Podcast Summary
You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Episode: Remembering Kenny DeForest (Dec 20, 2023)
A moving re-release of comedian Kenny DeForest’s episode, celebrating his humor, warmth, and spirit after his untimely passing. Pete Holmes and his panel explore personal growth, masculinity, comedy, psychedelic experiences, and the quest for identity, blending vulnerability with comedic insight.
Main Theme & Purpose
This episode is both a celebration and a memorial of Kenny DeForest: his talent, kindness, and comedic perspective. It features the full original interview, traversing topics like sobriety, masculinity, psychedelics, personal growth, and the “weirdness” inherent in being human—all through a comic, self-deprecating, and authentically vulnerable lens.
Key Discussion Points
1. The Value of Curiosity and Staying Engaged (00:12–03:40)
- A tribute to Norman Lear is played, reflecting on lifelong curiosity and the value of treasuring each moment.
- Norman Lear’s philosophy: "If it took all that time to get to this moment, why wouldn't I treasure the moment?"
(Guest Comedian, 03:10)
- Norman Lear’s philosophy: "If it took all that time to get to this moment, why wouldn't I treasure the moment?"
2. Sobriety, Booze, and Chasing Fun (05:12–13:12)
- Kenny and Pete share stories about alcohol use in the comedy world, job losses due to drinking, and growing out of destructive habits.
- Kenny reflects on cultural influences from the Midwest: “Where I grew up, it’s the Midwest. It's a cultural thing. We drink and we drink hard.”
(Kenny DeForest, 13:25)
- Kenny reflects on cultural influences from the Midwest: “Where I grew up, it’s the Midwest. It's a cultural thing. We drink and we drink hard.”
- Both discuss the insecurity underlying youthful excess and the shift toward self-awareness.
3. Comedy, Identity, and Copying Heroes (15:03–28:41)
- The panel jokes about comedians mimicking their idols (Bill Burr, Louis CK, Dane Cook), and how finding your comedic voice is a journey through imitation.
- On becoming yourself through comedy:
- “So much of my 20s has been rediscovering who I actually am. So much of my young life was me trying to project what I thought other people wanted me to be.”
(Guest Comedian, 28:25)
- “So much of my 20s has been rediscovering who I actually am. So much of my young life was me trying to project what I thought other people wanted me to be.”
- On becoming yourself through comedy:
- Discussion of high school and identity: choosing roles (jock, nerd, goth) and shaping oneself to fit expectations.
4. Religion, Sexuality, and the Midwest (34:04–41:14)
- Kenny’s religious upbringing as a Catholic in an evangelical region, and grappling with religious guilt “when you’re maybe the horniest teenage boy ever existed.”
- “There’s so much sexual guilt in Catholicism, and I was maybe the horniest teenage boy that’s ever existed."
(Guest Comedian, 35:11)
- “There’s so much sexual guilt in Catholicism, and I was maybe the horniest teenage boy that’s ever existed."
5. Psychedelic Experiences & Spiritual Growth (44:45–73:03, 108:59–124:26, 135:44–149:21)
- Kenny and Pete discuss their first mushroom trips, DMT, and how psychedelics can dissolve ego, provoke deep self-reflection, and foster spirituality outside traditional religion.
- Kenny’s life-changing Bonnaroo mushroom trip:
- “I looked up in the clouds, and I saw my folks up there...basically them in the clouds being like, ‘We support you. We love you. Don’t be an idiot.’”
(Guest Comedian, 115:24)
- “I looked up in the clouds, and I saw my folks up there...basically them in the clouds being like, ‘We support you. We love you. Don’t be an idiot.’”
- DMT trip revelations:
- “There were these, like, three cosmic beings, and they were just very much like, ‘Hey, dude, we’ve been waiting for you.’”
(Guest Comedian, 136:41)
- “There were these, like, three cosmic beings, and they were just very much like, ‘Hey, dude, we’ve been waiting for you.’”
- Psychedelics as spiritual: “I’m not a good atheist. I need to believe in something... Psychedelics provide a way of like, I can search for spirituality in another realm.”
(Guest Comedian, 44:21) - “Let it, let it, let it. And then be it. Just be it.” — mantra and tattoo from Kenny’s transformative trip.
(Guest Comedian, 118:02)
- Kenny’s life-changing Bonnaroo mushroom trip:
6. Masculinity, Insecurity, and Breaking Stereotypes (45:39–77:54)
- Kenny’s bit on toxic masculinity:
- “Toxic masculinity is just internalized homophobia in men...what it states is, as a straight man, you should never do anything that might be perceived as gay—including trying at anything at all.”
(Guest Comedian, 46:27)
- “Toxic masculinity is just internalized homophobia in men...what it states is, as a straight man, you should never do anything that might be perceived as gay—including trying at anything at all.”
- Embracing gentleness and vulnerability as true masculinity.
- “Now that I’m sort of embracing my soft side, I actually feel more of a man.”
(Guest Comedian, 76:46)
- “Now that I’m sort of embracing my soft side, I actually feel more of a man.”
7. Comedy as One’s True Self (59:01–73:03)
- Multiple “roles” (athlete, prep, cowboy, farmer, etc.) and the realization that true self is the witness to these all.
- Pete: “Spirituality is like, what didn’t change between that and this? What was the constant? And that’s who you really are.”
(Pete Holmes, 59:40)
- Pete: “Spirituality is like, what didn’t change between that and this? What was the constant? And that’s who you really are.”
8. Funny Anecdotes and Classic Bits
- Hilarious “gross guy apartment” stories (49:09–52:29)
- “Fart block” hockey story: “I made a save with a fart. The ball did not cross the line.”
(Guest Comedian, 163:11) - “If you’ve made a Comedy Soapbox profile before doing standup...you might be a standup comedian.”
(Guest Comedian, 83:54)
9. Ghosts, Unexplainable Phenomena, and Mushrooms (168:26–175:51)
- Kenny describes a bizarre “ghost blueberry muffin” encounter and apartment mishaps.
- “There is a glass beer bottle on the floor of the kitchen, and it’s spinning slowly. And on the oven, one of the ranges is turned to high…The only thing I can think is maybe if I left the range on, and then the cat bumped the pizza box over the edge, and then perfectly stepped on the thing turning it to high.”
(Guest Comedian, 171:08–171:46)
- “There is a glass beer bottle on the floor of the kitchen, and it’s spinning slowly. And on the oven, one of the ranges is turned to high…The only thing I can think is maybe if I left the range on, and then the cat bumped the pizza box over the edge, and then perfectly stepped on the thing turning it to high.”
- UFO-like sighting in Joshua Tree while tripping.
10. Philosophy, Spirituality, and Being (155:04–160:49)
- Pete and Kenny agree on the mystical concept that “God isn’t a being; God is being.”
- “I say it to Val all the time: being can only be recognized by being. That is the epiphany of all the great mystics—God is being.”
(Pete Holmes, 158:44)
- “I say it to Val all the time: being can only be recognized by being. That is the epiphany of all the great mystics—God is being.”
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On Curiosity and Aging:
“If it took me every split second of my life to get here, to walk into the room and see Judd here, which was a kick in the head—I mean, I love it. Why wouldn’t I treasure the moment?”
(Guest Comedian, Tribute Clip, 03:10) -
On Identity:
“So much of my life was me trying to project what I thought people wanted me to be.”
(Guest Comedian, 28:25) -
On Toxic Masculinity:
“As a straight man, you should never do anything that might be perceived as gay—including trying just at anything at all.”
(Guest Comedian, 46:27) -
On Psychedelics:
“I’m not a good atheist. I need to believe in something…Psychedelics provide a way of like, I can search for spirituality in another realm.”
(Guest Comedian, 44:21) -
On Comedy:
“Be comedy. Don’t be funny. Just be comedy.”
(Ram Dass via Pete Holmes, 118:21) -
On Love and Meaning:
“Nothing matters except for family, friends, and love. The veil is very thin and I’m always with you.”
(Guest Comedian, relaying an ayahuasca vision, 149:43)
Timestamps for Important Segments
| Time | Segment | Content | |:-----------:|--------------------------------------------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:12–03:40 | Tribute, Norman Lear philosophy | On curiosity, treasuring moments | | 05:12–13:12 | Booze & Comedy | Drinking stories, job losses, Midwest drinking culture | | 15:03–28:41 | Copying Idols, Finding Self | Comedian mimicry, high school identity, creativity | | 34:04–41:14 | Religion, Guilt, Sexuality | Catholic guilt, sexuality, early experiences | | 44:45–73:03 | Psychedelics, Spirituality | Mushrooms, ego, embracing being, “Let it be it” mantra | | 45:39–77:54 | Masculinity, Vulnerability | Breaking masculine stereotypes, embracing softness / vulnerability | | 83:54–93:02 | Early Comedy, First Standup | First open mic stories, writing jokes as a kid | | 108:59–124:26 | Mushrooms, Identity, “Be Comedy” | Psychedelic revelations, being present onstage, comedy as presence | | 135:44–149:21 | DMT Experience | Cosmic beings, world peace vision, “surgery,” spiritual insight | | 155:04–160:49 | Philosophy: God as Being | Mystical insight, all religions, being is God | | 168:26–175:51 | Ghosts & UFOs | Blueberry muffin haunting, tripping in Joshua Tree | | 163:11 | Fart block hockey story | Hysterical, unique personal anecdote |
Signature Moments / Kenny’s Legacy
- The “Let it, let it, let it. Be it.” mantra—Kenny’s tattoo and philosophy for living with less fear and more authenticity.
- Bold, silly, and unfiltered moments—gross, funny, and embarrassing stories shared without shame.
- Sincere, emotional talk about the importance of friends, family, and love: “Nothing matters except for family, friends, and love.”
- A beautiful tribute to the power of presence, playfulness, and always embracing your “weirdness.”
Tone & Language
The tone is relentlessly playful, goofy, and irreverent, but frequently turns sincere, vulnerable, and at times philosophical. There's strong camaraderie and mutual admiration. The speakers remain true to themselves, oscillating easily between deep insight and wild, silly riffing.
In Kenny’s Spirit
“Just let it and be it. Chill out, dude.” (Kenny DeForest, 118:43)
For Listeners New and Old
This episode encapsulates the magic of Kenny DeForest—his humor, honesty, and willingness to go deep and weird, all while making you laugh. Whether you’re here to remember a friend or discover a comedian, it’s a tour through the humanity, struggle, and joy that define both comedy and life.