We Made It Weird #200

Summary

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You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Episode: We Made It Weird #200

Published: December 6, 2024

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Episode Overview

In their 200th "We Made It Weird" episode, Pete Holmes and his wife/recurring co-host Valerie get back to classic "You Made It Weird" roots: deep-diving comedy process, dissecting the differences in comedic and musical sensibilities, musing about the weird details of life, and—especially in this episode—spiraling into metaphysical territory with an enthusiastic review of the "Telepathy Tapes" podcast. The conversation flows from light-hearted banter about carnivals and comedy setlists into discussions about aesthetic preferences, psychological safety, and possible paradigm-shifting insights about consciousness and nonverbal communication.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. A Comedy Episode—With Guitar! (05:18)

• Pete wields a guitar throughout, launching musical riffs and jokes.
• Valerie and Pete joke about the trope of comedians bringing guitars on stage and never playing them as a bit ("I've seen comedians that tune the entire set and they never play it. Really funny and frustrating." - Pete, 05:56).
• The episode's tone is playful, meta, and self-referential.

2. Comedy Setlists & Process (15:17–24:57)

• Pete gives a behind-the-scenes look at how he structures his stand-up setlists:
  • “On the left [of the setlist] are the mains… On the right, you put bits that you can do at any point—little finger foods.” (Pete, 17:36)
  • Valerie is fascinated by Pete's mysterious piles of crumpled and annotated setlists—a system she compares to her own method of laundry piles.
  • Pete discusses the superstitions and rituals around keeping or discarding setlists (19:38).
  • Philosophizes about the difference between comedians who never retire an act (e.g., Jay Leno) and those who always pursue new material (e.g., Bill Burr):
    • "Jay just wants the gig. He doesn't want to retire his sword. I'm more—I'd rather discover new stuff." (Pete, 23:04)

3. Comedy Legends, Styles, and Sensibilities (27:27–34:07)

• A warm homage to Jack Black and Tenacious D:
  • "Jack Black is the only person who's ever made me laugh with a guitar riff." (Valerie, 27:43)
  • They compare Jack Black to John Belushi and Chris Farley, exploring the archetype of the "barrel-chested, comedic, musical little guy."
• A split between “Belushi types” (all-in, physical, trying to be cool) and “Murray types” (lateral, sarcastic, on the sideline):
  • "It’s safer to be quiet. If you're acting like Jack Black near horses, you're in danger." (Pete, 31:04)
  • Valerie is not a Blues Brothers fan, sees herself as more Steve Martin ("I want silly, not just crashing in and doing a cartwheel," 31:44).

4. Aesthetics, Celebrity Crushes & Changing Tastes (49:09–56:59)

• The duo breaks down their youthful celebrity crushes and how maturing changes what we find attractive.
  • "My taste in attraction has gotten more nuanced and a little messier… when your sexuality is budding, you want a safe harbor at the beginning." (Valerie, 53:03)
• Jude Law, Jon Hamm, and Michael Fassbender: Which “store” do these archetypes come from?
• The “Kenner Barbie” ideal in early attractions versus nuance and humanity later.

5. Mind, Telepathy, and the Mystical

The Telepathy Tapes Podcast Discussion (58:00–74:41)

• Pete and Valerie are both mind-blown advocates for "The Telepathy Tapes," a podcast chronicling evidence and firsthand stories of nonverbal autistic people demonstrating telepathy and psychic abilities—often replicable, tested, and confirmed.
  • "It's a must-listen. Absolutely life-changing, paradigm-changing. I think we're on the precipice of something huge." (Pete, 69:44)
• Examples from Telepathy Tapes:
  • Nonverbal children and adults accurately reciting thoughts, numbers, and words from family and strangers, even under strict scientific conditions.
  • The recurring concept of "the Hill"—a psychic meeting place alluded to by multiple nonverbal communicators (70:09).
  • Connections to animal consciousness (e.g., elephants mourning a human benefactor, dogs predicting arrivals).
  • Stories of psychic or medium-like phenomena after near-death experiences.
  • Discussion of consciousness, nonduality, and what these insights might mean spiritually.
• Valerie: "It's so much evidence that at a certain point, I was like, I don't need any more. I believe this." (61:38)
• Pete reflects: "The last shall be first. It's these dismissed people... It’s beautiful." (74:19)

6. Miscellaneous Quirks & Quotables

• Valerie’s confession: "I'm a carnival girl. I used to go to the Kern County Fair every summer," (12:42); Pete admits he loves those off-beat, Americana spaces.
• Pete and Valerie muse about not noticing people's clothes but honing in on details like hands or faces (44:42).
• Running gags about Margot Robbie, shifting attraction, Bill Murray’s general style, callbacks to earlier parts of their conversation.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Setlists:

  • "The left is the mains... on the right, you put bits you can do at any point. There’s entrees, and then there’s finger foods." (Pete, 17:36)
  • "I think Jay’s kind of spectrumy, not diagnosing him—just hyper-practical. If you have an hour of material, just do it forever." (Pete, 23:12)
  • “Fuck a year. It’s how I feel about podcasts. Be done when you’re done talking. Finish your hour when you’re done.” (Pete, 24:50)

• On Comedy Archetypes:

  • "Jack Black…he’s the only person that’s ever made me laugh with a riff." (Valerie, 27:43)
  • "If you're acting like Jack Black near horses, you're in danger." (Pete, 31:04)

• On Spiritual Paradigms:

  • "We're on the precipice, if I may say, precipice of something—there’s an even more interesting intelligence brewing." (Pete, 69:44)
  • "The last shall be first. It’s these dismissed people… That’s so beautiful.” (Valerie, 74:19)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 05:18 – Episode launches; “Guitar episode” announcement; the mood is set!
• 16:46-20:30 – Deep dive on setlists, process, and comedian rituals.
• 27:27-34:07 – Comedy archetypes; Jack Black, Belushi, Murray, and style psychology.
• 49:09-56:59 – Sex appeal, changing tastes, and “the Barbie/Kenner” of youthful crushes.
• 58:00-74:41 – In-depth discussion of "The Telepathy Tapes," psychic phenomena, nonverbal communication, and mind-bending anecdotes.
• 74:35 – Brief, glowing review of Solvang, California, and a “keep it extra crispy” send-off.

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Final Thoughts

This milestone episode blends Pete and Valerie’s playful rapport with signature “weird” curiosities—offering both a peek into the artistry/labor of comedy and a genuine openness to life's mysteries. The extended, rapturous endorsement of "The Telepathy Tapes" gives the episode an unusual sense of philosophical and spiritual wonderment, marking it as a special installment even within the show's ever-weird canon.

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For Further Curiosity:

• Podcast Recommendation: [The Telepathy Tapes] (heavily referenced and endorsed in this episode)
• Comedian References: Bill Burr, Jay Leno, Steven Wright, Chris Farley, John Belushi, Jack Black/Tenacious D
• Misc Major Themes: Creative process, shifting personal tastes, vulnerability, epistemology, metaphysical possibilities

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"Keep it extra crispy, everybody… because of the paradigm shift." – (Valerie, 74:56; Pete, 74:58)

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Transcript

[A]

You made it with. You made it with.

[B]

You made it with. Oh, yeah, you made it with. Yes, you made it weird. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

[A]

What's happening, weirdos? You freaky dicks.

[B]

I know I say it every week, but this is an extra special one. I love this one.

[A]

This one was great. We talked a lot about a comedy, actually.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We haven't done that in a while. I know there aren't a lot of areas that you and I haven't covered, and I think that was very interesting. Kind of classic. You made it weird. Creativity, comedy talk. And then also just like all the wonderful things. I love this one. This is one that I think you and I will throw on in the car because it's. It's. It's fun. It's wonderful.

[A]

It's fun. And if you couldn't tell, there's a guitar that has been in. In Pete's hands the entire episode.

[B]

Yeah. So I'm really lit up for that. I'm lit up and it's funny and it's silly and I'm really glad you guys are here. Portland. Both shows sold out. Seattle, I think is close to selling out. Indianapolis this weekend that you're hearing this. I'm there currently is close to selling out. I hope if it's not, go to peteholmes.com There are other dates. Believe Arizona. I don't know, guys. Just, just. And. And Largo. Largo on December 11, which is going to be awesome. So all my tour dates are on PeteHomes.com and before we roll into the episode, we're going to have a word from our sponsors. These are real things that we really like and we really love and enjoy. That's how I like to do the ads and feel good about them. These are things we like, so try them or. It's the gift giving season. Give it to someone you know who likes this podcast or doesn't. It helps us keep the lights on, as they say. Katie, roll that beautiful bean footage. This episode is brought to us by our friends at Hostage Tape. It has absolutely changed my life. Maybe you've seen it online. It's mouth tape because you should be doing nose breathing. Why? When I sleep, 20% more oxygen. Reduce. Reduce the risk of sleep apnea. It really helps with snoring. In my case, eliminating it entire. It even helps with oral hygiene and bad breath. Last time I went to the dentist, they asked me, are you a nose breather or a mouth breather? They want you to be a nose breather, especially during those eight hours while you were asleep. So hostage tape mouth tape has made my sleep so much deeper. I thought it would make me feel claustrophobic or trapped. It is not that way at all. You put it over your mouth for some reason. Your brain just gets the message the bridge is closed, take the tunnel or the tunnel is closed, take the bridge if you like. The bridge nose pun there immediately made my sleep so much better, so much deeper. How do I know? I feel fantastic in the morning and I dream so much more. And you only dream when you're in that good, good REM sleep hostage tape. I tried it once and I'm hooked for life. Other brands by the way, for some reason I tried a different brand of hostage tape years ago. Smelled like chemicals. It didn't come off easily in the morning. They've dialed it in. It's high quality, it doesn't stink, it feels great and it comes off easily in the morning. The official sleep sleep aid of UFC for a reason. So you can get a six month supply for 99 bucks. That's saving $50 when you go to hostagetape.com weird this is the only place where you can get this deal. For the six month bundle of hostage tape go to hostagetape.com weird and sleep better tonight. We're also brought to you. This show is sponsored by Better Help. How are you guys staying cozy now that it's the winter? Some people watch Love actually, some people watch the family stone. Some people sit by a fire with a cup of cocoa. Well, therapy is a great way to bring yourself some comfort that never goes away, even when the seasons change. And if you're like me, around the winter time, around the holiday time can be a psychologically complicated time. For me, that's when a lot of feelings kick up. And talk therapy is how I have coped and dealt and learned to manage and and navigate those complicated feelings. So better Help is a wonderful way to try therapy if you've been thinking of giving it a try. We talk about therapy on the show all the time. It's changed my life. Can help you through relationships, romantic relationships, relationships with family members work give you that boost to help you know what you need, what you're lacking and what you need to do to get what you're after. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give Better Help a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. All you do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist. You can even switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. So find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com weirdo today they get 10% off your first month. That's better. Help. H E L p.com weirdo all right, everybody. We're so glad you're here. Valerie, get into it. Hey. Hey. It's a guitar episode.

[A]

Oh, good. You lucky duck.

[B]

Oh, no. Can you try and sing it? Lovely.

[A]

Sing that lovely.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

It'S a guitar episode.

[A]

Do your realest voice. That was pretty real.

[B]

You do it. No, I'm always doing it.

[A]

Oh, on you.

[B]

Well, look, right off the bat, I.

[A]

Would love it if we didn't hear.

[B]

The guitar the rest of the episode. Like, did he put it down? Yeah. Somebody has to have done that. I think I've seen comedians that tune the entire set and they never play it really funny and frustrating.

[A]

But they're. Are they doing it as a bit?

[B]

Oh, yeah. As a bit.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I think that's. I still find, like, I. One of the things you can easily trigger in me, even if it's fake, is like, just do it. Like. Like, I don't.

[A]

Yes. Recently feel that way about. We watched. Oh, Moana too.

[B]

Go on the adventure.

[A]

The adventure.

[B]

Go on the adventure. Who look, full respect pics. It's not Pixar, It's Disney. Like, full respect.

[A]

I think it is Pixar.

[B]

Disney.

[A]

I think it is.

[B]

Picture Disney. Do you recall a lamp running out?

[A]

No, you're right. Wow. It's so good for Disney.

[B]

Disney's great. Disney's Frozen.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Disney's Frozen.

[A]

I know, but Disney's great. It's no Pixar.

[B]

Hold the fucking phone. What I'm saying is, I think. Remember when the Office, the American office, came out?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I can't believe my. I'm glad. I applaud you. My brain, when my brain is functioning properly, what I notice first is its ability to make connections. That's how I can tell I'm rested, how I can tell I'm in a good mood. And I found it. I put in the request. One of those, like, the elf mailroom.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I sent it up.

[A]

Very sucky.

[B]

And I'm like. Often it doesn't come back because I'm pretty tired. It came back. Here's the perfect comparison for how I feel about what you're saying. Re Disney not being as good as Pixar.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That attitude, young lady, I'm going to wage, I'm going to suggest. Needs an update in the same Way that when the Office came out on NBC for a good year, year and a half, we were all saying, you know, I obviously, I prefer the British Office. You know what I mean?

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's. The British office is Pixar and the American office is Disney.

[A]

But Disney was the original. Disney's the original.

[B]

I understand, but it's Disney digital. It's like.

[A]

It's a new Disney.

[B]

It's a new frontier.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Brave, I'm pretty sure. No, Brave is Pixar.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I think it starts to blur, is my point. I think most people.

[A]

I will agree with that. Well, clearly, I thought Moana was Pixar.

[B]

Yeah. And boy, it would be funny if it is. But I'm pretty sure it's not Toy Stories. Pixar. Fucking Wall E. No, they. They. I'm not saying they had a good run.

[A]

I'm just saying Inside Out.

[B]

They're not the only game in town. I know. I'm gonna go and say that DreamWorks is doing some incred. The fucking wild robot is DreamWorks.

[A]

Yeah. DreamWorks is starting to step up.

[B]

DreamWorks starting Shrek.

[A]

Shrek, Right.

[B]

But I guess Shrek came out at a time when nothing was good.

[A]

Cannot be compared to Wall E and Inside out and the best of Pixar.

[B]

Well, I'm fascinated with what we're talking about. God, I didn't plug in the fucking computer and it keeps going to sleep. The fuck computer, man. That was an overreaction. What I'm saying is Shrek like a carnival. We went to a carnival and we were with our friend Till. And I love Till, and Till is German. I'm always asking. I love evoking. Just like my father. Till's Germanness. I can't go a conversation without referencing Till. Use your German logic. That's an example.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And he's such a good sport about it. And I was like, we're walking around this carnival and all carnivals are the same. We've talked about this on this podcast before. You see a lot of airbrushed T shirts of Biggie and Tupac together and a pile of money. And for some reason Yoda's there smoking a blunt. There's just a. And that's not code for hip hop fans. I mean, there's like. I'm just saying sometimes your. What I think people might think often.

[A]

Your disclaimers are the first time it's occurring to anyone that would meet.

[B]

I think there was a time when you're like, they have an airbrushed teeth of Biggie and Tupac. You. You just mean a certain type a hip hop.

[A]

We're talking more about airbrush than we're talking about who it's of.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

You're welcome.

[B]

And I'm talking more about love of money and weed, which transcends what kind of music you like. Yeah, but it's very corn with a K. Yeah. To broaden it.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

And you know, we've covered this. It's very like. Go and be titillated.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Go and be afraid. Go and be thrilled. Go and lose your money at the wicked games of chance. And when you go to a carnival, you tend. I tend. I'm in a bubble. And I tend to see people that I maybe wouldn't see otherwise. And I lean into till. Meaning, you know, the fried dough community.

[A]

Okay, we know what you mean. You don't have to keep giving examples. You know, the fried dough offending everybody. I know people loves a good fare.

[B]

I also love affair.

[A]

You might as well call it a carnival.

[B]

Or you might as well say carney, which sounds so bad. I don't like saying carny.

[A]

No, I think it is bad. I don't think.

[B]

No, I. I don't need culture to tell me carny's bad. I don't like it. Yeah, but there was a time Shrek, Austin Powers. Carnies. Little hands.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Smell like cabbage.

[A]

So how else does the.

[B]

Okay, so anyway, I say to. I say to Tillman, I go, just embrace the Americana is what I lean into. Because to not be a total piece of shit. I love these people. And I love carnival. Carnivals. I'm into it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wouldn't change it. I don't want them to fucking be goddamn fucking LA Sashimi. People like me. So I'm enjoying it. I like it. But it is a different scene. And I lean into till and I go, just soak in the America. The American ness. And he goes, it's exactly the same in Germany.

[A]

He told me that too.

[B]

Really? He goes. It doesn't matter where you go. The carnival people.

[A]

Yes. There's carnival people everywhere.

[B]

And I don't wanna say carnival people. I'm just saying there's that.

[A]

That community.

[B]

That community that deserves love and respect.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But, you know, maybe really wants an oversized Stewie like off brand Stowy Griffith fumely goo. And they'll spend all their money to toss a baseball into a metal feed bin.

[A]

I mean, not being a piece of shit you really are, especially because I hate to tell you, but you married a carnival girl.

[B]

You married a carnival girl.

[A]

I Used to go to the Kern County Fair every summer.

[B]

No, that's. Well, yeah.

[A]

And. And not only that, but we had season passes to Six Flags, and I one time.

[B]

I don't have a problem with that.

[A]

Well, Six Flags is one giant fair, like county fair. It's. It's like if a. If you made a county fair an amusement park with real roller coasters, but the vibe is county fairy.

[B]

I know what you mean.

[A]

It's games, and I want.

[B]

It's extra special.

[A]

One of those tall Dr. Seuss hats when I was, like, 10, and I wore it every time I went to Six Flags. Sorry.

[B]

Yeah, well, this actually speaks to the snob. Is that like, the snob? Like, there was this old New Yorker cartoon where it was like, I don't like feeling feelings where I have to make faces that are unbecoming or something. It was some joke, like that old, old New Yorker cartoon.

[A]

This is a great thing to be saying. After I was like, I had season passes to Six Flags and WORE A giant Dr. Seuss hat. And you're like, well, this is a New Yorker cartoon that says, I don't like feeling feelings to make faces that are unbecoming.

[B]

Yeah. Let me relate to your giant floppy Jamiroquai fucking fair hat. It still has powdered sugar on the rim from every hand food you were eating after holding onto the slimy, greasy bar of some ride that hasn't been cleaned. I like you.

[A]

I know.

[B]

No, I know you know, but I mean it. And I. What was I gonna say? I just saw the name Howie Mandel on my whiteboard, and it threw me for a loop.

[A]

Yeah, you really shouldn't be facing your whiteboard.

[B]

Don't look at the whiteboard. It says Howie Mandel for some reason.

[A]

We don't know why. We don't know why it said that since 2013.

[B]

Sometimes I. I have that with set lists. I have that with my whiteboard. I look at things and I'm like, why does it say I could look at other stuff, but I don't want to?

[A]

Your set lists. The set. Your set lists are to you what the laundry situation in our house is to me where, like, I truly believe. Tell me that you look at our laundry room and it makes sense because I'm the one that does all the laundry, you weird flex. But I think that's a deserved flex.

[B]

Okay. I just like saying weird flex.

[A]

I'm sure you look at it and, you know, there's just different hampers of clothes, and there's also clothes in the dryer. Clothes in the washer that are dry, that I haven't put on, like, turned on yet.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And usually a pile of clothes on top of.

[B]

It's madness. You're saying it's madness.

[A]

It's madness. But it makes perfect sense to me. I know exactly what piles are clean and dirty and, like, where in what order they're gonna get washed. And that's what your set lists are to me. I see your set lists, and I go, you have, like, stacks of them, and they're just.

[B]

No, I know there's one right here.

[A]

They're just. Some of them are typed, some of them aren't. There's circles. There's like. You can't. Like, some of them look very old, but I'll see recent bits on them. You know, it's like, look. Look at this pile.

[B]

This is insane. Show me. Oh, there's a bunch of good ones.

[A]

If we were like, one of those podcasts, like, where you could see that had, like, an Instagram, we say, I'll.

[B]

Put it in the grab.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. But this is, like, it's crumpled. It's insanity. And they're all folded quadrants.

[B]

Yeah, that's important.

[A]

And. But do you use. Do you write on the inside? You do write on the inside. See, I never even knew that.

[B]

Yeah, we're learning. We're learning. We're loving, I have to say. Well, I just did a pitch this morning, and it went very well, and I had to make a set list for that. And I. Look, I'm kind of. Kind of. I'm pretty manic right now, but. But I'm saying the ability to. That we all have. I just think we all should, like, keep it alive is, like, to look at bullet points and interpret them and see one word and know the 75 words that it represents is so helpful.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Because I've been on other pitches. Not putting these people down. It's just not my style where people read a script, and I'm just like, what? You have to, like, connect. You have to. So bullet points. And that's what standup is, is in a set list. But let me tell you this. That. That was kind of a sn. Here's something hopefully more interesting about set lists is I love putting the bulk of the bits that you want to do. Let's say you want to talk about hot air balloons, and you want to talk about Starbucks. Then you want to talk about butter. So it says balloons, Starbucks, butter, in big block letters on the left. But what I love about a set list and the way that I do it is on the right, you put bits that you can do at any point. So it might say wick. And that means at any point, any point you can say, I just found out you poop your pants when you die. That really changed the John Wick movies for me.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And it's like this. There's the entrees, but then there's these little finger foods. And sometimes that has been such a lifesaver. And then your brain knows which side of the list to look at, depending on what kind of pinch you're in.

[A]

Wow, that's really cool. That's very smart. So on this one, what if I.

[B]

Didn'T do it on this one?

[A]

So you're saying the left hand side is.

[B]

The left is the mains.

[A]

The mains. Okay. So. So then we have airport pee. Dick's wild.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you, when you go to the airport, you see all different styles of pee because it's international peers, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You might see a Sweden in there. You might see like pants at the ankles. Butt out. I saw a guy with his, his hands on his, on his hips like Wonder Woman. And he was oscillating. No hands. The new part of that bit is I go. That tells you a lot about his dick. It was like a pendulum. Heavy at the base and straight.

[A]

You don't do that if there's a curve. That's what you say.

[B]

Yeah. You don't do that if there's a curve. I couldn't do that. I got a curve. What is the overshare?

[A]

What is the.

[B]

I'll Eubanks myself.

[A]

But it's not the direction you'd think. Okay, so where is my ding dong?

[B]

Yeah, I don't. That, that was a weird one for me. That actually felt like an overshare. What. What's up?

[A]

What, like, what's the strategy for what is boxed off?

[B]

You're sweet. That's like. Don't forget a lot of it. This is just like your laundry system. It really is. It's like. And if we really need to wash something, put it in its own little area. Maybe that's how I do it. Yeah, but I, I. And the other. Maybe this is a snooze. But the other thing that I love about set list, and I did it this morning when I was making the set list for the pitch is you have to do it fresh even if the set list is the same. But then if you have a really good set, you'll keep that one for a while. Like I Have another set list in my pocket. It was a good set. I'll keep that for a while then. If you have a bad set with a set list, there is a. I wouldn't call it superstition, but you're just kind of like, I didn't like the way that one looked. It didn't work for me. It has nothing to do with the set list. I feel the same way about a pair of pants or sneakers. Right, but you're looking for some semblance of control.

[A]

But how often are you rewriting set lists and how often are you reusing them? Do you rewrite one? You don't rewrite one every time?

[B]

No, not every time. Every Largo.

[A]

Every Largo you do?

[B]

Every largo I do. That's huge. But, like, if I'm doing okay, I hope this is interesting. I think this is interesting to people. Zero stakes. It's one of my favorite things. If you're just doing a set in the city where it's not your show, I'm going to the Comedy Store. I'm going where I was just did a show kind of about 30 minutes outside of San Diego. Do that show doesn't matter. It's not your bill, it's not your ticket. You're just a guest on the show. You can do anything. That's when you reuse a set list.

[A]

That makes sense.

[B]

And when I do a weekend, use the same set list the whole time. If you make little changes, you're doing.

[A]

Them at the beginning of the weekend.

[B]

Well, look, last time I'm going to say, I hope this is interesting. The best thing that happens, but it's also kind of sad is that when you have an hour set list, that's what the typed ones are. The typed ones are hours.

[A]

Ah. The typed ones are hours.

[B]

So those go on the floor. And they have to be big enough for me to read from 6 foot 6. So they have to be bigger than my handwriting and Boulder. And I have to be able to read them with a glance. And these, you know, it's a different system, but it's actually. It is the same. Like the Saint is a joke that can go anywhere. And you'll see that's to the right. Dog is to the right. And then there's certain ones that are underlined. Those are don't forgets. But then when you get your hour. Cause I'm about to film my hour. Both shows in Portland are sold out, by the way. Thank you so much, everybody. So I'm looking forward to filming that. And one of the ways that I know that it's done is the set list stops changing. Oh, so it's a sad way to say that is it's plateaued. It's now done. But then. So I'm going to Indianapolis tomorrow, and the set list for Indianapolis will be the same set list from Raleigh. I might. Well, I might change it a little bit, but, like, it's. It's done. And then you're in this really sweet spot where so much of stand up is what those handwritten set lists look like. It's constantly changing. There's a lot of experimentation. There's, you know, adapting. And then once it's a thing, it becomes kind of like a sword. And you're like, I will take my sword to Indianapolis. Right, And I will use my sword. But you're not like, how do I open? How do I close? You don't need a light. I don't. I don't usually get a light anyway. But I know where I am in the set. And it. One of the most interesting things to me is it starts to anticipate the lulls. And that's where you'll put a line like that John Wick line, because that's usually where there's a lull, like in the last hour that's. You ever have to poop so bad you pee? Second, there's a lull here, so put it there to lift it, and it starts becoming like a piece of music. But you're not wondering what the notes are or the moves are. You're just restructuring them and then you have it. And then that's why, like, Jay Leno never filmed a special because he just liked having his act. And I think that's. I don't. That's not my thing. I like doing a new one every year, but, like, I get it. He didn't want to retire his sword.

[A]

Wait, he. He did the same act?

[B]

I'm pretty sure he does this. Look, no shots fired here, but I think Jay Leno.

[A]

I'm not judging you. That's just so funny.

[B]

We can judge. It's a little bit fun to judge me, isn't it? I thought all these isophiles.

[A]

We'Re gonna triangle to be.

[B]

He doesn't know Gareth Reynolds. You will bury us all we love. So funny. But I think Jay's kind of spectrumy. I'm not diagnosing him. I'm just saying hyper practical. Okay, let's say approaches. If you have an hour of material, just do it forever.

[A]

But how does he not get Sick of that.

[B]

I don't think that's a consideration. So this week, the episode that came out was Steven Wright. So that we're recording it before it came out, but it'll have come out, and there's just different styles. I'm doing it for, like, chasing that connection. I want everybody to merge, and I also want to feel really good and excited at a discovery. Some people just want to fucking. I'm not saying this is what Steven wants, but it sounds like Jay just wants the gig. He wants to go and he do the show and do well, and he never wants to retire it. I'm more. I grew up with the Bill Burrs. When Bill was doing an hour every year, I think he still does. That was unheard of. And I remember he went, it's a minute a week. And I was like, oh, my God, it's a minute a week.

[A]

Right? Yeah, that's right.

[B]

We should all do an hour. But, yeah, I can also speak out the other side of my face and say, it's not a minute a week. No, it's not, because I'm releasing the special. And we also shot a doc of the cut material, and there's over an hour of cut material. So it's not a minute a week.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

It's like 10 minutes a week, which you don't do. So it takes me about a year and four months.

[A]

Yeah. Which I think is really good also.

[B]

Fuck a year. It's how I feel about podcasts. Fuck an hour. Be done when you're done talking.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And finish your hour when you're done the fucking. Why you. I'm not saying this is what Bill does. Bill's challenging himself. But if you're, like, beholding yourself to being like, I got to put it out every year.

[A]

Yeah. It's like two extremes. It's like one, you know, one is never change the hour, and the other one is maybe a little bit too quick. Like. Yeah, change it to. To. Yeah. I think what's sad about. Or I guess this is judgmental about the. Like, you have your hour. Just do it forever. Is that there's no creativity. Then it's like you were creative once, and then the rest of the time you're just commercing.

[B]

I couldn't agree more. I was doing. So I like the show on Sunday, and I was doing just kind of my normal act, just kind of warming up for Indianapolis, and I was doing it, and the shows were great, but I was kind of like, what am I doing? This is kind of Dumb. I've done this joke before. It's stupid. And then like I stepped in a callback and I realized there was this hole for this perfect callback. And I just did it by accident. And I got this huge response and the feeling of like, oh my God. It's like walking around your house and there's a little door in the wall and you never saw it. And you open it and it's like. You could say it's filled with gold. I'd prefer it's filled with like a magical gnome village that you can like go in and they tickle your butthole. Something really good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not gold. Like a butthole. Tickle from a little Santa. Gnomes are little Santas.

[A]

Everybody knows this. They're gardening Santas.

[B]

They gnomes it.

[A]

They gnomes it.

[B]

You gotta gnome it. Gnome alone.

[A]

Just take a minute here.

[B]

Take a minute. During your manic episodes, take a minute to breathe. I knew that would get you. I knew. Like a churchy. Is there anything funnier than the youth pastor gets a little funky with it. Amazing grace, how sweet the sad.

[A]

Oh my God. That was. That was a gnome tickling my butthole.

[B]

I know. I love it and I need it.

[A]

That's such a familiar type of riff to me.

[B]

That's the only one we know. I mean all white guys that look like me. I can't quite do it. That's even better.

[A]

I know what you're trying to do though. This is the magic of Jack Black and Tenacious D. That he can like. He is the only other person that's ever made me laugh. With a riff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Guitar riff.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's like. How did you make music notes that make me laugh?

[B]

Oh God. I know. Not a silly song. Music. Music that are funny.

[A]

That are just. That are loaded enough.

[B]

Well, it's because Jack Black's attitude is so clear.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That for some reason.

[A]

And original. Like not like anyone else.

[B]

He's incredibly unique. And yet I feel like everybody kind of thinks they know someone like him.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

There was hard rocking, jumping in the pool. Little guy, stout, barrel chested. Kind of a little guy complex, but comes in hot. I mean, what the fuck? How did we know at some point we didn't have Jack Black?

[A]

I know.

[B]

Who was it before There had to be a type that was doing that kind of thing.

[A]

I feel like Chris Farley is like the closest good. But it is different. I mean it. Or maybe maybe John Belushi because he had like the music too. But he wasn't like funny. With his music.

[B]

Yeah, I know what you mean. He. The. Like in the Blues Brothers, it was sort of.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I can't explain.

[A]

I can't understand the Blues Brothers. I don't. I. When I watch that era and, like, even John Belushi stuff, I'm like, this is so not for me. I feel like I'm watching, like, comedy from a different country.

[B]

I know what you mean. I. I shouldn't agree with that. That's. We've. We've entered into one of those areas of comedy where I get a little embarrassed, so I keep it to myself. But because you're my bride.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And because it's interesting.

[A]

It's interesting.

[B]

I know what you mean.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just in the same way that, like, the Rolling Stones really fucking light some people up, Right? And I'm not saying I don't like the Rolling Stones, but it doesn't light me up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Some people, like Matt McCarthy, our dear friend, loves John Belushi and gets it. And he's kind of like John Belushi. And I see him and I was more like, I want Bill Murray. I feel like you're either Murray or Belushi a little bit. Belushi was like, we're gonna do a panty raid, and we're gonna, like, drink a bottle of vodka and do belly flops. And Bill was like, I'm gonna be on the side and a Belushi guy will be jumping off the high dive and doing belly flops and be like, that's. You know. He'll say something sarcastic.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I can't say what it would be.

[A]

I know.

[B]

But it would be something like, well, that's not gonna wash out or whatever it is.

[A]

Yeah, that.

[B]

That was more our style. A Belushi John Jack Black is like, the safe way. The way to protect ourselves is to go full in, eat the whole cake, slap the ass, jump on the bull, cut your own nuts. Like, it's. It's a little jackassy. And Bill Murray's were like, no, I think we're safer. And see, I'm applying this to, like, internal family systems and, like, how we keep ourselves safe.

[A]

Our parts.

[B]

The still Midwestern raised. Well, is Bill Murray Midwestern? He's gotta be. Yeah, he's gotta be raised near livestock. John Belushi, I'm gonna wager, was not raised near livestock.

[A]

Yeah. He seems like he's a New York citizen.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. And that's where you get that still, it's safer to be quiet. This is real, like, if you're acting like Jack Black near horses, you're in danger.

[A]

That's really interesting.

[B]

So your geography dictates the style of comedy you do.

[A]

And your.

[B]

What is it called? Your. What's the word? Exposure to animals.

[A]

That makes sense. But then I also think there's, like, another ingredient which John Belushi is lacking for me. And granted, I haven't, like, I'm. I haven't ingested a lot of his material.

[B]

Me neither.

[A]

But it's like the Steve Martin that is missing where. And Jack Black has that. Like, he has the frat boy and.

[B]

He has seen Martin.

[A]

But he's also incredibly silly.

[B]

He's been informed by Steve Martin. Yeah, I know what you mean.

[A]

I don't care about the, like, crashing in and doing a cartwheel into a pool. Jack Black. I want the, like, Riga gigoo. Riga Gigoo.

[B]

Silly. Yeah, silly.

[A]

I want just silly sounds. I want. Not to weave.

[B]

Ray, you're right. In Tenacious D, you know, they know they're not the best rock band in the world.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In the Blues Brothers, you think Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi do think they're very good at the blues.

[A]

Yes. They're trying to be cool.

[B]

They're. They're really trying to be cool in the same way that comedians who rap want everyone to go. You are really good at rapping.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's the same attitude. And here's what I'm gonna say. Because there are people that are agreeing with us right now, and there are people that are disagreeing with us right now. All I want to say for everyone is you should. I'm gonna say you need to find. I'm gonna say it. You need to find a partner. One of the reasons I think we're getting a nice little glimpse at why we work. I know. I'm excited to say it. That you're not a Caddyshack person. Like, I just know.

[A]

Yeah. You can look at me and talk.

[B]

An Animal House, too. These just. And Bill Murray's in Caddyshack. But, like, he played kind of like a dope. I was like, fuck that. I want Ghostbusters. Smart Bill Murray. Not Dingus in a Bucket Hat Bill Murray. And it has everything to do. These are not preferences. These are. These are symptoms of how a person feels and interprets reality.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And totally. Whether or not you agree with us, I would say make sure your friends and the people that you're dating are understanding what you're.

[A]

The other.

[B]

Yeah. Just find that side.

[A]

Yes. If you are A caddyshack person. Find another caddyshack person. Yes, but if you're not, it's also.

[B]

It's pro wrestling, too. Matt loves pro wrestling. That's why I think he loves Belushi and pro wrestling. Also, Even though Matt McCarthy is helping me understand, like, I enjoy watching it with him from time to time in the green room so I can get it. So I'm not, like, dismissing it the way people dismiss musical theater. Yeah, I understand. But there is something, especially in, like, the 80s, that Hulk Hogan, like, like the Blues Brothers wants you to think he's cool.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean, right? Oh, you could be like, I'm doing a character. It's a show. Like, it's like theater. Sure, sure, sure. But you want us to think you're cool, right?

[A]

I remember when Hulk Hogan was a really big deal and my brother was five years older than me and just the key age for.

[B]

He still is.

[A]

For that. He still is. That's right. And when Hulk Hogan did Mr. Nanny is when I became interested in him. And I remember it was dead right now. I was like, okay. I mean, I couldn't have articulated it then, but I think what happened to me was I was like, all right, there's a little vulnerability here. Like, I'm not interested until there's vulnerability.

[B]

It didn't work. No, that's. Look, I could talk to you about this all day. Why did. Schwarzenegger made the transition.

[A]

Yeah, he did, right?

[B]

Hulk Hogan didn't. It didn't work.

[A]

No, it didn't work.

[B]

And then Dwayne the Rock Johnson. It looked like he wasn't going to. Dwayne the Rock Johnson did. The Tooth Fairy.

[A]

I didn't remember that.

[B]

Yeah, Dwayne the Rock Johnson, who I refused to call Dwayne Johnson. I'm just kidding. Dwayne Johnson. There was a time. I remember I'm just a fucking ham and egger. I'm just ham and egger. That sounds like weird word to say. Oh, no, I did it.

[A]

It's fine. Just move on.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Your disclaimers are always making it worse.

[B]

I'm a ham and egg kind of guy. I hate this.

[A]

You really got to stop with those pop ups, man.

[B]

All right? I would just say Regular Joe Six back, and I would go to the movies and have basic bitch opinions. That's what I'm saying. So there was a time when me and my basic bitchness saw Dwayne the Rock Johnson in the Tooth Fairy and was, like, always trying to do the Schwarzenegger thing. And it didn't work. Of course it did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now he's out. Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger, Right.

[A]

But also Schwarzenegger Hammondager. There's something there.

[B]

But I. Oh, Val. No, I'm. I'm. I'm triple screening this. I'm doing the podcast. I'm considering. Is there a joke with Schwarzenegger, Ham and egger. And I'm going, do we need to edit out? When I said ham and egger, that sounded. It sounded weird. Everybody's living in a confusing fucking world. We're all doing our best with words. We should go to the minerals.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And when we come back, I just.

[A]

Want to say it's very important that Dwayne the Rock Johnson was so handsome, that there was no world like when he was just a wrestler. That there was no world where he wasn't going to be a giant movie star. Like, you don't have a face like that and a voice like that and a body like that and not become a. I'm not.

[B]

Here's why I'm going to disagree with you a little bit. When I watch wrestling, they all kind of seem like that charismatic, ripped to the point where you're like, what?

[A]

And, yeah, they are charismatic and ripped, but are their faces handsome?

[B]

I mean, some of them. Okay, I'm with you. But what I'm saying is Dwayne the Rock Johnson. In hindsight, I think we go, that dude was always going to be a star. I'm. I'm older than you. Jack Lemmon, Glengarry Glen Ross. There was a time when he was going for it, and it was before he shaved his head. And that really kind of helped all of us. I don't know why that helped all of us. He looks so aerodynamic. We're like, of course he's saving the day. But there was kind of like a sweetness to hair. Dwayne the Rock Johnson. He kind of looked like he had a tutor. Find a lady who knows what you mean when you say the Dwayne the Rock Johnson were there. I can't hear the guitar, so I can't sing with it. Find a lady who knows what you.

[A]

Mean that's the problem. Not that we're talking.

[B]

I'm not hearing it.

[A]

Find a lady who knows what you.

[B]

Mean Find a lady who knows what you mean when you say Dwayne the Rock Johnson. John Johnson. Johnson is.

[A]

This is my jam.

[B]

We were going to do this episode over Zoom while I was in India.

[A]

Right. I forgot.

[B]

And I'm so glad we didn't cuz this is carnival callback.

[A]

Oh, and you were talking about when you step in backwards into a callback, like a gnome tickling your butthole.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Okay, Mid rolls.

[B]

Mid rolls. But I'm gonna tease what we're going to talk about one Solvang. Oh yeah, Talk about solvang solving California. We're not being paid to say this. What a magical place.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

I owe you everything, Valerie. You take us to places like solving.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

I really enjoyed it. And you know I love the movie Sideways. So we got to. We'll talk about it. And then I also want to talk about the telepathy tapes.

[A]

Oh, of course.

[B]

Which I always want to say. Telepathy. You're telepathic, but you have telepathy.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Telepathic.

[A]

You're taking photographs. But you're a photographer.

[B]

Photographs. Photographer. Words, words. Hammond, we'll be right back. I'll tell you a secret. For years, to make sure my hair would look good, if I had like a premiere or a movie or whatever, something fancy, I just wouldn't wash it. That was my secret. And then one day, Kat, my hair stylist, was cutting my hair and she said putting a comb through your hair is like putting it through wet cement. It's disgusting and it's not clean and it's gross, so you need to wash it. But the problem was when you use shampoo, it looks like a bale of hay. Looks horrible. It's fluffy, it's puffy. Then you have to put all these products in. It looks like crap and I hate it. Then I found modern mammals. It's a literal game changer. It's a non shampoo shampoo. It's called Magic mud. You run it through your hair feels just like shampoo. You rinse it out and then it looks perfect. That's really true. It looks perfect. It gives you that flow and it's almost as if you already have a little bit of product in it. Why? Because it leaves just enough, enough natural oils in your hair so it is manageable and looks perfect every time. Six seconds to perfect hair. No more poof. No more wild, out of control. And you get that flow, you get that natural thing that you're looking for where it looks like you didn't wash it, but it's clean now. Cat's happy. I look good. I'm happy. I'm never going back. Over 40,000 guys have switched to modern mammals instead of traditional shampoo and they lose their minds. There are so many five star reviews once you try it you will be hooked for life. I certainly am. Six seconds to perfect hair. And you can try the bar, which is a great way to travel. It's ph balanced and there's no plastic. And the bottle, which is more of a traditional magic mud goo, you know, like a shampoo goo, a sham goo. Go to try both for 44 bucks. Go to modernmammals.com weird and get the combo deal where you try both kinds of Modern Mammals for 44 bucks. It lasts a really, really long time. To ModernMammals.com weird or give it as a gift this holiday season to any person you know with hair. That's a pretty wide demo. Also, speaking of great gifts, I was given a shack, a Shakti mat. I say Shakti, a Shakti mat for Christmas one year. And I absolutely love it. And I'm actually kind of a tricky person to get gifts for. So if you're looking for a great gift idea this holiday season, the Shakti mat is an incredible one. It makes the person feel unique and seen and who doesn't like to relax and feel good in their back and their body and their muscles and relieve that tension in a cool and interesting way. Because what is a Shakti mat? It's basically a bed of nails. I didn't misspeak. It's like a bed of nails. It is little pokey pokes on a mat. It's incredibly high quality. You lay down on it and it's like a massage on demand, like cold exposure therapy. It is a little weird at first. It's a little shocking, but then you melt into it. It improves circulation and it relieves tension in muscles. So, yeah, I like massage. I'm still going to get massage. But massage is tricky, man. It's expensive. You got to carve out all this time, then you covered in oil. Now you got a shower, a Shakti mattress. If I'm noticing tension in my shoulders, in my triceps, in my lower back, and I want to Feel relief in 5 minutes, 10 minutes, lay on it. I whip my shirt off, I lay on it. Sometimes I stand on it, which is incredible. On your feet. There's all that. All those acupressure points. Feels fantastic. The stress melts away and it's there. It's easy, it's clean, it's fast. It's like deep tissue work right there on demand. I've tried other kinds of mats. There's no comparison. Shakti is the sharpest on the market and the only ones that work for me. Handmade in India by People paid fairly and with the highest quality materials. I can vouch for that. Deeper sleep, stress relief, muscle relaxation, better circulation, mental clarity, and just a general sense of well being whenever you need it. Shakti mats are my secret weapon for reliable serenity and relief. Go to Shakti matt S-H-A k t I m a t dot com and use promo code weird30, and you will get 30% off the mat. If that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, I guarantee someone in your life will love it. They'll laugh, they'll try it, they'll thank you. Go to shaktimat.com, use promo code weird30. All right, back to the show. We're back.

[A]

We're back.

[B]

I'm just writing down. I also have a piece of paper here that's just covered in numbers around the number 30. Then this is where I write down where the middle are. For Katie. 37, 29, 33. And this week it's 35.

[A]

I'm very attracted to your hands.

[B]

I get it.

[A]

I mean, I know that. I know. I'm certain I've told you. But, like, I think they are my ideal hands. Like, if I had to design in a lab, the most attractive hands it would be. Exactly.

[B]

What about the way this hand kind of goes goofy? The middle finger.

[A]

I like it. I want character.

[B]

Yeah. There's some character. I was telling Leela about that and someone closed my hand in a car door.

[A]

That's what happened. That's.

[B]

I think that's what happened because.

[A]

Does the other one do it?

[B]

No. So I have my middle finger kind of like my ding dong goes. We're back to curved things.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And it curves the same way my ding dong does.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Weird.

[A]

To be fair, there's just so.

[B]

And I closed my ding dong in a car door as well. And John Belushi was there. Now, that's comedy. Wow. And Bill Murray was there. Like, that won't wash out.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Playing this badly is really. It's like almost like ASMR of like. Ugh.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Not quite right. What were you gonna say?

[A]

Who can remember?

[B]

Hands.

[A]

Hands. Oh, yeah, just that. And I am a type. I'm the type of person who looks at hands. I bet you're the type of person who doesn't look at hands.

[B]

Mean. No, no. I just heard about. On the telepathy tapes, I still want to say Telepathy. The Telepathic Tapes podcast. They talked about a study. I'm fascinated with this study. I can't stop thinking about it. Where someone it was kind of trying to confirm that people won't believe things that don't fall into their worldview. Which obviously a podcast about telepathy would be investigating. Just how set in our ways are we right with like materialism and scientism, the belief that like science is everything and the foundation of all things. It's not anti science, it's just saying like maybe there's something more is another way to put it. So they're looking at how people build reality and what they'll accept. And the test is someone goes into a hotel and they put down their credit card and the person's, you know, check, checking them in. Just one person. Then they go, okay, I'm going to grab your key. And they go under the counter. And then a different person steps up and hands them the key. And you and I, you know, human would be like, I would notice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But of course these people, it's not like a redheaded person steps up after there was a non red headed person. It's not like that. It's probably like a similar looking person, not a twin. But like the point was no one fucking noticed because that, that's your brain is not ready. It's not looking for that. Right, right. Or rather it is looking for a through line in reality. And I am living my life not looking at hands. But I say with some pride, but I think truthfulness, that I would notice that I am clocking faces, bodies and making notes on them very, very quickly in the way that you would on someone's hands.

[A]

Okay. That's interesting. Yeah. Because I feel like I really look at people's details. Like I like after I've had maybe a 30 minute hang.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

With someone I feel like I really know.

[B]

Close your eyes. What color is my shirt?

[A]

Maroon.

[B]

Wow. I like this. I like this a lot.

[A]

Reader. It isn't mer.

[B]

It's like bright orange, isn't it?

[A]

No. I don't know.

[B]

Oh, I'm not looking. But I don't, I was. I know that clothes.

[A]

I don't, I don't remember anybody's clothes. I honestly at this moment would have to think to tell you what your shirt I have under this sweater.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I do have a maroon. I have a maroon shirt on.

[B]

We're so darling. Humans are so darling.

[A]

But I'm telling you, like the face, like the, like the hands, the face, the hair.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I don't notice clothing. You know, there are people, usually women who can remember like what you were wearing when you went to the fair six Months ago.

[B]

I literally have to go again. Going back to filming my special, I'm like, what did I wear the last special? So I don't wear the same outfit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That is not the kind of details I'm going for. Talk about how Jude Law used to do it for you. And then we watched the Holiday, which. Which features a Jack Black so young. It looks like Jack Black's brother.

[A]

100%. And when you. Unfortunately when you look at everyone else who's in the Holiday, they all look the same. They all look pretty close to the same. And Jack Black has undergone quite a transformation.

[B]

It's not my line. It's Ben Bailey the comedian. But now Jack Black looks like the. The carrying case for that Jack Black. The Jack Black now. And it's not just a size thing. It's like it's everything. It's just.

[A]

Oh, yeah. No, it's.

[B]

It looks like it should have a fragile sticker.

[A]

Yeah, it looks like the one that's burning him banged up.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. He just looks like a cello case hit. Agree.

[A]

Yeah, he would agree.

[B]

We loved based on the Jack Black in the Holiday. Not in and of himself.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Only side by side.

[A]

Yeah, but that was a very Nancy Meyersified Jack Black.

[B]

Yeah, they cleaned him up real good. Yeah, but Jude Law.

[A]

But Jude Law. I said we were watching the Holiday, which is a movie that I stand by half of it.

[B]

What do you mean half?

[A]

Very good.

[B]

It's a meet cute.

[A]

It half holds up.

[B]

What do you. It sounds like you're alluding to like one actor that Donald Trump.

[A]

I'm saying I like the Kate Winslet Jack Black storyline.

[B]

Oh, you. Right, right, right, right, right. Okay. I didn't understand and watched it with you, so.

[A]

And I also just said that to you.

[B]

Yeah, but I don't think I knew what you meant then. No, I didn't. In the context of watching it. I knew. But I knew Julie.

[A]

Julia and Julia or Julie and Julia or whatever. The Julie.

[B]

Which one do you like? Amy Adams or non Amy.

[A]

Non. Amy Adams. I wish that movie was a hundred.

[B]

You wish it was Julia.

[A]

Just Julia Child's story in Meryl Streep playing Julia Child.

[B]

I know what you mean. These. These aren't old palmers that we wish were iced tea.

[A]

And I think that's Nancy Myers too. Or is that. That's not Nora Efron, is it?

[B]

I don't think. I don't think anybody cares in the best way.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm letting you off the hook.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Not like who gives a. I know you mean the Cameron Diaz ness of that movie didn't work for me? Jude Lie. I find he's sort of British. Jon Hamm. I really enjoy him.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

John Hamm. Can I say that Jon Hamm is sold in the same store as Jude Law. I said this to you this week. I go, demetri Martin is sold in the same store as Sufjan Stevens.

[A]

100%.

[B]

And I did. I said that on the podcast. No, I just thought I was like, wow, we really are different types.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, there's Flight of the Concords, Sufjan Stevens, Dimitri Martin, Zach Galifianakis. It's all one store. And Jude Law, Jon Hammond, Michael Fassbender.

[A]

Interesting. Yeah. Maybe Jude Law, John Ham. I mean, I don't know. Yes.

[B]

There's like, don't think Fassbender.

[A]

No, there's like a dashing. A dashingness.

[B]

Yeah. Fassbender isn't dashing. No, I, I, there's nobody I like more than Fassbender. I think he's the best. But, yeah, he's not as dashing. And it turns out I prefer them less dashing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, how comfortable are they in a white butler glove?

[A]

Right. I like dashing, but I want an interesting face. That's what I told you. So we were watching it, and I was like, I. There was a time when I definitely thought that Jude Law, in that movie specifically, was the peak of attractive.

[B]

Look, no disrespect to Jude Law, but I do think he's a gateway from your early blossoming sexuality.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You tell me you're a lady, but, like, I have equivalents. Mine was Tiffany Hammer Thiessen. I was like, there it is. It's not too much. It's not too little. It's safe.

[A]

Oh, my God. This is a. I think you're touching on something big here.

[B]

That Tiffany Hammer Thiessen is sold in the Jude Laster.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

If you hit the John Hamms, you went too far.

[A]

Yeah, I think that's true. And I would say in general, and I wonder if this is true for everybody. My taste in attraction to people have gotten way. It's gotten way more nuanced and a little, like, messier. But I think when your sexuality is budding, there's probably an overlap period of time where sex still is kind of gross to you, of course. And like, and even, like, scary scary. And like, if you are Corey Feldman.

[B]

I'm talking 80s Feldman.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And Corey Haim. If you're like, you want a bad boy, but they kind of have to look a little bit like an elf.

[A]

And they. You just want it to be like really clean. And that's like there's some connection here with like how porn can often be just like so stripped of any humanity.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like literally the bodies don't look real.

[B]

Yeah. It's like a butcher shop.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't mean that. I don't know how I mean that. Here's a pop up.

[A]

It's fine. Stop.

[B]

Just say we're all doing our best in the morning.

[A]

But it's. But then like as you have more sex and I think also just get.

[B]

More honest about what you like and more familiar with what you like.

[A]

Comfortable with the human experience.

[B]

Comfortable with the human experience.

[A]

That becomes more attractive. So yeah, that like now I'm just like, it's too uninteresting to me.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

To have a perfect face.

[B]

This is me and Tiffany Amber. I love Tiffany Amber. Who would love her to do this podcast. She's been on a list since the beginning.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We had Mark Paul.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Let's get Tiffany Amber. I'd be tuned. I don't know if it was nervous.

[A]

I was gonna say. I don't know if I would be nervous for you.

[B]

You know what her character's Name was on 90210?

[A]

Valerie. I know. And do you? Of course I know that I was obsessed with Kelly Kapowski and then wasn't allowed to watch 90210. But I knew that her character was.

[B]

Valerie and she smoked weed out the window.

[A]

That's what I did.

[B]

It is what you did. You. You were a lot like her. But to. To tie this into what you were saying is when I was young, Tiffany Amber Thiessen was my Jude Law.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Just a little like a Kenner Barbie.

[A]

Exactly. And that's what like a Margot Robbie is. Now.

[B]

I think Margot Robbie is. I, I hear you, but what I.

[A]

Have no guess on what you're about to say.

[B]

I think Margot Robbie's smoking hot.

[A]

Of course. She's one of the most beautiful. She is like the most beautiful person.

[B]

I'm talking about a type of beauty. I'm not saying Tiffany Amber's not smoking out. I'm just saying there. Margot Robbie is like. Is sexual. Is like.

[A]

Yeah, you're right. I know what you mean. But she is 100% perfect. I think in the way that the.

[B]

Western, not in the fairy way we're talking about. These things need to be elf centered. Elves and fairies to. To induct people blossoming in their sexuality. Pick a safe harbor at the beginning.

[A]

Okay, sure.

[B]

And, you know, sometimes it is a cartoon. Maybe it's Sailor Moon, but I think.

[A]

That has to be. I think that has to be, like, energetic. Then I think it's not based just purely on the, like, symmetrical perfection of someone's base. Like, because. Because Margot Robbie, I would say, is very commercially attractive. In the same way that different Tiffany Amber Thiessen is.

[B]

I love that you're kind of tripping. And I'm not gonna tease you. I don't. I don't think that stuff is funny.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I'm here. I got you. You're good.

[A]

I'm all worked up.

[B]

No, I know what. You're trying to get a good point out.

[A]

Well, but there must be something energetic about.

[B]

I know what it is. What is it with Margot Robbie?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, it's Wolf of Wall Street.

[A]

Yeah, it's Wolf of Wall Street.

[B]

If she hadn't done Wolf of Wall Street, I would have been like, oh, perfect.

[A]

If she had only done Barbie.

[B]

If she had only done Barbie.

[A]

You're right.

[B]

And they're kind of hoping that we forgot it. Like the Tooth Fairy.

[A]

I'm just kidding.

[B]

But there. There are certain moves that you make that you can't. She'll always be.

[A]

Yeah, you know.

[B]

I know, but I like, sexualized in a. In a wonderful and appropriate and good way.

[A]

I mean, in a way that she seems. She was so good in that movie. She was more than just that, of course, but. Yes, of course.

[B]

But that was her character. Her character was the ultimate kind of trophy wife.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who was. Whatever. I don't even like saying trophy wife. You know what I mean?

[A]

I know. All right, moving on.

[B]

We went to. Well, let's do this. The telepathy tapes, because we only have 12 minutes. And then I'll just end by saying solving is the best.

[A]

Yeah, great.

[B]

But I do want to say that everyone in the world, I've. So, Josh Radner, it's actually a funny story, as everyone knows, because I can't stop bringing it up, that I love getting up early in the morning because I'm a fucking old man, and it's the best. And I'm working on a bit right now about how I'm an introvert and how I think that might be surprising to people. And I have all this stuff, and one of the things is I like getting up early, and I realize it's because no one else is. Is there? It's not you and Leela, obviously. I don't have to say that. I'M just like. I like the simplicity of it.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

There's nothing to negotiate. There's no wondering are you doing it right or wrong. It's just a quiet, empty house, and it's your time, and I love it. And. But one of the things I've noticed, you know, Rupert Spira says that the morning time, you were just asleep. And when you're in deep sleep, you're, like, really kind of one with everything. That's what deep sleep is, is like you go away, and yet you still are, and you have no memory of it. And that's why there's no time, there's no space. You're just awareness. So it's an auspicious time for meditating, for learning. This is true for me. I'm sure there are people that don't like the morning, and that's fine. But for me, it. That really resonates, and I really have a clear view of my feelings. Like, it's. It's like a wonderful, quiet time to take an inventory of how I feel. What. It's not about goal setting. It's not, like, practical. We kind of like, what do I. What am I about? Like, do I still like that thing I'm doing? Do I want to do that, or. And I also can remember my dreams very clearly. And I also get. I'm not claiming anything psychic. I just get to see what my mind is showing me more than the thoughts I'm having. It's more like it was just dreaming. So now it's, like, still kind of showing me stuff. Those naked, little quiet, small hours of the day where for some reason, I spent a good five minutes thinking about Josh Radner from How I Met yout Mother. And he's a musician, and he's a filmmaker. Josh Radner.

[A]

You know him.

[B]

You know him. You love him.

[A]

Ladies and gentlemen, Josh.

[B]

Let's bring him out. He's been waiting this whole time. So I spent a good chunk of the day, and Josh and I, you know, we love each other, but we're not super in touch. And then a couple hours later, we're talking, like, 9, 10am Josh Radner texts me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm like. And we all know that phenomenon. And of course, I just say to him, like, that's so weird. I was just thinking about you, like, like, dedicated, thinking about you this morning for quite a while. And then he replies with a link to a podcast called the Telepathy Tapes. I can't fucking say it.

[A]

You are saying I am.

[B]

Every time I say it, I'M feeling panic. You're saying telepathy tapes. And he's like, I think you like this. And I don't share things. I've texted it. I texted it to our friend group twice because I forgot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Reached out to so many people. Krista Rauschenberg, who did our akashic readings, sent it to her and she was like, I was just thinking about this. So anyway, she was thinking about what the podcast is about. She hadn't heard about it. She was like, I've worked with non verbal autistic people. So anyway, the premise is non verbal autistic people. Kids and adults seem to be. And I'm gonna say are. I mean, this podcast is wall to wall evidence.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's intense.

[A]

It's so much evidence that you're like. At a certain point, I was like, I don't even need any more evidence.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

I believe this.

[B]

By the way, if anyone's listening to that podcast around episode five, you do kind of go like, I get it. But then it gets better because it starts talking about other phenomena. But the first phenomena are psi abilities that the non verbal. So we're talking about people that speak with pointing and iPads and stuff.

[A]

And it's not just non verbal. It's like non verbal and minimally verbal, right?

[B]

Yeah, but these were people that, for the majority of human history, we thought in quotes weren't in there, that they weren't like functional.

[A]

Say that.

[B]

Yeah, a lot of times it's horrible, you know, just completely swept aside. Then they start teaching them how to speak by pointing and we find out, of course, all the things that we know. So savant skills, the podcast. So sorry, I'm all over the place. The. The non verbal autistic people are demonstrating reliably telepathy, reading their mother's mind, sending their mother messages. So it's two way telepathy. So finding other ways to communicate. And what happened was people started. No one wants to talk about that. They feel weird about it. But the podcast comes out and then everyone's coming out of the woodwork. There's like a real revolution happening in real time right now on the back of this podcast. It's incredibly exciting for this underserved community that I relate to, by the way, when. When they talked about how for people to spell, they sometimes need another nervous system. They need another person to hold their shoulder or touch them or give them a sense of space in the world. I'm like, that's not just autistic people. That's me, man. I need you all the time to regulate me. I need you to remind me of my body so it's not like a. Oh, what are these other species? These are human beings, and I'm relating to them. And then obviously, the studies are incredible. As they go on, they get more and more scientifically rigorous. I'm talking about doing experiments where the nonverbal person is behind 3ft of steel in, like, an egg, and the person whose mind they're reading is in the next room, and they're transmitting images. It's happened with pets. We know this how your dogs know when you're coming home. That was actually a phenomenon that they studied elephants. That when the guy that saved a herd of elephants died, they all walked 90 miles to his house to have a funeral.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is cool enough. No one obviously told the elephants that he died. How would you even do that? But they knew and they came, and then they continued to come on the anniversary every year. So these phenomena are there, and we've known that. And I've. I've enjoyed that sort of stuff my entire life. But now we have an intensely gifted group that is producing 100% accurate, not 30%, which is still amazing. Way better than chance, but. Hundred percent.

[A]

Yeah, 100%.

[B]

Here's the number you just thought. Here's the word. You just thought people doing it, that they don't know they're doing it. There was a sound guy that was holding a word in his head, and he walked in the room, and the autistic person started just typing the word.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And looking at him, wasn't even part of the experiment. And you hear it over and over again because human beings, God love us, but we're so stubborn. I know people listening are like, I'd believe it if it happened to me. Well, this podcast is littered with people that are like, I'll believe that if it happens to me. And then it does happen to them. And you hear that quality in their voice where they're just like, well, this is shifting my entire worldview.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then it goes into non duality. It goes into consciousness only really meaning, like a simulation kind of thing. But simulation meaning it's all thought is one way to put it. It's all consciousness. It's all God.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you start getting into these guys, talking about their spiritual beliefs, and they're so in line with my own. It's really exciting.

[A]

I haven't gotten that far. So the. The non speakers are talking about their. Or sharing their.

[B]

And then psychics who aren't affiliate people who have near death experiences. So this is what I started to say. There's. We've. All the scientific community acknowledges the existence of. What is the word? Savant phenomenon.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I've actually met a kid that was. He was like 8 years, maybe 10 years old, and he could play classical piano. Never was taught it. He could just do it. And I got to talk to him. We were doing a morning show together, and I was like, what? And I watched him play and it was like a spiritual experience. Everyone's going like, what the fuck is this? Well, what the fuck? Indeed. Right? Why does this kid know how to play Mozart perfectly and without practice? Like, you know what I mean? I can't speak to if there's any practice, but yes, there's these gifts. Yes, they pick it up very, very quickly.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Actually with that kid, I remember his dad being like, we showed him a piano and he just started fucking going, wow. And we know that sometimes people go in comas and they come back and now they understand physics. We know that sometimes people come back from near death experiences and they understand another language. So we know that there are savant skills. And they're saying this podcast is positing. Well, telepathy is a savant skill. You can't talk. And they're kind of like in an in between way. I don't mean they're not human. I mean they're in between the spiritual and the physical, kind of in the way that a shaman is. And it's manifesting in these incredibly reliable. And then like. So what I started to say was there was this woman who was in an accident, a car accident. I think she died and she came back. And when she came back, she's like, sixth Sense, straight up, Sixth Sense started seeing dead people.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

And they told the story. And this can't be spoiled. Still listen to the telepathy tapes. But. And you'll enjoy it both times. There's no way you won't enjoy this story both times for everybody listening. And you too, Val. She's like, I was in the park and I looked and I saw a man, a black guy with an afro and a leather jacket. And he said, would you do me a favor and go in that convenience store, buy a 7up, hand to the guy behind the counter and say, make 7up yours, right? And she closed her eyes because she wasn't sure if this was a dead person. She's like, God, if this person isn't real, make him go away. Make him go Away, open his eyes, guy's still there. Goes, all right, I'll do it. Goes in the store, gets a seven up, walks to the counter, gives it to the guy, goes, make seven up. Make seven up yours. Guy behind the counter faints, faints. Finds out when he comes to that that was his friend who was killed in a shooting. That was their joke. And that guy was planning on killing himself that day after work. So his. His dead friend found this woman. This is. This is the story. And said, send my friend this message, because I see what he's thinking about, essentially. So this story, this woman won't even share her full name. She's not looking for fame or fortune or a book deal. She's just telling the story. And I'm just going like, what the fuck? And then when the nonverbals start confirming things. So this woman heard about a nonverbal person who had died, sought the family out, and started saying, I just want to tell you about this guy. I don't want any spoiler. That would be a spoiler. But like, I have this message for you and because you know about the guy, you know the message and how personal. Anyway, what I'm saying is it's a must. Listen. It's absolutely life changing, life changing, paradigm changing. And I think, think. I really think we're on the precipice, if I may say, precipice of something like, look, I'm all for AI, but I think there's an even more interesting intelligence brewing, which is this community that's. That's been here. Well, we've been here, but we're learning how to listen to them.

[A]

What?

[B]

And they all meet psychically in one place called the Hill, and they all talk about it. And she interviewed people who didn't know all different parts of the country. And he goes, oh, he's on the Hill right now. They all call it the Hill. Yeah, they meet on the hill and they all psychically gather, learn things, download things like the fucking Matrix, download books, learn different languages. They're like, why does my daughter know Hebrew? And she's like, a rabbi taught me. Fucking nuts.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And we're not. This isn't Unsolved Mysteries. This is like investigative journalism and a very skeptical, normal person going around doing it. And we all need to listen to it.

[A]

It's. That's so crazy. Yeah. And when I was. The last episode I listened to. They were. One of the non speakers communicated that there were like a thousand. It was like a very specific number. It was like a thousand. 562 people on the hill.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And. And she was like, are there usually that many? And he was like, no, they're all interested in this podcast. Like, there's. So they're talking about it.

[B]

That's what I'm saying is there's something like, Aslan's on the move. There's something shifting now. That's what makes it particularly interesting to listen as the episodes are coming out. Yeah, but definitely listen from episode one. It's. It's not like.

[A]

So the episodes are coming out.

[B]

Still coming out.

[A]

That's how I was. What I was wondering how old, the. How heartbreaking would it be if it was like. And at the 10 years old.

[B]

Devastating. Because it. It's like these guys on the hill, these people on the hill are talking about climate change, they're talking about consciousness, they're talking about death and like how we view ourselves. And when they start, when they start saying spiritual things, when, when someone passes away and they're talking to this person who passed away on the hill, they're like the, the message that he sent through another nonverbal person to his mother was, tell them that the son of God is home is what he said.

[A]

God?

[B]

Yeah. He said, don't be sad. The son of God is home. And you're just like, what?

[A]

Oh, my God. What?

[B]

It's unreal.

[A]

Do you do. Do you get access to the hill when you die? Is that. Are they saying that?

[B]

No. He went to the hill after he left his body to tell that message.

[A]

But he was a non verbal.

[B]

It's funny. There's a lot of stuff in it that's a little more traditional than I would use. Like, they do talk about heaven. They talk about like, he's like in heaven, he's in a cabin by the woods or by the ocean with children playing and. And he gets to swim every day. And it's very kind of like, wow, interesting. So he's still in a body, but like a spirit body. It's. It's pretty. When I say woo, I just mean, like, that's pretty, you know, a deck of spiritual cards and kind of like that sort of stuff.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I'm. I can be a little bit drier and I'm like, no, it's a void.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And it's. It's very sweet. I don't want to spoil the whole. I couldn't. I could tell you everything I could remember from it. Oh, this is a good one.

[A]

Listening.

[B]

Oh, my God. It's unspoilable.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's this one guy who had a relationship with a non verbal. He still does. And he said one night he wasn't a praying person, but his life was changing from knowing this kid. And it was really like this changing his paradigm. He's having a rough one or something. And he went out into the woods to pray, and it was like no one was there. It was pitch black, just the moonlight. And I just prayed, like old school praying. And then the next day, next morning, he gets an email from the kid. And in the email it said. It was kind of cryptic in the way that you would think, but it was like, the woods are good for praying. And then referenced what he was praying about, referenced the things he said in his prayer in his mind. So, Val, I'm thinking about that in the car driving, and I'd pass a billboard. While I'm thinking it, not five minutes, but while I'm thinking it, I pass a billboard that says, don't give up hope. God can hear your prayers.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

This is.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

This is the Josh Radner age. We've crossed over.

[A]

Josh Radner gets credit for this.

[B]

But, I mean, he and I have been talking about just how funny it is that once you kind of open up to this, things like that do start to happen. And I really am over here going like, I think something's shifting in, like, reality. It's so exciting. And the last shall be first. It's these dismissed people.

[A]

Wow. I know. That is so beautiful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

That's. And it's. I mean, it's surprising, yet inevitable.

[A]

Mm. Yeah, that's pretty incredible.

[B]

Well, we're glad you listen to this podcast, but go listen to that one now.

[A]

Yeah. And Solvang was great.

[B]

And Solvang was great. We enjoyed it.

[A]

That's all.

[B]

It's a very quaint Dutch.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Yeah. Dutch town. And we went to the Hitching Post and it was so fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, that's it. We gotta go.

[A]

All right, everybody. Keep it extra crispy.

[B]

Wow. Because of the paradigm shift.

[A]

Yes.