Sarah Chalke

Summary

Podcast Summary: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes — Sarah Chalke
Release Date: May 13, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this vibrant and candid episode, Pete Holmes sits down with actor Sarah Chalke (Scrubs, Roseanne) to talk about the return of Scrubs, her uniquely Canadian quirks, vulnerability in acting, parenting, self-acceptance, and the weird mishaps that have dotted her personal and professional journey. Bursting with warmth and signature Holmes-style tangents, the conversation spirals from industry insight to family humor, with plenty of real talk on people-pleasing, manifesting, and living authentically. Longtime fans and new listeners alike get a behind-the-scenes glimpse into Chalke's comedic process, her approach to acting, and the oddball joys and struggles of life on and off set.

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Main Themes & Discussion Points

The Return of Scrubs and Behind-the-Scenes Dynamics

• Scrubs Reboot: Sarah is back for the newly renewed and rebooted Scrubs. The sets were recreated down to the last detail, making the experience "surreal" and nostalgic. (60:09)
• Pace and Comedy: Both Holmes and Chalke stress how rapid pace, comedic risk-taking, and an open, collaborative environment are central to Scrubs. Bill Lawrence, the showrunner, was on set every day giving notes and encouraging improvisation.
  • Chalke: "There's so much room [for failure]. I wish that everybody that comes on gets a real sense of that." (41:40)
  • Holmes: "Actors are so controlled. It's funny that they're like... 'Don't give me a line read.'" (44:01)

Vulnerability, People-Pleasing, and Canadian Identity

• The "Canadian Sorry": They riff on how Canadian culture breeds over-apologizing, leading to a discussion about recovering from extreme people-pleasing. (05:04)
  • Chalke: "As a recovering apologizer...I’m doing better, but it was a thing."
• Acting as Compartmentalization: They bond over how the need to put on a happy/composed face, as a performer or just as a person, can be traced back to both cultural norms and childhood experiences. (23:43)

Parenting, Modeling Behavior, and Finding Authenticity

• Parenting as a Growth Catalyst: Sarah credits motherhood with helping her learn to take up space and let go of compulsive people-pleasing, knowing that her children will model what she does more than what she says. (26:05)
  • Chalke: "You realize they're not gonna just do what I say. They're gonna model it."
• Learning to "Sit Down": Both Pete and Sarah reflect on the value—especially for "helpers" like mothers—of learning to rest, demonstrating self-care, and letting go of old patterns.
  • Chalke: "Mine right now is learning to sit down. Sit down. Just slow down... I have that hummingbird energy of, like, I never stopped." (27:42)

The Comedy of Embarrassment & Mishap

• Audition Horror Stories: Sarah shares her disastrous full-face-makeup audition for Knocked Up, wishing she'd just admitted to the casting room what happened. (06:51)
  • "I wish I'd gone and just said, 'Hey guys, this is super weird. Left my makeup at Scrubs. Someone else did it. I look like a crazy person...'"
• Physical Comedy & Accident-Prone Living: Sarah is open about her constant minor injuries, writing them into her characters, and her dubious gift for limbo competitions that always leave her with a new ailment. (54:22)
  • Holmes: "You're like a mosquito zapper, but for disasters."

Acting, Growth, and the Power of Observation

• Letting Go of Self-Consciousness: Sarah says her biggest acting lesson was letting go of how she looks or what others think: "Just having a complete, like, blank slate, kind of no self-consciousness about how something might come across." (93:17)
• Life Experience as an Asset: Both agree that maturity is a crucial ingredient in acting, providing gravitas and emotional depth not available when you’re young.
  • Chalke: "There are certain things you can't actually know when you're 16..." (94:09)
• Comedy as Observation: Holmes and Chalke highlight the importance of observing real life, with Holmes recalling a mentor's note about people whispering the word 'cancer' and how such details fuel great performances and writing. (95:13)
  • Holmes: "It's not funny, but it's like a detail. It's something that's real that you see people do."

Manifesting and the Serendipity of Success

• Manifestation, Vision Boards, and Destiny: Sarah is a passionate believer in manifesting (“Vishing” as they jokingly call it), crediting exercises like The Artist's Way and vision boards for foreseeing her roles, including Scrubs. (102:00)
  • "I just want to do a comedy like Scrubs that shoots in Vancouver." (102:12)
• The Gift of Failure: Both reflect on the value of not getting what you want; it provides growth and can position you for the right opportunities ahead. (110:21)

Industry Stories & Cultural Commentary

• Roseanne Stories: Sarah reminisces about joining Roseanne as “Becky 2,” being thrown into the industry at 16, and the surreal experience of replacing an established character. (73:05)
• Tales from Set: Real emergencies happened at the old Scrubs hospital set, which sometimes confused real people into thinking it was an actual hospital. (61:20)
• Coffee Talk: Spirited debates ensue about the actual quality of Tim Hortons versus Dunkin' Donuts, and the mythos attached to each national brand. (31:31)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment/Topic | |-------------|----------------------------------------------------| | 02:36 | Sarah and Pete jump right in, discuss made-up looks, audition disasters, and her Canadian apologizing | | 06:51 | Sarah's disastrous "Rent-a-Face" audition for Knocked Up, people-pleasing | | 14:20 | Sarah's elevator claustrophobia incident, Armchair Expert anecdote | | 16:51 | Scrubs rewatch/podcast memories, how acting triggers personal memories | | 23:43 | Childhood compartmentalization and how it benefits actors | | 26:05 | Parenthood and self-advocacy, modeling authenticity | | 41:00 | What makes Scrubs comedy work: pace, safety, failing, collaborative environment | | 54:22 | Physical comedy, limbo prowess (and injuries), and hacky sack memories | | 60:09 | Returning to the recreated Scrubs set | | 73:05 | The saga of becoming Becky on Roseanne, being an industry ingenue | | 93:17 | Sarah's lessons on acting: letting go and trusting creativity | | 102:00 | The role of manifesting and vision boards in Sarah's career | | 110:21 | Lessons from failure, serendipity of Scrubs, letting go |

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Memorable Quotes

• On being a recovering apologizer (Sarah Chalke, 05:04):
  "As a recovering apologizer... It was a thing, for real. I’m doing better."

• On people-pleasing and auditioning (Sarah Chalke, 26:05):
  "You realize they're not gonna just do what I say. They're gonna model it. They’re gonna take your cues."

• On comedic risk and safety (Sarah Chalke, 41:40):
  "Because it’s comedy... there's so much room [for failure] there. And I wish that everybody that comes on gets a real sense of that."

• On letting go of self-consciousness in acting (Sarah Chalke, 93:17):
  "Just having a complete, like, blank slate, kind of no self-consciousness about how something might come across."

• On parenting and self-acceptance (Sarah Chalke, 26:28):
  "Almost like there's a stripping away. I think when you become a parent, of what is actually important."

• Manifestation works… sometimes (Sarah Chalke, 102:12):
  "I want to do a comedy like Scrubs that shoots in Vancouver... And that was two years before it happened."

• On accidental injury & limbo addiction (Sarah Chalke, 54:22):
  "If you measure... I'm five-eight and my wingspan is six feet. And you're supposed to be the same. Like, if you measure."

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Notable Moments & Running Gags

• Pete and Sarah riff extensively on Canadian "sorry," Tim Hortons, and their shared love for (but critique of) national coffee chains.
• Stories of constant minor accidents, both on- and off-set, are hilarious and humanizing, reinforcing the episode’s theme of embracing imperfection.
• The duo’s playful jokes about "chilling," manifesting, and unique “wingspans” add signature Holmes-style absurdity.
• Sarah’s daughter’s candid set notes (“Too much face, Mom!”) and adventures in Video Village are comedic gold. (35:05)
• The "manhole" metaphor for embarrassing moments you want to escape, and how “limbo” remains an underappreciated skill. (66:57)
• Philosophical tangents on the shortness of life, career failures, and kissing your dad mix the silly with the sincere. (97:28)

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Final Takeaway and Tone

The episode is a high-spirited, freewheeling dive into the realities of acting, parenting, and personal growth—with a strong dose of laughter and humility. Holmes and Chalke are candid about insecurity, the messy road to self-acceptance, and the power of fun, risk, and openness—both in comedy and in life. Their playful teasing, deep industry stories, and shared wisdom make this a delightfully weird and affirming listen for fans and newcomers alike.

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Keep it crispy!

Transcript

[Sarah Chalk]

Lemonade.

[Pete Holmes]

You made it weird with Pete Holmes. What's happening weirdos?

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

This is Sarah Chalk who is on the newly renewed.

[Pete Holmes]

Newly renewed, newly rebooted and also newly renewed, meaning they got a season two

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

of Scrubs which you can watch on Hulu and Disney. Scrubs, which we all loved, is back

[Pete Holmes]

and we're loving it again.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

And I'm so glad I got to meet Sarah. She is a delight. I actually this is fun. I texted old Zach Braff and I was like, give me some inside stuff to ask Sarah and it totally worked out. Thank you Zach. So I had better stuff to ask her and to talk about and she is just so fun and I'm so

[Pete Holmes]

glad you guys are here.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Definitely check out Scrubs on Hulu or Disney plus. And a couple things for me to plug.

[Pete Holmes]

Up top. What do I got? What do I got? Go to PeteHomes.com for all my tour dates. You know we got LA. What am I doing? I'm just looking at my website. We're going to la.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

We're going to Aspen, Denver, Durham, Charleston, Sacramento.

[Pete Holmes]

Portland, Maine.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Pete Holmes]

This is when I find out my tour dates.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

I'm going to Portland, Maine.

[Pete Holmes]

When did that happen? I'm excited from that area. Vancouver, San luis Obispo, Madison, Wisconsin. Seattle, Portland, San Diego.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Go to PeteHomes.com for all of those. And this is my kids book, Spells to Cast on youn Parents. I've been talking a lot about this but it's available for pre order.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm really, really proud of it.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

My daughter, who's a tough, tough crowd, she loves it.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a book where kids cast spells on you. They're grown up and make you do all sorts of silly stuff. So. So it's very, very fun and funny and kind of sleeper teaches them some positive stuff and how to read. Okay, that's it.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Hope you enjoy.

[Pete Holmes]

Sarah Chalk.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Thank you for being here.

[Pete Holmes]

Get into it. Amazon Health AI presents Painful thoughts.

[Sarah Chalk]

Why did I search the Internet for answers to my cold sore problem? Now I'm stuck down a rabbit hole filled with images of alarmingly graphic sores in various stages of ooze. I can clear my search history, but I can never unsee that.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't go down the rabbit hole. Amazon Health AI gets you the right care fast. Healthcare just got less painful. Can we just start?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, let's start.

[Pete Holmes]

There's no. There's no like.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. There's no begin. There's no introduction.

[Pete Holmes]

No introduction. So you're saying you feel too made Up. Oh, well, I think you look just right.

[Sarah Chalk]

Well, you look just right. But what is just.

[Pete Holmes]

But now I feel like I'm taking ownership of your looks. I'm like, you look. This is how you should look because you're telling me you feel like you need to acknowledge that you're made up.

[Sarah Chalk]

Well, I just need to acknowledge. So, you know, I'm going straight to a scrub things after. After this, so I have my hair and makeup done. So I'm just acknowledging it because I've had the experience before where I did not. And it was very.

[Pete Holmes]

And that was comfortable. You. Are you sure?

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, I'm sure.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm sure it would be uncomfortable that you were, if I may use the parlance of the 70s.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

All dolled up.

[Sarah Chalk]

Okay, well, I. It was an audition.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Sarah Chalk]

And it was Sunday morning at 9am so first of all, like, I'd never done a Sunday morning at 9am audition.

[Pete Holmes]

That. That sounds like a callback.

[Sarah Chalk]

It was not a callback. It was one of those things where you get an audition on, like, Friday night, and it's usually, I guess, where they're like, up against the wall and they need to. To cast it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

And so for some reason, my makeup was at Scrubs. I don't know why. So I had no makeup at home, and I got the audition. I was like, oh, I'll just. I'll call one of those places that you can just go get your makeup done, and I'll just do that on the way. It's a thing. A beauty part I had never

[Pete Holmes]

did.

[Sarah Chalk]

I go to a beauty parlor without.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like Rent the Runway, but for makeup for your face. Yeah, Rent your face.

[Sarah Chalk]

So I called face rents, and I rented someone else.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes, Face. I rented. I went to rent Face.

[Sarah Chalk]

I went to rent Face, but I rented someone else's face, not mine. Like, it was one of those times where, like, I was learning my lines. I was nervous. I was looking down at my sides. Someone else was doing my makeup, and I looked up at the end, and I had on, like, a face. Like a full.

[Pete Holmes]

Like a pinch, like a rouge. Like. Like a.

[Sarah Chalk]

Like lashes and a pinched. And so much. And I was different.

[Pete Holmes]

An outline to the lips, probably.

[Sarah Chalk]

I don't remember that, but y. For the. For the sake of this story, they were lying far larger than my own lip. Like a serious lip. A serious lash.

[Pete Holmes]

Triple the lips. I want a Twizzler lip. It's called. Remember the Twizzler guy? Let's get the Twizzler guy. On this lady's face.

[Sarah Chalk]

I had the Twizzler guy.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that's happy.

[Sarah Chalk]

And then I was about. I was pretty orange. I looked like I had a Canadian. I am.

[Pete Holmes]

Get the fuck out of here.

[Sarah Chalk]

I'm sorry. First of all, I'm.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, wow. I love that. There's only one way to apologize and it doubles your Canadianness. I'll take in a boot. But then we're suri.

[Sarah Chalk]

But then we're suzuri. Are we so suri aboot what I just said. Oh, my God. And I'm so suri. And I'm sitting in your hoose and how do I.

[Pete Holmes]

Isn't it perfect? Sorry to interrupt your great. I love this story. Story, story, story, story, story. That the most Canadian word. Sorry is the funniest and most Canadian word. Suri.

[Sarah Chalk]

So perfect, isn't it?

[Pete Holmes]

How do you find your nation's passivity?

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, okay. I sort of feel like I. I mean, as a recovering apologizer. Yeah, I mean, I do.

[Pete Holmes]

Do you. Are you a pleaser?

[Sarah Chalk]

Well, I. I'm trying. It's. I'm working on it. I'm not an. I'm doing better.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Sarah Chalk]

I'm doing better.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Sarah Chalk]

But it was a thing for real?

[Pete Holmes]

Really? Tell me.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, just like. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

[Pete Holmes]

Take up space.

[Sarah Chalk]

I'm so sorry that I went to rent my face this morning. I'm so sorry that I'm here, that I'm here, that I.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, I made. I made a mistake. We're gonna put a pin in people pleasing. Finish your face story.

[Sarah Chalk]

So the face story. I'm sorry. Er, is that I was also probably, you know, like when you go to a fake spray tan, I. I look like I had one of those that went awry. I was definitely eight shades of orange.

[Pete Holmes]

And the prequel to 50 Shades of Gray. She's a virgin.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

There's less.

[Sarah Chalk]

Less nudity.

[Pete Holmes]

Way fewer nudity.

[Sarah Chalk]

Way, way fewer nudity. It was way fewer nudity. More jokes, and way too much face.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a lot funnier. And there's more face than 50 shades of gray.

[Sarah Chalk]

There's way more face.

[Pete Holmes]

So much face.

[Sarah Chalk]

There's way more face and less parts.

[Pete Holmes]

A lot of face. Eight shades of tuna. And you went to this audition?

[Sarah Chalk]

I did. And I wish to this day that I'd walked in and said it was for Knocked up.

[Pete Holmes]

No.

[Sarah Chalk]

And it was.

[Pete Holmes]

Judd was there.

[Sarah Chalk]

Judd was there. I was reading with. I was reading with Seth. We were reading it together. But all I could think about was the fact That I went to Rent a Face. And so I, I, I wish I'd gone and just said, hey, guys, this is super weird. Left and makeup at Scrubs. Someone else did it. I look like a crazy person, and can we just move on? And instead of doing that, I just feel like I had 10 people looking at me so confused on a Sunday morning. Like, what is actually happening right now?

[Pete Holmes]

And I was this for the Catherine.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, it was, it was. And it was probably like, I mean, I don't know, like, I have, there's certain auditions. I don't know if you have certain auditions that just kind of haunt you to this day. Like, where you, like, you can just, you can pull up the feeling in your body.

[Pete Holmes]

Everyone.

[Sarah Chalk]

I mean, auditioning is such a vulnerable.

[Pete Holmes]

Is there anything worse?

[Sarah Chalk]

There isn't. It's the most vulnerable.

[Pete Holmes]

If you want to like actors, fancy can be well paid, can be celebrated. It is pretty well counterbalanced with a lot of humiliation and shame and second guessing. And it never stops. I auditioned for that show. Taran Killam got it, which I'm so pleased when someone great gets.

[Sarah Chalk]

I love Taran.

[Pete Holmes]

He's amazing.

[Sarah Chalk]

He's so nice, too.

[Pete Holmes]

So he got the part and he's perfect for it. But it's that cheerleader show.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, stumble, stumble. Yes, Yes. I haven't seen, I want to see it. I haven't seen it.

[Pete Holmes]

I went into that audition, it was also on like a Sunday, and they couldn't have been nicer. And then I started doing it, the monologue, I guess. And I was like, what the am I doing?

[Sarah Chalk]

Like mid, Mid monologue. You're already.

[Pete Holmes]

The tape starting coming out, and I'm going to. This isn't right. This isn't correct at all. And you know when, like, it's like in a symphony. It's like when you start the song, everybody together, and it's like. And we begin the scene and now we're in, and it feels natural. This was like. And. And then I started, like, I started on the wrong beat and you can't get.

[Sarah Chalk]

You can't make.

[Pete Holmes]

You can't get back.

[Sarah Chalk]

You can't get back.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I'm talking about?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, 100%.

[Pete Holmes]

Especially in an ensemble like Cat, Like Scrubs. It's like there's a music to it. And you just came in and you're like, oh, my wife's a cheerleader. And like. And everyone who was just buttering my bread so hard and talking about how much they love Batman or whatever it was now I'm just, like, shitting in their stupid. I have to. Out of. Out of shame, I have to put down their office. Their stupid office.

[Sarah Chalk]

Well, it's also, like, because they were buttering your bread, that actually makes it harder because then the expect. You feel like, oh, now there's an expectation that I have to live up to. And then once you started on the wrong beat, then you're in your head about being on the wrong beat. There's a very challenging pathway back.

[Pete Holmes]

We talked too long, too. We talked for, like, 20 minutes, and then we did the scene.

[Sarah Chalk]

That's way harder.

[Pete Holmes]

It sucks, right? And now you're like. It would be like if we were all just hanging out. And I was like, okay, do that monologue. Like, what? Let's just.

[Sarah Chalk]

Didn't we just get. Talk about breakfast?

[Pete Holmes]

I don't wanna know. And now I'm gonna. They're filming it. You can hear the camera. You can swear you can. The focusing.

[Sarah Chalk]

How many. How quiet was it in the room?

[Pete Holmes]

It was like five. It was like a good five. And it was on a weekend. I felt like. And it was like, oh, I guess it never goes away. You had done scrubs at that point. You had scrubbed it up.

[Sarah Chalk]

I was. My makeup was at the. My scrubs dressing room. I was scrubbing it up.

[Pete Holmes]

You were scrubbing it up?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, and the auditions.

[Pete Holmes]

But not knocking it up.

[Sarah Chalk]

But I was not. I was scrubbing it up. I was never gonna knock it up. And I knew it. I knew it the second we were in it. I was offbeat.

[Pete Holmes]

I started off beat, and you're with Seth, but he's over there.

[Sarah Chalk]

He's so funny. He's right beside me.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. Cause when I auditioned for Trainwreck, Amy Schumer was over there. So similar sitch, Judd. Similar sitch. And I asked, can she come and sit next to me? And I thought that was a good move. But then I wasn't good. I was like, I want you next to me while. And then John Cena got that. I was like, why am I even here? You're a Hannah. You're a Han. You could have done it. You know what I mean? I couldn't have done what Cena did. Different guy, different.

[Sarah Chalk]

Wait. Well, that is. The other piece of auditioning I feel like is. You know, you always hear like, oh, it's just not meant to be yours. Don't, like, leave the room and leave it behind. Cause, like, it was out of your hands. And you kind of think like, that's bullshit. But it. I feel like it is also a little bit true. Like when I did Scrubs, Donald and I auditioned in the same round and they didn't cast a jd. So I ended up going back a month later and reading with four JDs. And Zach was like, so wait, Zach wasn't the JD?

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know why I thought. Isn't it crazy to think he. He auditioned for that?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, he. He auditioned, but he, he was always braf to me.

[Pete Holmes]

He was forever Brad. He was forever braf, but he was just some guy. Bring in Zach.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And he went in nervous.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, he was, but he was like, he was a hundred percent the part. Like, and it was so interesting. I hadn't had that experience as an actor before, being on the other side of it and like seeing like that's actually true. Like someone comes in and it's just theirs. Like it was shoulders.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

The right choice.

[Pete Holmes]

Who else was there? Maguire? Toby.

[Sarah Chalk]

Toby was not there.

[Pete Holmes]

Dicabria. Who was in a bra level. Oh, Dax.

[Sarah Chalk]

No, no. But, but can you imagine? No. Dax, Dax.

[Pete Holmes]

Todd Berry. You don't know who that is? Google it.

[Sarah Chalk]

Ethan Embry.

[Pete Holmes]

Ethan Embry was there. Is that somebody I know? Who's Ethan Embryo?

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Do we know?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yes, yes, yes, you would.

[Pete Holmes]

What's he from? Is it American Gods? Because I didn't see it.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's not American Gods. It's not Canadian Gods. Okay, but in terms of Dax, I, you know, Zach and Dax obviously, like get mistaken for each other all of the time. And recently we had, before we did the reboot, we had a Scrubs reunion in Austin for the festival there, and I was meeting Zach and Donald for dinner and I, I was in the elevator and it got stuck. And I learned in that moment that I have claustrophobia.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait, were you alone or you were with them?

[Sarah Chalk]

No, they're down. They're outside already saying, chalky, where are you? And I'm like, I'm in an elevator. I don't imagine I will do well in this situation. Get me out of here. And so I head service. I'm starting like ringing the bell. I'm ringing the buzzer.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's a good situation when you're pushing a button that says fire on it.

[Sarah Chalk]

And this is like an old timey hotel. It was like a big elevator that you then take to the little one that goes down three floors. I'm on the little guy and it goes chukunk and it just like gets stuck.

[Pete Holmes]

It's very coffin. Like it's a suspended coffin.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's just. That's how it felt in a coffin

[Pete Holmes]

that's in the Matrix. Like it's wearing a wire. Like you're in a Carry On Moss elevator. Oh, my God. You love Carrie Anne. I can see it in your face. People love Carrie Ann.

[Sarah Chalk]

People love Carrie.

[Pete Holmes]

I love Carrie Ann.

[Sarah Chalk]

I love Carrie Ann.

[Pete Holmes]

What else is she in, though? The Matrix and then what else?

[Sarah Chalk]

The Matrix.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. That's all you really need.

[Sarah Chalk]

That's all you need.

[Pete Holmes]

Carrie Annel Carrie Ann career.

[Sarah Chalk]

That'll carry Anne you right through.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm over here. Like, she's just in the Matrix.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You can cool it.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

All four of them.

[Sarah Chalk]

That. All of them. That's all you need.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

We don't want to acknowledge the fourth,

[Pete Holmes]

but we had to.

[Sarah Chalk]

We did.

[Pete Holmes]

For legal reasons.

[Sarah Chalk]

Okay. Appreciate it. I'm in the elevator. I. I. Carry on, carry on, carry on, carry on.

[Pete Holmes]

I just say Trinity when I want you to carry on. Okay, Trinity.

[Sarah Chalk]

So I'm in the elevator, and I'm pushing the fire old timey button that's like. And this woman comes on. She says, we're on our way to get you, ma'. Am. And I'm like, okay. I guess I sound like a ma'. Am. I'm terrified. And then I'm like, great. And she.

[Pete Holmes]

Women in fear sound like mams.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They might sound like this when they're calm.

[Sarah Chalk]

Totally. But the second you're stuck in the other.

[Pete Holmes]

You're a man. You're a man.

[Sarah Chalk]

You're a man.

[Pete Holmes]

You are a man. You've got ma' am boys on, and

[Sarah Chalk]

you don't even care. You're like, ma' am me. Do whatever.

[Pete Holmes]

Just get me the.

[Sarah Chalk]

Out of this elevator.

[Pete Holmes]

Get an axe here.

[Sarah Chalk]

Get and axe me out of this.

[Pete Holmes]

I want somebody to rappel. Could you see the way out in the top?

[Sarah Chalk]

I was in the Matrix, coughing, hanging by the wire. I was suspended. And so she goes, where are you? We're coming. You're on floor 11. And I'm like, this elevator only goes to five. Where do you think I am? And I'm like, they have no idea what elevator shaft I'm in. So I put on the podcast that I was listening to, Getting Ready, which was Dax Shepard's Armchair expert. That's what I.

[Pete Holmes]

Hosted by Zach Brown, Also pretending to be Zack Shepard expert. Yeah. So you're listening to a podcast.

[Sarah Chalk]

I'm listening to a podcast to calm down. I was like, just put on. I'm, like, in, like, tucked into the corner. I didn't even notice. I'm like, in the bottom of the elevator stair. And then I was like, put on the podcast. You're going to be fine. And so I get out finally, and I tell Zach and Donald, and I'm like, yeah, I actually kind of had, like, a mini panic attack. I did not know it was claustrophobic. And so I put on Armchair Expert. And Zach was like, you put on my Doppelgangers podcast to calm down. You didn't listen to hours.

[Pete Holmes]

And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Theirs is called Fake Friends.

[Sarah Chalk]

Fake Doctors. Real Friends.

[Pete Holmes]

Fake Doctors. Real Friends.

[Sarah Chalk]

Fake Doctors. Too long. They don't do it anymore in this moment.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh.

[Sarah Chalk]

Because they did the whole run of the whole series rewatch, and then they spun off into other things, but then did that.

[Pete Holmes]

How many episodes of Scrubs are there?

[Sarah Chalk]

Hundreds. A thousand? Eight million?

[Pete Holmes]

Eight million is correct.

[Sarah Chalk]

Eight million. There's eight million.

[Pete Holmes]

You're here to be tested. That's too many podcast episodes. They had to do best devs. They're skipping the one where Colin Hayes sprains his ankle. That didn't make it subtle Scrubs burn, you know, so, you know, not all of them were great. Colin Hayes sprains his ankle.

[Sarah Chalk]

That's what they talked about in the. In the podcast. They actually talked about, like, oh, that one wasn't so good. That one.

[Pete Holmes]

We love jk. I was a Scrubs fan. But no, if you do that many, you're gonna have some of them.

[Sarah Chalk]

Some of them.

[Pete Holmes]

If you rewatch Scrubs, do you go, are they, like, memories? Are you like, I remember that day. I remember how I feel in this scene. Are you seeing it like, yeah, you, Sarah, and the scene. Not that you're re watching it, but,

[Sarah Chalk]

like, we've seen a couple. Like, I mean, at the time, I had seen them, but it was 25 years ago that we started. And then when we were gonna go do the rewatch, I watched the finale, and then. Otherwise, I only watched it when I went on Zach and Donald's podcast, which probably, like, four or five times, and watched it then. And it's like you're saying you're watching it on all these different levels. Like, it's triggering memories of, like, what was happening on set that day, what was happening in your life at that moment?

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Sarah Chalk]

And kind of watching it going, huh? Oh, I remember doing that scene.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, it's a. Yeah. Did you have any ones where it was like. And you can say pass, but like, oh, I just got dumped that morning, or. Or like, I just dumped somebody that morning. Or like, I just found out I didn't get knocked up. Morning or whatever it is. Like, do you remember having to turn it on? Like, you're doing Scrubs isn't. You know, it's not Big Bang Theory, but you got to be bright. You got to be tight. You got to be in a. In a rhythm. It's a comedy. It's. It's got pace. Were there days that you're like, man, I'm just not feeling that way, and I had to find it, Dig deep.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, for sure. I mean, I think that's, like, every day in this. In this industry, because time stops for no one. Like, it's not a. As. You know, like, you never.

[Pete Holmes]

Time Warner stops for no.

[Sarah Chalk]

Trinity. Trinity, yeah. Like, I remember so many times in my life where that happened, where you're like, okay, if I can buckle up. Like, it was. My very first job was the Roseanne show, and it was day one of filming. I was flying to New York because we were doing an episode there because Sarah Gilbert was going to Yale, and so they had built sets there. It was my first day on the job, and my grandmother died, and I got on the plane, and they didn't tell anyone because I didn't know anybody. And you kind of like. I feel like there's so many of those, if I think back of, like, where you're doing all of the things at the same time and kind of like on Scrubs, too. For sure. Like, I had times where, you know, I mean, it was eight years, right? So it's just life. And, like, there's gonna be a lot of on. And I mean, the good part about Scrubs was, like, you're also doing a lot of dramatic shit, so, you know, you can just, like, channel it for the crying scenes. But.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. It's kind of crazy, though, somehow, sometimes. I'm not trying to be salacious by bringing up, like, psychedelics, but sometimes I'll be on a psychedelic, and I'll be like, that's insane that the job is to pretend your grandmother didn't just die. You know what I'm saying?

[Sarah Chalk]

Right? Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I mean? Like, if you can, I'll take it out of acting. I've been on mushrooms and been like, it's crazy that we smile when we're not happy. Like, that's crazy. It's really, like, a weird thing that we've evolved to do, especially in America, to just be like, hey, hi.

[Sarah Chalk]

Hi.

[Pete Holmes]

I just got fired. You know what I mean? You go to other countries, they don't do it as much. We do it way More. And we love acting even more than most countries, it seems. So I'm feeling you, but I feel

[Sarah Chalk]

like, wouldn't it be amazing if we didn't like, I would love a world where we didn't do that. Like, I'm smiling. See when coming. But I'm genuinely happy because I'm very excited.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I'm glad you're here too.

[Sarah Chalk]

But like, I feel like, what a. More.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's do it for the next 30 seconds only. I can't do it. I'll just.

[Sarah Chalk]

I am literally the worst of this, if you ask anyone. We literally did an interview with Zach and Darling together and they said who would be the most likely of you to break and take? And they both immediately were like jockey. Like I. So if we did try. Are we trying right now? We're not laughing, we're not smiling.

[Pete Holmes]

We're not neutral faces for this next one.

[Sarah Chalk]

My daughter calls it basic face.

[Pete Holmes]

Basic face. I think she's saying something else. I think. I think she's saying something much meaner than you know. This is you finding out that your. Your daughter is ripping you.

[Sarah Chalk]

And here I'm just smiling. Oh, great.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

What she likes to do is she does basic face and I have to do this. And then she takes her hands and then she moves your face into like all these different.

[Pete Holmes]

She loves smushing another face.

[Sarah Chalk]

Smushing it. And then she will take my phone and quickly just take a picture of it. Take the pictures of the different.

[Pete Holmes]

And then this is. If I ever have problems with you, I have collateral. It's like a very low. I'm not going to make a Nexium joke. It's. That was a real thing. That was a painful thing. That was a painful thing.

[Sarah Chalk]

Only talk about that for the next.

[Pete Holmes]

Are you. Are you a nex head?

[Sarah Chalk]

Well, I'm from Vancouver.

[Pete Holmes]

Was that a Canadian? Was Ranieri Canadian?

[Sarah Chalk]

Well, the whole. It was a very large Vancouver chapter

[Julie Louis-Dreyfus]

that.

[Sarah Chalk]

Because Smallville shot in Vancouver.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh.

[Sarah Chalk]

And so Alison Mack and there was a large contingency in Vancouver that then moved to the east coast.

[Pete Holmes]

And you're from Vancouver.

[Sarah Chalk]

I'm from Vancouver, yeah. And I packed up. Me and my best friend packed up her truck and like moved to Los Angeles like right at that time. So we are sure that we would have been pulled.

[Pete Holmes]

You would have been next a meeting.

[Sarah Chalk]

We would have been next.

[Pete Holmes]

You got next Nexted. You got Nexium.

[Sarah Chalk]

We would have been exempt.

[Pete Holmes]

It is funny. See, I almost made an exiom joke. Then I stopped myself. Cuz remember, collateral was A big thing in that culture.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, they always wanted text or a photo or. And they were just like, is it weird how, like, sinister and. But also how, like, easy it is to hack somebody? How to like, break somebody. It's like, I just need something you don't want people to know. A video of you saying this or doing this. And it's like. And we know that, but just most of us just don't do that. But then there's psychopaths that are like, that's all we need to do.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. And it works.

[Pete Holmes]

And it works. Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

That was.

[Pete Holmes]

We're so tender. We're so vulnerable.

[Sarah Chalk]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

And I feel like we want to believe so badly.

[Sarah Chalk]

We do. And human beings do. But I feel like, specifically actors.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

Very vulnerable.

[Pete Holmes]

But that's another brilliant. Brilliant meaning darkly, like evilly brilliant to go like. Well, who needs affirmation and who want, like. We all want, like. I guess it's called the halo effect. We want the leader. Like, there's something in us that wants someone to tell us that it's okay. But especially people that have, like, weird lives.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like acting where you're just like, where your whole job is built around like auditioning and saying, was this right?

[Pete Holmes]

Right. And that goes back to you. And I'm not making light of it. You're. But your grandmother dies, then you're doing Roseanne. And there's something kind of familiar. Kids that grew up, and I'm not trying to make this all serious because we're having a nice, fun, silly time, but kids who grew up, like, kind of putting their own feelings to one side make good actors.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I'm saying?

[Sarah Chalk]

If you can compartmentalize and put things

[Pete Holmes]

in a box, that becomes a skill.

[Sarah Chalk]

It is a skill.

[Pete Holmes]

You go like, I'm having a big feeling. And I don't think it's. I don't think there's room for it.

[Sarah Chalk]

No time. Little time. Cuz time is money and it's $10,000aminute on set. So, yes, put that feeling in a box, but please pull it out in when we want. Hour and a half.

[Pete Holmes]

Can you cry in an hour and a half? And you're like, yeah, I can cry in an hour and a half, no problem.

[Sarah Chalk]

That's.

[Pete Holmes]

I love that you understand how crazy it is because it is kids that learn how to like, withhold and then release and withhold and release. It's. It's like a weird. I guess. I don't know, it's almost like sex work In a way it's like this thing that for some people happens when it happens we'll do it like at 11 o', clock, you know what I'm saying?

[Sarah Chalk]

Well and it is like weirdly a. I was just reading this the other day. It's like it is a coping strategy. It's a coping strategy to be able to put your thing your emotions in a box.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, of course.

[Sarah Chalk]

Like it, it's that's. It is a coping thing where you if you can kind of do that.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

So I was like well that's I guess like the positive side of it but otherwise I think like probably some not great things right about it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Well have you learned how to like we were talking about your Canadian pleasy stuff. Can you let yourself out a little bit more like you're honest your truth?

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh yes, yes, yes.

[Pete Holmes]

How did you learn to do that. Usually was it Cage?

[Sarah Chalk]

I think think to be honest I feel like it's parenthood becoming a mom. I think that there's something about, you

[Pete Holmes]

know, did you just fix your about for me? You did a very American about.

[Sarah Chalk]

Did you say about?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, you're such a pleaser and I, I made fun of it once that you were like never again.

[Sarah Chalk]

I'm like well there's something about, something about in this room I shall present as an American, a good American.

[Pete Holmes]

So I make me uncomfortable.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's weird. Yeah. I wouldn't, I wouldn't want to do that because then I'd have to apologize. I'm so sorry. Making you feel uncomfortable. When I read a script, something comes out out and then when I'm talking in my life it's out.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh really?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yes. But that was a. Oh that was kind of a mix.

[Pete Holmes]

So being a parent has helped you take up space because you're trying to model that for your child.

[Sarah Chalk]

I think you kind of realize like oh they're not gonna just do what I say, they are actually just gonna do what I do. Like they are just gonna model it, they are gonna take it from you and take your cues and I have a 16 year old son and a 10 year old almost 10 year old daughter and I think it's a combination of that and also just like probably

[Pete Holmes]

a.

[Sarah Chalk]

Almost like there's a stripping away. I think when you become a parent of what is actually important.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that's exactly right.

[Sarah Chalk]

So it's like why would I. Why are you putting on airs? Why are you, why are you please people pleasing? Why are you wasting that time and energy that you actually don't have.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

It doesn't matter.

[Pete Holmes]

Isn't it weird that, like, there's a point where helping, like, like the mom. It's often the mom who never. Or the grandma who never sits down. Like, on. On paper. It's like, well, that's really nice. They're just. But at a certain point, you're like, please sit down. Please, like, stop serving everybody else and please sit down. Because that's a powerful thing to demonstrate, too, is like, sometimes I sit down. You know what I mean?

[Sarah Chalk]

It's so interesting you say this.

[Pete Holmes]

We're actually out of time. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The rest of the episode is a rerun of Armchair Expert, but Zach is hosting and no one noticed. No one noticed. They were like, yeah, Some liked it more. Some liked it less, though. Sorry, Zach, but you're welcome to act more. Yeah, okay, go ahead. So funny I mentioned sitting down.

[Sarah Chalk]

Well, just. That is, I feel like, you know, in life and, like, the synchronicity of life, how things start to. When you need to work on something, like, come at you from, like, all of the angles.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

Well, mine right now is learning to sit down. Sit down. Just slow down. Yeah, Slow down in. Sit down. Because I don't. Sit down.

[Pete Holmes]

You're a helper. You're. You're a hummingbird.

[Sarah Chalk]

I'm a humm. I'm. That's actually what I've been called is a hummingbird. I have that hummingbird energy of, like, I never stopped.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

Moving. And it's sort of starting to come from all areas of my life. Of, like, slow down.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

Sit down.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, like you're saying about taking up space, there's something. Look, we talk about this all the time. Carl Jung. Everybody relax. I'm gonna quote Carl Jung if you wanna grab your chair so you don't get lifted off. But he goes. The greatest burden a parent can put on a child is the unfulfilled dream of the parent. Now, you've clearly expressed yourself and found success. And that's such a gift. But there's also, like. And sometimes mom wants to sit down or. Or enjoy myself. Right. Or have a life.

[Sarah Chalk]

Read a book or.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

With your friends. Or.

[Pete Holmes]

Look, there's always. Yes. Yeah. There's room for improvement. But this is the. The next phase. Like, how can we show our kids not just how to go after their dreams or whatever, but also, like. And sometimes I just have a lemonade.

[Sarah Chalk]

And sometimes just a lemonade.

[Pete Holmes]

It's just a lemonade.

[Sarah Chalk]

Glennon Doyle in Untamed talks about that exact Carl Jung concept.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Oh, really?

[Pete Holmes]

Like the union?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yes, the union concept of, like, there's not, like, the. A child, a daughter, a son will only allow themselves to live a life as fulfilled as their mother, themselves to live.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, wow.

[Sarah Chalk]

So, like, I feel like. Yeah, I'm. I definitely. Yeah, I want to model that for my kids.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then on the other side, it has to be pretty rocking that you're like, mom pretends for a living. They do pretty cool.

[Sarah Chalk]

There's been a journey of that. Of kind of being.

[Pete Holmes]

Do they think it's cool or not cool?

[Sarah Chalk]

Well, I think it was like, you know, my job. After they were born, it was like, during COVID they couldn't come to set. And then with Scrubs, we shoot in Vancouver.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which Zach said. I texted Zachary Pre and he said that you said that they'd love shooting there. And then it rained the entire time.

[Sarah Chalk]

Okay. Yes, True. Definitely true. To be fair.

[Pete Holmes]

I love that it was on you.

[Sarah Chalk]

It was on me.

[Pete Holmes]

It was my fault. No.

[Sarah Chalk]

I'd be driving to work in an atmospheric river, and I'd be like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, everyone. I'm so sorry, you guys. Like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. The atmospheric is my fault. It's legitimately my fault. And I will do better. I will try harder and I will do better. I will not sit down until it stops raining.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

It was October, November, December, January when we were shooting, which are the rainy months.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

But that's why it's so beautiful and so green there, because it rains, and then the rest of the year is, like, stunning.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

So I did. You know, we tried. We got. The key is getting out and up into the mountains into the snow. So we all went skiing and we did things out of the rain. But it's. It's definitely.

[Pete Holmes]

But with this, I took you off the track of what your kids think.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

With the COVID show, they couldn't come.

[Sarah Chalk]

So.

[Pete Holmes]

With the reboot.

[Sarah Chalk]

With the reboot.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Reboot.

[Sarah Chalk]

Rebound. What is. What is the non. What is the non Canadian version.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm saying it right in it. I'm just kidding.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's in it. It's boot is in it.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not my fault, but it's about boot. No, it's reboot.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's just reboot. It is the one word that actually works in both countries, I think, equally.

[Pete Holmes]

Tim Horton.

[Sarah Chalk]

Tim. Tim Hortons.

[Pete Holmes]

Tim Hortons for the Double.

[Sarah Chalk]

Double.

[Pete Holmes]

Tim Horton sucks.

[Sarah Chalk]

Excuse me.

[Pete Holmes]

Tim Hortons sucks. At least we know our Dunkin Donuts isn't great, right?

[Sarah Chalk]

Canadians talk about it. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's true. You go to here. Thank you.

[Sarah Chalk]

We all want to say. No, it's true. It's true. I had my pride going.

[Pete Holmes]

You go to. You go to Tim Hortons. It's Dunkin Donuts.

[Sarah Chalk]

It is.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's fine. But you guys are like Tim Hart.

[Sarah Chalk]

True.

[Pete Holmes]

Cool it.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's true.

[Pete Holmes]

Cool it. Thank you.

[Sarah Chalk]

Well, I mean, I. Both my kids play hockey. All my nieces play hockey. I join a mom's hockey team. It's just what you do if you live there and it's a box of Timbits after the end of every game. And it's a big deal, but it's not like.

[Pete Holmes]

I guess I was looking for, like, exceptional. It's just push button, little espresso. There you go.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, is. Is this a. What is that called? Brevia. What am I trying to say?

[Sarah Chalk]

An espresso.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Is this an espresso? This is a pod. It's pod coffee and it's fucking donuts. Get the fuck out of here. There's a line. As long as it's a cultural mythology is what they're in line for. The belief in national pride is what they're in line for.

[Sarah Chalk]

I feel like no Canadian can listen to me say this because otherwise I won't be allowed back in.

[Pete Holmes]

I know, because you have a dui. You won't be allowed back in.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's the Tim Hortons. It's what I said. It was Tim Hortons.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And that one time in Martha's Vineyard, we all.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's what Pete and I said about.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that's right.

[Sarah Chalk]

The drip.

[Pete Holmes]

You can have that. You can.

[Sarah Chalk]

Coffee. It was the Dunkin Donut.

[Pete Holmes]

It was the basic look. I'm selling. I'm from Boston. I'm selling out Dunkin Donuts. It's fine. It's fine.

[Sarah Chalk]

But let's not make it. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I do think Starbucks moved things forward. I know it's not, like, popular to say, but come on.

[Sarah Chalk]

I. All I wanted, if it hadn't worked out, acting. I was going to be a barista. I dated someone because they worked at Starbucks so I could put the apron on and make the drinks.

[Pete Holmes]

You just wanted to try it.

[Sarah Chalk]

I. I'm like a barista at heart. I always have, like, two hot beverages.

[Pete Holmes]

Going to the hummingbird job.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's the hummingbird job. That's right. That's why It's a natural fit.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, you'd be perfect.

[Sarah Chalk]

And then you're buzzing on the. The matcha and the coffee all day long, getting ripped on triple espresso.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, my God. I made the mocha wrong. I'll take it.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Whoops.

[Sarah Chalk]

No big deal.

[Pete Holmes]

Whoops.

[Sarah Chalk]

Carry on over there with what you're doing. I'll just be drinking my.

[Pete Holmes]

Guess what they're doing at Dunkin Donuts if someone. I made it one and nobody wants it. Sink.

[Sarah Chalk]

Nobody's. You're so right. That's the difference. That is the.

[Pete Holmes]

That's how you know I'm right. You know, nobody at Dunkin Donuts is like, this fucking Lada is going to waste. This culada was a waste. Sink.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

At Starbucks, they're finding someone who wants it. Someone wants it. It was $11. Someone wants it.

[Sarah Chalk]

Someone wants it. Nobody's throwing that out.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. All right. So we both sold out our national coffee brand.

[Sarah Chalk]

We did. So we bid it together. Safety numbers.

[Pete Holmes]

America runs on Duncan. How about America gets the runs from Dunkin?

[Sarah Chalk]

True.

[Pete Holmes]

Dumb. Thank you for allowing us.

[Sarah Chalk]

But it's. Well, it's kind of. It's up my alley. Little poop joke.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah. Poop. Poop stuff.

[Sarah Chalk]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

So your kids think it's cool now?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. So they came to. I think my daughter can't believe it's like a job. She walks into hair and makeup trailer. First thing that happens, her hair's braided in all the ways that she asks me to that I try, where she's like, mom, I need the crossover double Dutch, no elastic French twist over the top. And I'm like, no elastics. So she goes in there, they do that. They just got glitter all over her face. Then she comes to set, she asks props for clipboard. She sits at Video Village with the producers and the director, and she takes notes. And so the first scene, we finished filming and got, like, a page of notes for Zach and Donald and I.

[Pete Holmes]

And notes for you.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, yeah. Performance notes.

[Pete Holmes]

Like changes.

[Sarah Chalk]

Like changes. Like alts. Changes.

[Pete Holmes]

She's got nine.

[Sarah Chalk]

She's nine. And she's like, donald, I thought it was very funny how you said that, but I did not think it was kind that you told the patient that he didn't look good. And Zach was like, well, Frankie, that's a script note, so thank you. We'll run it up the chain, but we can't for today. That's too late. And then mom, she's like, mama, just too much face. And then, like, calm down. Yeah, yeah. It's a good note. Less, more mom then. Yeah, just paid a note.

[Pete Holmes]

Rein it in. And more changes. You can also. That's a tape cut. We'll cut it in. You don't have to tell us that.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, we know. We know.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So she loves child. She's ready to go in. She's flying in notes.

[Sarah Chalk]

She's flying in with a hairdo. With the do glitter clipboard.

[Pete Holmes]

Pace, please. Is your character tired?

[Sarah Chalk]

21:30. 21:30, guys. That's all we have.

[Pete Holmes]

It's 21:30. Oh, that's the length of an episode.

[Sarah Chalk]

21:30.

[Pete Holmes]

21:30.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I was gonna ask you. I keep forgetting to ask some of the actors that. Come on. I really like this. What am I Trump? I really like it. It was such a fucking. Why am I overrating this? I've been meaning to ask. This is a wonderful question. Beautiful question. It's so fucking dumb, but it just comes out. Trump talk.

[Sarah Chalk]

There's so much buildup now. If I don't. What if I don't? What if I'm people pleasing enough now to not do well at this answer?

[Pete Holmes]

You're gonna love it.

[Sarah Chalk]

This is the most important question.

[Pete Holmes]

This episode is brought to us by

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

our friends at Element. You've probably heard me talk about Element LMNT all the time because it's what I do first thing every morning. A big glass of water with Element. Because healthy hydration isn't just water. It's water plus electrolytes. That's sodium, magnesium, and potassium in just the right ratio. But what makes Element so different is. Is it's not like a lot of quite popular hydration drinks that I would never drink because they have, like, 30 grams of sugar, which is a huge, huge, huge deal breaker and a terrible thing to put into your body. That's insane. Element has no bs. It's five calories. It won't break a fast, it's sweetened with stevia, and it tastes fantastic. So I end up drinking more water. After a sauna, sure, after a workout, but it also just flips the switch and in the morning. And healthy hydration can help with so many things. Your mood, your sleep, your brain, your workouts. And when you get it right, you really feel that difference. I also love their sparkling drinks, which we are subscribers to. I put those out at parties and they're huge hits. And I also love the packets of the powder, which are so easy to travel with. And that's basically my go to as well. Right now, Element is offering a free sample Pack of so many different flavors so you can find your favorite flavor, which is super fun. And it's like a $14 value. You get a free one with any order. Just go to drinklmnt.com weird that's drinkelement.com weird to get a free sample pack with any order. Trust me, it's a game changer. This episode is brought to us by our friends at dad Grass who noticed, like me, that so many weed products send you into outer space when really you might just want to relax a little bit or maybe enjoy a movie or maybe enjoy a pizza a little bit more and not be blasted off like a chimpanzee around a satellite and crash land on Venus. It's insane how strong weed is and dad Grass knows that some of us would like a mellow, stackable buzz. And that is exactly what they did with their leisure drinks, which I am obsessed with, which are the perfect dose, which taste amazing. They're yuzu flavored, which is a flavor I don't see enough of. It ships legally to all 50 states if you're over 21 and the dose is perfect. Each one has 3mg of THC and 6mg for CBD. I didn't know that that was the right ratio, but it is. It makes you feel happy, makes you feel relaxed and you have no hangover. Of course you can have more of them if you want to stack that buzz. I find one is just right and in about 10 to 20 minutes you know how you're going to feel. It's not like an edible. It gets into you and you feel fantastic. If you're like me and you don't wake up surrounded by pizza boxes with no memory of what you watched or what you ate, get leisure drinks and all of dad Grass's products, including joints, which Val loves and their gummies. @dadgrass.com weird and use promo code weird for 20% off. That's dadgrass.com weird promo code weird for 20% off. This episode is brought to us by the Apollo Neuro. My favorite game changing wearable piece of tech that has really helped me with my sleep. That was the main thing that I noticed right out of the box. Put it on and I was sleeping. I used to think I was just bad at sleeping. Thought I had to stretch or maybe meditate. Apollo basically does that for you. It tells your body with these almost sub perceptual vibrations on your wrist or on your ankle that your body is safe and it is okay to go to bed it is chemical free. No pills, no grogginess. Just helping your body relax with basically digital touch, like a virtual hug that tells your nervous system in the language that it speaks that you are safe and and you are okay. I was skeptical at first, but I have worn it for years. And just a few nights in, I realized I was falling asleep. And because it's smart, it helps you stay asleep, meaning it will rerun the sleep program without you having to touch any buttons or do anything again. Because that's what the smart vibes AI is. It adjusts for you, especially at night, so your body stays in sleep mode. It is a knockout. It is more like retraining your system how to rest and relax throughout the day and also at night so your body believes it is safe and your mind will follow. If you're someone who feels wired even when you're exhausted, this was huge for me. Go to Apollo neuro.com weird to learn more and get 99 off. That's a P O L L O n e u r-o.com weird for 99 bucks off.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, let's start with Scrubs, but then we'll go to acting in general. But like, you're on Scrubs. I'm. Let's say I'm day playing on Scrubs. Give me. Give me a tip. Like, tell me what you're holding in your mind. Yeah, that you need to. I kind of just teased one is like, your character isn't tired, so fucking find it.

[Sarah Chalk]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Like the. One of the things I always wanted to say was, was pace. That's a big thing. Like pace. Energy.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Bright and tight teeth, smiles. But like, what. What are you holding in your mind when you're doing a comedy like that? That's like fast and funny. I know there's drama and real. But like, when you're doing a comedy scene, what are you holding in your mind?

[Sarah Chalk]

I feel like for Scrubs, for sure, it's pace. And people actually say that when they come on, they're like, oh my God, pace. And I think it's like meaning on its feet. It's fast. It's fast. Like, just the actual pace of the scene always moves fast. And that's often if we're getting a note, that's what it is. One pace here. But I feel like if I'm on Scrubs and there's a guest star coming, like, my biggest wish for them is like, I. Because it's comedy, I'm sure you feel the exact same way. It's like, it's room for failure there. Like, there's so much room. And I wish that everybody that comes on gets a real sense of that.

[Pete Holmes]

Because you mean there's a loud.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's allowed, like, and it's what I mean. That's where comedy happens, I think, like, all the stuff we end up using, it's like, where everybody feels safe fail. Try it. I feel so safe there that they're not never going to use something that doesn't work. And so, like, you can try whatever the you want because it's never going to wind up being used unless it works. And I feel like that was the gift at such a young age. Doing scrubs when I was 24 was. I'd done very little, and there was such a sense of, like, not only a safety net, but, like, learning about comedy. Like, Bill Lawrence would come to set every single take. And before, which I have never experienced before since, where Showrunner comes every single rehearsal and was like, don't try this. That's not really landing. Let's do three alts there. Try this. Try this if you want. Instead, try it like this. Right. Where a lot of actors, like, I don't think, like, line reads, but it was like, it's Bill, and he has a sense of what the it's gonna sound like in his head.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

I'd way rather hear it and go like, oh, yeah, that's great. And then try it. And so I feel like the collaborative feeling, like, that's so hard to replicate. And it's on some sets and it's not on others.

[Pete Holmes]

Can we step that out a little? It's so funny that a writer can say, Sarah crosses to the dresser and nobody's like, I don't like, walk rids.

[Sarah Chalk]

Totally.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I mean?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

We told you what the fuck to wear. We told you where to stand. We cut your hair, we put your makeup on.

[Sarah Chalk]

We dyed it black and chopped it off.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right. And we're not allowed. Can you go up on the word tombstone? Why? Why are you drawing the line there?

[Sarah Chalk]

That seems like a weird choice of where to draw it.

[Pete Holmes]

We're all here to make a vision come to life. And I'm taking issue because I've always been a give me a line read person. Same. Because also, as a writer, there's a music to it and like. And when. I'm not gonna talk too much here, but comedians love it when you go, have you thought about saying that line as a question instead of a statement? And it gets a bigger laugh and you Just go, thank you. I didn't know that. Just thank you. But it's. Actors are so controlled. It's funny that they're like. For those of you that don't know what we're talking about, a line readers. If I say the line is, can I actually get that to go?

[Sarah Chalk]

Can I actually get that to go?

[Pete Holmes]

And I go, can you actually. Can I actually get that? Can I actually get that to go?

[Sarah Chalk]

Can I actually get that to go?

[Pete Holmes]

Can you kind of let it trail off?

[Sarah Chalk]

That's a trail off. I got it. Got it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. So that was the process.

[Sarah Chalk]

That was the process.

[Pete Holmes]

But actors, famously, a lot of them. Not a lot of them, but it does still exist. Old school. Don't give me a line read. I've seen it a bunch of times.

[Sarah Chalk]

I feel like more often than not, you see it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. I think it's starting because they know it's a thing. It's like a prestige. Now we're shitting on Hortons Duncan's, and now we're shitting on actors.

[Sarah Chalk]

I mean, what are we doing?

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know. And for what?

[Sarah Chalk]

And for what?

[Pete Holmes]

To promote the reboot of Scrubs.

[Sarah Chalk]

I feel like, yes.

[Pete Holmes]

People are already watching it. This will not move the needle. We're just torching huge swaths of our fan base for what?

[Sarah Chalk]

Say, like, three really nice things for balance.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. Actors are. They bring life. Dead words, laugh in times of darkness.

[Sarah Chalk]

They give us lightness, and they give

[Pete Holmes]

us a safe place to project our shame and exonerate us.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yes. And we can then have a good cry if we need to. Just get it out. Oh, thank God for actors.

[Pete Holmes]

Thank you, actors. Thank you, actors. Also, maybe take a line read.

[Sarah Chalk]

I'll try it. Okay. But this is the thank you piece of. It is how I feel, like, just in the sense of, like. And I'm. I'm not at all saying, like, don't try it. How you hear it in your head, how you feel it, what feels right. All those things. But also if someone who wrote it and had it in their mind or somebody who has, like. Like Bill, who's, like, extremely talented, just. It's just. No, try it. See what it happens and just have the. I think the really nice thing is that when you get to the point where you're in an environment working where you have the trust and the safety and knowing, like, oh, there's. Yeah, they'll use if it's great. If it's not, they use the other one.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

The other thing.

[Pete Holmes]

I'll Say that's nice about actors is often when I'm watching, I have a sense of what. I have a guess of what the writer intended the line to be said, and then the actor. I feel like a lot of the greats, I'm thinking like Ed Harris and Jeff Bridges and other white men that I just love. Look, let's. And Bill Cosby. Okay? The dumbest guy who doesn't know. I'm just.

[Sarah Chalk]

I think here's something you should know, too.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no. P. Diddy.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, no.

[Pete Holmes]

We're back where we are. We're back. Where are we? We're back. I called him P. Diddy. I don't think we do that anymore.

[Sarah Chalk]

We don't do that anymore.

[Pete Holmes]

After a certain number of felonies, it's just Sean.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, it's just Mr. Combs.

[Pete Holmes]

Anyway, a lot of the great actors and actresses. Actors that I love, often say the line how I wouldn't have guessed. And that's why they're great, is they. They surprise you. So this is me saying it out

[Sarah Chalk]

of my mouth, for sure.

[Pete Holmes]

There is a way that you're supposed to say it. And like. Like George Basil, who was on Crashing With Me, and I wrote Crashing, and he would always say the line, in my opinion, completely wrong. Like, 100% wrong. Then if I ever. When we were making the show, I was like, God damn it, he's right. Like, I thought the line was, can I actually get that to go? And he'd be like, can I actually get that to go? I can't do it. That's the point. There's some people that the wind passes through them and it makes music for some reason. I don't know why. And that's fun to watch.

[Sarah Chalk]

I don't know. In the moment, but it was after

[Pete Holmes]

in the moment, I was like, jesus. I mean, George knows I wouldn't be, like, mad, but I'd be like, can we do one where it sounds like what I was thinking? But I was wrong. So often the example, Jason schwartzman in Fantastic Mr. Fox when he did the podcast, we talked about this at length. There's a line where a bully, you know, stop motion, but it's his voice. A bully wants him to eat mud. And he goes, I'm not gonna eat mud. I'm not gonna eat mud. What?

[Sarah Chalk]

What?

[Pete Holmes]

What? I'm not gonna eat mud.

[Sarah Chalk]

Why? Up on Eat. Why?

[Pete Holmes]

And it's perfect. And sometimes I feel like there's true actors. Schwartzman. True actors that are really doing it. And then there's more people like Me, I'm more of a pleaser. And I'm going like, what did the writer think? What are they going for? I'm gonna do it.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then you get the Schwarzman. That's just a different level. That's why he's in Wes Anderson, in so many Wes Anderson movies, because they're just interesting take kind of choices. And I don't have that. I'm not as cool as that.

[Sarah Chalk]

Vanessa Bear was on shrubs this past season. And there's one line that sticks out to me where she did that, where it's like, I'm not gonna eat mud. I'm not gonna eat mud. Where she. We're standing there at a patient's bedside, and patient wants to. To die. She's ready to die. She doesn't want to live any longer. And we're, you know, I'm trying to, like, say, but what about this? What about this? And Vanessa's bear says, well, I. I did write something down on my pad here that might help change your mind. And then she proceeds to, like, turn so many pages of this pad that it just gets so funnier and funnier because, like, she's. She's turning the pages and I'm standing beside her dying, going, don't break. Don't break. And then she goes. She gets to the thing on her pad and she goes, what if hell is real? The way that she said it, I was like, nobody else would have delivered it like that.

[Pete Holmes]

Israel.

[Sarah Chalk]

What if hell is real? It was incredible. And I.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes, because what if hell is real?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, what if hell is real? What if hell is real?

[Pete Holmes]

There's another one. I love that so much. It's a Romeo and Michelle story. I have a lot of Romeo and Michelle stories, but Lisa Kudrow, who's brilliant, she got the audition for Romeo and Michelle because there was. Oh, God, I'm gonna it up. There was some basic thing where she's like, are you here for the audition? And she's. Or she's like, I'm here for the audition. And then Lisa Kudrow went, me too. But the line was intended to just be like, me too. But she played it like she was like, oh, my God, me too. And that made everyone die laughing. And I was like, that's just next level. Not just talented, like, interesting, weird. Like, we're in a store that sells too many strange oddities. I'm just like a store where you buy a flat screen tv.

[Sarah Chalk]

That is not true. And I will.

[Pete Holmes]

Come on.

[Sarah Chalk]

Obviously disagree. We could spend most of the Time talking about that.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I mean? There's certain people, like Zach Galifianakis, other white men, that I just love. I'm just trying to think of, like, the real kook of Madukes. The real kooks. And I'll never be a Kookumadoo Galifianakis

[Sarah Chalk]

for hours and days.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what I mean. Just real kooks.

[Sarah Chalk]

Everything. Everything he says. I just saw him in Vancouver.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And is that public that he's. I mean, know he's a good.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, well, he was being interviewed by Dave Letterman.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. As part of his show.

[Pete Holmes]

Yep.

[Sarah Chalk]

And just the way that he would move on stage, like, at one point he'd, like, stood up and, like, would walk towards the audience to say something. And it was just the way he sits, his body language, all of his choices about how he was speaking in an interview.

[Pete Holmes]

I was like, some people got it.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. No, I think. I think it is just kidding. Not us.

[Pete Holmes]

What if we were just sad? Not us.

[Sarah Chalk]

Not us.

[Pete Holmes]

You do have it. You know what? You have that Zach has, too. And I mean this as a very high compliment. There is a physicality to what you're doing, and that's that. That. Was that something you always had, or did you have to unlock that as an achievement?

[Sarah Chalk]

I. The physicality part of Scrubs was one of my favorite parts because I. There's so many jobs where you don't really have. That's not on the table. That's not really one of the things that's going to be happening. And the physicality piece of that was so much fun to play around with. Like, we obviously. With the pratfalls. And, like, we were young, so we'd always ask to do our own stunt. The brat falls. The brat falls. We'd always ask to do our own stunts. Even if, like, you know, they were too dangerous, we'd try them.

[Pete Holmes]

Still wanted to.

[Sarah Chalk]

We still, like, want to do them.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, that's so fun. Again, because of that trust. You knew it wasn't gonna. If it was good, they would use it.

[Sarah Chalk]

They would use it. And.

[Pete Holmes]

And if you died, they would definitely use it. If.

[Sarah Chalk]

They would definitely use it.

[Pete Holmes]

Someone, you know in the Dark Knight that. That semi truck flips over and the guy died. It's in the movie.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, I didn't know.

[Pete Holmes]

That's a real thing.

[Sarah Chalk]

That's a real thing.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, I. I don't think we have to tiptoe around that. That's, like, an honor. It's like a It's like a. Yeah. I don't know.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know if it's an honor, but it's. It's how we do it.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's how we do it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

So, yeah. The physicality piece of it. I mean, I was always a disaster. I've never understood where my body is in space ever. Like, I'm five ten, five, ten. I'm five' eight, and my wingspan is six feet. And you're supposed to be the same. Like, if you measure.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, you're one of those Michelangelo freaks. You're like, wrong.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not a circle. It's like a rhombus.

[Sarah Chalk]

Rhombus or rhombus adjacent. Like, I.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, this is six feet and this is five. That's very funny.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's very different.

[Pete Holmes]

Very funny.

[Sarah Chalk]

My doctor was like, like, that's a calculation. We could check if you have such and such. I was like, no, thanks. I don't need to.

[Pete Holmes]

Do you fall over a lot?

[Sarah Chalk]

All the time. It's. Clothing is like. I mean, you can't roll things because it's like, it doesn't come to the.

[Pete Holmes]

Bro, bro, bro, bro. But I feel like I've never had a.

[Sarah Chalk]

You've never had. But your wingspan.

[Pete Holmes]

Span. I know. I am. My wingspan's the same as my ding span. Height.

[Sarah Chalk]

Height was what I.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, I didn't mean to say ding spam.

[Sarah Chalk]

I didn't mean to say that either. I didn't mean to insinuate that it's the same. And so how that plays out. How that plays out is you just. I would have thought by almost 50, I would know where my body is in space, but I don't. So Bill wrote that into the character, into the show, because I would. I mean, I call all the time and be like, Randall, I'm just gonna have to stand behind the hospital bed and not walk in this episode because I am on crutches. And then, like, you know, I did limbo again and I had a recurring limbo injury. And they're like, why do you need to. You don't need to be limboing. Like, just stop that.

[Pete Holmes]

Why are you limboing?

[Sarah Chalk]

And why are you.

[Pete Holmes]

You're always carrying two buckets of water.

[Sarah Chalk]

Cuz your arms always, always, always small buckets. Small but.

[Pete Holmes]

But enough to bring you down.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. Enough nonetheless.

[Pete Holmes]

Enough to take you out.

[Sarah Chalk]

Enough to take me and anyone in my.

[Pete Holmes]

Do they have limbo injuries?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, yeah. Because I. No, I. My phys.

[Pete Holmes]

That was a great.

[Sarah Chalk]

My physical.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It Was great.

[Sarah Chalk]

Thank you. No notes.

[Pete Holmes]

No notes. That's the one mark that day. Yeah. You have limbo injuries.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, because I. I'm not athletic at all. And it's my one. I mean, I recognize most people consider it like an athletic pursuit, but if it's all you've got. Yeah, you will hold on to it. And so it's. I tried out for every team. I couldn't make a team, but I really can limbo and I've never lost a limbo competition. And so. Yeah, so the problem is, is now in my latest decade, I injure. I just get this weird lump behind my ankle every time. So I keep going to the physical therapist and they're like, how'd you do it? And I'm like, limbo again. And they're like, stop.

[Pete Holmes]

How many weddings are you going to? Where does limbo happen? Club Med? Carnival Cruises?

[Sarah Chalk]

At this point in my life, I'm just to think back on my most recent limbo experiences. They did have me limbo on scrubs in this past season. I did.

[Pete Holmes]

Knowing the risks.

[Sarah Chalk]

Knowing. Knowing the risks. I did. So there's something. Something called Big Slick that I go to most years, which is a charity event in Kansas City hosted by Jason Sudeikis and Paul Rudd and. And Eric Stonestreet and Rob Riggle and Heidi Gardner and David Keckner, who are all from Kansas. And they do this charity for the children's hospital. Everybody goes back to the hotel after to play poker and karaoke. And a limbo event kind of also started. And so I do limbo there once a year.

[Pete Holmes]

I am picturing that they're playing cards and I'm okay. And you've had a few chardonnays and you're just like, limbo and like no one else is doing it.

[Sarah Chalk]

Is there a mop? Does anybody have a belt? Is there a broom in anyone here?

[Pete Holmes]

I'll do with my mind. Just imagine it's here.

[Sarah Chalk]

Move that mind bar lower, bring it down.

[Pete Holmes]

Go under a mine bar.

[Sarah Chalk]

Go under a mind bar. As long as you lower it and

[Pete Holmes]

you still injure yourself. So you were. Jason Sudeikis is playing cards and you're doing a limbo injury nearby.

[Sarah Chalk]

Injury nearby. And the problem is, is I can't. Like, you'd think that if you were looking at like a two month recovery, you wouldn't do it. I can't not.

[Pete Holmes]

You just love the bow.

[Sarah Chalk]

I just love the bow. Like, if you took this. If you. If you kneeled one side, you would.

[Pete Holmes]

You would have to. You'd be obliged.

[Sarah Chalk]

I would be obliged.

[Pete Holmes]

You'd be obliged.

[Sarah Chalk]

I'd be obliged. Like, it happened at New Year's last year, and my sister was like. Like, don't do it, Sarah. Like, what are you doing? And I was like, it's my one time to flex in front of my kids. They've never seen me limbo, and they know I can't do anything athletic. This is. This is the. This is it.

[Pete Holmes]

Limbo. I mean, it's so close to the pole vault. Right?

[Sarah Chalk]

It's not close to the ball.

[Pete Holmes]

I just mean if the.

[Sarah Chalk]

If the pool was horizontal.

[Pete Holmes]

Pole vault, it's horizontal.

[Sarah Chalk]

Isn't that the high jump? Isn't the pole vault this thing?

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. Oh, high jump. I guess high jump. High jump is limbo taken to an Olympic extreme.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

What if we're jumping over this and it goes up?

[Sarah Chalk]

That's true. That's true. I'm not.

[Pete Holmes]

But limbo has no respect. High jump is in the world game.

[Sarah Chalk]

This is news. I. Dear diary, I didn't know limbo had no respect.

[Pete Holmes]

Limbo.

[Sarah Chalk]

I'm learning.

[Pete Holmes]

Limbo is a fucking injuring myself. This whole time, nobody. Nobody's impressed. Nobody's impressed.

[Sarah Chalk]

Except for.

[Pete Holmes]

It's just. God gave you a weird spine. Yeah, it's just scoliosis in motion.

[Sarah Chalk]

Okay, that is. That is true. That is true. I do have an exoskeleton, but I'm just kidding. Outside my back, I feel like it's. Okay. Point taken.

[Pete Holmes]

I bet if I saw you doing limbo, I would eat my words. It's one of those things like juggling or devil sticks.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

If you see something, just know that that's the category. Your skill is, like, devil sticks.

[Sarah Chalk]

I mean. Okay, so you know what, Pete? This morning was a gift. Because now you've given me the gift of I can let limbo go and I don't need to injure my ankle any longer.

[Pete Holmes]

You also can't.

[Sarah Chalk]

But I also can't.

[Pete Holmes]

You're the woman who. If someone's got a hacky sack going, you're in that circle.

[Sarah Chalk]

Scott Wallace taught me how to juggle walking home from school from grade eight. So I. Yes. I'm in the hacky sack circle. I was in the hacky sack circle. I had. I had a hacky sack.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

And I learned to juggle.

[Pete Holmes]

You were whack.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You were whack as shit, dude. You had to have.

[Sarah Chalk]

Or if you had, like, a brand new one that wasn't, like, worked in and it was just in like. It was just Like a brand new. And then you were, like, a poser.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right. You better hack that sack for a few months before you show it. Yeah, don't show me your sack until it's all hacked.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's all hacked. That is a firm new sack. That is nobody.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait. A business idea. Pre hacked sacks.

[Sarah Chalk]

Pre hacked sack. Why has nobody done this?

[Pete Holmes]

Also, was there a lot of, like, sack sack jokes? Is that why hacky sack is such a joke? Oh, maybe he's got, like, a balls.

[Sarah Chalk]

Maybe, maybe.

[Pete Holmes]

Maybe Hacky sack.

[Sarah Chalk]

Okay, then why is limbo a joke? Because there's no limbo.

[Pete Holmes]

The only thing. Limbo is, like, the space between heaven and what if hell is real?

[Sarah Chalk]

What if hell Israel?

[Pete Holmes]

What if hell Israel. She's so funny. She was in funny. Oh, I thought she was knocked up. She was in Amy's.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yes. Yes. Oh, my God. She is fantastic in everything she does.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. What's different this time around with the scrubber dubs?

[Sarah Chalk]

What's different? Well, that we're the oldies and we used to be the newbies.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Sure.

[Sarah Chalk]

So, like, you know, we were 24, 25, and 26 when we started, and. And I felt like I was kind of, like, learning on the job, you know, it was, like, such a gift and, like, working with all of them and with Bill and so the diff. The biggest difference is. Yeah. Like, everything else is exactly the same. Like, the same exact sets they rebuilt, the exact hospital.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

Same character, same people you're with.

[Pete Holmes]

And the differences was that walking in,

[Sarah Chalk]

it was such a trip. It was like.

[Pete Holmes]

Like a dream.

[Sarah Chalk]

It was. It totally was. And it still kind of.

[Pete Holmes]

What? What were you gonna say? Sorry.

[Sarah Chalk]

Well, it just. Like, we all thought. Because the whole. The hospital's torn down. We all thought like, oh, it'll get kind of like the old one. Like, 70 of the way there. It's like. It's identical.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Sarah Chalk]

Like. And just what you were saying before of, like, when you watch an episode, like, what comes back?

[Pete Holmes]

The scene.

[Sarah Chalk]

Memories. So walking onto that set the first time was like. I mean, I grew up. My whole 20s was like, that specific cafeteria, that specific, you know, ICU, all of the. All of the things. So it was wild. It was super surreal, and I knew it would be fun going back, and it actually was even more fun than I had thought.

[Pete Holmes]

Were there ever serious medical emergencies on the set of Scrubs? Because I think dying in a fake hospital would be really frustrating.

[Sarah Chalk]

So, like, weird that you should ask. It actually was a functioning hospital for years, and so people would come Up. And we'd be, like, dressed as doctors, as, like, background actors that are, like, bleeding from their head. And someone comes up, like, covered in blood, and we're like, it's not a hospital. Wait, what are you talking about?

[Pete Holmes]

A real guy in blood?

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, patients, like, people that needed to go to urgent care would pull up and. And we'd be like, oh, this is not a hospital.

[Pete Holmes]

You give them a script. You're lying. You're doing it great. It's. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. But then, unfortunately, Zach Braff is gonna just hit your knee with one of those rubber things. Cause he's going through a thing where he's nervous about bandages.

[Sarah Chalk]

So that's all you get.

[Pete Holmes]

So JD doesn't like bandages, so unfortunately, he can't bandage you this episode. That's his arc.

[Sarah Chalk]

That's his arc. Oh.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, you're dead.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, that's too late.

[Pete Holmes]

Aw, he's dead.

[Sarah Chalk]

But then you tell the writers, because then they can learn from that experience.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah. It makes a script.

[Sarah Chalk]

And then it's like, you have to write it in.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Then you have to use that take, because they did.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So that would happen. That's crazy.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, it was, actually.

[Pete Holmes]

People thought you were a doctor.

[Sarah Chalk]

People thought we were doctors. And then you'd be like. Wanna run my lines with me while you're here? You have superior mesoriconsufficiency.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow. Oh, you have some doctor Jargon. What's your go to doctor Jargon Riff?

[Sarah Chalk]

Superior mesenteric insufficiency. That was superior mesenteric insufficiency.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow. What does that mean, superior?

[Sarah Chalk]

You're pretty above cavity.

[Pete Holmes]

That's one of mine.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh.

[Pete Holmes]

Thoracic Park. Welcome to Thoracic Park. And it opens. And there's a T. Rex in there. What is it? I'm blanking a lot today. Clever girl.

[Sarah Chalk]

Clever girl.

[Pete Holmes]

Who cares? Who cares? Was that worth it? Zebraf. So I texted Zebraf.

[Sarah Chalk]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Sarah Chalk]

Okay. Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, don't worry. They're all nice. Accident prone. We kind of covered that, like, every day. You fall?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. Zach told the kids, the new kids. Chalky's going to injure herself. Every day there's going to be something broken. And every day she's going to come and be like. So I was driving downtown, and you're not going to believe what happened to me. And then the next day was the day before shooting, and I was jogging down the backside of a mountain, slipped and broke my finger. You can see it. That ring, right?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. You can definitely see It.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's not better. It's been six months.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm so sorry.

[Sarah Chalk]

So that was the day before. So if you watch.

[Pete Holmes]

That is a severe difference of Scrubs rubs between this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go. That's serious. Looks like a turnip.

[Sarah Chalk]

This is how. No, it's not cute. This is how my.

[Pete Holmes]

No turnips are very cute.

[Sarah Chalk]

They're.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes, go ahead. You were taped.

[Sarah Chalk]

I have a not cute turnip finger. I'm doing a very dorky sport, apparently, Limbo, which I thought was cool. I'm taped like this for all the episodes. Almost like I have, like, a claw. But. But yeah, it was the day before, and I went to breakfast with Zach and the producers, and I didn't want to tell anyone and worry them because we were shooting the next day, so I didn't say anything. I was like, I'll X ray it later. And I sit down and Zach's like, my sweater falls as I'm telling a story, and he's like, why are you bleeding from your arm? And I was like, oh, yeah, I fell while I'm telling the story, the server trips, all the food and water on the tray onto my lap. So I'm bleeding from my arm. I have a broken finger. I'm covered in food. And they were all like. Like, nothing has changed in 25 years. Like, you just. I just attract.

[Pete Holmes]

You attract it weird.

[Sarah Chalk]

Sometimes accident prone, but also just an energy. But it's an energy.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, you're like a. A mosquito zapper, but for, like, disasters.

[Sarah Chalk]

But for. For disaster. And that's what. That's what everyone at Scrubs would say every day. I would come in on a Monday morning for eight years and be like, you're not gonna believe what happened. And it would be, like, from, you know, like. Like last year, I just. I skied into my boyfriend, took him out, tore my mcl. He fell on top of me, just took him out. Took him out on the hill. Just took him out.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Sarah Chalk]

And that was it. But it's not just like. I think it's an important distinction that it's not just disasters. Like, it's. It's also just, like, weird. Like, I'm trying to think of one that's not a painful one, but more just like. Of something that just wouldn't happen to someone. Oh, I know. I was in. I was, like, 19, probably, and my best friend was in film school, and she was in film school with, like. It was, like, a time when there was, like, only two girls in film school. The Rest were guys, and they were like, the coolest group of guys. And we go to parties with them, and I'd be like, oh, they're so cool. One of them was doing background work on a show, a local show I was doing in Vancouver because he was a writer, so he could write and do his background stuff. And I was like, oh, my God. Hey, how's it going? And we're chatting. It's a night shoot. I'm wearing this, like. Like, skirt and a top that's, like a tube top that's, like, tied. It's like this light, gauzy fabric. And I'm telling him a story, and I'm, like, gesticulating a lot. And he's such a gentleman. He doesn't break eye contact with me. And he's like, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I have to tell you, your shirt is around your waist. And I was like, what?

[Pete Holmes]

This man needs a plaque. He just stayed on your eyes. Another. Another choice is. That's shame, though. He stayed with your dignity, but didn't. And it was just like. Just so you know, you're.

[Sarah Chalk]

I. I sometimes I'll tell you, your shirt is off. I'm not sure I tell you this, but your shirts are on your waist.

[Pete Holmes]

I've never talked to a person who didn't know their shirt was off, but you seem to be one of them.

[Sarah Chalk]

I. I am. And I was 19. And my. The whole. And I was this. That moment where you go, do I just put it up, tie it up, keep talking? Do I run and cry? Do I?

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Sarah Chalk]

Because this is like. It's not just like a manhole.

[Pete Holmes]

You jump in a manhole.

[Sarah Chalk]

You jump in a manhole.

[Pete Holmes]

That's why.

[Sarah Chalk]

That's the only.

[Pete Holmes]

People think manholes are there to get access to pipes. It's when your shirt.

[Sarah Chalk]

Shirt is around your waist.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't know it is. And guy goes, your shirt's off. You go, great. Manhole Ninja Turtles arcade game. Just two blinking white eyes. You just wait for him to leave.

[Sarah Chalk]

That's it.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what manholes are for.

[Sarah Chalk]

And you stay down there sometimes. It might be days.

[Pete Holmes]

It could be days. Maybe you train some turtles.

[Sarah Chalk]

Maybe they're calling you for your scene.

[Pete Holmes]

Doesn't matter.

[Sarah Chalk]

You don't.

[Pete Holmes]

What did you do?

[Sarah Chalk]

I pulled it up and I tied it up and I kept talking.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that's a good.

[Sarah Chalk]

I was the only. It was really the only choice in that moment, because there was no manhole. There's no manhole around me. I was in a We were shooting in a forest.

[Pete Holmes]

That's your new memoir, Second only to manhole.

[Sarah Chalk]

Totally new book.

[Pete Holmes]

I love the. This is what he said. Accident prone. You go on vacation and someone will be sick.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we just went on vacation and Zach was like, how was the holidays? Oh, it's great. My littlest got pneumonia. The three other three of us got, you know, the flu. He's like, of course. Do you ever just go on trip? Do you ever just do trip? I was like, we don't.

[Pete Holmes]

We don't do trip.

[Sarah Chalk]

We don't do trip.

[Pete Holmes]

And is your whole family. Do they have the. The evil eye on them as well? I feel like the evil eye.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's not the evil eye, but it's. It's. I feel like I am at the epicenter of it, and maybe the. If I'm being honest, probably the. The causer of a lot of it. Like, I. They know more where their bodies are in space.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. But you send in mom.

[Sarah Chalk]

They have normal wingspan to body ratios.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, do they?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, it skips a generation. Their kids are going to be.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like model airplanes.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, oh, yeah, totally. Like, you can just put them together

[Pete Holmes]

and it works like a Howard Hughes airplane. The wings were way too long, but it was, like, wooden. They were fig it out. That's your body.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's figuring it out. I may. Model airplane that has not quite figured it out.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

I asked Katie.

[Pete Holmes]

You were a little early. I was going to look it up, and this is why. I don't know. But you were on Roseanne.

[Sarah Chalk]

Was I early?

[Pete Holmes]

You were a little early.

[Sarah Chalk]

Dear diary.

[Pete Holmes]

Dear diary, Today was the day.

[Sarah Chalk]

Apologies. My apologies for being early. That's why. I don't know. But you want to barge in on somebody, like, barge away doing things like, you opened your door, someone was leaving. There was a suitcase.

[Pete Holmes]

Are we calling it a barge now? Wasn't a barge. Barge is where I put trash at the sea. That's a barge. It was just a little early. I don't know why this. Why this riff. I hated it.

[Sarah Chalk]

I liked it.

[Pete Holmes]

You liked it?

[Sarah Chalk]

I liked it.

[Pete Holmes]

I just. No, I was gonna. I'm embarrassed that I don't know. You were on the original Roseanne.

[Sarah Chalk]

I was.

[Pete Holmes]

And you were Becky.

[Sarah Chalk]

You're like Becky 2/4. I was. I was.

[Pete Holmes]

What does this mean? So Zach told me that they would swap the original. There was an original Becky and there was you. Yes. You were replacing Becky.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Tell me everything. I don't know anything.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's kind of wild. I was in Vancouver and I, like, worked a tiny bit. And by a tiny bit, I mean, like, on all of the movies of the week shot up there. Like, the beginning of my resume is like, moment of truth. Semicolon. Stand against fear. Relentless. The mind of a Killer. Our mother's murder. Dying to belong. You can get the. There's a lot of colons, a lot of

[Pete Holmes]

subtitles. Part of it's in italics.

[Sarah Chalk]

Changing titles. A lot of italics had something's in bold and then there's something tiny down here. It. It was. It was. There was a lot of, like.

[Pete Holmes]

Then something else would dissolve.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's a lot of, like, formerly known as, like. It was Mood Indigo Killer because there

[Pete Holmes]

was a real movie that had that title.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, totally. That was taken.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah. Forgotten. The Woodland Killing. Okay. And you were in the Woodland Games.

[Sarah Chalk]

I was in the Woodland Games, but then Roseanne, not the OG Forgotten. Well, yeah, but it was. It was not a. They were doing a, like nationwide in Canada and the states, search for a Becky. Because Lecy Goranson, who played Becky, had done it for five years and she was going away to college. And so they had decided they were going to try and replace the character,

[Pete Holmes]

but with a new character. With a new actor.

[Sarah Chalk]

With a new actor. Like, exactly the same character. So when I got the side, I was auditioning with this guy in Canada. We were putting on tape, and it was like Becky and Mark had been whited out. And they put like, Susan and Paul or something. And we're doing this scene, and he's like, I've seen this scene. It's from the Roseanne show. And I was like, oh, weird. It's for a new series filming in 1994, and they're just using these sides, I guess. So I put a VHS tape in the mail. And then they were like, you know, it's actually for the Roseanne show, replacing Becky and come down and audition. And there was seven of us. And they. They. They wanted to see if you could kind of be on a tape night set. So they had, like four cameras and they were calling out numbers and they had a laugh track. And Glenn quinn, who was 24 and Irish and gorgeous, I'm doing the scene with him. And the whole scene was making out. And I'm 16. And he's like, baby, baby, come here. And I'm like, get a job at the gas station. Come here, baby, baby, come here. Get a job at the gas station. That was the scene. And I remember thinking, like, how am I Gonna remember one line like, I'm 16. I.

[Pete Holmes]

Because he's a bear.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yes, he was. And he's, like, Irish, and just like, I. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because.

[Pete Holmes]

And you want him to work at the gas station, and I want him

[Sarah Chalk]

to work at the. Get a job. Get it. Not a job. A job. And I'm sitting there trying not to have my Canadian accent.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, yeah. Glenn and I were sent to an accent dialect coach up Fryman Canyon for his Irish accent. Me. To get rid of my Canadian.

[Pete Holmes]

Get the Duncan. I got it.

[Sarah Chalk]

Totally. No more.

[Pete Holmes]

So you're 16, and you have to do a makeup scene.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

With somebody who's extremely dreamy on a hit show. This is a big deal.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. And it was at a time where there were no shows.

[Pete Holmes]

No shows.

[Sarah Chalk]

It was. There was 11 shows, but this is

[Pete Holmes]

one of the biggest shows.

[Sarah Chalk]

It was number one time, and at the time, it was number one.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

And then.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, so you get there. You get it from this tape.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. Get the call back from the tape, and then you. And then you sign a deal. And it was like, you know, seven days. They were supposed to let us know. So I fly back to Canada, and then on night six, they're like, fly back tomorrow morning and do a scene with Roseanne. So I did four, down to four of us. And we're on the couch with Roseanne, and she turns to me. She's like, how old are you? And I was, like, 16. And she's like, no, how old are you, really? And I was, like, 16. The idea of lying about my age, like, would not have occurred to me.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, right.

[Sarah Chalk]

Like, and all the other girls I was auditioning with were, like, 22 and had moved to LA. And I think they were worried, like, since I was the youngest, that I would also want to leave to go. Go to school. And so they called me, and I got the job, and I told a few people, and it spread around our high school, like, immediately, because it sounded like such a weird lie. Like, there's 11 shows on TV, and I'm like, I'm gonna be on that show, and I'm gonna be playing her. That girl that already has the part. I'm gonna do that.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah. That is. So my girlfriend's in Canada, but. And you were in Canada. It's such a classic. Like, yeah, I'm gonna be Urkel. I'm Urkel now.

[Sarah Chalk]

Now I am. And there's eight shows.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

And then they called me after that weekend, and they were like, we actually having cold feet. About replacing Becky. So we don't know if we're gonna do it, but if we do, it'll be you, but we're gonna put you on hold for four months. And I was like, okay. So no one's ever gonna talk to me at school again if this doesn't happen, because they're gonna think I'm the weirdo who lied about being Becky on the Roseanne show.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Sarah Chalk]

So they gave me $10,000 for the summer to be on hold. And then. And then at the end of the summer, which, yeah, we're gonna do it. Come down. It was like, I couldn't believe that amount. I was like, I guess I never have to work.

[Pete Holmes]

You could have paid off your high

[Sarah Chalk]

school job or not.

[Pete Holmes]

Shut up. Oh, who's begging? Shut up, you weird pink money. Shut the fuck up. Why is the queen on it? I don't know. We have a weird history. It's not the queen who's on the money, Is it the queen? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Riff stands.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

The rift plays.

[Pete Holmes]

The rift plays. The rift plays.

[Sarah Chalk]

So I had my summer money and just sat there on it and was like, well, I hope this happens. And then it did. And they called you at. Yeah, they said at the end of summer, they're like, yeah, come down. We're gonna do this.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. And then. Look, this isn't like a gossip pod, but I've heard Rosanna's kind of nutty.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's not a gossip pod.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not TMZ gossip pod.

[Sarah Chalk]

So can you imagine? I literally have not worked, and I'm 16. I have no business being there. I have no idea what I'm doing. And it was like, you know, walking onto this.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm pre dead, by the way, where. Where just thinking about this, like, I.

[Sarah Chalk]

I literally had no idea what I was doing. Like, I didn't even know. I knew nothing about anything. So, like, right from, like, if you think about all the things that are just kind of second nature now, like continuity or, like, just how to learn

[Pete Holmes]

your lines, where to put a glass after you drink something, where you put

[Sarah Chalk]

it and then remember, that's where you put it last time. And then this other element of the live audience that was, like, felt like doing a play, which I actually loved.

[Pete Holmes]

Hot show audience. They're stoked to be there.

[Sarah Chalk]

Stoked to be there. And then, you know, I. I just would look around, and it would be like, John Goodman, Laurie Metcalf, Sandra Bernhard, Fred Roller, Martin Moll, Johnny Galecki, Sarah Gilbert, like, the craziest Group of comedians that you can imagine all piled.

[Pete Holmes]

It's an incredible cast.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's incredible cast.

[Pete Holmes]

It's incredible.

[Sarah Chalk]

And I would just watch, like, I remember watching Laurie Metcalfe, and, like, I had no frame of reference for any of this. I keep in mind, had worked on Relentless, the mind of the Killer, where I played the daughter who answered the phone. So the totality of my body of work was mom, phone. And I'd say, mom, phone. And they'd be like, don't say mom, say mom. And that was kind of like.

[Pete Holmes]

And hang it up with your long arms. Try to step. Take a few steps away from the receiver before you hang it up. It looks weird. Your gate is weird.

[Sarah Chalk]

Don't trip over the core.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, we got it. That's a wrap. That's a wrap on Howard Hughes plane.

[Sarah Chalk]

This is what they call me from now on hhp. There's nothing better we can get from that. So we're just gonna have to go with HHP's best work, which is not that great because she has. Did say in every take up till that point. Up till that point.

[Pete Holmes]

Until that point. Thank you very much.

[Sarah Chalk]

So.

[Pete Holmes]

So you're watching Lori.

[Sarah Chalk]

So I'm watching Lori. I'm, like, getting to watch her do, like, the table read on Monday and then come in on Tuesday and do something totally different. And then on Wednesday, like, that was all brand new.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, she was always evolving.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yes. And trying things and so brave and so interesting and like we were talking about before with Jason Schwarzman and just that difference of somebody who's just like, got it. Got it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

And tries everything.

[Pete Holmes]

Isn't she like a Tony winner? I mean, she won all sorts of like. Yeah, she's a force.

[Sarah Chalk]

She's a force.

[Pete Holmes]

So you're watching this. You're learning. Probably learning a lot from this person.

[Sarah Chalk]

Learning so much. So on the one hand, like, obviously so grateful for this job that was like. Like I insane to have gotten that lucky to have that as like, one of, like, pretty much your first job. And then the flip side of that, being 16 and so young and a young 16 and kind of like not understanding any of it. Like, if you think about the whole, like, there's the onset piece, but there's also the whole piece that came with stepping onto a number one show that come. And everything that comes with that, that I didn't. Didn't understand that nobody tells you about that wasn't explained. You know, the. The stacks of mail from people in penitentiaries that get sent to you as a 16 year old. And you find it one day and you're like, oh, that's. That's an interesting letter to read. And then like, what? Yeah, to like, going to like the weekend publicity, like people in love with you. Yeah. There's writing you mail that gets sent to the show, that then gets forwarded to you, but you're a kid. And then like, like, you know, going to the after work, you know, they'll be like, oh, on Sunday there's a, a press thing. And I kind of thought like, oh, that's just part of your job. Like, I didn't realize it was optional, so I didn't understand to even ask what it was. I would just show up and I'd be like, huh, where's the rest of the cast? And it would be like, me. It was like battle of the network stars. And it'd be like, me, Mario Lopez, Tina Yothers. And they would hand us like, Adidas, like, hot pants and a sports bra. And you're doing like the superstar American Gladiators events, which are like girl on girl wrestling, human pinball, scaling up a wet volcano with like a gladiator shooting a hose of water down at you as you, like, scramble up this volcano.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm like 17 and just Mario Lopez. There's no way, there's no way.

[Sarah Chalk]

I didn't stand a chance.

[Pete Holmes]

And like, he's already up there.

[Sarah Chalk]

He's at the top.

[Pete Holmes]

You're getting hosed.

[Sarah Chalk]

I'm. I'm gonna.

[Pete Holmes]

He's already up there telling me what movies are in my hotel.

[Sarah Chalk]

So, like, so it was just ev. Everything was new. Like, going to. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You just didn't know.

[Sarah Chalk]

I didn't know. I remember going to a premiere and I had a dress and I put it on and I had these really weird shoes. I still remember what they were. And my mom was like, should you go buy some shoes to go with this dress? And I remember being like, no, why would I do that? I have a perfectly good pair of shoes on my feet and I would be like, on the worst dress list. And like, like I just. Which I didn't really care about at the time either, but I just did.

[Pete Holmes]

Somebody could.

[Sarah Chalk]

But I still, still. I just. There were so many. When I look back on it, there were so many elements that come along with knowing that. I just didn't.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, you were a babe in the woods. You were a Canadian in the woods.

[Sarah Chalk]

As a Canadian babe in the woods.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah. They were like, everybody will love your shoes. It'll be fine.

[Sarah Chalk]

It'll be fine. Oh, everybody will be there on Sunday. Just show up at night.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Go, go climb that wall with Mario. It's a privilege. Wear the.

[Sarah Chalk]

Wear the sports bra and the hot pants. We'll shoot water down at you.

[Pete Holmes]

People love girls wrestling. It's totally fine.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's totally fine.

[Pete Holmes]

Read this letter from this guy. He's on death row. You should write him back. He's only got a couple.

[Sarah Chalk]

Say something nice.

[Pete Holmes]

Say something nice for the end.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Dark riff.

[Sarah Chalk]

Dark. Super dark.

[Pete Holmes]

Amazon Health AI presents Painful Thoughts why

[Sarah Chalk]

did I search the Internet for answers to my cold sore problem? Now I'm stuck down a rabbit hole filled with images of alarmingly graphic source in various stages of ooze. I can clear my search history, but I can never unsee that.

[Pete Holmes]

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[Julie Louis-Dreyfus]

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[Pete Holmes]

But was. I mean, I watched a documentary. I forget what it's called, but it's on YouTube. I recommend it. It was a trip about Roseanne. I remember Chuck Lorre was like, one of the writers. Was he writing when you were there?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. I mean, my, you know, experience on that show was so different from Scrubs in terms of the writers. Like, the writers on Scrubs, we were in an abandoned hospital, and so they were right there. So we'd go for lunches altogether. We'd go to the money tree. After Friday nights, I went to some of their weddings. Like, I became close with all of them. On Roseanne, it was a very different experience. Like, the writing staff, like, in an unfortunate way that I regret I never really got. I mean, obviously such a talented group, and I never got to know them, partly because, like, they were sequestered.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Sarah Chalk]

I mean, they were sequestered. They would come to set one day. I remember everybody got fired. The writers, the whole. How I remember it was the whole writing staff. Maybe it was the whole writing staff, but two people. Maybe it was half of them. But as a kid, my recollection was

[Pete Holmes]

that it was on a whim, perhaps.

[Sarah Chalk]

I don't know. That's. Yeah. Roseanne had fired them, and I don't remember. I still don't know the story to this day. She fired the staff. Well, and I get rid of them, and I'm not telling tales out of school. Like, this is talked about, and it's like, you know, and now there's so many. Like, I wish I'd kept a journal. I wish I kept a journal for so many reasons to remember, like, what it felt like and kind of, like, all the, you know, different ins and outs of it. But it was. Yeah, it was definitely not. It. Not a writer's room that I was. I was never gonna go hang out with.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

So in terms of, like, all of the writers that were there and not there at different times, like, that was a bummer. Like, in job since, you know, you obviously get to be close with the writers and get to know them.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

I was kind of, like, sequestered. I'm like, we would be Michael Fisher, and I would go up to the school room. There's a school room right above. And you'd go up to the school room and do your classes that you're missing and.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow. Okay.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, no, you go first.

[Pete Holmes]

No, you.

[Sarah Chalk]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Is the name of this video Pete Holmes? No, it's not. Nope, Nope.

[Sarah Chalk]

I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go.

[Pete Holmes]

So she fires the whole staff. Like a czar of some sort. Like, that's it. Everybody's gone. Was that, like, how quickly a new staff was just brought?

[Sarah Chalk]

I Don't remember.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, you could.

[Sarah Chalk]

I don't remember. I don't. And I don't even know that I knew.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

You know what, how, what transition happened?

[Pete Holmes]

What's interesting about this documentary that's on YouTube. I forget what it's called, but it's called like 7 errors, 7 days to showtime or something. And it's a week at Roseanne. Oh, wow. It is the height of like flying so close to the sun as a hit show. Meaning egos are big. I'm not even trying to drag Roseanne or anybody. I'm just saying it was at a time when, like I said, you're flying too close to the sun, you're making too much money, too many people are watching and things are just getting kind of insane. Was it tense doing the show?

[Sarah Chalk]

Was it tense? I, you know, my recollection of the feeling of being there, it wasn't. And maybe it's because I was a kid and so I think probably, you know, there was a lot of things that went on that I didn't even know about out. My recollection of it was it was a piece of it that was a very well oiled machine. By the time I got there, it was season six. So it was like it was a four day work week. It was like a Monday table read. You came in for a 35 minute table read and you left and went home. Tuesday and Wednesday were shorts.

[Pete Holmes]

Can't say that no Scrubs has to be long.

[Sarah Chalk]

Scrubs.

[Pete Holmes]

Scrubs.

[Sarah Chalk]

Long Scrubs in the OG days was long because that was the days of network television where it was like there was no, there was no real, like you have to be out after 12 hours, you know, like we would go 17, we would go, yeah. You know, we go into.

[Pete Holmes]

Notice there are no kids on that, on that side. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's like let's grind it, grind it. But a multi cam, 35 minute table read. Then the next day, rehearse for a few hours, bro.

[Sarah Chalk]

10 to 1.

[Pete Holmes]

Next day.

[Sarah Chalk]

Next day we pre tape a tiny bit. I think some days or something. Just rehearsal and network run through. And then Thursday was tape day which I think started like pre taping. Noon to 5. Everyone takes a dinner break, come back with the live audience. And the live audience was tight. It was like, you know, it was, they had the warm up guy and

[Pete Holmes]

then a ladder on his chin.

[Sarah Chalk]

I feel like there was totally, totally the lad on his chin. I feel like it was like, you know, we did a couple takes.

[Pete Holmes]

I know I, I believe it.

[Sarah Chalk]

And then Thursday night, and then they didn't work on Fridays anymore.

[Pete Holmes]

Unbelievable.

[Sarah Chalk]

And I would fly back to Vancouver.

[Pete Holmes]

The sweetest. It's like it belongs in history books that humanity that used to like kill a iguana with a coconut and roast it. We got so far that people would work for four hours and make $6 million.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, I didn't because I was a Canadian who had a Canadian agent that was like two years older than me. So we were like for free. Sure.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, right. But still everybody else, I mean, a lot of the people there were getting incredibly rich. It's like, I don't know, I just get lit up about rackets like that. Like, like, like I love the movie the Big Short, where they like short the house. I just love, like somebody figured this out. That's how I feel about multicam television.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, it's a big short.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a big short. I think people will watch this and we can do it in 45 minutes.

[Sarah Chalk]

Should we, should we try and do a four day week instead of a five day?

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. I mean they did that on Big Bang. They stopped doing four day. They did four day weeks, I believe. Because once you're at a certain level

[Sarah Chalk]

and it's like, it just works.

[Pete Holmes]

Everybody, we're talking about Big Bang now, everybody in that building, you know, on this, in the cast is a multi, multi, multi millionaire. And they're all just trying to go like, do I have to be here on Friday? And everyone has to be like, you know what? No, we're very sorry. Goodbye. Yeah, we're gonna make this a two day week. It's incredible. I mean, just a phenomenon. Zebraf told me to tell you about, Ask about Tom Arnold. What, what was his Z?

[Sarah Chalk]

Braff asked. I'm trying to think of what he was thinking about when he said that. I mean my.

[Pete Holmes]

She said, try to get some Tom Arnold stories out of her.

[Sarah Chalk]

My experience of Tom was that like when I first got the job, well, before I got the job, I auditioned and he called me at home and he was like, like, it's Tom Arnold here and I'm at home in Vancouver, like waiting to find out if I have the job. And I was like, hi, hi, hi, Tom Arnold.

[Pete Holmes]

You've seen True Lies. I'll hold. He stays on the line while you watch it, aren't you? Not in the rest of it, but see the whole piece.

[Sarah Chalk]

Watch it. I'll be waiting.

[Pete Holmes]

I'll be here, I'll be here.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yes, I'd like a report please, on My desk.

[Pete Holmes]

Tom Arnold was the best friend of the 90s. Like in every. It seems like every movie. He was the funny best friend friend.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. Yeah, he was. He totally. He totally was. And he was so he to me the whole time and super funny. But on the call, he was like, trying, I think, figure out if I was going to. If he hired me, if I'd be the one that would go away to school. Because Lisy had left to go to college and Sarah had left to go to college, but they. She was still in the show. Like, they would. She would come back and they would power film like a few scenes and they built sets in New York and would film a bunch there. So he was trying to. He's like, you ever gonna go to college? And I was like, no, no. Terrible.

[Pete Holmes]

You coached to say that?

[Sarah Chalk]

No, I just knew instinctively. And I also knew instinctively I was gonna go to college, but that I just wouldn't give up this opportunity. I would do it after or on the side.

[Pete Holmes]

Sorry. Thoracic park. Very good. Yeah. Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

No, no college. Gross. Absolutely not. Disgusting. Gross. Why would. I can't wait to stop with this whole school.

[Pete Holmes]

Get me in that fake kitchen.

[Sarah Chalk]

Get me on that couch with that blanket.

[Pete Holmes]

So he just sniffed you out a little bit.

[Sarah Chalk]

And I was like, no, I don't want to go to college.

[Pete Holmes]

It wasn't that, like the. Oh, go ahead, keep going.

[Sarah Chalk]

And then. And then. Yeah, and then they. They called and gave me the job. And then he was there for the next couple of years and was always. Yeah, he was always super good to me. I remember he was. My memory of him was being pretty involved. Like he was at all the tapings and I thought giving notes. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like your daughter

[Sarah Chalk]

clipboard.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Coming in, flying in some hot kind. When you said that, Sarah, what about Johnny Goodman? I mean, he seems like a national treasure. He's a legend. He's a legend.

[Sarah Chalk]

He's a legend.

[Pete Holmes]

What is this deal? Why is he so good?

[Sarah Chalk]

He. He's. And he.

[Pete Holmes]

Why is he so good?

[Sarah Chalk]

I think he's just born that way. Or does he work really hard? I don't know why he.

[Pete Holmes]

It's hard to know.

[Sarah Chalk]

Good.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, he's got that galan sort of like there's just something in the slump of his shoulders that. The way he moves.

[Sarah Chalk]

And he can make you laugh so hard, but he can also break your heart. Like when he did the, like, heartbreaking scenes. Like his. His dressing room was right beside mine. And. And. And I remember, like, you know, if we were walking at the Same time. He'd always be like, hey, kid, go luck tonight, kid. And he was just so kind to me and, like, he didn't need to do that. He need to. He didn't need to go out of his way to, like, yeah. You know, try and make me feel more comfortable. But he was. He was incredible to watch. Like, talk about. I feel like when I think back on it, that's what stands out is, like, just him and Lori both just, like, couldn't believe them because they are that kind of like Jason, Swartz, Schwartzman, tight. That true.

[Pete Holmes]

Just true actors.

[Sarah Chalk]

True actors that you just camp. Just such interesting choices and.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

Never like a fake moment.

[Pete Holmes]

I know. Have you seen Cloverfield Lane? You didn't see that? Great Goodman. Great Goodman.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Great Goodman. Are you in touch with him?

[Sarah Chalk]

No, sadly not. I mean, I have. You know, we see each other different things.

[Pete Holmes]

I understand.

[Sarah Chalk]

You know, it's always great to see when I do, but not on a regular basis. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What is it called? Is it called something? Cloverfield Lane. It doesn't matter. The Cloverfield Lane movie. 10 Cloverfield Lane. I keep sending my mail to 8 Cloverfield Lane. I've been sending it to the wrong. To the wrong movie. But he's a creepy guy. It's like. It's almost like Misery.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, that's.

[Pete Holmes]

And he's the Kathy Bates. And it's really. It'll give you the willies. It's a great movie. J. Abrams. I believe it's Jim. We don't know what.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Who directed it.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm sorry. Dan Trachtenberg. I believe Jija produced it because it's Cloverfield. But it's so good. Really, really good. Oh, this is what I was gonna ask you. We're talking about on Scrubs, acting. What's a great lesson you learned about acting in general? Like, what's something that really clicked and sort of up leveled your wonderful talent set?

[Sarah Chalk]

I feel like the letting go of caring about. About what you look like, what anyone thinks when you do something. You know, like just having like a complete, like, blank slate, kind of no self consciousness about how something might come across. I think I love that. That was probably something actually from Scrubs too. Is just like. Yeah. Just, just.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, trust the process.

[Sarah Chalk]

Trust the process.

[Pete Holmes]

Take some risks.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take risks. I guess another thing would be life experience. Kind of like there's certain things you can't actually know when you're 16 or that you can't act when you're 24. More and more like, I. You Know when you have to do a scene and you have to cry. Like, I remember on Scrubs, like, putting on my Josh Raiden sad song playlist in my ipod, you know, and you're trying to get there, and now it's like, you've lived life.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's not as hard.

[Pete Holmes]

And there I totally agree with you. I feel like I'm improving as an actor, and I. I'm not doing anything to do that other than just having more experiences. And I do feel like people that broke early often had, like. I could think of, like, Joaquin Phoenix and how brilliant he is. And I'm like, well, he had, like, a very, like, interesting life, you know, And. And. And that comes off that. I think that's what we relate to when we say, like, soul or gravitas. We're like, they've been there.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I'm saying? I think that's true.

[Sarah Chalk]

And I think some people. Yeah. Like, that have either been there earlier or had more complexity. And I think, like, that's just something that has, you know, come along with time. I think the other thing, too, is probably with comedy especially, is just actually with both. But it comes to mind with comedy is the observation. Like, I feel like so much of it is.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

Like, what I find funny is just, as you get older, just in the observing of things. Because it's. I feel like it's in the details. It's in the tiny little moments.

[Pete Holmes]

Truth.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

There was a.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

There's a writer I really like.

[Pete Holmes]

His name is Rich Talarico, and he

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

was an improviser in Chicago, and he

[Pete Holmes]

gave an interview, and he was talking about comedy. I was just absorbing everything I could about comedy. And the example he used was noticing how your mother whispers when she says the word cancer. And I was like, that's so funny. It's not funny, but it's like a detail. It's something that's real that you see people do. Then when you see somebody like Kristen Wilson wig do something like that, you're like, that's funny. Because I've seen that.

[Sarah Chalk]

Like, what? Cancer.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I mean?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You're like, it's true. Yeah. Or divorce. And you're like, why are we. They're not. But it's real. People do that.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I think that on the. On airplanes all the time. I'm just listening to regular, like, businessmen. Businessmen talk like they're in a. It's like the Shakespeare of our time. You know what I mean? It's so fake. It's like, well, I'm gonna get there a couple days early, maybe hit the links. It's like, do you know you're talking like that? Like, I feel like a child. I'm like, why are you being fake? Hug each other. You love each other.

[Sarah Chalk]

Totally.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, we could die anytime.

[Sarah Chalk]

Forget about the game.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. And that's how you're living. Well, don't get me started on the Seahawks. I'm like, wake up. You know what I mean? This is it.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

This isn't a rehearsal.

[Sarah Chalk]

This is.

[Pete Holmes]

Kiss him. I think I. I think it's all sex, but I. I feel them trying to have, like, a connection, but they have to be like, well, call me crazy, but I love a saltine. This can't be your life. This can't be your life.

[Sarah Chalk]

It is, but the problem is, it is. And I just like what you just said about, like, it's so short. Like, I think that's what I've. I turned 50 in the summer, and I feel like it's.

[Pete Holmes]

That walks in. I know. Like, he's still tracking, but I.

[Sarah Chalk]

But the math does.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no. You were 16. Oh. It was Roseanne that thought you were lying about your age. 50.

[Sarah Chalk]

But, yeah, it's like, it's so short. It's a minute.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it's a minute. Can we please have a real conversation? You're dead. You're dead. You're dead. You're already dead. And this is your day, and this is it. You can't be talking about, well, I like getting a movie in the hotel room.

[Sarah Chalk]

No. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Shut up.

[Sarah Chalk]

There's no time.

[Pete Holmes]

Call your dad and cry. Call your dad and cry.

[Sarah Chalk]

No. And then kiss him.

[Pete Holmes]

And then kiss him. You know you want to kiss him.

[Sarah Chalk]

Like, I feel like that's so. I feel like. Oh, I meant his seat partner.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Not your dad, but.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, you know what? Whatever.

[Pete Holmes]

Give your dad an appropriate little smoochie.

[Sarah Chalk]

I just feel like maybe it's. It. It. Obviously that feeling grows with you, like, every year, but I feel like so much specifically now. And maybe it's because I'm watching, like, all of my nieces and nephews graduate and leave home, and my son's 16, but it just feels like it's a minute.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, go.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's just a minute.

[Pete Holmes]

Go do it now. Have that moment with your kid that you were dreaming of today. Please.

[Sarah Chalk]

Today.

[Pete Holmes]

Just please do it today.

[Sarah Chalk]

If your shirt falls down when you're

[Pete Holmes]

talking somewhere else, there's always a manhole.

[Sarah Chalk]

There's always a manhole. There's always a manhole you can jump in it. If everything goes wrong, you did. Made a mistake. Just jump in the manhole.

[Pete Holmes]

We're almost out of time. And I love you. And I've loved every moment. We're going to do a speed round. Have you ever seen a ghost? You look. You've seen it?

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, yeah. No. I worked at Scrubs. It was an old hospital. There was a. There was a. There was a dare to get in the morgue.

[Pete Holmes]

So many ghosts. There's a what in the morgue?

[Sarah Chalk]

There was a dare to. A bet to get in the drawer in the morgue. People would hear, go in the drawer in the morgue.

[Pete Holmes]

Who did it? Braff?

[Sarah Chalk]

I thought nobody did it till recently. And I found out one crew member actually did do it towards the end. Patrick. But what did he do?

[Pete Holmes]

What did he see? Nothing.

[Sarah Chalk]

I didn't hear because. Only I haven't talked to him since.

[Pete Holmes]

He's still in there.

[Sarah Chalk]

Months ago. He's still in the drawer. So. Yes. And there was, like. You could hear gurney's going back and forth. Apparently security guards at night said they would hear the gurneys going back and forth on the hallways at night. So. Yes. The answer is yes.

[Pete Holmes]

But what did you see?

[Sarah Chalk]

What did I see?

[Pete Holmes]

No ghosts. Just stories of ghosts.

[Sarah Chalk]

Stories. Stories. I feel like it's one of those things where, like, once that conversation started, then you'd be like, all of our dressing rooms were old hospital rooms. You'd start to wonder, like, what happened. So then I don't know if I just felt the ghost because there was so much discussion over it.

[Pete Holmes]

It's hard to know if it's the feeling of a ghost or just Zach or just.

[Sarah Chalk]

Exactly. Just him.

[Pete Holmes]

Just, like, leering.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Lumen just hanging. Hanging out.

[Sarah Chalk]

Who knows?

[Pete Holmes]

Picture Dax. Take it down a notch. Just kidding. I'm just. I think I'm having fun knowing that Zach will listen to this, so. I love. I love trying to tickle. What a. What a good and fair man. Fair.

[Sarah Chalk]

Fair. Fair.

[Pete Holmes]

Have you ever seen a ufo, Bow?

[Sarah Chalk]

I have not, but I.

[Pete Holmes]

You're on the lookout.

[Sarah Chalk]

I. I will see one.

[Pete Holmes]

You seem like the kind that. It's like, let's. Let's show her the Dorito in this guy.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's coming.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's coming. It's coming. It's definitely coming.

[Pete Holmes]

I also respect your lack of aerodynamicism. Lack of a dynam dynamicism.

[Sarah Chalk]

Totally.

[Pete Holmes]

They're like, that one gets us. Yeah. Yeah. She also shouldn't be able to move.

[Sarah Chalk]

They also have a. Obviously not. Same wingspan to Height.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Sarah Chalk]

They have very long arms.

[Pete Holmes]

So the grays.

[Sarah Chalk]

I probably.

[Pete Holmes]

You're a gray.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

At least part 50 shades of gray. Second mention.

[Sarah Chalk]

That's right back around.

[Pete Holmes]

Right back around.

[Sarah Chalk]

Eight shades of orange.

[Pete Holmes]

And then what about the meaning of life? Do you have any sort of framework for what's going on here?

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, man, I really. I hope that this isn't all there is. I hope we get a couple trips.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, okay.

[Sarah Chalk]

Hope we get a few trips. Hope we get a lot of trips.

[Pete Holmes]

A lot of trips.

[Sarah Chalk]

A lot of trips. To work things out.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

To figure out the stuff we didn't figure out in this lifetime.

[Pete Holmes]

Learn those less.

[Sarah Chalk]

Learn those last.

[Pete Holmes]

Onto hospital.

[Sarah Chalk]

You're a fellow of briefs.

[Pete Holmes]

Loving a brief.

[Sarah Chalk]

I love in a brief.

[Pete Holmes]

Zebraf.

[Sarah Chalk]

Zb.

[Pete Holmes]

Zebra, Zebra, zebra, zebra.

[Sarah Chalk]

From now on. From now on. That's all doing. I'm to call them. Yeah. My kids are always like, mom, you can't. There's no word you can say. I'm like, I don't have the time.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they like it, too. So where's a T?

[Sarah Chalk]

They do. They do. What's the is?

[Pete Holmes]

What's the is?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Get in line, Bish.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I like it.

[Pete Holmes]

Do you think when you die, it's over? I mean, we got ghosts in the Scrubs hospital, so it seems like maybe we.

[Sarah Chalk]

I don't. I do not. I do not want to think that.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I do not want to be honesty.

[Sarah Chalk]

I do not want to think that. I don't want to think that. There's part of me. If I'm being completely honest, that kind of does. And I do not want to think that. I believe in so many things that would counter that. So I. I'm a very strong man, a believer in manifesting. I. And I. I do wish and hope that we. Yeah. That we get.

[Pete Holmes]

How does that happen in your life? You're manifesting.

[Sarah Chalk]

I.

[Pete Holmes]

Vision board. You got a vision?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, I got a vision. I got a VB I got a VB Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Still out there.

[Sarah Chalk]

VB in it all the time. Every year.

[Pete Holmes]

Are you. You're why they rebooted it.

[Sarah Chalk]

I am. It's true.

[Pete Holmes]

Did you.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. You didn't have a boot? No, I did. What I did was I said I'd worked on a show that I loved, but I had to die of cancer in it, and I had to cry, like, six times a day. And I said, I want to do a comedy, like Scrub. I want to do a Comedy next. I want to do a comedy like Scrubs that felt like Scrubs that shoots in Vancouver.

[Pete Holmes]

You shut it.

[Sarah Chalk]

And that was two years before it happened.

[Pete Holmes]

You shut it down.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's for real.

[Pete Holmes]

Somewhere. Bill Lawrence was like, okay, cancel the nine HBO shows. I'm going to Peacock. Is it on Peacock?

[Sarah Chalk]

It's on Hulu.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm going to Hulu.

[Sarah Chalk]

ABC and abc. Yes, yes.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, who makes more shows than Bill?

[Sarah Chalk]

Nobody. And they're all good. I love all of them.

[Pete Holmes]

But he got a chill that day and he was like, I gotta do it.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. And I gotta do it in Vancouver. And it's gotten to the point now where I, I, I get worried about saying things out loud because I'm like, I think it's going to happen. Like my, I get requests now. My niece, one of my nieces, like, I want a boyfriend. I get you just out there granting wishes. I'm just grant wishes. I burnt an abundance kit.

[Pete Holmes]

You burnt an abundance kit?

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What does that mean?

[Sarah Chalk]

I don't know. I just founded something, said abundance kit, and you burn it and you say what you want. I'm like, I'll do that. Yeah, sure, Great. I'll do it. I've manifested. But it started. It's not a recent thing. Like, I. Did you ever do the artist way?

[Pete Holmes]

I did morning pages. I never really did the whole way.

[Sarah Chalk]

I did.

[Pete Holmes]

I didn't go the whole way.

[Sarah Chalk]

You didn't go the whole artist's way.

[Pete Holmes]

Thank you. Thank you for finishing the book. I really appreciate it.

[Sarah Chalk]

I, I did it when I was like 23 and I pretty much wrote down exactly scrubs at the end of it. And then that happened a couple months later.

[Pete Holmes]

You mean I want to be on an ensemble comedy with a zebra?

[Sarah Chalk]

With one zebra.

[Pete Holmes]

With one zebra.

[Sarah Chalk]

And I was like, I just want to, I want to do. I wish I could. Well, you know what's interesting for our next conversation? One day, Pete, I did find my morning pages recently, which is another thing I said out loud. We're talking about the artist's way. I said, I wish I could just find my morning pages. Cut to two weeks later, cleaning up the garage, found the morning pages. This just happened. I haven't read them, but I'd be curious if it was in there that had the, like, I remember writing it out like a comedy that feels different and, and kind of wrote out very similar to a lot of the Shins. Josh Raiden. We'll call in hay.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Sarah Chalk]

And I mean, you did it, Little Toto. And, and I Did it.

[Pete Holmes]

It's amazing. So you're out there, Festin.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, I'm Festin. So, yeah, I still. I definitely believe Festin.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm gonna call you Coachella.

[Sarah Chalk]

Wait, am I gonna be Coachella? Is that my new nickname from now on?

[Pete Holmes]

You know, Chella. Why do you call her Chella? Because she's Festin. What does that mean? She's manifest.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's a nickname that. That takes. It's. It's. It's a long way around the block, but it's going to be worth it.

[Pete Holmes]

Just what does that mean? Means carry on.

[Sarah Chalk]

It means carry on.

[Pete Holmes]

What does that mean? It means carry on.

[Sarah Chalk]

Keep calm and Carry on and. Keep calm and. Carry on. Mom.

[Pete Holmes]

Keep calm and carry on. For the picture of Trinity.

[Sarah Chalk]

For the picture of Trinity. Cella. Cella Cello, which I like. I played the cello for seven years and one of my new goals is to relearn it. So then I will have another use for the nickname Ch Chala. Because I'll be chilling cello.

[Pete Holmes]

What do you want to do? What is Scrubby's rebooties coming back? Ease.

[Sarah Chalk]

We will find out any minute. Like maybe if I turn on my phone.

[Pete Holmes]

Do it. What if you got it, make it happen.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, got it.

[Pete Holmes]

I feel like it is. Here's why.

[Sarah Chalk]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Sometimes when I'm on stage, I ask people what they're watching because I like that more than what do you do? And people be saying scrubs a lot.

[Sarah Chalk]

They do be saying scrubs much. This.

[Pete Holmes]

So I mean, so it's to say it at a comedy club. It's not just I'm watching. It's like I know everyone's watching it. That's my little crowd source. Okay, we'll take my little data.

[Sarah Chalk]

We'll take it. Well, it was just so much fun and I would love to do more because it's like, yeah, there's nothing quite obviously, you know this. Like you want to try everything and do all the different things so you're never getting bored. But there's something specifically great about being on a comedy set that is not replicable that I love so much.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I. To do a little cellen myself. Like to be on an ensemble comedy.

[Sarah Chalk]

Like I've done look like Festin's now just become cellon. So now it's

[Pete Holmes]

ch It. I just like something that I would love to do is be on something where you're funny and there's. There's something that I think is very like, like always sunny, where there's bloopers, where people are messing up and breaking and you're together and you're doing it all together. Other and honestly, like having written a show and acted on it, having someone else, like a Bill Lawrence writing it. I mean, I like being involved and improving or riffing or whatever, pitching. But having someone else write it. It's just you and your friends in a fake hospital that's haunted.

[Sarah Chalk]

Crazy. And then having people like Vanessa Bayer come in.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, you chelled it around.

[Sarah Chalk]

And then she's like, talk about like just, you know, breaking and.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, and.

[Sarah Chalk]

And then having to, you know, in your own head be like, get together. Everyone has a family, everyone wants to go home. Like, when it's that bad that you actually don't know if you're going to be able to do it when you're laughing that hard that you're like, I actually don't know that. We'll get this. That's my.

[Pete Holmes]

That's all I want. It's all I want. There's a scene in Crashing where this guy, David Jeskow, kept wrapping his towel higher and higher on his body. And I've thought about it since. I've thought about it for 10 years. I'm like, I don't even know if he did it to be funny. Which made it funnier. Like, maybe that's just where he wears his towel. So he's coming out of the shower. I start dying laughing. Because I think it's this big choice. It's above his belly button. But then I think I'm like, again, Jessica, I don't know. That might just be like what middle aged guys do. I don't know. My towel keeps creeping up. That's all I'll say.

[Sarah Chalk]

This is 10 years ago. So you didn't know?

[Pete Holmes]

No, I'm in my 30s, so I'm like, that's funny. I'm dying. There's a scene, it's also like three in the morning. It's a Sarah Silverman episode. And I'm watching. If you watch it now, my eyes are red and there's tears in them. It's a normal scene. I'm supposed to be like, I'm gonna go to bed. And you can tell I was weeping. Weeping with laughter. It made the show. There's no reason I should be the like, goodbye. Me, Steve Agee and Jeskow. And we were dying because of his towel. And now the twist, the funniest twist is thinking about it later and being like, I don't think he was doing it to be funny.

[Sarah Chalk]

But you needed another decade under your Belt to know that, like, oh, maybe

[Pete Holmes]

that's under my very high belt.

[Sarah Chalk]

Under my high towel belt.

[Pete Holmes]

Keeps going up. I mean, it was almost a boob cover. It was like so high.

[Sarah Chalk]

Just. Just south of boob.

[Pete Holmes]

But he's also like going on hbo, showing his body. Maybe he wanted more coverage, but to us. Yeah. God, that was one of the best. So you. You chilling good?

[Sarah Chalk]

I. I mean, it was some. It was some super.

[Pete Holmes]

You're picking the right chilling, though. Yeah. You could be chelling some awful shit.

[Sarah Chalk]

I could be. I know, but that's kind of the worry, I think. Why am I even saying that out loud? Is that if it's that powerful connection, man, you got to be careful what you tell.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. Cause that's not going on the vish.

[Pete Holmes]

Because the things.

[Sarah Chalk]

You only put the good stuff on the vis.

[Pete Holmes]

You can't help it. It's like getting a song stuck in your really wanted. So you get. You get that static in there and you're like, oh, destitute or whatever. Never work again. That's just not that compelling. Just stick with the good chills and you'll just keep chilling.

[Sarah Chalk]

Do you chill a lot? Do you vision?

[Pete Holmes]

I don't really chow. I. I like holding things in my heart. That's what I'll say. I like to say I. You don't get everything you manifest, but everything you got, you manifested, if that makes sense.

[Sarah Chalk]

Oh, yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

[Pete Holmes]

Because I can't really dishearten. There have been times in my life where like, I didn't have a lot going on. I was like, I'm going to make like a vision board. It's going to be the wallpaper on my phone. None of it happened.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'll just be like that. I'm much more. I'll try to do nine things constantly. So Eugene, who was just on. You saw him on the way out. We were talking about this. You try to do nine things. You're developing a show, you're writing a movie, you're doing a book, you're doing this, all this different stuff. And two of them will happen. But I can't get too magical about it because I. I'll. I've just seen it not work. And then I have to trust something bigger that I'm not really in control

[Sarah Chalk]

of, but that I feel is like. I was talking about this the other day with my friends, like, you know, because just watching your kids try over things, some of they get. Some of they don't like, we, everything we learn, like, it is so trite, but, like, you learn way more from failure than you do from success. So it's all those things that we didn't get. Yeah, that's where all of the growing is happening. And like, I don't wish for my kids to get everything that they try for to. To get what they want. Like, there's no growth in that. And like, I look back on the things that I vished that haven't happened and like. Yeah, you see why you're like, oh, that's why that didn't happen.

[Pete Holmes]

No, you're absolutely right. In fact, now that I'm thinking back on what I was vision, it wasn't the right stuff. I just watched the documentary, Lauren, about Lorne Michaels, and I realized I was like, oh, my God, this is the first SNL thing I've seen where I wasn't deeply jealous that I was never on snl. I was like, this is growth.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I realized that that wasn't. Wasn't my path. Yeah, that's okay. And even that, like, chip on my shoulder defined and drove me to do other things. So that's beautiful. It's all in the game.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's all.

[Pete Holmes]

It's okay. And, And Vanessa Bear is on snl. That's. That's correct. You know what I mean? That's okay. You don't have to do everything and, and the.

[Sarah Chalk]

It. It's. You don't do everything. And so much of it doesn't make sense until. Until hindsight. Like, Scrubs was my favorite job of my life and I never would have have gotten it. I had come down to la. The pilot season before was my first pilot season. I was down here by myself for a couple months. I rented a salsa dance teacher's apartment and I slept there at night. She touched. Taught salsa there during the day. And I tested for seven things and where you, you go the, you go the distance and you do six auditions and you sign the contract every time

[Pete Holmes]

you see the money and you.

[Sarah Chalk]

And yeah, and you're like, this is life changing. And I didn't get any of them. And then the very last one I got, and it was a show shooting in Vancouver.

[Pete Holmes]

Tested for seven things and didn't get any of them.

[Sarah Chalk]

And then the last thing I got, it was. Well, it was wild because you ride that emotional roller coaster. And it was at a time where, like, when you're auditioning every day, your agency is sending you a script and there's no email, you're driving to Go pick it up. And then you drive home to learn it. And then another agent from the agency sends you something and you drive to go get and drive home. So you're. And there's, there's no ways. You're on the Thomas Guide, flipping the map, you know, 800 pages. So it was a wild few months. But at the end of that, I got the last thing I auditioned for, which was shooting in Vancouver. And I get my car. I had to be there by Monday morning. And I over drove my car and broke down in Seattle. The car broke, breaks down. I called my agent and he's like, hey, Sarah, so the job you got, they're gonna go with their second choice. And so you actually. Thanks for driving home so fast, but you didn't get it. And I was like, what? And it was like, I just felt like this few month, you know, kind of saga coming to this moment of like breaking down the car in Seattle and finding out and I don't know, that show went like a few episodes and got canceled. And I got scrubs in that time. Like I would never have.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Sarah Chalk]

I wouldn't have gotten it. It changed my life to get it.

[Pete Holmes]

And what was the name of the other show?

[Sarah Chalk]

It was called Big Sounds, was a Canadian series.

[Pete Holmes]

Series. Wow. Big Sounds. Big Dodge. I can't believe that. That reminds Dave Coulier. Canadian.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Did this show got like. He was in line to do snl. They went with Dana Carvey. He was totally bummed that week. Full House. Like, I, I. Those stories are fun.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I love that you have one. That's incredible.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah. Yeah. It was just that like, moment of like, you know, you just feel like. Especially since it had like such a crazy lead up of a few months of trying and then. But yeah,

[Pete Holmes]

it's like all those things that bring you down. It's like digging into this hole. But there's something about it. Like the deeper you're in it, like sometimes the higher you shoot out or, or maybe it's like pulling the bow back on a. On a bow. The string back on a bow.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait, didn't I call you Bo earlier? There was something.

[Sarah Chalk]

They call me. I called you Trinity.

[Pete Holmes]

There's been a lot of stuff.

[Sarah Chalk]

There's been a lot. There's been a lot of stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's get the out of here. You can say that on the show.

[Sarah Chalk]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. People love it. People love it. People love it. You know who loves it? Your kids.

[Pete Holmes]

People love swearing.

[Sarah Chalk]

Your kids.

[Pete Holmes]

My daughter was on the trampoline. She Goes, can I say the F word? I'm like, hell yeah. She goes. And I was like, this is awesome.

[Sarah Chalk]

It's. It's so cute. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

We were smoking cigarettes. It was.

[Sarah Chalk]

It was the best. It was the best. My kids like my kids. It's really cute when you hear your young kids wear for the first time.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my daughter goes like this. Jesus. And we're like, she hasn't heard us say that. I don't know where she got that. Probably season one of Roseanne.

[Sarah Chalk]

Probably.

[Pete Holmes]

Probably.

[Sarah Chalk]

You need to write down. She's seven. You need to write down everything she says right now. Because I have a note section in my phone and I just like, you think you're going to remember all of it? You don't. And I look back at it and

[Pete Holmes]

I'm like, I know, I know. We do. We have a shared file.

[Sarah Chalk]

You have a share file. Cuz it's so cute.

[Pete Holmes]

It's too good.

[Sarah Chalk]

I was going through it the other day and I had forgotten about this when I had met my boyfriend. And the first time my daughter met him, she said, my mom's crazy and she farts all the time.

[Pete Holmes]

And I was like, thank you. Why? Would you just get it out of the way?

[Sarah Chalk]

Why? Why?

[Pete Holmes]

My mom's crazy. I'm not done. She farts all the time. Good luck.

[Sarah Chalk]

Good luck. Have fun. Yeah. So just. Just write it all down.

[Pete Holmes]

We will. You're out of time. You got a 2:30 outies. We're done.

[Sarah Chalk]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Would you say thank you. Loved meeting you. Thank you for being on the show. Watch Scrubs. It's on Hulu. You can also watch it on.

[Sarah Chalk]

I misunderstood. I thought you were giving me a list of things to say and I was like, I've got it yet? Got it.

[Pete Holmes]

No, you don't have to say thank you.

[Sarah Chalk]

Thank you. Loved you. Thank you for being on the show abc. Abc.

[Pete Holmes]

And then all you have to say is. Is how we end is the guest says, keep it crispy. Would you say keep it crispy for us?

[Sarah Chalk]

Keep it crispy.

[Pete Holmes]

Loving it. Great.