You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Episode: Steph Tolev
Date: August 6, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode features comedian Steph Tolev, whose new Netflix special "Filth Queen" is out now. Pete and Steph dive into the unique strangeness that makes each comic tick, openly riffing on bodily functions, stand-up comedy, the AVN porn awards, trolls (online and IRL), Canadian showbiz, and the discomforts of life – all served up with quick wit and mutual admiration.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter & Compliments

• Pete sets a playful, unfiltered tone with Steph by immediately talking about bodily humor, ("Magic Mind" drink joke, bathroom humor) [01:11–02:00].
• Pete praises Steph's comedic style, describing her work as “a delightful, bouncy house of chuckles” and “very lean, very quick” [05:26].
• Steph reveals she only watched two specials in preparation for hers – and Pete’s was one [02:58].

"Your comedy is kind of like, in a very good way... it's like tripping over itself. Not too fast, but not slow, just bouncing."
— Pete Holmes [04:30]

2. Bill Burr and Getting a Special

• Both discuss how Bill Burr’s support paved the way for Steph’s Netflix special [03:10].
• Pete relays a story about Burr’s awkwardly delivered but meaningful praise [03:22–03:57].

"He's so reluctant to say nice things... but he will."
— Pete Holmes [03:38]

3. Comedy, Filth, and Confidence

• Appreciative exchange about each other's ability to go “gross” and the liberation of not censoring oneself on stage [15:44–16:07].
• Discussion about audience perceptions: people regularly mistake Steph for being gay because of her confidence and mullet (she’s not) [11:04–11:46].

"I think you're so confident—Is that an attribute of lesbians?"
— Pete Holmes [11:23]
"I think so. Confidence and, I don't know, boldness—I get. And the hair. It is the mullet."
— Steph Tolev [11:30]

4. Bodily Humor & Filth, AKA Steph’s Sweet Spot

• Jokes abound about urethras, hairy nips, drinking pee (with reference to wellness fads and Nikki Glaser), and the prudishness of language [06:07–08:44].

"People are selling pee. People are drinking their own pee every morning."
— Steph Tolev [06:41]
"There's no scientific evidence to support drinking urine having any health benefits."
— ChatGPT, via Pete [08:31]

5. AVN Porn Awards & The Reality of Porn

• Steph’s experience hosting the AVN Awards: the community is surprisingly supportive and positive compared to “bitchy” comedy awards [20:07–22:34].
• Discussion about porn as art, piracy, and why industry professionals seldom get protected or compensated for their work [30:23–32:38].

"Every single thing you see in a porn, there's an award...Best blow job. Best anal. It's crazy."
— Steph Tolev [20:51]

"Nobody cares what this guy [porn hosting site owner] is doing. No president could run on 'I will get money for these milfs.'”
— Pete Holmes [32:18]

6. Fitness, Body Image, and Canadian Upbringing

• Steph discusses losing weight, stress about her special not getting into Netflix’s Top 10, and the lack of support from Canadian media despite her being only the fourth Canadian comic with a Netflix hour [46:07–76:18].
• Commentary on Toronto and Canadian comics, including shout-outs to Adam Christie [76:41].
• Pete and Steph swap diet & exercise talk, riffing on digestive woes, “roids,” and “regular girl” fiber supplements [62:25–64:08].

"In Canada, the arts aren’t celebrated or pushed at all. I'm the fourth Canadian ever to have an hour on Netflix... I can't even get a writeup in the Globe and Mail."
— Steph Tolev [74:56–75:24]

7. Crowd Work, Riffing, and Comedy Craft

• Both discuss their approaches to crowd work, riffing, and the difference between improvising and classic crowd work [54:50–57:17].
• Steph feels she uses crowd work as a crutch lately, with audience now often oversharing or trying to shock [55:00–56:13].

"I almost use it as a crutch now because I'm not writing as much as I should..."
— Steph Tolev [57:02]

8. Touring, Bombing, and Comedian Solidarity

• Honest takes on touring: both love Thursday crowds, hate late Saturday shows, and agree having a good opener/sidekick transforms the experience [49:17–79:50].
• Discussion of travel pet peeves, like “the me-ification of culture leading to more farting on airplanes” and general airport grossness [79:19–80:09].

9. Misogynistic Online Trolls & The Reality of Women in Comedy

• Steph describes near-daily trolling by men on Facebook and Instagram, mostly targeting her looks, sexuality, and confidence – frequently by “dads with family photos” [85:09–86:14].
• Pete and Steph dissect why strong women draw anger, linking it to entrenched misogyny [86:06–87:17].

"Every day I wake up, I open my phone to: I’m ugly, I’m trans, my nose is Toucan Sam... Over and over."
— Steph Tolev [85:12]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On porn industry hypocrisy:

  "A Home Depot commercial I did, I still get a check. That [porn] looks harder."
  — Pete Holmes [32:20]

• On Canadian media neglect:

  "Not a single newspaper. Nothing. I was on the front page of LA Times entertainment, can’t get a write-up in the Globe and Mail."
  — Steph Tolev [75:18]

• On dying and staying present:

  "I should be happy with what I have now... I'm happy he's here. I'm happy I'm coming to the podcast today."
  — Steph Tolev [95:15]

• On finding purpose and connection:

  "Maybe the meaning of life is to give back—to people—and make people feel good."
  — Steph Tolev [97:46]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:11] – Magic Mind, Drink Jokes & Early Banter
• [02:58] – Steph’s Special Prep: Watching Pete’s Special
• [03:10] – Bill Burr and Getting a Netflix Special
• [05:26] – Pete’s Dissection of Steph’s Comedy Style
• [11:04] – Stereotypes, Confidence, and the Mullet
• [15:44] – Going Gross on Stage, Opening the “Filthy” Comedy Door
• [20:07] – Steph Hosts the AVN Awards
• [30:23] – Porn, Piracy, and Societal Hypocrisy
• [46:07] – Steph’s Anxiety Over Netflix Rankings & Canadian Obscurity
• [54:50] – Comedy Craft: Crowd Work and Improvisation
• [62:25] – Digestive Woes & Fiber Rituals
• [79:19] – Touring, Bombing, Travel Disgust
• [85:09] – Extreme Online Trolling, Sexism, and Misogyny in Comedy
• [95:06] – Late Night Anxiety and Finding Meaning in Life
• [99:58] – Stories of Connection Beyond Death
• [101:53] – The Joke that Made Steph Want to Do Stand-Up: Richard Belzer Piano Bit

Highlight: Steph’s Favorite Stand-Up Moment

"Richard Belzer... The crowd is going crazy, he goes, 'I'd love to play, I can't play the piano,' and then stands up. It was the funniest stand-up thing I've ever seen."
— Steph Tolev [102:20]

Closing Thoughts

Pete and Steph’s conversation is a testament to comedic camaraderie: quick, candid, and unafraid to swing between the filthy, the sincere, and the subversively silly. Whether discussing the lack of respect for adult performers, the challenges of being a woman in comedy, or just the eternal pain of persistent hemorrhoids, they find laughs—and meaning—in every crevice of life.

"There's a gift in a free person... reporting back on your experience joyfully, without fear, is itself a message."
— Pete Holmes [97:48]

Steph’s Special "Filth Queen" is streaming now on Netflix.

Closing:
Steph: "Keep it crispy." [103:44]

For full tour dates: peteholmes.com. For more on Steph: check out her special and catch her on social media (if she hasn’t blocked you yet).