We Made It Weird #218

Summary

"We Made It Weird #218" – with Pete Holmes & Valerie

Podcast: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Episode: We Made It Weird #218
Date: May 16, 2025
Co-host: Valerie (Pete’s wife)
Theme: Lighthearted Friday check-in; exploring everyday weirdness, fun riffs, and a candid discussion of hormones, pop culture, and the joys/absurdities of life.

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Episode Overview

In this “light and fluffy” Friday bonus, Pete and Val riff on the strange delights of theater orchestration, getting secretly stoned, hormone-driven personalities, and why rich people might someday order fresh pharmaceuticals tableside (PHARM-to-table). The episode is full of jokes, pop-culture nostalgia (from 90210 to Dawson’s Creek to Cats), and candid talk about how hormones govern so much of our feelings and decisions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Intro & Vibe Check

• Pete and Val set the tone: “Light, it’s fluffy... you can get too deep and not spun. Very silly.” [00:45]
• Emphasize the “bonus” feel—just a casual catch-up, full of bits.
• Pete’s tour dates are quickly mentioned.

2. Bad Matinee Sound & Orchestras

• Pete and Val share a gripe about musical theater sound in the orchestra pit being “too perfect” and “flattened.” [02:59]
  • “We went and saw Wicked...I wanted to yell. Turn up! It was so quiet.” – Val [03:37]
• Funny comparison of Broadway and church acoustics.
• Gently roast their own theater experiences.

3. Secret Highs & Shared Quotes

• Pete and Val reminisce about getting “sneaky stoned” and hiding it—only to be totally obvious.
  • “What’s the point of just being like, I’m getting stoned and everyone will know? Get stoned, let your laughter betray it.” – Pete [04:25]
• Riff: acting as if getting stoned is a crime, playing up the “confession.”
  • “Oh, I fucked up, man. I fucked up...like I’d killed somebody.” – Pete [04:36]
• Shared joy in “speaking in quotes” from favorite movies—pointing out how fun it is to have a close friend or partner you can do that with.

4. Pop Culture Tangents: 90210 & Dawson’s Creek

• Pete’s surprise that Val knows Jason Priestley (note: high nostalgia for 90210).
• Goofy verbal slip-ups:
  • “902, 1 0.” [07:39]
  • “Brandon. Brennan. Not Brennan. Brendan.” – Pete/Val debating character names [08:03]
• Val recounts being denied Dawson’s Creek by her mom for being “inappropriate.”
  • “I cried myself to sleep because I didn’t want to wait for my life to be over to watch Dawson’s Creek.” – Val [10:23]
• Pete shares the “best-ever” joke from Twitter: “Do you know the zip code for Dawson’s Creek? 90108 (for our lives to be over).” [10:51]

5. PHARM-to-Table: The Fancy Drug Restaurant Bit

• Pete riffs a scenario: rich people ordering table-side pharmaceuticals at fancy “farm-to-table”-type restaurants.
  • “You could order a Xanax or Klonopin and they’d make it tableside like a Caesar salad.” – Pete [13:33]
  • The punchline: it gets pressed into a pill and “it’s still warm.” [14:23]
• Spin-off: this would be a perfect “Karen scene” in Will & Grace.
  • “Why are your pills warm?” “They’re fresh, sweetheart.” [15:55]
• Joke debated as more a background gag for a satire than a full sketch.

6. Paul Thomas Anderson’s Joke: “Nevertheless”

• Pete retells a favorite joke from WTF with Marc Maron and Paul Thomas Anderson [16:36]:
  • Burt Reynolds kept saying “nevertheless” in Boogie Nights. Ricky Jay laughs. Ricky Jay’s story: Mayor intro’ing national anthem singer; heckler yells “Kathy Cohen sucks!”—mayor says, “Nevertheless...” [19:06]
  • “Not even ignoring it...he’s supposed to say, ‘Sir, sit down,’ but just ‘nevertheless!’” – Pete [19:18]
  • Discussing the mechanics of why it’s so funny (lack of social correction, public shame).

7. National Anthems, Songs & ChatGPT

• Playful roast on how countries have “songs,” and U.S. adapted God Save the Queen for “My Country, ‘Tis of Thee.” [22:31]
  • “No, ChatGPT knows a lot more than how to fix my spelling mistakes.” – Pete [22:36]
  • Pete notes Lila (their daughter) loves ChatGPT’s polite answers.

8. Conversations, Personality, and “Crispy” Energy

• Pete reflects on the difficulty of group conversations (prefers stand-up for its clarity).
• Pete and Val discuss the social dance of asking/answering questions; Pete admits he tries to invite others in.
• Silly banter: “PF Changs” and “peepee poo poo.”

9. Father Greg Boyle & McDonald’s (“McNalgas”)

• Pete relays he asked Fr. Greg why the homies say “McNalgas” for McDonald’s; “nalga” means buttcheeks.
  • “Is that because the M in McDonald’s looks like an ass?” ‘You’re overthinking it.’” – Father Greg [26:53]
  • Pete plans to have Greg and Richard Rohr on as future podcast guests.

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10. Testosterone Supplement Saga & Hormone Talk (Begins after mid-show ads: [32:19])

• Pete shares trying “Kino Body Mojo” (testosterone supplement sent to him).
  • “First thing I noticed was boner city. Muchos boners.” [34:13]
  • “When I work out…I just won’t stop. Like a wild horse running for no reason? That’s a high-T horse!” – Pete [35:35]
• Val: “One of the side effects of taking testosterone is you’ll do more Vince Vaughn impressions.” [32:45]
• Pete: Boost in decisiveness—canceling subscriptions, getting things done.
  • “The voice of testosterone is a screaming voice that says, you can run, you should run.” [35:42], [37:00]
• Both discuss how hormones drive personality, motivation, even accountability.
  • “You just are your responses to chemicals being produced in your body.” – Pete [39:56]
• Val compares this to perimenopause, postpartum, and the teenage years—times when emotions are obviously hormone-driven and out of conscious control.
  • “I’m not yet convinced that if it’s a hormonal thing that you have any power over it.” – Val [41:45]
• Pete wonders, “Who are we? Are we just (a) response to chemicals?” [39:43]

11. Crow Bit, More Hormone Philosophy, and Tim Burton

• Val’s annoyed by a crow seemingly heckling her; Pete coins, “I wouldn’t put it past a crow.” [43:03]
• Defining lines: “You can run. You should run.” (looped as a catchphrase for hormone-driven motivation) [35:42], [37:00], [59:25]
• Tangent: What would Tim Burton or Marilyn Manson name their pet crows? (Damocles, Raven)

12. Public Declarations of Love & Old Social Media Flirting

• Val remembers flirting via Vine with Pete when they were long-distance.
  • “Every Vine I posted was for you—but, like, true romance, other people would see it too. Romance, six seconds at a time.” – Val [45:37]
• Pete muses on why so much romance is public performance.
  • “So much of romance is, like, let them see. Is it romantic to do something in Thoreau’s cabin? Yes, but less.” [46:27]
  • Proposing in public, songs, “look at us.”

13. Musical Theater Riffs: Wicked, Rent, Cats, and Fresh-Haired Butts

• Joke about Wicked’s corny humor, how “Defying Gravity” is a standout song, and musicals judged by their best number.
  • “Nish Kumar said, ‘We’ll never know if Wicked is any good because Defying Gravity is so good.’” – Val [50:08]
• Cat-butthole musical riff: Pete sings about “Fresh hair butt.”
  • “…then there’s always a hypermasculine fat cat that’s like—and everyone can see—someone plays a trombone: it’s a fresh hair butt.” [53:20]
• Val recounts seeing Cats stoned with a friend who accidentally dressed like Mr. Mistoffelees. [55:04]
• Their daughter Leela’s confusion when shown Cats videos: “She was just sitting there watching... she just wasn’t, I could tell she didn’t know how to feel.” – Val [56:53]

14. Women & Hormone Supplements

• Pete researches if women can take the supplement he’s using—confirms, but recommends seeing a doctor first. [57:46]
• Val: “I need some of that—just the forward motion, the horse running. I need a little running horse.” [59:03]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Pete (on being stoned): “I was holding onto the sun. Like something I think is as funny as the sun is bright, but I can’t quite bring you there with me... Turns out I’m on the sun.” [05:03–05:29]
• Val (on hormone mood swings): “It’s like a whole other moment of life where you’re like a teenager. You’re like, I can’t control this.” [41:15]
• Pete (on musical theater jokes): “A lot of the humor in musicals is just a joke for everyone. And I’m just like, well then I have no interest in it; ‘nevertheless’ is a joke, and it is not for everyone.” [50:29]
• Pete (on finding decisiveness): “Before I know it, I’m sitting down... I was writing an email this morning, and I just erased it and wrote, we have 14 slots...I just looked it up.” [38:11]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Intro, vibe, and tour dates: [00:15–01:03]
• Theater orchestration & Wicked sound: [02:57–03:41]
• Sneaky stoned confession & shared quotes: [04:09–06:50]
• Pop culture nostalgia (90210, Dawson’s Creek): [07:22–10:34]
• “PHARM-to-table” joke & Will and Grace bit: [12:19–16:11]
• Paul Thomas Anderson’s “Nevertheless” joke: [16:36–21:08]
• National anthems, musical melodies, AI: [22:00–25:07]
• Father Greg Boyle & McDonald’s bit: [26:31–27:15]
• Testosterone supplement & hormone discussion: [32:19–41:45]
• Crow and public displays of love: [43:00–47:00]
• Musicals and Cat butts: [51:28–54:35]
• Cats, nostalgia, and Leela’s confusion: [55:04–57:46]
• Can women take testosterone supplements discussion: [57:46–59:13]

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Tone & Language

• Casual, silly, and affectionate.
• Pete and Val speak in tangent-rich, playful riffs.
• Big on in-jokes, running bits (“you can run, you should run”), and open-ended musings.
• Most jokes are self-aware, with both hosts poking fun at each other and themselves.

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Recap

Filled with nostalgia, silliness, and thoughtful musings about hormones, identity, and social performance, this episode captures the “classic” Friday energy of We Made It Weird—sharing the private jokes and everyday absurdities that make life, well, weird.

Closing mantra:
“You can run. You should run. Keep it crispy.” — [59:25]

Transcript

[A]

You made it weird.

[B]

You made it weird.

[A]

You made it weird.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You made it weird. Yes, you did. It made it weird. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

[B]

What's happening, weirdos?

[A]

What's happening, weirdos? We're so glad you're here. We're recording this the day it's coming out. Friday, May 16th.

[B]

It's fresh. It's fresh and fresh. Talk about that tableside ambiance. You'll get it.

[A]

You'll get it.

[B]

You'll get it.

[A]

You'll get that reference.

[B]

You have to listen. Okay.

[A]

No, no. And I love this episode. I always say that if you're new to the show, this is the Friday bonus episode where Valerie and I catch up. And I love this one.

[B]

Yeah. This is a classic. It's light, it's fluffy.

[A]

Light. It's fluffy. Yeah. It's not too. It's not too deep.

[B]

You can get too deep and not spun.

[A]

Very silly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And a pleasure.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's a pleasure to get to be with you, Val. Thank you for doing it.

[B]

Thank you so much. Much.

[A]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna be too much.

[B]

I like too much.

[A]

I'm gonna be in Nashville. Coming up before that is May 24, Los Angeles at the Largo that's almost sold out. And then Irvine, San Jose, Houston, Royal Oak, Washington, D.C. boston, New Hampshire. We just added Spokane, Washington, St. Louis, Missouri, Cleveland, Homestead, Pennsylvania, and Atlantic City. And we're going to be adding New York, as I keep saying, but we will add New York. We'll right around that November date and go to PeteHomes.com for tickets to all of those. And if you like the show. Oh, let me look real quick while everybody's listening. I'm going to look up something real fast. If we're going to. If we're going to do ads now or if there's only one ad. I can't remember. I cannot remember.

[B]

Well, I'll just say if you want to support there's only one ad, then just keep listening. You'll get an ad in the middle.

[A]

You'll get an ad in the middle.

[B]

And they're things we really use and really love.

[A]

But you. You don't even need to know that now because the show's starting. B.

[B]

Just remember that for later. Okay? Get into it.

[A]

Of all the podcasts you could have clicked on, for some strange reason, you chose this. Of all the many podcasts you could have chosen, let's see. The musical, like Peril, like the scene is going to end in an uncertain way. Oh, it's just. You chose this. But we're going to end on that peril note.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You chose this. Why does every orchestra section.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In the pit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

At, like, we went and saw Wicked. Sounds like ass to me. It's because it's too perfect. It's so perfect. It's like the drums are, like, kind of muted and everything's, like, flattened out.

[B]

Wicked did sound like ass.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah. That was.

[A]

That was a bad one.

[B]

Yeah. That. We saw Wicked at the Eclaise here.

[A]

I'm just stirring my drink.

[B]

Theater. I don't know how to. To say it. In Salt Lake City. And I was like. It was a matinee, to be fair. And we were like, in the orchestra seats. But I. I was like, okay. I wanted to yell.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

I wanted to yell. Turn up. It was so quiet.

[A]

It was quiet. That's what I mean to me. Broadway and church, very similar. Like, there's the. The glass, you know, like that asking in the middle of question as I'm answering. That's really funny. Okay. If we're just sharing things that we think are funny. I got stoned the other night, and I thought this was the funniest thing in the world because Val. I never tell Val when I get stoned because that's always.

[B]

No. Hundred percent.

[A]

Everyone knows. Everyone knows.

[B]

But that is my favorite. I know I've shared this on the podcast, but I also loved doing that back in my getting stone days.

[A]

Yeah. I learned it from watching you.

[B]

Yeah. I like to. To get sneaky stoned and not tell anyone.

[A]

What's the point of just being, like, I'm getting stoned and everyone will know. It's like, get stoned and then let your laughter betray it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's so fun.

[B]

So fun.

[A]

And this is what I. I still. Well, there's two things. There's something I couldn't stop laughing at, which is taking it real. Like, because you were like, are you stoned? And I was like, oh, I fucked up, man. I fucked up. Like, taking it really. Like you had killed somebody. Like, oh, I fucking got stone, man. I fucking did it. I got stone. Like, it's the biggest deal. Like, drooling.

[B]

Oh, my.

[A]

Saying, like, you're the killer. I thought that was. And this is the feeling of me being stoned, by the way, is I'm holding onto the sun. Like something that I think is as funny as the sun is bright. But I can't quite do it. I can't quite bring you there with me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it Turns out I'm on the sun.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I can't bring you to the sun. It's only funny on the sun.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The sun metaphor is over. I'm just saying. I'm always going like, this is so funny. And you're like. But then also, I was probably doing it weirder. It was like.

[B]

See, this is what I needed. And this is what you don't have when you're stoned is being the wherewithal. Yeah. Is being like, I got stone, man. Could you imagine, like, a little break and then you do it again instead, you just.

[A]

Oh, I just do the bet fully committed.

[B]

And you did it for so long.

[A]

Really? Because in my mind, I was like, wow. I. I had restraint. I could have done that forever. Oh, I fucking did it. I can't fucking do it, Stone man.

[B]

You just, like, you did it. Like. I guess you did it past the point of, like, this is a bit, to me, getting to a point where I was like, wait, is this real?

[A]

That also probably occurred to me and was so deeply funny.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's just like, especially when you're stoned. And I was just a little stoned. I mean. No, I know. Based on the amount I had taken. Would we call her a little chubby? Would we call her chubby that you're so fun. Share your life with, even if it's just a friend. Get somebody in the mix that can quote love, actually.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And what did I say to you?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

There was a family stone.

[B]

One hit twice.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Was that it?

[A]

Twice?

[B]

No, because we say that one a lot.

[A]

And then there was like, it doesn't matter. We're speaking in quotes, is the point. And it feels so nice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was gonna say the stone thing. Well, I saw a play called Side, and I really liked it. And. And Jason Priestley was in it, which was so cool to me. And I've always wanted to have Jason Priestley on the pod.

[B]

Yeah, he's super cool.

[A]

You think so?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm only surprised because I'm older than you, so I'm like, big. 90210.

[B]

I mean. Yeah, that's true. And I wasn't very into 90210, but, like, I. He was still.

[A]

What you just said. 90210. Kind of funny.

[B]

902, 1 0.

[A]

And it was very cute. I was never very into it. 920. It was like an alien trying to, like, oh, yeah, Beverly Hill.

[B]

But that was like, the cool thing when I was, you know, 10, and I wanted to be A see you at an older. That's what the.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, in the pilot of 90210. Brandon. Brandon.

[B]

Brandon.

[A]

Believe it or not, Brandon.

[B]

I know. Brandon. Bren. Brennan.

[A]

Not Brennan.

[B]

Brendan.

[A]

Brandon. I mean, calm down. With all the variations on that. It's like a cell phone. You can mod too much, it ruins it.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Like, but there isn't even like a base phone that lets me know this phone is like other phones. Like, I want to be in the group. I modded it too much with Brandon.

[B]

Brandon.

[A]

Brandon. Nine out to one Brandon. In the pilot of Brandon's 90210, the original title, like Fonza's Happy Days, Brandon has sex. He doesn't go to a big party and he has sex in a hot tub.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Pretty sure that's the pilot. I. I could be wrong, but I mean, like, so if you were watching nine zero two zero, that was. You were rolling your own.

[B]

Well, I remember getting very excited about Dawson's Creek. That was more my era, but I was also young. I was like, yes, 10.

[A]

Dawson's Creek was the first time that I got to be like, well, that's just too much because Pace is like fudgeing his teacher or like, in love. And I was like, they've gone too far. Like, I got the first taste of being like an old person.

[B]

Like, how old were you?

[A]

Probably just entering college maybe. Wow. Maybe high school, I don't know. But I was like that. That's gauche. Yeah, they've gone too far.

[B]

I was 10 and my means I was 20.

[A]

So I was well into high in college.

[B]

College. Yeah, A couple of years into college.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I. Well, I saw the previews and like most, let's face it, it was mostly about the song I Don't Want to Wait. Yeah. And the like the commercials saying it was coming was. Had that song and I just really wanted to watch it. And my mom was like, we'll watch the first episode and then we'll see if it's appropriate for you to watch. And in the first episode, Joey and Dawson are sleeping in the same bed. Yeah, I didn't like masturbation jokes. I didn't like that the parents get caught having sex.

[A]

Didn't like, I still don't like any of this.

[B]

And my mom was just like. I remember her sitting on my bed. This is how serious it was. I was like. And like having a talk and like about to go to sleep. And I was like, did you watch it? And she sat on my Bed and was like, we watched it, and I think it's just a little inappropriate for your age right now. And I cried myself to sleep because I didn't want to wait for my life to be over to watch Jocelyn too funny.

[A]

I've been sitting on this whole time. I've probably said this on the pod before, but we all know Beverly Hills, 90210. But do you know the zip code for. This is not my joke. It was a tweet I saw, and I'm sorry I can't reference who it was, but do you know the zip code of Dawson's Creek? It's 90108. For our lives to be over.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

90108.

[B]

90108.

[A]

How good is that?

[B]

That's so.

[A]

How good is that?

[B]

Good.

[A]

Okay. The second thing I couldn't stop laughing at when I was stoned, which I now see the arrow. I'm gonna sneeze.

[B]

Oh, my God. I'm gonna never sneeze.

[A]

I think I might be getting something or maybe allergic to your.

[B]

All of a sudden. Well, allergies can change.

[A]

Hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing at the idea that rich people would go to a place like a fancy, like, almost like, you know, like a cabin restaurant, like a farm restaurant. I am not describing it. Well, you know, when you go to. Well, this is my only reference. You go to, like, Park City, Utah, for Sundance. They have these, like, very fancy cabins. They're like log, but it's, like, the fanciest restaurant in the world. And there's Benicio Del Toro, and he's with Guillermo Del Toro. They're both. I just. I just realized they're both Del Toros. Are they Benicio Del Toro? For sure.

[B]

For sure.

[A]

Guillermo del Toro.

[B]

Is it?

[A]

Well, we're gonna have to wonder. Kill this.

[B]

It's also Guillermo. Guillermo.

[A]

Guillermo Del Toro.

[B]

Wow. Are they related?

[A]

Del Toros.

[B]

Are they related?

[A]

They're both Del Toro. So the Del Toro brothers are sitting, you know, eating oysters. So it's a nice place.

[B]

Del Toro.

[A]

Hermanos Del Toro, The Brothers of the Bull. One of the.

[B]

So cool.

[A]

They're so cool. We're the Brothers at the Bull. Oh, my God.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right.

[B]

So in a fancy cabin restaurant with.

[A]

You, you can order. And this isn't going to be as funny as Benicio at realizing that Guillermo and Benicio have the same last name. But why that was funny. I don't even remember.

[B]

No, but it was so funny.

[A]

It was so funny.

[B]

When on a little long.

[A]

I Loved it.

[B]

But I let it go. I just let it.

[A]

I froze it. I froze it.

[B]

I froze it.

[A]

That you could get farm to table, tableside, fresh prepared pharmaceuticals. I thought that was so funny.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That you know, rich people, this was one of your riddled with anxiety and taking a lot of. Not supplements like pharmaceuticals. They're taking Ambien to sleep. They're taking Xanax to like sit by the pool. I'm sorry, but a lot of rich people are plagued.

[B]

Yeah, plagued because money can't buy you happiness.

[A]

Right. So you're just sort of plagued. And. And by the way, that sounds a little too judgmental. A lot of people take those things and that's. I'm really bit free zone taking that away. But I was just saying, like, that is a market. And you know, I thought it was funny that rich people always wanting to have what everyone else has, but better they would go to a restaurant where they could order like a Xanax or Klonopin and they would make it tableside like a Caesar salad. And the only part that I thought was actually like, now that I'm not stoned is actually funny, is that they press it like in a garlic press, but it shapes it into a pill. They drop it into your hand and you're like, it's still warm.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they go, it's fresh from the oven. And I thought that was so funny that, like, it. Pills do lose their potency. So like a fresh, like there is just a kernel of something real. A fresh Xanax off the line is probably like a fantastic experience. But we are like, how old are your pills?

[B]

Like, all right, I'm stopping this right now.

[A]

But when I said it to read, he. He improved it. I forget our friend Reid.

[B]

Yeah, I can't remember how, but. And we all agreed that it, like, it's good as something sort of in something else. Like it's not enough to be like its own sketch. But I actually just now found the perfect place.

[A]

It could be in the backdrop of a movie like Idiocracy. Like, it's a high concept movie. And in the background you see rich people paying more for a fresh ambient made fresh. I also got the powders and they're mixing them with two big silver spoons.

[B]

Yeah. I actually think I know the perfect place.

[A]

Oh, I love it.

[B]

You won't really get it because you don't watch this, but it's. It's made for Karen in Will and Grace because her whole thing is that she's always on different pills.

[A]

It's a one line joke for Karen on Will and Grace. I do get.

[B]

And she calls her. She. She says, like, I need to call pharmacist. She calls. He just says, pharmacist.

[A]

That's very funny. And she would be like, she'd get a delivery. It's like, why are your pills warm? They're fresh, sweetheart. Like just a joke.

[B]

Or like they would be at a restaurant and she would have her own tableside service of like her farm.

[A]

You think they could do that?

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

That's pretty big. That seems like a late season. Who cares? We're already a hit kind of joke. Because that kind of breaks the whole world if a guy in a white shirt with his tie thrown over his shoulder is mixing up a fresh.

[B]

Well, you know what it would be is they go to her house and somebody is doing that.

[A]

Yeah, maybe. I'm still not loving it.

[B]

Okay, well, here's your idea.

[A]

I know. No, I know. And you're. You try to help me and I just keep resisting.

[B]

It's not good.

[A]

Valerie. I can't wait. I'm so excited for everybody listening because I heard on Mark Marin's podcast, I listened to Paul Thomas Anderson on wtf. Like an old episode he's not on. Everybody knows I love pta. And I was like, oh, why? Why have I not listened to that? So I listened to it. Here is the funniest. I'm gonna say it. I think this little joke story deserves like a Diamond Award. Like, it deserved like a giant diamond. It's like, as a lover of jokes, I don't really tell jokes. I've told this joke that I'm about to tell five, six times. And every time it's been a pure pleasure.

[B]

It's like a hardest laugh story.

[A]

It's like a hardest laugh story. Exactly. And it's the most reliable, relatable, gettable for everybody. You have to be a grown up. I guess. But anyway, here it is. You have to be a grown up. I wouldn't tell it to leela.

[B]

That's the one.

[A]

Rule 16 plus. Okay.

[B]

It's like Dawson's Creek. You have to be a grown up.

[A]

You got to be a grown up. Pacey is coming through the window. Is he the one in the window? No. All right, so when Paul Thomas Anderson was shooting Boogie Nights, they were shooting a scene where Burt Reynolds is fighting with Mark Wahlberg and apparently he was improvising. Burt Reynolds was improvising. And he kept saying, nevertheless, like Mark Wahlberg was like, I'm not. I'm not on pills. I'm not on pills. I'm clean. You gotta shoot me. And he's like, nevertheless, I'm not shooting you. You need to get out of here. And Ricky J. The wonderful magician who Paul Thomas uses in all of his things, Ricky J. Keeps laughing every time Burt Reynolds says, nevertheless. It's ruining take after take every time Burt Reynolds says, nevertheless, Ricky is hiding his face. So he calls, cut. He goes up to Ricky J. He goes, why are you laughing every time Bert says, nevertheless. And Ricky J. Tells him the story. When he was in high school, he went to a small town baseball game, and the mayor was introducing the woman who was gonna sing the national anthem. And he goes, kathy, Cut. Cohen is here and she's going to sing the national anthem. He says into the mic, someone in the stand stands up and goes, kathy Cohen sucks. And the mayor goes, nevertheless. I know you've heard it before, but I did every time.

[B]

Nevertheless.

[A]

Nevertheless. Not. Sir, sit down.

[B]

Not even ignoring it.

[A]

Not even which is the better move.

[B]

Nevertheless.

[A]

Nevertheless.

[B]

In this case, she's going to use her mouth to sing the.

[A]

Yeah, it's. Be that as it may.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, it's got everything. It's a public speaking situation. It's a high status. I added mayor. I don't think they said mayor. It's sexual. There's a little bit of like, sexual shaming in it that isn't corrected, which is the mechanism of a joke.

[B]

He should.

[A]

He's supposed to say, sir, sit down.

[B]

Yeah. Or just ignore it again.

[A]

There's also a flavor of mistake. Like he said, nevertheless. Nevertheless. And then probably mid next sentence realized he shouldn't have said nevertheless. Yeah, it's like Birbiglia's joke. He's moving a bed into a. His new apartment. A woman holds the door for him and she says, I'll let you in. You don't look like a rapist. And Mike says, what I should have said was nothing. But what I did say is, you'd be surprised.

[B]

Oh, my God. Right?

[A]

You'd be surprised. Is also nevertheless.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

It's a phrase that you say to, like, keep things moving and keep things light. But when taken literally, he's saying, I could be a criminal. And he's saying, kathy Cohen does suck up.

[B]

He does suck cock.

[A]

And then you're like, does he know?

[B]

And then Kathy Cohen had to go up and sing after that.

[A]

Valerie, that is the linchpin. I don't know what linchpin means. It's the animating mechanism of that Joke is, while you're laughing, you're thinking of the applause and laughter.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That Kathy had to endure while she walked up to the microphone to sing Our Neck, our nation's song. Which, by the way, how funny is it that our country has a song?

[B]

I know. And more than one.

[A]

And all the countries have songs.

[B]

This is our country song. Okay, well, this is our country song.

[A]

And what country, you know, there's one didn't have a song and held out the longest. Like, Italy was like. No.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's stupid. And then eventually, like, fine. A pasta in a parmesan.

[B]

I don't think that's Italian. What I just said. Del toro.

[A]

Del toro. I think del toro in Italian also means of the bull.

[B]

Yeah. Wait.

[A]

The meatballs. Sorry, is this racist? It is a little bit.

[B]

And then, like, we stole God Save the Queen and wrote American lyrics for it. Like, I'm assuming during the revolution or right after.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

God Save the Queen is. I always forget which one it is. Like, it's to the tune of, like, America the Beautiful.

[A]

Oh, God Save the Queen.

[B]

No, it does not. It's like.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Queen. Okay. No. Okay.

[A]

Which American song repurposed the melody?

[B]

That is not how you spell purpose.

[A]

Believe me, Chat GPT knows a lot more than how to fix my spelling mistakes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In fact, that is the American song that repurposed the melody of God Save the Queen is my country tis of the gangster.

[B]

Yeah. My country tis of the sweet land of liberty from the. I see. But that used to be of the IC Saying.

[A]

Saying of the ic.

[B]

Okay. But that was God Save the Queen.

[A]

Wow. Of the I sing.

[B]

And it was like a whole. All different lyrics about England.

[A]

I was just thinking this morning, I was. What was I singing with Leela? But Twinkle twinkle ba Ba Black sheep and the Alphabet.

[B]

Okay. Despite using the same melody, the lyrics are entirely different. And the song became one of the most popular American patriotic hymns, ironically, using the British national anthem's tune. It was even considered an unofficial national anthem before the Star Spangled Banner was.

[A]

Officially adopted in 1931. That means there were multiple songs, and people sat around singing and thinking and putting it on a phonographic record.

[B]

Yeah, it was 1831, so it actually was way after the revolution.

[A]

I thought you were going to check on whether or not record players existed.

[B]

No, I didn't care about that.

[A]

I wouldn't care. Nevertheless.

[B]

Nevertheless, it does say, would you like a quick side by side of the two lyrics? It's always going above and Beyond.

[A]

No no. ChatGPT is a conscientious, plucky employee. That's why Lila loves talking to it. She'll go, do you like spaghetti?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it'll be like, yeah, I like spaghetti. It's fantastic. Is there something you put on your spaghetti? Maybe cheese?

[B]

Yeah. It's so good at the thing that I was telling you that I do when we were at coffee with our friends where you were like. We were teasing you for talking. Like, you were like, we gotta go. And I was like, but you. You're the only one that's talked this whole time. And then I was saying, which, this is not healthy. But I was like, in the tease, I was saying, what I do is somebody asked me a question, I rush through my answer and then turn it back.

[A]

Oh, because I screamed. Someone said, how was the movie? And what was the most difficult part of it? And then someone asked me something else very specific.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was like, what am I to do? And then I said, this is why I, like, stand up. Everybody is quiet, and I know I can talk, and then I'll be done, and then I finish. It's conversations can be harder, but the.

[B]

Conversations are so it's not as nuanced. It really is. And I don't know. You're. You're great at this, and everybody loves you. This is not a problem.

[A]

But I like this.

[B]

But I'm just saying, you're like, you don't have to become like me. But when I'm what I think, I am taking sort of inventory of like, okay, they've asked a lot of questions, and now it's my turn to ask them a question.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Look, I'm not even saying this defensively. I did keep trying to put out. There was an efforting to be like, maybe you can relate to this. That's me going like, feel free to, like, jump in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then, you know what actually happens? And this can frustrate me when I'm burning white hot. A little manic these days, which are manic. 902 9102. Rescue 90211. Oh, did we laugh about this, My dear love. All right. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Psych. I love you, PF Changs.

[B]

We had. We had fun. We have fun.

[A]

Changs.

[B]

PF Changs.

[A]

P.S. i love you, PF Changs. P.P.S. did you laugh at the P. F. Chang's joke? PPF Peepee poopoo.

[B]

Peepee poo poo.

[A]

What's peepee poo poo? Peepee poo poo.

[B]

Just pee pee and poo poo. Not it. You're overthinking it.

[A]

I asked Father Greg Boyle once, reading his books, which are wonderful, and there's a new one coming out, I noticed that the homies, as he calls them, call McDonald's McNalgus. Oh, and Nalgas are butt cheeks. It's actually quite funny.

[B]

That's funny.

[A]

And I said to him, I was like, is that because The M in McDonald's looks like an ass? And he just went like, you're overthinking it.

[B]

Did he?

[A]

Like, he's like, they're just saying McBuck cheeks. It tastes it's ass. It's like an ass place. I think that. I think everybody likes McDonald's, I guess. Question mark.

[B]

Yeah, maybe. But we.

[A]

But I think they're kind of like trash. Right? And I think that's an acknowledgment of the trashy nature of McNalgus.

[B]

Yeah, McNugus.

[A]

I know you want to go to McNugos.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's got a new book coming out, I think. I don't know if it's. I'm gonna have him back on. And I got to have Richard Rohr on the podcast this week.

[B]

Yay.

[A]

And it was un believably fun. He's just so good. He's the sweetest, goodest man. All right, let's go to the mids and we'll come back. Great, right?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Nine out two or nine.

[A]

Nevertheless, I'm just reminding everybody.

[B]

See, they're fun.

[A]

We've had.

[B]

We've had fun.

[A]

We did farm to table. P H A R M to table.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hot, fresh Ambien. I can't think of another drug.

[B]

I guess Klonopin.

[A]

Klonopin.

[B]

I believe it's Klonopinopin. Klonopin, Klonopin, Klonopin.

[A]

We'll. We'll be. We'll be back. And. Oh, I. I do have my big. I do want to share my. My testosterone update.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Which I think is very interesting, but I'm gonna keep it brief. But actually, I'm not gonna keep it.

[B]

Brief because it's very interesting because testosterone.

[A]

Yes. I can't wait to talk. We've. We've made this revelation. Had this revelation before, but it turns out we really don't exist. We really are just.

[B]

Just our hormone makeup.

[A]

We're like a fucking jukebox. And the hormones are the quarters. Or maybe the hormones are the songs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the quarters are the energy, and the bar is the Universe and the dance floor. That's our wedding. Hit it. We'll be right back after these messages. Pardon the interruption, friends. This episode is brought to us by our friends at Mud Water. Mud Water is I'm obsessed. It is a coffee alternative that is delicious with energy and natural and no crash. It's warm, delicious. It's got cacao chai and adaptogenic mushrooms that dial you in feeling focused and refreshed with just the right amount of energy without feeling jittery or wired. It's not just energy, it's an energy and a warm, grounded feeling. It's very earthy. It's not jacked. It's solid. For when 3pm rolls around and you're losing energy but you don't want another cup of coffee that's going to keep you up all night and the jitters that come with it. And as I said, there's no dip. It just eases you in and it eases you out. Mud water is 100% organic, gluten free and vegan coffee alternative that's so chock full of goodness it's no wonder it makes you feel amazing. My energy is up, my sleep is improved and now that I'm getting more natural energy and drinking less coffee, mushrooms and superfood to boost your energy. Cacao chai, just a hint of caffeine and a hot chocolate like flavor. Lion's mane for focus. Cordyceps to promote natural energy in both Chaga and Rishi for a healthy immune system. So if you're ready to make the switch to cleaner energy, head tomud watermud wtr.com and grab your starter kit today. Right now. Weirdos get an exclusive deal. Up to 43 off your entire order plus free shipping and a free rechargeable frother. When you use Code Weird, you'll be supporting the show and your morning ritual. That's right up to 43. Off with code weird atmudwtr.com after your purchase tell them we sent you helps us out. Keep your energy natural and refreshing all year long with Mud Water because life's too short for anything less than clean, delicious energy. We're also brought to us by our friends at Modern Mammals. I always want my hair to look good and for years and years my secret was to not wash it. It's kind of a gross secret. Kat, my friend who cuts my hair, last time she cut it, she said running a comb through it is like running a comb through wet cement. It's like the grease trap at Arby's. It's disgusting. But I didn't want to wash it because whenever I did, it looked like tumbleweed. Looked dried and fried and frizzled and fluffy and unmanageable. And I had to coat it with all sorts of products and chemicals that I just didn't want to do. Enter Modern Mammals. The only shampoo that's like a non shampoo that somehow cleans your hair but leaves it perfect. It's like a perfect hair day in 15 seconds. It still has structure, but it has some of its natural moisture and it stays in place, has that flow, and looks incredible. Now when I want my hair to look perfect for a red carpet or a movie premiere or whatever it is, I wash it. It's the complete opposite. So now it's clean and it looks perfect. That is win, win. Over 40,000 guys have switched to this instead of traditional shampoo. Once you go to Modern mammals, you will be hooked for life. I am Hooked for Life is a small punk rock company. I love these guys. They were fed up with shampoo and they made something better. They have the bars, which is like a ph balanced, no plastic, no fragrance, no frills version to kind of clean your hair very lightly. Or the bottle, which is called magic mud, which is more like a traditional shampoo experience that gets in, rinses out, and makes it look perfect in six seconds. Modern mammals.com weird. You can try both the bar and the bottle for 44 bucks, and those will last a very, very, very long time. It's incredible how long they last. Modern mammals.com weird. All right, back to the show. All right. So real fast. And if I was like. If I was like, just a savvy business person, I suppose I would wait until we had the promo code for this company and we're gonna who we're working with. But the fact of the matter is.

[B]

And nobody thinks this will be the only time you talk about this.

[A]

I'm loving this. I need this. I need this. This energy. I seem like Vince Vaughn. This energy. This. I love this. This is great. Keep me in check. I'm on a. I'm on a tightrope and you're my big wobbly stick. Okay. Be my big wobbly stick. And I'm gonna fall. It wasn't very good.

[B]

I thought that was great.

[A]

It was okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Big wobbly stick. Okay.

[B]

Like the. One of the side effects of taking testosterone is you will do more Vince Vaughn impressions.

[A]

That's true. And when I remember last night I did trump and I went, we call it wood. A tree would just call it me. And everybody, everybody died. It was so stupid. Okay. So I started working with this company, Kino Body. They're. We're going to start running some ads for them. And then, like, a lot of companies I work with, they sent me a big old box of stuff. And in that big old box of stuff was this supplement called Mojo. I'm not trying to sell anything to anybody. The ads, I'll be, you know, explaining the virtues of it, but this is just literally what I'm talking about in my life. There's this supplement called Mojo. It's testosterone support. I looked into it, I checked out the ingredients, started taking it. I've been taking it for, like, I don't know, nine days. Tay is day nine. I don't even know what order to go in, but I'll say for like, so it supports your testosterone. So presumably I'm producing more testosterone when I. When I get my blood work done, my testosterone is always low normal, meaning it's in the normal zone, but it's in the low end of normal. So I knew I could stand to increase it, so I started taking it. First thing I noticed was, I mean, well, boner city. It's crazy. You get like, muchos boners. I mean, sorry to be so frank, but you, like, immediately notice this, like, physiological, like, what the fuck? Just talking about kind of like midday. Random bumpy bus boners.

[B]

Bumpy bus boners.

[A]

Bumpy bus boners. In the bubble, baby bump bubble.

[B]

In a bubble, bee bubble, Burl, boo.

[A]

Boo, poppy be bus boners. Oh, I've got a. It's like outer space bus boner. Please, Mr. Kennedy.

[B]

Uh, oh, this is inside Llewyn Davis.

[A]

It's a very inside, very inside Lewy and Davis reference. Anyway, so that. That actually is one of the things. Certainly not an issue for me, but I did enjoy that physiological marker. This is almost over. Second I'm going in order of least interesting to most interesting second is when I work out, when I swim, I swim. I will go double what I normally go. Like, I just won't stop. And it won't be like out of willpower. It'll just be like, this is normal. I should continue like a horse. Ever see a wild horse and it's running for no fucking reason? Yeah, that's a high tea horse. That horse is just listening to a hormone that's saying, you can run, you should run. That's what the horse is thinking. You should.

[B]

You can run and you should run. That's what all Horses are thinking.

[A]

That's the. That's the voice of testosterone, is a screaming voice that says, so I go in clumps of 10 laps. And I just would go, I can do 10 more. And I do 10. I can do 10 more. I can do 10. And I'm just so. Not just energy, but will.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And I. We are talking about a supplement, I suppose, but we're also just talking about what testosterone does and how.

[B]

Yeah, like, hormone.

[A]

Weird. It is. Yeah, hormone. Then the third thing, and this is.

[B]

The most interesting to me, I just add, yeah, hormone.

[A]

I know, I'm steamrolling.

[B]

No, please.

[A]

It's almost over. And then I am going, okay, I'm gonna see what I do.

[B]

I think this is proving you aren't very much in control.

[A]

You can run.

[B]

The testosterone's in control.

[A]

You run is so funny. Can someone please make a video of a horse, a wild horse, so it can't have a person on it ripping ass through a field and then put punch into its face so we feel like we're hearing its thoughts. And then play that audio.

[B]

Yeah. Because I will do another clean sound bite of it.

[A]

You can run. You should run. There you go. Send it to Val's Instagram.

[B]

Any.

[A]

Who's a woozle? The third and most interesting effect is, and we've talked about this a lot, that testosterone is linked to, like, decisiveness. Right? Like decisiveness. Your ability to, like, just kind of. If you look at a decision, like a little hill, we're pushing the roll, the marble up the hill. A lot of times it doesn't make it all the way that that that hill might be get up in the morning or exercise or. Like, one of the first things I noticed was I had a subscription that I had to cancel. Like, one of those annoying. Like, I just. I realize I'm not using this thing. I gotta cancel that subscription. And I go, okay, I'll do it later. And as soon as I'm saying I'll do it later, you can run. Kicks in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like another force.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Writes over that. It's very, like, aggressive. It's like, just do it. And it's not even a command. It's actually just pure will to do it. And before I know it, I'm sitting down. Like, I was writing an email this morning, and I was like, I'll take a look at our calendar and see how many slots we have open for the rest of it. And I just erased it and just wrote, we have 14 slots, or whatever it was. I just looked it up.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Like, you can't.

[B]

God, I need this.

[A]

I'm saying.

[B]

But I don't know.

[A]

This isn't an ad. This is me going, wait, are we all just low T? Like, is that. Is that my thing? And then final. When I'm writing. Because I'm writing a movie right now, and when I sit down to write, obviously, I had my love affair with nicotine. I would say testosterone, which is obviously not addictive, not harmful. It's a naturally occurring compound in your body. Del toro. It's a del toro in your body. I'm feeling of the bull.

[B]

I'm feeling. I feel.

[A]

I go up to Benicio with no context. I'm feeling of the ball. And he goes, that dude's supplementing his tea.

[B]

Yep. He would know.

[A]

When I sit down to write, it's better than nicotine, because nicotine also stimulates. I. I do not endorse nicotine anymore. But it stimulates dopamine.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The problem is it's highly addictive, and it does these other things. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't have the data, but I feel like testosterone must be linked to dopamine, because when I'm writing, I'm. It's just flowing out. I can't stop. If I have a free moment, I want to. I want to work. And I mean it. It sounds too good to be true, but it's been really, really bizarre. I tried to take a nap the other night, and I was like, no, I can't. And instead, I did another swim. I was like, something's changed. So there's two levels. Everything straight. One, testosterone. How interesting. Two. Who the fuck are we?

[B]

Yeah. Hormones, baby.

[A]

It's embarrassing. We've made it before. But I'll say it again. You just. Are your responses to chemicals being produced in your body.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's fucking nuts. Like, where in line? Where is accountability for behavior? Like, if somebody freaked out, like, a roid rage, you know, like, if somebody had, like, a hard moment, I might be like, can we get a. Like a pallet of this person's hormones right now? Or at the time of the incident or whatever it might be. I'm not saying we need to let criminals off the hook. I'm just saying, like, our behavior is a response, and hormones are triggered from food or whatever it is. I don't know what it is.

[B]

I mean, a lot of different. A lot of different things. But, yeah, sugar especially really affects your hormones.

[A]

Well, I ate that delicious. This pad Thai at Sam's last night, and I crashed so hard. I was. I was mad. I was like, why did I do that? Like, I'm. I'm briefly. Lord knows I'll be a different person probably next episode. But, like, briefly becoming a guy, that's like, why would you eat that? I loved it. I'll eat it again. But I'm just saying, like, I'm getting way, way, way in touch of the cause and effect.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Of who cares? You get it?

[B]

Well, I. Yes. I'm with you. And a lot of my friends are going through perimenopause right now, and they are learning this. Like, it's like a whole other moment of life where you're like a teenager. You're like, I can't control this.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I'm a Darius all the time.

[A]

What a brilliant. And. And what is it called? Postpartum.

[B]

Postpartum is another time where you're just like, I. I. Like, that was when I experienced it, where I was like, oh, I am just my hormone. Like, there is no con. And, like, I do believe very strongly that you can regulate your nervous system when, like, you're reactive because you're triggered in some way or there's a trauma response or whatever. I'm not yet convinced that if it's like, a hormonal thing, that you have any power over it. Like, the only control is to just recognize that that's what's happening.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And, like, maybe isolate yourself until you get through it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Or be with a safe person.

[A]

Because love that you said that. That's how I feel when I'm really angry or. Or low.

[B]

Well, remember I had that. Really, that day where I was, like, pissed off. I was like, on my. The first day of my period, and I. This was like, on Tuesday, and you came and I was in the hot tub, like, in this. It was like, a perfect spring day, and I was in the hot tub trying to, like, chill.

[A]

Oh, yeah. And you looked like how I look when I'm at Disneyland. But I'm just off.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I was mad. Donald Duck is next to me. And I'm like, God damn it.

[B]

I was just like. I wasn't even mad about anything specific. There was nothing. I was just like, I am so pissed. And, like, I did go outside to try to.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Re for that sniff set. And there was a crow that would not shut the fuck up. And I was like, you know the way that, like, crows are smart and they know what they're doing. I. I was and maybe still am convinced that that crow was fucking with me. Like, it was.

[A]

I wouldn't put it past a crow.

[B]

I wouldn't put it past a crow.

[A]

I wouldn't put it past a crow. That should be a thing. I wouldn't put it past a crow. But, like, when someone's acting a certain way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You don't think Jim put the sandwich in my car so it would stink. Wouldn't put it past a crow. Hilarious.

[B]

But there's a lot of crow sayings already as the crow flies. Crow.

[A]

Yeah, just those two.

[B]

Anyway, it was with me, like, for, like, 30 minutes. It was just like. And I was like, oh, there's a.

[A]

Reason why people don't keep crows. You'll never go on a. Well, maybe Tim Burton. Marilyn Manson. Yeah, my crow. And it has a name like Philip.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Or. Or I feel like.

[B]

Well, Philip's more of a hawk name, but I know what you mean.

[A]

I think Tim Burton would name his crow a cute name. And I think Marilyn Manson is so in. He'd be like, this is Damocles.

[B]

Damocles.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

That's such a good one. You thought of that so fast.

[A]

Testosterone can't stop.

[B]

Tim Burton would name his crow Raven.

[A]

That's so perfect. Is he still with Helena Boner?

[B]

I don't know. I. I want to say they're not, which would make me very sad. No, because, like, if. If they are not made for each other, like, you know what I mean?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

If Tim Burton doesn't take.

[A]

No, it's like Adam and Eve.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

It's like, you know how Adam and Eve had to be perfectly matched and kind of look similar, I guess.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How do you picture Adam and Eve? I mean, like, I just. Same hair color.

[B]

Yeah. Brown.

[A]

Oh, brown.

[B]

Well, in all the pictures, Mormon.

[A]

Adam and Eve. If you add another book to the Bible, Adam and Eve instantly get blonde hair.

[B]

That makes sense.

[A]

If you take one away, Adam and Eve have black hair.

[B]

Wow. This is just science.

[A]

This is science. This is science.

[B]

This is science.

[A]

Well, I guess not black, but, like, dark brown. I was trying to think of, like, a Hebraic.

[B]

An auburn.

[A]

Yeah. An auburn.

[B]

An auburn.

[A]

Auburn Plaza.

[B]

When did Jesus get blue eyes?

[A]

I mean, that's a documentary I don't want to watch, but it's a good title.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When did Jesus get blue eyes? And it's W. Kamau Bell with his arms crossed. I mean, it's a valid point. I just feel like that's something an investigative journalist would want to.

[B]

It's a valid point.

[A]

It's a valid point. It's A valid point.

[B]

Was that a Vine?

[A]

It was a Vine.

[B]

Oh, my God. Do you remember?

[A]

It's a valid point. It's like what I say when someone makes a valid point. I guess.

[B]

Yeah, I guess so. Do you remember when we were basically flirting through Vine?

[A]

Of course.

[B]

That was like, when we were long distance and every Vine I posted was for you. But then, like, true romance, other people would see it, too.

[A]

Romance, six seconds at a time. Well, that's part of it. Because a wedding is a public declaration of love. Like, we, like, let them see.

[B]

Yeah, look at it. Yeah, look at it.

[A]

Well, yeah. And so flirting in a public way, like, this has been all of time. Like, the proposal and the missed connections. You know, like putting it in the newspaper, getting a billboard, getting a skywriter, proposing at the Super Bowl. All of these things. So much of romance is like, let them see. Like, is it romantic to do something romantic in a cab in, like, Thoreau's Cabin? Like, it is, but less.

[B]

But a public.

[A]

Like getting on one knee in a restaurant. We love it. Because what you're saying when you're being romantic is like, let's make a baby. That means let's fold ourselves. Not necessarily. I'm just saying, like, let's fold ourselves into a community. Let's be a thing. But we'll only be a thing if someone can see us being that thing.

[B]

Yeah, there is. I think there's a lot of things that are romantic, but certainly one of them is, like, a public declaration.

[A]

Yeah, it's say anything. It's Q. Zach's Radio.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Guys, this is Q Sex Radio.

[B]

This is Q Sex Radio.

[A]

It's another one.

[B]

What is the crow one? I already forgot.

[A]

I wouldn't put it past a crow. I wouldn't put it past a crow to. You know, It's a classic Q Sex Radio, that movie. I love Anything.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I don't think I've ever seen it.

[B]

Oh, let's watch it.

[A]

It.

[B]

You know, it does sort of have that 80s thing where you're like, this could. This could have used a bit of editing, like, some trim. The beginning is a little long, and then, like, the third act kind of is less interesting.

[A]

It basically, all the, geez, the director's here. Geez, say anything.

[B]

There's like, a B story with her dad where you're like, I don't know if we really need.

[A]

Well, that was one of the most interesting things PTA said on Mehron. I was trying to find a way to say in a PTA way. He said he Would edit maybe several of the storylines out of Magnolia if he would make it today.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Because he's just like, I was a young man probably high tea. Yeah. Everything back.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

But I just mean, like, without a no leash. Going nuts.

[B]

But I want to know specifically which ones he would edit out, don't you?

[A]

I mean, it's real hard.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Which ones do you pick?

[B]

I know.

[A]

Which ones do you. I can't. I can't trim any.

[B]

Say Anything was one of my, like, high school films. I loved it. And I had such a big crush on. On John Cusack. And this is, like, one of my. The sexiest moments in TV for me or in movies for me, is they have a sex scene in the car. Oh, my God. I can't. Okay. And he, like, you just see sort of the. The afterwards, and he's, like, laying on her, and she's like, you're trembling. And he's.

[A]

And he goes. I know.

[B]

Yeah. He goes. She's like. She says, like, are you cold or something? And he goes, no, just happy. And then she's like, just listen to this song. It's a really good song. And, like, it's. What is the song? Oh, it's in your eyes. The light can heat in your eyes.

[A]

Did you. That's a British song called the Queen.

[B]

The Queen. God Save the Queen. And then that's the song that he's playing on the stereo.

[A]

Oh, Jesus.

[B]

Oh, good.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

This has been Val Recounts John Cusack movie.

[A]

That's all I need because I'll give you. Like, I didn't really enjoy Wicked, but when she sang, I mean, I wasn't not enjoying.

[B]

I know, I know. I know.

[A]

I was enjoying it, but not in the way that I feel. Like, a lot of the people there.

[B]

But I do feel like you should see.

[A]

I understand.

[B]

I think the people who were seeing it had seen it on Broadway or had even seen the movie.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so they were enjoying, like, this rendition of it. But if this is the only rendition.

[A]

But when she sang, hey, everybody. Gravity trying to stop me but I'm not gonna let him. I. I cried. I loved it so much.

[B]

That's so funny because Nishkur.

[A]

So you summarizing. Say anything is the way I want, and I just want to watch Defying Gravity. Let it go.

[B]

Well, Nish Kumar said something really brilliant about Wicked where he's like. He said something like, we'll never know if Wicked is any. Or I'll never know if Wicked is any. Good. Because defying gravity is so good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That, like, I do think a lot of us are just thinking about defying gravity.

[A]

I completely agree.

[B]

When we think of Wicked, a lot.

[A]

Of the humor in musicals is just a joke for everyone. And I'm just like, well, then I have no interest in it, nevertheless, is a joke, and it is not for everyone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's what makes it amazing. But if you have, like, a. Like, a dirty person, be like, I'll be there. And someone's like, are you sure you want to shower? Might want to shower first. And he's like, you think I need one? And everyone just goes, because he's dirty. I can't. It's a lot of that. It's a lot of, like. And there are so many green jokes. They're like, all right, lime girl. And I'm like, right. I just.

[B]

Well, that is a big part of the.

[A]

From the avocado.

[B]

It's a big part of it is that they're, like, judging the color of her skin.

[A]

I'm not trying to take that away.

[B]

I. I mean. You know what I mean? It serves a different purpose than just trying to be funny. I don't think they're like, look, I.

[A]

Realized as I was riffing that I might be neutering the, like, heart of it. I'm just saying, like, how.

[B]

I know what you.

[A]

But it's not just the joke. It's how it's said. And it is said like, that. It's like, over here, avocado girl. And then the chorus, like, laughs. And even when they're laughing, they're, like, holding their belly.

[B]

See this? But. And I just. I know that you like musicals, so this isn't for you. I'm just saying this for anybody listening who might be, like, making. Rushing to a conclusion about musicals. I think people think, for some reason, if you like musicals, you like all musicals, and you think they're all equal. Created equal. So people will, like, watch Rent. I would say Rent and Wicked are two of the. The most. Like, you have to be pretty bought into musicals to enjoy those.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because they are a little ridiculous, certainly. Like, don't even get me started on Cats. But, like, there are these musicals that.

[A]

Are Seen Cats so many times.

[B]

I know. Because your mom.

[A]

Because my mom loves Cats, and my dad is not a thoughtful gift giver. I don't know if that's exactly right. What I'm trying to say is, he hit once with Cats, and then we would just go. It felt like once a year.

[B]

Yeah. And I Mean that those are. If you've seen those musicals and you're like, yeah, I can't do musicals. It's like, please. Yeah, don't. Don't base it on that. No, I know people who love musicals don't like cats, you know?

[A]

Right, right, right. But everyone who has a cat loves musicals.

[B]

Yes. And maybe everyone who has a cat loves cats. I don't know.

[A]

It's hard to know. Not one song about the exposed buttholes.

[B]

I showed Leela Fresh hair butt.

[A]

Fresh hair butt. Then the piano echoes it.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Totally fresh air. But now the chorus has got fresh air. But keep the tail up. It's fresh air, but keep the tail up. And then there's always a hyper masculine fat cat that's like. And everyone can see someone plays a drum bone. It's a fresh hair butt. And then later in the thing, two cats are falling in the oven. They're like, but don't you feel a little exposed? And you hear, that's all it does.

[B]

That's the reprieve reprise.

[A]

Reprieve.

[B]

It's not. It's.

[A]

It's reprieve if you're me.

[B]

Okay. It's Retrieve. What is that?

[A]

Retrieve.

[B]

Retrieve. Retrieve is get. Retreat is leave.

[A]

You. Retrieve means you go towards it. You retreat, and you go away from it.

[B]

I showed.

[A]

And the reprieve is me doing this joke all over again. It's like the Seinfeld ring of hell. He just says that over and over. You can run.

[B]

You should run. I wanted to try it. I wanted to try it. That looks nice.

[A]

That looks nice.

[B]

Testosterone sounds nice.

[A]

Let's look it up. If you can.

[B]

If I can have it. Okay. While you do that, I'm gonna say the last thing about Cats. I didn't see Cats until I was 27 and I saw it stoned with my dear friend Kristen, who had also never seen it and accidentally wore a. Like a black.

[A]

Yes. Jump is one of my favorites with.

[B]

Like a puffy shirt, basically from Seinfeld. Like a flouncy blouse, white blouse. And she came out. She had never seen it. She came out of her room and her now husband was like, oh, yeah, you're. You decided to dress like Mr. Mistoff Lees.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And she was like, I don't know who that is.

[A]

Now, I've put that in the script to explain a lovable but kind of dumb character.

[B]

Okay, well, she's not dumb.

[A]

She's sort of like a dipshit.

[B]

She is not a dip.

[A]

No, I don't think she is a Dipshit. But in my screen, the character was sort of like a lovable, but not super heavy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But lovable like a free person. And she goes, this is the time I went to Cats, and I accidentally dressed like Mr. Mistoffeles. And then you see the picture and everyone laughs. It doesn't say anything about. I think it's for men.

[B]

I know. Like, this is my one. Yeah. I just. I wish that they would be very specific and. And, I mean, you know, gender is construct and stuff, but, like. Okay. Anyway, also, so I saw it stoned with that friend, and it was so fun because it was sort of like, what the hell is this?

[A]

Wait, which show is this again?

[B]

Cats.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

That was my first experience with it, so I actually have a fond memory of seeing it cut to a month ago with Leela. Look, Leela was.

[A]

Wait, just.

[B]

Almost done. Yeah, Leela was. She wanted a song about cats, and we, like, couldn't find a good cat song. And I was like, well, you know, there's a whole musical about cats. So I play, like, on YouTube, I play for her the opening of Cats, and she was just sitting there. I've never really seen her, like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Silently bewildered.

[A]

Like, she's baffled.

[B]

Yeah. Like, she just wasn't. I could tell she didn't know how to feel. Like, she was just sitting there watching it, and she. She was saying, like, I can't tell what they're saying. And I was like, they're saying, like, jellicoe.

[A]

Oh, my God, Jellicoe.

[B]

Cats are. And I was like, honestly, I can't tell what they're saying either, because the. The type of English. It's like an.

[A]

It's like an 80s English.

[B]

Yeah. But not even. It's like old kings. Literate. Like, what is the. The what the Bible is in.

[A]

Yeah, King James.

[B]

King James.

[A]

It's like that.

[B]

It's like, not words.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That we use.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it's done.

[B]

And. And then we just watched it for a little while, and I was like, this is kind of weird, huh? And she was like, yeah. And I was like, yeah, let's watch something else. This is not how I remembered it.

[A]

That's how I felt. Bewildered. But also, I think I'm good. Okay. So I looked it up. Sorry, I didn't mean to do it while you were telling your story. But yes, women can take Keno Bodies Mojo. While it's marketed primarily as a testosterone supplement for men, its ingredients are also beneficial for women. According to Kinobody, the components in Mojo, such as Magnesium boron and tongcat Ali. There's a person in it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Supports hormone balance, mood, energy, and libido in women as well.

[B]

All right, well, there you have it. I'm gonna do it.

[A]

They emphasize that testosterone is important for both men and women and that women today are experiencing a rapid decline in tea. However, it's important to note that kino mojo is not specifically formulated for women. If you're taking it, consider. Especially if you're pregnant, breastfeeding, or managing hormonal conditions, it's best to consult with your. But it's good to consult with your doctor anyway if you're.

[B]

Yeah. Especially if you're messing with your hormones. Well.

[A]

Well, yeah.

[B]

The next.

[A]

Tell that to me. I'm chewing on a Wolverine cigar and thinking of. I. You know what's funny is, like, I do have to sell some ans. And I'm, like, reaching out way more. Like, not aggressively. Like, the emails are always nice and just like, hey. But, like, I'm having way more, like, wait. I love that I should reach out to them. Like, it's just that weird drive. I don't know how to explain it. Yeah, that's exactly how I just did.

[B]

See, I do want. I need some of that. Like, even. Yeah, just the. The forward motion. The horse running. I need a little running horse.

[A]

Yeah, you can run, and you should run. Well, we're very glad everybody was here. Thank you for tuning in Tokyo.

[B]

Thanks for listening.

[A]

And Val, send us on home like a running horse.

[B]

You can run. You should run. Keep it crispy.