We Made It Weird #250

Summary

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You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes: "We Made It Weird #250"

Date: May 8, 2026
Host: Pete Holmes
Co-host: Val Holmes

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Episode Overview

In this milestone 250th "We Made It Weird" installment, Pete and Val offer listeners an improvisationally rich "three act" discussion. They candidly explore Val’s recent creative projects (notably directing and starring in a pole dance short), the chemistry and aftereffects of performance, the complexity of adult friendship–especially among men–and wrap with a uniquely “Weird” riff connecting AI's rise to the patterns of cult behavior (a la Nexium). Expect honest introspection, playful banter, philosophical musings, and the signature Pete-and-Val synergy that fans adore.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Three-Act Structure & Episode Vibe

Timestamps: [00:22], [01:32], [03:16]

• Pete breaks down the episode as having a "three act structure":
  • Act 1: Val recounts her experiences as writer/director/actor in recent short films.
  • Act 2: Pete gets contemplative and a bit melancholy about the nature of male friendship.
  • Act 3: Pete delivers a provocative analogy linking AI hype to cult dynamics (Nexium), urging skepticism toward technological "messiahs."
• Early on: “I love this one. Starts pretty lit up… little sad in the middle… then I get really lit up about how AI is Nexium.” – Pete [00:23]

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2. Val’s Creative Journey – Directing, Acting, Pole Dancing

Timestamps: [04:44] – [12:29], [26:04] – [31:43]

• Val shares insights gained from writing, directing, and acting in two new comedic shorts—one involving a pole dance routine to explore themes of sex-positivity and personal vulnerability.
• Reflects on the emotional and physical exhaustion post-performance, likening the comedown to "the high of a wedding" or "Beyoncé concert withdrawals."
  • “It was such a physical feat to like, lift, pull myself up onto a pole for six hours straight. But also because it felt like my wedding. It was so fun…the comedown was real.” – Val [26:56]
• Discusses the intense vulnerability of performing and how it’s given her new empathy for actors, including Pete:
  • "It is as hard as everyone else's job. You have a lot of pressure on you in this public way, and have to be vulnerable." – Val [29:46]
  • "The combo of feeling pressure and having to be vulnerable … is like an insane combo." – Val [30:13]
• They discuss “vulnerability hangover” and the challenge of re-finding joy in ordinary life after a creative peak.

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3. Creative Life Aftermath and Partnership Dynamics

Timestamps: [31:43] – [37:00]

• The couple talks about the changing currents in their marriage—how Val’s step into the creative spotlight is altering their dynamic.
  • Val notes: "Now there's something nice too, about… I need your guidance again… I straight up need your advice about this." – Val [45:00]
• Pete validates the “crash” that follows performance as an inevitable part of the process, relating it to his own stand-up tours and need for support post-show.

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4. The “First Flashes” Movie Game

Timestamps: [12:34] – [19:02]

• Pete and Val riff on the game “First Flashes”—how we decide to rewatch a movie based on the first scenes or images that come to mind (“Do you want to watch The Princess Bride?” “As you wish…when he’s fetching the jug, because that is so sexy.”)
• Humorous analysis of why certain movies are appealing (“open in a chunky turtleneck at sea = always rewatchable”).
• Includes pop culture references (The Wedding Singer, Bourne Identity, MacGruber), plus irresistible inside jokes.
  • “You’re kind of wearing Matt Damon's sweater…so I'd love to give your boat a tug.” – Pete [84:53]

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5. Male Friendship: The Impossibility and Necessity

Timestamps: [37:06], [53:58] – [66:36]

• Pete opens up about attempts to nurture male friendships (inspired by “DTF St. Louis” and therapy conversations), and the unique vulnerability and awkwardness involved.
• They discuss the social conditioning making cisgendered heterosexual male friendship feel “illogical” or daunting.
  • "My therapist was like, cishet men have a really hard time... It's illogical to be friends." – Pete [54:49]
• Pete shares discomfort with the performative pressure to always seem pleasant or “interesting” on “mandates,” and his struggle to find friends who can handle his “where am I?” moods.
  • "There's no guy I know that wants to hang out with ‘where am I’ Pete." – Pete [61:52]
• Val offers a compassionate counterpoint: the “right friend” makes intimacy feel natural.
  • “It shouldn't feel like a task… It feels like a task until you meet the right guy.” – Val [59:41]
• Both reflect on the impact of childhood experiences, energy “oatmeal” metaphors, and the cycle of feeling disconnected even when friends exist at a distance.
  • "Is all of life just going and pouring your oatmeal sack into different bowls?" – Pete [63:06]
  • Val reframes: “An introvert feels like that and an extrovert feels like... everybody else has the water to make that oatmeal edible.” [63:50]
• They touch on friendship jealousy, the need to both give and receive support, and the universal cycle of feeling adrift.

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6. AI as the New Cult: Nexium Analogy

Timestamps: [75:13] – [84:45]

• Pete delivers a passionate, improv-heavy analogy between AI’s cultural reception and the recruitment tactics of cults like Nexium and Heaven’s Gate.
  • "AI is Nexium… Human beings, God love us, we don't know when we're being conned. We are so quick to give over our allegiance … It's the dawn, it is the end, it is here." – Pete [75:22]
• He invokes historical patterns: charismatic, confident, and occasionally effective leaders or technologies are granted blind allegiance, despite moments of clear danger or deception.
  • “If you are confident and fast and right some of the time, people will kill themselves. That's our species." – Pete [77:08]
  • “One guy went to Nexium with Tourette’s after a 30 year battle…They cleared up his Tourette’s…That’s what’s happening with AI. It’s curing some Tourette’s. But it’s not the whole picture.” – Pete [76:53]
• The warning: Healthy skepticism and historical context are essential. AI’s mythic promise is not new, and neither is our tendency to want saviors.

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7. Core Philosophical Takeaways & Closing Moments

Timestamps: [86:33] – [87:35]

• The episode closes with Pete’s philosophical reminder:
  • "Time is what eternity looks like when filtered through perception and thought." – Pete [87:01]
• They reflect on their own ongoing "three act play" of a relationship, the gift of being able to share vulnerability and updates for a lifetime, and the strangely soothing, strange fun that comes from being weird together.
• The classic sign-off: "Keep it crispy. You made it weird." [87:28]

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Notable Quotes

• "I do spend a lot of my time wondering if you live in a prison of your own making. And it's you." – Pete [04:49]
• “Performing is as hard as everyone else's job…you have a lot of pressure on you in this public way, and have to be vulnerable.” – Val [29:46]
• “Beyoncé concert withdrawals…It’s like a vulnerability hangover, but also just like a dopamine hangover.” – Val [32:37]
• "[Male friendship]…it's illogical to be friends. Like, I don't know what it is. So you go on these dates, and I've been going on man friendship dates." – Pete [54:49]
• "I need a little brokenness… There's a lot of people who are lovely, but they're not freaky enough for this freak." – Val [58:03]
• "Is all of life just going and pouring your oatmeal sack into different bowls?...That's how an introvert feels, by the way." – Pete [63:06]
• "AI is Nexium… If you are confident and fast and right some of the time, people will kill themselves. That's our species." – Pete [77:08]
• "Time is what eternity looks like when filtered through perception and thought." – Pete [87:01]

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Memorable/Light Moments

• Running “First Flashes” movie game: Pete and Val trade rapid-fire, evocative descriptions of favorite movie scenes, blending nostalgia and couple’s inside jokes.
• Pete likening his emotional state to pouring oatmeal, and Val reworking the metaphor to highlight introversion/extroversion dynamics.
• Extended wordplay about turtlenecks: “A turtleneck is the flowers you wear.” – Pete [86:10]
• Recurring shoutouts to Canadian filmmaker Matt Johnson, Mike Birbiglia, and the importance of enduring, supportive weirdness in relationships.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:31] – Pete previews the “three act” episode structure.
• [26:04] – Val’s deep dive into performing, vulnerability, and post-creative hangover.
• [37:06] – Fight Club & “life after the high” analogy.
• [53:58] – Pete explores the challenge of cultivating male friendship.
• [75:13] – Pete draws the major AI = cults analogy (Nexium/Heaven’s Gate).
• [86:33] – Summative reflections and closing thoughts.

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Tone and Language

The episode flows with Pete and Val’s trademark blend: open-hearted, self-deprecating, occasionally philosophical, and playful. Banter about vulnerability and “weirdness” is balanced by earnest, honest exchanges about relationship dynamics, friendship, and the risks of contemporary tech-driven society.

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For New Listeners

This episode is emblematic of the “We Made It Weird” ethos: spontaneous, layered, and emotionally smart. If you enjoy authentic discussions about creativity, relationships, and the absurdities of modern life—with plenty of sharp jokes and heart—you’ll find this one both insightful and entertaining.

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Sign-off:
“Keep it crispy. You made it weird.”

Transcript

[A]

Lemonade. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

[B]

What's happening, weirdos?

[A]

Funniest end to the podcast ever. We were just joking about. What am I gonna say about this episode? This is a trip I love this one. Starts pretty lit up middle. Sort of a soft gooey, like, little

[B]

sad in the middle of listening to me.

[A]

No, no, no, I don't mean that part. That was. I'm including that as the beginning.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

There is a lot of Val. Val. And I'm gonna give her some context. Context that I think might be helpful. I know you mentioned it, but Val just shot a couple shorts that she wrote and directed and acted in, and one of them involves her doing pole dance. And one of them involved you directing and acting at the same time. So you talk a lot about that process, which is super interesting, and how we are understanding each other even more. Not that we needed it. And then in the middle, I get depressed about male friendship and its impossibilities, but it's peppered with a lot of healing VAL energy. H V E where you're giving. You're like talking me out of this black hole. And then I get really lit up about how AI is Nexium.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that popped right at the end, in my opinion, when we needed a nice pop. But it might be. The whole episode is great. But that AI Nexium thing at the end is one of my favorite things that I've had to share about AI and you know, I love talking about it and it's hopeful and I think it's interesting. But we have like three acts. We have.

[B]

Yeah. I guess we're never able to really do this in the intro because we go. We ping pong all over the place. But there really were like three topics discussed.

[A]

This, this is a three topic, three act structure. And I will, I, I. You do live your life. I don't know where you're headed.

[B]

Do whatever you want.

[A]

You might be on your way to the er. I don't know where you're headed listening to this. Throw it on your favorite pod to stay calm on your way to the er. I don't know. What a weird example I just did. It doesn't matter why I riffed that.

[B]

It doesn't matter why.

[A]

I can't tell you why. But it's boring. I am so glad everybody is here. Thank you for listening. Val and I talk about a little bit in this episode, how much we love doing these episodes and having this built in, little check in, little date. So we're glad you're here. I'm not going to say much. Silly, silly fun boy is available on YouTube.com sorry www.YouTube.com spells to cast on your parents is my kids book. It's available for pre order. Please pre order that. Who cares. And number three is PeteHomes.com for all my tour dates. We got all sorts of tour dates coming up.

[B]

All sorts of tour dates, all sorts

[A]

of tard dates, Beautiful tar dates.

[B]

All right, Valerie, get into it.

[A]

Amazon Health AI presents painful thoughts.

[C]

Why did I search the Internet for answers to my cold sore problem? Now I'm stuck down a rabbit hole filled with images of alarmingly graphic source in various stages of ooze. I can clear my search history, but I can never unsee that.

[A]

Don't go down the rabbit hole. Amazon Health AI gets you the right care fast. Healthcare just got less painful. The sheer.

[B]

The sheer talk.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

That's what it feels like the moment you hit record. And

[A]

well before this. Lord knows we've been sitting in a dank heatless room with a candle burned down to a nubbin like a couple

[B]

of powered down robots just staring at the corners.

[A]

I was gonna say. I forget what I was gonna say. What did I say?

[B]

That's all I said.

[A]

That's what you said. That's what you said I was gonna say. The sheer thrill. Oh yes, very different. I'll note from yore and talk. I was saying the sheer thrill of the unknown. You don't know where it's going to go. Here we are. Here we are in outer space.

[B]

I'm thrilled.

[A]

Are you?

[B]

Well, the sheer thrill of it.

[A]

I do spend a lot of my time wondering if you live in a prison of your own making. And it's you.

[B]

Really do. You really do.

[A]

I know for someone who really. I do enjoy myself, but I do sometimes go like surely no one else could. And that's not even surely someone who lives with me must stop at some point because I'm like, Valerie, like calling you down to do the podcast. And I was like, this is. And this everyone knows I'm gonna go here. I always think in terms of like an indie movie. And you're upstairs packing for our trip tomorrow and like you just hear me, Valerie, and it's just like it's like a Roald Dahl novel where you're about to discover a magical medicine or a giant or maybe a peach. But you need out by medicine, giant or peach.

[B]

You need out one way or another

[A]

by medicine, giant or peach. Something's gotta change. Like that is the podcast is already paid out. I have to get this off my chest. I've been doing so many look over the past six months, so nobody's going to be able to like Reverse Detective. Which ones I'm talking about.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

I've been doing a lot of podcasts to promote my YouTube special, silly, silly Fun Boy. Yeah, let's just get this out of the way. I'm not talking about bad friends that just dropped, but because there are certain people that do it and that are into it and there. And there are others and it might be me misreading it. All I want to say is there's so many podcasts now and it's been commodified so much now that you never know. Am I doing a podcast where two people want to find by medicine or giant or peach and have fun with their lives, or is this just some fucking reverse engineered deal? And I'm happy to say to you, dear listeners, this is the true.

[B]

This is the true blue over here.

[A]

You know those flags with the blue stripe on the American flag? That's actually support of this podcast.

[B]

That's actually our podcast flag.

[A]

People don't know that that's our podcast flag. I'm going to take off my sweatshirt, so you have a good 13 seconds.

[B]

Okay. Well, I am happ. Happy to say. I'm happy to say that 45 minutes ago. Oh, I was talking to my therapist who just asked if we were still doing our podcast.

[A]

You guys still together?

[B]

So first of all, that's how much I never mention it in therapy, which is means because I like it and all's good in the hood as opposed

[A]

to a therapist that goes, and how's podcast? Not even the podcast. And how's podcast?

[B]

Uh, she said, are you still doing the podcast? And I said, yeah, we've done like some 280 something.

[A]

200.

[B]

200 episodes. We started when I was 10 years old.

[A]

Oh. You know, you try to.

[B]

And I was like, it's so, you know, everything that we say to the listeners in the intro. But I really said it to my therapist where I said, it's so corrective for us. I know people who were raised religious where you like, can't be transparent about anything to get to practice being transparent and vulnerable. And then it's like so good for our marriage to get to show up for each other in this way where we can't talk about logistics and we can't, you know, and we're not one of those couples that talks about logistics all the time. Mostly because you have an intolerance to it, which I'm grateful for.

[A]

My therapist today called me neurospicy.

[B]

Neuro spicy is so not neurodivergent.

[A]

Just a little neurospiciness.

[B]

Neuro spicy.

[A]

Cause I was like, I. The more honest I get. I hope I'm not interrupting. I hope I'm building.

[B]

No.

[A]

Am I building or interrupting?

[B]

Both.

[A]

Can't it be both?

[B]

Can't it be both?

[A]

I was just saying the same thing to her about my inability to plan. And we were saying. I was like, I don't know what that is. And she was like, it's neurospicy.

[B]

Neurospicy.

[A]

Neurospicy.

[B]

She sounds so much like my therapist.

[A]

This is when we find out.

[B]

This is. I found out. Yeah.

[A]

This is our Margaritaville.

[B]

What?

[A]

No, not Margaritaville. What's the other one? Oh, if you like pina coladas. The other. The other overly sweet rum or tequila drink.

[B]

Yes. Song by the same person. Right?

[A]

No.

[B]

What?

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, you're right. That was more of a country song. Sounds like a country song. Do you guys know that reference? Well, just like listeners. But do you.

[A]

Sounds like. Is it like Nickelodeon? Is that, like, all that or something?

[B]

No, and I don't appreciate.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I'm proud that I loved all that.

[A]

I'm proud you loved all that. All that raised you into the piece of ace I love.

[B]

That's exactly right. No, this is from the Wedding Singer, and it's when he.

[A]

Oh, yeah, sounds good.

[B]

When Glenn punches him and he's like, how about you write a song about this? I got punched in the face for sticking.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Where it doesn't belong.

[B]

And the old man he's with goes. Sounds like a country song.

[A]

Yeah. And isn't that blue, My boy Blue?

[B]

Oh, yeah, it is blue.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. There was one comedy old guy for a while, and I'm not gonna riff on that.

[B]

No, that's done.

[A]

That is done.

[B]

We're done. Done talking.

[A]

Look, I'm. I know we do ads. Well, we don't do Patreon. Nothing against it. Sometimes I flirt with the idea of only doing Patreon. We could just get rid of all our ads and just do Patreon. And if every single listener promised, vowed, hands on Bible stuff, every single casual listener vowed to join our Patreon, I would happily pull the plug on what has been working for over a decade. But if we did do a Patreon where it was the video of we made it weird, which we'll never do. Because I love how ham radio it is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I love how, you know, we're up in my treehouse, I got my nudie mags. It's like jerking off in a time.

[B]

Wait, what's that from?

[A]

Stepbrothers. That's right. That's right. Like a country song.

[B]

Sounds like a country song. I don't know if we'll know. I mean, we have currently no interest in doing a video. But I.

[A]

Well, I didn't even finish the thought, which is you just. When you broke your eye contact and you went, that's done. You said it into a void. You didn't say it to me. I will say you said it into a void.

[B]

And I do want to talk about this. I have a lot to say about this topic. But I would just like to get a little teaser.

[A]

A souson.

[B]

A Sousa. I've done two. I've shot two. Well, I've done two shoots in the last three weeks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And where.

[A]

I'm on the golden Road.

[B]

Because I'm on the golden road.

[A]

She's writing, she's directing, she's producing, she's acting.

[B]

And these two were the first ones that I've acted in. And the first one we've. We're in the middle of editing and boy, is my face tired. It doesn't make sense. But what I'm trying to say is I am the. I think I might be the most expressive person in.

[A]

I mean, I don't know what's happening, but I feel like I'm a boat. You know, when a boat goes through ice, like Frankenstein.

[B]

Uh huh. Love. I just really got a strong desire to rewatch that when.

[A]

Don't get me started. But when you say, do you want to watch a movie? Your brain will give you a spread of like 30, maybe 15 to 30 snapshots of that movie. And Frankenstein is a boat going into ice. And that's how it starts.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that is like a very. Like, I'll rewatch that. Where's that boat going?

[B]

Totally.

[A]

It's very good.

[B]

It's very good. I mean, and it is like I'm going to give myself over to this thing that it's pretty hard to give yourself over to, but that's right.

[A]

It's worth it. In fact, when I. What I'm trying to step out. I don't think I quite did. It is like you say, do you want to watch the Wedding Singer? And I'm going to tell you what I see.

[B]

Do you want to watch the Wedding Singer?

[A]

Okay. Adam Sandler's friend is bringing over a CD player.

[B]

That's Glenn. Not his friend, but yes.

[A]

Glenn.

[B]

Glenn, the guy she's marrying.

[A]

Glenn Gulia.

[B]

Glenn Gulia gets her a CD player.

[A]

So he's the jackass. That was like 500 bucks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I go. Okay. I go right to Drew Barrymore's very cute haircut.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I go to things I could have known yesterday. I go to him drunk, singing, and needing to be shaved. I have the microphone, and you will listen to every word I say. And then I go to the airplane. Grow old with you with Billy Idol. And then I say, yes. Yes, you do it now. Ready? Do you want to watch the princess bride?

[B]

Oh. I go to the first shot of them kissing, like when she's saying goodbye to him.

[A]

When they're lovers.

[B]

When they're love. Well, yeah, like in the beginning.

[A]

She's the servant. He's the servant boy.

[B]

I go to. As you wish. I go to. As you wish.

[A]

As you wish. Down the hill, downhill. As you wish.

[B]

No, I go to the jug. As you wish. Because that is so sexy. When they are.

[A]

When he's holding her jugs.

[B]

No. Well, kind of. When she's like, can you fetch that picture there?

[A]

Oh. And then he like, yeah, that makes my vagina moist.

[B]

Love it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. The. The hills. As you wish.

[C]

The usual.

[A]

With the perfect demasking.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

He's being demasked perfectly.

[B]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[A]

Who was the hill's agent? Because his agent was like, I got a hill that you need to roll down and be demasked by.

[B]

And the fact that she throws herself down, too, is, like, both funny and charming.

[A]

That's love.

[B]

It's so good.

[A]

That sounds like something.

[B]

That's what love is.

[A]

That's like. Sounds like something that, like, a real fiery Italian relationship would say.

[B]

No.

[A]

But also this very. Just kind of bland white parenting.

[B]

It's very. Yeah, it's all. It's all true. It's like, look, I'm gonna get a little banged up, but where you go, I go.

[A]

And that goes back to iceberg. Finish your. Your list, though, because clearly Fezzik holding the rock and going, I could have hit you.

[B]

Yeah. Anybody want a peanut? I mean, there's actually. It's so hard to narrow it down.

[A]

Yeah. But that's why I want, like, the first and, like, really what's interesting to me about this game, which we're calling first flashes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is when do you say yes?

[B]

Oh, I say yes. First one.

[A]

With the jugs.

[B]

Yes. When he's cupping her jugs for that one I do. But other movies, it takes a while.

[A]

I'm so with you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Will you give me the gift of giving me one? It has to be a movie I'm very familiar with, obviously.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Do you want to watch?

[B]

Do you want to watch?

[A]

For those of you that just turned your radios on, we're playing First Flashes.

[B]

I'm going to. I'm going to indulge you and say, do you want to watch Bourne Identity?

[A]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Well, the first thing is Jason Bourne in the turtleneck the crew give him after they pull him out of the sea. He's in the very, very cozy kind of green gray. Like, it's a little big. It's a little big. He wasn't on the crew. He borrowed it from one of the. One of the beer swilling fishermen.

[B]

And I bet he pulls it off. I don't remember.

[A]

Of course he does.

[B]

I'm sure he does.

[A]

I just said on another podcast, I was like, matt Damon is like, someone fixed Mike Birbiglia. He looks great. Somebody, somebody.

[B]

It's kind of a compliment.

[A]

AI'd Mike Birbiglia. Somebody put Mike Birbiglia into an AI and was like, can you make this better? And it just turns into Matt Damon.

[B]

That's not too far from Matt Damon. Mikey.

[A]

No, I think. I think Mikey does look like Matt Damon. And I love Mikey very much. And I've said that exact burn to him. There's no talking out of school here. So, yeah, there's the turtleneck, But I love that. I think there was an algorithm before algorithms were really the thing that we all talk about that would predict whether or not a movie was a success. And one of the metrics it used was, where is the opening scene? I've talked about this before. It's a real snooze. It's a Malcolm Gladwell thing. And the example they use is the Nicole Kidman movie, the Interpreter opens in, like, the Congo. And they were like, that's negative 25 points. I believe that you can't open in the Congo.

[B]

Well, I will tell you, open at

[A]

sea in a chunky turtleneck.

[B]

Yes. Or in some, like, beautiful location. I'm telling you, that's why so many movies start with the aerial views of the city.

[A]

Isn't that American beauty? I know. It ends on the aerial view.

[B]

I don't know. But like, you know what I mean? Like the cityscapes, where it's like,

[A]

yeah, yeah, yeah. Going through the street. New York, Starskin Hutch. And the car peels around the corner.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. But Also, I love McGruber is one of my favorite movies of all time. And I don't like the beginning because he's like somewhere like the Congo.

[A]

I know when they find him.

[B]

When they find him.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But he does the flip from the seated position. That's my first flash. Ask me if I want to. No, no, no. Do you want to watch McGruber?

[B]

Okay. I go straight up to, no, you can't ride in the back.

[A]

But this is why you always say yes. If I. Yes, I.

[B]

And then I go right to celery. I go to my favorite jokes. Really?

[A]

If. All I thought about was, no, you can't ride in the back. Bed. No, you can't ride in the back. But.

[B]

But no, you can't ride in the back.

[A]

And then the celery in his ass. When I saw the. We've talked about this before. It was one of the hardest laps of my life.

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

I can't set up perfectly. He finds the celery in the trash and he's like, I got a few tricks up my.

[B]

I got an idea.

[A]

I got an idea. And it's just him cluck with its celery in his house, like smiling in

[B]

that little forte way.

[A]

I've never wanted to be Ryan Felipe more than to just be on that set.

[B]

That is just exactly what's funny to me. I can't bear it. Or. And then like that she's dressed up as him. And then.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

And they're both dressed up as him.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Anyway.

[A]

And I go to Kristen wig playing the piano.

[B]

Me too. I was. That was going to be my next one, I swear to God.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's like.

[A]

It's like one minus two is you. It's like one of those sillies.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I also want to say in Born Identity there's a no special effects shot where a killer gets up and he just runs and jumps out a window like he kills himself. It's like a very sort of disturbing part of Born identity. You don't think of this. And then Pamela L. No, that's ultimatum. So anyway, my boat has been going through ice. And then your little dinghy. Beautiful dinghy. Little dinghy is right coming up my oil banger. Boy, it's a banger. People say it's a banger. Can you picture Trump requesting a song at a wedding?

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

Could you put on Black Eyed Peas? Let's get it started. I don't like the R word version. I like the one that everyone can enjoy.

[B]

Oh, my God. He's even, like. He's kind of woke considerate about it.

[A]

I know. It's the R word. I don't like when Fergie lowered herself to that. Prefer let's get it started. Get what started? Joke's on you. It's getting rich.

[B]

I prefer the junk in your trunk, not the junk in your mouth.

[A]

Is that what he says?

[B]

That's. Is that what he says? No, Fergie has the, like, junk in her trunk line. There's, like, a junk in their trunk. Maybe I'm getting that wrong.

[A]

Oh, in the song, it says, put this junk in your mouth.

[B]

No, junk in the mouth is like, a bad word. Like the R word. It's ungettable. Forget it.

[A]

I understand.

[B]

This is why I'm only in a dinghy and you're in a big shape.

[A]

No, I think my riff stands. They say, let's get it started, but what they're getting started is getting like that. Like a different comedian could make that joke.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And to great success. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. As you may know, May is mental health awareness month. And I do think it makes a good reminder that. That everybody in the world, everybody is carrying something. Sometimes it's big stuff. Sometimes it's just those 3am brain thoughts. Like, hey, remember that awkward thing you said back in 2017? Thanks a lot, brain. Super helpful. But really, life can be overwhelming for all of us. And work, family, the future. This can overwhelm. Trying to be present while also looking at your phone 30,000 times a day. This can be a bit much. But the good news, you don't have to carry this alone. Therapy has been such a game changer for me. And BetterHelp has over 30,000 licensed therapists and has helped more than 6 million people worldwide. They will match you with a therapist based on a short questionnaire. And if you want to switch therapists, you can do that at any time. People really love BetterHelp. They have an average rating of 4.9 based on 5 based on over 1.7 million client reviews. So it is incredibly well reviewed. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] weird. That's better. H E L P.com weird. I order everything online. So why would blinds be different? Why am I going to a store under fluorescent lighting to look at blinds all day? There's A better way to buy blinds, shades, shutters and drapery. And it is called three day Blinds. They are the leading manufacturer of high quality custom window treatments in the US and right now you can use my URL3dayblinds.com weird. They're running a buy one, get one half off deal. 50% off the second one. They bring the showroom to you. It's so easy. A professionally trained design consultant with like 10 plus years of experience comes to your home, helps you choose what actually works in your space and gives you a free no obligation quote the same day. And then they handle everything, which is great for me. Design measure, install, no guessing, no stress. Plus you can choose from thousands of options including light filtering, blackout and even motorized blinds that work with Alexa, which is honestly amazing. We are doing this for our game room. We're putting blackout curtains or shades up in there. Black it out. Zelda big screen Amazing. Right now get quality window treatments that fit your budget with 3 day blinds. Head to 3 day blinds weird. For their buy one get one 50% off deal on custom blind shades, shutters and drapery blinds for a free no charge, no obligation consultation. Head to three day blinds.com weird. One last time. That's buy one get one 50% off when you head to the number three D a Y blinds.com weird. Yep. Pete and Valad really throwing her in here. Hey. This episode is brought to us by article, which Val ordered for us and loved it so much. I was like, you have to do the ad with us. We love when something shows up at your house and you immediately go, this is legit. And that is how we feel about our amazing article furniture. Val, what did we get?

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We got two gorgeous lounge chairs tossed.

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The old rickety broken moldy wooden ones. Gone.

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[B]

Let's listen to their podcast.

[A]

Oh, my God, you are dangerous. So anyway, you're not in a dinghy. I'm just saying you keep having the same experiences as me and I love it. It's been really special because when I did season one of HBO's Crashers, I was like, jesus Christ, somebody give, like, give me Botox so I can't move my face so much.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, totally.

[A]

I want that Ralph Fines face. I want that Voldemort. Not even Rafe. Voldemort.

[B]

Voldemort.

[A]

Give me the full Voldemort process.

[B]

Ray finds in hours of prosthetics.

[A]

I want Voldemort before you've even brushed him. Airbrushed them so you can see the piece. Yeah, the COD piece.

[B]

Well, that's actually what I wanted to talk about is that. It is. One of the things is that it's helping me understand performers. And I've really only done these two performances, but one of them was, like, incredibly vulnerable. I can say it. It's a pole dance.

[A]

And you're doing a thing about somebody overcoming sex shame through the. The art of the pole.

[B]

Yes, basically.

[A]

And early polling shows boners are up 70%,

[B]

But.

[A]

So I really am so proud of you.

[B]

I know you are. I know. And it is. And we shot it and it's beautiful. And that one is like, so. Yeah, so that was on Friday. Today is Monday and I'm still recovering and mostly because it was such a physical feat to like, lift, pull myself up onto a pole for six hours straight.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But also because it felt like my wedding. It was so fun. I was. It was so, like, sparkly and beautiful and they, they. We, like, really spared no expense. Not really. But like, we went big with this shoot. Like, we had a Steadicam and we had several cameramen and like a big, like, professional light show. And it was like.

[A]

Well, we talked about that. I was like, this is like a stunt or a sex scene. You don't want to you don't want

[B]

it to be sexy stunt. It can't look cheap because then it looks really sleazy.

[A]

Let the rest of it be cheap. But if you start looking.

[B]

Yeah, it was really good advice. And we did that. And it. So it is.

[A]

Took a moment to step up. My own good advice.

[B]

It was just stunning how they made it look. And then on top of that, it's like, all of my girlfriends are there doing my makeup and hair, fixing me, like, tweaking. Do you need your water? Do you want cough? Like, do you. And then I was like, oh, my God. I really understand how. How performers can start being kind of insane.

[A]

Diet Coke.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like Mick Jagger story. Yes, Diet Coke.

[B]

Exactly. Like, it's just such a vulnerable. You're doing so. Because the way I've always seen it, I don't think there should be a hierarchy on sets. I think everybody is working really hard at their job. And the sets that I've been on feel the best when everybody feels supported and appreciated in their job. And, like, everybody is so good at their jobs that it's easy to do that. And that's how I. The times that I've been the director or on sets at all involved, I really, really try to create that environment of like, hey, you are so good at your job. Thank you for doing it and giving us the gift of your job and all of that. So I don't think there should be a hierarchy. And in the past, I have looked at actors and the way actors can act as like. Or behave as like.

[A]

I was gonna give you that note.

[B]

Yeah. Is like that. It's. You know what's funny is I just, like, started to panic because I realized I've gone the longest stretch I think I've ever gone without you interrupting me. And so I'm like, I gotta keep this up. I know it's a thriller. He's listening to me. I gotta go.

[A]

Don't blow it.

[B]

Like, hardly scared.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't overthink it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. So brave. Okay. And. Oh, I've just thought of them as. Act like, how they behave. Being like, everybody's job is hard. Like, I know your job is hard, but everyone here's job is hard. But. And I don't think actors should be, like, treated above others.

[A]

You made that clear. Get to the juice. Get to the.

[B]

Here's the thing. What I realized in now, having done many different jobs on set, the thing about performing is that it is as hard as everyone else's job. And you're you have a lot of pressure on you in this specific, like, public kind of way. And you have to be vulnerable. So the combo of like being feeling pressure and having to be vulnerable and working hard.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is like an insane combo. And you do feel like I can't be talking to you about this right now. I have to really get my head on straight before I do this thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And of course I didn't say that to anybody, but like, I had the feeling of like, yeah, you can bring me my. Like, I didn't like it when you offer. I'm like, yeah, I'll say yes to this because, like, I need. I can't take the extra steps in this 6 inch heel stepping over cords and stuff to like, go get my coffee.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is, this is a tricky area, but it's literally like a liability to have you clip clop over there. Yeah, yeah, we need to get you. Bring you a coffee.

[B]

And.

[A]

But it is the vulnerability. And I would add to it. Like, there's some projects where the actor isn't the stake, meaning the main course, the performance isn't the main.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

There are some people that like sort of famously, really their method and the way they frame it and the way they light it and the music and all this stuff is more important than the acting. But most of the time people are tuning in. I just heard our favorite Canadian filmmaker, Matt Johnson, talk about this. It's not really what gear you use, it's what you point the camera at. And it's like, so if you are the thing, that's a lot of pressure.

[B]

Yeah, totally. And I think I've made myself clear that I'm not promoting bad behavior or saying that anybody owed me anything. I just have never really experienced that specific type of touchiness. And then the other thing, and this comes back around to like, how this is helping me appreciate you, is that doing these two different shoots in three weeks, I've experienced like, it's such an insane heightened state when you're doing it that it takes days to recover.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And recalibrate. Like, so the dopamine levels are all off. It's like, I remember the times that I've experienced this before. I'm sorry. My phone was on one was our wedding. Obviously I like felt like when we got to our honeymoon, I remember feeling like, this is really exciting, but I feel like I'm not feeling it in the same way that I would be because I'm. I'm coming down from the high of our wedding.

[A]

Still, like, it's all just.

[B]

And then the other time, I remember feeling it was the first time I saw Beyonce. The next day, my friend Annie and I were just sort of, like, roaming around New York, and we had. We were like, oh, we're having, like, withdrawals. Like, it was such a heightened day. Day that, like, it just is. You're almost. It's like a hangover. It's. It's. It's a vulnerability hangover, but also just like a dopamine hangover. And so, you know, yesterday I tried to, like, not be on my phone as much because I noticed that I'm like. You also get so, like. I'm embarrassed to say this, but you, like, get so used to, like, feeling sparkly and pretty. So then I'm just on Instagram more because I'm looking for that kind of validation again or something. So then I put my phone away, and I, like, worked in the yard for a while, and that felt really good. And it was. I just feel like I'm slowly coming back to finding pleasure in my everyday life again. And it's. And so it's making me think of you because you do these weekends where you're doing five shows, and there's been. I've only experienced it from my point of view, where I'm solo parenting during that time. And then you get home, and I'm like, okay, great, you're home. Like, go ahead. I need to rest. And. And like you, there's always a rough sort of adjustment day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I, like. See, I've experienced that now. Like, how that happens.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly it. And it's funny. We're always very polite on the road, and. And we're. Matt and I always joke about how low maintenance we are, but there have been so many times when I get there and, like, my rider, which is preposterously unsexy, is cornflakes and almond milk.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the reason that's in there is because sometimes you're coming straight from the airport, you didn't have time to eat, and you just need to load up on something that's just kind of carby and sugary and light and just road tested.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I can perform well on corn flakes. I don't know why.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they just don't have it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that happens over and over and over. And I'm just like, you.

[B]

You.

[A]

You're tempted. I never do. I'll say it to Matt. I'm like, it's not a huge ask. It's it's not a huge ask. It's like. And that's asking somebody to whatever, nicely, to get your coffee. Because you're trying to. You're trying to, like, steal yourself. When you're. When you're on set or you're about to do a show, you're living in this heightened, like, this condensed state. And after you do it, even if it was only 5, 6 hours for your shoot or whatever, that expands over days. So it's like, the ramifications of those actions in that time period. So the shows. It's not just the shows. It's the. Like, I wake up. I've talked about this too much. But you wake up in the night with lines, cuts, edits. You're just scribbling. So many big changes have been written on holiday in little notepads. And that's really the cost of it. And that's why it's a job. And it's not chill. And my dinner before the show is not chill. None of it is chill. Yeah, and none of your day was chill. And it's super fun. It's both.

[B]

Yeah, it is both. Well, that's the weird thing is that it feels sort of like a drug, but it's not bad for you. Like, it is, like, a good thing. You're in, like, a flow state. It's. It's creative life force. Like, it's very good. It's high vibrations. But I see how people get addicted to chasing that feeling because you're like, well, now I'm just home, like, fixing the chicken coop, and I'm not getting any kind of pleasure out of it like I would have before I was in a sparkling gown, like, with all these lights on me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I. You and I have talked about that, and I think, like, the. I'm still learning this. Obviously, it's very new. But I think the answer is to sit in that discomfort, like, knowing that that's gonna happen, and to let there be a comedown for a few days so that you can experience joy in your normal life.

[A]

Well, that's what we've been talking about.

[B]

Don't think the answer is, so then just get on the next project and the next project. And that which we see so many of our friends do, and I have compassion for that. Like, I understand it's harder to let there be valleys and mountains.

[A]

I always talk about. I probably said this the last time this came up on the show, but it's Fight Club. Like, so many things. So many things.

[B]

So many things are beautiful.

[A]

Fight Club. It's gentlemen. They get together, they fighting the soap.

[B]

I think of.

[A]

Well, I think everybody thinks of Brad Pitt getting up off of the guy and you see his body.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

There's that classic. You know what I'm talking about.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

But in Fight Club, they talk about after Fight Club. The volume on everything else in your life gets turned down. Well, this is just. So he's in work and he's like, I'm doing the. It's like, yeah, if you're getting punched in the face and punching someone in the face. Kind of hard to focus up during church.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So. But what you and I experienced. I was just talking about this on one of. I've been going on man friend dates, and I'm really just getting curious about male friendship, and it's been interesting. And we were talking about that when every day is your birthday. And I love touring. In fact, I'm missing touring. Like, I took this month off from touring, and I just kind of like, oh, I'm noticing that missing, but, like, pushing through that boredom or that numbness or whatever and just. It doesn't take much. It doesn't take that much. Yeah, it's like one little. You realize you're just sitting in a chair, like, what am I doing? Shouldn't I be running for an airport gate? And then you're like, no.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You just kind of have to, like, resume control of the aircraft and be like, no, we don't always have to be doing loop de loops.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we can. We can relax a little bit.

[B]

Absolutely. And, like, sink into it. The other thing I wanted to share goes back to sort of the. The strange mind set of acting. I don't think I talked about the Winnie the Pooh shirt on here today.

[A]

No.

[B]

So one of the things that happened. So the first shoot, I was directing my. I was co directing and acting in it. So that one was an insane whirlwind because there is. There's like, actual footage of me being like, okay, so we need this person to stand here. And then you walk by when she says this, and then you come over there. Okay, action. So what are we gonna do? You know, like, whatever, you know, just like, going into acting. So it was such a, like, heightened crazy fugue state. And while we were editing that, my. My friend, who's also my working partner, my writing partner and the co director of this, who was also acting in it, said she said something about, like, when you freak. When I, like, freaked out about the Winnie the Pooh shirt. And so in this, I'm wearing a baggy Winnie the Pooh shirt. It's, like, very unflattering, but it's a, it's like a funny thing to wear because of the context of what the show is about.

[A]

Sort of accidentally going to a sexy class.

[B]

Yeah, the, the I, the concept is that it's like, we think we're going to a yoga class, but it ends up being a tantric sex workshop. So I'm, like, very much dressed for a yoga class and not sexy at all. And I guess at one point during.

[A]

I know you gave me 100 acre wood.

[B]

Thank you. I actually made. That's so funny that you said that.

[A]

He did.

[B]

I, I don't think we ended up shooting it, but I, like, presented that

[A]

as an alt that you gave someone 100 or that.

[B]

Like, I, like, why am I wearing a Winnie the Pooh shirt? That's not going to give anybody a Hundred Acre Wood. We made the same joke, and then I think we decided not to even shoot it.

[A]

The difference between me and you, that would have been over black, to really emphasize, like, voiceover only. And then cut to you guys walking to class. It would be the joke. In fact, it still could be the way that I'm pitching it. You could record it afterwards.

[B]

Oh, maybe we'll stuff it in the trailer or something. But anyway, so I guess there is a moment at the peak of the stress of the day where it really was like, we're losing light and we have too much stuff to shoot, where I said to Lisa, like, why did you make me wear a Winnie the Pooh shirt?

[A]

Everybody else looks so good.

[B]

Everybody else looks so good. And I didn't remember even feeling that way, let alone saying that. And that, like, really scared me because I, I have such a strong filter. Like, I am filtering what I say constantly. I, I, I never am unfiltered. Like, even when I drink alcohol, I'm, like, still pretty measured in what I say.

[A]

Full HEPA over here.

[B]

So I just to have, like, this moment where I was clearly thinking about 30 other things. And, like, so while my brain was, like, trying to do that some, there was, like, a moment for this part of me to, like, get through the guards and say something that I didn't even know I felt. And I felt really, like, scared and vulnerable, like, scared that I didn't remember it. Really embarrassed. Like, I, I was out of control for a minute.

[A]

I just don't know what happened out there. I told you how I actually feel about this shirt. Well, I do think this is why people do things, why people play sports, why they have game nights, why they have jobs. Like, you have these feelings, and you want to let them out, I guess.

[B]

Yeah. And. And, yeah. And luckily, Lisa is such a good partner in this, and she was like, no, I knew that you were just stressed and feeling, like, the vulnerability of seeing yourself in playback, basically. Yeah, but. Yeah, but anyway, so all of. And you helped me feel so much better about that. Where you're like, this is gonna come out in one way or another, like. Like, it's like this tension rising.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For all of the. Again, not to overuse the word, but, like, the vulnerability of it that it will come out in.

[A]

Well, when you told me that story I told you about when we did the True Detective sketch.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And Alicia, who's a wonderful wardrobe person and a friend of mine, got me the wrong jacket. Like, I really wanted McConaughey's jacket, and she didn't get it. And by the way, I'm only mentioning Alicia by name because she's incredible. And I wouldn't even count this as a mistake. She couldn't. It didn't exist in size. Andre the normal guy, not the Giant, but, like, Andre, though. Wow.

[B]

Andre the Giant would have been easier. You're somewhere in between.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's easy to go full Giant or Peach or Medicine, but I remember having more of a reaction about that. But it's not about the jacket, and it's not. It's just about how you're feeling. It's hard to be in front of the camera, and it's watching. Watching you do that and figure that out has been. I didn't need you to figure it out, but it's fun to see it from your side.

[B]

Well, it's really, like, working well for our relationship because it helps me, like, understand and appreciate you on another level. But then also, I, like, need your guidance on this. It's like, I feel like our relationships has had different phases where, you know, like, when we had Leela, for example, there was, like, kind of a correction of a. We didn't have, like, a bad power dynamic, but there was a little bit of, like, a. You were supporting us financially, and I kind of just came along and, like, did, you know, went, like, was touring with you. I was, like, very much in your world. And then we had Leela, and I feel like that evened things out a little bit because now I'm like, the mother, and I know a little bit more. Not that much more, but a little bit more about what to do. With babies than you do, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And there was, like, sort of this

[A]

thing that, like, I did famously clothespin Leela to the clothesline.

[B]

I just didn't know it wasn't that.

[A]

The hell?

[B]

What the hell? What the hell? No, no, no, you did great.

[A]

I wasn't even feeling sensitive about that.

[B]

And maybe. Maybe it was just in my own mind. I, like, started to respect myself more in my contributions to our life. But then now there's sort of something nice, too, about, like, it's like, I need your guidance again. Like, I need your. I, straight up, need your advice about this.

[A]

No, we've talked about this before.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm happy to talk about it again.

[B]

Nope, nope. Don't say another.

[A]

No. It's just nice to feel his foam and to just be like, that's normal.

[B]

Yeah. It really helps me. It's great. All right, enough about that.

[A]

Isn't it funny that you. I know what you're talking about when you're like, I'm talking and he's not interrupting. That's how I feel when I'm peeing at a ballpark. When they have, like, a trough and you start peeing and you're like, I'm doing it. I'm peeing.

[B]

Oh, yes. Anytime.

[A]

Then I'm like, no, don't think about it.

[B]

Yeah, I felt that. I mean, I actually am surprised that I didn't feel that way when I was doing the dance, the pole dance, because that's usually how I feel. Like, I used. When I used to, like, sing in front of audiences at church. Take it easy. What the hell?

[A]

In front of congregations. Yes.

[B]

In front of.

[A]

There's a reason why we give them a new.

[B]

A different word. They're not an audience.

[A]

Not an audience.

[B]

It's a congregation.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I would have that exact thing where I'm like, don't think about it. Don't think about the words you're saying. Don't think about.

[A]

I do that.

[B]

Do you? Like when you're doing stand up every

[A]

once in a while? It's rare, but it's when I'm getting bored having done too many shows, or the stakes are high and you're filming it. I'll be doing stand up. And I'm like, don't think about how you're doing this.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You're not dead. I'm happy to say you can fully be like, wait, what if I forget the next part? Just relax.

[B]

Just. I mean, my acting teacher. How did I become this person? But she.

[A]

Yeah, you're becoming the Me.

[B]

She said that. She's like, that's when. When you know it's going well is when you're not thinking about the words that you're saying.

[A]

Yeah, precise. Amundo. Yeah, precise. Which is the thing. I don't know if I've talked about this and. And it remains to be seen if this will be what we do. But, you know, with our ongoing fascination with Nirvana, the band, the show, and the wonderful Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie, and Matt Johnson and Jay McCarroll in general, they're like out there looking for mistakes and finding and stuff. So anyway, how much of this did I share? I did those shows in Dallas and we filmed them.

[B]

You did share that? Yeah.

[A]

And we're like, what if. I did talk about what if. This is the special.

[B]

Pretty. I'm pretty sure. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. And I know I didn't share this the night. This is the recipe for me for a great weekend of stand up comedy. I did a show, and no disrespect to this show. I did a benefit show in Houston.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And these people couldn't have been lovelier.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it was, you know, it's sort of a classic setup. It's a ballroom. People are eating their fancy meal. It's to raise funds. And there's like a long video making all these excuses. But There was a 15 minute video about cancer and. Very sweet.

[B]

Right before you went on.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

That's just how it is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Nobody ever goes like, maybe let's have a night to raise funds. And not because they're about to ask them to for money.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So it's like, hey, give us money. Here's why you should. And by the way, you totally should. And then it's called the Broach Foundation. And then it was me and I'm like, I'm your. I'm your prize. Thanks for coming out here. I am. But I went up and I was like, they wanted me to be clean. And as we've talked about many times before, it's not swearing, it's the ability to say anything I want.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And that's not just about me and my ego and my fun, but, like, I need to feel like I can say or do whatever I want. And that's what a comedy club is. A comedy club is a very sacred place. And it's like, here we just go on board with whatever the comedian wants. And it's a really wonderful feeling. Talk about permanent birthday.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I did this show and it went fine. It went fine, but I felt on a leash the whole time. Then I get to Dallas and it's in a comedy club and like now I'm off leash and I had the most fun and now I'm in a very exciting time where we're going like, we're looking at the footage and we're like, could this be the special? And some of the footage is like lower res and like, you know, it's like this weird, almost like surveillance camera footage. And I'm like, is that a handicap or is that what's gonna make this feel really special?

[B]

Yeah, I don't know. I know. I do love the like, what is the thing where it's like necessity is the mother of invention.

[A]

Yeah, totally.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's what Matt Johnson was talking about a lot in Nirvana. The band and all of these like, things that they wouldn't have chosen ending up becoming the pivotal change. Anyway, you get it. If you're anything like me, you've been hearing a lot about GLP1 medication in the news. People, you know, taking it, friends. I have so many friends taking it. And at first I thought it was just like a trend, some sort of wellness fad. But the more I've learned, the more I see these are actual serious health care tools that are more about not just weight loss, but energy cravings, overall health, not just the number on the scale. One thing that made GLP1 feel kind of daunting to people is that it's usually a self administered shot. But now there's a new FDA approved GLP1 pill which makes the whole thing feel so much more approachable. And that's where Roe comes in. Ro offers the first FDA approved GLP1 pill for weight loss at the lowest cost around. It is the same weight loss ingredient as the shot and delivers comparable results helping patients lose about 14% of their body weight in a year on average. ROE makes everything simple with 100% online care. Access to FDA approved GLP1 medication, free insurance checks, side effect management, dosing support and provider messaging. And honestly, if I was going to do this, this is the path I would take. RO is what I would use. So go to RO Co Weird to see if you're eligible for the new GLP1 pill on Roe. That's Roe Co weird to get started. Roe Co safety for box warning and full safety information about GLP1 medication based on study in non diabetics with obesity or overweight plus a weight related condition with diet and exercise. Amazon Health AI presents Painful thoughts why

[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

Can I say this? I'll never. I'm not wearing socks right now. Oh, I hate it.

[B]

Yeah, me too.

[A]

I hate it. And the guy I went on my man date with and they really are dates.

[B]

I. I believe you. They're dates I love. Is this like, how much is this inspired by DTF St. Louis?

[A]

31.

[B]

Okay. Okay. So let's say a third 33%. I mean, I rounded up.

[A]

I said 31.

[B]

I rounded up.

[A]

We love DTF St. Louis. It's all about male friendship and intimacy. And I even talked about it in therapy today. And my therapist was like, what men find when they become friends. We are such a broken gender. She was saying, she said cishet so cisgendered Heterosexual men have a really hard time.

[B]

Neurospicy. Cisheads.

[A]

Yeah. I'm a sis head and I'm neurospicy. But it can be hard. It's illogical to be friends. Like, I don't know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know what it is. So you go on these dates, and I've been going on man friendship dates.

[B]

Wait, what was she saying? You find, though.

[A]

Oh. That they unlock things in you that you didn't know you had.

[B]

I think that's true parts of you

[A]

that your partner can't unlock.

[B]

And I believe that, too.

[A]

I didn't know that. That's pretty interesting. Like, it awakens things in you.

[B]

I really think that's true, because that is. And I bet even, like the thing about the jealousy that we've talked about here, that you can feel jealous of my friendships.

[A]

Can feel.

[B]

Can't not feel.

[A]

Can't not feel. No. It's embarrassing.

[B]

But I think that it would quelch that if you have even just. Yeah. Quelch.

[A]

You mean quench or squelch?

[B]

Squelch. I love both of those because you, you know, like, you would have. Have a reference for that type of intimacy that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To do with us or.

[A]

No, I know.

[B]

Not threatening.

[A]

I started. My main reason is I want my daughter to see that I have friendship. So she sees. Like, it's weird that that's my number one. But I remember being like, why don't my parents have friends?

[B]

I kind of felt the same way. My parents had strange relationships. They did have some friends, but they

[A]

had weird, like, allies, like neighbors.

[B]

It was, like, very much embedded in the church. And so then it was a lot. There was no. Like, there was. There wasn't none. But there was very little actual transparency and intimacy.

[A]

Well, that's. So your dad is. It was a pastor. And. And there's overlap there, I think. Pastors. I'm not speaking. Let's put your dad to one side. I'm just saying, pastors. Am I in character?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is that what we're doing? Yeah. And then comedians. I'm like, am I in character? So I'm trying to go. One of the things I'm doing on my mandates is trying to be as normal as I can be and just be me. I know that sounds very basic, but even I'm being more lit up on this podcast than I. Than I necessarily was during these man days because I'm like, can I. Can this just be, like, a nice place? Be a nice place where we hang out. But the way, you know, that their dates is like, you're not talking normal. Yeah, there's like a little bit more like of a. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And afterwards you go, you talk about it exactly the same way.

[B]

You're like, how did it go?

[A]

I think we'll do it again.

[B]

Yeah, like it's too early to say. You didn't say.

[A]

I mean, with one of them I was like, it's too early to say. The one I went on today, I was like, yeah, I liked it. He was interesting. Like just exactly like talking to a girlfriend.

[B]

But that is, that's. That's true. That's how I feel about first hangs with. With new friends too. Is like we're putting our best foots forward. Best feet. Best foot. Yeah, respectively forward. And. And we are just being interesting. And so the test really is like, am I interested in what they are saying? And I always go to like, are they a little bit of a weirdo?

[A]

Yeah, I need some weirdo.

[B]

Have to be a weirdo.

[A]

I need a little brokenness.

[B]

I know a lot of people who are lovely on paper and the things that they say are interesting to me, but they're not freaky enough for this freak.

[A]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I get overwhelmed, if I'm being honest, even in this moment. The idea of having a male friend in this moment.

[B]

But anytime I have. Sorry, go ahead. No, I feel strongly about this.

[A]

Go ahead.

[B]

Anytime you are trying to picture a relationship where that there isn't a person in mind. It's just a concept. You never feel up for it. This is the thing.

[A]

Oh, interesting.

[B]

I think this is real.

[A]

This is good.

[B]

I think like anytime anybody's just like, this is why, you know, it's the same with having kids. Kids, A second kid especially because, you know, and look where we are right? To only have one kid. But I think what happens is you're like, all I can think about is the hard stuff. And then you're like, yeah, but you are in love with that person, so you want to do all of it. Or if you're in a romantic relationship and you're like, you know, everybody I know who's like divorced and are like, ah. I'm just like, I have to get to know a whole other person and they are gonna get to know me. And you're like, yeah, but in the scenario when you meet that person. Yeah, you want to do all of that.

[A]

Well, that's what I used to say about the baby will wake you up five times, seven times, 12 times a night. And it's like, yeah, but you love them.

[B]

You love them.

[A]

You love them so much.

[B]

Yeah. So I think when you.

[A]

That's really good advice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It just think about the daunting task of male friendship. The book called Male Friendship. I'm just like, what the, What I'm. Why am I taking a college course?

[B]

Yeah. It shouldn't feel like a task. It should, but it does. But it, I mean, it feels like a task until you meet the right guy. And then this is.

[A]

I love you, man.

[B]

It is, it really is.

[A]

I just, I can't. But we're gonna be in a band. I don't even. There's parts of I love you, man where I'm just like, what the is this?

[B]

But if you are hanging out. Okay, let's.

[A]

They're jamming.

[B]

Well, I guess I won't say any names because it's kind of embarrassing, but there are people whose names I could say you're doing that with who I think you would be thrilled to do that with. I'm just saying. Matt Johnson.

[A]

Yes. If Canadian filmmaker Matt Johnson wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons or something, I've got the sense that he's like into hardcore games. Yeah, I would love that.

[B]

Exactly. That's what I'm saying. So when you, when you have somebody in your life that you want to

[A]

get to know, I know why you backed away from that, but I don't think that's embarrassing. I, I, I. There's certain people that I'm just like, it happens with all types. But very taken with, just very inspired by.

[B]

That's who you go with. That's who you become friends with, people who you're taken with.

[A]

Well then, no. No hope for me.

[B]

No, you just haven't met them yet.

[A]

I'm taken with Birbiglia and he lives. Michael Buble, I just haven't met. Yeah, that'll be me on my deathbed. I just never met a guy.

[B]

No. You're putting yourself out there for the first time ever, I think so. That will come back. That will be rewarding, I'll say.

[A]

The main problem with me is, and maybe we've talked about this, I feel like a 12 sided die. And I don't know which version of me they're gonna text to hang out. And I just, I can't. Like even with you, you see all the different sides of me. There's quiet, weird me who. And I don't mean weird, I just mean it's not typical for me. Very quiet, very inside churning on something, processing something. Where am I? We'll call this one where am I? And I know I'm safe to show that to you. There's no guy I know that wants to hang out with where am I beat?

[B]

I don't know. I think. Think you have friends in your life that you could be in any mood to hang out with. Unfortunately, they're all long distance.

[A]

I know that brings me back to my whole thing, like, why. Why bother?

[B]

But they just happen to be all long distance, and one of them is moving back. So I think that will solve a lot of it. But, yeah, I'm with you. I require that in friendship is like, what I. Not every single one of my friends is like this, but my closest friends are the ones that I can, like, bump into and be like, I am in a mood. I don't want to talk to anybody.

[A]

I had that with Joe DeRosa. I miss Joe. Yeah, they all go away.

[B]

But you also had that with Sam. You do have that with Sam. Sam knows all of your moods. You have friends. So much of this is reminding you that you do have friends, that they just live far away.

[A]

Well, Michael Gunger is. Is probably. I don't want to rank them. I'm just saying I love Michael Gunger to death. And they all. They're all just gone there. I. I'm realizing as we're talking, I'm a little depressed today. Like, in this moment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is the third thing I've done today.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm just feeling kind of sad. I'm having that feeling of, like, is all of life just going and pouring your oatmeal sack. You have a big sack of oatmeal, and you just pour it into different bowls. And then at night, you go, I hope more oatmeal grows while I sleep. And then you wake up and you're like, oh, the oatmeal's 70% full. And then you go around. That's how an introvert feels, by the way. Yo, you want some oatmeal?

[B]

Oh, the oatmeal is like your energy.

[A]

Your energy, your effort, your anecdotes, your stories, your mood. Any mood is manageable if you can talk about it. If. But, like, even that takes a little energy to be like, this is how I'm feeling today. But sometimes it just comes out as petulance.

[B]

This is how I understand. First of all, I want to say I know exactly how you feel, and I've definitely felt that. I felt that, like, the last couple days. But. But that's to continue the Oatmeal metaphor. An introvert feels like that and an extrovert feels like. And then everybody else, you know, has the water to make that oatmeal edible. So I'm pouring in to these bowls my oats, but it's not worth anything unless there's somebody there bringing their ingredient, too.

[A]

Val, I am sad talking about this. Not a bad sad. I just can't see it happening. I really.

[B]

And you know the version of you to ask.

[A]

Stay tuned.

[B]

This is not the version of you to ask. You're just tired. And you. You. You will. I know you will probably later today be in a mood where you're like, I have friends. I've got my friend. Like, you'll be able to see it. I was trying to do a Seinfeld. I couldn't really do Seinfeld.

[A]

No, I liked it. I liked it.

[B]

But also, like, we can honor the. The part of you that's experiencing this right now. I just think, like, the mind state that you're in right now is coloring it all.

[A]

Yeah, no, you're absolutely.

[B]

You're absolutely right, which is understandable. And I've had that too. And I am an extrovert. And sometimes I'm like, I cannot give myself to all of you.

[A]

Well, I see that happening to you too. Unfortunately, living with you has only bolstered my position that friends ain't shit. Not really. Not really. But, like, I do. You're always wonderful about it. And this isn't me spilling the beans on you. You can always handle it, and you're always there. But I'm like, man, a friend, unfortunately, in this low state, just seems like another person that can like that, that needs you.

[B]

But I do think it is not just that. It's like parenting again. People who don't have kids, and that's totally a legit thing. I don't need to say that. But people who don't have kids look at people with kids and go, why on earth would I do that? Yeah, you guys are miserable. And all you talk about is how tired and miserable you are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's like, yeah, because we're under a love spell that you can't see, so you can only see the external.

[A]

Okay, yeah, that's helpful. Because what I'm also feeling. And this is good, I always remember touring with Paris to Shay one time, the pre check line was closed, so I had to wait in this long ass line. And she went, this is good. Things shouldn't always go your way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was like, I really thought that was so funny and true.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And also, here we are. I'm feeling a little bit of despair and jealousy that I am watching you. Like when you and Lisa. And we've talked about this. When you and Lisa are just, like, giggling and laughing. I fucking. I really am, like, really jealous of it, I think. And it comes out as being jealous. Wanting you for myself.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But there's also another more interesting level of the jealousy, which is I'm just like. It comes out as like, what are you guys, idiots? I know we've talked about this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, you know, I don't think either of you are idiots. I'm just saying, like. Like, it's like the bully that's like, yeah, you fucking dumb. But, like, really, he's just throwing rocks at a brick wall during recess. Like, this kid needs a fucking friend.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's how I feel. And you're rocking it with so many people. I had a really interesting conversation with my brother, and I'm really working on this. Is that, like, the way we were tuned as children in the environment that we were in? We, like. We have this very binary. Like, is this an attack or is it. It's like attack or gift. I guess that's why one of the ways I love people is people that are very helpful. Like, you're very helpful to me. That's not all you are. In fact, you're not even the first example. But, like, Ricky, my director, very helpful. That's a quick way to my heart. I edited these clips. I have these ideas. Like, what do you think? I'm like, oh, my God, this guy's helping me. That's a really clear way to indicate to me that you're not attacking me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the things that my brother and I, we laughed so hard about. This will perceive as attacks are. Are you ready? Almost everything.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's not because things are attacks, and it's not because it's intellectualized. It's because of this incredibly hypersensitive alarm system that I was. My example. Let's say I was talking to a friend about peanut butter, and I love peanut butter. And he's like, what kind of peanut butter do you like? I'll be like, the fuck is your problem? Like, I'll go to, like, what's your angle?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is why I. I tend to relax around people like Canadian filmmaker Matt Johnson, because he'll be like, oh, Skippy is the best. Skippy's the best. If you get, like, a natural, creamy Skippy. Have you ever had one From Toronto. Oh, yeah. I'm kind of trying to do them.

[B]

Yeah, no, it's kind of good.

[A]

But I. I go like, oh, this guy's got takes. Yeah, that's Joe, too. Derosa. God. Chunky. Make up your mind you're a bowl of peanuts. Be fucking creamy or whatever. And I'd be like, oh, this guy's not attacking me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's just do. And then I can.

[B]

Yeah, this is.

[A]

This is interesting. Like, I'm remember. And Michael Gunger is a different kind of friend. I would rant about peanut butter, and he will laugh his ass off.

[B]

He loves it. Yeah.

[A]

I don't just mean like a punch. I mean, he's locked into you. You're the only thing that's happening. And he can't believe you have such a strong preference for unsweetened peanut butter. And then somehow it would dovetail into like, isn't it weird that we're in God's mind right now and I would just love it? So I. You. This is happening. What you prophesied happened. I have friends. Yeah, but, man, I don't know how to get these freaks together. They're like fireflies.

[B]

I know, but this is what I was going to suggest anyway, is that you pick any one of those, including my brother, by the way, who hasn't been mentioned. I think you could call any of those people today and have a conversation that would just make you feel better about all of this. You just need to call one friend and connect and remember that you can connect and that it feels good to connect and that that exists. Not all, but a lot of my.

[A]

I have that with Mikey. Mikey. What we would do is a bet. Would write a bit about peanut butter.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Is it butter? Anything you mashups butter now.

[B]

Yes, that's right.

[A]

I bet butter's looking at peanut butter. Like, really? Are you culture? I was churned, baby. You gotta churn the name Butter.

[B]

Save it for him. I'm just kidding. I loved it. I loved it.

[A]

I loved it. You knew I would love that.

[B]

I did, but, yeah, no, I. I think that you.

[A]

You gotta churn the name Butter.

[B]

Gotta churn the name Butter.

[A]

Butter is churned.

[B]

Yeah. I don't even remember now, but I do think that just connecting with anyone. Oh, well, that's what I was gonna say is so many of my friends are long distance, too, and we do the thing you would never do and you hate, but we send voice memos. But you don't mind phone calls as much as I do.

[A]

Derosa. And I Will voice memo. And Mikey and I talk almost every day.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't know why. I. I just kind of. I hit the bottom. I had therapy, a podcast, a lunch.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And now this.

[B]

So. Yeah.

[A]

And. But this is. I think this is worth recording and worth sharing. There's people out there that when we engage too much, it starts to look like depression. Like, you're just sort of like, I feel that would be. What's the point?

[B]

I.

[A]

You want some oatmeal? I don't feel that way about you.

[B]

I understand.

[A]

But the idea of calling your brother and riffing on Rolo Candies right now, it's. That's exhausting to me. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So maybe calling somebody right now isn't the best, but maybe, like, tomorrow, calling anybody after you're rested.

[A]

Well, that's. That's the other thing I don't like about myself. Like, this is. This feeds into this. Like, meaning I don't like this. It's all about me. I feel up. And now I'm texting. I feel down. Now I'm ignoring. Like, what a.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I don't like. I don't like being swayed by the weather of my mood. I feel. I'm annoyed, but I. That I don't know where. I'm texting Pat Walsh and being like, hey, what chicken? And like, that must be confusing for him, too. This ghoul that lives in the belfry occasionally comes out in a party hat. It's like, I feel like partying. I feel like partying. And then as soon as I don't. I'm like, goodbye. I don't even say goodbye. I just turn into bats.

[B]

I mean. Okay, I hear you.

[A]

That sucks. Here's what you don't know. It sucks for the ghoul.

[B]

It sucks for the ghoul, too. But I also think two things. One, like, you can love that part of yourself, and I bet that's very relatable to all introverts. And then also, you just need one friend, which I think you have this friend, but, like, just one friend that you can say, like, I am going offline today. Like, Like, Jill and Lisa are my two best friends. And. And I literally. We say that to each other. We go, like, I'm zonked out today. I'm not gonna be with my phone. I'm going. I'm going dark. Like, don't. You know? Like. Or we just say, like, I'm tired, and I don't want to go to that thing where we planned. And then the other Person goes, yes, good for you. Great job saying what you need. Please rest up. Always. Like, that's what I was going to say is you almost need somebody who is like you in that way, because then they give you permission to be that way. And they will also be that way with you. And you'll be thrilled to be the one to say to them, like. Like, no worries. I understand.

[A]

You know, when we listen to Matt Johnson on Stavros's podcast, which I thought was great. Stavros is obviously Greek, and he's talking about, like, the Greek guys that just hang out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they have their coffee and there's like a football game on. I mean, soccer game. And they're just hanging out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was like, I get that.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I was like, maybe. Maybe I need, like a. I don't. I hate all of this. All of these solutions suck. But that's kind of what a comedy club is in the green room. But I don't want to just keep defending myself and be like, I already have it. Because clearly I'm like, I know there's an aspect of my life that I'm missing out on, but it's not, I love you, man. I don't want fucking.

[B]

Well, it'll look different. It'll look different based on your interests. Like, that's the thing. It'll be talking about non dualism while you're, like, swimming in a pool or sitting in a hot tub.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which you do have friends that you do that with.

[A]

Yeah, that's Sam.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

And gungies.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think one of the reasons why I mythologize Canadian filmmaker Matt Johnson, which, by the way, everybody see Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie.

[B]

It's just so good.

[A]

It's just one of the greatest. It's like a blood transfusion of hope to me.

[B]

I know that.

[A]

I'm like, oh, human beings will always be the shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In a world where it keeps telling us that we're not shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can I share one AI thought before we get out of here? Yes. I'm all lit up about it. I wrote it in my phone. And I don't know if it's true, but I thought it was so funny. I go, AI is Nexium. What I'm saying is human beings, God love us, we don't know when we're being conned. Like, we don't know when we can't see the full picture. And when you really look at what gets us and tricks us and, like, makes us give up or surrender or Join. Remember when Keith Ranieri, the. The founder of Nexium, he had to like make. He was doing some math equation and he was like, and I had to invent a new kind of math, right? And the guy who made the movie was just like, oh, my God, a new kind of math. This guy's out there making new kinds of math. That's A.I. the A.I. solved this problem. It made a new kind of math. None of us even know what the fuck new kind of math means. But if you say you're doing it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Forget it. So Keith Ranieri was confident, fast and right some of the time. Remember, they cured Tourette's. Fucking cured Tourette's.

[B]

Tourette's, yeah.

[A]

I'm not saying they cured Tourette's full stop. One guy went to Nexium with Tourette's after a 30 year battle. They cleared up his Tourette's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who knew you could do that, right? That's what's happening with AI it's doing some stuff. It's curing some Tourette's. I'm not saying it's not curing Tourette's. I'm saying we are so quick to give over our allegiance and be like, it is the dawn. It is the end. It is here. Look to fucking Heaven's Gate for more examples of this. If you are confident and fast and right some of the time, people will kill themselves. That's our species. You think it's them, the people on the tv? Motherfucker, it's you. And it's happening. It solved the equation. It cured Tourette's. And guess what? It's fucking wrong. And there's a sex ring and there's bullshit and there's environment and there's misinformation. It's fucked. But we're such a. I always go to the Avengers where Loki is like, you were made to kneel. You were made to kneel. You want a ruler? Because we do, right? And you need to remember, one of the keys to clarity is going, wait, I'm in a deeply fallible species. My species is the Heaven's Gate people. My species are the Aztec. We have to sacrifice a human once a month, People, we are fucking fucked. When it comes to confidence, intelligence, and being right some of the time. You killed that guy. And then it rained the next week. Oh, this guy. This is the guy. That's AI we need historical context for what's happening. It's on one hand the newest thing that's ever happened, and on the other hand, it's the oldest thing that's happened and will keep happening.

[B]

That's so fascinating. We do want a leader because like, you know, and I'm. Whatever, I'm just gonna go with this. But like we created God.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

Created an idea of God and the gods because we know that we're part of something bigger. So then we go to like, there's something bigger than us.

[A]

God knows.

[B]

And that's the thing that we should be Keith knowing. Down.

[A]

AI knows, Elon knows, Zuckerberg knows.

[B]

And also the thing that makes us fallible is our openness. It's like something that's beautiful and unique about us. So these things are sinister. In taking advantage of the most tender,

[A]

beautiful human quality, we all want to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. Every single one of them is hardwired to max. And I cured Tourette's. Well, let's look the other way on these tattoos.

[B]

Yeah, totally.

[A]

The fucking day data centers are the tattoos. We're in Nexium. That's it. And I'm saying that in a huge relief. Relief.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm saying that to give you hope, to say like, this is happening.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's always happened.

[B]

It's always happening.

[A]

It will always be happening.

[B]

Yeah. It's just a different name to the same pattern that repeats itself. And all we have to do is not join the culture.

[A]

That's right. It's alchemy. I know. I already mentioned medieval mindset. I found this YouTube channel that is great. And after. I found it from after school, which is another great YouTube channel. And they were talking about. He's making all these historical arguments like there's always been. We will. When we think of alchemy, we think we're going to turn lead into gold. But they were also saying, we'll cure every disease. We'll make you wealthy, we'll make you healthy. These are just the fucking things. And there's a corporation bleeding money and needing more. More intel, more money, more investors, all this stuff. And they're going, don't worry, we're going to cure every disease. And look, maybe they will. All I'm saying is they're in a lineage. They're in a long ass line of Pharaoh's magicians and the alchemists and the fucking everybody's. And it's not new. And there's a great. I'm so 47. But there's a great comfort in going, I am a human being in a context that is totally deep. It is deep. It is as old as fucking apples that somebody Wicked Smart is going to be like, I can cure all your diseases. Just give me all your money and look the other way while I do whatever the fuck I want. That's everybody.

[B]

That's everybody. Old as apples.

[A]

It's as old as apples. And it's. And that. And don't forget the Tourette's part. I can't do this on stage. I'm just realizing. But like, the Tourette's part is. It is right some of the time.

[B]

Well, that's right.

[A]

Look to any other cult for examples of this. He healed my brother. It's right some of the time.

[B]

Well, that's the thing, is that the other thing it's taking advantage of is our tendency to be very black and white. So if it's right about some things, it's right about everything.

[A]

And if Zuckerberg makes Facebook and becomes a billionaire, he must know what he's talking about.

[B]

Yes. 100. There's like success and even, like, if social media connects us in a new way, then that's good. Right? And it's. And you know what I mean? And it's like, yeah, well, sure, I get to know more about, like, what my niece and nephew are doing. That's good. But it doesn't mean that the whole app isn't this actual insidious, this toxic poison for my brain.

[A]

That's exactly right. And I've always been fascinated with cult documentaries. I've seen them all. I've seen them all. Beautiful, beautiful. Cult. I love a girl's culture. What's wrong with culture?

[B]

I'm just culture for culture.

[A]

I think cult is the same. Don't say prefix like you're a fancy.

[B]

Don't.

[A]

Don't say prefix. Prefix. Off.

[B]

It's the same Latin root.

[A]

Oh, my God. Latin root. I'd love a good Latin root. But in Australia, that means a Latin lover that you root all the time. What were we saying?

[B]

Are you picturing a man or a woman?

[A]

I was picturing a man. If I'm getting rooted.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What were you saying?

[B]

Just lineage.

[A]

Same old, same old. Nexium.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You've been there. Kneeling. I think Halo Zuckerberg, black and white

[B]

is a social media is.

[A]

Well, there's a bias. We have a bias. If. Oh, cult documentaries.

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

They always start with what worked. I've mentioned this before, but when I watched the HBO Scientology documentary, they're just cat. The people that, like, left the church are casually telling stories about out of body experiences.

[B]

Right.

[A]

They're talking about shooting electricity from their fingers. It's Tourette's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And don't forget, you are in the group that gets won over by Tourette's. Fucking A. I use AI to write an ad script. The ads on this episode were probably assisted by Chad. GPT If I was in a pinch.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that. Okay. Tourette's. Tourette's.

[B]

Yeah. Right? Yeah. I mean, I think it is good to recognize that we have this vulnerability. And again, there is something to sort of the North Star being like, I am the animal who will always seek to maximize pleasure and minimize pain.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So how do I not ruin my life with that?

[A]

That's right. And that's why when you're as this our weekly. Don't, Don't. Don't just sit around chatting with this thing. It knows your makeup, and it will get you to put celery in your ass.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

MacGruber style. It's like just spitballing. Maybe do what MacGruber did. You're like, this thing's fast. It's confident. It's mostly right. Next thing you know, you're doing an ants on a log the Nasty way. I hated it, too.

[B]

I kind of liked it.

[A]

And I'm eating peanut butter presently.

[B]

Ew.

[A]

Okay, that was too far.

[B]

I don't know why. You made it too real. You know, I brought it into this world.

[A]

You're kind of wearing Matt Damon's sweater.

[B]

Oh, great.

[A]

So I'd love to give your boat a tug.

[B]

I'll show you my dinghy. Wait. My dinghy.

[A]

I'll put my oil tanker through your ice storm. No, no.

[B]

I used to. When I was a teenager, I spent a lot of time fantasizing about who my first boyfriend would be. And I had this vivid picture of this, like, handsome man who looked like. Or boy, obviously, who looked like Oliver Wood. I think his name was Oliver Wood from Harry Potter the first. The first movie. He's like the guy who teaches Harry how to play Quidditch. Anyway, and he. And this all goes back to it, which is that he wore a black turtleneck and he had a golden retriever.

[A]

The boy that teaches just.

[B]

Nope. Just the boyfriend that I was fantasizing about. But he had a golden retriever and he wore a black turtleneck.

[A]

I get it.

[B]

It was the early yachts. It was late 90s.

[A]

This goes back to last week when we were talking about when you give flowers to a girl, you're like, look, I've cared for this delicate thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A turtleneck is the flowers you wear.

[B]

Yeah. It's very tender.

[A]

It's a little bit like I'm worried about my neck.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How bad could I be?

[B]

Yeah. If I don't want my neck to see the. The elements.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not gonna be violent.

[A]

I'm choking myself. I won't choke you.

[B]

So I won't choke you. All right, you guys, I love this.

[A]

This was a. I guess we'll talk about it in the intro because to me, that was like a three act play.

[B]

Yeah, sure.

[A]

I had all the feelings.

[B]

Oh, I can't wait to talk.

[A]

Spend the rest of your life getting updates on.

[B]

I should say that to you more.

[A]

I can't wait to spend the rest of my life getting updates on that.

[B]

Isn't it weird that I don't know what you're gonna say about that, but you guys do because you already heard the intro.

[A]

Don't forget time is what eternity looks like when filtered through perception and thought.

[B]

Don't forget that quippy thing that you just said.

[A]

It's so easy to remember that time is what eternity looks like when filtered through perception and mental thought.

[B]

How could you forget? It rolls up the tongue.

[A]

It's easy to say, like snickers, Snickers, Snickers, Snickers. I love a Snicker.

[B]

Keep it crispy. You may win. You may win all.

[A]

Yeah, you make.