Podcast Summary: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Episode: We Made It Weird #220
Date: June 13, 2025
Host: Pete Holmes
Co-host: Valerie (Val) Holmes

Episode Overview

This episode is a classic, informal "We Made It Weird" installment where Pete and Val Holmes riff about everything from musical impressions to deep, therapeutic breakthroughs. The first half is light, filled with comedic banter, spontaneous jokes, and playful bits. The second half (starting around [28:00]) transitions into a meaningful discussion, with Pete sharing personal therapy breakthroughs, reflections on family obligations, and the power of "found family." Listeners are taken through laughter and vulnerability, exemplifying the signature "weirdness" and depth of the show.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Two Halves of the Episode ([00:30]–[01:29])

• Pete and Val preview the episode's tone: the first half is "a bit dumb...bits, bits, bits," while the second half is "deep, meaningful, therapeutic" ([00:35]–[01:03]).
• Listener tip: For those in a "thoughtful, profound" mood, jump to minute 28 or 29 ([01:03]).

2. Mood Boosts & Physical Activity ([06:38]–[10:20])

• Rediscovering how exercise and sunshine lift spirits: Val notes, "for the millionth time...I just need to be taking better care of my mind, body, spirit" ([08:54]).
• Seasonal Rhythms: Pete discusses how the cyclical nature of life and mood parallels podcast episodes, encouraging listeners to embrace these patterns ([09:10]).
• Australian Perspective on Seasons: Val shares that some Australians don't think in terms of seasons, highlighting cultural differences in perception ([09:49]).

3. Classic Riffing & Recurring Jokes ([10:21]–[27:38])

• Musical Parodies and Impressions: The pair dive into a running joke about the State Farm jingle and instrument impressions ([07:20], [07:47]).
• Bob Dylan's Harmonica Skills ([13:24]–[15:09]):
  • Pete asks, "Do we like Bob Dylan's harmonica playing, or is it just like he has a harmonica?" ([13:24]).
  • Val defends Dylan: "If it sounds sloppy, you're doing it right" ([14:51]).
• Impression Olympics: They try Owen & Luke Wilson, Robert Downey Jr., and Bill Murray voices, riffing on their performances ([18:08]–[20:58]).
• Meta Comedy: Jokes about the mechanics of marriage, divorce, and keeping promises playfully surface ([16:40]–[17:50]).
• Podcast = "30 TikToks mashed together" ([15:42]).

4. Show Business Anecdote ([27:06]–[33:52])

• Singing 'Beulah Land' on Set: Pete describes a recent movie scene where he was excited to sing "Beulah Land," only to discover it was an obscure, atonal Christian hymn he couldn't confidently perform ([27:06]–[33:52]).
  • “You don’t know what it’s like to be in the desert wearing a suit with a camera two inches from your face, singing a song you have little to no confidence in” – Pete ([33:00]).
• Issues with Song Rights & Bizarre Lyrics: He shares frustration with clearing music rights and tortured attempts to remember nonsensical lyrics.

5. Therapy Breakthrough & Family Dynamics ([38:09]–[62:43])

• Swimming as Meditation ([38:24]–[41:48]):

  • Pete champions swimming as his preferred exercise, finding it meditative, quiet, and life-changing.
  • Credits Mike Birbiglia for the incremental approach: “Incrementally, get to a point where you can swim for 30 minutes” – Mike Birbiglia (as referenced by Pete) ([39:14]).

• Val’s Food & Mood Cycle ([41:56]–[45:28]):

  • Val reflects on sliding into unhealthy habits and getting “less alive,” describing the cycles of letting loose, then recalibrating.
  • “It always hits a certain point for me where I go like, okay, now I can feel that this is making me less alive.” – Val ([42:37]).

• Daily, Not Weekly, Goals:

  • Influenced by a friend’s advice, Pete embraces setting everyday intentions over rigid weekly schedules, especially for folks with ADHD ([47:10]–[48:38]).

• Major Therapy Insight – On Family Obligation & Found Family ([49:56]–[62:43]):

  • Pete discusses his realization that much of his familial obligation is rooted in the desire to “look normal,” referencing “There Will Be Blood” and “American Psycho” as cultural touchpoints ([52:30]–[53:43]).
  • “You have to seem like, even if it’s not true. Like, look like it.” – Pete ([54:19]).
  • He recognizes the difference between performative family relationships and genuine, reciprocal connection, and how “chosen family” can offer the real nourishment he sought.
  • Val emphasizes the science of “reparenting” and the brain’s ability to form nurturing bonds with chosen family: “Science has shown that we can reparent each other, that our brains stay malleable our whole lives.” – Val ([60:38]).
  • They explore the grief of unmet needs from birth family but express deep gratitude for the supportive community they’ve built.
  • Pete’s image of “protector” parts in therapy, updating their job to now guard something truly worthy: “Protect this. Protect something that’s worthy of your protect.” ([56:54]).
  • “Don’t go to the hardware store for milk.” – Pete ([57:09]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “A podcast is like...30 TikToks all mashed together.” – Val ([15:42])
• “Don’t go to the hardware store for milk.” – Pete ([57:09])
• “It always hits a certain point for me where I go like...now I can feel that this is making me less alive.” – Val ([42:37])
• “You don’t know what it’s like to be in the desert wearing a suit with a camera two inches from your face, singing a song you have little to no confidence in.” – Pete ([33:00])
• “Science has shown that we can reparent each other, that our brains stay malleable our whole lives.” – Val ([60:38])
• “Don’t just protect the image—protect something genuinely good.” – Pete’s therapy takeaway ([56:54])

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Silly Bits & Impressions: [06:38]–[28:00]
• Movie Anecdote – 'Beulah Land' Story: [27:06]–[33:52]
• Therapy & Family Obligations: [38:09]–[62:43]
• Discussion on Found Family & Neuroplasticity: [55:10]–[61:35]

Episode Tone

The episode swings from wild, irreverent bits and musical impressions to sincere soul-searching and relatable, hard-won wisdom. Pete and Val’s dynamic remains compassionate, warm, and goofy, playing off each other seamlessly through both the absurd and the profound.

Summary for Non-Listeners:
If you’re looking for a mix of heartfelt introspection and laugh-out-loud improv, Episode #220 offers both. Pete and Val walk listeners through seasonal self-care epiphanies, the struggle and relief of resetting habits, and the hard but healing work of redefining family. Both stick the landing: “keep it crispy” and weird, together.