We Made It Weird #156

Summary

Podcast Summary: We Made It Weird #156

Podcast: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Hosts: Pete Holmes, Val, Christina P.
Date: October 27, 2023

Overview

This episode of "We Made It Weird" is a heartfelt, insightful, and humor-filled discussion between Pete Holmes, his wife Val, and guest Christina P. The trio explore the hidden "secret weirdness" everyone carries, with a special focus on the quirks of family dynamics, the yearning for connection, parenting, their own emotional growth, and a deep dive into spirituality and self-awareness—especially through the lens of their recent experience seeing non-duality teacher Rupert Spira live.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

Secret Family Weirdness and Yearning for Connection

• Pete and Christina share stories about struggling to find genuinely meaningful gifts for their parents, reflecting a deeper yearning for connection beneath surface-level interactions.
• Pete reflects on seeing aspects of his parents in pop culture (like Carrie Fisher in When Harry Met Sally) as a doorway to compassion:
  • "That's the fastest way I can access compassion for my folks... to think of my mom trying on sunglasses and being not sure." (11:30, Pete)
• The hosts mull over the “impenetrable” personalities of their parents, questioning how much inner life remains unseen beneath their surface presentations.

Vulnerability & Gift-Giving Fails

• Christina recounts buying her dad a captain’s hat for a boat he never used, bumping up against the oddity and unpredictability of what “lands” emotionally in families (19:30).
• Pete notes, “there’s this little sonar ping of, like, and hopefully... I love you, I’m pa... What’s important to you is exciting to me.” (26:44)

Parenting & What It Means to Love

• The trio discusses letting their daughter Leela watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and what’s behind her fascination with violence and strength—leading to the larger point:
  • "She wants to feel like she can fight her way through..." (28:12, Christina P.)
  • Pete relates this to adults’ consumption of action movies: “It’s me going, like, look at our capacity for change." (28:26)
• Christina shares a moving story of affirming her daughter’s interests: “What you love is important to me.” Leela lights up with the recognition and love (31:46–32:09).

Spirituality, Self-Awareness & The Nature of Perception

The Rupert Spira Retreat (46:11+)

• Pete and Val describe attending a one-day session with Advaita (non-duality) teacher Rupert Spira, whose teachings focus on direct experience of awareness:
  • "I didn’t come to learn from my master. I came to watch him tie his shoes." (47:13, Pete)
• Rupert consistently responds to questions with calmness and grace, even playfully dodging a persistent question about "what makes you upset" and gently redirecting a disruptive attendee:
  • "Let’s go to your second question." (48:44, Rupert, via Pete)
  • "Yeah, I have no quarrel with you." (50:20, Rupert, via Pete) – a moment Pete calls “badass Gandalf.”
• Highlights the challenge for spiritual teachers: “He is sort of...0.01% doing crowd work.” (49:53, Pete)

Key Teaching: Vedantic vs. Tantric Approaches to Emotions

• Spira distinguishes between Vedantic (distancing from emotions; “I am not my depression”) and Tantric (moving toward and loving emotions) strategies:
  • "You can only see something if there’s a slight distance between you. But if you get so close to it, you can no longer see it because you have merged with it." (59:06, Rupert, paraphrased)
  • Uses the metaphor of boxers (retreat or collapse into a clinch) and the Princess and the Frog—“you have to kiss it” for transformation (64:20–65:05).

The Nature of Self, Forgetting, and Existence

• Addresses why we “forget” our true nature:
  • "The eternal is in love with time. So infinite consciousness can't do anything but give itself completely to manifestation..." (66:13, Rupert, paraphrased by Christina P.)
  • Suffering and immersion are understood as sacrifices that consciousness makes for the joy and depth of lived experience (67:06).

The Pathless Path & No-Self

• Pete shares his personal epiphany: in a moment of mild crisis (near-choking), he experiences that “I don’t have a life, I only have this moment.” (74:12–77:28)
  • Describes how realizing "no self, no problem" allows him to drop defenses and experience genuine peace (79:50–80:20).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On family vulnerability:

  "It’s helpful to think of my mom trying on sunglasses and being not sure...that softness really helps...it’s like two sometimes scary people being vulnerable.” (11:09–12:30, Pete & Christina P.)

• On gifts that don’t land:

  “He just looked at the hat, so confused. And I had to be like, it’s for your boat when you’re on your boat...and he’s like, oh, yeah.” (20:03, Christina P.)

• On recognizing and supporting a child’s passion:

  “Because you love it, and what you love is important to me.” (31:46, Christina P.)

• Rupert Spira on happiness:

  “If you are happy in your life, then I would recommend you do nothing different.” (56:32, Rupert, via Pete)

• On merging with emotion:

  “If you get so close to it, you can no longer see it because you have merged with it.” (59:06, Rupert, via Christina P.)

• On suffering and forgetting:

  “It’s not a mistake. It’s a sacrifice that infinite consciousness, you, who you are, pays a price to get to experience all this stuff.” (67:06, Rupert, via Christina P.)

• On the present moment and death:

  “When we die, that will be in the present moment...I don’t have a life, I only have this moment.” (74:12–77:28, Pete)

• On peace:

  “You don’t have a life. It’s beautiful. You are life. That’s peace.” (80:20, Pete)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Family weirdness and inner worlds: 10:40–14:00
• Gift-giving and yearning for connection: 15:27–20:00
• Parenting, love, and sharing passions: 27:01–32:09
• Pop culture musings – action movies & John Wick: 28:26–30:23
• Attending the Rupert Spira retreat: 46:11–47:13
• Rupert’s crowd work and masterful redirection: 48:44–50:20
• Vedanta vs. Tantra in handling emotions: 58:12–59:48
• Boxers, frogs, and emotional alchemy metaphors: 63:29–65:05
• Why we ‘forget’ and the mystical embrace of suffering: 66:07–68:00
• ‘No self, no problem’: Pete’s hot tub epiphany: 74:12–80:27

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Final Thoughts & Closing

The episode closes with Pete expressing gratitude for his Netflix special's reception and reflecting on the balance between the highs of “show business” and genuine, simple moments. The prevailing tone is open-hearted, philosophical, and funny—marked by a willingness to sit in both the beauty and weirdness of ordinary life. Whether addressing spirituality, parenting, or just fart jokes, the group consistently returns to themes of presence, acceptance, and the fundamental weirdness that connects us all.

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Key Takeaway:
This episode offers a vulnerable, wise, and very funny meditation on family, love, and spiritual inquiry—reminding listeners that what we seek is always present in the now, and that embracing our own and others’ weirdness is central to connection and peace.

Transcript

[Val]

You made it weird. You made it weird. You made it weird. Oh, yeah. You made it weird. Made it weird.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes, you did. Made it weird. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

[Christina P]

What's happening, weirdos?

[Pete Holmes]

What's happening, weirdos? What's happening? Before we did this pod, you played me the most beautiful song you've written. And I think it informed and enriched our conversation. And I'm honored to live with you. Oh, it was so beautiful. And what a great. Appreciate that chat. It birthed and it's funny. I'm feeling kind of like some anxiety, some panic. We got deep towards the end. It was really beautiful. But sometimes your body has to catch up.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

The ideas.

[Christina P]

Oh, you said beautiful things.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that helps. Sony, who's all Great show. Great show. Glad you're here. Petehomes.com for tour dates. Netflix special is out now. People are finding it. People are watching it. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. And if you like the show, why not support the show by trying a pizza pig? Maybe get some for some loved ones for the holidays. Roll those pizza pics.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

A lot of comments on my hair.

[Pete Holmes]

It's true.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

In the Netflix special, looking good hair. And I gotta tell you, like, I'm not even reading the ad yet. Modern mammals is a game changer when it comes to my hair routine. It used to be if I wanted my hair to look good for something, I would wash it for at least two days, maybe more. Three, four days. And then at one point, my hairdresser and friend Kat was like, your hair is gross. It looks good, but it's gross. You need to clean it.

[Pete Holmes]

So I was hoping that there would.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Be a non shampoo shampoo solution that would clean your hair but not make it look like a bale of hay that just came out of the dryer. Unruly, all over the place and brittle. And that's exactly what modern mammals is. No lie, no joke. I found it on Instagram. I tried it once. I reached out to them. I was like, we gotta partner up. This stuff is a game changer. It's a non shampoo shampoo. And over 40,000 guys have switched to this instead of traditional shampoo.

[Pete Holmes]

You got to see the reviews for this product.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

They're insane. Guys don't get this excited about anything. It blows my mind. Once you use it like me, you're hooked.

[Pete Holmes]

Hooked for life.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

There's no other shampoo. You can't go back. And it's a small punk rock grassroots company. These guys were just fed up with shampoo frying their hair and set out to create something actually new to help men with their hair to look good specifically for guys. They have bars for the no plastic and the no fragrance version and they also have bottles for the more traditional shampoo style. It's like a magic gray mud that you run into your hair, rinse it out, gives you a great feeling look, gives you that wave. It gives you that body. Doesn't dry it out. It makes your hair clean but look like you didn't wash it. I mean that's a miracle. That's a straight up miracle. I also love the fragrance. I love that it makes my hair every single time perfect. Six seconds a day.

[Pete Holmes]

Perfect hair.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I used it before my special I use it before everything I'm going to do for the rest of my for the remainder of my days to get JRR Tolkien about it. Modern mammals.com weird. Where you can get a special combo and try both products, the bar and the bottle for 44 bucks. That's modern mammals.com weird. Support your hair. Get that wave. Support the show. Really love them. Speaking of Pete specs that I'm super excited about. First person is an absolute mind body game changer. They are helping my life. They're helping Val's life by helping us naturally produce more oxytocin than the feel good hormone and dopamine which is a motivating feel good hormone. Incredible, incredible stuff. And what is it when I have to explain first person to somebody in five seconds I go, it's mushrooms. It's mushrooms that are specifically targeted to dial into your body to boost that good mood, feeling, energy, mood sleep. First person has got you covered. Golden hour is the one I started with. Helps me tune into a sense of joy, connection and relax relaxed presence. I love taking it in conjunction with Sunbeam which maximizes productivity and creative activities by tuning in to be an inspired focused mindset by helping boost your the body's natural production boost that of dopamine. So you're spiking your dopamine, you're peaking your oxytocin. It's incredible to find this natural hack, this biohack. It is incredible. And moonlight I take every night to help me stay in sleep deep restorative sleep by helping the GABA neurotransmitter to relax the central nervous system preparing the brain for body and sleep. They're meant to be stacked and I stack them, take them together, get that motivating feeling and that well being feeling. It's 100% grain free organic mushrooms. They're also in really cool containers and they look really cool as well. And they're a highly curated blend of nurse articles. First Person is a game changer. Start improving your brain, health and cognition with first person. Get 20% off your first order by going to get firstperson.com and use promo code Weird. Support your mind.

[Pete Holmes]

Support the show.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

First person. There's no going back. It's amazing. These statements, I have to say, they have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Get into it. Get firstperson.com and use promo code Weird.

[Pete Holmes]

All right, everybody, enjoy this wonderful chat. We're so glad you're here. Thanks for spending this time with us. Hope to see you in Bloomington, Chicago, D.C. and Brea Improv here in California. Go to PeteHomes.com Please watch I Am not for Everyone on Netflix and Val.

[Christina P]

Get into it.

[Pete Holmes]

KBBL BBL in the morning. Podcasting, podcasting, podcasting, podcast. The more things change, the more they stay the same. People are just talking to each other. But now we listen to it on wireless earbuds instead of in courtyards.

[Christina P]

How your face looked when you said wireless earbuds.

[Pete Holmes]

There's a reason we don't film these ones, baby. First schlong out. Dong out. Bong ripped.

[Val]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

I like to get toasted. And I like mimosts to be nosed.

[Christina P]

People are gonna believe me if they keep talking that crazy.

[Pete Holmes]

Believe me, my D were out. You could hear it.

[Christina P]

No, that you're supposed to hear.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, it's one of my favorite things in the world is when you ask me if I'm stoned and I'm not.

[Christina P]

Ooh, you like that?

[Pete Holmes]

Because it means I'm like, genuinely.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Not that being stoned, I guess. No, I guess I am saying it's a little ingenuine. It's medicinally enhanced.

[Christina P]

See, you've created this dynamic here, and I think it's.

[Val]

No, no, no.

[Pete Holmes]

You're misunderstanding me.

[Christina P]

To address it. No, no.

[Pete Holmes]

That you think that I think you're, like, ashamed or something. Ashamed that I'm ashamed of me for token a doke.

[Christina P]

No, no, no.

[Pete Holmes]

What's the dynamic? Forgive and forget already. Forgive, forgotten. Forgiven and forgotten. Remember that guy? Are you gonna remember what you're gonna say? Because I have a little aside.

[Val]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm at that fucking Ozark bar that had, like, a cave pool.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And to quote my friend John Roy, it's one of those moments where you walk around and go, Wow. I am not nearly as unattractive as I thought I was. Burn.

[Christina P]

Yeah, Burn on all of the Ozarks.

[Pete Holmes]

Take that. Ozarks. Well, they're from all over.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Question mark.

[Christina P]

Yeah, they're not from the Ozarks. Yeah, probably.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. They're just good old fashioned ugly people.

[Val]

Okay.

[Christina P]

They're ugly people from all over the Midwest.

[Pete Holmes]

Good hearted. Well, meaning. They're like failing at their meaning. Anywho, I'm just kidding. They're. That. I'm not gonna walk it back. Let's live in the tension. But anyway, there was a guy playing with his son and he had a tattoo across his chest that said, forgive but never forget. And it was like, so how a type? How. Yeah, it's. It is chest forgive but never forget guy. Yeah, that's a type.

[Christina P]

And it's like when you become a dad, you get to like, pick from a basket, like five things.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my dad be texting me in. He goes, I either win or learn. He texts.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

He's like, I never lose. I either win or learn. And I'm like, did you just read up to the point? I never lose. And then you're like, I'm sending this.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm trying to. Sorry, I'm not looking at my phone. I would never do that.

[Christina P]

You definitely are looking at your phone.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I just want to. This is the last one. So I never lose. I either win or learn. Which, by the way, that's what I'm gonna get him for Christmas. What? It's so hard shopping for my folks.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And believe it or not, I know on this show we vent and our feelings and our whatever. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's some guff. There's some guff thrown around. Sure.

[Christina P]

We give a little guff.

[Pete Holmes]

Do where it's definitely due.

[Christina P]

Definitely.

[Pete Holmes]

The guff here is in service of deep healing. And that sound bite, like, if we.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Had like a funky.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, we made it. Weir. The guff. The Guff is in service of deep healing, you know?

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Can somebody make one of those?

[Pete Holmes]

Don't even. Well, you gotta say send it to your Instagram. Yeah, I would love that.

[Christina P]

And I will check it November 1st if you play.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Oh, that's right, you're off. Well, then you don't have to rush it. But if. If they. If they made that, I would absolutely like an FM radio. Valerie and the man. You don't have to do. But it's hard to shop for my folks, but yet there's this yearning. In fact, we all Know this. There's deep yearning for connection and love and there's a lot of guilt that we're not a certain way. You know, you could say closer. But I mean, like even that when we are together, I just wish it were lighter, easier, funner for everybody.

[Christina P]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't think they're going home, going like, well, that was a classic night. I don't know if they ever say that. I don't know.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But when it. So there's two ways that this shows up. One, when we rewatch When Harry Met Sally, as we do in November or whatever the it is, October, I. I look at Carrie Fisher, who looks like kind of a my mom type.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like a short haired brunette with tude. And it melts my heart every time because she's wearing like trendy clothes and stuff. And I'm like, wait, my mom probably saw this movie and my mom probably like got ideas for wardrobes from that movie.

[Val]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And that is the fastest way I can access compassion for my folks. Meaning. Because they're so powerful. So I'm not saying they're. They're bad or anything. I'm just saying there are a lot of. And to soften them in my mind, it's helpful to think of my mom trying on sunglasses and being not sure. But she buys them and then she wears them out.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Or my dad wondering, like, is this right?

[Pete Holmes]

And I told you this before, but my dad putting on a pair of slacks, but he's just not, does this make me look like a giraffe? You know what I mean? But he wears them out because the teeth, the tailor, you know, it'd go to some Italian store and they'd be like, no, it looks. And my dad would leave and he's like, I don't know.

[Christina P]

But that softness really helped the appeal of it. Well, it is what you described. It's like two sort of sometimes scary people being really vulnerable.

[Pete Holmes]

That's it.

[Christina P]

In this very human way.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's also SSPs sometimes scary people.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

I'm an. I'm an HSP.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm an HSP.

[Christina P]

My parents were SSPs.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

But it's also like conceding that they have an inner world.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Christina P]

And they definitely don't seem like they have an inner world.

[Pete Holmes]

That is so. I feel so seen because I'm always struggling on how to explain my folks.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I say they're not people.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And what I really mean by that is people. And it's not just like, I don't have a filter. I just fucking say it. That's part of it.

[Val]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's also like, do you have.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Secret thoughts? Like, not even secret, but just thoughts that.

[Pete Holmes]

And they do.

[Christina P]

They do. They definitely do.

[Pete Holmes]

It just, you know, maybe I can't. I'm just trying to say, like, maybe some people are like, pete doesn't have any secret thoughts, but I do. And sunglasses. Trying on sunglasses.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Is a way to go. Like, my mom might be like, I hope. I hope they like it.

[Christina P]

I mean.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's so the opposite of her energy.

[Val]

Yes.

[Christina P]

That's what it is. Of course they have inner worlds, but they both have presented such a, like, impenetrable personality.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. It's like, does Alcatraz have any warm spots? Are there any parts in Alcatraz where it'd be nice to, like, curl up and take a day nap? Is there a good place to read a book in Alcatraz?

[Val]

Yeah, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah, Yeah.

[Christina P]

I think that's it. It's like, there. You just. We just want to believe that there's something other than what they're presenting.

[Pete Holmes]

And I think there is.

[Christina P]

I think there is.

[Pete Holmes]

Here's what we can say for certain, is there's things going on that I don't know. That is absolutely true. It seems true for you. Same true for anybody that I know really well. There's still parts that you know. That's why sometimes when Val and I are on road trips, we go, like, try to think of something you've never told me. Just for fun.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's really hard, actually.

[Christina P]

It is really hard. We really talk a lot.

[Pete Holmes]

Real estate. But the other.

[Christina P]

Talk a lot. And then we watch Shock a lot. That's our relationship.

[Pete Holmes]

Shaq. Shaq. Tank.

[Christina P]

Sha. No, I said Shock a lot.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, the movie Shock a lot.

[Christina P]

The movie Chocolate.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, the softest pornography.

[Val]

Shock a lot.

[Christina P]

But people don't like it anymore. I feel like we all liked it, and then now people.

[Pete Holmes]

Because it became a joke.

[Christina P]

Yeah, it became a joke.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, the best jokes are things like, I have a joke about Subway. I've had a lot of jokes about Subway. But I'm very interested, clearly, in how we all used to. Sometimes I say, we used to eat Subway's ass. We love Subway.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And now we're, like, embarrassed. It's funny. Different cities I go to, I get more pushback depending on where I am. If you're in New York City, obviously people are like, yeah. Why would you go to Subway? When I was in Utah, I felt a little Bit more like, no, Subway is good if you're, you know, if you're in a rush.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm like, yeah, but I don't know that. That might be a little snob factor.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

The other thing I was going to say was the. The vulnerable desire, meaning it's so easy to just be like, get out of your mom and dad. And then you look a little closer and you're like, oh, no. There's a little. There's a tenderness there. And it comes out around Christmas in a lot of ways. But one of the ways is that I do think, like, what can I get them that says.

[Christina P]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

That says, do you have a gift that says, like, we're doing our best. We like each other. We love each other.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

We're kind of weird. We're pretty irregular. A little bit strange.

[Christina P]

Okay, here's my question.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Do. Let's just say your dad. Because I think your mom would appreciate a good gift. Yeah, she appreciates.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, we talked about this when I sent my dad a gift from Russ and Daughters or something, which is a Jewish deli.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it was. I thought I knocked out of the park. And he was like, I thought that was for your mother.

[Christina P]

And that's.

[Pete Holmes]

That's like, her kind of stuff. And I was like, who doesn't like cookies and fucking.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Smoked and bagels, Beef and shit.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Who doesn't like one beef? I thought that was your mother. But.

[Christina P]

And okay.

[Pete Holmes]

And remember in that story, he said that to my mom? And my mom told me, he said, jay said, I thought that was for you. And then when I asked him a week later, did you get my gift? He kind of reheated the confusion and was like, that was for me. I thought that was for your mother. Like, I know you've been corrected. Yes, I know you know, but that's very. I can relate to that. You want to say that's not my kind of stuff.

[Val]

Maybe.

[Christina P]

Or maybe he was explaining why he didn't say thank you or her.

[Val]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

But he's. No. Yeah, but.

[Christina P]

But he could have once he found out. Yeah, you're right. But. Okay. And I had. And I know this will make you sad, but it doesn't make me sad. So try to take comfort in that.

[Pete Holmes]

Amtrak station waiting for a train that's been delayed. It's a train going to, like, Cleveland or something. And you're just like, God, hey, Cleveland rocks.

[Christina P]

Yeah. No, it's just a long train ride.

[Pete Holmes]

Good. To Drew Carey smashing his radio.

[Christina P]

And then Turning the podcast off.

[Pete Holmes]

You're a true talent. Don't ever doubt your true talent, you sweet love. And then he turns to his phone and turns the podcast off. That's, as we say in the biz, ready to go. It's ready to go.

[Christina P]

But when your dad got. It's not when he got the canoe. He got a boat. He got a different boat that has never touched water.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Dry boats.

[Christina P]

And they, like. I mean, you can walk from their back door into a lake. Like, there's already a boat dock.

[Pete Holmes]

Which is funny. Cause they love saying, go jump in a lake.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

But they never did. And I think I asked your mom this recent time. I was like, does anybody swim in this lake?

[Pete Holmes]

And she's like, no, you absolutely can swim in that lake. Yeah, I've swam in that lake.

[Christina P]

Seems like, of course you have. So I got. He, like, got this boat, and it was like, all he was talking about. Like, he was obsessed with this boat. You got to see the boat, like, going on and on about it. So for Christmas, I got him two gifts. I got him a real gift, and I got him this kind of. I just realized, right, I got him, like, some truly. I got him, like, a biography on, like, Ted Kennedy or something, which is exactly perfect for him.

[Pete Holmes]

If I were to, like, paint my father by memory, he'd be reading a thick book about Winston Churchill.

[Christina P]

Yes, exactly. It might have been about Winston Churchill. It was somebody like that, where I was just like, nailed it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that's very good.

[Christina P]

And then I got him a captain, like, a sailor hat for his boat.

[Pete Holmes]

It doesn't make me sad. It makes me actually, like, I got in your heart for a moment, and I liked it. I was like, oh, this is beautiful. It's light and warm and. And. And what happened?

[Christina P]

And he just was looked at the hat, so confused. And I had to be like, it's for your boat when you're on your boat. And he's like, oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And maybe he like, what if he went, oh, you think I'm gonna go on that boat? Yeah, you think I'm gonna go on the boat?

[Christina P]

You haven't been here for very long.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's funny because I. Glenn Howerton, just did the pod this weekend. We were talking about adhd. And I was like, I've said this a million times. But I'm like, I definitely, as we've covered, have the symptoms of it, whatever that means. That's what the doctor said. So I have it.

[Christina P]

That's what the doctor said.

[Pete Holmes]

You have the symptoms. And then my dad definitely has it. I'm saying that to understand him. Meaning if he's not looking. Nay, in the boat, the thought of being in the boat isn't really. What are you talking about? Like, it's not reality. So it's very much out of sight, out of mind.

[Val]

Yeah, that's true.

[Christina P]

That helps me understand.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

There's a lot of, like, big feelings, too. Like, sometimes when I'm overwhelmed with my feelings, and I noticed that, like. Like a pebble in your shoe, like, a certain feeling will just completely take over my reality. I know my dad is that way, too. And I know my dad would benefit from a lot of the things that I've learned from you, from my therapist, from other whatever. But, like, somatic things. Like, if I ever saw my dad, are you. This is making me. It's not sad. I'm not, like, teary. It's making me feel like a gasp. If I saw him put his hands to his side, palms out, and then reach up to the sun.

[Christina P]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

Bringing his hands above him and going, oh, my God. I would go, wow, that would be like seeing the under Da. Si. Little Mermaid City.

[Christina P]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

Which is a glorious, golden, fluted city.

[Christina P]

That is a really. That, like, that's such a beautiful image.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm like, I'm gonna hold on to that image. It makes me happy.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

To think of it, let's make what.

[Christina P]

I was gonna say, let's make, like, a short. Where you're just, like, following a man like your dad, and then some sort of transformation happens. And that's how.

[Pete Holmes]

It's why we love about Schmidt. That's basically it.

[Val]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

But, like, if my dad in the first act sees hippies in the park doing that.

[Val]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And then, like, you know, you realize, like, wait, I'm not. Like, in the same way that I have to realize I'm not my child self. My dad goes, wait, I'm not that tough kid, you know, fending for himself in the streets of sepia. Toned Somerville.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And he goes, that. That's the feeling. That's the feeling that I'm always chasing. And after is like, wait. Infinite possibilities.

[Val]

Yeah, you can.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's. The problem with it is when you say that and you feel stuck, there is a pebble in your shoe. It's, like, annoying that someone reminds you.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like Garden State comes to mind when Natalie Portman's like, do it. Do something that's never been done when you're depressed. You're like, how about you eat shit and die. That's never been done. You know what I mean? Like, but like, when you. It's like I used to say, like, sometimes you go to a Ram Dass event and there's playing like these. These incredibly intricate psychedelic trip images on the walls. And I'm like, Psychedelic images without psychedelic feelings are just nightmares.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, it's just mathematical repeating eyeballs and pyramids and stuff. And it's like. No, psychedelics make you feel like you are that. Like you're in that soup. And it's beautiful when you are. Geometry being amongst geometry.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a party.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

In the same way someone's saying, like, in this moment, everyone listening, in this moment, you're free. If you don't feel emotionally and in your body capable to receive that, it's actually. It becomes a psychedelic image without a psychedelic feeling. And you're just like, get the fuck out of here. I'm glad you're tripping.

[Christina P]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I mean? And it's anger inciting. But anyway, am I on the right track? I was going to say. Oh, the other quote was, I hope it's still up. He goes, do what you can with what you got where you are. Teddy R. Teddy Roosevelt.

[Christina P]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

And I wrote, love that. Thanks, Pooh. And then he wrote pop, not pooh. And let's be real for a moment. There was. I mean, I wrote pop, not poo faster than I've ever typed in anything. Pop not poo. Although my dad's not a. Not a knucklehead. He would know.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I wasn't calling him poo.

[Christina P]

I can't handle that poo.

[Pete Holmes]

Pop not poo. And the LOL emoji, but just in.

[Christina P]

Response to like a quote, like a. Like a majestic, glorified man quote.

[Pete Holmes]

And then I go, thanks, his son.

[Christina P]

Thanks, Poo.

[Val]

Poo.

[Pete Holmes]

No, you're absolutely right.

[Christina P]

Oh, my God. So what is the gift you're going to give him? That quote framed. Here's a tip with a picture of your butt.

[Pete Holmes]

Look. And it says, pop, not poo on my butt. You know, I don't know if people are tuning into this show for hot holiday tips. And it's so obvious to me, but you got to go on Etsy.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you just type in whoever. First you look up who said that quote. Let's say it was dip, duck. And then you just type in dip, duck, duck into Etsy. Pop, not poop. And inevitably someone will have carved. I never lose. I either win or learn in wood. Really, what it was I was just gonna move on. Inevitably, someone will have carved. I never lose. I either win or learn in wood.

[Val]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

And make no mistake, I don't think my dad will like it or enjoy it.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's just this little sonar ping of, like. And hopefully. And I think this does get through. I love you. I'm pa. Just like what we do with Leela.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What's important to you is exciting to me. Is such a loving.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Tell that story about Leela saying it's a special day.

[Christina P]

Well, didn't tell it.

[Val]

We. Oh, it's a. Yeah.

[Christina P]

So I think we talked about it on the last episode. The. No, no, no. Not this, but the.

[Val]

That.

[Christina P]

You had Rabbi.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Mordecai Finley on. And so we've been, like, kind of deciding if we should let her watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the 2012 series, which is fantastic.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, we like it.

[Christina P]

And you talked to Rabbi Finley and he was like, let her watch it. She's interested in something. Just ask her about it and, you.

[Pete Holmes]

Know, say, what do you like about it? Do you like being scared? Do you like, you know.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

She's like, I learned things from Donatello. I'm like, like, what?

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Turns out she meant, like, how to make ninja bombs out of eggs. And I'm like, I remember that feeling, though, being a kid, being like, that would work. And I can do it.

[Christina P]

Yeah, totally. And, you know, I think it's also helped me realize, you know, he said something great, which was like, she's working out her own capacity for violence. But I think there's also a degree of, like, she knows she's. On some level, she knows she's so soft and small and vulnerable in this big, wild world, and she wants to feel like she can fight her way through.

[Pete Holmes]

I put her on my shoulders on the 30 foot walk from the car to the school today. And she goes, I'm taller than that car. Like, she just wants to be big.

[Christina P]

She. Yeah, she wants to make a difference on her reality.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Christina P]

So.

[Pete Holmes]

Which is what I think we're projecting onto. Not. I can't say this for all violence. I'm just saying when I watch violent movies, it's me going, like, look at our capacity for change. I know that's absurd. Yeah, you're just watching kicking butt and fucking headshots. But you're also just like, yeah, this guy. I know I always mention John Wick, but John Wick is also a guy who got up and was like, I'm gonna quit smoking. Yeah, I really Think that he's a guy that's, like, getting out of this relationship.

[Christina P]

There is clearly. I've never seen the John Wick movies, but did you not know that?

[Pete Holmes]

No, of course I knew that.

[Val]

Okay.

[Christina P]

But I remember when the first one came out. My ex husband, who we were married at the time. Did you not know that.

[Pete Holmes]

You were married to John Wick?

[Val]

Yeah, it's a blend. He.

[Christina P]

He, like, went, watched it, and then just did what I think every man has done who has. Every straight man who has a partner watched that movie and came home to their partner and just explained the entire movie.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God.

[Christina P]

Like, he is. He was so excited about that movie. And I think it re. So it really speaks to. And I'm not gonna say just men. I just haven't seen it. I bet it would speak to something in me, too.

[Pete Holmes]

I have never felt the impulse to be like, okay, there's this guy, and he sort of inexplicably lives in a mansion, though he doesn't seem to have a job. But, you know, like, I know everyone listening that he has the gold coins in his basement. Relax. Go ahead.

[Christina P]

But I do. I think that there is something that it gets ignited with those movies specifically.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, yeah. Like, it's an excitement. It's not really like, you got to hear this plot. It's like, you want to share.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's what we're talking about.

[Christina P]

Yeah, that's what I mean.

[Pete Holmes]

And what is exciting is important. No, what's important to you is exciting to me is, like, such a helpful phrase.

[Val]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And you use it in this story.

[Christina P]

Right. Well, the way I worded it was. So anyway, we're riding our bike. I picked.

[Pete Holmes]

You change it to the way I worded it.

[Christina P]

I picked Leela up from school on our. My little E bike. And she was in the trailer, the little pulley trailer thing that she rides in from my bike. And we were on our way home from school, and she, like, yelled out, mama, since it's a special day, which she says every day.

[Pete Holmes]

Which said it this morning.

[Christina P]

She's totally right. Every day is a special day.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God. I just forgot my whole epiphany in the. In the pool the other day. It was in the hot tub. I don't know why I changed it to pool. It sounded more pretentious. I was like, quick, don't say you were in the hot tub. In the pool.

[Christina P]

My epiphany in the pool.

[Pete Holmes]

My caviar epiphany. Trying to sound folksy. I was at a cracker Barrel.

[Christina P]

And she was like, mama, since it's a special day, can we watch Ninja Turtles when we get home? And I said, because of Rabbi Finley? I said, yes, but not because it's a special day. Because it's important to you. No, I said, because you love it, and what you love is important to me.

[Pete Holmes]

That's great.

[Christina P]

And she, like, real.

[Pete Holmes]

She lit up.

[Christina P]

She, like, lit up. And then. And then she said it again. She said something like, we'll go watch Ninja Turtles, because I love it so much. I love it every day. And I was like, I know you do, and thank you for sharing what you love, because it's important to me. And she, like, ran to me and hugged me.

[Pete Holmes]

See, this is it.

[Christina P]

Like, I know she was, like, getting what she wanted, but I think it was more than that.

[Val]

No. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

She doesn't even really like Ninja Turtles that much. I watch her watch it. She's into it. But, you know, here's what I'm saying. This isn't a conversation about parenting or any. This is a conversation about what it means to love somebody, and that's relevant to everybody. I'm sort of addressing the fact that I'm like, I know a lot of our listeners don't have kids, but I'm like, we're talking about just saying to somebody, what's important to you.

[Christina P]

What you love.

[Pete Holmes]

What you love is important to me is, like. You say that to me. So yesterday, my Netflix special.

[Christina P]

Oh, excuse me.

[Val]

Sorry.

[Pete Holmes]

A butterfly. A butterfly flew in my gullet. Oh, my net.

[Val]

Boom.

[Pete Holmes]

My Netflix special came out. And that's an exciting day. It felt like I was leaning on a cell phone tower. There's just so much energy to the day.

[Val]

Sure, sure.

[Pete Holmes]

And I don't mean I was ripping through social. I wasn't. I just feel it. You just feel this very. It's not indescribable, but it's very specific. Meaning. I don't confuse it with any other feeling. There's a feeling of something that you worked hard on coming out. And I'm like, but it's not. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't. Like, I was like, oh, maybe I'll do some breath work. And I was like, no. As soon as I tried, it was like, no, here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna crouch like a coyote watching a rooster. That's what you're gonna do all day. Just kind of on alert. It's kind of very, you know, rested and alive. Yeah, but I couldn't read. I Couldn't focus. I couldn't do anything. Where was I going with this?

[Christina P]

It would. Saying what we're talking about. Love is important to me.

[Val]

Yesterday.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, and then you. You know, it's a small thing, but Jonathan Scott, who came out this week. That was weeks ago. He hadn't. We hadn't seen each other since the podcast, but he invited me to a poker night, and I was. And I love playing poker, and I haven't done it in years. I play it on my phone.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But I used to play with people, and you saw how excited I was about that. Look, you and I are not a 1985 miserable married couple where you go like, all right, go be with your boys. There wasn't. That is not the energy I'm addressing. What I'm addressing is actually an effortless, genuine excitement you had seeing something important to me that I was like. And I wasn't even particularly craving guy time. That's. That is a feeling I've had. I'm like. I. I like sometimes I'm missing how men talk where we're just like, that sounds stupid. Stop doing that. You know?

[Val]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That's my example. But I ended up going to this. This card night and was so fun, and I couldn't wait to tell everybody that I won. It was a tournament. It was a tournament, and I won the day.

[Christina P]

My net place.

[Pete Holmes]

First place. I wouldn't say when. I'd say I came in second. I won.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So fun. And there really is something. I was ripping through show business again. Meaning the pot. The. The episode had released in, like, on the ride down. I never call my manager. I call him, and we're like, what's in the mix? And he's setting up these meetings, and I'm like, fucking, this is cool. And. And I. The spiritual part of me is like, I was watching it all kind of go by and. And be interesting phenomena. All that. And also just like, putting that aside and just going like, it's fun to rip through show business. I called Judd and we're talking about this thing, and fucking. So fun. Got to this the most. I. I hope Jonathan. Jonathan couldn't mind the most beautiful house I've ever seen in my life. In my life.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I won't. I. I'll have to ask him if I can share details about his house, because they have to have done Architectural Digest or something.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

There's no way you have a house that beautiful and you don't talk about it.

[Christina P]

Well, I think I've seen, like, Zoe doing Instagram videos where she's like, not to. Not to. For the purpose of showing the house. But you see, like, you see the house. And I've always been like, when I.

[Pete Holmes]

Say that to subtle flex, I don't mean that in a bad way. People want that. I want to see. And I did. And I got to see.

[Christina P]

Well, his whole job is making beautiful houses.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I know.

[Christina P]

So of course it's the.

[Pete Holmes]

Can I say this. I'll say this safely. In the bathroom, he was like, go gentle. It's a European flush.

[Christina P]

I'm like, you, you charming man.

[Pete Holmes]

And we kissed on the mouth.

[Christina P]

Oh my gosh.

[Pete Holmes]

And I went in the bathroom and I. And the. The lights look like. Like switches on a airplane in the 1930s. Like those toggle switches and just little details like those. You turn it off and they fade out. The lights here don't just go out.

[Val]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

What is this? A gunshot to the head? This is a peaceful death with loved ones to darkness.

[Val]

Oh my God.

[Pete Holmes]

And I will say that there was like an atrium style, like greenhouse roofed indoor tree dining room where we were served sushi.

[Val]

Oh my God.

[Pete Holmes]

And then I won at cards. And it was so fun, but it was all. It's like that energy, like being in the flow and being in the pocket and like not to. This is maybe boring, but it's like I was like believing in myself. The reason I don't call my manager is because I'm like, I don't wanna. I don't want to be like nothing going on, but I was feeling myself Beyonce style. And that came out in the cards. But we had so much fun and at the end, I don't know what, What a. What a thrill. I do want to. I do want to tell the. The hot tub epiphany, but let's do it after the mid rolls. I hope I can do it because it was really meaningful to me. Like really like. This is corny to say, but it was one of those, like, is this it? Am I fully done? Like, is it? Is the journey over and we have to talk about. We went and saw Rupert Spira.

[Christina P]

Yeah, we went and saw Conforms probably year.

[Pete Holmes]

It's why I had that. Yeah, for sure. But I met him and we went to it and anyone who listens to this podcast knows what a huge deal that is to me. He's in the special thanks of my special.

[Val]

Oh, wow.

[Christina P]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

As is Muji and Father Boyle and Rob Bell and Richard Rohr and mine there. You're the first one I'm just kidding. You have your own card. I think it's you and Flanny have your own card. As. As is the tradition.

[Val]

Cute.

[Pete Holmes]

So when we come back, we'll talk about our. Our trip to see Rupert Spira in San Francisco and this little hot tub. I'm sorry, Pool.

[Christina P]

I'm sorry. Champagne.

[Pete Holmes]

Epiphany. So we'll be back in two minutes.

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[Pete Holmes]

And what do they do?

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[Pete Holmes]

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[Pete Holmes]

They.

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[Pete Holmes]

They're incredible.

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[Pete Holmes]

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[Pete Holmes]

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[Pete Holmes]

Sorry.

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[Pete Holmes]

That means we're back. That's the smell of the hotel box under sheets.

[Val]

Pee.

[Christina P]

You just want to be clear. That was my mouth.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. No, I Know Christina P. On your mom's house, farts into a microphone. There's a special mic for it.

[Christina P]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

And I remember that's when I'm a Victorian ninny. I remember when I did your mom's house, she did it. And I remember just very much being like, I don't care for that, which is such nonsense. But. But to be honest, if Tom or I had farted, I. As much as I'm about it as a lifestyle.

[Val]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

I was like, oh, I got over it. Now I think it's fun. Like, from a distance. If I was listening to it, I would think it was funny. But in the room, I was like, you have a special mic for your butt. I remember being. There's only one word. Aghast.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And if you watch the video of that, you can see me, you know, like, smiling through it, being like. Like just trying to not judge.

[Val]

Yeah. You.

[Christina P]

You save all your love for me. Usually.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. I. Well, there. I watched the Full House, the unauthorized Full House documentary, which I highly recommend. It's fantastically, you know, kitschy and all the things that you like about those things. But apparently Dave Coulier is a big farter. Like, group photo at a wedding and he'll fart. I don't like that. Yeah, I. I don't like it.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

No, you just save it for our couch watching at a distance.

[Pete Holmes]

But if we were snuggling, I wouldn't fart.

[Christina P]

There have been times where your butt is right level with my face and you fart.

[Pete Holmes]

Maybe there was a bug on your nose that was trying to blow it off. Have you ever thought of that? Jane Austen, Any who's a Woozle? So we'll start with Rupert and then we can close with my epiphany, which I'm like, I really don't know if I'll be able to describe it, but I wrote it on a. Post it so I'll at least be able to say the words.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So we went to see Rupee Spies. He was coming to San Francisco. I didn't know then there was a seven day retreat. I wouldn't have been able to do it. But that's happening right now.

[Christina P]

Oh, it is.

[Pete Holmes]

Had I known, I might have tried to do that. Oh, I know.

[Christina P]

But you know what? We got everything we needed.

[Pete Holmes]

We did. In fact, the day was. So you go and you sit. Rupert Spiro, for those of you who don't know, wrote the book that really changed my life. It's called Being Aware of Being aware. I love all of his books. But I really feel like that summarizes his message very cleanly. And I love his YouTube videos. He's very popular on YouTube. Everybody was like, like, I saw your YouTube video and YouTube video. All the questions were like, you said it in YouTube. So he's a big YouTube. Non dual teacher. But you know what, what is really remarkable about him is I can say, and often do say what he says. And I, you know, I give credit and say Rupert Spire says. And I say it. And that's great. I have a. I'm proud I have a sharp mind and good retention and I can regurgitate it and communicate it because I've also experienced the states that these words put you in. But he's not, he's not just saying it, he's like embodying it. And you get to watch someone who's just kind of like, there.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you realize even though I've heard this a million times, you know, I didn't come to learn from my master. I came to watch him tie his shoes. I can teach it sometimes, but then I tie my shoes like a fucking drunken pirate, you know, sometimes. But it was really nice to be with someone who was just so calm. It was interesting. What stands out to you? What. One of the things that stands out to me is people kept asking if you just imagine like a very calm, dashing, dreamy British man answering questions and pointing everybody back to the nature of their self very calmly. What I. A couple things stood out. One was everyone was asking, do you get upset and what makes you upset? And he would say, I do get upset sometimes. But he, he's like, I'm not. He wouldn't even say it.

[Christina P]

He was, but he was really like charming about it. Like, he was like, he was like, I'll spare you the details of what exactly makes me upset.

[Pete Holmes]

In this practice, we're not concerned with what makes you upset. I can't do it. The. The moment that this guy, someone had already asked what makes you upset?

[Christina P]

And he already evaded the question.

[Pete Holmes]

Question as elegant as cream being poured into tea.

[Val]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And then another guy who I want to talk about a little bit.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

A real kook. Yeah, A Berkeley kook. And I love this Berkeley kook. But like, you get the, like an older guy, definitely. Like, he had written out his question, which I found quite darling. And it had lots of jokes in it. It was like a stand up routine.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And some of them worked, but then a lot of them didn't. And yeah, he's holding It. Reading it. And kind of can't read his own writing. You can tell. He goes, I have two questions. The first question is, what does make you upset? And Rupert just goes, let's go to your second question. And everyone was just like, it's just such a killer response. And I realized to relate. Not to say what we do. Is that similar? But I was like, oh, he is sort of. He's 0.01% doing crowd work. And this guy was, like, tearing into some idea and some confusion, not. Not with much anger. But there was, like a. There was a restlessness to his question, and there was a, like, a wily ness to it. Yeah, it felt very like. Like a moth in a glass jar.

[Val]

And.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it did kind of all over the place and wild. And he was kind of interrupting and not really with the flow. Everybody else is like, hello, Rupert. Thank you. And this guy's up, and I'm like, oh, I know what this is. Like, this is like comedy.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And Rupert, I'll never forget it. He answered his question. And then the guy was like, yeah, right. And he goes. Again, he kind of answered. And he goes, like, not hearing. Not even trying to hear. You realize it's, oh, wow, the weird guy at the bus stop has the microphone.

[Christina P]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And how is Rupert gonna handle this? And I'm sure you remember he just goes, yeah, I have no quarrel with you.

[Val]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And then he. And then he pointed to someone else.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it was over.

[Christina P]

So good.

[Pete Holmes]

And I was like, holy shit. Yeah, I have no quarrel with you.

[Christina P]

I actually.

[Pete Holmes]

That was like, fucking badass Gandalf.

[Christina P]

It was also, if you. I don't know if you remember, he. I don't remember the guy's question exactly, but he started by saying, I've watched 109 YouTube videos of you or something.

[Pete Holmes]

And he goes.

[Christina P]

And he went, that's too many YouTube videos.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Christina P]

And then he, like, continued with his question, and then Rupert was answering it and said something like, it's not found in the teacher or in the ashram or on YouTube.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. Yes.

[Christina P]

Which was very cool.

[Pete Holmes]

There was a. Another. Oh, go ahead.

[Christina P]

Well, I was going to say there.

[Pete Holmes]

There was another.

[Christina P]

He. I did notice because when I'm teaching a mindfulness workshop or something, it's so difficult to be the timekeeper and be present with each person.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, for sure.

[Christina P]

And he was so masterful at it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

And it even meant, like. Like, it's like he had an internal time.

[Val]

There was also how long people got.

[Pete Holmes]

The guy who was running it was in the Temple. And the guy that was running the temple was helping with time. Like, I saw him point to his watch at 1. Yeah. He was giving him, he was giving him the light.

[Christina P]

But it is hard to gracefully pivot, you know, like, get someone else.

[Pete Holmes]

Absolutely.

[Christina P]

But there was a woman, remember the woman that asked about pain? Like, she's like, I've lived with chronic pain. And it just, the more. And he's like, like, you know, the best thing we can do with pain, with physical pain really, is bear it and just try and return back to the state of being. And she's like, yeah. And I get, and I, like, will be there, but the more it intensifies, the harder it is to stay with that. And he like kind of had a response to that. And then she was like, yeah, I think that's the part that I like keeping forgetting. And then he was like, okay, and we'll take a question here.

[Val]

Like, he left it.

[Pete Holmes]

He knew when it was done. Yeah.

[Christina P]

And I, I remember being like, oh my God, does that woman feel like she got like. I thought he was going to respond to it. And then later I was like, no, there really is no response to it.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, yeah, it's what's happening. That's, yeah, that's what happens.

[Christina P]

That's what happens.

[Pete Holmes]

In fact, that reminds me of the other moment where someone named Peter raised his hand and was like, because, because the non. Dual path is all kind of, There's a little bit, I guess I should say the vedantic path. Vedantic is, is a little dissociative.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

It's going moved.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm not angry. I am the eternal boundless, spaceless eye that is observing my anxiety or my depression or whatever. And, and to people like you as well, that you can bump up against that. I can as well.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I just had my rock and poker night ripping through show business, so. Yeah, I understand. Although to be honest, I did pepper in like, what I, what I'll talk about later. My like, epiphany.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And that balanced it out. But yeah, life is, can be very beautiful.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you don't want to renounce it.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

At those times. And this guy was like, I've given up spiritual goals. What you're talking about sounds like a spiritual goal to me.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

To like, learn how to abide in the eye.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I love life. I, I, I decided I'm not going to be enlightened this time around.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

He's like, I'm not gonna try to be enlightened. I wanna, I Want to experience all of.

[Val]

All of life.

[Christina P]

The pain and the agony too. Which is exactly something I would.

[Pete Holmes]

It is you and I at several points, by the way. I didn't expect this, but four or five times you and I leaned over. And the first time we said it. But then after the first time, it just. When we touched and pressed on each other, we knew what it meant. The first time we said it was, I'm on the edge of my seat.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Like, I cannot wait to see what.

[Val]

He says about this.

[Pete Holmes]

Which for like, a very calm, slow talking person, that actually took about 20 minutes to kind of get in that groove at the beginning. You're like, your brain's freaking out. Both of our brains are freaking out. Like, this is gonna be boring.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's Muji. Going, going. This is boring. There's nothing here.

[Christina P]

There's nothing for me.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And there isn't.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, your ego is like, we could be at a Sizzler and we're here. So there's this resistance you push through. You kept saying you were picturing I.

[Christina P]

Was imagining in the first 20 minutes, like, just like, sitting in that seat and then hearing I wanna run and, like, busting out of there and running down the street with like a sunbeam in my face, like, dancing through the streets.

[Pete Holmes]

Make no mistake, the spiritual practice is willing death. That's what it is. As I've always said, baptism is a drowning ritual. It's like, I'm going to drown you. And then the new you comes up, but it's like it's not you. It's like you leave it all behind. It's very fierce and it gets turned into being sweet, but it's really kind of scary. So there's this, like, resistance to it. Anyway, so Peter's like, I love life. I. I love the highs and the lows and this and that. And I don't want to just step back into my witness. And we're like, what is he gonna say?

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And there's a pause, as there usually is, meaning he never. I really admire it.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I get so excited. Our friend Cassandra was over yesterday, and we were talking a little bit about the power of now. And when she would stop, I'd immediately be like, well, that's the thing about, like, I can't wait to kind of show that I have the answer. And, you know, oh, won't this be great? That I'll help you.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's embarrassing to say that that's exciting. I feel none of that here. And he just goes, I Would say, if you are happy in your life, then I would recommend you do nothing different.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And we were, like, so beautiful. It was nuts. But there is something kind of gangster in there.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

But I, I. I don't really read. I don't know if he was saying, like. All right, if you think that's worth.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I don't. I don't. But it does plant the question. Am I truly okay with this? Because it's. It's. At a certain point, you know, we all kind of throw our hands up and go, like, this isn't working.

[Val]

Maybe.

[Christina P]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

Maybe. I don't know.

[Christina P]

I, I don't think the. I would say what that guy represented was the way of the feminine mystic.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

And I think that Rupert is really into the way of the feminine mystic.

[Pete Holmes]

I think he is, too.

[Christina P]

So. Okay, I want to just do, like, some of my quick highlights. Do we have time? Not really.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, no, we have. We have, like, 15 minutes. Yeah.

[Val]

Okay.

[Christina P]

Because I do want to hear your.

[Pete Holmes]

Epiphany, but I'll try to cram it into two minutes sense. I'm just kidding. I can't. I can.

[Christina P]

Well, I'm not gonna take 13 minutes.

[Pete Holmes]

To describe this, the way it's going.

[Christina P]

Oh, my God. Okay. So I really loved that he talked about the difference. And I didn't really know this, but somebody said that he. It was actually our friend who we, like, met at lunch and chatted with, and she was great. And she said that she was dealing with depression, and she was trying to say, I'm not my depression. I'm not my depression.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God.

[Christina P]

And then she hurt. Saw a YouTube video of Rupert telling somebody to try loving their depression. And she's like, I gotta say, I've been trying that, and it. And it's worked a lot better.

[Pete Holmes]

And he said, this is the tantric approach.

[Christina P]

Yes. And he said, I. I would. You know, for the first 20 years of my practice, it was vedantic, which is, I am not.

[Pete Holmes]

I am not.

[Val]

I am not.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm not my body, I'm not my mind, I'm not my feelings.

[Christina P]

And he's like. So that the way that, you know, he's like, there's two ways that you can sort of cope with or deal with big emotions or thoughts like depression. He's like, you can either put distance between you, like, I am not my depression, or he said, you can do the tantric approach, which he's like, I have found more effective, which is getting so close to it. And Loving it so that you kind of collapse into it and it disappears.

[Pete Holmes]

And, like, the relationship ends. Then, like, it's not. He's. Remember.

[Val]

Yes.

[Christina P]

That was my favorite part was he's like, you can only see something if there's a slight distance between you.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

But if you get so close to it, you can no longer see it because you have merged with it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

And I had never heard anybody describe the Vedantic and Tantric that way. I didn't. I don't know if I've ever heard anybody really describe those. And that just really clarified something for me. And obviously, I loved it because it really. That was my biggest. Like, that's what surprised me the most, having not. If I had read more, Rupert, I would have known this probably like you did, but there was so much heart in it.

[Pete Holmes]

It was more wet than, you know. Yeah.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

And he. The other thing that he said that I loved was somebody was asking basically about, like, almost like, simulation theory. Like, he was like. It was just like, such a heady, philosophical question where he's like, you. If I'm in my awareness, like, how do I know that you are real? Basically that anybody else is real.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Which is true. It's not falsifiable that you are the only. Awareness that you are the only person.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You can't experience someone else's experience. So it's.

[Val]

Yes, but.

[Christina P]

And he said that. He was like, yes, it's true that I can't be sure exactly what your experience is, but when I live my life that way, I don't.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm not rewarded with peace, joy, and happiness.

[Val]

Yes.

[Christina P]

And he kept saying. He's like, Well, I think he started the ant to that question. He's like, what do I desire? It might have been the answer to another question. He's like, I desire a joy, a deep joy from within. And he said, peace on the inside and love on the outside.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

And so whatever I. I do, if it's not causing those things, it's not working. It's not working. It's not correct.

[Pete Holmes]

So good.

[Christina P]

So then I think he brought it back for that question. He was like, so it's true. I don't know what your experience is, but when I live my life that way, I don't experience peace, joy, and love on the outside.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

And so good. And the guy was like. He was like, yeah, but how do we know we're not just going to, what, gets comfortable or something? And. And I think he. He then did meet him with. At the, like, intellectual Level, like, he was trying first to, like, I feel, like, appeal to that guy's heart space. And that guy's thinking brain was just like, oh. Oh, no.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Like, the heart has been dead for a thousand years. Oh, no. That was mean. But just that it was, like, very, very in the head. And so he, like, met him there, and he said, there are too many unanswerable questions with that theory, like, things that don't really work or whatever.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

But the part that really spoke to me was it was. So he just kept simplifying it. No matter how complicated somebody or philosophical somebody tried to get, he would just bring it back to, like, just being aware.

[Pete Holmes]

But how many times did he go, close your eyes? And I've been doing this constantly, too. And everybody who's not driving can do this is. Close your eyes. And without reference to the past, tell me about yourself. Like, if you were a baby and you were just born. I know we've done this before, but if you were a baby and you just born. So people would say, spacious. And he's like, well, that's referencing the past, because you know that there's space and there's things that are spacious and things that are tight, claustrophobic. He's like, you have no reference to the past. Just tell me about yourself and you, everybody. And the point isn't the answer. The point is the search. These are what he would call holy questions that make you go, okay, what do I mean when I say I with no reference to the past, with my eyes closed? And you just go, I. I am. I simply am.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you realize that everything's. I'm not. I'm not gonna unpack all the theory. We don't have time. Well, I did want to say.

[Val]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Christina P]

No, I have one more. That was my favorite. But you.

[Pete Holmes]

About the depression. There was a thing that you. Maybe this is what you're gonna say. He used the image of. So when you get so close to something, it can't hurt you.

[Val]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

He used the image of boxers.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

Boxers can either retreat, which is vedantic. If they want to stop getting punched.

[Christina P]

They go to their corners.

[Pete Holmes]

Or I also. I didn't like that it was corners, because that means it's a break. The break. The bell ringing is the break. Like, you can just back away from the boxer now. He can't hit you, and that's what you do. Muhammad Ali is moving away and, you know, doing his footwork, and you can't get punched. The other one is. And That's Vedanta. That's saying, I am not my depression. The other one, which is going so close into it and loving it and saying yes to it and all the things we've talked about on this podcast, welcoming it to get as big as it wants and getting inside and loving it. He goes, is. Is getting so close to the box, you collapse onto the. You know when boxers are, like, hugging.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like they're so close, they can't hit each other now.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And that. That was unbelievable. The other one was the Princess and the frog. So you're anger or your sadness or whatever, your disgust is the toad. And you can't chase the toad. The toads too fast. It's wild as small. You have to kiss it.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And not just love it.

[Christina P]

You have to kiss it, like, even more.

[Pete Holmes]

And then it turns into the prince. And I was like, so it's alchemized into and folded back into your being, which is appropriate that it's a princess because it's royalty. That's the old metaphor. You are of royal blood. Because we're all children for religious language. Children of God, all children of the mystery. All children of the one.

[Val]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

So you are a princess and your frog is your bat. Whatever feeling that you think is bad, and when you kiss it, that's not just like a. That's a. That's a Jungian, you know, shared dream. That story doesn't catch fire. It's like what we were saying last week. Does Leela get violent images or scary images from watching Ninja Turtles? Or are the violent, scary images that are in her unconscious mirrored?

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And is there comfort there? I think the reason those stories, Ninja Turtles included, resonate.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Is because they help us cope and understand and make peace with challenging feelings.

[Christina P]

Totally. Okay, well, go ahead. Just the last one. I'll be vast.

[Pete Holmes]

Please. You're breaking my heart.

[Christina P]

I really, really loved this, and I think you did, too. It was at the very end, some woman asked, why do we forget like, that we get in this space and then why do we forget?

[Pete Holmes]

Like, if we are awareness, what's the point of forgetting?

[Val]

Exactly.

[Christina P]

And. And, like, what?

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Why do we do it? And he said, because infinite conscious. Well, he said, because the eternal is in love with time. So infinite consciousness can't do anything but give itself completely to manifestation, to creation.

[Pete Holmes]

To duality, which is time, light, dark, time, past, present.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Life, death.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Light, dark, good, bad.

[Christina P]

So it's, like, so in love with that experience that it gives itself entirely and loses Itself into it, into that experience. And she said, wow, I think I've. I've been thinking of forgetting as a mistake. And he said, no, it's not a mistake. It's a sacrifice. That infinite consciousness, you, who you are.

[Pete Holmes]

It pays a price.

[Christina P]

Pays a price to get to experience all this stuff.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

The dance for Lila.

[Val]

Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

So it is. It. The pain and the loss and the ugliness, and all that is the price it pays because it can't help but pour itself like.

[Christina P]

Like a mother and a. A baby, you know, like.

[Pete Holmes]

Like it wrecks your body. You worry about 20 years.

[Christina P]

You won't have peace for 20 years or even beyond. But if you ask, you know, any mother, most mothers said, any mother, it's like, of course it's.

[Pete Holmes]

So why did you do it? But that's why having a baby is so mystical and magical. It's like, why would you do that?

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And having done it, I'm like, yeah, no, your head doesn't get to come.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

To all the great things, your head doesn't get to come.

[Val]

That's right.

[Christina P]

And it is exactly life. Like, it really is. Our friends just went through, like, such a hard time of just, like, being really sick and being in, like, this very dark place. And she and I were talking, and she's like, you know, when you're in that space where you're just like, this is all, like, all of. All of this life. And then you think back on, like, but what about the beautiful things? And in that space, you're like, it's not worth it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

But then, you know, of course you come out of it, and you're like, oh, of course it's worth it. But, like, it's. It's that feeling. You're like, so. And. And my friends who. And look, it's everybody's choice. There's no. There's no better or worse choice.

[Pete Holmes]

Going to medical school is the same thing. Learning how to paint.

[Christina P]

Exactly. There are. There are other things.

[Pete Holmes]

This is why we're always trying to teach Lila that everything she wants is on the other side of something she doesn't want.

[Christina P]

That's right. And my friend who doesn't have a kid will listen to all of her, you know, the mom, friends complaining about how hard it is, or, like, what's going on about, you know, and she's like, you guys really, like, make this seem super not chill, you know, and you're. And I've explained to her once, but I was like, the thing that we're not saying is that we're absolutely head over heels in love and would do everything over again, a hundred percent. Like, no question. But we don't have to say that because we know that it's the complaining like, that we need to get out.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Christina P]

And it's exactly how. How I feel about life. Like, it really is. Like, of course, life is. Is so hard and really tragic sometimes and really shitty. But, like, really, you're in love, so it makes sense.

[Pete Holmes]

It's funny, because Rupert is the cleanest expression of my thought system. And then, of course, In Miracles is like, when I get the question, what do you do with evil? What about all this madness? Yeah, that's when I'm like, oh, I'm glad you asked, because we can talk about A Course in Miracles. And that's why I talked about Eckhart. Tolle gave that talk on 9 11. Like, on the morning of 9 11, he was scheduled to do a talk. And that's. That's pretty. That's kind of who I go to. Eckhart loves A Course in Miracles, and I love. He can talk about collective insanity and the ego and the madness and all that sort of stuff. That's really helpful. But, you know, choosing one thing, what Rupert would call the pathless path, path of just returning to yourself, that's what I've been doing, is like, what's more natural? Last night, I was driving home, I was tired, and I was like, I heard Rupert's voice, so I was trying to be in my awareness as I do in the car. It's a nice time to do it. And he goes, it takes effort to just simply be yourself. And I'm like, but I'm tired. So, like, it's something you have to do, or is it something you just are? And I'm like, when he says, it's a relaxing. It's like. Like we stretch our awareness, our attention, like a rubber band towards objects. Like, I'm stretching it to you right now. And I even believe the word attention breaks down to something like stretching. And he goes, coming back to yourself is. Is a relaxation of effort. And I was like, oh, my God, it's so simple and clean and beautiful.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Real quick. I did meet him afterwards. He was so. I didn't see a lot of this when he was on stage, so it's fun to share that. He just seemed so light and, like, joyful. And when I say childlike, I don't mean childish, but he seemed kind of giddy and happy. And I told him somebody else a Nice man who worked at the temple named Brady introduced us and said I was a comedian with a special on Netflix, which delighted me. And he goes, oh, special on Netflix. Write it down, write it down. And I was just like, that's someone who goes, if there's no separation, of course I'm excited about what's important to you.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I mean? And I wrote it down and it was so sweet. And then, like, I did say I have some jokes that are inspired by him. And he was like, so you're stealing from me? And then I was like, well, you stole it. And then he laughed. But then, like, I don't even remember exactly what, but, you know, I left. And I didn't say we have friends in common. I didn't ask him the one question that I thought was very cool and kind of about comedy and also what he does. I just kind of like got the sense that he'd been talking for eight hours. And I was like, nice to meet you. And I walked away without being like, what are you doing for dinner? I was like, I have enough.

[Christina P]

Yeah, gonna leave.

[Pete Holmes]

And then I got in the car and I did immediately have like this sort of regret of like, oh, I could have this and this and this. And then I was like, wow. On the ride back from a spiritual one day retreat, already I'm going like, and he doesn't like me. I blew it. And then I'm like, what is the nature of the eye? That says, I think he doesn't like me? And in the car, sun setting over San Francisco, and it worked. And it's not about working. It's not just a stress technique, and it's not just a thought system. When you get, as I've said a million times, curious about the nature of your spacious self, that self we were talking about with your eyes closed, you start to get more familiar with its attributes. And its attributes are joy and peace. And you go, this is something that I took from the retreat that I keep saying, no object of perception, nothing you can see or touch, taste, or interact with anything can give you what you're looking for.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I was like, wow. And that means it's right here. In fact, it's only right here. And you just go, stop looking. That's the whisper of the Buddha. It's like, stop looking.

[Christina P]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

Stop. Stop looking.

[Val]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's Jesus too. I'm always with you and everything I have is yours. And you start going like, oh, my God. And that does lead to our epiphany, which I'll do real fast because I have to pack for Bloomington, Indiana. When we were on this trip, I almost choked, as I often always do. I'm always kind of almost choking.

[Christina P]

You're bad at eating.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I. I just don't think the canal is as moist as it used to be.

[Christina P]

Oh, God.

[Pete Holmes]

So I. I had this choking moment and I didn't really think I was going to die, but there was a moment of like, oh, no. And it really experientially became clear to me that, like, when we die, that will be in the present moment. And I've said that a million times, and this is a little bit uncomfortable to talk about, but it's like I catch myself usually when I think about my death. In fact, one of the reasons I think we portray death so much in our art is because we want a third person relationship with death. We want to see the person in the bed and they fade out, but it's not us. But when it's you, let me tell you, what you don't often see in movies is subjective camera, meaning the character's point of view, and they die. Yeah, that's not fun. And when I was choking, I was like, oh, fuck. Like, the joke of it was I thought of death, you know, in the black robe, being like, is now a good time? And it's never a good time, right? And we sort of understandably go like, no, there's better ones and worse ones and all that sort of stuff. But like, in the same way that this conversation in these chairs, in this room is the only thing that's happening. So too brannis for me now, so too will your end, your final moment will also be in the moment. And this is a scary part, but it gets better is I. I'm in the hot tub eating caviar, and I'm like. And the words, I don't have a life came to me and the piece of that. Oh my God, the piece of that. And I kind of heard Rupert's voice. He never said this, but, like, going, show me your life. When you say my life, what do you mean? And it's kind of like without reference to the past. Yeah, what do you mean? And we're born. We seem to be born and we seem to die. That's the good news is I don't think you die. I don't think infinite awareness goes anywhere. He says it unravels back into itself. And if you identify with yourself, that's a death and it's frightening. But if you identify with infinite awareness, Nothing happens to infinite awareness. That's what he said about death. And I was like, it's us that. Like a ball of silly putty, take the story of our birth, and we stretch it to the present moment. And we go, that's my life. But that's just a story. It's just something we do. We go, well, there was yesterday and there was. And this is all stuff we've said before, but I had the experience of profoundly going, like, I don't have a life. I only have this moment. And I've said that a million times, but it was the experience of it. The choking experience made me realize that, like, this is the only still frame through which all experience flows through. And that's all well and good, but then Brody, classically, who annoys me very much, was following me as I was making my lunch or whatever, and I was like, that's only annoying if I'm defending something called my life. And I don't have a life. I don't have a life. It's been. It's. It's another way of saying, like, you gotta die before you die. It's another way of saying, he who tries to gain his life will lose it, but he who loses it will gain it.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

It's also another way of saying all that exists is. Exists is this moment.

[Pete Holmes]

And there's a fear to that. If you don't. If you don't. If I don't do the work in getting curious about what I am. Because if the moment only exists for Pete, then I'm really. If I'm having a bad moment, everything sucks. Like, I'm choking.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But if you go, but I'm not that. I am the space that holds all that. And that takes a lot of those. A lot of inquiry, self inquiry. But a lot of people have these awakening experiences. Ramana Maharshi, from death, indeed. I think thought he was dying.

[Christina P]

Ajashanti.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know what. It's. The white guy with the bald head.

[Christina P]

I think it's Ajashanti.

[Pete Holmes]

Ajashanti, yeah. But these people. Like, I think he was in a tent, and he just thought he was dying. And he had a voice that was like, okay. And he. And he said yes to it. He did the tantric approach, and he got really close to it. Then he didn't die, but he did die. And that's it. And it was like. And that's baptism, and that's psychedelics, and that's whatever. A lot of these things give us that experience. But the experience of seeing Rupert choking and then the relaxed state I was in the hot tub. And whatever the other practices I'm doing finally kind of congealed in this way. And the. I hope it gives people some. Some peace. I don't have a life means what I am. What I really am is life, is being. Is being itself. It's not going anywhere. It's not doing anything. Nothing can happen to it. Of course, in Miracles is all about that. It's like, your son is eternally safe. And it's like, oh, yet I'm the one protecting the drawn out silly putty. And I'm like, it's not here. Show it to me. Show me your life. Oh, I don't have a life. Then you don't have anything to defend. I have the chills. It's like, there's nothing to defend. You can't disrespect someone who doesn't have a life.

[Christina P]

And you can't lose something you don't have already.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right. You lose the perception of a life, but what you really are is eternally the same.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then you just can take it less seriously. The Buddhists have the idea of meditation, of being hollow like bamboo. You want to be hollow. The Buddhists also have the expression, no self, no problem. That's what. That's what was finally kind of coming into my experience.

[Val]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Because I was like, no self.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Show me. Pete, even if I played you videos of my life and were fascinated with trying to capture it, it's not. It's not really. It's not really it. Now we're just in the moment watching a video. What?

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't have a life. It's beautiful. You are life. That's peace.

[Christina P]

No self, no problem.

[Pete Holmes]

No self, no problem.

[Christina P]

No woman, no cry.

[Pete Holmes]

You are a delight to me. An absolute delight.

[Christina P]

That's beautiful, baby. Thank you for sharing that.

[Pete Holmes]

I gotta go.

[Christina P]

Okay. Got a life to live.

[Pete Holmes]

I. I actually am enjoying this. The Netflix special airing and people finding it and so many people sharing it. Very emotional that. That. Very, very emotional that people really came out of the woodwork and shared it. I had to. It's vulnerable to ask. And the. The. The people who didn't, some of them were like, I don't want to. It's fine. And then.

[Christina P]

But I don't want it.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I was gonna say a lot of people were like, with what's going on in the world, I feel corny being like, watch this special. I completely get that.

[Christina P]

Sure.

[Pete Holmes]

And then some people other reasons, but, like, a lot of people showed up, and it was very. It's like the end of the wizard of Oz. It's very like we're all. Oh, really? And some Nikki Glazer posted. I didn't even ask her to.

[Christina P]

Oh, that's really.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I messaged her. I was like, the. No ask. Share. I was like, you're all class, Glazer. That's incredible.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So it was very sweet. And where was I going with this?

[Christina P]

Just the. The special. It feels good. Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, now I'm going to Bloomington, Indiana.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I like this. I'll be in a green room with no bathroom.

[Val]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, like a small club. And I. It sounds like I'm. I don't know what it sounds like, but I'm not going. I'm not always going to Jonathan Scott's house to play cards. Sometimes you go and smell chicken fingers and you tell some jokes, and I'm excited for both energies, so.

[Val]

Yeah, it's gonna be fun.

[Christina P]

It's a nice balance. All right, cool. Well, just make sure that. That you keep it crispy.