Transcript

A (0:00)

You made it weird.

B (0:01)

You made it weird.

A (0:03)

You made it weird.

B (0:04)

Oh, yeah.

A (0:06)

You made it weird. Yes, you did. It made it weird. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

B (0:15)

What's happening, weirdos?

A (0:16)

What's happening, weirdos? We're so glad you're here. We're recording this the day it's coming out. Friday, May 16th.

B (0:22)

It's fresh. It's fresh and fresh. Talk about that tableside ambiance. You'll get it.

A (0:28)

You'll get it.

B (0:28)

You'll get it.

A (0:29)

You'll get that reference.

B (0:30)

You have to listen. Okay.

A (0:34)

No, no. And I love this episode. I always say that if you're new to the show, this is the Friday bonus episode where Valerie and I catch up. And I love this one.

B (0:45)

Yeah. This is a classic. It's light, it's fluffy.

A (0:48)

Light. It's fluffy. Yeah. It's not too. It's not too deep.

B (0:51)

You can get too deep and not spun.

A (0:52)

Very silly.

B (0:53)

Yeah.

A (0:54)

And a pleasure.

B (0:55)

Yeah.

A (0:55)

And it's a pleasure to get to be with you, Val. Thank you for doing it.

B (0:58)

Thank you so much. Much.

A (1:01)

I'm gonna. I'm gonna be too much.

B (1:03)

I like too much.

Summary

"We Made It Weird #218" – with Pete Holmes & Valerie

Podcast: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Episode: We Made It Weird #218
Date: May 16, 2025
Co-host: Valerie (Pete’s wife)
Theme: Lighthearted Friday check-in; exploring everyday weirdness, fun riffs, and a candid discussion of hormones, pop culture, and the joys/absurdities of life.

Episode Overview

In this “light and fluffy” Friday bonus, Pete and Val riff on the strange delights of theater orchestration, getting secretly stoned, hormone-driven personalities, and why rich people might someday order fresh pharmaceuticals tableside (PHARM-to-table). The episode is full of jokes, pop-culture nostalgia (from 90210 to Dawson’s Creek to Cats), and candid talk about how hormones govern so much of our feelings and decisions.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Intro & Vibe Check

Pete and Val set the tone: “Light, it’s fluffy... you can get too deep and not spun. Very silly.” [00:45]
Emphasize the “bonus” feel—just a casual catch-up, full of bits.
Pete’s tour dates are quickly mentioned.

2. Bad Matinee Sound & Orchestras

Pete and Val share a gripe about musical theater sound in the orchestra pit being “too perfect” and “flattened.” [02:59]
- “We went and saw Wicked...I wanted to yell. Turn up! It was so quiet.” – Val [03:37]
Funny comparison of Broadway and church acoustics.
Gently roast their own theater experiences.

3. Secret Highs & Shared Quotes

Pete and Val reminisce about getting “sneaky stoned” and hiding it—only to be totally obvious.
- “What’s the point of just being like, I’m getting stoned and everyone will know? Get stoned, let your laughter betray it.” – Pete [04:25]
Riff: acting as if getting stoned is a crime, playing up the “confession.”
- “Oh, I fucked up, man. I fucked up...like I’d killed somebody.” – Pete [04:36]
Shared joy in “speaking in quotes” from favorite movies—pointing out how fun it is to have a close friend or partner you can do that with.

4. Pop Culture Tangents: 90210 & Dawson’s Creek

Pete’s surprise that Val knows Jason Priestley (note: high nostalgia for 90210).
Goofy verbal slip-ups:
- “902, 1 0.” [07:39]
- “Brandon. Brennan. Not Brennan. Brendan.” – Pete/Val debating character names [08:03]
Val recounts being denied Dawson’s Creek by her mom for being “inappropriate.”
- “I cried myself to sleep because I didn’t want to wait for my life to be over to watch Dawson’s Creek.” – Val [10:23]
Pete shares the “best-ever” joke from Twitter: “Do you know the zip code for Dawson’s Creek? 90108 (for our lives to be over).” [10:51]

5. PHARM-to-Table: The Fancy Drug Restaurant Bit

Pete riffs a scenario: rich people ordering table-side pharmaceuticals at fancy “farm-to-table”-type restaurants.
- “You could order a Xanax or Klonopin and they’d make it tableside like a Caesar salad.” – Pete [13:33]
- The punchline: it gets pressed into a pill and “it’s still warm.” [14:23]
Spin-off: this would be a perfect “Karen scene” in Will & Grace.
- “Why are your pills warm?” “They’re fresh, sweetheart.” [15:55]
Joke debated as more a background gag for a satire than a full sketch.

6. Paul Thomas Anderson’s Joke: “Nevertheless”

Pete retells a favorite joke from WTF with Marc Maron and Paul Thomas Anderson [16:36]:
- Burt Reynolds kept saying “nevertheless” in Boogie Nights. Ricky Jay laughs. Ricky Jay’s story: Mayor intro’ing national anthem singer; heckler yells “Kathy Cohen sucks!”—mayor says, “Nevertheless...” [19:06]
- “Not even ignoring it...he’s supposed to say, ‘Sir, sit down,’ but just ‘nevertheless!’” – Pete [19:18]
- Discussing the mechanics of why it’s so funny (lack of social correction, public shame).

7. National Anthems, Songs & ChatGPT

Playful roast on how countries have “songs,” and U.S. adapted God Save the Queen for “My Country, ‘Tis of Thee.” [22:31]
- “No, ChatGPT knows a lot more than how to fix my spelling mistakes.” – Pete [22:36]
- Pete notes Lila (their daughter) loves ChatGPT’s polite answers.

8. Conversations, Personality, and “Crispy” Energy

Pete reflects on the difficulty of group conversations (prefers stand-up for its clarity).
Pete and Val discuss the social dance of asking/answering questions; Pete admits he tries to invite others in.
Silly banter: “PF Changs” and “peepee poo poo.”

9. Father Greg Boyle & McDonald’s (“McNalgas”)

Pete relays he asked Fr. Greg why the homies say “McNalgas” for McDonald’s; “nalga” means buttcheeks.
- “Is that because the M in McDonald’s looks like an ass?” ‘You’re overthinking it.’” – Father Greg [26:53]
- Pete plans to have Greg and Richard Rohr on as future podcast guests.

10. Testosterone Supplement Saga & Hormone Talk (Begins after mid-show ads: [32:19])

Pete shares trying “Kino Body Mojo” (testosterone supplement sent to him).
- “First thing I noticed was boner city. Muchos boners.” [34:13]
- “When I work out…I just won’t stop. Like a wild horse running for no reason? That’s a high-T horse!” – Pete [35:35]
Val: “One of the side effects of taking testosterone is you’ll do more Vince Vaughn impressions.” [32:45]
Pete: Boost in decisiveness—canceling subscriptions, getting things done.
- “The voice of testosterone is a screaming voice that says, you can run, you should run.” [35:42], [37:00]
Both discuss how hormones drive personality, motivation, even accountability.
- “You just are your responses to chemicals being produced in your body.” – Pete [39:56]
Val compares this to perimenopause, postpartum, and the teenage years—times when emotions are obviously hormone-driven and out of conscious control.
- “I’m not yet convinced that if it’s a hormonal thing that you have any power over it.” – Val [41:45]
Pete wonders, “Who are we? Are we just (a) response to chemicals?” [39:43]

11. Crow Bit, More Hormone Philosophy, and Tim Burton

Val’s annoyed by a crow seemingly heckling her; Pete coins, “I wouldn’t put it past a crow.” [43:03]
Defining lines: “You can run. You should run.” (looped as a catchphrase for hormone-driven motivation) [35:42], [37:00], [59:25]
Tangent: What would Tim Burton or Marilyn Manson name their pet crows? (Damocles, Raven)

12. Public Declarations of Love & Old Social Media Flirting

Val remembers flirting via Vine with Pete when they were long-distance.
- “Every Vine I posted was for you—but, like, true romance, other people would see it too. Romance, six seconds at a time.” – Val [45:37]
Pete muses on why so much romance is public performance.
- “So much of romance is, like, let them see. Is it romantic to do something in Thoreau’s cabin? Yes, but less.” [46:27]
- Proposing in public, songs, “look at us.”

13. Musical Theater Riffs: Wicked, Rent, Cats, and Fresh-Haired Butts

Joke about Wicked’s corny humor, how “Defying Gravity” is a standout song, and musicals judged by their best number.
- “Nish Kumar said, ‘We’ll never know if Wicked is any good because Defying Gravity is so good.’” – Val [50:08]
Cat-butthole musical riff: Pete sings about “Fresh hair butt.”
- “…then there’s always a hypermasculine fat cat that’s like—and everyone can see—someone plays a trombone: it’s a fresh hair butt.” [53:20]
Val recounts seeing Cats stoned with a friend who accidentally dressed like Mr. Mistoffelees. [55:04]
Their daughter Leela’s confusion when shown Cats videos: “She was just sitting there watching... she just wasn’t, I could tell she didn’t know how to feel.” – Val [56:53]

14. Women & Hormone Supplements

Pete researches if women can take the supplement he’s using—confirms, but recommends seeing a doctor first. [57:46]
Val: “I need some of that—just the forward motion, the horse running. I need a little running horse.” [59:03]

Notable Quotes & Moments

Pete (on being stoned): “I was holding onto the sun. Like something I think is as funny as the sun is bright, but I can’t quite bring you there with me... Turns out I’m on the sun.” [05:03–05:29]
Val (on hormone mood swings): “It’s like a whole other moment of life where you’re like a teenager. You’re like, I can’t control this.” [41:15]
Pete (on musical theater jokes): “A lot of the humor in musicals is just a joke for everyone. And I’m just like, well then I have no interest in it; ‘nevertheless’ is a joke, and it is not for everyone.” [50:29]
Pete (on finding decisiveness): “Before I know it, I’m sitting down... I was writing an email this morning, and I just erased it and wrote, we have 14 slots...I just looked it up.” [38:11]

Timestamps for Important Segments

Intro, vibe, and tour dates: [00:15–01:03]
Theater orchestration & Wicked sound: [02:57–03:41]
Sneaky stoned confession & shared quotes: [04:09–06:50]
Pop culture nostalgia (90210, Dawson’s Creek): [07:22–10:34]
“PHARM-to-table” joke & Will and Grace bit: [12:19–16:11]
Paul Thomas Anderson’s “Nevertheless” joke: [16:36–21:08]
National anthems, musical melodies, AI: [22:00–25:07]
Father Greg Boyle & McDonald’s bit: [26:31–27:15]
Testosterone supplement & hormone discussion: [32:19–41:45]
Crow and public displays of love: [43:00–47:00]
Musicals and Cat butts: [51:28–54:35]
Cats, nostalgia, and Leela’s confusion: [55:04–57:46]
Can women take testosterone supplements discussion: [57:46–59:13]

Tone & Language

Casual, silly, and affectionate.
Pete and Val speak in tangent-rich, playful riffs.
Big on in-jokes, running bits (“you can run, you should run”), and open-ended musings.
Most jokes are self-aware, with both hosts poking fun at each other and themselves.

Recap

Filled with nostalgia, silliness, and thoughtful musings about hormones, identity, and social performance, this episode captures the “classic” Friday energy of We Made It Weird—sharing the private jokes and everyday absurdities that make life, well, weird.

Closing mantra:
“You can run. You should run. Keep it crispy.” — [59:25]