, and playful, alternating between self-deprecating humor, deep personal insight, and imaginative riffing. Pete and Jonathan trade wisdom and jokes in equal measure, creating the feel of newfound best friends sharing secrets late into the night.

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For Listeners New to the Show

This episode is a rich sampler of the You Made It Weird ethos: curiosity, vulnerability, laughter, and the joy of celebrating the weird in all of us. Whether you’re into relationships, interior design, holiday memory-making, magic, or just love authentic connection, this one delivers in spades.

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Listen for:

• Great marriage advice, emotional intelligence, and insights on personal growth.
• Hilarious stories about fame, twins, and home renovation gone weird.
• The hidden lives of magicians, clowns, and the power of letting go.
• Philosophy, healing, “second chance” living, and plenty of laughs.

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Transcript

[Jonathan Scott]

You made it weird. You made it weird. You made it weird. Oh, yeah. You made it weird.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes, you did. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

[Pete Holmes (Host/Intro Voice)]

What's happening, weirdos?

[Pete Holmes]

This is.

[Pete Holmes (Host/Intro Voice)]

This is an exciting week for old Petey. Not only is Jonathan Scott, who you may know from Property Brothers, like the biggest home renovation TV show in recorded history, is on the show. Also, this is one of those did we just become Best Friends episodes, which I love. He's so engaging. He's so interesting. He's so funny. He's so open. I loved it. You're gonna love it. Thanks for being here, but it's a big week also because my Netflix special dropped yesterday, so it's on Netflix. I am not for everyone. It's on Netflix right now. My first Netflix special. I'm very, very excited. Please, please, please, please check it out.

[Pete Holmes]

I hope you like it.

[Pete Holmes (Host/Intro Voice)]

I worked really hard on it. I'm proud of it, and I think far and away, it's my best special yet. So please check that out. And if you'd like to see me on the road, I'm doing a new hour, not the hour from I Am not for Everyone that is retired. I'm doing a new hour. I'll be in Bloomington, Indiana this weekend. And then after that is Chicago and Washington, DC. All the dates will be added at peteholmes.com Only a couple things to plug up. Top a lot of comments on my hair.

[Pete Holmes]

It's true.

[Pete Holmes (Host/Intro Voice)]

In the Netflix special Looking Good Hair. And I gotta tell you, like, I'm not even reading the ad yet. Modern mammals is a game changer when it comes to my hair routine. It used to be if I wanted my hair to look good for something, I would not wash it for at least two days, maybe more. Three, four days. And then at one point, my hairdresser and friend Kat was like, your hair is gross. It looks good, but it's gross. You need to clean it. So I was hoping that there would be a non shampoo shampoo solution that would clean your hair but not make it look like a bale of hay that just came out of the dryer. Unruly, all over the place and brittle. And that's exactly what modern mammals is. No lie, no joke. I found it on Instagram. I tried it once. I reached out to them. I was like, we got to partner up. This stuff is a game changer. It's a non shampoo shampoo. And over 40,000 guys have switched to this instead of traditional shampoo.

[Pete Holmes]

You got to see the reviews for this product.

[Pete Holmes (Host/Intro Voice)]

They're insane. Guys, don't get this excited about anything. It blows my mind. Once you use it like me, you're hooked for life. There's no other shampoo you can't go back. And it's a small punk rock grassroots company. These guys were just fed up with shampoo frying their hair and set out to create something actually new to help men with their hair to look good specifically for guys. They have bars for the no plastic and the no fragrance version. And they also have bottles for the more traditional shampoo style. It's like a magic gray mud that you run into your hair, rinse it out, gives you a great feeling look.

[Pete Holmes]

Gives you that wave.

[Pete Holmes (Host/Intro Voice)]

It gives you that body. It doesn't dry it out. It makes your hair clean but look like you didn't wash it. I mean, that's a miracle. That's a straight up miracle. I also love the fragrance. I love that it makes my hair every single time perfect. Six seconds a day.

[Pete Holmes]

Perfect hair.

[Pete Holmes (Host/Intro Voice)]

I used it before my special. I use it before everything I'm going to do for the rest of my for the remainder of my days to get JRR Tolkien about it. Modern mammals.com weird. Where you can get a special combo and try both products, the bar and the bottle for for 44 bucks. That's modernmammals.com weird. Support your hair, get that wave, support the show. Really love them. Speaking of peat specs that I'm super excited about, first person is an absolute mind body game changer. They are helping my life, they're helping Val's life by helping us naturally produce more oxytocin than the feel good hormone. And dopamine, which is a motivating feel good hormone. Incredible, incredible stuff. And what is it when I have to explain first person person to somebody in five seconds? I go, it's mushrooms. It's mushrooms that are specifically targeted to dial into your body to boost that good mood, feeling, energy, mood, sleep. First person has got you covered. Golden hour is the one I started with. Helps me tune into a sense of joy, connection and relax, relaxed presence. I love taking it in conjunction with Sunbeam, which maximizes productivity and creative activities by tuning in to be an inspired, focused mindset by helping boost your the body's natural production boost that of dopamine. So you're spiking your dopamine, you're peaking your oxytocin. It's incredible to find this natural hack, this biohack. It is incredible. And moonlight I take every night to help me stay in sleep. Deep restorative sleep by helping the GABA neurotransmitter to. To relax the central nervous system, preparing the brain for body and sleep. They're meant to be stacked and I stack them, take them together, get that motivating feeling and that well being feeling. It's 100 grain free organic mushrooms. They're also in really cool containers and they look really cool as well. And they're a highly curated blend of neuroceuticals. First person is a game changer. Start improving your brain health and cognition with first person. Get 20% off your first order by going to getfirstperson.com and use promo code Weird. Support your mind. Support the show. First person. There's no going back. It's amazing. These statements, I have to say they have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Get into it. Get firstperson.com and use promo code weird. All right, everybody, enjoy. Jonathan Scott. It's awesome. So glad you're here. Please check out the special on Netflix.

[Jonathan Scott]

All right, that's it.

[Pete Holmes (Host/Intro Voice)]

Get into it.

[Pete Holmes]

I thought you were humming Here I Go again on my own, which is what I've been humming all day. Closing time. Similar Here I go again Closing time on my door.

[Jonathan Scott]

Is that why renovation?

[Pete Holmes]

You can put that next to you. Make sure it's on.

[Jonathan Scott]

Check, check, check. Oh, this. Make sure. This is.

[Pete Holmes]

Make sure it's on the worst.

[Jonathan Scott]

So the one thing they have with me on set is constantly. My phone will ring and blow a take constantly. Like literally every day. Why don't they turn it off? I don't know why I can't figure it out. I leave my fly down. Half of my show has been shot with my fly hanging open. And I. And they're like, why don't you remember? I'm like, I have this weird thing when I go to the bathroom.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't.

[Jonathan Scott]

And you touch your junkie parts.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

I don't like to touch anything else until I wash my hands. So I don't do my fly until I wash my hands.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait, you want your fly to be clear of balls? I don't know why? Because fly is a ball safe area.

[Jonathan Scott]

I would think.

[Pete Holmes]

So you can touch balls.

[Jonathan Scott]

And also my balls are also clean.

[Pete Holmes]

But yeah, money is dirty.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, it is.

[Pete Holmes]

How do you do you wash your hands after you touch money?

[Jonathan Scott]

I've actually been known to pick my teeth with bills, so. And it makes everyone vomit around me.

[Pete Holmes]

But I'm like slots with a crisp.

[Jonathan Scott]

50, I'm not gonna lie in my mind, I justify it, that the higher the bill, the fewer people have touched it. And so. But, yeah, I've had, like, I don't know how many. Yeah. The one is the trollop. Do not put a one anywhere near your mouth.

[Pete Holmes]

Can you say trollop? The one is, you know, it's just been all over.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. One is.

[Pete Holmes]

It's in vending machines.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Although that's kind of its car wash. It gets pressed.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, I guess it's pressed, unlike your shirt.

[Pete Holmes]

But can you tell us.

[Jonathan Scott]

The first time I wore it, I can literally almost smell the cellophane package that you took out and.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. But I put it on for you.

[Jonathan Scott]

I appreciate it.

[Pete Holmes]

It's hard to be talking to the sexiest man. I think it's the sexiest man alive. The sexiest man alive.

[Jonathan Scott]

Not quite. It's number one sex. One. One people's one sexiest men alive.

[Pete Holmes]

50, though. That's.

[Jonathan Scott]

They.

[Pete Holmes]

They knew what they were doing.

[Jonathan Scott]

They kept knowing, though, is it was a list of 50, yet there were 51 people in the list because they. They qualified Drew and me as one human between the two of us.

[Pete Holmes]

I think that's just honest.

[Jonathan Scott]

I. I mean, we're all doing. Hey, people would gift at Christmas. They would just give us one gift and expect that we're going to share. So I get Tuesdays and Thursdays, and he gets the other days. I don't know how it's supposed to work, that is.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, we've had. I'm friends with the Sklar brothers and twins, and they have some twin laments, and they're all super legitimate. You know what I mean?

[Jonathan Scott]

Oh, yeah. There's all the stuff that you typically would like, they joke about that people say to twins. People say to twins all the time.

[Pete Holmes]

And, like, what?

[Jonathan Scott]

We're like social experiments. If you get hit, does he feel. So the way to kill that conversation?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, and no. No and no. I just hate it on your behalf. And you're tall, so people are going all those things.

[Jonathan Scott]

What's the weather like? But the greatest way to kill that whole TW twin shtick that people always say is you just go, yeah, it's crazy. When I orgasm, he feels it. And then there's a really awkward silence, and then people move on.

[Pete Holmes]

We'd all be trying to be twins.

[Jonathan Scott]

Get your mind out of the gutter over there.

[Pete Holmes]

Katie's loving the Twinges material. Old Twinges.

[Jonathan Scott]

Classic Katie material over here.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. That must be annoying. But it's also like. You know what it is, is when you see a very, very, very. Like, I was at the airport and I saw a very, very tall person. I mean, he had to be like nine feet. Like, for real, like, circus level. And we're so fascinated. We're also fascinated with little people. I'm not trying to be funny. I'm just saying it's interesting. It's different. Twins are the only outlying group that for some reason. And redheads, it's completely okay to just come up and be like.

[Jonathan Scott]

And stare.

[Pete Holmes]

You have red hair. Are you a leprechaun? Or twins, you can be like, where.

[Jonathan Scott]

Is the end of the rainbow? Yeah, exactly. So what I've deduced is that people generally are dumb, especially when they're traveling. Airports are the worst people. They check their brains with their luggage. Everybody's gone. And they'll. Granted, though, I think the first time we met, I walked up and I did say something tall. Like, I guess we should talk to each other because we're. Yeah. And I.

[Pete Holmes]

At the Birbigli, I think.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. And then you, like, shot a look at me like, oh, this guy.

[Pete Holmes]

This. I did not.

[Jonathan Scott]

No, you didn't. You're literally the friendliest guy in the world.

[Pete Holmes]

No, but I. So are you. Have you ever. Look, I'm not even trying to put you on the spot, but sometimes people go like, yeah, I came up to you and. And I must have been, like, exhausted or sick or something, and I was just sort of like, hello. You know what I mean?

[Jonathan Scott]

Oh, no. I've had. The thing is, these days, people will go direct on. On social media, and then they'll just troll you because this person's horrible. Oh, yeah. So I have a thing where if I'm talking to somebody I like. I don't like it when somebody obnoxious comes over and interrupts because they want to take a picture. They want to. I'm in the middle of a conversation with somebody. Especially if you're sitting, like, in a restaurant in an intimate situation. I don't like when people just bombard your table all the time. Yeah. Constant. But usually just, like, the petting kind of stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Heavy petting.

[Jonathan Scott]

Heavy, heavy petting.

[Pete Holmes]

It's hard to do light petting at a restaurant. Light petting leads to heavy.

[Jonathan Scott]

Unless it's linen service on the tables. If there's, like, linen service, it's a lot easier.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's just begging for pettic.

[Jonathan Scott]

Linen service. You asked for it. Restaurants.

[Pete Holmes]

Those are bed sheets for a table.

[Jonathan Scott]

Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what linen Services.

[Jonathan Scott]

Duh, duh. But don't blacklight those linens. Anyway, so, no, I had one. I was chatting with this lady, and she was like, the sweetest woman. She must have been in her early 90s, something like that. And she saw me at the airport, and she was really kind and said she likes the show. I have the best fans in the world. They're very sweet. And this guy literally all but shoves her out of the way and says, hey, hey, whoa. You're the guy on the show. I gotta take a picture. And I said to him, like, oh, I'm just in the middle of conversation. I'll be a few minutes. Yeah, I could tell he was furious. Absolutely livid. And then immediately I saw. When I boarded my flight, all of a sudden I was getting these notifications. This guy was on there saying, I'm the biggest asshole in the world. And I'm like, no, my friend, you are. But the problem is other fans that read that, then they're like, oh, wow, Jonathan must have been really rude. I'm like, well, that's his side of the story. That's why I don't take for a grain of salt any of the stories I see about people out there. Because you know what? You're human. You're allowed to be sick. You're allowed to have a bad mood. You're allowed to not be invaded.

[Pete Holmes]

I just had a dream where I screamed at someone. I'm not allowed to be in a bad mood. That was my dream.

[Jonathan Scott]

When you're furious in your dream about.

[Pete Holmes]

This, I was yelling at my brother because I was in a bad mood. And I have this belief not to get too deep right away, but I have this belief that if I'm angry, I must be like, the. The part of my dad that, like, would frighten me as a child or whatever. He wasn't like a monster or anything, but like, that sort of is scary to a kid. So I have this weird relationship with anger and being, like, aggressive. So when I get that way, I think that the dream meant, like, what.

[Jonathan Scott]

Is the last time that you actually, in real life, not in dream life, but in real life, got mad at something?

[Pete Holmes]

It was my. I got mad at my dad. We had a little. We had a little conversation, which is funny because there it is, the thing that I'm at odds with my anger and I'm talking to that thing and we're looking for it, but we never, like, name call and stuff. We were just watching a short film that my friend made, and they were like, Fuck you, you fucking child. And like having fights like that. I've never in my life had a fight like that. Never in my life. I've never called my dad a name. I've never called a girlfriend a name. I'm not trying to virtue signal. Some people can, like, I have to imagine, like this sounds weird, but like other cultures, like, I'm just very tight and Lithuanian and like you, I don't even know how to do an impression. But like other more passionate romantic cultures are like, I hope you die. And then like five minutes later they're having sex. That's a stereotype. But I wonder if there's any truth to it.

[Jonathan Scott]

What was that accent that you just did right there?

[Pete Holmes]

It was my attempted Lithuanian and I realized I couldn't do it.

[Jonathan Scott]

It kind of came out. No, the other one where you did wish somebody to die, that was. Yeah, I hope you die. I have so many friends I grew up with, you know, Italians and Iranians and all these. And they're all about big gatherings and big energy. I'm not like that, like I'm. I'm a pretty private person. What's ppp? You're Triple P. What's that?

[Pete Holmes]

Pretty private person.

[Jonathan Scott]

I'm a pretty private person. Yeah, that's right.

[Pete Holmes]

You can just say ppp.

[Jonathan Scott]

People know what that means. I like it. But everyone has those moments. And for me, so I was always.

[Pete Holmes]

Little angry moments.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, well, you have it. You have to get that out. Because if you hold it in all the time I actually had in previous relationships, my ex wife, my previous girlfriends, they would say to me, like, maybe if you did show a little emotion that things would go back.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, really?

[Jonathan Scott]

Because, well, cause in my first two relationships, the entire relationship, five year relationships, each never got in a fight. Just didn't happen. We'd get in disagreements, but I was always the. What's the word? Like growing up in our family, I was like the mediator. I was the one that would always.

[Pete Holmes]

Peacekeeper.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, I was the peacekeeper.

[Pete Holmes]

Makes my skin crawl a little bit. Cause both my wife and I were the peacekeepers in our families. And I still am that way. But I wonder where you're going. You think it's better to fight? Maybe it is. Tell me.

[Jonathan Scott]

Well, it's like, so Zoe, who for anybody who doesn't know, is my partner and we just got engaged. Zoe Kravitz. Yes. Don't tell.

[Pete Holmes]

We have a new scoop.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, don't tell. Channing. So Deschanel. And she is the greatest conflict resolutionist I've ever met in my life. Because you have conflict with somebody. You'll have disagreements, but it's what you do in those moments. So like you were saying, some people will shout, I hate you. I. You know this. You know, you're a child. You know, you. Or they'll go into something about physical things. You can't come back to it. For us. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You're lumbering ogres. Your fly is always down.

[Jonathan Scott]

You make Lurch look weird. Like what?

[Pete Holmes]

Lurch looks like your after photo.

[Jonathan Scott]

You strive for Lurch, but you know, you gotta be careful when you say those things. I mean, I do think you have to get things out. Nine out of ten times, if you say something that's bothering you, the response is better than you thought it would be. So.

[Pete Holmes]

But I think you can say it kindly.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't have to say it like douchebag does.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. Everything that, you know, when we're having our communication, there's never a situation where we're ever nasty.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

But there are moments of blurted out truth and, you know, I think the one thing that's safe, that's really nice. You do. I'm very happy you talk about these things. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Can I. Sorry, Tell me.

[Jonathan Scott]

No, I'm just. I'm just saying, like, it's. It's nice. I feel like you have the same. I do, you know, beliefs about that.

[Pete Holmes]

I do. Very strong. I think you should feel safe in your relationship. And I think not enough people are looking for a safe space, place, person, wherein you can make mistakes or you can. I like what you said. You can blurt out a truth. Sometimes I say to Val, I'm just like, this isn't the entirety of how I feel. I just want to tell you what my pain is. Saying my pain says this. You know what I mean? But dissociating from it a little bit. But I'll give you an example. We had a bunch of people over for dinner last night. Next time you're in town.

[Jonathan Scott]

I don't remember getting that in.

[Pete Holmes]

Next time you're in town, are you up there?

[Jonathan Scott]

What's that?

[Pete Holmes]

You don't. Do you not disclose where you live?

[Jonathan Scott]

We're in Brentwood. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, you were in Ohio.

[Pete Holmes]

I didn't know if you were up.

[Jonathan Scott]

In Ojai full time or something. Yeah, we're up there.

[Pete Holmes]

Next time you're in town. Okay.

[Jonathan Scott]

You realize we could do that next side, across the room. It's so good. We could.

[Pete Holmes]

We're not even in the frame until two legs. Just Come in and high five.

[Jonathan Scott]

But the Baywatch song has to be playing. Some people dead.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't believe you referenced one of my favorite songs of all time. I sing it for fun. It's a great song. Standalone. So last night at dinner, I had just been on the road. I was in Salt Lake City this past weekend. It's my first day back. I'm giving Val some context. So she had been alone with the baby for a couple days. Five year old, but you know what I mean, baby. So understandably, Val was a little under the pressure cooker. And she just made this dinner. It was her idea. She said this. We talked about it later. She was like, I know the dinner was my idea, but I still feeling pressure that I made this dinner. And then the dog was barking. And we all know the dog is for Valerie. I know you love your dogs, but I'm. I'm the one that's like the. Also ran with the dog. I love the dog, but it's sort of like. Anyway, he's out somewhere barking, which is annoying me. And I'm like, where's Brody? And Val just goes, well, maybe you.

[Jonathan Scott]

Could go and look for him.

[Pete Holmes]

Because I just sat down. Like, I can't even do the tone. But there was a tone. There was like a sarcasm. And I would say this, Val will listen to this. I'm just saying this isn't shit talk. There was kind of like a. Well, I know you've been sitting and enjoying your meal.

[Jonathan Scott]

I'm going to side with Val on this one.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm with you. That's why I gave you her context. I'm proud that I gave you her context. I could have been like.

[Jonathan Scott]

And she used a tone.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm telling you, I just got back and down. I understand that. But I'm also a sensitive. From my confidence. There's all this sensitivity. And the way that the fight went was I was like, you can just say that to me. Like, you can just say what you're feeling. You don't have to imply it.

[Jonathan Scott]

You know what I mean? Exactly what I say when that happens.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that real?

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You just go like, we could be the same person. Say, I'm frustrated. I've been. You can just say like, it's a little annoying. You can say, but don't, don't. Don't use comedy on me. I don't like it because I'm.

[Jonathan Scott]

We're both fluent in it.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm like, I know what you're up to. You're frustrated with me. Just say, or you know what my favorite is, and I'm gonna throw this.

[Jonathan Scott]

All back to you.

[Pete Holmes]

My favorite is just like, baby love, I just sat down just a little. And Val's a genius at that. 99.999999% of the time she does that. That's all we need is just a little, like, my love, I just sat down. Would you mind getting them? That's all I need. But if you. If you cloak it, then I go like, why are you cloaking it? I'm your home. I'm your safe home.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I don't need renovating, so stay the fuck away. Go on. What does that make you think?

[Jonathan Scott]

This bitch is renovated. She's been renovated.

[Pete Holmes]

We already have white brick around the fireplace.

[Jonathan Scott]

So this is my problem, is I'm not a hyper emotional person. I'm the easiest going. Like, I have no problem running out, doing this and getting up and everything. What I don't like is the tone. And so I get.

[Pete Holmes]

Tones are killers, man.

[Jonathan Scott]

This is what I get. And my response is also not very grown up. So I see the fault in how I communicate this. But it'll be something where I don't know what it would be, but it would be like, you know, hey, did we put that bowl somewhere in the pantry? Like, or whatever it is? And if the response is like, I don't know where the. Why would it. I don't know where the bowl is. I'm like, don't treat me like I'm an idiot.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Jonathan Scott]

It's a legitimate question. I don't know where I said bowl is.

[Pete Holmes]

Because you don't say, hey, idiot. You can say it with tone.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's what. That's really what the issue was, is, like, if you're frustrated and look, we could all strive to be this way all the time. We can't. So Val is totally innocent in this situation. What happened, though, is my feelings got hurt and I'm shocked. I might not. I'm not hyper emotional. I don't know if that's true, but I am hypersensitive for sure. Especially after a weekend of doing stand up. You'd think I'd come home and be.

[Jonathan Scott]

Like, I am invincible.

[Pete Holmes]

But you're actually drained. We just watched Phantom Thread after he has, like, his shows and stuff. He's just in bed the next day. He just feels so vulnerable. That's how I feel. So the.

[Jonathan Scott]

Cause you're human and I'm human.

[Pete Holmes]

But especially in social situations, Val and I, the tension that we've had in our relationship has almost always been if we're out and I feel like she's paying attention to everyone except me. And that's vulnerable to say, but that's where it comes from. Cause Val is such a good reflector and connector that if the three of us were having dinner, there's a risk we talk about on the ride over.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Would go, like, just make sure you check in with me, because all I need is every once in a while, like. Like Pete's always saying, or Pete and I talk about this. Just something. Because if I just sit there and I just start feeling like an island to your. You guys's continent, I'll be like, I'm vanishing. I hate this. And then you know what? I'll do all the regular ego stuff. I'll. I'll brag like, I'll be like, yeah, I renovated a house once. Like classic fucking 80s movie, like villain. Not. Not total asshole stuff. But I'd be like. I'd say something inappropriate like, hey, Ty, got a big old ding dong. You know, just like to try and get in the mix. But this is helpful to remember. Assholes are often just looking for a little bit of love. Like they're hurting. It's not a pass. But like, what's the motivation? What do you got?

[Jonathan Scott]

Well, I'm the same. Like, we approach conversation a little bit different. And so we had a dinner party, unz. Yeah. Well, you and I are literally the same human being apparently.

[Pete Holmes]

Very funny. It's quite funny at a certain height. They're just all the same.

[Jonathan Scott]

But. So we had a dinner party night before last. Don't worry, I also didn't invite you. Look, you live in Brentwood. So she had this really heartfelt speech that she was making because she was so thankful for the people who had come and everybody. And actually most of the people were brand new. We'd never met them. We put it out to some friends to bring people who think would be interesting in this community and make. We'll make introductions. And so it was like, you know, 24 people. And it was pretty nice. But.

[Pete Holmes]

So you wanted to make new friends. That's fun.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. And. But also let these people make new friends and create community. And so she's making a heartfelt speech. And at one point I cracked a joke and everybody roared laughing and thought it was really funny. But. And it was just something stupid. Like she said, you know, we wanted to bring in some really incredible people who we thought would get along and make new connections and Then I said they weren't available. So we chose you guys. And everyone roared. Yeah, no, no, no.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's well done. For what it's worth. It's a classic kind of style. But I like the wording very much.

[Jonathan Scott]

I didn't.

[Pete Holmes]

They weren't available.

[Jonathan Scott]

I didn't think of the fact that Zoe felt that undermined her really beautiful speech that she was making. And that's the problem that I have.

[Pete Holmes]

Out of 10, how heartfelt was it? Was it like she was really. This matters to me.

[Jonathan Scott]

It does. Because it was also like, is she mentioning the world?

[Pete Holmes]

The world is so lonely and frightening.

[Jonathan Scott]

There was no soliloquy.

[Pete Holmes]

But did she have a ukulele?

[Jonathan Scott]

She always has a ukulele. But I think that's the problem I have is I. So the two things is. Well, one, I believe everyone takes everything too seriously. So I generally don't take anything too seriously. But there are moments where jokes, they're not needed. Even though I don't think the audience cared. I don't think the guests care. They didn't see a difference. But that's my weakness is I constantly crack a joke or I constantly say something when sometimes it's nice to have a pure, tender moment and not feel like you got a joke, but you.

[Pete Holmes]

Couldn'T be talking to someone who understands both sides of this issue more. And I wouldn't even be like if I say that you in that moment wanted to share. When you say attention, it sounds like a bad thing. But you guys were hosting. This is just your side. We'll do Zoe's side as well. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not. This isn't a one sided thing.

[Jonathan Scott]

No, no.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm saying I couldn't relate more.

[Jonathan Scott]

And the joke worked. You know what I mean? If it fell flat, which it hasn't, There have been, like you said. So here's the thing is the risk. I am known. I'm Renette. Half of what I say on Property Brothers could never air. Because, yeah, we just joke around. We have good time. I've got, you know, I may swear every now and then. And so you're talking about your balls touching your zipper. Totally. Like, you know, we're just like. But all in fun. Like, there's never anything negative on the set. But there have been moments where I hate this when you have a new conversation with somebody new that you just meet. And it's always like this very buttoned up, safe conversation. I understand your deal with that. I act like I've met This person a thousand times, and I know them very well. And so sometimes I'll say something that is, like, out of left field.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

And Zoe is like a very, like, very funny but proper person, and we.

[Pete Holmes]

Can even make that a compliment. She's classy.

[Jonathan Scott]

She is extremely classy.

[Pete Holmes]

And classic. Classic.

[Jonathan Scott]

That actually is a great description.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Classy and classic. Because when I. There was a time when it was the three of us and I was just kind of, like, enjoying how classic she was. But it did disrupt you and I. We started behaving.

[Jonathan Scott]

Well, we're both. We're 13 year olds in giant bodies with adult bank accounts. Shazam.

[Pete Holmes]

Basically, we're the movie Shazam. Two Shazams are talking.

[Jonathan Scott]

You know, there's a time and a place for everything. But. Yeah. Anyway, so that's the. You know, there's always this dynamic where, you know, I encourage and I support her in everything that she does, and I love who she is and how she is, and she supports and loves me. It doesn't mean that sometimes we don't have those cringy moments where, ooh, I really read this room wrong.

[Pete Holmes]

Or, you know, but so how did she. And I'm setting her up for success because I feel like it was in a great way. Meaning I'm not looking for dirt. How did she say, hey, I didn't like that joke. And how did you discuss it?

[Jonathan Scott]

Well, we'll usually just have that conversation. So if there's ever something where.

[Pete Holmes]

When did you have it?

[Jonathan Scott]

Usually right after, like, I don't like having those conversations in the moment.

[Pete Holmes]

Me too, Val.

[Jonathan Scott]

To use the tone.

[Pete Holmes]

And I was like, hey, like, immediately. And guess what? Just to give you the finale, we were fine. And then, like, 10 minutes later, I'm like, washing a dish or something, she gives me a rim job.

[Jonathan Scott]

But that's like cleaning. You mean.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, I didn't mean rim job. I meant she licked my. My asshole. Oh, that's a rim. I got it right. I got it right. I got. I got. I got it right.

[Jonathan Scott]

All right.

[Pete Holmes]

She came up and hugged me very sweetly from behind. And I wasn't like. That wasn't the period on the sentence. The conversation was over. But it was just this tenderness. And now we're kissing, and it's so nice. It's not trauma bonding. It's not like, let's play this game of cat and mouse. It was just like, yeah, it's okay. I'm your home.

[Jonathan Scott]

You want to know something I don't like? I don't like makeup sex. When people always talk about the makeup sex, I'm like, no, that's not.

[Pete Holmes]

You mean Stockholm syndrome.

[Jonathan Scott]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

It's basically Stockholm syndrome.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. Like, you're not like, I hate you.

[Pete Holmes]

You're not in the right state.

[Jonathan Scott]

Like, it's like, because I take a little time. Like, when I do boil, it takes a little. And there's very little that will set me up. But when I do boil, like, I need a little time to simmer back down.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

But I don't need to be making.

[Pete Holmes]

Love in that way.

[Jonathan Scott]

And. But. But angry masturbating is no problem.

[Pete Holmes]

Furious masturbating is the only masturbating.

[Jonathan Scott]

It's dangerous. I'll read the news and then I'll.

[Pete Holmes]

Masturbate just to be like, ah, the world is so sad. I'm mad about everything. And then I'll.

[Jonathan Scott]

But I will say the challenge for me, which, and Zoe, again, will be honest about bringing this up, is I don't like to burden people with things. And so I just let things slide and slide and slide. And then eventually, if. And when I bring it up, well, then Zoe will say, well, why wouldn't you bring that up in the moment if something's happening? And she's right. Because I don't want to bother her. I don't want to bother. So I just let it slide. It's not like I'm like, keeping a list of these things that one day will come out. I just. To me, it doesn't occupy my brain the same way. I think somebody who holds on to a lot of these things do. It just. I remember these things, but it's not, like, eating away at me.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it's not super practical, too. It sounds very masculine. What you're doing is going like, this isn't really useful. This leads to a bad conversation or a weird feeling. Let's just put it aside. And that kind of does speak to your work. It's like you break things down and you build them up. It's very practical. And that's very. I think that's part of what makes you a sex symbol guy is you're like, let's. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, I didn't know what we were doing.

[Jonathan Scott]

I was doing thing right now.

[Pete Holmes]

But, like, we love that decisiveness. Let's go in and fix it. And I don't know what to do with this feeling. It's not of use. It's not a good tool for what I'm going for, which in the moment is a good day. So I'm going to throw it aside just like I would like bad wallpaper.

[Jonathan Scott]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

But like, I think what Zoe would say, and certainly meaning Zoe seems to be representing what Valerie in my life represents, is there is something potentially inside you that is keeping score. We could call it your unconscious 100%. We could call it somewhere in your body. And that shit is real.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. And it's not healthy. It's like the people who I even remember, you know, I was so upset and hurt when I broke up with an ex a long time ago. And I remember that my. I'm very easy to forgive. I never forget. And I know where I put you.

[Pete Holmes]

Easy to forgive. People love forgiving me. It flies down.

[Jonathan Scott]

Forgive me. I'm so easy. Don't worry, guys.

[Pete Holmes]

You forgive quickly.

[Jonathan Scott]

I forgive quickly. So. Because I don't want that eating away at me. I remember my family, my friends, they were so mad at this person ongoing. And they would make comments. I'm like, it didn't even happen to them. I'm like. But when you hold that kind of resentment, you can't help but have it bring something negative into you and it eats away at you. I'm very good at letting those things go. I don't like. It's not like I will ever. Oh, well, then I'll make back up with this person. We'll be best friends. Never gonna happen. Like, I remember what happened, but I don't let it control me.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, but you're making sure you're actually forgiving, not just in denial.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

You know that story, the two monks. There's these two monks. It's a short story. It's almost over. And the monks were in an order where they weren't allowed to touch women. It was in all male monasteries. Often monasteries are. But they're Buddhist. And they're walking across a river, and there's a woman who can't cross the river, and she's asking for help to cross the river. And the first monk, who vowed not to touch women, ignores her. And the second monk, the older monk, picks her up on his back and crosses the river so she doesn't get wet. You can build in your own reason why she couldn't get wet. And he puts her down 20, 30, 40 minutes later, an hour later, they're walking. And the younger monk says, the older monk, he goes, we took a vow.

[Jonathan Scott]

To not touch women.

[Pete Holmes]

Why did you pick up that woman? What are you doing? And the older monk said, are you still carrying her? I put her down an hour Ago.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Isn't that good?

[Jonathan Scott]

That's great.

[Pete Holmes]

Isn't that good?

[Jonathan Scott]

That's exactly it.

[Pete Holmes]

Isn't that it?

[Jonathan Scott]

I think it kind of all comes back again to how we let anything affect us. And most people carry around so much baggage, guilt, for things that have happened in the past. There's nothing you can do about trying to work. That's why I think therapy is great. I think when people go and they talk about these things in a healthy environment, it's so important, because a lot of times your buddies or your girlfriends, they're not actually helping you when they're just like. They just. They're telling you what you want to hear.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right. They. Yes. And it. They go, what did he think you were gonna say? That's not really helpful.

[Jonathan Scott]

No, it's not.

[Pete Holmes]

My therapist, as I've told many people, would just go, who cares? That's what he said about almost everything. And it was so helpful. I had a drug experience, a psychedelic experience, where I was like. And this is true right here and now.

[Jonathan Scott]

I was like, you're high right now.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm high on drugs. I'm high on.

[Jonathan Scott]

How many of me are there right now?

[Pete Holmes]

Which one of you said that? No, but it was like, we are the ones that create the past by. We drag it, and it is like dragging Santa's bag, but it's not filled with toys. It's full of bullshit. And you drag it in, and again, I hear Val's voice saying, like, we can have compassion. This is your protector. So your protector, which is an aspect of your ego, you could say is like, going like, well, Jonathan got hurt by someone with these qualities.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, right.

[Pete Holmes]

You mentioned a breakup. So maybe you did file away, like, look out for this type of treatment. It might be indicative of this kind of person. We don't know, but I'm gonna. It's like a. It's like an internal government. And your elected president is like, we will not be fooled again by a woman that wears slap bracelets. You know what I mean? Like, they're doing the best they can.

[Jonathan Scott]

Sometimes.

[Pete Holmes]

That's all they have. Slap bracelets mean narcissistic personality disorder. Vote for me, and you're the one that votes. Are we going to keep this legislation anyway? This metaphor goes on and on and on. So. But what I'm saying is that there's a reason for it. And we can even love the fact that our brain is trying to hold on to grudges to a certain extent, to a helpful extent.

[Jonathan Scott]

And when it comes to relationships. That's why, you know, Zoe and I didn't find each other until our 40s. And it was funny because, you know, late 40s. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then you look in the camera, barely.

[Jonathan Scott]

I've had work done.

[Pete Holmes]

Everybody knows you do work and you've had work.

[Jonathan Scott]

We were talking about how, you know, we were both married before and, you know, had many relationships and whatnot. And the problem is when you're younger, you don't know what you want in a relationship. And, you know, I had relationships where I was like, is this normal? Is this. Are we supposed to be like this? And I'm feeling isolated. I don't feel listened to. And then you.

[Pete Holmes]

Which, by the way, I think are echoes of past patterns. Like when you're in a weird relationship, I think you might have been attracted to it. Not you. I'll say me, because it's the type of abuse you're used to, which is totally true. You're just like, oh, this is familiar.

[Jonathan Scott]

How many people do you know that used to constantly date horrible men or horrible women? And like, it's true. You see this pattern. But I think you learn. And so I got to a point where I finally decided I'm like, I'm not going to put up with that bullshit. I'm not perfect. I know I'm not perfect, but I'm not going to put up with these baseline things that.

[Pete Holmes]

Deal breakers.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. And they're not like. They're really not like anything other than personality. Like, if somebody doesn't respect you enough to understand that you have emotions, you have a right to feel a certain way. If somebody doesn't understand, they're either a narcissist and they don't give a shit, or they're so inexperienced in love and emotion that I'm too mature for that and I don't want to be with somebody like that.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. And it's not mean.

[Jonathan Scott]

No, it's not mean.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like offending or. Or what I'm hearing, actually, when you make statements like that is just like, self, love, work. And that doesn't mean narcissism. That just means, like, I think what I. What's so important that you're touching on is it's us that goes. You know what? It's like the president, new led, new. What's it called? New government. I'm gonna have a new government. And this government is running on a campaign that I'm worthy of respect, safety, spaciousness, curiosity, humor. But, like, really, safety covers so much of it. Like, somebody Where I can feel safe. Still excited. Still excited and interested. But, like, a lot of us are going for someone. Like, I've been cut here. Like, I kept getting cut here. Would you cut me there? And you make these weird sort of agreements. And it takes a moment where you do it. No one else. I know this sounds like a fucking inspirational talk. I'm just saying, like, it was an epiphany for me to realize that it's me that decides. You could say, you deserve the life you want. You deserve the partner you want. People can say that. But until you go like, no, I do. And it's like I was saying about dragging the past.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Alan Watts says we're under no obligation to be the person we were five minutes ago. Well, I'm just.

[Jonathan Scott]

I'm not a happy.

[Pete Holmes]

It doesn't work out for me. It's like there are other. Other people. I'm a huge. I don't know. I'm happy that you got out of the things that you got out of.

[Jonathan Scott]

I think you know, and what they taught you, you analyze it. Even from the dating. I mean, remember, it got to a point where things were so crazy as well. And also there were. Because as soon as you get physical with a partner, it also changes the relationship too. So I dated a lot of people and I never would let it get there because I didn't trust that it was gonna be a safe place to get there. Sexual. Yeah. Sexually, like, once that you do that, change that in a dynamic.

[Pete Holmes]

So that's really interesting. I'm usually the first person to say, it's like glue.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

As soon as you start getting in the bone zone, like, it can be.

[Jonathan Scott]

I was not a one, like, first. What do you call it, like, one night stand type person. I was never like that. And. But even in that I would go out and if there's any inkling, I remember I was out with this one person and I'd known her socially through other people and whatnot. And anyway, we went out for dinner and she spent the entire dinner making fun of the strangers in the restaurant. Literally, like, their physical attributes, the way they were talking. And I was so confused. I'm like, is the conversation that dull that you want to make fun of this elderly couple that's over here? It was really weird. So at the end of the date, I remember I said to her, I'm like. And you know, Zoe and I are both the same, in fact, that we're very straightforward and that can offend people. But I said to this woman, I Said, I don't think this is a match. I don't think we should do this again. Thank you for dinner. But I think this is the last time. And she lost it on me. She threw a drink at me, called me an asshole in the middle of the restaurant. I don't like it when people are looking at me. And I don't like when eyes, every eye in the restaurant came and turned and whatever. And, you know, I. I ended because I think she wanted to continue to another bar and have drinks and everything. And I was like, that's the end of the date. And, you know, it was horrible. Like, she made a whole scene and.

[Pete Holmes]

What kind of drink was it?

[Jonathan Scott]

It was wine. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Red wine.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, White wine.

[Pete Holmes]

White wine. Thank God.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. That actually gets stains out.

[Jonathan Scott]

None of my wardrobe is expensive, so I'm totally fine with that.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't believe it. So you didn't see that coming at all. You were like, hey, I just want to know. I didn't front.

[Jonathan Scott]

I didn't see it coming. But you know that for me it was like, I'm always. I'm analyzing things early on, and I was like. It got to a point where I'm like, yeah, nope, this is definitely a no go. It's never happening again.

[Pete Holmes]

That's like, look. And I believe you did it compassionately. That is the most caring thing you can do. So much of us are tied up and locked up and it's like, well, we did. I think they want to go this bar and you'll leave them on. You'll even maybe sleep with them because you're like, I think that's what they're expecting. When you can really just be real and be like, let's not postpone.

[Jonathan Scott]

No. Well, actually, you know what's interesting is so a friend of mine who I've known for many, many years, and she's always said to me, she's like, my. She's like that little person that sits on your shoulder and gives you advice and whatever. I remember I was dating somebody and I was very clear because I'd gotten out of a long relationship I was not interested in. I actually didn't even date for about six months after my. When I was married before. Yeah. When I split from that. But I went out, I was almost.

[Pete Holmes]

Exactly as long as I waited to.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. And it's like got to a point where. Because I held a lot of resentment toward. In general, toward women in relationships because of what had happened from, you know, that relationship and my previous.

[Pete Holmes]

Was there a headline to that. Was it infidelity or.

[Jonathan Scott]

Nothing?

[Pete Holmes]

This isn't a gossip podcast. My wife cheated on me. I was looking for common ground, not scoop.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, you know, it's not. It's more just, you know, I realized that it's a problem I had with the person, and it happens to be that I had been with a couple of people that, you know, did not jive with me very well at all. But finally, when I started dating again, I was very clear, and I said, I'm not looking for anything serious. It's nice to have company. It's nice to go and do things, see shows, and do whatever you're gonna do. And I remember I said to my friend, I'm like, well, I know that this person is trying to lock me down, and they want to. And they said, oh, yeah, I'm totally fine with that. Nothing serious. It's fine. And I said, I know that they want to change me. They want to change my mind, and that's their goal. And she said, well, then don't you think you're really leading them on? And I said, no. I am literally saying to her face, I said, I'm not interested in any relationship. I just want company so we can go and do shows and everything. And she's like, yeah, but you know, in the back of your mind that she wants it otherwise. And I said, but why is that on me? I'm the one who's being honest and forward. She's the one who's trying to change me. And it's an interesting dynamic. And depending on who you talk to, everyone is on one side or the other. So I finally got to a point where I didn't want to play any of those games. If I sniffed out that somebody wasn't being truthful, there was no other no second.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I think that's really interesting. I also agree with your little friend, your shoulder friend, because it's not fair. But if I build a cube and it's filling slowly with water, and you get in it, and I say, if you stay in here too long, you'll drown, but I have to trust you'll get out before you drown. And then it looks like they're going to drown, it's still my cube and my water, My inability to commit is still the water that's going to hurt them. So even if they're lying, and I understand why they're not being fully honest, because how many relationships do start with, like, we dated, they didn't want to be serious, or we dated and we thought it was just this, and it turned into this. Or. Or we thought we were friends. And isn't that sort of the superpower, not just of women, but anybody with, like, feminine intuition that can go, I actually think I know what you need.

[Jonathan Scott]

Better than the nurturing element of it. Nurturing. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And. And by the way, I don't know. I can't really speak to that with Val and I. But, like, there was. Certainly Val and I were into each other very quickly. It went at the same pace. But I would have understood if she was like. If I was like. And I don't know about this. I think she would have been like, all right, fine. But she would have known.

[Jonathan Scott]

Well, and it's funny because you go through different periods in your life. I was single for a very long time, and I've been burned by people, and I've been in relationships, too, and they're absolutely wonderful people, and there just wasn't the spark that I was looking for. And. But what's so funny is. So I'd been single for a long time before meeting Zoe and then.

[Pete Holmes]

Zoey Barnes.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

From House of Cards.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

She's dead.

[Jonathan Scott]

What?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. The President pushed her in front of a subway.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Zoe Barnes is. She's also fictional, so it's double bad. She never existed. And she doesn't exist in the way she didn't exist in the first place.

[Jonathan Scott]

Well, I date a lot of fictional people.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

And it's real hot.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the way to keep it safe.

[Jonathan Scott]

No, it's. Now I totally forgot what I was talking about.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. That's good hosting right there.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. The greatest.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm gonna win a Peabody Award.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And we'll find it. We're talking about being honest.

[Jonathan Scott]

The cute water. When you met. So we had. So I had been single for quite a while, and my publicist convinced me to do this article for People magazine about being ready for love, because I was ready for love. But I'm like, I don't necessarily need.

[Pete Holmes]

I talked to somebody that was that story, and it says, jonathan Scott, I'm gonna show you I'm ready for love.

[Jonathan Scott]

I'm not joking. I'm. Hold on. Isn't it embarrassing when you can Google something about yourself, then you can pull up on your own phone?

[Pete Holmes]

My daughter and I were making a collage.

[Jonathan Scott]

Jonathan Scott, People magazine, White horse. You're on a white horse on the beach. On a white horse in a sunset. Ready for love. It's so embarrassing. And.

[Pete Holmes]

So did you do multiple setup.

[Jonathan Scott]

I'm not joking. So this is a. Had Zoe seen that article about me, she would never have dated me, I guarantee you. Because it was really. Tell me when you got. We met three months after that came out.

[Pete Holmes]

It takes three months to live this down.

[Jonathan Scott]

I mean, I'm still living it down. I'm on a horse in Mexico on the beach, a white horse. And this horse is tired looking.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that horse is. And you look. You look like you're about to attend Tony Robbins seminar.

[Jonathan Scott]

You look magnificent. Anyway, that's what I was saying.

[Pete Holmes]

Tell me, were you worried that would.

[Jonathan Scott]

Be the COVID Well, that. So my whole thing was. I get it. I get sometimes why publicists have different things they want to do. And sometimes I'm a little too susceptible, like, a little too accommodating for some things. But anyway, it didn't affect Zoe. When we met, we actually met on carpal karaoke. It was Zoe and her sister Emily. It was Drew and me, and it was sisters and the brothers, and we had a blast. And Zoe, James. What's that?

[Pete Holmes]

James Corden.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. It was the show on Apple that he had.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, is the show. So he wasn't there?

[Jonathan Scott]

No, exactly. We did a. We did a whole series of songs. Everything from Proclaimers, 500 miles. Like we. Like so Linda Ronstadt. Like, we had so many. We actually went back. So they had Zoe and me, just the two of us go back and do a kind of. Where Are They Now?

[Pete Holmes]

Before, you were dating.

[Jonathan Scott]

And we won an Emmy for it. No, no. We started dating almost immediately.

[Pete Holmes]

Your relationship won an Emmy?

[Jonathan Scott]

Pretty much, yes. I mean, not the first one. They're like, we don't know about this relationship. But the second one did.

[Pete Holmes]

When you get married, will the Emmy officiate?

[Jonathan Scott]

I think that's how it works. I think you don't have to pay.

[Pete Holmes]

It cuts to the crowd. It's just Golden Globes on one side and Oscars on the other.

[Jonathan Scott]

Well, we don't give each other vows. We give each other Emmys.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And SAG residuals.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, exactly. I think so.

[Pete Holmes]

I understand Jonathan has written his own SAG residuals.

[Jonathan Scott]

I'm really. I'm really bad with all the technicalities. I am planning a wedding right now. Zoe and I are planning her wedding and we. We're so, like. We've been there before. We're like, you know what? We just want to have a kick ass party. Second wedding's the best with the people we really care about.

[Pete Holmes]

Hello, I'm talking to second wedding. Second wedding is the only good. It's the only good wedding. What do you think you're going to enjoy your first wedding?

[Jonathan Scott]

Ridiculous.

[Pete Holmes]

Get the fuck out of here. That's like losing your virginity. Second wedding is like, all right, I know a couple moves, and they're all just, I want people to have a fun time. Can I give you one piece of unsolicited advice that Val really nailed for our wedding?

[Jonathan Scott]

Absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

You just want your wedding to look like your love. And if you think about your inviting people into your. This sounds like something someone would say on your show. But, like, what it feels like. Meaning, not fancier. Sparkling. I just mean, like, sloppy and sweat. Is it warm? Is it sloppy? Is it sweaty? Is there a ukulele on every seat? No. Our wedding was very, like, folksy. It was kind of bluegrassy. It was outside. Everybody had to pick up their chairs from the ceremony and take it over the table. Wine barrels. It was in a vineyard and a big tree and twinkle lights. Not super fancy. It wasn't like a. Like that. But it was warm. And it sort of had a fantastic Mr. Fox kind of flavor because that movie meant a lot to us. And that vibe, that Wes Anderson kind of feeling. Anyway, so when people come to the wedding and they're celebrating and bearing witness to you guys and enjoying it, if it feels like this little ecosystem of you guys, and then it's not like planning a party. It's more like, what do we look like? What do we look like as a couple?

[Jonathan Scott]

I love that because the one thing that Zoe and I have bonded over is we both love to entertain, and we. This is my one humble brag that I'm allowed. We throw the best parties. We throw amazing dinner parties. We love doing it. She's very creative, and we do it all ourselves. She does tablescapes, and I handle the entertainment stuff. But for the wedding, I agree with you. It doesn't have to be the fanciest thing. It doesn't have to be anything. I also don't. Unless that's what you look like.

[Pete Holmes]

If you look like white marble in an indoor waterfall, then go for.

[Jonathan Scott]

For it. Golden toilets and calacatta.

[Pete Holmes]

What were you gonna say?

[Jonathan Scott]

Oh, I was just. I was gonna say, like, I don't subscribe to allowing your. The people around you to also dictate what you have to do at your wedding.

[Pete Holmes]

That's fucking right. Second wedding.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. If somebody, you know, I there. I have family that I've never met. I've got distant. I'm like. I'm. I'm literally, if. If I haven't had dinner or a sleepover with you in the last year.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Let me say it for you. Bye.

[Jonathan Scott]

Bye.

[Pete Holmes]

It's fucking bye.

[Jonathan Scott]

We want to keep it simple.

[Pete Holmes]

Can I tell you the healing? My first wedding was all fucking this and this. I don't want to say any titles. You know what family members they were. They all came to the first one I have for my first wedding. I don't look at these pictures, obviously, but, like, I know there are pictures of just miserable Lithuanians. Like, it looks like it should be in black and white.

[Jonathan Scott]

Hello.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, like, just like, why the fuck are you at my wedding? I'll tell you why. We were hoping you'd give us some cash and you didn't because we were 22 and broke. But anyway, that's not even true. You were there because my parents said that's the done thing, you know? And now our second wedding, the healing. And it goes back to what you were saying about relationships, when you realize that that's all nonsense. I have to invite who my parents say or I have to date someone that hurts me. It's the same. Yes. Mechanism that goes like. It's like my drug experience. We don't have to drag that aspect of the past into this. This is a fresh. This one. This is a fresh moment with arrows in every direction. You can go in any direction. And they say, well, you have to invite so and so. And you're like, roberta, your friend from church, will not be at the wedding. You know what I mean? Like, feels fucking great. Only a list, baby.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, exactly. But also, it's not on me to worry about someone else feeling like their feelings are hurt because they weren't invited.

[Pete Holmes]

That's not a box of water, by the way. That is not on you.

[Jonathan Scott]

No, it's not. But also, sometimes you'll have pressure from family members. Like, no, you have to. It's like, no, I really don't. Because I could also elope and not do the wedding at all. But we want to spend time with friends and family and whatnot. And I do remember there are certain from my first wedding, the one thing that it should have been a red flag for me. And I kind of like, glossed over and everything. But I'm Scottish, proud of my Scottish heritage.

[Pete Holmes]

You wanted to wear a kilt.

[Jonathan Scott]

And she said, I did wear a kilt. The wedding. We had this beautiful outdoor setting. Friends let us use their place on a lake. It was gorgeous. She forbid me from having bagpipes play at any point during the wedding. We were literally out On a lake in the perfect setting. I get that it's too loud in a church or something, but we were out on a lake. The first setting, I'm all in hills.

[Pete Holmes]

Is it a foggy lake? Cause if it's a foggy lake, there was a castle. It was.

[Jonathan Scott]

And I remember thinking to myself, I'm like. And so, you know, Zoe and I have talked about the stuff that we want to do. And speaking of castle, I proposed at Edinburgh Castle.

[Pete Holmes]

You did not.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, I had a whole thing. I had a pipe band set up. It was all. We cleared the castle. We were the only people there.

[Pete Holmes]

Like a bagpipe.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

See, that's healing. That's the punchline to that story. First wedding, no bagpipes. Second engagement, bring in the bagpipes.

[Jonathan Scott]

She literally knows the things that are important to me, the things that have hurt me. I've had other relationships too, where the person ended up doing the same thing that hurt me in a previous relationship. And they knew that that was what happened in a previous. And they still did it. And so that's what I think is so incredible. When you find somebody who knows your sensitivities, who knows what has hurt you, and they vow to never do that.

[Pete Holmes]

No, that's exactly right. My first wife, like I said, it was infidelity, and she left me. And as much as I've been therapized and healed and it's been a long time, all of those things, Val knows. She just has to tell me, I'm not gonna leave you. She just has to say it, because I get. There's like a little wounded 28 year old still in me somewhere. And she just goes, baby, I'm not gonna leave you. I'm not gonna leave you. And I'm just like, that's my bagpipes. Yeah, I know that sounds silly, but like. No, that's exactly when you find the healing element.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. And it is. And it is something to be said for it being verbalized, because people will think it, but they don't say it. I'm like. You realize, like when you're saying. When you're at a party, it. It is important for those little gestures to show that you're thinking of the other person you carry. You haven't.

[Pete Holmes]

Just a foot under the table. Yeah, that's all I need. I am not a glutton for. I am a glutton for attention to my work, but in my regular life, because Val and I talked about this. If she just touches my hand or if she just. If I touch her hand and she holds it. Yeah, it's. It's. It's funny how quickly we can just unravel if we don't. Scrotum thumb, right to the taint. You push up and you go, it's the male.

[Jonathan Scott]

She still loves me. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Thanks for stopping me from saying male G spot. And then I brought it up. Anyway, what's interesting is that Zooey Deschanel is a theme for a wedding. Like, I guarantee people have said to wedding planners, make my wedding look like it's Zooey Deschanel's wedding, because she has a. And I mean all of this as a compliment. I don't mean it as, like, a phony, like, brand, but I mean, she has a look, she has an aesthetic.

[Jonathan Scott]

Oh, she's.

[Pete Holmes]

She's a stylish person because she's a musician.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So once if you listen to she and him or her Christmas albums or what, all that stuff, and you go make it look like that.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, I can.

[Pete Holmes]

I can already see it.

[Jonathan Scott]

I can already see the slogan. New guy and girl.

[Pete Holmes]

That's the wedding slang. New guy and girl. Wait, no. She and him and him. She and them.

[Jonathan Scott]

She and them. Both of them.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's you and your brother.

[Jonathan Scott]

Wait a second. No, it's true. It actually was pretty incredible because she has. Even when we were designing our house, we were renovating for three years on our home, too, here to get done.

[Pete Holmes]

Like the Winchester house?

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, that one. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I still want to go. They invited me to go there. Yeah, exactly. But no, they. I've never trusted anybody else to design anything within the walls of the home I live in. And I discovered that Zoe has incredible taste. And so she picked a lot of the wallpapers and the fixtures and hardware and stuff like that. And then I could focus on the architectural and the construction side. But it was great. We have a very symbiotic relationship that way, where we lean on each other even when we're doing. Obsessed with escape rooms. We do escape rooms all the time, just the two of us. And I'm very fast. I'm very, very quick. I've done hundreds of them all over the world, and I love it.

[Pete Holmes]

You skip steps. You're like, the keys in there. And I bet it's over there, but I bet it just says it's behind the clock.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, yeah. I literally will do. But you're not always right. And so Zoe's very. She's slow but meticulous, and she'll go through and she'll pick up all the things that I missed, and it ends up being this perfect relationship where we kind of. We respect each other's weaknesses, but we also support each other's strengths.

[Pete Holmes]

You might want to work that into your vows, because that just made me a little emotional, because a relationship is like an escape room, and you want a good partner in your escape room. No, no, no. I don't mean it like that.

[Jonathan Scott]

No, no. I'm literally thinking in my mind, because I haven't written my vows yet.

[Pete Holmes]

You want to have a partner that is bringing something else that was missing. So if I'm in an escape room, it's exactly how Val and I are. Not to compliment us again, but I'm just like, I love our love, and I am this. And I sort of am like, I'm high processing. I'm fast. I'm this. I'm heady. I'm top down. She's bottom up. And she brings me into my body, and she brings in all this, like, wisdom. She's the one that goes, like, you need to slow down. She's the one that says, like, I don't think you need to do that. You're missing this and this. And so she's literally, like, waking me up to life, and then I'm. And I would say this if she was here again. Like, I'm making her feel safe. I know that's very heteronormative or whatever it is, but, like, I'm protecting her and providing for so she can blossom. But it's just so I. It might. And I'm not even talking necessarily about financials. I'm just saying, like, I got you. I believe in you. I say it to her all the time.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I believe you have to be able.

[Jonathan Scott]

To do that for each other.

[Pete Holmes]

That's.

[Jonathan Scott]

That's the whole thing. I've been in relationships where I was the only one constantly supporting and engaging and, you know, doing all of these things to show support, and it wasn't reciprocated.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

And you. Eventually, it chips away at you to the point where your emotional foundation is rocky.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And I'm a say it person, too.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. No, I think it's. It's important to. And you know what? The thing is so funny is I'm not a gift person. I don't like gifts.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't like gifts either.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. I find it. I don't even know what to say sometimes when people get. Because I don't like gifts. I have the things that I need, but you know, if someone makes like a creative.

[Pete Holmes]

Like a creative thing that will write me a poem.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. But what I was thinking is some people, they feel like the only way to show Gifts. Gifts. Gifts. Gifts. Yeah. The value of a written note or a poem or even just some kind words in an unexpected moment.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

Worth way more.

[Pete Holmes]

I agree.

[Jonathan Scott]

Than a. Well, maybe not a brand new Lamborghini, but a Lambo.

[Pete Holmes]

I'd rather have the Lambo, baby. No, honestly, no. If somebody gave me a Lamborghini, I would get rid of it immediately. But if somebody said, like the new.

[Jonathan Scott]

Electric one looks like the Batmobile, by the way.

[Pete Holmes]

Does it really?

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Which one?

[Jonathan Scott]

Which Batmobile? Like the big sexy curve, the long body frame on it. It looks.

[Pete Holmes]

You mean Tim BURTON Batman.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like 86.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, yeah. Or whatever.

[Pete Holmes]

That was 89.

[Jonathan Scott]

A little more straight edge than. But I just thought that would be appropriate seeing us right behind you as Batman.

[Pete Holmes]

And there's Batman behind you. I call them Batman.

[Pete Holmes (Host/Intro Voice)]

Pardon the interruption, weirdos. This episode is brought to us by our friends at the Perfect Gene. Sorry to keep talking about my Netflix special, but of course I'm wearing the perfect gene in my Netflix special. I am not for everyone because they look incredible and they feel incredible. It's the 21st century. I don't know why we can't wear comfortable pants that also look good. But, you know, in the past, your options were yoga pants like Sting or Phil Collins or something. But now we have jeans that look like designer jeans with ultra, ultra high quality craftsmanship. Craftsmanship. I never have to replace my. My perfect jeans. And I wear them every single day. And they're buttery, soft, silky smooth and give you stretch so you're. So your man parts aren't crushed. These are the best bands I've ever owned. No lie. I own so many pairs and so many different washes. Even their khaki wash, which is incredible. I love a light khaki. It looks like khakis, but it's that soft genie material. Genie. Yeah, a genie material.

[Pete Holmes]

And what do they do?

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[Pete Holmes]

It's like a pro. Oh, pro.

[Pete Holmes (Host/Intro Voice)]

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[Pete Holmes]

Sorry.

[Pete Holmes (Host/Intro Voice)]

Add Essential for Men to your subscription today. That's ritual.com weird. All right, everybody, back to Jonathan Scott.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. There's a bunch of Batman behind you. Is again, not a gossip podcast. Do you think Zoe will sing at your wedding? Because that's an interesting one. If I'm coming to your wedding, which I'm assuming I'm not, because I love your credentials.

[Jonathan Scott]

Pals.

[Pete Holmes]

Deep. The deep. Fresh.

[Jonathan Scott]

Wait, when's our last sleepover? That we had?

[Pete Holmes]

This podcast is surprisingly long. I would buy a scuffle.

[Jonathan Scott]

I don't think I'd fit on this couch.

[Pete Holmes]

You absolutely wouldn't.

[Jonathan Scott]

That would fit on. Why is that one cushion backwards? That's gonna bug me.

[Pete Holmes]

There's a stain on it. No, but it could go the other way.

[Jonathan Scott]

It could rotate. Yeah, yeah. The zippers forward, zippers back. People.

[Pete Holmes]

Tell me something about your house when you designed it. We'll fix that. Don't do it now. Katie. You know there's spiders in that cone.

[Jonathan Scott]

You just told me to sleep on that couch.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I want you to be devoured by spiders. What is something in your house that you guys again? Just for.

[Jonathan Scott]

Wait. I never answered your question.

[Pete Holmes]

Tell me.

[Jonathan Scott]

I don't know that Zoe will sing at the wedding. I love every thing she sings. Everything she plays. Our house. I designed it.

[Pete Holmes]

So we listened to her for two months. November, December. It's just.

[Jonathan Scott]

Greatest holiday album.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the greatest holiday albums ever.

[Jonathan Scott]

But we were talking about that and I don't know. I want us to have in it where we don't have to be on like, you know, we can enjoy each other. So. We haven't even talked about that stuff yet, but I don't know. I don't know if she will or not.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it's interesting. I'm thinking it through. I. Like, I didn't. I wouldn't have wanted to do a funny toast. My vows weren't very funny. You know what I mean? That was enough performance. And then the rest of it was ice cream and dancing. Oh, here's another tip. Ready for a tip?

[Jonathan Scott]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

This is a good tip. I don't even.

[Jonathan Scott]

I'm not going to apologize for. Eat the ice cream after the dancing.

[Pete Holmes]

No. No. Fill your butt crack with the ice cream. Okay. Then have a box of hungry squirrels.

[Jonathan Scott]

Wait. Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

No. This is a tip that I wish I could remember the name of our wedding planner. But she said, what you do is. Because what's a great wedding? I mean, maybe you differ on this, but a great wedding is one where everyone dances. You get, first of all, fucking bangers only. What is this fucking bullshit with wedding DJs playing sleeper hits and shit? Beyonce. Play Beyonce. Like, just fucking do it. Let's go play Crazy in Love. These are the things that Val and I like to dance to. But regardless of your music choices, after the ceremony, you guys have come out, you've been announced. Get everyone on the dance floor for a photo. Take a huge group photo. Then play the song. Play the song everyone has to dance to while everyone's on the dance floor for the photo.

[Jonathan Scott]

Brilliant idea.

[Pete Holmes]

And it just. It just happens. And next thing you know, instead of three brave people dancing out of the hundred, let's say 75 are gonna stay on the dance floor. The old people are gonna shuffle off to Buffalo.

[Jonathan Scott]

Well. And we're actually gonna put psychedelics into the desserts.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's what I was gonna say as well.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, that just kind of kicks things off, too.

[Pete Holmes]

If you had a wedding where everyone was on mdma, that would be incredible. It would also lead to an orgy.

[Jonathan Scott]

Which would be weird.

[Pete Holmes]

You'd be like, who's family?

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, exactly. Well, which is also an interesting thing, too, because so we recently just did a holiday, went through, you know, Scotland and England and France and everything.

[Pete Holmes]

I saw that on your social. You were in the woods that you played in.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, well, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

That's very sweet.

[Jonathan Scott]

So that's Lanark, where we were born. My dad was born. And so our family's all from Lanark. It turns out Zoe's mom's family is from Blackwood, which is 10 minutes away from there.

[Pete Holmes]

No way.

[Jonathan Scott]

So there's a 31% chance that we're distant cousins, so who knows? But we won't talk about that.

[Pete Holmes]

It's so hot.

[Jonathan Scott]

So hot.

[Pete Holmes]

I didn't think you guys were gonna make it until just now. Because that is the kind of heat you can't fake.

[Jonathan Scott]

No 30% chance that is.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, that's very funny. I thought that was real science.

[Jonathan Scott]

No, no.

[Pete Holmes]

Let me ask you this. I need to know, what is your elf watching policy? Because, look, you can't have Christmas without watching elf. You can't.

[Jonathan Scott]

Agreed.

[Pete Holmes]

You have. So that means you have to watch it with her. Is she able to watch Elf?

[Jonathan Scott]

No, she doesn't like to watch herself.

[Pete Holmes]

But you gotta deep fake it. Deep fake fuckin Katy Perry on her face.

[Jonathan Scott]

So we have. There's a few films over the holidays that are like my go to. I love Elf. It's a Wonderful Life.

[Pete Holmes]

You gotta do it with Zoey. You gotta do it with her.

[Jonathan Scott]

Well, the funny thing is now the kids are at an age where their friends are now realizing that Zoe is an elf. And they watch it and they love it. And so a lot like we'll go to the kids school yesterday. We were an event. The kids and other kids will run up and they'll just be like, start waving. Hi, Zoe.

[Pete Holmes]

And these are even girls.

[Jonathan Scott]

What's that?

[Pete Holmes]

Six?

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, six intervenes. Yeah. And it's hilarious and it's cute. And so we don't really. We don't watch a lot of TV and stuff. Like in general, I don't even watch TV at all unless I'm like on a plane or something. Usually good murder show before bedtime. But that's okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Something to really haunt you.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. But no, we, you know, the holiday movies.

[Pete Holmes]

You need to tell her this. First of all, it's Blonde Zoe. She won't even recognize herself. And she's like what, 20 years old in it.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Enough time has passed. She needs to watch Elf. This is real.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

She doesn't know what she's doing.

[Jonathan Scott]

Do I use that tone pitch that you play this clip?

[Pete Holmes]

Zooey Deschanel has to watch Elf.

[Jonathan Scott]

I get it.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, we're all Adam Driver and we can't watch ourselves. You need to watch Elf. If Adam Driver was Elf, he'd watch Elf. Yeah, because it's Christmas. It's not Christmas without Elf.

[Jonathan Scott]

I want to see Adam Driver as Elf. Now that's. You just put that in my head. I can't do it.

[Pete Holmes]

I can hear it. I can hear it in my head.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. So good. Oh my God. Love, Adam.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a very different flavor.

[Jonathan Scott]

I hope you find your dad.

[Pete Holmes]

Say hi to your dad.

[Jonathan Scott]

My dad left me. I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, anyway, I, I don't. I think I've heard lore of that movie. Like they didn't think it was working. Do you have any inside scoop on that?

[Jonathan Scott]

Which movie?

[Pete Holmes]

Elf. I heard like the production was kind of like. I, I think this is what I think I heard. I'm not even putting it to you. We're just two guys talking that.

[Jonathan Scott]

Because I really know nothing.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, I know. That's why I'm just forget that we're not looking for insider info is what I mean. I heard that, like, Will thought they were making a very different movie from what they were making.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And that it wasn't. You know, there's that horror cut of Elf. The trailer. Have you not. Have you seen it? Oh, you gotta Google it, somebody. It's one of the great ones. You know, they say comedy and horror movies, the only difference is the music.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So you can cut Elf into a very good horror trailer.

[Jonathan Scott]

Really?

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, think about it. Zoe's in the shower and he's coming in and he's just like the raccoon.

[Jonathan Scott]

That jumps on his face.

[Pete Holmes]

The raccoon. I mean. You're kidding. But that gave me nightmares.

[Jonathan Scott]

All right.

[Pete Holmes]

No, but like, they're like, something's wrong with him. And it's like this Christmas, I do.

[Jonathan Scott]

Remember reading as well, the same thing that it apparently wasn't an easy road to make that movie. And there were a lot of, like, changes. And even in edit, I believe that they had to go through a lot of passes and.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. And I think they realized kind of late. Wait, this is a family movie?

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you can sorta. You can sort of tell, like, it seemed like it was like maybe he's a little, like, not. Not twisted, but like, something's wrong with this guy. And then they were like, no, it's magical. It's Christmas magic.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. Anyways, I mean, it is one of the great Christmas movies. I do love it.

[Pete Holmes]

And Josh Rubin. Do you know Josh Rubin? He's one of the funniest people ever. He's in the crowd during the news scene. And we always spot Josh Rubin. He's great, great.

[Jonathan Scott]

Peter Dinklage.

[Pete Holmes]

Old Dinkies.

[Jonathan Scott]

Dinkies in there. Yeah. You got Adam or not Adam. Oh, my God, the dad? No, Conan's.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, Andy.

[Jonathan Scott]

Andy. Andy, Adam.

[Pete Holmes]

But who's the dad? Because that's a classic.

[Jonathan Scott]

James Caan.

[Pete Holmes]

James Caan, yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

He. He was great. Yeah. Yeah. That's the whole thing is that, you know, I actually do play through coming over here. I was playing a throwback jams mix of music. And I'm like, for me, I love the genre I grew up in the music my parents play at the holidays. It's Bing Crosby, it's Nat King Cole. And you know, the movies that we would watch, you know, It's a Wonderful Life, you know, what's the other one with Scrooge?

[Pete Holmes]

Bill Murray.

[Jonathan Scott]

No, no, no, the original with Alistair Sim.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh.

[Jonathan Scott]

Like, I like the Christmas Carol.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

All of these just brings back a sense of nostalgia. Well, my hope is, you know, that the kids will keep coming back to the house and they'll keep, you know, we have the holidays, we have everything happen. They'll love those traditions, they'll love those memories, and we'll have those moments, our family. There's not really a lot of drama in our family. You know, our. Our parents were pretty strict growing up. Everything. But we have these beautiful moments, these beautiful family memories. And I love that our parents have now moved here and so we can actually spend time together again. But that's important for me. And so all the chaos and the craziness, everything goes on. Holidays are my favorite time because I love the music, I love the movies, I love the food, and that's what's important to me.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I'm going for it this year. Every year I make the pledge. This is going to be the Christmas. It always makes me a little depressed. Yeah, I get. Because, look, I'm not trying to shit on my family. I'm just saying, like, it as a group. We weren't always gelling. Yeah, I'll say that. And the holidays was always like, the time we spent the most time together. And there was all this pressure and.

[Jonathan Scott]

Well, that's why they always say that, you know, family, like, holiday dinners are always, like, the catalyst for every major family argument. And it's true.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

I don't know what it. And I would see a lot of that that could happen for extended periods of time because you get people together and, you know, inevitably, you know, and.

[Pete Holmes]

You bring in pressure of gifts and stuff. And look, we're talking about.

[Jonathan Scott]

I don't like.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, no, I'm with you. Part of the reason, though, dude, is why I don't like gifts is because I saw that it's not for everybody. And I really wish this is compassion. I'm not on my parents. I'm like, I wish we could have been like, look, we're not great at gifts. That's okay. Let's do something else. Maybe we're a trip. Maybe we should go on a trip on Christmas or something. I don't know how you could have saved my family's Christmas, but what we did was Christmas Eve, Barnes and Noble, and it's fucking sad. And so, like, when I went to Val. I don't mean to change the whole subject, but when I went to Val's house for Christmas, and they're great at Christmas they'll give you a thing that you mentioned six months ago. Like they're great at gifts. Or even if they're like swing shots in the dark. They're based on something you might like but not just your obvious interest. No, like a lower level interest or a book that you wanted to read.

[Jonathan Scott]

Some people are good at that.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's like emotional for me. And I'm like, there was something. It took a toll on me to shop for my mom on Christmas Eve. Ten minutes from the house and they wrap it. And every year we give her a cat calendar. I mean even saying that makes me just want to jump in a furnace. I can't stand it. But going back to the theme of this entire conversation. Okay, so no bagpipes. Bagpipes. And then no good gifts. I'm a great gift giver and I'm faking it. You know what you do? You just write it down. That's all a great gift giver is. You just have a folder in your phone called Val. She could find it at any moment and see what I've been. Because I'm not naturally good at it. But you put the effort in. And the effort is only a result of the trauma. So I can't even fault the trauma. The trauma was the engine that. That led to improvement. In the same way are not as successful relationships. Let's not even call them fail. They just. They weren't long term or permanent relationships led to the US that could say like, you know what? Christmas this year is going to be fucking great. And having kids is great for that. Because you're like, it's all about Leela.

[Jonathan Scott]

I don't totally about them.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like a second wedding. You go like, we don't need Roberta there.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And. And now it's just about making Leela believe in Sandy Claus.

[Jonathan Scott]

You know, you were saying a second ago about failing in relationships and I never understood why failure was. Because you're kind of taught in certain periods throughout your life that failure is bad. Failure is bad. Every successful person in business has failed way more than they've succeeded. Why can't that be accepted the same in relationships? I know. You can't get to a great relationship. Yeah. Without having a bunch of failures. That's how you evolve and adapt.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't. You said it. You don't even know what you want.

[Jonathan Scott]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

You didn't know what you wanted.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you were still unconsciously reenacting trauma. Ritualistically reenacting traumas. Because that was what was familiar. And they can be small traumas. I don't mean, like, abuse necessarily. I just mean, like, oh, that's familiar. But guess what? The fishbowl you were raised in isn't as fun as the ocean. Fucking break the bowl. You don't need to bring the bowl.

[Jonathan Scott]

Exactly. And it's also too, like. I see what you mean about having, like, you know, holiday memories that aren't really something that you get excited about or whatever. In my mind, I have certain situations, and particularly places that I visited with previous partners that really kind of tainted that place that I really did, like. And now it's like. And in my mind I'm like, is it that I would never want to go there again because I don't want to relive that, or do I go and make a new memory? Reclaim it. Yeah, reclaim it. Exactly. Can you do that with a holiday? Can you do that with a location?

[Pete Holmes]

I love that. I really feel seen. Thank you for hearing me, because that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to rip up a flag. It was a fine flag. It's not a failure. I just want a different flag in Mount Christmas. And it's funny, you've inspired me because I've had places that I thought were ruined by, like, fights. Like, I had a. Again, I used to just get screamed at.

[Jonathan Scott]

I was.

[Pete Holmes]

I wasn't much of a fighter. I was like more of a Chandler. I'd wait for a pause and say.

[Jonathan Scott]

Something horrible, but say it calmly. Pour gasoline on the inferno. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And one of those happened at the Grove. I remember just being screamed at at the Grove. I was that. You ever see a couple just having a real fight at the Grove? Well, I was that guy.

[Jonathan Scott]

Oh, wow.

[Pete Holmes]

And everybody was like, yikes, let's go to. Let's go to fucking PF Chang's and forget we saw that. But I can go to the Grove now. But that. That's a dumb example. But there are. There are vacation spots, places that you'd think like, well, that that's ruined. And then more and more that you embody this perspective. There's an Avett Brothers song. It's like, I don't know if it's Avett. No, it is an avid Brothers song. But he's talking about how all of those experiences, like, pave the road that.

[Jonathan Scott]

Lead you where you're going. That's exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

And nothing like me saying, I'm a good gift giver because my family was really bad at it.

[Jonathan Scott]

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[Pete Holmes]

Then we date anybody you sing with, you end up dating. Did you know that?

[Jonathan Scott]

Well, does Val know about us?

[Pete Holmes]

There's something going on here, isn't there?

[Jonathan Scott]

What does that make you know? You're the one witnessing all of this.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I'm a fundamentalist Christian and I need a chaperone. I kiss dating goodbye, if you get that reference. That's a weird one. I was gonna ask. What? Something in your house that you're particularly proud of. Meaning I'm giving you a green light to tell me about a load bearing beam that has.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, I thought I was literally coming here just to give you some construction advice.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I'm giving.

[Jonathan Scott]

Are we starting now? Are we starting?

[Pete Holmes]

The podcast starts now.

[Jonathan Scott]

Okay. Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Aren't you glad that I didn't say, what would you do with this studio? Fuck that shit, by the way.

[Jonathan Scott]

Can I just. I'm gonna. I'm gonna pat your ego for a moment here.

[Pete Holmes]

I'll get it ready.

[Jonathan Scott]

You are an incredible conversationalist.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, you are too, man.

[Jonathan Scott]

And your. Your talk show, I thought was so incredible.

[Pete Holmes]

That's from the background here.

[Jonathan Scott]

The podcast is so incredible because it's not. I hate going on to a show. And I've said this for years. Like, no one tunes into me if I'm doing a segment because they want to learn the next trending paint colors.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Jonathan Scott]

They want to laugh, they want to hear something from the heart. They want to. So anyway, just so you know, this has been a total joy.

[Pete Holmes]

I really appreciate it.

[Jonathan Scott]

But in my house. Yeah, my favorite room is the solarium. So I. We built out. We basically did a small addition back.

[Pete Holmes]

So we could do clothes sold. Like a sunroom.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, exactly. So it's the most naturally light filled room. It's literally like a kettle top glass roof that you totally just threw up a little bit. Yeah, I totally burped in the mic. I'm really rude. Remember we said I'm not the classy classic one.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I love it.

[Jonathan Scott]

I'm more like Canadian tuxedo.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. Which is very trendy right now because Brad Pitt wore one in Once Upon a Time.

[Jonathan Scott]

I taught him everything he knows.

[Pete Holmes]

I wrote down, I need a Brad Pitt story from you. Yeah, come on.

[Jonathan Scott]

He was great. Anyway, solarium. So that's where we host our dinner the other night. And it's just so beautiful. It's all. We have all the trees, olive trees in there and a green wall. And it's.

[Pete Holmes]

What's a green wall?

[Jonathan Scott]

Like, it's like a plant wall. Yeah. Very good for the air.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, it's beautiful. And, you know, like, we grow a lot of our own vegetables and everything as well. We have the lettuce grow farm stands and stuff like that. Zoe actually started that company with her ex husband and we're all very close and it's nice to be able to be surrounded by nature. Where we live is so quiet and private. And you literally have this magical moment in that room. You sit there and if you're reading or writing or whatever you're doing, it's just incredible.

[Pete Holmes]

This really. It just kind of slid by, but you were like, you don't watch tv. And I'm just so glad that you're not because you could be sitting in the solarium.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I mean?

[Jonathan Scott]

I'd have to install a TV in the solarium and that's just.

[Pete Holmes]

Which would ruin a lot of work. Now it's blue light. It's unnatural.

[Jonathan Scott]

But anyway. No, that's.

[Pete Holmes]

So you made a solarium. There's furniture in it. I'm really trying to picture it.

[Jonathan Scott]

Well, it's. I'll show you pictures after. But we have usually. So I custom designed two sofas, big sofas for in there. They're super cozy and loungey and it's just that with a coffee table. When we're doing an event, we do long harvest tables across the whole room between the trees. And then we'll set it up and our happy number in there is 24. We can have 24 guests for dinner.

[Pete Holmes]

I love that. You know that you should have a sign that says occupancy over 24 is not socially viable.

[Jonathan Scott]

Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not a fire hazard.

[Jonathan Scott]

No pants, no shoes, and no one over 24 people allowed in this space. But we set up the whole. I mean, I literally designed it to solve all of our problems as the kids get older and they're six and eight right now and what their needs will be and, you know, do we want to have people come visit? We've got the guest house. And even in the yard, you know, when we throw big Halloween parties or whatever it might be, I've set it up so there's infrastructure around the entire yard to plug in bouncy castles to do this to anything I could possibly think of so that we can host and have friends around. It's set up so it really makes everything easier for us because, you know, you have your zones, everything's all zoned.

[Pete Holmes]

Isn't it funny? Look, I don't mean to belabor this, but I have to imagine you like, what you do. So if this gets old, you let me know. But it's interesting how, like, little things like outlet placement. An old, old hotel. Where's the outlets? Behind the bed. You have to move the bed. And now there's USB C's. There's you. And I'm just like that. Human animals aren't that complicated. They just want to be like, did you think of me? And it actually goes back to what you're saying about this podcast. It's like, can we actually just create a space wherein we witness one another and, like, create something together? You know what I mean? And say, I see you, and a space can say, I see you.

[Jonathan Scott]

So, Drew, in my philosophy, is that your home should make your life easier, period.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

That's all it is. Do you have half your life spent doing laundry for the kids? All right, maybe there's something there you can do that makes that easier or faster. Yeah. Is it. Do you work from home and you need flex space? There are so many solutions. Every family is different. You know, we. What I love is we're actually relaunching our website to be more of, like, an online magazine, because we had a print magazine for a while, and print. It's just a very challenging realm, but people want the assistance. They want the help. Our sole goal with Drew and Jonathan.com is to get people enough information so they can make life easier, love their home more. You shouldn't, you know, feel you're spending all your time struggling with the house, and then you have no time to enjoy with the family. So that's our entire philosophy, is how can we help people make their home, make life easier? This has been great.

[Pete Holmes]

I've really enjoyed it. Oh, tell me a Brad Pitt thing.

[Jonathan Scott]

That's what we were gonna do.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, he said, would you mind?

[Jonathan Scott]

So the funny thing is, so Brad did Celebrity IOU, which we just finished our 55th episode of that show. It's incredible. Every time we cast a new season, I'm like, I don't know how I fell into such a great, you know, fun.

[Pete Holmes]

You just touched on it. It's so of use. And that doesn't mean people are using you, but people are excited for useful people.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I mean?

[Jonathan Scott]

Sometimes you want to say thank you. So for anyone who doesn't know Celebrity iou, basically, we partner with big celebrities, and they give back to someone who's been instrumental in their life in making them the success that they are. Halle Berry gave back to her fourth grade teacher. Melissa McCarthy gave back to her uncle who was a policeman who actually got injured in the field and had mobility trouble at home. Everyone's got a different story. Brad Pitt, it was his makeup artist, who'd been with him for 35 years through thick and thin. And really, he said he would literally just go to her house and crash on her sofa sometimes when he just needed a break, he needed to get away. And I must have been hard on her. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

She's actually just lays around.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. The funny thing, too, is the number one question I got after we did the Brad Pitt episode was, did he smell nice?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Mahogany and courage.

[Jonathan Scott]

I mean, I don't remember exactly what he smelled like, but I'm sure it was fine. What I remember.

[Pete Holmes]

Somebody is in charge of his smell.

[Jonathan Scott]

He is. You know what? There aren't all people think there are all these people around him. The dude is so down to earth.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. I actually didn't think he was that sort of way. And I'm gonna take back my rib.

[Jonathan Scott]

It was a joke.

[Pete Holmes]

There are some people. Yeah, but. But there are some people that just have it. I know. That's so stupid.

[Jonathan Scott]

No, it's true.

[Pete Holmes]

But I'm like, this guy's.

[Jonathan Scott]

But you know what really made a mark on me is he. So throughout the renovation, he came back several times to work with us and, you know, get all these different jobs done that we want to do. And he remembered every single person's name on the crew and in the construction crew, so the camera crew and the construction crew. And when he came back for the reveal. Yeah, that's Marty. Marty.

[Pete Holmes]

Marty's coming up to you. No, on the left. Oh, sorry.

[Jonathan Scott]

Marty. He was just so chill about it and everything. And, you know, because sometimes you work with people that. We've implemented a no douchebag rule, we're no longer gonna work with people who are in it for publicity or in it for something else. We want genuinely.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. It can't be the. Promote the movie.

[Jonathan Scott]

No, exactly. And so because I found that the people who are not genuinely into being on Celebrity iou, they're, like, rushing to get out or, you know, and it's like they're accommodating us by making time. I'm like, this is really supposed to be a beautiful thing, giving back to someone who's so important in your life. And these people have wanted to do this for a long time. And what better way than something that's actually going to transform their lives? And some of the stories. I remember Michael Buble, it was his grandfather that got him into music. Sat him down at the record player, put on crooner tunes and got him into music. Even negotiated with a local bar to allow him as a child to go in and sing and perform his very first public performance.

[Pete Holmes]

You do have to have two martinis.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, exactly. It's too.

[Pete Holmes]

You can come in, but you have.

[Jonathan Scott]

To have two martinis. But. But. So then his grandfather, when he was older and his health was ailing, Michael actually was giving back to the nurse who was with his grandfather for the last 10 years of his life, who, when the grandfather passed away, the nurse didn't really have a home to raise her child safely. So Michael renovated and gifted this to her. So everyone has a story, and we realized it's the excitement of having the celebrity, but it's the. The gift. And the benefit is going to somebody.

[Pete Holmes]

Who really needs it, and there needs to be. It has to be genuine.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. And. And heartfelt, which is why we haven't had you on the show.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I've been sitting here going like, God, I gotta do a movie or something so I can get in here.

[Jonathan Scott]

I get this.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it's just for me.

[Jonathan Scott]

No, I. Okay. I'm not gonna lie. So we. I'm gonna tell you something. This is really. It's not bitchy, but it's a little bitchy. We. A lot of celebrities will reach out and they just want something for themselves. We had one celebrity that reached out and they wanted to gift it to their wife. I'm like, but wait, you guys both live in the same house? He's like, yeah, yeah. No, but, you know, like, she, like, she could really use this.

[Pete Holmes]

That's like when the Mafia. Like, when Tony Soprano would give Carmela.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

$99,000 because. Yeah. To avoid taxes.

[Jonathan Scott]

And it was a gift. But also, we've had celebrities who reach out and they want us to have them on cru, but they're going to gift back to their investment property. And I'm like, I really don't think you're understanding the purpose of the show.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

So. Oh, man. But you know what? Teach their own. I, I, I, I applaud the.

[Pete Holmes]

The boldness.

[Jonathan Scott]

The boldness. The honesty asking. But no. No, that's not the case.

[Pete Holmes]

So Brad knew everybody's names, and he was down to earth.

[Jonathan Scott]

Hyper obsession. Yeah. He just ate with everybody. He just. Yeah, just, you know, there's certain.

[Pete Holmes]

It just makes me happy that he's not like, I'm doing South beach or whatever. Like, he's just fucking honking.

[Jonathan Scott]

I can't even. I could Go through the list. If we had. I don't have the list, but, like, you know, Viola Davis, Allison Janney, like, they're all so kind. They're just. They're down. I don't like pretentious people, cell phones. I don't like people that have to have trouble, like, just being normal. And so when we get to work with these folks, the new season as well is incredible. I don't know. I can't say yet who's in the new season, but when it's announced, it's like you'll just see this eclectic mix of incredible people, and it's a joy to make. And we still make 40 episodes of our shows a year. Property brothers, brother versus brother, celebrity IOU. And then we produce another 13 series with other talent in addition to that. So.

[Pete Holmes]

And you don't feel overburdened?

[Jonathan Scott]

Drew and I naturally divide and conquer everything, so it's been pretty great. On the product side. I run with all that. Drew runs with the production. We're at a point though, where I love that we only film in one place. And so we're only filming our shows in LA because I love taking the kids to school in the morning and I love being home for dinner every night. Yeah. And that never happened the past. Drew has a 16 month old now. And so priorities have changed for Drew and Linda. Yeah. So, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Linda. That sounds like a fake wife. And Drew's wife, Linda. If you don't want to tell me.

[Jonathan Scott]

His wife's name, I just don't trust you enough.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, we'll get the real name later. And how is it becoming a dad? I think I. Can I start with a compliment?

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

If I were to like, lab design a guy that could enter into a relationship and the kids would be psychedelic. It's you. And it's not because of the White Horse video. I mean, like, you're real. You seem like you'd be really, really fun with kids and you do a cool thing. Like, kids love playing, building, creating. And you're someone who's maintained that spark.

[Jonathan Scott]

Let me tell you why. It's funny that you say this because genetically, you couldn't have created a better bonus dad. Bonus dad. I used to be a clown. I was a professional clown. For many even talked about magic. I'm a magician. Yes. And I can build stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

What else? No, I know.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, that had to be something that Zoe recognized. I mean, that had talk about things changing. You go like, it's not just like, does he have a motorcycle? Or whatever. Is he exciting for me? But you're going like, oh, this guy just did close up magic. The kids are going to love it.

[Jonathan Scott]

I think it was the glutes.

[Pete Holmes]

Your glutes.

[Jonathan Scott]

The glutes. I think that's what sold Zoe. Yeah. What?

[Pete Holmes]

Clowning.

[Jonathan Scott]

I was a clown. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I laughed at the admission. I never laugh at you.

[Jonathan Scott]

No, we did. So we. When we were kids. So we grew up in a pretty strict household. It was. We grew up in a ranch, and so, like, we were. We didn't get a allowance to do stuff. You do it. And so, like, we shoveled horseshit, and we're painting fences and weeding and. And blah, blah, blah. But we. When we turned 8, my dad legitimately told us we had to get a job. He wanted us to learn to work for somebody else, to do something else. And so we had the paper open, and we're looking at the classifieds, which nowadays nobody will know what the hell that is, But. And we saw an ad from Parks and Rec, and it was learn to be a clown. They had a workshop. Learn to juggle face paint, do magic, and then they'll hire you for parades and stuff afterward if it works out. So we're eight years old. Was like, not what I was thinking. No, I had in mind. And so he. My dad is the dad from head. He punts new.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. So I married an expert. So that is my dad. Anyway, so we went, did this course, learned this, and sure enough, they started putting us out for parades and as assistant. Like, assistant clowns and stuff, because we're still just kids.

[Pete Holmes]

It's funny because clowning totally ruins the fact that you're twins.

[Jonathan Scott]

It does, because we had different characteristics.

[Pete Holmes]

But maybe that was what you liked about it. It's like, finally, I'm just Jonathan.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. Drew's been trying to make it just property brother for a long time.

[Pete Holmes]

He's been trying to kill me, but not gonna happen.

[Jonathan Scott]

No. But anyway, did that. And eventually we started our own business at, like, 12. We were doing our own birthday parties and stuff, making, like, 50 bucks an hour, which was incredible. Like, this is what. So I'm 45, so it's like, 30 years ago. And anyway, so we eventually started doing more magic instead of clowning because I didn't like putting on all the makeup and everything every time. Yeah. And did that for years. Won a bunch of awards, even performed, like, a big show in Vegas.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow. Do you know I love magic?

[Jonathan Scott]

No, I didn't.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I like legit love magic.

[Jonathan Scott]

Dude. We Just had a magic dinner party at our house two weeks ago.

[Pete Holmes]

Who did you have? Who came?

[Jonathan Scott]

Jackson Ridd's the name of the magician.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Jonathan Scott]

Incredibly talented. We had a tarot card reader as well, and I'm telling you, everyone. So we invited everyone who we know is. Who appreciates magic who are not magicians.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

We wanted really experience, and it was the most incredible evening. Everyone left, and their minds were blown. I even performed as well. I did a card selection where I. I find the card with a nail gun. Everyone knows I love it.

[Pete Holmes]

You shoot the deck, and it's only.

[Jonathan Scott]

I had somebody hold a board, and then I throw the cards and I shoot through at the board, and of course, they're sweating and it's a good time. So we. I. I still.

[Pete Holmes]

Real magic. That's like a real thing.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. I love. I. I'm obsessed. I love magic. I'm a member of the Castle, and I did a renovation at the Castle, too, for them. I. I added space there at the castle.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm forgetting his name. Katie, we. Would you Google. You made it weird. Magician Justin Willman.

[Jonathan Scott]

It's not Willman.

[Pete Holmes]

Sorry, Justin. Justin's incredible and hilarious. It's Taylor or Tyler or.

[Jonathan Scott]

Fuck.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm embarrassed. I'm forgetting his name. But he has a trick that I literally spend nights still laying up and trying to think about. I do magic as well as an appreciator. Like, I like knowing how things are done, not to ruin it, and I don't go blabbing, but I like the mechanics of it. I like the art of it. And his trick. I'm gonna. We're gonna try and get his name.

[Jonathan Scott]

Come on.

[Pete Holmes]

I bet I have him in my phone as magician. Let's see.

[Jonathan Scott]

What do you have me in your phone at?

[Pete Holmes]

Magician.

[Jonathan Scott]

All right.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I'm sorry, buddy. The trick is. Okay, can you go on YouTube and type in lottery ticket trick? The trick is I'm gonna tell you everything.

[Jonathan Scott]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

And you're gonna love it.

[Jonathan Scott]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Maybe we should just watch it. But he gets five. There's five, six people around. And I know you what you're thinking as a magician. You're like, what happened before the cameras start rolling? But, like, I'm like, it can't be that. You know what I mean? Like, there's certain tricks where it's like, maybe they pulled them on the phone.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. Like, if I see a trick and I want to figure it out, I. I like to be there in person to witness it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. So we weren't there before it happened But I don't see any way in there. Nate. What's his name? Nate Saniforth. Yeah, Nate. Okay, so Nate Saniforth, he gets five people. I've also seen him do it in a crowd to call out numbers. And then he takes out a lottery ticket in his pocket, and it's those numbers, and that is the best that can trick. And I've also. So I've asked him a lot of questions about it. He, like, he lets me ask him one question about it per year. And one of them was, you know, I like to ask things like, is it really random? And he goes like, yeah. And I wanted to prove that one time, because I would. One time, he did the trick by standing with his back to the audience and throw the ball. And if you caught it, you said one of the numbers, Right? I know as I'm saying it, it sounds boring to me, but if you see someone, five random people, name five numbers, then he takes out his wallet, which was on him the whole time. And I've. I. You know, obviously. And I'm not trying to take anything away. I'm like, how can we do this? Like, literally, you'd have to build something, like, the mechanics of it.

[Jonathan Scott]

So what I think is great. So I used to design a lot of the illusions that I perform, and I intentionally designed illusions to fool other magicians. And it pisses them off. They fucking hated it. Generally, there are only so many principles in magic, and everything you see is a different color painted prop or a different.

[Pete Holmes]

That's why I was like, is it some sort of force? You get them to say the numbers you want?

[Jonathan Scott]

And again, it could be any number of ways. I appreciate the artistry that goes into creating a routine, because if someone was to figure out how a routine worked, normally, the reaction would be like, oh, it's always disappointing. That's it. But to actually come up with that and all of the safeguards to prevent someone figuring out it is so complicated, and it's so incredibly. You need talent in order to do that.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

That's why I appreciate. So I can go in, and most of the time, I'll know how.

[Pete Holmes]

Even with a mentalist trick like that.

[Jonathan Scott]

I used to do a lot of mentalism. Yeah. And I loved mentalism. And so there I saw a guy.

[Pete Holmes]

At the castle, same thing. Bartender, Everybody shouted out a card, and he turned the cards over, and it was the cards that everyone had said. And you're just like. That's just.

[Jonathan Scott]

Well, the chances are he's probably a demon.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, demon.

[Jonathan Scott]

Or an evil wizard.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

But no, it's something. I can appreciate it. And even if I can't figure it out, it doesn't. It doesn't eat me out. Eat me out. It does eat me out. Rim job. Yes, Rim job. It doesn't eat me up inside. Because you can't ultimately figure out everything because there are so many different methods to accomplish. Accomplish something. Even if you think you know the one method, it might not be the method. And there's others. I remember, like Copperfield as well. He used to have multiple ways that he could perform certain effects so that even if somebody thought they figured one way out, he could actually do it another way. So there's a lot that goes into that.

[Pete Holmes]

Do you have stories like that? Let me. Let me prime you with this. I used to do David Blaine's name a number between 1 and 50 odd numbers, and sometimes they'd say, you mean like this? And you go, yeah. And you'd have to adapt. Those are my favorite magic stories is where, like, something goes wrong.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you have to, like, has that happened to you?

[Jonathan Scott]

You'll get people sometimes who will intentionally try and throw you off or ruin it. It was funny because not. Not in necessarily in a malicious way, but I was working with. I don't know if I'm allowed to say. I don't know if it's been announced for ciou who this celebrity was, but huge celebrity. She's incredibly talented and award winning. Anyway, so turns out in. In the scene I'm doing with her, I'm just performing a really simple kid's trick, like a vanishing coin kind of a thing. And she aggressively grabs my arm and says, I know, it's in this other hand. And I was like, oh, was it Sarah Silverman? No, no.

[Pete Holmes]

Because one time my friend who's also a magician, was doing magic for Sarah, and she was. I was deeply embarrassed that she kept going like, oh, so you can make me take that? Like, she was. She was being funny, but I was like, stop.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, no, this was. It was. She was still being sweet about it, and she thought it was. And it was funny in the scene that we were doing. But there's some people who. I remember, magicians, they don't want to be tricked. They did. A lot of magicians didn't want to perform on Letterman because Letterman would famously ruin it. Yeah. And so it's. For me, I would never ruin someone's effect. But. But I can appreciate when somebody is really, really skilled and when somebody's doing something like that's. Why the kids always want me to teach them magic tricks. This is why kids are the worst. Because you show them something and they immediately go and perform it for somebody badly. And then right after they finish. You want me to tell you how it was done?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. And like, so.

[Pete Holmes]

No. This is me and Leela.

[Jonathan Scott]

You gotta learn.

[Pete Holmes]

We've been doing fake thumb stuff, which can be. Some of the fake thumb magic is actually.

[Jonathan Scott]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I think I convinced everybody I worked with that I was a demon. Because I would make cigarettes disappear. Lit cigarettes.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And because I walked around with a fake thumb. Because I'm a dork, but I also looked like a fucking wizard.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It was the best.

[Jonathan Scott]

Use a fake. Fake pinky for her. You just take the pinky and you just push it into your hand.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes, yes, yes. Everyone does thumb. You do pinky.

[Jonathan Scott]

I do pinky.

[Pete Holmes]

That's very good. Yeah. Leela. I hope she's into magic because it teaches you how to follow a recipe. I don't mean so she can cook. It just helps your brain.

[Jonathan Scott]

No, magic is great. And it's also. It's an interesting thing, I think, when kids start to. And I remember myself. I learned from the Tarbell Book of Magic. There was no Internet when I was learning magic. It was all me, too. I got books from the library. Yeah. And it's very hard to learn visual art. Figure one, words. Yeah, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Now you can just go online.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. But the. So you would learn and you would practice and practice and you realize that the better you got, the more impressive the reactions were. And. Yeah, I think it's a fun, healthy thing.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. But also to get interested in trains you to slow your heart rate. Like the Witcher. Like, you have to like. Nothing jacks your adrenaline. My adrenaline. I go on stage. I'm pretty. I'm very calm. I feel very comfortable. My heart rate definitely goes up because I like going on.

[Jonathan Scott]

Someone's jacking your.

[Pete Holmes]

Someone's jacking my adrenaline. I named my dick Adrenaline. And. But if you want me to do a magic trick, my hands will shake. Yeah, I can't. I haven't yet learned. That's why it's so cool that David Blaine is so, like. Do you want me to like. Because he. He's so low.

[Jonathan Scott]

Well, and that's. That's his Persona as well, is not having, like, any emotion at all. He's got to be one of the most talented manipulators of all time. Prestidigitation is next level.

[Pete Holmes]

What is it called?

[Jonathan Scott]

The pre.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't believe I'm blanking on it. I used to practice it all the time. It's called the double. His double lift is called the press off that you just apply just enough pressure so you're lifting two cards instead of one. But it's the most natural. He flips it on this part of his hand.

[Jonathan Scott]

You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah. Because it's dope.

[Pete Holmes]

I think he. I don't know if he made it up. Double lift. Press off, I think is what it's called.

[Jonathan Scott]

There's. Yeah. I mean, that's why you're supposed to practice something so much. Even to this day. There are certain routines that I do that I've been doing since I was 8 years old.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

And.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's in there.

[Jonathan Scott]

It's natural. Like, you. Nobody, even if they're a magician, like, you can't tell. And the problem is, I'm so busy in other aspects that I don't really get to create. There's. I have illusions that I actually designed and never perform just because I got so busy doing construction and Property Brothers and. 20,000 shows.

[Pete Holmes]

20,000 shows.

[Jonathan Scott]

But I do miss magic.

[Pete Holmes]

How do you do your double up? You go from the back.

[Jonathan Scott]

I have a number of different ways. I'm not gonna tell you how I do all these things. I got. I got multiple. I got multitudes of manipulation.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm very impressed. I loved it.

[Jonathan Scott]

And I'm not gonna acronym it the. But when somebody does a bad double lift, it's. Or triple lift.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, my favorite trick to do has a triple lift in it, but it also has a moment where it's a David Blaine trick where you're holding a card, and if they do flip it over, it is what you said it is. Which is one of my favorite. It's like built in the doubt. Allowance is high. Well, you know, if they go really? And it is. And then you're like, you.

[Jonathan Scott]

I love it.

[Pete Holmes]

I love it.

[Jonathan Scott]

Always plan on the lowest common denominator.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

There's an. There's a moment later in the trick where if they did the same thing.

[Jonathan Scott]

It would ruin everything. But they've already learned.

[Pete Holmes]

They've already learned to shut the fuck up and just be delighted.

[Jonathan Scott]

Damn it. Part of being a good magician is making sure you can pick the right participants.

[Pete Holmes]

That's brilliant. I love that.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. It's the same with hypnotists. Like, I did a little bit of hypnotism. Not much because I actually met a guy whose name was Something Sterling and My middle name Silver. And we were like, this could be great. We could do a show with magic and hypnotism called Sterling Silver. Never happened. But he was teaching me some stuff, and I thought it was so fascinating. But one of the things is when you're looking at your audience, everybody has the ability to be hypnotized. And it's almost like playing along, but just subconsciously. You're kind of, like, just okay with the suggestions that they're giving, and you kind of do it. But there are certain people who, if you do not want to be hypnotized, you cannot be hypnotized. It will not happen. It will not work.

[Pete Holmes]

There's a firewall.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. And so you have to be good at who you're sussing out. That's right. Same with a magician. There are some people who, you know, magic is not wizardry. It's the art of tricking people. That's all it is.

[Pete Holmes]

So you want to find a trickable person.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. Or somebody who's just okay playing along, who's sort of sweet and innocent, and they're okay playing along because you're putting.

[Pete Holmes]

On a great show or they're already hypnotized. I always forget his name. I always have you look it up.

[Jonathan Scott]

Darren Chris.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. You know who it is. He has the Netflix special where he heals people, but it's not real. Yeah, I love him. He's a. He's an ardent atheist. Anyway, he does a trick. He opens a special. It's a wide shot. He's in the streets of London, and he just goes up to somebody there. But it's key that they're like Darren Brown. The key is. And this isn't taking anything away from him, but to your point, he's finding someone who's walking to work, so they're, like, doing something by rote, and they're already in kind of a susceptible place, and he gets them to give him their cell phone in their wallet just by saying, like, he asks for directions. And then he goes, and you'll give me your cell phone? I can have your cell phone. And. And can I have your wallet, too?

[Jonathan Scott]

Because.

[Pete Holmes]

And he gives both of them and he walks away. And it's incredible. And, you know. And you know, it's real. It's fucking insane.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah. Nobody's getting my wallet or my cell phone.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it's true.

[Jonathan Scott]

It's true.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I've also been hypnotized. I went to a hypnotherapist for a.

[Jonathan Scott]

Long time, and I loved Her.

[Pete Holmes]

I still love her.

[Jonathan Scott]

She hypnotized you to love her.

[Pete Holmes]

I know she was always planting, but you remember everything that happens. You're just like, in a certain. You allow yourself enter into a state. But you know what would happen when I would be hypnotized is my arms would levitate. And she said that that was normal. Like, because you're like. You're surrendering so much, you almost, like, lose track of your body, and you're.

[Jonathan Scott]

Just like, what do I do with my hands?

[Pete Holmes]

What do I do with my hands? Do you have any thoughts on the meaning of life?

[Jonathan Scott]

Just real quick, before we go. The meaning. I mean, my whole thought is, the meaning of life is to. Is to live it. And I don't know what people are planning for. I'll live it in the future. Or they're dwelling on. Oh, I didn't live it right in the past. Yeah. Guess what? Right now. Live it right now.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

Don't save up your whole life to accidentally have something happen and you never get to enjoy anything.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Or I'll be happy once I get to the beach. Be happy on the plane.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, totally fine. Be happy. All that's why I feel like most people take everything right now. Everyone seems poised to fight about everything. I'm like, I think we have a lot more similarities than we think we do, but we sure could, you know, do well with a conversation. I'm okay. I think it was Larry King that said, if I only ever spoke to people with the same opinion as me, I'd never learn anything. Yeah, it's true. Let's just take it easy a little. Lighten up a little.

[Pete Holmes]

I completely agree. Any feelings about God or the creation or anything, what's going on?

[Jonathan Scott]

I mean, for me, you talk to so many people who have so many passionate opinions about everything out there. I have no problem with how somebody wants to live their life, how they want to worship, who they want to worship, as long as it's done in a way that doesn't infringe on the rights of others. And, you know, for me, I love. I mean, I grew up Presbyterian, and, you know, I believe. I don't necessarily think people have to go into a building to show their faith. You know, people can pursue their religion and their faith in different ways. But I do believe that, you know, that I'd like to believe that there's something more than what we are and what we're experiencing right now. Who knows what that is?

[Pete Holmes]

But. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You made me think of the quote. It's Anyone can go to church. The trick is to never leave it.

[Jonathan Scott]

Sort of. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's true. Like you, you find that so many people that get so obsessed about something that was told to them by a human.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

In a building.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

And they maybe forget what the overarching idea was of a certain practice. And so that's why, you know, you look at a lot of companies, a lot of corporations that have basically weaponized religion to try and convince people to do something, vote a certain way, do something a certain way. I'm like, I don't trust those people. And so I hate, you know, I did a lot of fighting when it comes to renewable energy and getting people to understand what's actually happening in energy. And it's pretty scary. I did a documentary on PBS and it's won a bunch of awards, but it was called Jonathan Scott's Power Trip. And the thing that I discovered is it's so blatant these days that these disinformation campaigns and it's so unhealthy. It does not help people, it hurts people. And these companies just keep getting richer by doing it. And so for me, that's the real problem I have when it comes to religion is that these outside influences have realized they can use people's faith.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Jonathan Scott]

To co opt. Go. Go after their agenda. So.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

Yeah, I don't like that.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I like, I. I like your style. I like your moves.

[Jonathan Scott]

Foot touch to finish it off.

[Pete Holmes]

Who's bigger?

[Jonathan Scott]

You're bigger. You're wearing like those flared out bottom shoes.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

This is because you have to take it off.

[Pete Holmes]

And then with a zip.

[Jonathan Scott]

Here we go. Now take it off. Are you 13?

[Pete Holmes]

14.

[Jonathan Scott]

13. Oh, we're exactly the same. Oh, no. Sweet. Sorry, bro. Oh, man.

[Pete Holmes]

Not sorry, bro. But we could have. This is a real pleasure, my friend.

[Jonathan Scott]

Dude, thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

Would you say keep it crispy? It's how we end.

[Jonathan Scott]

Keep it crispy.

[Pete Holmes]

He just did it. Oh, and these are for you, the first person you have similar hair to me. Modern mammals get it Magic.

[Jonathan Scott]

Mine. I think you're giving me your shoe.

[Pete Holmes]

No, not my shoes. Those are for you.

[Jonathan Scott]

Thank you so much.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Scott]

All right.

[Pete Holmes]

Peace out.

[Jonathan Scott]

It.