Samba Schutte

Summary

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Guest: Samba Schutte
Date: April 24, 2024

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Overview

In this vibrant and deeply personal episode, Pete Holmes sits down with comedian and actor Samba Schutte (known for "Our Flag Means Death") to unearth the weird and wonderful truths of Samba's multinational upbringing, his journey through comedy and acting across continents, and his uniquely positive worldview. Overflowing with playful riffs, cultural explorations, and reflections on privilege, struggle, and the dance of life and death, the episode offers an unusually honest look at ambition, adversity, and the quiet power of optimism.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ethiopian Honey Wine, Weddings, and Weird Traditions

Timestamps: 01:15 – 04:30

• Samba kicks off the episode by gifting Pete a bottle of Ethiopian honey wine (mead), prompting Pete to riff on the "honeymoon" etymology.
• Samba recounts his improvised, budget-friendly wedding in a Beverly Hills park—complete with IKEA pillows for guests and “returning the pillows” afterwards, referencing the bathroom in the park where George Michael was famously arrested.
• Memorable Quote:
  • Samba: “We bought like 30 pillows from IKEA, put them on the floor. Pillows allowed. Returned the pillows once the wedding was over.” [03:02]

2. Childhood in Mauritania and Ethiopia

Timestamps: 07:40 – 20:29

• Samba details his birth in Mauritania, upbringing in Ethiopia, and parents’ backgrounds (Dutch Christian father, Mauritanian Muslim mother).
• Explains Mauritania’s sand-filled environment, Chinese infrastructure investments in Africa, and why these developments rarely benefit ordinary citizens.
• Pete’s attempts to relate Western capitalist values with childhood playground dynamics, leading to a discussion of “castle laws” in the US.
• Memorable Quote:
  • “China’s taking over Africa because they’re making great deals for the resources and so in exchange they’re giving infrastructure. So a lot of African countries that are very poor now have five lane highways but no cars to like fill them up.” – Samba [09:31]

3. The Impact of Conflict and Privilege

Timestamps: 20:30 – 28:02

• Samba narrates being evacuated due to Ethiopian civil war as a child; reflects on his first-hand experience of white privilege—“foreigners were evacuated first.”
• Grapples with the moral and emotional complications of leaving his friends behind, and how these early exposures to poverty and conflict shaped his values.
• “The only time I experienced white privilege was when there was a civil war in Ethiopia and we were evacuated first. And I left my friends there, and I was like, oh, this is what white privilege is.” – Samba [20:32]

4. Comedy Origin Story: Outsider to Entertainer

Timestamps: 28:03 – 41:03

• Describes how being bullied in school (as a mixed-race outsider) prompted him to use humor as a defense, culminating in “diss battles” that built his comic voice.
• First exposure to stand-up through a bootleg Bill Cosby VHS in Ethiopia; later, inspiration from Eddie Murphy.
• Reveals the pivotal memory of hiring a school bodyguard (for 50 cents/month) who ultimately became his bully and the poetic revenge of publicly clowning him with comedy.
• Memorable Quote:
  • “After that day, I didn’t get bullied again. But I discovered that comedy was my weapon.” – Samba [39:23]

5. Cultural Adjustment: Comedy in Holland & The Power of Physicality

Timestamps: 54:24 – 79:06

• Receives parental permission to study acting, so long as he also gets a teaching degree for safety.
• Accidentally discovers stand-up at an open mic (performing a monologue with a mic, mistaken for stand-up).
• Chronicles the struggle of doing stand-up in Dutch (his 4th language) and using physical comedy to overcome language barriers.
• Eventually wins Holland’s most prestigious national comedy competition as a physical comic using a djembe (African drum) as a symbol of “harmonizing his halves.”
• Explains the peculiar Dutch comedy audience—reserved during performance, ferocious with post-show standing ovations.
• Memorable Quote:
  • “The Jembe is a symbol for my story. I’m half African, half European, half white, half black… and the only way I can have harmony is by embracing both and choosing the middle.” – Samba [68:01]
• Dutch Comedy Culture:
  • “They’ll not laugh out loud fully… They respect the art form so much, they don’t want to interrupt you.” – Samba [72:52]

6. The Move to America: Immigration Hurdles and “Extraordinary Ability”

Timestamps: 83:09 – 92:41

• Samba discusses the grueling process of gaining an O-1 visa (for “aliens of extraordinary ability”) and later, a green card—each requiring proof of awards, celebrity letters, and professional distinction.
• Recounts his first big US audition—for the TV show "Outsourced"—and losing the role because O-1s weren’t sufficient for network hires.
• Finally lands a breakthrough as the first Ethiopian series regular on American network TV (NBC’s "Sunnyside")—after years of roadblocks.
• Memorable Quote:
  • “There are 10 criteria…you have to prove you’re a celebrity, outstanding in your field, make more money…and celebrities endorse you…You have to sound extraordinary. And then the immigration officer goes, okay.” – Samba [83:13]

7. Hollywood Breakthrough: “Our Flag Means Death”

Timestamps: 94:59 – 98:14

• Tells the story of landing "Our Flag Means Death"—a role he tailored to his Mauritanian roots, going so far as to explain Berber pirate history in his audition slate.
• Reflects on the massive fan response, sudden show cancelation, and the irony of his son being born the same day he learned the show was ending.
• Memorable Quote:
  • “It was a weird day…your son is being born. New life is coming…On the other hand, your show is cancelled…a weird dance by the universe.” – Samba [98:16]

8. Parenting, Community, and Surviving the Early Months

Timestamps: 101:34 – 108:56

• Discusses the challenges and exhaustion of early parenthood, especially lacking an extended family/village in America.
• Pete and Samba spare no honesty about the isolation and logistical headaches parents face, longing for communal childcare.
• Notable Exchange:
  • Pete: “Raising kids is, is, is sort of the—one of the worst things about [modern isolation]… You see, it’s us, it’s you and your partner, and you’re like, we need five more people.” [104:44]
  • Samba: “My whole family is on the other side of the world…so it’s really my wife’s family that has had to step in.” [105:54]

9. Spiritual Perspective: Life, Death, Connection

Timestamps: 120:59 – 133:39

• Samba shares his pluralistic religious upbringing—Muslim mother, Christian father, encouraged to "find your own spirituality."
• Describes his personal spiritual philosophy: life is about the imprint you leave behind, experiences from the view of others, practicing the golden rule in day-to-day life.
• Pete and Samba explore nondualism, interconnectedness, impermanence, and the “dreamlike” quality of existence—a recurring theme in Pete’s spiritual journey.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Once you pass away…you get a review of your life from the point of view of everyone else. Not your point of view…That’s what life is about. Us all being the same, us all being one. And what I do to you affects me, because you are me.” – Samba [123:09]

10. Weirdest Experiences: Winning Hard, Laughing Hard, Seeing UFOs

Timestamps: 134:25 – 141:41

• Samba’s hardest laughs: watching The Waterboy on an airplane as a child, laughing so hard he was shaken by other passengers.
• First LA side-job: palm reading at a psychic shop (Libertate Emporium), revealing his capacity for intuitive understanding, and debating the “reality” of such mystical experiences.
• Pete and Samba riff on nonduality, psychic phenomena, and Samba shares seeing a triangular UFO formation in college.
• Memorable Quote:
  • Pete: “Who has the technology to be a slice of pizza that can fly impossibly but doesn't have cloaking ability?” [140:57]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Sometimes, you see a great bathroom.” – Pete Holmes, on George Michael [03:31]
• “We bought, like, 30 pillows from IKEA. Pillows are allowed. Returned the pillows once the wedding was over.” – Samba [03:02]
• “So, yeah, it was a weird day of leaving school and being on a plane to run away while your friends are crying… and you’re like, I’m sorry. I’ll be back with candies from Holland.” – Samba [23:40]
• “After that day, I didn’t get bullied again. But I discovered that comedy was my weapon.” – Samba [39:23]
• “They’ll not laugh out loud fully… They respect the art form so much, they don’t want to interrupt you.” – Samba, on Dutch comedy audiences [72:52]
• “There are 10 criteria…you have to prove you’re a celebrity, outstanding in your field, make more money…and celebrities endorse you…You have to sound extraordinary. And then the immigration officer goes, okay.” – Samba [83:13]
• “It was a weird day…your son is being born. New life is coming…On the other hand, your show is cancelled…a weird dance by the universe.” – Samba [98:16]
• “Life is like a CD. Each track is a different dimension… you’re on track one, and when you die, you go to track two or three or four or five.” – Samba [126:31]
• “Once you pass away…you get a review of your life from the point of view of everyone else.” – Samba [123:09]

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Additional Highlights

• Steven Spielberg Video Game: At age 12 in Ethiopia, Samba became obsessed with "Steven Spielberg’s Director’s Chair," a little-known computer game allowing players to make movies with digitized performances from Tarantino, Jennifer Aniston, and Penn & Teller. His first time on the Universal lot as an adult was deeply surreal for this reason.
• Cultural Chameleon: Samba spontaneously blends languages, accents, and customs, illustrating both the richness and awkwardness of cross-cultural life.
• Parenting & Perspective: The joys and struggles of new fatherhood are threaded throughout, with Pete offering both solidarity and practical advice.
• Optimism as Grounding Principle: Samba’s resilience and positive outlook—rooted in both spiritual seeking and lived hardship—emerge as his core weirdness and his greatest strength.

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:15] – Ethiopian honey wine & wedding stories
• [07:40] – Childhood in Mauritania, Chinese influence in Africa
• [20:30] – Civil war, white privilege, and evacuation
• [28:03] – Comedy as self-defense, bullying stories
• [54:24] – Monologues, open mics, discovering stand-up
• [68:01] – National comedy competition in Holland & physical comedy
• [83:09] – US immigration hurdles, “alien of extraordinary ability”
• [94:59] – Audition and landing “Our Flag Means Death”
• [101:34] – Parenting struggles, isolation, and longing for community
• [120:59] – Spiritual worldview, life imprint, nondualism
• [134:25] – Deepest laughs, palm reading, UFO sighting

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Tone & Style

The tone is playful, self-deprecating, and at times, deeply earnest. Pete Holmes oscillates between enthusiastic riffing, compassionate listening, and spiritual pondering, while Samba matches his energy with vulnerability, wit, and disarming positivity.

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For New Listeners

This episode offers an inspiring and truly "weird" window into how comedy, hardship, and compassion can uniquely combine in a global citizen's life. Samba’s story is as much about laughing in the face of adversity as it is about following your bliss and trusting the universe, however strange its timing may be.

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Final Word:
“Keep it crispy.” — [144:10] Samba, as his pirate character

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Transcript

[Pete Holmes]

You made it with.

[Samba Schutte]

You made it with.

[Pete Holmes]

You made it with.

[Samba Schutte]

Oh yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You made it weird. Yes, you made it weird. You made it weird with Pete Holmes. What's happening, weirdos? This is samba. Shoot. Samba is incredible. He's a comedian, he's an actor. You may know him from the Incredible Max show. Our flag means death. But even if you're not familiar with him, you are about to be. And you are about to be death. Delighted. He is incredible. Very, very, very interesting story and I'm glad you guys are here to check it out. Not much to say here. Up top. Go to PeteHomes.com for tour dates. I added a. A sixth show in Chicago, late show on Thursday. We're also going to be in Texas and Pennsylvania. All of Those are on PeteHomes.com and as I've been plugging May 4th here in Los Angeles for the Netflix is a joke fest. All of those Tickets are on petehomes.com Hope to see you out. And in the meantime, you enjoy the incredible samba Shoot. I'm so glad you're here. Let's enjoy together. Get into it. You brought Ethiopian honey wine. At least show it off. Sit and show us the bottle. Show us your gift that won't be enjoyed.

[Samba Schutte]

I'll go back in my fridge.

[Pete Holmes]

Now. Let me see.

[Samba Schutte]

It's meat.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, you tell me. Ethiopian honeymoon. But I believe that this is where we get the term honeymoon. Because honey liquor was given to the bride and groom on their wedding night.

[Samba Schutte]

Are you serious?

[Pete Holmes]

I believe so. So you gave me a bottle of wine that I won't use or enjoy. And I gave you a piece of knowledge that you won't use or enjoy.

[Samba Schutte]

What a beautiful exchange. I can go back home and tell it to my wife. Lets enjoy this honey wine.

[Pete Holmes]

And I can tell my wife Samba gave us some wine. You know, Val might enjoy it.

[Samba Schutte]

Does she?

[Pete Holmes]

Does she drinks?

[Samba Schutte]

Then I'm.

[Pete Holmes]

She's got a problem.

[Samba Schutte]

She's like her.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm just kidding.

[Samba Schutte]

No. Then I'll give it to her.

[Pete Holmes]

She would love it.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. So yes, I'm sorry that your wedding night is already passed. So I'm sorry you can't enjoy it, but. No, my pleasure.

[Pete Holmes]

It's over. My wedding. How was your wedding? You're a married mother.

[Samba Schutte]

I'm a married. Been married for. You know, one of those married.

[Pete Holmes]

Trying to make it cool.

[Samba Schutte]

I got married in 2015, eight years ago in a park in Beverly Hills. We didn't have money to have a big ceremony.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh wow.

[Samba Schutte]

So you know that park squatted we squat in the park. You're not allowed to have chairs. So we found a way around the rules. We bought.

[Pete Holmes]

You did it like a quinceanera.

[Samba Schutte]

We know. We. We bought pillows from IKEA. Like, there was only like, 30 guests. Like, all my wife's family. Because my family's all, like, sure. Around the world. They were FaceTime.

[Pete Holmes]

By the way, no disrespect to Kinceniera games.

[Samba Schutte]

No, no. They know how to fight. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What I'm saying is you figured out what we figured. You did the max.

[Samba Schutte]

Absolutely. We bought, like, 30 pillows from IKEA. Put them on the floor.

[Pete Holmes]

Pillows allowed.

[Samba Schutte]

Pillows are allowed. Returned the pillows once the wedding was over.

[Pete Holmes]

Take that. Yeah, take that wedding.

[Samba Schutte]

And it was the park where George Michael got busted in the bathroom. Wow. Yeah. So it was a nice, memorable, most.

[Pete Holmes]

Famous thing that's happened.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So that park is in England.

[Samba Schutte]

Beverly Hills. Right across the Beverly Hills Hotel.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I think George Michael did his wackadoos over.

[Samba Schutte]

No, it was Beverly Hills. A nice bathroom, nice park, nice bathroom. I don't blame him.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, sometimes you see a great bathroom.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

How do you make fun of this?

[Samba Schutte]

You can't.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I mean?

[Samba Schutte]

You know, he's passed away. It's gone.

[Pete Holmes]

Did he die?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I didn't know George Michael died.

[Samba Schutte]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

When did he die?

[Samba Schutte]

Last Christmas. I gave him. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm sorry.

[Samba Schutte]

It was just there. It was right there.

[Pete Holmes]

And you did a very good.

[Samba Schutte]

Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

I didn't know he passed away.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Come on, come on. It's just morning rape.

[Samba Schutte]

I know. It's just a Wham. Wham.

[Pete Holmes]

Nobody's waking him up. Before he goes. Traffic on the one. Let's talk to the flea. It's the same guy just doing an offensive voice. I don't know if that's okay.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Good to see you married in the same park. Michael.

[Samba Schutte]

George Michael.

[Pete Holmes]

George.

[Samba Schutte]

Not Michael Jackson.

[Pete Holmes]

George Michael Jackson.

[Samba Schutte]

George Michael Jackson Jr. Got busted in the bathroom.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't say busted.

[Samba Schutte]

Well. Well, maybe he did.

[Pete Holmes]

But what was he. What was he arrested for?

[Samba Schutte]

Sex. Sex. Or blowjobbing or something in the public. That's not allowed in public in California.

[Pete Holmes]

Even here.

[Samba Schutte]

Surprisingly so. This is America.

[Pete Holmes]

I know. In California, too. Yeah, I just found that out. I was talking to somebody. You see your dad now?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And my daughter and I were in the park. Not that park, a different park. And her. Leela's friend Nico brought a baseball and a bat. Little foam bat. And they played. And, and, you know, I'm that dad. I love it again, everybody. And we got fielders going. It was awesome. I got to feel athletic and slow, low pitching. Slow, low. Kids are getting hits. It was amazing.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then after about 40 minutes, and I, in my opinion, we were really just finding our groove. Leela got two great hits, by the way, Nico, whose bat it was, every time he was at Batman, he's whacking it all the way into the playground.

[Samba Schutte]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

It's awesome. These are like five year old kids.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's pretty fun.

[Samba Schutte]

Nice.

[Pete Holmes]

Then at some point, Nico goes, I don't want to play anymore. But he doesn't go, you guys, you seem to be having a fun time. Kids don't do that. No, kids don't go, like, clearly. No, you're having fun. Yeah, I know it's my bat, but what am I going to do with it? No, just put it over there.

[Samba Schutte]

Not going to ruin it for you.

[Pete Holmes]

Not going to ruin it for you. You keep playing.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And he, he, he took it and everybody was just including me. We were just kind of like, well, that's, you know, that's his choice. And I was like, it's funny how quickly that starts from that very, in my opinion, Western capitalist kind of idea. My bat ownership being 9, 10 of the law.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And possession being 9, 10 is mine.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

I think from that, it's not that far down from that agreed upon belief to, if you're in my house, I can shoot you.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

I think it's the same thing.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like, my bat, my ball, I can leave.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

My house, my driveway. Can shoot you.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Isn't that crazy?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And what brought that to mind was even in California, we have, and it's called the Castle Law.

[Samba Schutte]

Get out of here.

[Pete Holmes]

Which is like, king of the castle. Someone's in your house, you can shoot them.

[Samba Schutte]

Really? Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I, and I. Somebody was like, yeah, it's a big California thing. I was like, for some reason, no disrespect, New York, I thought there was like a New York thing, like, oh, get the fuck out of my property. But New York's like, hey, hey, man, get the out of here, man. Blow your head off, man. And I will. I won't serve a day, man. It's. It's Jeff Bridges.

[Samba Schutte]

It's called. That's Jeff Bridges.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not good when you have to.

[Samba Schutte]

Tell, hey, man, I'm not, I'm just. It was the excuse. I'm not from Here. That's my excuse for things I don't understand.

[Pete Holmes]

Ethiopia.

[Samba Schutte]

Grew up there.

[Pete Holmes]

No, George Michael was dead, so.

[Samba Schutte]

No, that's fine.

[Pete Holmes]

Can I claim information?

[Samba Schutte]

You can just be like, sorry, guys. Be like, it's mine. Nine tenths possession. Now I know where you're from. Ticket. I didn't know it was called the Castle Law. That's such a weird law.

[Pete Holmes]

You can tell? Just some, like, rock hard senators, like, they had erections.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, they're like, let's be royal. Yeah, let's be royal.

[Pete Holmes]

Anyway, so you are from. From Ethiopia.

[Samba Schutte]

No, no, grew up. Grew up in Ethiopia.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. From.

[Samba Schutte]

From. From. From Mauritania.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Samba Schutte]

Which is. No one knows where it is. Don't blame them. Yeah. Sahara Desert.

[Pete Holmes]

Katie and I were just talking about Mauritania and we didn't even know how to say it.

[Samba Schutte]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, now I'm just acting. Did you notice how quickly I rolled with it?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, you did.

[Pete Holmes]

Katie and I were just talking about Moran.

[Samba Schutte]

We were just in Mauritania researching people.

[Pete Holmes]

Really powerful. And they speak.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, French, French, French. And their local languages, which is Pular. And the Arabic variation, which is hasania. But the French took over the desert.

[Pete Holmes]

Hassan. Sounds delicious. Certain languages sound more delicious than they do.

[Samba Schutte]

They do English.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not a surprise English food is not good.

[Samba Schutte]

No, it's like flavorless chicken. Urdu, Urdu, Urdu, Swahili.

[Pete Holmes]

Mexicano is so good. I said it a little too stereotypical, but I just meant like, Mexicano.

[Samba Schutte]

It kind of came out like Speedy Gonzalez.

[Pete Holmes]

And I didn't mean that.

[Samba Schutte]

That's the flavor in your mouth.

[Pete Holmes]

That was flavor.

[Samba Schutte]

The flavor in your mouth.

[Pete Holmes]

Mauritania sounds like decent food.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, I mean, it's. I mean, it's by the sea, so it's a lot of fish. Okay. It's a huge desert. Just Sahara Desert. Just sand everywhere. Even the roads. Like, we have paved roads, but the sidewalks are just sand. Sandwalks.

[Pete Holmes]

You got sandwiches.

[Samba Schutte]

We got sandwalks in Mauritania. So that's where I was born. Mother's from there.

[Pete Holmes]

We were on the sidewalk. Should I be able to trace our steps?

[Samba Schutte]

People can follow you home. In Mauritania, if you walk on the.

[Pete Holmes]

Sidewalk, you'll know if a horse was near Mauritania.

[Samba Schutte]

Mauritania.

[Pete Holmes]

Was there a snake or is that a stick? You don't know?

[Samba Schutte]

No. You don't know. There's going to be trails in the sand. So the Chinese came over there and really developed it. So now, like, China's taking over Africa because they're making great deals for the resources and so in exchange they're giving infrastructure. So a lot of African countries that are very poor now have five lane highways but no cars to like fill them up. And that's Mauritania's. It's like wide ass roads, traffic lights that no one respects.

[Pete Holmes]

Because why, why one dingus in Mauritania at a four way intersection, no one is there.

[Samba Schutte]

No, it's like I'm not going to break the law.

[Pete Holmes]

Cell phone stuff, like the battery stuff, Is it like that?

[Samba Schutte]

They have a lot of. Yeah. Cell phone deals stuff now. So yeah. I still have family members who do not have Internet which is really interesting in this day and age. But yeah, no, a lot of cell phones now like becoming very modern.

[Pete Holmes]

Whereas the country this Chinese.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, wow. Influence. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not just global happenings that I'm ignorant to. Katie will tell you I don't know what's happening here. So don't feel like you're talking to typical American doesn't know about the Chinese influenced infrastructure in most of Africa due to resources. But that's really interesting. Yeah, but the people aren't coming up with the infrastructure and they build.

[Samba Schutte]

You have to be the Mauritanians ambassador.

[Pete Holmes]

But I mean you're saying like there aren't people like using this stuff. But is the whole economy not kind of doing better?

[Samba Schutte]

The economy for the people? Not for the people. The people in power have the money and it's not filtering down to you know, the rest of the people. Which is a shame.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

And that's unfortunately a lot of the story in Africa. It's like in Zimbabwe you see that in different developing countries it's like the money goes to the people who make the deals and it doesn't filter down to the population. Right. Which is kind of like America in a way.

[Pete Holmes]

I was just gonna say. Yeah, but didn't. Did you still help me?

[Samba Schutte]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

Because America certainly has a lot of that but not, not full corruption. That seems like full corruption.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't we still kind of. Now we're just two guys talking. You don't have to be the representative.

[Samba Schutte]

I'm the representative.

[Pete Holmes]

That explains the expert. But it seems like it seems like we're, you know, there has to be some fairness to like capitalism. I remember Bono. Here's a quote for you. Bono was like, I'm not anti capitalism. He's like, I wish Africa, because he has such a heart for Africa had more capitalism. What do you. It looked like he had a take on that.

[Samba Schutte]

Well, I have a Take on Bono. I have a take. I have a take on Bono.

[Pete Holmes]

Did you get.

[Samba Schutte]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Are you gonna get divorced in the park where he wrote one?

[Samba Schutte]

That's where I break up.

[Pete Holmes]

That's where it ends.

[Samba Schutte]

That's where it ends.

[Pete Holmes]

You're just like, no. When you and your wife are fighting, you're like, should I swing by?

[Samba Schutte]

Yes, I just. Bonnet Park. I'm going to drive by at that park.

[Pete Holmes]

You want to. Where's this end? George Michael or Bono?

[Samba Schutte]

No, there's that Bono joke, you know, where he's on a concert and he's like, every five. You know, he's clapping. He's like. He's getting the audience to clap. He's like, every time I clap, one child dies of malaria in Africa. And then one guy goes, then stop clapping, you asshole. That's the Bono joke. So. No, Bono's done great for Africa. Just like Bob Kennedy.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I guess. Go ahead. What were you saying?

[Samba Schutte]

No, Bob Geldof, Bono, those are the icons who started, like, movements in Africa, kind of like developing work in Africa. Yeah, but I don't know. There's capitalism in Africa for sure. There's some African countries that are way more developed than others.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

I'm just saying Mauritania is slowly getting there, but when you go there, you do feel like you time traveled to and when.

[Pete Holmes]

To another time.

[Samba Schutte]

To another time.

[Pete Holmes]

An earlier time.

[Samba Schutte]

An earlier time.

[Pete Holmes]

Or like a Star Wars.

[Samba Schutte]

No, I mean, you do feel like you're on another planet because it's the desert.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

And people still dress in the.

[Pete Holmes]

So that could be the future on. On Tatooine.

[Samba Schutte]

Right, Right. Yeah, I know. Dune, Dune 3.

[Pete Holmes]

It's either either a Dune future or an America past.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, it's like Dune future, but America, it's the. It's the in between is America past, Dune future, Mauritania. That's my travel agent.

[Pete Holmes]

Or like, I'm like a travel agent, which is. No, that's the remarketing. It's not ancient. It's June future. This is after, like, some sort of blackout. They keep like a solar flare wiped all the data.

[Samba Schutte]

Right, right.

[Pete Holmes]

This is the future.

[Samba Schutte]

The future Mauritania, but backwards.

[Pete Holmes]

Taste the future of tomorrow. Today. But it's the past.

[Samba Schutte]

Kind of a bad one.

[Pete Holmes]

Like something went goofy.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But it is the future.

[Samba Schutte]

But it is the future.

[Pete Holmes]

If you want to experience it, there's Coke 3. Yeah, it's like an orange can of Coke 3.

[Samba Schutte]

Wow, that's interesting. Why is it orange?

[Pete Holmes]

Red was outlawed three dictators ago.

[Samba Schutte]

Exactly. They're like, no more red. Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

Or it's orange. Because it seems like a Trump thing. Coke should be orange. Everything should be orange. Just working it in. Just working in the impression.

[Samba Schutte]

Love doing it. You are amazing at it.

[Pete Holmes]

No, you are. Well, thank you very much. Mauritania just found out about it.

[Samba Schutte]

Beautiful Mauritania.

[Pete Holmes]

Tuned future. I took Air Force One there. I wasn't supposed to, but I stole it. I stole it. The keys are under the visor. And I flew it myself. I flew it. I landed in Morten.

[Samba Schutte]

No, I can't even. I can't.

[Pete Holmes]

No, you can laugh.

[Samba Schutte]

That's what's fun.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, that's what's fun is anyone can. Anyone can. You can see why I'm trying to force it in. It leads to laughs. It leads to laughs. Now I'm talking, like, leads to laughs. So you grew up in Mauritania?

[Samba Schutte]

Born.

[Pete Holmes]

Born in Mauritania.

[Samba Schutte]

I'm sorry, my story.

[Pete Holmes]

Tell me your story. Okay. Born in Mauritania. Grew up, moved to Ethiopia.

[Samba Schutte]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And why the move?

[Samba Schutte]

My father, who's from Holland, met my mom in Mauritania. They married.

[Pete Holmes]

She's a Muslim.

[Samba Schutte]

She's a Muslim.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. He's a Dutch.

[Samba Schutte]

He's a Dutch Christian.

[Pete Holmes]

Am I picturing him right?

[Samba Schutte]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

He just looks like a Lego man.

[Samba Schutte]

He is white.

[Pete Holmes]

He's white. He's not white. He's white.

[Samba Schutte]

Grew up in a village where it's like everyone has the same family name. You know, basically, it's like, what? No, it's like, you know, it's like the Smiths, basically. And like, everyone's named John because it's like, oh, you're my father's John. So you're going to be John. You're going to be John. You're going to be. So, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Is it windmill powered?

[Samba Schutte]

It's could be. Yeah. It was Sound of Music Future. Went to Dune Future and.

[Pete Holmes]

It'S the Sound of Music. But there's iPhones.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So it's a Sound of Music future.

[Samba Schutte]

It's the Sound of Music Future.

[Pete Holmes]

The travel agency.

[Samba Schutte]

I know the Coke hands are green. So. No, he was raised in this beautiful empty Dutch village that's just very traditional. Had a relationship with a girl. She broke up with him and he's like, I'm getting the fuck out of here. And he went to volunteer in Africa.

[Pete Holmes]

He had a Time to Leave Holland breakup.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, time to Leave Holland breakup.

[Pete Holmes]

I want to see this woman. I want to see the woman that if she breaks up with you, you're.

[Samba Schutte]

Like, sent you to Africa.

[Pete Holmes]

You ruined Holland. Yeah. Fuck this. She's. I'm going to Mauritania if I can't be with her. Beautiful.

[Samba Schutte]

That's. That's how beautiful she was, basically. Yeah. I'm going to the Sahara.

[Pete Holmes]

One in a million girl.

[Samba Schutte]

Going to the Sahara Desert because you left me is like, wow. Yeah, that's.

[Pete Holmes]

That is like, yeah. No one would believe it. It's like, she's that beautiful. No disrespect to up Mauritania. It's more about. I picture Holland as like a utopia. I don't know why. There's, like, candy and no one's overweight. Whatever.

[Samba Schutte]

Everyone's on a bicycle.

[Pete Holmes]

Everyone's on a bicycle. There's high. The may, like, you get a tax break. You get a tax break. The schools are free.

[Samba Schutte]

There's no homelessness.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. There's nothing happening.

[Samba Schutte]

Gotcha.

[Pete Holmes]

And he was like, fuck you.

[Samba Schutte]

This is not for me. I'm going to where there's nothing.

[Pete Holmes]

Why did he pick Mauritania?

[Samba Schutte]

There was a program there that was looking for accountants. He was an accountant. And he was like, I want to go to Africa first. He went to, like, Ivory coast, and he loved Africa. And he's like, I want to go to a country now to move, to actually work there, do social work. Moved to Mauritania, met my mom. She was a volunteer at that organization.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, wow.

[Samba Schutte]

They fell in love. And they had me, my sister, and then me. And then my dad was offered a job in Ethiopia because that was when the famine was happening in 85. And that's where, you know, we are the world and all that stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

The heyday of cruel starvation jokes in America.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. People were hot.

[Pete Holmes]

What a horrible thing.

[Samba Schutte]

No, I mean, you know, you're so far away from it.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. That's very compassionate. But I. I remember, I mean, in the 80s, just being like, what?

[Samba Schutte]

Well, you know the thing. Finish your food because they're starving kids in Ethiopia.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, we had that.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then you had 10,000. Just mean, mean jokes.

[Samba Schutte]

No, I grew up with those, too. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What am I doing?

[Samba Schutte]

No, it's like, you know, it's like, what is this? It's an Ethiopian jumping off a cliff. Like, I grew up with those jokes.

[Pete Holmes]

It's too late.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, yeah. So those are the jokes I grew up with.

[Pete Holmes]

When you do it, it did take me back to 1985. So I was conflicted. I hated the joke. I felt like I was 8 years old of laughter. It wasn't laughing. It was more joy that there's A Nintendo entertainment system nearby. It's like I'm sitting. Crisscross applesauce, which we didn't call that at the time.

[Samba Schutte]

Indian.

[Pete Holmes]

Indian style.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, I see. That was like. I went to a very progressive school.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Very. And it was still Indian stuff. Anyway. So there's a program. They fall in love. She worked at the. She's an accountant.

[Samba Schutte]

She was a volunteer. No, she was just a volunteer. Helping with the women programs. Like, helping. Teaching women up to sew and teaching them skills, basically, and stuff like that. So she was volunteer.

[Pete Holmes]

Was she from Ethiopia?

[Samba Schutte]

She's Mauritanian.

[Pete Holmes]

She.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. So because we were more.

[Pete Holmes]

Tanya.

[Samba Schutte]

We're more.

[Pete Holmes]

Then you go.

[Samba Schutte]

And then we go to Ethiopia.

[Pete Holmes]

Forgive and forget.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Every mistake I've made.

[Samba Schutte]

My story is complicated. It is.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't handle my own. I really can't. I go, you're my cousin.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You say so. It's like, only every.

[Samba Schutte]

No. So it's so hard to explain it because of all the steps that happen and so.

[Pete Holmes]

And places that we don't know. I feel like I'm watching Game of Thrones, basically. It's like, no, I'm from Mauritania.

[Samba Schutte]

The kingdom of.

[Pete Holmes]

The kingdom of Mauritania, basically. And I deal in the finances.

[Samba Schutte]

Like, all right, buddy, sounds good.

[Pete Holmes]

And I fell in love after leaving the land of sweet oats. Heart shattered. I went to Mauritania, the deserts where there's sandy sidewalks. And then I moved to Ethiopia to help with the.

[Samba Schutte]

To help with the family, to help with the famine. Wow. Yeah. So that's where we were. We went from Sahara Desert to famine. And, I mean, it was really fortunate growing up that way as a kid, because then you see poverty. Yeah. You know what poverty is? And you go, okay, I do not want to be that.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

But also, I do not want to witness that. I want to change that if I can. And so we were raised very much with that mentality, like, enjoy your privilege and use it for the best.

[Pete Holmes]

To help.

[Samba Schutte]

To help others.

[Pete Holmes]

That's really beautiful.

[Samba Schutte]

I. I'm half white, but I've never experienced white privilege. The only time I experienced white privilege was when there was a civil war in Ethiopia and we were evacuated first. And I left my friends there, and I was like, oh, this is what white privilege is.

[Pete Holmes]

That's an extreme. They let the white families leave first.

[Samba Schutte]

Well, the foreigners were like, we're getting the fuck out of here.

[Pete Holmes]

And they were like, okay.

[Samba Schutte]

And then they go, go, go, go. Last plane. Go, go, go. And my friends are like, Bye, Samba. I was like, see you in a few months, maybe.

[Pete Holmes]

I told you he was white.

[Samba Schutte]

I thought. You traitor.

[Pete Holmes]

We thought you were Indian.

[Samba Schutte]

So. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait, so what happened? You're evacuated because of a. What?

[Samba Schutte]

War. A civil war. Yeah, civil war. Tribal war. Like Eritrea. The country, Eritrea, north of Ethiopia. Wanted to have Ethiopia.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, leave.

[Samba Schutte]

Leave Ethiopia. And so the armies met and boom. Civil war.

[Pete Holmes]

Like on the border. Classic.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. They would actually come to the capital city. The war came to the city. There was like, bullets falling from ceilings and stuff like that. Like, you're just walking around like bullets. When people fire a gun in the air.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

A bullet falls somewhere.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. It's like ringing a bell and angels and wings. But it very much worse.

[Samba Schutte]

Just losing an arm while you're crisscross applesauce pretending. Yeah. When it falls through a roof and like. Yeah. In your arm.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, I can't.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I've always not to. I don't know. It's such a heavy thing we're talking about.

[Samba Schutte]

I'm sorry, I just brought down the movie. No, no, no.

[Pete Holmes]

What I'm saying is I'm checking. Trying to check before I wreck is I'm, like, fascinated that. That's always been a question of mine, is when you're shooting in the air, how safe can that be? It can't be safe.

[Samba Schutte]

If it's real bullets.

[Pete Holmes]

It will fall somewhere and it'll kill or maim someone.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. Or hurt somebody. Yeah, exactly. So. Yeah. That's why. Yeah. When people celebrate by going.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Still.

[Samba Schutte]

Still.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

Don't be around them.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't do that.

[Samba Schutte]

Don't that. Don't do that.

[Pete Holmes]

Guys, don't do that.

[Samba Schutte]

Shoot on the ground, maybe.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

Just not in the air.

[Pete Holmes]

Or blanks, maybe.

[Samba Schutte]

But then you don't get that.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't get what?

[Samba Schutte]

That erection firing.

[Pete Holmes]

I like that you're trying to stick up for them. You just know nothing's coming out. No, you just know. So how did that manifest to you? How old are you when you were evacuated?

[Samba Schutte]

Oh, I was in third grade in the English system, which is fourth grade in America. Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

So I was old enough to know.

[Samba Schutte]

918 years old.

[Pete Holmes]

You're old enough. Exactly. Old enough to kind of know what's going on.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And do you have a memory of going like, oh, there's a war happening.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. So we were at school. It was a school day. And then it was even worse. But it was the best day as a kid because you're. You're at school and it's noon. And all of a sudden, the parents are like, we gotta go. And everyone's like, yeah, no more school. Like, no one's worried about, you know.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Samba Schutte]

What's happening?

[Pete Holmes]

And I was like, just your reality.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. No school.

[Pete Holmes]

Yay.

[Samba Schutte]

Where are we going? To the airport. Yay.

[Pete Holmes]

What?

[Samba Schutte]

We're flying somewhere.

[Pete Holmes]

Yay.

[Samba Schutte]

Here's your suitcase. Let's go. Yay. This is the last plane out. Okay, bye. Hey, where are we off to? Kenya, to evacuate. Why? What's happening? War. Dad's staying behind, but you go.

[Pete Holmes]

And dad stayed behind.

[Samba Schutte]

Dad stayed behind for a couple months. Yeah. Because he had to work and help. Whatever. So, yeah, it was a weird day. It was a weird day of leaving school and being on a plane to run away while your friends are crying. And, you know, your Ethiopian friends are like, what about us? And you're like, I'm sorry. I'll be back with candies from Holland when I come back.

[Pete Holmes]

Exotic fruits will mark my trail home. And did your. Were your friends okay when you came back?

[Samba Schutte]

They were okay. Luckily, some friends I never saw again because they were Eritrean, and so they were kind of kicked out of the country. So there's some friends I never saw again after that.

[Pete Holmes]

What?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. Which is weird. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Happening right now.

[Samba Schutte]

Just terrible. White privilege.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it is.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So for sure. Oh, you meant your white privilege. I also just meant my white.

[Samba Schutte]

No, my white privilege.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

Because I'm 50% white.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

I can never check that on a box when I fill out those immigration forms.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Samba Schutte]

Because they're not going to believe me.

[Pete Holmes]

When it's AI you can. When it's like a robot. I do not. All I see is DNA.

[Samba Schutte]

Do not process. All right.

[Pete Holmes]

What would visual stimuli. Lies all the time. Masks.

[Samba Schutte]

Masks.

[Pete Holmes]

Wigs.

[Samba Schutte]

Sometimes I know by it.

[Pete Holmes]

Just give me some of your blood. All right. Hello.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

50% whitey. Welcome, whitey. There is a cracker barrel down the way. It gives you customized. I believe there's a target everybody loves Target.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

This is heavy. My privilege is obviously. You know, I just bought my daughter a book called if the world were 100 people. She's five and. Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

What if the world was 100 people? Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a book about statistics.

[Samba Schutte]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Because I'm just. Listen to this sentence. Is just oozing with privilege. And I want to note it. I'm noting it and acknowledging it. I'm trying to teach my daughter a little bit about what the. Is going on. And the statistics in the book are. It's a heavy read for Me, I mean she's like year old and she's like, like she's just stuck. I don't even know if she knows that it's a, a teaching lesson.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's like eight people would have black hair and like it's like one person would have blonde hair from the hundred. Yeah. It's a way of saying 80%, 10% and like, like one, they don't do this but like half a person would have red hair.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

But like also when you see how many Muslims there are, when you see how few, it's just fascinating. And then also when you get to the part where it's like I don't, I'm gonna get this wrong. But it's something like six people have clean water, four people don't. And you're just like, yeah, but like this is so you, this even this conversation. This is the lived version of me being. Read that book. I feel like a 5 year old.

[Samba Schutte]

I'm sitting here. So this is what's happening.

[Pete Holmes]

But fun pictures to help me. I'm just think of you dying.

[Samba Schutte]

Just your imagination going crazy about what went down.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. And completely incapable of picturing any of the landscapes.

[Samba Schutte]

Like Dune, Dune future.

[Pete Holmes]

Dune future.

[Samba Schutte]

Dune future.

[Pete Holmes]

But Ethiopia is not Dune future.

[Samba Schutte]

Ethiopia is green. Dune like Dune green. Like okay, if Dune was green.

[Pete Holmes]

I've been to Uganda, which is okay.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, so.

[Pete Holmes]

And I've been to Kenya, but I've never.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. So Kenya is similar to Ethiopia. Nature wise.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Samba Schutte]

There's some greenery. California is very Ethiopia. Oh yeah, nature.

[Pete Holmes]

So to bring it to you. So it's not just a history lesson.

[Samba Schutte]

Expert. You brought in the expert today.

[Pete Holmes]

I know, but I am doing that white guy thing, like tell me of your troubles while I have Campbell's soup or whatever. Like just idiot. Around that age you got like psychologically speaking, seven. A lot of, a lot of kids when they're seven, their parents get divorced, right. People when they're seven, some bad thing happens.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

The veil is torn.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And in a fucked up way that.

[Samba Schutte]

Defines their how personality for the rest of their lives. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you. And what I was going to say is sort of fucked up is you almost like around 7 is sort of perfect to develop an artist. Like if you're going to like shake the cage at a certain age.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Too young, doesn't compute.

[Samba Schutte]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know if there's two. I can't really follow that through with too old or anything. But like I know 7 is just young enough. So as vulnerable as Possible, but just old enough to understand things. So how did it affect you and how did that lead to comedy?

[Samba Schutte]

So, yes, no, there's, there's different types of comedians. Obviously. Most of the comedians I know come from a divorced home or a difficult home, and they use comedy. The comedy was what helped them kind of cope with it. Yeah. And. And so you see that a lot. What I love about you is that your comedy is very positive and that's why I, I really like your stuff because you're a very positive comedian. I think how it affected me is in a positive way because I experienced what it is to not have privilege, to not have, you know, how I want to, how do I want to say? This is what my parents taught me is like, use your privilege for good.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

So I knew that whatever I do in my life has to help others. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then your dad was like, I'm not even joking. He's like, and I'll show you that I will be staying.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, right, right. For a couple months. Yeah, A couple months. While bullets fall through the ceiling and stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. So he was a real hero, basically.

[Samba Schutte]

I mean, he had to stay back behind. So. Yeah. So I think when I came back, you know, eight years old, life continued as normal, as you would say. But comedy only happened. Like, I never, like, we didn't have stand up comedy in Ethiopia. I never grew up with stand up comedy. I think the first stand up comedy show, I was a VHS tape from Bill Cosby that was like Bill Cosby himself. Of course, you know, we got that. And then scandal noted. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, obviously understand criminal. Bad. Bad thing. Yeah, bad thing. Bad person did bad things. And that special. I, I also saw that and was like, what seemed like my dad.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. It was like dad talking about, you know, being a dad and the kids.

[Pete Holmes]

And all the kinds of string of spit and just watching it.

[Samba Schutte]

So that's what I grew up. Like when I was like 15, I saw that tape and I was like, what is this art form? What is this? Like, he's talking down, he's sitting down, he's talking and people are laughing.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

But I think where my comedy really came from is being bullied.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't handle this.

[Samba Schutte]

I'm sorry. This is just the worst. Come on, you're. I mean, it's like, it's. But again, I see it as a blessing because I'm half black, half white. I went to an English school that was international. Kids from all over the world. But I was always the outsider because I didn't along with the Africans. Because I'm not fully dark or African.

[Pete Holmes]

Was there kind of racism that way?

[Samba Schutte]

That was. I mean, it was kind of like we'd play soccer at lunchtime and it'd be like foreigners against locals, you know, that kind of stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Which means you're just the ref. Which is perfect because that's black and white stripes, basically.

[Samba Schutte]

Oh, my God. There you go. You can have that.

[Pete Holmes]

What, am I going to use it?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, go for it, Maury. Tania, do future.

[Pete Holmes]

You see me next time doing stand up. Mauritania's like Dune. Future, why are you talking about this? And if you're half black, half white, it resets. You're the referee, which is perfect. Everyone's like, what is Pete Holmes doing? I can do anyone's act. That's the ultimate white.

[Samba Schutte]

Oh, my God, no.

[Pete Holmes]

So you didn't get to play.

[Samba Schutte]

I mean, I played. I, I. You'd have to choose a side.

[Pete Holmes]

You'd have to, you'd have to, like, negotiate.

[Samba Schutte]

Like, where are we? Short handed. Yeah, join that team.

[Pete Holmes]

I, I don't like this. I'm riffing, but I really don't like this.

[Samba Schutte]

So. No, I got bullied just because I was an outsider, you know, like, there was this guy, we, we made amends years later, and he's passed away now, so. God rest his soul. But basically, it was funny because as a younger kid in, like, fifth, sixth, seventh grade, I hired him to be my bodyguard at school. Just like, I don't know why, I'd pay him 50 cents a month and he'd just protect me or, you know, work for me.

[Pete Holmes]

What?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

This is like a Richie Rich.

[Samba Schutte]

No, no.

[Pete Holmes]

So I hired one of the Tough Boys.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. So it was like, I don't know why, it was like a thing.

[Pete Holmes]

Fear. You were in trouble.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And there was a big kid.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you gave him 50 cents a month?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

To help you. Not escort you around?

[Samba Schutte]

No, no, no, no. Just be like, hey, man, these kids are kind of, like, acting up.

[Pete Holmes]

So were you getting jumped and stuff?

[Samba Schutte]

No, but just like, you know, kids would. You know how kids bully? Like, oh, you know, make fun of you or whatever.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Samba Schutte]

And then he ended up being my bully, my bodyguard. So, so, So I don't think I paid him enough.

[Pete Holmes]

It just cuts back to me and I'm gone. Like, you keep going for the rest of the episode like, I can't handle.

[Samba Schutte]

Can't handle this.

[Pete Holmes]

You were giving him 50 cents a month and then he turned on you?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, he turned on me. And so Your bodyguard. My bodyguard turned on me and started.

[Pete Holmes]

Being like these, these guys. This guy's an. He's hearing all the snaps and he's like, actually with them. He just slowly moves over and. You keep the 50.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. Never paid me back.

[Pete Holmes]

I hate this.

[Samba Schutte]

No. He bullied me. And so what this is. Do you remember the first time?

[Pete Holmes]

Because there's got to be the first betrayal.

[Samba Schutte]

There was. There was. They wanted me to kiss this Indian boy who was a friend of mine. And they're like, you, you kiss him.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't handle the night.

[Samba Schutte]

I'm so scared for my son. For any like, school. High school is just mean.

[Pete Holmes]

It's gonna be better. It's gonna be better.

[Samba Schutte]

Is it?

[Pete Holmes]

It is.

[Samba Schutte]

Okay?

[Pete Holmes]

I guarantee I don't know your son when he's in high school. We're talking 15 years.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Or 13 years.

[Samba Schutte]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

It's gonna be better.

[Samba Schutte]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

There's gonna be a drone assigned to every child.

[Samba Schutte]

Just forget 50 cents a month.

[Pete Holmes]

He's just gonna be in the bathtub with an Apple Vision pro. Nobody's. Would you like to open the bully app? It's like, no horse quit. He'll be fine. He's gonna. He's going to be better. There's no way.

[Samba Schutte]

I don't know what it was. High school is just mean. It's just where you learn, you know, skills to defend yourself and all that kind of stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Both of us were figuring out how to be razzle dazzle enough to have this stop happening.

[Samba Schutte]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

So yes, I'm with you.

[Samba Schutte]

No. So get bullied.

[Pete Holmes]

How do they want to do this?

[Samba Schutte]

Indian boy? And I'm like, no, I'm not gonna do this. And then because I was the first kid in school to have an earring and a ponytail.

[Pete Holmes]

Right ear, Right.

[Samba Schutte]

Left ear.

[Pete Holmes]

Left. Right ear.

[Samba Schutte]

Was the right ear. Was the gay.

[Pete Holmes]

In the 90s, there was an ear that was the gay ear.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I couldn't even remember you got the straight ear.

[Samba Schutte]

I did. And only because in Mauritania, the firstborn son, left ear. Second born son, right ear. So my younger brother had it hard in the 90s because he had a piercing in the right ear here. I got one.

[Pete Holmes]

Look at the shock on my face.

[Samba Schutte]

I am so sorry to anyone who might be listening to this. Just this. I am a shocked, shocked Pete Holmes episode.

[Pete Holmes]

I didn't know how firmly I believed that people in the 90s need to honor to avoid bullying the right ear, left ear rule. But your brother had another right ear. Left ear tradition basically superseded the homophobic 90s traditional. And there he was.

[Samba Schutte]

And there he was with a piercing in his right ear. And kids would.

[Pete Holmes]

Could he have not gotten a piercing? Yeah, but if he wanted one.

[Samba Schutte]

But it's traditional. And it was like, you know, I'm gonna honor my culture.

[Pete Holmes]

I. I choose zero honor culture or 90s. I'm out of here.

[Samba Schutte]

No culture. I choose no culture.

[Pete Holmes]

By the way, that was my play.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm nothing. I'm nothing.

[Samba Schutte]

Just.

[Pete Holmes]

Just not like. Right, Whiteboard.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Go on.

[Samba Schutte]

So, no.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, they wanted you to kiss this boy.

[Samba Schutte]

I'm like, no, I don't wanna. And then I. I look to my bodyguard. Hey, man, you want to help me out here? And he's like, no, go. Go. Go ahead and kiss him. And that moment, Pete, is like, you know, like, slow motion. Pan to your face. Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

While we zoom out on the background.

[Samba Schutte]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

It is. It's like the spider verse. It goes all dogs.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Samba Schutte]

The betrayal, the deception, the pain that comes with it. The. The anger that, oh, I wasted two whole dollars on this.

[Pete Holmes]

And for what? Now I'm out here smooching Indian while you all watch.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Did you do it?

[Samba Schutte]

I had to, buddy.

[Pete Holmes]

The 90s.

[Samba Schutte]

I know. And then they walked away. And then I was like.

[Pete Holmes]

And were they satisfied?

[Samba Schutte]

They were.

[Pete Holmes]

No.

[Samba Schutte]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

They.

[Samba Schutte]

They don't know what they.

[Pete Holmes]

They don't know what they want.

[Samba Schutte]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

They don't know what they need.

[Samba Schutte]

They saw it and they were like, oh, actually, I don't know about this. And then they left.

[Pete Holmes]

Go listen to Slipknot.

[Samba Schutte]

You so bullied. Continue. Bullying continued. And now he's part of it, and he's instigating it and all this kind of stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Now he's totally swap sides.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. And so the guy, the artist in me bubbled up because basically I was like, okay. My only mode of defending myself, as you know, in the 90s, was to diss somebody. And when you diss somebody, you humiliate them in front of everyone else. And you're basically the guy no one wants to mess with. Right.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't. You're bringing me all the feelings, every feeling of the 90s, and I'm dead inside. You're like, you're getting a plan together to dis.

[Samba Schutte]

To dis.

[Pete Holmes]

You're gonna do this Dismiss.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you gotta pick the right time.

[Samba Schutte]

Pick the right time. You guys gotta be an audience. Did you write a line in bed at night? Like, I wouldn't sleep, and I'd just be like, okay, I'm gonna say this, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this.

[Pete Holmes]

You're killing me.

[Samba Schutte]

Building, building, building, like, which is what we do now. Just in bed going, we're just bullying.

[Pete Holmes]

Bad crowds now I gotta diss a bad crowd. Oh, you know.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Or just a bad situation.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

But so preparing. Preparing. Not safe having your.

[Samba Schutte]

Your artillery stack your ammo. Yeah, exactly. And then so the day came and the moment came. And we were in class and I had an audience.

[Pete Holmes]

What is this moonlight? What is this moonlight?

[Samba Schutte]

I know you can't handle this. I'm sorry. The moment came. This is what led me to be a comedian, Pete. This is the reason for my success.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Samba Schutte]

So it has a happy ending.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Samba Schutte]

All right.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Samba Schutte]

Day came. Face Off. This is it. Before class, after class, during class.

[Pete Holmes]

During class, teacher was the teacher, like, you deserve it, James.

[Samba Schutte]

So during class, basically I was like, okay, this is it. Because he was trying to bully me again. And there was an audience. There's people watching. And I'm like, no, I'm gonna do it now. Boom. Started some. He was chubby fat. So it was all the fat jokes, you know, like.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, but you wrote your own material.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, good for you. I mean, in the 80s, in the 90s, you could just go to, like, a classy bookstore and they'd have books, just leather bound books called Ways to Take Down Fatties. It was not. Nobody had a problem.

[Samba Schutte]

You have to work with it.

[Pete Holmes]

It was. The President of the United States could just do it. Make a. Make what was known as a fat joke. Nobody's body shaming. You're all, everybody's beautiful.

[Samba Schutte]

Keep going. Right? No. So basically, we didn't have those resources in Ethiopia, so I had to come up with my own material.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Samba Schutte]

Right. Okay. So boom had to do it. Brought him down. Everyone's laughing. I don't remember something. Yeah, it's just like, you know, it was stupid. It was like your belly button is like a dart board. I don't know. It's like, didn't make sense. Right? But we're 11 years old, and as.

[Pete Holmes]

You still said something.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, yeah. And. And everyone. And he's like, humiliated and stuff. And after that day, I didn't get bullied again. But I discovered that comedy was my weapon. And that's what was the foundation for. I have the power to make people laugh. And I have an audience that listens and that gives me power to share something. And I didn't know what stand up comedy was. I watched Bill Cosby himself. I was like, this is an art form of some kind. And then Eddie Murphy, raw. Came into my life. And then I was like, okay, this is something I might want to do.

[Pete Holmes]

Wherein he makes fun of Bill Cosby.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that the one where he's like, have a Coke and a smile and.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Up.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Who knew?

[Samba Schutte]

So that was my journey to comedy. As dark and as depressing as that.

[Pete Holmes]

No, you're absolutely right. It wasn't depressing. And it seems like you. I mean, it was hard.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's just hard remembering how raw we all were.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And, like, I was just talking to another parent where we were talking about, like, you know, it's spring break and what are you gonna do with your kids? And. And somebody was like, well, there was a swim camp, but, like, I had to work, and I wasn't gonna just drop my kid at a camp that I had never, like, watched or, like, observed or like, that they don't know anybody. And I was like, boy, this is why I think, think your son.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Is going to be just fine. It just keeps getting better.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Now parents in the 90s, nobody was like, I'm not going to send my son to a camp I haven't observed.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm not talking about the whole day, but, like, you want to watch and get a sense of the vibe, right? Is everything okay? I was dropped. Street level. I was. You know what I mean? It was. It was at the street. I was driving, right. Like, the car was pulling away before my door had totally.

[Samba Schutte]

Before somebody was like. Like, make sure you're okay.

[Pete Holmes]

And now I'm just in some. Sometimes I'm at the wrong place. Turns out it was a computer camp. Like, that's a different camp. Here's a bill.

[Samba Schutte]

Here you go. Your son was amazing at it.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, so how long after your snaps battle, Right. Did you find your first? Because I. I read on the Internet that you played a Steven Spielberg video game and that.

[Samba Schutte]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

Tell me. Yes, tell me the story.

[Samba Schutte]

12Th birthday, I get a Christmas gift from my dad. We had a PC that we shared with the family. One of those Microsoft Gateway things that take forever to start up and load. And the Internet that goes.

[Pete Holmes]

All that stuff. How well could you do that sound? Here's what's crazy. You would know it if it was wrong.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But you couldn't do it.

[Samba Schutte]

You couldn't do it. You can't do it. That's off.

[Pete Holmes]

It definitely starts. There's definitely a low high.

[Samba Schutte]

Yes. In it.

[Pete Holmes]

Chigoon. That's my rap name. Chigoon Chagoon.

[Samba Schutte]

Chigoon Chagun.

[Pete Holmes]

What's up, HTML? Go on.

[Samba Schutte]

So my dad gets me this video game called Steven Spielberg's Director's Chair.

[Pete Holmes]

Because he saw a little razzle dazzle in it.

[Samba Schutte]

No, because he saw that I was doing like we had a video camera and I would start making like little stop motion animation things with toys and stuff. And he's like, this guy is going to be an artist.

[Pete Holmes]

And so your hero, your sensitive hearted, Dutch chocolate loving dad that just couldn't stop supporting Ethiopia and his family.

[Samba Schutte]

Right, right.

[Pete Holmes]

And seeing you right. I too was up making with this camcorder stop motion stuff. Really, so. Oh yeah, that was a huge. Right change.

[Samba Schutte]

That was fun. It's just like you move the toy a little bit. On, off.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes, yes. And if it was an old enough one, it would be. You'd have to listen for when it's recording then.

[Samba Schutte]

Right, right, right.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, it's not, it's not like an iPhone starts. It would be like it would rewind a little bit.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then it would. And then.

[Samba Schutte]

So, yeah, so he saw that I was interested in that kind of stuff and so he got me this video game. Which no one in America knows about.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I don't know about it.

[Samba Schutte]

I've asked so many people here, like, do you know Steven Spielberg's director's chair? No one's ever heard about it. So I don't know if Steven Spielberg was exporting it to like, I don't know, African, like third world countries or whatever.

[Pete Holmes]

It was his Bond movie.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, it was his.

[Pete Holmes]

Every time I clap, a DP is established, published in Africa, Directors born.

[Samba Schutte]

And it was an amazing video game. It was basically a box of eight CDs that you put in the game, like in the computer, one at a time where you get to direct a film on the Universal Studios lot. All right, A Variety article appears saying Samba. You put your name in and it creates an article. Pete Holmes hired to direct a film starring Quentin Tarantino, Jennifer Aniston and Penn and Teller. Those magicians, Those were the actors that you would use in your film.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait, they were in it?

[Samba Schutte]

They were in it. Tarantino.

[Pete Holmes]

What?

[Samba Schutte]

Jennifer Aniston, Quentin Tarantino, Penn and Teller. So you're basically a director, right? You hired Quentin Tarantino as your main.

[Pete Holmes]

The famous actor.

[Samba Schutte]

Right, right. And he's in jail, okay. The story is always like, he's in jail, he's a prisoner. Jennifer Aniston is his girlfriend trying to get him out of jail. And Penn and Teller are the Bad guys. And then you basically have those actors. And so the first step is writing the script. So you, you go to the writer's office and you write a story. Okay, what do you want it to be? Do you want it to be mystery? Do you want it to be drama? Do you want it to be comedy? And then you write a script with the writers. And you have a script.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait, the writers help you?

[Samba Schutte]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

What Is this chat GPT? I don't know.

[Samba Schutte]

What is the night? This is 1995. All right? And it's like amazing technology. That's why I'm like, surprised no one's heard about this guy. Game, you write the script, you start shooting the movie on the Universal Studios lot. And you start, you choose start with a master close. Do you want a wide? Do you want a two shot? What happens?

[Pete Holmes]

And then you says the line.

[Samba Schutte]

You click it. And then you see a video of Quentin Tarantino acting with Jennifer Aniston. And then that guy do their scenes. They say the lines from the script you wrote with the writers.

[Pete Holmes]

No, Shut up.

[Samba Schutte]

No, this is like, this is. Please check out this. There's YouTube videos of this game. Game, please check it out.

[Pete Holmes]

So it's like a voice. It's like talking moose. Like, hello, I want to like, is.

[Samba Schutte]

That they actually do your lines like, babe, I'm so sorry that, you know, whatever it is that you wrote with the writer, you know, I'm sure it was premeditated. Whatever you write with the writer was.

[Pete Holmes]

Already like, oh, you were making choices.

[Samba Schutte]

I guess, because, like, it's a comedy. But I want this scene to. I want an escape.

[Pete Holmes]

And then when you're writing the dialogue, you're choosing, do you want them to say, hi, how are you?

[Samba Schutte]

Right. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. Well, you couldn't just say, hey, banana pants.

[Samba Schutte]

Samba is amazing. Yeah, you can't have.

[Pete Holmes]

So you. But you chose what was set.

[Samba Schutte]

Yes. You chose what was said. You shoot the thing, you choose what props, whatever, and all that kind of stuff. Then you go to the editing room, you edit your movie with this editor, Michael Kahn, that Steven Spielberg always works with. He's done every Spielberg movie. And you edit it. You choose your master shots, your close ups, your two shots, you edit the movie. Then you go.

[Pete Holmes]

So every line, there's a master, a single and a two shot.

[Samba Schutte]

Yes, yes. You make a movie and then you go to the sound department to add your sound effects. And then you, you add your music score. And then you have your premiere. And then, yes, there's a red carpet and then the curtain Opens and then you play your movie in front of an audience and it does the whole movie from start to finish with your dialogue, your sound effects, your music, your cues. And then you get a review and variety and stuff happens while you're filming, like earthquakes that halt production or you go over budget, or you go over time and you don't make it and all this kind of stuff. It was like an amazing video game. I'm so surprised no one has ever heard about it here in America. Again, Steven Spielberg's director's chair.

[Pete Holmes]

Look at my face. I'm the joy version of the earring thing. I'm as affected by what you're telling me.

[Samba Schutte]

This is what got me into making Wanna Come to Hollywood.

[Pete Holmes]

Did it have incredibly long load times? I'm assuming you could hear the computer churning eight CDs.

[Samba Schutte]

So it was like. And then find. Finally it was like, okay, it's loaded.

[Pete Holmes]

Why was it Tarantino?

[Samba Schutte]

I don't know. Spielberg was, I don't know, hiring Tarantino as an actor in the 90s. Was he?

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, he's in Dusk till Dawn, he acts, he's in pulpit.

[Samba Schutte]

He was really good. Him and Jennifer Aniston.

[Pete Holmes]

Were they easy to direct? Did they take notes? Could you give them notes? I believe anything about this game. Could you say like more intensity?

[Samba Schutte]

No, you could choose. You could choose an emotion. You could choose that like. Yeah, I want it more dramatic or I want it funnier. And they would be more goofy or they'd be more serious. And so you could do that and.

[Pete Holmes]

Then the movie has to be just a mishmash.

[Samba Schutte]

It's. It makes sense. No, it makes sense. It's like there's a story and there's everything and from start to finish and you make a 15 minute movie sometimes and then, yeah, you. Then you get hired again by the studio to make an even longer movie and an even longer movie and it just keeps going forever. So that's what got me into to acting and directing.

[Pete Holmes]

Steve, you should have just stayed with the game. Sounds like everything you need it was in this game.

[Samba Schutte]

It was incredible.

[Pete Holmes]

And then they mail you a check.

[Samba Schutte]

I know, I know. Seriously. So the first time, were the reviews ever bad? Yeah, Variety would slay like samba movie.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, of course. Yes.

[Samba Schutte]

Like samba is shoot movie. Like terrible. Does not do well in the over production. Producers are angry that he went over budget and all this stuff. It's not your fault because there's earthquakes and they have to rebuild the set and after, you know, the earthquake and all the kind of stuff and wow. Or that one of the actors is, I don't know, in their dressing room and not wanting to come out. I know that's basically.

[Pete Holmes]

Sorry. Your life is the movie Gran Torino. Except instead of playing Gran Torino and then becoming a race car driver, you were pretending to be a director and then you became writer.

[Samba Schutte]

And the first time I stepped on the Universal Studios lot, I was like, this is wild. I've been here before as a 12 year old kid in Ethiopia.

[Pete Holmes]

I know my way around.

[Samba Schutte]

I know this building.

[Pete Holmes]

Where's Crafty?

[Samba Schutte]

I know Where's Crafty? Wow. Yeah. So it was beautiful. That came full circle.

[Pete Holmes]

I know Penn a little bit. I wonder if I could ask him if he has any memory of doing it.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

That's because I really want to know everything.

[Samba Schutte]

Penn and Teller, they were the bad guys in it.

[Pete Holmes]

They were the bad guys.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, the magicians. And they'd make things disappear in it and everything they were.

[Pete Holmes]

Which isn't impressive in a video game game. You know, whenever you see magic, like Tom Cruz is always doing magic and like Mission Impossible, he's like, is the key here? And everyone's like, yeah, but we can only see from the angle that, you.

[Samba Schutte]

Know, you don't cut it.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right. It always makes me laugh. He drops the key and, you know, they drop the audio of the key and I'd love to just see the dailies. Or he's like, or is the key here?

[Samba Schutte]

You know?

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God, I'd pay a million.

[Samba Schutte]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

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[Samba Schutte]

Life.

[Pete Holmes]

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[Samba Schutte]

It's.

[Pete Holmes]

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[Samba Schutte]

Month.

[Pete Holmes]

Plus savings on gas, parking and maintenance. I can attest to that. We go to a very popular farmer's market here in town and being able to cruise in and just park it at the bike rack is unbelievable. Unbelievable. Durable features and accessories for added safety, convenience and control. So, guys, go full throttle this spring with electric E bikes, the number one selling E bike in the nation. Get your adventure started with electric ebikes.com and please, actually, please do this mention at checkout that you made it weird with Pete Holmes sent you in the post checkout survey. It only takes two seconds and it really helps the show. That's L E C T R I c e bikes.com and tell them this show sent you. All right, everybody, back to the show. Okay, so your dad changes your life forever. You're eight years old when this happened.

[Samba Schutte]

12. 12.

[Pete Holmes]

12. I'm sorry, it was the eight.

[Samba Schutte]

Was the. The disc bullying. Building up to 11, 12, 12. Get all the skills to direct.

[Pete Holmes]

And then when did you come to your next experience of comedy?

[Samba Schutte]

So when I moved to Holland to go to college, I was 18, moved to Holland, went to this in a international university.

[Pete Holmes]

When you left for Holland, did your dad, silhouetted by a window without turning around, go, if you see her, don't tell me. And then thunder cracks and you're like, I won't, papa. You know of who I speak your name.

[Samba Schutte]

You will not say Jennifer.

[Pete Holmes]

They're all named Jennifer. So you go to Holland?

[Samba Schutte]

Go to Holland. I'm in this college. I want to act. I want to become an actor. That was like, I asked permission to my mom, you know, because in Ethiopia or in Africa, anyway, like, being an actor is like not a profession. You can't say, I'm going to be an actor. You have to be like a pilot or a lawyer or a doctor. But I had the talk with my mom. I'm like, I really want to act. Okay. Is that okay with you? Yes, but get some degree in something else. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna learn theater, but also how to teach theater. So I have a teacher's degree. If anything goes bad.

[Pete Holmes]

Here's my impression of your mom when you said, I'm gonna be your mom. Say your line is, mom, I am gonna study acting. But as a Backup?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm gonna get a degree in teaching acting.

[Samba Schutte]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm gonna be your mom.

[Samba Schutte]

Okay, Ma. So I'm going to be an actor. But don't worry, I'm going to get a degree as an acting teacher for theater. It pays really well, Mom. You know, there's always.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't even do it.

[Samba Schutte]

I was going to start crying. That was excellent. There was a deep moment of sight.

[Pete Holmes]

There was, for those listening, audio only. It was just a big smile to zero. Very slowly.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

But she could not have been thrilled. She meant computer science.

[Samba Schutte]

She was like, no, like pilot.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. She meant medicine.

[Samba Schutte]

Right. You were like, don't worry, I'll teach actors. These losers. I will teach them.

[Pete Holmes]

I'll make more of them. Droves of unemployed idiots will be under my command. She's like, I meant engineers.

[Samba Schutte]

Exactly. You were amazing at chemistry and biology. What happened?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, go on.

[Samba Schutte]

So I'm in college. I'm starting acting. There's an open mic. I want to do a monologue as an actor. So I write my own monologue. Funny monologue. Turns out they only have a microphone on stage. I grab the mic, do my monologue. It's standup comedy. Whoa. And everyone's like, how long you been doing stand up comedy for? I was like, oh, this was a monologue. I'm an actor. And they're like, no, this was stand up comedy. I'm like, really? And that's how it started.

[Pete Holmes]

You got chocolate in my peanut butter.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You made Silly Putty by accident, right?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. Basically, I stumbled into stand up comedy by wanting to be stand up. Yeah. Whoops. This is stand up. There's a microphone. I'm an actor doing a monologue.

[Pete Holmes]

Was the monologue you.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, I mean, talking. Yeah, I was like, talking about your life. Talking about how guys.

[Pete Holmes]

You weren't like, no, it's like how guys hit on girls always.

[Samba Schutte]

No, it was like how guys hit on girls. Like the nerdy guys and the cool guys. And then, like, doing that, as in my monologue. And it turned out to be stand up comedy. And then I became the stand up comedian on campus. And every time they had an open mic, I'd do a monologue with my microphone and become a stand up comedian. Oh, that's how it started. By accident. President.

[Pete Holmes]

You know the quote. Houdini. You know the Houdini? You know the Houdini? Houdini. He goes, a magician is an actor pretending to be a magician. And you were an actor pretending to.

[Samba Schutte]

Be a comedian, right?

[Pete Holmes]

Exactly. I Mean, it is. It is a type of.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Sometimes I say that on stage. I'm like, it's my job to be in this mood.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

The mood that I'm in.

[Samba Schutte]

Right, right.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't always feel like doing it.

[Samba Schutte]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

But you become. You play the part.

[Samba Schutte]

Part.

[Pete Holmes]

And then sometimes in playing the part, you become the part.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

As I'm sure every. I can't speak to that, but, like, really deep, good, trained actors become and start feeling what their character friends. So that's really cool.

[Samba Schutte]

So, yeah, that's what. That's how it started. And then I started doing those open mics every three months or whatever. And then I had a tape of material that I sent to this agency, and they wanted to see me perform, but they wanted to see me perform in Dutch. This was all in English, by the way, because English is my first language. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And the best language.

[Samba Schutte]

And the best language ever.

[Pete Holmes]

Just the best one.

[Samba Schutte]

It's still delicious.

[Pete Holmes]

Bad food.

[Samba Schutte]

Yes, but language is delicious food. Terrible.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, it's not great language, but it is everywhere.

[Samba Schutte]

No, you have. You have all the words you need.

[Pete Holmes]

We have all. We have all the words you need. And you can go anywhere.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

They're trying.

[Samba Schutte]

They will try.

[Pete Holmes]

They're trying.

[Samba Schutte]

They'll try to understand you.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, Yeah. I remember being feeling that way, obviously. Uganda. Colonialize and all that.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

So there's a.

[Samba Schutte]

By the British.

[Pete Holmes]

Yikes. There's a Yikes. Reason. Why y' all taking tea?

[Samba Schutte]

Why do you guys have tea? A, why do you have Jesus? And B, why do you have tea and sandwiches?

[Pete Holmes]

Why tea, Jesus? Why y' all have Jesus? You can have that. What am I gonna do?

[Samba Schutte]

How about this? You go to Uganda, everyone's drinking tea with Jesus. Like, what happened to Pete Holmes? Just his career tips after his podcast with Samba.

[Pete Holmes]

He had a break. Thought he was half white. Happy Ethiopian or I'm sorry, I forgot.

[Samba Schutte]

Mauritania.

[Pete Holmes]

Dune.

[Samba Schutte]

Pass Dun Future.

[Pete Holmes]

Sounds a little too much like Avatar Unobtained.

[Samba Schutte]

Really?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, for me. Okay, let's change it.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. If we can. I'll talk to the president a little more.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know, a little more African, maybe.

[Samba Schutte]

Obtainable.

[Pete Holmes]

Unobtainable. Unobtainable. Oh, that's. That's the worst thing in movies. Keep going. So you kept doing the open mic every couple months, but they wanted in Dutch.

[Samba Schutte]

Suddenly this organization that. This company that I sent my tape to, they're like. They hired Stand Up Comedy. It was still kind of new in Holland. Stand up only started in the 90s. In Holland before that, they had another art form called cabaret, which is like a man goes on stage and tells a story.

[Pete Holmes]

Cabaret.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, yeah. And that does music or whatever and sings and stuff, Right.

[Pete Holmes]

We had a weird time. Like, I mean, us as a, as a people comedian, right? We're always mixed with some big guy on a piano, right?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And there's got to be ladies.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, what do you like comedy? Started out like a newborn deer, right. And everyone was like, what the fuck?

[Samba Schutte]

What is this?

[Pete Holmes]

Well, there's a big guy on the piano.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

There's smoking inside and there's ladies. And they're like, all right, you can tell me. You're just.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, let's go listen to it.

[Pete Holmes]

And then if you had told those people in 2024, right. It'll just be the guy that comes out while you're setting up the chairs, right. They'd be like, get out. I don't want this, James. And piano, piano, piano. And ladies and ladies. That's what has staying power. We're like, no, it's actually the guy.

[Samba Schutte]

It's been gone for 100 years. I'm sorry.

[Pete Holmes]

No one wants that. Try to draw a crowd with piano. And actually you could.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, maybe some places in New Orleans. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I think that New Orleans is still a piano in Ladies town.

[Samba Schutte]

So can.

[Pete Holmes]

Can you started dancing? You made me so happy.

[Samba Schutte]

Send them the tape. They want me to do stand up in Dutch, which is my fourth. Fourth language. Like, I do not speak it well. No, I'm sorry, that's not a brag. It's to show that I do not speak it well.

[Pete Holmes]

No, that was respect. It wasn't like, hey, brag alert.

[Samba Schutte]

You know, it goes English, French, Ethiopian, Dutch, and I do not speak Dutch well. But here's the challenge. I have to do well or I will not book this gig and work as a stand up comedian.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Samba Schutte]

So I have to memorize these jokes line word by word. Word. And you know, like if you're memorized 100, you do not. In a language that you do not speak well, you can't improvise, right. So if something happens, you can't there's react to it. You get that bad review from Variety, it's over. So.

[Pete Holmes]

So you memorized.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Did you know you were saying?

[Samba Schutte]

I didn't know what I was saying. No, I didn't know what I was saying. But when someone in the audience responded in the language you do not speak, you can't respond to that because you're with your script, right? You can't.

[Pete Holmes]

You need one save line in Dutch. This guy, like. How do you say this guy in Dutch? Just say that anytime. This guy. And then you just go back to the script.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, basically. So that was the risk. And that happened. Could not improvise. Was just like, haha. I think I spoke in English or whatever. It's like this guy, this guy with the fucking Dutch. I know. Anyway, back to Dutch. And. And. But they like my tape enough or my audition enough that they hired me as a comedian.

[Pete Holmes]

From your first time doing Dutch standup. And there was a heckler in.

[Samba Schutte]

Right, right. And they saw cuz my tape I sent them was in English. I'm like, they're like, but if you want a career in Holland, you have to do it in Dutch. And so they saw that I could handle myself on stage. Wow. But this is why I became a physical comedian in Holland, because I sucked at the language. So physical comedy was what saved me. To not have to do everything with words.

[Pete Holmes]

What is happening? I love every story. What is this?

[Samba Schutte]

I don't know. This is a dream. This is just a dream.

[Pete Holmes]

I see you with a bindle on a stick and it's like. And there's an accordion playing and it's just like. So of course physical comedy was my way to a free dinner. And you're up on stage and everyone's like, ah, this guy. They probably laugh a little different. Like a tin tin comic.

[Samba Schutte]

Why don't they laugh?

[Pete Holmes]

Ja, ja, ja. And then you started making enough for room and board, I'm assuming in a one bedroom apartment above the theater. Right. Where were you?

[Samba Schutte]

That's the Phantom of the Upright. I was a kid in college. I was just in college staying on campus. But it was amazing that I got paid. Like this was the first time I got paid as a community comedian. Like 50 bucks or €50 at the time to do a 15 minute set. Like in Holland there was like. That was a lot of money for me, like as a student.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

And did you do well? So basically a year of doing Dutch comedy and then I'm so ambitious that I go, I'm gonna take part in the biggest national comedy competition in Holland called the Leitz Gabriel Festival. And I'm gonna participate and I'm gonna win. And I went, excuse me while I. Krasinski, zoom in. Slow zoom.

[Pete Holmes]

That's when we curb. You decide. Yeah, I'm nervous.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You sign up for Le Cabaret Lights.

[Samba Schutte]

Cabaret Festival, Biggest national comedy competition in Holland. And you got guys on pianos. You got, you know, the Ladies dancing. You got stand up comedians. And then you have me, the physical comedian who's learning to speak better Dutch, but want to tell my story. Being half African, half European, whatever. This didn't just come about by accident. Okay. I was in. I was in Africa. I went back to home to Africa for a little bit, and I was like, okay, what do I want to do with my life? I want to win this competition so I can launch my career so I can eventually go to America. This was always my goal.

[Pete Holmes]

On a steamboat, On a steamboat with my.

[Samba Schutte]

With my satchel. I need to meet Steven Spielberg so I can tell him about Sean and about Quentin. Why? Ask him why he hired Quentin Tarantino.

[Pete Holmes]

You have to pack all nine CDs because you think that'll mean something to him.

[Samba Schutte]

He's like, what is this?

[Pete Holmes]

Seeing as none of us know it, he probably would have been thrilled.

[Samba Schutte]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Go on.

[Samba Schutte]

So I'm in. I'm in Kenya. I'm volunteering, Doing some volunteer work in this village where there's no power, no electricity, whatever. So I have a lot of time to think. I have a lot of time to muse and ruse. And I'm like, I'm gonna win this company. I plan out my five years of life.

[Pete Holmes]

So just to be clear.

[Samba Schutte]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

You're writing jokes by candlelight at this point.

[Samba Schutte]

Absolutely. In my hut. By candlelight.

[Pete Holmes]

But no joke.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because it sounded like you were. Yes and no.

[Samba Schutte]

No, no. But it was no. It was no power, no water.

[Pete Holmes]

While you're training.

[Samba Schutte]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

To get ready.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

For the biggest comedy town in Holland.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

So that you can get a steamboat.

[Samba Schutte]

To Steamboat. And meet Steven Spielberg.

[Pete Holmes]

To meet Steven Spielberg.

[Samba Schutte]

Yes, exactly. Okay. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

All right.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. What is this? This is the plan. This is the plan. This is how I'm gonna get an American tail. American. I'm Fido or whatever is. I was close. I was close. So, yeah, go back to Holland after my time in this village, and I'm like, I'm ready to go. I audition for the competition. I'm hired. It's like they choose eight comedians and we compete. We go from the first round to the quarterfinal, semifinal, final, final. And I win both the jury and the audience prize. And it was the first time in history that 90% of the audience had voted for the winner. And the first time in history that the jury had no criticisms of the winner. And so I won and launched my career that way. To be the physical comedian in Holland. Da, da, da. Have a couple shows, comedy specials. Time to move to America.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. Yeah, every question. But here's the best one. What was your act like that you won with?

[Samba Schutte]

I used a Jem Bay. You know a drum, The African drum. It's a jembe. It's.

[Pete Holmes]

I think so.

[Samba Schutte]

It's a. Like a goat skin drum. And you can bang it like a lot of hippies in Venice Beach.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I think I got it.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. Drum circles.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

So I use.

[Pete Holmes]

What's the bass look like?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, like a time. How do you say that?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, Hourglass.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, the hourglass.

[Pete Holmes]

Not a lady, not hourglass. Some ladies.

[Samba Schutte]

Some ladies.

[Pete Holmes]

Ladies we know Some ladies that are more aglow.

[Samba Schutte]

Some glow sticks, angular ladies.

[Pete Holmes]

I know a hacky sack that lives in Venice. We dated for six months. She's the weirdest that has to tell people what their body look like. All right. I did a snare drum in college. On its side. It's like gentlemen never do.

[Samba Schutte]

You got it. One got to keep his secrets.

[Pete Holmes]

You dated a choke, you're saying like a small thick chode. Like a can of tuna. Go on.

[Samba Schutte]

So play my djembe and II the sim. The jambe is a symbol for me because I. The Jembe is. Has to be the right temperature. It can't be too hot, too cold. Can be too much in the sun, too much in the dark. It has to be right in the middle. And that was a symbol for my story. I can't be. I'm half African, half European, half white, half black. You know, half rich, half poor. Whatever you want to say. Yeah. And the only way I can have harmony is by embracing both and choosing the middle. Because I can't choose one over the other. So that was Simon Cowell.

[Pete Holmes]

Damn it.

[Samba Schutte]

Golden Buzzer.

[Pete Holmes]

Before you've even done it.

[Samba Schutte]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's me. I'm the. I'm the Jeme. Randy Jackson. It's not even that show.

[Samba Schutte]

Glitter FALLS Down Audio.

[Pete Holmes]

So you did this act every time?

[Samba Schutte]

Every round.

[Pete Holmes]

Every round same.

[Samba Schutte]

But I would add something new, a new joke each round just to keep it fresh for the judges. Cuz they'd watch every round and so.

[Pete Holmes]

They watched it like. Like five times.

[Samba Schutte]

They watched it five or four. Four or five times. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then the last time there's the audience that votes as well. And they haven't seen.

[Samba Schutte]

They haven't seen it. No.

[Pete Holmes]

So you're slow leaking it out, adding a little bit more.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

This is insane.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. And I saved one of my best jokes for last cuz I was so convinced I was going to make the final. You know the power of Law of attraction, whatever you want to call it, just like, boom. And thank God I made it to the final, otherwise I would not have had this joke.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God. If you had met me at that time, you'd be like. And I'm going to say my last joke for the final. I'd be like, kid, do the best. On the first show, nothing is guaranteed. I have an iPad, you know, it's for. Look like.

[Samba Schutte]

It's not even like you can see out of both eyes.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. The bill comes and I open it.

[Samba Schutte]

What?

[Pete Holmes]

So you saved the best show. What was the best joke?

[Samba Schutte]

I do a song at the end of my show with the Jem. I get the audience to sing together. We all sing, we all sing, we all sing. I'm like, repeat after me. Whatever. So it's called a response. And we sing. I'm like, thank you, thank you. And with that song, you all just agreed to adopt an Ethiopian child or whatever it was. And then like, everyone's like, hahaha, you got us. And then that was the joke. So saved it for last.

[Pete Holmes]

Like a big adopted in Ethiopian.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

One guy who thinks it's dead serious. He's like, I can't have this happening right now. I care about your people, but I'm in a tight spot. He doesn't like.

[Samba Schutte]

No, he doesn't understand.

[Pete Holmes]

So it was a single. It was a sing song. Yeah, In Dutch.

[Samba Schutte]

In Dutch with it.

[Pete Holmes]

With a.

[Samba Schutte]

With my gem drum. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And with jokes with a punchline at the end.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And they loved it.

[Samba Schutte]

Standing.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Samba Schutte]

Dutch people do standing O's. This is the weird thing about Dutch cross. Have you ever performed in Holland?

[Pete Holmes]

No.

[Samba Schutte]

Okay, let me prepare you for if ever you perform in Holland, they will not laugh out loud fully. They're a very reserv.

[Pete Holmes]

Booking my ticket.

[Samba Schutte]

They're very reserved people. And so I've done bunch of shows. Like I had three comedy specials in Holland. I would tour. The latest one I did was whatever, five, six, seven, eight years ago. It was all about being positive. Okay. I'm touring around Holland. I'm doing this joke about this whole show about being positive and all this, you know, not giving up. They do not cannot laugh for 80 minutes. Not one single laugh. And I'm there, like, I should stop the show. I'm offending people. But the show is about not giving up, so I cannot stop performing the show because it's about not giving up. So I have to continue the show. So for 80 minutes, I'm doing my show basically monologuing, not hearing a Response. I end the show, lights go off, standing ovation and I'm confused. And I go backstage and like, what just happened? Like, they loved it. It was amazing. I go like, you know, to the cafe after to meet some people from the Undershake Hands. That was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Like, why didn't you laugh? This is a Dutch crowd. We didn't want to interrupt you. And that's the Dutch crowd. They respect the art form so much.

[Pete Holmes]

They don't want to.

[Samba Schutte]

They want to listen to every single thing you say.

[Pete Holmes]

Someone's like, haha, shut up, shut up.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. So my wife was in the audience and she's American and she's used to it, you know, the loud laugh and she would get glares from the Dutch crowds. Just like, you know, shh, he's speaking.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. I hate it for comedy, but I love it for literally everything else.

[Samba Schutte]

Right. So this is just to prepare you for if ever you go, they are listening to you, they love you.

[Pete Holmes]

And you know, in that way, in other ways as a culture. Very sound, sensitive, kind of like this is a hotel. Close your door if you're going to brush your teeth.

[Samba Schutte]

Right. No running water after 11:00pm yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You realize those pipes go all around the building.

[Samba Schutte]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

You brush your teeth. I brush my teeth.

[Samba Schutte]

Right, right, right. And it's 9:30pm Seven minute showers now. Seven minute showers, yeah, that's right. No. So yeah, they're very like the first time I moved to Holland, I was shocked because I was raised in Africa where you greet strangers on the street like, hey, how's it going? Good, how are you? Hey. Or salam alaikum. Walaikum salam, or whatever it is. I was walking down the street in Holland, man was walking toward me. I go, good morning. And he looks at me, chooses not to respond and keeps walking. And that's the first time I was like, Dutch people, they don't have the African heart. And that's exactly like who has stolen the African heart.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, from Holland.

[Samba Schutte]

Right. Why? So it's just there, they can be cold, they can be direct, they can be cold.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's from a place of just coldness.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, it's cold most of the year there anyway. But it's also just like, I don't know, I don't know what it is. It's like, I don't know you. Why would I say hi to you? It doesn't make sense.

[Pete Holmes]

Is it? You're dangerous.

[Samba Schutte]

Maybe this was right around 9 11, don't go up to somebody say salaam alaikum. And I'm kidding. I didn't say salaam alaikum. I was just like, good morning. And he was like. And walked on. Yeah, but Dutch people are very direct and honest as well, so they will not hide their true feelings from you. I was on a bus once and there was this big African dude. We were on the bus from Paris to Amsterdam. It's like the Euro line was one of those big buses. Big African dude and he's wearing a wife beater. And I'm sorry to say he had terrible PO coming from his armpits. Right. And all of the bus, the rest of us were sitting there like. Like we're just going to take it for whatever the eight hours ride that it was. We're just going to take it.

[Pete Holmes]

You're on the B O railroad.

[Samba Schutte]

Yes. One Dutch guy on the bus walks up to the guy and goes with a bottle of deodorant. Excuse me, could you please use this because it doesn't smell very nice. And I prayed for him so hard in that moment because I'm like, you're a dead man. You are. You embarrass this guy. The guy just glared at him and the Dutch guy walked back to his seat. But then the guy did put down his arm and put it down. So the Dutch man saved us for the rest of the bus ride by being super honest. But I was terrified for him in that moment.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know if I've told the story before, but when I worked at Bennigan's, 150 South Michigan in Chicago, there was a guy and I. Everybody felt terrible in this situation. But there was an unhoused guy. He came in the restaurant, he sat down at a table and like literally everybody like left. Like it was a real bad smell situation. And Gary, this manager, Gary had the energy of like a black preacher. He was, he was so charismatic. He was good looking. He dressed fantastic. I just loved Gary. We all loved Gary and he was no nonsense. And we were like, gary, we don't know what to do. He was like in my. This guy was in my section. I'm like, I don't know what to do. But there's a guy and it's a situation.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Gary goes up to him, squatted down, like, looked him right in the eye, like, you know, manto, man, face to face, I guess you should say, didn't. Like, he went into the right.

[Samba Schutte]

The zone.

[Pete Holmes]

The zone. He went. He was in the zone.

[Samba Schutte]

In the green zone.

[Pete Holmes]

And he said, sir, I need to ask you to leave. And then he said. And the guy was like, why? And he goes, because you do not smell fresh. And I thought that was. I was like, okay, Gary, how long.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Did it take you to come up with that?

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Because you smell bad is like, what most.

[Samba Schutte]

Most people would say, because you stink.

[Pete Holmes]

But he goes, you do not smell fresh. It's not that you stink.

[Samba Schutte]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

So you don't smell fresh. Right, Trey?

[Samba Schutte]

Dutch, which is a very. Yes. Which is very. A nice touch. Is very.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, Although a Dutch might just be.

[Samba Schutte]

Like, yeah, you stink. Please, please, please leave the building. You stink.

[Pete Holmes]

There's a restaurant.

[Samba Schutte]

You stink. Yeah, you stink. We cannot eat. You stink. Please leave the building. Yes. Very.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow. Okay, so you were. Then after you won this competition, you said you had three Dutch standup specials.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, three Dutch specials. Toured around Holland, tour around the world. And by then, I had enough credits.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Samba Schutte]

To apply for my visa to move to America, because I applied for this.

[Pete Holmes]

What was that time? Like, Were you a superstar?

[Samba Schutte]

I was. I mean, I was on the Dutch version of the Daily show as a correspondent. I had a movie. I had. Yeah. Like, I was the up and cominging physical African comedian who is positive, upbeat, energetic, and, yeah. Entertaining. So people loved my jokes, loved my shows, love my thing. And so there was a lot of success. There was a lot of money, but I wanted to move to America. That was the goal. The whole time.

[Pete Holmes]

I hear you. Was it tempting to stay? You're like, hey, absolutely. I'm having, like, a look. I don't want to perpetuate the idea that only America. Fame is. Is true. No, but you had a calling.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like Fievel.

[Samba Schutte]

Right. And my DVDs, Go west that I had to deliver.

[Pete Holmes]

And you had a DVD that you needed signed, and you're on the Dutch Daily Show.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And did that feel like. I imagine it felt where it was, like, so close to what you really wanted.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. There's, like, fourth language.

[Pete Holmes]

In a language.

[Samba Schutte]

I was, like, struggling to understand. Right. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then you do segments.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And your Dutch must be getting pretty good.

[Samba Schutte]

It was getting better and better and better, for sure. The shows were in Dutch. Everything was in Dutch. Dutch. Dutch. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. But I wanted. I wanted to perform in English because I felt so restricted in Dutch. Of course, I had to memorize everything, but I got better at improv here and there, but I had to memorize everything because I could not.

[Pete Holmes]

What was your improv line like? Was there something that you had this guy. Was there something. Because if I was doing that gig, I would have to be like some save line right way. Did you have anything in Dutch that you knew how to say? Like, if you. If there wasn't anything to say?

[Samba Schutte]

No, it was just the use the physical comedy, you know, and just be like, whatever, you know, so. So, yeah, it was very much memorized, but I felt so restricted. I was like, I knew I needed to move to America where I could do it in English.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Samba Schutte]

And also to the bigger market where I could have more positive impact on, you know, know, this whole thing back to 8 years old.

[Pete Holmes]

This is a movie. Your life is a movie. We're going to see, like, your translucent dad being like, use your privilege. Use your.

[Samba Schutte]

Remember your privilege, remember.

[Pete Holmes]

But he's evil for some reason.

[Samba Schutte]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

Remember your privilege and use it to help. And you're like, all right.

[Samba Schutte]

Like, why do you have a British accent, dad?

[Pete Holmes]

Enjoy the Steven Spielberg.

[Samba Schutte]

Say hi to Steven for me.

[Pete Holmes]

And if you see her, I.

[Samba Schutte]

You see.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't tell me.

[Samba Schutte]

It'S raining. I.

[Pete Holmes]

This episode is also brought to us by our friends at Ritual, the makers of the best multivitamin and po Pre, Pre, post and probiotic. A probiotic, basically, but three different kinds called Symbiotic plus. I take both of these every morning. I take their daily for men, and I take their Symbiotic plus plus every single day. It's got a minty aftertaste, which I love. And the main thing that people have against multivitamins is that you just pee them out, that you don't absorb them. Ritual has a delayed release capsule, which means it breaks down in your lower intestine, which means it actually gets into your body to fill those gaps in your diet. I used to have all sorts of problems when I got my blood work done at my yearly physical. Ritual is seriously helped with all of that. And according to cdc. The cdc, fewer men than women meet the minimal daily intake recommendations for fruits and vegetables. So, guys, you got to get the daily wants from men into your life. You're more likely to overvalue exercise and undervalue nutrition. So stop it. Enter Ritual Multivitamin, scientifically developed for men to fill those gaps in your diet. I love starting my day with Ritual. It gets me ready to start my day. Makes me feel good that I know that I'm covering 10 key nutrients in two delayed release capsules per day that dissolve, as I said, in the small intestine. It's gentle on an empty stomach, which means you can Take it while you're fasting and it won't upset your belly. So Essential for Men is a quality multivitamin from a company you can trust. You can trace all of the nutrients in there, which is incredible. They're incredibly transparent. Just a wonderful company, top to bottom, making a wonderful product. So do your body a favor and support the show as well. Get 25 off your first month for a limited time at ritual.com weird. Start ritual or add Essential for Men or try symbiotic plus as well to your subscription today. That's ritual.com weird for 25 off. And almost every episode is brought to us by our friends at Modern Mammals. I'll make this real quick, guys. You know I'm obsessed with modern mammals. It's the only shampoo that cleans your hair but doesn't strip it of all the natural oils that you need. Have it look good and keep it in control. When I use shampoo, it looks like a bale of hay you just took out of the dryer. It looks terrible. I used to not wash it. That was my strategy. Now my strategy. Use Modern Mammals. Keeps it clean, keeps it wonderful to touch, wonderful to feel. Smelling great and looking like you didn't wash it, frankly, which has always been my style. Now I just use Modern Mammals. It's an absolute, absolute, absolute game changer. Get it? Modernmammals.com use promo code WEIRD. You can try both the bar and the bottle for 44 bucks, and they last a really, really long time. So go to modernmammals.com use promo code weird at checkout. All right, everybody, back to the show. Okay, so you have enough points on your visa. I don't even know what that means. No, you get the red, white and blue light and you get to come.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, basically, I'm allowed to America because I'm considered now an alien of extraordinary ability.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that what it is?

[Samba Schutte]

That's the visa. You're an alien of extraordinary ability. You are able to prove that you're extraordinary in the field that you're in. I was extraordinary in my field of comedian and actor because I achieved all these things. In America, there's 10 criteria to qualify as an alien of extraordinary ability. You have to prove that you're a celebrity. You have to prove that you are outstanding in your field, that you make more money than others in your field, that. That celebrities endorse you. You have to come up with recommendation letters by celebrities who write for you about you, how great you are, how one in a million you are. You have to sound extraordinary. And then the immigration officer goes, okay. And then, welcome to America.

[Pete Holmes]

Like getting quotes for the back of a book. But you're the book.

[Samba Schutte]

You're the book. And some of these letters I've had to write by myself because the others did not feel comfortable. They're Dutch. They're like, I don't feel comfortable praising you. Do you mind?

[Pete Holmes]

So you wrote it.

[Samba Schutte]

Do you mind writing it for me?

[Pete Holmes]

So it's exactly like getting quotes from the back of your mind.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, yeah. That's how it works. Do you mind if I say my book is amazing, though?

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, no. Yeah. I've known people that wrote forwards, but that means that someone that works for them wrote it. They read it.

[Samba Schutte]

Right. And they go, okay, I'll put my name underneath. So I had to do it that way.

[Pete Holmes]

Just be too busy.

[Samba Schutte]

That's why. And I understand that. Or some people don't feel comfortable.

[Pete Holmes]

So Robbie Williams writes you a letter.

[Samba Schutte]

I know. So I get a letter of recommendation by all these people.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, Mr. Bean.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, Mr. Bean writes one.

[Pete Holmes]

It's his drawings.

[Samba Schutte]

It's just a drawing of a teddy bear. Okay, so you do know him.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, so who did it for you? Who? Who?

[Samba Schutte]

Dutch actors, Dutch directors, TV producers, Daily show guys, network executives, that kind of stuff. I had enough material to qualify for this visa to come to America. So finally, Pete, after I don't know how long, like, I was in Holland for about 10 years of just trying to get this to come to America. So I'm finally in America with this visa. I'm ready to get my career started. Started. And I find out that networks don't take actors on the O1 visa. They take actors on the green card only. And this happened because I research you. I know you. You wrote for this TV show called Outsourced, correct?

[Pete Holmes]

Yep. That was my. My first big break.

[Samba Schutte]

Really?

[Pete Holmes]

It got me to la. Yeah. I would consider that my first big.

[Samba Schutte]

Okay, so I know Rizwan Manji was on it and Parvechina and all that stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

This was my first big audition when I moved to LA for Outsourced. Outsourced.

[Pete Holmes]

Get the fuck.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, probably.

[Pete Holmes]

You were in my office.

[Samba Schutte]

Well, I was on the Universal lot, the backlog. It was Shani Gisberg, the casting director.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. This wasn't. Because sometimes we would have the actors hanging out in the writer's studio, but that must have been for. Because it was on Radford.

[Samba Schutte]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

Cbs Radford.

[Samba Schutte]

No, this. This. Yeah. This was like the backlog. No, this is the backlot. Of Universal. Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

You would know from your video.

[Samba Schutte]

From my video game. I recognized it.

[Pete Holmes]

You also requested it. They were like, it's CBS Radford.

[Samba Schutte]

And you're like, like, could I please have you? Do you know who I am? I'm an alien of extraordinary ability.

[Pete Holmes]

So according to yon Stewart, Yan Yan Stewart Y. Stewart wrote a handwritten recommendation with his signature.

[Samba Schutte]

The audition was an Indian man who was dressed like a woman, basically in drag. It was for one of the episodes where this Indian man is dressed as a woman. Co star role. And so I wore drag as an Indian guy because I was cast as an Indian guy a lot before they actually realized I was African. I show up to the office in drag. I do the audition. The casting directors love me, want to book me, ask me, do you have a green card? I'm like, no, I have the O1 visa. I worked really hard for it. And is my paperwork da, da, da. Like, I'm sorry. We only take actors on the green card. We don't take O1 visa. Why? It's a valid visa because it's temporary. It's only for three years. And God knows, if you get picked up again or whatever on the show, there's no guarantee you'll be in America. So only green card. So.

[Pete Holmes]

So they won't book you.

[Samba Schutte]

They won't book me in case the.

[Pete Holmes]

Indian guy in women's clothing comes back.

[Samba Schutte]

Comes back in season four. Right.

[Pete Holmes]

What if this guy is in season four, right? And then the fans are like, recast Aunt Viv.

[Samba Schutte]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, you can recast Katie Holmes and Batman Begins.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

You can't. You cannot replace this man in drag from season one. Literally, that is Steven.

[Samba Schutte]

Even have a character name. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Bureaucratic bullshit, right? I'm fucking livid.

[Samba Schutte]

So you come here after all this hard work and for three years you can't book network TV because networks don't take take actors on the O1 visa only on the green card. So for three years, I cannot book work on TV. So I do stand up comedy here instead. Gather enough evidence again to apply for my green card for aliens of extraordinary ability, which I finally do get. And now, finally, I can audition for TV and all this kind of stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that the same thing you had to get people?

[Samba Schutte]

Oh, I had to get letters from, like, celebrities, you know, executives, producers in America up. So, for example, Terry Rosio, he's an amazing guy. He wrote Pirates of the Caribbean. You know, he's like. He wrote Shrek and all this kind of stuff. Did a short film with him. And I asked him, hey, Terry, do you mind writing a letter for me? He's like, you write it. I'm too busy writing Pirates of the Caribbean. 6, 6, 16. You write it. I'll. I'll sign off. Whoa. And that was massive. Like, a huge help. And just. Yeah. So again, in those three years, you have to gather all this evidence and stand out in your field as a comedian, as an actor, prove you're extraordinary so you can qualify for the green card to stay in America permanently as an alien of extraordinary ability.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Samba Schutte]

So, yeah, it was an exhausting journey. Because you come to America after this exhausting journey, you're like, finally, my career can start. And. No, you're like, two steps back, you have to start again, gathering all this evidence that you're extraordinary, doing all these things. So I'm tired, Pete. And I just got my green card, like, a couple of years ago. I could finally start doing what I came here to do. My DVD box is still ready to be delivered inside. And I've. It's been 20 years since that day where I was like, I'm coming to America. I'm gonna do this thing. And finally, now I can start getting things going.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, we have a choice, don't we? There's two ways to look at it. I think we know we've made our choice. We could be like, God damn, there's all this stuff we could have been doing.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Or you could just be like, and off we go.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, right, right.

[Pete Holmes]

It is a little frustrating.

[Samba Schutte]

I mean, it was tempting to go back to Holland. Be like, I had an amazing life there. Like, why not? It's like, no, I'm here. I need that. Had a. I need Stephen to sign my DVD set.

[Pete Holmes]

The Dutch Night of the Soul. That's called when you're like, I shouldn't have left Holland.

[Samba Schutte]

Right, right. Shouldn't have left Holland, shouldn't have gone.

[Pete Holmes]

But you stuck with it. And then when. What was your first big thing with your green card? Green card. And then it was just like. And then you book nothing.

[Samba Schutte]

And then you just.

[Pete Holmes]

Nothing. And they're like, oh, you could. Oh, you could, but you have to.

[Samba Schutte]

Become a citizen now. Oh.

[Pete Holmes]

I meant they were like, we just don't like you.

[Samba Schutte]

We just didn't like you to start off.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

Network show called Sunnyside. NBC series regular. I'd gone from doing background work to getting a pilot audition. Allison Jones, amazing casting director. I'm sure you know her. I was a huge fan of her work. Met her in the office. She Was lovely. She basically rooted for me.

[Pete Holmes]

You just had a general with her or something?

[Samba Schutte]

No, it was an audition for this. They were looking for a very specific kind of role. It was a Somalian cab driver. And then I walked in. I'm saying I did not grow up in Somalia. I grew up in Ethiopia, which is right next door. So I can do that. They're like, yes. And they changed the character.

[Pete Holmes]

And they're like, yeah, we all knew it's right next door. You didn't.

[Samba Schutte]

I mean, we.

[Pete Holmes]

Or Somalia and Ethiopia have been hugging for centuries. They're snuggle buns. They're Netflix and chillin. Everyone knows Somalia is right next to Ethiopia and north of Lake Victoria.

[Samba Schutte]

Right? Of course, of course, of course.

[Pete Holmes]

And not near Egypt. Not kind of different African country and pretty far from the weird southern one. Madagascar is where Chris Rock is a zebra or whatever. Americans describing Africa geography, like, by cartoons.

[Samba Schutte]

And all this stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

We know South Africa, you know, Madagascar.

[Samba Schutte]

And we know Madagascar and Morocco for some reason.

[Pete Holmes]

Morocco.

[Samba Schutte]

Everyone knows Marco Casablanca. Yeah, yeah, there you go.

[Pete Holmes]

Exactly. That's why.

[Samba Schutte]

That's why.

[Pete Holmes]

Keep hitting it. So Allison Jones.

[Samba Schutte]

Jones, Amazing roots. Me, puts me in front of Mike Scher, who's an exec on this, and he's done the Office. He's done all these other things. Boom. I get cast as a series regular. They change the character to Ethiopian, and lo and behold, I'm the first Ethiopian character and a network American TV show as a series regular. Wow. So that changed my life. And that basically was like, oh, I got my green card. I'm on a network show show doing this series regular. Let's go. It's with Cal Penn. It's called Sunnyside. It's about immigrants trying to get their green card and become citizens in America. So it's, like, perfect in down my land.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm glad because there was part of, you know, coming up with Kumail. I remember Kumail was like, I'm. I. I don't want to speak for Kumail, but I remember there being discussions of, like, the only roles out there are, like, things like cab driver things, like, in a bad way.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

This wasn't in a.

[Samba Schutte]

This wasn't that.

[Pete Holmes]

This was a real way way. He wasn't like a real story.

[Samba Schutte]

Not just. No.

[Pete Holmes]

Isn't it funny that I'm a stereotype?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. No, it was like an actual immigrant trying to get his, you know, very positive, very everything. So it was very.

[Pete Holmes]

It was you.

[Samba Schutte]

It was me. Yeah. Yeah. And that was perfect how that came together on the Universal Studios lot.

[Pete Holmes]

Get the out of here.

[Samba Schutte]

Never ran into Spielberg, but that's where I was like, I'm here. I, I. This is where I shot Quentin Tarantino. Kissing Jennifer Aniston. As Pen and Teller were getting arrested by the police for.

[Pete Holmes]

They just immediately give you a shot of some sedative, put you in an amulet.

[Samba Schutte]

I'm just there.

[Pete Holmes]

I swear to God, I was eight years old. I directed Quentin Tarantino. We made a mistake.

[Samba Schutte]

I know. This guy's.

[Pete Holmes]

He's Somalian again. Open up the auditions.

[Samba Schutte]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's go.

[Samba Schutte]

Allison. Bring out the Somalian. So, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Unbelievable. I'm going to be in a good mood the rest of the day because of this story.

[Samba Schutte]

Full story, full circle. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. And then from Sunnyside, which doesn't sound like it went more than.

[Samba Schutte]

Didn't do really well after three episodes.

[Pete Holmes]

Pulled.

[Samba Schutte]

Pulled because we had an ICE episode in episode three, and I don't mean cold water, guys. No. One of our friends gets arrested, wants to be deported. We go to the ICE office to get him out. We make fun of ice. And our show was just before Law and Order. And Dick Wolf, who's a very powerful man, has done incredible shows for NBC, did not like our show being before his show. And so instead of rescheduling us, I think NBC panicked, and they're like, we're gonna put you online on NBC.com, which wasn't a thing. They didn't have peacock NBC.com so our episodes would air on this website. And they pulled us after three episodes. We were shooting episode seven by then, we found out, but they're like, no, we'll give you an extra episode. So you get 11 episodes instead of 10 to show that we have goodwill toward you, which was nice. We got an extra episode, but they were all online notice seeing them anyway. So that was my first experience with network tv being pulled after three and kind of being like, okay, this is just the politics of how it works. But, you know, we're still gonna do the show. I'm still gonna Finish this run. 11 episodes. I'm still gonna give it my all, and it'll open more opportunities. And after that run, it did, you know, Covid hit right after. And so everything was down for a year or two. But then a year later, I get an audition again with Allison Jones for this pirate show. Our flag means death. And again, a character that was from my region, Mauritania, I made him Mauritanian. And then, boom. That went for two seasons in a referee riffing.

[Pete Holmes]

Coming all the way from Mauritania.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, stop saying that.

[Samba Schutte]

You know, in Mauritania, no one knows it. It.

[Pete Holmes]

Tao is like, if you say that.

[Samba Schutte]

I know. If you speak of Mauritania one more time. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's incredible.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

How'd that audition process go?

[Samba Schutte]

That was amazing. So basically, I found out about our flag. Means death in the summertime. I got the script from a friend and she was like, this is perfect for you, Samba. I found out Allison Jones was casting it. I reach out to my team, I'm like, please tell Allison I would love to audition for this. I'd love to see a character that I'm going to be perfect for. Six months go by, no news. I check in again, they're like, oh, Samba. All the roles have been cast. It's over. I'm sad. Six months go by, I'm living my life, doing my thing, whatever. Audition comes up on a Saturday. Our flag means death. One character. He's a. He's the cook and the doctor and. And his name's Roach. And so we need this by tomorrow. Five scenes.

[Pete Holmes]

You got it. One day.

[Samba Schutte]

One day to do five scenes on a Saturday day. Do Sunday. Quick casting, quick turnaround.

[Pete Holmes]

Besides have a plane ticket stapled to them. Just says your name here.

[Samba Schutte]

Just like, just in case. Just in case. So now I'm like, perfect. This is what I wanted. Let's do it. I do the audition, create the character as myself.

[Pete Holmes]

Cuz, who do you prep it with?

[Samba Schutte]

My wife. She reads with my wife. She reads with me. She reads every audition with me.

[Pete Holmes]

Cute.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. And so. And so we're in our little studio apartment and then I dress up as the pirate and I'm making him my own because they don't give any character description. Just like, he's the cook, he's the medicine. He's kind of like seeing everything. So I make him tough guy and I make him from Mauritania. And in my slate, I say I'm choosing to make him from Mauritania because back then you had the Berber pirates. And let's just make this guy Berber because he moved to America or to the Caribbean.

[Pete Holmes]

This in the slate.

[Samba Schutte]

In the slate. It's like a three minute slate.

[Pete Holmes]

Would your wife have to use a wide lens for your balls? Yikes.

[Samba Schutte]

It was like. It was Allison Jones.

[Pete Holmes]

So I was like, no, I know, I know.

[Samba Schutte]

I knew I was in good at hands.

[Pete Holmes]

It was a. It's a brave move. I'm trying to just compliment. Most people are coming in scared, right? You're like, hi, I'll tell you my.

[Samba Schutte]

Name first, but first let me tell you about this character.

[Pete Holmes]

And this is my height.

[Samba Schutte]

This is what I'm going to do.

[Pete Holmes]

You go off a Wikipedia entry on Morania pirates. Then you go, and I'm six, six foot two.

[Samba Schutte]

I was close.

[Pete Holmes]

I was close. And you're like, and I'm not doing a side. It makes me feel like I'm in prison. Here we go.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then you did it.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. All five and all five scenes. And then five days later I book it and boom. I'm part of this show for two. Two amazing seasons. And it's. It's changed my life.

[Pete Holmes]

Is it doing a third?

[Samba Schutte]

Unfortunately, no. Didn't get picked up by Max because.

[Pete Holmes]

Didn't get picked up.

[Samba Schutte]

No, I mean, as a. For a third season. Because no money. They don't have money. It's an expensive show to make.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

We're filming in New Zealand. It's got a pirate ship. One of those green screens.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

Lots of actors, big ensemble. Pricey. Yeah, yeah. But amazing following. The fans are like, amazing. We have a great following and it's opened many doors for me. Legions, fan arts, everything. Like, the whole thing. Like, I've never experienced it in my life. And so, yeah, it's been a good two years. The day I found out the show was canceled was the day my son was being born.

[Pete Holmes]

How do we feel about this?

[Samba Schutte]

It was a very weird day. My wife is in labor. We're in the hospital. Repeat. I get the text. We're not going for a third season, guys. Max chose not to go for a third season, unfortunately. And I did not plan on starting fatherhood. Unemployed. Like, you know, I did not plan on starting fatherhood with the question, had.

[Pete Holmes]

You just bought a house or anything?

[Samba Schutte]

We just moved to a bigger apartment because we were in a studio for like 12 years. One.

[Pete Holmes]

So you did kind of like a season two move.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, we're like, okay, okay, we're gonna move to a two bedroom, have a bit more space.

[Pete Holmes]

Two bedrooms.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. Third season, we buy a house. I'm kidding. So just moved to, you know, new apartment, everything like that. And then I get the text and it was weird because on one end you're getting all these text messages that the show is over. I'm so sorry. You know, death, grief, desperation. I'm so darkness. And on the other hand, your son is being born. New life is coming to this world. Hope, light. So it was a very weird dance by the universe.

[Pete Holmes]

Lightning, crash. Ashes.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

An old TV show dies. Do you know that song?

[Samba Schutte]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a live song where an old woman dies while a baby's being born. Oh. How old are you?

[Samba Schutte]

40.

[Pete Holmes]

All right.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You gotta pass.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that 45? So I think maybe that was Lightning Crashes Was hot.

[Samba Schutte]

Was it hot here in America? Was it hot in Ethiopia?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. I remember being. When I was in Uganda and they were listening to the Men and Women Black soundtrack, and I was like, really?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

There's something that are international.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But that's, like. That's real hit.

[Samba Schutte]

No. Men in Black was, like, massive.

[Pete Holmes]

I remember.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But not.

[Samba Schutte]

Not whatever you just said.

[Pete Holmes]

Live is no Men in Black. Sorry. Live.

[Samba Schutte]

Sorry. I'm sorry. You're not Uganda good. No.

[Pete Holmes]

You're not Uganda famous.

[Samba Schutte]

No. You're not Uganda famous.

[Pete Holmes]

So it got canceled as your son is being born same day. And did you find a way to mourn the show at some point? I.

[Samba Schutte]

It's hard because you can't be in a space of mourning while this new life is.

[Pete Holmes]

I meant later. You had to, like, hit pause on it.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

But did you.

[Samba Schutte]

You can't hit pause when you're with a new baby. Yeah. Either. You don't have time to process. Would you, like. You just launched it. Can we. Can we.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. It does suck. Yeah. Because it sucks.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That was. That was like a hit.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Cult.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Not just like. Cult isn't a way of saying not a hit. I mean, like, fervent.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Hit.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Great dream people.

[Samba Schutte]

Re Amazing. Yeah. Re t. Like the whole bunch of.

[Pete Holmes]

The cast and crew and like, something that you built from the ground up. That was. That worked.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But, you know, I'm not just saying this. And I wouldn't just say this to anybody. Come on, Samba. Come on. I'm sitting here going like. Like, what do I got for Samba? Like, how do I get involved with this guy? Because you're clearly just gonna go on to something great.

[Samba Schutte]

Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

Wonderful. If you haven't already, I bet.

[Samba Schutte]

I mean, some things are, you know, kicking around. Kicking around. And I'm excited for what's next. You know, this story could be it, too. Just this. This whole thing. I mean, you know, when you get a baby, you get motivated to do, you know, to. To get life going. Going, you know? You can't just sit around anymore already.

[Pete Holmes]

When I met you. Right. When your baby was.

[Samba Schutte]

Yes. We were at the Largo, and that's where we met. And you told me having. Like. I was like, how's it to be a dad? Because you're telling me you're a dad and I. You said, imagine the first couple of months as if you're camping.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that's what Rich Blomquist told me. Chris and Charles, husband.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Did that help?

[Samba Schutte]

We're still camping. But when does the camping trip end, Pete? Because I haven't slept in three months, Pete. And. And I'm only half white. I can only enjoy camping so much.

[Pete Holmes]

That is so funny.

[Samba Schutte]

Before.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

I don't want to camp anymore.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah. There's a fine line between camping and just not having a place, dude, you know, if there's any comfort in this, parenting is so much harder than anyone knows.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And people say this, right? You heard movie.

[Samba Schutte]

You hear it, but you're like. People say it when it happens, and.

[Pete Holmes]

Then it happens, and you're like, oh, my God. And every kid is different. How old is your son?

[Samba Schutte]

He's gonna turn three months in a couple weeks.

[Pete Holmes]

You just said I haven't slept in three months.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You're gonna be fine. It's gonna get better real soon.

[Samba Schutte]

So everyone says that, right? They go the first three days. Get through the first three days.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

You're like, okay, okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

And then go the first three weeks. Just get through the first three weeks. Gonna be as you go, okay, okay, okay. Yeah. They say the first three months. Through the first three months, it's gonna be okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

Okay. Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

You go ahead the first three years. They go, get through the first three years, and then it's gonna be okay. And then they go. And I'm like, I swear to God, if you say the first 30 years, I'm gonna kill you.

[Pete Holmes]

I will say, they do. Keep moving the goalposts. Because that's the only strategy, right? People go, terrible twos, right? And you're like, oh, it's just the terrible twos.

[Samba Schutte]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

And then it's the threes. And they go, three Nager. Like, I'm sorry. How many cute.

[Samba Schutte]

With every number.

[Pete Holmes]

Every four. Zilla Forzilla.

[Samba Schutte]

All right, five.

[Pete Holmes]

Barely Alive. What is happening? And we. We've noticed that it's one of those insane things. I'm not trying to be sappy. It only makes sense to your heart. It's not. I'm not trying to be cute.

[Samba Schutte]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

Your head will never go, no, this. This. This is working, right? You'll always just go, like, we're getting rocked. Yeah, we're getting rocked for longer than we thought we would.

[Samba Schutte]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

And the only comfort. And not to make it sound like it's the this huge tragedy or anything, but the comfort is just solidarity. It's just people being like us too. Yeah. It's. It's rough and it's. And it's rougher and it's not what it looks. It's not what it is in movies right now. It is intention. No one would want to see that.

[Samba Schutte]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

In fact, there have been a couple shows that I think tried to do like real parenting.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And parents don't want to watch it.

[Samba Schutte]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Because it's nine o'. Clock. You get one hour.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

What do you want to watch someone else?

[Samba Schutte]

You want to watch a special? You want to watch someone else suffer with kids?

[Pete Holmes]

Why would you. And then single people don't want to watch it.

[Samba Schutte]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

So that's like a really tricky demographic. So it's really just us.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'll put this back to you. Is. Have you noticed just like in the way that we're all so isolated, raising kids is, is, is sort of the. One of the worst things about that, meaning the whole. It takes a village.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, you see, it's us, it's you and your partner and your kid. And you're like, we need five more people.

[Samba Schutte]

Right? Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You just do.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And what fucking sucks is we have that resource.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm going to put this all back to you.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

We have a deep bench of grannies and puppies and, and cousins. But we're all so separated. This isn't new territory. But like we've, we've spread it out.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Like a weird, like something somebody in a village would have a vision, like a spirit quest vision and be like, there's a horrible future where we all spread away. Look, I, I personally am happy to have some distance between me and my family.

[Samba Schutte]

But. Right.

[Pete Holmes]

There's times when you're like, you do need the hands. You need it.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And what with my friend group, we're really like deliberately as a group being like, we need drop off energy, we need bring your kid over, we need tap out energy. Without it, I, I just don't know how this thing works.

[Samba Schutte]

No, it's hard and it's tricky. I mean, and then, you know, on my end, my whole family is like on the other side of the world. Right. I'm here by myself, so it's really my wife's family that has had to step in from time to time and help out.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah. By the way. Same, same.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Not for the same reason, but like just for one reason or another. It's. It was more my wife's family.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

They're out here.

[Samba Schutte]

Right, Right. Yeah. So it's. But at the same time, the tricky thing with America is everyone has to work to survive. So everyone is so busy with their own lives that it's hard to create a village. You know, you have to really make an effort to, like, can you come this weekend? Can you drop off this soup? Can you. Otherwise everyone is just so busy trying to survive life.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

You know, whereas in Africa, it's like, people are around. There's a house is full of people around who can take your baby for a second, hold your baby, and you do your thing, by the way.

[Pete Holmes]

That's all you need.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know that feeling. I know you do.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Can I just take a shower?

[Samba Schutte]

That's not. Just seven minutes. Can I just take a nice 20 minute shower?

[Pete Holmes]

20 minutes? Yeah, exactly 20 minutes.

[Samba Schutte]

Right. Can I just not scarf this dinner down in 10 minutes? Can I actually just.

[Pete Holmes]

It does get better. I'm not just saying that, but you're right on the money. It's like you just need to kind of. The gift of it. There's all these, like, hidden gifts and the brokenness. And when you're humbled and you go, we can't do this alone.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you have to reach out. Just. Just keep reaching out and. And keep finding people. Because again, I'm thinking about my friend Sam, and he's just like. I just. He texts us and he's like, we're making pancakes tomorrow morning.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Drop the kids off.

[Samba Schutte]

Right. Just.

[Pete Holmes]

Leela doesn't really rock that way, but she will eat the pancakes with the other kids while we relax.

[Samba Schutte]

Nice.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's nice.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Little things like that.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So we are the.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

We're our own solution.

[Samba Schutte]

Right. No, that's nice.

[Pete Holmes]

It is about to get a lot once you hit. I know everybody tells you this. I don't want to keep moving the goalpost, but 18 months is when you're like, oh, okay. It's when you'll meet your baby.

[Samba Schutte]

Oh.

[Pete Holmes]

And you know what else helps is those apps that tell you what's going on.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. No, we have those. He's like, okay. He's got social cues now. He's smiling and he's a great kid.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, he's really like, mental leaps. He's going through a mental leap.

[Samba Schutte]

Going a mental.

[Pete Holmes]

That's when they're freaking out. Like, he's getting. He's getting a download, like a. A Neo matrix.

[Samba Schutte]

Literally. He's like, eyes are shifting and he's getting all this Kind of stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

And then he can kind of walk.

[Samba Schutte]

What the.

[Pete Holmes]

So weird. Babies have WI Fi. God.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, they do. Babies while their skeletons are growing so quickly.

[Pete Holmes]

And you're just downloading the update, and as the parents, all you do is hit agree. You don't even have time to read it. You don't read it, agree, agree, agree. And then it's got. It'll talk like a Transformer. It transformed into a toddler.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's crazy.

[Samba Schutte]

It is. It is. It's a sponge. You put water on it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Those green, slimy dinosaurs. Crazy.

[Samba Schutte]

So, no, he's a great kid. He's doing great. I'm proud of him. I love him so much, and it's just a joy to experience it. But you. Yes, there is that balance now, the tricky balance now of how will I find the time to write? How will I find the time to do this? That's just the dance we have to do now, right? Yeah. So finding out the show was canceled, the day was born, was like, oh, my whole life has to reset now to be able to find a new gear to push on, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

You know, I don't want to minimize the pain of that, but I. If you subscribe to a worldview that. That the universe is like dancing a dance, you experience something. I haven't even heard anything close to that. You know, like, I haven't known someone. Show canceled and happiest day of your life. Meaning if you were an infinite consciousness and you're like. Because I'm kind of over here going, like, look, it doesn't sound pleasant, but I'm like, what was that like?

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

That was the swirliest Arnold Palmer.

[Samba Schutte]

It was this. This beautiful dance. Well, that's exactly life and death.

[Pete Holmes]

Meaning if you were an alien that couldn't feel right, and you were watching, they'd be like, envy. Like, just sort of like, imagine the symphony of conflicting emotions.

[Samba Schutte]

Right, right.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't even know how I feel about this, because I can't feel.

[Samba Schutte]

Know how to feel.

[Pete Holmes]

And you're like, you were the opposite of dead is what I'm saying. You were deeply, painfully right and joyfully alive.

[Samba Schutte]

Alive and present. Like, super, super present.

[Pete Holmes]

You were right there.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You were right.

[Samba Schutte]

No. And so that's what made it so intense, is that it was such a day where I had to be super present with my wife and my son coming out while hearing this news. And so that's the beauty of the universe. I see it. You know, I don't know if you've noticed. I'm Someone who's always got a positive outlook on life, always just tries to see the best things that have happened in life and see how I can use those moments to. To move on to the next thing. And that was just such a poetic moment of life and death. Just that dance between life and life, like experiencing birth itself is this beautiful dance of life and death. As a dad, you're just watching your partner. Or as a husband, you're watching your partner go through this.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, she's.

[Samba Schutte]

You're powerless.

[Pete Holmes]

She's sort of dying.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That's. That's a type of death. Meaning you, not a dad was dying.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Her, not a mom dying, and at.

[Samba Schutte]

The same time being born. Mom is being born. Dad is being born, baby is being born.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Samba Schutte]

And so.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God. You'll never have something that just reminds you. I've been saying it a lot, but there's a line in practice at the presence of God where they're like, everything is a straw fire. It's just a fancy. A poetic way of saying everything's impermanent.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Nothing will make that more evident than having a kid. No, you're done.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Not over. I don't mean in a bad way, but you've changed irrevocably. And then you watch this baby change. Change constantly. This is why we get so emotional when we. You'll look at pictures of your baby.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

When he's three months old.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

You'll just be like. Like you won't believe it.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's also this reminder of, like, whoa, this whole thing's on fire.

[Samba Schutte]

Right? No, it's amazing. So how do you do it? How do you balance writing a whole comedy special, for example.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

While you're raising your beautiful daughter.

[Pete Holmes]

The answer is, I. I can't really tell you other than when I did Dirty Clean. My baby was really young. Like, I don't. I'm bad with time, but I think she was about between six months and a year. That's a big differential. But I don't know around there, but I had that joke about don't shake a baby. And I remember I wrote that on. In this house on an envelope while I was rocking her. Like, I woke up and I was like, what they don't tell you is you're gonna want to shake the baby.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And then. So that was sort of happening. Meaning again, to put a positive spin on it. I even had that joke. I was like, the best part of falling asleep, the best part of sleep is falling Asleep.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And now that I have a baby, I do that 22 times a night.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So I was looking for the positive.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Not just to write a joke, but to reframe it.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

For myself. Yeah. So you remember what it is.

[Samba Schutte]

Remember that piece? Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I did like falling asleep all those times. I also fucking was dying.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It was horrible. So there was a time when I was going, say what you want about a baby, but it is a huge disruption. And sometimes a disruption can be helpful for creativity. You know when you fly somewhere, you go to New Zealand to shoot the show.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Sometimes you have that first couple days, you're kind of goofy and like a little more elastic in your brain. Sometimes you can be like completely very sad. But sometimes you're just like.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't know what's going on.

[Samba Schutte]

We're driving on the left side of the road.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And you're just upside down in your mind and. And it helps.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I sometimes thought that the baby was like that. I can more say now the longer that you have the baby, the more you just kind of get better at asking for what you need.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

For both of us, that, that was the lesson. And both Val and I are real sweeties and, and people pleases and. And we just don't want to inconvenience anybody.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

But at a certain point you just go, you get the. You start really owning the value of. Can I please have two hours? Yeah, two hours.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And if you can say without anger or, or, you know what I mean? Because there's a, like, give me two hours. It's like, can we find two hours? And you'd be surprised. You're still in nap time. Is he napping?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

Enjoy. Enjoy nap time. And by the way, I loved when they stopped napping, so don't worry about it. When they stopped napping, I mean, you have. I preferred it because then they go to bed at night.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. Right. There's.

[Pete Holmes]

There's a. There's a give and a take with everything. Everybody's like, nap time's the best.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That shit. Go to bed at 7:30.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Then you get the rest of your night.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

So I don't really have many tips other than in a vague way. I know you can do it. That's all I'll say. There is a way.

[Samba Schutte]

Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

I know it involves asking for what you need.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And I know it involves leaning into what's good about a disruption.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Because your brain is really.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. You have to work so hard to find the focus. And then when you're like, okay, I have an hour to just focus on one task.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

And let me just do this task as best as I can.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, just in general. Sorry, everybody. I'm gonna quote Tony Robbins, but something that Tony Robbins said that really blew me.

[Samba Schutte]

I loved his book. Like, really? Yeah. This is the first book I read about self. Didn't help in, like, Mauritania when I was 14.

[Pete Holmes]

Hey, yeah, Tony. I mean, yeah. Proof pudding.

[Samba Schutte]

It's like, meet your heroes. Visualize meeting your heroes. There we go. Steven's being works with him.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah. Helps. But he said something that is very simple. It's not like a quote or anything. He just goes, like, when you're deciding what to do, let's say you have that one hour. Don't get sucked into what he calls urgent, but not important. And that's like 99 of your. Of your asks, right? And I say it all the time. I don't say it out loud. It would be kind of.

[Samba Schutte]

It would be rude, right?

[Pete Holmes]

But somebody goes like, well, we need to get the windshield wiper fixed on the back of the car. Urgent, but not important.

[Samba Schutte]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

I don't see us going through Mauritania with that sand and needing the back.

[Samba Schutte]

You don't need the back.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not happening right now. It's okay. We'll get that fixed on a weekend, right? I have one hour.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm not going to look at my email.

[Samba Schutte]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm just going to dial in and create first. Right now I'm just giving you. This isn't. I'm not even giving it to you. I've just taken 45 years to go the cream of the day. I give my mornings to coffee, and that's my meditation and study. Like reading about God.

[Samba Schutte]

God.

[Pete Holmes]

Because that's my best me. So I give that on the altar.

[Samba Schutte]

Bam.

[Pete Holmes]

That's the best. Then the next thing, after Leela is at school, and you're gonna love that. First thing is create, right? You gotta create, right? And then open that devil door of what the people are asking of you.

[Samba Schutte]

To do lists or whatever.

[Pete Holmes]

Then you look at it, right? But you give two hours to just the creativity. Because once you open the door, that's gone for me.

[Samba Schutte]

No, you. You can't. It's like, boom.

[Pete Holmes]

And you're tempted. But what if there's a good email, right? Urgent, not important, right? I don't. I can't tell you in my life, right? Maybe count on one hand the number of times I've gotten an Email that was actually urgent. Yeah, they're going to call you.

[Samba Schutte]

I'm a Nigerian prince. Please.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, that in this country, that was a once in a lifetime. And I don't know if that dude got out, but I gave him like, 30 grand, so he's probably rocking.

[Samba Schutte]

Has he sent you his $10 million?

[Pete Holmes]

30 grand. Not a big deal. I'm not surprised he didn't reply to say thank you because, you know, he's a prince.

[Samba Schutte]

30,000? Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That's like giving someone a toothpick to him.

[Samba Schutte]

But, you know, hiring him as your bodyguard for 50 cents a month.

[Pete Holmes]

That prince did want me to kiss a lot of Indian boys, so that's my little tip.

[Samba Schutte]

That's nice.

[Pete Holmes]

For what it's worth. What are you finding? Anything come to mind while I was blabbing and boring?

[Samba Schutte]

No, I mean, it's true. I think just choosing to be present with what task you have to do right then and then there, that's the other thing.

[Pete Holmes]

Thank you.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You just reanimated in my brain. Just do what you're doing.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That is absolutely the key to getting. Not through a baby. Like, you have to just suffer it.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

But just do what you're doing. Suffering comes from rocking a baby and thinking about what time you have to wake up in the morning.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

What does that have to do with anything? No, you're. What, are you going to stop rocking the baby because you realize you need sleep?

[Samba Schutte]

It's like, oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, I can't be doing this.

[Samba Schutte]

No. Whatever. Luck to you, son.

[Pete Holmes]

You can't. You know, you're going to rock it.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And also, like, just neurologically, biochemically, whatever you want to say, fancy words for in your body. You start thinking about your morning, your heart rate goes up. The baby's going to sense that.

[Samba Schutte]

And the baby is sensitive to those feelings, of course. To that energy. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Just. There's no greater parenting hack. It's really. Doesn't seem. It's a compliment. It doesn't seem like you need this, but if my daughter's having a hard time.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Come right in, like Gary and Bennett gets and.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Look them right in the eye, get on their level, and. And they're telling you, yeah, something's off. And it's. And it's probably you.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you can come back to them.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's crazy how energetically that comes.

[Samba Schutte]

You don't smell fresh.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't. Dad. My dude. You're so close. Leela. I was gonna rock. Leela. Val was Rocking. And then she goes, I want dada to rock me. I was rocking her. And then she goes, I want mama to rock me. I'm like, why? Because mama's soft. I'm trying to think of like a dead so fucking ripped.

[Samba Schutte]

Right, right.

[Pete Holmes]

And she goes, no, your breath stinks.

[Samba Schutte]

Oh, wow. All right. Is she Dutch? She's so honest. That's amazing. Excuse me. This doesn't smell very nice.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't smell very nice. Would you like a peppermint? Oh, you're so close. And you get to father a son, you know, which I just think is such an opportunity, you know, because you, you, you really seem like a sensitive, emotionally intelligent, well rounded man.

[Samba Schutte]

Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

To raise a sensitive, intelligent, well rounded man is a real gift to the world, so.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And for women too, there's just obviously you. I don't know if you've noticed this. Nobody's more gender normative than parents at the playground.

[Samba Schutte]

Right? No, I know, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Because there's little girls and then there's some boy and he's on fire.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

No, we're not saying boys will be boys, but you just can. Not all boys are the same. I want to be very clear. Not all boys are the same. But if there's someone eating red ants.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Very good chance that dude's name is Milo. You know what I mean?

[Samba Schutte]

And not Sophia.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Leela's a wild child. But then we hang out with boys and I'm like, God, yeah, I know my kid.

[Samba Schutte]

Everyone's warning us.

[Pete Holmes]

He did a crane kick. He did a full on Karate Kid crane kick through a glass window. Somehow he's not bleeding. He's fine, he's fine, he's fine. All, all people are different and unique and everyone should be treated with respect.

[Samba Schutte]

Preach, preach, preach, preach.

[Pete Holmes]

I have to say, look, I have to say, I don't say.

[Samba Schutte]

It's like, that's not a thing.

[Pete Holmes]

All people are unique. Like, I hate it. Everyone should be treated with respect. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, okay, I really feel that. What do you make of. You just brought. I'm going to load the question with this. You were laying in bed with your wife, right? Wife, yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

Spouse. Spouse, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Something in your blouse. Feeling so aroused. She's asleep and the baby's in her belly. And one day awareness clicked on in the baby and you were just sleeping. What do you make of all this? What do you make of being? What do you make of existence? What do you make of being present? What do you make of God? Do you have any model for Right.

[Samba Schutte]

Well, so my mom's Muslim, my dad's Christian, so I was raised very much aware of both the Quran and the Bible.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

Even though we didn't go to church, My dad is not a churchgoer, and my mom doesn't really go to mosque, but she prays five times a day. Although I have gone to Mecca and Medina and done the whole, like, pilgrimage kind of stuff just to experience it. But as a kid, I was very much trying to combine both religions. So I'd say the Our Father warden heaven prayer while bowing down. You know, the Muslims don't style, you know, just to combine both.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know why I relate so hard to that. I get it.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

You're like, just be like, I know what to do.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. Just merge both two.

[Pete Holmes]

Great taste. To taste great together.

[Samba Schutte]

Right. And so I grew up very much with my parents saying, just find your own spirituality. We're not going to force you to choose one or the other.

[Pete Holmes]

And then your mom was like, but.

[Samba Schutte]

If you're going to be an actor. I'm kidding. The one promise you have to make. Yes. So, no, but yeah, of course, you know, your parents want you to choose maybe the one that works for them. But they were very open and lenient. Wow. And so I, from a very young age, was able to explore different kinds of religions. What's Judaism about, what's Hinduism about, what's Buddhism about? And just reading all these books and things just to learn what are the fundamental aspects of it all. And it just, like, it's taken me 40 years. Not really. I mean, but it's like, after 40 years, I know for sure, sure. That it's not about the title of the religion. It's about just, like, the quality of your imprint that you're gonna leave behind on this earth. That's like, what effect have you had on people? Because how did you relate? Yes. Because once you imagine this, once you pass away. Right. Not me next realm. I mean, you know, not me physically here in this realm. Physically. Prove it. And you're up there and they give you a review of your life, but from the point of view of everyone else. Not your point of view. Just so how you like you, Pete Holmes, are interviewing Samba. You experience this podcast from Samba's point of view. Oh, wow. Imagine that's what happens when you're, like, up there. You get a review. Okay, so we're gonna go through your life, but from the point of view of other people.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm just there going, stop, stop. Interrupt again.

[Samba Schutte]

It's Mauritania. So once I gathered that, that's what kind of life is about, right? It's about us all being the same, us all being one. And what I do to you affects me because you are me. Then it's like, well, how do I treat other people? I want to treat them. You know, the golden rule was always going to stand the test of time. Treat others as you wanted yourself to be treated. But we are just reflections of one another. And so my whole life has just been that. That's been my moving forward aspect of it. It's like, if I'm going to be here sitting with you, I want to connect with you because you are me and I am you. And I want this imprint to be a good one. So when I move on to the next world and I'm watching this movie of my life and I'm seeing this interview through Pete's eyes, I'm like, oh, wow, that samba guy is really cool. You know, I want that experience. Experience and not that, oh, he made me feel this or that or whatever.

[Pete Holmes]

Right?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

He was in the flow, right? Like I would say, the flow is that recognition, right? That real time recognition that changes your behavior.

[Samba Schutte]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

And if you're loving someone as yourself because you recognize deep down that they are yourself, you know, relatively speaking, you're you and I'm me. But highest altitude, right? It's all one, right? It's like, it reminds me. So, Rupert Spyro, my. My favorite teacher. We shouldn't say. I always say that. When I say that, I'm like, I'm sorry.

[Samba Schutte]

H. Your favorite. Really? Really.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, I'll.

[Samba Schutte]

Mr. Johnson's going. Pete.

[Pete Holmes]

Us. Oh, but Rupert, Spiro, one of my favorite teachers, when he was seven, he said to his mom, I feel like this is all God's dream. And it's our job to make sure it's the most beautiful dream. It can be nice, but that's a very non. Dual. Sort of like there's nobody in the other boat. Hey, there's a Ram Dass teaching. He goes, life is like you're in a rowboat and it's a foggy day and you run into another boat and you start yelling like, watch where. Watch where you're going, damn it. The fog clears and there's nobody in the other boat. I ruined the punchline. But, like, you get it. It's not a joke. It's like a. It's a little. It's us.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So I've really gotten so much more juice out of being nice. By willpower than trying to be converted. The renewal of your mind is the. Is what the Bible says is. Because it's a different way of seeing that changes your behavior. But I used to do it backwards. I used to change my behavior so it would look like I had been inverted. And now I work on, like, firming up my own conversion.

[Samba Schutte]

Right? Yeah, yeah. No, I like that because, I mean, yeah, you try in the beginning because you're like. You read all these amazing books, Tony Robbins, all this kind of stuff. And then really, it's about the experience and not the thought of it. Right. It's like, absolutely, I want to be a good person versus is I am being a good person. Those are two very different things.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

And so I'm so glad that I was raised very young to be of service to people and to have those examples of being of service to people from my parents. And that just continues to be the driving force in my life, whether it's through comedy or through acting or through whatever I do. How does this improve this situation? How does this improve this imprint that I'm going to leave behind?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Beautiful dream, right? And when you die, you think we go somewhere else.

[Samba Schutte]

I just think it's dimensions, man. You know how you have a CD?

[Pete Holmes]

I just think it's Dimensions.

[Samba Schutte]

You have a CD, right? You have a CD ROM. Steven Spielberg's Director's Chair. Each CD has a track, right? Track one through 12, whatever it is. And it's the same CD, but you're on track one. And then when you die, you probably go to track two or three or four or five. So it's the same plane of existence. Existence, just different tracks. And so I believe that it's just a different realm of experiencing yourself.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. I love it. That wasn't like a. Right. No, I love it.

[Samba Schutte]

What do you think? You go somewhere else? You stay here.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't think there's anywhere to go. But I hear that's what you're saying, too. When Ramana Maharshi was dying, great Indian saint, they said he had cancer. And he was like, kill yourself. Don't go. And he goes, don't be silly. Where could I go? And that's been. That's not only my belief, but that was. That's been my experience through certain death. Mimicking experience.

[Samba Schutte]

Right, right, right.

[Pete Holmes]

And. But I'll say it every time it comes up because it's. It's. I think it's a beautiful message to share. You don't go anywhere. The. The illusion is cleared and you realize you were There the whole time, right? And the way that I would say that in kind of like a fun way, is you and I are already one with God. We're already in heaven, right? And we're just kind of electing to play this movie inside of ourselves or dance this dance inside of ourselves, because our nature, and I'm speaking as awareness, awareness as nature, is infinite, abundant, expansive. But it can't know itself. So it plays this game like a dream, right? And this is Rupert Spyro. Most of that was Rupert Spyro. But Rupert's like, if you have a dream at night where you're on a Caribbean beach, he's like, how do you experience that beach? You have to localize yourself so your mind is the beach, right? But to experience it, it has to, like, create a seemingly separate entity to give it a point of experience. And he's like, and I, I, I very easily. I've always been a very vivid dreamer, so dream analogies help me a lot, right? And I'm like. I could absolutely see it being like, I'm going to localize as billions of things, right? And there will be more continuity to the. This dream, you know, this isn't like waving and melting right now, right? So it'll have more continuity than our dreams at night, but same similar principle, right? But then when you realize you're like, that's where Tony Robbins goes. This is happening for you. Not to you. You can go like, oh, that's literal.

[Samba Schutte]

Right, Right.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, that's not just, like, a nice thing to know. And it includes all of it, right? The. The light and the dark. It's just all of it.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, it's.

[Pete Holmes]

It's your dream, ultimately. It's your dream, right? Not Samba's dream, right? Not Pete's dream, but it's. And then when you go down this rabbit hole far enough, you end up saying some pretty basic, basic things, like, trust God.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. Trust life. Trust.

[Pete Holmes]

Trust life. Trust the universe. If you want to get the sticky word out of there. I like to say I trust myself because.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't mean Pete.

[Samba Schutte]

I mean. Right.

[Pete Holmes]

The Richard Rohr says it. I'm listening to a lot of Richard again. He's like, God isn't a being. God is being.

[Samba Schutte]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

And I was like, and you are being. And I'm not saying I'm having the experience of being God, but like, like what? God is the ground of my being and all that sort of stuff.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So.

[Samba Schutte]

No, that's true. And. And trust life was. Was the quote that got me to America. Because I was in Holland. Like I said, I was doing really well. And then I was like, okay, I. I think it's time to go to America. And so I was in. Taking some time off. I took 10 days off. I went to Portugal, this remote, remote village.

[Pete Holmes]

Portuguese.

[Samba Schutte]

Portuguese. But very delicious food, delicious people. And I was wandering around. Why do you have an Indian accent? I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't ask too many questions.

[Samba Schutte]

I'm sorry. Don't ask questions. Roll with it, roll with it. And I'm wandering this terrain, it's barren. And there's an olive tree, this old ass olive tree. And I'm like, I'm going to talk to that tree because that tree has wisdom. And I sit down underneath the tree and I sit here. I'm like, thank you for your wisdom and your age. I have a question to ask. And I'm just like imagining the tree speaking to me. And I'm hearing a voice right in my head, my eyes closed. What you want to know? I was like, okay, I want to move to America, but I'm doing so well in Holland. And I know I have to give everything up and start from zero when I move to America because no one will care about my Dutch credits in America. And they didn't.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, the tree goes. Have you considered more olives?

[Samba Schutte]

Get into the olive oil business.

[Pete Holmes]

Pimentos are a nice way to jazz me up.

[Samba Schutte]

Up.

[Pete Holmes]

Can I get some non olive advice? All right, fine, fine. Blue cheese. I said non. All right. Olive, non.

[Samba Schutte]

Not the bread, the bread.

[Pete Holmes]

Keep going.

[Samba Schutte]

And so I was like, okay, how do I know I'm going to be okay? And I was like, okay, you know how blade of grass grows underneath the earth? It starts as a seed, it starts underneath the earth. And it's trying to get to the sunlight. It's trying to get to the light. Light. But a blade of grass encounters all these obstacles, whether it's an earthworm or a rock or whatever. And it doesn't give up. It knows what it's destined to do. And it finds a way to grow around the rock. It finds a way to grow around the obstacles. And finally it shoots out of the earth and it's there in the sunlight as a blade of grass. It always knows what it's going to do. It always knows what it's going to become. And that's the same of you. Like, nothing as an obstacle will stop you from becoming what you're destined to become already. So just trust best life that you will be caught by the universe when you Take a leap of faith. You will not be dropped if you follow what feels right for you. What feels destined for you. And I was like, thank you, Austria.

[Pete Holmes]

That is incredible.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. And I walked away and someone was watching me talking to the tree and just like.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

And just like. Are you okay? I know he's there, that kid.

[Pete Holmes]

What did he say?

[Samba Schutte]

He's like. Like, finally, finally we meet.

[Pete Holmes]

No.

[Samba Schutte]

Imagination, nothing. He's just staring at me like I was a weirdo.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

Talking to an old tree.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I'd rather be a tree talker.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Than a people gawker.

[Samba Schutte]

Was the wisdom that got me out here. Yeah. And that was a good rhyme. Good job.

[Pete Holmes]

That's funny. So again, Rupert Spiro, who is such an incredible non. Dual teacher, when you ask him, what. What should we do? He says, do what you love.

[Samba Schutte]

Love.

[Pete Holmes]

Which I think is so interesting.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because you're part of this.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So like, do what you love just sounds like something. You'd see it like a world market on a mark.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

On a magnet.

[Samba Schutte]

No, but.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's like something's written on you. Like that blade of grass has something written on it.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Your son has the God wi fi.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Your dreams, your ambition, your contribution, all that stuff is written. Follow. That would all do so well if.

[Samba Schutte]

We would follow Joseph Campbell. Follow your bliss. And the universe will open doors where there are only one walls.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

And that's true. And that's that.

[Pete Holmes]

Joseph, who is that?

[Samba Schutte]

Who? Joseph. Joseph. Joseph Campbell soup.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. I love that. I love that so much. Well, this was great. Let's get the out of here. I'm just kidding.

[Samba Schutte]

Do you.

[Pete Holmes]

Can you tell me the time in your life you laughed harder than you've ever laughed? Can you think of a time where you laughed till you cried?

[Samba Schutte]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

I'll give you some prompts because it doesn't have to be good story.

[Samba Schutte]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Someone fell, Someone farted. It was in church, it was in a library. You were a child. It was a movie. You got hurt.

[Samba Schutte]

Right, right, right.

[Pete Holmes]

But somewhere you were there. And you don't have to make us laugh, but if you're. If you had tears streaming down your face.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Where were you? Who was making you laugh? What happened is a bonus.

[Samba Schutte]

There are so many moments where. And the first one that comes to mind is I was on a plane, sitting, watching a movie with headphones. And it was a long plane ride. And the movie was Waterboy by Adam Sandler. And I was a young little kid watching it. And I remember laughing and cackling so hard and crying that people would shake me to be like, shh, you're disturbing the other passengers.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Samba Schutte]

That's the first memory that comes to mind.

[Pete Holmes]

Waking up a plane nap funny.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow. That's fantastic.

[Samba Schutte]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

What a gift, water boy, because that was fast. 2 bonus. You seem like a guy who hasn't seen a ghost. You ever see a ghost?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. Why do I seem like the kind of guy who hasn't seen it?

[Pete Holmes]

I always like to guess.

[Samba Schutte]

All right.

[Pete Holmes]

Some people really feel like they've seen a ghost.

[Samba Schutte]

Pete. The first side job I found when I found out I couldn't be an actor here in Hollywood because of this O1 visa was down the street here on Hillhurst Avenue. There's a psychic shop called Liberate Emporium. I worked there as a palm reader because I read palms. And I'd make 50 bucks for 15 minutes of reading someone's palm because I've, Thank God, I don't know, developed some kind of intuitive ability. So, yes, I have seen a ghost once in a while. While. But not like while you were reading palms. No, but, you know, and you're in that groove, you see like a shadow or you see something while you're connecting. It's terrible. I don't. Didn't. Like. I didn't like reading palms. I didn't like it because it didn't feel right giving people advice, you know, paying, like, them paying you to give them life advice. But that was my first side job there. And, yes, I don't do it anymore. I literally just worked for three months. And so, no, no, I don't read palms anymore. Ah. Your grandma says she's been in the corner this whole time. She was watching you. She's smelling you. Did you wear the same T shirt? What is going on, people?

[Pete Holmes]

You don't even like high fives?

[Samba Schutte]

I can't even look at it. No, no, no. We shake hands like this.

[Pete Holmes]

So you read palms.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, I know. And. But you.

[Pete Holmes]

You felt. Well, you tell me, did you feel like you were like, I'm doing something real, or was it a little show busy?

[Samba Schutte]

To the people, it was real.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Samba Schutte]

And apparently the things I was saying made sense to them. Them.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, wow.

[Samba Schutte]

So that made me believe that I knew what I was doing.

[Pete Holmes]

So no strikeouts?

[Samba Schutte]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Samba Schutte]

Every time satisfied customer. So, yes, read your palm. I know.

[Pete Holmes]

Garland comes in. Read your palm. Where do you want to read my palm for?

[Samba Schutte]

That was my bad Larry David. That was a bad Larry.

[Pete Holmes]

I have this thing called dupatin contraction on my Right hand.

[Samba Schutte]

What's that?

[Pete Holmes]

It's just like this tendon got swole.

[Samba Schutte]

Oh.

[Pete Holmes]

And then they have to. It's gross, but they, like, break it. If you saw someone with like a. Like, I guess you'd call that a deformity. Would you be like, I can't see your lines?

[Samba Schutte]

I mean, like, oh, and my favorite thing to do is scare people when they go, can you. And I look at it, go, like, do you like bananas? I would stay away from bananas. And then just leave them. Just walk away. Just like, they never mess with a banana in their life.

[Pete Holmes]

But if they had a cut or something on their hand, did that get into their reading?

[Samba Schutte]

No, because. Okay, how it works is you have two palms, right? Most people. And one is your blueprint of life, and one is what's going on right now in your life.

[Pete Holmes]

Which one's the going on?

[Samba Schutte]

Left is blueprint that you're born with, and right is what's going on right now. And this changes. This changes. The lines on this hand change. It's. It's weird, but they change based on your decisions in life. So if you have a scar on that hand and I'm not able to read it, I will look at your other hand and be like, the blueprint was this. But what's going on might be different because I don't know what's going on exactly here, but then Canada. But that line is where your marriage line is.

[Pete Holmes]

This one?

[Samba Schutte]

Yes. And that's the relationship line.

[Pete Holmes]

I was divorced. This is how people.

[Samba Schutte]

Divorced. And you go, I was like, is there a W in your life? A W? I'm like, one of those cheap mediums. A W. I feel a W coming.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, people be teasing Jonathan Edwards. You ever watch him?

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, dude, I don't know. I'm watching.

[Samba Schutte]

Is it an artist? Is it someone who's talented?

[Pete Holmes]

It's like, I don't know, whatever it is, that dude gets a visa.

[Samba Schutte]

That's an extraordinary, extraordinary ability. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because I'm like, yeah, I've watched enough of those videos where it seems like he's just going like something with a blue. Blue. He's not. He's going like, who here has a guy with one arm from Wyoming? And someone's like, it's crazy, right?

[Samba Schutte]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

And I can feel the skeptics being like, they're spying on them. I don't know.

[Samba Schutte]

I don't know. But I believe that we all have the gift.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, you know, a non dual understanding says there's. There's only one of us and minds are just the activity of awareness. So there's no reason why awareness couldn't.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Look into another awareness if it knew how.

[Samba Schutte]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

Because there is no separation.

[Samba Schutte]

There's no separation. The records are out there if you need to access them.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like those dudes that. Bob Lazar, is it?

[Samba Schutte]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

I don't think it's Bob Lazar actually, but that they call UFOs.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

With non dual understanding, they're just like. Well, if my consciousness is the same as an aliens business, I can think my coordinates and it'll come to me.

[Samba Schutte]

Steven Greer.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that who it is?

[Samba Schutte]

I think it is. He attracts them to.

[Pete Holmes]

And it works.

[Samba Schutte]

And it works. And suddenly they see a ufo, which I've seen two in my life as well. So I'm just. I'm just.

[Pete Holmes]

Tell me what the better one.

[Samba Schutte]

The better one was. I was in college and I was on the balcony. It was a lonely night, you know? I don't know. Just by myself. Midnight. I'm staring at the sky. Okay, I was not drunk. I was not high. Let me start the story this way.

[Pete Holmes]

Hey, baby.

[Samba Schutte]

No, I was not.

[Pete Holmes]

I was so brass.

[Samba Schutte]

I want to believe I'm watching the stars. I see this formation of seven stars in a triangle. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3, 4. Right. Ting, ting triangle. I'm like, oh, that's a fascinating constellation. That's beautiful. So I'm looking at it. I'm like, that's a. It makes a perfect triangle. What's going on here? Suddenly the triangle starts to move. And I'm like, am I dizzy? Am I actually seeing this? The triangle is moving. The triangle's moving and triangle moving. I'm like, that thing is moving. Those stars are moving in units. Those stars are moving in unison. And suddenly it goes and disappears.

[Pete Holmes]

They're always leaving.

[Samba Schutte]

They don't want to be watched. They don't want to be watched. They're like this voyeur society. I hate humans. Why? Why can't I just be? Why do you always have to look at me?

[Pete Holmes]

Can't I just hover?

[Samba Schutte]

Can't I just be? Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Who has the technology to be a slice of pizza that can fly impossibly but doesn't have cloaking ability? Or. Or, you know, there's just an alien that just leaned on the button. God damn it. Now we gotta find a new place to sleep. It's like a Winnebago looking for a koa.

[Samba Schutte]

It is just.

[Pete Holmes]

And they're like, we found a nice little space.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, we're gonna look like stars. No one's gonna assume anything.

[Pete Holmes]

That guy on the balcony see us. College.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah. So that was like, my weird one.

[Pete Holmes]

Did you freak out?

[Samba Schutte]

Yes. I was like. And I had to check that I was not dreaming. I was not asleep. I was like. I actually saw this thing. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Samba Schutte]

So, yeah, I believe we're not alone, Pete. We're not alone. We're not alone. There's so many dimensions out there. One cd, one cd.

[Pete Holmes]

A lot of tracks.

[Samba Schutte]

We Are the World.

[Pete Holmes]

Ethiopia callback. Very good.

[Samba Schutte]

Thank you, sir.

[Pete Holmes]

Your true talent.

[Samba Schutte]

Thank you, brother.

[Pete Holmes]

All of us have. Some of you, but your talent.

[Samba Schutte]

Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna.

[Pete Holmes]

A little bit.

[Samba Schutte]

You gotta be doing my jokes on the next show.

[Pete Holmes]

We see you performing when you're half black as Trump. Thank you so much. Thanks for having to plug.

[Samba Schutte]

I'm glad this made it. Nothing to plug. Just a few cartoons I'm a part of that are coming out that I can't talk about. Which is the worst feeling.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, just let me know if. If it becomes announceable soon.

[Samba Schutte]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And then if it's. Whatever. Well, thanks so much, man. Would you say Keep it. Oh, you get Modern Mammals.

[Samba Schutte]

What's that?

[Pete Holmes]

You got great hair.

[Samba Schutte]

Thank you. What's Is.

[Pete Holmes]

It's legit. They're sponsored, but they're. I don't know if they're sponsoring this episode, but everybody gets some. Modern Mammals is my favorite shampoo. I used it last night.

[Samba Schutte]

Your hair looks amazing.

[Pete Holmes]

And it doesn't look like I washed it, right? No, this is real. No, it's real.

[Samba Schutte]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

I became a fan first, then they sponsored the show, but you guys.

[Samba Schutte]

Amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And what do you say? Keep it crispy. It's. Oh, oh, wait, Katie, I remembered. We want more people to rank the show. Go on iTunes.com and leave a review. Here, you can read it. Do you want to read it?

[Samba Schutte]

Which part?

[Pete Holmes]

Any one of these four.

[Samba Schutte]

A review.

[Pete Holmes]

You have to read their name.

[Samba Schutte]

Incredible content. I'll do. Every time I listen to this podcast, I find myself being inspired, laughing, or reflecting on my own life. I so appreciate this content and look forward to new episodes. Thanks, Pete.

[Pete Holmes]

Five stars. What was their name?

[Samba Schutte]

Incredible Content.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, they didn't leave a name?

[Samba Schutte]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

What the f. No, there it is. Jasmine. Oh, no. Jammin. 416.

[Samba Schutte]

Oh, that's.

[Pete Holmes]

See, I want to incentivize them to. No, it's fine.

[Samba Schutte]

All right.

[Pete Holmes]

You can't apologize for reading. Thank you for reading that.

[Samba Schutte]

I'm. I tried.

[Pete Holmes]

And thank you, jamming416 please leave us a review. The show's been out for 11 years or something.

[Samba Schutte]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

And we're just trying to grow. We haven't. We haven't ever made an effort to grow, but this is one of my favorite things that I do with my life.

[Samba Schutte]

It's lovely.

[Pete Holmes]

I love these conversations.

[Samba Schutte]

It's. It's beautiful.

[Pete Holmes]

So share it. Maybe don't leave if you don't want to rate or leave a nice review. Maybe just text it to a friend, Share it to somebody. Say, hey, you're half.

[Samba Schutte]

Half more than Ethiopian. Dune2Future Past.

[Pete Holmes]

Dude, just text it to someone and write Dune future and nothing else. Would you say, keep it crispy, Saba? It's how we end keep it crispy.

[Samba Schutte]

Or should I say it to the camera?

[Pete Holmes]

No, you did it perfectly, but okay. Do you want to say it as your character on our flag?

[Samba Schutte]

Keep it crispy. So glad I asked.

[Pete Holmes]

Thanks, man.

[Samba Schutte]

Thanks, brother.