Mary Elizabeth Kelly

Summary

Podcast Summary: "You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes" - Episode Featuring Mary Elizabeth Kelly

Release Date: February 5, 2025

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1. Britishisms and Slang (03:23 - 07:56)

Discussion Highlights: Pete Holmes initiates a conversation on the rich variety of British slang used to dismiss or question the validity of statements. Mary Elizabeth Kelly and Pete explore phrases like "Are you mad?", "Are you mental?", and the quintessentially British "taking the piss."

Notable Quotes:

• Pete Holmes [03:23]: "Have you noticed how many ways British people have to say something's not real or daft?"
• Mary Elizabeth Kelly [07:47]: “In British slang, there are several humorous and colloquial ways to say someone is pregnant. 'Up the duff,' 'bun in the oven,' and 'in the family way.'”

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2. Relationships and Expressing Love (07:56 - 16:00)

Discussion Highlights: Mary delves into the dynamics of expressing love within her relationship. She shares an anecdote about telling her boyfriend "I love you" prematurely and the humorous idea of writing it on his back. The conversation highlights the balance between genuine emotion and playful communication.

Notable Quotes:

• Mary Elizabeth Kelly [04:16]: "I was sort of like, I feel a certain way about you, but I don't know if I should say it."
• Pete Holmes [08:25]: "You're having pud for two."
• Mary Elizabeth Kelly [17:16]: "What brings me joy? What inspires me? Exactly. And then I do that thing and I post it and I just don't look at it. I'm just like, post it. I post and ghost."

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3. Internet and Content Creation (16:00 - 39:00)

Discussion Highlights: The conversation shifts to the influence of the Internet on content creation. Mary discusses her journey from traditional acting and improv to leveraging platforms like Instagram and TikTok to share her comedic impressions and accents. They examine the unpredictability of online algorithms, the challenge of maintaining originality, and the impact of viral content on creative freedom.

Notable Quotes:

• Mary Elizabeth Kelly [16:21]: "What do I think is funny? I post and ghost."
• Pete Holmes [23:03]: "There's a beauty to that too."
• Mary Elizabeth Kelly [26:43]: "I have trouble with lack of control. I think that's a common thing."

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4. Impressions and Acting Techniques (39:00 - 60:00)

Discussion Highlights: Mary and Pete delve into the art of doing impressions. Mary shares her experiences with various celebrity impressions, the technical aspects of mimicking voices, and the emotional investment required to perform accurately. They discuss the difference between subtle mimicry and exaggerated caricatures, and the personal satisfaction derived from nailing a perfect impression.

Notable Quotes:

• Mary Elizabeth Kelly [73:10]: "I love Emma Thompson. I love her."
• Pete Holmes [84:07]: "Mouth acting really feels like a magic trick."
• Mary Elizabeth Kelly [75:10]: "I love that style, and I think there's such a place for it because it's so funny a lot of the time."

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5. Personal Stories: Ghost Experience (112:37 - 121:00)

Discussion Highlights: In a deeply personal segment, Mary recounts an eerie experience where she believes she encountered a ghost from her past life during a hungover episode in her old New York apartment. She describes seeing a woman in Civil War attire in the mirror, whom she feels was watching over her. This story intertwines with her family's history and her mother's Civil War research, adding layers to her belief in past lives.

Notable Quotes:

• Mary Elizabeth Kelly [112:37]: "I have always felt that in a past life, I died on the battlefield. The Civil War battlefield."
• Mary Elizabeth Kelly [113:33]: "It's my Civil War ghost."
• Pete Holmes [115:31]: "I'm Calhoun. And that's my daughter. And I was like, six. She's watching over me."

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6. Parenting and Comedy (60:00 - 88:00)

Discussion Highlights: The topic shifts to the intersection of parenting and comedy. Mary and Pete discuss the challenges of creating humor around sensitive subjects like toxic family dynamics and postpartum experiences. They explore how the Internet serves as both a platform for sharing relatable comedic content and a space where parenting anecdotes can be misunderstood or scrutinized.

Notable Quotes:

• Pete Holmes [85:08]: "Don't get upset hearing something you already knew."
• Mary Elizabeth Kelly [86:14]: "I have always felt like I did die in the Civil War in a past life."
• Mary Elizabeth Kelly [87:57]: "There's this person on Tick Tock... and everybody in the comments is like, it's a miracle. Oh, my God, this is so incredible."

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7. Final Thoughts and Closing (88:00 - End)

Discussion Highlights: As the episode winds down, Mary and Pete reflect on the creative process, the importance of authenticity in comedy, and the future of online content creation. They share light-hearted banter, touching on pop culture references and personal anecdotes, bringing a sense of camaraderie and mutual respect to the close of the episode.

Notable Quotes:

• Mary Elizabeth Kelly [99:20]: "Keep it crispy."
• Pete Holmes [112:08]: "What is this? Nobody likes this story. But you know what?"

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Conclusion

This episode of "You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes" offers an insightful and entertaining discussion with Mary Elizabeth Kelly, covering her journey through acting and online content creation, the nuances of British slang, personal ghostly experiences, and the delicate balance of parenting within comedy. Through candid conversations and shared humor, Mary provides listeners with a comprehensive look into her creative process and personal life, making it a must-listen for fans seeking depth and relatability in their favorite podcast.

Transcript

[A]

You made it with. You made it with.

[B]

You made it with.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you made it with weird. Yes, you did.

[B]

You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

[A]

What's happening, weirdos? This is a fun one, a silly one, a special one. This is Mary Elizabeth Kelly, who I discovered scrolling on the gram. And I saw. I'm actually going to show you the reel that I saw that I watched maybe 17 times in a row, crying with laughter. This is the real. This is what introduced me to actor, writer, comedian, improviser and all around delight, Mary Elizabeth Kelly. Let's play it real quick.

[B]

Just noticed you haven't really done the dishes in a while. Just like been pretty busy. I ain't your mama, so get to scrubbing. So it's just starting to smell. Have you met Karen's boyfriend yet? Yeah, bit of an ass. He's quite mean to me.

[A]

So did you end up going to yoga this morning or.

[B]

I started too, and then I came back home because I. How you say, bathroom emergency? Do you haven't paid me back for dinner? I don't think I owe you money for dinner. You owe me 40 quid, milord.

[A]

What?

[B]

Just 40. I paid. It was 80. So if you pay half.

[A]

What about your drink?

[B]

I have a boyfriend, so. Yeah, okay. He's a New York City cop. You better be careful. Oh, pardon me. I think you've got a wee booker up your nose right there. Down to the left a little bit.

[A]

Honey, we have nine Amazon packages at the door.

[B]

That's weird. I didn't. I didn't do that. Who did that? I don't know.

[A]

Not me.

[B]

Yeah, I did that. Sort of.

[A]

Okay, so I saw that. I reached out. She came on the pod. I'm so glad. She's also been on Master of None. She's been on American Dad. She was on. I had it right here. Where is it, Barry? That was the third one. Yeah, Barry. So she's acting, she's writing, she's producing. She's incredible. So talented, so fun and I'm so glad you guys are here for our conversation. Only one quick thing to plug up top before we jump right in, which are my tour dates. If you're hearing this the day it comes out. I'm going to be in Phoenix this weekend, February 7th and 8th. Go to PeteHomes.com for tickets, followed by my show at Largo on February 15th. Then I'm coming to Vancouver. We added a second show in Vancouver. Thank you, my Canadian weirdos. On February 21st. The dates after that are Atlantic City, New Jersey. Austin, Texas, St. Louis, Missouri, Nashville, Tennessee, and Royal Oak, Michigan. Get tickets. All of those. I promise, if you saw me last time I was in your town, it'll be a different hour. And I'm really excited about my new stuff, so I hope you like it as much as I do. In the meantime, enjoy. Mary Elizabeth. This is such a fun one. Glad you're here. Check it out. Get into it.

[B]

Oh, we're starting. Okay. From the moment you walk in, I guess.

[A]

Here, let me help you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Aren't these great?

[B]

It's a. Yeah, it's a matcha.

[A]

Keeps it hot, doesn't it?

[B]

Keeps it quite hot, actually. Yeah.

[A]

I'll do my level best to keep it hot.

[B]

Okay. My favorite level best.

[A]

Do my level best.

[B]

I love Britishisms.

[A]

Britishism.

[B]

I wish I was British.

[A]

Have you noticed? First of all, hello and welcome.

[B]

Hello. Thank you. Thanks.

[A]

Have you noticed how many ways British people have to say something's not real or daft?

[B]

Are you mad? Are you mental? Yeah.

[A]

Are you winding me up? Are you taking the piss?

[B]

That. Taking the piss?

[A]

They have so many.

[B]

I can't believe.

[A]

Wait, is this real?

[B]

Yeah, they can't believe anything. I don't know. Maybe because skeptical stuff's gone down over.

[A]

Well, because a lot of people have left.

[B]

Yeah, we left Brexit.

[A]

Oh, well, I didn't mean Brexit. I meant the original Brexit, which was us.

[B]

Yeah, we did leave.

[A]

I call Brexit Brexit, too.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because we left the squeak. Elvis.

[B]

Yes. Cheers.

[A]

So, mary and Elizabeth 1. You're so funny.

[B]

Thank you. So are you.

[A]

Get the fuck out. What if I only said it that you would say it.

[B]

Some people do that.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

Some people do. I love you, too. Yeah. Oh, we're in it now.

[A]

Tell me the story of when you told your. Your male partner the first. He said, I love you.

[B]

Okay. He is very, like, private, personal person, and I'm not. He's a ppp. A triple P, if you could believe it. And I am not. Yeah, you're out there if you can tell. Flying the freak from my personality.

[A]

Having Instagram lunches with other.

[B]

Exactly. Yeah, I'm doing that.

[A]

You do that.

[B]

I don't do the food, but I'll do the people. I'll post the people.

[A]

Post the peep.

[B]

I'll post the peep. I don't post the food. I'm not a food blogger. But I'm out there.

[A]

You're out in the mix.

[B]

And I'm an emotional. I'm an emotional person. And So I was saying I love you to him a lot.

[A]

Right away already.

[B]

I was just sort of like.

[A]

So you said it first.

[B]

Well, I would go, I feel a certain way about you, but I don't know if I should say it. And he's like, don't say it until you mean it. And I'd be like, I'd, like, write it on his back. Wait.

[A]

This is kind of what I wanted.

[B]

It's actually very cute.

[A]

This is kind of what I wanted to do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not really, though. Well, with full respect to what you do, I'm like, okay, can we. We come up with a funny.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your account.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because this seems in your wheelhouse, you know, when you don't want to say I love you. I can see people sharing this.

[B]

Write it down, write it down, write it down.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

We'll copyright it now.

[A]

All for you, obviously. But, like, you need to be cranking that content.

[B]

I. Yeah, it's true.

[A]

My wedding ring.

[B]

Oh. Oh, my God. What does that.

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

That mean. Can I take my sweater off when I'm cold?

[A]

My fingers.

[B]

Oh, that happens.

[A]

And I'm less committed to my wife.

[B]

It can tell.

[A]

It's really sweet.

[B]

When it's cold out. You're less committed to your wife when I'm cold.

[A]

I'm in the mix.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

My favorite club, Ice Bar.

[B]

I like to go there and meet women, me.

[A]

And what I do is I meet.

[B]

Women at the ice bar. Because your ring just slides right off.

[A]

It slides right off.

[B]

I'm having the opposite problem with, you know, pregnancy.

[A]

Yeah, well, that's what we're gonna say is you're. You're swole.

[B]

I'm swollen.

[A]

How do you get so swole, bro?

[B]

Working.

[A]

Well, wait, we're both add. And I'm loving it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, but you would write I love you on his back.

[B]

Yeah, I would write I love you on his back.

[A]

Then we're not gonna forget pregnant.

[B]

No, no, no. We're not gonna forget how pregnant.

[A]

We have a visual cue. Very subtle one.

[B]

A subtle visual cue.

[A]

Here's how to be a class act as a gentleman. I'm sorry, are you pregnant? Tell your body are you pregnant? Clearly the baby's healthy. But you are not showing.

[B]

No.

[A]

Well, are you meant to.

[B]

I meant, are you daft?

[A]

Are you winding me up?

[B]

You know what they say. Oh, gosh. What do they say in England when you are pregnant?

[A]

In the oven?

[B]

They. Well, I'll remember it, but it's something stupid.

[A]

Yes. Chat. GPT.

[B]

Yeah, probably. What do they Say, when do you have. Do you have it?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Easily.

[A]

It installed itself on all of our phones when we weren't looking. Jk. But it's so fun.

[B]

I wouldn't be surprised.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is a. How do British people say colloquially, oh, my goodness, you're pregnant? Do they have, like, funny ways in Britain to say looks like you're pregnant?

[B]

That was very specific.

[A]

I know she doesn't mind. It's not like Google.

[B]

In British slang, there are several humorous and colloquial ways to say someone is pregnant. She's British. Some common expressions include up the duff. A cheeky and informal way to say someone is pregnant, often implying a bit of surprise. In the pudding club, an old fashioned term that humorously likens pregnancy to a pudding, reflecting the shape of a pregnancy. Pregnant belly. Bun in the oven. A widely used metaphor comparing a baby in the womb to a bun baking in an oven. In the family way. A more refined somewhat.

[A]

Are you in the family way? That's the one I want.

[B]

The Queen family way. That's the nice one. Impolite. But is often used in casual joking. Okay, okay.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

These phrases add a playful or human. All right, okay.

[A]

We don't need you. We don't need your take. We don't need your take.

[B]

It's funny. She kind of had a bit of a smile when she was saying that.

[A]

I'm telling you, I'm not afraid anymore. I spent a lot of time being afraid of it and now I'm like, I think it's gonna be good for you. Just a. Okay, listen to her.

[B]

This is the thing. We don't have much of a choice at this point.

[A]

Yield to it.

[B]

But. But the. Up the. What did it up the. Yeah. What was the first one up the duff sound? Up the duff. Yeah, it is up the duff in the pudding club.

[A]

You in the pudding? Are you in the pudding club?

[B]

I'm in the pudding.

[A]

What should we have for pud?

[B]

I'm. I'm way deep into the pudding club. You're not turning down.

[A]

You're having pud for two.

[B]

I'm having pud for two.

[A]

You're in the fair. The family way is the family way.

[B]

I think I was thinking of. They say that you fall pregnant. That you don't. Because that you're not like, oh, I became pregnant or I got pregnant. They're like. And then I fell pregnant. Which feels like an illness.

[A]

I fell ill. Yeah. I took to pregnancy anyway. Could you do the Queen? I'm not saying the Queen is One of your impressions. But just we're in the crown. We're in the later seasons.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You just have to be very still.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Not putting you on the spot. I'm just saying, being a very still old woman with a little handshake.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

I'm pregnant.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you just say, I see you in the family way. That's. It's just for fun. It's just a softball. It's going to be so easy. Ready? And action.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Hello, Mom.

[B]

Are you in the family way? In the family way.

[A]

She couldn't wait to say it.

[B]

I couldn't wait to say it. The queen.

[A]

Wait to say it.

[B]

The queen loves to. I feel like she was a little bit judgmental probably. Well, extremely.

[A]

Wouldn't you be?

[B]

Well, the royals are famously.

[A]

Are they?

[B]

I think Meghan Markle's not there anymore because.

[A]

Oh, she blow the whistle. They would whistle, mate.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Never cared about the royals.

[B]

I really don't either, weirdly, as. Even though I'm kind of an Anglophile.

[A]

You have care about the royal's face.

[B]

But what? Because I'm honestly, I don't know what.

[A]

I mean by that. Yeah. You just look like a white lady.

[B]

You know, my mom really loves the. You know what? My mom and her generation love the royals because of Princess Diana.

[A]

Right. And it was pre Internet.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's all you had.

[B]

She's like one of us now.

[A]

You have like, drones in New Jersey.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Before we knew about allegedly. Are they gone?

[B]

Well, no, I'm just saying. Allegedly drones.

[A]

Oh, right.

[B]

They say. Well, I don't know.

[A]

Could be. Could be something else.

[B]

Could be something else.

[A]

Could. Do you do Larry David?

[B]

Pretty. I've not done Larry David. He's a bit out of my wheelhouse. You know what I mean? But I could. Hey.

[A]

I mean, hey.

[B]

I don't say no.

[A]

How do you feel about doing Denzel as a white woman? Would you do that?

[B]

I'm not doing that.

[A]

I'm not gonna do it.

[B]

No.

[A]

I did him on stage the other night and I was like, I. Backing away because he's a black man. But then I was like, it's not like I'm just doing a. Like a stereotypical voice. I'm doing Denzel.

[B]

Well, and if. And. And I do have to say it was very something. I. I had this idea for a video and then someone did it, and I was like, thank God someone did it. But it was basically any movie he's in. He's Gladiator.

[A]

I am never on the gram.

[B]

Did you see this Video.

[A]

I saw this video when it's like, go into Rome.

[B]

Right. Like, fully British. Whatever, people. Yeah.

[A]

We're gonna go.

[B]

Right.

[A]

All right. All right. Rome wants building today. Okay.

[B]

All right. And I thought that was really. I was like that. It hit it on the head.

[A]

Well, look, we're all over the place. We're not going to forget pregnant. We're not going to forget family way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Let's talk a little bit, if you don't mind.

[B]

No.

[A]

With an older fella.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Catch me up on the Internet. I'm just kidding. What? I. I really am. I keep the. Who cares?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

When I've gone into the portal where I saw you.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I'm so struck with what the Internet is.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Like, I'm really in awe of it. I'm not just an Andy Rooney going, like, it's melting our brains. I have that. But then I also. Because I go in there so infrequently. Because it's like sugar for me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I really could be like, it's addictive. Oh. I could see myself really getting into this. So I'm like, I'm just gonna keep it off my phone. I install it.

[B]

That's really smart.

[A]

I know.

[B]

You gotta.

[A]

And yet I post, so don't feel judged. I'm out there posting, so don't feel like I'm saying this is a bad thing. People are on it. You gotta get the word out. I love it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And here's the unexpected thing. So it's not just evil. Sometimes I'm blown away. Away Present, Present company in the till.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[A]

I was watching your video about using an accent to get out of uncomfortable situations.

[B]

Sure. Sure.

[A]

Mary Liz. I laugh. I was alone in a hotel room cackling like nothing. Like, you put on, like. I love the Simpsons. You put on an episode of the Simpsons. You're laughing.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But sometimes you get lulled into this hypnotic state when you're watching stories. Yes.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[A]

And then one hits you. And it really, like, hit is the word. Like shocks you. It surprises you. And I'm watching shit. Like, that kind of helps. That one kind of sucked. That one's not good. That one's just interesting. And all of a sudden. And this is the compliment to you, but I also wanted just your take on the whole thing. Like grade A, like, AAA comedy. Like, that's as good as it gets.

[B]

That's so nice.

[A]

I really felt that way about your video.

[B]

That's so nice.

[A]

And I felt. I feel that way about. Well, not to Diminish the compliment. So I won't say it's triple A, but the gladiator one, I was also like, that's ready to go.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That's. I could do that on stage tonight, and it would murder. This guy did it in his living room. And that doesn't take away from it. But I'm like.

[B]

But that's the beauty of the Internet. It's like you can have this thought and then just make a video and just put it on the Internet, and then people can consume it and it's there.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

And, like. Right. I mean, I love stand up, and I've always admired stand up. I could. I have tried and not been able to do it for just it the way my. I've always done improv and whatever. And for whatever reason, that feels easier for me. But stand up. Right. It's like you. It's like you work at these jokes, and you have to do it in person in front of people. And, like, you get the immediate feedback of the laughter or not laughter or whatever. But the Internet's interesting in that way, in that you kind of just have to be like, okay, I think this is funny. I guess I'm just gonna post it. We'll see if other people like it. Like, you don't really get to workshop things.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But there's a beauty to that too.

[A]

There's an upside and a downside to that. There's less refinement.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's my old man hat.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

See the craftsman that, like, knows how to make a fucking pair of clogs.

[B]

Yeah. Right.

[A]

As much. But I'll tell you, there are jokes that I do and I love. They're my favorite jokes. And they're. They're usually very silly.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And then you take them to a weekend at a club. Now you're doing five shows. You do it five times. By the fifth show, that joke is dead.

[B]

Yeah. It's true.

[A]

Because it didn't work. You lost your confidence. It's not fresh to you anymore. And it's like, it actually needed to be a short. It should have been a short. It should have been more like a photograph than a performance. Like a moment.

[B]

But it's kind of nice that you get to, like, do that in real time. I don't know, like, that you get to do it in front of real human beings and see their react. Like. Well, yeah, that's something I miss about theater. And, like, I did theater all through high school and college, and I love the immediate feedback. I love which whereas, like, being on the Internet, I mean, there are some wonderful people like, that are watching and engaging and excited about things, and then there are people who. They're just on there to be mean, shit on you.

[A]

To project their pain onto you.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

And, like, tear you down. Yeah.

[B]

Like, people really are. Can be intense. But I've had more positive outcomes than negative.

[A]

I feel in this moment. I feel weird about that for you.

[B]

Thank you. Yeah. It was an adjustment, for sure, at the beginning.

[A]

What's your strategy? I didn't expect to talk about this, but I'm glad we are. So there's haters and just worse than haters. There's just, like, people being trolls.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, troll.

[A]

And how do you guard your creativity so this precious, like, flame.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How do you guard it against the overthinking that, like, oh, what are people going to say? Is that.

[B]

Oh, my God. It was an issue at first, majorly, and it still creeps in from time to time. But, yeah, at the beginning it was like, how do I keep. Like, once you have a big viral video, you're like, oh, I need to keep this going. And how do I keep this? How do I make another video that's just as good and that people will like? And you start catering to the people in the comments. And while it's interesting and important to listen to those people at times, like, oh, that's funny. You should do this version. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's great. There are some people, you know, obviously they're negative and that gets in your head and you go, okay, well, then maybe I don't do that next time. Whatever. But I've started to just be like, what do I like?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

What do I think is funny?

[A]

Please.

[B]

What brings me joy? What inspires me? Exactly. And then I do that thing and I post it and I just don't look at it. I'm just like, post it. I post and ghost.

[A]

Well, that's great.

[B]

I need to take. I haven't heard that.

[A]

I didn't make it up. I didn't make it up. Yeah. Do you want to pull your shirt down? I don't care. It's just because it's on the Internet. We're talking about the Internet. And I was like, yeah, I know. I've got an episode where my belly's out. And people made. It was actually I saw the video and whoever made it, I thought it was very nice. It was like a funny. I didn't feel made fun of.

[B]

But, yeah. Well, that's good.

[A]

Pete's. Belly's out.

[B]

Well, right. And then. And then, you know, the next time you're doing it, you're like, is everything. You know.

[A]

Yeah, it's on. I don't think I would have noticed your belly was out except that. Well, first of all, you're pregnant, so it changes your.

[B]

It does change that. It's really like, the baby's out.

[A]

The baby's out.

[B]

You know, the baby's out.

[A]

Shouldn't we let it out?

[B]

We should. Well, not yet.

[A]

Not yet.

[B]

It needs some time.

[A]

It's not Gotta cook. It's the family way.

[B]

It's the. And I'm up the duff, so.

[A]

Okay. I could talk about this in the Pudding.

[B]

Pudding Club.

[A]

In the Pudding Club.

[B]

I love pudding.

[A]

I could talk about this endlessly because it's a big topic. It's like, how much ownership does the audience have over an idea? So let's take the idea that we had.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you wanted to say I love you to your boyfriend, but you know, it's too soon.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I really think you should make this video. Okay, two, what's the consideration that goes into that? Like, oh, well, guys will think it's weird. Or is there what's going. What's in your process?

[B]

Well, first I go, okay, let me just make sure that, like, no one has done this before because that the hand trembling.

[A]

Google.

[B]

Yes. Where you're like, you know what? Like, there are plenty of times when I'm like, oh, that's a fun idea. And I search it on TikTok or Instagram or whatever and someone's done it already and I'm like, God bless. Have a good time. Great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, with this, with this video where I was like, oh, the accents. To, you know, avoid conflict or whatever. My friend Natalie, corporate Natalie, on. She's on TikTok and Instagram, had made a video that was like singing to, like, get her roommate to do things. Like she, you know, be like, you haven't done the dishes. Can you please help me with the dishes? You know, like, break. Softening the blow with a song.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was like, I do that, but not with singing. I do it with accents.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And so, you know, when they're like, okay, I'm going to make this video, I need to make sure no one's done this. Like, no one's, like, done the, you know, no one's already been inspired by this video. Whatever. Got it. And then you give Natalie credit and you say, like, this was inspired by her, but it's different. And of course, there are people who.

[A]

Are like, they'll still say you ripped it off.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh, dude, I don't. Again, I'm light on the Internet, but I did a bit about Internet security checks. Like, when it's like, prove you're not a robot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And Mulaney, I hadn't seen that special of. He did. One of those people are like, should have just brought out a boombox and played his bet.

[B]

And I'm like.

[A]

Because the premise is the same.

[B]

Like, we're so different from.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

I know.

[A]

You don't know that. I'm also. Look, I'm not even getting mad. I'm just saying I also live in a world where I see those captcha tests.

[B]

See, that's the thing. I know. It's like, I think people are just cruisin for bruising.

[A]

They want to be bruising.

[B]

They want to. They want to be like, I see that. I see what's wrong with this. Like, I. Whatever. You know, because it makes them feel.

[A]

Or something smart and better than.

[B]

And important.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And look, we all want to feel that way, but.

[A]

No, that's really nice.

[B]

We all can just take a breath and.

[A]

You know, I think about this all the time. Like, you wear a jersey, and I. I wear my own types of jerseys. It's not literally a jersey, but, like a jersey or a vanity plate. We're always trying to say, like, the attributes of this thing are mine. Like, those are like Nikes. You're wearing Nikes. And you're like, right. I'm a just do it kind of guy.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And they go around, and we can't really fault them. You just want them to get a more nutritious meal.

[B]

Like, you can't get the big picture a little bit. Yeah. And like, the Internet.

[A]

The Internet is like a huge.

[B]

Right, exactly, exactly. And, like, the Internet's huge. It's a big, big place. And sometimes you miss things and. And, you know, if someone's like, hey, so and so already did this, I'm like, oh, okay, well, you know, here, watch this person's video. I guess these are similar or whatever. Or this is a coincidence. Whatever. It doesn't happen often because I do my due diligence. Like, I'm very intense about making sure that, you know, I haven't somehow missed something.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But the Internet's big, and some people do. I'm not discrediting. Some people do straight up rip off other videos. Like, word for word.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, that's so inspired by.

[A]

And it's like, so prevalent.

[B]

It's not.

[A]

It's prevalent.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's an issue. And there's. There's a credit issue.

[B]

Yes, that is absolutely true.

[A]

That I've talked about on other podcasts where probably on the same scroll I saw this, and I wish I could remember his name. Anyway, people post the audio from someone else's post.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

With other video. But it's only funny because of the audio. And then you're like, this person's a genius. And then you're like, but it wasn't.

[B]

It's not even your audio. I know that gets pretty freaky. But also at a certain. Like, that's been done to me before, where I've made a video and someone's made pretty much the exact same thing and no credit to me, whatever. And I'm just like, you know what? It's just. It is what it is like. And I have to just keep going in my lane and keep making stuff that I love and is fun for me. And I'm sorry.

[A]

I give. I've said this advice that was given to me a million times, but I think it applies here. So Conan O'Brien. Flex. Weird flex.

[B]

Name drop.

[A]

Oops. Drop my ring again. Oh, no, it's Conan's name. That was the dropping things letter.

[B]

The ring or the. The.

[A]

It was the ring. Is the O in O'Brien? I'd like to change it to that.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, cool.

[A]

They say in Britain, they say pennies dropped. Like you dropped a penny. Oh, penny's dropped.

[B]

Oh, I didn't know that. Wow. That's something you're teaching me about. Well, Britishisms.

[A]

Well, not to Brit splain.

[B]

Brit spline.

[A]

Are you Brit splaining this to me?

[B]

And they do Conan.

[A]

Of course I'm. Look, here's what you don't know. Sometimes you're mid mansplain, and you realize you're mansplaining and you're really.

[B]

Do you. Well, good for you. Because a lot of men don't know they're doing it at the time.

[A]

It just happened.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Lisa Gilroy did the podcast yesterday, and she was like, your mansplaining. And I was like, I am.

[B]

I love Lisa. I love her. Lisa, I love you.

[A]

In my defense, I was being an ass in the spirit of our convo. So it wasn't like Ernest.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Anyway, I was mansplaining sort of a bit.

[B]

Anyway, Conan O'Brien.

[A]

Conan O'Brien said to me, he goes. He thinks of show business, but in our case, we can include, obviously, the cacophony of Internet show business.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It's like. It's like a million people in a tiny room playing musical instruments. And he goes, all you can do is just hit your triangle and just keep hitting it.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

People are changing instruments. People are trying to play louder, solo, crazier. It's like, just keep hitting your triangle. Just be as consistent. That's what that guy does.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And don't worry about all the noise.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

He's like, eventually. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't really stick the linen. He goes, eventually, because you're being consistent. Someone will go, what is that dinging? I've heard for 10 years, I've heard it.

[B]

What is that annoying ding?

[A]

What is that annoying ding? Is something in the oven?

[B]

Finally, I'll pay attention. Is somebody up the duff?

[A]

Is a bun in?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There you go. So anyway, bringing it back, I'm gonna give you one that's, I hope, interesting.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because there's this. There's a part of me that's like, we can't be paralyzed with, has someone done it before? Meaning, take Seth MacFarlane. Right. Made family Guy.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Family Guy is its own thing. But when it started, everyone was just like, it's a Simpsons novel.

[B]

Sure, sure.

[A]

And I think he even would say, yeah, it was a Simpsons knockoff.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So there's an area for, like, empowered. Like. Yeah, but I deserve to take up space too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Meaning. I'll give you my example. My example is. And I didn't know this until after the fact, but the first Internet video, first Batman video we did was called Batman Vanishing. Who cares? I just was watching the video. I was like, what if he gets caught? It's the most obvious thing in the world. Batman's always sneaking away. What if he gets caught?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We just made it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I could have googled it. And had I googled it, I think it's one of the scary movies or, like, a Wayans Brothers movie where nobody cared, by the way.

[B]

Right.

[A]

This isn't a story where people, like, yelled at me for stealing away brothers bit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I might have found that. And I would have gone like, well, someone did it, and then I wouldn't.

[B]

And then you would have done it. Yeah.

[A]

10 other.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They're some of the greatest joys of my life. And I wouldn't gotten stopped.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There. I've told the story a million times, but, like, I can do it really fast. Gary Larson, who made the comic strip the Farce.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

He mailed out the Far side People have heard this. Everyone that listens to this podcast is like, Old Man Home, his Far side Story. I love this story, though. I want to hear your reaction.

[B]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

He mails out 50 cartoons to 10 newspapers in the area. He waits weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks. He doesn't hear shit. One Thursday, he's like, fuck it. I'm going to drive to Chicago. I'm going to pitch him in person. He drives to Chicago. He literally waits in the waiting room with his little comic portfolio. Waits and waits and waits. They finally see him, shows it to him. They go, these are great. We're gonna buy it. It's the fucking Far side. They didn't know that, but they're like, these are great. They buy it. He gets a deal. Drives home what's in his mailbox. Ten rejection letters from all the places he had mailed it to. He's like, if I had waited a week, I would have been so disheartened by the rejection that I wouldn't have driven to Chicago. So I'm like, that's what I'm saying is there's a time to drive to Chicago.

[B]

Sure, sure.

[A]

Cause every joke is kind of not saying, go out there stealing.

[B]

No, of course.

[A]

But still, like your version of the accent thing and the singing thing. Yeah, we're all riffing. There's only so many notes on the guitar, is what I'm.

[B]

Right. Right. Well. And I think it's finding the balance, you know, like, obviously between, you know, you're not. You don't want to be afraid of creating content for creating things that are, you know, somewhat similar or whatever or, you know, based off of something or. I think it's just honestly giving credit where credit is due. And really, even if it's. For me, sometimes I'm literally like. Even if it's just a. A hair similar, I'm like, also, look at this person's thing that they did. You know, this is also very funny. Whatever. And, you know. Right. But it is. It can be debilitating when you're like, oh, God. Well, what. Because it's mostly like, what will people say? Because I know I'm, you know, doing my due diligence, doing what I'm supposed to be doing. But, yeah, it's a. The Internet again. It's just like. It's a scary place. People can say whatever they want, whenever they want, however they want. Yeah. And with. Right. With, like, no picture behind their, you know, words. And so, yeah, it can be really intense. I mean, let's just say Therapy's helpful.

[A]

Oh, it comes up on the couch.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I mean, because it's like, I'm a. I am a person who, like, I have trouble with lack of control. I mean, who doesn't really. Like. I think that's a common thing, and I can be anxious and whatever. So kind of coming to terms with, like, I can't control what people say.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I don't want it to stop me from creating things that I think are fun and wonderful. Because for everybody, you know, crappy message. I get a message from, like, a new mom being like, I watch your videos when I'm breastfeeding at night, and I've had postpartum depression. It's the only thing that brings me joy. You know, stuff like that. And you're like, okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So this is legitimately, like, bringing actual joy to people. And I can't be.

[A]

That's what I mean. Like, what is the point? And the point is to, like, really make people laugh and express yourself.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So then the other thing I think that covers. I've not. Covers. Cover. Sounds like we're hiding. What smooths it over for me is when I made, like, take the Batman video, I was also making 3,000 other things, meaning I'm in the flow. I'm producing ideas. I'm not just a guy that saw a thing and then like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Speaking of cartoons, when I submitted cartoons to the New Yorker, you'd have to submit 10 a week, and they'd reject them every week if you went in with one, and sometimes some weird guy would come in off the street with one cartoon. It could be the best cartoon in the world. They wouldn't buy it. It could be the best cartoon in the world. They wouldn't buy it.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And that's kind of the thing. Like, yeah. If you steal one idea, you really look like a schmuck.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But if, like, every once in a while you're nudging up to something else that exists.

[B]

Yeah, well. And, you know, I think all you can do is just keep creating and keep making.

[A]

That's what I mean.

[B]

Yeah. More. More creative things and be like, you know, obviously, this. There's that. I mean, for me, at least, I do feel this sort of like, there's always this, like, kind of bubbling fountain of stuff that I'm excited about. Notes app full of ideas and stuff. So, yeah, it's not. It's not like I'm just like, ooh, goody. Like, let me. You know. But some people do do that. And Some people build huge platforms off of only just taking other people's stuff for audios or whatever.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, you know, it's always been there. Yeah, exactly. And it always will. It always will.

[A]

And in a way, the networks, that was what they were doing. You know what I mean?

[B]

No, that is true.

[A]

Like, that's the oldest idea in the book.

[B]

I know these. Well, that's working well. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Look at these weird pirates.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That don't have checkbooks.

[B]

Right.

[A]

They sleep all day.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Well, I get up early.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And I know how to sell advertising.

[B]

Exactly. Right. Literally. I know.

[A]

And I'll tell them that. They'll get exposure.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The oldest one in the book.

[B]

It is. Yeah. It's hard not to kind of like, you know, I'm sure people. Yeah. It's a tale as old as time, but song as old as still as old as song is old as rhyme. Beauty and the Beast rhyme.

[A]

Let me ask you this.

[B]

I know my Disney trivia 90s.

[A]

I know my weird myths about bestiality.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Not the first person to point that out. See, there it goes. Somebody's already done that. What if in the future, we're wearing goggles and it tells you if your riff has been done. I mean, and how many times it's been done.

[B]

The death of art.

[A]

The death of art. It's over. And you can. That's kind of like a weird black mirror. You can only say things that have never been said. So you end up saying things that are, like, incredibly weird.

[B]

Well, what is it in Garden State? When isn't she, like, do something no one's ever done before. I can't handle that Pixie Dream Girl energy.

[A]

I'm friends with Ol Zachy B. And I would tell him this to his face, that I had a big problem with that scene because. No, not that scene with people like her.

[B]

Oh, yeah. The Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

[A]

The Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

[B]

The trope.

[A]

Because what? I was screaming because I related more to Zacky B. And I was like, I wish to more than anything he had said in Garden State. She says, do something that's done that he had said me refusing to do that has never been done.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Like me saying, I don't want to do that.

[B]

You're flipping the script.

[A]

Yeah. And deal with that. Like, it's not. This isn't the only thing that's weird.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Like, this is also weird. Like. No, no, no. Like, feel how weird you feel.

[B]

I'm saying no to you.

[A]

That's fresh to Boundaries.

[B]

Ever heard of them?

[A]

Ever heard of them, Portman?

[B]

I barely have.

[A]

Neither have I. Founders family.

[B]

Irish Catholic. It's one of the few yes, ma'am.

[A]

Accents we can still do, kind of in like a demeaning way.

[B]

Which one? You know what I mean?

[A]

Like, you can still do that. That in Italian. I've already pointed this out. Oh, but you can still be like. It's still.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Maybe three more months.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. I went to Ireland recently and.

[A]

Ireland.

[B]

I went to Ireland recently.

[A]

Oh, good.

[B]

The. Thank you.

[A]

You do a good one.

[B]

I do. I.

[A]

Well, here's Glenn Hansard. Glenn Hansen. Ready? I do a one word. Glenn answered. We're gonna get to you, okay? Ireland. Don't worry. Here's my one word. Glen Hanser. Just say, I'd love to go out with you sometime. It has to be something like that.

[B]

I love to go out with you sometime.

[A]

Cool.

[B]

Cool. That's like, they say school. School. Yeah, school.

[A]

School.

[B]

How the heck do they.

[A]

We got a Katie.

[B]

Oh, cheers.

[A]

It's cool.

[B]

That's really exciting.

[A]

Okay. So you went to Ireland?

[B]

I went to Ireland. My sister got married in Ireland.

[A]

On the rolling hills.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Bad sisters. I'm like it. Really.

[B]

I love bad sisters. I love Sharon Horgan.

[A]

Me, too. I love her in my.

[B]

She's really. She's really something. Ashlyn B. I did a whole video on, like, Irish actors because I love them.

[A]

He's a delight.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

She's a delight.

[B]

You.

[A]

You've absolutely worked with it a couple times. I'm thinking, oh, we were at home alone together.

[B]

You went home alone together?

[A]

Look.

[B]

Cute.

[A]

No one saw it.

[B]

I did not.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

But I do love.

[A]

We all worked hard, and I loved everyone. That was. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But nobody saw it.

[B]

That's tough. It's. But, yeah. But you did it.

[A]

We did it.

[B]

You did it. And you can't be afraid.

[A]

Don't.

[B]

And you can't be afraid.

[A]

Don't be scared.

[B]

You can't be scared of making stuff like that. I love her. She's. She's a sweetie. Yeah. I love. I loved Ireland, and I love the people there. Anyway, I turned back on the ref.

[A]

Some people thought.

[B]

Plenty of people. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But, yes, Ireland's amazing. But, yeah. Some people. The. The accents vary so much throughout Ireland that sometimes you can get an accent like that. They say down in Cork, people kind of talk with a higher accent, so it's not. Yeah. I don't know if that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Particular phrase is something that they Say the hoi to toi.

[A]

Yeah, that sounds like.

[B]

Yeah, maybe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

It's like there's French people that definitely go. And I've heard. Ah. So I'm not going to do that one. One.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

I've heard also means I see like in Japanese. I heard that. I don't know if that's.

[B]

Oh, oh, oh.

[A]

And there's that easily Google it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But then it became like a stereotype and certainly.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Hey, stereotypes sometimes, you know, me andies.com stereotypes for 10 added to your bill.

[B]

Hashtag stereotypes.

[A]

So you went to Orland and you heard lots of different accents.

[B]

Yes. And it was amazing. I love to. I just. Yeah, I love accents. As we've, you know, as I'm sure you've come to realize. And I do. And you know what, Pete? I do that all day. No, I do. I use accents. Different accents all day. All different kinds of things.

[A]

Do you think for one second that I would laugh at that video just because there was funny voices in it? I was like, that video.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is what Non confrontational people.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. So again, Irish Catholic video. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, so you don't want to be wicked and you don't want to be mean and you don't want to be.

[B]

And you don't want to set a boundary.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. You don't want to be appropriate. You don't want to not be codependent.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

You are in charge of how other people feel.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

The story I like to tell. It's all my fault is once my dad was mad and I said like, this is what I would say to my daughter. And I said it to my dad. I go, dad, you're upset. That's okay. And he went, it's not okay. I was like, right, right. It's a different thing. Like if you were upset, I would say, mayor Liz, you're upset. That's okay.

[B]

Let's feel it.

[A]

I understand. Let's talk.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But he's like, no, right, same thing.

[B]

You pushed me the fuck off.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Make me better.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. I know. And that's. I know.

[A]

Make me better in real time.

[B]

Make me better.

[A]

What I need now.

[B]

I need it. I need everything from you, my child.

[A]

Did you watch Severance Obsessed? It's when the. The. They're doing the penance. Like, I am deep. That's what they want. I am deeply sorry. It is completely my fault.

[B]

Like that. That's like show up and that's what we're. And that's what I was taught as a child, Basically. Yeah.

[A]

You're a hundred percent in charge of how your parents feel.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can I tell you? Okay, I'm gonna give her credit. Her name is Milana. I can't say her last name.

[B]

Vine. Trub.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Love her.

[A]

She's my dear friend. I've never even tried to say her last name.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Vine. Trub.

[B]

I think that's how I say it. I'm too scared and I don't know her.

[A]

I'm too scared.

[B]

She.

[A]

I'm too scared to try.

[B]

Pop off in the comments. Tell us.

[A]

Pop off those comments and remember, MeUndies.com stereotypes10.

[B]

Yeah, great.

[A]

Milana, you get full credit for this. We're having coffee, and she goes, and I'm talking about how guilty I feel that I let. It wasn't this exactly. But I'll use it as an example how guilty I feel that I don't visit my parents more often. And she said, oh, she's so fierce. She goes, but calm.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She goes, can we stop saying guilt? She goes, guilt is when you do something that's against your own values. Like you betrayed your own values and you feel guilt. Let's start saying what it really is. Let's say I feel really codependent, that I know I'm letting my mother down, that I don't visit more often. And I was like, whoa.

[B]

Yeah, right. With my homies.

[A]

Yeah, I've done it. I stopped saying guilt.

[B]

You know what? That's. I think that could change my life.

[A]

Can I give you another one?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

For free. Because it seems like we have the same issue.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is unreal. It's a little bit.

[B]

Because I feel guilty all the time.

[A]

Tell me.

[B]

Yeah, just all the time about everything.

[A]

I'm gonna put this down. I'm just all jazzed up, and I want to hear you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You feel.

[B]

What's your second thing? What was your second advice?

[A]

And then we're gonna go to that.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Don't get upset hearing something you already knew. That's a big one. I wrote that on my mirror.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Don't get upset hearing something you already knew. Isn't that a game changer?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So what?

[B]

I feel myself tearing up.

[A]

I know, I know.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I look, I love my folks. When I call, I say out loud, don't get upset hearing something you already knew.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So somebody does responds or behaves, and you go, I already knew that.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

Same person.

[B]

Right. The insane person is like, yeah.

[A]

You're fighting the stream.

[B]

Yeah. It's like a. It's like an. Yeah. A tidal wave.

[A]

Yeah. I love that you got emotion.

[B]

I gotta. I got a little first baby.

[A]

Are you having that? Like more Moshe. More access.

[B]

Oh, yeah. More access to.

[A]

This isn't me saying you're being emotional. Like, you get more. Like. It's open.

[B]

I'm a crier. I'm a general crier. I would say pre pregnancy, I was a crier, but I definitely am more right. I'm feeling all of every feeling.

[A]

They're there.

[B]

Yeah. They're just accessible. They're right.

[A]

And you can get them. That's what I'm. Yes, I have them too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When your hormones are like flare or whatever they say are heightened.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

You just can get them.

[B]

Get them. Yeah.

[A]

And you're like, we're all having them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can get them.

[B]

And it's kind of a beautiful thing. It's kind of gorgeous. But it's also. I also, like, give so much less of a. About other things. Like, certain things, I'm like, who cares about that? But other things, I'm like, you know. Yeah. They're more easily accessible, I guess, is what you would say. Yeah.

[A]

No, you. Look, I. I don't want to tell you, but it seems to me when I. And. And men obviously have hormones too. When I'm feeling more open, more vulnerable and I'm just seeing them, I'm like, at least I know how I feel.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Yes. You're in touch.

[A]

Somet they're there, but they can't get through.

[B]

And if you don't know what they are, that's scary.

[A]

Deal with them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So when you're in states that heighten your availability to your own feelings, you can be like, yeah, I am sad or I am mad, or I am this.

[B]

And at least you know, also something that Irish Catholic, like, you know, that upbringing. At least for me. Like. And I'm also. I'm from New England. I'm from Connecticut. You are. But yes.

[A]

Oh word.

[B]

So there's not a ton of oh word.

[A]

Oh word. Oh word.

[B]

And sort of giving cork cadence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh word. They do say. They say that in Ireland all the time. Oh word. But yeah, I'm from Connecticut. My mom is actually from Massachusetts. From outside of Boston. Oh, no way.

[A]

What part?

[B]

She's from all over. No. Where. Where's Tewksbury?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Somewhere.

[A]

Couldn't take you to.

[B]

But I believe. I believe that that's in Massachusetts.

[A]

It's a real one.

[B]

There are a lot of berries.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Duxbury. Yeah. We could name them all.

[A]

Newburyport, my favorite. Well, it's in Rhode Island, I think. Seekonk.

[B]

Seekonk. I know someone from Seaconk. I know someone from Sea Conch. And I've been to the Outback Steakhouse in Seaconk. And the Chick Fil A.

[A]

These are the spots.

[B]

And I love Seaconk. But my. My. I'm from Connecticut. My mom's Catholic.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And in Connecticut, you know, there's not a lot of, like, emotional discussion, etc.

[A]

Like, it's the birth of this laugh.

[B]

Exactly. The lockjaw. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I used to.

[A]

But you're laughing.

[B]

I do have a funny story. I used to do impression. I've done impressions, like, since I was a kid. Like, that's just been how I've made people entertain people for my entire life. And I used to do. We watched Austin Powers. I think I was, like, a little too young to watch Austin Powers, but I became obsessed.

[A]

A lot of vagina.

[B]

A lot of vagina. Vagina. That didn't make sense to me until so much later.

[A]

Her boobs floating in the hot tub was so weird.

[B]

I think about that.

[A]

I think about that every day.

[B]

Her boobs in the hot tub.

[A]

They're so buoyant.

[B]

I think about.

[A]

I. I think about it every day. Not every day, but, like, you remember it too often.

[B]

She moves back in the hot tub, and they're like, yes. And. And no one. And, you know, no one's talking about it.

[A]

No one's talking about it.

[B]

But we're brave enough here.

[A]

This is what the talking about. You're not, dear. The Internet.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you're not alone. Everyone was like, why so.

[B]

Boy, I guarantee everyone's like, yeah, what the hell? Everyone's gonna agree with us.

[A]

One of those things you didn't know you knew until someone said it.

[B]

Exactly. It's so true. And that unlocks something for me just now. Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So. Yes. Yes. Exactly. And that was my story. Yeah. No. So I. And that was it.

[A]

And that's why I just want to.

[B]

Talk about her floating tata.

[A]

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[B]

But I used to do impressions of like Austin Powers and of Fat Bastard all the time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And my mom, we're at a. She had a dinner party once, and she. At our. At our house in Connecticut, and she loved being like, wait, Mary, come. Come to your impressions. Like, come. You know, whatever. Do it for the fancy Connecticut ladies. Fairfield County Connecticut ladies. And so I'd walk up and I'd be like, you know, doing my Fat Bastard impression, which I think at the time was like, you know, get in my belly. I'm bigger than you.

[A]

Very.

[B]

Thank you. Hold for applause.

[A]

Sorry, I just didn't want to say anything in case there was more.

[B]

I mean, what is it, baby? The other other white meat, baby. The other other white meat. That's something else he says.

[A]

Can I also interject?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Get in my belly was the first touchstone. You know how you do a touchstone?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And because he had a catchphrase.

[B]

That's how I go.

[A]

Like, And. And Austin Powers, too. Yeah, Shagadelic. All these sorts of things.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, of course. Do I make you horny, baby? Yeah.

[A]

That's how he would get. I'm sure there are takes in between takes. Mike Myers, trying to get in character would just be.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do I make you horny?

[B]

I have a video on this. I have a video on this.

[A]

What?

[B]

Check it out. I have a video because. Because. Well, anyway, Let me finish this. So basically, I would do that for, like, these, you know, very, like, WASPy New England ladies. And my mom thought it was so funny, obviously, because I'm her daughter and she is my biggest fan. But I would do, you know, get my belly, and these ladies would be like, oh, good. Okay, good job. Very funny. And I'd be like, I bombed. I absolutely bombed for these Connecticut ladies. They didn't. They didn't get it.

[A]

They weren't in the geist.

[B]

They weren't in the geist. And look at me, you know, years later.

[A]

That's what that song's about.

[B]

Yeah, it's about me. It's about you and Fat Bastard and Fat Bastard and Fairfield County, Connecticut, also.

[A]

Okay. Oh, the video. Yes. But I feel like Mike Myers, in general, taught all of us how to, like, really do characters and voices. Oh, like when he was so brave. $1 million.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We could all kind of do it. I'm not saying well, but he showed us how to go, like, big.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And then we were all just like, you can go big.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then at a certain point, we were all like, we don't want you to go big anymore. Like, it's, like, done Right. I'm not saying that was right or wrong. I'm just saying we lost our taste.

[B]

You're so right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's sad because I do. I do love. I love. I don't necessarily. I'm not, like, a super campy character y person. Like, in terms of characters that I do, which maybe. I don't know. I don't know what it is, but I've never been able to, like, really, like, unlock that, like, super silly, like, out there. But I love watching that. And I love people who are able to, like, develop. Like, one of my dearest friends is in the Groundlings. I love going to the Groundlings, and I love watching just, like. Like, huge, big characters. I don't know. Anyway, I just admire those people.

[A]

Well, I think there's good news that it'll definitely be back.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Like, now I really feel like old man homes. Everything just keeps coming back.

[B]

Oh, always. Well, I think there's always an audience for it, even if it gets smaller or bigger, whatever.

[A]

But then also the Internet, like, because of the Internet, like, Schwarzenegger impressions when I was starting out was the hackest thing you could do.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

You did. When you were a hack.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And now, because of the Internet, Donald Glover, you can see you can finally laugh at what turns out to be the funniest thing in the world.

[B]

Yeah. Well.

[A]

Which is an Arnold Schwartzmaker.

[B]

Oh, I love Arnold Schwarzweins.

[A]

That's all we need.

[B]

Yeah. And especially when you're really good. Like, when you do a really good Arnold so well.

[A]

And there's a million of them.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Which is funny.

[B]

Isn't it bad?

[A]

But some people have a real ear for it.

[B]

Yeah. But I feel like that's happened. There's always gonna be trends in comedy, obviously, you know, like, that's just the way it.

[A]

That's the way it is.

[B]

Sadly, I feel like with, like, big characters nowadays, people are like, millennial core. Like, oh, that's like Millen Cringe Miller. Oh, yeah.

[A]

You have your own. Okay. Boomers.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Cringe. Millennial core or whatever. Like, if you're doing, like, like a silly character or whatever like that. I have always, you know that, like, our generation was raised on, like, the Mike Myers of the world. Gen Z will be, like, millennial core. Like, and they hate it.

[A]

No. I'm so happy. Welcome.

[B]

I'm here.

[A]

It's like the meme where James Franco getting hung, and I'm like, first time. It's the first time.

[B]

Yeah. We're.

[A]

We're expecting and they'll be hung too.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh, and it's already starting.

[A]

It is?

[B]

Yes, already. All right. You know, like, Gen Alpha or whatever is like Skibidi Toilet. You know, they say the things that make no sense.

[A]

Skippity Toilet.

[B]

Do you know about Skibidi Toilet?

[A]

Wait, that's real? Because that sounds. No offense, you're gonna have to look it up Exactly. Like, kind of like a middle of the road riff that I would just use as a placeholder.

[B]

It's a real thing. And it also makes no sense.

[A]

Skibidi Toilet.

[B]

Skibidi Toilet.

[A]

We're done. This is garden.

[B]

34 years old.

[A]

Never been done.

[B]

Oh, try me. It's been done.

[A]

Skibidi Toilet.

[B]

And the. And the. The Gen Alpha children of the world are obsessed with Skibidi Toilet. You know, Ohio Riz, all of this stuff.

[A]

No Ohio Riz.

[B]

So Ohio, I guess, should be sipping.

[A]

Week tea while you tell me this.

[B]

I barely know this stuff. And also, I think Gen Alpha would find it deeply disconcerting that I even know any of this. But it's just from being on TikTok and stuff. But. But, like, yeah, Ohio means bad. Like, if you're like, oh, you're so Ohio. Like, that means you're something.

[A]

They're running out of ways to say stuff.

[B]

Literally. They're saying all kinds of weird shit.

[A]

Mid.

[B]

Over mid. Mid might still be a thing. I think it's still a thing.

[A]

Can you say Mid Ohio?

[B]

It's kind of Mid Ohio is. Ohio is on the. On, like, the scale of bad things. Ohio's like. You can't be Mid Ohio. You know what I mean? Like, it's like bad. It's the worst Ohio to be. Ohio.

[A]

Ohio feel about this.

[B]

Probably not good. Ohio feels Ohio about it. Sorry. Oh, and. And Skibidi Toilet is a YouTube video. Pete, I actually. I can't speak to this because I'm also not an expert, but it is.

[A]

I'm gonna say if it's anything like Hawk Tua. I'm pre. Disappointed.

[B]

It. It is not anything like you've ever seen in your life before.

[A]

Really.

[B]

It. It makes no sense. It's really weird. And it's. It's. It's a video of, like, men's heads popping out of toilets. And they say, and it's a song that's like, Skibidi. Skibidi. Yeah. And it's called Skibidi.

[A]

And now it became.

[B]

It became like a meme, and then it became a term. I don't actually know what. Skibidi Toilet itself Means I'm gonna love.

[A]

Having a 12 year old daughter. You're gonna really love it.

[B]

I get. Do you have a 12 year old daughter?

[A]

No, she's six. But in six years she's gonna be like skibidi toy. Like, come again?

[B]

Well, in six years, skibidi toilet's gonna be.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, gone. It's gonna be Ohio.

[B]

So skibidi toilet. Yeah. Just give it a Google. It's weird. It's weird.

[A]

Can I say though, here's. Do you have this as someone who's in the mix?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

There's something, and I've said this before, but I'll say it quickly. There's something about the state. You're in a state watching these videos. It's. It's another reality.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And then you, you're loving things more than you should. And I've tried to do this as a bit. It doesn't really work, but I go like sending people an isolated tick tock that you died laughing at.

[B]

You had such a Boston accent when you just said.

[A]

Did I?

[B]

Tick tock.

[A]

Tick tock. Yeah, tick tock, tick tock. Now Trump's saying we can't have tick tock.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

I knew he was great. Give me a crawla.

[B]

Oh my God. I love a crawler.

[A]

When you send someone an out of con, it's like telling someone about your dream.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They won't get it.

[B]

Well, sometimes.

[A]

Sometimes.

[B]

Okay. You know that you know you've got a good friend when they send you a TikTok and you're like, yes, this is me.

[A]

Honestly. That's true.

[B]

And sometimes you get them.

[A]

That's how you know you know each other.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Like, you're gonna like this.

[B]

Yeah. And you're like, absolutely.

[A]

And I will say, for parenting and postpartum and also going back to Irish Catholic boundary list parents, have you noticed on. Because it's hard to do standup about toxic family dynamics.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Because people don't want to laugh at it. But if you're alone in your. Your phone, you can go right at it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can make fun of moms hard.

[B]

And that's what's gorgeous. Well, and that's. And that is, I have to say, because you're like, you know, your, for you page or whatever or your Discover page, whatever app you're on is so tailored to you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It is pretty great. Because you're getting this like relatable content to you. And so you're like, okay. And it'll find its audience so much more easily than if you are in a live crowd or whatever.

[A]

Put the other shoe on and be like, that is a miracle.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's cooled me when I was 10. Like that would exist.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now that I'm 45, I'm like, I worry that there's gonna be. I've said this a million. That there's gonna be like a goggle. Like a set of goggles you put on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I actually think this is my prediction. Let the Internet have my genius. Brilliant genius.

[B]

My brain.

[A]

My brainius prediction.

[B]

Yes. Great.

[A]

Is that there's a time coming that hardcore pornography will seem quaint mind. Like, it'll be like, I can't believe they used to watch.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Like hardcore. Because what I think is going to happen with AI have you ever watched an AI. Have you ever watched an AI Video that's just like morphing and like it's almost.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh yeah.

[A]

Tripping. It's like psychedelic and like a dragon turns into a rocket shooting up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think we're gonna have that 360 hooked up in real time. This sounds like some real Philip K. Dick stuff. But the algorithm will be catered in real time. So it'll be taking data from create our reality. And it'll know when you're getting bored and it'll turn up sex. It'll know when you're getting overly stimulated. It'll turn up education. It'll make you. Now it's just telling you about Bob Dylan in the 60s. Now it's telling you about the Civil War. Now you're getting bored. Now it's just tits.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

It's like tits the size of mountains. It's the fucking floating tits.

[B]

And then you'll get sick of that and you'll get sick tits.

[A]

But it'll keep you in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I. I've said this a million. I think there's going to be like a time when it's like, don't put on the goggles.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

It's like. It's so good.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

The Dalai Lama would be like, right. The bells and the smells. I'm staying in the. In the T. Yeah.

[B]

Literally. Well, have you seen Wally?

[A]

Of course.

[B]

You know when they're all like sitting in like little booths watch us like with a little tv. I mean. I mean it could become real. You know what I actually have been finding and this is what is scary. Well, first of all, remember like the metaverse stuff.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And it all was just sex. Like immediately everyone was just trying to all. Yeah. The metaverse just became sex. Don't you and, like, kill people?

[A]

Don't you not have legs?

[B]

They found out how to do it. I don't know. Legless.

[A]

Legless Legolas.

[B]

Hey, you don't need legs to have sex.

[A]

Find out. Whatever's at the bottom is the hole.

[B]

Whatever. The bottoms of the hole. And I've always said that.

[A]

I've always.

[B]

And I've always said this, the perennial wisdom. Whatever, it ends, that's the hole. Okay. But, yeah, recovery.

[A]

So it all turned into sex.

[B]

It all turned into sex and murder. Yeah. And I think they were like, we got to shut it down. Because when there are no rules, whatever, that's where people go. They're like, oh, you know all this stuff, but something. Exactly. I do love Westworld. This is the thing also is more and more I see people are having trouble with, like, act with, like. Like, discerning reality from.

[A]

I'm so glad you brought this up. You mean on.

[B]

On the Internet already?

[A]

Can I. Okay, so I'm dead.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Thank you for bringing this up. Okay, I just want to interject my enthusiasm here. When I'm on Facebook, because I'm old, and I like going on Facebook sometimes because you just. Who cares?

[B]

You gotta check.

[A]

Then you get to the reels. It's less. Really. And. But you get to the reels, and the reels are all fake.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They're all fake.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, Like.

[B]

But what do you mean by fake?

[A]

Like, I mean, not, like, staged. Staged.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And you or I.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

This is what's happening. Like, yeah. Telemarketer calls me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And goes, daddy. Or whatever. Daddy, Daddy, I need $50,000. I'm in prison. And I'm like, okay, all right. No, but what I'm saying is my mom, my poor sweet mom might be scammed by something like that. And then there's also people that are getting scammed by the worst sketch comedy. That's not sketch comedy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's just supposed to be like, Michael Jackson was spotted in Paris. And they're like, oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. And then it was that offensive. But then it's like, maybe it was my best attempt at what it. Hashtag stereotypes, hashtag types.

[B]

Yeah. Man is back saying backslash.

[A]

It's zero quality. And the comments are just like, oh, my God, I knew it.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Or like, weird CGI and it's a ufo. So tell me. Tell me what you got.

[B]

So. Yeah, I mean, there's like, the fake news of it, you know, whatever. Like. Or I don't want to say fake news. But like, you know, it's literally just made up.

[A]

Fake Internet.

[B]

Fake Internet stuff. But then there's. There are more insidious things. Like there's this person on Tick Tock. And I've gotten their videos Tick tock. And I've gotten them on Tick tock. Get off Tick tock. Tick tock. Pete, get off Tick tock.

[A]

Sullivan, Sullivan. Always, always Sullivan.

[B]

It's always Sullivan.

[A]

Sullivan, put down your hockey pads and get on check shot.

[B]

I know. So I could go into Sullivan's right now, M.A. sullivan's Mass.

[A]

Cells. Yeah, you know him, the new doc.

[B]

But I would watch that.

[A]

I'd watch it.

[B]

I'm watching it. And you're watching it right now. What was I even saying?

[A]

You're talking about fake Internet.

[B]

Oh, fake Internet videos.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah. There's this woman on tick or this person group on Tick tock that may makes. There's this. It's this older woman who. I swear I've seen her in like, you know, Parks and Rec or something. She's like a woman that I've seen as an actress before. And she basically is like recovering from dementia and saying like, I remember you and I remember this and I remember my life. And her daughter's crying. Her daughter's wearing like a military uniform, of course. And everybody in the comments is like, it's a miracle. Oh, my God, this is so incredible. Blah, blah. And nowhere does it say that this is fake or that this is whatever. And everybody is believing it in the comments. And I feel insane because I'm like, like, this is fake.

[A]

This is fake.

[B]

It's so clearly fake.

[A]

This is fake.

[B]

And it would be different if it was like, oh, here's a simulation of what could. Whatever sweet video, right? Or you're saying it's exactly and they're saying it's real. And. And what's funny is that if you go to that person's page, there are all these videos of like, that, the younger daughter being a different character and whatever. Like if you had any, if you took five seconds, truly five seconds to look into it, you'd be like, oh, that was fake. And then move on with your life.

[A]

I couldn't be more excited about this topic because. Okay, so Matt McCarthy. Matt McCarthy has a great TikTok where he finds amazing stuff on old VHS tapes. Just to give him a shout out, he's on TikTok more meaning I'm not on it and he'll show me stuff. And I'm like, matt, that's fake. One of the things that goes. And I'd say this if Matt was there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you're just binging and, like, getting in the hypnotic trance, one of the things that goes is discernment. Because there's a very, very popular video video of a woman, older woman, it seems, feeding ducks. You've seen this video. She's feeding ducks, and then the ducks start attacking her. And she's like. It's another. It's like, sweeter. She's like. It's very funny.

[B]

Okay, here's my.

[A]

Ish. Mary Liz.

[B]

You think it's fake? You know it's fake.

[A]

Here's why it's fake.

[B]

Yeah. Why is it fake?

[A]

Because it's an old woman being attacked by geese. And she keeps them framed. She's getting bitten by geese.

[B]

Right, Right, right.

[A]

Stays framed. She's panicking.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And she keeps her arm out.

[B]

And, like, the cinematography is.

[A]

It's phenomenal.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

There's a video of a guy who goes, like, I'm gonna do a shot. And then he turns around and walks into his garage door.

[B]

Oh, that's. That's fake. It's fake.

[A]

I'm screaming it's fake. And no one is like that. They don't care.

[B]

I know.

[A]

It's Wally. They're just going, yeah.

[B]

Yeah. They're like, ha, ha, ha. I do that.

[A]

I did that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. She's hot.

[B]

Yeah, well. And this is the trouble, though. This. Yeah, she's hot. She's hot.

[A]

Wood. They just write wood.

[B]

Nobody. Toilet.

[A]

Skippity toilet.

[B]

Yeah, exactly that. But truly, that's like, every single. Almost every single video I come by now, there's at least some little element of, like, something is being tricked, something is being weird, something is off. There's. But now it's happening where people will have pretend Karen, like, come into their business and be like, you should have paid me yesterday. And it's so clear. Those of us who know good acting, we know.

[A]

But when it's bad, acting is out the window.

[B]

Yeah. And so we're like, okay, obviously this is a fake Karen. But then the. You know, the person's like, a Karen came to my business. Go to the link in my bio and, like, book a service with me because, like, how horrible that this Karen, like, ruined my one client. So they're making money off of it. And that. That ain't cool.

[A]

That's all I got.

[B]

Tires out of there. I hate it.

[A]

The Internet.

[B]

And we. And we can't do anything about it.

[A]

I know sometimes maybe this is terrible, but I'm like, maybe they're just over there and they're believing the fake UFO videos. But then you go like, oh, you know these people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They also get a say.

[B]

It is an oh. And that's what's a little bit scary, because they get to also decide sort of how our lives go. But you know what I would give. I would love to be a blissfully unaware person. Like, I'd love to be someone who. Yeah, I would love to be a child ahead. I would love to be just a.

[A]

Straight up Sea Kong chowder head.

[B]

I would just love to be someone who's like, that's a funny video. And then just get. You know what I mean? Instead of being like, that's fake. Like, I get so mad about it, Pete, I get pissed.

[A]

I wouldn't trade it for the world. One of my dear friends, his mother on Facebook, posted the Onion headline about how Shamu is kept in a giant Ziploc bag when they clean his tank. And she posted. It was like, this is an outrage. This animal should be treated more better and all not freed from a Ziploc bag. And it was like, look, she's out there. She's on the road. She's on the road.

[B]

She's got a driver.

[A]

She's also making split seconds driving decisions.

[B]

I know that. Actually, Pete, that's usually where my mind goes, is, like, to the road. Like, to the road. Because I'm thinking my mind's on the road. I just get. I get really scared of, like, you know, again, I don't. Like. I get scared of, like, not having control and the thought of, like, people driving and also, like, believing that Shamu is kept in a big bag.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Like.

[A]

Well, she probably drove later that day and drove poorly because she's so mad.

[B]

Right? She's pissed about Shamu being kept in a big Ziploc bag. Hey, I feel like a lot of that is, you know, maybe she's got to get a sense of humor.

[A]

Possibly. Her name is Linda, because it would be funny. But anyway, she rear ended somebody and was like, sorry. I've just been. My mind's been sorry since I found out Shamu's kids did, you know, that they keep.

[B]

And then that person would go, oh, my God. And he'd be outraged by it, too.

[A]

And then they'd go get.

[B]

And then they go, more rear end. Exactly. And then they'd be spreading, you know, fake news.

[A]

Here's fake news.

[B]

Fake news.

[A]

Beautiful. Fake news. I love my news. Fake news.

[B]

It.

[A]

He likes it.

[B]

He does he loves fake news. He does. I love it.

[A]

It's the best.

[B]

He does love.

[A]

It is boring.

[B]

Real n. He love. He loves. He loves entertainment.

[A]

Yes, he does. Fair. Let me ask you this. How did you. Sorry to be so off, but I'm fan heavy research light. Because there's not a lot about you that's okay online. So here's my question.

[B]

Good reason.

[A]

Real. Because you're taking a page from your male partner.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

How did this happen? Like, did you. Did you strategically enter the influencer comedy YouTube space?

[B]

No. I studied acting in school. I did improv in New York for a while. You know, like, auditioned in New York for theater, et cetera, and then moved to LA when I was, like, mostly booking, like, commercial and TV stuff. First commercial, first commerce. Seven up ten.

[A]

Seven up ten.

[B]

Only ten calories, I believe. Only ten calories. And I don't think it's on the market anymore, people.

[A]

7 up 10.

[B]

7 up 10.

[A]

That sounds so fake.

[B]

It was. It was. I. I swear to God. I think it was literally sold for like a month or something. And then I guess my commercial didn't do it, you know, do a good job. I didn't. I didn't sell enough.

[A]

Katie, would you please google 7up10? Is it 7up with 10 calories? Because I need to.

[B]

I think it is it.

[A]

If there was a market for, like.

[B]

Because what else would it be?

[A]

A little bit of sugar?

[B]

What would else be?

[A]

10, 10 times the caffeine, which would be zero because.

[B]

Right, because it doesn't have any. And that's math.

[A]

So 10 calories.

[B]

10 calories. And I. Did you cried in the commercial?

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You had to cry on command because.

[B]

I was like, okay. It was like, I. Oh, you know what? I forget what it was. But yeah, I had to cry on command. And I had to. It was my first, like, improv audition where they basically were just like. Just talk for like, a while about, you know, boyfriend troubles or something and then. And cry. And so I did. And that's what booked. That's what got it for me.

[A]

And I was like, also crying.

[B]

I'm crying in the commercial because you. I'm like, my mom said, this is this. And my friends are like. And they drink their soda, and that's seven up ten. And that was in 2013. That was a long time ago.

[A]

Over seven up ten years ago.

[B]

Yeah, well over seven.

[A]

Well over seven up ten years ago. And they should start calling regular seven up seven up three hundred and twenty.

[B]

Right? Like, history is based. History should be Measured in seven up. Tens.

[A]

I believe it was Abe Lincoln. That's.

[B]

Yeah, seven. Seven up. And that's history. And that's history.

[A]

And that's American history.

[B]

The microphone, you can.

[A]

And that's American history.

[B]

And that's American history, people. And what the hell was I even. Where were we talking?

[A]

You're talking about how you got into how you felt.

[B]

So I did a commercial. I did seven out of 10. Then I did a couple other commercials, and then I moved to la. And then Covid quite literally hit right after I moved to la.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

And so I was like, okay, so what do I do? And everyone was flocking to the Internet. Everyone was like, okay. And I had done a couple of little, like, things on Instagram or something before where I was like, don't navi. Impressions and stuff. You know, little things like that.

[A]

Now you're sequestered. And then.

[B]

Yeah, so now we're sequestered. Yes, I have. So my. I met my husband when I was 19. In. We met in college. Wow. Yeah. So we've been together for a long time.

[A]

That was kind of your bet.

[B]

For a long time.

[A]

So we've been together long. Quite a long time.

[B]

Quite a long time.

[A]

Quite a bit. Quite a bit of a spell.

[B]

I love the guy. Love him so much.

[A]

I love you so much.

[B]

Hello, darling.

[A]

Love to another 20 years.

[B]

Yeah, we'd love to stay together forever.

[A]

Stay together forever.

[B]

We speak in British accents to each other all day. Yeah, he's really good.

[A]

Good. I. I believe it. I. The way I saw things with Val is I often go, if I have to confront her on something, God help me, let's say, like, I wouldn't do this because I don't mind breaking down the boxes. But no one breaks down the boxes. And if I wanted her to break down the boxes before she put them in the recycling. And maybe I do, because I know she'll listen to this.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Val, please. I'm just kidding. Yeah, I don't mind. It makes me feel like a lumberjack or something.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But if I wanted to, I would say, this is embarrassing. I would go, would you join me in my initiative to break down the boxes before you. Like, I have to make it a kind of a bit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or I'll do it as a. Well, you join me in my initiative to break down the boxes.

[B]

That's very good.

[A]

Before we put them in the garbage.

[B]

Wait, that's very funny.

[A]

It fills up very quickly. Yeah, we need to. The Amazon. You can do it with your thumbnail. It's not a hard thing.

[B]

No, The Amazon's the easiest.

[A]

It's a pleasure.

[B]

Amazon's the easiest one to do.

[A]

Now they figured it out in the same way that Skittles were like, how long before these things should start melting your mouth?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was like, make it easy to break this stuff down. I know. And it's a pleasure. It actually is. It's very satisfying.

[A]

Feel great.

[B]

But it. But then. But then Val goes, haha, yes, I'll do that with you. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah. And she also does join me in my initiative.

[B]

Yeah, she'll join you in the initiative. Well, that's good, because then it's sort of like you're. You're inviting her to join in sort of this, well, look thing with you. And it's a funny voice you need.

[A]

To make Highly sensitive people that are bad at confrontation need bits. That's why I love that.

[B]

They're protective.

[A]

They're protective. And it's funny to just be like, all right, all right. Have you noticed that this light is left on all night a lot?

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

And then you're. What are you saying?

[B]

Bathroom's quite stinky, darling.

[A]

Could we do something about that for a reason?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Some people run it while they're doing the damage.

[B]

Yeah. Seems you forgot to feed the dog this morning, my love. Seems you forgot.

[A]

I seem to remember somebody saying that they would help with.

[B]

Yeah. Slipped your mind?

[A]

Did it slip your mind?

[B]

Did it slip your mind? Are you up the duff, darling?

[A]

You put me in the pud in the Pudding Club.

[B]

I'm in the Pudding Club.

[A]

So you were in 7 out of 10. You were. Tick tock. Wave of pandemic.

[B]

So then I. So then I was like, okay, what brings, what makes me excited? What make. Whatever.

[A]

That sounds like a bet. People stopping a bit.

[B]

And you put it.

[A]

So you're in the pandemic during the depths of COVID That's another one.

[B]

That's another one right in there.

[A]

And the bit stops.

[B]

Oh, honestly.

[A]

When you're on a podcast.

[B]

And the bit stops.

[A]

Okay, you have two ideas. I want to say I love you before they're ready. And when you're on a podcast. And the bit stops.

[B]

Thank you so much. This is. This is the only reason I came here today, to workshop new ideas.

[A]

Give me your time. Yeah, I'm not going to use them.

[B]

Thank you. Yeah, great.

[A]

Go on.

[B]

I'm going to have you sign something to be sure. Great. Right. But yeah, the. What were.

[A]

Yeah, Pandemic. Yeah.

[B]

So then I was going, okay, what makes me. What brings me joy? What brings, you know, people that I love joy. Maybe I'll just start doing accents online. So I post a couple videos, little accents here and there and stuff. And people were like, oh, these are good. I was like, oh, okay, I'll do more. And then I was watching. I was doing, like, the thing that I think a lot of people did during the pandemic, which was like, watching franchises of things, like all of the Harry Potters, all of the. The Marvel movies, all, like, marathons of, you know, the sequels of things. And I was, you know, I was franchising franchise it up, as they say. And I was watching the Pirates of the Caribbean and Keira Knightley's, like, mouth in that. I. I just was like, her acting the way she normally speaks, and then her acting mouth are different mouths.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

And Johnny Depp in that movie, too, was doing weird stuff with his mouth when he was acting. And then when you see him in person, in interviews and stuff, you're like, he's not doing that. So I was like, oh, that's kind of funny. A lot of actors, like, use their mouths to, like, really mean it. And I was like, oh, that's kind of a funny concept. So I made a video that was like, mouth acting.

[A]

Yes. And can you show me what Kira does? She'll go in here, but I'd love to see it.

[B]

Yeah, she'll be like, you know, Alexi, like, she'll do like a. Like, oh, like, she'll snarl. But then an interview. She sort of talks like that. And what, you know, like, she's not doing it like that. And then, like, Johnny Depp in that movie was going like, you know, like, as Jack Sparrow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I was like, oh, that's funny that people do that. And then, you know, the more the. Once you realize it, now that I've pointed this out to you, every movie you watch now, there are certain people, like, Emma Stone is a mouth actor.

[A]

Like, there are certain mouth actor.

[B]

There are certain people that are just mouth actors.

[A]

Or Drew Bare.

[B]

Drew Bare, Famously Drew Barrymore.

[A]

Yes. But she does.

[B]

And that's my Drew. Yeah, she does normally talk like that, but when she is acting, too, it gets exacerbated. It does. So I made a video that was, like, sort of pointing that out, and people were like, that. I really relate to that. That's funny. And so it got a ton of views. And then it became. That was like, my thing was, like, math acting, which sort of turned into impressions, and but like, my page has always sort of been like, that's the. My niche is, like, impressions and accents and stuff. Yeah. So I have no. I mean, I'm an actor. Like a comedian. Writer. Yeah.

[A]

Like, that's what I do to dig a little deeper. Did you. At some point. And I'd love to hear about the process. Go. Okay. There's some wind behind my sail.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Moving in a direction.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Got my boyfriend since I was 19.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Got some movement here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now I'm gonna research how to, like, add fuel to the fire. Did you, like, look into thumbnails and titles and how frequently you should be posting? Are you conscious of that?

[B]

I've looked into that. I think it got to a point where it was so unpredictable. Like, I just, like, the algorithm is so fickle that I just. I don't. I just don't think. And maybe this is cynical of me. I just don't think that, like, is a thing. Like, I don't think it works.

[A]

That's really funny.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

I do know what you mean.

[B]

I do think probably like the thumbnails of it all, whatever. But I guess I just was like, I don't. I don't need to put. I don't want to put all my eggs in the Internet basket. I guess I'll say.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And like, a lot of the kind of, like, I. I don't know, like, I just kept making videos and just like, posting more and more and that's.

[A]

That's cool.

[B]

So I don't know. I didn't really get too into, like, the nitty gritty of it. Some people hire an editor. No, I. I haven't.

[A]

They're editing.

[B]

I'm out there editing.

[A]

She's out there editing.

[B]

I edit. I also, I just have. I mean, I feel like with comedy, so much of it is you just, you, you know, your own style of comedy. So it's hard to, like, hand something over to someone and then have them edit it. It.

[A]

Yes, for sure.

[B]

You know, So I don't know. At least for me. At least for my videos. So. Yeah. And sometimes I've done little, like collaborations with people or brand deals or something where I just hand them raw footage and they edit it and it just never quite feels.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The same.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So, yeah, I really like. Because there did come a point where I was like, okay, I can jump over into the Internet thing and become like a straight up influencer person. Really go like, you know, put two feet into that. And I just was like, I. I'M an actor. I'm a writer. Like, that's what I would rather be doing and focusing on. And so the Internet's almost. At this point, I see it sort of as like, if I have a fun idea, if something really strikes me, then I'll post it.

[A]

Like, Rob Delaney.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you know Rob?

[B]

I do know Rob. I mean, I don't know him, but I know of him. Yeah.

[A]

The Internet. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Are you friends with Rob?

[B]

You know Rob? Do you know Rob?

[A]

I. Well, Rob moved, I believe. I used to see Rob.

[B]

He's in the UK now, isn't he?

[A]

In the uk? But he was in Home Sweet Home Alone, which a lot of people saw.

[B]

So many people.

[A]

Better than the original, as was.

[B]

The people said that. People said that.

[A]

Macaulay Culkin said that.

[B]

Yeah, famously.

[A]

He said, they beat me. That's what he said. I don't know why.

[B]

With the hands, too.

[A]

Yeah. He. He never does that. He never does the hands.

[B]

And. And he did it.

[A]

He saw Home Sweet Home Alone and.

[B]

He said he did it.

[A]

We were alone.

[B]

Yeah. So you don't have any call.

[A]

He's always alone.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And at home.

[A]

And I went up to him and he went, home Sweet Home Alone. Ah, you beat me.

[B]

Oh, my God. He said, you beat me.

[A]

He said to me. But he meant the movie.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

You beat me.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I said, wait, do it again, he said.

[B]

And he said, no.

[A]

And then Kieran came in, and then.

[B]

He was like, now I can't do it with Kieran because you can't have a witness to that.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

Yeah. Hey, look at the. Are you saying. Yeah.

[A]

Titties floating in the. With the.

[B]

I bet Kieran Culkin would know what we're talking about. With the floating boobs. Yeah. I think everybody would.

[A]

Of course. That's my Karen Culkin. Yeah.

[B]

No, the titties floating.

[A]

Yeah. Go yourself.

[B]

He does do that.

[A]

He does. Yeah. I'm not the only one that noticed that. This is my Kieran Culkin impression.

[B]

That's really good.

[A]

Yeah, you.

[B]

That's funny. That's funny. That's funny. This guy.

[A]

I tried for a long time to do Jeremy Irons, too, where he's like, oh, dad, it's gonna be tight.

[B]

Yeah. Kendall Roy.

[A]

Yeah. Off.

[B]

Oh. I think it's so funny that he is the voice of McDonald's. McDonald's.

[A]

He is, yeah. Get yourself a Big Mac. No, I haven't heard it.

[B]

He literally was like, big Mac Quarter Pounder. Yeah. And he goes at the end of.

[A]

The Happen after succession. Because in succession, he sort of famously eats McDonald's.

[B]

Oh, yeah, he does. But, yeah, I guess they were like, let's. Let's take this thing all the way home. And they were like, now he's the voice of McDonald's.

[A]

He did a lot of commercials.

[B]

Yeah, but he. But I just think it's so funny that. That they haven't. They got him to go. I'm loving it.

[A]

I mean, yeah, it's like getting Trent Reznor to be like.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

So cool.

[B]

It's like. Like this guy who. Yeah, I just am amazed by that. Meanwhile, you know, meanwhile, I'll do it.

[A]

I'd do it.

[B]

I'll do any commercial. Any commercial, and I've done it.

[A]

I wouldn't do a McDonald's commercial.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's me.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

These are the ABCs of me now. They want me, though, now, do they?

[B]

Yeah, they're gonna. They're gonna call you.

[A]

We need super bowl cut to me and Val being like, people are buying it, right? I mean, it might as well be me.

[B]

It might as well be you.

[A]

So, yeah, I'll do it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'll eat a fry.

[B]

Great. I'd love a fry. Especially in my current state. I'll eat anything at this point.

[A]

Let me ask you something. If you got poop on your hand, would you just wipe it with some Kleenex and just be like, I'm done. I'm good. Or would you want water involved? That's what a bidet is. That's what a tushy bidet is. Tushy bidet is here to change and upgrade your toilet game in the new year. Me in January. I'm like, I'm gonna eat more veggies and hike. Me in February. I just want my to stop burning when I go to the toilet. And now the tushy bidet is here, and it is cleaning your butt in the way that the. I'm going to say it. The Lord intended with water. You got to spray it away, get it clean. Just like it was crap on your hand. You got to get a power blaster on there. It's like dry leaves out of your driveway with a high powered hose. A tushy bidet uses a precise stream of clean water to get your butt tip top. Especially now that it's going to be spraying. You gotta be clean down there. Come on. Spring cleaning tushy is easy. It's fast, and once you try it, you'll never go back. I thought it would feel weird. Or if I have a hard time finding my B hole. Nope, Bullseye. First try it feels A. Okay. A stands for S. And the first time it hits it. No. No issue. And now there's no going back. Makes pooping any other way feel primitive, backwards and stone age. This is like a midday shower and in five seconds after every poop the way God intended. They have lots of different models. The classic permanent bidet that attaches to your existing toilet, which is what I have and love. And we just have got the Tushy Travel which is amazing, portable and travels with you discreetly so there's no more compromising your number two game when you're on the move. Tushy bidets are easy to install. I'm talking less than 10 minutes. And those 10 minutes will change your life. Get a real clean bottom and help keep away hemorrhoids, UTIs and yeast infections. And step your button to the future with a science fiction level of Clean with tushy. Just sit down, relax, turn the knob and spray a precise stream of fresh water at your butt. Every hello Tushy bidet comes with a 30 day hassle, free return and a 12 month warranty. So stay shower fresh now that it's spring spring cleaning and join the 2 million butts who've already switched to tushy. For a limited time, our listeners get 10% off their first bidet when you use code weird at checkout. That's get 10% off your first [e-mail] weird with promo code weird. Hello Tushy T U s h y.com weird with promo code weird and tell them that we sent you and thank me later. So how talk to me about it. I'm stoked.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

May tell you something? Yeah, sorry. Pete. Explaining pregnancy here.

[B]

That's okay.

[A]

It's the realest thing you'll ever do.

[B]

I am starting to sense that in.

[A]

The best way only meaning it's the opposite of the Internet.

[B]

Yeah. It connects you to. Yeah. Well that's what's funny too is that I just like this now happening. I'm like. I don't see everything. A lot of things seem unimportant.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

In comparison.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And it puts things into perspective in a pretty, pretty gorgeous way.

[A]

And then it becomes play like you're doing this and do you know the gen?

[B]

I do.

[A]

Do you share that? That? No.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

No, you don't have to.

[B]

I might keep it to myself.

[A]

Yourself?

[B]

There's no mistake, is that weird?

[A]

No.

[B]

I've not really talked publicly about loving it.

[A]

Don't talk about the gender of your.

[B]

Dead and loving it.

[A]

You're a disappointment.

[B]

They should.

[A]

You don't have the killer instinct.

[B]

They should do that on snl. Did they do that already?

[A]

What?

[B]

That. That.

[A]

The succession.

[B]

Yeah. Like, someone's got to make fun of him doing McDonald's.

[A]

I agree. It's us.

[B]

Maybe it's us. And maybe we just did it and that was it. I think that's it. And we can kind of sign seal, deliver and that bit is done. Or we could take it to the max, take it further.

[A]

Tell me, how far along are you? Are you open?

[B]

I'm halfway through.

[A]

Halfway.

[B]

I'm halfway.

[A]

It goes so fast. I mean, it also goes very slow. It's weird raising a child.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I. I shouldn't have said that.

[B]

I should know it.

[A]

How's your experience?

[B]

No, no, it's true. Like, the beginning goes very slowly because you're. I was not. Well, you know, at the beginning, you're like. The first trimester is like, whoa. And then. And then it goes fast.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're like, whoa. How did. How did I get halfway through already?

[A]

Sorry. I'm excited for you.

[B]

Thank you. Like, I'm excited.

[A]

I don't want to be in advice mode, but it's just like. It sounds like you're already doing it. It's just like, green light, all of it. My favorite. My favorite thing that we actually used. There were two things that we used for the birth. One was drink while you pour. So if your husband is helping you, he needs to also help himself. Because if you're napping, he needs to nap. If you're snacking, he needs to snack. Don't be a martyr.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Drink while you pour and then let the monkey do it. Which is a weird one. Have you heard let the monkey do it?

[B]

No. What's that?

[A]

I mean, to me, it's just like, we're primates. Like, fucking own it. And let the monkey part of you fucking squat out that bitch baby.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Like, yeah, get.

[B]

Don't get feral.

[A]

Don't be Downton Abbey about it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Be, like, real. Yeah, monkey, do it.

[B]

I'm kind of. In my family, we've always said, you know, let your lizard brain take over.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Like, use your lizard brain.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it knows what to do. And I think this is one of, like, when it comes to your wedding night, like, or the first time you have sex, I don't think you can let the lizard brain do it.

[B]

No, probably not.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Like, there are some technicalities to that pregnancy.

[A]

I think you can, you can go into a gear.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you going to do EPI D early?

[B]

I, I think, yeah.

[A]

I, I've got to have a birth plan.

[B]

I'm working with a doula on my birth plan.

[A]

That doula is going to try to talk you into a natural childbirth. I'm going to tell you.

[B]

I, I, I.

[A]

What's that doing? If it's sunset or something like that, it's adjacent. Definitely tell you about how you're going to want to be there for the biggest day of your life. We were planning on doing that. And then 58 hours or 50 hours into our labor, Val's like, give me that. And it was the best. It was like we both had a.

[B]

Chorus, you know, I think I'm just like, whatever can make it. Like, I'm not a hero, and I'm not interested in being. I don't need to be a hero in my birth. Whatever will make it, you know, I would like it to be. I mean, look, it's never going to go the way that you plan. Like, I know that. That's what everyone tells me already is like, you, you make a plan and God laughs. Like, you know, you, you think you know what it's going to be like, and then it's different. Different. But if I can make it a little easier for myself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why not? A little less pain. Why not?

[A]

If I was doing it, I would get two epidurals for sure. And that's not to be scary. I'm just no green light.

[B]

The, like, we've got the technology.

[A]

We have a technology for every woman. Look, full respect. And I could talk out the other side of my mouth about the virtues of a natural childbirth.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

For every woman in Beverly Hills. Or actually, I should have said Venice or Santa Monica.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Squatting out in a pool and like, screaming.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's so many women. Like, the echoes of generations of women that are like, you mean you had something that would.

[B]

Right. Excuse me.

[A]

What's that?

[B]

Why did you not do that?

[A]

Damp cloth.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Candles.

[B]

Well, they're like, dying in childbirth. Yeah.

[A]

You said.

[B]

No, that's the thing. That's the thing is I'm like, what's, what's seeming to be. What's already great about pregnancy is that it's so different for every person. And, like, whatever works for you.

[A]

That's right. Well, I should say.

[B]

And that's a Problem on the Internet though.

[A]

Is that right for you?

[B]

Yeah. There, there. There are very judgmental people, especially with. With pregnancy etc. Online and everything is scrutinized and whatever. Whatever.

[A]

It doesn't stop, by the way.

[B]

I don't know what I know.

[A]

Micros. The micro judgments.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm not even mad at it. But parents. What I wasn't ready for. And I'm excited for you to see. There's all these little flexes. Yeah. I'm trying to write a joke about the lies we tell. Tell you how old you are and in like your 20s, you lie to your daughter. Doctor. About how many drinks you've had.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And after you have a baby, you lie to other parents about how much screen time your kids get.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like that becomes the new lie that.

[B]

Has been all over my like for you page lately. People talking about screen time. I mean, there's a lot of shaming around like, you know, people using devices, whatever. That's the thing. I'm like, I'm not interested. I will not be sharing anything about parenting on social media. I'm gonna be. It's gonna be a parent free zone for me in terms of content because I love it. You. Damned if you do, damned if you don't truly like with everything you share about. Especially as a, as a mom. I mean, look, everybody. But yeah. It is a can of worms. Exactly.

[A]

You become an avatar for their mom. People get real touchy about it.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, anytime kids are involved on. Right. Of course it's like sensitive subject. But it's. Yeah. I'm just like. I don't. And that's what's great about the Internet too is that you can share as much as you want. You can share as little as you want.

[A]

Yeah. You know, going back to the Internet being great. Those, the memes that Val and I send each other about parenting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Very, very, very, very, very, very funny.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Very, very funny.

[B]

I think people really find. I mean, and that's such a huge niche is like parent.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Stuff.

[A]

Because you're losing time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There'll be a time when you're with your newborn and you're on a yoga ball and you have no connection to the outside world.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you'll jump on there for five minutes and you'll just see other people going through that too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think. I'm not saying that's as good as obviously being with people, but being with people is very good for postpartum.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, when you're a little.

[B]

When you're feeling isolated when it's. Yeah, yeah. I honestly. I mean, also, I'm saying, like, I'm not sharing anything about parenting. Famous last words. Because as soon as that becomes, like, my life, obviously that's going to be my lived experience. And so it's like, then I'm going to want to share things, you know.

[A]

Create comedy around that you to do it. Because it would be funny. It's funny. It's so funny. What's. It's one of those things where you go, like, oh, I see why they make so many movies and TV shows about this is because you do see, like, kids there. There's just so much drama. Like, Leela was sick and, like, we're on a. A text chain with families that know she's sick, but we want to go to the coffee shop, and you're just, like, living in drama.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's funny. It's funny when the parent who's on the chain sees you at the coffee shop and they know your kid is sick, and you're like, yeah, right.

[B]

You're like. I mean, it is something also that I'm learning is that it seems like kids are sick all the time.

[A]

You'll be sick for about three years.

[B]

Yeah. I was going to say, like, I think I need to start preparing now. Yeah. That as soon as they go to preschool, they're sick all the time.

[A]

You're dead.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. As long as I. I mean, I.

[A]

Know that now, and it's fine.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And the other. Sorry, I say this every time, but the other great piece of advice, Rich Blomquist, who's Christian Shaw's husband, said, pretend you're camping. And for some reason, that really helped.

[B]

The first four weeks, because, you know, it's. Tend your camp because you're surviving, essentially.

[A]

Yeah. And if you're. If you sleep poorly when you're camping, you're like, we're camping.

[B]

Camping. Yeah.

[A]

If you think it's your life, you'll hate it.

[B]

That's kind of genius.

[A]

But if you're like, we're camping.

[B]

We're just on a camping trip for a little while.

[A]

You're on a camping trip.

[B]

Oh, my God. I'm gonna. I'm gonna take that.

[A]

And also, yes, I think keep pen and paper handy. I'm not saying it's the most inspired time you'll have, but there's something about interrupting your sleep that I think is actually a creativity hack.

[B]

Really? Have you ever noticed, like, you're going slightly insane?

[A]

Yeah, you're going a little insane.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But there were, like, in this house where Lela was a newborn envelopes where I just write down bits and they became like, really great bits.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it's a little bit like being hungover. You have no filter.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You give zero. Fuck. So you're just like, saying what you think.

[B]

Sure. I feel like when I've. In the past, when I've been a little high.

[A]

Yeah, you're sort of.

[B]

Because you're a little bit just out of the.

[A]

You're right, you're a little high.

[B]

You're floating a little bit above kind of the norm.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So your brain's kind of. But I, I, I. That makes a lot of sense to me. I mean, we'll see how it goes.

[A]

We'll see how it goes.

[B]

I mean, oh, my God.

[A]

Who knows?

[B]

Dude, I'm in for a wild ride.

[A]

Yeah. Toads.

[B]

Is there anything that we. That I. What did I write down that, or what did you write down that? We were like. Oh, we need to circle back to that.

[A]

Do you remember Powers?

[B]

Oh, Austin Powers. Oh, yeah. Wait, but there was something else about Austin Powers that I was supposed to talk about floating. Oh, my video. I made a video. Okay, so Hugh Jackman once. Because I was like, I really don't want to forget this because the greatest. The greatest showman himself, Hugh Jackman, who I love.

[A]

Hugh deserves better than that.

[B]

I love. I love to do impressions of Hugh Jackman singing because he. I will never do him speaking only singing. Have you seen Les Mis?

[A]

No.

[B]

Then this won't make any sense to you, but have you've heard him sing?

[A]

I think so.

[B]

He's like, like, that's how he sings.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yes. Have you not. Okay, there's a. I've done this bit forever.

[A]

Where can I play it on my phone?

[B]

Yeah. Okay. In Les Miz, it's Russell Crowe and him together. And Russell Crowe, like, is. Is the lead singer of a band, but, like, can't really sing. And so he's like, prisoner, Fortune 601. Like, that's how he sings. Like it's hollow. Do you know what that means? And then Hugh Jackman goes. It means I'm free. Yeah. And I love to do that bit.

[A]

Okay, I'm gonna play a little bit. He's like, oh, my God. I don't know if it was worth making this episode not ad viable, but we can just cut that out.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you can just. I can sing over that part. And then we'll. People will believe that it's Hugh Jackman singing and it won't be actually, you know, and it'll be protected by a. The parody clause or something.

[A]

Oh, yeah. If we, if you did that.

[B]

Yeah, we could le. We'll have legal look into it.

[A]

I'll just get that email that says it's been flagged.

[B]

Yeah, sorry about that.

[A]

No, we'll take it out.

[B]

But now, you know, that's how Hugh Jack. Yeah, his, His. His Vibro is unique. Anyway, I get. I consume a lot of content surrounding Hugh Jackman, but he has this video or an interview where he talks about certain words he uses to, like, get into different accents that he's doing or different characters that he's doing. And I was like, oh, that's so cool. Because I definitely do that for impressions. Like, I have little. Because what we were talking about earlier, like touchstones. Exactly. And so I made a whole video about, like, my touchstones for different, like.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Characters and impressions and stuff. But I think that's so interesting, isn't it?

[A]

Me too. I want to hear. I want to know some of them, but I don't want to put you on the spot. Mine for Steven Wright is Cesarian. Cesarian.

[B]

Oh, that's good.

[A]

My friend had a Cesarian section. You can't tell. But every once in a while when he goes out the house, he leaves through the window.

[B]

The window.

[A]

The window.

[B]

I love when people use their tongue for D. Window. Yeah. That's sort of a Jersey Ish thing, right? The window. I love that.

[A]

Trying to think of my Pacino is just. I don't have one.

[B]

Yeah, you've been kind of doing Pacino.

[A]

In and out today during this episode. Yeah, well, that's what happens. Do you go to Pacino especially? Like, if you start doing Trump, I'll be on stage and I'm like, I just said that like Trump. Because he talks in a funny way. Like, I mean, it's like, funny.

[B]

It's like literally a funny way of speaking. Exactly. He's got a silly way of speaking, but Pacino.

[A]

I don't know. Mary Elizabeth Kelly. That's so good. How are you? Everything he says, he's like, unveiling.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's pulling away a silk napkin. What do you think of this?

[B]

A little pause.

[A]

Oh. Oh, now he's old. He doesn't sound like that anymore.

[B]

No, he used, you know, I. I.

[A]

Can'T do him now.

[B]

Met him.

[A]

You met me, I met.

[B]

I've. We've met before. We've met before, Al.

[A]

I can't believe I forgot that.

[B]

And he.

[A]

I find that hard To.

[B]

He actually kind of still sounds like that.

[A]

Do I?

[B]

Yes, you still sound like that way, sir. And he was a word. He's word.

[A]

Word up.

[B]

And you know what? He's got some young kids.

[A]

Yes, he does. I know. I have a joke about it, and I bet they. People don't like it.

[B]

You know, I think that's.

[A]

I think that's funny because they love Pachin so much.

[B]

They love the.

[A]

Now I got a couple of little rascals running around. I show them my movies on film.

[B]

Boom. Do you. Do you have Pacino in your. In your set?

[A]

When I do that joke?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now it does so poorly that I have to be like, I do not like that joke.

[B]

And then they like that. And then you're right. Okay.

[A]

Then they like.

[B]

You judge yourself as Pacino.

[A]

Judge it as Pacino.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it's weird. You give that many great performances. People don't want to hear the. You're gonna.

[B]

I know. Well, people put them on a. You know, he's a human.

[A]

I'm just a human.

[B]

You're just a human, Al.

[A]

But I get a floor of the four seasons reasons when I stay there. A whole floor.

[B]

Does he?

[A]

Of course, of course, of course, of course, of course.

[B]

Yeah, that's good.

[A]

Throwing a little like, oh, he's only getting goosed.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, he is.

[A]

He got me.

[B]

He loves a little ad lib, it seems.

[A]

You know, he loves a lib.

[B]

But I. I guess for me, I always think so for me, you're.

[A]

You're keeping the episode on track right now because I'm just like, we need a bob. And you're like, all right. Keeping it on track.

[B]

But it's so fun, isn't it, just.

[A]

To, like, take a little.

[B]

Just to sort of live as somebody else for a little bit.

[A]

Just beep a chain.

[B]

I love to. I. I think it's great that you're pushing, and I think people shouldn't be afraid to just slip, as I do in this video. Just go into something else for a little bit. Go into somebody else. Be somebody else.

[A]

Somebody.

[B]

Do a little something else.

[A]

What's your touchstone? What's your favorite? Because I love your Emma Thompson.

[B]

Oh, thank you. I love her. I'm trying to think for Emma. For Emma. Just do her mouth.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

That's it. What?

[A]

So I guess maybe Zeppelin Thompson. I'm very bad with actors. She's in love, actually, right?

[B]

She goes, yes, but you've made a.

[A]

Fool out of me.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You've made the life that I live Quite foolish. And then, Alec, I'm a fool.

[B]

I'm a fool. When she goes. My favorite quote from that movie of her is when she goes was, would you stay always knowing life's going to be a little bit worse. Would you cut and run? Yeah.

[A]

Chills.

[B]

That is. Oh, what a tragic character.

[A]

She goes in the bed in the bedroom and cries alone. I'm dead.

[B]

Yeah. Sobbing.

[A]

Dead.

[B]

And Joni Mitchell plays that movie corny.

[A]

As at certain points and weird that that storyline.

[B]

Yeah. You know what's the most realistic part of that movie is that she and Hugh Grant. Grant play siblings. Because I do impressions of Hugh Grant all the time. And he also has. His face is sort of like that. And they're very. That is. I forgot that that's from that movie. And that's also excellent. But he. Every time I do impressions of the two of them, people are like. They're like the male, female versions of each other. Okay, perfect. That they're.

[A]

Put them next to each other.

[B]

Well, I did a Love. Actually, all of the impressions of Love, actually. You know, the Keira Knightleys of it all. That movie is full of mouth actors, as they say.

[A]

But not Martin Freeman. He's hard to do. No one does.

[B]

I've never done Martin Freeman. And. And he's been a request. He's kind of like a. Yeah, he. He always seems to be sort of caught off guard, you know. Yeah. Like, yeah, I'll have to. I'll have to work on him. I've never even considered.

[A]

There's one line in the original Office Office where he goes, don't. Don't do that. I can't do it. It's higher than I wanted to.

[B]

I love. Don't do that British Office.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

I love Ricky Gervais.

[A]

Great.

[B]

That guy's funny.

[A]

Unfair.

[B]

It is unfair. I know. Especially as that character. I'm like, damn that. Really? No one.

[A]

Well, you know, when I do love.

[B]

Steve Carell as the American version.

[A]

Yeah, that's over. I think we had to pick one that's over.

[B]

We don't. We don't.

[A]

You don't?

[B]

No.

[A]

But that style, what Ricky Gervais did, I don't want to take like Lisa Kudrow is also kind of doing that flavor similar like the Comeback.

[B]

You're right.

[A]

I call it so humor where they go like. And, you know, maybe I'll just take that down.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[A]

That is also doing.

[B]

And they don't like an ellipses sort of. Yeah, yeah. I never put that together, but yeah. That's true. Lisa does the. That.

[A]

And. And Megan Salter, who I love to death, is. Is in a great.

[B]

A funny, Funny, funny person.

[A]

Funny lady Megan. He took the Gervais Ball, I think, and.

[B]

Oh, yeah, a lot of people took the. Well, like, the Flubby kind of, like.

[A]

Yeah. You know, But I think that's who she is. I don't think she's doing him. I think someone like him showed how funny a person.

[B]

Oh. Oh, Megan is doing a completely.

[A]

Yeah, she's doing Megan.

[B]

She's doing Megan.

[A]

She's doing Megan.

[B]

But what was. Oh. Oh. I was gonna say. Oh, the Emma Thompson. Yes. Of it all. But I was gonna say my favorite, like, hook to get into an impression is Winona Ryder and saying Magnets.

[A]

Magnets.

[B]

Yeah. Because she says she's, like, you know, obviously very soft spoken and, like, her eyes are huge, but she has these. Her S's sound, like, very soft. And she says, magnets.

[A]

Magnets.

[B]

Yeah, Magnets.

[A]

Magnets.

[B]

So that's. I don't know.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

I like being Winona because she's.

[A]

Oh, it's fantastic. Yeah. It's cozy. It's like. It's a mug of coffee.

[B]

Yeah. She's very. And she's sort of, like, weird. She's, like, very different for me. But. Yeah. That's how I get into unknowns.

[A]

That's funny. You're making. Just for the fun of it. It's like Jeff Bridges is a line from Seabiscuit where he goes, I just think this horse has a lot of heart. Heart.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

But it's not quite right.

[B]

That's such a. And then Josh. I've heard you do him before.

[A]

I think my brother Bo, which is brilliant.

[B]

You know what. And it's the tongue in cheek.

[A]

It is.

[B]

It is the. You're literally.

[A]

He has a bite of apple in his mouth, and he's going, so right. I just think this horse has a lot of heart. Oh, my God.

[B]

That's really very good.

[A]

Well, yeah. Yeah, I was Lebowski.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do my thing. You know, toilet to toilet.

[B]

And he's Irish.

[A]

Oh, and. And Morgan Freeman is Andy Dufresne.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

That was always.

[B]

That's a good one.

[A]

We're just talking touchdowns.

[B]

Yeah, we. We're talking Dutch stones.

[A]

Andy Dufresne.

[B]

That's really good.

[A]

Oh, people say Andy didn't find his way with the sisters.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. That's very good.

[A]

It's a lot.

[B]

Excellent. No, it's very good.

[A]

It's hard to say. I Liked Andy right away.

[B]

It's the. It's the lower you get. It's the whisper. It devolves into a whisper.

[A]

It does.

[B]

You know what's the saddest thing for me in all of this is that I. So whenever I do an impression, I, like, get actively sad if I don't. If I can't do it perfectly. If I can't be the person where.

[A]

I just can't do it.

[B]

No. There are some days, and there are some people that I'm like. They're so anatomically, facially, voice different from me. I just can't do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But there's so many impressions of men that I want to do, and I just can't do it. It.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because my voice can't go low enough.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like, I just can't. I won't ever be able to do it accurately.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And, like, there are some people, some male men that I do impressions of that, you know, you can get the essence basically of them or, like, their face or, like, silly things that they would say or whatever.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I can never really, like, really get them. And that irks me, drives me mad.

[A]

I'm with you. Because an impression is either right or wrong.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then it's like. And, you know, people like John C. Reilly is coming to mind, and, you know, you can do that perfectly. Perfectly.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I think I did him to him once, and he was.

[B]

How'd that go?

[A]

Very humorlessly, kind of like. I don't. I don't think that's what I sound like. I appreciate the effort, but I don't think.

[B]

That doesn't sound like me to me. That is. That. That is so good. And he is. He is one that I desperately wish I could do.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

And I have. I've done him, but I'm done. I don't. I'm not actually doing him. You know what I mean?

[A]

I'm leaning on the fact that my voice is deeper.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because.

[B]

Right, right, right. But that's also up here. Yeah. You're Kermit. Kermit.

[A]

And then if you go here, you're Ray Romano. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which isn't quite right.

[B]

Yeah. There. I've also done a couple videos, and this is a fun thing, too, like morphing one celebrity into another. And that is actually what I did for my SNL audition.

[A]

No way.

[B]

However many years ago. But the.

[A]

Still waiting to hear.

[B]

Yeah. I don't think I booked it. Oh, no, I don't think I booked it.

[A]

I'm not even kidding. That's That's a. Yeah.

[B]

I went to Nueva York. I did the screen test. I did the whole thing.

[A]

You did?

[B]

I did, yes. And I didn't get it. Oh, no, that's okay.

[A]

You went all the way. You did the audition on the stage.

[B]

With people not laughing in the dark. With the people not laughing in the dark. No, I did.

[A]

I don't care that you didn't get it. I wish I had.

[B]

It was.

[A]

You did that. That's incredible.

[B]

It was really a very, very intense experience. And I was like, I. I mean, I've been obsessed with SNL since I was a little kid. Like, I've. You know, it's obviously an extremely iconic show. So even just being there, like, even just being at 30 Rock and doing the whole thing, I was like, this is the coolest thing I've ever done. But, yes, extremely intimidating.

[A]

You know, obviously, you did the merging impressions.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I did. I did. Like, I basically did just, like, a whole. I think I did 20 different celebrities and sort of wrote this, like, monologue that kind of, like, morphed one into the other and, like, basically finding little similarities and, like. Yeah. Which was cool.

[A]

Wait, you talked about it while you were doing.

[B]

Yeah, it was like. I don't even know how it started. It was like, I love doing impressions of Jennifer Coolidge. And then it was like. But once I start doing her lips, I start wanting to talk, like, so and so. And then I go into so and so. Yeah. So that was fun.

[A]

How do you do Jennifer?

[B]

Oh. Oh, hi. Yeah, hi. Oh, hi.

[A]

I'm so glad I asked. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, wow. Oh. Oh, yeah. A lot of that. But the thing is, you know how we were saying, like, comedy comes in trends and waves and stuff.

[A]

People got wise to it.

[B]

People are. People are. They're done with J Cool's impressions. We love J. Cool forever. We will always love Jennifer Coolidge. She's iconic and I'm obsessed with her. But I think too many people got good at it.

[A]

Well, I mean, this usually comes up when we talk with people that do impressions. Impression. It's a weird thing to steal an impression because an impression is a steal. You're stealing it from the person, but.

[B]

Sometimes you're trying to be as accurate as possible to the actual person.

[A]

But they are the first little steal.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Once you have it, it is kind of easy to steal it. So, oh, I can't do it.

[B]

Right, Right.

[A]

And you go, oh, you found the phrases or whatever. Now I can do it. And everyone's doing it.

[B]

Yeah. Well, that's the whole thing. It's. It's. You're mimicking, and, like, so then people mimic you.

[A]

It's a mimic. Gets mimicked. Yeah.

[B]

But I'm also like, hey, I love that. And everyone's always like, how should I get into impressions? Whatever. I'm like, just do it. Just, like, start doing it. It.

[A]

Like, it has.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Wouldn't you say it has a lot to do with just believing and, like, who cares? Like, I'm just gonna try. Yeah. You just have to greenlight.

[B]

You have to put the ego aside and just try. Because a lot of times people will be like, try it. And then they'll go, that was so bad. And it's like, well, you know. And this is the thing I will say. I do think that I was like. I do think it's literally, like, I inherited this ability, like, to mimic from, like, my grandfather used to, like, do voices, and he used to, like, imitate bird sounds and stuff. So I. I really think that I was Jean. I think I was born with, like, an ear for it.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

But then I. But even from five years ago when I started making videos until now, I've, like, improved. Like, it's all changed and shifted. And I think because people go, do you think I could learn how to do impressions? And I'm like, truthfully, I think you can improve upon maybe an innate.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Ability. You know what I mean?

[A]

Grow it. Yeah. Yeah. Do you feel that way? Well, first of all, I'm flattered that you're even including me. I dabble.

[B]

Yeah. Well, giving Connecticut lady, Connecticut Mom. I dabble.

[A]

I dabble in impressions, but I just want to give respect to a true. And we've had other trues on the show, but, like, I think it's like doing a card trick. You can learn how to do a card trick. The real skill is to lower your heart rate and stay calm while you're doing. Doing it.

[B]

You're so right.

[A]

Right. It's the same with playing a song publicly. A lot of people can learn a song. You have to, like, get good at being calm while you're playing.

[B]

That's so interesting. That's so true. And, like. And not, like, actively judging yourself as it's happening.

[A]

You miss that note, hit the next note.

[B]

Well, it's like singing, too. Yeah, exactly. Like, I am a singer as well and, like, grew up singing. And I think the moment you start going, oh, that I missed a note. That didn't sound good. It's like, the whole thing derails.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But it's also interesting because my style of impressions, like, I really try to truly be as. As I was saying before, I get annoyed if I don't get as close to the real person as possible. But then there are other people who. Their style is more like a Jim Carrey style of, like. It's almost like a. A caricature of the person. And it's like you really. And it's so. It's so entertaining, and it is so accurate because you're like, oh, they're. But. But they're. They're. It's almost taking one aspect of a person and blowing it up to, you know, huge. So that's interesting to see, too, is like, there are different styles within impressions that people do. And for me, I don't know, it just. I. I love that style, and I think there's such a place for it because it's so funny a lot of the time. But for me, I just. It really. When someone really can just nail somebody, realistically, I'm like, that. That really feels like a dance.

[A]

It's like a magic trick.

[B]

Yeah, it does feel like a magic trick. Yeah.

[A]

When Taran Killam did Brad Pitt on this podcast, I Lost my Mom.

[B]

He's really, really good.

[A]

And he has a great Mulaney, too.

[B]

Does he?

[A]

His Mulaney is like.

[B]

I feel like I've seen that.

[A]

But he does this version of it where he goes, yeah. Which is you pitching a joke to John where he doesn't like it. He's like, yeah, but he's thinking of something brilliant.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Your dumb joke is just kind of in the way. Yeah.

[B]

Wow, that's so. That's very Mulaney.

[A]

It's very Trey.

[B]

And that's a new word. Trelani.

[A]

Well, let's close. Strong grape. Have you. Oh, I feel like I could talk to you forever. And I'm enjoying this very much, but. Oh, thanks.

[B]

All good things come to.

[A]

Well, you got a shorts on. He. Fucking.

[B]

Fucking boobs floating in the.

[A]

Fucking boobs. Boobs, booies. Floating like the. Like the Titanic.

[B]

That's pretty good.

[A]

Go again. Yeah, I was trying something.

[B]

Right. You can't judge yourself.

[A]

Exactly. This is what we just talked about. Anything unexplainable. I'm looking for ghosts.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I'm looking for psychics. I'm looking for UFOs. I'm looking for near death.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you got? What's weird that's happened to you?

[B]

I'll tell you of ghost experience. Well, is it ghost? I don't Know. So one day I was in my old apartment in New York, and I lived in Chelsea, and it was brag, actually, right across from UCB. So comedy 6 and 8. Always surrounded by comedy. I literally was. I was quite literally, like. I could see the ucb, like, line from my apartment, so I would, like, decide whether it was too long or not.

[A]

You just gave me such nostalgia.

[B]

I saw a lot of comedy in.

[A]

New York walking past that line, going down those stairs.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Form is one of the best. I. I think. Sorry.

[B]

I definitely think I saw you.

[A]

You must have. Yeah. At some point. But, like. Yeah, I think I even knew I was gonna say, like. Oh, I didn't even know I knew. I. Like, we had a feeling of, like, this is magic. This is like a good scene. Yeah, we're in a good scene.

[B]

Never any bad vibes down there.

[A]

No bad vibes. It was like a weird snowed in summer camp talent show.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you would murder. Speaking of Mulaney, we talked about whiplash. He was like, that feeling when the crowd is arcing towards you like a wave, and they don't even know that you have the. You haven't said the best line yet.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you have your fists and their chins towards you, and you just go.

[B]

What a great feeling, huh?

[A]

One of the best.

[B]

It's a high high. I wish I could do good, Mulaney.

[A]

I wish I could do this.

[B]

I don't think I'll ever be able to.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Taran can.

[A]

Taryn.

[B]

And I'm gonna be looking that up. Taran Killer can.

[A]

I'm loving it.

[B]

Well, it. Luckily, they didn't make him say that I'm loving it part.

[A]

He didn't do it.

[B]

He. He. He might have refused. He might have been like, that's a step too far. Yeah. He said off. Bridge. Too far. A bridge too far. A. Oh. I almost tried to get it. Bridges. A Bridges. Jeff Bridges joke into there. It's a Jeff Bridges. Too far.

[A]

Too far.

[B]

Yeah, there you go.

[A]

Look, it's my namesake.

[B]

Too far. I'm loving it. I wish I could do a Bridges. Maybe I'll be stealing this now that I know that it just is the tongue.

[A]

Tongue to the side. Hey, Bo, get us some McDonald's, man. I'm an old man.

[B]

Okay. The ghost.

[A]

The ghost.

[B]

This has been the ghost at. @ UCB adjacent apartment.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I was just, like, laying in my bed asleep, and I think I was actually very hungover from something. This was like, in my early 20s. And I opened my eyes and Turned to the right, and I had, like, a mirror on the wall next to my bed. And in the mirror, there was a woman standing over me, only in the mirror. And she. This sounds crazy.

[A]

Nobody likes this story. Nobody likes this story.

[B]

No.

[A]

But you know what?

[B]

I was overwhelmed with a feeling of, like, peace and, like, safety, and I felt like she was taking care of me.

[A]

A benevolent woman.

[B]

A benevolent woman. But she was dressed in, like, Civil War era. This is completely real.

[A]

She's taking care of you.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

This lady needs help. She's a woman.

[B]

But this is the thing, Pete.

[A]

Okay, Civil War.

[B]

This is. I'm going to sound so insane. Okay, this is the thing. I have always felt that in a past life, I died on the battlefield. The Civil War battlefield. Union soldiers. She was also. She gave me Union energy. So we feel good about her.

[A]

Big Union energy.

[B]

Big Union energy. But she was giving sort of like, nurse on the battlefield or whatever. Or like, I knew her or she was my wife or something. And I've always felt in a past life that I was hit with, like, a big, like, musket ball thing or whatever those are called.

[A]

True.

[B]

Yeah. And that. That's how I died. And I was like, oh, she's my purse. My wife from a past life, and she's watching over me. Me. And then I closed my eyes, and I was like, I'm not scared of her. She was, like, taking care of me. And then in my head, I said, who is that? Like, who. Who was that? Who was watching over me? Some. Some voice was like, it's my daughter. It's my daughter, and I'm Calhoun. And I was like, okay, what does that mean? This sounds great.

[A]

No, I'm loving it.

[B]

And then my mom was doing research for a book about the Civil War. My mom's an author, and she was doing. Writing a book about the Civil War, and she sent me a picture from a graveyard. She didn't know this story. Like, two days later, she sent me a picture from a graveyard.

[A]

Two days later.

[B]

Yes. And I think. I don't know where it was, but, like, a Civil War graveyard. And the name Calhoun was on the. The grave. Explain that. Isn't that crazy?

[A]

Explain that. Explain it to Chappelle.

[B]

Hi, everybody. Explain that. That.

[A]

How are you going to explain that?

[B]

Oh, that's good, too.

[A]

Yeah, I do. Young Chappelle.

[B]

I can't do. That's something that's fun, too, is people, as they age, you know, they're different.

[A]

Well, Keenan Thompson did Old Ch. Or current Chappelle, and he was so good. Anyway, I just. I want to give. Isn't that fascinating to that story?

[B]

Yeah. Weird.

[A]

Best ones ever.

[B]

It's weird.

[A]

That's Calhoun. I'm Calhoun. And that's.

[B]

I'm Calhoun. And that's my daughter. And I was like, six. She's watching over me. And I felt like she was, I don't know, my. My wife from a past life or something, or my sister, like, someone who was, like, taking care of me, I guess, because I was hungover.

[A]

She doesn't know.

[B]

She's like.

[A]

She just saw. Sweating.

[B]

I was gonna say she wants to pat my forehead. Yeah. So she was. She was watching over me back then. I call her my Civil War ghost.

[A]

And you haven't seen her since?

[B]

No.

[A]

Yikes.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Although. Okay. To throw a monkey wrench. If Calhoun was a soldier and that's his daughter, why would she be wearing Civil War garb?

[B]

She. I guess what I was saying was she was wearing Civil War era garb. Oh.

[A]

Not at a uniform.

[B]

No, she was. She was wearing, like a. Like a dress. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You're writing a song. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's perfect. Write that down. Oh, my God. That. That was a moment. I will say. That made me kind of go, all right, What's. What's.

[A]

What is this?

[B]

What is this? I. But it was. It was interesting. I've always felt like I did die in the Civil War in a past life.

[A]

Yeah. Why not?

[B]

So it kind of. It kind of was affirming for me to be honest. Why not?

[A]

I mean, I hear my father's voice going, more Americans died in the Civil War than all other wars combined.

[B]

Really?

[A]

But it's true. I think it might not be true because both sides were American.

[B]

Oh, true.

[A]

So it's everybody.

[B]

Yeah, it's everybody. Oh, God. That's too. That's too bad.

[A]

That's too bad.

[B]

That's too bad. And that's my take on the Civil War. That was too bad.

[A]

And now, our honorary speaker here at the cemetery at Gettysburg to speak on the tragedies of these times, please welcome poet laureate Mary Elizabeth Kelly. Mary.

[B]

Yeah, it was too bad.

[A]

She appears to be done.

[B]

I'm spelling over four score and seven.

[A]

Up tens years ago call back of the century Lincoln quote, best callback of 2025. I'm gonna call it.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And Lisa Gilroy was two days ago, so.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. Thank God. I'm after her.

[A]

Thank God. She's so good.

[B]

She's so good.

[A]

She's so fun. So are you.

[B]

Great person. Great People.

[A]

Great people. Good, good, Great people. Love the ground. Beautiful show. They'd get a suggestion.

[B]

Oh, no, we can't end on Trump.

[A]

No Drew Barrymore.

[B]

We'll end on her.

[A]

Drew, what did you think of 7Up? 10.

[B]

Only 10 calories. Amazing.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

10 grams of sugar or. I don't know. No, 10 calories.

[A]

10 grams of sugar would be regular.

[B]

Regular soda. Actually, probably more like 30.

[A]

Like 30. Yeah. Welcome to LA, baby. We both knew how many grams of sugar in a Coke. Tell me you live in LA, but don't tell me you live in LA. Yeah, it's 33, I think.

[B]

I think you're right.

[A]

Yeah, I know it's nuts, but it's so good when you have a tummy ache.

[B]

Oh, my God, I love a Coke.

[A]

Go to cocacola.com stereotypes Mary, do you like the full Mary Elizabeth?

[B]

Doesn't matter to me. My family calls me Mary Liz. Mary Elizabeth.

[A]

Right. I. I went right to the family. Mary Liz.

[B]

We're fam.

[A]

Thank you for doing it.

[B]

Thank you for doing it.

[A]

Would you say, keep it crispy? It's how we end. You don't have to say it in a voice. Let's just hear in your regular. Or you want to.

[B]

Thank you. No, that's. That's refreshing.

[A]

Said it. Just say keep it crispy in your regular Mary Liz voice.

[B]

Keep it crispy.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you very much.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Goodbye.

[B]

Goodbye. It.