We Made It Weird #242

Summary

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes – We Made It Weird #242 (Feb 27, 2026)

Episode Overview

This special episode of We Made It Weird is a celebratory and intimate edition, marking Valerie's birthday. Pete Holmes and his wife Valerie indulge in their signature wide-ranging, unfiltered banter, navigating topics like sexuality in long-term relationships, evolving self-acceptance, embodiment, celebrity crushes, creativity, and spiritual non-duality. The conversation is playful and self-aware, weaving together personal milestones with philosophical inquiry, all carried by Pete and Val’s affectionate, goofy dynamic.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Birthday Vibes and Self-Celebration

• [00:25] It's Valerie's birthday episode, and the couple reflects on the idea of embodying fun and fulfillment, especially in adulthood.
• Valerie shares her pride in planning joyful birthday activities (dinner, dancing, connecting with friends).
  • Valerie [64:32]: "I do my birthday well. Like I just go like, what is your perfect day, Val? Just like make that happen."
• They joke about birthday traditions, with Pete expressing deep admiration for Valerie’s current season of growth:
  • Pete [31:59]: “This is what it looks like when somebody starts filling out the suit and blossoming and ... your roots are so strong they’re breaking the pot, and you just...You're in full–oh, we thought it was a little flower, it’s...a sunflower the size of the sun.”

2. Pop Culture, Celebrities, and Evolving Attraction

• Extensive riffing on celebrity beauty standards and crushes—Beyoncé, JLo, Sandra Bullock, Kevin Costner, Henry Cavill, Jacob Elordi, Oscar Isaac, and more.
  • Pete [09:05]: “Asses are tops of legs, and that’s how I feel after I’ve had sex. ...then asses are a whole planet. They’re a whole currency. They’re a whole aisle of the grocery store. They’re like half the store. Trader hoes.”
• Debates over the archetype of male and female beauty through the decades:
  • On Sandra Bullock: “I feel very strongly about it. Sandra Bullock is Kevin Costner.” [12:43]
  • On the evolution of male beauty: “Men weren’t even interested in how they were looking for so long.” [14:45]
• Val reflects on how her own orientation and attractions have shifted from her 20s to her 30s.
  • Valerie [23:12]: “I was a lot more queer in my 20s than I am in my 30s. ...Now I’m becoming, like, even more feminine in this, like, old school way and ...craving, like, a burly....”

3. Sexuality, Gender Roles, and the Shadow

• Reflecting honestly (and with self-conscious disclaimers) on their sex life, the couple discusses how their sexual dynamic has become more “traditional/heteronormative” as non-physical aspects of their lives flourish.
  • Pete [34:19]: “Our sex is more male, female, classic...Traditional is better than classic. ...I’m aggressive. I’m big. I’m—Me, man, me strong. You, lady, you…”
  • Valerie [35:06]: “...We do bring all of that good life force energy into our relationship, which is going to affect every aspect of our relationship, but especially, like, vital life force energy is sort of the same energy as sexual energy.”
• They dig into the complexity and "shadow" of sexuality, referencing Nora Ephron’s essay about feminist expectations and bedroom desires.
  • Valerie [37:02]: “That’s why it’s interesting is like I’m so interested in the fact that our shadow selves are...meant to hide away and feel ashamed. And our shadows do have a role in every aspect of our lives, including sexuality.”
• Discussion of how sexuality and desires can diverge from conscious ideologies, and how healthy relationships create safe containers to explore that.

4. Fulfillment, Self-Acceptance & Age Milestones

• Pete shares a new level of contentment and acceptance in his 40s, referencing the idea that “if it’s not fun, don’t do it; if you have to do it, make it fun.”
  • Pete [44:06]: “I just found a way where I’m just like, I’m okay with how I am. ...It’s like I'm digesting my food, my heart is beating, and my personality is emerging.”
• They compare the “hustle” of the 30s versus the “harvest” of the 40s, offering both personal and observed insight.
  • Pete [41:12]: “...the 30s seem for so many to be when you’re planting the seeds. ...the 40s is when the harvest happens.”
• Both acknowledge how their long-term partnership has positively changed the way they love themselves and each other.
  • Valerie [47:50]: “...you already had the most self-love of anyone I ever knew. But it was more in the realm of what you offer the world...I have always had a hard time loving myself that way and I feel like you’ve helped me...”
  • Pete [48:13]: “I like that you’re weird.”

5. Non-Duality, Spiritual Practice, and Present-Moment Awareness

• In the second half, Pete dives into his ongoing interest in non-duality (esp. John Wheeler and Rupert Spira), summarizing key teachings and his practical experience.
  • Pete [51:25]: “...he just goes, what are you talking about? It’s it. And now go into it and experience your true self. ...all of your problems stem from having the wrong idea about what you are.”
  • The sense of “I am that spacious, fresh aliveness within which disappointments come and go…” [50:32–51:25]
• Valerie expands, noting the importance of integrating non-dual awareness back into the body and the human experience, not just transcending it.
  • Valerie [53:07]: “...we take the awareness that we are...and then we bring that back into our human experience and look at all of our parts through that lens so that all of these parts can be integrated.”
• Both agree that with deeper self-awareness, the outer world becomes more light, vibrant, and less burdensome.

6. Parenting, Playfulness, and Favorite Things

• Pete shares a bedtime exchange with their daughter Leela, using non-duality language to soothe her, only for her to respond, “What if I don’t have one? [an awareness] ...Then how are you hearing me right now?” [61:30]
• The couple gleefully discusses their upcoming plans to see a favorite movie for Val’s birthday.
• Playful debates about food vs. drink—what is better, being hungry and eating, or thirsty and drinking—and their favorite kinds of thirst-quenching beverages.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “Asses are tops of legs, and that’s how I feel after I’ve had sex....Trader hoes.”
  Pete Holmes, 09:05
• “I was a lot more queer in my 20s than I am in my 30s.”
  Valerie, 23:12
• “Our sex is more male, female...Traditional is better than classic. ...Me, man, me strong. You, lady, you.”
  Pete Holmes, 34:19
• “I think being more fulfilled comes with also more confidence. ...Like, I wouldn’t have the type of sex that we have with someone who I wasn’t 100% sure that they respected me…”
  Valerie, 33:51
• “They thought I was into Scientology. Elrond. I’m more into Efron. As in Nora. Peace.”
  Pete Holmes, 36:10
• “Shadow selves...have a role in every aspect of our lives, including sexuality.”
  Valerie, 37:02
• “I’m okay with how I am...It’s like I’m digesting my food, my heart is beating, and my personality is emerging.”
  Pete Holmes, 44:06
• “Val, you’re just blossoming. You’re in your prime.”
  Pete Holmes, 31:59
• “We take the awareness that we are, and then we bring that back into our human experience and look at all of our parts through that lens so that all of these parts can be integrated.”
  Valerie, 53:07
• Leela [7 yrs], when Pete waxes non-dual at bedtime:
  “What if I don’t have one [an awareness]?”
  Leela & Pete, 61:30

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:25 – Birthday episode announcement and celebration preview
• 03:01 – Pete plugs upcoming comedy special and YouTube premiere
• 06:21 – Pop culture riffs: Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Pulp Fiction, asinine banter
• 09:05 – “Trader hoes” riff on body types and sexualization
• 12:13 – Sandra Bullock as the 90s J.Lo, Kevin Costner parallel
• 14:45 – Hotness and beauty evolution in media and real life
• 22:45 – “Let the algo know” on internet search behavior
• 23:12 – Valerie’s shifting queerness and new desires in her 30s
• 24:23–25:29 – Wuthering Heights and the complexity of erotic power play
• 33:17–34:50 – Transparency about evolving, traditional sexual dynamics
• 35:54–36:10 – Pete’s “Efron, not Elrond” slam poem riff
• 37:01–39:33 – Shadow work, desire, and self-acceptance in sexuality
• 41:12–45:24 – 30s as ‘planting’, 40s as ‘harvest’; self-acceptance through age
• 48:13–51:25 – Non-duality, the teaching of John Wheeler and spiritual peace
• 53:07–56:16 – Integrating spiritual realization into daily embodied life
• 61:30 – Leela’s adorable philosophical comeback at bedtime
• 62:29–65:58 – Val’s perfect birthday plan: movie, dinner, dancing, joy
• 66:09–67:53 – Food vs. drink: thirsty vs. hungry argument; juice cravings

---

Tone and Style

• The tone is candid, humorous, self-effacing, deeply affectionate, and willing to mine awkwardness. Both Pete and Valerie freely navigate IRL intimacy, shame, lust, and philosophical insight, reflecting the podcast’s mission to expose secret weirdness in everyone.
• Language vacillates between the comic, the earnest, and the philosophical. Pete’s comedic instincts run up against his earnest love of spiritual inquiry; Valerie tempers and deepens the dialogue with nuance and vulnerability.
• There’s frequent breaking of the fourth wall—acknowledging the audience and their perceptions—plus meta-awareness about inclusivity and not wanting to speak for everyone.

---

Summary Takeaway

This episode exemplifies why You Made It Weird remains endearing and substantial: Pete and Valerie’s willingness to reveal both their silliest and most searching selves. Topics spiral from pop culture silliness to bedroom honesty, from dancing with friends to embracing spiritual presence. Throughout, their celebration of each other’s weirdness and their delight in personal growth provide an uplifting window into love, self-acceptance, and the complex joy of being human.

---

“Keep it crispy.”

Transcript

[Valerie]

Lemonade.

[Pete Holmes]

You made it weird with Pete Holmes. That was one of the best endings. Valerie.

[Valerie]

What's happening, weirdo?

[Pete Holmes]

Welcome to the show. It's the Valerie birthday episode.

[Valerie]

Tomorrow's my birthday, and for your birthday,

[Pete Holmes]

we got 20 minutes of me talking about non duality in the second half. Happy birthday. Just what you wanted. Nice dry direct pointing to our essential nature. But lots of food talk, lots of sex talk. Lots.

[Valerie]

Yeah, some sexy sex talk. It's like. I'll just tell you this as a teaser. It's the kind of sex talk where as soon as we turn off these mics, I'm gonna go. That was okay, right? We don't need to edit anything that I said out, right?

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know what you're talking about, so we'll just address that on mic.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What do you mean? Because it was kind of like gender normative.

[Valerie]

Yeah, I guess.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, we're acknowledging that you're about to. That part. You're gonna hear two people. And I'm. Like I said when we were talking about it, earnestly wanting to be very inclusive.

[Valerie]

Yeah,

[Pete Holmes]

I'm the worst. I'm the worst. It came out in.

[Valerie]

And he tried to talk through it.

[Pete Holmes]

I tried to like Mulaney's bit. My God. Too good. Anyway, I think you were beautiful, as always.

[Valerie]

All right.

[Pete Holmes]

I think people are aware of intent and.

[Valerie]

Yeah, we have to trust that.

[Pete Holmes]

We're just trying to talk about our experience and.

[Valerie]

And just doing our best we can.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Valerie]

He's fading. He's fading, he's fading.

[Pete Holmes]

It's hot in here. Okay, I do want to say. I don't. It said to mention the book. My kid's book is getting like a.

[Valerie]

What?

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know. Look, look, I sent myself an email. March 4th cover reveal. Oh. Oh, okay. So that's cool. I'm not gonna mention it yet. Oh, I guess I'll say. I'm not gonna say much about it, but on March 4th in People magazine.

[Valerie]

In People magazine.

[Pete Holmes]

Val, it's not 1992.

[Valerie]

It is to me.

[Pete Holmes]

People website, formerly the magazine. I'm just kidding. I thought it was cool that it was People magazine too.

[Valerie]

I just showed my age. I showed that I'm about to be 37 because I got exc magazine.

[Pete Holmes]

Look, I love an Entertainment Weekly. What are you nuts?

[Valerie]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But People magazine, very graciously. Thank you. People magazine is doing my cover reveal for awesome. That'll be out. And I don't know what else I'm supposed to say. I'm also going to plug the YouTube special. We're uploading it on March 24th.

[Valerie]

The upload. Premiere.

[Pete Holmes]

We say the premiere. We're gonna, we're gonna make it not private. On March 24th. And.

[Valerie]

And it's at like five. I think it's at five.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm gonna be live. I don't even know live commenting.

[Valerie]

You're the worst at this.

[Pete Holmes]

This is what we talk about in the episode. I'm just like, just. I don't know.

[Valerie]

Yeah, yeah, it's fine. It'll be fine. But it'll be out. It's gonna be.

[Pete Holmes]

It's actually out right now. You can go to 800 pound. Yeah. You can pre order it.

[Valerie]

But they can watch it.

[Pete Holmes]

You can watch it.

[Valerie]

You can.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. If you. But you have to pay for it. And if you wait a little bit, it'll be free on, on YouTube. Yeah. If you go to 800poundgorilla media dot com.

[Valerie]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

Look. Pete Holmes. Silly Silly Fun by Pete Holmes. Watch now. You can watch it.

[Valerie]

Oh my gosh.

[Pete Holmes]

And. But I believe you have to pay. And I look, I appreciate it. That money. Yeah. You. You pick your price. It can be as little as 10 bucks.

[Valerie]

That's cool.

[Pete Holmes]

Good.

[Valerie]

You guys, it's such a good special. And Pete's hair looks great.

[Pete Holmes]

My hair does look pretty.

[Valerie]

It looks. Your hair looks.

[Pete Holmes]

I look like a dentist.

[Valerie]

What?

[Pete Holmes]

Remember in Rudolph.

[Valerie]

Oh yeah, Herbie.

[Pete Holmes]

I got that.

[Valerie]

I am not just a knit. What?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that's me. Modern mammals, baby. It works. Okay. We're glad you're here. That's not what I mean.

[Valerie]

You don't. Are you gonna do your, your oh yeah shows?

[Pete Holmes]

I don't. Let's. Yes. Go to PeteHomes.com I'm going to Michigan next and Largo. Largo on March 7th. And that's going to be a lot of fun.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And. But mostly pushing YouTube. Silly silly fun boy. And we're glad you're here. And it's. It's a great. I'm always glad to have these little recorded dates. Contigo.

[Valerie]

Me too. All right, everybody, thanks for being here. Get into it. Hey there, it's Julia Louis Dreyfus. I'm back with a new season of Wiser Than Me. The show where I sit down with remarkable older women and soak up their stories, their humor and their hard earned wisdom. Every conversation leaves me a little smarter and definitely more inspired. And yes, I'm still calling my 91 year old mom Judy to get her take on it. All Wiser Than Me from Lemonade Media is Out now, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Pete Holmes]

It's morning in new york. Hey, everybody, I'm Mandy Patinkin.

[Valerie]

And I'm Kathryn Grody.

[Pete Holmes]

And we have a new podcast. It's called don't listen to us.

[Valerie]

Many of you have asked for our advice.

[Pete Holmes]

Tell me, what is wrong with you people. Don't listen to us. Our take it or leave it advice show every Wednesday.

[Valerie]

Out now. A Lemonada Media original.

[Pete Holmes]

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

[Valerie]

When I'm here. Meet me here.

[Pete Holmes]

When I'm here. Should we play? No, we don't have to play that. I was gonna say we should play, though. You think play what?

[Valerie]

Just like play. Should we play? Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That's one of my favorite parts of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, which is not always my favorite.

[Valerie]

It's not a hundred percent. It's a little outdated.

[Pete Holmes]

I just think it's outdated. I think probably when it came out, it was 100% came out.

[Valerie]

I think when I was a wimpy kid.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. But Precisamundo. In the way that a lot of great things that I think kind of crack or name something, a tone, a style. This is a children's book called Diary of Wimpy Kid. It became a movie.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It famously became a movie.

[Valerie]

Yeah. I think it's pretty well known.

[Pete Holmes]

Pretty well known.

[Valerie]

Pretty. Pretty well.

[Pete Holmes]

It's in the way that, like, I'm gonna say something kind of crazy. Like the way Pulp Fiction.

[Valerie]

That's crazy.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, no, no, no. I love Pulp Fiction is one of my all time favorite movies. Oh, he needs. Can you put that up?

[Valerie]

I know I was gonna say something echoey.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Can you. Would you mind? And I'll just finish this, but I'll point about.

[Valerie]

Of course.

[Pete Holmes]

Pulp Fiction. Just after Pulp Fiction came out, we really had a love affair with the, like, asinine conversation. I want to marry you tomorrow and every day after. Yes.

[Valerie]

Ass.

[Pete Holmes]

Asinine. What a dumb word. But these stupid con. Well, it's funny that the other word is banal. So it's either banal or ass. It's anal or ass. Do you think that's on? That's better. Thank you, Valerie. We just put like these cushions up to make it sound better. We loved criminals. Like, talking about, like, how Starbucks is tall, grande, and you know what I mean? And then like robbing a place. Do you know what I'm talking about?

[Valerie]

Kind of. I was thinking of this joke. Are you ready?

[Pete Holmes]

I can't wait.

[Valerie]

Ask me if I think Beyonce's hot.

[Pete Holmes]

Is Beyonce hot?

[Valerie]

I'd Give her asinine. It was.

[Pete Holmes]

I really like that it wasn't worth JLo. More of the agreed upon. I don't mean to be grading and labeling. Look, I'm not. I don't even have an opinion. I was gonna say I don't even have an opinion.

[Valerie]

No, listen. I was gonna say Kim Kardashian, which would, you know. But then that would be a tag.

[Pete Holmes]

You're having me. Oh, I'd give her as a nine. I will say, though, you did it by Design. As a nine.

[Valerie]

As a nine. And look, okay, I love JLo as much as every single person in America, which is. I think everybody. We agree on her. But I. I do think that I'm just. I'm just a Beyonce girl. So if it. And I think their asses are. I think Beyonce's body is perfect.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm gonna say something, and I. Maybe I've said it before, and it's somebody else's bit, and I don't remember whose, but asses are tops of legs, and that's how I feel after I've had sex. Sure. And then it builds and it builds and it builds. And then asses are a whole planet. They're a whole currency. They're a whole aisle of the grocery store. They're like half the store. Trader hoes.

[Valerie]

Trader trader hoes.

[Pete Holmes]

Trader hose is selling dem buns. And then, you know, Whole Foods when you. When a lady. Whole Foods. Whole Foods. Where'd you get these guys? Whole fools.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait, that would work. If they're eating munchkins, like, donut holes, and they're going nuts for them. It's like, what is this? Whole fools.

[Valerie]

Whole fools.

[Pete Holmes]

That's the worst.

[Valerie]

Is it like. Isn't it a thing where people call it whole paycheck?

[Pete Holmes]

I often say that.

[Valerie]

Oh, I. I never know what's a thing and what is.

[Pete Holmes]

Just because you and I are our thing. In fact, that's a nice place to start. I'm noticing. I'm gonna say something. Kind of a bold little statement to get the episode started, because I think it's worth mentioning. I'm, like, the happiest I've ever been, I think, today. Pardon me. Oh, God, that was the worst. Oh, God, that was the worst. That burp. Somebody's talking about how happy they are, and then they burp. I'm like the king in the Return of the King that's eating the tomatoes while Pippin sings, and he's like, you know what I'm talking about? He's like. He's Gorging.

[Valerie]

Yes. Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And he's like, on the Mordor will fall. And, like, everyone's dying. Not quite. But I'm just saying, I know people might not be feeling that great. Well, what a weird place to start. I can't. I can't talk about how others are feeling.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But the reason I'm sharing that I feel so good is because I think it's worth unpacking. Yeah. Because, like, why. And I think one of the reasons is for everybody. I'm gonna back away from the whole guilt of feeling happy.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Just move through.

[Pete Holmes]

Just move through this. Move right through it. Just keep moving. We're walking. Remember when that was funny?

[Valerie]

Okay. And we're walking.

[Pete Holmes]

We're walking. It's like David Spade's heyday. Like, bye, bye, bye, bye.

[Valerie]

And we're walking. It was like.

[Pete Holmes]

That was.

[Valerie]

It was at the same time where it was like. Well, that happened.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah. Check, please. Which I still think is very funny also.

[Valerie]

This is awkward.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yep. Of all of those. Check, please. Is my favorite, I think. Check, please. If I'm making, like, the joke hall of fame. Check, please. Belongs in there. And so you're going to laugh. He's standing right behind me, isn't he? Is so funny. Ah, it's so good.

[Valerie]

What did we just watch that had that. I just watched something.

[Pete Holmes]

Sounds like something you might be watching.

[Valerie]

Oh, I. Maybe it was in Pretty Woman. Like, I was watching a lot of 90s movies.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Valerie]

And it. And it.

[Pete Holmes]

He's standing right behind me. Is.

[Valerie]

Oh, no, it's. It's Miss Congeniality.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Valerie]

So they are, like, putting the. It's so. It's, like, so outdated, but I still love it. They're putting all. They're trying to see who should go undercover for the. The Miss America.

[Pete Holmes]

Sandra Bullock, who we talk about White Low. J. Lo of the 90s.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

White lady Low.

[Valerie]

Everybody loves.

[Pete Holmes]

We all agreed as hard on Sandra Bullock.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm gonna say something, and I feel very strongly about it. Sandra Bullock is Kevin Costner.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

A huge super. No, I'm not saying they. Neither of them is done.

[Valerie]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Kevin Costner.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Is still Kevin Costner. Sandra Bullock can still open a movie. She just doesn't. She's not doing it very much.

[Valerie]

She's not doing it very much. She's still in the mix.

[Pete Holmes]

She's in the mix. I'd be like, oh, Sandra Bullock's in that.

[Valerie]

Okay. I thought you were like, I don't know. I do think it's not totally a parallel but maybe that's just because Sandra Bullock is a way bigger deal to me than Kevin Costner.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, Kevin Costner is a great. Like looking at Sandra Bullock and then looking at Kevin Costner is a good way of understanding just why women are just like so much better. I don't mean this in like some sort of thirst trap feminist way. I just mean just so much better to look at the most handsome. We're all just melting.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

We're all at sad. You know what I mean?

[Valerie]

Yeah. I mean, I feel like people are maybe getting more beautiful.

[Pete Holmes]

For sure. Have you seen a photo from like 1901?

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Everyone's got small town fish.

[Valerie]

Totally. And then like I, I mean I think those people are. Are gorgeous and there's beautiful people from like the 60s or whatever. But like. Yeah, like Jacob Elodie.

[Pete Holmes]

60s had a real. A lot of boners in the 60s.

[Valerie]

There were a lot of boners in the 60 s, but like.

[Pete Holmes]

And then 80s became very. Rob. Rob Lowe's a gorgeous person. But like the slick back hair. I'm less interested.

[Valerie]

Yeah, but it's not even just about style. Like when you like a new. Yeah, maybe people have always been the same.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, no, no, no. I think your riff stands. It's true.

[Valerie]

I just do think like now when you see like a truly gorgeous.

[Pete Holmes]

You've seen photos from the 1920s. Like these were the flappers. They'd walk in and all the heads would turn.

[Valerie]

I might rephrase this to men are getting better looking.

[Pete Holmes]

No, men weren't even interested in how they were looking for so long.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like if you looked like a penguin with a high waisted pant.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It didn't matter if you had a cigar and a bankroll and a roller skate on one foot. Like it just was a different. And now I. We're watching White Lotus, as we've mentioned many times. How hot is Goggins?

[Valerie]

I know Goggins is hot in it.

[Pete Holmes]

Goggins is hot. Do you think they thinned his hair to make him balding? No, because it's meant. You don't.

[Valerie]

I think he. I think he is.

[Pete Holmes]

It's interesting.

[Valerie]

I could be wrong, but I think he is.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm going to soak in the mystery. I think they might have helped it out a little.

[Valerie]

I can't imagine him letting.

[Pete Holmes]

There's a lot of mentions to him losing his hair in the script.

[Valerie]

Is there.

[Pete Holmes]

Are there?

[Valerie]

Are there?

[Pete Holmes]

What if that's how I was mad? She says you have a lot in common. He's bald. You're balding. He's like, I'm not balding.

[Valerie]

That's the only thing I know.

[Pete Holmes]

There's another scene where she says balding.

[Valerie]

Oh, really? Are you sure she doesn't say old twice? This doesn't matter.

[Pete Holmes]

It does matter. Okay. This matters.

[Valerie]

But I do want to look up a picture of Jacob Elordi for you because.

[Pete Holmes]

Because, you know, I don't know who that is.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Which goes back to my happiness hypothesis.

[Valerie]

It's just like, whenever there's a new handsome man that comes on the scene, you're just like. I. I feel like.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I know.

[Valerie]

It's just been like.

[Pete Holmes]

I think the guy who played Superman was just like, oh, my God, we're all gay now.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, no. We're all gay.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Who was that?

[Pete Holmes]

There's some people that are just so attractive. You're like, shut. Shut it.

[Valerie]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

Shut it. You're telling me. I'd start slow. It'd be a lot of. Just a little.

[Valerie]

This is. Okay. This is great. This is him with Oscar Isaac, who you know is, like, the top of my list.

[Pete Holmes]

He's a babe.

[Valerie]

And just look at what he does to poor Oscar Isaac.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. Who is it? He looks like Oasis. Oscar Isaac does look like his manager in this picture. Jacob Elodi. I need a picture. He's not.

[Valerie]

Yeah, there's lots of. You can swipe.

[Pete Holmes]

You can swipe. Swiping. What is this your photo album?

[Valerie]

Yes. So he. He played Frankenstein.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. I like him. All right.

[Valerie]

I mean, I'm just.

[Pete Holmes]

Just for me, I.

[Valerie]

Sure. But. But. But also, I did just see him in Wuthering Heights, and that movie is so hot.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I believe it.

[Valerie]

That I. Maybe it might be.

[Pete Holmes]

Of course.

[Valerie]

But also, he's gorgeous. Everybody's flipping out about him. It's not just. It's like.

[Pete Holmes]

No objective. Well, that does go into my. It's not just that. I don't know what's going on. Something clicked. You know how old people are always like, if it's not fun, don't do it.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Are they.

[Pete Holmes]

No.

[Valerie]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

This.

[Valerie]

That's. I know. I don't think that's what they say.

[Pete Holmes]

Hold on. You know how, like, happy old people tend to, like, realize later in life that you were tormenting yourself?

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And they're just like, what's the big deal?

[Valerie]

Like. Yeah. Or people are ideally.

[Pete Holmes]

That's how we get when we're often not.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

No one either.

[Valerie]

Don't take it so seriously.

[Pete Holmes]

At the Ram Dass retreat, there was an old woman who used to go, if it's not fun, don't do it. If you have to do it, make it fun. Like, that was her.

[Valerie]

Oh, that's cute.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't remember that? Yeah, that was the Goggins baldness of the Ram Dass retreat. You only remember it happening once. I'll tell you who does remember the many mentions to his baldness. Walter Goggins.

[Valerie]

I know, but if they let him. If they. If he let them thin his hair. There's no way. There's no way.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes, there is.

[Valerie]

There's no way.

[Pete Holmes]

People be doing. Gosling did that in a movie. They tr. It must freak dudes out.

[Valerie]

It's different for Gosling because he's younger and he, like, knows, like, Goggins is the age where he would have to be like, I don't know if it's gonna grow back.

[Pete Holmes]

I think about this constantly. Like, if they. If you shave your head, you don't know if you. This is the last batch. Is this the last harvest? I know when you shave it off and the head's like, oh, he doesn't want it.

[Valerie]

I mean, I didn't. I don't care. Like, I obviously could be in love with the bald person, but, like a BP boy, I'm attracted to your gorgeous head of hair. Well, that's very sweet, but also, like, I understand. I know a very. I know a lot of attractive bald men. It's just like. It's something I'm attracted to.

[Pete Holmes]

I think you're doing what I did with the.

[Valerie]

Yeah. I just feel.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't. We all know. I think bald men know that they're babes.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Statham Willis.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I think of others. I had Emma Stone in Burgundus in Burg. I cannot remember the name of that.

[Valerie]

Berganis.

[Pete Holmes]

Berganis Burgess.

[Valerie]

I wish I could remember right now.

[Pete Holmes]

She's got a great little tangerine head.

[Valerie]

I'm sure she's just a perfectly formed person.

[Pete Holmes]

She's our Meryl Streep. I just realized. I watched that movie and I was like, she's our Meryl Streep.

[Valerie]

She is our Meryl Stream.

[Pete Holmes]

She's our Meryl Streep. We didn't know. We saw Easy A and we were all like, that's cute. This person lucked into the perfect role for them because that's just who they are. And then she's in Beninja and she's like, actually, no, but give me Plemons.

[Valerie]

But a million things in between.

[Pete Holmes]

Clemons. No, I know. Poor things. Everything a mil like, no, no, no, please don't. I don't like saying don't get it twisted, but I have to say don't get it twisted.

[Valerie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I've been loving Emma Stone. Everybody does. But when I was watching that movie, I was like, she's our Meryl Streep.

[Valerie]

She's so our Meryl Streep.

[Pete Holmes]

And Gosling is our Jack Nicholson.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Or maybe Leo is our Jack Nicholson.

[Valerie]

Yeah. And Gosling is maybe our Robert Redford boner. Yeah. Robert Redford was good looking in the time when men weren't that good looking. But Jack Nicholson is a good example of. It's like, it's like men had. Were just need to be interesting looking, not necessarily traditionally handsome.

[Pete Holmes]

I agree. Which is why I'm surprised that I'm into that new Superman fella because he really looks like a girl scout cookie got dipped in milk and then it came out and turned it. You know, just picture Superman. Yeah.

[Valerie]

I would say new Superman fella.

[Pete Holmes]

You might think he's boring. Now I'm getting defensive.

[Valerie]

It's okay. I mean, you didn't really love my Jacob Elordi.

[Pete Holmes]

I liked him. Okay. There's just.

[Valerie]

You do love like, do like clean All American Man.

[Pete Holmes]

Because I want his approval. I want him to throw me a baseball and I want him to go, oh my God.

[Valerie]

I mean he is, he's, he's gorgeous.

[Pete Holmes]

Do shirtless.

[Valerie]

Okay. But look at that picture with the dimples.

[Pete Holmes]

That's a babe.

[Valerie]

I, I agree. I like.

[Pete Holmes]

And his eye. I'm not. His eyes are wide set enough to make him interesting.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

He's not. They're so good looking that it's boring.

[Valerie]

Yeah. But you know why I like it because?

[Pete Holmes]

Why?

[Valerie]

I'm a lip girl.

[Pete Holmes]

He's got baby lipish baby lips.

[Valerie]

Okay. Shirtless new Superman, shirtless.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, let the algo no. That's a funny. I feel like if you. If I needed a million dollars, I think to get something going in the zeitgeist, I think let the algo now.

[Valerie]

Let the algo know that.

[Pete Holmes]

I think I could get that started. I, I mean mugs I could get on the news. Let the algo know. It just means this is, this is the genesis of it.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Someone's gonna look this up. When did Let the Algo no start? It's right here. It's February 27th at 1:18 Pacific PM. Let the algo know it's. It's gonna be the new Boom goes the dynamite.

[Valerie]

Although. Can I see Him Henry Cavill. The other Henry Cavill is better shirtless.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, I. I would agree.

[Valerie]

We're being such bitches right now. So that's the new guy?

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, no. That's. That's like a leaked scandal photo. That's like, can you believe this is him? You need him in the movie.

[Valerie]

Okay, well, I. I can't, but I did find.

[Pete Holmes]

You just found, like, this.

[Valerie]

The other one?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Henry Cavill. Looks like. That's just too buff for me. I know, guys, sorry. This isn't interesting.

[Valerie]

Let me tell you, I feel like it is.

[Pete Holmes]

I, you know, don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of this podcast and I let the algo know, which means search it. Not in a private browser. Search it. Let Instagram see that. You want to see new Superman shirtless? Let the algo now.

[Valerie]

Let the algo.

[Pete Holmes]

Shameless.

[Valerie]

You know what?

[Pete Holmes]

Let it know.

[Valerie]

I was just gonna say, like, I think I've been more into men lately. Like, and there's some.

[Pete Holmes]

Should have done a spit take.

[Valerie]

There's something that's happening where you're coming into your body.

[Pete Holmes]

Maybe you're becoming a woman. Sorry, that sounds like that's not true. Heteronormative. I just. I just meant, like, you're coming to that age where you're awaken.

[Valerie]

Know. I don't know if it's that. I don't know what it is, but I will say I was a lot more queer in my 20s than I am in my 30s.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Valerie]

Where I just, like, I. I don't know. And. Because what made me think of it is that you were like, that's too much muscle for me. And I'm like, yeah. I used to, like, look at muscles and be like, I don't need that. I don't want, you know, but there's something that's going on where, like, I'm becoming, like, even more feminine in this, like, old school way and like, like, craving, like, a burly.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, no, I understand.

[Valerie]

You know, that's why Wuthering Heights was so hot, because he is, like, a brute. You're a brute.

[Pete Holmes]

You're a brute.

[Valerie]

Don't come in my window. You're a brute. There's like a really hot scene where he's saying to this girl who wants to have sex with him, like, he's like, I will be cruel to you. I will torture you. Shall I continue? And she's like, yes, like. Or shall I stop? And she's like, no. And then he's like, taking her Clothes off. And he's like, I'll only be thinking of who so and so forever and just be with you to torture her. Shall I continue? Oh, it's so hot.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Valerie]

I love it.

[Pete Holmes]

I get it. It's a tricky area because men are idiots.

[Valerie]

Yeah, they are.

[Pete Holmes]

And when you start saying things like. I'm just naming it. No, it's a little disclaimer.

[Valerie]

Yeah. But it's just like, we're too.

[Pete Holmes]

That is true. But there. There's a prerequisite of nuance, subtlety and intelligence. A certain kind of intelligence to know that that's the play and to read, you got to be locked in and understand. I'm just saying that's because we can't just be like, they want you. That's where you get absolutely douches.

[Valerie]

I'm saying this knowing that our listeners are, like, enlightened people. But, like, yes, because I feel like there's been, like, a whole. At least for me, it's been this whole, like, circle where it's like, I hated men like that because of. It was like, being misused. And it was like, you know, the defense of a lot of, like, me too moments. And, like, you know, it's like, the girls like it. They want. But actually, in that scene, he's asking for consent.

[Pete Holmes]

He sure is.

[Valerie]

And it's sexy.

[Pete Holmes]

Very sexy.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. When people were like, what? I'm supposed to ask if I can kiss you? I'm like, I don't know if you understand what erotic tension is and how there's a million ways.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

To be sexy about things like that, you think you have to be like, Urkel, like, can I touch that? It's like, you don't know. You can.

[Valerie]

Can I touch that?

[Pete Holmes]

It's sexy. Talking about what you want, asking what they want. That's hot as shit. Absolutely. This episode is brought to us by our friends at Magic Mind. You know, I'm constantly drinking and obsessed and talking about Magic Mind. It's like Gatorade is for athletes. Magic Mind is creator aid for creators. It has 12 functional ingredients. Things like Matcha for a little bit of caffeine, nootropics for focus, and adaptogens to help fight off stress. So it gets you right in that sweet spot. Stimulated, but also calm. Nootropics help you focus. Don't think wired, think dialed in. On average, people say they get about 30% more done. It even fights off procrastination, brain fog, fatigue, and some ADD type stuff. Take it from me, that is true. And after a few days in a row. It's even easier to slip into that flow state when you drink it. That flow state that we all chase. Here's the best part. There's a money back guarantee, so if it doesn't work for you, you get a free refund. They also have magic mind free, which is caffeine free. Which if I'm being honest, I thought that was dumb and now I'm obsessed. Right around 2, 3 o' clock when I want more brain power but not the caffeine that disrupts my sleep, I take a magic mind free. They also make magic mind Max, which has more caffeine than the usual, which I'm being honest, that's sometimes what I need. And I take one of those. They have something for everybody. They even have magic mind for your sleep, go to magicmind.com weird and use the promo code weird at checkout. That's magicmind.com for 20% off your first order, just use promo code weird at checkout. This episode is brought to us by our friends at Factor. Cold days, big goals. No time to cook. Factor makes eating healthy easy with fully prepared meals, never frozen. Designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs so you can eat well without the planning or the cooking. Lately I've been loving their vegan meals. It's always important to me, especially this time of year, to eat, eat clean but not sacrifice flavor. And these are legit. Tons of colorful veggies, whole food ingredients, healthy fats, no refined sugars, no artificial sweeteners, no refined seed oils. It's finding that plant based meal that actually tastes great and fills you up. Fitting into my busy February routine. They have lots of different ones. Vegan veggie plus high protein calorie, smart Mediterranean GLP1 support ready to eat salad. And they just launched their new Muscle Pro collection to support strength and recovery. And the best part I already mentioned, they're always fresh, never frozen. So it's easy. Ready in about two minutes. No prep, no stress. Val and I love these. We use it and you should too. Head to FactorMeals.com weirdo50off and use code weirdo50OFF to get 50% off and free breakfast for a year. Free breakfast. Eat like a pro this month with Factor New subscribers only. Varies by plan. One free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active. This episode is brought to us by our friends at Warby Parker. I am obsessed with Warby Parker because recently I've started needing to wear eyeglasses to read and so many times you're either wearing a cheap pair that you got from the drugstore that look awful and break easily, or you're losing your mind at how expensive and complicated buying eyeglasses is. That's where Warby Parker comes in. Their virtual try on is a total game changer. You literally just point your phone at your face and boom. You can see tons of frames on you in real time. And it actually works. I've tried other virtual try ons. They feel janky, they're buggy. But with Warabee Parker, you can genuinely tell how the frames are going to look and fit, which is the whole thing. I got the Brimmer style in black walnut for my readers and I also picked up some of their sunglasses. They are premium, lightweight and stylish. Like you didn't panic. Buy them at a Walgreens on the way to brunch. They look awesome and VAL thinks they look very handsome, so that's a win. Their prescription glasses start at 95 bucks, so you don't have to choose between outdated styles or spending half your paycheck. And they've got everything. Contacts, online, eye exams, glasses, sunglasses. Plus over 300 retail stores across the US which is nice if you ever just want to go in person. Warby Parker gives you quality and better looking prescription eyewear at a fraction of the going price. So our listeners weirdos get 15% off plus free shipping when you buy two or more pairs of prescription glasses at warbyparker.com weirdo that's 15% off when you buy two pairs of glasses at w a r b y parker.com weirdo after you purchase, tell them we sent you. Please support our show and tell them that that's how you heard about them. Get into it. I also was gonna say, and this does go back to my belabored point about how I'm feeling so happy. I think you're feeling really happy. I don't mean to lead you in that direction, but I think you're willing. No, no, no. I didn't know if that was a precious Leela heirloom. It is. Okay. Sorry. She just put her drink on something Leela made. I'm just kidding. I think you're. It's just. By the way, this is the Val birthday episode. It's her birthday tomorrow.

[Valerie]

That's right. I can't believe it took us this long to mention it.

[Pete Holmes]

We'll mention it in the intro, but I dismiss. But yeah, no, it's true. We should have mentioned it earlier. But like, I think I. I'm Gonna say this with full confidence. I'd be shocked if you disagreed. You're just blossoming. You're in your prime. I'm always joking. You're on the golden road. I yell golden road all the time. As I see the confluence of this show you're writing and developing with produced real meetings. And then it's also like, oh, maybe you'll act in this. And then like, oh, but you're gonna act in your own short film that is wheels up. Like, you're going. And the script and the idea is great. And I'm just like, golden road. Like, I'm just recognizing, you know, it's not about me. I'm just saying, like, having been around, I'm like, I see a pattern.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Of this is what it looks like when somebody starts filling out the suit and blossoming and. And your roots are so strong, they're breaking the pot, and you just. You're invelid. Oh, we thought it was a little flower. It's like, it's this giant sunflower the size of the sun. It's amazing.

[Valerie]

Thanks, boo.

[Pete Holmes]

Now, here's where I'm getting a little out of my depth is, I think, your fulfillment. Consider, for example, like, I'm so happy your friend Jill was like, I'm sorry I'm always stealing Val from you. And I'm like, oh, that's fine. Why is it fine? She's absolutely right. That is exactly how to trigger me, is to make me feel like I don't have you and somebody else always has you. Because, first of all, we're getting a lot of time together, but I'm also feeling very steady and fulfilled, and you're feeling very similar. Steady and fulfilled.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You're also feeling like, if I marry, like, I. We're loving each other really well.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And in that space. And we don't do that stuff a lot sexually. But you're more open to the idea of, you be a lady, I'll be a man, which is from Anchorman. But, like, I think it speaks to. Do you know what I mean? You're more receptive if it's just like, yeah, you're resourced, and then you're. You're so fulfilled that.

[Valerie]

Help me know how to say yes to make it.

[Pete Holmes]

Because I don't want to make it sound like if you're not into that, that you're not resourced, but I just think.

[Valerie]

Oh, but for me, personally, I think that is true. Well, I think being more fulfilled, like, comes with also more confidence. And then. Then there is more room. See, that's what I think is like. Like I wouldn't have the type of sex that we have with someone who I didn't. Wasn't a hundred percent sure that they respected me and.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, that does sound like we're doing some freaky.

[Valerie]

We're not doing freaky. But I. Like, but I. But in.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm just letting you know how every man heard what you just said. I'm just giving you the man subtitles. Okay, wow.

[Valerie]

Well.

[Pete Holmes]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Valerie]

Well, I'm trying to. Joey from Blossom.

[Pete Holmes]

Joey Lawrence drops his martini.

[Valerie]

I'm just trying to agree with what you're saying, which is like more of the more traditional.

[Pete Holmes]

I say this about our sex. Our sex is more male, female, classic, male, classic, traditional. Traditional is better than classic.

[Valerie]

Is it?

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know. I'm really. I'm not even trying to be funny. I'm trying to be respectful to the idea of all of these things are flowing and I'm not. I'm not trying to save my ass. I'm trying to be respectful to people listening. More traditional. I'm aggressive. I'm big. I'm. Me, man, me strong. You, lady, you.

[Valerie]

Yeah, yes, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

I hate everything.

[Valerie]

Okay, yeah, but no.

[Pete Holmes]

Me, man, me strong.

[Valerie]

Well, first of all, let me put that to one side for a second and let it cool down.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that side a chasm that we can drop that in? I didn't know how to say what I.

[Valerie]

No, no, no. But I do think there is something to. We're both feeling very fulfilled.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Valerie]

And in. In our lives, like, you know, in our projects that are separate or individual.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Valerie]

So then we do bring all of that good life force energy into our relationship, which is going to affect every aspect of our relationship, but especially, like, vital life force energy is sort of the same energy as sexual energy. So that's gonna help in that way.

[Pete Holmes]

I agree.

[Valerie]

And then what I'm saying about the respect is. Let me take it off of us for a second. It's like, you know, this. I love this. This essay that Nora Ephron wrote in the 70s for. She used to write for. I feel like it was like a women's magazine, but I can't remember. And I also can't remember the name of her book, which is a collection of those.

[Pete Holmes]

Can I interrupt with a slam poem? They thought I was into Scientology. Elrond. I'm more into Efron. As in Nora. Peace. I don't know why I made it sound so kind of.

[Valerie]

I hope that was Worth it for you. So anyway,

[Pete Holmes]

they thought I was a scientologist. Elrond, you got it.

[Valerie]

Yeah, I got.

[Pete Holmes]

As in Nora. And then I blow out a candle, but no one claps. It's like a bomb, a slam poet bombing.

[Valerie]

I know. That is something that I. That they do in. In hip hop. This is what everybody knows, I think already where it's like, like, let's say befron is a word.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's say bethron. Bethron.

[Valerie]

Just so that I don't have to think of a rhyme for Efron.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Valerie]

But it's like something, something, something, befron. Something, something, something, Efron. Nora. Like.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it's the hashtag punchline.

[Valerie]

Yeah, yeah, okay. Anyway, so I was befriending.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh my God.

[Valerie]

Nora Ephron has this essay that is like talking about basically the dissonance of how it's like the second wave feminists, feminist movement. And she wants a man who is a feminist and like really treats her as an equal and as a partner and as an intellectual, emotional, you know,

[Pete Holmes]

I want you to treat me as an equal as long as you think of yourself as a sexy piece of meat.

[Valerie]

Yeah. No, but then it's like. But then when we get to the bedroom, I want you to be.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

Like, like an old school kind of man. And. And I understand that that's problematic and not perfect, but guess what? Welcome to sexuality.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, well, sexuality is one of the places where even like sometimes your own ideologies might not be represented. Is. Am I being correct?

[Valerie]

Yeah. And I guess I'm just interested. This isn't like a well formed thing and it is a sticky issue, but I guess that's why it's interesting is like I'm so interested in the fact that our shadow selves are. First of all, we're in a culture where we don't integrate our shadows. We're like meant to hide them away and feel ashamed. And our shadows do have a role in every aspect of our lives, including sexuality.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, of course.

[Valerie]

And then we really feel ashamed and we're really supposed.

[Pete Holmes]

And.

[Valerie]

And sort of this way of being like a very, you know, woke person can sometimes feel like just another way that we are making people feel ashamed of their sexuality.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right. And it can. It has the risk of it or for me.

[Valerie]

And I'm not talking about like, men should get to be men and we. They shouldn't feel ashamed of that. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying, like, yeah, sometimes we want our Kinks are tricky things that come from even tricky sources. Like why.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

But, like, I don't think us feeling ashamed of it is the answer to anything.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

It's more about, like, integrating every part. So, like, I mean, that was the thing. I think people were, I think, Wuthering Heights, the book. I didn't read it. But, like, some people were like, this is an abusive relationship. This is like a toxic abusive relationship. We shouldn't be making this movie. You know, and they did a great job. I thought in the movie of, like, that he really loves her and really respects her. But, like, I could see how people watch that, and they're up. It's upsetting to them. And, like, I had to sit there knowing that and also being, like, pretty turned on.

[Pete Holmes]

I. You know, I always go to my dreams. It's like, just look at your dreams.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Your dreams are a movie made just for you. And they're often weird.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Strange, dark, and it's like, exact sometimes. Exactly what you and I. I'm not alluding to any. I'm not even going to follow that.

[Valerie]

No, I think. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm just saying we all have dreams that might be strange. They might be whatever. Yeah.

[Valerie]

And that's a really good comparison because we don't take our dreams personally. Really.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's what's great about them. Only one showing. Only one person only.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Your dreams got broadcast every morning. We'd be like, listen, I. Yeah, but can.

[Valerie]

Yeah, we can move on.

[Pete Holmes]

No way. Okay. I. I was curious. I didn't want to interrupt.

[Valerie]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

But. So I'm seeing you in your birthday. In your.

[Valerie]

Oh, yes. Thanks for saying all of that.

[Pete Holmes]

Rising moon it is.

[Valerie]

I am turning 37, which I do feel grateful that this seems to be like a very fruitful year of a lot of, like, growth and. And, you know, new, new adventures. Because 37 does seem kind of like a depressing year.

[Pete Holmes]

I agree. Because I'm about to turn 47, and they all just feel like. Just call it 50. You know what I mean?

[Valerie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But 37 is not. Not 40. And 40 is great. All of these things are great. One thing that I've noticed doing my podcast, talking to a lot of people is that, like, the 30s do really seem for so many to be. When you're planting the seeds.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And the forties, if. If this is the model you're on when you did all that work in your 30s, your 40s is when the harvest happens. And you sort of collect on that. I. I certainly feel that way. I've talked to a lot of people that feel that way and the, the obviously there's other ways to do it, but like that's what I'm excited for you. You're doing all of this hustling that I frankly don't really want to do and I don't really have to do, which is really nice. Yeah, I do hustle, but like you're, you're really going and I really admire that. I think it's great. And then.

[Valerie]

Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

That'll come to roost in your 40s. I wanted to go back to being the thing I was saying about if it's not fun, don't do it kind of thing.

[Valerie]

Yeah, the thing that all old people say.

[Pete Holmes]

All old people are always saying that as if old people are happy. I just, I think there's some, something clicked for me. Obviously I'm always, you know, interested in self growth and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But like, I don't know quite to put this, I just, I, I found a way where I'm just like, I'm okay with how I am. Like, I, I told you specifically that like you've really taught me how to love myself. Like, you've installed, We've been together for 13 years and you've finally, I feel it installed in me, this program of like I'm being, we always use these examples but like weird, loud, too much or whatever it might be.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm sort of like, no, I, I, I'm okay with me. It doesn't even have to be like, I love me. I'm just sort of like, it's like I'm digesting my food, my heart is beating and my personality is emerging.

[Valerie]

It's running. Yeah, it's running.

[Pete Holmes]

It's an autonomic system. I didn't choose. Like that doesn't mean there isn't room for improvement or choice or agency. All that stuff is there? But I've just eased up on myself. There's a lot of talking about easing up on yourself, but I really feel like a corner has been turned. And then like, even when I catch myself, you know, promoting this special, my inbox right now is just not a safe neighborhood. There's just too many emails of people trying to schedule me for things, which. Great, that's nice. But I hate scheduling more than anything. And I've just become a little bit more appropriate. I'm like, does it need to be scheduled today? Does it matter if the like the special debuts? Is there some sort of bonus? I'm not aware of that. The special pops on the day it releases March 24th. I'm just saying, like, what. Like just a moment of, like. I don't know if that's true.

[Valerie]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And in a good way, where I still care about others. I'm just sort of like. I just notice. I'm not really worrying about. I don't even know how I got here. But, like, I'm like, I'm not worried about doing stuff I don't have to, and I'm not quite articulating it, but it's been really sweet.

[Valerie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said you've been in your, like. Did you say your fuck it era or something?

[Pete Holmes]

There's been a good amount. And without even ever thinking this of, like, we're gonna die someday and that. That's not what I think.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But I'm acting as a guy who realized that life is beautiful. Life is precious. Life is here and now. It's free, fresh, it's spacious, it's vibrant, it's alive. All the feelings are here. The miracle is here. The mystery is here. This is the. This is it. It's. It's flowing right now. And I just feel like I've been lifted out of some of that mire of just like. But I gotta.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Do you have to. Right now, this moment?

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I think I'm like, oh, I don't.

[Valerie]

This is, like, related to what you were saying about your 30s being the hustling and then your 40s being the harvest. It's like, there is a little, like, more hunger. Like, if I get a work email, I'm like, they're gonna lose interest in me. I gotta go. Like, I have to show them I'm a good work. You know, there's just a little more proving myself. And you should be able to be like, I'm not gonna answer that right now. That doesn't need to be, you know, like, you're getting a lot more emails.

[Pete Holmes]

We are saying the same thing. Yeah.

[Valerie]

And it is. It's the time to. To sort of be able to, like, prioritize that. But it's. And I think it's really healthy. I said that to you, and you were like, it feels healthy. And I see. Talking about my friend Jill, she's also in her 40s, and she's doing that too. And seeing, like, a woman specifically in, like, pleasing, you know, patterns be like, I just text people now like, I'm not going to make it out. Do you ever find yourself scrolling through headlines, especially health headlines, and just thinking, that can't be true. Well, I certainly do. 2025 brought us some ridiculous far fetched health claims and some especially terrifying changes in public health. What's in store for us in 2026? I'm Chelsea Clinton and we're back with season two of my podcast, that Can't Be True. Follow along and catch up on season one. Wherever you get your podcast, podcasts,

[Pete Holmes]

there's been a lot more of that. Yeah, I can't do that.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Or, or like we talked about this, like giving my number out and sometimes I'm really gregarious and want to connect and I end up giving my number out and now I've just been a little bit more like if you text me, I'm, I'm not really going to reply. I, I'm not really available like that.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I, I has nothing to do with you. I'm just being up front.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like just that weirdo that's your 40s. It's like, I like, I, I'm weird like this.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm not available like that. I am socially very inconsistent and I like.

[Valerie]

And it's interesting though too because you have, it's interesting that you say that I've helped you love yourself in that way because it's like you're, you already had the most self love of anyone I ever knew. But it was more in the realm of like your, what you offer the world. Like your comedy, your work, your, your place in, in succeeding. Like you felt like you deserved success, you felt like you were good and you like, you know, went out there and got it. You don't have a lot of like fraud mentality. I know you sometimes, you know.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, sure.

[Valerie]

But for the most part you're like, you love your own stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

And I have always had a hard time loving myself that way and I feel like you've helped me love myself that way. And, and then maybe you, yeah, maybe you did have a harder time loving yourself in the like these weird quirks. Which, yeah, I do like distinctly love about you. Like, I'm not trying to. I like that you're weird.

[Pete Holmes]

I also was quoting. Thank you, baby. I was, I was also chatting Chanchilar Chodi Chacheater. Well, John Wheeler, who is this teacher I've been obsessed with. Really obsessed. And his. Anything on YouTube, John Wheeler non duality I recommend very, very highly because he's incredibly clear and direct pointing. And when people ask him questions, maybe I've gone over this but like when people ask him questions like, well, what about Deep sleep, or what about this? Or what about ethics, or what about veganism or whatever it is. He always just goes like, the mind will never be satisfied. It will always think of another question, but that which the question emerged in and that which the question receded into, it was there before the question. It's there when the question's answered. There will always be another. Your mind will never understand this. Please just see that you are present and aware right now, Please. Over and over, he just goes, please just see your present and awareness and see that when you go into that presence, Awareness, it's what you are. And all of your problems stem from having the wrong idea about what you are.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And this isn't just a concept. It's something that he encourages you to explore. So does Rupert, obviously. But there's something about mixing my Rupert with my John is just kind of. I don't know. Whenever I'm like, I don't know if I have it. John Wheeler is just so good at being like that with which you are aware of, I don't know if I have it. Is it. So he's just. And I've said this a million times on this podcast, he's just constantly going, what are you talking about? It's it. And now go into it and experience your. Your true self. And I think a lot of that. I don't want to call it work, but a lot of that pointing has blossomed into this sort of like, you know, how Christ talks about the peace that passeth understanding, or like, he's always talking about the most. These precious things, like, it's better than the lost coin, or it's the returning sun, or it's the lost sheep. It's the. It's the most precious thing in the world. Like, I've started to really embody and experience that. Like, it's. It's here. It's right here. Like, it's. We're currently speaking from and existing within that joyful unfolding.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then when you really start to push that into your marrow, I. I get a little less concerned with my inbox. I get a little less concerned that Netflix didn't buy my special or whatever the disappointment is. And then you're just kind of like, but it's here, but it's here. But it's not just an intellectual thing. It's like an experiential. Yeah, I am that spacious, fresh aliveness within which disappointments come and go, but, like, they emerge within that spacious, fresh aliveness and they recede back into that Spacious, fresh aliveness. So why not just surrender? And I've never really had an appreciation for that. But, like, stop. Your mind will never say, I got it right. It's not for the mind. So just recognize you are that you are that you are that.

[Valerie]

And he.

[Pete Holmes]

Sorry to go on and on, but I think that has a lot to do with what's going on.

[Valerie]

That's great.

[Pete Holmes]

It doesn't really matter, but I think that's part of the formula is I'm just kind of going like, yeah, I wake up and I'm tired. And I'm like, here is the experience of tired in this peaceful, happy, fulfilled, content, spacious, fresh aliveness. And I'm like, that's who you really are. He has this interesting point where he's like, the. I thought the idea, the story you tell that you're a separate but other is like. It's. I picture it like, you know, the center of a washing machine. Like, that thought is that. That part that juts up and the rest of the thoughts swirl around that. So he's always like, go to the source. He goes, you think you're this separate thing. Show that to me. Like, bring it forward. Like, where is that? You're like, I don't have it. Who is that? I. And then when you look to your experience of what you are, all you find is this spacious, peaceful awareness. And then in that emerges the idea. I am Pete. Or I remember this. And I don't know, it's all emerging in it. You're the sky, not the clouds. All that classic stuff. But he's so fierce with it that I think it's dumb to say it's gone to the next level. It's dumb to say that the understanding is deepening because you can't become more what you always were. But that's. That's. That's what it's been feeling like.

[Valerie]

Yeah. And it is interesting like that. It's always so much simpler.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, that's his other point.

[Valerie]

It's so simple, actually. And you've actually are doing less. Like, the idea is to do less. This is similar.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right. Doing less. Thank you for saying that.

[Valerie]

This is similar. This is sort of like when I take what you said and run it through my specific system. This is how it translates to be, you know, this is just the Val version of this, I guess. But, you know, our friend Adriana has a great. She. She sort of has. Has said this in many different ways, but that, like, we take the awareness that we are, you know, pure awareness or universal consciousness or, or, you know, just this loving awareness. And then we bring that back into our human experience and look at all of our parts through that lens so that all of these parts can be integrated. So it's not just about staying up in, in just loving. I'm just loving awareness. It's like taking it back into the human experience and seeing it. And this is what, you know, came to mind when you said like, so I am caring less about my emails and I like, you're seeing these like, like practical ways that you, You've brought it back down into your, into your human experience and, and that's, you know, that'll always just be more interesting to me because it's, it's keeping it in that. And it is aligned with like the. My. It's not for the mind it. To understand. We're not just staying in our. This isn't a way to just stay in our heads.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

Like, we could chew on this bone forever.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

And like.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's, that's exactly.

[Valerie]

People, I think, often find the comfort in that, that now that they, they don't have to be in their bodies, they don't have to be attached to their human lives, they can just ruminate in their brains forever. And then, you know, then they are bypassing their whole experience. But that's why like, the pulling it back down is where the juice is. And, and it makes me think of the, you know, of the hero's journey too, where it's like, even if I see you, how you've done this, it's like you collected your teachers, you've learned from them, you've like slayed dragons of healing. And then you, you take the tools and you bring it back in the home is your own body like your own human life. You're bringing all of the knowledge back home with.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah. You bring it back to the village. Yeah, yeah, precisely. Well, what Rupert would say is that like this understanding doesn't detach you from the world. He goes, it upgrades the world. So everywhere you look is. It is a manifestation of it, is a modulation of it, is an appearance of it. So he's like, we're not making the world meaningless. And John Wheeler says the same thing. He's like, after I had this, whatever you want to call it, he doesn't say enlightenment or realization. He's just like, after this became clear to me, I have the same job, I have the same friends.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I have the same life.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's. But you do, you do recognize that you're taking it all a little bit more lightly.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I think that's been.

[Valerie]

I think that's so important.

[Pete Holmes]

And because that's what you are, is.

[Valerie]

You're.

[Pete Holmes]

You're this accommodating.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And vulnerable place.

[Valerie]

I do think through those eyes, you can look at your. This is why people, like, find healing. And like, ketamine, I. I think, like ketamine, I can't. I haven't done it. But from what I've seen with my

[Pete Holmes]

friends, I'd say you're on the right path.

[Valerie]

Like, regulates your body so much and helps you get into this. This sort of awareness where you're not taking anything too seriously. And that's why it's a really helpful place to then go and look at your shadow. Sex stuff or your whatever, your anger, your. These parts that are so hard for you.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's ayahuasca, too, is. Is. It takes you to the bliss, and then you refuel at the bliss, and then you go into the. The darkness of your family trauma. And then when it's overwhelming, it'll. I haven't done ayahuasca, but they say it takes you back to your bliss to refuel. Like, don't, Don't. Don't despair. Okay. We need more time here. That's why they talk about, like, mother ayahuasca being this, like, shepherd and who's helping you and. And not giving you too much. Okay, that's enough of that. Let's go over here.

[Valerie]

Yeah, okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's go back. But it's not to just trip out and be love and light. But isn't that funny? I'm saying the more this resonates, the more I have this understanding, the more my life is beautiful. Like, I'm hanging out with my family, I'm doing shows, I'm cruising around. I'm in line at airport security. And I don't know. It's one of the frustrating things I have to imagine about spirituality for, like, spiritual teachers is you're kind of saying the same thing the whole time.

[Valerie]

Yeah, of course. And then it is simple.

[Pete Holmes]

It's very simple. But I really needed someone to be like. You'll always be able to think of another question.

[Valerie]

Yes, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

And he just goes, what's present right now? What's present right now?

[Valerie]

Right. Well, going back to the ayahuasca thing, too, of, like, I've never heard that. But that's. That's so fascinating. And it makes sense, like, to. To oscillate between the despair and the Bliss. Our systems, like, our nervous systems in our bodies do that naturally. Like, that's why everybody's like, grief comes in waves. Like, you never know when it's. And it's like, yeah, that's wisdom. Your body knows you'll die if you stay right in. In this. Grief, like, so gives you little breaks, and then it comes back and, you know, and so many of us, like, dissociated and stored trauma, and our. Our bodies, like, stored the trauma. Like, with wisdom of being. Like, your system can't handle you feeling this right now. So I will wait until you're a resourced adult, and then it's going to come out in, like, panic attacks, and then you're gonna have to go to therapy. Like, it's like, obviously that's more conscious, but, like. Yeah. So there's. There's wisdom in that. And it's just that our brains take the first panic attack, turns it into, like, this whole other thing. Then it's freaks out that it's gonna have another panic attack. And then we get on medication. Then we. And I'm not against medication, but, like, you know, it's like it just decodes what the body's doing inaccurately. So I'm just saying it's. It's goes back to exactly what you said. Like, it's. The mind won't understand. It's not for the mind. The mind is here to be a servant, to decode the body's, you know,

[Pete Holmes]

work, and it can't see it. The mind sees things. It knows things.

[Valerie]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And it can't see the ineffable.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Both Rupert and John use the idea of, like, can you see your own eyes? It's like you can't see your own eyes. I know. You just cried. It's hilarious, by the way, to lighten this up, sometimes I like saying what I think are profound things to Leela.

[Valerie]

Oh, my God, yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And I was rocking her, and she was having a hard time falling asleep. And sometimes it works, like, because even if you don't conceptually understand what I'm saying, it's still a calm and.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Nice thing to say.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I was like, you know, I always say, you're like the empty space of this room. Look at how spacious you are. Look at how quiet you are. Good bedtime stuff, by the way, works for me as well. You're like this. Like, you have these thoughts, you have this idea of yourself, but look at what you really are. Great for falling asleep. I know it's weird to take the Mystery of the universe. And be like, it's like a Tylenol pm, but it's wonderful. In the middle of the night, you're just like, okay, there it is. It's all right. But not just ignore or wait for the thoughts to pass, because that's still putting the focus on your thoughts, Right? But put your focus on what but that emptiness and really melt away. So I'm doing it to Leela. And I was like. I was like, you are awareness. You are. What did I say? Every one of us has an awareness. And that's how you're hearing my voice right now. And she went, what if I don't have one? And I went, then how are you hearing me right now? And she went, what? She's seven, you guys.

[Valerie]

She's so smart.

[Pete Holmes]

That's fire.

[Valerie]

It was really funny.

[Pete Holmes]

It was also how she did it. She did it almost as if someone who knew she was really, like, with, like, my top tier stuff.

[Valerie]

Because there were, like. It was more of, like a series of questions, like. And I can't. It was like a Russian doll of you're. She was like, what if I can't do that? And you're like, but you are. You don't have to do anything. You are it. And she's like, what if I'm not? And you're like, yeah, then how are you hearing me? She's like, what?

[Pete Holmes]

Too good.

[Valerie]

She knows that the joke when you're. When you say, like, can you hear me? Is what.

[Pete Holmes]

She's the queen. She's the queen of hearts.

[Valerie]

It was really fun.

[Pete Holmes]

We're super excited for Val's birthday. We're going to see Nirvana the Band the Movie, finally.

[Valerie]

Nirvana the Band the Show, the movie.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that what it's called? I don't know.

[Valerie]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

I thought it was just called Nirvana the Band the Movie.

[Valerie]

It probably is, but we have been. Obviously, you know, we're huge fans. If you've listened to this podcast. We're huge.

[Pete Holmes]

Can't wait to see it.

[Valerie]

And we. They played it at our little theater. You have to see it in the theater. That's essential for the experience. We've had just the worst luck where we've gotten invited, I would say twice. Three.

[Pete Holmes]

Three times.

[Valerie]

Three times. To different premieres and do like a

[Pete Holmes]

Q A and see Hang With Matt and Jay. And this is like, a big deal for us. We love them so much.

[Valerie]

And we've been out of town every single time it's come up. It's been heartbreaking. And then and then our little, our one little movie theater here played the movie. And it was, it was the only night we were in town with Leela. Like, we were out of town and

[Pete Holmes]

I was leaving the next day.

[Valerie]

We were both leaving the next day. You had been out of town and then we were both leaving the next day.

[Pete Holmes]

Couldn't do it.

[Valerie]

And we're like, we can't be gone get a babysitter this one night. And thank God our little movie theater is playing it again tonight. So it's perfect. We're gonna go to one of my favorite restaurants, Ojai Noodle House. And then we're gonna go do that and then tomorrow I just was like, I feel so proud of myself that I was like, I, I do, I do my birthday well. Like I just go like, what is your perfect day, Val? Just like make that happen. So we're gonna like go and get a little breakfast, then we're gonna go to the beach and then we're gonna have dinner with, you know, just, just ten of our closest friends and then

[Pete Holmes]

we're gonna have a two thousand dollar dinner. It's no big deal. And this isn't your birthday. That's just part of it.

[Valerie]

No, we don't have to pay. Well, we probably will, but anyway. And then we're.

[Pete Holmes]

It will not be $2,000, but yeah.

[Valerie]

And then the part that I'm proud of is that I was like, I want to dance more than anything. So I just found this spot. I rented this little like black box theater. Got, I mean it was a hundred dollars to rent. I got like ten dollar, a couple ten dollar dance lights. I made a playlist that I am so excited about. I can't stop listening to it.

[Pete Holmes]

I know I saw you in the pool dancing.

[Valerie]

Oh my God. And it's just a perfect mix of like the music that I'm loving right now and then the music that I used to dance at like clubs with, you know, when I was like 22. So it's like really like makes me feel like young and alive. And I went on a hike yesterday and listened to it and was just like dancing like on the trail. Like I can't not dance to it. So I'm just super excited. I got some glue, I got some light up wings, butterfly wings. And we're just gonna party. And it's like, I'm not, I don't want to drink because I want to be able to like everything I'm doing, I'm like, I'm not going to eat too much and I'm not going to drink because I want to dance. Like, yeah, like a marathon is the whole thing. It's like, I'm doing it like an athlete. Like, I'm taking it so seriously. And I told you yesterday, like, I mean, I don't know if there's really anything in my life other than, like, you and Lila, obviously, but that lights me up the way dancing with my friends does.

[Pete Holmes]

I just want to dance.

[Valerie]

I get. I can't explain it. Like, I know it makes me sort of, like, basic probably, but it's my favorite. It's my favorite thing.

[Pete Holmes]

You. Unbelievable. And what's the. Like, eternal. You're, like, tied into your ancestors and stuff.

[Valerie]

I mean, I do think we all should be dancing.

[Pete Holmes]

I agree.

[Valerie]

I think that it's very essential.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm gonna be right there with you.

[Valerie]

I know. Thank you. You're a good buddy.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm so grateful for you. You're the best. Everybody loves you, and happy birthday. I mean it. I'm not. I'm not even going for, like, a big flourish here. You want me to.

[Valerie]

Yeah, keep going. I'm just kidding. You've already said so many nice things to me on this podcast.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's true. And I'm sort of. It's so hot. I just feel really hot.

[Valerie]

All right, well, thank you. Happy birthday.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, no, I don't mean it like that. I wanted. Can I. We end. Usually we do this stuff at the top, but would you. What's better, being really hungry and eating or being really thirsty and drinking?

[Valerie]

Being really thirsty. And I can't believe that I'm saying that.

[Pete Holmes]

I think it's thirsty.

[Valerie]

I can't believe I'm saying that.

[Pete Holmes]

I think thirst is louder.

[Valerie]

I agree.

[Pete Holmes]

Thirst is louder.

[Valerie]

Thirst is louder. And, you know, we love to be hungry and eat, but thirst is like. And maybe it's more instant, you know, like hunger. You're, like, digesting. You gotta wait, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

But thirst is like. Like, it's like pouring it on a fire. There's, like a fire of thirst in your belly, and it goes right out.

[Valerie]

I love it.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like coffee, too. Coffee is very similar. It's like, I need coffee. And it goes right in you. Absorbed instantly. Water seems to be absorbed instantly. Food is like. We'll let you know in 45 minutes if this is doing it. Yeah. That's not to say, if you're hungry and you eat, this is the sound we all make. Ready?

[Valerie]

It's like, what about Bob?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Faye.

[Valerie]

I will say I Love being thirsty. This is really, like, kind of embarrassing to admit. I love. It's not that embarrassing, but I love being thirsty and drinking juice. Like. Or like a lemonade. Like, honestly, the most perfect thing would be. You mentioned. Yes. Last time on the podcast Nantucket Nectars and I said that they had like a sweet plum juice that I was obsessed with.

[Pete Holmes]

I think I said that to Leela in a bedtime story, but.

[Valerie]

Oh, okay. Well, podcast, bedtime story. I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

Either way, I don't know.

[Valerie]

You're always talking about n nectars. That's what I want. If I'm like thirsty, I want sweet plum juice and chug it.

[Pete Holmes]

I actually like chugging carbonated.

[Valerie]

I know you do. And I can't do it. It's too spicy on my throat.

[Pete Holmes]

But I like it.

[Valerie]

This is a thing about me that either you love or you hate. That I wish. I mean, you've probably heard me swishing my poppy on this podcast. I can't.

[Pete Holmes]

She doesn't mean me.

[Valerie]

No. Swishing my poppy. I'm swishing my poppy.

[Pete Holmes]

Swishing my poppy. L. Ron. More like Efron Nora.

[Valerie]

Keep it crispy. You made it with.

[Pete Holmes]

You made it with.

[Valerie]

Oh, yeah. Want to listen to your favorite Lemonada shows without the ads? Subscribe to Lemonada Premium. On Apple Podcasts, you'll get ad free episodes and exclusive bonus content from shows like Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis Dreyfus, Fail Better with David Duchovny, the Sarah Silverman podcast, and so many more. It's a great way to support the work we do and treat yourself to a smoother, uninterrupted listening experience. Just head to any Lemonada show feed on Apple Podcasts and hit subscribe. Make life Suck Less with fewer Ads with Lemonada Premium. Are you looking for ways to make your everyday life happier, healthier, more productive and more creative? I'm Gretchen Rubin, the number one best selling author of the Happiness Project, bringing you fresh insights and practical solutions. Solutions in the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast My co host and happiness guinea pig is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. That's me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore ideas and hacks about cultivating happiness and good habits. Check out Happier with Gretchen Rubin from Lemonada Media.